Double Dork Diaries 2

.
v
THIS DIARY BELONGS TO
c) Mkki J.'Maxwell
PRIVATE & CONFIDENTIAL
5)
l-f -found, fleKe reiuv-n lo N[t -for REWARD!
WO SHOPPING ALLOWED///©)
ALSO &Y
Pork Piaries
Pork Piaries: Party Time

Pork Piaries:Pop Star
Pork Piaries: Ska-tin^ £e*sa-tio»
Pork Piaries: Pear Pork
Pork Piaries: Hov/ io Pork Your Piary

SIMON AND SCHUSTER
First published 3s dn omnibus edition in djreat Britain in Z013 by
Simon and Sdbuster UK Ltd,
A CBS COMPANY.
Simon ? Sdbuster UK Ltd
Is-t Floor, ZZZ djray’s |nn Road, Lond on WCI* 0FB
VORK DfARfFS: POP STAR First published in <^reat Britain in ZOfl by Simon and Sdbuster UK Ltd,
a CBS domfany. Originally published in ZOil in the USA as DORK DIARIES: TALES FROM A MOT-
SO-TAUSMTBVTO? STAR by Si mor f SiKuvtcv CK'ilH'rcns PublisbihJ division,
IZ30 /Whue of Americas, New York-
DORK DIARIES: SKATING SENSATION -first published in $reat Britain in 2.012. by Simon and
Schuster UP Ltd, a CBS company. OriVmatty published as DORK’ DIARIES' TALES PROW A HOT-
SO-tjRACEPUL ICE PRINCESS in ZOIZ in tbe USA by Aladdin, an imprint of
-Simonf-
IZ30 Avenue of- Ameridas, New york-
Copyright © Radbel Renee Russell ZOil and ZOlZ

-Bookdesiy*-Vy Lisa-Vey-
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_All rights reserved-_
Tbe ri^bt ot Radbel Renee Russell to be identified as the author and illustrator oF this work
has been asserted by her in addordande with sedtions 77 and 70 oF tbe
Copyright, Design and Patents Adt, 17^0
11*11 [0 0 MvZ_
Simon f Sdbuster UK Ltd

1st Floor, ZZZ djray s Inn Road
London lMCI)( 0ttB
Simon f Sdbuster Australia, Sydney

Simon f Sdbuster India, New Delhi
A CIP datatoûe redord For this book is available from the British Library
t=m^-
This bdokr ls a work oF Fidtion.Tâmevâra^
tbe produdt o( tbe author’s imagination or are used Pidtitiously. Any resemblande
to adtval people hvtn^ or dead, events or lodales is entirely domdidental
printed and bound by CPI ^roup (UK)-Ltd/ Croydony-CR^ 4''/^
wwwsimonandsdhusterdom.au
Nikki's Road to Stardon checklist
Diva showdown
p| &FF feud
p[Talented entourage to back up
VIP (Ve r ^ in port a n t P o p Star)
£jrab your microphone, warm-up
-those vocal chords and je-t ready
-to rock in Pork Diaries: Pop £iar...

FRIDAY', NOVEMBER I
OM$!
I think yesterday was probably -the BEST day of my
entire life ©!!
Not only did I Kave a FANTASTIC time atthe

Crush, Brand on. but I think
be might actually like mef S$IXEEEEEEEEE!/// ©U
By Tike/ I mean as a REALLY good -friend-..............
Definitely NOT as a serious girlfriend or anything-

|m sure THAT would NE\/ER happen in a million
yearsf________
WIT/? Mostly because Tm the biggest DORK in the

entire school.__ . __ _ _
And with three spots, two left feet, one Cruddy.

social life and z-ero popularity, IV not exactly the
type of girl who’ll one day be Crowned prom gueen,.
I
Bui ikanks bo my widked dase o£ CRUSH—|T|£, ike
sli^Kily-ôo-fy-bliss-fully-lovesidk-sKabby-diid siyle
IV duvvehily vodkir/would de-fmiiely pub me m ike
vunnir>3 -fov- . . ..............
Z
It s just that I ’m HOT a ta$ ha$ (also known as
a iota I ly obsessed -fashion £H03X_^_
A*d Pm HOT hopelessly addicted to spending

-twite tKe $ross national product o-f a small
third-world tountry on tbe latest designer
dlo-tbes, shoes, jewelry, and handbags, only to
REFUSE -to wear -the s-tu-f-f one month la~tev_
betause it s "like,0M6j!Prattitally moreAHCIEHT
than YESTERVAV!!”-
UNLlÊ some people I know- • •_
"People" bein^. shallow, sel-P-tentred $ir|s

like , - -
MACXMZ& HOLLISTSR M
Calling /Watênz-ie a "mean îvT is an
understatement- Shes a RATTLESHAXE in pink
plumping lip 3I0SS and ankle boots-___ _
But. I m HOT intimidated by her or anything. Like,

bow juvenile would THAT be?!
3
I wish / Kadi something •that dould maritally
trans-forr* MB into my perfedt sel-f._
It would have tbe amaz-in^ power o-f Cinderellas

■fairy godmother, be easy -to use
to fit inside a ba$ or badkpadL
Something like, I dunno,maybe •
MAXWBLL'S ENCHANTED LIP

$LOS£ ©j_
My spedial lip ^loss would make eadb and every <yrl

look as beautiful on tbe OUTSIDE as sHe is on tbe
mim—
MBRAQE NICE djIRL (LIKE ME)
^ BEFORE
ZHCHAtOW
LIP4L0SS
WE SEE A '
HORMAL 4IRU
AFTER
BHCHAHTEP
LIP $U)£S
WE MAGICALLY SEE
MtlMERMAUTyj
*5
AVERAGE MBAKAIRL (LlXS MAO'BHZlB)
4r before
ENCHANTED
LIP 4U)SS
(WE SEE A POPULAR

6IRL IN DESIGNER
CLOTHING-)
AFTER
ENCHANTED
LIP4L0SS
(WE /WAÎCALLV see

HER INNER BEAUTyO
'■■mm
After spending kours studying tke potential
global impadt of tke Endkanted Lip djloss
pkenomenon, | was skodked and amaz-ed by my
sdientifid f indin^sj
Endkanted Lip £jloss &oz% HOT

look CUTE on EVER/O/VE!
Too bad, Aladênz-ie Mff
Anyway, I really kope Brandon da I Is me -today,_
I would to My FMAK if Ke actually did. But IV.

pretty sure ke probably won t- l/Vkidk, BTW, brings
me to this l/ERV important question • • •__
WOW AM you SUPPOSED TO WHEN A.

<$uy ACTUALLY UKES YOU If HS NBVBR _
BOTHERS TO CALLOW_
CRUSH |$ TEST Carefully examine tke f o|lowing

two pidtures-for si*ty sedonds-Can you spot tke _
7
CUTS CRUSH mo DOESN'T LIKE /DU
CRUSH
ANSWER: Tkere is HO DIFFERENCE! These two
dudes are IDENTICAL-!
VVkidk, un-fortunately, means your drusk basidally

IGNORES yo<* wketker ke adtually LfJÊS yV)U
or not!
(Thai was me teaîn^ my kair outjn-frustration!)_
Ludky -for me, my BFF Ckloe is a* exfert on ûys

and romande- Ske learned everytkin^ ske knows -from
reading all tbe latest teen maâz-ines and novels._
And my otker BFF Z-oey is a kuman l/Vikipedia and a

sel-f-kelf 3uru- Skes basidally a -fourteen-year-old
Dv Pkil in liy 3I0SS and koof earrings.
Tke tkree o-f us are 301*3 to meet at tke mall

tomorrow to skop -for jeans. I dan't wait to talk to
tkem about all tkis 3uy stu-ff bedause, seriously, I
don't kave a CLUE!
1
SATURDAY, NOVBmBBR 2
Cansomeone PLBASB tellme WWY n»y life is so

horrifically PATHETIC ©?!
Even when something FINALLYgoes R|£jHT,

something else ALWAV& $oes -terribly l/VR0N6jH!
My mom was supposed -to be -taking me -to -tbe mall

-today -to hang out with Chloe and Zoey- Co | was
TOTAL LY Bum BD when she to I d me I had to
wateh my bv-atty little si*-year-old sister, Btianna,
for forty-five minutes while she shopped for a new
toaster ©j
In spite of her Cute little angelic fade and pink

sneakers, Brianna is actually a baby Tyrannosaurus
te^jQn STEROIDS!_
There was no way I was goingto hangout with my

BFEs with HER tagging along.
So I told Chloe and Zoey Td try to meet up with

them as soon as my mom finished shopping-..
\0
I found a domfo\rtable spot to dbilla* v/itv>
my diary. Then I ordered Bvianna to park bev- little
butt v-i^kt beside me on tbe bendb and not n»ove--
I kadn t taken my eyes off Brianna for move
tkan a minute (or -tv/o or five) wken I discovered
ske’d dlimbed into tke mall fountain -to kunt_
for do ins/
Tkank goodness tkat water was really skallow/
Tken I made tke mistake o-f askir>^ Brianna wkat

tke kedk ske was doing in tkat fountain^ Ske put
ker kands on ker kips and glared a-t me impatiently-._
"Can t you seeJi's an emergendy?/ A »»ean old

witdk ka$ kidnapped Prindess Sugar Plum. /And_
Miss Penelope needs -to get -tkis money ou-t of
■tkewater so we dan buy a real, live baby unidorn
-from -tke grodery store and -fly to save tke
prindess/”
Hey, you ask a S|LL>/question, you get a SILLY

answer;
I dragged ker out of tke fountain and made ker

toss badk tke big pile of doins ske'd gathered.
IZ
Of dourse, Brianna was supermad at me tor
ker little treasure hunt-
So, -to distradt her, I suggested we -take a little_

stroll through the -food Courtto try to tind some
FREE -food samples to sâdk on. yuMMy/
That's when Brianna started egging me to take her

to her tavourite kiddie piz.z.a joint, Queasy Cheesy.
I don't have tke slightest idea why little kids love_

tkat plade so mudh.Jt kas tkese kuge, stu-ffed,
robotic animals tkat dande and sing ott—key.
Personally, I think its superdreepy tke way their_

eyes roll around in tkeir beads and tkeir mouths are
always out ot synd with their voides._ _
Maybe it's just me, but WWO would actually want_

to BAT in a restaurant tkat kas a six-*Coot-tall,_
mangy-looking RAT scampering around? I don't dare
tkat it sings ‘'Happy Birthday” and gives out -free..
balloons^
who used to live under my bed when I was really little-
My parents always insisted be was just a figment

o-f my imagination,.Bui he was j/ERV real -to ME/
jjjjf
UNDER MV BED
OMfi! Iwas absolutely TERRI FI ED he'd ^rab my

ankles and full me under my bed and I'd be STUCJ*
-there £or, like, ETERMTy'.
ft
Thank goodness |V older and more mature and
NOT sdared of silly, dhildish stuff like evil dlowns-
£*deft maybe during thunderstorms on really dark

nights when 1 see these strange shadows. ^_
Anyway- I was like, "Sorry, Brianna!I don'thave

any money- Well have to wait until Mum $ets
hadkw 1
"But / dan fay tor it!” Brianna whined- "With my

baby unidorn money from that ma$ida! fountain- IV
a RICH people fradtidally! I wanna 50 to QUBA&Y
CHBBSY! NOW!!”
That's when I notided that all of Brianna s fodkets

were stuffed with doinsfrom that fountain, _ _
My little sister WASN'T "a ridh feofle frantically”
But she D|D have enough loose dhanê to buy us a

medium sausage fiz.z^ with drinks.
WOQ-ftOOH W!
The pi2.2-a was actually pretty 300df For $ ueasy
Cheesy, anyway.
Just as we were •finishing up our meal, a waitress

fulled a random number out of a bowl and
e*ditedly announced that the guests a-t table 7
were tbe "ludky dudks” she'd selected to dome
up onstage amd sim^ tbe w! Lw Queasy Cheesy"
theme som^.
I was like, “Oh, CRUVH” Briamna amd I were sitt'm^

at table 7Ml
There was just NO WAV I was 301*3 up on that

staê m fromt of all those people to sm$ that
stupid soh^. j^nd I made that fadt VfcRV ^leav- to
tbe nide waitress lady,
Of douvse, thats whe* Briamna 3ot am attitude

about the whole thim^.
She adtually thv-ew a hissy fit v-i^ht thev-e in the

restaurantand- êt this - REFUSED T0
fOROURFOOVE
MM
I had never been SO embarrassed in my life/
17
But the sufevSCAR'/ part was that Bria»na,s .
silly little prank was ôin^ to land us BOTW
in JAIL-!
AU YSS1 IV aware that doin^prison time is the

latest fad for all those spoiled youn^ telebs;_
You know tKe -type. TKe in-famous party îrl/_
model/aetress wKo manages "to become botK an
[COM and an BX-COMbe-foreKey twenty—first
birthday_
SKe truly believes sKes above tKe law, because in_

KeyJi-ttle mind -tKe only REAL- CRIMES against
Kumanity are • • •
LFake designer purses

ZJ'RENEMIES
3. People wi-tK visible ear and nose Kaiys
So out o-f skeer desperation, I did wKat I Kad

to do.
Namely, perform tKe u| L-uv Queasy CKeesy" son^

witK Brianna so sKe would pay -for our meal-_
TKankgoodnesstKepeopletkereweremostly
parents and little kids- 1didn'tsee anyone I knew
-from my seKooJL
Ontewe took tKe sta3e and I'd $ot past my -feelings
H
>£ extreme ind mild ndused (v/bidb is
probably wby They eall ike fJaê QU£A$Y .Chcesytt
f bad io admit -tbe v/bole ex-periende was adtually
kind ol EUNJL .
Tbe drowd seemed -to love us, so Brianna and I really

II
We were $ettincj down with a -few Beyonde dande
moves, and -the audiende was dheenn$ us on,_
Thenthemost ^WFWL and £R0C£IMfj thin$

happened .•.•.........
jApparently,she’d just avvived with HER little sistev,

^n>anda, and hev- BFE_Jessida,__
VI
Jessica was pointing and laugkmg at melike I was
ike biggesi joke since ike inierrupiing Cow.
And I ioially FREAKED wken I realised Mackenzie

kad kev pkone oui and seeded io be -taking a piciure
or someiking.
I grabbed Brianna and praciically carried ker of-f

ike siage.
HblOOOi Lei go o-f me!” Brianna screamed- uTke song

isn i even over yei! We kave io ikrow kisses io ike
Crowd and—”
"Brianna.^ (is iime io go!” ( ku-f-fed, siill oui o-f

breaik- uMom is probably waiiing -for us back ai ike
-founiain!”
Bui be-fore we made ii io ike door, Amanda rusked

over and skoved a pen and napkin inio Briannas__
band- w| ve NEVER mei a real, live pop siar be-fore!
Can I kave your auiograpk?" ske gusked,_
Brianna beamed- "SURE? You can kave ii -for FREE!

AndLUI draw a pid-tuv-e o-P my real, live baby unidov-n
too! I dan rii
Amanda'seyes widened to -tbe siz,e o-P sa uders-_

have a RBAL baby vmidov-n?? Can | see it?!”
I Co«ld NOTbelieve Btianna was lym^ like -tKa-t- I

$ave ber a divty look and sbe s-tudk bev -tongue ou-t
at me-
"Well I <Wt have one just Y&T But I'm ônna buy
it from the ^rodery store as soon as my mom domes
badk with our new toaster- ’Cause $uess what?!
Some idiot poured orange juidein our old one and it
exploded and blew up our bouse- KAbOOM!!"
"Brian r*a!_” I sdolded- u/V|ove it/ Rl^ttT MOW!!"
?Adtually, I was just trying to êt out of there

before Madtênz-ie dame over- But no sudb ludk-_
"OM61[/ Nikki I You were hilarious/” MadKenz-ie_

shrieked- "You stunk worse than the boys’ lodker
/»
room'
"Yeah, it took a lot of $uts to $et up there and

humiliate yourself in front of the entire WORLD
like that./” Jessica snorted- . _ _ ___ _
I just rolled my eyes at both of them,___
I knew I wasn’t a professional singer or dander,

but the drowd seemed to like us. ^nd sinde when
had MacXenzje and Jessida bedome experts on
talent?
"Ob, please/ You -two wouldnh redo^niz.e 'tale^-t i*P it
dar*e up wearing a nar*e ta$, introduded itsel-f, and
slapped your -fade!” I bluv-ted out-_
MadKe.nz.ie and Jessida just glared ah we- I think

■they were probably a little surprised bedause J
usually j^s-t ignore tber* ov- say s-tu-f-f inside r*y bead
that no one else dan bear bu-t me,____
But thereV only so rwudb verbal abuse a person

dan ~take--—
"And besides/ I dontinued, "-there arent more_

than -fi-fty people in heve. I wouldn't dall that tbe
ENTIRE world ”
"Well, it WILL BE when | post this on YouTube,”

MadKenz-ie said, sneering as she waved her damera
ri^ht in my •fade- "Nikki Maxwell,.LIVE at Queasy
Cheesy// And you dan thank ME -for laundhin^your
dareer as a NOT-so-talented pop star!”
Then MadKenz.ie and Jessida both laughed

bysteridally at ber witty little joke- _...
I just stood there, stunned- Would Mad&nzje_
adtually do that to me?/
Something so • . • SINISTER and so . . VILE?/
Suddenly n»y stomadh -felt really sidk aâin and

started making ûr^lin^ sounds like that an^ry
dhodolate -fountain at Madênz-ie^ party._ _
Only it -felt like I had just eaten a ditty sodk and

then washed it down with a larê ^lass o-f room-_
temperature vineâr.___
l-f I didn't $et out o-f there -fast, Mad&nz-ie and .

Jessida were $oin^ to have a SECOND video to post
on YouTube.„One o-f me BARFING stale piz.z.a and

watered-down -fruit pundh all over their ^>300
designer jeans'
When we -finally met up with Morn, she was surprised

I was so anxious to 50 home-___
I just told her I didn't -feel so well and had dedided

not to 50 shopping with Chloe and Z-oey a-fter all_
27
So now I’m in r*y bedroom writing about all this and
trying not to
FREAK OUT!
Bedause if Mad&nz.ie posts that Queasy Cheesy
video on YouTube^^
OM0!
Somebody please VIAL- 111 bedause Im $oin$ to have
a massive beav-t attadk and PIE!!
SUNDAYK0VBMBBR3
( was so depressed about wbathappenedat Queasy

Cheesy yesterday, I dould barely dra$ mysel-P out of
bed this morning
So why bother?/
ve STARING at tbe wall and
SWUIN^
For some reason, wallowing in a trudkload of_

self-pity always makes me fee! a lot better©/
I finally $ot up around noon and spent tbe rest

of tbe day online dhedkin<} YouTube- I was on there.
pradtidally every ten minutes. | douldn t help it- It
was like I was obsessed or something_
I was hoping Madêntie bad just been joking about

posting that video- _______
Sbe absolutely
that.
2-1
By 8-?>0 p.r*. |*d tome totbedondlusiontkattbe
wKpie AKm^ was jus£ a nasty prank io FRfcAK me
out- And it WAV!
Mackenzie is meaner than a junkyard do<$

-totally despises me- But tbank goodness sbebadnt
Sone TWAT far!
I decided to dbedkone last time before I went

to bed a>nd the* tovaet about tbe
tbin<y
It was o-ftidial
was now on ô\jJmbe -Pov the
viewing
32.
/W it had already Kad seven viev/s ®!
(That was me streaming into rny pillowO
11
Bow am | joinj. ho -fade £ke ..kids a£my sdbool,
knowing ibeyre all sedreilylaughing ah we beb'md
wy back?!
$nd wba£ abou-t Cbloe, Zôey a*d Bv-ando^?
TbeyVeike$rea£es£friervdsever-
I drinêd ah ibe ibou^bi o-f fuit'm^ ibew ibrou^b

moreofike MAMAFBST ibai is my life._
I kef £ ref ea£i»$ one ikii^ over and over in my

bead.- • •
mournsMQVSMBmJr
There was^NC WAY I was 30^3 to <yo to sdbool

-today -to -Pade my publid e*edution by video. _
So I 50-t upe*tra early -to make a ba-tdb o-P my

m-Pamous Stay—Horne-prom—Sdbool Fau* Vomit-_
Un-Portunately, -tba-t was.MOT an option, bedause

we we're -to-tally ou-t o-P oatmeaLT was like, JUST
qlbalM
When f -finally arrived at sdbool, I was e^pedtin^

■to be merdilessly -teased, peppered with insultsand
bombarded with a never-ending supply o-P very lame
Queasy Cbeesy jokes,_
But "to my surprise, no one even mentioned"tba-t stupid

video. TtiAMjC£O0DM£££ ©/[Instead, -tbe entire.
sdbool was supere^diied and buz-z-in^ about tbe
updomin^ annual Westdbester Country Day talent sbow^
Its sdbeduled -PorSaturday, November %Ozh, and

tke^jud3e ibi§_ year is Trevor Cbase, tbe famous
pvodudev o-P the new hit TV show Alinu-Les o-P
Fame- Turns out he went to INCD!
The fviz.es were supposed to be pretty ôod too,

with -first plade be m3 the dhande to audition -for a
spot on his television show- Bow dool is THAT?/
£0 now Chloe, Zoey and I ave TOTAL-L-Y psydhed

about the talent show!
lA/e ve alveady 33veed to perform to3ethev. iNe just

have to -fûre out what weVe 30^3 to dojt's 3onna
be a BLAST -for suve ©!___
I d 3'ive 3nythin3 to be a ridh and -famous sin3'm3

sensation!
Bedause when Nikki Maxwell the WCV STUDENT

is WEIRD, RUDE, SLOPPY and CRAZY everyone
BATES her. She's tailed a LOSER ©!
ME, AS. h NOT-SO-TALENTED WCP LOSER
MYMTD04 IS-SO
ttov/evev-, when Nikki Maxwell He POP STAR is_

WEIRD, RUDE, SL0PP/ and CRAZY, she $ets_
mobbed by fans, paid millions of dollars and everyone
LOVBSher-She'sda I leda LEGEND ©/
37
ME, AS h KOT-SO-TALENTED
POP PRINCESS LEGEND
.......My hot do$

is so jyroovyf ^Buvpf^
please7'&auseI'd rather- have

my hot dlo^ with peanut
Anyway, | SAW BRAMMBJHBIOLOGY TODAY!!

SQUSSSBBSBBBSSS &!_
Well, actually,I see Brandon in biology BVBRYDAY-

But today was superspeeial bedause it was tbe first
time I've seen kimsinde tbe DANCE!!
He told use (AGAIN! kowmudk ke enjoyed kanging
out v/rfck mA £QU££££1z££S£E£ ©II
And get tkisj/ He said we skouid tonsidew sitting

togetker at lundk to study for our future biology
tests/!! I blusked profusely and suggested tkat we
start studying for tkene*t-test ASAB_
Like . . . TOMORROW/ ®"
Mostly because I'm VfcRY serious about my studies.

Especially my BIOLOGY tests/
But Brandon said he Wouldn't sit with me at lundh
-for the ne*t double weeks bedause his editor has_
assigned him to train a new photographer -for the
sdhool newspaper
| smiled at him and was like, uUm . . . Okay^ Sure”_
But deep down inside I was a little disappointed- _
I started worrying that maybe he was just making

up a lame e*dusebedause he didn't want to han^
out with me after all _ ........
So I dedided to talk to Chloe and Zoey about it,_
Chloe said for me not to worry bedause Brandon

was the one who dame up with the whole sittin^-
toêther-at-lundh thin<y l/Vhidh meant he was
ready to take our telationship to the ne*t level-
0M$! I almost forgot/ Mow I have 0ME m ore thin5
\0
to-lieawake.nights worrying about- There were
at least a doz^n ants drawling around in biology
today.^
Madênz.ie »*ade a bi^ -fuss about êttin^ ant

3erms until our teadher told her that if she
didn't sit down and finish her lab refort; her
$rade was 501 n5 to be A LOT nastier than any
ant $err*s. ...
But what if the problem $ets worse?! This dould

turn into a major disaster! My teadher dould
domflain to the janitor; the janitor dould domflain
to the sedretary; the sedretary dould domflain to
the prindipal and the prindipal dould domflain
to..;-!--.
MUST MOT- PANICH Breathe in, breathe out!
A^VWAYi before I so rudely interrupted myself;

I was abou-t -to say -tbai Cbloe and Z-oey tbink
Brandon mi^bt ativiallylike r*e|
TUESDAY',HOJ/SMteRS
MacKezzdZis even move EVIL than I imagined!
I was wondering why she had gone through the

trouble of redording that video o-f me at Queasy
Cheesy and posting it on YouTube,only to keep it a
bis secret!
It -made no sense WHATSOEVER! gut /VO W I know

why she did it
I was at my lodker jotting down ideas for the talent

show when | wasjrudely interrupted^_
w What s up, Nikki! I !ve gotsomesuperE)<ClTlN3news

to tell you, HOK , J!"_
I dould NOT believe Mad&nz.ie had the nerveto _
dome up to me adting all friendly like she hadn't..

just tried to DESTROY MYLIFE a mere three
days ago!
"I'm putties together a group f0,r ^he talent show,

a*d I'm looking -(-or supertalented danders with (real
star power. Heres all "the m-lroZ
re bi$, batted her superior

lashes, and shoved a piede IhJn^
t a t£-^
I squinted and -tv-ied to read it-
But I was having a really hard time bedause she

darkled it in -front o-f my eyes and started swinîn^
it badk and -forth,___
Andbadk and forth-
And bade and -forth.
I knew ri^Kt then and there she was up to no $oodv_
It took every ounde o-f my strength NOT to be

dompletely mesmerized by the brilliant radiande o-f
her awesome, yet sidkenin^, pertedtion-_
finally I just snatdhed the paper -from her and
read it-
ARfc YOU CUTS, c o
COOL&TAUNTED?
—Do you love to da*def~
If so, joi
MAC'S MANIACS - 0
A dande gvoup dboveo<yrapbed by

Madênz-ie Hollister
First per-formande v/ill be

at tbe VVCD talent sbowr
Pradtide dates to be
announded
0 ^ • t :*%:
—fc -
I had a RBALL-Y bad -Peeling about that îv-l and

bev- little dande-^roup tbin<y_
Why would she want MB?!
Espedially after Chloe, Zoey, and I 30-t that P

on ouv Ballet of the Zombies dande routine_
m 3y^_——
Then there was that other small issue ,
SHE HATES Mi ^MTS»

/^nd after her very publid and humiliating defeat at
the art dompetition, I was sure she was hatdhin^ a._
diabolidal plan to win the talent show,_
Unless, after seeing me perform at Queasy Cheesy,

MadKenz-ie had suddenly realized I was supertalented,
with huê star power?
Maybe she wanted me ON her team so she wouldn't

have to dompete AGAINST me-
The whole dondept kind of blew my mind-_
That s when I started thinking that working with

Maddenz-ie on ber dande group might allow us to put
aside ouv differendes ant
It would be hide HOT having to put up with her verbal

abuse or worry about bev blabbing my personal business,--
I even tried to donvinde myself that hanging out

withMadênz-iewouldn’tbesobad-_
OmCe I got used to bev abrasive personality-
And her over-inflated ego-____
And ber addidtion to lip gloss,_
And tbe fadt that sbe bas tbe 1$ of a plastic

bouseplant
I even imagined myself doing tbe kind of stuff I’d

overbeard tbe CCP (Cute, Co01 & Popular) d I i gu e
bragging about- __
Like lounging on tbe beadb at Mad&nzjes summer

borne in tbe Hamptons-,, ___ __ __
m;Wh
SUPERCUTE SWIMSUIT,
LOUHÎH^ OH THE
BEACH AT MACKENZIE'S
SUMMER HOME!! .
-
|;d de-finitely invite my -friends -to M/ summev Home

m tKe Hamptons/ Jf | Kad one,. • _ ... _ _ _ _.
Finally I made up my mind -to $ive Key a dKande-
CKloe, T'Oey and I weye ôin^ to Kave a blas-t dan£in$

onstage toêtKey in Alatênz-ies ^youp.
A
It would be just like our old Balled o-r tbe Zombies

days, only BETTER! I $ot a really warm and -fuz-zy
-feeling inside jusi -thinking about it ©!!
MadKenz.ie fulled out ber new lip 3I0SS, Dedadent

Dandin^ Diva Deli^bt, applied a -fresb layer, and
stared at me with ber idy blue eyes.
"So, Nikki ... if you know any super talented danders

with star fower, like, urn• •CHL0E and ZOBY,
jive 'e» -this flyer, okay?”
My brain was like, "iNbat tbe • • • ?!! Did sbe just

say^CbLoe JandJZoey,£!^_
Apparently, tbe little blonde-baired weasel wanted

ONLyl Cbloe and Zoey in ber dande $roup and not ME!
Hey, rd be tbe FIRST to admit that Cbloe and_

Zoeywere sufertalented danders, probably two o-f
tbe best in tbe sdbool-
But wbat did Madênz.ie tbink I was? CHOPPED

UVm! RETRIED BEANS?!!_ ‘_
50
It felt like ske kad just slapped me advoss tke fade-
Mtk a steel pipe ov sometkin^.
uUm . . . sure/' I muttered- 'Til tell Ckloe and Zoey.

But just so you kjrioy/j tketkveeof us were alveady
planning on dom<y sometkm^ fov-.....tKe talent skow
toêtkev”
wWelL youVe $oin$ to kave to CWAMQB youv PLANS,

tkenf I veally want tkat audition fov- /5' Minules
OVrn witk MB
instead of a no-talent LOSER like VOU, it'll be a
slam dunk fov me
Ldould MOT believe Madênz.ie was talking smadk

vi^kt to my fade like tkat____
"djlRL, PUH-LBEZ^” I said; doing one of tkose

Tyva Banks nedk-voll tkingies tkat I'd pvadtised
in tke mivvov fov kouvs. "You must be delusional
ov something. 0v maybe youv kaiv dlips ave so
tigkt,tkeyVedutting off tke o*ygen to youv.

bvainjn spite of wkat tkose voides in youv kead
ave telling you, weVe MOT youv little monstevs/
I sugges-t you go find some o-tber people {,o be you1
pu
MadKenz-ie was so angry, I ing jto

wbadk wve over •tbe bead wi*tb ber new Ka*te Spade
bobo purse._
Tm warning you, Atowell/"she Kissed "If you so
»*udh as look at me thejwron^ way, 111 make sure
everyone sees your little Queasy Cheesy video. You'll
$et laughed ri<}ht out of -this sdhooL Even your
pity-pals, Chloe, Z-oey and Bvar>cloir>, will be too
embarrassed to be seen with you|"
"This is a talent skow, Mad&nzje-Did it ever oddur to

you to try winning by usin^ your ■ ■ • urn . . . TALENT?
Or is tkat a problem bedause you don't have any?"
Maddenz.ie took a step towards me and put her_

kands on ker hipsZ'Better yet, maybe I'll just send
our bi$ sedret. don't
belong kere, and your dad—" _
"WttATfcVBR!” I shouted- "Like I really dare wkat

people think about me at this sdhool/"
But I do dare- And just thethought o-f ker threats

made me break into a dold, dlammy sweat- My throat
was so ti^kt I dould kardly breatke-_
"Honestly, Madlsenz-ie/ Tke. talent skow is HOT
51
that big of a deal -to me and definitelyisî worth
dealing with all your drama”
'Well, its a big deal to MB! i DESERVE my fifteen

minutes of fame, so stay out of my way”
TKen Madlsenz-ie smirked and flipped her Kaiv- in my

fade Hike sbe was.all that and a bag of dhips) and
wrinkled her perfedt little nose at me._
"OM# WHAT is that HORRIBLE smell?/ I tbink_

thestendh of your dheap perfumeis starting to_
overpower my expensive designer fragrande- What did
you spray on this morning, Madaroni Cheese?!”_
I just gritted my teetb and rolled my eyes at ber. Is

it a drime to eat mad and dheese for breakfast?? We
were out of dereal/L©/_
Then /VIadKenz-ie turned and sashayed down tbe ball.

I just it when sbe sashays.//
I was about to open my lodker when | was pradtidally

trampled alive by a large group of CCP girls-_ _
"0M6i, M3 JVûsi heard about your dande
i»
^roup;
“Everyone knows youVe ôin^ "to win|”
U/Hads yvianiads R0CKS/ Can I join?"
“Wart: up, Mad&nz-ie^ Wait up/w
They sdrambled 3-fter Mad&nz-ie like mindless .

lip-^loss-wearin^ . . . z-ombie• • .... baby dudks or
som ethin^
JLjus-t s-tood -there siarm^ a-t -the fron-t o-l
lodker like an IDIOT- Ueli SOMMlLlATBDl
Hoi -tears flooded my eyes and I -tried my bes-t -to

blink -them away-
However, ins-tead of drying, I decided -to rip

Madênz-ie^s flyer inio a million li-ttle piedes-
At this point I want nothing WHATSOEVER to do
with /Vladênz-ie^ Ov- that stupid talent show!
I'll he SO $lad when this HORRIBLE day is over- ©if
■57
WBDHBSMY NOVEMBER *>
IV so sick and tired o-fMadlsenz.ie manipulating me,
I dan t believe sbestrying to keep me -from

dompetin<} in tbe talent show-_
Its like sbeS OBSESSED with winning it. Her eô is

SO BI4 it bas stretdb marks!
I tbink tbe best tbin$ -for me to do is avoid ber like

tbe plague- Wbidb is NOT ôin^ to be easy, bedause
my lodker is ri^bt ne*t to bers.__
I've dedided that mentioning tbe video to my parents

would just make things worse,_
My momwould $usbabout bow talented and

AVOKABLB Briannaand I were and would _
probably e—mail tbe darn tbin^ to bal-f a million
people
<50
/\nd of dourse, if I -told Chloe and Zoey, -the
FIRST ihint} -they'd want. to do is watdhit-
Whidh would be SUPFRembavv-assin^M
And if Brandon saw it • • • 0M6jf!
He'd realize what a hopeless LOSFR I am ©/
NOTE TO SFLF: Continue to dhedk thevideo_

daily -to monitor bow many ■times it's been viewed-
As if Jîn^s weren-t already a bo-t mess, -today

was -tbe sedond Tirne ibis, week I've seen bu^s insjd
the sdbool building.
5'irls^ lodker room
just while I was gettingdressed after....

5ym dlass.
One flew in my hair, and I ioially

£)f Course, Macênz-je and £Ke CCPs were fraeiically
rolling on ike -floor lau^hin^ ai me-___
Tkank goodness Ckloe and Z-oey were ikere -to keif

me- Tkey are ike besi -friends EVER!
dnaz.y as ikis may sound, BW<£j$ are ike very

reason I'll N£V£R, BVBR fit in at this school-
Alos-tly because I have a
I only attend this fancy prep, school because my dad

arranged a scholarship for me as part of bis BW^
tyjmmmoH comma!_
0M4" IV S0 totally EMBARRASSED about it, I
haven't even to Id Cbloe and Zoe
As a matter of fact, I've been at l/VCD for almost

three months now, and not a single student here
knows my secret
Wellnoone^cept,,•
And she found out purely by accident- ......
One morning I was late for school and the only

way I Could $et there was in my dad's work van-
ire always been a little worried about riding with

him because his van is old, needs a tune-up_ _
and has a lot of things wron^ with it - the most
serious, bein^ tbe 6jlN0RM0U£ roadb sitting on top
ofjdL...:
People stop ri^bt in tbeir -tracks and stare at it

in awe-
Not only is it Kideous-loQkin$, but it makes you feel

really . . . ODD,
A*yy/ay, \wtan Dad dropped meo ■f-fa£ £ke-(-ron-t
door o( -tKe scKool, I was supevKappy and relieved
£ka± no one else was av-ound ko see me-
3u*b -then /VJaeênz-ie just unexpectedly POPPED OUT

o£ nowhere- Like some kind dWlLjatk —in—the—bo*-
&
I/VhenI saw her standing -there, I almost hada heart
attack!
She was like this really big,

had suddenly erufted right on the tip o-f the nose
of ... rny LIFE//
She stared at me with this s

and said, 11 what is that hideous brown thing on top
of your van- , , ?(w
LÂst rolled "7 eYes êv" because, personally, I

thought that was the STUPIDEST question ever.
It was OBVIOUS to anyone with a BRAIN that it was a_

Cockroach,and it was up there on top of our van mainly
to • ,urn . . . do really important ... stuff that was.. .
um, actually NONE of Mackenzie's business!!_ _
But the strange thing was that Mackenziehadn't

mentioned mY dad a3ain until yesterday,_
And she's one of the biggest gossipsinthe entire._

school.....
Ive heard other kids <y*sh -that Mad£enz.ie issoridh,
she was born with a Silver spoon in her mouth-_ _
MOT!! /Vladênz-ies mouthis so b'15, she was born

with a silver £R0\/£L in it/
That (firLCAMMOT be trusted/ ®!l

THMRSIMY, NOV-BMBBR 1
ttB-l—F*!! |t's ohly 1TO island my dayjs already a
TOTAL
* %
Im beînnin^to thinktrans-fevrin^ to anew sdhool

rwi^Kt not be sudb a bad idea after all__ _
l/Vbidb, BTW, would probably make Madênz.ie_
SUPERHAPP/'
I ôt up e*tra early this morning to -finish my
)metry Kom<
| was just dbillin^ out, eating a bi$ bowl o-f delidious

Fvuity Pebbles deveal and daydveamm^ about
BMKVM
• • • wbeh suddenly tbe telephone van$-
I Kadiareally ba d feelingaboutthatcal I,even

be-Pove I answeved it-
Then when j vealbted who it was, | just about bad a

WHAT UAtk-tfeU.-
WHAT HE SAID: tr.. tu. „

Principal Mnston- IV Calling f.or
recently startedhaving aninsect
problem a-t -the school and Jja a
little Concerned-_ _
Ivy WIMT 1 SAID- WspOu* ...

J_you’ve reached Maxwell’s Bu$ Extermination-_
1/VeVe Currently away -from the phone- Please leave a message at the
tone and we'll return your eall- Urn • • • B££££££P/_
Wtt/AT MB SAID- Yes, Principal
Winston Here, -from Westchester
Country Day Middle School, We
need your services -for a serious
insect problem- Could you stop by
my office tomorrow during school
hours? I’ll jive you all the details
when we meet- Thanks!_
PRINCIPAL WINSTON
Still in a daz.e, I hun<} uf the phone, <yrabbed my
ludky pen and -filled out a message sheet -fov- Dad;
FOR: DAT)
dot pi ThursÎMpul > 15
WHILE YOU WERE GUT

PRn]v\: 'Princ-ipql Winston
op. VUCD Middle School
PHOMEi Vw dlrcadu hai/e if
—-Aften code mimei exTewston/
TELEPHONED V PL£AS£-SftLL
CMETD SEE YOU WILL C/ILL flQAIti
RETURNED CALL WANTS TD SEE HOil
X
Mfspccf: Needs you to come to
WCD to
wup +o discuss aq uuq
bug prohien].
Stop bij hk office diftim-
—School hours, Friday, A/m,. Bit-
«i
SIGNED:
That s when the extreme AWfULN£££ o-f the

situation FINALLY startedto sinkinand.
l totally lost it!

10
My prindipal wanis my VAV io dome io my
■to -take dare of ike PROBLEM?!! .
My s-tomadk ôi really idky like i kad jus-t eafen a-t

Queasy Ckeesy or someikin^._
And I -tkou^ki I was 301*9 -to faint
However, raiker ikan waiting -to DIE o-f

embarrassment at sdkool, i dedided -to -take -tke
initiative and end it all ri^kt ike* 0/
By DROWNING? myself 0j
Inmy delidious bowl of Fruity Pebbles_©?ji
i know *rt sounds like an INSANE idea- Bui Ed

a I ready tried it on Miss Pene I ope, my sister's
71
ME,DESPERATELY' TRYING TO DROWN MV.
_SORROWS IK MV' BOWL of cereal!_
jQAR&M
tfowever, in spi-te o-f my e-f-forts, | ended up £TlLL

very mu.dK ALIVE- _ _
I -felt so -frustrated witK my situation,I wanted to

SCREAMf Aâii^_
7Z
Mostly because I bad loads o-f soggy Fruity Pebble
thingies studk up my nose-_
0M6f! I must have sneez-ed Fruity Pebbles -for, like,

ten minutes_straight-
They were p I a s ter c d a 11 over thewa! I san d ceilin g

like rainbow-eoloured boogers or something.
I dan't believe Principal Mnston is expecting my

dad to show up at bis o-f-fide tomorrow -for a bug
extermination appointment^!
Ill TRANSFER SCHOOLS before I let my dad

HUMILIATE me by DAMCfMdj around in bis red_
jumpsuit (which, BTW} has M/last name plastered
across the back), Z-APPIN^ BW£j$ in -front o£ tbe
ENTIRE student body M_
Everyone will think he -forgot to take his meds or

something-____________-....
|ve officially designated my school as a ,_

NO WA'/ AM I TELLIN4 HIM ABOUT THAT
PHONE M£S£A$E»
It just AIN'T )onna hiff enH
n
$-Ctev Pad misses -tba-t appoin-tmen-t, bope-Pully
Prindipal l/'/ins£on will jus-t hive someone else /to -take
dare o£ tbe sdbool's bu^s.
I already M\/£ tbesdbplarsbip,
So wbat is Winston <y?in^ "to do? Suddenly just kidk

me ou£?f In -tbe middle ot tbe semester?/ NOT//
l tbink I’m <ôin^ -to wear rny ludky sodks •tomorrow.
Hey, |m ônna need all -tbe help I dan êt.
©//-----
-- 9~m
75
FRIDAY', NOVEMBER 8
All eby I've bee* a NERVOUS WRBCK1_
I felt SwperjMlty about not îyin^ my dadkkak

kelepkone message-
Buk move kkan anykkin^, | was
I doftikave anything a$amskKim personally. ties a liktle

weird, yes. Buk so ave MOST prindipals and keadkers.
I mean, wko would*/£ be TOTALLY INSANE aPker

ken ov -fi-P-tee^ years ak a middle sdkool?//
Jus£ kanîn^ around kkis .place as a STUDENT -for

a douple o-f years dan be psydkoloîdally damaîn^ ©!
Anyway, I was afraid l/Vinskon was ôin^ komenkion_

something kome abouk my dad's appoinkmenk to
e^kermmake bu^s -for kke sdkool-_
H>
Thai s when | decided ii was supevimporiani £ov me
io wear a very devev aK>d dunning disguise so Mnsion
wouldn i vedo^njz-e me-
Bui, un foti unaiely, I didni have mudh io work wiih-

Jusi my noi—(rom-ihe-malI hoodie (wiih [mi balls on ii),
a liitle ima^'maiion and a loi o£ despev-aiiom .
77
Ko"t only was brillian-tly simple, bub domforbable
and FREE! .
Ludkily,my disguise worked jmsi as |'d planned ©!
When Prindipal l/Vinsbon saw afber Frendb dlass,

be douldnbbellI was adbually _ME! _And be di dnb
mentionmy dad or needing an e*bern\inabor, THAM^
<5G0DM£££©[
He jusb looked a littLe freaked out_Probably

bedause I was staring ab Kim ^ Î
to test wy disguise- \A V
did tke strangest tkinfr
He dleared kis tkroat really loudly and told me to

skip my next dlass and 30 STR/AI^HT to tke office,
to 3et a -four-kour pass to visit
dounsellor/
$t -first I tkou^kt ke was making a little joke or

sometkin^._______...
But tken I realized ke ACTUALLY believed I was a

seriously mentally ill WBIRDO^J
Nov/, kov/ CRA'Zy is THAT?/
However, tke 3ood nev/s was tkat I was êttin*} out

o-f -four kours o-f dlass/ SftUEEEEEEE ©//_
O-f dourse. I -fixed my koodie BEFORE I went to tke

ûidande dounsellors o-f-fide- I didn t want HER to
mistake me -for a seriously mentally ill weirdo too-
I/Ve talked about bow my dlasses were doming alon$_.

and reviewed my new dlass sdkedule -for next semester-
Then, after sbe wadie me watdb -this superborin^
video series about career planning__
Tbe four bouvs wer»-t by pretty <\uidkly, and before I

knew it, sbe banded me a pass to 50 badk to dlass-_
tbe ex-ditin^ news about Prindipal Winston sending me

to tbe ûidande dounsellot__
But tbe sdbool day was pretty mudb over, and it was
time to 30 home- £&UEEE££££M!
Tbe very best part was that Principal Winston_

DIDN'T mention my dad! And my dad DIDN'T show
up for that appointment!
Wly -flawless strateîd planning, alon$ with my very

dlever disguise, saved tbe day!
Am | MOT brilliant?!!
(p • • .
SATURDAY*HOVBMBBR3
Today my mom came up with-the stupid idea thatwe

need to Have 'Family Sharing Time”_
preplanned quality time together as a family would

endouv-aê love, mutual respect and bonding”
I patiently explained to HER tHat sHe sHould STOP

watching Dr Phil
Since we were stuck doint} “Family Sharing Time”_

I suggested we tvy one of tHose too I T)(TRBMB
SPORTS they sHow on MTV-
You know, tHe kind where you get to wear a Helmet

with Cute designs on it, like Hearts or rainbows.
So you II look really Cute when you break a leg. or_

fracture your skull___
f think it would be fun, e*Citing and educational if

our family went BUNGEE JUMPING ioytKer ©'
mV FVMIL'/ 40££ buu&b jumping._
0kay, so maybe a family bungee—jumping trip is NOT
sudk a ôodidea.^
As expedted, my parents domplained that e>d:reme„

sports were way too dangerous.
But that was a lame exduse, bedause "Family Sharing

Time1* dan be ten times move DEADLY than all tbe
extreme sports dombined!
My parents excitedly announced at break-fast that

we were 50'm^ danoem^-..........
I almost dboked on my wattle!
(It didn'tHave anything to do witb tbe fact that

we were 301 n$ canoein<y I just eat really tast and
tend to almost dboke on my tood on a regular
basis.)
Anyway, my dad bad purdbased an old, beaten-up

danoe at a 3ara$e sale for §\,00._
Ql
He had his heart set on trying it out. before winter
sets in and all the lakes freez-e over- _
I was like, "Three dollars?/ Pad, ave you
KA-RAY-Z-tt?!! V0{A spe*d more than that on

yourE99MiMuU in mealjw__
But I just said that inside my head, SO no one else

heard it but me,
What IDIOT would risk taking his/her -family out

in deep water in a
cost floor!!
Okay, let me rephrase the question - . ._
What idiot - - • OTHER than my DAD?! i love

him and all, but sometimes | RBALL-Y worry about
that 9uy!
Even a tiny, cheap, plastic pink canoe for Brianna’s

doll costs MORE than flOO!
IV just saying-
The really scary part was that Dad knew nothing
whatsoever about canoes-_ ___
And since his was -from a $ara$e sale, it didn t

Come with a manual, instruction book, warranty, or
.
When I mentioned my dohdeirhs, Pad jusb volled
Kis eyes ab me and said, "ttey! j donb need -to
be a \rodke-t: dotior bo lodabebbeON/OFF swi^dL”
Anyway, Mor» made sandmdhes, Pad padked bbe dar

and we beaded oub -to ibis buê bay area bbab s
really foliar wibb boabets,
As | e*pedbed, bbe event <\uidkly -turned into a major

PIS ASTER.
Mainly because Pad didnb -figure oub bbab a canoe

retired paddles until AFTER we 50boub on-bo bbe
wabev.....
Aftd_bken be $ob an abtibudeaboub bbe whole bbin$

bedause tt|£ danoe didn b dome wibb any paddles OR
an 0M/OFF sMiidb (putt./).
I/Vbidb was probably WttV ib only dosb §Z.OO.
Bub I didn't bobber bo remind Pad o-P all bbab

sbu-Pb, bedause be was kind oi- in a really bad mood-
So -there we were, just. ..-floating around out on
the bay -for what seemed like FORfcVfcR!
Thank goodness it was an unseasonably warm

day or we dould have $ot hypothermia or
something
Suddenly DadV-fade lit up, and I knew he was

êttin^ another of his l/VAC^Y ideas._-
He 3rabbed this larê stidk that was floating in _

the water. Then he took o-f-f his shirt, tied it to
the stidk and let it •flutter in the wind-
| guessed that he was trying to Convert our

paddle-less danoe into 3 sailboat or something
But, like most of his ideas, it didn't <\uite work the
way he e*pedted-...._...-.-.-.-.
Whenever the wind blew, the danoe would just

spin around in dirdles really -fast, like some kind o-f
demonid amusement park ride- _ _ —
Ofbourse wewereall a bit grumpy about our_
situation-.
But tbanks to Pad, now we were djRWMPY> DlZ-ZV
And Mom was starting to $eton my LAST nerve!_
Bein^ tbe eternal optimist, sbe tried to dbeer us up

by making us sin$ "Row, Row, Row Your Boat"l
That's when I suddenly lost it and streamed, "Mom,

has your reality dbedk bounded?! Can t you see we
don't have any PADDLES? How are we supposed to
ROW, ROW, ROW tbe boat?!". _____ _
But I just said that inside my bead, so no one else

beard it but me-
And Brianna would NOT shut up! I bad to restrain

myself from trying to strangle ber. ____
Sbe was whining NONSTOP about tbe STUPIDEST

things....,......_
Okay, I love r*y -family and every-tkin^ Bu-t sometimes
I -Blink tkeyVe, Um • •.v .
A FEW CLOWNS SHORT OF A CIRCUS"

Ludkily for us, someone spotted Pad s homemade sail
and assumed be was si^nalin^ for help,_
Even though our w EamiLy ârin^ Time” adtMtyufejL

off -to a really bad start, I KaveJto admit if ended
upbein3 as exditin^ as any extreme sport, _
WR^? êttw>5 rescued by that Coast ûard

Kelidofter was thrilling._
Ar'd bein^ transported badk to our dar in

that sleek, superfast polide speedboat was a
total RUSH?
When we finally $ot borne, I was surprised to bear

a pbone message from Cbloe and Zoey^__
uttey, Nikki, what sup? It s Cbloe and Zoey here/

Were dallin^ to see if youVe 30'm^ to be available
today or tomorrow to work on our adt for tbe
talent show. If so, <yve us a dalLWe dant wait to
êt started!"
I was like, Just $reat 0! I really
10
the talent show with them, but /V|ac&njE.ie was ôma
to make my life totally miserable if I did-
Sooner or later I was ôin^Jho Have -to -tell my BFFs

I wouldnt be perform'm^ with them._
But I was so exhausted from our canoe trip, I just

wanted to take a bot shower and Crawl into my
Comfy bed-
I decided to tell tbem .LATFK!
I wonder if Pad bas figured out yet that canoes_

DON'T have ON/OFF switches. . . ?__
SUNM^HOVSMBBRiO
Mom and ! are $ettin$ ready "to 50 shopping to buy

me some new ...clothes,| can bardly believeJi!_
I $uess I owe Brianna a bi$ tbankyou s\nCe sbe's

pretty much the person responsible for it-_
It all started wben Mom yve Br'u

set and easel Sbe said it would Kelp Brianna develop
Her artistic abilities.!:
So Brianna started painting and Moms been

plastering ber artwork all over tbe bouse,_
Tbe tbin$ that really freaked me out, tbou^b, was

this lar$e portrait sbe drew of ME
I couldn't believe Mom actually taped it up on our

refrigerator like that- _ ______
Wbat if a total stran3erûst randomly wandered

into our bouse and saw Brianna's drawing up
tbere?f..
n
Hey, ii dould happen//
Bui mosily ibai pov-iv-aii y/as.very damaîr^ io my

sel-f-esieem,
I vealiz-e |mnoisuperduielike ibe$iv-U m ike CCP

dli«\ue ai my sdbool- Bui PWH-LEE7Ê/ Poes my
-fade really look like ii $oi v-uk over by a bus?/
And as i-(- all -tKa't wasn-t tad enough, Bv-ianna
is a very messy ar-tis-L She spla-ttev-s pain-t
ElÊRVtottEREl
I almost died whenshe aîually 30-t pain-t on my

favoi*vi*te shiv-t-
OM^lJ-had a hissy -fi-t ri^hi "there on -the spo-L
n
0kay, I'll admit it That spot of paint on my skirt
W/AS kind of Small
But the last time I watdhed Jud$e Judy on

television, she spedifidally stated, "Parents are
responsible for the damage their dhild does to the
property of other people- And that's the LAW, you
IDIOTII" Or something like that-
Everyone knows Judê Judy is a very fair and

impartial jud$e- She's also super^rumpy and possibly a
little senile*
Of bourse, my mom took BriannaV side like she

always does. She said, "Nikki, I'm sure it was an
addident. I'll replade anything she $ets paint on-
Okay?" ...
[ just looked at my mom and rol Ied my eyes._.
"Yeah, ri$ht/ $nd what if Brianna êts paint on

ALL my dlothes? Then you're ôin^ to buy me a
wholenew wardrobe?/" But I just said that inside
my head, so no one else heard it but me-____
Suddenly I had -the most bviiliant idea- That’s v/hen
I decided -to insfive Bvianna's dveativeness by -finding
stu-ff -fov- hev io faint-
I 3ave hev- my shivt to $et stavted on- Then I van

ufstaivs to my voom and tossed m ost o\ rr\\
into a bi$ laundvy basket
It -felt really ôod helping my little sister develop
her artistic skills.
Mom was really shocked when she discovered that .

Brianna had painted almost all my clothes,_
Of Course, I didn't tell her the part about it all

bein^ MV idea ©J_
Mom tried her best to weasel out of her promise to

replace the clothes that Brianna got paint on. But.
I reminded her that as an impressionable ysung child,
I was learning the importance of honesty, integrity_
and keeping ones word from the example bein$ set
by my parents,______ _____
Which is the drive! I ve picked up from all those TV

talk shows.
Anyway, Mom felt £0 guilty, she finally agreed to

honour her promise-
Now I êt to ... .-
V
SffU£££ ££££©//
BBU -finally returned tbe dall -to both Cbloe
and Zoey,
I let the m know that even tbov^b we weren 't able

■to (ydt together-to fradtise over -tbe weekend, we
dould Meet to disduss our flans tomorrow in tbe_
library.....
Wbidb means 1 have to make a -final dedision_

tomorrow!!
Wbat am ( 30^3 to do???!!!
I'mso CONFUStbl 1 -feel like my bramis 30*3 to

BXPLODBH
mKVAV, NOVEMBER II
Every day during study Kali, Ckloe, Z-oey and I are

excused to go work as library shelving assistants, or
USAs. We LOVE our joiof...._._
ME,CHLOE & ZOEY" WORKING REALLY

HARD PUTTING AWAY LIBRARY' BOOKS
..(WELL, SORT OF ..)
A-fter we finally got all the books reshelved, Zoey
suggested that we decide what we were 30'mg to do
-for our -talent show act-
That/swhen ChJ.eesuddenly started doing what

looked like tbe i-unky chicken-_
Which meant she had just had a RBALU/ $RBAT

idea -for the talent show.
IOO
"QM$! 0M6j! I just $ot the most EABliL&US_
idea/ We dan do a wicked dool dance routine about_
books. Well ddll ouêlves -tke RRM&rJMM£lM£
BOOMORMS!” Chloe pushed._
“LU2VEJTI I LOVE IP" Zoey squealed. "We

dan make -fuz.zy lime <yreen dostumes that look like_
caterpillars. And v/e dan rap too^ What do you think,
Nikki?"
I was like* 'Actually, Chloe and Zoey, it sounds

like a really -fun idea, Buiis this supposed to be a
TALENT show or a fRSAX show?/"_
Bui I just said that inside my head, so no one else

heard it hut me-
Chloe and Zoey are the BEST -friends EVER! But

theyVe also the second- and third—biggest dorks in
the entire sdhooL
So sometimes their ideas are a little • • • how should

I say it . . . DOR^Y too-
101
But tbeir oddasionally weird antids are the reason
they are SO rnudb -Pun -to ban^ out witk_
I -took a deef breathand -tried w»y test to break it

to them gently,___
“^d-Ually,I think it’s a really duie idea But I have a
101
bi't oT kadi newsÂs mutk as | was looking
-forward -to it, I've decided not to participate
in tke talent skow tfeis year- I'm trying to - - ■
urn, spend more time on, urn . . ■ stkoolwork and
stu-fr
Jti_not ôin^ to be -fun unless all tkree

o-f us do tkis toêtker/" Ckloe groaned as ker smile
<\uitkly -faded,_.
Zoey looked disappointed too- "Welt i-f YOU'RE- not

$oin<} to be in tke talent skow, tken I dor!t want to
be m iV"
"Me neitker^ Ckloe said grimly._
"Come on, ûys/ You tan be break-dan£i»3 bookworms

TOGETHER. It'll STILL beiJ” I said, trying to
sound upbeat_
But | touldn t êt tkem totkanê tkeir minds-
Tke tkree o-f us just sat tkere not saying anything

-for wkat seemed like EOREVER•_
To m ake matters worse, I
about letting them down-
Finally Z-oey broke -tKe silende- "Nikki, are

at us or something?”
"WHAT are you talking about? Cf dourse not!”

I answered- "|f anything, you two should be m ad
at me/”
"Vouve been kind of <\uiet lately- |s anything

wron$?” Cbloe asked, staring at me intently-
For a split sedond I thought about just pouring my

heart out to them both-_ _
About A'lad&nz.ie, Queasy Cheesy, the talent show,

my dad, my sdholarship -
But instead, I shook my head vigorously and tried to

muster a bi^ smile
"No! Nokbin<}s wron^l | jusk feel kerrib Ie kkak
you $uys have decided nok -to be in kbe kalenk
show. | know you were really looking -forward
ioJ±"
Cbloe shrugged and looked ouk -tKe window._
Zoey bik ber lip and s-baved ak kbe -floor._
I reminded mysel-f I was doing all ibis -for kbeir

own good Tbe las-b kbing I wanked was -for
THEM io be a £asualky in Mac.Keinz.ies war
againsk ME.
Finally kbe bell rang, ending kbe stbool day-
Cbloe and Zoey looked sad and -fluskered- I kbink

kbey knew | was biding sorwekbing.
And I -felk jusk • • •AW.BLU________
Lsigbed and kried ko apologiz-e^ “LiskenJ-m_

R £ALLY> KB ALLY sorry, okay?"'
lot
As Ckloe and Zoey 50k up -to leave, they botk sadly
muttered ike exacl same thin3 at tbe e*adt sar*e
time-______-__-.—..-_____
WHATEVER-
/ — \
lot
TU££VAY> movbmbbr 11
I tbink |ve -finally figured out tbe souv-de o-f tbe bu$
problem at our sdbool/
|m no expert (unlike my dadl)j buiji was kind o$

strange to see so many different bu^s just randomly
drawling around like that-
Bui here’s the Crazy pSri!
I addidentally le-fi my Frendh homework in my
lodker and my teadher lei me leave dlass to 30 êi

it- While I was at my lodker, the balls were empiy
and totally «\uie-i
I dould have swovn I heard CRICKETS CFIRPIN#
y^nd the sound was doming -from
I was like, What the-— l!
I stood on my tippy toes and tried to peek tbv-ou^b
lOl
-the sloi -thirty ai ike iop o-f AlatKenz-ies lodker.
I ikou^ki ! saw ike silver lid o-f ajar or someikin^

but ker bi$ leaiker ba$ was in ike way,-
Tkai's wken I $oi ike brilliani idea io siidk my

ruler ikrou^k ike sloi ikin^y io move siu-P-f around
and $ei a beiter look inside-_ _
a -few -bries | was able to push Mackenzie*_
ba$ out o-f tbe way,_
/And sure enough, ri^ht behind it was, a ^lassâr^But

I douldn t «\uite see i-f anythin*} was inside it-_
Usm^ tbe ruler, I tried to sdoot tbe_jar towavds

tbe -front so | dould $et a dloser look_
But I somehow addidentally knodkedji over, and it

bit tbe lodker door with a KLUNKand rolled on_
top o-f tbe ba$,_
Tbats when I notided that tbe lid rwust hot have_

been on very ti$ht or something bedause it -flipped
ri^bt o-P-f-
I was like, QQPSlfc! Time to êt badk to dlass/
But tbe longer I stood there thinking about it, tbe
5°^
Mainly bedause it looked to me like Madkenz.ie bad

been sedretly planting buy. .all over the sdbool,_
\0°[
ôin^ "to dal I my dad to
And when it did, I was <y?in$ to have a Complete
MtLTVOm
my school-
I mean, what if he saw

classes?!!
He mj^Kt say something SUPERembarrassin^ to W»e

like, wHi_there, Nikki- • • jM_
Then, 0M6fH I'd just keel over and ■ . ■ D|£|||
And from that day forward, Pd be known as the

daughter of tkat Crazy disCo-danCin^ exterminator-
&dswould whisper stuff about me behind my back

and cal! me a FR£Atf
And not just a regular FREAK, but a kalf-BU^,

kalf-D0RK FREAK! Which is, like, ten times WORSfc-W
no
.MB. THE MLF-BUdj, MUr-VORK BRBA#
/My life would be TOTALLY RUI^BDJ!

And it would all be /i/lAd^FH^-IF'^
FAULTm
Unlike tkattalent skow -fiasdo tkat invoLved
BEFs,tkisprobI e was just between ME and_
MACKENZIE- Wkidk meant I dould deal witkHER
on f*sj OWH terms,
1 mardked strai^kt down to PrindipalJV'instons o-Efide to

kave a nide little dkat witk kirn about tkis bu$ issue-
Only, I didn t RAT out Madlênz-ie! YES, | know! I

probably SHOULD kave-
But I already knew -from e*periende ske was just

3oin$ to bat ker eyelashes all innodent-like and LIE
THROUGH HER TEETH!__
And Winston would totally believe ker (and not me)

bedause all adults tkinLMadk(enz.ie is a per-fedt_
little anêl and INCAPABLE o-f lyin<y
Besides, I was $oin§ to talk to Mnston about

something WAV more important tkan MadKenz-ie’s
juvenile iittle pranks,__
Our meeting went just as I bad planned- __
111
He -told me he was happy I'd s-topped by Jus_
o-f-fide and asked how -things weê going as a
new studen-t
I -took a deep breath and got right to the point.
“Adt.ua lift Prindipal l/Yinston, I'm doing -fine
Considering the tadt that IV stuck with a

lodker right next to MaC&nz.ie Hollister,_ _
and I'm totally lost in geometry^ But I stopped
by to let you know that since my dad is
superbusy right now, you should just dal I in
another exterminater. I'm really sure he_
appreciates your business and all, but there's
only so mudh work he dan handled_
Prindipal IA/±nston blinked JTJhenuhe took off his

glasses, -Folded his arms diCxosshis chest and siowly_
nodded-
"|s that so? I was wondering why your dad missed

our appointment on Friday-I thought, maybe he _.__
didn't get the message I le-ft on your answering
machine. Well, its guite a doinCidende that you
IB
dropped by, Miss Maxwell, bedause l was planning io
îve Kim anoiher dall ibis afiernoon-''...._
uWell, if you wani some advide, don'i boiherf

He's so busy Ke hasn'i even ...... • slepi in like, urn
ihreeor foe days, Plus, it would be healihier for
bis ... . you know . . , sidk gallbladder and siuff,
if you jusi <ôi someone else " _
Prindipal l/Vinsion sai ihere s-tarin^ ai me wiih

ibis really perplexed look on bis fadeTThen I saw_
him $lande at ibe ielephone on bis desk_
Thais when I sioodup, p l a s ier e d afoke smile on my

fade and shook bis band real friendlylike- _
"Well, Prindipal Winsion, I don'i wani to iake up any

MOte. of your -time- I know you're a busy man, Plus,_
I jusi beard ibebell for lundh and I LOVB all ibe
dreaiive -things your dooks do wiib mysiery meai. I'm
really, really $lad we bad ibis liitle dhai''
Thank you, Miss Maxwell- |V ^lad we did ioo,"be

said, and dleared bis ihroai,__
ll*r
Then jôh hhe hefck ouhta hhere^
A? I headed down "the hall 'howavdis -the da-feheria,

I -Pel-t like a huê burden bad been li-fhed o-f-f my
shoulders,
Mnshon was ôin^ ho use another exherminahor

and my sedreh would be sa-fe aâin-
Problem solved!
As I 50-t ho -the door o-fhhe da-feheria. a doz-en

CCP îrls rushed fash me sdreamin^.
Inside^ ih was hohaI
I immediahely sf ohted Wlad&nz-ie shandin^ on hof

oh a lundh -table shrieking byshev-idally and poinhin^
ah somehbin^ lyin^ on hhe -floor in -fronh o-f hhe
salad bar.....
115
My $ut reaction was: Mouse?/ Snakg?j
But seeing as it was Mac&nz.ie,it also Could kave

been sometkin^ as mundanely Koidcifym^ as a fait o-f
red folyester trousersU Kave to admit, J wasn't all
tKat surf vised to see . . .
IU>
MACkfflZies B16 LBATHER V>A£,II __
TKat s wken | -finally dame {.o tKe dondlusion -tka-t my

earlierkundkwasdorredi,
Lûess ikerg v-eally W£R£ dridkeis in -tkal jar/ §}//
1/7
WEDNESDAY NOVBMBBR £
The onlyibin$ everyoneJs talking about these days

is that stupid talent show-
And it s \really startup to $et on my nerves/_
People ate practising before school, after school and

even during lunch-
I'll be SO happy when all this is over!
I’dbeen waiting for Mackenzie to ask Chloe and

Zoey to join her dance sûad, so | wasn't surprised
when she approached them about it after ^ym class
today.-
However, I was shocked when Chloe and Zoey turned

her down^
They actually told her they didn't want to be_An

the talent show unless I was in it too- I Couldn't
believe my BFFs had basically told Mackenzie to
take her little danCe $roup and flush it ©a_
Madênz.ie just stared at themwithher mouth
han^Lnc^ open because she suddenly realiz-ed Kev plan
to keep me out oftke talent showKad badkfired.
She must Kave seen tKe smirk on my -fate because

she âve w>e tKis really .dirty look, and I was like,_
“WIMT?R and batted my eyes all innodentlike-
I dould MOT believe tKe distrusting low-down, dirty

tKin^ Aladênz-ie did ne*t-._............
“flkay, Chloe and Z-oey- HI be Konest withyou-..

Jason and Ryan Kave been me to ask you
to join- TKeyVe VYlM$ to be youv dande partners.
I promised I wouldn’t tell) but those $uys Kave
really bi$ dvusKes on you two/” sKe pushed, and then
winked-._....._..
There was no doubt in my mind that Mad&nz.ie was

|yin$ like a ru$. She was only pretending to be Miss
MatdKmaker to tridkCKloe and Zoey into joining-
But they believed every word she said and totally lost
it They started jumping up and down and sûealin^/
m
I didn't kave tke keart totell £kemMadJ*enzje was
a fa-tkoloîdal liar and Jason and Ryan were probably
in on ker little sdkeme-
I skot Mad&nzjea dirty look, and tkis lame SHE baited

ker eyes at ME all innodent-like and said, "MiAT?!”
I was so mad I doutld SPIT! 1wanted to slap tkat îrl

into tomorrow lor flaying witk my -friends* emotions
like tkat-
Tkose two ^ys kad taken dkeerleaders to tke

Halloween dande two weeks 330 and pradtidally broken
Ckloes and Zoeys kearts.___
And MOW ikey were all 30^3 to be dande partners?//

I douldnt believe Mackenzie was sudk a little
MANIPULATIVE^, beady-eyed ., , SNAKE/!
l/Vkat REALLY worried me, tkov^k, was tke fact tkat

neitker Ckloe nor Zoey kad lully redovered -from tkeir
totally debilitatu^ dase o-f .__
IZO
DR Nim SHARES SOME $OOI> NEWS'
DR MM SHARES SOME N0T-S0-300DNEWS'
I2J
/Had&nz.ie was recklessly
io yet ano-tKev da^êv-ous ease o-f CRUSH-ITIS,
»»evely for sel-Cisbâin- TKai §itlis MEARTLE££(
I probably wont be seeing mudb o£ my BFFs over_

“the ne*t twoweeks bedausethey111 be banîn^ out
with Mad&nz-ie and tbe CCPs.
But itsnot like Im jealous or anything,_
I mean, bow juvenile would THAT be?!
<2)11
m
THURSDAY', NOVEMBER 1+
I Kad no idea "things were 301*3 "to -turn ou"t

like -bbis.
1/VlMT am | 301*3 "to do *ow?f
Wbicb is ike reason I asked r*y êomeivy ieacber,

Mrs Sprague, i-fI Could be excused -to 50 -to ibe
ba-tbroom.
IZ3
ME,IN THE BATHROOM FEELING i/ER/
WR RIBD&SICKV
Okay, tkis is v/hat happened-..
When I $ot konst Ivor* school yesterday, I stopped

to êt the mail.....
I saw an envelope from WCV that was addressed
to both me and my parents and -figured it was my
report dard or something
However, when I opened it. I bad a heart attadk

ri$ht there on tbe spot bedause it was a TUITION
BILL ©II
How did I know?
Mainly bedause it said in really b»5 letters-
KIWI /MXWfcL-L
/And below that was a dollar amount so bify I

almost thought my eyeballs were 301 n^ to rupture
just looking at it- .......
I dould try to pay it off with my teeny allowande-

But that would take 1,92^1 years ©/
MB, TR/IM4 TO READ MV TUITION BILL WITH
almost ruptured eyeballs/
At -first | thou$ht_it was some kind o-fmistake!!
Bui ike only logical explanation is that I had messed

up1% time by NOT îvin^ my dad that phone
message -from Principal Winston-_
Then I had very STUPIDLY^ $one to Winstons office

and 'bold bim dad was £00 busy -to dome in. And
now my sdbolavsbip bas been v-evokedf!
WHAT was I Thinking?!/! Tberes just no way my

parents danafford -to pay -that tuition bill/
Suddenly it bedame very dleav that Mad&nz-ie bad

dompletely set me up,^
Her master plan WASN'T to embarrass me by having

my dad dome to tbe sdbool to exterminate all tbe
bu^s sbe was letting loose-
NWH-UH// Her little bvain was way more DEVIOUS

than -tba-t/
Her plan was for my dad MOT to dome to tbe sdbool

to exterminateall tbe bu^s sbe was letting loose-..
So I'd lose my SCHOLARSHIP and 6jETX\CX£D

OUT OF SCHOOL! ___ _ _
Sbe knew I’d be FKAMTIC and do everything witbin

my power to keep bim away,
in
OWHLIFEm
Mad&Rz.ie Hollister is a»_
£\/|L GENIUS/
I had ro sdholarshif a^d I had ro moRey to fay the
tuitiork
My situation was HOPELESS'
Ailsat there on that dold bathroom floor a thidk

filoud of anguish.seemed to desdend uf or my stall like
sonr»e kind of futrid smo^ making it nearly imfossible
for me to breathe ortbifik dleav-ly._
Overcome by gut-wreRdbiRg emotion(and overwhelmed

by that awful school bathroom smell), I beân to
foRder the unthinkable-_
I waited all my problems to 30 away-_
So I decided to just end it all tight there, by . . .
lie
FLUmm MySELF VOWH im JOUST Ml
But un-fovtunaiely, I was WAY too bi$ -to -fit down

that little dvain-bole thinly.
Tbats when I noticed a bright yellow talent show

poster tafedi on tbe stall door......._...
IV\
fd seen then* plastered avoundi the sdhool tor days.
Butatter aII dLKe drama with Mad&nz-ie, I bad.
never botkered-to actually read one- -
....
\ 1 W
/V3 dh LU
rj?
^
J
w
•& -A.
L7'-> >
r
DO you SIN4 DANCE, or have
dg/ SOME OTHER ENTERTAINING
$
£ TALENT THAT YOU'D LIKE TO ft
Au All Ini' f 11/lTll
SHflRfc VvlTH THfc WORLD?
-T“l 1 .u/AfVl t\9. s
d
IF SO, THEN COME PERFORM IN OUR 10 ANNUAL
>
u IVCD TALENT SHOlVCASE
Saturday, November 3.0, 7 30 p.m X
0
jV
AO
To-be jutlêcLbyTTR&l/OR
I/Vovld-Famous Musid Produder and WCV alumnus
*
0QI7CC
d
taia'C* Ikiri IVf)C:
irvut-Wt/P
Televised Audition on /? Ml/YUTBS OF FAMfc
Sdbolarsbips to U/CD
<* Laptop Computer
F
0
& # iPads
(and mudb more)
- - _
☆
PARTICIPATION FORM MUST BE COMPLETED
& AND TURNED IN BY FRIDAY, NOVEMBER XL d -
(NondowplianCe with rules will result in disûalifieatioiv.)
See o-ffide -for details.
- 5 #&— -jr^ £c/ -
110
LKad -bo read -bbaib-pos-ber, like, -three -times before
i-t finally sdnkjlL
WCD was actually 3^1*3 away
I know I swore off -the -baleivb show earlier, bu-t now

ihir^s have dhaêi
I'm despera-be-
How despera-be am I?/
really. really really really really

really. really really, really, really.
really really really, really. RMllY
REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, really, really'
mVAY, KOl/g/HBER I?
Just whenI thought my life COUL-VN’T $et any

WORSE, IT DID!!_
I skipped luneh -today .because I wanted -to -talk -to

Brandon..
I really felt theneed -to vent -to someone abou-t all

the stuff that was (join^ wron<} in my life vi^b-t now,
like for example . . .
Coh-Pidirv^ in Cbloe and Zôey was no-t an option_

since -they were busy rehearsing with Jason and Ryan
during lunch.
I still.Considered Brandon a $ood friend even though

hes been so busy thatweve barely spoken to each
other since the dance two weeks aô-
It always seemed like talking to him helped me think

things through more logically. _
But -most important, I wanted to tell Aim about_
my dad, my revoked sdholarship and that I m'^ht be
leaving WCV very soon._
Lm just 'really tired of pretend'^ everything is ■fine

whenit isn't/_________
jAnd I know at some point Madlênz.ie is.301 n^ -to blab

all my business -to the entire sdhool anyway.
ttey, world/ Aly dad is a bu3 exterminator and 1

attend IVCP on a sdholarship!
B'13 deal/ Its IVHO I veally amf
iVli/ should I be ashamed of it?!
Even if MadKenzie has a problem with it I don't have -to.
Anyway, | rushed down to the newspaper, offide, sinde
t'rainin3 some new photo3rapher..
iVelt it looks like he's been pretty busy, all rfoht. . .

Kve alv/ays wondered if. Brandon really likes me or
not* Well, now I know-_____
WB DOESN'T/// • • • - -—. ——-.—.
I -think he's jusi been usm^ me all alon<) io make

Madênz-ie jealous or some-tkin^-_
I Couldn't stand to watck ker ûsbin^ all overKim
like a lovesick puppy._
“^^Bjraaaandon/'' tKis and U0K, Braaaaandonl'' tKat.
0M$! SKe sounded so DITZ-Y> I tkou^kt kev brains

were 501 n$ {,0 ooz-e out o-P Kev eavs like syrup and
make a puddle vic^kt on ike -floor,_
£Ke s more CRA'ZY about Kim tkan BVBRf
And sinCe WHEN Kas Mackenzie been into

pKoto^rapky?/!
probably sinCe la n din3 BR ANP 0 Nas Kev NEW

TUTORI
And êi tKis/ SKe doesn't even READ our scKool

newspaper because sKe says it doesn't Kave a
EasKion Style section, And tKe EasKion & Style
section is tKe ONLY tKin^ ske says is wortK
reading in AN/ newspaper,
I ke 5'ivJ js DESPERATE!!
135
Anyway) I just turned around and walked ri^kt out
of tkeroom before tkey even saw me,
If Brandon wants MatKenz-ie, ke dan kave kerflf

Saturday', November u>
My life is so MESSED UP<
All day I’ve been feeling SUPERdepv-essed and juil-ty.
I -finally roadie *tV»e dedisioh -to dome dlean to my

parents and tell tKem _
So wkat i-f I $ei grounded until my twenty—first

birthday?
1 was like; “Um, Mom and Dad, dan I talk to you

9uys? It s veaI ly_ imfov-tantf"
Mom was like, “Sure, Koney. But da^ it wait a little

bit?its sudK a beautiful, dlear ni^ht outside that
your dad and I dedided weld all Kaye a little Family
Sharing Time."
I was like, OH. CRUVH It was v-eally BAD timing -for

uFamily Shaving Time"©if
Tken Dad just about knodked me over rusKin^ out
B7
the back door with a bi$ da* of lighter fluid and a
bo* of matches--_ _ __ —- -
|s it me, or do most -fathers seem to have latent_

pyromaniac tendencies?
They $et v-eally happy and excited whenever, tbeyi_

<yril| -food, li$ht the fireplace, make a campfire, bum
leaves, or do anything that involves fire- —_
vav, mtn someone else is in cm^B OF

__
m
PAP, WHEN HB IS M Cm$t OF
_LWimiMEIRE_
Well, iohi^vt Pad decided -to build a damp-fire in

■tbe badkyard so we dould roas-fc. marshmallows. And
Mom brou^h-t ou-fc, a b'13 flaie ok dbodolaie bars..
and a box. o-f dvadkevs so we dould make yummy
SCORES,
I Kaye £0 admii, l was ad-tually looking -forward

to snarfin3 down that hot, $ooey, dhodolaty
treat-
Sounds like a -fun, -family—friendly activity. Ri^kt?!

It was,
Until Dad ôt a little tarried away and burned bis_

marshmallows to a drisp.
When they taught on -fire, be totally panidked-
It looked like he v/as bolding one of those flaming

shish kebab thin3ies you see in fandy restaurants,_
He was frantidally whipping the stidk around in_

dirdles trying to put out the fire,
The ne*t tbin^ we knew, those marshmallows were_

flying ri^ht off the end of his^stidk and pradtidally
301 n$ into orbit-.._ ._...... ...
0M6j! Dad's marshmallows lit up the n»3ht sky like a

meteor shower or somethin3 /Adtuallyît looked kind
of dooll
Mi FAMILY', ROASWfi MMSH/MLL0WS
J
somehow in all He £omr*o-tion, one o f He

•PlanningmdvsKmdlloy/s landed..on He -(Vordtofkis... . .
Housev le^ and s-tudkHere- Of touv-se Bvianna
■totally los-t it and dbarted streaming ker kead off!
Ilimkin^ fas-t, /VIo rr\ grabbed "fc.be budkefc. of vMafc.et
Dad bad pladed nearby and <\uidkly doused -tbe fton-t
of his -fctousets jus-t as
goodness he wasn'thurt ot anything-
Bu-fc -then out very nosy nei^bbout lady, Mts l/Vallaban$et,

dame tunning ou"bide "to see wba-t was ôin^ on._
Dad itiedbis bes-fc -to e*plain "to bet -thai while be

was o
bad an unfortunateli-fctle addiden"t-
Alts Wallabanêt jus-fc s-tated a-fc him with this teally

disgusted look on bet fade- _ _ .
She $ave Dad a led-fcute about how be should be ashamed

of himself and adtually -thtea-tened -to dall -the polide-
Then she stormedbadk into bet bouse and slammed

bet door Bu-t we dould see bet peeking ou-t at us
thtou^h bet dut tains-___
We wete all supetdonfused aboutwhy Alts Wallabanêt

was behaving so s-fctanêly,_
UntilI -took a closerlook atDad and realised it
ad-tually looked like he had, uw . . wethiwsel-f-
Which also pretty wudh explained why Mrs

Wallabanêr had TOTALLY FRtA&V when Dad
jold her he'd had an “unfortunate little accident”
in -the backyard-..........
We -finally decided to dal I it a ni^ht, and Dad put

ou-b our dawp-fire by shovelling dirt on it-
Sinde Dads trousers were wet, div-by, warshwal low-

dovered and slightly charred -from*bhe night’s
activities, Mom insisted -bha-b he -bake thew o ffjn_
the âv-aê and throw thew in the rubbish so he _
wouldn t wake a wess in -bhe house,
Then she rushed upstairs -bo $et hiw a clean pair -bo
put on-
Well, Mrs Wallabanêr must have STILL been pre-bty

upse-b, because when Mow $otback -bo -bhe $ara$e to
<yve Dad his trousers, y/e heard this loud Comwotion
out in our driveway,
m
From wka£ 1dould -tell, Dadwas
kea£ed ar<}umen£ wi£k someone-^
|£sounded like a lady was -trying -to donvinde him sKe.

was £kere "to keif kim^Bu£ Dad kef £ insisting in a
really loud voide £ka£ ke didn £ WANT or NFFD any
o-f ker HELP-
Tka£s wken £ke lady said, uAd£ually, sir, I £kink you

need £o ie£ me HELP you FIND YOUR TROUSERS'"
OMti! J was stacked -to see that police officer! But
I tad to admit, she tad a really $ood point about
the trousers issue-
Then Pad $ot an attitude about the whole thin^

and told the police lady that he didn't appreciate
her waking a joke at his expense-
But the police lady told Pad that he needed to calm

down and have a seat in the back ofher $«\uad car so
they Could 30 for a little ride down to the station-..
I thou3ht for sure Pad was 30^3 to 3et arrested

or sorwethin^
Thank 3oodness Mom rushed outside and explained

everythin3 about that flamin3 marshmallow, the
bucket of water, and Pad s no-trousers situation-
And after the nice officer lady was convinced Pad

HASN'T wanderin3 around the ne'^hborhood peepin3.
in ne^hbours' windows, she apolo3ized to him and left-
In spite of the fact that the evening was a total
14-5
disaster, Mom still insisted tkat we -take a pidture
to put in ker “Family Sharing Time* sdrapbooL_
So we all posed in tke kitdken bolding a dradker

wiik fake smiles plastered on our -fades,
just to make ker kappy^
_ "OURFAMILYMARSHMALLOWROAST"
(DURING WHICH, WS TROUSERS CAUGHT FIRE
AND HE NEARLY$0IARRESTED1_
This was tbe WORST "Family Time" ever!
£'mde we were all pretty traumatized -Pror* tke_

marshmallow roast and Dad was still FURIOUS at
that Coy, I dedided jt was a UFR/ bad.lime io
bvir>5 up the wKole tuition bill issue-
Maybe HI tell them tomorrow- Or I dould always run

away and join tbe dirdus. . . ©ff
... mo
TUKVBD OFF
TUBLIGHTS?!
SUNDAY1, NOVEMBER 17
f was awake r»> ost o-f tbe ni^bt* tossing and turning
and trying to -figure about all my

problems.
jdL IVCD, f never thought in a

million years fd ever adtually
sdbool-..
But over tbe las£ douple months | <}uess tbe plade bas
just sort o-f jrown on me or something-_
Cbloe, Zoey and I have bedome really $ood -friends.

I adtually WON -tbe avant-$arde art dompetition,_
And -then Brandon asked me to "tbe Halloween dande
Although, tbanksto Mad£enz.ie, things aren't as
$ood as they onde were ©•
All! really need to do is -fiaure out bow to -fi*

it all.
At this point I basidally have TWO dboides:
IW
L Just <yve up and -brans-Per -to a new sdbool.....,l/Vbidb
yne^nsJ^j^LSi^ Have bo $o bbvou^b bbe TORTURB o£
bein$ bbe Hfci/V KID all over a$ain
2, Rob a bank and pay my buiiion wibb bbedasb-.

Wbidb, un-Porbunabely, dould be bbe -Piv-sb sbep in my
new li-Pe as a rubbless -Pelon-_ ____
ME, AS A RUTHLESS CRIMINAL
- i i i \ J
Instead of spending four years in hiqh school and

four years at a major university, Til spend eiqht
years in prison for robbery.
And when ! qet married and have a baby, my poor

daughter will take after ME and bedome a juvenile
delinquent while she's still in nappies._
150
Mi fMBy"S FIRST BIRT1IDM FBLOHi
Av\A tken. \wkile I'm rotting in Prison (and kavin<\
supev-fun mani/pedi dell-blodk parties y/itlb{:kose.
delebs), HI realiz-e wkat a korrible mess |ve made o-f

myJife and totally regret tkat I DIDN'T $ive my
dad tkat telepkone message -from...Principal l/Vinston|
Anyway* ike ONLY choice I really kave is ho tryto

êt a sdkolarskif by mnl^ tkat -talent skow._ _ _
Un-fortunately, I’m just an okay singer. But i-f I was
in a band witksufertalented musidians, | mi<}kt kave
a dkand&
So oy\ Mot\d^ IV 50'm^ -to put up posters around

ike stkool and iken kold auditions-for a band- if
IV ludky, maybe tkere are a -few really talented k
wko HjfyVfcN’T signed up -for tke skow yet
moudmNovember\e
I arrivedat schoolan hourearly today to put up

audition posters tor my band-
I also ôt permission trom the ottiee to use the_

band room atter school tomorrow..
I know this is last minute^ But all I really need is -for

three or tour people to show up,_________
/Although it was still -fairly early in the morning; at

least a halt doz-en groups were already practising in
various locations throughout the school-_
The CCPs in the cateteria were blasting their music

so loudly I Could barely hear myseIt think,__
I peeked in and saw Chloe and Z-oey dancing and tlirtin^

with Jason and Ryan- My BFFslooked SOhappy-__
There was no doubt in my mind that theyM enjoy

dancing with Jason and Ryan more than bein$ in my
ra<yta3 b a n d,.....- -.-.

I planned -to -tell -themin -thelibrary -today -tha-t I d
changed my mind abou-t bein^Jn -tbe -talent show-I
was sure they'd understand-___ ___-.
MB, UP MV AUDITION POSTERS
As soon as | finished hanîn^ my posters, I rushed “to

dlass eav-ly -to try -to finish up some homework -tha-t I
hadnt been able -to Complete over -the weekend-
I dan't believe bow mudh homework they <yve you in
middle sdbool. There's just UO WAV you tan $et all
of it done
TKe last thin$| needed was an jndor«plete, so | decided

to tome up with a veally $ood e*duse so my teadher
would 5*ive »»e e*tra tin>e to finish my assignment
For some veason^ teadhers tend to believe stories.

that are veally superdreative, no matter bow trazy_
ov- fav-fetdhed,
That's when I dame up with the bvilliant idea for a

bandy-dandy manual dalled-
TttE STUDFNT MHDB000K OF HOMEWORK

_EXCUSES FOR LAZV DUMMIES_
I don't think there's anything like this on the market-
So | dedided to write down all the best e*duses I've

used over the years and plate them in a simple form.
Arid, onde I've dolledted enough of them, I f>U to
155
publish -them as a book that Could possibly become
ah overnight bestseller -for students around the
v/ovldi
(YOUR NAME)
RB’ Issue with Aly School Assignment
Dear.
(NAME 0F TEACHER)
You probably v/on t believe this, but

O my spoiled sister_
O my bratty brother
D^y paranoid unde
□ **y senile neighbour lady
has a pet
O snake, named Hubert,
□ monkey, named Rocky, _
□ vampire bat, named Jean-Claude*
□ unicorn, named Buttercup,
jVbenI
in to you on -time, I became gravely depressed
and su-ftered uncontrollable
□ sobbing
□ tlatulenCe-
□ biCCups
□ laughter.
I am truly very sorry for anyJj

this may have caused-
I assure you, it willNOT happen ao\ain

□ BVERl
□ until homework assignment is due.
□ until tbe Cow jumps over the moon._
□ until tbe ne*t ey.ditin^ episode o-l
America's Ne*i Toy Model
□ (and if you believe this, Td like to sell
you some swamp land in Florida)._
Sincerely,
(Your signature)
Hey| Maybe J dan use the money -from this book to
fay my tuition ©|
So, today in biology, Brandon was staring at me,_
It wasn't like I was staring at HIM the entire houv

ov anything,J'm just very observant and happened to
notide it-
I almost -fell out o-f my dhaiv- when he leaned over

and whispered, "Are you okay, Nikki? You look kind
o-f down today.”
But sinde talking to him would make me -feel even_

MORE- heartbroken than I already was, | just
nodded and kept ri^ht on working on our human
brain assignment
Unlike Madlên2.ie| That $irlwould NOT shut up the

entire hour!
mtl
151
Shebabbled nonstop to Brandon about
lip 3I0SS -flavours and /Vlad's Maniads,
500-500 eyes at him....
While observe Mad&nz.ie's behaviour,1prepared

a lab report support^ my new hypothesis on
mtell»5ende and nutrition; ____
It IS adtually humanly possible to have the 1$ o-f a

toaster pastry and still -fundtion in sodiety!
_X
MAcmzm TOASTER PASTRV
Anyway, a-fter dlass was over, Brandon didn't try to

He just looked at me, skrugged and walked away
witk tkis pev-flex-ed look on kis -fade-_
Its almost like ke kas no idea WH<ATSfl£\/ER wky

I m acting tke way I anr^_
Midk is iironid bedause HE is tke reason I'm a total

PSYCHO.
How dan keNflT know kow I teel?!
But . . . wkat if ke D0££N’T?l
Mat if ke tkinks I'm just being mean forno veason?
I/Vken I actually like kirJ A LOT!! _ __
1.think!__________—.—.-...-.
wwv am I so CONFUSED?!
©//
-T0-'
tubsday, novbmbbr n
Today was the B\$ DAY! AUVITIO^//
AI-tV»ou^V> I felt supere*dited, deep down | was veally

worried^.
If I do^-t win the talent dompetition and sna$ a

sdholarship, I won t have any dhoide but to transfer
to a new sdhool-
Just thinking about it makes mebreak out in a dold

sweat ©!
And, as if I wasn t already STRESSED OUT enough,

Madtênz-ie kept staring at me and <yvin$ me the evil
eye the entire time I was at my lodker.
I was like, "Hey, girlfriend- VouVe dreepin^ me out-

Just take a pidture, why don't dha?"
But I just said that inside head, so no one else

heard it but me-
AW my classes bored me out o-f my skull, and the day
seemed to drag on and on and om__
Wkets school was FINAL-U/ over, I burned -towards

the band room -to get ready -for the auditions,__
As | passed -tbe ea-feteria, I Couldn't Kelp bu-t notice

Mac&nz-ie and a -few o-f ber CCP dancers crowded
around one o-f my audition -flyers. ______
0-f Course wbej& jbe saw me, sbe started whispering

about me and gi gg ling I ikean evillittlewitch.
She had a lo-b of nerve -to be -talking about me ri^ht
to my -fade like that-
However, sinee I had somewhere to be, I ..justignored

her and rushed ri^ht past-
I $ot to the band roo»* about ten w»i>

was relieved to see a doz-en or so kids warming up on
their instruments-
I started to -feel a lot better. But mostly I was

hopeful that *»aybe <*y crazy plan was actually 30'^
to work.-
I Could tell they were pretty ôod musicians just by

listening to them..___ _____
$t sharp | decided to $et the show on the

road..*—
"Okay, Km ready to $et started now, if you ûys

are!" I said cheerfully- "Here's the sj^n-up sheet"
This kinda Cute 5uy who was drumming on the seat

o-f a dkair looked up at me and smiled- u£o, you're
ike one wkos usin^ -tke band room -today? Well be
oui o-f your kair in a minute- As soon as our -tuba
flayer skows up, we ll be moving -to -tke dkoir room -to
pradtise w'dtk -tke $lee dlub”
Ovt o-f my kair?/ Now | was totally don-fused- I

was pretty Sure I mus-t kave keard kim wron^-
"£*duse me? /Aren-t you $uys kere -for -tke talent
skow?-
"Veaki Were ike jaz-z. band; and were doin^ a -few

numbers witk -tke ^lee dlubw
| just s-tared a"t kim wi-tk my mou"tk dan^lin^ open-_

"Umm, okay- I jus-t tkou^kt tkat.- - - urn . . . you all
were kere -for - • " My voide -trailed o-f-f,_ _
/A $uy rusked in and grabbed tke tuba- Tken _

everyone -filed out o-f tke room,_
0tker tkan me, tke room was now totally empty.

Don't panit/J.Maybe everyoneisjust late
or something-
I looked back at -the dlock and won

stoppedworking Jt was r«ovm^ so sloooooooowly.
M«: t04£i#L
And still no one arrived-
%05Jhoe.±dL
By *Ci1,5 1 sighed
obvious,
My brillian't plan was a Complete and buMon^CLUS
FLOPI-
MOT a single person bad botbered to show up tor
nr>y auditions ©|
l^-\ iioowC^)
|\
11 r= ^ Ihi i-
f\ ,c\
L]F=X) —s
I douldn i vemenvbeir ibeIasi iimeI’dfeli so alone-
I ôi a buê lump ih r*y ibvoai and ivied io -fi^bi

badk r*y ieavs,
iin
I was sucb a LOSER!
Maybe -bransferrin$toanp-tber schooly/askk smcK a

badidea after alL____
obvious that no ..one. here _ actually,

me- I’d just been kidding myself -to think so.
My thoughts were interrupted by Violet, who

stormed into tbe room and slammed tbe door-
"Ob, there you are! Wbat tbe H£C£ is o |oin^ on? |

told everyone they sbould bave tbeeked in here -first!
Some people are such IDIOTS!"
Vou iLVVAV'S know exactly bow Violet feels about_

something
Mainly because sbeMI tell you ratber loudly whether

you want to bear it or not- But I kind of like that
about ber.
"Well, thanks a lot for cancelling your auditions at

tbe last minute- I’ve been practising that stupid son$
on -the pia*o for hours! [ ûess fame eludes me ye-t
aâin," she huffed, sdowlin^ a-t me. _
1 jus-t shrugged and -tv-ied -to wipe away my -tears

before she no-tided -them. w| m really sorry. . "_
Suddenly her fade softened, and she looked

donderned- "ttey.^ Are you okay?"
'Sure- Jus-t, um . ..... severe . . . allergies. Adtually,

|jm fine- But did you jus-t say dandellin^?/"_
'YeaK/ You did it on sudh short no-tide. What_

happened?"
uWha-t do you mean, what happened?!"
“What do YOU mean, what do / mean?J" \/iolet_

looked a-t me like I was dra z.y. uyou dandelled i-t!
Right?Okay, dome look a-t -this."
I followed \Aole-t down -the hall, and we s-topped a-t

-the e*ad-1 spo-t td seen Madênz.ie and her friends
almos-t an hour earlier- _ ... __
Violet, pointed at my -flyer. "SEE? ft says
'CANCELLED?'
Sure enough, sdray/led adross my audition -flyer in

bladk marker was the word "CANCELLED?'_
{ rusKed -furtKer down tKe Kail, -to tKe -flyer Td
posted over tKe drinking -fountain^_
It said XAMCBLUVir
I dKedked tKe -flyer on tKe wall near my looker-_
"CAMCZLLBDII” .
I went around tKe entire sdKool ripping my

"CANCBLLfcD//” -flyers o-f-f tKe walls,_
TKen I tKrew tKem all in tKe rubbisK-.
No wonder no one Kad bothered to sKow up -for my

auditions.
$nd I knew just wKo was behind it all-
I dould -feel the tears doming aâin. Only this time

tKey were tears o-f an$er.
111
SinCe it was almost-tim£ -for my mom to pick m£ up,
I decided to -take a skov-tdu-t through the cafe-teria

to êt -to my locket
My mind was ra&int}*I stillhadthattuition, kill

and no way of paying it-
iVhat was | 30'm^ to do now? Tell rny parents?

It looked like that was tke ONLY answev-_
As I entered tke ca-feteria, I suddenly heard

music and -familiar laughter._
JUST 3 RE AT ®!l
I kad stumbled into MacKenz.ie s danCe rekearsal.

After wkat tkat <yrl kad done to me, ske was tke
LAST person I wanted to see-_
I quickly slipped between two vending machines and

prayed no one kad spotted me- And from there j
watched them practise._'_
111
I had "to admit, /Vladênz-ie and her <yroup were
really ôod^Tspedially Chloe and Zoey. As | had
predated, -they were -the best danders by far,
That's when | realised my situation was hopeless.

There was UP WA^/ Ldould win against her
You?-
M the son^ ended MadKenz-je smiled at her danders

like a proud mother hen,___._._......_.
"Okay, everyone! That was FABULOUS^ Let's take

a ten-minute break"_
Before i knew what was happening, the entire room

dame rushing in my diredtion-
Talk about CR/OTY Uk!
There I was, trapped in a room with a bundhof hot,

thirsty danders-._...-........
$nd IVHFRF was | hiding? ^Vith the ide-dold sodas,

juides and bottled water, of dourse.
111
I was like, Way -to 30, Nikki/! My stupidity never
deases to aâz-e
I turned and tried to make a dash -for the door-

Only I forgot about TWO little things,_
THE RUBBISH BINS/
WHAT
THE ...
OOPQll
*^19 b
m
I addidentally tbe -Piv-s-t one and -then
TRIPPED and EELL over the second one-
And /Esf Unfortunately for me, the bins were still

filled "bo the brim with very nasty, slimy stuffThat
students bad either refused To eat fov lundh or
-bossed-
And it smelled 'really, really - - • BAD!
Like slightly ROTTING ■ • • I don t even KMMi.
I hit -bbe floor with a THUD and lay there stunned,

dovered from bead to foot withdistrusting rubbish-
I felt like sudK a KLUTJL_
| didn't know whidh was more painfully bruised, *Y

BUTT or my.E4jCL_______ _
But tbe worst part was that I bad an audiende-_
Namely, E\/ERy CCP in tbe entire sdbooll And of

dourse, Maddenz-ie was in rare form._
17-5
U0M<$, Nikki/ I/VIMT are you do'm^ i
S&av.eti$i&$ -for PINNER?" .
Everyone was lau$bin<y so bard, jfcbey. dould barely

breaibe- '
Well, everyone EXCEPT CUoe and Zoey.
“Nlttl! What happened?" Chloe 3asped,. _
"QM$! Are you okay?!" Zoey asked -frantically,_
My •two best -friends each grabbed an arm and

helped me -to my -feet They were bein^ £0 sweet
and kind "to rê, it almost made me cry!
Mactenz-ie reached into her pocket unfolded a

piece o-f paper, and waved it in -fron-t of my face
•tauntingly. It. was one of my audition flyers._
u£ooo, how did your little auditions for -the

talent show 30?! I see you chickened ou-t and
CANCELLED it at -the last minute," she said-_
I Couldnt believe she actually said that -to me, I just

stood there $larin3 at her as | pondered which was
the fouler piece of rubbish, Mae&nzjeor the reekin3
banana peel that was slidin3 down my foreheads_
I was about to answer when both Chloeiind Zoey.
Ill
turnedand stated at me with surprised looks ©n
theiv- -fades................
“Wait a minute. YOU’RB $oin$ to

sbow?f” CHloe asked, obviously sbodked-
"1thought you said you didn tbavetime because o-f

your dlasses and homework load?!” Zoey added- "Or
is it that you just didn't want to be in tbe talent
show with US?”
"OBVIOUSLY!” Madênz.ie Kissed, and banded them

my audition flyer. "Looks to me like she'd rather
ban^ out with whoever wandered into ber auditions

than you two.”..__..._....._..
Cbloe and Zoey looked very hurt
I tried desperately to thinkup something to say to

my.BF.Es,.....
"Adtually, I, um . . . dedided at tbe last minute
and. . ” ... .
/V|ac£enz.ie quickly siz-ed up ike siiuaiion and weni
in for ike KILL.
‘Well, Ckloe and Z-oey, now you know wkai kind

of BFF yo u kave. As in, Besi Fake Friend- Nikki
flBMOUSLV wanied noiking io do wiik you iwo-
Ske doesni deserve your friendships_
If ikere was an Academy Award -for Besi

Actress in a BFF Breakup Scene, /Vlacênz-ie_
would kave won-
"0M6f/ I fed so SORRY for you iwo • • . I"_

Ske sniffedand blinked away pkony iears, Tken
ske kugged tkem boik like tkeir puppy kad jusi
died-
“Ckloe/ Zoey! Please, please don't believe Macfonrie-

I really wanied io be in ike ialeni skow wiik you
guys. Bui a loi of stuff kappened”___
I Couldn i believe kow upsei ikeywere- They looked

like ikey were going io Cry.
«
... I was -to -tell you about the band -too I
just hadn t bad the dhande• • yet!” I muttered-_
Tve beard enough? Nikki is treating you like dirt_

Come on, $ir|s. IAfe have a -talent show to win^”
Mackenziegrabbed Cbloe and Zoey by their
shoulders and led them away,_
But be-fore Mackenzie disappeared into tbe girls'

bathroom, she -flashed me an evil ^ti* over her
shoulder and mouthed ■._
LOO-ZtR!
$ndri$ht now |m -feeling like one Because thanks to
Mackenzie, myJlfe has been totally
No pun intended ©!?
190
_WEDNESDAY1, NOVEMBER 10_
\
lye pretty mudh $iven up all hope o-f be'm^ in the

talent show.__.
And i stiii a on t have the slightest idea how I’m

50m^ -to dontinue attending l/VCP-_
When | saw Chloe and Zoey in <^ym -today, I really

wanted to apoloîz-e and tv-y to explain everything
be-fove /Vladênz.ie dompletely brainwashes them into
believing all her lies,
But I didn't 3et a dhandeto talk to them bedause

ouv <yym teadhev announded that we were $oin<j to
be playing basketball_
Then she seledted -four daptains to pidk teams.
Un-fortunately, I'm a very drummy basketball

player and have N£\/£R made a basket in my
entire li-fe-.._._.-.-.
So I wasn't the least bit surprised when I was the
lei
very last person to be pidked out o-P tbe entire
d! a s$..
QM$l Talk
And as if bein$ tbe last person wasn t BAP enough,

tbe -four team daptains $ot into a beated argument
over wbo was $oin^ to $et "studk” witb me on tbeir
team.
Its no wonder I strt w self-esteem./
| was hoping that Cbloe, Z-oey and I would end up on

same team, but no
Ims were ôin^ to earn
an A while tbe losing teams bad to take showers.

This made me supernervous because I HATE_
showering at sdhool-___
I never knew that playing basketball dould be so.....

And v/ken I asked my ^ym ieadker if I dould wear
a kelmei, skoulder pads and skin guards, ske $oi an
a-tti-tude aboui ike whole ikin$ and -told me I jusi
needed io kusile more and be a -team player,_
Bui wkai I really wanied to know was, liOW was |

supposed io spend <\uaIiiy iime Lwriiin^ in my diary
wken I v/as êitin$ dlobbered by ikai baskeiball
every ikree sedonds?/
By ike end of ike âme I v/as sidk of ikai ball

So v/ken someone passed ii io me, I jusi y/kipped ii
ri^ki over my skoulder wiikoui looking ] wanied io
$ei rid of ii so I dould wriiein my diary. '.
~~7 ~
Buiêi ikis^ | made ikebaikeiwiikonly

iw© sedonds le£i in the 3ame- _
Tken evenyone dame nunnin^ up io don<yraiulaie me?

And my ieammaies koisied me up on ikeinsbouldens
like I was a keno and we kad jusiwon ike siaie
dkampionskip on someikin^-
m
Lh adNBVBR in r»»y entire life seen people £0 happy
about MOT having -to take a SHOWER/
While we were in -the looker roorn^l was hoping -to

try to talk -to Chloe and Zoey aâin,_
But since their team had lost, they were stuck

takingshowers.
10b
I <\uidkly dedided i*t would be move pvudewtJtohave a
bgarl-io-Kearb wi-fcb -fcbem a~b ano-bbev -Lime-
Besides, I jus£ dor!{, k*ow wba-t io say vi^lvt «ow,
Mke v iba r -tbe ivu£L
Wbidb at ibis is NOT an ofilom

THURSDAY'*MOVBM BER21
0M£j! I Could MOT believe what happened in social

studies today!!
The Cruddy tbi»3 about bein3 so depressed Js_

that I hadn't really paid a lot of attention to my
homework assignment-
I mean, WOW can you study when your entire world

as you know it is Crumbling around you?
To make matters worse, class participation is an

entire third of our ^rade-_
So you CAM'T just sit in the back of the room_

texting all your friends about how the class is
SO boring youre sitting in the back of the room
texting all your friends.___
SinCe | wanted to improve my $rade, whenever __

there was a question I knew the answer to,
I tried FRAMTICALLY to $et the teacher's

a tt e n 11 o n,..................
TBACHB:Ri_MJs..'rt veally wav-m and s-tu-P-fyin -tke
dlassroorr. -today; or is i-t jus-t me?R*_
Bey/ J-L was a $U££TI0N and I actually knew -the

AMSWBR!
0-f douv-se, my -teadkev- totally IGNORED me^_
Like ke always does wken I know tke answer-_
Then we s-fcavted disdussin^ -that sodialstudies.

reading assignment tkat Td kancly reati <\uidkly
skimmedt
l«1
TBACHBR- "So, who
a republic, a -fediev-al republid and a parliameni are
dti-f-Peveim-b from one anoiher, AMD name a spedifid
douniry as an example of eadk Okay/ Lei's sec • • /'
I iriedio avoid eye doniadi and bide behind my

book while dhaniin^ ovev- and over in my bead.......
Bui did iiwork?/ MUH- U
TEACHER: "How aboui
Of Course I lookedlike a ioial ID 101becauseL didn't

Thai's when I toially losi it and sdreamed,
"Um, e*duuuuusse Nit, NW Teadher djuy/ Bui dan
I ask YOU a liitle question?/ Why do you ONLY
dall on me when I DON'T know ihe ansu/ev? li .
seems a liitle DYSFUNCTIONAL or something
if you ask me'"
Bui I jusi said ihai inside my head, so no one else

heard _ii bui me-
When dlass was -finally over, | was putting *y

books in my badkpadk when ihe siranêsi ihin<y
happened-
V\o\ei dame up and wanied io know if | was

siill 30m5 io pui ioêiher a band -for ihe
ialeni show,_______.-...
I jusi siared ai her wiih my mouih wide open,
I dould NOT believe she wanied io be in my band-
lvUm, sure/ I'd LOVF io have you on keyboard/" I
said happily-______._....-.....
HI
\/iolet smiled and pushed, "Thanks, Nikki- This is a
dream Come twe!”
Thai's whenTheodore tinned around and $aveme

■this really weird look
Although*, -to be hones-t, Theodore AL-WAV& looks a

little weird-By some -fluke o-f nature, he Could easily
pass as SponêBob's human Win brothers
{{DUb£! ybu're putting together a band?/” he asked

excitedly-
signed up -for -the -talent show?" I asked
Theodore's band, SuperEreaks, had totally ROCKED

our Halloween dance- And according to the latest
gossip, they were an inside -favorite to win the_
talent show-.........
"Haven't you heard? Maekenz-ie Convinced most o-f

my bandmates to «pAit and join her stupid danCe
yrou.p. She told them the cheerleaders had Crushes
m
on -them and were dyin^ -to be their dande partners.
Now -there are only two RuperFreaks left - me and
/Vlavdus/' Theodove said sadly as his eyes -Pilled with
tears. "The rest o-f our $uys have ône • . . -to -the,
•the, •, V-V-VAM SIW"
He was so upset, I actually -Pelt sorry for him. | âve

him a tissue and he blew his nose-
UJ m really sorry to hear that,” I said, trying to

look very sympathetic that he'd lost the majority
of his bandmates to the Dark Side.
Boy, did THAT sound familiar/
u£o •• • um, do you ûys need a bass and lead guitar

player?" Theodore asked hopefully. .. . __ . . ..
'The jobs are YOURS/" I said happily,_
I explained to them both that I'd already made

arrangements to use the band room for practices
and that maybe we Could have our first practice
tomorrow morning.._____..........._._.....
And sinde tbe deadline -for entering tbe talent show
was ALSO -tomorrow, I d si^n us up -first tbin^ in
ttc morning
"Cool!" said \/iole*t-
"Yes/ YERY'jôqJ!" Tkeodore added,
TKat/s when it -finally occurred to me that we still

bad a major problem-..
"Mm• •.• tbe only remaining issue, $uys, is that we

need a drummer- We dan t do this unless we have a_
drummer ” I -felt like a balloon that bad just bad all
tbe air let out o-f it
l/iolet looked drusbed- "VouVe ri^bt! We won t stand

a dbande! CRUD! My musid dareer is over even_
be-foreit $ot started!”
Theodore squinted bis eyes and tapped bis dbinlike

be was doin^ a really bard geometry problem in bis_
bead or something uWell, like I said earlier, tbe
SuperFreaks' drummer bas <y?ne to tbe Dark Side-
m
But I know another $uy | eould ask He said be was
■boo busy to be in our band, bu-t I'm thinking be
mi^bt be willing to ban$ out with us just -for d week
or two ■for tbe talent show. He's really $ood, too,".
"Really?/" I said, bofe-ful a$ain. "Definitely ask bim/"
I started thinking this erazy flan mi^bt actually work,
uBey,weVeJN IT toJVlN IT/'LLsaid, fovinj^jolet,_

and Tbeodov-e a bi^b five,
4-** Theodore
uSo, I'll see you boib iomovrov/ mov-nin^, -thenf” I
said as | <yrabbed my backpadk and calmly walked oui
o£ tbe VOO Mt.
Bui inside my bead I was £0bappy, I was dojn$ my

Snoopy Ubappy dande”
Maeênz.ie bas Convinced my besi -(Viends and

Tbeodoves bandmaies io joi
dlevevly brainwashing ibem.
And sbe bas siolen my Crush by -flirting wiihhim and

pretending to be interested m photography^_
Bui now |am abourt £o make adomebadk-
energy into my r>ew k>ar\d>-
117
FRIDAY HOVBMBBR 21
I was so e*cited about my -first band rehearsal, I

barely sleft last ni^bt- I $ot up e*tra early, grabbed
a granola bar -for break-fast and rushedjri^htout_
tke d o o r *---
Even thoughschooldidn'tstart -for another hour
with onôin^ pradtide sessions.
I was Kafpy to see tke main office was open, and I

stopped in to -fill out tbe paperwork to enter our
band in tke skew.
Just as 1 was about to -finish up, tke LAST person

I wanted to see walked in. Okay, make that tke
SECOND to LAST persom
With so mudk other stu-ff ôin^ on, | just didn't

have the energy to deal with him ri^kt them 1tried
my best to hide behind my badkpadk so he wouldn't
see me
But it didn't work-
"Hey, you/" Brandon said with a bi$ smile- lie seeded

pleasantly surprised to see me-_
“Mats up? Like_

I HADN'T just been trying to -figure out bow to
drawlinto my badkpadk and zip myself up-
"Nothing mudk. I just stopped in to say ki to a
-(■v-iendi,^ ke answered-
I <ûidkly ^landed around tke offide^No students

were in there e*dept us._
uWelL one has dome in sinde I've been here- • ”_

I said, trying to sound like I didn't dart
“Meyf Aren't YÔU yny friend?f>^ Brandon teased.
“Oh?You meant M£?( Sorry! I just thought. . "
I bit my lip and blushed profusely as Ke stared at

me with that look on his -fade. TKe one that dan_
send me into a severe and debilitating dase o-f RCS
(Roller-Coaster Syndrome) in mere sedonds. ____
1 was i.ke, "iVttEEEEEEEEEl!" But 1

just said tkat inside my Kead, so no one else beard
it but me.
I tried to regain my domposure- uSo, what are

doin$ Kere so early? Other
2.00
"Adtually, I'm Keve for a talent skow pradtide-J kind
of $ot -talked into it a-t -tke las-t minute.”
t-
I -Pelt like someone kad jus-t dumped a 5a!Ion of ide

water down my badk.
Brandon?/ |n tke talent skow. • ■ ?/
Suddenly it oddurred -to me tkat if Mad&nz-ie_

needed a dande partner, HE'D definitely be ker
FIRST dkoide- I mean, wky NOT?!
Bu-t HOl/V dould Brandon jus-t lei /Vladênzie wrap

kim around ker little finder like tkat?!
"Ok, reeeaIly? How .. . . Quaint!” I said tkrou^k my

dlendked teetk- "Sooo, I take it youre dandin^ witk
your littI e • • • Pidture PaL”
Brandon blinked and looked sli^ktly donfused-_

"Pidture Pal? I dont kave a • • •Ok! You mean
A'lattênz.ie?”
DM!!.
2-01
I yve my best -fake smile, "Yeah, | just hope you _
survive your B|£j MAC attaek!"
Then I very obviously rolled my eyes at the

deilin^,
Brandon laughed, leaned over and playfully nudged

me with bis elbow- "Nikki, you JÎLLme! Bi$ Mae
attack?!”
Personally, I didn't see what was £0 dan$ funny._

“Yeah, you two have been inseparable lately. All
that ,,, PHOTO BONDING”
Brandon laughed even harder. Wit/?! I was NOT

trying to be funnyf
Finally be planted at bis wateh. "Well, I better $et

»
I Wouldn't Control myself. It was like I bad diarrhea

of the mouth or somethin^'djood ludk with
Camera Cutie I hope you both . . . um . . . break
a le$|"
X OX
Brandon shook hii head and $ave me a weak smile.
wUh, -thanks, | ûess/_
Xh£n_He.tumed and walked out of -the office. I_

stared a-t him until he disappeared down -the hall.
I replayed our Conversation in my head-
Picture Pal? B'13 Mac attack? Photo bonding? _

Camera Cutie?
I cringed at my words- MT/ did I always ac-t so

CRA'ZV and IRRATIONAL around that ^_
No wonder he preferred hanîn^ out with MaC&nz-ie.

He probably -thought I was a NUT CASfc!
I tried to put the two of them .out of my mind-

I had more important things -to worry about
like band practice. Which, BTW, was supposed -to
o-f-CLCJally s-tar-t in -two minutes,_
| needed "to finish the entry form and hand it in or

we wouldn't be able -to perform.
ZOl
I had Completed all the yuestiorts but omlHAMB
OF ACT?
edyy* Cool—soundly»ame-
Some-thirty like • • • Purple • • • Poisoin • • •

Fv>z.z.ba 11 s . . . of . . . Voo m? HOT!!
Or maybe Purtyry . . . Plastie . . . Screaminy . . .

Toenails? NOT11
So -for -the rtame of my bartd* I wrote in Actually,

I'm rto-t really sure yet-
I hartded the -form to the secretary, yrabbed my

backpack and rushed down the hall towards the
bartd room..; _____
(had rt© idea what to e*pect
I/Ve barely had eiyht days to select a sony and learn

it well enouyh HOT to make Complete FOOLS* of
ourselves-
2.04-
fltherwise kftovm as
MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE-
Theodore flays del I o in -the sdhool ordhestra, and
his best -friend, /Vla'rdus, flays violin- They are both
"-first dhair” whidh m eanstheyare the best at their
instru rr> ents;
I was veally impressed how they had <}one -from

flaying classical musid to Tof tunes- Although
it.fProbably waskt that hard, donsiderin^ the
-fadtthat the two o-f themhave a domb.ined Jj$_
higher than tbe rest o-f tbe entire sdbooL_
These ûys make ME (a sei-f-frodlaimed dork) seem

like a sodial butter-fly,_
TKeir idea o-f a stimulating donversation is_

or_
tbe Si^t Trek fbaser is tbe more tedbnoloîdaJly_
advanded weafom_
\/iolet is f re tty mudh a loner wbo sfends^ hours

and hours pradtlsin^ dlassidal piano piedes. I've heard
she has played in dompetitions all over the nation
and won,
Butplaying popmusid on the keyboard is a whole

different thin^, and I was a little worried she’d
make Bieber sound like Badh and Miley sound like
Mozart
/ever, was thatwe didn't

have a drummer, and that really worried me- How
dould we have a $ood
one?/
By the time I $ot to the band room, everyone was

already there and warming up-
I was totally surprised to see the badk of a $uy

stooped over, adjusting a drum set. Did we adtually
have a drummer??||
Then he turned around and smiled and waved at me,

and I pradtidally FRT^tED!
ZOi>
Theodore had redruited BRANDON?!
I didn't even know Brandon flayed "the drums/
I just stood -there like a* idiot staring a-t him and

■then "the other band members, and "then at him and then
the other band members, and then at him and then the
other band members, and then at him aâin.-
ZOl
This went on -for whaT seemedlikeF0R£\/£R!
And Then Brandon kind o£shrugged and said, wUm,

Nikki, are you okay?! You kinda look like youVe having
a seiz-ure or someThingw
J was like, "Who, ME? NoThings wrong! I mean, why

would you Think someThings tVROK^j? Im ToTally
•fine/1*
BuT mosTly I was in £liCC^ because I dould NOT

believe ThaT f FINALLY had my very own band and
my CRUSH, Brandon, was adTually There flaying
drums-
-tt
1was like,
Then we sTarTed Talking abouT musie, and I learned

a loT o*f new. stuff._
Like, musicians tan flay uby earw or from sheeT

musid.
The really suferTalenTed ones tan jusT lisTen To
IOQ
a so*3 and .figure out how to play it in a -Pew
minutes.
Otherwise, you da* use sheet musid a*d read the

notes -Por tKe so*^S; v/KidK is a lot easier to do.
iVelly ûess what? My band is £0 talented. tKey

didn-L even need sKeet musidl_
I suggested tKe old-sdKool so*3 uDon t Stop Believin w

bedause its one of my dads favorites. I tKou^Kt it
was -Punny how everyone was into it aâin bedause it
was on a TV show.
£adh o-P tKe m ûidkly figured out tKeiv- own

part, and within ten minutes tKey were playing
it toêtKer-
It was absolutely AMAZlMtj to see and hear!!_
Then Theodore told me tKey were -Pinally ready -Por

me to sin^ alon^ and Kanded me a midropKone-
I was sKakin^ so badly, I tKou^Kt I was 501*3 to dvop it
zo°i
Of dourse I muttered, "Testing one, -two, testing, one,
two! Urn, is "this thin^ on?” like a "tO'Lai idiot
it was on, and mV you
Jus-t like thebutter-flies in my stomadh-
After they played the intro -Lo the son^, I dlosed my

eyes, -Look a deep breath and s-Lavied sinîn^ alon$.
We adtually sounded really, really $ood Well, veally
like, thirty minutes.
When we -finally -finished the son^, Theodore,

Mardus, Brandon and \/iolet raved abou-L how well i
san^, especially without having pradtised or anything
However, my little sedret is -that I ve sun^ and

danded "to that son^ a million times,_
in -front o-f my mirror, usin<} my hairbrush as a

midrophone
Z10
Xke mosi surprising ihin<} io me v/3s ihat Brandon is
SUCH an av/esome drummer^
Bui he made me supernervons because be was, like,
STARING} ai me ibe eniire iime._
I blushed and smiled ai him.And iben be blushed and
smiled ai me-
And when he ikou^hiI u/asni looking be siaved ai

me AGAlMl
So I blushed and smiled A6jAlNl And be blushed and_

smiled too!
AH o-P ibis siav-infy blushing and smiling v/eni on, like,
BORBVBRH
Now Rm starting to y/onder i-P Brandon adiually likes

me as MORB iban jusi a £riend^
An A i-P be DOES, I'llse\riousLyûsi„j^R£)P_DEAI)_

•Pvom severe shodk and e*ireme happiness!
III
I eve* wro-te a poem about him.
Like fragile bullets of

the doud of puve nothingness that is me-
Crash! Ba^3f Crash!

6\oes your Cymbal.
__ _ Like me very clumsily

&voCkin<y over -that row of folding chairs
/ nervous.
Does your skin sparkle in tHe sunli^Ht? \
Probably no-t| J
your intense eyes smotHerme
\t^d
And your penile smile -fatally wounds
my jaded soul.
Heart skips a BEAT

a*d suddenly • • • STOPS!
OverwHelmed by tHe awesomeness tHat is YÔl/P
djive me liberty/
Or îve me ■ ■ ■DEATH by drummer!
Before | knew it, tHe HourHad passed and it was

time to leave for our -first dlass.
Sinde "the talent show is next. Saturday, we dedideri _
■to pradtise one hour before sdhool and one hour
aft er sdbool every day for -tbe entire week.
l/VhidhMeans Jill be spending a lot of time with

Brandon©IfSffUEEEEEE//
Bein$ in this talent show is one of

things I've ever done in my entire I
I was really happy and J» a superôod mood tbe rest

of tbe day,
Even when I saw Maddenz.ieand Jessida whispering

and <yivin^ me tbe evil eye during lundh-_
I was like, wmBVBR!
My new band is beyond FABULOUS//
And now | have a really ôod shot at winning that

sdbolarsbip...,.........
©II
SATURDAY NOVEMBER 23
I planned "to spend ike entireevening brainstormin3

ideas for my band-...__.
Tbe show is less -than one week away, and we still

need -to dome up with a name, select a son^ and
figure out what were 301*3 to wear-_ _
Unfortunately, myparents announced that it was

Family Movie Nfoht and insisted that I dome down
and watch a rented movie with them.
My inner child screamed, "UOOOOOOOOOH”
OMt!TalkaboutpureTORTURE!!
Its ALWAYS a
rerun a million times on TV like
Arky ££ar Wat-Sy or.
My dad says he loves rentin3 them to see all the

scenes that were Cut out of the ordinal movie
re I ease,_____*
liVkat ke FAILS -to realize is -tka-t -tke dired-tors dut
"tkose sdenes -Por one o-P -two reasons._
Reason number one: Tkey were B$P^ And reason_

number -two:Tkey were 30R|
I was like. “Dad, are you kidding? Making us watdk

■bkese movies -for ike sevenik -kime is AWPUL_
enou$k. Bui we also kave io see iwc additional kours
o-P really BAD and B0RIN£j sdenes^ Personally, I'd
ranker êk. a bi^ bowl o-P popdorn and .wa.'tdk "tke
kiidken -tap drip"_
Bu-LI just said -tka-t inside my kead, so no one else

keard ii buk me-
And my moms -PavoutL-kes are oldies like Honey, /_

Shrunk ihe &ds\ freaky Friday* Legally Blonde and
!3 djoin$ on 30.
VVkidk I HATE shortly less kkan Brianna's favoritesi

Princess Sugar Plum Saves Bshy Unicorn Island/ parks
Ll^V^JndiPrmdess^Suât Plum's voide sounds
like a dkipmunk on kelium- _ _ __
"Please don't worry, all you iute, liddle, adorable
baby unieorns. |, Printess Sugar Plum, am here to
save you all! AGAIN! For tbe fifth time/ All because
I'm CUTE, LIDDLE and ADORABLE, just like all
of YOOOUH"
Family Movie Night movies are SO LAMB, I’d love to
2.18
bovvo'w Prindess Suâr Plug's fink dandy-dane maîd.
y/and and -transport mysel-f to ike moon._
FOR MV PAREKTS TO
FORCE /ME TO WATCH
THIS RUBBISH/'
Tka-fc/s v/ky//
I lm jus£ saying- . • II
SUKPAV, NOV£M%BR Ik
TcnijK-t my favents went out to dinnev and asked me

t o ba by sit B vi a n na-______
iAt fivst I was like, NO WAV©/ But I -finally a$veed

to do it aftev they offeved to fay me,_
I need tbe money to make some sufevdooiT-sbivts

-fov all my bandmates-
1/VeVe 501 n^ to look AWESOME

T-sbivts with jeans when we fev-fovm in tbe talent
show-
Am | HOT bvilliant ©?/
Anyway, tbe worst tbin$ about babysitting Bvianna

is that sbe always takes TOTAL advantage of tbe
situation,
And, sinde i!w» $ettin$ faid, sbe adts like |m bev

littlePLAyMATE-EOR-ttlRE ovsomething
110
Whidh means for -the pas-t -two hours I've valian-tly
suffered -thr ou^h a very off-key live performande
of Brianna and Miss Penelope sinîn^ -the hit
Single Ladies"/
uNikki, fm ônna be Miss Penelope's badkup singer

when she $oes on her world -tour^"
AND I've attended a Pri
parky dressed like someone's ^reak-yandmokker,
wikk a doll and a mokley drew of skuffed
animals. .
/VIORB TBA,
a/iAT)Am£?
mntsn/yttZf
/ou 'would kkrnk khak afker I suffered ikrou^k

kkese playkime indi^nikies, Brianna would have
apprediaked ik and HOT ^Wen me sudk a kard kime
ak.dinner*-
Buk HOOOOl!
111
Mow* left r»*e spedifid instrudtions ‘that Brianna
dould NOT leave the dinner -table until she’deaten
ALL her broddoli.
So Brianna just sat there poutm$ and slapping her

broddolLaround on her plate with her fork like she_
v/as playing w*jr*iatuve <ôlf or sow*ethin<y
I told Brianna she was ôin^ to have to either eat

that stuff or sit there another forty-five_ wunutes^
until her bedtime- Of dourse she $ot an attitude
about the whole thin<y
I left the table to put w*y dishes in the dishwasher.
And when I ôt badk, I was
this annelid smile on her fade that went frow* ear

to ear-
ôu dould pradtidally see her halo.
I was wvore than a little suspidious.

“Brianna, are you SURE you ale all your broddoli?/"
SKe nodded and jusl kepi smiling like an insane-_

down. Bui I was MOT aboul lo be oulsmarled by.
a si*-year-old,_
ll^
Thais v/hen I demanded ihai she open hev mouih-
Well, noi HER mouih, exadily . . . Miss Penelopes
rnouik
Bui suvpvisin^ly, Bvianna had noi siashed hev

bvoddoli in iheve-_
So i âve her a bi$ hu$ and iold her how pvoud

/Vjorw y/as $oin<^ io be o-f hev-._
SKe didn't say a word and jusidoniinuedio smile
like ske wasin a Aliss Amerida doniesj._
Unforiunaiely, N£W I know wkyi
L bad -bulked Bvianna in-bo bed for -bke ni^k-b and

was feeding -bke fisk in Dads aquarium wken I
spotted -bke.se .siranê dkunks of tyreen $unk floaiin^
avound in -bke waier-
Ai firsiI ikou^ki ii was some kind of deadly,

fJeskr-ea-bin^ alâe or someikin<y_
Bui upon dloser examination ii looked exadily like • . •

Waii fov- ii...i_. VVaii fov* ii ... . _
I almost lostmy meai loaf vi^ki ikere on ike living

voom darpei
I sdveamed ai ike iop of my lun^s-.

ummmt v<>u_
SPAT bv~o££oli 44ft—
„11
the +i-sh tar\k? It • •
djet dov/h here»_

dnddedn up *tbis—
/ in i s ii-i“
mess/ J\lqrn
THIS ;MINUTE//"
1 MAP, 1
was so STRAN$L-BV
have bevf_
1 knew sbe was jvist pretending to be asleep-
Wbidb meant / was tbe one _STMC^ deanin^ HBR.

slimy broddoli ûnk out o-P tbe aquarium.
It was the GROSSEST thm9 EVER/

Babysitting evil little muneKkin is s^cb a
ous
lie
As a matter of_ fact, tbene*ttimemy parents
ask me to watck her so they can 90 out to dinner.
I'llwTHMMoioSTAY HOMBandORDBLa
&Lfi #$.% ?lZZA!L __ _ _
|m just sayi r!f
At leas-b I have tbe money -for our T-shirts.
All we heed to do now is Come up with a really Cool

name -for tbe band and select our son^._
©//
MOHVA'/, MfiV£MBER-2£
Today my
WORST
After an insanely boring morning at sdhool, it was

finally time for lundh-
I grabbed my lundh tray and was making my

way over to table nine when | noticed tke strangest
thin<^...........
to be staring at
me and whispering and snidkerin^
At first I thought maybe toilet paper ôt studk

to my shoe from w»y trip to the bathroom,_
Or maybe a humonôus boomerwas dan^lin^ from

my nose-
230
Bui -then I spoited Madênz.ie across, ike room,
^lav-'m^ at me all evil-like wiih ihis Kuê smirk o»
her iade-_
And ri^hi nexi io her were a bundh o-f CCPs

drowded around her superexpensive hoi pink designer
notebook domputer lau^h'm^ iheir . . . urn • • ._
behinds o-f£__
Thais when 1 $ot ibis really, really BAD

-feeling
My thoughts were radin$ as | dollapsed in my seai

ai _ibe lundb table-_
Could she have- . • ?/
Would she have- • .•_?/
Did she DARE, - - ?!
Well, I -finally $ot ihe answers io my burning

questions when Mait looked ai me and yelled • • •
My s-toâeK was tKurn'm^ a*d I had totally lost my
appetite.____
i kept tukmfr ow. m she. didn't!!
But Mackenzie HAVH
Z VZ
I was £0 humiliated! 1 blinked badk my tears and
tried to swallow the huge lump in my throat-
I wanted to vun away, but a-fc that moment I was

■too upset to move-
So I just s-taved at my -tuna noodle casserole-
I was about -to dump my -tray and Iea ve when

Mad&nz.ie sashayed over -to my -table-
UJ heard you and some other V0Rt^S -(-rom

SuperFreaks s-tavted a new band- What are you
dallin^ yourselves, DORKAUCIOUS?!”
uMad&nz-ie. why did you -tell everyone abou-t the

Queasy Cheesy video?! I kept my part o-f the deal,”
I said, still badk tears._
"So what i-f you did! Kow that Chloe and Z-oey
ave on my -team, | jus-t have -to make sure I don -t
have any major dompetition. And sinde I heard
yourlittle band was halt dedent, I -figured now
was tke perfedt -time to let tke world know wkat
a talentless loser you are- SORRY about thati"
wttey, Maxwell, I wanna see you do your Queasy

Cheesydande/'' Matt dontinued to taunt me -from
the, jodk -table,
"Matt, / wanna, see YOU do some personal by3'iene/'

someone retorted- I whipped my bead around and
was stunned to see Chloe and Zoey standing on
the other side o-f the tableJMhen bad they $ot
there?
Cbloe slammed Matt with yet another insult as she

slid into the seat to my leiit, uDude, even your -Plies
are starting to drop dead -Prom the odour/”
"Yeah/ You're SO nasty I wouldn't slap your -fade

with somebody else’s hand/' Zoey hut-fed as she took
the seat to my ri^ht
I almost -fell over -from shodk, it seemed like we

hadn't sat together at lundh -for a$es,___
ujVe you okay?" Chloe asked, and âve my shoulder a
sûeez-e- uWe heard about that YouTube thin<y"
uWe actually thought you and your sister were

adorable^" Zoey said, smiling.
| didn't believe that uadorable" fart for one minute-
I looked like a total idiot in tbaiuddeo- And it was

VfcR}/ obvious that Cbloe and Zoey were just lyin^
through their teeth to try to make me feel better.

Which was one of
done for me!
They ave the sweeiesi BTEs fcVfcR! I dont deserve

friends like them,
I was just about to afoloîz-e to Chloe and "Z-oey

and try to explain everything when Mackenzie
started shrieking like a lunatic,
"Chloe/ Z-oey! WHAT are you two doin^? I

specifically instructed ALLmy danders to sit
together at table -Pour//^
"Ur«, you ûys don t have to sit with me- We dan

talk later, okay?" ! muttered-
Mackenzie rolled her eyes at me, "Besides, Nikki is_

about as talented as a toilet plunder! 0M6\! That
video was painful to watch?._._ _ ..._
"Well, at least IW not a shallow, fashion-obsessed diva

like you- If your brains were dynamite, you wouldn’t
have enough to blow your nose/" I shot back- _
“OH. PUH-LEE7-E' YouVe ûs£_êalous because
you're not in_ MV-dande <yrouf>. Everyone knows we're
loe! Zoey! It's
either Nikki or ME! You better dedide ri^ht now”
Slowly they both stood up. I -felt HORRIBLE that

they weredhoosin^ Mad&nz-ie- But I really didn't
blaê them.
Iwasthe biggest
tbe biggest DIVA-
uWelUV ^lad to see you $irls have finally dome to

your senses. At least you know a phony friend when
you see one/' MadKenz.ie said smugly._
w|t wasn't a bard dboide at all,” Chloe said-
ul a$ree- There's so mudh phony baloney that if I bad

bread and mustard, I dould make a sandwidb!” Zoey
e*dlaimed-
I just stared at my two friends- I felt like I bad

been kidked in tbe stomadb-_
Then Zoey pladed Her hands on her hips and ■took a
step Wavd Madênz-ie.
’’We heard every word yousaid -to Nikki- And you

knowwhat? Yû mLU/ need to $et over yourself/
It^s hard to breathe up in here with your stank
attitude!”
I dould NOTbelieve Zoey had just said that!
Chloe folded her arms and nodded-_
"Yeah, Ive had «\uite enough, chics- You dant treat

our friend like that and êt away with it. Oh, and
one other thin^ . . . | QUIT!!"
"MB too!" Zoey said- ....
"l/Vhat?! Yen* CAN’T <\uit!w /Vladênz-ie sdreedhed-_
"WB JUST DID!’’ Zoey said-
"Yeah, what part of 'I ûrt/ do you NOT

understand?!” Choe asked-
Madêfiz.ie trembled v/itb v-aê, and -the
-from tbe bottle in ber dlendbed -fist sprayed
everywhere/
"HJMEU dioni need you, anywayLJust stay out of
my way, or you 11 be sorry;
shestomped back to the CCP table-
I was 20 happy my BFFs had chosen me ov<

Macênzje, -A>«^ +hp\/ ^*r>A i,d fnv »«p +««/
We did a ^roup hu^ ri^ht there at table nine-_
"Oh, well. I <y*ess we wont be in the talent show

after all/' Zoey said-
"Yep! Thats showbiz-!" Chloe quipped, and $ave us

jaz-z, hands,
"Fey, I have an idea!" I said, "Why don't you $uys

join our band? We're practising after school today.
We Could use two more singers!"
"I don't know, •," Chloe said,.._......
"Yeah," Zoey agreed, "I'm kind of sick of all the

drama "
X\0
"Please!" I begged- "II would bejustlike our Ballet
of tbe Zombies days! How FUN was that?!"
"Veab! That l/MS pretty awesome!" Cbloe

dondeded-
"Even tbougb we got a D" Z©ey added wistfully-.
"Well, before you say N0, at least dome to our

pradtide after sdbool today/' I pleaded-.
"| guess that sounds fair," Cbloe said-.
"I dan t wait to bear you guys!" Zoey gusbed-_
Idouldsee Mad&nzje staring atus from a dross

tbe dafeteria and whispering to Jessida,
But none of that mattered-
Lfmally bad my BFFs badk!
mi
TUBSMV, mvSMBBlUA
Wehad a BLAST at band practice yesterday!
Cbloe and Z-oey were
Sonow theyVe offidial.members and will be dandin^

and sinîn^ badkup ©!
I can hardly believe my BFFs and I are adtually ôin^

to perform onstage together- ___
Madênzies master plan to keep me out of the talent

show bad failed miserably. /And now J was about to_
bedome her worst nightmare; stiff dompetiti on!
So it was poetid justide when we agreed to dal I our band
(dourtesy of Madênzie!)-
lA-z
We even wrote an original son*} that wasinspired by
Mad&nz.ies little insult-
It all started when \/iolet Crossed her arms and

smugly announced, uHey/ IW a dork and PROUD
Then we started ôkin$ about whidh o-P us was the

BI4$££Idork- The $uys were like, "Can you please
stop ôo-fin^ around?”
Then Zoey said, U$diually, weVe noi goofing around-
Were doing • • • urn , , , vodal warm-ups/
uVeaK, and.vodal warm-ups av-e VERY imporiani.^

Chloeadded as she playfully gave ike guysike _
siink eye..-.........
Thais when Z-oey siaried singing, “Try in io fii in ai

n>y sdhool, bui kids keep idling «*e a dork aini doolw
AncLChloe sang,
WJ remind myself I m super DORKAUClOUQl” I dhimed in-
We bursi inio giggles, and gave eadh oiher high fives/
The guys jusi smirked and rolled iheltêyes ai us-

Then ihe ihree of ihemsiaried whispering io one
an oiher,
I knew ihey were up io someihing, and I ^figured

ikey were going io iry io ouidous,__
And I was irijiltf

TttE-Y started dlownin^ around.TO.O!
Ibej*e%t tki n$ we knew* they were dandin^,sm^

and -frontin' like hard-dore rappers:_ _
"Dork, nerd, 9eek, -freak

Is all you see
_But just badk o-f-f___
/And let »e be MB!”
We all lauded so bard, our sides Kurt-
Tbe WEIRD tbin^ was that their son^ bad a

datdhy melody and a really <yreat beat- It was tbe
kind o-f son$ that $ets studk in your bead -for tbe
entire day,____.......
Even .though it was supposed to be a joke, us îrls

LlKBV it- Of bourse, tbe $uys thought we
actually
wereMMIZlll
But they -finally agreed to let us try to turn it

into a real son^-While l/iolet, Theodore, Brandon
and Wlardus worked on the musid, Cbloe, Zoey and I
Z^
«p*itkly cyrabbed a piete o-£ paper and -finished writing
tool, original son^ aboutnot fitting in at stbool and

bein^ wbo you really are._
I have to admit, it isn t about superserious stu-f-flike

lost love or saving tbe world-
But it s OUR son<y and it expresses bow we feel-

That s tbe most important tbin<y_ ___
Kow that we finally have a name -for our band, I was
able to <êt started on our T-shirts._„___
Blasting r*y fave tunes, | -threw a one-person paint-n-

3litter party that lasted until midnight
There is only one word to desdribe des'ijncT

treason: "DOMAUCIOUS" ©f_
XM
in <yoin$ on lately, I've been
SO distracted-I'd probably -forget my bead i-f it
wasn't attached to my shoulders. __ __ ___
Everyone in the entire sdhool seems to know about
DOWALICIOUS!
Students have even started don^reâtin^ outside the

band room door to listen to us pradtise,
Its almost like were a real band with real -fans.
/W NOT just a <yroup o-f dorky -friends who love

musid and have only been playing together tor less
than a week,___.
Tbe latest 3ossip is that Mad&nz.ies dande yr°up |S

no longer a slam dunk to win tbe talent show._
tVhidh | ûess is ôod news -for us.___ _ ____ _
Especially -for me> sinde winning tbe talent show

sdbolarsbip is tbe ONLY way I dan stay at this
sdbooL_____.-.-...-.-.-.-.-.—.
I thought about telling Cbloe and Xoey about_

my dad and everything else, but I think it'll just
domplidate matters,....._._...
2*1
The last thin9 [ need is them questioning my true
motivesAMD our ■friendship AfiAlhL
But at the same time, keeping all these secrets feels

really wron<^
hwmm I have to ask myself:
mSLwmlejcmwme
Anyway, today is our last day o-f school before the
Thanksgiving breaL
The dress rehearsal -for the talent show is on

Friday, and then Saturday is the b'15 day._
PLEASE, PLEASE. PLEASE m

win so I can êt that scholarship/!__
The $oodnews is, even *fI DON’T win, I probably

WOKJ have to worry about transferring to a new
school-
VoO
Bedause when my parents -find out everything,
theyVe ôin^ to Js|L-L- /V|E^
And its probably ILLEGAL -to trans-fer a DEAD

BOW to a new sdhooL-• _........ ..
|s this ^11? |»Ve have an emergency! Some

parents just dropped ott a new trans-Per
£rom Westitester Country Pay Only,
| don't think she's breathing
_Thursday; nov.bmbbrja_
Todays TttANl&4Mft/$ D AYM
I L0\Jfc> L0V3i LOVfc -tkis holiday-_
Mainly bedause I $et to eat enough food to feed

tbe entire dast of Bi$ Time Kush-
Brianna and I helped Mom finish up tbe dookin^

while my dad drove to tbe airport to pidk up my
grandma,
Having grandma over for tbe weekend is a real

treat bedause we haven't seen ber sinde we moved
here last summer-
Shesaid therewas NO WAV sbe was ôin^ to miss_

seeing me sin^ in tbe talent show, and sbe was doming
even if sbe bad to ride ber Seaway tbe entire three
hundred miles
And shes CRAZY enough to do it/
Z-5Z
£jva*cUa says all her friends have Seaways -too^/tad
-fov fun, -they get together and ride around town_
like an elderly motordydle gang swigging bottles of
Pepto-Bismol and squirting denture drear*on the
door handles of parked dars,.
VP>
djv-ancUas a little wacky/ Actually - A LOT wacky/
But Mow* says tkat's because ske kas an eccentyic

peysonaIity and a z-est -for lifcJPeysonally, I tkink all
tkaLs just a polite way of saying skes SENILE- __
Bub you 6\0TTA LOVE HER M_
tteye ske is witkkey bkv-ee adorable foodies named
/Anyway, ouy Tkankscyv’w^ d inney was WONDERFUL!
2 54
- -
After everyone bad stuffed themselves, Dad li-fc the
-fiveflade in our living room a^d we all sat around
and flayed a $ame of Parades.. .._....
It was my brilliant idea to do famous singers, and

we took "turns drawing names out of a hat-
0M6f! £he did a FILLER impression of Lady ââ/
/After our âme was over, grandma gathered us

avound and huêd eadh one of us. Her eyes started
to water as she announced that she had something
really important to say.____._._ .._._ ... ...._
u| ûess | should tell you the real reason I wanted to

spend Thanksgiving hereJm..êttin^ on in aê, and
one day soon I'm 30'm^ to be leaving here and 301 n$
on a V£RV lon^ trip. 1 know we re 30^3 to miss eadh
other, but I want everyone to know how mudh I love
you alJLSo | m îv'in^ you your Christmas present
today Mainly bedause fm NOT 30^3 to be here with
you physjdally -for the updomjn^ holidays. But I l/V|LL
be here in spirit!”
That s when Pad ôt really emotional and tears

started streaming down his -fade-. "Mom, we love
you too- But please don't talk about dyin^ and
leaving usj
QM$! It was £0 s,ad, even 1sniffed a douple of

times.
rolled hey eyes at my dad like he was a COMPLETE
IDIOT'
uFor Petes sake/ When you we\re a baby, your dad
r«ust have droned you on your bead a -fey/ times
too many- Who's talking about byiNfi?! Gladys,
Beatrice and I are flying out to Las Veâs -for
t\wo weeks, and y/eVe leaving ne*t Wednesday.
From there were doin^ a road trip to Hollywood
to see a taping o-f Betty White's show and
The Price fs Rjyhil We wont be back until AFTER
Christmas."
We all breathed a HUdjEsi^h O-f relief.__
grandma dontinued, uAnyway, before I leave, I

want to $ive you all an early Christmas present/ _
It's a prideless family heirloom that has been
passed down through $ene ra ti ons of M a *wells _
sinde1$Or was it One of those years.
Lforget whidh. Anyway, it's my most priz-ed
possession,"
Che went to the dloset and pulled out a lar$e

Christmas present topped with a shiny red bow,_
That's when it oddurred to me that if her heirloom

was a supere*pensiveantique, maybe rny parents
Could sell it on eBay, use M/ portion to pay off
my tuition, and STILL have thousands of dollars
left over-
Maybe grandma doming to visit and giving us our

present a month early was the answer to m_Y„
prayer,...-.
hot!
When we opened the bo*, inside was a SUPBRold_
iron budket with a large handle on the side,_
My dads eyes lit up and then «\uickly filled with_

tears again-.-.-._........
"MOM, you shouldn't havelf" he gasped- "It's_

grandma djerttudes iCe—Cream maker. She used _
to make me ice cream with it when I was a
little boy 11
I was like, JUST ^RBATf So much for my idea of

selling it to pay my tuition bill
Our so^dalled prideless heirloom was basically a piede
of JUML
By ne*t month we’d probably be usin$ it as a

makeshift redydlin^ bin- Then during ©ur annual
spying dleanin^ Mom y/ould fay the junk hauler_
to take it and a fey/ other of Dad s $ara$e sale
treasures (like his paddle-less danoe) to the _
dity dump............
grandma handed my mom a piede of paper that
had the Maxwells' sedret ide-dream redipe written

on it
Td LOVE some dreamy, delidious, Maxwell family

ide dream for dessert- Anyone else?” grandma
beamed proudly-
Brianna $ot so edited, she started dandin^_

aroundYVaaay! Lsdream/ You sdream j We all
sdream for ICE CREAM!”
uWhat a ^reat idea!!” M om said as she herded us all

into the kitdhen- u| think making ide dream together
would be a wonderful Family Sharing Time! Come on,
e v e r y on e^FUN-JEUMjFUN!”_
| was like, ob drud! '‘Family Sharing Time”? A$ain?

Noooooo! (£)!
Making homemade ide dream

■Pamily—fviendly ad-tiviiy. Ri$hi?
Bui KOT wiih an aniiûe, dasi-îron, band-dranked

ite-dveam maker,
Things gotREALLY' domplidaied when Dad showed

Brianna whaibe used io do for -Pun when be was
her age-
When Mom wasni looking, be and Btianna itied "to

£NBAKa -Pew lidks of ide dreamJtbai bad spilled
over ihe ..sides-.......
l/Vho'd have ibunk sudb an old-fashioned gadget

like that douldreadb FUTURISTIC SUBZERC
TEMPERATURES?!
TUB MAXWELL FAMILY _
.MAXm UmBMADB ICE CKBAM _,

?
mmm HALP| | -think »>y thun*} 12.

t-hufik Oh da ihide o£ -thiz.
---Tte-thkeam-thin ^ ^
Can you find tke TWO tkin^s very WRON^j witk

Hus picture?! I'm just say ini.,.,.If
After tkis little -fiasCOiI now know -for Certain wko

Brianna inkerited ker LACK o-f intelligence from!
I tfoujM. -Voir suv-e tkciv tongues weve 30'm^ to
We solid, s*aP of£ fall on tke floor and skatter
into a million little pieces.
Luckily, Dad and Brianna only ended up witk a mild
case of frostbite- A a severe, lout temporary^Jisp^
| was surprised Moms iceCream was so DELlSUf_
But every time that ima$e of Pad and Brianna_

popped into my head, Td start lau^kin^ so hard tkat
ice Cream would skootri^kt out o-f my nose and <yve
me a really painful BRAIN FRfcfcZfc-_
Bey, I wonder if it's true tkat i-f you take a kot

skowerri^kt after a brain freeze, your brain will _
melt and you II turn into a CCP Bmmmm ,
Anyway, we kad a very HAPPV ItiANJ*££MN ! 4
2.*>A-
miDA^MOYBMMR29
Today was the talent showrehearsalattheWCD

Iti^h Sdhool auditor ium.
It's a fairly new facility. that seats two thousand

people- Just the thought of performing in front of
sudh a lavê drowd âve me butterflies.
The $uys set up all our equipment while Chloe, Z-oey

and ! did vodal warm-ups. . ..._ _ _
\/iolet hun$ out with us too and kept telling us how

$reat we sounded.
The hi^h Sdhool student produder of the talent _

show was Sasha Ambrose, a supettalented senior who
won the dompetition two years in a row when she
was in middle sdhool.
The butterflies in my stomadh were ûidkly repladed

by a dold; heavy lump of dread when jsaw
Madênzie badkstaê, whispering to Sasha and
pointing at MT
All ike talent âtkeredin tke auditorily and
waited e*ditedly lor_£asKa to_assiîr> dressing rooms
and 3'ive us our order o-P per-forr«ande-___
Ikere was a total o^ ei^kteen adts, and ske dalled

%
tkem upone by one, EXCEPT Dorkalidious._

/A-fter all -the others were dismissed to 30 badkstaê,
sbeJrinally motioned -for us -to have a seat in the
&oni row.
0-f dourse we were all donderned about why we

badn/t been dal led up alon$ with -the others._
Sasba fulled out our entry -form, read it over, and

slowly shook her head- "So, what s the name o-f your
oil
$rouf<
"DorkalidiousJ” we all answered at onde-_
uWeiL un-fortunately, I have some bad news. Its been

brought to my attention that the deadline -for all
entry -forms was Friday, November twenty-sedond-_
/And it spedi-fidally states here in writing that
-failure to submit a dompleted -form will result in
disûali-fidation -from the show”
| didn't have the slightest idea why she was telling_

us all o-f this.
I had personÂy dompleted our entry -form ri^ht

■the deadline-
We all started to pa*i£ and -talk at onde
Sasha raised her hand, si^nalin^ us -to <\uiet down-

people, I'm sorry,
"I don t understand,” I said- "I-filled ou-t -the

-form and -turned it, in mysel-f- How dan we be
disqualified?!” I was on the verqe o-f tears^
'Yeah, it WAS turned in on time,” she answered- 'The

problem is that it s INCOMPLBTBl It doesn t say on
here that the name o-f your qroup is Dorkalidious.w„_
She handed the entry -form to me, and everyone

drowded around to read it -for themselves. ..
In the blank where it said "Name o-f adt” | had_

sdrawled, u/\dtually, I’m not really sure yet”
My heart sank! Everyone shook their heads in shodk

and disbelief-_
zbe
I dv-umpled ike entry -form and jammed it into my
fodket as tears -flooded my eyes. "1 am SO sorry,
$uys!" I muttered- uI ûess ske's Rs all my
fault | don't know wkat to say. ... ”._
wl CAN’T believe rtjw \/iolet exdlaimed. wMkki, kow

dould you -forget to do sometkin^ so important?"
i just skvu^ged my skouldev-s and staged at tke
-floor.
Tkat s y/ken Brandon dame to my de-fende-..

"Well, wehave £o remember
-tkin<} was kind of £krown
minute- We kadn £ even pidked aname
Saska s-tavted ialkinîn-to a keadse£, and suddenly

-tke bouse li^k'fc.s dimmed.
Tkedur£ains opened £o 'reveal -tke firs£ ad£, wkidk_

was a seven£k-$rade rap $roup dressed in -(-uz-z-y do$
Costumes.. Tkey were per-formin^ -tke son$ uWko Lei
ike Do^s 0u£?”
I koped i£ was supposed £0 be a Comedy ad£.
"Tkis is £0 un-fair^ Ckloe groaned-_
"Tkerekas£0 besom e£kin<y we dando! " Z-oey mo a ned-
"Tka£s skowbizl" Viole£ said sardas£idally._
Saska sko£us a dir£y look and dovered -tke mid on

ker keadsei- "In dase you kaven£ no-tided, I'm -trying
io pu£ on a skow kev-e- Takej£ ou-£inJtke kail
Please!”
iVe sighed and slowly sKu-P-fled ou
audi-fcovium. Then -bhe -five of us
party for Dovkalitious.
Everyone looked £0 disappointed- Itwas heartbreaking
Ill
I was the »*ost horrible -friend BVBK/
I didn't, know what to?ay, so I just afoloîz-ed_

a in-
w£juys, is** KB ALLY, KB ALLY sorry.-.! dan-t believe

we won t be fev-forr^m^ after all -those lon$ hours
of fra dtisjeJjwisL there was a way -to r*ake -this uf
-to you. .
Everyone $ave me a small smile and shrugged it off.
"ttey, so what/They only kidked us out of -the -talen-t

show/ ItsHOT •the end of -the world/' Chloe said,
smiling goofily and doing her jaz-z. hands- _
"And with the Drag on L-ady running things, theres

no way weVe getting badkstage to take down our_
equipment/* Theodore said- u|m outta here/ £iz.z.a,
oW
anyone!_
“Yeah, we dan always get our stuff after the show

tomorrow," Mardus added- "Piz.zj sounds $R£AT
to me'”
Everyone started to theer up a bit and agreed

tbe street-
WkvCk was a ôod idea sinde our parents weren't
sdbeduled to pidk us up -from pradtide tor another
two hours,
But I still felt horrible and my stomadh was dhuminty

Just the thought of piz.z-a made me feel ill-.
"Sorry, $uys, but I'm exhausted- I think I'm $onna

head home-''
"Come on, Nikki, don't beat yourself up!" Brandon

pleaded^
"But more than anything, we had fun hanîn^ out and

pradtisin^ together, ri^ht?!" Chloe said, îyin^ me a hu<y
"I ûess so. Listen, you $uys$oahead- I'm ônna dall
r)i
it aniqht, 'kay? Eat a pi etc of pizâ -for me/' I
said, smilinq 'weakly-
up trying to
withthem-
Even tkou^K everyone was disappointed by our

disqualification, they were trying to be qood sports
aboutit-
I do MOT deserve •friends like these!
I Could bear them lauqhinc

out tbe -front door,
I -found a pay phone andcal led Koine f or a ride.As

I sat at tbe -front door y/aitinq -for my mom to
arrive, | started to -feel even worse,_
Winninq a talent show scholarship was my only hope

-for staying at WCD-
And now even that is qone
Z7A-
f buried my -fade in my knees and driecL
Suddenly J heard -footsteps approadhin^
i <ûidkly brushed away my tears and wipedmy runny

nose on my sleeve-___
"Nikki, you look horrible!" Mad&nzje said, sneering-

"0M£j! What kind 0-f lip 3I0SS are you wearing? Ob,
that's not lip 3I0SS , , a.it's SNOT!"
I was like, JUST
u| Heard Dorkalidious $ot disûalifii
able to dHedk your eniry -form -to make sure you

weren t dHeatin<y-i
uMadênz.ie, I wasn t trying -to dHeat- We just

Hadn t selected a name yet. . !*
uWell, look at tHe <y?od side/ At least now you

won t Have to $et up onstage and publidly Humiliate
yourselfLAfiAlN] And witH botH Dorkalidious AHD
SuferFreaks out of tHe way, it will be an easy win .
for me and my danders^"
"A1adênz.ie, you are a dismally vain, self-absorbed

blonde abyss of seetkin^ wretdHedness/w | blurted out-
SHe smiled at me widkedly^ "You say tHat like it s a

BAD tHin^l”
THen sHe took out Her lip 5loss and slatHered on a

fresH layeti_
2.7k
5M£ out here -to talk -to '/OU-
Now that Bva^dion is no longer in the talent show.
Sasha needs him to handle the photography”_
"Unfortunately, he left a few minutes 330”
Madênz.ie eyed me carefully, trying to figure out

if | was lying or not-
}ivehim the message

that Sasha and I need to talk to him ”
"Sinde when am | your personal secretary? If you have

a message for Brandon, you dan tell him yourself.”..
Mad&nz-ie pladed her hands on her hips and flashed

"Crush mudh? £jet a dlue, horn You
want Brandon? Dial l-QOO-YOU-m\\"” Then she
spun around and sashayed down the halt__
I just BATE it when MadKenz-ie sashays.
Just then my mom pulled up, and I dragged myself

out to the dar%
2-77
u£o, prafctiAe $o-Lou£ eavly?^ sbe asked
'Ve^b, something like I mumbled-
Assoon as I 30-fc Kome, | rusbed up -to my room and
Collapsed on my bed-.
I jus-t lay -there in -the darkness, pondering my
massively eruddy situation.... ..
I am SUCH a LOSER/
And a ?ATWtT\C -friend/ ___ __ _
I wan-t -to believe -tha-t -things are so bad, -they dan-t

$et any worse-__
Bu-t I already know rt s ôin<} -to ê-t worse.
A LOT worse/
Tomorrow morning | am <y?in^ -to have "to "tell

paren-ts -the -tru-th abou-t SVBRYTttlNfil ©//_ _
SATURDAY, HOVBMBBR 10
When I finally woke up, it was almost noon....
k^nowin^ tkat I was <y?in5 to Have to face my parents

made me feel a little nauseated- _ _
0y\ top of tkat, tke sun was skinin^ in m'j

kad a splitting keadacke-
I was surprised to see tkat I still kad on my clotkes

from last ni$kt- I grabbed my pillow, groaned and
buried my kead under it-
Suddenly tkere was a knock on my door. But I ignored it-
Most Saturday mornings, Brianna and Miss Penelope

wake me up- But today was my ludky day,
Before I Could yell H6\0 AWAY!” Brianna, Miss__

Penelope AMD my grandma all barbed in. ....
A TRIPLE dose of INSANITY Could easily destroy

tkevery weak <yripI keld on my patketic reality-
Z00
It was enough "to make me want to jump out o-P my
bedvoom window sdv-eaim'ma.
"Wake up/ Wake up/" Bv-ianna sdv-eamed- uMe,_

grandma and Miss Penelope need you to Kelp us make
some homemade ide dveam/*
My grandma sat ne*t to me on the bed and tickled

me- Time to $et up, Miss Lazy Bones/"
"Please, djrandm a- Stopf I di on t -Feelsi
I'm e^Kaus-ted/"
sleep with all this junk on your bed? Badkpadk, book,

sneakers and-.. • ?"
Sbe pidked up a drumpled piede o-F paper that Kadi

-Fallen out o-F my podket-
" • assorted litter. Is ibis any $ood, or dan I throw

it away?'' sbe said, opening it up and reading it She slid
ber glasses down her nose a bit and sainted-__
"Ob. THAT thin$- It s nothing Just toss itf" I muttered.
I shoved
and Brianna would take theJunt and 5et lost-
"Are you sure, boney? This looks like it mi^ht be

important- Hmtnm? WCD Talent Showdase Entry Form.
So, the name ot your band is ^dtually, I'm Not Really
Sure Vet- Now, that's a bit odd, don't dba think?''
%
wMiss Penelope says skes looking -for dkodolaie
dupdakes- Any dupdakesin here, Mkki?f” Brianna said
as ske rummaged ikrougk my sodk drawer,
Tkai’s wken I pecked oui -from under my pillow._
WN0, Brianna/ Tkere areno dupdakes inside my sodk

drawer- And grandma, MQl Tkai sMOT ike name o-f
my band^ Like, bow ioially STUPID would -kka-k—w
I stopped midsen-tende-
Inside my bead, my brain was sdreaming, *OtAGf OfA(^

THAT'S it!!”
I'd jus-t kad ike mosi TAMTASTICidea!
Maybe ikere was siilLkope -for our band a-fier all_
I was so kappy, I kugged 4rar»drna-... ....
ttl LOVS you, GRANDMA* 1” I giggled as I jumped up

and down on my bed,__
£ke dlimbedup and joined me- u| love you £00,
sweetkear-tf Jm $lad youVe -feeling be-tter”_
"Hey! VYKaHt aboui MEEEEEE?!'' Brianna screened,.

“And Miss Penelope- We wanna jump ieo/w_
All four o-P us keld bands and jumped on my bed like

ii was a -trampoline or sometkin^ .
z«A-
I promised -to Kelp make ike ide dream as soon as I'd
made a few pkone dal Is,
So 4ra»dma and Brianna rusked doy/ns*tairs sin<yn<}

ffiurU Jusj i/Vani ioHave Funw aiike"top of ikeir
lun$s and really off-key^__
I dould Hardly wai-t io da!I Ckloe and Zoey- __...
Wken I iold ikem my idea for êitin^ us badk ini©

ike ialeni skow, ikey ikou^ki ii was brilliant_
Nexi we dalled \ZioletBrandon,Tkeodore and ...

/l/lardus and made plans io meei wiik Saska io
updaie ker aboui our new siaius,_
My final iask was io make some major design _

adjusimenis io our band T-skiris. _
Laier ikai evening everyikin^ weni as planned and
we dornered Saska badksia$e-
I smooiked oui our drumpled eniry form as besi |
dould and banded ii badk io ker;_
Z05
dame rushing over- "
doin<} here?
"Mad£enz4e, were not entering the talent show

as I)ov-ka 1 i£■'»ous/^ | said happily- "Our entry form is
dorredt”,
/Vlad&nz-ie looked ‘totally donf use<L "WHAT?! If

you're not Dorkalidious, tKen who are you?!"
She obviously didn't have a due-
Sashareadover our ent

"Yeah, it makes sensejf_ that's the name of your
band, I tûess you ûys are badk in the show. , ."
"WHAT! How dan they be badk in the show? Nikki,

you dan t $et away with this!" Alad&nzje sdreame
stomping her foot like a toddler Having a temper
tantrum or something- "It's not FAIR!!"
"Later, MadKenz.ie!" I said- "Break a le$!"

Only I REALL.y' m eant it
Well, okay- I meant it just a little-..
Tke word 50-t around <û»dkly tkat we were badk in

and that tke dompetition was 301113. to be brutaL
After. tke. sKow_stajrt.edi, we sat in a dressing room

watdk'm^ all tke otker adts on a television monitor.
Tkere were maîd adts, dande 3roups, ba^ds, singers

and rnusidiansj and most of tkem were really ôod-.
Winning tke talent skow was NOT 3oin^ to be easy.
After about an kour and a kalf tke assistant sta3e

mana3er finally took us badksta3e and told us to
wait in tke win3S sinde we were 30^3 on ne*t-__
Mad&nz.ies dande3rouf was perform'!^, and I bad . .

to admit tkey were awesome-
Tkey wore se«\uined jumpsuits and pretty mudk danded

tkeir butts off to a medley of tke latest pop tunes.
2.87
Sindeourband was added to tbe lineup at the last
minute, we were the last adt to perform,__
Violet and the $uys were entering -from staê left,

and Chloe, Z-oey and I were entering from staê
ri^ht
While we were waiting to 30 on, suddenly my stomadh

V
started doin^ double somersaults._
Z00
( must have been having a panic attack or something
because my brain was screaming s-tu-P-f like, UWHAT
are VOU doin$?? You CAN’T50 outthereand sin§
in front of all those people! What if you MBSS
UP?/y/outiife Will be Kumvai ..
But | wanted that scholarship so badly that I didn't

have a choice-
Chloe and Zoey must have sensed my tear because

they each took my hand and sûeez-ed it and told
me I was <ôin$ to do fine.-.___
My knees still -felt really wobbly. But it was $reat to

know that if they actually $ave out and I fell over,
Chloe and Zoey would be there to dra$me across
the staê and stick the microphone in my hancL_
They are, like, the B££T friends EVER?
I cannot beîn to explain what it felt like to hear

the Crowd when the announcer introduced us. . ._
uj4nd our ne%tact is a band made up of Nikki, Chloe,
Vl°[
Zoey, Brandon, Violet, Theodore and Alardus. Please
weldome to the staê^• ,•_
ACTUALLY, I'M MOT

rballY CURB Y£T"
I really LQVBD our new name! It sounded ed$y and
professional, just like those real bands on MTV!
We quickly walked onstage and took our plades.
I nervously ^landed out at the audiende and

squinted, trying to spot fades | knew- But bedause
o-f the $lare of the bright sta$e lights, the drowd
was just a b»3 massive blur of darkness, noise and
e*ditement
Whidh adtually was a $ood thin*}, bedause not seeing

a million people staring badk at me made me feel less
nervous
I looked over my shoulder and Brandon $ave me a

*
huje Smile and a thumbs-up.___
v\o
He -the* did -four taps with bis drumstidks, laundbin^
\/iolet, Theodore and Mavdus into tbe intro o-f_
tbe son^,
OM^! They sounded £0 §ood! I bad to remind__

mysel-f it was my -four -friends flaying that musid
live; and MOT a son<J blasting on my iPod-_
Ckloe, Z-oey and I started our dande routine just

tbe way we bad practised it-__
Then I smiled at my BFFs, took a deep breatb,

and san$ tbe -first note,_ _ _ _..
At -first it -felt a little sbodkin^ to bear my own

voide so loud and dlear. But I just tried to relax, and
enjoy our per-form.andfi-_
By tbe time we $ot to tbe dborus . .,_
"Pork, nerd, $eek, -freak

Is ail you see
But just badk o-f-f
And let me be M£fw
. I Could see the fivst "two vows had got up on
theiv feet and were dancing along,_
IfVKen we finally finished ouv song, the Cvowd cheeved

like dvaz-y and we got a standing ovation,_
They actually loved us/
Chloe, Zoey and I hugged one anothev as ouv

musicians exchanged fist bumps and high fives. __
I was $>0 hoping we weve going to win- I/Ve HAD

to win//
All the acts quickly filed back onstage and lined up

avound us,........._._.___
A? MacKenz-ie and hev dance gvoup Cvowded in vight

nent to us, she smiled sweetly at Brandon- “You guys
weve awesome! djood luck/w
'Thanks/ djood luck to you too!" he said politely._
Then Mat<enz.ie turned and looked a-t ms like I_
m
was something she had sdraped off the bottom of
her shoe.
VVhi^h didn't surprise me one bit._
As the judge, Alv Trevor Chase, took the stage, the

tension was so thig-k you dould dut it with a knife-
uAs you ave aware, ALL the talent here was very,
very goodLLendourage eadh of you to dontinue to
hone your draft- But tonight there dan only be one
winner- And the winner . . /'_
I held my breath and dhanted inside my head,

Please let it be us. Please let it be us. Please let
it be usf
u- - • of the tenth annual l/VCD Talent Showdase

is. . . Mdds M_
Then she hugged Jessida as all

her danders drowded around hugging one another.
like drying.
It^wjaWtJbhe losing part that made me feel so bad,
but the fadt that I was joinj -to have -to leave l/VCD
and my friends...____
I think the rest of my band was a bit surprised we

lost, but they were being really good sports about it-
After we left tbe stage, we all bulged one another

too- And everyone told me I sang really well._
"Nikki, this was £0 -fun/" V/iole-t $usked- "ifVe didn't
win- But, key, tkat's . . /'. . ..
'MOWSl-Zl” all seven o-f us skouted. and tken_

erupted into peals o-f bulkier at our little joke-
But deep down inside, I -felt really korrible knowing

I was ôin^ to kave to say goodbye to everyone in a
-few days.'
Aly eyes started to tear up, but I didn't want «*y

-friends to see drying.
"Um, my tkroat is a little dry. I w> ônna run out to

tke kail to êt a drink. I'll be ri$ktbade, 'kay?w I
announced, and took o-ft be-fore anyone kad a dkande
to\ oin me,
| went strai^kt to tke girls' bathroom and splasked

water on my -fade. Idrinêd at tke thouakt O-f having
to tell my parents all tke drazy stu-f-f I'd done,_1_
Suddenly tke vzje

rudely brushed past me in a hurry.
“Exduse yoJ" skeKissed as sKe whipped out her
makeup. “IHave a photo shoot to do" _
Ljust rolled my eyes at Her-_
“Too bad you lost/ I Tried To warn you noT To waste

your Time- AtLeast Jessidaand I will FINALLY
$et -to have lodkers next -to eadh other when YOU
•transfer io a publid sdhool! Eversinde your dad
$ot hired as TV>e exterminator, our sdhool Kas been_
overrun with bu^s, ....
“Besides, youVe way too poor to pay tkat tuition

bill tkat you $ot in tke mail last week, so you—'
Mad&nz-ie ôt tkis really -funny look on ker -fade_
and bit ker lip, Then she took out ker lip ^loss and
nervously slatkered on a thidk layer.
1wanted to tell ker to keep ker nose out o-f my

business and tkat ske kad no idea wkaT ske was talking
about- Although, to be konest, ske knew EXACTLY'
what ske was talking about bedause tkere was no_
WAV" we dould pay tkat tuition bill and—
Suddenly it bit me- Mad&nz:ie did know EXACTLY
wbat sbe was talking about; but H£W was that
possible? How did sbe know about my bill, and why
was sbe now sûivmin^ and avoiding eye tonlati?
I put r«y bands on my bips and stared ri^bt into ber

beady little eyes. "So, /Vlad&nz-ie • • • WOW did you
know | $ot a tuition bill? Or did youv- BFF Jessiea
also send V0.U a dopy o-f tbe PHOK^/ BILL that sbe
sent MB?!"__—
'Well, sbe's just tbe o-f-fide assistant in bev- tree

periods. Sbe would MfcVfcR, like, mail out stuff to
people, adtually. • •" Madl?enz.ie stumbled as ber
dbeeks flushed-. ._ ._...
I dould not believe my eav-s^For tbe past two

weeks my lire bad pretty mudb been one îântid,_
dontinuous nightmare as | desperately tried to -figure
out bow to pay that tuition bilL
Then fd pradtidally bad a meltdown dealing with tbe

mental anûisb o-f a possible transfer to a new sdbool
ONLY io FINALLY -find out it was just another o-f
Mad&nz-ies cruel pranks??!!
Ri^ht then I was £0 an<yry I wanted -to <yrab one

of Mac&nz.iessuede Pradaballet -flats_
ar»d shove it ri<}ht down her throat- 1 took a step
-towards her,
"YOU and Jessica sent me a phony tuition bill?! IVe

been worried sick abou-t how my parents were $oin<^
■to pay it, How could you do that?!"'
Mackenzie nervously batted her eyes at her perfect

re-flection in the mirror and then snapped the cap
back on her lip ^loss-. . _ _ _ ___
w| doht have the slightest idea what you're talking

about”...
u/V|acLenz.ie, you are such aliarf”
"And besides, even ifwe DID send you a phony tuition

bill, you doht have any proof! Do you? . LOSER!!”
300
With that, she turned and sashayed out of the
bathroom,
I just MTE it when Matênz.ie shashays/ .__ _____
/Although, to be honest, I was SUPERrelieved to -find

out that bill was -from HER and MOT the school-_
I -felt like I was -finally waking up -from a two-weck-

lon^ nightmare. _ _ _
Well, I learned my lesson, that's -for sure/__
Mo more sedrets^ I was $01*5 to tell Chloe and

Z©ey about my dad and my sdholarship the first
dhande I $ot-
j^nd onde the entire sdhoolknew aboutit,I would.

no longer have to lie awake nights wondering if and
when /Vladlenz-ie was ôin^ to drop the bomb-__
It was like a heavy weight was lifting off my

shoulders even as j thought about it-.
Just "the* Chloe and Zoey rushed into -the bathroom
out, o-f breath._
"Oh, there you are! Weve been looking everywhere

•for you!” Z-oey panted- "Mackenzie told us you
were in here-”.
"0M£j! are NOT 30^3 to believe what just

happened!” Chloe's eyes were huê!
"A-fter you le-ft,” Z°ey Continued, "Trevor Chase

came over and Congratulated us.-Re said he wanted
to let us know that /*? Minutes 0/ Fame -features_
unpolished amateurs 301*3 through boot camp to _
3et better. He said we sounded really pro-fessional
and were actually too 3ood to be on his show^Can
you believe THAT?! He said he wont start -fiLmin3
the new season until ne*t -fall, dnd that s when
Macênz-ies 3roup will 3et to audition- But he wants
to work with us R|djRT MOWj Nikki, he LOVED our
son3 and wants us to release it ASAP./W
UINHAT! Atfi you kiddin3?! NO WAY!” 1 sputtered
lor
'Yep! He says he wants -to meetwithall ofus and
our parents after -the holidays and that he'll he in
toudh^' Chloe dont inued-___
The three of us started sdrearning and did a

<yrouf hu^/
I dould NOT believe that people all over the world

mi^ht actually be able to hear OUR son$!
^nd if we made any moneyjJ dould use MY portion

Badkin £ke auditorium,J y/as talking to my
parents Y/ken Principal Mnston dame up and
Congratulated me-......-.-___—
I Y/as praying tkat ke Y/ouldnt mention tkat bu$

extermination fiasco._
But ke did/
Apparently,my parents kad run into Principal Mnston

and kiswifeat tkat restaurant last Sunday- tie and
Pad kad ckattedand tken arranged a meeting -for
next Saturday to evaluate tke M2P bu$ problem._
Tkank goodness my dad kad MOT been fired after „

all. I Y/as SO relieved:
I never tkou$kt in a million years |'d adtually be

kappy ke was tke WCP exterminator._
But more tkan anytkin^, |\n SUPERyatefultkat

Pad arranged my sckolarskipj (juess I didn t really
appreciate it until I tkou^kt I kad lost it-_
Anyway, I already know the ONLY bu^s Pad and
Principal Winston are 301 n^ to -find at l/VCD are in
a jar in Mad&nz.ie's lodker.
But I've I earned mylesson the Hard way, dourtesy

o-f Madênz-ie-_
1 will h/BVBR, BVBR st.dk my nose in my dad's

business a$ain/ And that's a PROMISE/
So I just kept my bi^ mouth shut about the

WCD bu^s,
A-fter we'd dhanêd out of our band T-shirts,
Chloe, Zoey and \/iolet went badk to the dressing

rooms to padk up the rest o-f our stu-f-f-
Brandon and 1 sat in the sedond row o-f the

auditorium, whidh was now pretty mudh empty-_
He told me that renaming our band Adtually, I'm

Not Really Sure Yet at the last moment was pure.
êniuSr____-.-....-...-.-.-.-.-.
But I admitted that it was my <yrandm£ who tad
îven me the idea-
He also said he was really proud of me and that !

was suth a $ood singer, | could be a star-_ _
f was like, yeah ri^ht, a not-so-talented pop starf
So, we were just sitting there -facing each other,

at me for what seemed like
loi>
I blushed and my stomadh <ôt all -fluttery
inside,
0M6j! I just HATE it when he does that to me-_
Then I smiled- And he smiled badk at me with this

sort o-P shy look on his -fade-
I almost FREAKED when Bvandon kind o-P leaned_

-forward a little until we were, like, ten denti metres
apart-
My heart was pounding so hard I dould hear it in_

my ears,
Because -for a sedond I thought that maybe he was

30mA to ,_s_. you know - - - H!_______ _
But that’s when Brianna suddenly popped up -from

the row ri^ht behind us and leaned over our seats
and shoved her -fist ri jKt in Brandons tade and
shouted:.
"WHAT'S UP, DUDE? MEET MISS
PENELOPE/ SHE WAS BORNED
FROM A PEN' AND SHE SAY'S
Y'OU HAVE cooties!'" %
zoe
I dould NOT believe Brianna actually did -tba-t
0M$! I was £0 embarrassed-
Bui mostly I (e\i SUPERQtfLY a»dINSANELY

WA??Y because everything bad worked out-_
£o I grabbed Aliss Penelope and âyeJker a bi$, fat,

sloppy kiss._I___._._.....
Wkick -totally grossed ker out-
wJictw keir\$ Brianna, not Aliss Penelope^
And of Course Brandon and I both Cracked up-
| ûess be knows by now that |w» just weird like that
omi ...„ _._._
I a»> SUCH a DQRtff
©it
no
Nikki's Tips for a perfect Skate-a-thon_
#1 Find a worthy cause to skate for-^\
#2 HaveJots of fun by teaming
up with BFFs Chloe and Zoey 'oveSt0°n
#3 Make Sure you can actually skate...
Can Nikki tv-ans-foyr* from a
dork-on-ide to an ide-pvindess?
Turn the page to -find out in
Dork Didries: £kdhr\$ Qensdiion...

SUmAY, DECEMBER I
0M$!
I have never been so EMBARRASSED.»«y
eniire lifef?
And this -bime, ii WASN’T ai -bbe bands o-C my

slobby, lip-gloss-addid-bed enemy, Maddenz.ie..
Hollis-be*-.
Ls-till dan b -figure out wby myvery ownsister,

Bria^na, would bumiliate r*e like ibis.
It all started earlier this a-f-bernooi^, when1no-bided

my bair 'was greasier than a sufersiz-ed order o-C
■Cries. | needed either a sbower or an emerêndy oil
dbanê. I m so MOT lyin$,
I badnt been in tbe sbower more than a minute wben

SOMfcOMfc startedpounding on -bbe bathroom door_
like a maniad- | nervously peeked outo-f ■bbe sbower
and was like, uWhat the- • • ??//*_ _—.
"Hovj mutb longer are you joinj to ‘tiOfj the
bathroom?” Bidanna ycl led, "MW, • ■ ?'”.
Mm" MM" bam"
?|i
"Brianna, s-top ban<yn<} on ibe door!JjbJjbl the
sbov/e^"
“But I tbink I left my doll in there.She and Miss

Penelope were having a pool party and—"
"WfMT?! Sorry, Bv-ianna! I do MOT want to hear

abou-t your poo in the potty”_
"MO! I said 'POOL PARTY'! I need io tome in and

get my doll so I-"
W| CAM'T open ibe door ri(}ht now. 6\0 AWA'/IJ"
“But, Kikki, i 5otta use ibe toilet' Really BAD'”
uJust use ibe one downstairs'1"
“But my doll isn't in ibe bathroom downs-bairs^"
“Sorry, bui you tan i êi your doll ri^ht now/ l/Vaii
until I'm done with my shower/"
Wn-Portunately, one minute laier- -..•._._.._ ..
Ill
NIKKI, OPEN THE DOOR! YOU MVB A
PHONE C.ALLl NIKKI?!
VQ
need -to ope* tbe door so you da* -talk o* tke
pko*e^J
&4M BAM!!'BAM/l____
Did Bria*na tki*k I was stupid or sometkift^LI was

MOT abou-t -to -fall -for tke old ope*-tke-batkroom-
door-bedause-you-kave~a-very-in>porta*t-
te I ef bo*e-da 11 Jhddk_______
"Sure, Bria*na! Jus-t -tell e*> I don t -feel like talking

ri^K-t now”
"Urn, bello. Nikki says sbe does*-t wa*t -to -talk

ri^bt *ow ... I don't know? Hold o*.• • !_
Nikki, tbe person wants -to know when -to dal I_
badk,w .
"Nim?! Tbe person wants to know when—w _
"NEVER!Tel!tr.Ke.Bs.todal!badkNEVER!Andthey
dan DROP DEAD -for all i dare- All I want to do _
ri<jht now is TA^B A £H0WSR/!So, please, Brianna!
Just LBAl/B MB ALONBIH__
wWm, hello- Nikki said -to call Hem back never/ And
drop dead -too/ Uh-huh: And $uess why- • •_?/"___
That's when it o^durred to me that just maybe

someone WAS actually on the telephone- But WHO?
I hardly ever ê-t any telephone tails._
"Because YOU’VB $oi C00T\BS>1 That's why!"
Brianna lathed like a criminally insane clown-_
I was a little worried because that insult sounded

really • ^. tamiliar. She'd said the exact same thin^
to someone just yesterday. But there was no way
that person would £\/ER call MB!
Suddenly Lôt this really sick, panicky feeling

deep inside, and my mouth started screaming,_
'wooooooo!”
%
I ^^bbed d towel and scrambled out of the_
310
shower, soaking wet and dompletely doveredin
soap suds*
"Okay, Briannaj!” | whisper-shouted. il6jl\/E. M£.

THAT. PWONB. HOW!"
But she just studk her tongue out at r*e and

dontinued blabbing on the phone like she was talking
to a lon^rilost -friend from sdhooL_
Nikki kogs tke

batkroomf My mom yells at
ker bedause skes so messy
Awt-wkea -ske^v/akei
in tke morning,
ske loots
supersdary.
But tkat s
bedause ske kas
kairy legsanck
drusty eye-boogers|
I Could NOT believe

Brianna was telling ail
of MY personal business
ike that- How DAUB
she?! "Brianna! Hand over that phone or else, /w
"Say 'preity please witk suâr on top,/w
"Okay/ îve meike pkone, pretty please witk svâr

on iop/w
"NO! Too bad, so sadl” Tkenihai evil liitle_

mMnCkkin siudk ker tongue oui ai me (AGAIN!)_
and dontinued blabbing on ike pkone-_
"Anyway, my friend Miss Penelope sneaked some of

Nikkis nestt perfume- Ske loved kow it smelled even
ikou^k skedoesn't have.anose We sprayed ii on
stuff io make ii smell preity- Like my feet, ike
rubbisk bin in ike âraê and ikai dead squirrel in
Mv-s VVallabanêr s badkyard/”
Hijadkin^ my pkone tails was bad enough- Bui skes

been fumiâtin^ tkin^s wiik my Sassy Saska per-fume
as well?/ I wanted io STRANGLE ker/
"Give *»eikai PHONE, you liitle BRAT!” I kissed-_
Bui ske just said, "Toodles/" and iook off

%
vunninj-.__ ..
VIX
CKasi»$ Brianna wasJZERV dangerous/
GtA6\[ $t one point I slipped and alwost slid ri^ht

down -the stairsand into the kitchen.That would
have been a first-decree ru$ burn forsure/ QUCWl
It wade we fringe just thinking about it/
m
I -finally dovneved Bvianna and was jus-t abou-t -to
iadkle bev, when sbe dvopped -tbe pbone and van
sdveamin$ down ibe ball- “ttelpf Help! Tbe slime moul
in ibe sbowev <yrew avms and le^s and is ivyin^ to
SLIME me! Somebody tail W!”
I pidked up -tbe pbone and ivied io adi doolly

nondbalani, and noi like I was siandin^ ibeve
I- In a baibJLoweL
Z- Dvifpin^ wei jAND
3- Coveved wiib enough

^ soap suds -to wash a
small bevd oi vevy
^ dirty llamas.
I dleaved my -tbvoai and

answeved in my duies-t,
mosi êvky-soundin^
voide ........_......
m . . ■ WtLLO-OQll"
ll*\-
"Nikki? iNbais up! It's me, Brahdoh!"
I Could NOT believe wbai my ears were actually

beavi^. This was dtbe vev-y FIRST -time my cvusK
bad ever called me! I ibou^b-t I was <y>ih$ -to have a
beav-t attack ri^bt there oh tbe spot-
"Hi, Bv-a^doh! Tmjreally sorry.. Thai was my li-ttle

sister. £be makes up -tbe era z-iest stu-Pt Actually”_
"No problem! £o ■ . . | m just Calling to lei you

kftow Jm irivijm^ a -few friends over for my birthday in
January. I was hoping you, Chloe and Zoey would eome”
Thais when I faintedÔkay, ALMOST fainted-_
"Wow! Wm, well/J, flr-i-i-t-Can you bold on for a

minute? There's something I heed to do” _____
"Sure. Do you want me to call you back?"
"Nope- IV11 ohly -take a minute”... ._
I earefuliy Coveved the phone with my_ hand and then

prodeeded -to have a massively severe a-ttadk o lRC£,
also known as . ,.
RQLLBR CQASTBR S'/MMOMBU
(£ wasn £ like Brandon was asking me ov»-t on a daie

orsome-thin^-Iwish/
Anyway, af ier we finished our -tel epkone donversaiion,
I pindked myself v-eally kav-d jus-t -to make sure I
wasn't dreaming. OUCWl! Yep, I was awake/ WK'«eV>
means CttLOE, Z0£/ A<VD i ARE IHVITBV TO_
MANMM!£ PART/ ©W
Espedially donsidering ike fadt tkat jm ike biggest

dork at my sdkool and pretty mudk WfcVBR get
invited -to paries..._._._._._._.
0M41UUST WAV THE /HOST

HORRIBLE THOUGHT , _
After kis donversaiion wiik Brianna, Brandon
probably ikinks I'm some kind of, um . ... ..._
mR'/-LB66,£V ■ . .
32.7
Why would ke want "to kan<} out witkMB?!! — __
Tkereis HO WAV I dan 30 toBrandons party!__
I'm <}oin$ "to dallkimbadk ri^ki now and tellkim I

da n't dome-
DUH// I dompletely forgot/ I STILL need -to finisk

my SHOWER/ So I'll dal I kim afterwards._
And tkenI'm ôin^ to drawl into a very deep koie

and •• DIE of EMBARRASSMENT/_ _
32.0
MGMDAV, DECEMBER 2.
I w» -bo-bally dreading seeing Bv-ar>cioh in sdhool today-
It's hard to believe that just a double days a$o we

were rodkin^ our sdbool's talent show together in
our band. Dorkalidious (also known as Adtually. I'm
Not Really Sure Yet)- Y^s, it's a dra z.y name and a
lon$ story.
He even $ave me lessons on bis dvum set. It seemed

like we were FINALLY bedomin^ <y>od friends-_
But then Briannathe BratRUINED everything?
I'm surprised Brandon even bothered to invite r»e to

his party- 1 bet he only did bedause he feels sorry
for me or something.
I wanted to talk to Chloe and Zoey about all of

this during $ym, but I didn't $et a dhande tot-Mainly
bedause the entire dlass was buz-z-in^ about nabbing
a really dool, FREE T-shirt for this show dalled
Holiday on Ice-
Bui a-Pier our ^ym -Leather pratiitally shattered
my eardrums, all I really waited v/as -Por her to
accidentally SWAt-L-OW that stupid wKis-tle/
Then she made a bi^ announcement- .

uOkay- Listen up, people! We"II be starting our
ide-skating .section next week- 6\radies will be
based on the.skill level eadh student suddessfully
masters. However,as partof out Westdhester
Couivbvy Day holiday tradition, and to encourage
dommunity servide, all eighth-grade students
pav-1idipatin5 in tbe Westdhester Holiday on
Ue dbavity show on Dedember thirty-firstwill
get to pvadtise their routines during dlass and
redeive an automated A. Yes, folks! You beard
that jright^ fILbe giving out As like sweets
to support this great da use. Just let me know
whether you'll be doing the skills testing or the
ide show- Now hustle up to the table and grab a
free Holiday on Ice T-shirt- Then get started
on your warm-up exerdises."
That T-shirt thing did NOT go so well for me- —
By the time I got to the table, all that was left _

was siz.e Mackenzie, of dourse, looked
Like she was ready for the summer Cover of a_
been magaz.ine-
TRENDj IN HER NEW T-SHIRT
_V_—
?-
ME, LOOmt UKEAN U4LV', SHAPELESS BLOB
I was so . . . DISGUSTED ©I
O-P dourse Mad&nz.ie took one look atmy T-shirt
andstarted $ivin$ me unwanted -Pashion advide._
"Nikki, do you want io hear my idea -Por how -to
make your T-shirt stylishly elegant, yet pv-adtidal?"
"No, MadTenz-ie- Adtually, I dont.".._ _
"Ous-fc add three indhes o-P white lade a<rou>r\d_

ike kem, a veil and a bouquet o-P -Plowers, and
you dan use it as a l/V£DDIN£j dress! Tken all
you have to do is ?AY some EREA^l£ttL^ u§ly._
ûy io marry you!”
I dould HOT believe she adiually said ikai ri^ht io

my -Pade like ikai
"Ikanb,JklAdWie!" I said, smiling sweetly-"Bui

y/kere will | -pind a Preakishly u^ly ûy? Oh, I know/
Do YOU kave a twin BROTHER?/"
Only Mad&nz-ie would be STUPID enough io make a

wedding dress oui o-P a -pive-siz-es-ioo-bi^ T-shirt-
Bui that’s bedause her l$_js LOWER ikan an empty
bottle o-P nail polish/
/MCKENZIE’S VERY STUPID IDEAFOR A .
DESIGNER T-SHIRT WEDDING DRESS_
Calling Madêniie a “mean girl” is an understatement-

She’s a GRIZZLY BEAR with a Freneh manidure and
blonde hair extensions,.
Bu-LLm not jealous of ber or anything Like, bow
juvenile would THAT be?
Anyway, I was e*ditedabout skating indlass.Tbe

last time I did it was badk in, like, third $rade,and
it was a lot of fun-
Cbloe said we'd be skating at tbe ide bodkey avena

at WCV Hi5b Sdbool-___
Apparently, tbe Holiday on ke show is a b'13 deal,

and only students in gradesei^bt to twelve dan
partidipate to raise money for tbeir favourite__
dbavity- Tbe show donates ^Z,000 to every dbavity
that a skater, skating pair, or ^roup sponsors._
I/Ve were about to start our exerdises when suddenly
Cbloe $ot tbis draz-y look in bereyes and started

doin^ ja^.2. bands.
uHey, you <y*ys^ djuess wbat I'm thinking"
But I already knew. Lately, sbe's been obsessed with

tbis new book dalled The Ice Princess-
It s about a ^kLand a <juy wbo have been best
friends forever.
SKe s -training to be a world-dass figure skater
IV*
while_tes working towards a spot on the Olympic
hodkey -team,
Just a s th eyVe a b out -to f a II inI o ve,theydisdover

that their ide arena is the sedrethideoutof -the
Deadly Ide \Zambies, half-vampire and half-zombie
beings whose supernatural ide-skatin^ abilities $row
more and move powerful every time they eat a
double badon dkeesebuvêv.____
'There.is no veason why dan t be Ide Prindesses

too/ Just like Cvystal Coldstone/^ Cbloe sighed
dvea mily.„
Personally, I dould think of TWO very <y?od reasons

why we COULDN'T be like Crystal____
First, we haven t been training with a skating

doadh for the past twelve years. Sedond. it was
ôin^ to be really diffidult to slay Deadly Ide
\/ambies on sdhool nights and still $et our homework
done on time.-
7-oey $ot this wistful faraway look in her eyes.

o-P dute! Besides, I’d mudh rather make up a really
too 1 skating routine and $et an A than do boring
skills testingWe'll have a blas-t/ How about it,
Nikki?"
is a really
bi^ responsibility. TbeyVe ôin^ -to be defending on
us -for money toKelp keep theirdoors open- And
what i-P something ôes wron^?"
"Come on, Nikki/" Chloe whined- "WeVe not tôod

enough-to skate individually, and skating pairs require
a <yirl and a ûy^. But tke three o^ us dan skate as a
tyroup-We dant do this without you!”
"Sorry, but youre $oin^ to have to -find someone

else!" I said, shaking my head-
"But we want YOU!” 'Z'oey pleaded-
"Yeah, and..don1-1 -forget! Wewere there -for you

when you needed us for the talent show," Chloe
argued- "BFFs help eadh other!”
Okay, i kave t© admit Ckloe kad a $ood point about tke
talent skow- But it wasn't like I'd promised tkem my
•firstborn dkild in e*dkan$efor tkem sinîn^ badkup.
Tken Ckloe and Zoey skrewdly resorted to a

sopkistidated tadtid tkat effedtively rendered
me kelpless... •_____....._.......
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE

PLEA£E,-PLE-A£EtPLEASEt-PLEASE/!-
BZfflmU!
“Okay, $*ys! I'm lMl But you dant say I didn't warn
you/" j silked-.....................
VVe sealed -the deal with a <yroup. Ku<y
"tjreai!Mowall wehave todois

to skate -for/' Zoey said-._
"Unfortunately, that's $oin$ to be
have been si^nin^ up dharities for a tew weeks

now. £0 weVe êttjjn^ a really late star:L_But
I'm pretty sure we'll -find one," she added
dheerfully-
"OMfi!" Zoey squealed- "This will be just like our old

Ballet of the Zombies days/ Only we'll be êttin^ an
A instead of a D"
Actually, I kind of like that fart too- It is 50 'm^ to

be ^reat to finally êt an A in ^ym (§) /__
Fortunately, ide skating DOESN'T involve

embarrassing armpit stains, fainful stomadh dramfs,
or êttin^ whadked in the head by a balUike..most
of the stuff we are -forded -to do in Wm.
l*rO
And all of ouv- work is 30^3 to be for a really
3reat dause that will help ike dommunity._
But most importantly, HI be making Ckloe and 'ZrQty

superkappy by allowing tkem to live out tkeir dreams.
iVe decided to skate to WDande of tke Suâr Plum

Fairy” sinde it kas a koliday tkeme. And we -figured
b e i n 3 fairy prindesses would be supere*ditin3and...
3lamorous.
Sol 'm not 30^3 to stress out about tkis wkole

Holiday on /de tkin3*__________
As lon3 as I kave my two BFFs by my side,

everytkin3 is 30^3 to work out just fine-___
I mean, kow HARD dan fûre skatin3 be?!
©w-
-ir-*---
IU££DAY,VBCBMBBR1
Today in social siudies we discussed career 50aIs,
Bui since I flan io attend a major university io_

become a pro-fessionai illustrator,| decided -to spend
ibehour writing in my diav-y instead-_
1 -felt itwas ike ri$btibin^ io do sinceieacbevs.

always na$ us siudenis io use our class time wisely._
/V]osi o-f ibe kids bad not $iven much ibou$bt io

ibeir.-futures.......... .
Bui my -friend Tbeodove Swa^mire ill was ioially

obsessing over it.
And it didn i help ibai ibe class snickered when be

shared bis plans -for ibe -fuiure- I -feli a little sorry
•for him. He's one o-f ibe dorkiesi $uys in ibe school.
So, beinQ ibe very kind and supportive-friend ibai I

am, I decided io encourage Tbeo io pursue bis $©aIs
in li-fe::
l\Z
When | told -the dUss what Theo, you should*’t let
sdhool I u/ant to attend, others disdouvage you! Nevev
•they just laughed- give up on youv PREAMS//
7~ "V"
You’ve smavt enough to get Thanks, Nikkif So, do y OU

into any sdhool Y^N want! think ttogwavts will admit a
-Sogotovit!- —like me?-
The 6\00V news is out little ehat made Theo
-feel a lot better ©H^

Ike BADnews is £ka£ke dedidedtostart saving
kisallowance to buy a maîd wand ©! _
Anyway, after dlass was over, Tkeo asked me if I

was planning to dome to Brandons party in January:
! wantedto -tell ike trutk and just say no-_
Bui instead, I made up an exduse- And noi just a

run—o-f—ike—mill -flimsy e*duse- It was a ioially
unbelievable, embarrassingly STUPIP one-_
"I was planning £o dome- Bui I -Pound oui I kad,

urn . , . an appointment £o - - - £ake my sidk - • . urn,
uni dor n ...... jho ike • • • vet, adtually,"_
Tkeo looked superdonfused and sdratdked kis kead-

You kave a unidorn?"
I wanted to say, "Hey, Wiz-ard Boy! I probably $o£

MY unidornfrom ike same plade you're êitin^
YOUR ma<yd wandf” But | didn't-
Tken in biology dlass, my very druddy day turned

into a domplete DISASTER!
HA*
Brandon and | said hi -to eath other, but that was
about it- The entire hour he just kind o-f staved at
me with this pevple*ed look on his -fade,_
He was probably imaînin^me as some kind o-f

CRUSTV'-EY'ED, MRV-LZteZV BEAST/
34-5
Mad&nzje -took -full advantage o£ the situation a^d
would HOT shut up/
| almost PUKED on my lab veport when I heard hev

ask Bvandon if he thoughthev Bevvy-Sweet-'n'-FTivty
lip gloss dolouv matched hev f lawless domple*ion^_
I dould not believe she actually had the newe to ask

him something so vididulously VAIH-__
Espedially when E\/BKYOHB knows Madênz-ies

so-dalled -flawless domple*ion is -(Vom _
U-PAY-MB-SPRAY Tanning Salon at the malt_
That pukey-ovange tan they sprayed on hev is so

tadky- Pe vsonally, J think she looks like a sunbuvned
Malibu Bavbie-
Then MadPenz-ie got all giggly and said, "0h, by

the way, Bâmdor^, I heavd you've having a pavty''_
I was like, 'Yeah, Madden?tie/ And you'll OKU* 1/ be

BEARING about it, bedause you've HOT invited/"
But I just said that inside my head, so no one else
heard it but me-
I was shocked by what that 31 vl did next^
She ivied to HyTWTIZE Brand on into inviting hev*

to his party by -flirting with him and twirling her hair
AROUND and AROUND and AROUND her -Pinker.
Thank goodness our teadher interrupted her,_
U/Vladênz.ie, if you have tiyne to dhitdhat in dlass,_

please 30 to the badk of the room and dlean out all
of the rat daês. Otherwise, PLTASE- SIT. DOWN!"
Mad&nz-ie pradtidally RAN badk to her seat-
But DOW shes 3'ivin3 /W£ the E\/|L. £/£ f rom adross
the room like it was M/ -fault she almost $ot studk
doin^ rat-poop duty-
W\
-Ceelm^JL._
I pla*to-tell Kim tomorrowthat I camt make it to

Kis party because!Kave another activity planned for
that exact same time-_
WttjATwill Ibedioir>3? _'_

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER Ar
This morning I was feeling kind of down-_
Even Chloe and Z-oey noticed and asked me if I was

okay- But I decided MOT to tell them about my
meâ-embav-rass'm^ phoneConversation with Bvandoh-
Especially after they went on and on about bow
EXCITED they were about bis party,_
0y\ my way to lundb L decided to stop by my locker

and drop ©ff my backpack,
I was beyond surprised when I opened my locker door

and a MOTB fell out!
At first I thought it was from Cbloe and Z-oey and

they were trying to cbeer me up or something_
ButthenIreadit-Like,THREETIMES!
0M£j! I thought I was ôin^

ri^bt there in front of my locker, ,.
350
IHad ho idea wbat Brando* wanted to talk to me
about-
My heart was pounding as | peeked inside the

newspaper room. I immediately reeo^sed bis sha$gy
hair behind a domputer monitor
"Nikki/”Brandonsmiled,waved,andgestured-forme
to dome over-
Like idio-t, J looked behind me {,c
y/aWLJtalkir)^ "to some okbev, um . . . Nikki.
HI, BRANDON. DID YOU

WANT TO TALK TO MB
ABOUT SOMZWN#
"YeaH. ^dtually, I dow THats wHen I no-tided
Brandon looked a littlenervous -too.
êW ttfcRfc I AMl". I blurted out all dHeerlul-like

and louder -than | meant -to._
"0kay, uma I -talked -to THeo yesterday, and He said

you dan-t dome to my party/*
6\UL?!
Brandon talked to . . . TMEO?/
orti cruv!
I just kept Smiling stupidly as Brandon dontinued- "He

said something about you Having to take dare o£ a,
urn, sidk unidorn?**
Just greatf MW Brandon was 301 n$ to tHink I am

a drusty-eyed, Hairy-legged, SCHIZOPHRENIC_
"Really? THeo told you tHat?w 1 blinked my eyes all
1*1
innodenklikeandlacked nervously. wTbak -
<\uikekilarioM, adkually.Ibeos90k a bi^ imagination,
Jusk like myliktle sisker- £be s as duke a bukton, buk
you dank believe a word sbe saysj£spedially ik ik's
akoujL...• M£["
uYeak, kell me abouk it" Brandon iau^bed- w|wish I

bad a dollar kotevery time Brianna kold me I have
dookies^ Suddenly be stared ak me so intenseLyJt_
made me s«uirm. "Nikki, you didn k seriously tbink
I aekually believed any ok kbak.stuff Brianna said
abouk you, did you?"
H0M6f! Ok dourse not Like, bow immakure

would THAT be?" I 3159!ed nervously. UAdkuaIly,
Cbloe, Zoey and I dank WAIT ko dome ko your
parky"
Brandon broke inko a b'19 yin., wCool? V°u bad me

worriedkb eretoraminuke" ..
w£o, wbak are you working on ri^bk now?" | asked,

trying ko dbany kbe kopid-
I leaned over and peeked at his domputer sdreen-
I saw snapshots o-f -the dutest puppy and kitten._
"AWWWl”. I pushed "They're ADORABLfc!”
"Those "two are -from the Fuz.z.y Friends Animal

Resdue Centre- These pid-tures ave $ojn$ to tun in..
•the Wesithesier Herald next week/'__
ulVowf Impressive- Poes the animal den-tve pay you -to

do that?"
"Nope- I $uess you dould say I volunteer my dbimeJ._

wan-t -to be a veterinarian one day, so I veally enjoy
working with anim als. Even Though photographing
■them dan be pre-tty dhallenîn^-".. ....
"VVelL I -think it'sy-eat that you take the, time ._to_...

help out- Sounds like -fun/"
"It is. tieyl Why don't you dome volunteer with me on

Friday? I dould use your help"
"Okayf Thai would be VBRY tool!”
meaCrookedsmile.
I suddenly £ehb very nervous, îddy, and • . . nauseous.
Tha-L's whenhe kind of scared at »e and I stared

back a£ Kim.
Then we both sailed and blushed.
All o-f ibis staring, smiling and blushing seemed "to 30

on, like, BORBVBR! ..
Brandon and I spent the rest o-f the lundh hour just
banîn^ out and talking about the animal shelter^_
He said it was run by a really nide semi-re-tired

douple wbo used io own a pet shop. _
Then be -took some photos out o-f bis badkpadk and

showed me all -tbe animals that bad already been
plated in homes.
So, not only is Brandon a supev-talented
photographer, but be has a really Bl£j heart too-
And <}et this| We went to my lodker to pidk up my

books, and then we walked to bio together/___
i*n
SQUBtt!!!
Maddenz.ie kept ^larin^ at me and wkisperin<^ "to___

Jessida tke entire kour, but I just ignored ker-_
Okay, I admit.'dL. I was wron<^ about tke wkole pity—

invitationtkin^ and Brandon not wanting to kan^
out witk.me-
IV actually looking -forward to $oin$ to kis party.
And on Friday were 50'm^ to kave a BLAST

volunteering at Fuz.z.y Friends!!
Eat youv- heav-t out, Maênz-ie!!

TUURSDM DECEMBER 5
During ouv library Hour today CHloe and Z-oey were

busy making telefHone dalls trying to find a dHarity
■for tHe Holiday on /de sHoWr_
CHloe dalled nine plades and Z-oey dalled seven, but

no ludk-
THe deadline for entering is ne*t week, and were

not even CLOSE to finding a dHarity._
But tHeres even MORB bad news/
I just found out today tHat /Vladênz-ie is also

flannin^ to partidipate in tHe Holiday on fee show ®U
tVHy am i NOT surprised?!
Probably bedause sHe really IS a doldHearted Ide

Ptindess! Okay, so maybe tHat nasty little domment
ISN’T «\uite truer
^J^£SM!lA&jLQne!!
MACKENZIE AS A HEARTLESS ICE PRINCESS
WKile I was at >»y looker, | overkeard MadKenzie_

brajg'mj to some CCPs (Cute, Cool & Popular kids)
IkO
ibai sbe^ been -taking -fiûve-skaim^ lessons si»de^
sbe was seven years old and plans -to skate -to music
lirom £w<3n Lake,
Bui ibis is ibe dra z.y pairi. Sbe said sbe bas Fll/B_
dbariiies be\r io skaie -for ibem-_
Can you believe.TiMT?/ We rehaving irouble-Pindin^

jusi one,;
jAlibou^b; now ibai I ibink aboui ii, sbe was _ _ _

probably jusi saying all ibai siu-f-f io impress
everyone-
/Vladênz.ie is SUCH a paiboloîdal liarf And a major

DRAMA QUtttL_
I knowji s supposed io be -for a $ood dause-Bui

|;m siav-iin^ io <êi a really BAD -feeling aboui ibis
Holiday on jte ibin^_

FRIDM DECEMBER h
I Could bardly wait for school to be over,_

Every class jus-t seeded to drag on and on
and.. ©n-_Af ter tbe -final bell rang, I rusbed to
waiting -for me.
"Ready to go?" be said, smiling
"Vef! £b, wait! I have a present -for you -from

Brianna," I said, digging into my backpack-_
Brandon pretended to be frigb t ened- "B ria n na?!

I don't know if I want it/’ be teased- "Sbe says |
have Cooties. | dont tbink sbelikes me”_
Sbe does, Weil .••actually, sbe doesn't!” I giggled-

"But sbe wanted you to have this."_
I banded Brandon about two metres of red satin_

ribbon, and be looked a little Con-fused. Then be
playfully tied it around bis bead-
“OoflkLJkstiKe look I was goin<j -for/” he joked-
“Tell Brianna I plan to wear it every
BRANDON, TOTALLY CRACKIN$ ME UP W’lTtt

_ttlS WICTED SENSE OF HUMOUR_
I lacked really hard- “It'snot for you, silly. Iks
forIke animals. Briannasaid if we lie bows around
theirnedks,Ikey'll look like presents-And sinde
everyone loves a present, they'll find new homes
really fast"
“The kid's a genius! WKy didn't I think of that?"
i was a nervous wredk as we walked Ike -Pour blodks

•to -the Fuz.z.y Friends building. Bui Brandon kept me
lau^hin^ -the entire -time-__
Three new puppies had dome in, and eadh one

needed to be photographed-
They were absolutely adorable and playfully nibbled

on my finders
I dut the ribbon into three piedes and tied them

around their nedks-..............
"Have a seat on the ru$ and hold the first puppy in

your lap," Brandon instrudted-T'You'r sweater will be
the perfedt badk$round for a dlose-up."
We finished up in about -fov-ty—five minutes, and
Brandon pladed the last puppy badk in tbe da^
I was a little sad when I went over to say goodbye to

them. I especially liked tbe smallest one,.whidk had a
little circle around one eye- tte barked and wagged
bis tail at me as if to say, "Please, don't So/”
But it -felt really 3©odknowing I was doin^

something to help them all (mi a new borne-
I was just about to leave when tbe smallest puppy

pressed bis nose against tbe Caê door and it swun$
open-
"REY?" I said, surprised- "How did you—"
But before I dould finish my sentence, be quickly

jumped into my lap, knodkin^ me off balande-_
Tbe other two puppies sdampered dlose behind and

pounded-.
KW^0h\ I yelled as | fell over badkwards on tbe floor-

wBta»d on| Help! The puppies got loose!” I giggled as
•they -Lidded my nedk and dhin.___
But that guy was no help WHATSOEVER-_
Not only was he LAU£jHIN£jat me, he just stood

there taking pidtures,___
His damera sounded like he was at a photo shoot

-for .Fashion Week or something. Chidk-koo. Chidk-koo.
Chidk-koo- Chidk-koo-
"My bad!” he said, grinning. "I guess | dlosed the

dage but didn't latdh it- Smile and say 'CHEESE!'”
"Brandon! |'m going to .... . KILL you!” I laughed as

I tried unsuddesstully to herd the wiggly puppies badk
into the dage-
We -finished up and walked badk to sdhool- Then J_

dalled my mom to dome pidk rne up.
While we were waiting, Brandon made a very spedial

thank-you dard -for Brianna, •.•_ _ ___ _ -._
Those little pupslooked S0 SWEET in that photo!
I just knew Brianna was ôin^ to L0\/Eit!_
Andthat ted ribbon was perfect..! Couldn't decide

who wore it better, Brandon or the puppies,_
Then Brandon totally surprised me and printed some

o-f the snapshots he'd taken during the £jREAT
puppy escape, ,,_... ..;.__.
v>1
I douldnt believe | bad ad
fallen over like dbKa^t- __
0M6jl VVbat if Brandon now tbinkl'm just a bifr

dlumsy..... OX?1 Or even worse, a bi$* dlumsy . . .
ttAIRY-L£$$£V' CRU£TY-BYBD • ; ,q*?!_
Okay, I really need -to -take a CHILL PILL and stop

worryingabout wbatbe thinksof me._
Hanîn^ out with Brandon at Fuz.z.y Friends wasn't

like a real date or anything__
But I have to admit, I bad thebest time fcVfcR!
<2,1 « : -- — ——-
_SATURDAY DECEMBER 1 _
It's hard to believe that tbe holidays are r'^ht

around the dormer,
tAon\ and I spent most o-P the morning dedoratin^

our -fake Christmas tret
Dad and Brianna were busy outside working on y/hat

they dalled a Usuper-duper sedret projedt''__
Dad said theiv bi^ surprise was tôin^ to-
1- Spread holiday dheer.___
2- Be a sourde o-f <yreat pride -for our -family AMD
3- Dv-astidally INCREASE. our household indorse.._
But I was hoping he'd surprise us with something

more pradtidal
Like a NEW JOB!

One tkat does MOT involve kim;
at MY school.
2~ Driving a drazy-lookin^ van wi
3 Eêmmati n 3 bugs
>-
Damaîn^ my already very
Finally, Dad and Brianna (tailed us outsideJL© see

tkeir surprise.
I bad a really BAD -feeling abo

even be-fore I actually saw wbat
/Mostly because Dad and Brianna Kave
Id? of a TOOTHBRUSH-
And I was Jd
I took one look at tkeir monstrosity and totally

vn
I was like, WHATis THAT?/
Riding around inDad's van with that buê bu$ dan

be a pretty TRAUMATIC e*periende._
But undoingtbe psydbologidaI da m age from Santa_

Roadb, -tbe Red-Nosed Christmas Tree is going -to
take years and years of in-tensive therapy._
i stared at Dad and Brianna in disbeliefs"Please!

Tell me ibis is ail just a big PRAN^?!"
TKat's when Brianna got this superserious look

on ber fade and started speaking in this low,
spooky voide-._ _._..._ ___
"Nikki, you better be dareful! Bedause on Christmas

Eve, Santa Roadb rises out of tbe pumpkin patdb and
gives out sweets and toys to all of tbe 500d Jittle_
girls and boys! And be squirts bug spray into tbe
eyes of all tbe BAD kids."
Wbidb, by tbe way, is tbe MOST RIDICULOUS thing

I've ever beard!!
Brianna musi ibink |m an IDIOT/f | know ber liitle
s-tovy is jusi a rip-o-f-f o-f anoiber well-known legend-
Bui jusi in dase any o-f ibai sju-ff sbe said aboui
ibe bu$ spray is -true, I'm ôin^ -to siari sleeping _
wiib my sunglasses on.
Anyway, ibis weekend 1 was seriously planning io

dome dlean and iell CKloe and Z°ey aboui my
WCD sdbolav-sbip and rny dad bein$ ibe Sdbool
e*ievminaior and alL
| m jusi £0 sidk oi all ibe dedepiion and lies...
LbaiLno doubi WWATSQfcVfcR jbai Cbloe and Zoey

v/ere my TRUE -friends and would addepi me -for
wbo I really arm
Bui ibai was BEFflRE Sania Roaeb became a pari

of my £mm’ -family//
Tbercs jusi MO WAY I "bell my BFFs now/
SUNDAY', DECEMBER «
I was really surprised when I $ot..up this morning

andlookedout the window. We had a v-eally bi$
snowstormla-telastni^ktand$ot,like,-fifteen
dentimetres o-f snow-_ _
Aly dad usually hates bi$ snows. But today he was

supere*ditedto $o outside to dlear the driveway._
Earlier in the year he bought this rusty old snowblower

at a âraê sale
Dad is always buying dangerous piedes o-f junk -from

âraê sales. HI never -forget the time he took us_
out on the lake in an old danoe with no paddles,_
l-f we hadn t been resdued by that doast ûard
helidopter, we probably would have drowned-
Dad insisted that ke ôt a real bargain bedause a

brand-new snowblower dosts around $?>QO and he
paid only $2-0 -for his, . ..
Well, now we all know why his snowblower was so

<tVieap, XKe snow-dhute thinly was rusted and
permanently stwdk in one position- -
>, TRYING to clear our, driveway' with

_tflS BROKSN SNOWBLOWER _ _ _
That busted snowb I ower kept blowingsnow ri<jht
back onto thearea Dad bad just cleared- He_
Couldn't-figure out what be was dom^ wvob^._
Poor Dad was out iB tbe snow trying to clear tbe
parts -froz-e solid,
I actually -felt sorry for him. And Mom did too,

because shewent ri^bt online andordered Dad a
bra nd-new snowblower,
Tbe bad news is that our driveway STILL needs to

be du$ out
I explained to Mom | was willing to make a buê

personal sacrifice and stay borne -from school -for
tbe ne*t week or two until tbe new snowblower
arrives,....._._...
But sbe just banded me a snow shovel and told me i-P

I started shovelling ri^bt now, I'd have the driveway
cleared out so I Could 50 to school tomorrow morning,
11G
Mom obviously had no appvediabion -for -the
-bremendous sadn-fide I was willing bo make-
M0NDM DECEMBER 1
Today in Ln^lisb, our teadber reminded us -that

ouv- Moby-V'itk report is due in nine days. We,were
supposed to start reading He novel back in Odtober,
but I've been very busy with other stuff,_
It's about a bumonôus wbale and this dvusty old

sailor wbobas a purse and a really bad attitude- I'm
so NOT lyin^
Like most people, I assumed that Moby Didk was tbe

daptain's name or something- But it was adtually tbe
whale'sname- Like, WHO in tbeiv- ri^bt mind would
name a whale Moby Didk?! __
Our report is supposed to be about why tbe daptain

and tbe whale were mortal enemies- But to save
time, I'm thinking about just skipping tbe book and
writing tbe paper,__
Bey, you don't have to be a literary sdbolar (or read

tbe book) to know WBy that wbale was probably
trying to kill that 3uy^__,__
TRI£N£Ly; too! MMT SHOULD 1 NME HIM?
SttMlM? MILLIE?"
my mom Kadi named /VI£ Aloby Pidk, [ would
Have been massively iidked o-f-f abou*t i-t -too-
I ~bbink dusjy old dassids like "these should dome v/i'tb

a s-tidkev- on -the dovev -thai says;_
R£AVIH6j THIS CAN BE

HAZARDOUS TO YOUR WEALTH'
kV.HY?! Because Aloby-Pi^k was so ridiculously_
?>0RlN6\f I adaden-fcally fell asleep, smacked my Head
on r*y desk and davn near oph a temtHssiorJL
ns bi<^ J>u\rplisb__ bruise ri^lvt in ike
middle of my forebeacL
And I'd only $o-b io ibe SECOND senbende^
As an additional. predaution, 1 think students shouldl

be required to wear protedtive head$ear while_
reading books like Moby-Vitk-
Tomorrow |*m $oin$ to wear my bike helmed to dlass

to protedt against further bead injuries_
BIKE HELMET
Even though I was bummed about that paper bein^
due next week, I was really looking -forward to
seeing Brandom today._
I wanted to tell him.what a

hanîn^ out at Fuz.zy Friends. And that I thought
But unfortunately, I didn't, see Kir* at lundh and

be wasnt in bio.
It was tbe weirdest doindidende that while I was in_

the girls' toilets, | overheard Jessidaand Madênz-ie
ôssipin^ about Brandon-
Jessida saidhe had been dal led down to the of fide

during first period and he*d left sdhool for an
important family matter. Well, that explained
everything
And $et this/ Madênz-ie said its rumoured

that Brandons dad is a wealthy U S. diplomat
at the Frendh embassy and his mom is Ftendh_
r oya Ity
Apparently, his -family lived in Paris -for -ten years, but
he never -talks aboutji because he probably wants to
keep the fact that he s a prinde or something a bi$
on is -fluent in Frendh-
Then Madfonz-ie told Jessida that sinde shes an

of fide assistant, she should dhedk Brandons sdhool
records to see if all those rumours are true-_
But Jessida said she doesn't have addess to Certain

information bedause it's kept on a special Computer
in the principal's of fide-_
I was both shodked and appalled that those $irls

were actually talking about snooping in highly
It wasn t like I was eavesdroppin3 on theit very

private Conversation or anything j was in that
toilet dubidle totally minding my own business..
I just happened to feel like climbing up on the toilet
top. To $et, you know, some fresh air!
307
*- M£
MACKENZIE AND JESSICA, 4DSSIPIN4

about brandon
380
I jusi hope everything is okay with Brandon- j\n_
guesslhgJue probably had a dentist appointment or_
Something
Jessida and Ma6&nz.ie are aIways stiekin^ their_

nosesJn otter people's business'
TKey are so PATHETIC!_
Bui what i-f Brandon RBALL-Y IS secretly a prinde

or someihin^?^ He |S in Honours Frendhl
0M4W QQUtZBBBH
I'm kind of in SHOCK ri^ht now Jo)]!-
Brandon justleft my lodker about thirty minutes_

aô- j Could tell ri^ht away that something was
really bothering Kim-
He âve me the rest of tKe photoshe'd taken of me

during tKe dijreat Pu1
helping Kirn-
But whenI mentioned how mudh fun I'd Kad and

tKat I wanted to volunteer on a regular basis, Ke
just looked really sad and stared at tKe floor,
Brandon explained tKat he'd just Kad some very

bad news from Philand Betty Smith, tKe owners
of Fuz-zy Friends.; PKil broke his le$ and is ôin^
hospital in tradtion for tKe next two
m o ntKS ■
Unfortunately, there is no way Betty dan keep the

shelter open without Kis Kelp-
BRAHDOU TELLS ME .THE..SAD. MEWS
ABOUT FUZZY FRIENDS
??l
As soon as Betty finds aplate that will attept the
ei^Kteen ta-ts and do$s in her shelter, she plans to
sell *tKe building to the flower shop ne*t door._
tomorrow, he plans to spend every day after sthool

helping to tare for tbe animals until they all <yet
transferred or plated in new homes.
I feel really bad for him. Mainly betause I know bow

muth be loves that plate,
I mentioned all of this to Cbloe and Zoey in ^ym

tlassj and we bad a deep distussion during sit-ups
aboutbowwetouldpossiblyhelp- _ _
That's when | tame up with tbe brilliant idea of

Cbloe, Z-oey and me skating in the Holidsy on Ice
show to raise money for Fuz.z.yFriends^
Of tourse my BFFs were superhappy about us

FIMALLY finding a tharity. They also said it's the
perfett opportunity for /V)F to show Brandon what
a $ood friend I am, Then Zoey said •
Nim JUST REMEMBER/ a true
FRIEND IS S0/WE0NE WH0 THINGS
YOU'RE SLIGHTLY CRACKED!
I jusi kind o-f smiled ai Z-oey and nodded- _ __
Bui -to be Konesi, I didn i have ibesli^Kiesi idea

MMT she was ialkin$ abouj/ Her dommeni bad_
NOTHING whatsoever to do with ANYTHING we —
were discussing
Zoeyis supersmart and I love Key* -to death, Bui_

sometimes[wonder where she $ets all of that
Cov-nbal! stuff,
Anyway, I agreed to discuss the Holiday on Ice idea

withBvandon-.Weneed a charity io skate for, and
Fuz^y Friends needs the moneyjjo kite a part-timi
worker io replace Phil while hes recovering-
Zoey d id th e maths and calculated that ike_

$3,OOO donation from Holiday or\ Ice would
probably be enough to pay a worker tor about
two months-
I just hope Brandon thinks all of this is a 500didea,
I didn t want to mention it to Chloe and Zoey, but

|m really worried we mi^ht have a little Competition
for Fuz.z.y Friends from someone else-...
.v-.....
While Brandon was talking to me at my locket, I

douldni Keif bub nobide /Vlad&nz.ie slinking a\round;
prebending -to be pubting on lip gloss,..
PUtt-L££Zfci Sbe dould have pub on bwenby-_

seven layers of lip gloss during -tbe -time sbe was
eavesdropping on our very private donversabion..
Tba-t 5»rl is a SWAKfc and will s-top a-t nobbing "to

geb wbab sbe wanbs:
Ljus-t hope sbe already bas a dbari-ty, like sbe bas

been bragging -to ber CCP -friends.
Bedause if sbe DOBSN’T. . . ?/
Things are going -to geb really U6fL>/l

WEDNESDAY', DECEMBER II
Ri^ht nowIV so MADat

just . . . SPIT//
My suspidions were dorredt! Addordin^ to the gossip

av-ouhd sdhool, MadKenz.ie is skating -for Fuz^.y
Friends!.....
'/ESfFUZZY' FRIENDS/// j.was like,NC!f WAY'!/
I dan t believe Madênz-ie is adtually trying to steal

yrom v-i^ht under my nose like this. /
vows it. But
IV not ôin^ down without a fi$ht!
When | saw her at her lodker just now, she had

the nerve to adt all sweet and innodent. She even
domplimented my new sweater- tond of._
She was all like, wNikki! What a CUTE sweater! Its

thePERFECTlookiFora
Thai 3'nrl is a fchariiy-siealm$ BAC^STiABBTR^
1 finally -bracked Brandon down in ihe newspaper

o-C all ihe_
animals ai Ftmy Friends and waHiusyAypin^j^p,
desdtipiions,____
He explained -that Betty is doubling her efforts to
try to $et all of her animals adopted before the
shelter dloses at tbe end of tbe month-_ _
I e*dlain»edL.w£o .soon?!”
I.wanted to tell him about our plan to try to earn

money for the shelter through tbe Holiday on Ue
show-
But Brandon looked so down in tbe dumps. Tbe last

thin$ I wanted to do was set him up for another b'13
disappointment-
Running that shelter was probably a lot of work-

And it was very possible Betty just wanted to
sell tbe building, dolledt tbe dash, retire to sunny
Florida and play binô every day for the rest of
her.life-......
If she turned down our offer to help keep tbe

skelter open, Brandon would just be more miserable
than ever I felt £0 sorry for him-_v__
tjs^tkjereîhytkmcy L daj\ do to kelp?” | asked-
Brani on looked up at me, and kis fade immediately

bri^kte h e d,
"Yed.k, you dan put tkese pkotos in order based

on tke ad numbers. Tkanks/ And ho matter wkat
happens, | just want you to know that I'll never
forget you. . ” He nervously bvusked Kis fringe out
of kis eyes and dontinued awkwardlyLtfielpin^ me
with all of this stuff, I mean”_
I was a little surprised ke was so . . . serious.

I tried to lighten the mood- uttey, that s what
friends are for. Even though ÔU 6\0T COOTIBS,
DUD£l”
l/Ve both lau^ked really kard at my wadky impression

of Brianna- Tken we hotk kind of blusked and smiled
at eadk other- All of this lau^hin^, blushing and
Smiling went on, .like, FORBVBIL..
Or at least, until we were RUDBL-Y interrupted

announced as sKe sasbayedi
»
LndbfiL “bke room*-^tiere {. Bmj
Then she dropped her Prada

of pit-tunes I was sorting for Brandon
BRdNDPN AND MS. $£TTIN$ RUDEt-V
INTERRUPTED
+00
I rolled my eyes at ...jV)a.£&nz.i.e while Brandon looked
suferannoyed-.._...,.
Then she 3ave Kirw a bi^ -fat phoneysmile- "Brandon,

I just bad ike most brilliant idea. YouVe ôin^ -to be
so thankfuL to me- Bu-t I need totalktoyou about
it ALONM” she said in a breathyvoice while baiting
her eyes hKe someone had "throw*> a -risl-rul 0+ sand
in ber -fate or something.
0M6\I Waiebin^ that fori shamele:ssly -flirt with ......

Brandon like ibai was £0 discus-Linfoi actually threw
up in my moutb a little-_ ........
Suddenly /Vlaeênz-ie looked at me and sdrundbed

up ber nose like sbe smelled a -fun ky -foot odour.__
"Nikki, what are you doin^ in here? Don t you
know ibis room is -for experiended journalists
oniyv.
"iVhat / want to know is, Wlty^ are YOU dressed like
a tadky -flight attendant?” 1 respo nded- "Are yoiA

here to write or to band out peam
MAC^BNZIS ASa TAC^y FLIGHT ATTENDANT
"PEANUTS FOR you. AND PEANUTS FOR YOU.

EUERVONE 4ETS SOME PEANUTS//"
Bvandon sr>ickev-cdi but quickly dpvevcdi it v/itb a

fake dov^k.
A-oz
Heyf SHF siav-ied ike -fashion driiiûes wiik kev
do^gie-sweaier dommeni- 1 jusi -finished ii.
Mackenzie Je£ oj/dLa Ki^K-fiidkedl Ltagiulike ike was

m on ike joke- Bui ker eyes were skooiin^ daggers
ai me-
"So, wkai are you working on ioday?”ske asked

Brandon, peering over kis skoulder.Tken ske pidked
up a fkoio o-f a puppy,
"OMdj! I L0\/F puppies. Are ikey -from ikai plade

dal led Fuz-zy Friends? | heav-d i’hey av-e dlosing down,
I jusi hope ikose poor dreaiuves won'i be pui io
sleep, Thai'd be AWfUU Hey, I kave a greai idea!
Maybe I dould help oui by ska—w .
Brandon s jaw iigkiened as ke griited kis ieeik-_

"Adiually, Madênz.ie, Nikki and I are working o* a
veally imporiani pvojedi- l/Vere kind o-f busy vigki
now- So if you don i mind, urn- • He dougked a5ain-
Mad&jnzAe de-finiiely goi ike kini-
\Ol
"Oh> Well ... I didn't mean to interrupt anything.
I just stopped by to $et my, um. . /' Sbe looked
around tbe room -frantically until sbe spotted
somethingon tKe floor.
&p,.it's. vi^Kt here-_^

Iaccidentally
dropped it on tbe
■floor yesterday,
and I'vebeen
ever'
goodness | -found it/”
U|>
I mreallybappy
Maênz-ie,” I sai
sarcastically-_
"Well, I ûess I'll just talk to you later, Brandon-

When you're not so- - -" Sbe shot me an evil
LG\oodbye/''
Sbe plastered a -fake smile across ber -fade, winked

dt Brandon and sashayed out o£ the room. I just
HiATE it when Maddenz.ie sashays.
It was «\uite obvious she had dome to talk to

Braj^jo»L_about^g|în^ Friends. And then
she created all ©-P that drama over a lost paper clip.
How totally JUVfcWILt was that?!
Chloej Z-oey and I are planning to stop by the

shelter on Saturday to talk to Betty, the owner.
I just hope we $et to her be-fore Mackenzie.
does. I think Mackenzie.is also CRAZY jealous
that Brandon and I have been spending more time
together lately,
But îrltr-end needs to:
I- Cry a rivet
Z. Build a bridge AND
l. <$£T OVBR lll!

THURSDAY DBCBMBBR II
Thai ismeSCREAMING
IVHV'? I HATE -taking those si%-hour standardised _

-tes-ts for maths,sdiende and readin$ do r* pr eh e r\ si on |
You know, "the one where your normally nide and

friendly teadher suddenly -turns into a
/WA)<!MUM-SECUR!Ty PRIS0N 4WARD and
mardhes around -the room slafpin^ -the -tes-t_
booklet on your desk_
*cot>
The*, at the beînnin^ of the test, she dlidks this
little stopwatch and yells. . .
And at the end of the test, she dlidks the little

stopwatch aâin and yells. . .
“PLEASE STOP ■ ■ ■ NOW1’’
Then she says, "Put V0\HH youv pendilf Vo HOT

turn the paê. Put your RANDS above your RTAD-
You have the ri^ht to remain silent. Anything you
say da* and will be used against you. You have the
ri$ht to a lawyer., , /*
0M6j! it’s enough to sdare the snot ri^ht out

of yoJ Ho wonder students perform so poorly
on these tests. But the worst part is that they
dompare your test sdores with the sdores of kids
jjn your state and adross the nation- This makes
Y'QU look really BAD bedause the kids from those
faraway sdhools are never as STUPID as the kids in
your {WN sdhooR
\Ol
chicken po*, there is no way you tan beat the test
stores •from those other schools-
Especially when you sit next to a seventeen-year-old

ûy whos STILL in e'^hth 3rade and STILL eats_
boo9ersi
So, under the eireumstanees, WH/ would you even

TRY -to do well on "tbe test when you already know
you r store is 301*9 to be LOUS'/? I * just sayin 1
That'swKy I'dlike bo see a CONNECT-THE-DflTS

standardised best. Each student -fills in those little
answer si
is based on bow CUTB and
picture is.
This type of testin9 would be more FAIR and, most

important, a lot EASIER ©/ _ _
I Can'twait to store in tbe top 1% o-f tbe nation

with all those smarty-pants AND earn an academic
scholarship to Harvard University.
Aroe
All because o£
butterfly' bliss in #x pencil
IVIKIcl mwtra gffi_n,. Dec. II™
Am I net killiani”!©!!_
w
FRIDAY, DECEMBER 13
I’m so upset rtyht now I dan barely write!
I ve been in my room drying -(-or tbe past two hours.
And i still don t have tbe slightest idea wbat IW

30^3 to do about tbe situation-
After we dropped off Brianna at ber ballet dlass at

5:00 p •m., my mom dedided to buy some poinsettias
and holiday dentrepiedes -Cor our house^
She adtually dhose the •(•lower shop ri^ht ne*t to

FUZZ/ FRIENDS//
It was an amaz-in^ doindidende bedause Chloe, Zoey

and I were planning to 30 there tomorrow-_
Mom told me she’d be in tbe Slower shop about

fifteen minutes and she’d meet me badk at tbe dar.
So I rushed over to Fuz.z.yFriends and prayed that.
Betty would be in tbe offide-
Jusi inside tbe front door I saw a stadk of empty
moving boy.es and my heart sank,
It looked like I was already too late!
1 peeked inside a well-lit of fide and saw an older
lady taking pictures off tbe walls.
"Excuse me! Av-e you Betty?" I asked-
uyis, I am, dear, Come ri^bt in, This is tbe perfedt

time to adopt one of our pets, because were
tôin^ to be dosing our doors really soon. Are
you interested in a do^ or dat?" £be picked up a
dipboard and $ave me a bi^ smile- . . . _. _
I immediately liked ber-
And now | understand wby Brandon likes ber so

mudb too-....
Til need you to fill out a few forms. But tbe $ood
news is that tberes no dbarê at all?"
Ml
"A&tually, IV not hereto adopts a.pet- Although —
they're <\uite adorable- I was here last week as a
student volunteer- And now I'm wondering if we
dould represent Fuz.z.y Friends in a sdhool-related
dommunity servide projedt?''
Betty motioned for me to sit down- _ _
uVVelL first of all, tbank you for volunteering” she

said- "it's the wonderful and daring feofle like you
who Kave allowed us to plademore tban two hundred
animals so far this year- But unfortunately, a few
days a50 my husband fell off a ladder while fainting
jo flades. There's
just no way we dan dontinue to stay open”
I didn't waste any time and immediately explained

the Holiday on Ice programme and how the money we
earned dould be used to helf keef the dentre ofen
for a few months. Hopefully, until her husband fully
redovered
Betty bedame overwhelmed with emotion and

suddenly burst into tears. . ...
Nim you MUST BE my GUARDIAN AH^BU
| wasn't the least bit surprisedtoJkeat what she

said next
11 You know what?J K ow that f think about it, I $ot
a telephone message yesterday -from a youn$ lady

about Holiday on Ice-. But I assumed she was selling
tickets. | think her name was Madison- Or was it
Mikaya—"
'mcmizmi
'Yes! That’s it, Alaeênz-ief Jiow did you know?"
“flhjOus-t a !udky ûess"
"Well Nikki/ Tell me how I ean si^n up Fuz.z.y Friends

as a Holiday on Ice charity! I’m 'really looking -forward
ho seeir>3 you and your -friends skate"
Our meeting went even better than I Could have

imagined,
She $ave me her business card with her borne

telephone number and even the hospital number so I
Could reach her pretty much 2-4~-7.
wNikki, you have no idea how much this means to

me, my husband and especially our grandson,” Betty
pushed- "Poor little $uy! He's already been through
so much, losing his parents a -few years a$o. $nd
now.we were 501 n^ to have to uproot him and
move to a new state in the middle o-f the year.
I was dreading having to break the news to him.
w-
but -thanks -to you, I won-t have to. He s ou-t badk
e*ereising the dogs- All I dan say is thank you,
thank you!" Then she hugged me so hard, I dould
barely breathe-
"Thank You! For agreeing to be our dharity and

allowing us to skate -for you," I said, tearing up a
little, mysel-f. uVYeMI try to make Fuz^y Friends
proud!"
As I le-ft the shelter I notided a tall -fende that.

surrounded the entire property.
I heard what sounded like a padk o-f dogs barking

e*ditedly and douldn t help but sneak a peek .
I saw a boy running around with what appeared to

be eight dogs o-f assorted sites, dolours and breeds,
indluding the three puppies._ ___ _.
Even though his. badk was to me, 1 dould see the boy
had one o-f those so-ft -foam rubber -footballs and_
seemed to be having a rousing -football game o-f guy
versus dogs,..,.
He ran wiib -the fooiball adross ibe $rass, dod<y*9
imaginary iadkles* as ibe do^s happily dhased afier
him, barking and nipping ai bis beds,__
MA»d ifci a TOUCttVOrtW be streamed. "And ike

CROWD. 6j0££ WILD// HAAAAAARRR/*_
Thais when I no-tided bis voide sounded vaguely

-(-ami liar.
Bui my brain re-fused io make ibe donnediion and

insiead dedided be musj jusi sound like someone I
knew.____...
Tbe boy spiked ibe -fooiball inio ibe ground and

broke inio a -f unky dbidken/vunnin^ man inspired
vitiory dande as ibe do^s barked and ran m_
Jcrenz-ied dirties around him.
Then be and all ibe do^s dot lapsed on ibe ground

in sheer exbausiion,
When I finally saw bis fade, I froz-e and gasped in

shodjc^
IT WASBRANDON!!
tie
Suddenly iha-t dommen-fc. he made a douple days
aô, abou-h neycv* •forê-ttin^ me no ma-ttev whai
ined, -took on a whole neu/ meaning__
tte JsNEl/VAha-t: IF Fuz^y Friends dlosed, -bheve was

a dhande he and his yandparen-fcs mi^hi be moving
away duv-in^ -the holiday bveakl
HOMlTmCANrB£__MP££NJ.K$!l...QM.Gl
om^LomÎ
Bv-andon and | mi
not EVER sec ea£h
other AGAIN!
SATURDAYDECEMBERit
The shock aboui Bvandon is finally siav-iin^ to >weav

off a little.
Bui I siil| have a million ûesiionsi
WHO is Bv-andon, really?
WHERE is be from?
WHtT happened io bis parenis?
WHEN did be siavi
HCW did be end up ai WCD?
I overheard
MacKenz-ie and Jessica saying aboui Brandon in ibe
ioileis?/ |s any of ibai irue?
Jusi ibinkin^ aboui all ibis is enough io make my

bead spin and my heari huri-
tzo
I Can£ beîn -to imagine wka£ kes $one £krou<yk.
Bv£ I tloft'b dUve brea£Ke a word o-(• £Kis £o anofker

living soul. No£ even CKloe and Z-oey,
If Brand on wan£s anyone £o know,beCan -tell £Kem.
iVell. a£ leasb some£Kin$ good happened boday- 1
mailed off £Ke paperwork, so now ib/s official!
CKloe, Z-oey and I will be ska£in$ in ikeHoliday on

Ice sKow for ike ckariiy Fuz-zy Friends!
And I plan io do everyikint} wiikin my power £o Kelp

keep ikai place open,.
For ike animals-
For Beity and PkiL______
And mos£ imporiani, for •...... .....BRAHDfiN?

SUmH DECEMBER IS
ARRR4H//
and /Hiss Penelope ri<}ht

now, I Could jus-tv . SCREAM!!
But since this whole thin$ was Mom's STUPID idea,

it's techLnically all WBR -fault!
You d think that after, <yvin$ birth to two children,

she would be a more responsible parent!
Why in the world would she ask MB to take over

the family tradition of baking holiday Cookies for
friends and neighbours?!
I should have suspected that something was up when

Mom started acting really weird at dinner.
jAfter setting the table, she just stood therejike a

mannequin or something, holding on to my chair and
staring at me with this strange look on her face-...
4-2.2-
MOM, KIND OF FRMKINi^ ME OUT!
Bu-t since I was fvetty M«tk starving, | just ignored

ker and Continued "to stv-f-f my -fade,_
Suddenly Atom's eyes $laz.ed over and sbe shopped
blinking- This dould mean only one
dinner and needed emergency medical dare- Or maybe

NOT
o-f food-
uObJSbe suddenly snapped out o-f ber daz-e as a

bi^ sappy yin spread adross ber fade- wl was just_
-thinking about bow wonder-ful it would be to pass
dookie tradition on to YOU, so that one day you
dan share it with /OUR daughter”
I gasped, almost dbokin<^ on my masbed

potatoes.........
Wit/ were we talking about BABIES?!
Brandon and I HADN'T even held bands yet!
I was bappy Mom bad sudb pleasant memories o-f

baking dookies Awi'tK me wheni was a li-ttle kid.
SHE'S. SQ CUT&
MOM AND MB (AT A6jS FIVE),

BMN<5 HOLIDAY COOMBS
Sorry/ Bu-b I was soMOT looking -forwav'd*to baking

dookies wi-bb my OWN dau^b-bev-___
Mainly bedause I bad this -Pear sKe would be a little

TB-RROR as punishmentfat all tbe HEADACHESI
bad daused my mom,.i_s_____
4-15
MB AVD mY MU^HTBR (AT A$B FIVB),
_
Thats when Mow* placed her hands on my shoulders

and looked into my eyes.
"Nikki, will you make the Christmas Cookies this_
year?/Jt would mean so very much to me ”..

Aly $ut reaction was to scream, uMom, stop it/
VWre SCARlM6j me/!
But instead | just shrugged,swallowed a -fov-k-full of

mashed potato, and muttered, uUm . . . okay,"_
I mean, how hard dould baking cookies be? Moms do

it all -bbe time- Right?/
After dinner was over, Mom banded me -bbe Cookie

redipe so I dould get s-bav-bed- Then sbe beaded for
ibe mall "bo finish up ber Christmas shopping.___
Tbe thing -bba-b bo-bbered me mos-b was that Mom_

bad very conveniently lef-b ou-b an important detaiL
I bad -bo bake dookies withBRI ANNA^ ®!!__
I tried -bo dook a gourmet dinner wi-bb Briannaback

in September and it was a total disaster._
And I was STILL baun-bed by -bbe horrible memory

of making homemade ide dream at Thanksgiving and
both Brianna and pad getting their longues studk
on the metaLide-dream thinly'
“Hi, Kikkif 6juess
here, to ..help. you bake Coo kies/"
I was like, JUST 6jR££L @!L
I knew i bad to keef Brianna really busy so sbe

wouldn't $et in my way or do something predidtably
danêvous.......
Like, stuff Miss Penelope in tbe midrowave on tbe

po.pd.orn_ setting, tosee if she would magically turn
into a budket of fofdorn-
So to distradt Brianna, I asked her to 50 find me

two dookie sheets*
Things ôt off to a $reat start; J bad measured all

lients and was about to start mixing_
That's when Briannastarted making so mudb noise,

it sounded like a donstrudtion work site-
"Brianna, I dan barely bear mysel-C tbinM Stop
making all -that noise be-fore you make my bead
explode!" I yelled-
Her eyes lit up- "Really? This noise v/ill make your
bead explode? COOL-!”
"Brianna/ £nodk it o-f-T' Or |m tailing Mom. ....

I threatened-..._.........-.-.
"Look at me/" she said, doin^ tbe robot around tbe

kitdben- wfm tbe Tin Man -from The 1/VizJrd of 0z.f”
Wi
BRIANM,AS THE TIN MAH
Ario
"Sorry, Brianna/ VouVe MOT ike Tin Man/' I
muttered- "You need a BRAIMl THAT would make
you ike SCARECROW!*
"Nikki/ i do 5oi a BRAIN/” ske kul-fed."SEE?” Ske

opened ker mouik really wide and pointed._
I pulled oui a ckair from ike kiicken-table and set

it in front of ker,
"Jusi sit kere and doni move, like a $ood little

Tin Alan. Just pretend youVe rusting or someikin<y.
Okay?"
I mixed ike Cookie ingredients ioêiker, rolled out

ike dou^k and made little Ckrisjmas trees wiik
Moms Cookie Cutters._ _ . . .
Tken I placed ike Cookies in ike oven- Wken I turned

around, Brianna was licking ike spoon,_
"Brianna, don i lick ike spoon./ | need to use it to _ _

make tkisJast baick of Cookies”_
"(is Miss Penelopes -Pauli, no-{
ibe dookie dou<}b io make suve ii s noi na sjy.She-
says youVe really $ood ai drawing, bui your dookin^
£11 MSt........._ _ _ -
s ialkin^ irasb
wasn i even a
real ,,• um......HUMAN-
I ibou^bi aboui <yrabbin$ ibe rolling pin and

^Mn^ Miss Penelope someibin^ really nasiy io
tas-tew
Bui Jnsiead I dedided io dbillax- by waidbin$ TV in

ibe -family room v/bile dookies baked -for ibirieen
minuies.
li badn i been more iban -five minuies when I

ibou^bi I smelled someibin^ burning-_
I rusbed badk inio ibe kiidben, and Brianna was

sianding near ibe sievewiib ibis really $uiliylook
on ber -fade
Ml
The oven -tempera-tuyre had been thanked from 150
decrees -to, like, a -thousand! This is v/ha-t happened^ —
I opened the windows to dear out all the smoke
and hoped the -five department wouldn't show up-
0M6j! Ill just DIEif my -face ends up plastered
on the -front pa$e o-f the City newspaper/
MB,PLASTEREDACROSSTHEFRONTPA4E
This little baking project was a Complete and utter

DISASTER!
Now | Have ■to dal I Mow* and brea k thenews that
she heeds to stop by the supermarket oh her way
home from the mall-
Bedause ibis year, thanks -to Bv-ia^na a^d Miss

Penelofe, all our friehds and -family members
will be redeWih$ holiday too kies baked ih a bollow
tree by -those littlefeebler Elves! JWjus-t
sayih. .... • ©!!
I dah t believe that we actually start ide skating

ih Qfjm dlass tomorrow- SoOh HI be ^lidihj}ad\rosS_
the ide and doih^ double-axel jumps like ■the pros-
I pla* io 30 -to bed ah hour early tonight so ill be

alert ahd well rested-______
Ih s ôih^ to be weird bahîh^ arouhd Brahdoh how

that I khow bis situation- I m still really worried
about hirm
But I tbihk I m startihft to like him everlMORB!
m
-# w -- *
MOHVH DECEMBER li»
Ri^kt now I'm SO -frustrated I dould jus£ . ._
SCREAM®!!
Today was my -first day of ide skating at tke
ki^k sdkool arena during <^ym dlass, a^d it was a
dompleteDISASTER!
Just standing up on tke ide was, like, ten times

karder tkan I tkou^kt it was 50'm^ to be.-_
WW'/^WW'/,WIT/ did I ever a$ree to do tkis stupid

HMay on Ue skow?!
I must kave been temporarily INSANE
And it didn't kelp matters tkat Madênz.ie was_

FUMING over tke_-fadt tkat Ckloe, Z-oey and I were
skating -for FutzyFriends, and not FFR-
As usual, tkat 3»rl went out o-f ker way to make my

li-fe /V]iSERABt-E- - -__
HE/, NIKKI! VOU’RB L00m6, A LITTLE
WOBBL/ OUT THERE ON THE ICE. CM I <$ET
YOU A PAIR OF CRUTCHES?
I tar!-fe, believe Mad&nrie J:ka£jri$kLkft

r* y -fade like iKak
The entire classheard it too. It seemed like _
everyone was snickering about me behind my back-
QM$! I was beyond HUMILIATED/
I/Ve were SUPPOSED to be practising our Holiday

on Ice skating routine during $ym class.
But NOQOO! I didn t practise at all- WHY?!!
BECAUSE I'M SO
AT ICE SKATIN4 I
COULDN'T EVEH STAND
Chloe and Zoey even held both my hands like I was

a clumsy little toddler taking my -first steps^But i
STILL -fell downf __i_
The OHL-Y th'm^ I dould do really well was a r*ove
that required superwobbly le$s._ __
OtA$\ IS SHE OUT OH THE ICE
?/ MH$ THAT DANCE CALLED

THE QTAHKY L£tf!
vh
Well, I'm really sorry to disappoint -those snobby
CCPsf But any dande I was doing was PURE/-'/
addsd ental..——*— ——.—.—.—.--—~—.—.
Chloeand Zoeytold me to dhillax and be patient

bedause it might take three or four weeks of
pradtising before I dould even skate around the rink
by myself,
But our ide show is in only TWO WEE^Sf!

girlfriends, do the MATH'S^
Zoey suggested that I read her book Figure Ska-tiny

for Dummies,....._
$nd Chloe o-f-fered to loan me her novel The lee_

rrih£ess.
But personally, I don't think books are going to help

me mudh.
The only TWO things [ really NEED right now are:

\
One of those walker thirties that really old people
\\X
use, bedause_si* le$s on theJde are better than
just two. . .______ l a .....
And a really soft pillow because I now have a doz.en

bruises from falling on my behind, and I’m NOT 50m5
to be able to sit down for a week- • •... __ _
w
Unfortunately,WII be pvad*tis'm^ our i£e-skatin<}_
routine inaffm dass for tbe rest of tbe week.
And then on December 2-&, Z7 andZO, we' have three

sfedial prattieesessions for -the December 31 show.
I don't mean -to be all doom—V—<jloom, but this
ice-skating stu-ff is turning into a total _
hU&iTMARU . „.
That was me screaming in trustration-
But I Kaye to remain calm and stay -focussed-
I cant a-f-ford to fail- Because if1 do,Bvandon

will be -forced to move, and be's bad enough trauma
in bis life-
TUESDAY'. DECEMBER12
IV sitting in my bedroom trying not to Have a

TOTAL MBLTDom
I just HATE it when I dip things at ike vevy last

minute-..........
My Moky~Dick assignment is due in less than

fourteen hours and IV just now starting it.
By uit” l don t mean the book REPORT-
IV just starting to REAP the stupid BOOK ®H
My biggest tear is that the book might aggravate

a very serious medical problem.
You see, IV super A CEER^j 1C to• • • BORIN^
There’s a possibility that while IV reading

Moby-V\ck, I Could have a SEVERE allergic reaction
due to e*treme„BQ&EPOM andL go into anaphylactic
shock-..._.....
W
I could, dike, actually . Dl£^
/HV PAINFUL AND SENSELESS DEATH

FROM SEVERE BOREDOM DUE TO READING
_MOBy-DIM ___
Then r«y -teadkev- would <yve r*e a bi<^ -fa^t

INCOMPLETE -for rr»y <yrade because I didn't fmisb
ike assi^mehi^
0M6j! l/Vka-t i-f sbe made me attend CUMMER_
w
SCHOOL to make up for
CRUDDY TWAT be?/
Tbank goodness I'd already be DEAD due to my

allergic. readtiontoboredom Q)(f
Anyway, I bad no idea boy/ I was <ôin$ io read the

entire ^Z-âê book AMD write a report_But I
was DETERMINED -to do it.
So | pulled out my Aloby-Ditk book and s-tar-ted

readir»^ as fast as my little eyeballs dould 50. _
Tbe §Qod hews was thatifI read si* paês a minute,

I dould -fmisb -fc.be book in less -fcban "two hours ©JJ
I was pleasAhtly surprised when I didn't immediately

doz.e offor have any major medidal domplidations
-Prom my boredom allergy,
But af ter what seemed like forever, | was so mentally

exhausted, tbe words were just a blur on tbe pa$e.
That's when j dedided to stop and take a short
fifteen-minute break from my intensive reading_
Especially since, according to my dock, I'd been
reading for an entire severe minutesANDbad blaz-ed
my way through three whole pa3es.__
?After quickly recalculating my numbers,| made a

very sbockm0 and 3V-im discovery.
Ai -the rate I was Currently working, it was $oinc^

to -bake »»e FOREVER tojread the book, assuming_
I DIDN'T stop io rest, eat, $et a drink of watev,
sleep, or 30 io -the toilet-
I was so NOT happy about this situation,__
That's when | suddenly ôt this overwhelming ur$eto

tip the pa5es out o-f that book one by one and -flush
them down the TOlLET while hopping on one foot._
DON'T A&K! I was suffering from mental

exhaustions_______‘___
How 3ADL-Y did I NOT want to read Aloby-Dick?
I actually made a list-
Vti
4-50
I Could NOT believe I actually wrote those
words.
Especially a-fter sbe -to-tally grossed me out at

dinner tonight-
mu
By opening ber mouth to show me her partially

chewed broCColi tuna casserole-_
While Hawaiian Punch dribbled out o-f ber nose^...
0tA6f It was all so NAST/ 1 Couldn't even -finish_

r«y w>ea':
li's maki»3 r"e êasy aâin just thinking about it-
Finally. Td bad enoughJ slammed my filoby-Diek

book shut and threw it ^tross tbe room in utter_
•frustrati on-______-.—----
Then I walked down tbe ball and stuck my bead

inside Briannas room,
+■51
"Hey, Btianna/ l/VHaVs uf?"
SHe was sftawled on tHe -floov- playing dolls-
"THe Widked iVitdk Has tkrown Ptindess Suâr Plum

into tHe odean, and Baby Unidotn is tv-yin^ to tesdue
Het But s'mde He dan t swim, tHe Ma<yd Baby DolfHin
Has to Helf," Btianna exflained.
"Sounds lunj” I said-
"Do you wanna flay too?" Btianna asked exditedly-_
"Sutei" I said, and -flopped down on tHe -floor next

to bet,
Okay, wHat was mote important?
Spending quality time witH my wonderful little

sjster?
Ot reading Moby-Dicl#..
Mom would Have been proud!

BR1MNAM&MB,BLMIUADOLLS
Bvia*na pidked up bev- Alaîd Baby Dolpkia a*d

dKa»5ed kevvoide io a ki^ksqueak- “tturry, Baby
Wnidorn!Jump into My Designer Dream Boat and
well 50 rescue Prindess Suâv- Plum”_
I plated Baby Wnidorn 0n -tKe boat and did my best

impression of Alvin from Alvin 3nd ihe Chipmunks.
"Okay, let’s 30! Thank you, Maîd Baby Dolphin, for
helpingme!Bowwill Ieverrepayyou?”__
"Yov £^n dome -to my birthday par-ty and brin$

lots of sweetsj I'm $oin$ to have a piz.z.a party at
Queasy Cheesy. With dhodolate take, too,” Brianna
said happily, ..
"Cooh! £}oody ûmdrops ! (just LOVfc Queasy Cheesy!

Anddhodolate dake,” I said Baby Wnidorn said-_
"Just keep an eye out for sharks!” Maîd Baby

Dolphin added,_"They have very pointy teeth, you
know!”
"AAABHH! SHARES! £?et "»e outta here!!” Baby _

Wnidorn streamed as she ran and hid._
"Wait! Come badk, Baby Wnidorn! Who’sôin^ to
4 54
- -
/V1agi4-Baby Dolphin
dried.
ul dunno! Call 111! Sharks have very pointy ieeih,

?And I'm.allergid -to very pointy ■tee'fc.h/^ Baby Unidorn
streamed hysieridaljy.
Brianna giggled.11 Nikki/ This is jusj like /the Prindess

Sugar Plum MOV IB! Only,more FUN!"
Thais when a liitle lighibulb popped on in my

brain. BOAT?/ FISH?/ POINT/ TEETH?/
MOMMl
“Brianna! I have an idea! Lei's shooi a real

movie! You go run waierin ihe baihiub, and Til
gei Dad's video dameraTEhis is going io be a
blasj/"
Brianna sguealed v/iih exdiiemeni. “Y'A^l I'm gonna

go pui on my Prindess Sugar Plum swimsuit"
I ran badk io my room and read over my Moby-Didk

assignment sheet
4*«5«5
It said,
alle$oridal si^nifidande of the whale, Moby Didk,
and the dedeptiveness of -fate- Youv- report dan be
written ov presented in any other suitable format-
BE CRBATIVB!"
This was djREAT news! I «\uidkly skimmed the last

-few pa$es o-f Moby-Dick-
I -felt kind o-f sorry -for that Captain Ahab ûy^_

Ik the end he was so wrapped up in his «\uest
•for revenue that he went dompletely overboard
in his -final attempt to kill that whale- Ho pun
intended!
| ûidkly gathered some props. Then I auditioned my

adtors and dast the parts.
0-f dourse Brianna wanted to be the STAR o-f

the movie. And sinde none o-f those teen adtors
-from the Disney and Nidkelodeon dhannels were
available at sudh short notide, I finally 5ave in and
let her do it- __»___
MOB/-DICK - CAST OF CHARACTERS
(Played by Mdked M-tdb o-f

■fc.be West doll)
A"?1
THE PSQOUfr a
very dreary whaling
\£ sKif sailm3 oy> ike
Atlantic Oted*
(Played by My Desire*-
Dveam Boa-t)
MOBV DICK, tbe killer White Male
(Played by Bv-ianna Ma*Y/ell)
Skootm^ our movie was pretty dKallenîjn^j-To Create

the stormy odea*, | decided to use a -fan,_
OKAVl LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION!
We finished filnin(}Jn about an hour. | -think my
movie -turned out pretty well- Especially Considering
the -fact that I had a cast ofinexperienced actors,
no budget and it wasn't shot on location,_
I just hope I $et a decent $rade-_
But most importantly, I learned a very Crucial lesson

about the dangers of procrastination—^_
NE\/ER,El/ERwait until the last minute to do a

major homework assignment!
UNLESS, of Course, your little sister can do a

really $oodkiller whale impersonation/ ROhR!f_
fm thinking about entering my video in one of those

prestigious Hollywood film festivals,_
Who knows?/ Maybe one day Moby Dick Battles_

PrinCessSugar Plum on My Designer Dream Boat wil l
be playing at a Cinema near you,_
\bO
WEDNESDAY', DECEMBER 18
o/vi 5 Ml
1 have never been so HUMILIATEDinmy eniireli-fe/
Today in <^ym our ieadber announded ibai we were

ôin^ io spend tbe eniire hour waidbin<} a very
spedial <yroup o-f skaiersper-form...
Sbe said ibey were talented; hardworking and

deserved our utmost respedt and admiration-
Ne:dLsbe e*plained that sbe would be

sdotin^ tbe skaters while the dlass watdhed-_
I was so happy and relieved to bear ibis news

that I ad-Ually did a Snoopy "happy dande” inside
n>y bead-
IV just really bad at ide skating- jAnd instead of

improving, I swear it seems like lm êttin^ WORSE-.
I was looking -forward to seeing those supertalented

tkin$ ortwo-
Tken tkin$s <$oi RBALLY MeirA. ....
Our teadker asked Mad&nzje, Ckloe, Z<?ey and me

to stand-
Iken skeannounced that eadk one O-f us was $oin$

to individually perform tke skating 'routine tkat we
were working on -for tke Holiday or\ Ice skow-_
Ofbourse Mad£enz.ie,Ckloe and ~Z~oey were more

tkan kappy to skow off tkeir skills on tkeJde-_
ME? I almost PEED my pants| Every dell in my body

wanted to run out of tkere SCRB^Ml K4- But
instead, LjiisLskru^ged and said, ”Um . . . okay”_
Even tkou$kMad&nrie still kadnt -found a dkarity

sponsor, ker routine was skeer perfedtion-
On ide, ske was like a ^radeful fairy snow prindess or

sometkint^-....
W\\en Madênz-ie -(-imshed hev routine, she y>t
a standing ovation^v-or* the dlass,And our ^ym

teadher âve hey a -fantastid sdore of T1?! I was
pradtidally $r een with envy._
I was up ne&L A$ | stepped onto the ide I âve

CAM DO THIS? -I CAM
mysel-P a little pep talk, I
DOthis!ICAMDOTHIS!ICANDOTHIS!
<\k<i
I ended mY voujine
sliding adtoss Tke ide onmy s-tomadk )i
maL
wKenUko^btmyskaii^ routinedouldn t
..*.like some kind o-f îan-t LOBSTER CREATURE
in li'p ^loss, Koop eavvin^s and ide skates._

li, seemed like tbe entite dass was pointing and
lau^km^ at meJ waited to tryreally, v-eally badly!
I didn't know wkidb hurtmore, my cût or my eô-
TKen, to add insult to injury, | saw my store.

I dould NOT believe my ^ym teadber bad actually
$iven me a NBfiATlVB FOUR!
ttey, lm NOT a pv-o-fessioâl judê or anything But_

any IDIOT knows there are no NEdjATIVB numbers^
in figure skating
I was SO mad! I actually told off my teacher vi^bt

in front of tbe entire dlasL
"Listen, sister/ Let me see YOU 0et YOUR

DUSTV BUTT out there on tbe ide and NOT
BREAOJiilTfi^_

beard it but me-
CbLoe and Zoey rusbed over to help me up and asked

if | was okay,_____
I told them | was just f ine, tbank you./ Then I went

straight to tbe girls' lodker room and started
writing in my diary ___5._
(jfe sure Chloe and Zoey will eadh do really well on
•tVieir routines..
Then they'll $et a standing ovation -from our dlass

and a superhi^Lsdore -from our teadher, just like
/Vladlênz-ief
That's bedause all three o-f them are really talented

skaters,
Unlike . .
But !'m not jealous o-f them or anything
i mean, how JUVmLB would TUT be?//
SORRY1 But I CAN'T D0 THIS ANYMORB"
i mna
THURSDAY,DECEMBERIS
I -(-ell really korrible {jiving up wken so muck was at

slake for Brando* and Kis family._
Bui Ike skow was only eleven days away. There_

was just no way I was $oin$ lo be able lo improve
enough lo MOT make a Complete FOOL oul of
myself.
Tke director of Ike iceshow is Victoria Steel, a_

famous Olympic ôld medalist figure skater._
I keard from Ckloe tkat she's superstrict- She yells

at skaters when they fall even though it s just__
a charity event- And last year she actually Cut a
skater from a skow because ske said tke $irl was an
embarrassment^
If I stayed on tke team for Fuz^y Friends, tkere

was a risk we Could êt Cut from tke skow and lose
tke $1,000 needed to keep tke skelter open._
_ »
| Couldn't take tkat ckanCe,...
MO
}4s o-P yesterday, Mad&nz.ie STfLL needed a
dharity. So the mature and responsible thin^ ■to do
was -to a*4 BF6j Her -to -take my plade and ska-te -for
Fuz^y Friends-
I really didn t have a dhoide in -(--be mattev.
This was -tbe 0M-V way I dould help Brandon-_
^nd y„E£Uiel-t jMLL _____ _
/Vly biggest -fear was that be was ôin^ -to think_

I was an immature, undisdiplined, un-talen-ted,
un^rade-ful, sel-f-dentred BRAT!
I planned -to explain everything "to him -tomorrow and

-then break -tbe news -to Cbloe and Zoey.__ _
But Brandon showed up -today while I was working in

-the library.
Cbloe and Zoey bad justleft to p»dk up several..

boy.es o-f new library books -from the o-f-Pide, and I
was -the only person at the -front desk,_
Aril
ME.NOT WIIC1N4-BRANDON STAMPING
THERE WATCHING ME WRITE IN mV DMRV
"0M6j! Brando*? Hi/ | didnb see you s-ta^dih^
'theve/^
"Soj Kowls bbe skabin$
'VUbually, I waited bo -talk bo you ab oudbbbab.

Xbevesjsonr»ebk'm^ I need bo -tell you. And | was
bopin$ you dould îve Bebty ike message"
“Oh, really'” Brando* said, SBilmjJThat's -funny,

because I kave a message -fvow* HER boY^W”.
uVbu do? WelL you dan 50 .firsbr I said-_
M1m nob in a bi^ kurry. You dan 50 -fivsb
"NoLYquH
1looked ab Kim and be looked ab me-
"OKAY! I'll £q!*L we both said at tke same time.
Then „ we lau^kecL
uf giveup, /ViatelI- You win!HI 50 -first- .
Brandon dhudkled-
Then he readhed down and grabbed a bag-_
"Betty asked me to .give_this_to you- She said sbe

wouldn't be able to keep the shelter open without
your help, and it s just a small token o-f her
app'rediation w
Brandon brushed bis -fringe out o-f bis eyes and

gave me a big smile-
I just stared at tbe bag and then Brandon and

then the bagand tben Brandon again-__
II Well?^ Brandon said, still bolding it out to me-_

"l/Vby don't you open it? |m supposed to make sure
you like it ”
As I addepted tbe bag from him, a big dopey

smile spread adross my fade and I blushed_
\1\
/Although I was smiling on "the outside, I was a
dompjeie emotional wrefck on tke inside-....
How was j supposed to -tell Brandon I was ûittin$

tke ifceshow wken Betty kad just sent me wkat
appeared to be a tkankyou
\1*>
Inside tbe ba<} was a small, -thin <y-Pt--wrapped b
Tbe wrapping paper bad pictures o-f tbe Cutest
^reai Puppy
Escapepbotos.
But then I -book a closer look- It WMS our pbotos!

Brandon bad printed them up as <ytt wrap-_
"AWWWWWi! ttow Cute!” I pushed-_
I -bore open tbe wrapping paper and inside was a

WV o-f -bbe Disney movie Lady and ihe Tramp
uQM£j, Brandon! This was my -favourite when I was a

little kid! it's PERFECT/" _
Brandon smiled- w| was hoping you d like it!”_
W| VO! And Brianna's ôin^ to love it too!”
Brandon crossed bis arms, leaned against tbe desk_

and stared ri^bt at me-
uSo^^_wbat was it you wanted to tell ME?” be asked.

JUSTJjREiff Ml&jUJW I -felt like a total
jm1.
uWelL I - I just was . . . ur». . .w I stammered-
1/VHO would guit or> a poor lady struggling with ah

orphaned grandson, a sidle husbandand eighteen..
homeless animals. AFTER she'dûsJLsent a wonderful
thankyou present? ..
Only a doldheartedSfrIAKfc, thatswho/
"Actually* it s -kihd of about Mad&nz.ie”
1 hesitated, staring nervously at the floor...
"Shes ah excellent skater, and ( was thinking she—”
"Listen, Nikki. Pontworry about Maddenz.ie^ She's
Zoey- Besides, in bio -today I overheard /Vlad&nz.ie

telling Jessida sbe was going to be skating for a
fashion sdbool or something."... . .
Ml
I was skodked to kear tkat yviad&nz.ie kad -finally
-fou^d a sponsor-
-faskion sdkool? Are. you kidding?” 1 e*dlaimed-_

w
u Waiti don t tell me- •
1 put my kand on my kip and did my best Aladênz-i e

impression-
wHon/ Like, my very -faljulous dkarity is -from tke

Westdkester Institute«?-f Faskion and Cosmetology,
IfVkidk, by tke way, is o wned by my aunt Clarissa!”
Brandon looked amused- 'Yeak, adtually, 1 tkink

tkatsEXACTLYwkat ske said- It's owned by ker
aunt- - - Clarissa?”
*Yeak, I bet Mad£enz.ie donvinded ker aunt to

start a new dkarity to make our dity more
beauti-ful• Ske stands on street dorners kandin$ out
designer dlotkin^ to tke -fashionably dkallenêd!” I
That3'irl is so It/CKBDIBU/vain- .
MAC£Etm& /m/m our city
M/m BEAUTIFUL'
Thanks to her
dompletely OUT of -the pidture- WhidhmeanT_M£
and my very braised behind were badk IhL_
I needed "to 50 To my Emerêndy Plan B, Only I

didn't have one,
Brandon folded his arms, w£o, wha-t is it I m

supposed To Tell Be-tty?” he asked aâin-_
"Adtually, Brandon, just tell her | LOVB -the DVD■

And Thanks?”
"Thank YOU!” Brandon said softly as his eyes

lodked on to mine,_
0M6f! Talk about major RCSL ___
My knees felt all weak and wobbly, and I wasn’t

even on the ide,
Brandon ^landedat his watdh- wUh-oh! I better $et

badk to dlass. >
A-00
He $ave me another one o-F his drooked smiles and j
mudh-_;__
After Brandon left, I dol lapsed into my dhair....
Thu was BAD/_ _______ „
Very, very BAD/!
But when I pidked up my new Lady and the 7ramp_

DVD, -For some reason I started to -Peel better._
Probably bedause my very -Favourite sdenewas on the

dover. Vou know the one-
The -Famous SPAGHETTI KISS?__
That's when I started to wonder i-F Brandon likes

spaghetti
What i-F on our very -First date we went to a quaint

little Italian restaurant and shared a plate o-F
spaghetti? We'd $et- • •_ —.
A-ei
•#
¥: fiey/ It dovJd adtually
enl! Jiminm• .•I wonder kow mudk private
lessors witk a figure skating doadk dost. . . ?...
NKU OPEN VOUR EVES BEFORE

yOU CRASH INTO THAT WALU
\_
\_
MB, AS A GRACEFUL ICE PRINCESS TRAINING

WITH MV COACtt!
FRIDAY, DECEMBER 2-0
Today is the last day of school! This means I'm

officially on winter break! W00-W00 Mf
Christmas is my most favourite holiday! IfVttY?!
Because you $et lots of presents AND a lon^ break

from school^ Its like having a birthday and a mini_
summer holiday all rolled into one.-_
How cool is THAT?/
The only downside is that by the time you hit

middle school, most parents really start slacking off
on their tyft-jyvin^ responsibilities- _
Every year I $et the same old cruddy $ifts- Pyjamas,

socks, fruitcake, and an electric toothbrush with no
batteries.in it CDUH/X_
I'm so DISGUSTED! I have such a larê inventory

of cheap, jumky $ifts I Could actually open my own
DOLLAR STORE or somethin^^_

Bui THIS year is $°m$ io be di-Piereni! And yes, ii
was probably a liitle iacky ofme io uaccide*ially"
leave Copies o-f my wi.sk lisi plasiered all over ike
bouse -(-or Mom io •Cind- . .__
w
“H
1 r
cdgj
\ __
l<
v_
mm sJ
*
r.n rV\,
4 .,>.• > '. ;c‘
Wr* V *C“"W, V!
"rav
V1 . . * "U < H \t«~H».l

I - sure my wish list was way more e:*diiin9 reading
than those dusty old Readers Digests my dad keeps
m the bathroom,
Anyway, when Mom announced that she had not

just ONE, but TlVO early Christmas presents for
Brianna and me to open - I was pleasantly shocked
and surprised-
Had I known my brilliant, in-your-fade marketing

strategy was ôin^ to work so well, I would have
used it years aô-
The larger present was CO bfy I guessed that it

probably dontained my new laptop domputer, mobile
phone, art supplies AND dash,_
u| hope it s. a dhodolate dake/” Brianna streamed

editedly- 301 n$ to have a Prindess £u$ar Plum
dhodolate dake for my birthday^'
We both ripped open our <yft at the same time- I

almost FAINTED when I saw what was inside- •
w
_"mom!! wttA r the. .. ?»_
_-A PRINCESS SU$AR PLUM DRESS?'"
Afpat-eivfcly, Mom Nad paid ouv neighbour lady,

Mvs Wallabanjer, bo n>ake us these sitkenmjly
Aio
■frilly AMTCHIN^j Prindess Suâv Plum dresses.
Then Mom ô-t all emotional and teary-eyed-
the best part is that tomorrow you'll be weaving

tkes,e beauti-fuldvesses toa VERY spedia I event/w
I was like, "Mom/ Are. you KA-RAY-'ZEE??IJ>>_

heard it but me-
I hoped that the event was 501*5 to be at a

junkyard, an abandoned parking 53^956, a dow
pasture, or a sewa5e treatment plant- Anywhere
there'd be a limited number of li-fe-~forms to see
me AtL that UfiL-Y dress/
Mom 5i5gled and be50ed us to open our sedond

present- Jud5i*5 -from the very small siz-e, I was
hopi*5 it was a bo* o-f matdhes.__
Then I'd be able to BURN my new dress in the

-Pireplade- But no sudh ludk @!
"SURPRISE!/ Hour family skating Time, v/eVe
301*9tke Hîcracker ballet!" Mom
to see
exdlaimecl..........
VJ2-
iVHy was my mom 5ivi^^ me an dress
andi d BORING balle-t theatertidketjwhenI've
been b£6j6ilN6j -for a new PHONE for, like,_
F0REI/ERL'
Had she not even BOTHERED to READ ike

twenty-seven dopies of my wish list that I had
disdveetly left lyin^ avou^d tke house?!
Hey, if I'm <ônna watdh a staê show, it better

indlude slam min' vodals, kraz-y-ôod danders, spedia1
effedts, fireworks, loud guitar solos and drowd
surfing
| am so MOT looking -forward to this.
If Mom really wants to TOKTUKF me, ske should

just make me stay kome and BABYSIT BRIANNA
whileblasting Dad S LAMB disdomusiduntil my _
EARS BLEED-
I'm just saying
\v>
SATURDAYDECEMBERn
I jus-t s-tared ai mysel-f in -the mirror in -to-tal

disbeliefs
Hov/ y/as -this possible?
I HATED -tha-t hideous dress even MORE -than I_

did yesievday^
I decided it y/as -time -to -take leâl action.I was

ôin^ io sue my parents.
For CRUELTY to Children! _ _
wîrls! ItsJbime io §o!” Mom chirped cheer-Pully.

uj danf wart io see bow beauti-Pul the two o-P_
you look!’*
I adjusted theku$e bow in my hair, whichwas -tbe

siz.e oi a small seagull.
I looked just like one o-P -those Creepy Victorian

porcelain dolls you find in antique shops._
CREEPS VICTORIAN
PORCSLAIN DOLL
To make maiters
worse, ike -fandy
shoes were killing
my ieei. I so
wanied io wear
rny y/ov-ft-roui
donverse.
li was ôin<^ io
be pain-ful enough
io have io sii
ibvou^K a
iwo-hour
SM0ZEEEST
Hey, I mi$Ki
as well have
tom-Py-feei-
Brianna, /Worn and f worereddressesand matchmt
+15
bows, while Dad wore a black suit with a red
shirt d»d a bi3 red-and-white polka-dotted
bow ..tie,
I taught a glimpse of the four of us m the

living room mirror and actually had a mini
meltdown-
We looked like a family of, um . . . CIRCUS_

CLOWNS • • • all dressed up for a ...... clown • ,,_
FUNBRAL or something
All we needed now was. . . _____
I. Some rubber balls for Dad
2- . One of those trick plastic flowers that squirt._

water for Mom
3- A bi^ plastic horn for Brianna AND

CLOWNS "R” US'
W
Forsome reason, Brianna'sdress fit a little s-tvanêly.
Probably because itwas on backwards. DUH!
"Brianna,” Mom groaned- w| knew | shouldn't have lei

you put that on by yourself- Come here” SheknelT__
down ne*iJbo. Brianna and adjusted ber dress- _.._
"No! I can dress myself!” Brianna protested. "I'm_

a bi^ 3‘irl! My birthday is Coming up soon, and IV
ôin^ to êt a Princess £u$ar Plum chocolate cake ”
Mom just ignored her. "There,” she said. "Now you

look just as lovely as the Suâr Plum Fairy- Shell be
in the ballet tonight ”
"Hey!” Brianna's eyes lit up. "Is she Princess Cuâr

Plums SISTER?”
"It's very possible,” Mom said-. "We're 30W3 to

see her and her ballerina friends dance in pretty
Costumes. It's 30^3to. be a lot of fun- You'll see”
4i«
"Nikki, -tell me -the story about Prindess Sugar Plums
sister? Please/" Brjanna begged^,
I rolled my eyes. It was a domplidated story. And

Brianna bad tbe attention spa* of a Tater Tot,
"Well, her friend Clara gets a lame toy, ber brother

breaks it, it domes to life, their bouse gets infested
with danding rats and they visit a land full of
sweets and desserts. Then their world gets taken
over by an evil Rat tjng," I muttered--
SWEETS and DESSERTS?/" Brianna squealed,_

basidally ignoring everything I'd said about doom,
4i1
^loorn and dandin<} rodents. "Do you -think -there's
dhodolate dake -there?"
'There's every dessert you dan imagine," Mom added

dreamily. "The -flowers, -trees and das-tles are all
made of swee-ts. Doesn't -that sound amaz-in^?"
We all filed into the dar, and about thirty minutes

later we arrived at this huê, swanky-lookin^ theatre-
Everyone there had on suits and formal dresses.
Mom had managed to $et us seats really dlose to

the staê so we'd have a $ood view- But $uess who
$ot studk sitting ne*t to Brianna?
mi
J think Mom and Dad did that on furfose, bedause
while the ordhestra was warming uf, they left their
seats to 50 dhat with friends._
I mean, WHO did they think I was? Mary Pofpins?!

Nanny MdPhee5^
SOO
While Bvianna and I were sittirt3 there,she suddenly
started sy/m^m^ her -feet a^d kidkm^ the seat in
•froht o-f us while sm^m^ a su\>erobrtoxious sor>3 she d
**ade ufj
"Suâv- plur«s, Cookies a*\d sweets

But wat>‘h out, Mr Rat
'Cause i-f you toudh my ehodolate eake
I'll whaek you with a bat!"
An older mart wearing a tu* turned around artd

âve us BOTH a dirty look.
Whieh made no sertse whatsoever because / wasn't_

the Orte sirtîrt^ and kiekm^ his seat!
uBriartna," [.kissed, "stop kidkirt^ that mart's seat-_

Artd flease be <\uiet
"Hi, Mr Bald 6juy! How did you êt your head

to shirte like that? £juess what? I'm wearing
a rtew dress. 0* my birthday I'm 301*3 to 3et a
ehodo late—--- - — -— — - ---—-.
501
BRIANNA, TALM4 TO MR BALD $UY AND
_____ ___ ..KICKING WS SBAT_
50 Z
uBriannaf Z-if it!” I snapped-
Finally Mow and Dad dame badk -to their seats

and ike theatre lights dimmed-....
But Brianna was already bored out o-f herskull-
When tke ordkestra started playing ske must

have dedided it was tke per-fedt musid -for ker
little son$ bedause ske staLrted„smîn^ at„tke_
top o-P ker lun^si
uSuâr plums, dookjes and sweets

But watdh out, Mr Rat—w .
u£kkk|W At least a doz.en -frownin$ people

shushed ker- -...-...
I sank down in my seat and pretended I was with

anotker -family.
lA/kidk wade no sense whatsoever-^
■5 01
/ Y/asn-t ike o
and o-ff-key-
All -tkreu^kovdt£kefirst adt, Brianna sîrmed and

kidked ike seat in front of key,_
But at leas-t ske was «p/iet-
Tkank goodness...............
Un-til ike evil Rat &n$ and kis minions appeared-_
Tkat swkenBriannastood uf in key dkair, pointed

a-t ike sta$e, and sdreamedi_
"Holy /WdNu^geisf Those da tiding

v-ais av-e HWdjBf jAnd $uess
what?f My sisiev had a Halloween
tos-tume like "that/ Pidn-t you,
sjinky- • !"
*>0\
BRIANNA. SCREAMING AT TUB RATS
505
Everyone turned and shot us dirty looks.
I wanted -to PIE/
I did NOT apprediate Brianna -telling all o-f my

persona I business like that,_ ___ _
Hey, I didn't know -those people,_
They were, like, domplete • . STRANGERS!
Anyway, I EKink Brianna mus-t have messed up -the

Rat Ein^'s dondentration or something bedause be
missed <\uite a -few o-f bis dande steps-_
"So, wheres PrindessSuâr Plum's sister?" Brianna

blur-ted ou-t ne*t
"Brianna^ Sbbbb/^ Mom sdolded herin a whisper.
"Nikki, please -try -to keep your sister ûieE okay?”

Dad pleaded under bis breath-_
MJ_ amJShe's just MOT listening" I huffed kind of
loudly-__________..
Oofs. | forgot -to use my “inside” voide-_
A'i least a doz-en feofle shushed me.
Finally the durtains dame down and the lights went

on for intermission.
0M$! Li seemed like ike entire audiende was staring

at us all evil-like-
"This is why you don't brin^ dhildren to the

theatre,” the bald 3uy in tbe tu% muttered
loudly to his wife, followed by a few not-so-nide
words-
Brianna tapped him on bis shoulder aâin.
"Fey, Mr Baldy/ Did you see those buê rats up

on that staê?/ Boy, were they sdary/”
That was the last straw for the tu* ûy,.
507
Re -turned really red, stood up, stomped over to an
usher and demanded that he and his wi-fe be îven
new seats.-.....-......
I wanted to <yrab hold o-f his doat-tails, drop to rny

knees and be$ desperately, "Please, sir, take me with
you,Please?1'
I had to $et a break from Brianna before I totally

lost it-
"I'll be ri^ht badk?" I said to my parents. "I'm_

ôin^ to find some water-Ôr a ride home, if
I'm ludky."....
"Wait, Nikki/ I wanna 30 toooo?" Brianna

whined-
"I'll be ri^ht badk, Brianna " ..
"But l need to §0 to the toilet?"
"Nikki, dould you take your sister

Please?" Mom asked-
DARN JTll
LwardtdL >m. But if Bnianna Kadi an

addident while we wene disduss'm^ thematten,I knew
Mom was Côin^ to blame me.
And I was pretty sure the dondessions stand DIDN'T

sell Pampersi* Ken siz^...
"Come on, Bnianna,^ I <yri, •mped-
"Thank you, d.eanjM Mom smiled- "I appnediate it-w
Onde we $ot to the toilets, | -tvied my best to

be patient with Bnianna;
"Now, bunny up and 50, okay? Tbe show will be

stantin^ aâin soon, and we want -to êt badk -to
oun seats befone they dim theJi^htsZ_
"Don t rush me!" Bnianna said, and studk ben tongue

out at me-. .
jAs she walked into the dubidle hen eyes lit up- • •
510
"Oh, yoody! Now | dan prelend my arm is broken and
wrapjl up,” she squealed happily...
Jusl yeal! Ls^hed-_
This was 301*3 -to -take FORFl/FR!
I wailed lor Ihree lon3 m mules.
"Brianna, are you done yel?'
"Almosl. Now Tr* wvappin3 up my broken head^”_
"you* broken WttATfl Brianna,lei s £j0! N0W!”_ _J_
"Bui f STILL have lo 30 lo Ihe loilel^
"Fine! Ill be wailin3 lor you on lhal bendh \ri3hl

oulside Ihe door.When you 3d done,
wash your hands and dome r^hl oul- Okay?;
"Okay! Um,Nikki, do you have any . . . 3lue?"
I made a menial nole-lo-selflll, during my
$11
lifetime*Jdom ■to -take Brianna -to
ike toiletaâin* jcwa. away SCREAMING
I hadn't been sitting on the bendh for more than

a minute when I noticed a lon$ line of people
waiting to buy these huê gourmet dupdakes in a
fancy $las$ display dase on the other side of _tbe_
lobby
I ûess Brianna's obsessive rambling about dhodolate

cake must have affedted my subdonsdious or_
somethin <y.........
Bedause I Could almost hear the double—fudê

dhodolate dupdakes dallin^ my name,__
Soon the line had dwindled down to two people, and

Brianna was still nowhere in si^ht-_
That's when l decided to make a mad dash to buy a

dupdake-
It wasn't my fault that looking after Brianna meant

I had worked up a tremendous appetite-__
They were way overpriced at
But they were the most-larê, most— moist*

most-lusdious, most-dhodolaty dupdakes I had
ever seen inmy entire li-re-._ _
The sales dlerk $uy pladedit in a fandy white bo**

and I darefully pladed it in my purse-_
Of dourse, me bein^ the responsible older lister that

I was, | never took my eyes off that toilet door
tor more than a tew sedonds (or minutes)._ _
I started to $et alittle worried bedause they were

flashing the house lights, whidh meant the interval
was about to end-
And I was STILL waiting tor Brianna to dome out

ot the toilets,_______
So you dan imagine my surprise when | turned around

and spotted a frillyred Prindess Suâr Plum dress at
the drinking fountain on the other side of.the lobby.
I rusbed vi^Kt ovev.
“There you are* Brianna/ You were in tbe toilet

FOREVER/ I/Ve need -to 5e-t badk -to our seats ri^bt
now. Come on/”
I grabbed ber band and fulled ber through tbe

lobby,
Tbat;s when sbe stared uf at me v/i*tV> -the most

HORRIFIED look on ber -fade-___
My bv-am was STILL trying to -figure out bow

Brianna bad gotten durLyred bain -fredklesand
glasses. .....
But my moutb dame uf with tbe answer and suddenly

blurted • • •
uHey/ VouVe MOT Bv-iannaf”
“Mommy/” tbe little $irl dried- "Stranger danger/

Stranger danêr^”
ME,WITH ALITTLE 4IRL WHO J£
APPARENTLY' NQTMUMk_
Startled, I dropped Ker Hand and badked away-
“My bad!” I apolojised- “I tboujbt yo u wete someone

else)Sov-v-y)"
Tken 1 rusked batk£o “tke -toilets to try to f ind my
little sister........
“Brianna? Are you in kere? Brianna|,> I streamed as

i tketked every dubitle. But ske was nowkere to be
found-
My keart started to pound and m y palms ôt really

sweaty. ( frantidally ran badk out into tke Kail and
stanned tke lobbyjstill no Brianna.
Tkat s wken 1 started to panid. 0M6\! l/Vkat if

skeS lost F0RF\/FR?! Tke terrifying tkou^kt
overwkelmed me-
I touldnt imagine life witkout my little sister, even

tkou^k ske was a Category5 kurridane in pi^taik-_
I was so distrau^kt, 1 even started to miss Miss

Penelope.
I vowed tkat if l found Brianna, I'd buy a new

purple pen and personally îve Miss Penelope a
glamorous takeover._ __...__.- _.-
517
MISSPENELOPE'S
Bui now I had to 30 badk into that theater and

tell Mom and Dad I had somehow lost Brianna- I was
hoping PRAYING Brianna had just wandered badk
into the auditorium.______
If only she was badL_m her seat, safe and sound,

torturing the people sitting nearby by kidkin^ their
seats, sinîn^ her obnoxious little son$ and dhattin^
with Mr Baldy. _.... _
The ballet had already started up aâin by the time

I to my row. This meant I had to drawl over
about a doz-en highly an noyed people-
•510
U£*duse me. I heed ■to êt through. Was that your
-foot? Sorryf f apologise.Oofs!”
tbe time I $ot to my seat, my eyes werefihi

starting to adjust to tte darkness.| -fully e*pedted
dome into -fodus at any sedohd,_
uWhat took you so loh^?” Mom whispered veally

loudly. uWe were starting to worryf Um,Nikki,
I ofeêd my moutk, but at -first ho words dame out
u£hes hot Here? I thought maybe sbe dame badk to

her seat.^'
/Vlom's e*pressioh shi-fted -from duriosity to alarm-_
UMMT?/" sbe said even, louder-
0-f dourse, everyohe shot ber ditty looks,_
u|—-I was waiting -for ber, ahd sbe just,.

VANISHED/"
■511
"Did you dhedk all the dubidles?"_
"YtS/ Three 'times"
"Wh,dear. . ." Dad tapped Moms arm nervously.

His eyes were -froz-en on the sta$e-_
uHow about the lobby and the dondessions stand?"

Mom dontinued. uA1aybe sbe saw some sweets/'_
wl)VeJL lets not panid-Maybe sbes playing in tbe

lifts. Let's 50 badk out to tbe lobby and—"
"VfcAR, you REALLV need to see thisf" Dad

interrupted aâin.
"What dould possibly be more important ri^bt now

than trying to find- • "_
That's when Mom and I looked up at the staê,_

"BRIANM!!" v/e both sdrearned-
•510
Clara and ike Nutdradker prmde were waking
tkeir <yrand entrande to tke Land o-P Sweets in an
extravagant boat
Mtk a little stowaway in tke badkseat- Wko was

festively draped in wkat looked like a -Pull roll o-P
toilet paper-
“Briannaf" Mom called out to her.
Buteither Bria nna douldn t

i^norin^ hen
Brianna seeded almost hypnotised by the dandy dane

■trees, tûmdrop bushes and -the humorous dupdake
das-tle on -the staê-
But the really sdary fart was that she had this_
misdhievous ^rin that went from ear to ear-_
The don-fused audiende immediately notided Brianna

onsta3e in her toilet-paper outfit-
Most of themsdratdhed their heads and whispered

to eadh other.
No one seemed to remember there bein^ a pint-siz.ed

mummy in The Nutcracker..________
Clara and the Nutdradker prinde, still all smiles,_

stared badk at the audiende with perplexed looks on
their.fades-...
Bui whe* they finally tuv-ned and saw Brianna
standing there smiling a*d 'wavin3 at the audience,
■they totally FREAKED- • •_
r ^
I
i0 V“ ou
■5Z3
totarry her off the sta$e.But Brianna stubbornly
held on to the boat -for dear li-fe- Finally he âve up
and just le-ft her there-
When the dancers took the staê, they didn't notice

Brianna v-i^ht away either-__ ___
Some of them were dressed as Cookies and others as

sweets. Then came the dancing che-fs holding trays
o-f pies, cupcakes and assorted pastries._
“That's what I m talking 'bout!" Brianna screamed,

and jumped out o-f the boat-_
She bolted -for the dancers like a Crazy bulk_
Mom, Dad and I ran towards the staê as -fast as

we Could-
The moment -felt surreal and like we were moving in

slow motion,
524-
yUUAMAULMom cried. "UOOOQO!”
Bui there y/ds no y/ayy/e Could get therebe-Poreske

siav-ied her -feeding -frenzy,_
First, ske gabbed a male dancer by ike ankle and

bit into his chocolate boot-_
Ske made a -Pace- 11 Vuc.k/ Thai’s MOT chocolate/w
TKe dancer skook her o-f-f kis leg^.. „...
NexL, Brianna van io a candy-floss ballerina and

grabbed ker iuiu.
Tke ballerina stopped dancing and tuggedback. ..
Bui a piece of ker iuiu ripped off in Briannas hand,

and Brianna shoved it inio ker mouth-“Fy/w^ Ske
spai ii oui and -frowned. “Thai s MOT Candy-floss/”..
Almost all the characters stopped dancing and

scrambled off ike stage to avoid being eaten alive^_
Soon ike only dancer le-Pi was a clueless .chef
darry'm^ a kuê dkodolate dake- We was -to-tally
-fodussed or\ e*e£vdhin$ a series of ^ra^d flies-_
wRun| Run|wjtbe frenz-ied audience dbanted ex-ditedly-
I douldnt believe it*
I e*pedted people would be walking out, booing, ov at
least throwing rotten ye^giei?_
But tbeir butts were <ylued totbeir seats, and

tbeir eyes to tbe staê like they were watdbin^
tbe last "ten minutes o-f a -football $ar*e and tbe
store was tied_
Brianna spotted tbe bu$e take and just stared at it

in awe-
l/Vben tbe dbef finally tau^bt a glimpse of Brianna,
be suddenly stopped dandin3 and looked like be was

about to wet bis par t s;
Brianna ran adross tbe sta3e and lunged for tbe

dbef like a football player making a tatkle-
Tbe dbef streamed, threw tbe dbodolatetake up in

tbe air and dove into tbe ordbestra pi*L_
There was a drash and a loud; o-f-f-key note lirom
"the "tuba.-.......-____-.-._.
It was ûite obvious what musidian the dandin$ dhe-f

had landed on?
Brianna triumphantly grabbed the dake and took

a huê bite out o-f it just as we made it to the
sta$e-
"Brianna, you dome down here this instant!” Mom

ordered-
Brianna lifted her head -from the dake-
Her -fade was smeared with dhodolate -frosting, and

her mouth was so •full she looked like a blow-fish-
A-fter dhewi»5 -for a -few sedonds, she -frowned._
Perplexed and disappointed, Brianna pointed at

the -fake pastry- "Thithisnth thodolate dake!”
she said- »
I barely made out wbat sbe wa? saying but I saw
white Styrofoam where shed bitten a Kuê dhunk
out of tbe dake-
“There's no real food up here- It s all just props/' |

sdoJdedJ dan't believe you did this/"
her theDeathStare- "Do
there. , . fw
Uh-ohj. Mo m meantbusiness•
'Ye-th, "Yam," Brianna finally mumbled in defeat-
She spat out the faux take and jumped from the
sta$e into Moms avms.
Then the most shotkin^ thin$ happened-_
The danders, the ordhestra AND the audiende $av£

Morn a standing ovation for single-handedly brinîn^
the Mutdradker data strophe to an end-_
And $et this/
After Brianna had obliterated the

M»tdradker ballet, she adtually had the nerve to
wave and blow kisses to everyone, like she was on a
TV show or something- __!_
I felt a lot better when a ten—minute interval was
announded so tbe danders dould prefare to start the
sedond adt over aâin-___
$nd then tbe bouse lights dame on.
As we left tbe theatre tbe audiende was still

dbeerin^ for Brianna, indludin^ Mr
Baldy.
It was bard to believe those stuffy folks adtually

loved tbe A/utdradker ballet as a slapstidk domedy.
e dar and drove home in silende-
Mostly bedause no one bad tbe energy to ledture

Brianna,
If she bad been M/ dbild, I would have dropped her

off at the nearest mental hospital for a psydhiatrid
evaluation,.......
Or, better yet, tbe dity z.00
Sl\
But she WASN’T my dhild- Thank ôodness^
Even -though I wanted to be an^ry at Brianna, deep

down | was happy and relieved that she was okay.
It felt $ood io be home aâin-JBut my poor mom and

dad were so exhausted -they went straight to bed^„
Bein$ the responsible oldev daughter that I am, I

assured rny parents | would see to it that Brianna
$ot into her pjs and safely tudked in.__
| was surprised that she didn i whine and domplain

like she usually does at bedtime^ She just hun^
her head, trudged upstairs and dhanêd into her
pyjamas.-_-
I felt kind of sorry for her. In a way, all of this

was mostly our fault- We had overemphasised the
whole sugary-dessert theme of The Hîtratlcer._
Brianna was just a little kid. Bow was she supposed

to know all the sdenery and the dhodolate dake
was fake? ..
Tkat s wken I suddenly remembered Mv4 dupdake, and
my moutk started -to water all over aâin-
I tuskeddownstairs -to Pour myself a tall, dold (dais

of.milk,
I douldnt wait to $et badk to my room and sink my

teetk into tkat lusdious dkodolaty dupdake wkile I
wrote in my diary.._._.......___
Wken | passed Briannas room, I dould tell ske was

still pretty upset- Even witk ker door dlosed, I dould
kear ker sniffling and muttering to kerself-_
However, | froz.e in my tradks wken | keard ber iin^

wkat kad to be tke saddest son$ EVER:_
"No suâr plumSj dookies or sweets

Tke dupdake dastle was flat
Tke dkodolate dake was really fake
Sometimes I’m . . sudk a • • • BRATf”
I darefully pladed my dupdake and $lass of inilk on

tke floor in front of ker door, , ,_
By ikeJu»e Brianna opened i-t, Td already dashed
io my room and -flopped across my bed-
«53«5
I keav-d kev- squeal in deltykt/
"CWOCOLATB CAK&! Tkank you, Prindess Su5av-

Plumn/ You made my WISH dome brêl”
"You've weldome?" I said aloud -to myself, and smiled-
Wkowould kave •Bvu.nk-tkis ni^k-k would -kuvn ou~k_

so well?
BviannaDIDN'T end upon *tke side o-f a milk davton

as a missing dkild- ___ _ _ ...
Tke audiende seemed "to enjoy kev- an-kids in -bka*t

wadkydomedy-ballet-veali-ty skow. _
And Alom and Dad.were ioo e*kaus-ted -to ground

me -tor -tke vesi o-f a>y li-Pe fov losing Bvianna-
Bui mos-t importantly, I disdoveved -tkai îvin^

away Some-tkin^ you dkevisk -to someone you love dan
ad-tually make you kappiev -tkan keeping it-_
*
I $uess-tka-t's wka-t Ckris-tmas is all abou-t-._

0\\> dv-udf 1 in ki m s-tavtin^ -to sound like one o-f
Monts, sappy <yree£in^ _
Hmmm, maybe my -family isn;,t so ftAV d-f'te'r all-

SUNDAY'. DECEMBER VL
When we got home from church •this morning, it was

snowing like Crazy And by noon -there was a-t least
ten.Centimetres...........
As -Par as | was concerned, it was the perfect_

weather to Curl up in front of the fireplace and sip
hot chocolate with marshmallows. ..
But HOOO! My parents FORCED me to 30 outside

in near-bliz-z-ard Conditions for the STUPIDEST
reason-^
They wanted to build a snowman for Brianna! _
Mom got all excited and said it would be a

wonderful project for Family Sharing Time- But I
already knew it was going to be a major DISASTER-
It was Dad's bright idea to make a life-siz.e

snowman lie was off to a really good start as his
snowball grew bigger and bigger and bigger-
KG
T_kcn, um-PoJrtima'tely, Ke losiden£lrol o-P i-fc, or\ a
Kill. . .
?i
Well, -there was <jood news andbad news.
The 6\OOV news was -that Brianna ended up wibh a

li-(-e-siz.e snowman jusb like Dad had promised hfifc_
Bub -the BAD news was -tha-t DADwas -the li-fe-siz*

s n ow m a ft.........
A-fber he ranjJown bhab bi$ hill, he dived head-firsb

inbo -this huê snowbank- Then his snowball landed_
ri^hi on -top o-fhim. CRUNCH// _
0M6jH lb book jas ben minubes jusb bo di$ him oub-_
And by bhe bime we 30b bo him, he had NEW

•frosbbibe on bop o-f bhe OLD frosbbibe he'd 50b
■from bhe snowblower fiasco.
I felb SO sorry -for him. Especially since he was run

over by bhab snowball while bryin^ bo do somebhin^
nice for Brianna
I jusb hope Dad isnb braumabiz.ed and sufberin^

•from some weird illness like snowman-a-phobia.
Ô
At ‘this point, I dont -think were ôin^ to he
huddling 3ny more snowmen 3nytime soon-
Thank goodness/
iVhich allows me even MORfc Arse ■time -to dud up

in front of -the fireplade, drink ho-t dhodola-te with
marshmallows and write in my DIARY-
I almost forôtf I STILL need to 90 shopping and_

buy a few more presents._
| ve dedided to îve Brandon a Christmas present

too- He’s SUCH a sweetheart.^
I just have to figure out something hed really like-
limmm. Maybe a 3ift dertifidate for a romantid
spaghetti dinner for TWO at Giovannis'..
SffUEBBBJl
©ft
MONDAY, DECEMBER Z3
Every yean I wait vmtil tbe very Iasi jwinvrfce to do_

my Christmas shopping. I sneak out ot the house with
Brianna, and we ride my bike in the snow to the
nearest store- • •
*>\r
Sinde I don't kave my drivevsJidende yei, weVe
basidally -forded -to skop at ike dlosest plate we dan
9et -to be-fore we datdk PMBUMOIÎA-_
Thais why Mom and Dad always $e-t -tadky presents,

like a âmily-siz.e padk o-f -too-tkbvushes Iron me and
But "this year I wanted to <êt them something
spedial that they'd RfcAL-L-Y like.
Youknow,inaddition /to the toothbrushes and

vitamins-.........
! was £0 happy when I saw this hu$e bin o-f

sdrapbooks on sale!
It was BIX/ ONE, 6jET FOUR FREE/ | was really

ludky to stumble upon sudh a ^reat holiday sal^L_
Ormaybe the store was just trying to fawn them

o-f-f on unsusfedtin^ Customers so there'd be less junk
to throw away at the end ot the shoppin$ season-
Anyway, seeing those sdrapbooks really $ot my

Creative juices flowir-j.
I dedided to buy one as a <ytt tor Mom and

Dad- J planned to use my advanded skills in
arts and drafts to dreate a beautiful new
dover, It would be PERFECT for our tamily
photos,_
And sinde I was <êitin<y -four e*ira sdrapbooks -for
FREE,I dedided"to <yveone "to Chloe,Zoey,Brianna
and Brandon, ioo•
Was { no-t BRILLIANT ©?! _
I'd make Chloe and Zoey eadh a spedial sdrapbook

abou-t our friendship.
And I knew Brianna would love anything wiih Prindess

Suâr Plum on ike do vet_
Bui iken | siaried ihinkin^ aboui Brandon- l/Vkai if

ke adiually ended up moving away?
| wanied io $ive him someikin^ io remind kim o-f our

-friendship and all ike -fun iimes we ’d kad-_ __ .
Like ike ari dompeiiiion,ike Halloween pariy and

ike iaieni show. And even ikai iime I adiually
ikou^ki I'd losi my diary ai sdhool!
Suddenly I siaried fed'ur^ really sad, ri^hi ikere in

ike Cold, Flu & Allergy medidine aisle, _
I really wantedto Kelp Brandon by skating in tke
Holiday on Ice skow._ _.....
But I was also stared -to deatk tkat I touldn t pull

it oft
Ifonly I tould-find someone to skate in my plated
| silked and tried to swallow tke kuê lump in my

tkroat-
Sometimes it -felt like I was tarrying tke wei^kt of
tke world on my skoulders,_
Just as | was about to 50 tkrou^k tke tketkout,J_

saw a familiar fate in tke lip 5I0SS settion of tke
tosmetits aisle-
ItwasMACKENZIE!!
My keart skipped a beat! Maybe tkere was kope

for Brandon after all- If I put aside my e$o and
simply asked EE6\6(EV ker for kelp, maybejske would
tonsiderskatinginmyplate-
*OM$l Mat&nzieU
here/ 1 said all friendlylike-
She looked at me and scowled- “Nikki. ijijf a*r YiPtC

doim^ here? Why aren't you han<yn<^ out * •-* *■«>r
dorky little -friends at /VjdTadoHut. or so**e* * ere?tf_
she said-___
I was dreading our donversation would &c <g. " • s

But it was my taultJ should have appealed to '£•«*
huê e$o and opened v/ith -flattery
'( absolutely love your lip $loss- The dc'c-r cn-ps

ôur eyes/' | oushec
uWelL you should trydthat new peadhy d© our

domplement your moustadhe hairs/*_
I dould NOT believe she said that ri^ht to my -ate
utfey, |ve seen PI^S wear Jip ^loss and look better
than yoJ” ] muttered under my breath
UWMT did you just say?/" she snapped

We staved at eaet othev- It was SO
54-0
I needed her Kelp so j lied throôk my ieeik^ u| said,
(Hey/ 1 see PIN^ lip oss looks 300d on yV)U.,w_
uUm, wKy are yo* even -biking io »»e, Mkki?"_
“Well, ii s aboui ttolicky on lie. I know you wanied io

skaie £o\r Fuz.z.y Friends. And now |;rr Kavin^ sedond
ikou^kis."
'YouVe ad-tually kavin$ iKou^Kis? IV impressed”_
t jusj ignored Key dommenj
“Mad&nzje, I wani io ask you a bi$ favour?”
uWKa-b? A donation io your plasiid-sunêyy iund

-Por ike \remov< kair?w
I ignored THAT domweni ioo-
“Would you iake my plade and skaie wiik Zoey and

Ckloe -Por Holiday or\ /de? We really need ikai money
Friends open-'"
Tm surprised you didn't just ask me.'
"I'vewantedto ask you since last week- VouVe one

of ike best skaters in the show- If I mess -this up,
Brandon will be Crushed ^ndi it'll all be my fault”
Madvenz.ie looked amused and smiled- "VES./ VouVe

absolutely torrect!” she said-
H0M6jl |s that a VES, you II skate fov me?” I

e*elaimed happily,_ _
I Could MOT believe Mac&nz-ie bad actually said yes!

It u/as a MIRACLE./
wUOj That'sa V^S, that Brandon will be CRUSHED

and it will be V0UR fault! Sorry, Nikki! But if you
were on FIRE, I wouldn't SPIT on you/"
"VVhat about Brandon? Then at least do it for Kim.

If anything happens to Fuz.z.y Friends, he's ôin^ to
be heartbroken/"
"I know!she said smugly- "Actually, |'*» Counting on

itf l/VHO is 30^3 "to be "there -for Brandon when be
needs a shoulder -to dry on after bis STUPID little
shelter dloses? ME! That s who! ,And -the best part
is -that he's 901 n3 "to HATE yÔU for leitin^ him
down.jAnd that's just the way I wan-t rtf^
Then MadKenz.ie dadkled like awitdh._
I just stood there in SHOCK!! _
I dould not believe anything breathing dould be

that £V\L. ______
It's ûite obvious that MadKenz-ie has set me up!

AfiAlNj! l’r* SO Sidk of her little mind âêsf
But I'm NOT ôin^ to êt MAV!
I'm 301 n^ to êt El/ENf
By believing in myself and skating my BUTT off!
/And I'm 30^3 to be STRONG}! /And FIERCE! /And,

of dourse, wear a SUPERCUTE outfit!_
551
I'll be move deadly -tba* -tba-t Tevmma-tov oûy.
I'm -to be • •
THE SKATBR-MTOR
Anyway, all -tbe sdrapbooks I made turned ou-t really
du-be-___-
And ibe pa$es Brianna dedora-bed -for Mom and Pad

nwevci ur» . . ■ <\ui~be • • . in-beres-binfy_
I flan io wrap all ike sdrapbooks and then deliver

Cbloes and ZoeyS on Cbris-bmas Eve-_
I dedided -bo jus-b leave Brandons in ike mailbox- ab.

Fuzxy Friends sinde Ke spends so mudb hirne bbere
anyway,
Now Kell Have a special place -to keep all Kis pkotos.
I jus-t Hope ke likes it.
©/
-g-...
-
TUESDAY' DECEMBER V*
Today is Cbrisbmas Eve/
One o-f Moms favouribe winber drafb projedbsjs

knibtin^ mabdbin<} sy/eaiev-s for our family,...
This year ib s. a fairly hideous snowman sweater

wi-tk» a sbrin^ of pi as-bid ornamenbs brimming bbe
dollar,-
Tbe sweaber is blue and has..one red sleeve, one <yreen

sleeve and a bu<ê 3>-D snowman on bbe fronE_
Our names were knibted in fifbeen-denbimebres-ball

yellow le-bters adross ike badlc_
| bbou<}bb abou-b sending mine off £0 guinness iVorld

Records as an enbry -for W^liesb Sweater in -bbe_
Risbory o-f Mankind- __
I didn b dare abou-b se-btin$ a redord- I jus-b wan-bed

■bo êb rid o-f bbe darn bbin^ before someone
adbually made me wear i-b- Bub ib was boo labe- • •
USV, HONE/' LET'S WE AJEAMlUt PICTURE
__ IN THESE PRETTY SWEATERS'_
D3d set up his d3mera, and we âihered in -froni o-f
our Chrisjr*as iree.
The* he set ike -timer and Quickly -took kis plade_

ng*i -to Mom.
“0kay^ Everyone say 'Cheese!'" he said,___
However, ri^hi be-fore ike -flask wenio-f-f, Brianna

mus-t have decided ske waited a liitle snack or _
sometkih^.
Because suddenly she -turned and yanked ai a dandy

dane hooked on a -tree brandh._ _ __
0M6j! | douldn i believe ike whole -tree -fell over.
li was ioially a Maxwell -family momeni-___
I laughed so hard my ribs kuri-
I have io admii, ihis -family poriraii is now my

-favouriie-
551
Unfortunately, Mom dedidecLwe looked £0_
AVORABLfc in oursnowman sweaters, ske wants_
us all to weav tkem to dinner at my aunt Makers
kouse tomorrow^____
■5«50
I was lil ©!! My aunt Mabel is MOT
exactly my -favouriterelative-
It was 50‘m^ to be like having dinner with AUMTY

£CR00$£!
THIS is tbe woman who STILL insists that I sit

at the dreaded KIDDIE TABU!_
leaked ri^ht out o-f me-
Just thinking about tbe kiddie table made me so

anxious I thought I was ôin^ to have a Complete
meltdown- —.--
To survive this ordeal, I was 3oin$ to need nothing

short ot a Christmas rwiradlef
WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER V=>
Today is ChristmasDay!_-__
Brianna woke us up by ban<ym$ on our bedroom doors

and sdreamin^ hysterically
Just like she does every year=_
And its always the E)<ACT same story. ^_
“Wake up, everybody! Wake_

up! Me and Miss Penelope
just saw Santa and his
reindeer leaving. They -View_
ri^ht oil our roo-r and over
Mrs Wallabanêrs house-
Wake up! Its an emergency!",
%
Then we all rush downstairs in our pyjamas to see

li'Z-i has !e£-t_and open our
As -4-a „ 3r anra ôi a ion o-f siu-P-f.
/ \
j / jM
&\ Vk
~~~
*v \$ uD
\ ' -J
L
FrSrfG
•5&I
Mom and Pad LOVfcV
and I made (v/hidh indWed -tKa-t Kilav-ious photo of
owv Chv-istmas tvee falling over).
MOM& PAP, LOVING TttBIR SCRAPBOOK

But ike very BEST present was
Sooh i-fc. was -time {,0 §0 -to my aunt Mabels -(-or ouv
Kpliday dlinoer- Dad says His oldes-t sis-bey is jus-b old-
faskipnedand kind p£skyid-t- Bu*tI -think ”sihridLM is
jus-t a nidey woyd foy "MBAMl_
Thanks, dear- Now, <y*it
Alerry slouching And dose your
Christmas./ mouth too/ Or you're gonna
Mp» says Aunk Mabel ad-bs like -bka-b bedause she

•thinkskids shpuld be seen and np-t heayd :_
Personally, I think Aunt Mabel just HATESkids
because sKe Kas nine o-f them._ .
QM^} if I âve birth NINE whole -times, | wouldn't

want to SEE them or HEAR them/ I'm just say in._
But $et this/ I'm fourteen years old- And that

EVIL woman STILL made me sit at tke KIDDIE_
TABLE!
Tke adults sat in tbe dining room at a hand-darved

antique table with 6jueen Anne dhairs, fandy pordelain
-plated dutlery,„
Tke kiddie table was a wobbly, dkild—siz-e dard table

dovered witk a worn-out bedskeet-_
iNe $ot paper plates, plastid forks and tkose

teeny-tinypaperdups(youknow,tkeonesyouuse
in your bathroom when you brusk your teeth).
And sitting at ..t.kfi_kiddie_ table while wearing rny

snowman sweater meant I was twide as humiliated-
MB, SITTING AT THEWVIB TABLE,
The whole thm$ was a very traumatid e*perieft£e.
Thank goodness -the food was delidious, or it would

have been a totallyworthless visit._
My aunt Mabel is as mean as a pit bull, but shes
an exdeilent dook-__
Anyway, I was really happy when we -finally made

it badk home, because I $ot -to play around with
my new phone-
I CANNOT believe all the too I stu-ft it has, like _____

Internet texting, email, instant messatyn^,âmes, a
damera, homework help, automatid piz.z.a delivery
and a teen-peer dounsellin^ hotline-
0M6)! If my phone paid an ALLOWANCE, parents

would be ObSQLBlEl
Brianna went NUTS bedause my phone dame

with the âme Prindess £u$ar Plum Saves Baby
Unidorn Island- I let her play it -for an hour ri^ht
be-fore bedtime and now she's, like, totally
doaicxeck . ..
My new phone is 301 n$ to save »nea ton o-f money-.
Now whenever I need to bribe Brianna to do

something, I simply pay her with* Prindess Suojav Plum
3ame minutes instead ot dask__
It took me a while to -figure it out, but I took a

pidtureo-f me with my pbone and sent it to Chloe,
Z-oe y and Bran don-_
They are ôin^ to

be supersbodked and
surprised when they
redeive it-
Overall, my
Christmas was
pretty 3ood-
It started
outside
and adtually
looked like a_
winter wonderland- .....
Then Dad lit tbe -fireplade and we all roasted

marshmallows together, A$ain| Only this -time Pads
ivousevs didî daidh on -five-_
I have to admit . . . Onde you <êi used "to them,

having a -family -to han$ out v/i-tK dan be kind o-f nide-
I wonder bow Brandon's Christmas is ôin^?
Lis really admirable ibai be helps oui bis

$randparents by volunteering ai Fuz.z.y Friends.___
I tbvow a bissy -fit when | have to dlean my room
and put dishes in tbe dishwasher_
| m SUCH a spoiled BRAT! >And I don't really

apprediaie tbe blessings I have, like my -family.
It's just mind-bo^glin^ bow he's lost pretty mudb

everything yet be doniinues to have so mudb to_
No*, THAT'S truly a CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!_
m
---
THURSDAY DECEMBER lk
Today wasour first practice session with Vidioria_

Steel, the Holiday on Ice show director and Olympic.
9old medalist -figure skater.
Everyone participating in the slKow reCe ived a

welcome letter and a list o£ nules:_
$11 we have -to do now is survive "three days of
pradtide wi-th \/idtori3._
MyJiiggest ■fear is -tha-t she? going -to kidk me....

out of -the show like she did -to -tha-t poor girl las-t
year. Chloe insisted it was probably just a rumour,
but I wasn't taking any dhandes. A-fter Sdrounging
around in our garage, I found the per-fedt dostume
-for our -first pradtide._______
I was a nervous wredk when Alom dropped me o-ff

-for pradtide at the.ide arena..___......
$11 | dould think o-f was Brandon having to start

a new sdhool in January without any -friends.
Sinde I didn't want anyone to see my dostume, I

avoided the drowded lodker room and got dressed
in a small bathroom on the -far side o-f the arena_
instead^
I stared at my re-fledtion in the mirror and smiled- I

knew I looked rididulous._ _ _
571
But if- my plan worked, at least I'd r*ake it tkrou^k
tke -Piv-st pradtide-
By tketime ( made **y way badk to tke rink, most

of the skaters were already on tke ide pradtisinfy
indludin^ Ckloe and ZoeyL
I was aâz-ed at kow tyradeful tkey were, and I

douldn t keif but feel proud of tkem-__
Near tke main entrande, a larê drowd surrounded

i/idtoria JSke was pretty and looked surprisingly
similartotke3'irl on tke dover of The Ite Prindess.
Fans took pidtures of ker witk tkeir pkones and

waited in line for an auto^rapk-_
And like a pop star, ske travelled witk ker own

entoura$e and sedujriiy detail_
As \/idtoria rusked past me ske took off ker

sunglasses and let out an irritated si$k__
"Lets $et tkis over witk| | just kope tkis tyroup

is better than last year s/ Can someone êt me a
water? I m about to die of thirst/”_
Hev staffers
a^d within thirty seconds two assistants and two
sedurity $uys offered her bottled waters.
H0M$! You e*pedt me to drink water from a

PLASTICbottl e?” she shrieked._
One thin$ was <ûiteobvious. The woman was a

spoiled diva/
The assistant diredtor asked all the skaters to take

a seat in the first two rows,.
fie then introduded f/idtoria as the skaters dheered
e*diiedly,
In spite of her meltdown over thebottledwater _

situation, she immediately plastered a fake smile on
her fade,
"So/ fVho'd like to impress me first?” she asked.

eyeing tbelist o-fnames on bev dlipboav-d- "Lets-
stavt v/itb a 3v-ouf. Hoy/ about. • ■' _
My Keavt skipped a beat-_
Please don't dall usf Please don't tall us|Please don t

dal I us! I dbanted inside my bead-
"• ■ -Cbloe, Zoey and NikkkJ'v-ont and dentre!"
Cbloe and Zoey *\uidkly sdrambled on to tbe ide
"tVby do I only see tv/o of you, instead of three?"

\/idtov-ia asked with a highly annoyed ^lave-
wUm . . Nikki should be here- Somewhere!" Zoey

answered, and ^landed nev-vously at Cbloe
"Here I am/' | said as I dav-efully made my way on to

tbe.ide-......
Cbloe and Zoey took one look at me, gasped and

shrieked
MKLMAL HAPPENED?!!
That's wke* I realised r*y fake cast made from

£oilei paper and -tape actually looked pretty real-
Especially witk Dads old crutckesfrom tkat tir*e
ke went buinêe jumping.
5*75
"Don t worry. It’s not as bad as it looks,” |
answered-
HQM6j! Is i-t broken?' Cbloe asked, ________
"You poor ibin^!” Zoey e*dlair«edL_
"I m FI MB! KBALLYI" I said, and kind o-f wicked-_

Cblpe and Zoey looked at r*e and -then ai eadb
otberj tbink -they $ot tbe bin*t-
"So, you're Nikki?” Victoria asked, stating *e dowrr

'Tm really sorry aboutyouraddident,but I have a
show-to run here- You -three are just 501*3 -to have
•to partidipate ne*t yeat^Sorry, îrls/^
"MO! PLEASE! Adiually, its jus-t a little sprain-

My dod-tor assured me I'd be -fine by—by, um . . ._
tomorrow,” | stammered-_
TbaLs when Viciotia suddenly narrowed ber eyes

ai mydastand stared a-t me suspiciously. "So, your
doctor, uses TAPE?! Then sbe put ber bands on ber
bips and yelled . ■ ■_1_
I dould NOT believe tKat dv-az.y lady adtually dal led
sedutity on me like tKat,SKe's NUTT-!!
"Chloe and Z-oey, $et into position - now/ | want

to see ..this.routine/” sbe scouted- "But fm warning
577
yoJ It TttRBfc ot you are HOT ready to skate
tomorrow, you II be disqualified/ Understood?”
Wenodded
As I hurried off the ice, I qave (

thu mbs—up, and they smiled at me nervously. As |onq
as | wasn't out there messing things up, they were
qoinq to do. -fine-.....__._.....
And I was ri^ht-They both skated -flawlessly, and
Victoria was both surprised and impressed,_
I decided not to hanq around -for the rest o-f the

practice sessionj'd had quite enough o-f l/ictoria
Steel -for one day and I was sure the -feeling was
mutual-
I hobbled back to the bathroom, anxious to ditch

the unCom-fortable Crutches and itchy cast. I_
was about to Call my mom to pick me up, when an
uninvited quest barbed in.
Itjwas MAC^BNZ-IE^ And boy, was she ticked/
570
I was 50'm^ -to ba-t **y eyes all mnoderrtlike a^d
dompleielyVfc^Yikewhole-fake-dasiihin$-
But then I realised my drutdhes were leaning against
the wall and I was standing there per-fedhly -fine on
my "injured” ankle- ______.-____
oops!/
Phoney ornot,MY personal healthissues were none

o-f MadKenz-ies business-
"Youre dallin^ ME a phoney?” I hu-f-fed- "Youre

wearing SO many hair extensionsand SO mudh_
lip ^loss, the -fire warden Has dedlared you a
-five haz-ard due ho a hi^h risk o-f spontaneous
dombustion/”
OMfil Madênz-ie was so angry I thought. her head

was goin^ ho explode
She shared ah me with ker beadyJittie eyes and

kissed, "I ye already warned i/idhoria about you-
Make one more wrongstep and she'll, hkrow you out
o-f this show -faster tkan a hen-day-old mouldy
»
piz-z-a
Then she -turned and sashayei
I ha-te it when Mad&nz.ie sashays/
1 £ould MOT believe she was -trying to boss me

around like -tha-t- I mean, jus-t WHO does she -think
s_ke_is?/ The ICBSKAmf POLICE?/_
Anyway, -the $ood news is -that I ad-tually survived

■the -firs-t Holiday on /le prad'bide session wi-th \/id-boria
-the Dragon Lady,
0MB down and TWO more -to ao.
©//
-»“¥
FRIDAYDSCBM BBR-tt
jAfter Vidtoria tkreatened us yesterday, I didn't

dare skow up witk tkat -fake dast a5am._ ___
I kad tossed and turned m ost of -the ni<}kt, trying

•to dome up witk anotker pla^._
But, the sad iruikwas tkatit was pretty mudk

over tor me
As soon as J/idioriatook one look at me skating

sdootin$around on tke ide, ske was 301 n$ to kidk
Ckloe, Z-oey and me ri^kt out of ker skow._
Arid it didn tkelp tkat

telling ker awful stuff about me. Like I stole »Z.ZN
Friends from ker and my broken le$was fake.
Well, okay/ So maybe tke broken ie$ ibinîVAS fake-

But sti 11 / It was none of tkat îtl/s business._
l/Vken Vidtoria started sdreamin3 at tke musid $uy,

tke li^kts $uy and tke wardrobe $uy (0M£j!iTkat
Crazy-lady did A LOT o££CRfcfiMlN$), I decided
-to sneak away and Kide ou-tjAf in -tKe sLands -fora
-few minutes.i
Then 1 could havemy massive panic attack in private-
[ was deep in thought, pondering mY M>el«s

situation, when a very -familiar voice startled *»&
»
like -to be an Ice Princess?
“BRANDON! What av-e you doin^ here?” I gasped,_
"I came to -thank you -for making me that awesome

scrapbook/ And -to cheer on Team FuzzyFriends/”
This <}uy was -too nice -to be real! The possibility that
he mi^h-t move away was just • • • -too depressing!
Suddenly 1 was overcome with emotion-I had £0. bite

my lip -to keep -from bursting into tears,_
Brandons warm smile slowly vanished, and .he just
stared at me in silence-
"Nikki/ jAve youokay? VVbat'swron<y-. • ?"_ _
Tm sorry, Brandon! Bui I don't k now jti- 'm ôin^ to
be able to earn that money to Keif Fuz.z,y Friends.

I'm just.. . . £0 sorry/ | really am!"
"Whai do you mean? No one e*pedis you io be a pro.
Jus-fc. beinc^ in ihe show is enou^L”_
^ lt» NOT. I have to be able io SKATE inihe

skow- AndLCAN’T! Bui I didn’t: know ihai ai ike
iime Lvolunieered io helpjlonesi/"
uCor«e on, Nikki/ You CAN’T be -that bad/”
"Brandon, lis-ten io me^JVn THAT bad/ No/ Adiualiy,

I’m W0RSE/ I seriously e*pedi -to <êi kicked oui of
ihe show afier we skaie ioday”_
Brandon blinked bis eyes in disbelief. _
‘Vidioria requires ihai skaiers be prepared io skaie

and I’m MOT! I dan barely s-tand on ike ide, lei alone
skaie on ii/” ..
We jusi sai ibere in.silende as ...ike., sheer hopelessness

of my siiuaiion sank in-
if J DIDN’T skaie, Fuz-z.y Friends would dlose and
Brand on would be moving
505
jAnd if I PIP skate, Fuz-z.y Friends would close and
Brandon would be moving
It was a LOSS-LOSS situation-
"I’m sorry, Nikki- I wish there was somethin*} |

CouldLdor •" Brandon muttered as be stared, down
at Victoria, who was now sCrea^m*} at the $uy
resurfacing the.iCe.____________
My heart started to found when she announced

over the sfeaker system that Chloe, Z-oey and i_
were uf ne%t-
Brandon <âve me a weak sr*ile-
"Break a le$| * a le$!

Sorry."
"Thanks/" | said, smiling at his little joke.
Brandon didn t know that I’d ALRSADY tried usin^

that "broke n le^" thin^ on Victoria- „___
Been there, done that!
When I <}ot down to the rink, I dould tell Chloe and

Zoey were supemervous too, but they were trying
their best not to show it-
u0kay, Team Fuz.z.y! djroup hu^!" Chloe said, and

did her jaz-z. hands to try to lighten the mood-__
Somehow i made it on to the ide and $ot into

position without falling-
lAnd just as our musid be$an, I saw Brandon approadh

\/idtoria with his damera and tap her on her shoulder-
When she turned around, he introduded himself and

pointed to his damera.
apparently, A/idtoria was immediately dharmed by his

professionalism, ôod manners and smile-_ _
Whidh was a really $ood thin^, bedause our skating

routine was NOT ôin^ so well— . -
BRANDON,Ett0I04RABftlN4VICTORIA
WHILE I FALL ON MV PACE_
Coincidentally lor not), Brandon’sJmpromptu photo

shoot lasted until the final note of our music. .
AndL whenVîd-tovia FINALLY -turned a .round•
We plastered bi^ smiles on our fades and strudk a

suyerFIBRCB pose,Like v/e v/ere tbe top three
finalists on Americas A/ext Tof> Model or something
W°\
Ho or\t ever would have guessed I had just fallen
four -tiroes during our £Kree=iwiryuie routine-_
0M6\\ Td spent so mudh -time sliding around on my

BUTT, it had frostbite-
Uidtoria just stared at us with -this strange look on

her fade as we Held our breath-
"djreat job, îrlsf/11she finally said, and -turned

to Ker assistant- "WHERE is my dappuddino? Am |
supposed to run this show AMD do YÛK job?!”
Brandon âve...me a huê. smile and winked-_
I wanted to MELT into a puddle ri^htthere on

tbe ide.
Of dourse, when I walked past MadKenz-ie, she glared

at me and held her nose,_______
But I already knew I dompletely STANK as a skater,
She didnt have to remind me- _ _ '..

weVe STILL in theshow.
Brando* is sudh a SWEETHEART^ I dould y>ot
believe be helped us out like that.
TWO practice sessions t)QWN.
And ONfc to 30^
W00=tt00«
©//
*11
SATURDAY* DECEMBER 2S
BRIANNA AMU I <|0 SLEDDIM}

(A TERRIPyi^ EXPERIENCE)
BRI ANNA, ARB you SURE ABOUT

DEAD MAN'S PROP? IT Ml$HT BE KINDA
SCARV FOR A LITTLE KID LIKE you/
SUNDAY, DECEMBER 1%
BKIANNA AND I $0 SLEDDING

_(A TERRIFYING EXPERIENCE)
CONTINUED
When we las-t saw our hevoes, Bvianna and Nikki,_

•they were speeding down a -towering di-P-f, ahou-t -to
flummei -to -theiv dea-ths. Bu-t jus-k when 'rtseemed
like -they weve VOOMfcV- ^__ __
TMMb
mmn December io
My parents’ priorities are totally strewed up-_
Mom Kadi to rush o-Pt to visit a -fvie^di who'd jus-t

had a baby,
An d Pad b a danemer<}endydal I-Promsomev»dVi

lady whose -Pandy dinner party bad been trashed
by some une*pedted guests. About two -thousand
3nts|
ûess WHO ô-t studk babysitting Brianna?
MB! That's who!
Even ‘though *tba*t meantI bad tobrin$ herwithme

io an ByJKBMBO/ important pradtide session at
the ide-skatin^ arena -that involved §?>>000 and
possibly LIFE and DEATH/
A new BABY is born somewhere in the world every

seven sedonds and ANTS will still be around even
a-Pter a nudlear war,
HOW in -the world was
MORS imfortant than wbat / was doin^?/
mu>sLfiaU mewhen youVe done with f^dt'ide,”

Mom said as sbefulled uf in -front o-f -the arena,. ..
'7\ndL Brianna, you be a <y?od <yrl and listen to your
sister, okay?>'
u0kay, Mommy/” Briannabeamed like a little anêL
TKen sbe turned and studk ber tongue out at me,_
"Nikki, dan I flay Prindess £u$ar Plum on your _

fbone?w Brianna asked as we entered tbe buildin3.
It was tbe -fi-ftb time sbe bad asked me that todays
MNo, Brianna, youVe here to watdb tbe ide skaters "
Cbloe and Zoey were already on tbe ide fradtisin$.

But when they saw Brianna, they rusbed over and
$ave ber a bi$ bu<y______
Brianna was tasdinated by tbe skaters and sat
i>00
quietly and watdhed J dould hardly believe she was
behaving so welL_
About twenty-five minutes laterlîjttotia Called our

names.
"l/VeVe up/" Zoey said with a nervous smile- “Are you

'ready, Nikki?"
I took a deep breath and stepped -forwards to meet

my destiny.J was so nervous, | thought I was ôin^ to
lose my E39 MdMu-f-fin-_ .___... _.
I'd managed to êt. through tbe -first two pradtides

without Victoria tossing me out- _
But short o-f a major mirade, I thought it was

-finally the end o-f the line -for me-_
Onde she actually saw me skate, or more dorredtly,

TRY to skate, I was £0 out o-f the show,_ _ _
“Einal call/" \/idtoria said sharplyZ'Chloe, Zoey and

Nikki*"
\tt, \Zi&toria watched-us like -
a hawk. I -tried my hardest MOT to fall
We were just about to $et into our starting

positions when suddenly there was a major disruption
-from the stands. . .
fWANW
SLIDE ON Ttt£ ICE TOO/
I skated over, gabbed Briannas band, and escorted
her back to her seat/
"Brianna/ Are you trying to êt us kicked out o-f

tbe show?” | hissed- "Sit vi^bt there and DOU’V_
MOV&*
£be $ave me her saddest puppy-do^ eyes. "But, Nikki/

I want to slide on tbe ide with you, Chloe, and ^pey/”
Victoria looked like sbe was 501 n$ to blow a .$adkfiL_

But since there was a camera cvew nearby, sbe just
stretched her lips into a Cold, manneûin-like smile_
and batted her eyes really -fast-__
As I turned to 50 back on tbe ice, a $uy in a bli*e_

unitor^ stopped me.
u£*Cuse me, but I have a flower delivery -for a

VictoriaSteelIt s-fromtbemayorsoffice-Iwas
told to leave them at tbe front desk, but its.__
closed. Do you know wbo sbe is?”
uSure, shes ri^bt oyer there,” I said, pointing.

Vidtoriaappeared-to be doin^ a* impromptu live
interview with a T\/ reporter.____
"Well, I don'twant -bo interrupther- By11 m running

behind sdhedule on my deliveries. Could you do me a
•favour and see tojiLtbat she $ets these?”
“No problem^” | said-
He pladed a beauti-ful bouquet o-f two doz.en pink

roses on the seat next to Brianna-
“Ooob/ Those are really PRETTY!" Brianna squealed.

w$re they yours?”
“No, they re -for that lady over there?M I said,_

pointing to Vidtoria. “I have to îve them to her ”
“Nikki, dan | <yve them to her?” Brianna asked

exditedly,.....
“Pont even think about it! Stay in your seat!”
Tbats when I $©t the most brilliant idea!' . ...
1>0*C
U$dtually, Briahna, it would be a B 16\ belpîf_
you'd -take these -flowers over -to \/idtoria!” I
said happily,
uôody ûmdropsf" sbe dheered-__
uBut | heed you to be really dareful with them-_

[V $0*1*3 -to wave at you wbeh it's time-Okay?';
"Okay- Can ! smeli them too? I bet theysmell like

eandy-flossl Or bubble $urJ"
I -took my plade oh the ide he*t to Cbloe ahd Z-oey,

but | was so hervous, j douldh't tbihk strai$ht-
Just as tbe musie was about to start. I waved_

at Briahna to si^hal ber to take tbe flowers to
Victoria-
Ohly Briahna just smiled ahd waved badk at me-_
I waved at ber a$ain ahd this time poihted at tbe

flowers- But Briahna just waved and poihted at tbe
flowers too,
JUST 4RSM-&U
As music blared over tbe speakers, Cbloe and Z-oey

moved gradef ul ly over -the iit- _ _
But I stood there in my pose, waving my arms in slow

motion and wishing | dould skate over and strangle
Brianna-
After what seemed dike JrORfcVBR, Brianna finally

got a dlue- She snatdhed up the bouguet of roses
and -trudged off toward l/idtoria,_
Brianna tugged on \/idtoria s doat, and when tbe

woman turned around, a wide smile spread across
ber fade,________
"Psst/" Cbloe whispered- "Nikki/ SÂTE /1
I took off gliding adross tbe ide^Jinmediately lost

my balande, and fell to my knees.
Brianna smiled and banded \/idtoria tbe bouguet_

of flowers,_'
"For me?'1 She pushed like she had just been
awarded another ôld medal or something-
Then | tripped ovct_Chlo.es. £oot, Collided with

Zoey and slid across the ite on my butt- It was . .
SURREAL./
i>Ol
Totally flattened by Bv-ianna s borrowed gift,
Vidtoria gabbed a pen and paper and gave Btianna
Her autograph--
And bedause Bv-ianna was equally as vain as tbe

delcktity skatev, ike insisted on îvin^ Vidtoria HER
autograph too-
Then Bvianna gave Vidtoria a big hug,
Ofdoursetbe TVdameras daptured every sedond-
It seeded like all that gushing, hugging and smiling

went on, like, FOREVER- Or at least, long enough
for us to finish our routine- ___
Onde again we strudk a FIERCE ending pose and

waited breathlessly for the verdidt-
l/VhenVidtoria finally turned around and faded us,

she was pradtidally glowing.
Fugging her bouquet in one arm and Brianna Jiuthe.

other, she smiled and said , , , '..
As Ckloe, Z-oey and f blinked i» astonisbiweirt,
Brian na dkeered -Por us. Very loudly-
But, key/ Who were WB -to .disagree with the <yreat
and wonderful \/ictoria Steel?
her, um • • • trusty sidekick, Brianna/
So ri^ht now I'm WOT /tka*t mad at Mom and Dad

about -tkis whole babysitting thin<y .
The amaz-'m^ thin^ is that I actually SUR\/|\/BD

TBREB whole practice sessions with THE Victoria
Steel BANSHEE Di\/A of tke -figure skating world!
Now if | Could just make it through our entire

performance tomorrow, Fuz-zy Friends Animal Rescue
Centre will be saved and Brandon wont have to
move away.
I'm so WOT looking forward to publicly humiliating

myself by tripping slipping and stumbling my way_
through our routine tomorrow- _
But Tmwilling to do whatever | have to do-
And IV STILL- really worried that Mackenzie is
LIO
some kind o-f stunt at -the lastminute
to $et us kidked out o-f tke skou/.
Even tkou^k ske kasVt said anytkin^ to me sinde

outJittle blow-up a -feu/ days a 30, eyety time I see
ket ske just staves at me tke way a yety kun^y
snake looks at a mouses_,_
Tkat 3ivl is RUTHLESS.
Ske* II do just about anytkin^ to anybody to $et

whatever ske wants.
I will be SO relieved wken tke Holiday on Iceskow

is -finally OVtR!
TUESDAY',DECEMBER 11
0M$! OM61! QM$! I dannot believe what just

happened! I $uess | should jus-t start at the
be<ynnin<y • •
Tbe Holiday on Ice show is well-known -for its

■fabulous dostumes- And -this year \/idtoria Steel
borrowed -them -from the private dolled-tion o-f a
■famous, award-winning Broadway produder-_
At %00 a m., everyone met with tbe wardrobe

manager -for a final -fitting and dostume dbedk. _
Chios,Zoeyand I were skating to tbe dlassidal

holiday piede uDande o-f tbe Su$ar Plum Eairy”_
-from The Nulcracker.
That was bedause Cbloe and Zoey were dyin$_

to wear a super^litzy dostume like tbe heroine in
The Ice Princess
l/Vell, my BEEs $ot their wish? Tbe lairy dostumes

Uidtoria seledted -for us were AMAZlN6\!
I almos-t fell ovev in shock when Mat&nz-ie anally
dorr.pliry>en£edi US.______-.-.—.-
*13
Shesaid she loved our ôrêousCostumes and they
were her very -favourites........
After. our fitting was over, we spent tke morning at

a swanky spa êttin^ manicures and pedicures- Then_
we visited a salon -for hair and makeup-
yVe were ready -for tke Cover o-f

6jirls Life maâz-ine!
After we grabbed a «\uicklunch,it was almost

2-iOO pm„ and time to kead back to tke arena to
$et dressed for tke A"00 p.m. skow.
Even though I was a nervous wreck about skating

in front of a thousand people, my only 50a! was to
finisk tkat routine- Even if it killed me-_
Then Fuz.z.y Friends would be awarded tke money

and Brandon Could stay at WCD ©J
But unfortunately, wkat started off as a <yreat day

was quickly ruined when we realised • • •
OMR £U$M PLUM FM/ COSTUMES WERE
MISSING!! AHP IN THEIR PUCE WERE . .
Mein we.re{
manager, sKe and ber sta-ff spent thirty minutes
4
seardbin^ -for our -aivy dostur»es._
But they were nowhere -to be lound-
I bad a sneaking suspidion /Vladlênz.ie hadômetbm^

•bo do with -bbe disappearande-_
snidkerin^ at ouv new dostumes- But I bad no pvoo-P

whatsoever.
Apparently, \/idtoria bad ovdeved -bbe downs and

three other dostumes bu-b bad dedided no-b -bo use
them.
All-bbe e*tradostumesbad been pidked up by a

delivery servideat noon to be transported badk to
New York City- But COMFPOl/V our dostumes and
tbe diown ones bad
This meant our beautiful Cuâr Plum Fairy dostumes

were already bal-fway badk to New York City by now-
We were devastatedjLCbloe and Zoey were so upset
they started to dry,.._...
"Come on, ûys|" | said- "Don t be upset-We dan

£XlLL.do„£kis!M
"But I was really looking -forward to bein$ an jde

Prindess|,; Cbloe whimpered-
"Me -too!” 'T'Oey sni-f-fed-
"But don t you see? This is about more than just

looking glamorous. Were doin$ this -for Fuz^.y Friends,
1>I1
Remember?/” I said, trying tocyiVe them a pep -talk
"And, yes, | know/” I dontinued- "These dlown

dostumes are freakishly u$ly, and well probably look
sdav-y and a JiitleJnsaneL And tke kids at sdhool will
make -fun o-f us -for the rest of the year, and we'll
frobably be an embarrassment to our parents. But
look at tbe bri^htside- • ”_
Cbloe and Zoey looked at me e*pedtantly^"What's
"Well, um ......... adtually. it s • ..... um. Okay^ So maybe

there ISN'T a BRIGHT side! But a lot o-f nide_
people and dute little fuz-zy animals are depending on
us/ Just ask yourself, what would Crystal Coldstone,
tbe Ide Prindess, do?”
Suddenly Cbloe wiped ber tears and pladed ber bands

on ber kips- "Well, Crystal would kidk butt and send
those Vambies padkin^l That's what she’d do/”
"And she'd wear a freakishly u$ly dlown dostume if it

meant saving humankind/” Zoey added- _
Then 'Z'Oey lowered ber voide -to almos-t a whisper.
uTKe ari of Jbhe dlown is more pro-found -than we
•think • • • (tis -the COMIC mirror of -tragedy, and
■the TRAGIC mirror of Comedy —Andre Suares"_
FINALLY'/ | seemed to be yttin^ through -to my BFFs-
MCome on, girlfriends/" I said, "LET'S DO THIS

rm^' .
Tba-t's when we did a $roup bu^/

It was a Settle weitd ô'm<y ttom glamorous
Suâv- Plum Fa i ties to a fatbetid dlown fosse,
but as we $ot dtessed we ttied to keef a positive,
attitude*.
new dostumes,
out otiînal musid and skating toutine
Esfetially s'lnee we'd been fvadtisin^ it -fot tbe fast

two weeks.
Soon Mom and Btianna dame badk to tbe dressing

too* to wish ms ludk- tVbenBtianna saw out new
dlown dostumes, sbe $ot teally e*dited-_
UFey, 9uess wbat? When I $tow uf, I'm ôin^ to slide

on tbe ide and be a sdaty, stuf id-looking dlown too,
just like you <\uys.^ sbe pushed- _ ......
I tbink that was a domfliment, but I'm not sute-_
Btianna fidked Mf *ypbone fto* tbe dtessin^ too*

table, and ber eyes lit uf-_
MO
uKo> Bvia*na- I •bold you N£\/£R -to -boudb >»y pbo*e
unless | say you dan- Remember?"
"Pve-tty please/" Btiawna wKined- uj promise I \won-b

break i£.; Then sbe sboved my pbone beb'wd bev badk
so I dould*-b readb i-b-
"MOM!” I whined even louder than Brianna.
"BriannaMa*welli"Mo** scolded- 'Vou know -the

rule- Your sister's phone is off-limits unless she $ives
you permission^Now hand it over!"
Brianna âve Mom her saddest puppy-do^ eyes and

then pouted like a two-year-old- But she finally
surrendered my phone, and I snatched it from her.
"Me and Miss Penelope think youVe aMBAMIB!”_

Brianna said, sticking her tongue out at me._
YOU and MISS PENELOPE dan_

"Fine. Then
NEVER, EVER play the Prineess Su$ar Plum 5ame
on MV phone for the rest of your LIVES! So
THERE!"
Then 1 studk my tongue out at both of them._
"Okay, <yrls/ That's enough!" Mom sdolded Brianna

and me,
I placed my phone badk on my dressing tab!e-

But when { saw Brianna watdbin^ me Jike a bawk, |
dute little fodket on my ba$ and
stut-fed my ba$ in my badkpadkwith tbejrest o-f my
dlotbes, .
Just as Mom and Brianna wev-e leaving tbe

assistant sta$e manager announded that tbe show
would be starting in -Porty—■(•ive minutes- AH ot us
skaters bad to dbedk in with tbe staê manager
across tbe ball,_
u| $otta 30 to tbe toilet/^ Bv-ianna wbined v-eally

loudly- *V0W!”
£be was SUCH an embarrassment^_
Cbloe showed Brianna and Mom tbe door to tbe

toilet in our dressing room._
Then we rusbed o(f to dbedk in-_ _._ __ _
l/Vben we dame badk to our dressing room to <yrab

our skates and start warm-ups, we saw a note
posted on tbe door,
The v/avdvobe rnanaêv had -found our Cos'turnes/
We were so happy, we did a ^roup hu$ and stavled
streaming-....
"QMG! They finally found •fchemfw I s£vear»ed._
"Just in -time!" Zoey streamed- _'_

“l/Ve're 30^9 to be |de Ptindesses a-fter a 11 / ^ Cbloe
streamed-
“LET'S SO!” I yelled as we-book o-f-frunning down

the ball. “We only have thirty minutes be-fove the
show starts/"
Suddenly Chloe stopped- .... _ _ .
uWai-t/ I'm 30'm^ to ^v-ab my phone so we dan tall ouv

moms and let them know they £ound ouv* Suâ** Plum
Fairy dostumes. Plus, we need to wash o-f-ftbe dlown
makeup and put on tbe •fairy makeup, and were $oin$
to need their belpf'*
“^reatidea!" Zoey and I e*dlaimed-__
Storage AreaC was on tbe other side o-f tbe arena,

near tbe hodkey player lodker rooms. AH team
pradtides bad been dandelled due to tbe ide show, so
tbe balls were dark, shadowy and strangely ûiet-._
“Is it me, or is this plade kind o-f dreepy?" Zoey said

nervously.
"MfeVejust joint) -to <jrab our Costumes and <jet out
ot here," Chloe assured her-
"Okay. Storage locker fourteen, -Pi-Pteen, sixteen," I

Counted out loud, "and seventeen/ Here it is, ûys/"
The closet was closed by a simple latch on tbe outside^
We opened it and peered in. It waseven darker inside.
"Don t be skurd!" I teased- "It s just a walk-in__

storage closet/' I said as we all stepped inside._
"Is there a li<jht in here?” Zoey asked-__
"Fey! Lets use my phone/' Chloe suggested- "It lights

up!"
She held it up hi^h in the Centre of the storage

area, and it cast an eerie $reen <jlow-_
"Thanks, that's a lot better/'.1said- "Okay, I see

hockey sticks, pucks and ice skates. But no Suâr
Plum Fairy Costu—"__1_
KLA-CMM!
Theclatterofûick rifthtoutside
the door and then
Chloe,Zoeyand I stared at one

as the gravity o-four situation slowly sank in- Then
we had a massive meltdown and started founding on
the metal door like era z-y-
"Help! Someone! We're locked in here! Let us out!

Help! Help!" we screamed -frantically.__
But it became <\uite clear pretty -fast that whoever

had locked US inside was not Coming back anytime
soon-...
We'd been set up. There were never any Suâr Plum
Fairy Costumes in locker IjL _
And all we Could do was watch nervously as the <yreen

^low -from Chloe's phone $ot dimmer and dimmer._
«
Sorry, $uys. I think I -forgot to charge my phone-
But I "think I dan make three or four tails before it
3©es dompletely deadi.__„A^y suggestions?"
For about thirty sedonds it was so <ûiet in the

room you dould hear a fin drop.
"Lets try tailing our moms -first/ Zoey offered-
{6\ood idea,/" Chloe and I agreed- _.. .
But it wasn ■t- All three of their phones went straight

to voitemail- Whith meant they,were probably already
turned off so as not to rin$ during the show.
Still, we eadh left a detailed message- _
The 6j00V news was that at the very worst, our

moms would retrieve our messages AFTER the ide
show was over and dome looking for us._
So it was just a matter of time before we 3°t

resdued.r...._._._____....-.-...
But the BAV news was that we were ôin^ to be

stuck in -the storage locker -for tw*> very lon<^, dark,
spooky hours un-til they showed up-
"Onetall left-if were lucky/” Chloe announced,

staring at Her phone,
uWell, I think we should call ^llf” Zoey said^_
"True, but by the time they $ot us out of here we’d

still miss our performance,” Chloe reasoned,_
"Yeah, the show starts in fifteen minutes,” I said,

looking at my watch,. __ _
"Youre ri^ht,” Zoey Conceded- "And it's 30'm^ to be

pretty darn embarrassing when they show up with
three police cars, two fire trucks and an ambulance
just to unlatch a storage room door- Well never live
it down ”
'They II probably £T|LL be lau^hin^ at us at our hi^h
school graduation,” Chloe mused- "I*d rather just wait

for our moms to $et here after the show”
I dould MOT believe I bad dome "this far only -to be
studk in a storage unit insidetbeidearena withtbe

show startinîn. twelve minuses.
I $ot a buê lump in my tbroat thinking about

Brandon. Mow be was 301 n^ to bay eto leave bis bome
and -friends at WCD and start over aâin-_ __ ..
I felt terrible for bim-But I was powerless. Si^nin^

up for this stupid show was a HU£jF mistake,_
If only I'd just let /Vlad&nz.ie skate for Fuz.z.y

Friends like sbe'd wanted- Then Brandons life_
would not have to be turned upside down a5ain- My
beart burt just tbinkin^ about tbe stu ffbeldbeen
through,
He bad lost bis parents, and I totally took mine

for granted-_
Hot tears beân to stin$ my eyes, but I blinked

them badk_Lbeard Cbloe and Zoey starting to
sniffle too-
Btanclon was 501*5 toleave just when weweve
siarti*5 -to 5rt to know eatbother-_
Bvianna was suth a BRAT to Kim, but be still 5ave bet

that dute tbankyou note -from tbe puppies and—_
t>iz
Thai s when a liitle ligbibulb weni on in my brain^
MAMMA THB BRAT?!

yes' My nvity. little sisier, wbo I dould always
douni jo be a ioial PAIN in ibe buit._
wCbloe| fve goi an idea.^ Dial my pbone number!

ûidkf Be-f ore your pbone dies/"
uWbai? Bui wby?" Cbloe asked- "Didn'i you leave ii in

ibe dressing room? Every one was supposed io be dressed
and d I eared ouiofibereibiriy minuies a 50”
wl. know! Jusj dall^ PLEASE! Were running oui oi

iimei Tbe show siaris in ien minuies!”
Cbloe and T'oey siared ai me like I was nuis._
Finally Cbloe shrugged, dalled my pbone and pui ii on

speaker so we all dould bear._
I had se-Lit up so "thai \{, y/ould' 50 -to Voidernail on
-the fifth jcmgi.
"Please answer! Please answer!" | pleaded aloud-_
|*t ran^ a four-th -time- Then • • •_
"Hello! Who is -this?" said a small, squeaky voide-
0M6j! BRIAWNAl You Kave my tell

pko*e?f TKank goodnessf
Chloe a*di Z-oey started sdreamin^ e*ditedly -too-
"Sorry, but ibis isn't r»e," Bvianna Continued.

"Jm not borwe v*i^bt now because I'm waiting for
Nikki to skate- Please leave a messa$e^ £joodbye.^
"M000/ Don't Kan^ u,p//" we all shouted desperately-
uPlease, Brianna.^ Listen to me! Don t ban^ up!” |

be^ged^"! was just dalling to tell you that, um, you
dan play Prindess Sugar Plum on my phone while we re
sliding on the ide, okay?"
Long sjiende- "Really?"
"Really/"
u£joody gumdrops/ Can Miss Penelope play too? I told

her not to 'borrow' your phone and play the Prindess
Sugar Plum game, but she did it anyway- It's all HER
fault, not mine- But she's very sorry/"
"Sure, Brianna, Miss Penelope dan play too "

"Okay/ Tkanks/ BY#"
"WAIT!!” I sdvea»wedi- "I need -to talk to Morn or

Dad/ J-t's ah emerjensy"-
Daddy weni -to 50 êi me popdorn- $nd Mom is

ialkin^ io ibailady from balled dlassmtkike bi^
•wouik IV noi supposed to inierrupi Mom aâin, or
else- Bui ûess wbo | see walking by? It's BRAMDQH
Tttt COOTIB 61UY! Hi, Brandon ibe Cooiie %!
lisme! We ialked on ibe pbone, remember?/ Nikki_
was in ibe sbower and ibai dead squirrel was in Mrs
l/Vallabanêrs badkyav'd/
Muff Ied voides- _ __ __
I dould HOT believe Bv-ianna was idling all of our

personal business like ibai-
MBriar.na! BRIAHHA!” I yelled-
uWtfjAMT/" sbe buffed- ..
"Can you 3'ive ibe pbone io Brandon ibe Cooiie

6\uy?J need ■bo -talk -bo Kim. 0kay?" I said
"l/Vell, just -for a libtle bib- I'm supposed bo be

playi*3 Pvindess Suâ'r Plum on bbis pbone- Hold on”
More mu-Pfled voices..
"Hello, Nikki'"
“Brandonf 0M6j! I/Ve re sbuck in.a sbora$e locker in bbe

arena! Storage AreaC, locker sevenbeen-CKIoes pbone
is aboub bo die any minube- Please tome êb us oub|w
wWliAT? Wbeve did you say you weve,?M
"Were sbuck in a—” _ _ __ .
Tbabs when bbe babtevy died on Cbloe s pbone and

ib y/enb dead.:.........-...-.
Tbe bbvee o-f us jusb sab bbeve in bbepibcb-dav-k,

shunned and speechless_
We bad no idea wbebber or nob Brandonbad beard

a«y ot the derails about where we were. But just
when we weve about to $We up hope ..— __.. _
The show was starting in four minutes.-_
We raded badk “ho ouv dressing room and grabbed

out skates and diown wigs, with Brianna tagging
along.
fiev- eyes lit up when she saw the huge, dolourful

gift-wrapped box. "Nikki, dan I have that really
big present?w
"No, Brianna, it's empty- That s just a prop for

downs to use-”
"I wanna be a down TOO!" She pouted-
That s when Chloe, Z-oey and I got the exadt same

idea at the exadt same moment-_____
| guess the old saying "Brilliant minds think alike”

is true-.
The arena was filled to dapadity,and the..

exditement was so eledtrid you dould feel it in
the ait
Several lodal -television stations *
live.,
\/idtoria Steel,looking more $lam than ever, warmly

weldomedthe audiendeand endouraêd them to_
donate generously to the dharitable organisations
bein^ represented in the show._
Then she made a surprise announdemcnt- UTo show

our dommitment to your dommunity, in addition to
the three thousand dollars that eadh organisation
is redeivin^, Holiday on /de is ôin^ to award an
additional ten-thousand-dollar dash priz-e to the
drowd.rfavouritew.. _....._.
At. that news, the entire audiende stood up and

dheered like drazy, _ _ _
Talk about drowd partidipation/
This was turning into A^&citar\ Idol
OnlCBl..._____
M*0
The bi$ dash pri« sounded exditin^ and all-And I
was sure Fuz-zy Friends dould use it
But my personal 30aI was simply to tvy to «êt

through the entire routine and perform well enough
to be awarded the §?>,000.
Soon the lights dimmed and the ide show ôt

under way-
I wasn t -the least bit surprised to see that

Mad&nz.ie had been selected as the openinq adt_
She skated to musid from Swan Lake and was
AWZ&QMEl
And when she finished, the audiende $ave her a

standing ovation.
As far as | dould teli, Mad&nz.ie was pretty r*udh

a major dontender for the drowd favourite award-
She knew it too, bedause she kept posing and waving
to the audiende- - -... .. .
M-z
When Madênz-ie dame o-P-P -the ide, she looked really
shodked and. surprised to see us in the waiting area
badkstaê,__
I smiled and waved, but she just studk her nose in_
the air and walked ri^ht past us._
“MadKenziej youVe a votten little sneak. That was

a new LOW -Por you. Youve obviously hit rodk
bettojân^LstartedJ^jij^TâiiLrL^ht toL_heir_
fcjdg,_
She whipped av-ound and sneered at me. "You say

thai like its a bad thin^, Adtually, I was just_
trying to do you a -Pavour by saving you and your
little -Priends -Prom publid humiliation^ But i-P you
insist, 30 ri^ht ahead-jL^SERS/''_
I was a
nervous wredk.
My knees were wobbly even BEFORE I ôt on

the i£e,
m
As we waited for the musid to start, Zoey <âve
Chloe and me a bi<^ Smile._
Xkenshe whispered loudly, “Every human being is a

down but on ly ie w have -the dourage to show it —
Charlie Rive|.w _
I smiled- ‘Thanks, ’Z'Oey!"
Oft14! The butter-flies in my stomadh were so bad

I felt like I was going to lose my lundh right on the
ide in front of the audiendfi,_
That s when Z-oey whispered even louder- UA dlown

is an angel with a red nose — J- T ‘Bubba' Sikes”
I was like, “PUtt-LEEZBf Enough already, Zoey-

It was dute the first tune, but the philosophidal
CLOWK—ISMS are starting to get on my last
l»
nerve*
But I just said that inside my head, so no one

heard it but me
I was actually pretty lutky to have a BFF like Her.
As the musid blaredover -the speakers, Chloe
a^clZoey -floatedadross -the ide like yade-Cul

butterflies.
0kay Like yadeful butterflies wearing stupid dlown

iOS-turneS.
l wassupposed tozjy but I za§y*L
Or was { supposed -to 2â^ bu-t I zj^ged?
In any event, I tripped, -fell on my bu-tt and slid across

"the ide at nin ety miles per hour like a human bobsled
Then, 3AM!! 1 trashed ri^ht into the hu$e $ift we

were usin^ as a prop,_
Chloârvd Zoey loaked^totally stunned and stopped

skating-
I -feli so -tevvible aboub, r*ess'm^ up ouv vou-b'me, I
\m3j5£ed -bo Lyy. Mad&ttz.ie was ri^b-b^ All we were
dom^ was making -fools o-f ouvselves,_
H7
I Kal-f exped-ted -to Kear Vid-torla sKriek,
o-£ my ide/w
And onde we were kidked ou-t o-f "the show, Fu^zy
Friends wouldi dlose and Brandon would be -forded
-to move-
I would probably never see Kim
ljus-t sa-LiKere s-tunned, -too exkaus-ted ho <ê-t up.
Bu-L-tka-ts- wkert I no-tided -tKe mos-t amazing -tKin^
TKe en-tire audiende v/as LAU^HINdj-
And all -tKe li-ttk kids were on -tkeir £ee-t poin-tin^

and dapping
Apparently, ikey tkou^k-t me skidding adross -tKe ide

on my behind and almost dvadkin^ open my skull was
fav-t of a li-ttle domedy ad-t ov some-thin^
Then i-t odduvved ■to me -fcha-fc. we WERE wearing_

dlown ou't-f i'ts.
DM/
And dlowns were supposed -to be funny/
DUtt!
And -they were always falling on -the ground and
knodkin^ eadh other ovefc_
putt!
I -think Chloe and Z-oey mus-t have no-tided -the
drowd s read-tion and dome -to -the exad-t same
dondlusiom
The dv-owd seemed -to L0\/E U£//

From that point on, we totally hammed it up.
The Crowd jwent KA-RAY-ZBfc when we

started doin$ -funky dance steps from ouv- old
Ballet of the Zo rabies routine, jjm ûessinc^ it
was probably because no one bad ever seen
ZOMBIE CLOWblS do the mOMALt in
ICF S^TFS before!
i even threw in a few danCe moves from that

time Brianna and I performed LlVfc at Queasy
Cheesy!
I felt so happy and related that, suddenly, skating

just wasnt that difficult for me anymore- _
It almost seemed to dome naturally- _
FINALLY'/ ______
The strange thin^ was that .1 .didn't accidentally fall

down, not even ObICB, for the entire two and a_
half minutes that remained._
I only FELL DOWH on PURPOSE!
To make tke dvowd lau^k-
Hey! I was a dlowJ
It was my JOB!
As our musid ended I wanted to keep skating_
This was tkemost fun Ckloe, Z-oey and I kad ever

kad toêtker-
But tkeres more^
Tke drowd 3ot an une*pedted surprise wken a

tiny little dlown popped out like a demented
jadk-in-tke-bo*- • .
I $uess you dould say ske stole tke skow. . .

ME, CttLOE, ZOEV AND BRIANNA
_A SUPERCUTE CLOWN POSSE
is?
We totally nailed that las-t pose, and the audience
went WILD//
After we §ot oftthe ifce, we were SO happy? We

did a $roup hu$ with Brianna and Miss Penelope/
I didnt think our day £ould $et any better* but it

did- djuess who won audiende favourite and a dhe<\ue
•for $10,000( or Fu2L2.y Friends/
The whole -time we were êttin^ our pidture taken,
Maddenzje was ^lari^ at me-.
I waited to walk up to her and say, "Hey, whats
mom VoU /HAD, girlfriend? Huh? Js that it?

/ou MADlUl
But I didn't- Because / was. trying to be nide and

show côod sportsmanship.._
In spite of the fadt that SUB was the biggest

emrtR on the planet//_. _
I douldn't believe she stole our dostumesAND lodked

usir> that storage room.______
But her evil little plan totally BACKFIRED on her.
CLOWNS knodkin^ eadh other over and sliding..

around on their butts is really FUNNY stuff-
But prissy Sugar Plum Fairies doin$ the same thing?

Not so mudh./
Just as | was doming offtbeide,| saw Brandon,....and
be looked SO bappy,_ ______
1 almost DIED when He banded n»e a beautiful

bouquet of flowevs._
"Congratulations, Nikki./" Brandon said-
“Thanks, Brando*/ This whole thin<} has been

unbelievable"
"I heard there was a mi*—up vui-tk your dostumes too-

But I knew you d be okay^You $uys totally rodked
the idej"_
. IV just kafpy we were able

to keep Fuz-z-y Friends open so tkat your <yran - er,
I mean Betty - dan dontinue to take dare o-f tkose
animals/' | said; and plastered a bi.$, dopey
adross my tade-
But deep down inside l^dtiêd and wanted to kidk

myselt tor almost reterrin^ to Betty as Brandons
<yrandmother.__ __
It S weird; but tke more IVe $ot to know Brandon,

tke MORfc questions | kave about wko ke really is.
And the LAST tkin^ ke needs ri^ht nowis some
busybody snooping into his personal business and
ôssipin^ behind kis badk-_
I've personally lived tkrouc^k tkat witl
/Wad&nzie, and its been TORTURE-
So for now, I know all I need to know- tkat

Brandon is an AMAZIN4 end wko's at ways there
whenJ need him. And I'm happy I was able to be
there -for kim too-
I hugged my bouquet, of roses and buried my -fade in

"tkem._______ ____
I inhaled their sweet, romantid fragrande, awed by

how mudhthey smelled like perfumey• • • um . . ._
roses...........
uWell, thank you -for all your kelp, Nikki, you're - - -

AWESOME.!'' Brandon gushed-
I blusked profusely._
Tken ke gave me a big hug/
QMfi! I thoughtI was going -to pee my pants.._._

BRAMPM- ACTUALLY. HMdjdjED. mil
But now I'm even more COKFUSE
Because I dont know if_.it was a ,..___ __
VouVe my
0* a “VouVe w>y v-eally 6\00V> -fv-iencl^ ku<^
0v- a 'YouVe MORE tkan a $ood -fv-ie^cl^ ku$f!
fit a YouVe my GIRUFRIMD” hÛ
But I dan t^
Because TBEK he'II know •
I really want to
nnfl him Knowing <il l O* this wouia just maice me_
suPemneirvous.
WKidK sc>unds \realllv dvaz-v-
Ri<\M:?
Son-v, 1 da^'t Keh? rfc._
_ i 'M SUCH A DORK'll

i
_i /
♦ ♦
Rachel Renee Russell * a, attorney
wko prefers writing tween books to legal briefs-
(Mainly because books are a lob more -Pun and
pyjamas and bunny slippers aren b allowed in dourb)
Sbe bas raised bwo dau$bbers and lived io -bell_

aboub ib- Her bobbies indlude (yrowin^ purple flowers
and doin^ bobally useless dra-Pbs (like, -for example,
making a midrowave oven oub o-f lollipop sbidks, ^lue
and ^libterXJâdbel lives in norbbern \/ivînia wibb
a spoiled pe-b Yorkie wbo berroriz.es ber daily by
dlimbin^ on bop o-P a dompuber dabineb and pelbin^
berwibbsbu-p-Ped animals while sbe wvibes. jAnd,yes,
Radbel donsiders bersel-P a bobal Pork-
Visit the Dork Diaries webpage
“pork Yourself "

w'«l3et that lets
you create your
°wn Doric cartoon
irvfo on
Rachel Renee Russe
✓ >
/ Read Nikkis\ Download
I Secret blog j DORK DIARIES
and ask her wallpaper for
' auestions 1 your computer!
V /
fonnect
submit w‘th other
your own j Tans of
Get involve*
ork diaRie^ /the series
with exclusr
■ an artwork online storie
and videos
Bown/oad
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competitions
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SIMON
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Cover illustration by Rachel Renee Russell

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Pork Piaries: Party Time

Pork Piaries: Hov/ io Pork Your Piary

Copyright © Radbel Renee Russell ZOil and ZOlZ

No reprodudtion without permission-

Simon f Sdbuster UK Ltd

Simon f Sdbuster Australia, Sydney

This bdokr ls a work oF Fidtion.T^amev^ara^

to adtval people hvtn^ or dead, events or lodales is entirely domdidental

printed and bound by CPI ^roup (UK)-Ltd/ Croydony-CR^ 4''/^

£jrab your microphone, warm-up

-those vocal chords and je-t ready

-to rock in Pork Diaries: Pop £iar...

Not only did I Kave a FANTASTIC time atthe

By Tike/ I mean as a REALLY good -friend-..............

Definitely NOT as a serious girlfriend or anything-

WIT/? Mostly because Tm the biggest DORK in the

And with three spots, two left feet, one Cruddy.

A*d Pm HOT hopelessly addicted to spending

UNLl^E some people I know- • •_

"People" bein^. shallow, sel-P-tentred $ir|s

But. I m HOT intimidated by her or anything. Like,

It would have tbe amaz-in^ power o-f Cinderellas

Something like, I dunno,maybe •

MAXWBLL'S ENCHANTED LIP

My spedial lip ^loss would make eadb and every <yrl

(WE SEE A POPULAR

(WE /WA^ICALLV see

Endkanted Lip £jloss &oz% HOT

I would to My FMAK if Ke actually did. But IV.

WOW AM you SUPPOSED TO WHEN A.

CRUSH |$ TEST Carefully examine tke f o|lowing

VVkidk, un-fortunately, means your drusk basidally

(Thai was me tea^in^ my kair outjn-frustration!)_

Ludky -for me, my BFF Ckloe is a* exfert on ^uys

And my otker BFF Z-oey is a kuman l/Vikipedia and a

Tke tkree o-f us are 301*3 to meet at tke mall

Cansomeone PLBASB tellme WWY n»y life is so

Even when something FINALLYgoes R|£jHT,

My mom was supposed -to be -taking me -to -tbe mall

In spite of her Cute little angelic fade and pink

There was no way I was goingto hangout with my

So I told Chloe and Zoey Td try to meet up with

Tkank goodness tkat water was really skallow/

Tken I made tke mistake o-f askir>^ Brianna wkat

"Can t you seeJi's an emergendy?/ A »»ean old

Hey, you ask a S|LL>/question, you get a SILLY

I dragged ker out of tke fountain and made ker

So, -to distradt her, I suggested we -take a little_

That's when Brianna started egging me to take her

I don't have tke slightest idea why little kids love_

Personally, I think its superdreepy tke way their_

Maybe it's just me, but WWO would actually want_

My parents always insisted be was just a figment

OMfi! Iwas absolutely TERRI FI ED he'd ^rab my

£*deft maybe during thunderstorms on really dark

Anyway- I was like, "Sorry, Brianna!I don'thave

"But / dan fay tor it!” Brianna whined- "With my

That's when I notided that all of Brianna s fodkets

My little sister WASN'T "a ridh feofle frantically”

But she D|D have enough loose dhan^e to buy us a

Just as we were •finishing up our meal, a waitress

I was like, “Oh, CRUVH” Briamna amd I were sitt'm^

There was just NO WAV I was 301*3 up on that