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uThandolwami by Siyamuu Tshabalala
Prologue
Thandolwethu's pov:
"Princess hurry up,it's getting late" I shout from the lounge
"But daddy,I have to put all my dolls in the car!" she shouts back
from her bedroom
"I'm giving you 5 minutes and then I'm leaving you behind" I
shout back and I wait for her in the car.A few minutes later she
hops in with more than 10 toys. I look at her amazed.
"Daddy let's go,we don't have much time" she says looking so
cute and beautiful at the same time. Ayi madoda,my creation. I
drive off to Sandton City Mall where her spelling bee will be
taking place. As soon as I park she jumps out and opens my
door for me. I laugh,this child.
"Let's go then smarty pants" I say still laughing. She suddenly
becomes quiet. That's unlike her.
"Don't worry princess you'll do great" I say. She smiles and
nods. We get to the Book Store and go to our reserved seats.
It's finally her turn,I kissed her chubby cheeks and her forehead
and off she went to the front.
After 2 hours the judges have to decide the winners.
"In 3rd place Okuhle Majola. Let's give him a round of applause"
says Ms Smith,the MC
The audience applaud.
"In 2nd place Snothando Sangweni. Round of applause please"
the audience applauses and I stand up and shout "That's my
princess" the other parents laugh and my baby smiles widely.
I'm proud of her. There's nothing that makes a parent happy
than seeing their children happy.
"And in first place Lindiwe Zulu. Congratulations Lindi" Ms
Smith says
We go take pictures and the program ends. She got a prize. A
gift card of R250 at the Book Store. I take her shopping for some
clothes and toys. Some people stop and ask for a picture with
us and well sometimes it's annoying. I just want to spend time
with my daughter but my bodyguards got it covered.
"I'm so glad we're done shopping because I am famished" she
says and I laugh
"Ayibo Princess where did you learn such a big word?" I say
while still laughing my ass off.
"Dad I came second in the spelling bee and next time I'll come
first,what did you expect?" she says smiling from ear to ear.
Gosh she's just as arrogant as daddy.
We finally decide to eat at Wimpy and then make our way
home. We have to go back to Durban before it gets too late. We
get home and Aus'Lolo has cooked dinner and it smells
absolutely divine. Aus'Lolo is my helper. She is in her mid 40's.
We greet her and sit down to eat while conversing and laughing
throughout. Halfway through our meal Snothando falls asleep
on the table. We laugh and I take her to bed while Aus'Lolo
cleans up. I put her in her pyjamas and tuck her in her bed. I
watch her for a few minutes admiring this sight infront of me
and then kiss her forehead and head out.
I am Thandolwethu Sangweni. I am a music producer,an
influencer,a Youtuber and I'm 25. I'm a single parent. Well my
love life is complicated but I have a big family. Sit back and chill
as I take you through my journey of life.
Chapter 1
Thandolwethu's pov:
"Daddy!" Snothando literally screamed when she saw me
coming through the door. She hugged me tightly making me
feel fuzzy inside
"Hey princess ka baba,how are you?" I smile at her
"I'm good,I just missed you so much. I mean I love living with
gogo but I miss you sometimes" she gives me a puppy face. I
miss her too,all the time.
"We're still here njalo nathi" my mom says rolling her eyes
playfully. She comes up and hugs me
"I know you missed me" I say with a smirk . I continue hugging
all my aunt's and cousins. We're having a family braai for my
mom and dad's 15th anniversary. There are so many of my
family members here. It's packed,with kids running around but
it's so weird that I haven't seen my dad and my siblings. I walk
into the backyard and spot them near the griller. I bro hug my
dad and my older brother and my younger brother.
The first born is Ntokozo and he is 28. I am the 2nd born and I'm
25. Bayanda is the 3rd born and he is 22. Then there are the
princesses of our family. Lihlithemba and Sinethemba who are
20. They are identical twins.
"Ntwana yami,nigga lami" says Ntokozo my older brother
"Weeh lama khehla(these old men)" my younger brother
Bayanda says while laughing. We chase him around the yard a
little. I'm so childish around my family. I love it,being myself
"Where is Lihle and Sne?" I ask confused but not surprised.
"I sent them to buy your grandma some headache pills" says
dad
"Whoa is grams okay?" I ask worriedly
"Yes,don't worry but go see her in her room. She's been waiting
for you" Ntokozo says running away after touching my cheeks
just like how grams likes touching them. This fool. So you're
probably wondering,how big this house is. My parents house is
big,it has 10 bedrooms,4 bathrooms,a games room for Princess
and Ntokozo's 2 children,Ntokomalo(girl) and Ntobeko(boy),2
kitchens, a lounge,the dining room and then the TV room. Oh
and a pool outside. We all have our own bedrooms when we
come here.
I get in and grams is staring at the ceiling. I smile a sad smile,she
smiles back when she notices me.
"Don't give me that sad smile,until you meet your soulmate I'm
not going anywhere" she states leaving me confused. What is
that supposed to mean?
"What do you mean khulu?" I ask genuinely confused
"Look at how skinny you are,you need a wife" she says laughing.
I laugh with her but she's ignoring my question as always.
We walk out of her room and luckily for me,it's time to eat.
Snothando sits next to me and on my left side is Lihle's
friend,Uyanda. She keeps touching my dick under the table and
I'm getting harder by the second. Luckily I'm not wearing tight
pants. I remove her hand and give her a stern look. I would love
this but not infront of my daughter. She smiles I mean she's not
that beautiful either. It's just the make-up. Also,don't we gents
love a challenge?nothing like a girl acting like she isn't into you
when she really is. We finish eating and then we,the youngster's
ofcourse,start drinking like there is no tomorrow but I have to
limit it since Princess is around.
"Yho DJ Siyamu surely knows her way around groove. She's at
Konka right now,in Soweto" Bayanda says getting excited
"We could go there now dudes. I mean the kids are sleeping
and the parents are probably busy with their own stuff" says
Ntokozo with begging eyes. This dude,you wouldn't tell he's 28.
I agree. We then take Ntokozo's Red A45s Mercedes Benz 2020
model and drive to Soweto since we were still in Joburg. We
had to enjoy. We get there and it's packed. It's me,Bayanda,
Ntokozo and Kuhle(our cousin). We pay R600 for the entrance
fee. Nice place this is. We get to the VIP area and we're so close
to DJ Siyamu and she's doing the things she's supposed to be
doing. People are dancing and having fun. I've got to say I've
never really seen her in person and she's so much prettier real
life. I'm brought out of my train of thoughts by someone
shaking me.
"Thando man wussup now?who you thinking about?" Ntokozo
asks laughing
"I never really thought she's this beautiful in real life" I say
honestly and they laugh,these dudes are hopeless. We order
bottles of Dom Perignon and Ace of Spades,yes those R16k per
bottle champagnes. These dudes invite some girls and the
conversation is flowing but I keep admiring Siyamu. In about 30
minutes she's done and I see she's coming this way with her
manager,my childhood friend Sandile.
"My man,Thando the playboy!" says Sandile. Why did he say
that infront of her?I mean not that I like her or something,
actually I don't care about her or what she thinks.
"How you doing bro?it's been so long" I say and when I look at
her,her back is facing me and she's talking to the phone but
damn that ass. Yhuu that mami got a fine fat ass.
"I'm good,you can stare but you can't touch" he says laughing.
This jerk. I just laugh it off. She finally removes the phone from
her ear and comes towards us.
"Siyamu this is Thando my childhood friend and Tman this is
Siyamu" she smiles and I see dimples but they're not that deep.
She's really cute. She side hugs me because she's carrying her
phone in the other hand. I introduce her to my brothers and
Bayanda goes crazy.
"Thando take a picture of us. It was my idea coming here so
please don't dissapoint me." I laugh." Uhm Siyamu is it fine with
you if I take a picture with you?" he asks hesitantly. She
smiles,oh my god that smile is so cute.
"Sure,no problem" she says. Her voice is a bit deep but I like it. I
take their picture and I also take a picture with her. Matter of
fact we all do except the girls. They're just staring at Siyamu like
she's some disgusting piece of rubbish.
"Sandile we gotta go now. My next gig is in an hour. Bye guys"
she gives us all hugs and rushes out of the club dragging Sandile
with.
2
Thandolwethu's pov:
"She's so disgusting" says girl 1 rolling her eyes. I don't even
know their names.
"And she's childish too" girl 2 says agreeing with the other girl.
"She's also not lady like. She likes acting tomboyish and it
doesn't even suit her because she's not that pretty" girl 1 says
again. This is pure hate, aren't women supposed to support
each other?sies. The other 2 girls are just quiet.
"Nina nibahle yini?(are y'all beautiful?)" I voice out. They all go
dead quiet and look at me. Girls are annoying honestly.
"You can talk all you want really but she's prettier than you guys
and instead of ukubamba ibantshi(drinking other people's
money),she makes her own money" Bayanda says shrugging.
Ntokozo and Kuhle laugh their asses off. The two girls stand up
angrily
"Let's go,why are you guys still seated?do you like them?" The
girl who was with Bayanda stands up and the one with me stays
seated. I like her already. She knows what she wants.
"I'll kinda stay because I'm enjoying being with the guys" she
says shyly and smiles at me. They leave and within 10 minutes
the gents have already replaced them. I'm with Andiswa and
she's such a vibe. She's also pretty as hell.
We stay till 3am and we all leave with a girl each but Ntokozo
being him ,he's with 2 girls. We get home and I take Andiswa to
my room and lock the door. I take off her clothes while kissing
her roughly. I look for my condoms in the drawer and the rest is
history. At 5am I take Andiswa home and she lives in a nice
complex. I didn't expect this,she was giving off gold digger vibes
but I guess she's actually cool.
"I'd love to see you again Thando" she says smiling naughty
"I don't do commitment but for you I'd change" I want her to be
my girlfriend. There's something different about her. I can't
quite out my finger on it but I feel it's time to settle down. With
one person.
"What do you mean?" She asks blushing
"I mean I want you to be mine and I'll be yours" I say
again,clarifying my statement.
"Let's give it a try then" I'm so happy. I finally have a girlfriend.
Maybe my grandmother was right,I've found my soulmate. I kiss
her for the last time and then leave. As soon as I get in bed I
doze off. I wake up later and take a shower and chill with the
family.
"She's my girlfriend now" I say proudly
These dudes laugh at me. They're so stupid.
"How can you wife someone you found in a club?" My mom
asks. Oh shit,she knows.
"No ma she doesn't drink,she was just buying meat" shit I'm
terrible at lying.
"Mxm I wasn't born yesterday wena Thando" she says and dad
laughs.
"Daddy all my friends at school have mommies but I don't have
one. Dad when am I getting a mom?" Princess asks me looking
rather confused. They all looked at us waiting for my response.
This is the hardest part of being a single parent. Having to
explain the other parents absence.
"Daddy is going to get you a mommy soon okay. You just have
to be a good girl and behave" I give her a half smile. She runs
away laughing happily.
"I'm serious now,you really need to get a girlfriend" mom says
"look at how devastated the child is" I don't know what to say
because I am not ready to introduce anyone to my daughter.
"Mom I have a girlfriend I just don't think she's ready to be
introduced to my child yet" I say as a matter of fact. Wait,I don't
even have her number shit. What kind of boyfriend am I? I
don't even know this girl. The things we do when we're drunk.
I say my goodbyes and hug Princess and take my car and head
home. To Durban. I'm listening to J Cole's song 'Amari' when an
unknown number calls me. I answer the call.
"Hello" it's a woman's voice,I've heard it before but I don't
know where.
"Hi,who am I speaking to?" I ask confused.
"It's Andiswa you dummy" she says laughing. Her laugh is
contagious that I end up laughing too.
"Hi baby wami" I can feel her smiling.
"Where are you?I miss you my love" damn I just want to fuck
her brains out. Shit I have a girlfriend now so I can't be a
playboy anymore. Fucking anything that has two legs.
"About that,I'm on my way home,to Durban" I say and I hear
her sigh.
"I'll come down there tomorrow" wow she's fast.
"Andiswa uthi uyaphi?" I hear a male
voice ask in the background.
"Daddy I have to go to Durban for a fashion show they invited
me to" I hear her respond. Atleast it's her dad not her other
boyfriend.
2 months go down the line and it's now November. I'm still
doing good with Andiswa although her dad is strict towards her.
It's my knock off time and I just decided to go to Mug 'n Bean to
get some muffins and coffee. As I enter I order my meal and as
I'm struggling to choose a table. I see her talking on the phone
with someone but she's not as bubbly as usual,she looks like
she's been crying. I go over to her. I sit infront of her and she
wipes a stray tear that has found its way down her cheek. She
finishes with the phone call and looks at me. It breaks me to see
her looking this broken but damn she's still beautiful as ever.
Who would make such a beautiful woman cry?
"So you're just gonna sit here and lust over my beautiful face?"
she asks sarcastically. Shit! she caught me staring but her eyes
are beautiful. Let me give you a brief of her. She's short but the
cute type of short, thick like a size 36 thick,she has chubby
cheeks that are extremely cute,she has a small nose which is
cute and small ears,her eyes aren't small but they're not that
big either. They're just perfect for her and they're brown and
they light up in the sun. Don't ask me how I know that,I follow
her socials ,okay?She does wear weaves but she normally styles
her long dark brown and black hair. She has full eyebrows,not
too much just okay. Oh I almost forgot her long eyelashes and
they're natural. That's what I love about her,she's so her. Today
she's wearing Nike black tracksuits and Nike Airforce 1's which
are white and black. She has her black weave styled but she has
no make-up on. Her brown caramel skin is glistening,begging to
be noticed. She's just so perfect.
I smile "I was wondering why you're crying,people are even
taking pictures" she looks around and notices the amount of
eyes staring back at her.
"I'll just leave and go home,I really wasn't planning to break
down in public. Atleast I'm off this whole weekend" she says
with a sigh. It's a Friday today . I feel so bad,being popular
sometimes becomes too much. I mean,if she were a
nobody,nobody would've cared about her crying in public.
"Let's go then" I say standing up. She looks at me confused.
"No you can stay and eat,I'll just go" she tries to stand up but
almost falls. I quickly place my hand around her waist so she
doesn't fall. I don't pay attention to the people around me. My
only mission is to make sure she's okay. I have sisters and it hits
somewhere when I think of them.
"Thank you,let's go to the parking lot so I can request an Uber"
she says lowly
"Not while I'm here" I say and luckily she agrees this time. She's
one stubborn girl and I like it.
3
Siyamu's pov:
He takes my hand in his since it's cold and we walk as fast as we
can to his car since I left mine at home. The dumbest choice I've
ever made. We get to his car and he turns on the ignition and I
connect my phone using Bluetooth. He looks at me and
chuckles.
"Sorry,being a DJ is in my blood" I say not even embarassed. I
play 'Skhanda love' by Nandi Madida and KO. I start singing but
the volume is high so he can't hear me but he can see that I'm
singing. He starts to sing too and I pause the song and boy he is
a terrible singer. He should never try singing again. We laugh at
his terrible singing.
"Don't laugh at me hawu wena uyakwazi yini?(can you sing?)"
He says and I laugh at his excuse.(hawu is an expression for
someone who is shocked)
"You're really handsome,God took his sweet time making you" I
say and I realised too late that I said it out loud and I cover my
mouth with my small hands. He laughs,oh God what am I
signing myself up for now?
"Thank you, you're beautiful yourself" I smile a little and look
out the window. I know he doesn't mean it. He probably said it
because I said it. I disconnect my phone from the car and he
just connects his without asking why I did that. I told you he
didn't mean it. I just knew it.
"I have a girlfriend" he says without looking at me. What does
that have to do with me?
"Who told you I'm looking for a relationship with you?" I simply
asked with the most annoyed look on my face. He stopped near
a park I've never really been to. He looked at me with no
emotion,just like how Senzo looked at me when he told me he
made another girl pregnant. I didn't feel myself starting to cry
but he takes me to the backseat and I lay my head on his chest.
I could hear his heart beating and it's beating so fast. It feels
abnormal to feel sort of safe in his arms.
"I'm sorry I said that but I know how these things happen. I feel
sorry for you and we end up sleeping together and you'll catch
feelings. Don't get me wrong you're beautiful but you're not the
one for me" he says all in one breath. I cry more because his
words hurt,he's just like Senzo. I mean,not that I wanted him
but damn do I act that thirsty?
"Stop fucking telling me I'm a slut,I'm not a desperate bitch" I
shout and he looks at me shocked,maybe because he didn't
expect me to react that way. His phone rings and he answers
and I can also hear since his phone was connected to the car.
"Bro is Siyamu the girlfriend you've been talking about?"
Bayanda says while laughing. Okay ...what's going on? He stares
at me for a moment before I break eye contact.
"What are you talking about?" He asks a little bit worried. That
hurts,I don't know why. Like Siyamu,dude,get your emotions in
check. You don't know the guy!
"Pictures and videos of you holding Siyamu's waitst at MnB and
you guys going out the mall holding hands are going viral now "
his brother responds. Shit-now he's going to hate me. I don't
care though,he's a jerk.
"Hii Bayanda,your brother just offered to take me home since I
wasn't feeling well and I was feeling cold that's why he was
holding my hand" I say to clear the tension in the car.
"Oh you're there,that's so cool. I hope you'll be okay though" he
says slowly like he's thinking about not saying it. He's a cool
guy,unlike his brother here. Mr "I have a girlfriend"
"Thank you Yanda" I say and go back to the front seat.
"Yho dude, kanti who's this girlfriend you're hiding from us?"
Ntokozo shouts and I'm guessing through the lounge. I need
fresh air. All these memories about Senzo are getting wild now.
"Uhm Ndo I'm gonna step out and take a walk for some fresh
air" I say wiping my tears while stepping out the car. I really
can't hold it in anymore.
"Wait,Siyamu,but it's raining" he says but I close the door and
walk away. The rain pours down on me.
Meanwhile in the car:
"This is so weird,she just called me Ndo. How did she know that
nickname because only grandma calls me that?" I ask my
brothers confused.
"I think it has something to do with what gogo said the other
day,that you'll be happy soon and stuff. I forgot to tell you about
that" Ntokozo confesses.
"What if Siyamu is your soulmate?" Bayanda asks chuckling.
This kid.
"Never,my girlfriend is the best" I say honestly with a teaspoon
of doubt. That girl has some serious red flags.
"Well atleast please go check on Siyamu for me. Like how cruel
can you be?" Bayanda starts sounding pissed. "She just ran off
in the rain and it's almost night time and you're not going after
her. That is someone's sister,that's someone's daughter,don't
you think that something may happen to her as she is a woman
and she's very vulnerable because she's not alright. You're
stupid wena" he finally finishes and I'm guessing he walked
away.
"Ntokozo tell that boy to never talk to me like that again" I say
and end the call annoyed. I walk around for a few seconds and
Bayanda's words start ringing in my head. What if something
really happened to her?shit...shit. I walk for quite a distance
into the park and see her at the far end of the road and she's
sitting there,facing the pavement . I run over to her and I pick
her up bridal style and she just puts her arms around my neck
and her head on my chest and you see this,this is love. Imagine
how our wedding pictures would look if we were like this?Wait
what am I thinking?I have a girlfriend I love and adore. This is
wrong. I run over back to the car and she looks at me with her
face dripping water with her brown eyes,she looks so sexy.
"I'm sorry I caused you trouble today. I'm really sorry that
you're going to get in trouble with your girlfriend and now I'm
getting your seats wet. Actually give me your phone so I can put
in my number and you should text me your girlfriend's number
and I'll call her and tell her you were just helping me" I hand her
my phone and she types it in. Why is she panicking so bad? I ask
her to type in her address and she does. The whole 15 minute
drive is awkward silence,she's been looking out the window the
whole time. We get there and she takes out her purse and takes
out a R200 note and gives it to me
"Thank you for helping me" she says and takes her clutch bag
and leaves. I wanted to say goodbye but I'm thinking of my
girlfriend. I'm thinking of proposing to her. Why wait?
4
Siyamu's pov:
I finally get into my apartment wet as ever. I quickly take a hot
shower so I don't catch a cold. I wear my Nike grey and white
pluno tracksuits to keep warm,oh and my happy socks. I take
my duvet and sit in the lounge with some red wine. To take the
stress away. I'm sure all of you are wondering what happened
between Senzo and I. I dated Senzo at the beginning of the
year,in February. I had not slept with him because we were
together for like 2 months and we said we'll take things slow
and then he went on tour for 3 months. When he came back he
sat me down and told me how he got another woman pregnant
and how he'd like us to break things off. I'm not mad at him, I
am happy he didn't make a fool out of me and just told me the
truth. We broke up in such a mature way. Well now I'm seeing a
therapist again. I'm glad I did,I guess I never healed from my
past because it's haunting me.
My birthday is in 2 weeks. On the 18th of November. I don't
even have plans because Sandile,my manager gave me a day
off. Just as I was thinking,my phone rings and it's an unknown
number. I pause the TV and answer it. I wouldn't want to miss a
part of The Real Housewives of Dubai.
"Hello" I answer. Do you know the suspense of being called by a
private number?yhuu mtaka bawo.
"Hey...uhm,Siyamu I'm sorry for being cold towards you today. I
feel so bad" he says. Oh it's the jerk from earlier.
1
"Please leave me alone,you insult me and tell me I'm a slut and
you have the nerve to think that I want you whereas you
offered me a ride home. You saw I wasn't alright,I wasn't
expecting you to do anything for me I just wanted to get home.
I don't need you,you're such a jerk. You're a bitch too" I say
really fast and I don't wait for a reply. I just hang up the phone
on him. That felt good,standing up for myself without crying. I
get some snacks and I just chill. Okay,now I'm bored. I call
Buhle,my crazy best friend and she answers on the first ring.
"Yes bitch I'm coming,I know you're bored to death" she says
excited. Did I mention that she is crazy as hell or I forgot?
"Who said I'm bored ?" I ask her,laughing at her dumb
response.
"I don't care who you're with or what you're doing but I'm
coming" she says and hangs up. This chick bathong. She arrives
after 20 minutes and we chill until she decides to sleep over.
She has clothes at my apartment. We talk all night until we fall
asleep in each other's embrace.
These two weeks go past really quickly. I've been going to gigs
nonstop and Sandile said he wants us to go to Cubana,a
beautiful club in Durban Central. I didn't say no because I'll be
bored. Anyways since I've been seeing the therapist,I've been
good and taking care of myself. I even gained weight in all the
right places and now I'm glowing. It's such a coincidence that
my birthday is on a Saturday.lol. It's Friday today and I'm here at
Jimmy's Parlour doing my nails and applying my 24 inch black
Mozambican weave. Sandile fetches me when I'm done,this one
is my bestfriend,not just my manager. We pass by
McDonald's,yay my favourite. We get in and people are asking
for pictures and I agreed. I love this,fans showing love. We
ordered and sat down. He looks at me smiling,I smile too.
"You're beautiful today" he says already laughing
"Oh so I've been ugly this whole time?" I ask laughing
"No but you're just different today,you're even glowing" he says
smiling "it makes me happy knowing you're happy and at
peace"
"I wouldn't be here without your help. You're one of the people
who influenced me to go see a therapist. Oh and I forgot to tell
you,I think I'm ready to talk about my childhood in interviews.
Please tell RedLive FM " I say. His face lights up and he gets up
and hugs me for 2 minutes or so. Our order comes. We look at
each other and laugh. We both ordered two burgers each and
two shakes each.
"You got that outfit I sent you for tomorrow night?" He asks
"Yes thank you so much. I love it,it's so dreamy dawg" I smile
thinking about it "it's so me,even the colour dude. It's
tomboyish but girlish at the same time"
"I'm glad you love it" he says smirking,surely proud of himself.
We eat while conversing and sharing jokes. He takes me home
so I could get some sleep because tomorrow night is going to be
lit. There's this annoying sound that's waking me up from my
sleep. It's my phone vibrating,I answer without checking the
caller ID.
"Who the hell is calling me while I'm sleeping?" I ask annoyed.
"I'm sorry,I just couldn't stop thinking about you" oh it's the jerk
bawo,save me.
1
"What's the time Ndo?aren't you supposed to be sleeping?" I
ask.
"It's 1am" wow this guy. "Why do you call me Ndo?" He asks
"I find it as a cute nickname for you" I smile after that, stupid I
know.
"I'm really sorry for how I've been treating you. I'm just scared,I
have this strong feeling towards you and I can't explain it" he's
feeling what I've been feeling. He pauses a little bit and
continues "I love my girlfriend and I think she's the one but
you're always on my mind. I thought pushing you away will
make this feeling go away but I just wanted to hear your voice. I
didn't mean it when I said you're a slut. I knew I could shut you
out in that way. You're a queen and you deserve to be treated
like one" wow I don't know what to say or how to feel
"Ndo I forgave you a long time ago" I tell him the truth.
"What do you mean by that?" He asks
Thandolwethu's pov:
"What do you mean by that?" I ask and after that silence
"Siyamu" then I listen carefully and I hear soft snoring. I laugh
softly but I wish I was next to her beautiful face. Today is her
surprise party and Sandile invited me. I'm so excited. Just
then,my girlfriend calls,what does she want?at 1am? I answer
her call.
"Hey baby" I fake a sleepy voice because if I don't there will be
drama. It's been 2 months but she's not the person I first met.
She's acting like a gold digger. Shit what did I get myself into? A
part of me wants Siyamu to be my rebound but she knows her
worth and I respect her for that.
"Hey my love" she says yawning. Ughh
"Why are you calling me in the early hours of the morning?" I
ask not even bothered
"So that's the tone you use with me now Thando?" She asks like
she's spitting venom. "Anyways I called to tell you that I'm
coming with you to Siyamu's surprise party " how did she
know?ayibo this girl
"And how did you know?" I ask her confused as hell.
"Your phone calls are connected to my phone and I heard your
conversation with Sanda or Sandadi whatever his name is" you
see what I've been saying?she changed out of nowhere. I drop
the call,I won't take this bullshit. I fall asleep and luckily she
doesn't try to call again.
5
Siyamu's pov:
I'm woken up by a ringing noise. How the hell did my phone get
under my boob?oh Ndo,you can't blame me. That guy has a
smooth voice. I
answer the call.
"Happy birthday to you" they sing. It's Sandile and Buhle. Why
are they together? That's just weird.
"Don't tell me you guys are fucking" I state laughing but it's not
a joke.
"Eeuw" Buhle says and Sandile is laughing his ass off.
"Buhle asked me to help her choose her outfit for tonight,she's
coming with us" Sandile tries to justify but I still think it's a little
suspicious.
"But I'll find you guys at the club because you know I'm always
late" we all laugh and then there's a knock on the door. I check
the time and it's 10am. I wear my silk gown and open the door,
there's a delivery guy. I sign and he leaves.
"Thank you guys for the flowers and whuu what's inside here"
as I'm about to look inside they speak
"Our presents are here though" they say sounding confused.
Okay now I'm confused.
"Oh it's from Ndo" I say looking at the gift card smiling.
"By Ndo you mean Thandolwethu Sangweni?" Sandile asks me.
"Yeah Thando" I say "guys I'll see you later ne I gotta eat and
bath then sleep again" I say laughing. We say our goodbyes and
I check out the gifts. It's a 3 piece necklace written 'I am DJ
Siyamu' and a watch that is shaped like my headsets. I love it. I
open the gift card and it's written 'To my pretty friend. I love
you and have a great day. Happy birthday
From Ndo'. I take a picture and post it on my story on
Instagram. I caption it "First present of the day,thank you
@Thandolwethu Sangweni. I love you too" and there was also a
bouquet of sunflowers with different flavoured chocolates
inside and all types of sweets. Ncoah I love this. I also take a
picture of that and put it on my Instagram story. After deciding
against it,I finally dial his number and press the call button.
"Ndo I love you so much,you're so amazing and your present
was so beautiful. I love it and I love you I love you" I say all in
one breath. He laughs god his laugh is so dreamy. Did I just tell
the damn jerk that I love him?
"I meant it,I love you" he says. Something in my stomach sinks
and my chest flutters open and shut.
"As a friend" I say and laugh it off.
"I'd really love it if we'd get to know each other more but not
today. I'm sure you'll be busy" he says sounding a little
disappointed.
"I'm not gonna be busy you know but we gotta be done by 3pm
so I can get some rest for tonight because it's going down" I say
excited at the thought of what awaits me.
"Get ready then I'll be there in 30 minutes" he responds
"Ndo we're going wherever I like right?" I ask thinking of a ways
to torture him
"Yes it's your day phela" he laughs
"Okay then wear something comfortable,like track pants and a
t-shirt because it's hot" I say
"Okay see you in 30" we bid our goodbyes and end that call.
What a great way to start my morning. I hate to say this but I
have a strong feeling towards Thando,I don't know if it's love
but I just feel that I can trust him. I'm so delusional. I get 3 more
deliveries and they're from Wandile or Uncle waffles as you all
know her. My little sister Thando,I wonder where she got
money. Last but not least Hlelo my good friend. I also take
pictures of that and tag them thanking them. I also call them
and thank them. I get calls from friends and family wishing me a
good day. I finally get time to bath and I lotion then I wear my
grey Nike pants and a white Nike almost oversized t-shirt. Safe
to say Nike is my favourite brand. I also wear white Nike
Airforce 1's. Oh and the new necklace Ndo bought me. Some
people even send me money,nice. Thando arrives and we get in
his car. I take pictures of us and videos of us singing with me
laughing at his singing. He's also wearing white and grey. During
the video I remember something really important. The location!
"Wait, Thando,where are we going because you said I can
choose and j on don't remember telling you which place I
chose" I ask him confused
"Angithi you're quiet" he says and we laugh
"Okay we're going bunjee jumping" I say. He looks at me like
I've lost my mind,that time the video is still recording.
"Haa uyahlanya(you are crazy) I'm not jumping anywhere mina"
he says clapping his hands and letting go of the steering wheel.
"Then you're not my friend is anymore" I say acting hurt
"You can't act to save your life yho" we laugh "okay ke let's go" I
end the video. I post one of us singing on Instagram but you
can't hear me sing since I'm singing softly,it's just this idiot with
a terrible voice. I post the one where I tell him we're going
bunjee jumping and the way people are laughing at him yho.
Ayke we made it to the media and it's written 'New friendship
between DJ Siyamu and Thando the producer has us talking'. I
show Thando and he says
"Whuu bathanda izindaba laba(they love news these ones)" I
laugh. We finally get there and I ask one of the workers to take
a video of us. So we took the one where we'll be tied together
and we have to jump together. They count down from 10 and
then we jump and Thando is screaming like a girl. I'm just
laughing my ass off. I post that video too and then after that we
go eat. We're eating Schwarma,pure Durban food. We take
pictures eating and laughing. When we're done I take a video
saying how tired I am and he comes up to me and kisses my
cheek and says
"I had fun today even though I almost pissed my pants" we
laugh
"Let's go,it's 2pm now and I need to get ready for tonight" I say
and end the video
We get in the car and he speaks again.
"Siyamu what did you mean when you said you already forgave
me?" He asks me.
"My therapist taught me how to forgive jerks like you without
them apologizing because she saw how much the things you
said and did pulled me back on my journey" I don't want to get
sad now,it's my birthday "can we stop with the sob stories
now?I don't want to talk about all these things. When I'm
ready,I'll tell you but for now let's just focus on making me
happy" I say. We leave and go to an icecream shop. We both
ordered 3 bowls each. He takes a video of us feeding each
other.
"We'd make a great couple" he says and I laugh at his silliness.
"You wish weirdo. I don't date men who are scared of heights
and scream like girls" and then we laugh.
"You're so beautiful" he blurts out. He's just saying that.
"You're just saying that,not because I'm really beautiful" he
frowns,oh gosh those eyebrows.
"You should tell your therapist this because it seems to me you
don't have confidence" he says
"No I do have confidence but when it comes to men,I don't.
There's always somebody being chosen over me. Nobody has
ever chosen me to make them happy. I want that you know,to
be loved the way I love. That would be nice because sometimes
I get lonely" I say sighing. He takes my hands in his. Wrong
move Johnny boy. Now I'm imagining our future together,crazy
right?
"Don't worry,when the time is right that person will come your
way" I wish that person was him honestly. Ugh,kill me now!
6
Siyamu's pov:
We look at each others' eyes. His eyes are a beautiful brownish
blackish colour. I see sparkles,I'm joking,this ain't no fairytale. I
clear my throat and take my hands away from his and continue
eating my icecream. When we're done he takes me home and I
sleep with my phone on silent because people have been calling
me. I wake up at 5pm and eat a sandwich before going to take a
shower. The makeup artist Sandile came with does her thing,a
full face beat. Why wouldn't he let me do my own makeup?
something's fishy here. I get dressed in my mini cheerleader's
skirt that's not that short but also not that long and a matching
out-bra hoodie. It's like a crop top but it's a sports bra with a
cropped hoodie...oh and it's Nike,and it's black and white. I
then wear my black and white Jordan 1's and style my weave. I
come out and Sandile starts taking pictures while whistling. This
one is dramatic but I am beautiful. We take pictures together
and both post them and then by half past 6 we're on our way to
Cubana. We get there and outside there's a lot of cars but no
people. I look at Sandile.
"You're not capable of kidnapping me right?" he laughs and
types on his phone for a few minutes. We get out of the car and
he opens the club door for me and I get the shock of my life.
Okay well I'm not that surprised,it's the amount of people that
are here that surprised me.
"Surprise!" everyone shouts and I see my friends and cousins
here,even my colleagues and artists I look up to. I look at
Sandile and he smiles and I hug him for like 3 good minutes and
everyone comes up to me to get a hug. Mr Jazzi Q starts Djaying
and we start drinking too. Ndo comes up to me while I'm seated
with Buhle,Wandile,Sandile,Ayanda my cousin,Ashton our male
friend and Thato(Ayanda's boyfriend). He's with Bayanda and
Ntokozo and a girl that looks like a Barbie. She's holding Ndo's
hand and I'm guessing it's the girlfriend. He looks annoyed
though. The first person I hug is Bayanda though. He hugs me
back
"Happy birthday nana" I laugh
"Yey wena (hey you) I'm older than you and you're calling me
nana" I chuckle. I then hug Ntokozo and I introduce everyone.
Indeed Ndo introduces the girl as his girlfriend.
"Hawu Thando the player with a girlfriend?" asks a laughing
Sandile. Thando is quite the playboy huh?
"And I don't get a hug?" Ndo asks. I hug him longer than I
expected and he kisses the top of my forehead. And that did
something to my stomach. His girlfriend looks at me for a good
minute,scanning me up and down.
"Hey,I'm Siyamu" I say smiling but I know she's pissed. She was
sort of staring at my necklace too.
"I know who you are" she says rolling her eyes. I look at Ndo,he
looks away probably embarassed "entlek tell me what's going
on here Thando,you're seen with her at the mall holding hands
and you holding her waist. You send her flowers and chocolates
and made her a custom made necklace. Jiki jiki you guys are out
bunjee jumping. I'm here infront of you and you're kissing her
forehead" she says angry. Now all the people I was sitting with
are focused on us. I laugh a little not believing this. Buhle knows
what's going to happen now. I really get where she's coming
from but does she have to make a scene?
"Siyamu drink water tuu" Buhle says
"Who do you think you are coming to my party and acting like
Jub Jub. You will not disrespect me infront of my friends and
colleagues whereas you're a nobody here. I'm sure uqala
nokubona ama celebrity angaka in one place(seeing so many
celebs in one place). Take your fake ass out of this club before I
take you out myself, mxm girls with cheap heels" and everyone
just laughs,except Thando. Then a man looking like he's in his
early 60's walks towards us looking furious.
"Yewena nondindwa,skhebereshe ndini(slut,fucken whore). I
take you from the streets and make you who you are and you
cheat on me nabafana abancane(with small boys)" we all look
at Andiswa and Thando. Ndo is shocked to say the least.
"No daddy this isn't my boyfriend,he's just a friend" Andiswa
says. Haa imihlola(what a disgrace)
"Oh so this is the daddy you're scared of?this is the daddy you
been fucking?" Ndo asks just as angry as the man before him.
"Sandile get security to escort them out please" he says and
walks away. I go after him,he's going to the bathroom. I stop
him and look at him. It's my party,it's only right that I check up
on him. He looks defeated.
"I was going to introduce her to my child" he says and I just hug
him. He hugs me back even tighter. We stay like that for a long
time until Sandile comes looking for us.
"Uhm Siyamu it's time for the presents" he says "Dude she's not
worth it" he says looking at Thando. Thando nods.
"What was I thinking wanting to wife a girl I met at the club?"
Ndo asks laughing. I guess he'll just have to be strong. We go
back to our seats and his brothers are talking to him about
something but he won't let go of my hands. I bet it's all the
alcohol we've been drinking. The MC, Sandile calls me up for
the presents. I'm seated on a queen's chair and they're reading
it out for me,taking some out. There are so many of them.
"The first one is written 'to my crush, happy birthday'. Yho
Siyamu you're someone's crush" Sandile says and we all laugh
and he takes out the LV tracksuits I said I wanted to buy on
Instagram the other day. They're so beautiful because they're
khaki.
"Cela icrusher isukume izoba iboyfriend(could the crusher stand
up and become the boyfriend)" I say and everyone laughs.
"The next one is from Buhle your bestfriend" he takes out the
new colour changing Nike Airforce 1's.
"Who needs a boyfriend when you've got Buhle" I say and I
hear some ncoah's in the crowd. These are literally so cool.
"Usuqalile ubalekela amadoda(you have started running away
from men)" Sandile says and we all laugh. Many more presents
are opened and we wrap it up because there were too many of
them. After that it's time to eat. I go up to one of the
photographer's.
"Hi...please fetch all your colleagues so I can get food for you
guys " I say to him.
"But Sandile gave us strict orders to capture every moment" he
says hesitantly.
"Don't worry about him,it's my party. I'll sort him out" he calls
them through an intercom and they all come. There's about 7 of
them.
"Okay anybody allergic to anything?" I ask
"No" they all respond at the same time.
"Okay then follow me and I'll get you a table,nidla inyama
angithi madoda?(you eat meat,right guys?)" I say and they
laugh
"Yebo ma, we are Zulu men" one guy responds.
"Thank you for the great work you've done tonight" I say proud
of them. They get seated at their assigned table and a waitress
comes to them and they decided to order a meat platter and I
told them to order drinks too. "Gents when you're done,you
can call me and I'll come pay for you guys" I say while going to
take my drink from Sandile.
"Uyaphi?(where are you going)" he asks
"I'm going to control the decks" I say smiling
"Okay sisi weh passion" he says and everyone laughs. I go to the
decks and everyone starts screaming and gents are whistling.
"Siyamu we wanna party!" they all start shouting. I start by
playing Sithi shwi by Young Stunna. People are taking videos
and singing and I'm just dancing behind the decks because I'm
so focused. I smile when I see my watch. It's the one Ndo
bought me. I wonder how he's feeling. I see the photographers
doing their job and I smile. I spend about 2 hours on the deck
and then I wrap it up. Uncle waffles gets on stage and does her
things. I keep hyping her up. I start dancing with Cooper Pabi on
stage and people are screaming. Buhle joins us and we're hitting
it. When we're done I take pictures with all of the other
celebrities. Mr Jazzi Q,DJ Maphorisa,Thuli Phongolo,Pabi
Cooper,Thee Buhle,Daliwonga,Sir trill and many more. I love
this. We party until midnight and Sandile gets on stage and says
"Eish guys party is over because her birthday is over" we all
laugh
"Uyagula(you are sick)" I shout and they laugh
"Come cut the cake baby girl" he says. I go up there and there's
a cake with my face on it written "Happy birthday Queen". I
love it. We take pictures with it and I start crying. Tears of joy.
Sandile and Buhle hold me
"Thank you guys for this. I love it so much,it's beautiful. Thank
you to everyone who came here and thank you to the staff
because nothing would've been possible without you guys" I
say still crying my eyeballs out.
"This is why I said your makeup artist must use waterproof
makeup" Sandile says and we all laugh. I cut the cake. There are
15 cakes to cater all the people here. That's how much people
are here. I'm happy with what I have and I'm really grateful for
all that I have.
7
Siyamu's pov:
We eat the cake and I make sure the staff ate because they've
been working all night long. At 4am people start leaving drunk
as hell and I'm also drunk.
"Sandile take me home tuu before I find a man to fuck my
brains out" they all laugh at me
"Let's go,hold my hand" I almost slip but Ndo holds me. I laugh
"Yho udakiwe mntase(you're so drunk mate)" Buhle says
"I'm glad,I had a lot of fun. Once again thank you guys" I say
smiling and I hug all of them while Ndo holds on to me. We
walk out and Sandile takes me home. He gets me into my
pyjamas and I'm out.
I wake up on a hard chest and I look at his face. How did Ndo
get in my bed because Sandile brought me home? I look around
the room and it's my apartment but there are lot of last night's
presents near my wardrobe. I'm in my short pyjamas and my leg
is on his and he's holding me like I'm going to run away. I smile
at the gorgeous sight before me. I finally notice that he's
wearing his boxer shorts only. I wake him up and he rubs his
eyes, he's so cute.
"Did we fuck?" I ask worried.
"No" he laughs "but you were twerking for me" I sigh relieved.
"Okay how did we get here because Sandile took me home" he
looks at me like I'm crazy and laughs.
"Well at the club you said your goodbyes and when Sandile took
you to his car, you said you wanted to talk to me and you said I
should take you home. My brother's got in with Sandile and I
took you home and then when we got there,I took out all the
presents and stuff and put it in your room. You fell asleep on
the couch then I took you to your room and dressed you in your
pyjamas,you have a nice body by the way. I love how good your
stretch marks look on you. After that you jumped up and
twerked for me" I hide with my hands "then I took you to bed
and you said you're scared of being alone. I locked and we
slept" I can't believe myself
"How are you feeling about what happened last night?" I ask
him a little bit skeptical.
"I don't think I'm that hurt,our relationship died a long time
ago" he says. I nod. I stand up to go brush my teeth but I end up
showering. I get out with a towel around my body. He made the
bed,oh that's nice. I lotion and he knocks.
"Can I come in?" He shouts from the other side
"Yeah" I shout back. I quickly wear my underwear. My blue lace
pantie and bra. He gets in holding a tray of breakfast. His eyes
are on my body though. I quickly take a gown and wear it.
"Thank you so much" I give him a kiss on his cheek. Shit,why did
I do that?
"When did you bath because you smell nice but you smell like
me" and I laugh. He's wearing yesterday's jean and a white vest
it's mine though.
"I had a quick shower and then made breakfast" he says and
then puts the tray on the headboard on the side of the bed. I
get dressed quickly in a blue jean and oversized black t-shirt and
my Gucci flip flops. I eat my breakfast and he's busy taking
pictures of me. I laugh and sit on his lap and feed him. What am
I doing now? ayibo
"I can get used to this" he says smiling
"It's a pity it's the first and last time I'll be feeding you" I say
with a smug. When we're done cleaning up, we head off to the
braai Sandile organised at his beach house. When we get
in,they all look at us. Even Ndo's brothers are here. Shit.
"Nasi isdakwa sethu(here's our drunkard)" Sandile says and we
all laugh. We greet and we sit down.
"How did you get home Siyamu?" Sandile asks and I give him
the 'stop fucking with me' look.
"Well you took me home and I slept then Ndo broke into my
apartment and so he'll wake up next to me" they all laugh their
asses off
"Siyamu you literally begged him to take you home. His
brothers had to sleep at my house because he never came back
from dropping you off" we laugh. Buhle looks at me wiggling
her eyebrows.
"Sorry guys" I say looking at Bayanda and Ntokozo. They laugh
and nod. The guys go and braai the meat. We girls are cooking
pap and making salads in the kitchen.
"So you guys fucked?" Buhle asks laughing and we all burst out
in laughter
"No hawu we just slept in one bed, apparently I didn't want him
to go" I say laughing.
"Do you think something's there?" she asks again.
"Nope,not at all" I say with confidence. I'm a good liar. I've even
convinced myself.
"But I feel it" Ndo says behind me. The kitchen goes dead quiet
"We need to talk" he says seriously. Now we're all just giving
each other the 'wtf is happening' look.
"Uh guys I'll be right back" I say rushing after him. We get to
one of the rooms and I close the door. "What was that all
about?" I ask
"Please give me a hug" he says and I give him a warm soothing
hug. Then I get a phone call from my mom and she's telling me I
need to hurry home. I wonder what's going on. He looks at me
expecting an explanation to the sudden jitters.
"Please tell the others that I've rushed home because there's an
emergency that needs me" I say rushing out of the room. Family
is everything. Family comes first. I take my car since we came
with it,the BMW M4 2020 model, matte black. When I get
home,there's a lot of cars. I park outside the gate and get in.
When I enter the house my mom is with my uncles,what's going
on here?
8
Thandolwethu's pov:
It's been 2 hours since Siyamu left and she hasn't called to tell
me what's going on. We're still at the beach house. Drinking our
lives away. I call her and she's crying.
"How could they Ndo? they just don't want me" she sobs
painfully.
"What's going on Siyamu? Where are you?" I ask getting
worried.
"I'm at my apartment" she says and ends the call. What is going
on?
"Sandile man we need to go" I say panicking.
"Why?where we going?" He asks confused.
"I called Siyamu and she was crying,when I ask her where she
is,she says at her apartment and then she drops the call on me"
"Oh shit,Buhle it's happening. Go get the First aid kit" Sandile
says. Buhle does as told. Now everyone is looking at us.
"What's happening bro?" Bayanda asks. Ncoah man, he's
probably worried.
"She's having a mental break down again" Sandile says sighing.
"Let's go before she starts breaking things" he sees we're
confused. "Anger issues"
Sandile,Buhle,Bayanda and I get in Sandile's car. Ntokozo said
he'll stay behind and guard the house as there are people we do
not know. We get there within 20 minutes. I rush out of the car
and knock on her door. Nobody answers. Sandile has the spare
key and he lets us in and there's a wine bottle smashed on the
kitchen floor. The full mirror in the bathroom is smashed. Buhle
goes to her room and she's sitting looking at herself in the
mirror. Her eyes are bloodshot red and her hands have blood.
She's looking so hopeless
"Siyamu" Sandile says "come to me" and she comes and give
him a hug. She crys so painfully while Buhle is busy with her
fists,Bayanda goes and hugs her too. I just stand there not
knowing what to do. She finally speaks
"Sandile I knew my gran hated me but not to this extent" she
says looking at him
"Guys please give us space" Sandile says.
"It's fine,they can stay" she says
"Tell me what happened and why you reacted the way you did.
What do you think Sindy will do when she finds out you had a
mental breakdown?why did you lie to us my love?" He speaks
to her softly.
"Sandile I didn't want you to worry about me because when I
don't sleep it means no sleep for you and Buhle too. I don't
want that,I don't want people constantly worrying about me
and my health. I went home when I got there my uncles were
there and my gran was there too but my mom was a bit off. It
was my family from my mom's side. They were having a braai.
My aunts sat me down and they told me that I have to quit
Djaying because it has turned me into a slut. Then my gran said
that I've always been a slut and that time I was almost raped,I
deserved it. They said if I don't quit,I'm not part of the family
anymore because I'm dragging their surname in the mud. I was
mad,not because they want me to quit my job but because my
whole life I've done what my family wanted. You know I'm
different and I was never like the rest of the kids. I was always
the black sheep of the family. I was mad because they want me
to quit the one achievement I did for myself without anyone
clapping for me? I was mad because it brought back so many
memories of how my gran always treated me. I just want to be
happy" she ends and starts crying again,Sandile keeps rubbing
her back till she falls asleep.
"How can people be so cruel?" Bayanda asks
"Please can you guys call Ntokozo to fetch y'all. Me and Sandile
will have to crash here for the next few weeks" Buhle says
"Is it fine if I call her later?just to check up on her" I ask not sure
how to digest all of this
"Yeah and if she doesn't answer,don't worry she'll come around.
She just needs time" Sandile says. Ntokozo fetches us later and
then we head off to Johannesburg.
"How is she?" He asks as he sees the mood is sour.
"She's not fine at all" Bayanda responds to him.
"I've never seen anything like that but I understand why she did
what she did. I mean she loves what she does and how it makes
her feel. You should watch her interviews" I say thinking back to
when it was all I watched,her videos.
"Apparently her gran hates her and she said Djaying is making
her a slut and she's dragging the family name in the mud so she
has to quit otherwise she's not part of the family" Bayanda says.
"So what did she choose?" Ntokozo asks
"We didn't really find out because she didn't say and ended up
falling asleep but the way she was crying it's like she chose her
career" I say
"This is sad man,how are you feeling with the whole Andiswa
issue?" Bayanda says and I look at him like he lost his mind
"I don't love her anymore" I say but it's pure lies. I think I have a
soft spot for her "I've been sharing her with a wrinkled dick.
That's just disgusting" I say and they laugh. These guys are fools.
"So you and Siyamu?what's happening?" Ntokozo asks smirking.
I lose my smile.
"I don't think she sees me in that way. She treats me like she
treats Sandile. Like a close friend and I don't even want her in
that way" I say,starting with the lies yet again and they laugh.
The more I ignore this feeling,the stronger it gets. We get to
mom and dad's house.My mom greets us with kisses,I love her
so much. She's so much like Siyamu.
"Ayibo Thando look at how skinny you are but you said you
have a girlfriend" she says and everyone laughs. It's my
brothers,my sisters,my grandmother,my dad and mom.
"Ah mom I'm only 25,Ntokozo is 28 he's supposed to be
married" I say and she looks at Ntokozo.
"Ntokozo when are you getting a wife?" She says looking serious
and we laugh. I greet my dad with our handshake and kiss my
sisters' cheeks and then lastly my grandma. I hug her and give
her a kiss. As I'm walking to the kitchen,my grandma calls me
back
"Gogo" I respond
"The more you ignore the feeling,the greater it will be. You love
her,stop beating around the bush" she says. Is she referring to
Siyamu?thing is my grandma is a seer but she doesn't tell you
what she sees,she gives you clues on how to go about your
situation because she can feel a heavy heart. It has presence.
"Ubani gogo?(who gran?)" I ask
"Go make me tea" she says and now all eyes are on me. You
see?I told you she never tells you. I make her tea and get myself
a bottle of water.
"Lihle usuyajola?(are you dating now?)" Mom asks out of the
blue. Lihle chokes on her water.
"Ayibo ma why do you say that?" Lihle asks looking like she
wishes the world could swallow her up
"You're glowing" mom says. Lihle laughs and asks to be excused.
Sne runs after her.
"What's going on?" Bayanda asks.
"We're all confused" I say thinking of another guy touching my
little sister,not while I'm here.
9
Siyamu's pov:
After that breakdown,Sandile and Buhle stayed with me for a
week and I felt myself getting better. I'm sure you're wondering
what I chose?I chose being a DJ because I'm proud of what I
have achieved for myself and I love music more than anything.
It's now December and it's about to get lit. Ndo and I talk
everyday on WhatsApp,we video call each other most of the
time and I send him my pictures. I get the best compliments
from him. Our friendship has grown ever since my breakdown.
I'm at SoulFull Café,a nice venue in Joburg doing a gig. I do my
things and after 4 hours we're out and on to the next gig which
is also in Joburg at eSpotini Lounge. I djay for 2 hours and we
stay for one more hour and drink. We get to a hotel in Sandton
where we booked rooms for my bodyguards,Sandile and I. We
sleep and by 7am we're on the road again. We get breakfast at
Wimpy and I'm off to a gig in Rustenburg. The cook off show, I'll
be performing and then watch the cook off. Oh and get free
food. He video calls me and I answer
"Yho look at how beautiful you are when you're tired but I don't
like it. Utshele uSandile kuthi ngizombulala(tell Sandile that I'll
kill him)" Ndo says and I laugh
"Yey wena it's December, don't you have anything to do than
calling somebody's girlfriend?" Sandile says and we laugh
"She's my girlfriend" he says
"Uyahlanya(you're crazy)" I say and we laugh. We continue
talking for about 30 minutes and end the call. We finish with
the cook off show and we're on our way back to Durban and I
am tired like shit. We're now at Gateway Mall going to get food.
We settle for Spur. Sandile gets us a table and he looks at me
with puppy eyes.
"Go get laid,you've been working so hard" I say and we laugh.
The waitress brings our menu's.
"How do you know me so well?" He asks while laughing
"It's been 3 years stupid" I say rolling my eyes playfully. He
leaves and as soon as he leaves,a yellow bone guy who looks
like he works out twice or three times a month comes up to my
table. Yho look at those pink lips. He clears his throat,fuck I was
staring.
"Hey" he says "I'm Neo by the way"
"Nice to meet you Neo,I'm ..." I didn't finish because he started
talking
"Siyamu,I've seen you before doing your things at RedLive FM"
"Uhm yeah Neo so what do you want?" I ask in the most polite
way I can. Him not letting me finish my sentence is a turn off.
"Chasing me away already?" Ugh he's even arrogant. "I want
you" he says in a seductive way
"What the fuck?" I half shout but it doesn't catch people's
attention
"What's wrong?" He asks looking confused
"When you see me,do you see a slut in which you can just fuck
and have your way with?" I ask calm as ever but I'm boiling
inside. I look around and nod. A sign that I need my
bodyguards. They come up to us. There's like 6 of them
"Is there a problem here Siyamu?" I trained them to call me by
my name because I'm younger and I don't like this ma'am thing
so we're basically like family.
"This man is harrassing me Ndu" I say still mad. They grab him
by the coat and take him out of the restaurant. Just then a little
cute baby girl who looks 100% like Ndo comes up to me. Maybe
I'm dreaming.
"Hi aunty,why are you sitting alone?" She asks in the sweetest
voice ever
"All my friends are at work" that is true though.
"Can I sit with you?" she asks flapping her long pair of
eyelashes. She's wearing school uniform that I'm not familiar
with.
"Sure you can but where's your mommy and daddy?"
"I don't have a mommy because she doesn't love me anymore
and my daddy is at the toilet" she says. Who would tell a child
that?that is so sad
"Okay then I'm aunty Siyamu, what's your name?" I ask
smiling,she smiles too
"My name is Snothando but daddy and my uncles call me
Princess" she says
"Well you do look like a Princess"
"Thank you aunty,I like you" she says smiling and her two front
teeth are out
"Princess what did I say about talking to strangers?" I know that
voice. Our eyes lock,I knew it but he never mentioned a
daughter to me.
"Siyamu?" Ndo asks confused
"Ndo?" I'm also confused "this is your daughter?you have a
child?"
"Yes I do" he seems proud. I want to tell him how I feel about
him but what if he doesn't feel the same way?what if his baby
mama comes back and they fall in love with each other
again?ugh love sucks
"Daddy this is aunty Siyamu and aunty this is my daddy"
Princess says
"I know her Princess" Ndo says rolling his eyes playfully
"But how daddy?because you just met her" she asks confused.
Her eyebrows are just like his. Cute.
"Aunty Siyamu is my friend" she gasps
"Why don't I know her?" I laugh
"But what did I say about talking to strangers,you're even sitting
with one" he says seriously. She looks down
"But daddy she's a nice stranger and I was asking her why she's
sitting alone" she says softly. I see a tear roll down her cheek
and I stand up and hug her because she's sitting on the other
side of the table.
"Don't worry baby I'm not a stranger anymore okay" she smiles
and I wipe her tear
"Thando apologize to the child" I say looking serious. I love kids
and seeing her cry made me feel some type of way. I just feel I
have to protect her.
"I'm sorry princess,daddy loves you and he doesn't want
anyone to hurt you that's why you don't talk to strangers. Some
strangers are dangerous and they steal little kids like you so I
don't want anybody near you" he says softly and princess just
nods.
"Take off your shoes so you can go and play" I say and she does
so but before she leaves she hugs me again. Ndo smiles
"Is it fine if we sit here with you or do you want to be alone?"
He asks looking rather worried.
"It's fine, Sandile left me to fuck somebody's brains out" we
laugh because that's just like him. Just then he calls
"Siyamu are you okay?Ndu told me what happened and I'm
coming to get you" he says panicking.
"Don't worry I'm fine and I'm with Thando" I say giggling. The
way he cares about me you'd swear we're dating.
"Baby what would you like for lunch?" I hear Nonto,Sandile's
girlfriend in the background
"We're going out baby" Sandile says and I hear her squealing
"When are you marrying her?" I ask not even laughing
"Hawu Siyamu where is all of this coming from?"
"It's been 4 years,she's met your family but she's still a
girlfriend"
"Siyamu you're forward,I was going to tell you but because
you're forward I won't tell you anything"
"Sandile don't do that" I say trying to sound hurt
"I'll tell you tomorrow since we're working"
"Okay bye then,I love you"
"I love you too dummy" he says and we end the call. Thando
looks like he's in so much thought. I shake him and he looks at
me
"What are you thinking about?" I ask
"What I want to tell you" he says looking at me straight in my
eyes. I can't read his face,he's emotionless.
"And what do you want to tell me?"
"I beat up the guy that was harassing you" he says not even
bothered.
"What?why did you do that?"
"Because he was harrassing the love of my life" did I hear that
right?did he just say that I am the love of his life? "Listen
Siyamu I've been ignoring this feeling but it seems the more I do
that,the more I fall for you. I love you for all of you, because
you're sweet and kind. You're beautiful,how you're always
yourself captures me. I love how you walk and all your curves
and stretch marks. I'm not going to lie to you and promise you
the world. I won't hurt you intentionally. Please be my
girlfriend?" I look at him and he looks at me "please say
something"
"Don't you think you're moving on too fast" I ask because he is.
He broke up with his girlfriend a week ago.
10
Thandolwethu's pov:
"I thought I loved her but I was wasting my time because I loved
you. I thought you were just a temptation" I say and she looks
hesitant to utter some words
"Well how did you find out I wasn't a temptation?" she asks
curiously
"My grandmother is a seer so she told me whoever I'm always
thinking about,I shouldn't be scared to take the risk to love her.
The person I'm always thinking about is you" I know it's cheesy
but damn this girl got me imagining having some kids with her.
"Just give me time to think about this"
"It's fine" I say after sighing
"But I like you" she says looking the other way. I smile
"I love you too baby" and she laughs. Our order comes and she
fetches princess from the play area. We're having a
conversation while eating. Me and Siyamu ordered ribs and
onion rings, chocolate milkshakes and a burger and apple juice
for princess. Just then a man and a pregnant woman come up
to us. Siyamu smiles and stands up to hug them. What's going
on?
"Senzo this is Thando and Princess,my boyfriend and our
daughter. Thando this is Senzo my ex and his current girlfriend
Lwando" the guy she had just introduced,Senzo loses his smile.
He looks hella rich. I'm not intimidated though
"So you had a daughter the whole time?" the guy,Senzo asks
Siyamu
"It's his daughter but she's mine too since I'm his girlfriend" she
says. So she's my girlfriend now?is this her way of saying yes?
"Can I touch?" She asks Lwando. She nods and Siyamu touches
her belly and talks to it and kisses it. "Guys please tell me when
my niece or nephew is born so I can come visit" she sounds so
excited. They all smile. Princess goes up to Lwando's stomach
"Hi baby I'm going to be your sister because my daddy doesn't
want me to have a younger sibling" we all laugh
"I will give you a call because we're on 7 months now." Senzo
says. Senzo then whispers something in Siyamu's ear and her
face lights up. Is she cheating on me?wait, we're not even
dating. I'm overthinking everything.
" It was nice meeting you Senzo and Lwando" I say faking a
smile and they leave. "What's going on between you and
Senzo?"
"What do you mean?"she asks not even bothered
"The whispering in your ear and your face suddenly lights up?"
She laughs,what the hell?
"Oh that,he was asking me if I'd like to help Lwando's sister plan
her surprise baby shower/gender reveal party. Didn't you see
me nod?"
"Okay then what did 'he's my boyfriend' mean?" She smiles and
I can't help but smile back
"That you're my boyfriend" I look at her waiting for her to
continue "it means I said yes dummy" she says and laughs. Then
she looks at me sternly "but I think you have trust issues,we
haven't even started dating and you're already getting mad
about another dude whispering in my ear?" She sounds
annoyed
"What would you have done if the wheels were turned and it
was my ex whispering in my ear and my face lights up" she
keeps quiet. "Yes,I thought so"
"Are you really daddy's girlfriend?are you my new mommy?"
Princess asks and Siyamu looks at me but I just keep quiet
"No Princess I'm only daddy's friend" she says,what?"Don't look
at me like that we still have to talk about this" princess finishes
and she's off to play again.
"I don't want our relationship to be public as yet. I mean we're
still getting to know each other. Please don't do this because
your grandmother said so,do it because you want this and you
imagine me in your future. I mean not even your brother's can
know that we're together"
"That's going to be hard because I'm a show off so having a
beautiful girlfriend is a bonus" I say and we laugh
"Not even princess has to know" she says eyeing me
"Okay okay not even her" she comes over to my side and hugs
me. A guy wearing black jeans and a black t-shirt comes up to
us.
"Good afternoon sir. Siyamu,Sandile said you should ride with
me since he's not coming back" she laughs. Why is her
bodyguard not dressed in a uniform?this is Siyamu's doing
"Yho Ndu it's fine,you know that one nje he always does this to
me" oh so he's Ndu? "Oh uhm where are my manners,Ndu this
is Thando,my friend and Thando this is Ndu my uncle" and they
laugh
"I'm only two years older dummy"
"You're her real uncle?" I ask confused
"No I'm her bodyguard but we're family now" he says smiling
and I smile too. My woman bafethu,she's everything. Ow-kay,
moving too fast perhaps
"Okay then I'll call you when I'm done,please go get me these
things at Checkers because I want to bake a cake for you
tomorrow since it's your birthday" she says smiling and Ndu
smiles back
"Sho maka junior" she laughs and writes something on his
phone. He walks out of the restaurant and we order a jug of
pure water.
"Will you cheat on me?" she asks looking at me and we both
laugh. The way she asked was so funny and her look just made
things worse. It was sort of a threat question.
"No and if I do,I won't do it intentionally"
"Don't hurt me please " she says sounding hurt
"I like you" I say and she blushes like crazy. I kiss her cheek
"I like you too" I kiss her cheek again. A different waiter comes
back with our water and we pay. She fetches Princess and she
looks like she's dead tired. "Does she live with you?" She asks
while we're walking out of the restaurant and princess is
walking slowly
"Princess come to me" I say because I know she wants to sleep.
"No daddy,aunty Siyamu please hold me because I'm sleepy"
she says looking at her. Siyamu picks her up and it takes a few
minutes for her to fall asleep
"To answer your question,no I don't live with her. She lives in
Joburg with my parents and she schools there"
"So why is she in her uniform?" She asks
"Because she had to go to a spelling bee here in Durban and
since they are done with school she's going to visit me so I just
fetched her from the competition because she also has clothes
here"
"Okay"
"How did you not know I have a daughter?everyone knows how
much I love princess"
"I didn't Google you,I don't even follow you on social media. I
was actually trying to stay away from you. When you posted her
on WhatsApp I thought it was Ntokozo's child because it
seemed like she is older than 5 years" she says
"I had her when I was 18,the best mistake of my life" she smiles
looking at me and I see someone taking pictures. Then she
stops walking
"Can we please go to the toilet" she says and we walk to the
toilet. She gives me princess and goes in. After 10 minutes she
comes out. "I swear I didn't know that it was that time of the
month. Please do this one favour for me,just buy me pads" she
says looking embarassed. Why is she embarassed?
"Don't be embarassed,it happens to every girl out there. And
you're not bothering me if that's what you think. Didn't your
clothes get stained?"
"No I'm not a heavy bleeder"
"Which pads do you use?"
"Always and buy the day time ones,medium" she says and then
I'm off to Spar. I get there and I see a girl who works there.
"Sorry sisi please direct me to the pads isle" she looks at me
seductively and bites her lips.
"They're in isle 10,follow me and I'll help you choose" she walks
and shakes her ass. I'm not even looking at her,she's got so
much make up on and I hate girls that throw themselves at me.
We get there.
"I need Always pads and medium size" she takes them and gives
them to me. I take two just incase.
"Don't you want my number?" She says while I'm walking away
and I ignore her. I also buy chocolates and sweets and chips. I
buy painkillers too. I pay and go back to the bathroom. I take
out one of the pads and give it to her,she does her thing and
comes out
"Thank you, atleast you listen" she says laughing.
"I also got you this for period pains" she kisses my cheek
"Thank you my love,you didn't have to. I don't have period
pains all the time. If my body is tired then it will hurt more but
today it hurts a lot since I've been working ever since I don't
know when" she says and sighs. I feel bad because I know her
profession requires always being active.
11
Thandolwethu's pov:
She walks us to my car,in the underground parking and I put
princess in the back seat. She's still sleeping. Siyamu calls Ndu
and he's still inside so I still have time with her. I pull her close
to me and smash my lips on hers gently,her lips are as soft as
they look. Her mouth tastes like sweets. After some time we
stop and she looks at me and laughs
"What?am I a bad kisser?" I ask
"No uSangweni junior is poking my stomach" and I laugh
"Oh so he already has a name?" She smiles
"That was the best kiss I've ever had in my whole life"
"I know,I have to love you and leave you though" she says. Oh
no already?this whole time we're standing outside my car
"Bye baby,call me when you get home" she kisses me one more
time
"I will" and she leaves walking slowly. I drive home and Aus'Lolo
is just finishing up with cooking. I greet her and change princess
into her pyjamas and put her in bed but it's still 2pm. I then get
a call from my baby. She's home safely. I then go to work,I have
my own production studio. Sangweni Productions. One is in
Joburg,one is here in Durban and another one is in Cape Town. I
get there and one of my artists is working on a song,it's Smash
Africa. I help him and by 4pm I'm on my way home. I get home
and watch cartoons with princess,they're actually interesting.
We eat and I sleep with princess.
A week flys by and I haven't seen Siyamu. We've just been
talking on the phone. It's still morning and I get a call from her.
"Baby"
"Hey babe,I have to go and bath now because I was thinking we
take Princess to the beach since she's going home next
week,anyways we're going to South Coast Beach" she says
"Oh okay let me get her dressed then we'll come pick you up"
we say our goodbyes and end the call. Finally I'll see my
girlfriend. I get princess ready and she's not excited about the
beach,she's excited to see aunty Siyamu. We get to her
apartment and she comes out wearing a short and a crop top.
Her boobs are big but not bigger than her ass so they look sexy
but people will see my assets.
"Hi aunty,I missed you so much" Siyamu kisses her cheek
"I missed you too baby"
"What about me?"I ask acting hurt
"I missed you too cry baby" she says laughing and gives me a
baby kiss
"So how's planning the baby shower going?"
"Babe it's tiring because I also have work,it's December now
and people are at groove more. That means more money for
us"
"You love money" we laugh
"Who doesn't love money?" Mxm this one
"Well it's next week and you're coming with me" I look at her
and she gives me puppy eyes "if you're not busy"
"There's nothing more important than you" I say telling her the
truth. We get to the beach and it's packed. We get out,find a
spot and put up our umbrella and towels on the sand. Princess
changes into her swim wear and goes to the kids pool.
"Her mother left me when she found a better man" she looks at
me attentively waiting for me to continue "I was 18 but I was a
fuck boy and her mother happened to be my girlfriend. She got
pregnant while we were at a party in December. She went
through 9 months of school pregnant because I begged her to
not abort. My mom and dad were disappointed,she blamed me
and said I ruined her life but I was the one who was always
encouraging her to continue with school and after the baby was
born she lived with us for two months because she needed to
breastfeed her. After that she got a man with a car and
abandoned her baby. My family wasn't rich and the situation
wasn't always nice. How was I going to afford a baby?I had to
look for work and I worked at a shop near home and I made
sure my baby always had clothes and was fed. Things got better
a year later when Ntokozo finished his degree and got a
permanent job. My mom stayed with the baby but Ntokozo
helped out where he could. When I finished studying music at
21,I got a job. Me and Ntokozo enlarged our parents house that
year but the next year I became a music producer for OTP
Records and that's when the big money started rolling in.
Ntokozo also got a better paying job and we bought our parents
a house in Joburg. I made sure all my younger siblings get to
study at the best schools,not by paying but by encouraging
them to get scholarships. Bayanda got a scholarship but the
twins didn't so me and Ntokozo had to pay their school fees.
Dad got a job when he moved to Joburg and he now pays the
twins school fees and he doesn't ever ask us for anything but I
feel we owe him for working his ass off so we can always be fed.
I loved Londi but she came back when Princess was 5 and
claimed to love me but I know she only did it because she saw
that now I'm starting to get rich and famous. My love for her
died a long time ago so you don't have to worry about any baby
mama drama" she then starts crying "shh don't cry,come here"
she sit on top of me facing me and she has her head on my neck
and she's sniffing. Now I just feel bad about this. I made this
phenomenal woman cry over half the truth
"Baby you didn't deserve that,I promise I won't leave you no
matter what. I'll always love and cherish our relationship. I don't
ever want to be away from you" she says sniffing,her voice
breaking
"I love you too baby and I don't want you leaving me too" we
stay for a while and then we leave after eating. We drop Siyamu
at home after a dozen kisses. Siyamu and I,text and call
everyday,every hour to be exact. We can't get enough of each
other.
It's now Saturday,the day of the baby shower/gender reveal
party and I'm going to pick up Siyamu. Princess is visiting at
Ntokozo's house since his kids are also in Durban. She comes
out wearing a slim tight fit baby blue under the knee strip dress
with strapless white Versace heels. I'm wearing dark blue jeans
and a white Nike t-shirt with Gucci sneakers. I go outside and
hug her while grabbing her ass. She laughs
"Look at you Mr arrogant not going with the theme" she says.
We get in the car and were off to Senzo and Lwando's house.
We get there and there are already many people setting up and
some are just sitting. Siyamu introduces me to Lwando's sister
and they check if everything is in place. Senzo is now outside
with Lwando. We're in the longue,a crowd of about 50 people
which is family and friends of Lwando and Senzo. There are pink
and blue balloons and a big white balloon which Lwando and
Senzo will pop to find out the baby's gender. There is a table full
of presents and two big chairs for our couple. The food is in the
kitchen. Lwando opens the door and she is wearing a blue maxi
dress and maternity sandals. Senzo follows behind
"Surprise!!!" we all shout. Lwando starts crying. Senzo holds her
"Babe you knew about this all along and you didn't tell me" she
says
"Yes baby we wanted it to be a surprise"
"I'm so happy,thank you everyone" people go up and hug her
and Siyamu and I are the last ones.
"Babe her and Sthunywa planned all of this and made it
possible,it's also going to be a gender reveal" Senzo says smiling
"Thank you so much Siyamu,God will bless you abundantly. This
is beautiful"
"It's always a pleasure sthandwa sakhe(his love)" and we laugh.
Me and Senzo bro hug. After all the greetings we play games
and eat. Now it's time for the gender reveal and everyone has
their phones out recording. Lwando is given a needle and we
count down from ten and she pops the balloon. Blue sparkles
come out and they all shout excited. Lwando's mom is so happy.
"Oh so you knew and didn't tell me"I say to Siyamu. She laughs
and God her laughter is beautiful. It's now time for the
speeches and Lwando and Senzo speak first
"We'd just like to thank Sthunywa and Siyamu for the hard work
they put into making this party possible. We love you both and
thank you once again,while we're doing the speeches,you guys
will be served cake but for now Siyamu is turning into DJ
Siyamu. Can we get a round of applause" Senzo says and my
baby walks up there and takes off her heels. My girlfriend is
ghetto. I laugh. She does her things and we all have fun.
12
Thandolwethu's pov:
4 months later
I can't believe it's been 6 amazing months with my baby and
we're still going strong. It's April now and next month it's my
birthday. I'm really not excited,I just want to be with my baby.
I'm woken up by my phone ringing and I answer the video call.
It's my whole family except my dad, we're planning his surprise
50th birthday.
"Guys what's the time,how can you call so early in the
morning?" I ask partly annoyed because what the hell?
"Ayibo Thando it's 11am" my mom says. Have we slept that
long?I look besides me and I smile because she's facing the
other way with the blanket up to her boobs and the tattoo she
has of her dad's face on her back. Under it is his birth date and
his departure date. It's beautiful.
"Relax mom he's not alone,I'm sure he was keeping the poor
girl up all night" Ntokozo says and we laugh. Come to think of it
her moans drive me crazy and the way she says my clan names
when I hit her g spot. Yesterday she was riding me like crazy.
"Ndo can you show me your room,I've never seen it" my gran
says. I turn my camera around the room making sure I don't
show my bed. " Mmh nice but I want to see your bed" and they
all laugh. I get out of bed and show her my bed and they see
that there's a woman in the bed because of her braids. She did
those small braids but long and curly ends and they're black and
gold. Atleast they don't see her face. I put the camera back on
selfie mode and then get back into bed. My brothers clap their
hands making a big commotion.
"I don't see her nje" Lihle says and we laugh
"That's the point,to not see her" I say. She wakes up and rubs
her eyes like she always does. She notices that I'm on a video
call so she just plays with my beard and gosh my family sees her
nails
"Yho she has nice nails,they look like the ones DJ Siyamu has
currently" Sne says and my brothers open their eyes wide and
Siyamu laughs
"Oh bro you're hiding things from us now" Bayanda says "Hey
Siyamu"
"Hi Bayanda" Siyamu shouts back and the twins scream. "Baby
I'm going to make breakfast,what would you like to eat?"
"You" I say and everyone laughs even her
"Ndo angidlali nawe uzolamba mfana" she says and my mom
looks confused. Siyamu leaves the room
"She calls you Ndo?" My mom asks and my brothers laugh
"Weeh mom you're behind" Bayanda says
"I told you to take the risk" my grandmother says. We discussed
dad's party which is next week and we say our goodbyes.
"You better bring her to your dad's party or else" my mom
warns giving me the look
"Who said I won't come with her?" And we all laugh and end
the call. I go downstairs and she's making a farm house of
breakfast. I hug her from behind,she's wearing my boxers and
my t-shirt but it's oversized for her. She has clothes at my house
but I prefer her to wear mine,she looks sexy. I kiss her nape and
she moans,fuck. I stop because I'll fuck her on this stove. She
finishes and we eat.
"Look at you,you've gained weight and you're even glowing" I
say admiring my girlfriend
"What can I say?my boyfriend is treating me good and I'm at a
good space in my life" she says acting like she's at an interview
and we laugh
"Babe do you think you're ready to meet my family?" I ask her.
She looks at me and stops eating.
"With you by my side,I'm ready for anything" she says and
continues with her food. I stand up and hug her from behind
"Next week then,it's my dad's surprise party so my mom said
she wanted to see you" her eyes pop out
"So soon?what am I going to wear?"
"Something comfortable but the theme is white so I'm thinking
we get you a dress and some sandals,if you're cool with that"
"That's fine" we finish eating and took an almost innocent
shower. The only mistake she made was kissing me. I slip in one
finger in her nana and she moans my name. I slip in two and
then three and then when I feel she's wet enough. I push myself
in and fuck it's warm in here. The rest is history.After the
session we had,I'm lotioning her and she does the same to me.
We wear the same type of black ripped jeans,our Jordan 1's
which are red and black. I wear a white Nike t-shirt and she
wears a black Nike t-shirt. We take mirror pictures and most of
them I'm holding her waist and kissing her anywhere really. She
tied her braids into a neat bun and put on lipgloss. We also take
selfies. She chooses 3 pictures of the ones where I'm holding
her waist and kissing her cheek and a video of me kissing her
neck and posts them on her Instagram page with the caption
"through thick and thin,till eternity" I repost the same pictures
and video on my page and people are going crazy reposting on
their stories,some are even saying we're their new favourite
couple. We go downstairs and Siyamu heads off to drink water
in the kitchen. There's a buzz at the gate. I open it and few
minutes after,my friends get in but it's not all of them. It's
Thapelo my best friend with his girlfriend Khosi,Ntando and
Kuhle,my cousin. I bro hug them and hug Khosi
"You're all over Instagram and I still don't know your girlfriend"
Thapelo says and we laugh
"Baby" I shout and they all look at me
"I'm coming" she shouts from the kitchen
"Siyamu is here?" Ntando asks
"Yeah don't you see that I'm wearing the same outfit from the
pictures on Instagram" I say laughing
"And to think we were all out and you guys acted as just
friends" Kuhle says. Siyamu appears in the longue carrying a
bottle of water
"Sanbonani(hello everyone)" she says looking at all the people
in the room while smiling. I introduce everyone and she hugs all
of them and I notice Ntando looking at her like he's tearing up
her clothes with his eyes. This dude is always looking at other
people's girlfriend's and never finds his own. Okay it's only now
that I notice how big her ass looks in those jeans.
"Yho it's nice to finally meet the girl who makes my home boy
go crazy" Thapelo says and we laugh
"I'm glad I'm that girl" she looks at me smiling
"Are you guys going somewhere?" Ntando asks
"Yeah,why?" I say
"We were here to fetch you since we're doing a last minute get
together" he says
"Babe is it fine if we go to the get together?" I ask Siyamu
"Yeah sure,dat is nie 'n probleem nie(that is not a problem). Let
me just go take jackets for us" she says and she goes upstairs
"She speaks Afrikaans?" Khosi asks
"Her mom is half coloured" I say. She comes back and we lock
the house and go outside.
13
Siyamu's pov:
We're outside and he wants us to go with the Porsche while I
want us to take the black Golf R. After a few minutes he gets in
the Golf acting all mad
"Babe I love that car but it's just a get together,nothing big" I
say
"We're only taking this one because I love you" he says sulking. I
connect my phone to the cars Bluetooth. I play some RnB.
"Realise all my blessings,I'm grateful to have you by my side. I
am in love with you,you set me free. I cannot do this thing
called life without you here with me" I sing while taking a video
with his phone and he can hear me since the volume is not that
loud. His reaction is priceless
"Babe watch the road" I say and laugh
"Baby I've known you for so long but you have never sang for
me. You sing like Beyoncé man baby" he says and we laugh. We
get to Ntando's house as I've been told and there is like 5 more
cars here. I leave our jackets and bags in the car and just take
both our phones. We get in the house with Thapelo and the
others and we start at the backyard where there are guys only.
Everyone turns their attention to us and Thapelo introduces me
to everyone
"Dude it's my girlfriend but you're doing the introduction ahy
you're forward" my baby says and everyone laughs. There is
Zakhe,Lunga,Lindelani and Qiniso.
"Yho dawg you're dating Siyamu and you don't even give us a
hint" Qiniso says and we all laugh
"I'll take that as a compliment" I say smiling
"Let me introduce her to the girls then before Thapelo does the
honours" Ndo says sarcastically and we laugh once again.
Atleast his friends are good looking like him. Ndo is tall but not
that tall,he has caramel skin,pink lips,big but sexy ears,bushy
eyebrows and medium eyes. He also has a brush cut.We get to
the kitchen and there's like 4 girls here excluding Khosi and I.
"Hey girls" Ndo says and they all turn to look at us. These girls
are beautiful. "This is Siyamu,my girlfriend" and he introduces
them. It's Zanele,Zakhe's girl. Okuhle,Lunga's sister. Sanele,their
highschool friend. Sisanda, Lindelani's girlfriend. Okuhle is
heavily pregnant
"Finally we get to meet the girl our friend calls every minute"
Okuhle says and we laugh
"It's really nice meeting you and you're even more beautiful in
real life" Zanele says
"Thank you,you guys are pretty too. You look like models" and
they laugh
"Thank you for the compliments but Sisanda is the real model"
Okuhle says and Sisanda starts cat walking. We all hype her up
"I'll leave you then since it looks like you're in good hands"
Thando says and kisses my cheeks and leaves.
"How many months are you now?" I ask Okuhle
"6 months but I'm already tired" Okuhle answers
"Yeah it's tiring,the problem is that Okuhle is stubborn and she
doesn't want to sit down" Khosi says and we all laugh
"Anything I can help with?" I ask
"No don't worry we're almost done here. The only thing left is
the salads" Sisanda says and I nod
"So tell us how you met Thando" Sanele asks
"We met in Soweto when I had a gig at Konka,he was there with
his brothers. He is my manager's childhood friend but we didn't
stay long because I had another gig after that. Then we met the
2nd time when I was at Mug n Bean and that's when he got my
number but at that time he was still dating another girl from
Jozi so we were just friends and even when they broke up,I was
fighting the strong feeling I had towards him until he told me
how he felt about me and luckily he felt the same way. That was
November last year" I said reminiscing on the memories
"Wow I know that feeling,thinking if he's feeling the same way
or not. Yho" Okuhle says
"Yeah" all of us say except Sanele and we laugh at ourselves.
Lindelani and Lunga come in while we're laughing
"Ladies we're done with the meat" Lunga says and puts the
meat on the table then kisses Okuhle's belly. I smile thinking of
my brother but my smile fades.
"And then wena(you) Sanele,why umuncu(are you sour) while
everyone is laughing" Lindelani asks and we all put our
attention on her. Thando and Thapelo come in the kitchen and
Thando holds my waist from behind and kisses my cheek. I
smile and we hold hands,he's such a touchy boyfriend and I
love it
"I thought you loved me" she says looking at Thando. Okay
what's going on and how did I miss it? They all keep quiet "you
used me and threw me away like some piece of shit and she
gets to have a happily ever after with you?" She says pointing
her ugly finger at me
"Oh come on everybody knows you've always wanted Thando
and he never wanted you" Thapelo says. Sheesh,cold.
"We only fucked once and we agreed that it will be a no strings
attached thing,that was like 4 years ago" Ndo says looking
annoyed.
"But you chose her over me?" Sanele says
"Sanele you can't compare an Uno with a Ferrari" I say annoyed
and everyone laughs loudly. I guess she gets pissed and storms
out. We continue with the braai and drink till it's late. I'm not
that drunk since I was drinking ciders. I drive us home because
Thando is all over the place. We get home safely and we shower
and I think the water sobers him up a little because he starts
kissing me and we have one round in the shower. We have
another one while we were trying to get dressed,don't look at
me like that. I can't get enough of him. I sleep in my lace panty
with nothing else on and he sleeps in his boxers. We look at
each other and he looks so cute with his full eyebrows and
medium eyes and his juicy pink lips with the moon shining on
his light caramel skin.
"I can't get enough of you" he says and kisses my nose
"Why don't we just get married?" I say and we laugh hard and
loud. "But baby you've got to stop hanging out with girls you've
once fucked,they're a temptation"
"You gotta stop controling me" what?where is this coming
from?
"I don't control you" I say and he just turns and has his back on
me "so you don't want to talk about this?"
"No I also don't want to talk to you" is this guy on his periods?
"I'm leaving then"
"It's 4am,you can't do that" he says looking at me like I'm crazy
"Yes I'm leaving because you're acting like a bitch and I don't
know why" I say and leave after only taking my phone and
realising that my car isn't here. I take his keys from the drawer
and drive the Porsche back to my apartment. I update my
Instagram story and write 'when you only want the best for
someone and they say you're controlling them,this sucks' and I
add a sad face emoji. Some girl commented on my recent
post,the one of the pictures of me and Ndo and said 'It will end
in tears' with laughing emojis and I pinned her comment and
commented under it and said 'what if it started in tears and it
will end in happiness?stop being a hater,nawe zizoza
izinkomo(your dowry will also come)' and I don't think anyone
has seen it since it's 5am. I set my alarm to 8am and sleep. It's
only now that I realized that I'm in my underwear only. Was I
that mad?
There's this annoying buzzing sound,oh it's my alarm. I have 6
missed calls from Thando,I'm that much of a deep sleeper. I
wake up and bath and wear my Tango blue shirt dress and flip
flops and take Ndo's car and off I go to the photoshoot me and
my team have to go to. I get there and everybody is going crazy
over this car
"Haa boss lady when did you buy a new car?" Sandile says and
we all laugh. He likes calling me boss lady
"It's not mine. It's bae's car,we fought so I took his car" I say
shrugging not bothered about him. We start getting ready and
Sandile is with me in the room I'm doing my make up in.
14
Siyamu's pov:
"So tell me what happened..." Sandile crosses his legs and
listens attentively.
"We were going out ne and his friends came by to take him to a
last minute braai and they said I should tag along. We get there
and I'm introduced to everyone and we all get along except this
one girl Sanele,you know her?" He nods. I've always loved this
about Sandile,he's a great listener. "She starts saying that Ndo
should've chosen her instead of me and stuff so Ndo was
explaining that he never loved her and it was a no strings
attached thing. We were fine and I drive us home at about 3am
and we get home and shower and have 2 rounds. We get in bed
and he's telling me how much he can't get enough of me and I
tell him what I feel just like Sindy suggested. I tell him he should
stop hanging out with girls he's once fucked because they're
going to be a temptation. Then he says I should stop trying to
control him and he looks the other way and he's not talking to
me anymore. He said he doesn't want to talk about this and he
doesn't want to talk to me and it was 4am. I said I'm leaving and
I called him a bitch. He didn't even come after me. I mean it
hurts because we were even talking about me meeting his
family next week and now things are just going wrong" I say but
no tears fall. Not that I don't have any emotions,I don't like
crying infront of people. This make-up lady will see me cry.
"Listen Siyamu you can't control what he says or does or feels
but you can talk to him about it,I see you've been ignoring his
calls and messages. You guys should talk this out because I feel
like it's a big misunderstanding. Be the bigger person and
apologize for your wrongs and tell him how you feel" he says.
He's always been great at giving advice. He's just mad at
following his own advice.
"Come here" I open my arms wide for a hug and he hugs me
back "thank you Sandile. I want to do something for you to
show you how much you mean to me and how grateful I am for
everything you do for me"
"You can try but fact is you're bad at presents and gifts" he says
and we laugh
"That's true then"
"You're trending on Instagram and Twitter these days wena,why
did you put that girl in line like that?" he says and we laugh
"Ahha she must just stop being jealous naye uzowthola
umendo(and she'll also get marriage)" I say and the girl finishes
with the makeup. I get dressed in black Gucci track pants and a
black boob tube bodysuit with a black Louis Vuitton half Jean
jacket with fur and black Louis Vuitton pencil heels. They style
my 40 inch black straight weave and they keep it straight. I did a
full face beat but with no lipstick on,just clear lip gloss. We take
the shots and I post most of them on Instagram captioned
"nothing would be possible without izinja zami(my
dawgs)behind the scenes" and then we wear the clothes we all
came in but I don't take off my make up and weave. We head to
a game reserve.
"But guys I'm wearing flip flops and a dress" I say and they all
laugh at me
"We told you to change but you're stubborn" Phila says,our
travel manager and we laugh. Just then Siyanda calls
"Usuwangi lahla yini skhokho sami(have you forgotten me now
my winner?)" is the first thing he says when I answer his call. Oh
my dear brother. I hope God keeps him long enough for me.
"No but you're busy living it up and you've forgotten about
me,your little sister" he's not my parents child and we are not
blood related but the bond we share is tight.
"I see you're even glowing because you're dating" I haven't
talked to him in like a month and that's so unlike us
"No you've started,you see" I say and laugh "but on a serious
note,I know you're calling me because you're home and I'm
coming when I'm done what I'm doing and cook for me but
don't burn down the house" I say and we laugh.
"I hope you're not with your man because I'll kill him" he says
and we say our goodbyes and hang up. We take pictures with
the animals and feed them. Sandile stays away because he's
scared,shame. I leave when they go eat and go buy MacDonald
for Siyanda and I. I get to his house and it's quiet,wow atleast
he took me serious when I said I'm coming. I laugh at the
thought. I don't even knock
"Honey I'm home!" I shout from the door and he comes rushing
down and almost slips and falls because he is wearing socks and
his floor is shiny. He hugs the living day lights out of me
"I missed you so much baby sis,mmh what you got there" he
says digging in the paper bag
"Can we at least sit down" I say laughing. He picks a movie and
it's action of course,we eat while watching and having
conversations like the good old times and my phone rings. I look
at him,he just pauses the movie
"Answer it,I want to see if Paul will die or not" he says and I
laugh. It's Sangweni wami. I put it on silent
"You know you can't ignore the guy forever right?" He says
looking at me. I just keep quiet "Siyamu I know you and you
would call back if it was one of your friends,I know it's that
Sangweni guy that is disrespecting me" I laugh because he's
jealous. I answer his call
"Hello" I say
"Baby we need to talk"
"I'm busy Thando" just then Siyanda grabs the phone from me
"Listen here mfana omncane(small boy),I will find you and cut
your balls off because you're making my little sister upset and
you don't want to know what happens to people that disrespect
me so you'll stop calling her right now" he says coldly in a deep
intimidating voice. He ends the call and hugs me and kisses my
forehead. His favourite place
"Don't ask yourself that question,you are good enough. It's
these fuck boys who don't know a diamond when they see one"
"Yeah they don't. But back to the movie,Paul won't die because
he's the steering of the movie"
"Well let's see" he says and unpauses the movie. I missed this,I
love it here with my my brother. I really miss us but I
understand that we're both in the entertainment industry and
he was on tour for this past month that's why I didn't see him
and he was always busy but he'd call from time to time.
15
Siyamu's pov:
I wake up on my brother's chest because his snoring is annoying
me. I check the time and it's 9am. Wow,we really had fun
yesterday. He wakes up and looks at me and smiles
"Don't even start,it's still early" I say squinting my eyes and he
laughs
"But you're ugly when you've just woken up,what must I do
about it because I have to tell you" he says and laughs his ass
off. I get up and leave him laughing and make us breakfast. He's
bathing in his bedroom and I'm bathing in mine. Perks of being
his little sister,I have my own room. I finish up and head to the
kitchen. I find him already eating and I join him and we take
pictures and videos and we both post them on our Instagram
stories. People really think I'm successful because of my
brother. Yes,my brother is thee Siyanda Nkumane the rapper.
No,I did it all on my own.
We go out for ice-cream as usual and find a nearby park to
enjoy our ice-cream.
"I missed this" I say honestly
"I miss this too and I'm not promising anything but from today
onwards I'll make more time for us"
"When are you getting a girlfriend?" I ask laughing
"There's too many of them,you would mix up their names if you
knew them and get me in trouble with my main girl" we laugh
after he says that
"But seriously Musa needs a sibling,that kid is too spoiled" he
smiles,I'm sure he's thinking about him. Musa is 4 and Siyanda
is 26.
"When I settle down, you'll be the first one to know"
"I know" I say and we laugh because it's true. We finish and chill
for a while and take pictures and I post one on my Instagram
page. We're holding hands while he's feeding me his ice-cream.
The caption is 'when I count my blessings,I count you twice'.
Since we took Ndo's car,I take him back to his place and we say
our goodbyes. I head home because at 2pm I have a gig. I get to
my apartment door and there's a bunch of lillies. This isn't Ndo.
He'd buy me sunflowers and he knows I hate flowers. I pick
them up and there's a note inside. It's written ' I've only met
you once but I think about you all the time. From your secret
admirer' I laugh and get in my apartment and put them in a
vase. I've got 2 hours to bath and get dressed and get to my gig
on time. I get dressed in a black tight strap dress and it's short. I
pair it with white Gucci sneakers and I let my braids down.
Sandile hoots outside in our work car and I quickly lock and
outside my door is a box of chocolates. I just skip them and
quickly lock,this is getting creepy now.
In the car,the girl who does my make-up quickly does her thing.
"Sandile can you help me please?" I say flashing my eyelashes
up and down
"With what?" What's wrong with him today?
"Who put you in a bad mood?"
"It's just one of those days, she'll come back to me"
"What happened?"
"We were on the topic about marriage and I told her I'm not
ready to get married and then she stormed out"
"She'll come back when she realizes that she can't force you to
marry her and Sandz I know you want to but you're scared"
"I love how I'm not only your manager but I'm your friend" he
says smiling and I smile too. We get to Lucky Park in Pinetown
and it's packed. I get on stage and people scream,this time I
didn't come alone we brought dancers with us. I play with the
deck and the dancers stop dancing after the 7th song as
instructed. They did a great job. After my job is done,people ask
to take pictures with me and we do that. Then I go change into
my two piece white Louis Vuitton bikini with a v-shaped
underwear and a boobtube bra. There are pools in this park.
Sandile and Buhle also change into their swimwear. We are
joined by my bodyguards since I literally forced them to join us.
"Siyamu we just wanna say thank you for everything" Ndu says
and I frown "I know what you're going to say and please don't
say that it's nothing. You treat us like family and not everyone
can treat us like that"
"You take care of our families,you always think about our
families first before yourself" Mpendulo says
"You even bake for us and cook sometimes" Stix says
"You even bought an apartment near where my family lives
because you didn't want me to move far away from them" Ndu
says again
"Guys you'll make me cry,stop now" I say and we all laugh "this
wouldn't have been possible without you guys. You protect me
from literally everything and I'm grateful for that. I forever will
be,so... group hug!" I say the last part shouting and we all do a
group hug and we chill and play in the water until it's dark and
it's time to go home
"Why don't we just go get drunk?" I ask because I want to get
drunk
"Let's go change then" Sandile says and we laugh
"Uncles,you're drinking with us but don't get too drunk because
you guys still have to protect umshana wenu(your niece)" I say
to my bodyguards and they chuckle. I'm so hurt,Ndo hasn't
called or texted and it's been a whole day. We go to Sandile's
crib since it was the closest and bath and I get changed into
jeans and white t-shirts from The North Face and a Jean jacket. I
wear my McAllister black and white sneakers. We head to Allen
Street Club. We sit in the VIP and we order some alcohol and
chill and talk. I stand up and go to the general and people go
crazy. We take pictures with them but my bodyguards are
always behind me. I dance with people and after about 20
minutes,we go back to the VIP. I find Ndo and his brothers
seated at our table. Bayanda and Ntokozo get up to hug me and
I introduce the guys to them and sit down next to Sandile. Ndo
just gets busy with his phone while we're talking and enjoying.
Sandile whispers in my ear
"You guys haven't talked about it?"
"No and please don't do or say anything" I whisper back. He
smiles and I smile back. When I look over to the other side,Ndo
is staring at us like he is annoyed by us. I'm browsing through
my WhatsApp and Ndo texts me
'lets go talk outside'
'you're not even asking me and then you say I'm controlling'
'please:( '
I get up and take his hand and we go outside and it's not that
packed since it's a Thursday. He looks at me and I look at
him,I'm so annoyed by his bullshit.
16
Thandolwethu's pov:
"What do you want to talk about?" She says and she looks
annoyed. I would be too if I was her
"Baby I'm so sorry,I don't know what came over me that I said
what I said and I thought it was right to let you drive alone in
the morning"
"If you were really sorry you would've talked to me the moment
you saw me. You would've called and left multiple texts. If you
loved me you wouldn't have let me leave while it's dark outside
because you know what happens to vulnerable women out
there. You don't care about me either" she says half shouting
"Baby I'm sorry,I'll do anything to make it up to you"okay now
I'm stressing "but please don't bail out on meeting my family
tomorrow"
"Sangweni how can I not bail when things are like this between
us?"
"We can fix this baby please"
"Okay we're going then but I'm sleeping at your house since we
have to use one car" she says and I kiss her cheeks,her nose and
her forehead. She trys to hide her smile but I can see it. We
head back into the club and at about 1am we leave with
Ntokozo and Bayanda. We're going to my house. We get there
and we say our goodnight's and me and Siyamu head to our
room. Her ass is shaking up and down when she walks
"Take a picture,it lasts longer" she says and I chuckle and bite
my lip."No,your older brother is here so no"
"But baby" I sulk
"No Ndo" she says and takes off her sneakers and then jeans
and t-shirt. She's left with her g-string and bra. Shit. I take off
my shirt and pants to show her how hungry I am. She laughs
and I help her take off her bra. Her babies go loose and my dick
is getting harder by the second,it even hurts. I kiss her neck and
she opens her mouth for air,I know she is damn wet. I play with
her boobs and then start sucking on her hard brown nipples.
After that,we had makeup sex. She's laying on my chest while
we're still naked. I'm playing with her hair while she's drawing
circles on my chest while listening to my heart beat. I love her,I
love this,I love where we are,at home. She falls asleep and I get
time to think. I know why I did what I did and said what I said.
I'm scared,I'm scared that she'll hurt me and leave me so I'm
pushing her away but I feel the spark. It's there and it's not
going anywhere. I love her but she'll find a better man and leave
me,just like Snothando's mother did. Maybe I should stop
comparing her to Londi. I feel like if I tell her how I feel she'll say
I'm weak or be offended that I don't trust her.
I don't know when I fell asleep but I'm woken up by someone
kissing my face over and over again. I open my eyes and the sun
blinds me for a few minutes. She's still naked and she's sitting
on top of my dick. Mmh now I want her
"No we have to bath and be on our way" she says laughing
"But baby why?" I say sulking while she goes into my
bathroom,in the shower
"Because we don't want to be late " she shouts back and I join
her in the shower. This time we really take an innocent shower.
It's 11am. I get dressed in blue jeans and my white The North
Face t-shirt with my Gucci flip flops. She dresses in her blue
jeans and Nike black t-shirt with her Gucci flip flops. I
laugh,copy cat. She looks at me and smiles,my heart melts
"What's wrong baby?" she asks in her sweet cherry voice
"You're just so beautiful and I can't imagine my life without you"
"I love you too baby and thank you for all the love you've given
me. You even gave me a daughter" she comes up to hug me
after saying that. We stay in that hug for about 5 minutes
before letting go. We head downstairs to the kitchen. We find
Bayanda and Ntokozo already there.
"Ntokozo did you sleep this morning?" Bayanda asks
"No bro and you?" Ntokozo replies
"No dude" Bayanda says and they laugh
"We missed the joke" I say not getting what they're on about
"You should get your room sound proofed" Bayanda says and
Siyamu laughs and hides her face on my chest, embarrassed
and I'm just proud
"I loved the part where he made her scream our clan names"
Ntokozo says
"Eeuw guys why were you listening?" Siyamu says and we all
laugh
"I was passing going to the tv room since I left my shoes there
and then I fetched Ntokozo" Bayanda says
"But we left after that" Ntokozo adds and we all laugh. Siyamu
starts making breakfast for all of us. We eat when she's done
"So how's our trip looking like?" Bayanda asks
"We have to start at the garage so we'll buy food and snacks
and fill up the car" my baby says,she's so smart. She's adorable
"We're taking the Vito bro" Ntokozo says
"But why?we could just take the Porsche because there's only 4
of us" I say
"There's 5 of us,there's someone we need to pick up at the
mall" Ntokozo answers and we all look at each other and he
chuckles.
"This has a girl in it,don't say I didn't tell you" Siyamu says and
we laugh because that's not the Ntokozo we know but who
knows?Siyamu changed me too
"Well that may be true,maybe not" Ntokozo says
"I'm driving then" Siyamu says
"We're not ready to die,you drive like a taxi driver" I say and we
all laugh "I'm driving baby"
"Suit yourself" she responds and after that her eyeballs pop out
just like she does when she forgot something
"What did you forget?" I ask because I know she forgot
something
"Baby I forgot to pack for you"
"Don't worry,I already packed because I thought we weren't
going to fix things anytime soon"
"That's such a relief but please don't talk about that silly
argument we had,it was pointless" she says looking rather not
bothered by what she is saying. I let her be and we start packing
our things into the car.
17
Thandolwethu's pov:
I'm driving and Siyamu is sitting by my side while Ntokozo and
Bayanda are at the back. We are headed to the mall to get
Ntokozo's girlfriend. We get there and the rest of us chill in the
car while Ntokozo fetches her. Siyamu's phone rings and she
disconnects it since it was connected to the cars Bluetooth.
Why would she do that?she always answers while it's
connected. She gets out and closes the door and answers her
phone. Weird,is she cheating on me?she looks happy though.
She opens the door after and places the phone on her seat after
connecting the Bluetooth again because we were listening to
music.
"I'm coming back,I'm going to get us some food at McDonald.
Anything anybody doesn't eat?" She says smiling
"Ntokozo doesn't eat chicken" I say
"Oh okay,I'll be back then" she says and closes the door.
Bayanda jumps to the seat infront and we jam to music. We see
Ntokozo walking to the car with a yellowbone lady that is
slender and looks like a model. She's even wearing heels and a
weave and she's wearing makeup. Not my type,Siyamu is my
type ever since I met her but this girl is beautiful man. We get
out of the car.
"Gents this is Thuli,my girlfriend and Thuli these are my
brothers" Ntokozo says and Thuli smiles
"It's a pleasure meeting you guys" she says while shaking our
hands
"Same here Thuli" Bayanda says kissing the back of her hand
and Ntokozo slaps his hand
"Ouch dude" Bayanda says and we get in the car. They get in the
back
"Where is Siyamu?" Ntokozo asks
"She went to get us some McDonald's" Bayanda says and just
then Siyamu appears with a man wearing a McDonald's
uniform. She is carrying 5 drinks while the man is carrying two
MacDonald paper bags. I rush out and take the paper bags from
the guy.
"Thank you bafo(brother),she's got help now" I say hurriedly as
as
"Thanks Mandla,my husband can handle it from here" she says
smiling at the guy. We head to the car and she gets in the front
seat. I pass the paper bags to the back
"Baby look behind you,this is Thuli Ntokozo's girlfriend and
Thuli this is Siyamu,my girlfriend" I say and Siyamu smiles with
her beautiful white teeth and jumps to the back and Thuli trys
shaking her hand but she pulls her in for a hug
"I don't do handshakes" Siyamu says "by the way nice meeting
the girl who's got our brother's heart" she says sarcastically and
we all laugh
"It was nice meeting you too " she says. She seems shy. Siyamu
jumps back to the front
"So I'm your husband now?" I ask sarcastically
"But he was asking me out so he had to know that I'm taken"
"But baby you shouldn't have asked him to help you carry those
things"
"I didn't,the manager said he should help me" she says laughing
"But why did you thank him for helping you out while I had
already thanked him" I say sulking
"Baby stop sulking,you were rude and I wasn't" she says
laughing
"Who ever thought that this will be Thando?sulking ?" Bayanda
says and we all laugh
"Uyaphapha wena(you are forward)" I say and off we go to
Johannesburg. It's been 1 hour and everyone seems to be
getting along well. Siyamu's phone rings again and this time she
doesn't disconnect it.
"Lil sis" a male voice says. I look at her
"Khehla lami(my old man)" she says and they both laugh
"Atleast le khehla(this old man) has an Audi RS3"
"Ishuu ngigcwele ke ntwana yami(I'm taken dude)"
"Yho the way I miss you,you'd swear we weren't together just
yesterday"
"Siyanda we should talk about this some other time ne because
I'm with my in-laws right now" Siyamu says and they laugh
"As long as I haven't received any dowry,you don't have in-laws
sis that's how it works. You're as good as single and wena mfana
wakwa Sangweni(and you Sangweni boy) don't impregnant my
baby sis otherwise uzonya(you will shit yourself)" he says and
honestly his threats scare me a bit. I don't want her to fight with
people in her life because they disapprove of us. But I love
Siyamu and I'd do anything for her
"Siyanda Nkumane you have drama shame" she says and laughs
"Okay then sis we'll talk later if I'm not busy. I love you sdudla
sami(my fattie)"
"I love you too khehla lami" she says and hangs up
"Yho you're in trouble Thando dude" Bayanda says and we
laugh
"You never told me your brother is Siyanda Nkumane" I say
"We're not blood related but we've been close since I was 12
and he was 15. Since then we've been brother and sister" she
says explaining
"Baby you see that I know almost everything about you but I
know nothing about your family and your past"
"We'll talk about it some other time Ndo,this is not a good
time" she says really calm. Shit,she's boiling inside. "So
Thuli,how long have you and Ntokozo been together?"
"It's been a year" she responds and Siyamu widens her eyes
"Yabona Thandolwethu Sangweni" she says through her teeth
"we'll talk about this wena yezwa yini(do you hear me)" she's
mad
"Yeah we've had our ups and downs a lot since we started
dating but these past few months we've been great so we
decided it's time to meet each others family" Ntokozo says. We
continue conversing until we get to Ultra City which is in the
middle of nowhere for traveling people. We all head to the
toilet,Thuli is still wearing her heels and honestly I don't
understand how she doesn't get tired. We get out of the toilet
and people are stopping us and taking pictures. Out of nowhere
Siyamu's bodyguards come and help us out. We buy some
snacks and treats. Well the 4 of us only buy drinks like
water,energy drinks and juice but Siyamu is taking chips and
sweets and cakes and everything sweet. Even ice-cream. We
head back to the car and Siyamu starts eating before the car
even starts moving. Her window is rolled down.
18
Thandolwethu's pov:
A beautiful yellowbone woman with deep dimples comes up to
her window. She's thick and she's with an old man. Siyamu
hasn't seen her as she's busy with her food.
"Siyamu no this can't be you" she screams and Siyamu looks up
and her face lights up
"Lwandile Nyathi?is this you?" Siyamu says and goes out to hug
her. A deep,deep hug. The 'i missed you so much' type of hug.
"Sawbona Baba(hello dad)" Siyamu says to the old man. He
smiles
"Yebo ntombi(yes girly)" the old man says "Luuh you'll find me
in the car " and he walks away after saying that.
"Dude I last saw you when we were 16" Lwandile says and she
has tears in her eyes. Siyamu gives her phone to Lwandile and
she types her number in and calls it so she also has it
She opens the door and introduces everyone. Lwandile is her
highschool friend
"Lwandile can you see that we are the only single ones here?"
Bayanda says and we all laugh
"If it's meant to be,it will be" Lwandile says. I've seen this
woman before but I don't recall where.
"I'll call you or text you,I've got to go now. Dad is impatient"
Lwandile says and they hug one last time. "Bye guys" she says
and walks away.
"Yhoo Siyamu you have friends like these and you don't tell me"
Bayanda says and we laugh
"It's been a long time since I've seen her" she replies and smiles
at the thought. After 3 hours we're almost there. Siyamu gets a
call and she answers
"Buhlebendalo" Siyamu says
"Hey love" Buhle says while sniffing "did you manage to buy
that pregnancy test?" And I stop the car on the side of the road.
"You're pregnant and you don't tell me?" I ask confused. She
disconnects the phone and goes outside. She talks for about 5
minutes and comes back. She sits down and I look at her in the
eyes
"Thandolwethu you don't just interfere in my phone calls. I put
the phone on speaker because I trust you but you just can't shut
up. Can't you?" She says very calmly but she looks mad
"But you're pregnant and you tell your friends first,did your
friends impregnant you?"
"This is just pure disrespect. I don't know who told you I'm the
one pregnant" she says annoyed and it clicks. Shit,she's been
telling me that Buhle has signs of a pregnant woman
"Baby I'm sorry" I say feeling like a piece of shit. She ignores me
and pumps the music again. We get to my parents house and I
park the car outside. Everybody else takes their suitcases inside
but Siyamu is just sitting there busy with her phone.
"We can sleep at a BnB if you want" I say. She looks at me
"Let's go then" she says and that's so unlike her. Why would she
not want to sleep here?
"Ntokozo" I call out for him and he hurries to me "Dude please
tell the rents that I'll see them tomorrow. We still have some
things to sort out so we going to sleep at a BnB"
"Okay dawg. Nibe right bafethu(you guys be alright)" he says
and walks away. I book at a nearby place called El DeVino. I
drive there and we take our suitcases and check in. We get to
the room and we shower. No one has said a word to the other.
It's 6pm now and she finally speaks up
"I don't like how you talk to me" what is she saying?how do I
talk to her? "Don't give me that look. Even infront of your
brother's today,you did the same thing. Talking to me like I'm
your servant. Thandolwethu if we're going to be in a
relationship together,we have to respect each other. Please
respect me as much as I respect you. Another thing is that we
can't keep talking about everything infront of other
people,some things are meant to be between the two of us. " I
never noticed this,I hope I'm not pushing her away
"Siyamthanda I'm scared okay. I'm always living with the fear
that you'll leave me and Snothando loves you so much,I can't
imagine how she'll feel. Baby trust me when I say I love you and
you are my happiness but I'm scared that I'll fall deeply for you
and you'll break my heart" I rub my face with my hands roughly
and she takes her soft hands and puts them on mine. She takes
them off my face lightly and sits on my lap facing me. She wipes
my tears that I didn't notice have started falling. Does it hurt
that much?just the thought of losing her?imagine how it would
be losing her then
" Baby don't cry. I'm not going anywhere. Shh my love" she says
and hugs me while rubbing my back. After a few minutes I stop
crying. I can't believe she actually has the power to make me
upset and the power to heal me. But that's not really the
reason I'm crying. I could lose her because of something more
than just my insecurities "Baby I think you should see a
shrink,you aren't over your past. I'm not saying you aren't over
Londi but you aren't over what she did to you. Please,do it for
me. We can't be in a relationship where the one doesn't trust
the other" she says while still hugging me.
"Okay baby I'll do it for you,us and our future. I love you
S'bongokuhle"
"I love you too Thandolwami" we share a little laugh. She likes
saying Thandolwami because she doesn't like sharing me.
Thandolwethu means,our love. Thandolwami means,my love.
Get it?yeah. After a few minutes I feel my t-shirt getting wet
"Siyamu" I say shaking her lightly. She lifts her head and her
eyes are full of tears. "Hey baby,talk to me. What's wrong?"shes
making me worried now
"I know why you were doing what you were doing but you
always make me feel as if you're forced to be with me" she says
in a breaking voice. No,no this is what I don't want. Her to feel
like I'm pushing her away.
"Baby look at me" she looks at me "you're the only one for me.
Through thick and thin,cold and hot. I love you with my whole
being. I know I don't show it all the time but please give me
time to fix myself. Please just give me one more chance baby"
she nods and I sigh. After 5 minutes she stops crying and we
order dinner.
19
Thandolwethu's pov:
After dinner we just lay in bed,she's on top of my chest drawing
circles on my arms.
"Baby,don't you think we're moving too fast" she says and
honestly I'm confused. Where is this coming from?
"Why do you say that?"
"I mean look at Ntokozo and Thuli, they've been together for a
year and they're sure of their relationship"
"Baby please don't compare us to Thuli and Ntokozo. They're
older than us and they're different. They'll do things their way
and we'll do things our way. I am sure of you and you are sure
of me,that's all that matters" she just nods in return. After that I
hear soft snoring. She's asleep. I don't know when I fell asleep
but I'm woken up by pain because my dick is hard. She's sucking
it like a lollipop,with both hands on and she's playing with my
balls. After I cum,she swallows it and gets on top of it amd rides
it like it's the last time I'm seeing her. When I get enough,I take
charge and now she's underneath me. We go for 3 rounds and
we head to the bathroom to shower. We get dressed in our
party clothes since it's already 11am and the party starts at
12pm. The theme is white. I get dressed in white Chino pants
and a white shirt buttoned halfway up with my sleeves rolled
up. She's wearing a long sleeve white under the knee dress.
We're both wearing our white Airforce 1's.
"You look handsome baby" she says while taking pictures of me
and I'm posing for her.
"You look beautiful too my love" and she really does. We take
mirror pictures and selfies. We take our suitcases and check
out.
"Babe we didn't even eat" she says sulking and I laugh
"Babe we're almost there" after I say that she goes quiet for a
long time. "don't worry baby,my family is going to love you and
if they don't I don't care. I'm not marrying them, I'm marrying
you" she smiles. Exactly what I wanted to see. I get to my
parents house and it's packed with cars since it's my whole
family and his colleagues and our friends. I kiss her cheek and
open her door for her. I take our suitcases inside the house. It's
11:45 am so dad is going to be back in about 20 minutes. We
enter the house and all heads turn to us,I drag our suitcases to
my room. We place them there and we go out. On the way
we're greeting my aunts. Some of them give my girl the ugly
look but we don't mind them. I see my uncles and we go to
them. They all smile as they see us coming. We're even holding
hands. When we reach them they all get up to shake my hand
and Siyamu's hand too
"Bo malume nangu makoti wami(uncles here is my wife)" I say
smiling,holding the small of her back
"Ahy she's so beautiful,she looks like an angel" malume Sbo
says smiling
"Ngyabonga malume(thank you uncle)" Siyamu says blushing.
Are my uncles making her shy?I chuckle
"Where is mom?" I ask my question directed to my uncles
"She's in the kitchen" malume Dana says
"Dankie uncle(thank you)" I say and we head to the kitchen still
hand in hand. We get in the kitchen and the catering did a good
job. My mom is there with Thuli,where the hell is Ntokozo and
Bayanda?
"Hey mom,hi Thuli "I say giving them both side hugs
"Hey baby" mom says hugging Siyamu. I laugh
"And me?" I say sulking
"This isn't my girlfriend mom" I say playing with her
"So where is your girlfriend?" She asks looking confused
"Right next to me" I say and we all laugh
"I'm not old wena Thando" mom says and Ntokozo and Bayanda
get in. They greet and hug Siyamu.
"Okay guys we all need to go to the lounge. Dad and uncle
Sphiwe will be here in 5 minutes" Bayanda says. We all go to the
lounge and everyone is quiet. We hear a car pulling up on the
driveway. Also all the cars were parked in the neighbours
houses because we didn't want him suspecting. The door opens
and he gets in laughing wearing his golfing gear
"Surprise! Happy 52nd birthday Menzi!" we all say and he
laughs while tears come out of his eyelids. Mom and his sisters
hug him and he greets everyone. He comes up to where me and
Siyamu are seated. Siyamu and I stand up
"Sawbona Baba" she says with a smile. He hugs her,did he do
that with Thuli?
"Remember just yesterday we were strangers and now you're
going to be my son's wife" they laugh
"Miracles happen" she says and smiles. My mother and
brothers and Thuli come our way
"How do you guys know each other?" I ask confused
"Back when we were struggling and Thando had just gotten
Snothando,I was at a store shopping for her milk and when I
opened my wallet it was R200 short. Siyamthanda paid for the
milk and she left what she had bought so she could pay for the
milk I needed " dad said and I never knew that. Probably
because dad made this story up just now and Siyamu believes it
"I was 15 at the time and mom had told me to get a few
groceries and I went home and told my mom that I lost the
money but I don't regret what I did" she says. She hugs me and
everyone else joins in. That time the camera man is taking
pictures. Dad pulls out
"Boys I'll be waiting for you in my study" dad says and walks I
guess he's going to his study. I kiss Siyamu's cheek and my
brothers and I head to dad's study. We get in and sit down
"Ntokozo and Thando I just want to say that I'm proud of the
type of brides you guys brought home. Bayanda I hope you
won't go a different route. But Bayanda thank you that even
though you're a playboy you still focus on school and making
your life better" dad says and we all laugh "now let the race
begin,let's see who will get married first" we laugh once again.
We rejoin the ladies and the conversation is flowing
"When are the twins coming?" I ask because they were
supposed to be here a long time ago
"I really don't know what's wrong with those kids" mom says
and suddenly the door opens.
20
Siyamu's pov:
Everybody is now looking at the girls at the door. One looks like
she's 4 or 5 months pregnant and the other is just thick. Are
those Ndo's twin sisters?didn't they know she's pregnant?oh
shit it's about to go down. They pass all the aunts and uncles
and make their way to us. Everyone is now staring in shock.
Thandolwethu's dad just walks away. His mom follows.
"Bhuti I'm sorry" one of the twins says
"Lihle I trusted you" Ndo says to the twin who I guess is Lihle.
Ndo and his brothers make their way through the hallway
leaving me and Thuli with the twins. The twins follow the route
Ndo took,and Lihle is crying. I go after them. I knock on the
door I assumed is theirs and I hear a soft
"Come in" from who I guess is Sne since she doesn't sound like
she's been crying. I open the door slowly. They're sitting on the
bed and Lihle is crying painfully. I sit on the other side of
Lihle,rubbing her back slowly.
"I'm sorry if you guys think I'm nosy but I just can't bare to see
you like this while you're pregnant. It may affect the baby.
Please take deep breaths" she nods and does as I say
"I'm Sne and this is Lihle" Sne says smiling. I smile back.
"I'm Siyamu,your brother's girlfriend" she smiles. I kneel down
to her visible belly and I kiss it. "Listen,I have never been in your
shoes but what I can tell you is that from here on it's not going
to be easy but please make this child your pride and joy. Your
family may not be happy right now but sooner or later they
must accept because this baby is not going anywhere. You're
already 4 or 5 months right?"
"I'm 4 months" she says in a breaking voice
"Give your family time and they will accept this child because it
is one of them. It's their blood" I say and kneel again,kissing her
stomach and playing with it
"But my baby daddy doesn't want to own up to it" Lihle says
"Then I'll be your baby daddy" they laugh and I laugh
too,realizing how crazy what I said is "hello daddy's child. It's
me your dad, Siyamu. I love you so very much and I'd do
anything for your mom and her twin. Are you a boy or a
girl?mmh I feel like you're a girl. You're going to be a Queen one
day" and then the baby starts kicking. I smile and Lihle laughs
with tears coming out of her eyes.
"It's the first time he or she is kicking" she says laughing "you're
really her daddy" we all laugh
"You see,if you're happy then your baby is happy. I don't want
you to remember your first pregnancy as sad,make the most of
it. Don't worry what people say,people will always have
something to say" I hold her stomach and the baby kicks again
"I feel like it's a boy,the baby is kicking so much" Sne says
"It can feel daddy's presence" I say and we all laugh then
someone clears their throat behind me. I look up and it's
Ndo,his brothers,mother and father standing there
"Oh uhm I'll give you guys some space" I say in attempt to leave
"No ntombi,don't leave" his dad says
"Lihle I'm not mad that you're pregnant. I'm not even mad at
you. I'm mad that I was such a bad example to you guys. To the
point that now that you're pregnant, I feel like you saw me
having a child at 18 and felt it was okay. You reminded me the
sleepless nights because we were hungry and Snothando was
crying all night long. You reminded me of how tough I had it
when I had my first child. You make me feel like a failure of a
brother m I should've been a better example" Ndo says and
hugs me while crying. I just rub circles on his back. Sne comes
back with water for him, he drinks and looks down the whole
time
"Bhuti it's not your fault. I made a mistake and no I didn't plan
on getting pregnant that's why Sne and I never came home for
holidays,I was scared mom would see the symptoms. I didn't
choose being pregnant but it's here so we all have to accept it"
Lihle says and I'm just rubbing circles on Ndo's back.
"Siyamthanda thank you for motivating Lihle with this
pregnancy. I feel it is something I should have done as a mother
instead of walking away. It wasn't the best option. Lihle I'm
sorry my baby,we weren't there for you and I'm sorry that I
failed you my child" mom says
"Family please understand that this is not any of your faults. I
did this myself so we just all have to accept that I'm pregnant
and move on" Lihle says and Princess walks in with 2 other kids
that look like Ntokozo a lot. Maybe it's his children.
"Aunty Siyamu" she shouts
"Hey baby" I say picking her up. "Whuu you're heavy, what is
your grandma feeding you?"
"She makes me food whenever I'm hungry" she says and I laugh
"Daddy can I ask you something?" She says in a cute voice
"Yes Princess" he says in a husky voice because he has been
crying
"Is Aunty Siyamu your girlfriend?" She asks and then the room
goes quiet. You could hear a needle drop
"Uhm...yes"
"So she's my new mommy?" She asks excitedly
"Yes Princess she's your new mommy" he says and sighs.
Princess screams and kisses my cheek. "Why is daddy sad?" She
asks and then Ndo walks out. I put Snothando down and kneel
infront of her
"Daddy is sad because he has a stomach bug and now he's
running to the toilet. I'll call you when he's done and then you
can say sorry. Okay?" I say lying to the kid
"Okay my beautiful mommy" she says and runs out
"She didn't notice us" Bayanda says and we all laugh "ouch"
"Once again Siyamthanda,thank you. I've never seen her so
happy" mom says
"I'd do it any day. I'm going to rush after Ndo so I can talk to
him. We'll be back" I say and rush after him. I find him in the
garden,it's so quiet. I sit next to him on the bench.
21
Siyamu's pov:
I rub my hands up and down slowly on his thighs. "Babe stop
you're making me horny" he says and I laugh
"Baby it's not your fault. Stop beating yourself up about it
please" I say and I see Princess coming at the corner of my eye
"hold your stomach as if you're in pain" he looks at me
confused. "Hurry up" and he does as I say
"Daddy,mom told me you are sad because you have a stomach
bug. Sorry daddy,you will get better after seeing the doctor"
Princess says and Ndo looks at me
"Thank you baby" he says and Princess runs off again. The first
time she called me mom,my heart is melting.
"Babe she called me mom" I say smiling
"You are more of a mother to her than Londi could ever be" he
says,the words sounded bitter but I let him be. We share a hug
for a few seconds before we head back inside. It's 7pm and
some of the family members start leaving. By 10pm a few of the
family is left.
"Let's go guys, we're young and we gotta have fun" Ntokozo
says and we laugh but I agree with him
"You wanna go baby?" Ndo whispers in my ear and I nod
"We're taking all the cars then since there's a lot of us" Ndo says
to everyone
"I'm going to stay with Lihle then" Sne says and the brothers
nod. It's me,Thuli,Ndo,
Ntokozo,Bayanda,Kuhle,Zanele,Lunga,Zakhe,Thapelo and Khosi.
We get in the cars, there's about 5 of them. We get to a club
called Bora Bura in Glenwood, Johannesburg. It's packed since
it's Saturday and it's 10pm. We get into VIP through the back
door. We get a table and order drinks and a meat platter.
"Sanbonani" an almost deep male voice says
"Oh my gosh" Zanele says and I turn around. Oh no it can't be
him. The devil himself
"Snothando Gumede" I say smiling and I stand up to hug him.
The hug takes longer than I expected. It's Snothando Gumede
the soccer player,he used to play for Orlando Pirates but soccer
teams all around the world but him now. He's currently playing
for some Scottish team,I'm really not interested in soccer.
"Siyarh wami(my Siya; that's the nickname he gave me when we
were still dating)" he says and I laugh. I introduce him to
everyone and I introduce Thando last
"This is Thando, my boyfriend" Snothando smirks and they fist
bump
"I lost your digits but since you're here you can give them to
me" Snothando says and he gives me his phone
"I know it's either you lost your phone or decided that you
didn't want me in your life anymore" I say when I'm done. We
laugh
"I'll call you then,guys it was nice meeting you. I can't keep the
gents waiting there" he says and they say their goodbyes and he
leaves.
"How do you guys know each other?" Ndo asks and the table
goes quiet waiting for my response. Only the sound of music is
heard and people speaking throughout the club.
"He was my first love and my first serious boyfriend" I say and
take a huge sip of my drink after that.
"You have taste girl" Zanele says and Zakhe eyes her. I feel so
uncomfortable because of the way Thando is looking at me. I
ask to be excused. When I get to the passage leading to the
toilet, somebody grabs my waist and I panick. I turned around
and fist the guy in his face only to find out it's Snothando. I put
my hands over my mouth.
"Damn girl,you still got it" he says and I laugh
"Yho I'm so sorry,I didn't know it was you"
He finally stops rubbing his cheek and luckily there are no
visible marks. He looks at me straight in my eyes and smiles. I
smile too,what he made me feel was special. He pulls me closer
to him gently by my waist. I can now feel his hot breath on my
lips. This is so wrong.
"I missed you so so much"he says
"I missed you..." I didn't even finish my sentence because he
starts kissing me and I'm kissing him back. What's wrong with
me?I step away breathless
"Snothando no,stop it"
"But you're mine and that will never change,no matter who
we're both dating at the time"
"I won't let you manipulate me again,my life almost got ruined
because of you. I almost commited suicide multiple times
because of you" I say and I start crying because the memories
start flooding in. Oh for fucks sake!
"Baby I've changed, please give me a chance. Trust me that guy
doesn't deserve you" he then hugs me. Why isn't Thando
coming to look for me?is it really true that he doesn't deserve
me? He wipes my tears and kisses my cheeks. I take out my
phone and we take pictures and videos. It's become a habit.
"Send me all those videos and pictures we took" I do so and we
both post them on our Instagram stories. Thando is the first to
view mine. Shit has hit the fan.
"I was going to the toilet by the way"
"Let's go together" he says and leads the way. I fold my hands
standing where I am
"I mean I'll leave you at the door" he comes back and drags me
to the bathroom door. He comes closer and I just lean in for a
hug. The hug is long, warm and meaningful. I get in the toilet
and whilst I'm urinating,I'm thinking about what I just did. If the
wheels were turned and Thando did what I did. I'd be livid. I
don't know whether to tell him or not.
I head back to our table and there are two girls who look like
slay queens sitting on each side of Ndo,sandwhiching him. I just
sit next to Thuli and we all chat. It's been 20 minutes and these
3 look like they are having a very serious conversation then Ndo
stands up with them and goes outside,now this is just pure
disrespect.
22
Siyamu's pov:
I'm woken up by someone shaking me roughly. I rub my eyes
and open them, it's Ndo's aunt. The one that was giving me ugly
looks yesterday.
"Wake up,brides don't sleep till the sun comes out and pokes
their asses. I'm sure your vagina smells like crap now. Go wash
your face and come make breakfast" she says and leaves.That
was mean. I check the time and it's 6 in the morning. We came
back at 4am. Ndo and I weren't talking ever since those girls
spoke to him,the whole ride home was quiet. I wake up and
wear a gown,get in the bathroom and wash my face. I head to
the kitchen.
"Help me clean the house and after that make breakfast for
everyone" she says and sits down and watches TV. What the
hell?at that moment the house still had party decorations. I
start at the kitchen and clean the whole house except the
bedrooms because they were still sleeping. By 7am I start
making breakfast. I make soft porridge. After that I make
eggs,bacon, creamy mushrooms and I spread some butter on
the bread. It's 8am and I start washing the dishes I used. I hear
knocking on doors,I guess she's waking them up. Why wasn't
Thuli helping me?
"Morning Siyamu" Bayanda says and I greet everyone. Ndo
kisses my cheek but not like he does everyday. This kiss was
cold
"I see you've cleaned and cooked,I'm impressed" mom says
"You should've woke me up so I could help you" Thuli adds
"No it's fine" I say smiling
"She didn't do anything,I cleaned and cooked. She was busy on
her phone the whole time" Ndo's aunt says and dad laughs
"Your sister has started" he says after catching his breath.
Started with what?
"Tell me how you made creamy mushrooms aunt" Bayanda says
with a sly smug on his face and they all laugh except me. Thuli
sets up the table and Princess sits in-between me and Ndo. We
eat while making small talk but I'm just quiet. I feel like
something bad is going to happen. When I'm done,I ask to be
excused and I bath with Princess. We're taking her with since
it's holidays. When we're done,we get dressed in matching
black denims and black Polo necks since it's cold. We pair it with
white All-star sneakers. I comb her hair and tie it into 3
ponytails. I just tie my braids into a bun and we're ready to
leave. Ntokozo and Thuli will hire a rental car because they're
also coming with the kids. Bayanda will stay behind. Ndo comes
to fetch our clothes and put them in the car. We say our
goodbyes and by 11am we're off to Durban. I'm so tired. My
phone rings and it's my aunt from my mom's side. I answer
"Hello"
"Hey my baby,how are you?" She says and I know it's genuine
but she doesn't sound alright
"I'm good,how are you holding up?"
"I'm not good at all. Are you currently driving?" I know that bad
news are coming when she asks me if I'm driving so I'll just lie
"No I'm at home"
"Well ntombi I called to tell you that your grandmother died last
night and we'd please like you to come home this week to help
your mom with funeral arrangements" she says and sniffs
"Atleast she's resting now,I'll see when I'll come but no later
than Wednesday" we say our goodbyes and end the call. Ndo
looks at me suspiciously. He's been so cold towards me today.
He stops at a mall 20 minutes away from my apartment
"Babe can we please talk outside" he says. Princess is sleeping. I
step out of the car and he does the same. We stand just outside
the car and he's leaning on the bonnet. He holds my hands
"Babe Andiswa is pregnant" he says
"So?" I don't get why I should be concerned,unless...no it can't
be
"With my child" I was hoping he won't say that. So he cheated
on me? "No I didn't cheat on you,she's 7 months and she was
scared to tell me since you're in the picture. Those girls at the
club are her friends"
"I can't believe this" I say and sigh "so you really think it's your
child?" I ask screaming
"Don't you dare raise your voice at me,first of all you're
cheating on me with that arrogant asshole" he says also
shouting. I furrow my eyebrows,what is he talking about?
"Don't act confused,I saw you kissing him by the bathrooms and
boy you looked happy to see him"
"Who are you talking about?" Shit he knows
"Your first love" he says using air quotes and imitating my voice
"It was just a kiss"
"If it was just a kiss then you can't be angry at me for
impregnating Andiswa" he says and I huff while crossing my
arms. I'm livid.
"I think you need time to think about this and how I feel,you
think I'll just be happy that another woman is pregnant with
your child?why does this always fucken happen to me?"
"I think it's you who needs time to think about your whoring
ways,get some air" what the hell did he just say?
"That's what you've always wanted right?I won't give you space
because you know what?whatever me and you had is over,stop
calling me and texting me if you want to because if I tell you to
do so,you'll say I'm controlling" I say angry as hell and I hop
back in the car and Princess is awake. Ndo gets in the car
"Come Princess let's go get you some food" he says and
Princess hops out. She looks at me and I just nod. She was
making sure I'll be alright on my own. I'm honestly heartbroken.
I call Sandile
"Hey we need to talk when I get home and it's not something
we can talk about over the phone. Just please cancel all my gigs
for this week up until next week Tuesday because I have to go
home"
"Okay I'll do that but I hope you're okay"
"Don't worry" I tell him and we say our goodbyes. I then receive
a call from Kyle. This handsome coloured guy with curly hair. I
just love his vibe but not like my man or my ex perhaps.
"Hello" I say and sniff
"Hey what's wrong?" He asks sounding a bit worried
"We broke up Kyle but I love him so much but I can't keep
hurting this much"
"Where are you?I'm coming" he says and I don't want him to
come. A shoulder to cry on becomes a dick to ride on
"I'm heading over to Sandile's place because there's something
we need to talk about"
"Oh uhm okay I understand,take care of yourself and I love you"
I'm shocked to hear him say that
"Thank you,I'll call when I'm home" I say and end the call. This is
the weirdest phone call I've had with Kyle. What if he has
feelings for me?I just start crying when I start overthinking.
What if he never loved me?he was just trying to replace
Andiswa?I let out a painful scream,after a few minutes of crying
I see them approaching carrying a paper bag from McDonald's
,my favourite. I quickly wipe my tears and blow my nose. I check
how I look in the rear view mirror and unluckily you can see
that I've been crying. I haven't even been crying that long but
my eyes are already small,red and puffy. My temperature has
rised. They get in the car,Ndo looks at me for a long time but I'm
just staring outside so he doesn't see me.
"Mommy here's your burger and milkshake" Princess says and
I'm forced to look back at her and take my burger
"Thank you baby"I say to Princess faking the biggest smile. She
smiles back
"I'm sorry " he says and starts the car.
23
Siyamu's pov:
It's Friday and I've been in Newcastle since Tuesday. That's
where my maternal family home is. It's packed because my
grandmother was a people's person. The cow has been
slaughtered and now most of the family has arrived. My mom is
sitting on the mattress in the bedroom and I'm in the kitchen
cooking with my cousin's.
"So girl we see you're trending these days but what
happened?you removed all his photos on your Instagram page"
Olly asks curiously . I laugh,she's forward but she tell the truth
as it is. Some say she's got a mouth of thorns but the truth just
hurts.
"We're okay it's just work related stuff" I say. I really don't want
to talk about this. She eyes me
"Okay then" she says and we continue chatting about random
things. I post a picture of my grandmother on WhatsApp and on
my Instagram story and write 'RIP Gogo,you will always be loved
and remembered'. People are sending their condolences and
then Snothando Gumede calls. I answer then leave the kitchen
and go to a quiet bedroom. I close the door behind me
"Hey" I say in a low voice. I don't know why but I just want to be
vulnerable with someone. It hurts more because Ndo hasn't
tried to call or text me but he's been keeping up with what I
post.
"Siya why did you lie to me?" is the first thing he asks and I keep
quiet. I hear him sigh "I asked you if you're fine and you kept
saying you're okay but now I see your posts"
"But I really am fine,she died and she won't ever abuse me
again. I've accepted that" I say and I've really made peace with
it "I feel like going to the mortuary and stabbing her until she
dies again but she is still my grandmother and I loved her
dearly"
"That's good to hear then. I called to tell you I'm outside" he
says and laughs because he knows I'll flip. He knows where our
family home is because we're both from Newcastle and his
parents lives near there
"Mxm I'm coming" I say and we hang up. I walk back to the
kitchen and I can't help but smile. I really missed him but not in
a romantic way. I just missed his energy
"Guys I'm going to meet an old friend. I'll be back in 15 minutes,
please cover for me" I say pouting
"Just go " Kutlwano says and we all laugh. I go outside and it's
dark since it's 8pm. Only the garage light is on outside and I'm
scared. I've really been scared of the dark my whole life. I open
the gate slowly and luckily it doesn't make any noises and I walk
to a black Audi R8 that's 7 houses away. I get to it and knock on
the drivers window. A guy I don't know rolls down the window
and he bites his lips. Oh shit
"Hey baby girl. I've always seen your videos but I didn't know
you're this beautiful in real life. I'm waiting for my girlfriend but
you can help me wait. A quickie will do" he says and I'm
disgusted,just then Snothando appears wearing a black ripped
jean and a white Nike t-shirt with a big black North Face jacket
and Louis Vuitton boots.
"Dude leave my girlfriend alone" he says and the guy gets out of
the car. Snothando pulls me behind him. He's gotten buffer
since he gyms all the time. He's also tall like the tall,dark and
handsome type of tall. He brings his face closer to the guy
"Oh so you guys are still dating,so cute primary school lovers.
You knew that I've always wanted her Thando but you just had
to take her away from me" the guy says. Who is this?do I know
him?
"That was like 10 years ago Aphiwe" Sno says and it clicks.
Aphiwe was his friend from Primary and he wanted me but he
was the type to always chicken out that's why they called him
chicken. "Fucken get over it because she's mine and mine only"
he says and pulls me towards his red Ferrari and I'm stunned. I
start taking a video of him walking towards it and he unlocks it
and I stop. He was parked like 3 houses away but because my
house is at the corner there's like 4 other streets so I didn't
know. He opens the passenger door for me and I sit
comfortably. I start rubbing my fingers because it's cold and I
didn't put a jacket on. He gets seated and he can see I'm cold so
he takes off his jacket and gives it to me. After that he puts on
the air-conditioning system in the car. Now it's warm. I'm just
wearing a long black strapless dress with a headwrap around
my braids. He looks at me,he's still as handsome as ever.
"Let's go for a drive" he says and I nod. He plays my favourite
RnB songs. We drive around for about 15 minutes just singing
throughout and then we get to a park in town and he parks
there.
"I wonder why you didn't become a singer" he asks. He also has
a beautiful voice and I doubt myself around him
"But you always used to tell me I have an ugly voice" I state the
truth
"I only said that because I was jealous" we laugh at that
because he's always jealous. Out of the blue he asks...
"What's going on in your relationship?"
"We broke up because of you"
"What do you mean because of me?" I know he thinks it's
because I want him back
"He saw us kissing" I shout back but he's actually as calm as
ever. Has he really changed?
"I'm sorry,I could even apologize to him if that's what you want.
I just want you to be happy" he says. What? Did he just
sincerely apologize to me?and he's willing to apologize to
Thando?wow he has really changed. Where's the Snothando
that used to manipulate me into thinking I'm wrong when he
did something wrong?
He looks at me and I feel like I'm at the verge of tears. I miss
Thando. He lowers his seat backwards. He gestures over to me
and pulls me on top of him. I sit on top of him facing him while
his legs are in between my thighs. My dress goes up with every
move I make. I can feel his crotch on my nana through his jean. I
just keep quiet about it and lay my head on his chest. He hugs
me and I silently cry. He just keeps kissing my forehead and
whispering some I love you's. My phone rings on the cup holder
since I put it there. The screen is written 'Sangweni wami'. Why
is he calling me?I answer
"Baby,ahhh,Thando go harder baby, forget about that bitch,
we'll raise this baby together without her,ahh you're so good
baby" I hear her moans,I guess it's Andiswa. Ndo doesn't talk,I
just hear him groaning
"What the fuck?" I shout and drop the call. Snothando looks at
me. He heard everything. I just start crying hysterically. This
hurts,it hasn't even been a week and he's already fucking the
girl that caused a drift
24
Thandolwethu's pov:
2 months later and we're now in July. The coldest month of the
year. How did I get here? I'm even neglecting my daughter
now,I'm a piece of shit. If you want to know about Andiswa well
I was stupid, stupid,stupid to keep on fucking her because she
kept calling Siyamu while we were fucking and the last time I
called her that arrogant dude answered and told me to leave
Siyamu alone. So she moved on so fast?what the fuck dawg I'm
the one who messed up and she probably saw I moved on so
she did too. Andiswa moved out of her complex and moved in
with her mother in Tembisa,her reason was that she wanted to
have someone live with her during the pregnancy. Good enough
for me. She had lost weight when I first saw her again but now
she's back to her normal self or maybe it's the pregnancy. Right
now I'm in my parents house in Johannesburg and someone
shakes me out of my train of thoughts. It's Princess,she's crying
"Daddy" she says
"Princess what's wrong?" Now I'm worried
"I fell and Johnny saw my underwear and he was making fun of
it. He went around telling the other kids that I wear dinasour
underwears but he's lying daddy" she ends crying more. I gritt
my jaw harshly. I'm angry,they made my princess cry. I pull her
closer to me and hush her until she falls asleep. I kiss her cheek.
Schools have just opened and it's the end of July but I have to
go there. Which reminds me, Andiswa is due in a week. I put
her in bed and head back to the living room. My whole family is
here except Ntokozo because he's working. The twins and
Bayanda don't stay at res,they stay at home even though
Bayanda has a room inside and a backroom because he
demanded "privacy". They're watching TV and as soon as I sit
down my mom speaks.
"When are you going to get your life together?" she says. Ever
since I came home with pregnant Andiswa I haven't been
hearing the end of it.
"But mom..." I say before she cuts me off and starts speaking
again
"If you're breaking down like this,what example are you setting
for your child. If you're going to be depressed then go back to
Durban" she warns and then it hits me. I miss her laugh,her
beautiful face,the smell of her peach-apricot perfume. Her
caramel brown skin on mine listening to my heart beat with
every second. I love her,I love Siyamu. I start feeling tears roll
down my cheeks. It's one after the other. A man doesn't cry. I
face the floor with my hands on my face and mom comes over
to hug me
"It'll be okay my baby" she says and we stay like that for a few
seconds before my whole family joins in.
"Please may I be excused" I say and dad nods. I walk to my
room and lock the door,I start looking for the whiskey I always
drink when I'm stressed. Andiswa calls,I answer. As much as I'm
annoyed, she's still carrying my seed.
"Baby" she says breathing loudly. I start getting worried
"Andiswa is everything okay?" I ask and she just starts crying
"What's wrong?is there something wrong with the baby?"
"Thando you don't care about me,you just care about this
stupid thing in my womb" she spits. I knew it. I just end the call
and send her R5000 in her account. I find my bottle,yes a 1921
Michigan Whiskey bottle. I also find sleeping pills. I don't know
how many pills I take but i just keep drinking them with the
whiskey. I'm woken up by loud knocking on the door.
"Open the door man,it's 4pm and you've been in this room
since yesterday" Ntokozo shouts from the other side. He keeps
shouting for about a good 10 minutes until he gives up. I'm not
hungry,I'm not thirsty,I just want my baby to hold me and tell
me everything is going to be okay. I drink more whisky since
there was another bottle in my drawer.
3 days pass and it's a very cold Thursday and I'm still drunk and
drinking as many pills as I can. I get in my blanket and fold my
legs and shape myself as an egg. I feel warmth kicking in and I
feel dizzy but I really want to die now. I hope Princess forgives
me but I can't live with this pain. My eyes close and I hear a
loud banging noise but the noises and voices are getting distant
and even more distant. Finally, darkness takes over.
I open my eyes and I'm blinded by a bright light. Am I in
heaven?I close my eyes and open them again to try and adjust
to the light.
"Please wake up baby" I hear a woman's voice say and at first I
thought it was Siyamu but I realised that she's not mine
anymore and it's my fault. I feel my heart clinch shut and I feel
like I'm running out of air. The machines start beeping loudly
and nurses rush in with a doctor. Again,it's lights out. I hope this
time I'm going to heaven.
"Mom I hope you see how serious this is now,he is laying in a
hospital bed overdosed on pills" I hear a male voice I can't
figure out whispering seriously. I try to open my eyes and luckily
I only attempt twice and succeed.
"Wa...ter. water" I say getting the words out roughly because
my throat is dry. Ntokozo gives me water and I drink it slowly.
My mom hugs me tight and I start coughing
"I'm sorry boy boy but don't ever do that again!what were you
thinking?oh god can we please pray"she shouts and starts
praying. I just stare out of the window. After 10 minutes she
finishes off.
"We'll give you guys some time" dad says and nods. He walks
out with mom,I'm left with Bayanda and Ntokozo.
"Are you happy now?" Ntokozo says. I'm guessing he's mad as
hell
"What?" I say back
"Your child was crying claiming you don't love her anymore
that's why you locked yourself in your room all day. Is that the
type of father you want to be?" He says probably annoyed
"I just want to hear her voice man and see her beautiful face" I
end that crying already. I won't even lie,I'm broken. I don't
know if this is an addiction or I'm just madly in love with that
woman,it's crazy. I was going to give her my all. She already had
my heart. Ntokozo bro hugs me while Bayanda types something
on his phone. It starts ringing. The person on the other line
answers
"Hey you" and it's her. It's my baby. I look at Bayanda but he
doesn't look back
"Hey Nana,please do a favour for me"
"Straight to the point I see" she says and laughs but Bayanda's
laugh is the nervous type of laugh
"Eish...uhm" he stutters and starts rubbing the back of his neck.
He's on a video call but I can't quite see her because Bayanda is
tall and I'm sitting on the bed. "Thando is in hospital and he'd
like to speak to you" he says really fast. The line goes quiet for
some time before she says
"Give him the phone" and I can't explain the type of joy that
came over me. I'm finally going to talk to her.
25
Thandolwethu's pov:
I'm chasing her down the hallway and she's giggling like a girl in
high school but I can't reach her. I sit down,giving up. She comes
back and kneels infront of me. Our eyes lock,her beautiful eyes
sparkle. She hold both my cheeks with her warm hands and says
"Don't give up Thando, we'll find each other again. Just be
strong for Princess. Everything will be okay" and she runs off
again.
"Siyamu!Siyamthanda!" I start shouting. I can hear her giggle
but I can't see where she went. "Siyamu come back here!" And I
feel someone shaking me roughly. I open my eyes
"Siyamu,where is she?she was here just now" I say looking at
nurse Mboni and a concerned looking mom. I was discharged
yesterday because I refused to stay and they can't keep me
against their will. They assigned me a nurse to help me take my
medication properly. It's anti-depressants and anxiety disorder
pills. The doctor was being crazy for diagnosing me with
seasonal depression. She gaurds my diet and basically
everything I do. I'm not even depressed,these doctors are crazy
"Please go bath Thando,you have a meeting at Snothando's
school" the nurse says already pulling my covers. I roll my eyes
and get out of bed. I get into my shower and when I'm finished,I
lotion my body. When I get back into my room,she has already
made my bed and opened the curtains. 'motivation' they say it
is,to start off the day on the right foot. I wear my black jeans
and my black Nike long sleeve t-shirt with a black Nike jacket. I
pair it with white Jordan 1's and I spray my cologne all over me.
A man has got to smell good. I take my phone and check the
time. It's 10am and the meeting is at 1pm. I still got time for
work. Since I'm in Johannesburg,I work from the studio here. I
go down to the kitchen and make some cereal. I walk to the
living room and find my gran,mom, Andiswa and the nurse.
"Goodmorning everyone" I say in a cheerful tone. Mom smiles
warmly at me. They all greet back except Andiswa. I sit down
and eat my cereal.
"Thandolwethu" my gran says and I look at her. She's got news
for me or questions I'd rather say
"Yebo gogo(yes grandma)" I respond
"Why are you taking care of babies that aren't yours" she says
and I widen my eyes. Andiswa chokes on her spit.
"Mom what are you saying" my mom asks
"That the ancestors are angry at you for claiming babies that
aren't yours" I'm honestly amazed that for once my gran had
just told me what she's seeing but I'm more amazed that the
baby isn't mine. "And wena ntombazane, you'll get what's
coming for you" she warns Andiswa. Andiswa just starts crying
"Andiswa let's go" I'm more relieved than angry. She stands up
and walks behind me. We get into my car and I head to Tembisa
"Babe she's lying,she just doesn't like me" she says
"So you're saying my grandmother is a liar?you're the one who
was bitching"
I park inside her mom's yard. She gets out and ulililates while
jumping around. Apparently she thinks I'm her "son in law"
"Get out Andiswa" I say mad as hell now. Her mom looks
confused. She steps out
"Oh and from now on nothing and I mean nothing gives you a
reason to contact me. If this gets to the public, you're dead" I
say with a cold tone. The side Siyamu has never seen before.
I'm not ready for her to know who I really am. I drive off to
Sangweni productions in Sandton. I work until it's lunch for
others but for me it's my knock off time. It's 12:30 in the
afternoon. I drive off to Princess's school and I get there at
13:15. Shit I'm late.
I get in the hall and sit at the back since they've already started.
They talk about school fees,the school rules and their plans for
the school. Today is also reports day so I'll have to fetch my
baby's report from her class teacher and I'll have to listen to her
telling me how good of a kid she is. In about an hour the
meeting is over and now parents are headed off to their
children's classes. I first head to the toilet. I take about 10
minutes. Don't look at me like that,I was doing number 2. I
wash my hands and head back to her class,by the time I get
there there's only one parent left. She's talking with the teacher
and her skin looks gorgeous. Just like Siyamu's. Besides her
stands a gorgeous little yellow bone child that looks a little like
Siyam... No nevermind maybe I'm just imagining things
"Daddy" Princess screams running to me. I hug her and she
hugs me back "daddy this is my friend Zano" she says holding
the little girls hands. I kneel down because she's short
"Hello Zano,you are so pretty" I say and she smiles shyly
"Thank you" she says but not loud enough for everyone to hear.
"Zanokuhle asambe (let's go),you're very naughty and this thing
of yours of biting other kids must stop" the angelic voice says
and grabs her hand. I look up and our eyes lock. She looks so
beautiful,her skin is flawless. I stand up and hug her tightly. She
doesn't hug me back so I just stop. I smile and she smiles back
confused
"Mommy" Princess says screaming and hugging her. "Wait,
mommy is Zano your daughter?" She asks as confused as I am
"No Sno,this one is my aunty. She is my daddy's little sister"
Zano says,this little one is forward. I laugh
"Siyamu please wait for me to get Princess's report card,I really
want to talk to you" I say fidgeting with my hands
"Uhm... okay,sure" she says hesitantly. I sit down infront of
Princess's class teacher and she gives me her report card. She
tells me about how good of a kid she is. Told you. I also address
the incident that recently happened and I made sure it will
never happen again. This whole time Siyamu is listening to a
heated conversation the two little girls are having. I smile and
walk back to them.
"Thando let's go,we also have to fetch Ziyanda and she's the
most impatient child ever" she says and the part that made me
happy was the "we". We head to the grade 6 section and she
goes in and comes out with another yellow bone beautiful girl.
She looks so beautiful and looks nothing like Siyamu.
"Thando this is Ziyanda,my older sister's child and Zano is my
older brother's child. My siblings from my dad" Siyamu says and
Ziyanda smiles and reintroduces herself while turning around. I
laugh
"Nice to meet you Ziyanda,I've already met Zano" I say and I'm
honestly happy at this point
"Anyways we have to go,we have somewhere to be. Kids say
goodbye" she says and when I take a look,she hasn't been
smiling like her usual self. I forgot that there's tension
"Goodbye uncle Thando,bye Sno" the girls say at the same time
while waving. Princess waves back. I smile but I'm sad, really
"See you" she says and walks away. If it was any other day I'd be
watching her ass shake up and down but today I'm actually
watching her walk away. She left,with my heart.
"Daddy when is mommy going to visit us?" Princess asks
"Soon baby,soon" I respond,my heart still breaking into a
million pieces
26
Bayanda's pov:
Hey, I'm Bayanda Sangweni. I'm 22,soon to be 23. I'm the last
born son of Menzi and Portia Sangweni but I'm the 3rd born.
I'm studying mechanical engineering at Wits University.
Yes,people say that the school content there is hard and most
of the people who go there don't graduate but I will. I'm back
from school because I only had two classes today and it's about
3pm. Thando walks through the door with Princess and they're
conversing about something serious. Thando is holding a food
packet from Steers.
"Princess" I scream excited that atleast someone is back
"My handsome uncle" she responds and I laugh because I
reprimanded her and told her to call me her handsome uncle
"What are you teaching my kid Bayanda?" Thando says. He
seems extra happy today
"Give me some food and stop talking nonsense" I say
"You're crazy. This is for dinner,let's just go out" he says and I'm
so lazy but I just wear a powder blue jean and Adidas flip flops
with a plain white vest. Who do I want to impress? We take his
car and Princess stays behind with Ntokozo's kids and mom is
somewhere in the house. We arrive at Pizzarito, really? this
dude
"Pizza?" I say annoyed. He just gets out of the car chuckling. I
follow behind dragging my feet. When we get in,a lot of people
are giving us stares because maybe they're scared of asking
Thando for a picture. I laugh and we order chicken flavoured
pizza. As I look for a table,I spot my hairy dimpled yellow bone
queen sitting alone with a whole pizza infront of her. Why are
there two handbags on the table though?I go to her anyway
"And we meet again,I guess it is meant to be" I say confidently.
She looks up from her phone. Her big black eyes lock with mine
and for the first time in my life I'm speechless.
"Oh so there are times where you become speechless?that's
great because you talk too much" she says sarcastically and we
laugh. I sit down and stand up again. Fuck,I'm nervous. I run the
back of my neck,my palms are sweaty. What's happening to
me?this has never happened before
"You can sit" she says and laughs at me. I smile and sit down.
"You're so beautiful" I blurt out and she doesn't blush. She just
smiles
"I know" she responds and it's true,she's just different. A
normal girl would just blush and say thank you but this one.
"Please can I have your number" I say looking at her attentively
trying to read her facial expression. She just laughs and I laugh
too. "What?"
"I'll give you my number then because you asked politely and
you've waited so long"
"Hey,Lwandile right?" Thando says behind me. Fucken cock
block.
"Yeah,you're Siyamu's boyfriend right?" She says imitating
Thando's voice and we all laugh. Siyamu appears and slowly sits
down.
"Hey guys" she says but she's not as cheerful as she usually is
"Hey Nana" i say smiling and she smiles back. I give Lwandile my
phone and she types in her number. I call her and it rings. She
looks at me and I laugh "you never know"
"Bayanda let's go" Thando says and after that it's awkward
silence because I just stare at Siyamu and back at him
"Lwandile can you accompany me to go check our order" I say
and she gets the message
"Sure" she says and we walk towards the cashier that helped us
take our order.
Siyamu's pov:
"The baby isn't mine" is the first thing he says when Luuh And
Yanda leave
"Yay, I'm so happy for you" I say sarcastically while also clapping
my hands just loud enough to catch people's attention
"Siyamthanda I'm serious, I'm sorry"
"I'm not mad at you for Andiswa being pregnant. I'm mad that
you accuse me of cheating and you call me a whore"
"But you basically cheated" he says and yes I did
"Yes,I'm sorry it won't happen again but you still said I'm a
whore"
"I said your whoring ways"
"It's the same fucken thing" I half shout
"I also want more than an apology from you since I know you
won't forgive me easily "
"You should ask your therapist to teach you how to speak to
women properly. Especially your woman"
"I love you"
"Fuck off" I say annoyed and then a waiter approaches our table
"Sorry to disturb you but you're making other customers
uncomfortable with your shouting ma'am" she says
"You can tell them to fuck off, we're busy so get the fuck out of
my face" Thando says and honestly I'm amazed,what's wrong
with him?
"Thando why are you talking to this lady like this? Apologize
now" I shout at him. By now the manager is here to sort it out
but I have to handle this. He pops his eyes because he didn't
expect that
"Why should I?" He asks folding his arms. I get super angry. My
hand slips and oops I accidentally slap him hard across his cheek
"This lady did nothing to you so apologize now" I'm feeling a lot
more angry now
"I'm sorry ma'am,you didn't deserve that type of behaviour
from me. It will never happen again" he says and I walk towards
the parking lot. No I'm not walking,I'm stomping towards the
parking lot. I get to where Luuh parked her car and oh yeah,
great I don't have the keys.
"You disrespect me infront of people" he says behind me. I
don't look back
"That's all you care about?that waiter could've been your sister
but by the way that's someone's daughter,that's someone's
mother perhaps and you were mistreating her so I had to step
in" I finally look back and he keeps stepping closer
"I'm sorry for how I spoke to her" he says softly. What's
happening to him? "I'll never disrespect another woman again"
"And Thando I expected better from you. You were once in their
situation,doing your job not because you love it but because
you needed the money but now..." I pause a little "you're
blinded by all this money. Money doesn't mean a thing. You
could have a heart of gold but you choose not to. I'm really
disappointed in you"
"Siyamu I'm really sorry,I didn't mean to"
"No you're just like everyone else Thando. Who are you?
because you're not the Thando I fell in love with" and I don't say
this out of anger but he's really changed
"Thando I think we should go man" Bayanda says and I don't
know how long they've been standing there
"No man I love her and I want to be with her" he says and
honestly he's annoying the hell out of me now.
"Luuh can we please leave" i whisper and luckily she hears me.
She says her goodbyes and unlocks the car. I wave bye to
Bayanda and get in the car.
27
Buhle's pov:
Hey guys. I'm so excited I'll finally get to tell my story. I'm Buhle
Majozi, I'm 24 about to be 25 in like a week. Don't ask me how
I'm best friends with a girl like Siyamu. Lol. I'm an influencer and
a business woman,I worked hard to take over my father's
businesses after he died. There were greedy men who wanted
to take them from me. I am my parents only child. My mom is a
stay at home mom. I wake up and I browse through my
Instagram. I pass a photo with Siyamu slapping Thando written
"DJ Siyamu slaps her boyfriend for disrespecting waiter". This
girl is always in drama and she doesn't like it but she did good
by putting him in line. I browse more on that and I see the
video. She's making Thando apologise to the waiter and the
waiter and the manager seemed satisfied. Some people are
commenting saying Siyamu should never hit her man if she
doesn't want to be hit. Disgusting and it's men. Women are
saying men think they own the world and Siyamu did good by
putting him in line. I go to Siyamu's Instagram story and she's
written "Apologies to all my fans and I apologize to Thando for
showing acts of violence in public. I just cannot bare to see
another person being rude to people just because they're at a
lower standard in life. In no way was the argument about the
girl seducing him,that story is fake. We were causing a scene
and the girl was just telling us we're disturbing other customers.
Sincerely DJ Siyamu" she ends that with a heartbreak emoji. I
immediately call her
"You finally decide to call me back" is the first thing she says
"What do you mean ayibo?" I say and check my notifications
and oh snap she did try to call me. I just sleep so good these
days,I don't want anything disturbing me
"I told you you're pregnant" she says and laughs. I give out a
nervous laugh. "Best,are you okay?"
"Please go with me to the doctor today,I want to be sure that
I'm pregnant"
"Set an appointment then and I'm on my way back from
Johannesburg so I'll be there in like an hour or 2" she says and I
just keep quiet "Buhlebendalo I'm with you all the way. Don't
worry about it"
Her words seem to relax me a bit because my shoulders drop
and I sigh "thank you baby,I'll fetch you in 3 hours then" I say
and she just laughs. She knows 3 hours means 5 hours. We end
the call and I'm feeling a little better. I call my boyfriend,Thuso.
He answers on the 5th ring
"Baby" he answers breathing heavily
"Why are you breathing like that?" I ask and honestly I think
he's having sex with another female wherever he is. He lives in
Howick
"I'm coming back from jogging" he says and I check the time.
It's 9am,good enough
"Okay then. How are you doing?"
"I'm fine,you?" What's up with him?he has moods these days
and it's annoying the hell out of me
"I'm good" then there's silence for a while before I ask "how'd
you feel if I became pregnant?" and then again there's silence
"Are you pregnant?"
"No,maybe,I don't know" I say hesitating with every word
"I'd be happy baby" he says cheerfully and I'm so happy even
though I don't know yet "I gotta go get ready for work baby
okay,I love you "
"I love you too" I say and hang up. I get out of bed and shower
for about 30 minutes. I lotion and I wear a beige brown short
tight and an oversized beige brown tee. I pair it with some Nike
flip flops and I just put on a black bob weave on my braided
natural hair. Today I'm wearing no make up. The clothes I'm
wearing match well with my skin colour. Brown. I call Siyamu to
confirm if she's home yet and she's still bathing,what's up with
this girl and bathing all the time?I drive there anyway. By the
way it's Saturday. I only go to work Monday to Friday unless
there's an emergency on the weekend. I get there and her car
isn't there. I let myself in and I hear soft music coming from her
bedroom and I get in and see the funniest thing I've ever seen. I
start laughing so hard,like a belly laugh and even fart along the
laughs. Siyamu was trying on a red sexy lingerie,it looked good
on her but the funny part was that she was riding the big brown
teddy bear I got her with Thando's face stuck on it's face
"What?there are spider webs down there" she says pointing to
her nana and we laugh. This one is crazy. She takes off her
lingerie and wears the same outfit as me I mean everything,
except the shoes. She's just wearing Adidas flip flops. She even
wore the same wig as me. I laugh
"You're such a copycat"
"I was already thinking of this outfit,now we can be twins" she
says smiling and I know she's pleased with herself. We get in my
car and head to Doctor Franklin's office. He's our doctor,we
always go to him when we're sick and when we go check our
HIV/AIDS statuses. He's also gay and he's white. We get there
just in time for our appointment. Before we even sit,we get
called in. We get into his office and he wipes a stray tear that
has made it's way down his cheek. His eyes are puffy and his
nose is so reddish/pinkish. I just hug him and he cries more. He
tells his P.A to cancel all appointments after us and luckily there
were just two
"You know it's so hard being gay and being open about it.
People just don't take you seriously and they make you seem
like some kind of joke" he finally chokes some words out after
10 minutes of crying
"You know we're just the same. They call us weird or weirdos
and yes we're the black sheep of the family but not because
we're failures, it's because we're different. They're not used to
all this brightness around them, they're not used to someone
who doesn't care what everybody else thinks and they're just
not used to someone who doesn't care about societies
standards. That's why they keep judging you and making fun of
you but the actual joke is them. You're better than them and
you know it girl" Siyamu says and we all hug. She's the best at
giving advices
"Let me not keep you girls waiting,the status test right?" He
says standing up to give us small containers to urinate in
"Oh and a pregnancy test for me" I say shyly and his eyes pop
out. Siyamu laughs,these two are bitches
"And since when are you shy?" Siyamu asks
"Franklin please hurry up with this, I really want to know" I say
getting impatient because of fear. He takes about 15 minutes
and comes back holding papers
"You are both HIV and AIDS negative and STI negative" he says
and looks at me and smiles smugly
"Let's go do an ultrasound to see how far along you are" he says
and they both scream but I'm just shocked.
"Buhlebendalo,why are you crying?" Siyamu asks worried and I
also don't know
"I want my boyfriend" I randomly say
"Don't worry,it's pregnancy hormones that are making her cry"
Franklin says. Siyamu dials Thuso's number on my phone. He
answers on the first ring
"My flower" he says and I just blush
"Baby I miss you" I say and Siyamu looks at me. She wants to
burst out laughing
"I'm actually on my way baby"
"Oh baby that's so sweet. Please bring me some Oreos,Pringles
and ice-cream. Oh and don't forget the whipped cream and
strawberries"
"So much things baby, you'll have to write them down" he says
and we share a laugh
"Baby I'm pregnant" I say and Siyamu laughs so hard I want to
fucken cry now
"Buhlebendalo it was supposed to be a surprise" she says still
laughing
"Oh my gosh baby,you're carrying our beautiful child" he says
and I feel tears well in my eyes
"Yes my love"
"No more clubbing for you" he says and Siyamu and Franklin
just laugh at me
"Say hi to those two" he says and we say our goodbyes and end
the call. I'm at peace now,well not really with with the thought
of who's baby I'm carrying creeping up into my mind.
"You guys are going with me to my gig tonight but no drinking
for Buhle" Siyamu says and they celebrate while I'm still
thinking about the no drinking part.
"I'm going to be an aunt" Siyamu shouts and we laugh.
28
Thandolwethu's pov:
'Please can I take you out for coffee. I just want to talk to you
about something' sent at 10:47
'I'm busy,stop bothering me' received at 10:56
'I could make time for you after your gig' sent at 10:58
'you like acting like a jobless hobo Thando,when do you work?'
received at 11:10
'for you,I always have time. Please :( ' sent at 11:31
'fine but you have 5 minutes max. Meet me backstage at
Chompo park in Westville,I think I'll be done by 4pm' received at
11:34
'thank you' sent at 11:35. Seen at 11:56
After the full on conversation I had with her,I felt joy. I just want
to make things right. I'm currently at work in Cape Town. I was
here since a week ago just to check on things. Bayanda is having
a party at my house on Sunday. His birthday is on Friday and
Saturday he's hosting a family party because the elders are not
invited to the one on Sunday. It's still at my house. I have a few
hours to get back to Durban and get ready to see my queen. I
leave for the airport around 12pm and I board. Most of the ride
I was sleeping because I've been really working on my studios. I
got to get my YouTube channel back on track. I haven't
uploaded any videos or vlogs in like 6 weeks and that's bad.
With the influencing thing,it's going good. Nothing hard with
wearing brands and taking pictures and posting and tagging
brands. Answering peoples questions. I finally land after 3 long
hours. It's now 3pm. I head home and take a quick shower. I
wear black Nike track pant shorts since it's hot and a white
North Face tee. I also wear Gucci flip flops. These flip flops
remind me of Siyamu,she loves them so much. I also wear black
Gucci shades. I brush my brush cut and out I go. On the way I
buy some peanut flavoured chocolate and chocolate muffins
since she's not a flowers girl. I get there at 4:05pm. Because of
who I am,I'm able to get in the backstage. She comes down the
stage with Sandile and her bodyguards. Her bodyguards are so
serious you wouldn't say it's the same people. They all follow
Siyamu when she notices me and comes over. I greet everyone
and fist bump Sandile
"Guys I'll find you in the car,5 minutes" she says and Sandile
says his goodbyes and gives me the eye. The "don't fuck up"
eye.
"Hey" I say failing to take in her beauty. I even take off my
shades to see her properly.
"Hey,5 minutes remember?" She says getting impatient but I
know it's all just an act.
" I brought you some goodies" she takes them and smiles but it
doesn't reach her eyes. Her eyes still sparkle even in the
daylight. They're so gorgeous,even her skin is so flawless
"Thank you but you're staring" she says and I clear my throat
"I'm sorry for what had happened in Johannesburg. I'm sorry
for all the times I spoke to you harshly or made you feel
unloved. I love you a lot and I just keep messing up"
"You know what I think?" I just stare at her, her lips actually and
nod for her to continue "that we should just take a break from
each other and heal from what haunts us and when we're both
ready we can move on from everything. You've got to see a
therapist and I will too" she says
"I already have a therapist and I'm taking anti-depressant pills
for my depression but I think that is a good idea" and to say
she's shocked is an understatement
"I hope it isn't because of me" she says in a small voice. I hate
that I'm making her sad
"No it isn't"
"5 minutes is over now" she says putting on her protective
shield again,acting as if she doesn't care. "See you on the other
side" she says and looks at me like she's in so much thought.
"One last hug?" She asks hesitantly and I just engulf her into a
bone breaking hug. I missed her,she hugs me back and she's so
warm like she usually is. She has changed her perfume scent,I
think this one is strawberries
"Oh I missed you so much my love" I say almost in a moan and
her reply satisfies me
"I missed you too baby,so much" and she tickles me so I can let
her go. I laugh my ass off,she got me there. I walk her to their
car and there's something that's making these gents laugh their
asses off
"We'll see you man" Sandile says still laughing and honestly I
don't want to leave her but it's for the best,right? I turn and
head back to my car. The rest of the day I spent in my house,
cleaning. One of the thing Siyamu instilled in me. Now I also
can't stand being in a dirty place but I'm lazy at the same time.
Aus'lolo is on leave and she'll come back Monday. I slept and
woke up with my phone ringing nonstop,who calls on a
Saturday morning? yesterday was Bayanda's birthday and he
chose he'll board today morning with the parents and the
twins. I check the caller ID and I'm so shocked. It's not a
person,it's my fucken alarm telling me to start the day. I don't
know how but I wake up again and realise I've been pushing the
snooze button this whole time,it's now 8am and these people
will be here at 8:15am. I quickly take my car keys and rush to
the airport. Okay I'm halfway there when I notice I'm only in my
boxers. I go anyway,I get at the airport at 8:37am and they are
sitting on the benches outside. Ntokozo sees my car and runs
towards it. I walk out to my boot to get a t-shirt and I find a vest
and some shorts. It doesn't matter because it's appropriate
enough for my mother and father
"I told you he overslept" mom said
"Fine,here's your money" dad said giving her a R200 note. Did
they bet on me?I laugh "I thought you changed boy,what
happened?"
"I was cleaning yesterday so I was super tired" I say and they
both frown
"You?clean?" Mom asks in the most confused tone I've ever
heard
"Where's Aus'Lolo?" Dad asks
"Ahy he's lying " Lihle says and they all laugh
"I gave her a week off so she hasn't been at the house and
Siyamu just rubbed her cleaning habits off me. She's lazy but
she can't stand staying in a dirty place" I say and Bayanda gets
excited
"So you guys are back together?" he asks hopefully but I have to
burst his bubble
"No,let's get in the car and go home and prepare" I say avoiding
the situation at hand. They all get into the car and we go home
and prepare for the party. It has no specific theme. It's now
2pm and Bayanda is on a video call with someone and he's in
the backyard. I step closer hoping to interrupt his call
"Hey I'm your brother in law" I say jumping and they laugh. I
know that laugh too well,it even has snorts. This can only be
Siyamu.
"Hey brother in law" she says and I smile
"Sorry I was hoping to be a cockblock" I say honestly
"Trust me,I know. Bye guys and sorry I can't make it Yanda,I
have to chase the bag" she says and pouts. We say our
goodbyes and head back inside. Bayanda is now cutting the
cake for everyone. Jokes are being passed around,then the door
opens. A woman who looks like she's in her late 40's walks in
with a guy and girl who look like dad. What's going on? They get
closer and closer to us. Mom starts crying silently. The woman is
now standing infront of us and says
"I'm sorry Menzi,I can't hide our children anymore. It's been
over 20 years"
"Menzi,you lied to me each and everyday of our marriage. You
told me you ended things with your mistress but she's now here
with children that look exactly like you. I thought we didn't hide
anything from each other no matter how hard it is. You broke
that promise and it's been 20 something years that you've been
hiding your children from me? We've been through a lot and
survived it but I don't think we can survive this one" mom says
and proceeds to walk out of the room
29
"I'm so sorry bantwa bami(my children)" dad says
"But we looked up to you dad" Ntokozo says following mom
"How could you do this to mom?" Lihle asks starting to tear
up,well it's expected because she's heavily pregnant. She now
has one more month left to give birth
"No let's forget about mom,what about us?what about them?
you deprived us of knowing our siblings and you have not only
hidden them from mom but from our whole family" I say
"Actually my brothers knew because we had to have a
ceremony for them to be introduced to the kraal yakwa
Sangweni" dad says and I'm relieved that that part is over.
"I'll go check on your mother" he says and also goes leaving us
with these unknown people
"I guess we have to do the introductions ourselves then" I say
sarcastically and the woman smiles and the guy laughs,the girl
just stays quiet. Guessing she's still scared
"I'm Nomsa and this is my 22 year old son,Mandla and his
birthday is actually next week,he's turning 23. This is my
daughter Nelisiwe and she is 22. These are your siblings" Nomsa
says and to say I'm shocked is an understatement. These kids
are the same age as Bayanda
"It's nice to meet you guys" I say and they both smile. Mandla
seems genuine but as for Nelisiwe that smiles seems too big for
'her new profound siblings'
"So did you know about us?" Sne asks the question directed to
'our siblings'
"Yeah,i actually saw Thando and Ntokozo on Twitter last year
and I asked dad about them then he told us about you guys. He
even showed us pictures of you guys" Mandla says a little bit
off. I stand up and pull him into a bro hug
"Don't worry about the years we lost man,we still have a lot
more years together" I say and the twins join the hug, Nelisiwe
also joins. We part after a few more seconds and the parents
come back with Ntokozo
"Great to see you're getting on well" dad almost says happily
but mom is giving him a death stare. If stares could kill,he'd be 6
feet under "anyways now that everyone is here I wanted to say
that my kids and their mother will be living with us in Joburg
from today onwards" mom looks at him not believing what he is
saying I guess
"But Menzi-" mom tries to protest before being cut off strongly
by my dad
"I'm the man of my house and what I say goes. My decision is
the final decision" after that he sits down and gulps down his
whiskey in one go. I can see pain and anger in my mom's eyes
but she just keeps quiet. My aunts and uncles say that
we(me,my siblings and cousins) should go outside because they
have to talk about adult stuff. But they're in my house but
they're calling me a kid. We chill outside and play board games.
After like 2 hours it's 5pm and we've really lost track of time
because this is really fun. Mandla had loosened up but Nelisiwe
is just holding back or maybe she's just naturally quiet. My
phone rings and I answer without checking the caller ID
because I'm focused on the game we're playing
"Hello" I say
"Thando" she says and giggles. I totally freeze,why is she
calling?I thought we had an agreement
" Yeah" I don't know what else to say
"Where's Bayanda,I've been trying to call him but he's not
answering" she says and honestly that hurt. I thought she called
to just hear my voice. I give Bayanda the phone
"It's Siyamu,she says she's been trying to call you" I say and he
nods and starts laughing
"Siyamu why don't you just download the app?" Bayanda asks.
A bit of silence,well it's not completely silent because our
cousins are conversing in the background. Ntokozo has
loosened up to our new siblings,he's himself again and not the
gangster him "what do you want to eat then?" Silence again
"what the fuck?" Bayanda asks laughing so hard "okay you're
joking " a bit of a pause "okay then" long pause "oh yeah we'd
love too,you're making us too used to that now. We'll be there.
Okay bye" he finally says and I look at him for answers
"Finally we can carry on now" Nelisiwe says but I thought she
was quiet?mmh okay
"Uhm actually we have to close this game because we have to
go clubbing now" Bayanda says and everyone cheers. This can
only be Siyamu's doing "yeah Siyamu said she's performing in
like 2 hours so we got an hour and 30 minutes to get ready" see
I told you. Everyone proceeds to bathing,showering and
changing into new clothes. I shower and wear matching black
and white tracksuits from 'GANG' with white Nike socks and
black Gucci sneakers. I put my One Million men's cologne. It's
not actually one million rands,it's just the name of it. I'd be
crazy rich to buy a million rand cologne. I brush my waves and
step outside with my hands in my pockets and the others are all
waiting for me. I'm sure I'm looking hot as hell
"Oh I forgot we're going to see his woman so he had to shave
his legs" Ntokozo says sarcastically but honestly that phrase just
breaks me because she's not that anymore. I laugh it off and
we're on our way there. We get there and the line outside is
long,they even made a billboard of Siyamu. When she saw
this,she surely cried. It's a nice place called The Groovist's Area.
We get in because you know mos,money speaks levels. We go
to the VIP section and we get two big tables. Thuli arrives and
shortly after,Thapelo and Khosi arrive too. It's nice to have some
friends over,I introduce everyone. Then after like 40 minutes
everyone starts screaming
"Siyamu we wanna party,Siyamu we wanna party" the crowd
scream over and over again
"Everybody give it up for DJ Siyamu" the MC says and
everybody goes nuts because she doesn't usually do gigs in
Durban,my baby is going international now. As she enters,her
presence is felt. She's wearing white and black Cotton Fest
tracksuits with white Louis Vuitton boots,the ones that I bought
her. They look nice on her and it is chilly. She gets on stage and
does her thing and people dance and we take videos. I post
them on my story and tag the location and rate the service
because for the first time the waitresses are not flirting with
me. After 2 hours she gets off stage and DJ Sithelo gets on stage
and also does her thing. Few minutes later I see Sandile walking
towards us with her bodyguards. Where is she?
"Hey man" Sandile says and I introduce everyone since I know
Siyamu's bodyguards personally and after that they get another
table nearby. She appears from the general section cat walking
her way to us and those thighs are not doing me any justice.
That black and brown Bob weave suits her reall goodd. Fuck it
she's gorgeous. I stand up and meet her halfway
"In this agreement are we actually allowed to hug each other
because you smell so fucken good" she says and we laugh
"Yeah come here" I hug her tight and she does the same.
"Let's go to the others then" she says letting go and ruining our
precious moment. Why can't I hold her longer?
30
Siyamu's pov:
We walk over to the others and there's a guy and a girl who
look like Thando and his brothers but I don't know them. I greet
everyone
"Siyamu this is Nelisiwe and this is Mandla,they are my dad's
children" Ndo says. What the what now!? I quickly mask my
shocked expression with a smile
"Nice to meet you guys" I say and Mandla smiles and Nelisiwe is
just uhm,I can't really explain it. Too much makeup,skimpy skirt
but maybe thats just who she is "let's get the party started" I
shout and everyone cheers. I sit down between Sandile and
Thando
"No no getting the party started for you, you've still got work to
do" Sandile says
"But dad,just one shot" I say and everyone laughs
"You're only drinking 2 ciders and one shot,siyezwana?(am I
clear?)" He says again and I nod.
"Shots, shots, shots, shots!" we all shout and I'm liking this. The
waitress brings us shots first and we all gulp them down except
Thando,oh I forgot he's scared of Gin. I look at him and pout,I
take his shot glass and put it infront of his mouth
"Come on baby,here comes the airplane" I say in a funny tone
and open his mouth, luckily he complies and he drinks the shot
really quickly and everyone cheers him. We order real alcohol
now,I'll just have an energy drink because I know my body and
it'll get weak on stage
"Okay guys before you get drunk, please help me with
something" I say and they all turn to look at me "okay who's
going to help me prepare for Lihle's baby shower/gender
reveal"
"Oh me, me,me" almost all the girls say and I'm satisfied
"Angikuncengi phela" I say looking at Thando and everyone
laughs
"I was going to tell you the gender" I say pouting
"Okay,okay I'll help" he says quickly and I laugh,great.
"I guess I'm not going to help because I don't know anything
about Lihle" Neli says rather spitting venom
"You could help with the decorations" I say because she's being
dramatic "Sne please don't tell your sister anything,she knows
there's gonna be a baby shower but she doesn't know it's also a
gender reveal" Sne squeals and claps her hands happily
"Thank you baby daddy" she says and those who know what
happened that day are laughing
"What's up with her?is she always like this?" I whisper in
Thando's ear staring at Nelisiwe
"How am I supposed to know,I just met her today" he whispers
back and we laugh
"We're so stupid " I say still laughing. Thuli and Ntokozo stand
up to dance because a love song is playing now. All the couple's
here do the same. I take out my phone and do a video and
Ntokozo spins Thuli around and then kneels on one knee and
takes out a box from his pocket. He opens the box and I see a
beautiful shiny ring. I step closer to take the video and we
scream. Thuli starts crying
"Thuli baby,you've been the best thing that has ever happened
to me. You understand me and you love me and I have no doubt
you do everything wholeheartedly. You love my kids just as
much as I do and I want to do things the right way. I thought of
writing cue cards but I wanted to speak right from the heart and
I see right now that I have no words because to me all your
scars and your past doesn't matter because I love you for you.
Thulisile Mnqayi will you please make me the happiest man on
earth and marry me?ungenze indoda emadodeni sthandwa
sami(make me a man amongst men my love)" he said and the
DJ even dimmed the music
"Yes,yes baby" she said and Ntokozo slipped the ring on her
finger,stands up and spins her around kissing her. We all cheer,
literally everyone in this place cheers for them. Things die down
and we sit down
"That's why you've been quiet the whole night" I say and we
laugh at him
"Shut up" he says and we laugh once again
"So tomorrow Bayanda is having a party at my house and
grownups aren't allowed" Ndo whispers in my ear again
"But you're not a grown-up" I whispered back
"His words were 'you must respect Siyamu so you can't be
fucking varsity girls' "
"Doesn't he know we broke up?" I frown with that question
"He does but he just can't picture me with someone else"
"Okay then so where are you going to go?"
"I was thinking if it's fine with you,I can sleep over at your
place"
"Yeah sure I'm only working half-day tomorrow too so by 12pm
I'll be done"
"Thank you"he says and smiles. I smile back
"Okay is anyone else hungry or is it just me?" I ask feeling really
hungry. Everyone laughs at me,why are they laughing?
"You're always hungry" Ntokozo says and we laugh
"True" Mandla says and I'm glad he's enjoying himself
"That's why you're so fat" Nelisiwe says as a matter of fact and
I'm not offended,she just triggered childhood memories that
Thando doesn't know of. Being bullied,people body shaming
me,even my own family
"Neli stop it,everyone here has been nothing but nice to you
and you just had to show your true colours so soon" Mandla
says,ooh trouble in paradise.
"Listen here girly,you're not going to come out of whichever
hole you came from and insult my girl like that. I'll put a gun to
your head and bury you where nobody will ever find you. I
don't care if you're my sister,you better get that stinky attitude
of yours right before I make you" Thando says in the coldest
tone I've ever heard in real life. Who is he? But I like how he
stood up for me even though we're not together. I suddenly feel
like the little fat girl who couldn't defend herself back then
"Siyamu,are you okay?" Sandile asks worried and I just nod. Neli
stands up and goes to the general section,well I couldn't care
less
"Siyamu are you okay?" Ndo asks again and I just stand up
"Yeah,guys we have to go. I've got another gig in 30 minutes" I
say
"But we have like an hour left" Sandile says and I ignore him
"Siyamu" Mandla says before I go "I'm sorry about what she
said and how she treated you,you don't deserve this" and I
smile. I fold my hand into a fist so he can fist bump me and he
does "you're weird"
"I know" I say laughing "bye guys". I hear Sandile saying his
goodbyes and I walk over to the car
"Siyamu,Siyamu please stop" Ndo shouts literally running over
to me. I stop for him and he gives me a big hug also spinning me
around and I laugh because the air is hitting my face so nice
that there's no more tears anymore
"I'm sorry,I swear I'll put her in line after this" he says
"It's fine,she just reminded me of 13 year old Siyamu being
bullied because of her weight" I say
"Will this make you feel better?" He says his hand slowly
snaking it's way to my waist,he pulls me closer looking deep
into my eyes. His other hand holding my neck gently,he pulls my
face to his in a blink of an eye and our lips touch. His lips aligned
with mine,our tongues dancing to the rythm of our hearts
beating. The kiss is slow and passionate and it doesn't bring out
hunger in me,yes it really did make me feel better. Someone
clears his/her throat and I pull away,he quickly steals a baby kiss
before letting go of my waist. What is she doing here?
31
Thandolwethu's pov:
"Behave yourself Bayanda because I know you" mom says and
we laugh. I'm taking her,dad,the twins and Aus'Nomsa to the
airport. Mandla and Neli will be staying over and will head back
with Bayanda
"Don't worry I gave him a box of condoms,will a box even be
enough?" Dad says and we laugh our asses off. I'm glad mom
and dad talked about this but I can still sense a bit of tension
but okay
"Parents we're definitely not having this conversation now,bye"
He says and I start the car ready to leave. About yesterday,Neli
came back to apologize to Siyamu but it wasn't sincere even a
blind person could tell. We didn't tell the parents though. We
arrive at the airport and I wait for them to board. I then go
home after leaving the airport. I haven't bathed and it's 1pm
now. I get home and they're almost done setting up. I pack an
overnight bag with clothes for tomorrow and toiletries because
only boys sleep in pyjamas. I got to get my sexy torso out there
even though I'll probably be sleeping on the couch. I take a
long,cold shower before wearing Cotton Fest pink tracksuits
with white socks and Adidas flip flops. I also wear a black durag.
I spray my cologne extra today because I want her to feel my
presence. When I step out Bayanda starts coughing
"And then? who died and made you the brand ambassador of
colognes" he says and they laugh (Bayanda and Mandla). A call
comes through
"Ndoda emadodeni,what have you got for me?" is the first thing
I say after answering
"Well I don't have good news boss" he says and pauses. I keep
quiet which signals that he should continue "He's Dante's son
and a little birdie told me he's targeting Siyamu because he
thinks you guys are still together. Boss I think what's best is that
you tell Siyamu about this business before he does. Better safe
than sorry and he might even get her in trouble" he ends and I
realize that he's right. It's better she hears it from me.
"Okay man,thanks" I say and we end the call. That was my IT
specialist,Mark. I know he has a white name,it's because he's
white but he understands IsiZulu and speaks it fluently. I call
Ntokozo
"Man does Thuli know?" I say before he can even breath
"Right to the point,he doesn't even greet his elder brother"
"Sorry,hey"
"No she doesn't know"
"I'm telling Siyamu today man"
"Good luck with that" he says and now I'm nervous. We talk for
3 more minutes and then we end the call. People start arriving
and girls keep greeting me and flirting with me but my mind is
on what I'm about to do. People are crowded over where I have
Siyamu's portrait of her sleeping peacefully. They're taking
pictures with it and stuff,when it clears out a little I take it and
Princess's portrait and put them in my room. I take my
overnight bag and lock my room. On the way out I bump into
Bayanda
"Thank you for doing this big bro. You're the best" he says and I
take a fist bump. I get in my car and head out,it's only 4pm and
it's already full. I start at Checkers and get her some chocolate
cake,her favourite. Vanilla cupcakes with chocolate filling. I also
buy lots of icecream because she loves icecream. I buy chips
and crackers. Biscuits and marshmallows. I also buy wine just to
set the mood. I pay and the cashier is too friendly for my liking. I
head to her place. I sigh as I park next to her car. I take my
overnight bag and the plastic full of junk food.
I knock and she opens wearing oversized track pants and a crop
top with sleepers. She rubs her eyes just like how she always
does when she just woke up. She looks pale though and her
nose looks puffy. I open my arms for a hug and she hugs me
back like she needed the hug. We stay like that for a few
minutes before I say
"Can I come in now?" she giggles a little and man she makes me
go crazy. She lets me in and her place looks pretty clean. I give
her the plastic and she says
"Thank you but you're going to drink this wine alone,I'm not in
the mood" she chuckles lightly after saying that. She goes into
the kitchen and I make myself comfortable on the couch.
Something pops in my mind,shit. I call Bayanda and it rings
unanswered. I call Mandla and it also rings unanswered. I call
Neli and she picks up luckily,I can't even hear her. That place is
noisy
"Hey" she says when she's in a quiet place
"Hi please give Bayanda the phone"
"Oh I thought you were checking up on me"
"Neli I don't have time for this,give Bayanda the damn phone!" I
command and I hear shuffling in the background and the loud
music and then a quiet space again
"Sho mfethu" he says
"Dude run to the foyer and the basement and lock and make
sure you lock properly,we don't want anybody finding our stuff
and there could be cops there or enemies so be careful. Dante
is onto us too" I say
"Just imagine, I just nodded thinking you see me" he says and
laughs. This one is stupid
"Mxm do as I say and don't give anybody else the key, please" I
say and we hang up.
"What was that about?" She says taking some snacks to her
room. I instantly tense up
"Nothing" I shout back
"Okay come let's watch a movie" she also shouts because she's
obviously in her room. I go there and she already has the movie
on her TV. I take off my shoes and my t-shirt since it's getting s
bit hot,or is it me?we lay on the bed facing the TV. She's right
infront of me and her ass looks so yummy right now. I take a
video of her back being careful not to show her face and I post
it on my Instagram story and the caption is "I didn't know this
was how it felt. Can I stay here forever?" With that I switch off
my phone and we started watching 'Blended'.
Unknown pov:
"You told me that she's busy with work but she's with that son
of a bitch" he shouts furiously
"But dad that's what she told me" another voice says
"Didn't you tell me that they're not seeing each other
anymore?"
"I did, but..." He gets cut off strongly by his dad
"But you're useless,you're such a damn failure man. How can I
have a son like you?" He shouts again and the son looks down.
He's angry but not at what his dad said,he's angry at her "I am
Dante Gabriel but I will not have a son that is a failure,go get
him and bring him to me" he walks out thinking about what
he's going to do. On the way he calls her. Problem is,he had
fallen for her in the process of his father's orders. She's so
gorgeous and she's great
"Hello" she says
"Are you fucken cheating on me?" He shouts...
32
Siyamu's pov:
"What do you mean by that? we're not even together" I say and
there's silence "Kyle,Kyle" I check the phone and he's already
ended the call. Thando even paused the movie. I just put my
phone on silent and unpause the movie. Thando pauses it
again. I look at him,he looks at me.
"So you're seeing Kyle now?" He asks in a very calm voice. He's
scaring the shit out of me now
"No,you wouldn't be here if I was! How could you say or think
something like that" I slightly shout
"Why are you shouting?am I shouting at you?" He asks again
still calm
"So you still think I'm a whore" I really feel hurt by this. There's
a loud bang knock on the door. I stand up and wear my shoes
"Siyamu that's not what I meant" he tries to explain
"Save it" I say and walk away. I open the door and I'm met with
a slap then I'm on the floor about to get punched when in a
blink of an eye Thando reaches for Kyle by the hair and pulls
him away from me. He punches him multiple times while asking
him "have you fucken forgotten who I am?" He gets up and kick
him in the nuts. He takes out a gun from his jacket. No,what?
"Thando,no" I cry and he looks at me. Kyle is unrecognisable
and covered with blood. Thando lowers his gun and he looks
like he's in so much thought and everything happened so fast.
Kyle quickly takes the gun from Thando and says
"You're fucking my girl,she's supposed to be mine" and after
that he shoots Thando in the shoulder twice. I think the gun has
a silencer because it didn't make any noise. By this time I'm in
my room calling Ntokozo
"His queen" he answers
"Ntokozo help,Thando has just been shot at my place " I say
sniffing
"I'm on my way now,just put pressure on the wound so he
doesn't lose a lot of blood and don't take him to the hospital
and don't call anyone else" he says sternly
"Okay" I say and end the call because I'm just shocked. I don't
even ask why. I come out of the bedroom and rush to Thando
and he's still standing. I make him sit down and I see Kyle
pointing a gun at me.
"Please just let me do this before you kill me" I say and I tie
Thando's arm with a kitchen cloth to lessen the bleeding
"You know I loved you but you never showed interest in
me,why? because you love this idiot. Well well well,do you
know what he does?mmh I bet you didn't know. Should I tell
you?" Ugly Kyle says. He just got ugly because of what he's
doing. He is waiting for my answer but I'm looking at him with a
straight face
"Kyle you son of a bitch,don't think you'll get away with this. I
know your dad sent you here to get me so leave my woman out
of this and take me. I'm not scared of you,you're just a wanna
be in this business. Your father is the real one" Thando says and
rushes to grab the gun away from him but he gets shot in the
leg. What is this all about?Thando gets ahold of the gun and
shoots Kyle's ear and he shoots his penis. What the fuck am I
seeing?is Ndo a gangster?
Ntokozo gets in followed by guys wearing casual clothes and
one is carrying a doctor's brief case. I just run to my room and
lock the door. Who is he?what does he do? I shower with my
clothes on because I'm full of blood. I keep thinking about all
the blood that I saw and just cry. Wait,is my baby okay?but
what if Kyle's dead? My cheek is so swollen,Kyle hit me so hard
it still hurts. I wear my grey track pants with a black hoodie. It's
cold,I wear my sleepers again and head out of my room.
Mentally preparing for what I'm about to see. I step in and
there's no more blood, there's no sign of Kyle and my
apartment is like how it was before. The guys that walked in are
all sitting on the couch with Ntokozo and who I assume is the
doctor is busy sewing Thando up. Now that everything has
registered,these men are big and bold. Most have scars on their
faces and big biceps. They look like gangsters,woah?what the
fuck? Our eyes lock and he looks like he's hiding the pain he's
feeling
"Sanibonani" I say in a voice I also don't understand. I think I
was feeling scared
"Makoti" one of them says and there's not many of them. It's
just 4 men including the doctor. I smile a little because they
think me and Thando are together. Ntokozo stands up to hug
me and I hug him back
"That's too long man" Thando says and everyone laughs. It's
only been 3 seconds. I sit down and Thando looks at me
"somebody please get her some ice"
"I can do it myself" I say standing up
"No sit down" he commands and I just carry on walking to the
kitchen. I get to the kitchen and get an ice pack and wrap it with
a kitchen cloth and put it on my swollen cheek. Thando gets in
trying not to limp as hard. He tries to hug me but I just push him
away.
"After all that I've seen and you're acting like nothing ever
happened?you're so unbelievable" I say because I'm actually
traumatized
"I was going to tell you"
"Tell me what?"
"Baby I,I,uhm" he starts stuttering and he looks to the side and
keeps rubbing the back of his neck
"Thando talk,I don't have all day"
"I sell illegal guns and make sure they get in and out of the
country safely. I'm not a gangster though" he says as quickly as
he can and I pop my eyes out. "Don't worry about how safe
you've been,I always had someone looking over you even
before we dated. Ntokozo was on his way even before you
called him because Pete,you're bodyguard called him as soon as
Kyle parked his car outside. Kyle is Dante's son and Dante has
been trying to take over our business. He was going to use you
to get to me but I think Kyle failed because he somehow fell for
you in the process"
"Is he dead?" is the first thing I ask
"Yes,it was for the best" he says with a look that shows no
regret
"And you don't regret it?"
"What was I supposed to do?let you die ? because he was going
to kill you. Do you want to be the one dead instead of him?" He
looks really angry but I just can't help it. Somebody is dead
because of me. I start crying. I've always asked myself who this
man is and now I've got the answer,I can't deal with it anymore.
Why is he like this?is the question I ask myself now...
33
Siyamu's pov:
"I know you're disappointed but I had a kid on the way and a
passion to fulfill" he says softly. Take note that we're still in the
kitchen. Ntokozo appears from behind him
"Thando we'll leave you guys to rest and the pills you're
supposed to drink are on the table" he says to Thando. He turns
to me and says "nkosazana ngiyathemba sizobanana
maduze(princess I hope we'll see each other again soon)" and I
just nod,not even smiling. This is no time to be nice. The rest of
the big and bold men walk out saying their goodbyes. I make
my way to the lounge and sit down, absent minded. He follows
shortly after and sits down across me
"Siyamthanda look at me" he says and I know shit has hit the
fan when he calls me with my full name. I look at him,at the
verge of tears "I did it for my family but mostly for my child and
my baby mama. When Ntokozo introduced me to this Londi was
only 4 months pregnant and I had to make a plan. I never found
work,I imported guns for rich gangsters. Where do you think I
got the money to study music?money doesn't fall out of the sky
and it definitely doesn't grow on trees. Ever since I met you I've
been trying to get out of this business but it's not as easy. Even
if I leave the business,it doesn't mean we'll automatically be out
of danger. People know I have money and they want that
money. If I leave the business stays with Ntokozo and Bayanda. I
won't force you to be with me so I'd really like to know if you're
staying with me or you'd like to" he pauses and sighs "or you'd
like to stay away from me"
"I loved you,I loved you so so much and you've been making a
fool out of me all this time. Why didn't you tell me?why would
you wait for Kyle to show up and make me look like this" I say
pointing at my face "before you can tell me. Why did you wait
all this time? doesn't my say matter?am I not the one who's
being put in danger here?" I say and I don't know whether to
cry or be mad. I walk away to my room,not thinking straight. I
take my stick and look at it thoughtfully,to be precise I'm
holding my hockey stick. I walk out the room dragging it
towards where he is
"Thando!" I shout and I feel my anger brewing like traditional
beer "Thando where are you?"
"Siyamthanda put the hockey stick down" he says with his
hands infront of him to shield himself. "Please don't do this"
I swing it in the air and sway it across his face. He ducks and
gets ahold of the stick. Now we're fighting for it. He pulls it
harder and I fall on my buttocks. He looks angry but I just start
crying.
"Uyahlanya? are you fucken crazy?come here so I can teach you
a lesson you'll never forget" he says coming towards me and I
shield my face with my hands
"Please don't hit me" I say and my pleading seems to confuse
him
"Hey,come here,I wasn't going to hit you" he says trying to hold
me but I just full on hit him,I punch him and he stumbles back
since he was croaching infront of me.
"So it's okay for you to keep on hitting me and I can't hit you?"
He asks annoyed
"I'm sorry,I didn't mean it" I say crying my eyeballs out. What's
wrong with me?
"I'm leaving,tell me when you're done thinking about what I
said"he says and makes his way out
"Wait,Thando,wait" I scream hoping he'll turn back. Shit,I
messed up. I hear the door shut closed a few seconds later. I go
to the shower once again. I strip my clothes off,looking at my
body in the mirror. I'm about to do something I promised myself
I won't do again. I go to my wardrobe and look for it. Finally,I
find it and take it with me to the shower. I look at my wrists and
they've healed properly. I take my razor and draw a line across
my wrist,slowly,blood comes out. Yes,I love seeing my own
blood and now I'll be free and die.
"Siyamu,Siyamu are you okay?" Thando asks worried,taking me
out of my train of thoughts and we're still in the lounge after he
told me to choose between leaving him and staying. I'm so glad
all that was just my imagination but I really have to choose
myself,Ndo will only put my life in danger. I love him,what
should I do?I can't do this,he's not only putting my life in danger
but my unborn children will also be in danger. I laugh at the
thought of unborn children
"Is anything I said funny?" he asks looking confused and he
looks so cute with his bushy eyebrows.
"No sorry I was thinking about something stupid"
"Should I give you time to think about all of this? because I
surely don't want to leave you" he asks
"Yes I feel like I need time" I say honestly and he stands up
looking at me with a facial expression I can't explain,I can't
figure out if he's hurt or angry
"I understand,just know that I love you at all times" he says and
walks away. Somehow I want to say something but I can't,a few
seconds later I hear the door close. His words keep ringing in
my head. I wish he could've stayed. He left his overnight bag
that he came with. I pack his clothes neatly in my wardrobe and
stash the bag with my other bags. I lay on my bed while the
sheets still smell of his strong scent. I eat the junk he left here
but I feel like a part of me has been taken away.
34
Siyamu's pov:
4 months later:
I'm sitting on a very uncomfortable chair but it doesn't even
matter because it can't compare to the pain I'm feeling as I'm
watching her little lifeless body in that incubator. I named her
Sphiwokuhle meaning we have been gifted with good. Buhle
named her Siphosethu meaning our gift. She's as beautiful as
her mother. She's Siphosethu Sphiwokuhle Majozi. I'm her
Godmother of course. Let me give you guys a quick recap. Buhle
gave birth prematurely,she gave birth at 7 months,a week
ago,why? because her baby daddy was cheating and he gave
her a lot of stress because there were a lot of women and he
didn't even hide it anymore. She never told me this until she
called me crying telling me she's feeling a sharp pain on her
stomach. Back to today,Spho is so cute with her pink lips and
she's pouting. She's growing everyday. She will have to stay in
hospital for the next 2 months.
I stand up to go to Buhle's ward when a call comes through. I
check the caller ID and it's written "Sangweni wami". I quickly
answer while smiling.
"Ass cheeks" I say and he laughs
"You know I hate you saying that,you should be saying
sthandwa sami or something" he is still laughing as he says that
"Anyways I'm going to Pretoria tomorrow" I say sighing because
I feel sad that I have to leave Buhle and our baby behind
"Oh for that gig?" he asks
"Yeah"
"How are they?" well he cares about everyone I care about so
he's also worried about Buhle and Spho. He knows I've been
spending a lot of time at the hospital
"Spho is getting bigger everyday and I haven't seen Buhle yet
but I'm sure she's sleeping. She had just been focused on
getting better and being a great mom too"
"That's a great thing,tell her that I'm proud of her" he says and
we talk for a couple of minutes before hanging up. It's not what
you think,lol okay it is what you're thinking. We got back
together a month ago and everything has been great,we do
everything we never did before. We make time for each other
and go on dates for two, everything is just awesome. We also
decided we won't make our relationship public anymore, we'll
just post each other on WhatsApp where there's only family
and friends. I get in her ward and she's eating like her life
depends on it. I laugh as I step inside. She's in a private hospital
meaning she has her own room.
"What?I woke up hungry" she says trying to defend herself
"Well I knew you'd be hungry so I brought you food" I say
handing her the plastic from Woolworths with roasted chicken
and some garlic bread. Her favourite. She grins and pulls me in
for a hug
"Thank you bestie,you're really the best" she says leaving the
hospital food, opening her roasted chicken. Wow you'd swear
this girl is still pregnant. We engage in small conversations and
we're laughing a lot. I love this,I'm just glad she ain't depressed
because I was worried. Sandile gets in holding flowers and he
stops in his tracks when he sees me and their eyes both land on
me. Buhle seems to be in panick
"What's wrong with you guys now?" I say and laugh nervously
about what I'm about to find out
"It's nothing,I'm just shocked to see you" Sandile says but I
don't understand
"But you know that I spend most of my days here" I tell him
seeking answers
"Oh yeah that's what I meant" he says and rubs his bald head.
"And then wena why are you quiet all of a sudden?" I ask my
question directed to Buhle
"I'm sure she's tired that's all" Sandile says not even waiting for
Buhle's response
"No,you guys should tell me what's going on right now" I say
because I'm running out of patience. They look at each other to
then to the floor.
"Sandile I think we should tell her" Buhle finally speaks up. Tell
me what exactly?
"I'm not ready" he says back
"But she's our friend" -Buhle
"Siyamu" he calls
"Sandile" I respond
"Spho is...she is-" Sandile keeps stuttering until Buhle cuts her
off by saying something I never expected
"She's not Thuso's child, she's Sandile's" after she says that I
laugh a hard belly laugh
"I knew you guys were fucking but this?no I didn't expect it" I
say still laughing and they're not laughing with me "is there
more?"
"Siyamu I love her and she loves me,Thuso never cheated on
her, she just told him that the child is not his. They broke up
after that. I broke up with Nontokozo because I want to be with
Buhle, damnit I can even marry her now. I want our baby to be
raised with love and in a loving and warm home" Sandile says
and I'm speechless. No,I knew they were up to something.
These two,iheeh I wash my hands with salt water. There's
always been something about how they look at each other
"So when are you paying damages?" I ask as to seeing that they
are both serious
"Next week" he replies
"What?" I ask jumping out of my seat "when were you two
going to tell me" I ask feeling hurt
"We were going to tell you when the damages were paid for
already. We just couldn't come up with a way to tell you" Buhle
says while Sandile takes the flowers and puts them in the vase
filled with water. He takes off his shoes and scoops in next to
Buhle,they cuddle. Infront of me?ahy these adults man
"Ahy ahy guys this is weird" I say and they laugh at me. Why are
they my friends again? "Sandile and Buhle you guys are older
than me, y'all should be hiding these type of things from me.
Sies" after saying that,they laugh more at me. Haa hayike
soulmates are soulmates guys sizothini? I say my goodbyes
when they start kissing. Guys I won't be the third wheel
nginendoda mina. As soon as I get in my car I call him
"Baby are you still at the hospital?" is the first thing he says to
me
"Hayi hayi hayi,ngibingelele (greet me) otherwise you'll wake up
without a girlfriend"
"Hey baby,I missed you so much" he says faking Andile's
voice,my gay friend. I laugh my ass off. This one? he'll get me
arrested shame,both hands and feet
"Ayibo njalo,he doesn't talk like that" I try to defend him but I
just keep laughing
"Baby I've been waiting for you at our place" he says whining.
Crybaby this man of mine
"I'm on my way" I say and end the call. You're probably
wondering where our place is,well he's talking about his house.
He was drunk and he told me that that place is not his anymore,
it's ours because I'm going to be his wife and bear him a lot of
kids that will be running around the yard. He was saying things
like how we'll start over in a new place and I just laughed at him
thinking he's joking but the next morning he was telling me I
should give him a baby,this one is crazy. I won't stop my whole
life to bear him children. I get there and as I step into the house,
the lights are dimmed and there are strawberry scented candles
everywhere. There are white rose petals scattered on the clean
white tile floor.
"Honey I'm home" I shout laughing because he listened to me
when I told him how I prefer white roses over red ones. Yes,I
don't like flowers but I really prefer white roses. They're
beautiful. He appears infront of me in his silky black
gown,kisses my cheek which makes me blush and takes my
hand leading me to his room. I look around and there are red
rose petals shaped as a heart on the bed. This whole time I've
been taking a video
"Welcome home my chocolate cake" he says and I can't help
but laugh at the nick name he's given me. As soft music plays,I
tell him about everything that happened today. One thing about
me?I can't have a man I can't gossip with, lol. It feels good to be
home.
35
Thandolwethu's pov:
Well yesterday went greater than planned but what did I
expect?Siyamu makes everything better. I can't believe this is
me,yho this girl bajitha. I open my door and my daughter runs
up to me. I hug her so tight,I missed her. I'm in Joburg for the
weekend while Siyamu is in Pretoria. This sucks,just want to feel
her skin on mine.
"Daddy,I wrote a letter. Come see,come see!" she says pulling
my hand and we proceed to walk further in the house. I hear a
baby cry in the lounge and I rush over there
"Why are you making my baby cry wena mubiza" I say to Lihle
as she is breastfeeding Nhlamulo,her 3 month old baby boy. I
can't help but admire the sight infront of me thinking of how
cute Siyamu will look when she does this. That one doesn't
know what's coming her way,I have to make her pregnant this
year and if not I'm a failure of a man.
"Mxm you're the one that's ugly" she says laughing. Princess
pulls me to her,Ntokomalo and Ntobeko's room. They all share a
room because they're scared to sleep alone. She gives me a
letter. I open it and it's written "daddy when am I seeing
mommy?" With a drawn sad face. Ayibo this child
"Daddy I was about to go to the post office so they could send
this letter to you" she says and I just laugh
"Princess you'll see her soon,I'll tell her to come visit you" I say
knowing that may or may not happen. We're very busy. Come
to think of it,this kid seems to love Siyamu more than me now.
When I go back to the lounge Sne,Mandla,Bayanda and Neli are
back from wherever they went. I greet everyone and take
Nhlamulo from Lihle. I play with him and Lihle is taking pictures
and videos of us. Bayanda takes him away after a few minutes
"Dude you live with him,give him back" I say and everyone
laughs because we're always this childish. He gives him back
and something smells bad. "Ahy ahy Lihle stop farting"
"Ayibo it wasn't me,wait let me check" she says while sniffing
Nhlamulo's pants. She laughs "you have to change him"
"But you just changed him now"
"But he did some damage again,he's too lucky he has an uncle
that loves him so much" she says and pouts. She reminds me of
Siyamu, everytime she wants something she pouts. Ugh,you
see? I'm always thinking about her. I put Nhlamulo down on his
blanket,take off his tiny pants and untie his napkin. I make a
very funny face when the smell hits my nostrils. Princess laughs
at me. I take a baby wipe and wipe his little ass cheeks. He
makes a face due to the coldness of the wipe. I smile,I
remember the time I used to do this with Princess. When I'm
done wiping him,I apply some baby butt cream on his butt. I put
on the napkin again and fasten it being careful so it won't be
too tight. I put on his pants again and when I look up everyone
has their phones out taking a video. I chuckle,why is my family
so crazy?
We chill some more,Nhlamulo is now sleeping. Mom,dad and
grams step inside the house and I rush to hug my grandmother.
She chuckles and kisses my cheek. I greet mom and dad
"Neli please get me water" grams says as she sits down. Neli
does as told dragging her feet on the way. This one is
disrespectful shame, you'd swear she's a spoilt brat. Maybe she
is. She comes back and gives gogo the water. She drinks it and
as she's swallowing I feel my heart beat faster by the
second,what's going on. When she finishes I hear sniffing,I look
up and tears blind her eyes. She starts crying histerically. I hold
her hands
"Gogo what's going on?are you okay?" I ask panicking
"Go get the first aid kit Bayanda" mom says to Bayanda who is
already out of the room. Everybody is panicking,this has never
happened before
"Thandolwethu" my grandmother shouts
"Gogo I'm here" I say softly not knowing what to make out of
this
"Thandolwethu please save my grandchildren,please save
them" she keeps repeating and I'm lost at this point
"Which grandchildren gogo?" I ask panicking hoping for answers
"Save my grandchildren and if they die,don't blame yourself. It
won't be your fault my boy please accept it" she says but I'm
still lost "Thando save my grandchildren please"
My mom gives her some sleeping pills and dad takes her to her
room. I don't understand what she's talking about. The first
thing that comes to my mind is that Siyamu is pregnant with
twins and she's in danger. I call my IT guy to check where she is
and how safe she is. He tells me she's still in Pretoria and the
security is tight. I relax a bit but I still call her to check on her
and she's fine. I also told her to guard herself,I don't want to
loose her.
Siyamu's pov:
After that performance I can feel myself shame. I'm the boss
man,ahy I'm glad I chose what I chose because I'm good at this.
We're in our work car,it's Sandile,Max the driver,Phila and
Buhle(she was the MC) . The bodyguards are in the car behind
us. We had a great night. I start a live video telling my fans how
much I appreciate their love and dedication to me while some
are asking me questions. I keep quiet for a moment analysing
the comments
"Sandile let's go get drunk shame,I worked really hard for this
gig. Please" I say and we all laugh "why are you guys so
interested in knowing whether Thando and I are still dating or
not?" I say while laughing. I look out the window and see a nice
car "I wonder who's driving that car,iheeh they must just
become my blesser" I say and the comments are flooded. When
we stopped at the robot we were atleast car number 5 and now
we're crossing. I keep seeing lights coming our way. It's a truck
and it looks like it's on full speed. It's not stopping
"Sandile,Max the truck is not stopping!" I say and the next thing
I feel a sharp object going through my stomach. I have a
massive headache like someone just hit my head. Maybe I'm
having a bad dream,let me go back to sleep. I close my eyes and
darkness takes over.
36
Thandolwethu's pov:
I try to call her little sister but her phone goes to voicemail once
again. I called her brother first as she had put his number on my
speed dial incase something happens. He is on his way. I've
been here for 3 hours and there are no updates from the
doctors about Siyamthanda. Sandile made it out with a broken
leg, Buhle has a lot of scratches but all in all she's going to be
fine,Max the driver is in a coma and Phila has minor injuries on
the head but luckily nothing got affected.
A tall-short, a bit buff man comes up to me. He looks like
Siyamu and her dad so much,also her older sister. I guess this is
her older brother from her dad's side. He shakes my hand
looking as cold as ever,I know in the underworld he wouldn't be
intimidating but he's intimidating the shit out of me. This isn't
how we were supposed to meet. Buhle is still on a hospital
bed,she will be discharged when she gets better and the same
goes for Phila. If Sandile responds well to his medication,he can
go home tomorrow.
"What happened?" is the first thing he says but I can't look him
in the eye,as much as that's my future wife in there,that's his
little sister. I'm sure he feels he needed to protect her.
"Somebody messed with the truck drivers breaks and
unfortunately the truck collided with the car Siyamthanda was
in. It hit her side so the doctor said it's looking bad for her. I
haven't seen her yet and I'm still waiting to hear from the
doctor" I say looking down feeling like the world could swallow
me up. I'm sitting down with my arms on my thighs while he is
standing. Another woman appears infront of us and just breaks
down. I didn't quite see her face clearly because he
immediately hugs her.
"Is she okay?" she asks the question directed to me as she
wipes her tears. There's no need to ask who she is because I can
clearly see an older version of my girlfriend lapha.
"I really don't know, at this point I'm tired of waiting for
answers" I say
"I'll go get you some coffee" he says to his older sister "you
want anything idiot?" he asks the question directed to me. Okay
now I see that he knows I'm dating his sister.
"No ngigrand" after that he walks away. The sister comes and
sits on the chair next to mine
"My name is Nomfundo by the way,I'm Siyamthanda's older
sister and that is Sbusiso,her older brother. I'm guessing you're
the boyfriend she's always talking about" she says when she
gathers enough strength to talk but she gives a small chuckle at
the end
"Yes I guess I'm the boyfriend but please don't tell your brother,
he looks like he wants to kill me" I say honestly and she laughs
lightly
"He's always like this when there's a male involved with any of
his sister's. You'll get used to him but if you marry Siyamu that's
when he'll start to accept you because the same thing
happened to me " she says and I feel relieved that this won't go
on forever. Bayanda calls. I stand up and mouth a sorry while
answering
"Dude what's going on,people are assuming Siyamu got into an
accident because of how her live video ended. You're also not
answering your calls,I'm in the dark here" he says like he's
about to break down. If there's a family member that has got a
strong bond with my girlfriend,it's got to be Bayanda. These two
have the same personality and I think that's why they get along
so well because they can do crazy things together.
"She's in hospital but she's going to be alright"
"Have you heard anything?" He asks
"No, we're still waiting for the doctor. Man I got to go now" I say
because I see Ntokozo approaching. He greets and Sbu comes
back with coffee. I'm scared to look him in the eye,this man has
got the power to shatter my dreams of marrying Siyamu.
Another 2 hours passes by and we're now sitting with
Buhle,Sandile and Max and Phila's families. I see the doctor
come our way and I stand up. He looks down, everybody stands
up
"How is she doing?" Sbu asks looking like he has hope
"We have tried all we could but unfortunately,he didn't make it"
the doctor says and I feel my whole world crumbling. Wait,what
does he mean "he"?
"What do you mean he?" Nomfundo asks as if she is reading my
mind
"Max has died" the doctor says once again and Max's mom
starts crying. I'm so relieved and I feel so bad because I'm
relieved that it isn't Siyamu.
"Doctor what do you mean?who's going to provide for us
now?" she says while crying painfully. Who I assume is her
younger son holds her while she crys. Sandile goes over to her
and says
"Mama don't worry,while I'm still alive you're not going to
suffer. Max was like a brother to me so I know he wouldn't have
wanted you guys to suffer. I'll contact his lawyer and then you
guys can go over his will after the funeral,okay?" She nods "the
funeral costs are covered because he had a funeral policy so
you don't have to worry"
"Oh thank you my son,I'm so glad that my son worked for a man
like you. God will bless you abundantly" she says before walking
away. Phila's family goes to his ward to see him.
"Doctor how is Siyamthanda doing?" Sbusiso asks him
"Unfortunately the metal went too deep into her uterus and
she lost the babies" he says and Buhle starts crying. I'm
confused
"Wait,what do you mean babies?" I ask
"She was carrying twins and she miscarried. She was 4 weeks"
he responds and Sbu gives me some type of look but honestly
he looks defeated "she'll also need blood donation because she
lost a lot of blood so I'd like one of you to decide who it will be
so we can test who has the same blood type as her"
"I'll do it" her siblings say at the same time
"No you've done so much for her,let me do this just this once"
her sister says and Sbu looks hesitant but he agrees after some
time. She disappears in the corridors with the doctor
"You'll be okay man" Sandile says patting my back
"Yeah,it will all be fine" Buhle says as they proceed to go back to
their wards.
"This even hurt me bro"Ntokozo says and I just sigh. They died
even before I could get to meet them. I would've loved them
just as much as I love princess. She was pregnant this whole
time?I didn't even notice,I wonder if she noticed. I hope she's
okay. I'm worried about her so much. I pray God saves her for
me.
37
Siyamu's pov:
I've been in this place for 2 months now. Dad doesn't want to
tell me where it is but it feels like heaven. I give him one of the
twins as I take the other
"You do know you have to go back at some point" he says while
playing with the twin he's currently holding
"But dad I'm leaving you and my babies here if I go back,I don't
want that. My whole life I've lived without you and now I have
you and you want me to let go of you?" I say feeling my heart
break by the second. I don't want to leave dad
"Siyamthanda you promised me you'll look after your mom and
I don't think you'd want to break that promise" I think about
this. He's right,just as I'm in my thoughts I hear a distant voice.
It's Thando,over the past month he's coming to the hospital less
and lesser
"Siyamthanda sthandwa sami waking up every day knowing
your faith is in the hands of these machines drains the hell out
of me. The doctors want to switch off the machines but they
won't do that because they'd be damned. I'd sue them 4 billion
and bury you in Dubai. Please wake up,princess is devastated
without you. Plus ever since your accident things have been
going bad for me,I'm losing a lot of money and police are on my
tail. Are you the bad luck in my life?if it be you then I choose
myself,my child and my future or better yet just die like our
children and leave me in peace. I'm here waiting for you to
wake up and it's stressing the fuck out of me" he says the last
part sounding frustrated. His words were... I can't explain it,they
hurt. Something disturbs him because he says
"Don't worry,I'll be there in 30. Put on that black number for
me,it's the best. I can't wait to see you tonight"
"Siyamu I'll see you later,sexual frustration is killing me" and
then it's quiet again. So he's cheating on me while I'm on a
hospital bed? Only I can hear the voices that are here to visit
me. I sigh,I'm not leaving here. Dad looks at me smiling
"What me and your mother created is beautiful,just look at
yourself" he says and somehow that makes me smile. I've been
longing for this my whole life. There's another voice again,it's a
male voice and I can recognise it but I can't put my finger on
who it is.
"Mawande,I've always loved that name of yours. Out of all
three it's my favourite. I've been hesitating to come here for a
month now,don't ask me how I found out which hospital you're
in, I have my ways" he says and chuckles,after a while he carries
on "I remember the first day I saw you,I don't want to lie I
thought you were just another pretty girl. Back then I really
took you for granted,I played with you and your feelings. I made
a fool out of you,I remember people laughing at you calling you
stupid for loving me while everybody clapped their hands for
me because I got the girl nobody could get and still played her. I
loved you,I really did and I let being a playboy,my friends and
Joburg get in my head. I lost you in the process,for one I'm glad
I left you because I would've kept hurting you and you weren't
going to give up on me,that's a fact. There were times I thought
about you but not all the time. I didn't care at that time,I lost a
rare diamond looking at stones. You were the only different girl
in my life. I didn't know I still had that thing for you,until I saw
you at that club. I was angry,I was damn angry that you were
with that son of a bitch. Trust me,if he makes you happy then
I'm happy for you but if he hurts you,I'm hurting him. I love
you,your heart and soul. Please wake up,your skin is pale. I
can't see your beautiful angelic eyes shining in the dark. Your
hands are as cold as the winter night,so unusual as your hands
are always warm. Your cute,pink lips are dry and I know when
you wake up you'll be angry about that. I need to see you one
more time,hear your voice and your free laughter. Just this
once, please and I promise i won't leave your side ever again"
he ends off and I know who it is. I have to go,I have to go to
him. I walk over to dad and kiss him on the cheek while giving
him the twin I was carrying. He smiles
"This isn't goodbye, I'm always with you, forever" he says
"I love you dad"
"I love you more my baby and remember,when you wake up
you won't remember anything so engrave it in your heart that
your dad loves you so much. Also tell your siblings that I love
them too" he says and without noticing I'm walking away from
him,I can't control my legs. I don't even know where I'm going.
I'm walking towards a bright light though,i get there and look
back one more time. Dad is waving goodbye and I'm out.....
The sound of a loud beeping annoys the hell out of me as I try
to open my heavy eyes. Where am I?the smell of pills and
medicine catches my nose and I immediately know that it's the
place I hate the most. I can't open my eyes but I can feel a hand
entwined with mine,my throat is so dry. I try my best to give a
squeeze but I don't have enough energy to do so. I try again and
this time whoever it is shouts for the nurse which scares me,I'm
not scared by the shouting but because of who's voice it is
shouting. The machines beep loudly
"Come on Siyamu,hang on,don't do this to me" he says. It's
Snothando, what is he doing here and where is Thando? I try
breathing but my chest isn't cooperating.
"Sir you have to get out,now" who I assume is the nurse says. I
can't hold on anymore,air isn't going in or out. After seconds of
me feeling my soul leave my body, I feel a huge shock of
electricity going through my nervous system. Just like that, I'm
out again.
38
Siyamu's pov:
"Unfortunately you lost both your twins in the accident" is the
only thing I heard the doctor say. I understand that Max is no
more,I understand that we got into a car accident but I don't
understand this.
"I was pregnant?" I ask for the second time and I know I'm
probably annoying the poor doctor but he has to understand
I'm in shock
"Yes ma'am and if you need any counselling,we can provide a
psychologist if you may need one. I am really sorry for your loss
but you are one strong woman,you can do this" he says and
from his face,he probably thinks he motivated me. No he did
not! I didn't even know I was pregnant. I hope I don't slip into
depression again "oh I almost forgot,you have a visitor waiting
outside" he says and walks out. I look at the door waiting for
the person to come in. Thandolwethu walks in looking
horrible,was he that miserable without me?I try to fake a
smile,there's something different about him,his aura is dark and
heavy on me. He makes space for himself on the bed and sits
next to me without saying a word. He looks frustrated. He looks
at me
"Were you planning on leaving me?"he asks and I can't find the
amusement in his voice
"I missed you" I say softly looking at my hands because his stare
is intense
"I missed you more,do you know how much I suffered seeing
you on this bed everyday. Are you okay?" I just nod,I'm out of
words. "How are you feeling about everything?"
"You mean about the babies?" I ask acting unbothered. I don't
want to cry now
"Uhm" he clears his throat "yes,about the babies" I sigh
"I'm really hurt I never got to even acknowledge them when
they were still alive but I'll have to accept it as time goes by"
"And as soon as you get out of hospital,you'll have to get
cleansed" he says and I understand. It's only understandable
that I agree,I don't want this haunting me later in life. I'll have
to tell my mom then,soon. While in my thoughts,I'm disturbed
by intense silence. I look over at Thando and he's looking at
something on the other side of the room, furious as hell. I take
a glance and it's none other than Snothando. Why does this guy
have to show up at the worst time? He looks at me and comes
by my side, ignoring the death stare he's getting from Ndo.
"You scared me,I thought I was going to lose you" he says and I
try to say something back but I choke on my spit. I start
coughing,they both run over to the jug of water at the same
time,they stare at each other while Ndo has the jug in his hands
but Snothando has the glass. Oh no,this is not happening while
I'm at hospital. I finally stop coughing
"Water please" I say trying to ease the tension. They both walk
over to me. Ndo pours the water in the jug while Snothando is
carrying it. Snothando helps me drink the water and when I'm
done,Ndo says
"Ufunani lana mjitha?" (Why are you here dude?)
"Ngizele into oyizele nawe la!"(I came for what you're also here
for!) Snothando replies. One thing about these Zulu men?
English doesn't apply when they're fighting
"Intombi yami?" (My girlfriend?) Ndo asks
"Musa ukwenza ngathi uyamthanda (stop acting like you love
her)"-Snothando. I wonder what he means by that
"Ukhuluma ngani Snothando?"(what are you talking about
Snothando?) He looks at me,sort of like feeling sorry for me
"Lutho,wena woza la(nothing,you come here)" Ndo replies
pointing a finger at Snothando
"Angikusabi phela ndoda(I'm not scared of you man)"
Snothando says and a punch lands on Thando's face. When did
he get there?Snothando receives a punch on the stomach "you
really are gay,I can see from the way you hit"
"Nxx ugay unyoko!" Ndo says and that seems to anger
Snothando even more. Why?what happened to his mother?it's
only been 7 or 8 years since we've lost contact of each other.
Snothando is on top of Ndo punching him anywhere
visible,then Thando is on top of Snothando punching his face. A
security gets in and nurses are crowded at the door. The
security holds Thando off and both of their faces are swollen.
Thando is bleeding from the nose and and Snothando's lip is
busted. I cover my mouth in shock,part of me wants to laugh
though. I'm really stupid,it's just that I've never had males fight
over me?wow,this is a first.
"Don't touch me" Snothando says to the security as he dusts
himself off looking angry as fuck. I've never seen him like this.
Thando gets up
"So you're cheating on me with this fucker" Thando says and I
really cannot believe this
"Thandolwethu Sangweni. I have been on this hospital bed for a
whole two months unconscious. I woke up today and I'm told I
lost my babies and you have the audacity to come here telling
me I'm cheating on you?what the fuck are you thinking?that we
were fucking while I was in a coma?are you dumb?" I ask my
anger vivid in my voice
"You were pregnant?" Snothando asks in shock while rubbing
his head roughly
"I didn't know I was pregnant" I defend myself. I don't know
why I want him to believe me,I don't even know why I'm
explaining myself to him. He walks out really awkwardly
because of the tension in the room. The nurses have
disappeared off to somewhere,didn't even see them leave
"Baby I'm sorry,I love you,I'm so sorry" Thando says. I look at
him,he disgusts me
"Get the fuck out of this room otherwise I'll get off this bed and
take you out myself!" I say and he comes closer,still begging
"what are you waiting for,take him out" I say to the security and
he does exactly that but it's easy because Thando isn't fighting
him. I stare at the ceiling,what's going on with my life? How did
things get this intense in just a day? Snothando's presence
affects me so much,maybe it's because I loved him for a long
time and I had a lot of memories with him but that was 9 or 10
years ago. Could I have never gotten over him?
39
Thandolwethu's pov:
The smell of cow dung and shaved grass hits my nostrils as I
park my car in the yard. Home at last. We're in the rural areas
where my grandmother used to live before she moved in with
my parents,my aunts and uncles and their kids still live here
though. It's a big 8 room house with 4 backrooms in Ekuruleni.
This is where we do all our traditional ceremonies. I know it's
been a long time since I've been here but everything is still the
same. She looks at me,she's nervous I know but I can't help but
feel sorry for her. After this ceremony I have to tell her the
truth. Lying to her everyday won't get me anywhere, I've been
hiding this for way too long now
"What are you worried about?" I ask her knowing exactly but I
just want to hear it from her
"I'm not worried or nervous,I'm just-you know what,
nevermind. Let's go inside" she says opening the door. I hate
this,ever since that saga at the hospital, we've been sort-of
drifting apart if I may say. She never talks to me like she used to
anymore. I also head out taking our suitcases with me. She
follows behind me like a lost dog, of course she's nervous. We
enter the house through the front door leading to the sitting
room. As we enter all heads turn to us,it's my grandmother,my
3 aunts,5 of my uncles,my parents,my child and Ntokozo's and
then our cousins.
"San'bonani" Siyamu and I say in unison. My uncles smile while
my aunts faces look like they've eaten lemons. My dad smiles
"Yebo banta bami" he says-dad. We sit down and small
conversations are made here and there. My mom and aunts
dish up and Siyamu offers to help even though she's not
supposed to work hard,she just got discharged like yesterday. A
ringing phone disturbs my thoughts. O.M.G,shit,it's him. I walk
out and it stops ringing. It rings again and now I'll fuck him up
because he knows where I am and what I'm doing
"Andile what do you want?" I ask but it comes out harsher than
I had expected. He laughs ridiculously probably not believing
this. I'm in shit now!
"Is that how you talk to me now?" His voice sweet and evil at
the same time
"I'm sorry" I sincerely apologize with a sigh "this situation we're
in has gotten me so frustrated. I have to tell her but I don't want
to break her heart,even though these days her mind is
somewhere else"
"One way or another,the truth will come out. So it's either you
tell her or I do because I can't keep this secret any longer"
"If you tell her, I'm going to punish you in ways you never knew
existed" I tell him in a very deep voice
"Owww daddy don't say that" he replies while giggling,getting
excited. Damn now I'm excited. Okay I think everybody gets it
now,I'm gay,wait no I'm bisexual actually. I'm attracted to both
males and females. I'm also cheating on Siyamu with Andile,her
gay friend. I feel like I've fallen out of love with Siyamu but also I
was just using her all along so I can come out of the closet. I
know I was wrong but I did what I had to,to make myself happy.
Some would say I'm selfish but it is what it is. That bullshit story
of me being poor?that was all lies,I've never been poor. My
father has always been rich and the other day when he met
Siyamu at the store?he just forgot his wallet at home that day.
Siyamu couldn't know much about my life because she was just
a picture I was hiding behind.
4
It's been 2 weeks since the ceremony of washing away all the
bad luck of the babies deaths. Siyamu's mom was even there.
That's the last time we spoke,me and my "girlfriend".
Sometimes I want to call her and ask what's going on but I'll
leave that for another day. Maybe she's struggling with the loss
of her, *Clears throat* ,our babies. Let me call her. My phone
rings before I could even think of dialing her number
"Sho grootman,what do you have for me?" I ask my IT guy and
he sighs. "You do know that I don't have all day,right?"
"She's been kidnapped man and I can't seem to find out who
did this,whoever it is did a really great job leaving no traces. It's
been 5 hours" he says. I look at the time,it's 4pm
"Who has been kidnapped?"
"Are you kidding me?it's Siyamthanda"
"But who could kidnap her,I have too many enemies"
"You just got to find out which one is stupid enough to kidnap
your girl" he hangs up.
I think about this and maybe it's Diego,he has been wanting
revenge for the longest time now. This dude just doesn't give
up. I'll let this slide,I'll deal with this tomorrow. My phone rings,I
answered almost immediately
"Ntokozo"
"You know how they always say keep your friends close but
keep your enemies closer?"
"Yeah bro what's going on?"
"I bet whoever kidnapped Siyamu is close to you" he says and I
start to really think,who could it be?
"Dude I feel so bad,the only person in the family who really
loves Siyamthanda genuinely is Bayanda. The rest of us are just
pretending"
"What do you mean the rest of us are pretending?" He asks
acting confused but he knows exactly what I'm talking about
"I know you and dad know I'm gay,dad probably told uma" he
sighs
"Why weren't you honest with us in the first place?you know
we tell each other everything"
"This is embarassing because you know how I knew that you
guys know?dad was acting weird and all jumpy around me" he
keeps quiet "I just wanted to make you and dad proud, I also
wanted to be a good role model to Bayanda but that's just not
me"
This facade I'm hiding behind isn't helping me,it's only making
things worse. It's going to be harder to tell Siyamu now that
she's going through all that trauma. I hope she's okay
40
Snothando's pov:
Hello beautiful people,I am Snothando Gumede. I am 25 and
I'm an international soccer player,I also have my own sports
brand,Gumede is the name. I have a sort-of girlfriend,Khloe
Hallman. She's a model and she's super fit,hell I'm lucky to have
her but she's just not the one for me. I'm tired of always eating
takeaways when I'm with her. I'm currently at home,in
Newcastle. I've been spending a lot of time in South Africa,well
part of it is because of my mom being sick and well the other
part is I just missed home...okay,I'm lying. I want Siyamu back
"Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now
Our song on the radio but it don't sound the same
When our friends talk about you,all it does is just tear me down
Cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name
It all just sounds like ooh oooh ooh
Mmh too young,too dumb to realise that I should've bought you
flowers
And held your hand
Should've gave you all my hours
When I had the chance
Take you to every party cause all you wanted to do was dance
Now my baby's dancing but she's dancing with another man
My pride,my ego,my needs and my selfish ways
Caused the good, strong women like you to walk out my life
Now I'll never,never get to clean up the mess I made
Ohho
And that haunts me everytime I close my eyes
It all just sounds like ohh ohhh oooh
Mmmh too young, too dumb to realise that I should've bought
you flowers
And held your hand
Should've gave you all my hours,when I had the chance
Take you to every party cause all you wanted to do was dance
Now my baby's dancing but she's dancing with another man
Although it hurts,I'll be the first to say that I was wrong
Oh I know I'm probably much too late
To try and apologize for my mistakes but I just want you to know
I hope he buys you flowers
I hope he holds your hand
Give you all his hours,when he has the chance
Take you to every party,cause I remember how much you loved
to dance
Do all the things I should've done when I was your man
Do all the things I should've done when I was your man"
Bruno Mars - when I was your man,blasts through my car
speakers as I park my car infront of my parents house. My
home. My windows are dimmed but I'm sure everyone knows
that I'm back. I lock the doors of my black Lamborghini
Aventador roadster. I put my head on the steering wheel and I
cry like I've never cried before. It's been three weeks since
we've talked. Ever since I found out she was pregnant, I've told
myself to stay away because she seems to be serious about her
gay fucker. She wouldn't just get pregnant for anyone but she
did say she didn't know. *You're confused man* my
subconscious mocks.its been 15 minutes since I've gotten here
but I'm still on her Instagram page,stalking her. She hasn't
posted since a week ago when she posted a picture of her in
hospital telling everyone that she's fine now and she thanks
them for all the prayers.
After that she went MIA. She was last seen a week ago on
WhatsApp. *Maybe her boyfriend took her out of the country*
here we go again,my subconscious and mocking me. My eyes
are red and puffy now from all the crying. That is supposed to
be me taking her to Dubai,Paris and Lagos. I spot a picture of
her in a blue bikini. She looks damn fine. A knock on my window
startles me. I wipe my eyes and roll down the window. It's my
little brother,Mpilo.
"Ntwana ugrend?(dude are you okay?)" he asks,I guess it's
visible that I've been crying. I just nod.
"Can you take these plastics at the back,I'm coming back now
now. I want to get mom a present" I say and he takes the
plastics at the back.
"Wait for me,I'm coming with you" he shouts running in the
house. He's 22 but he acts like a child,mmh I wonder how he
has girlfriends. He comes back as I start the ignition. He hops in
and he's about to say something when my phone rings. I check
the caller ID but it's a Private number. I contemplate on
answering it or not. I end up answering it and I forgot that it's
connected to my car radio.
"Hello" I say
"Mfethu" he says and I can't get more annoyed. Okay let me
control myself
"Ufunani?(what do you want?)"
"I didn't call to fight you,I need you to help me so we can both
get what we want"
"And how do you expect me to help you?"
"Siyamthanda is missing,it's been a week"
Shock takes over me, and then anxiety. Who could've taken
her?why did they take her?is she okay?is she hurt?"so why are
you telling me?aren't you her boyfriend?"
"That's the thing I have a problem with, whoever took her is my
enemy and whoever they are is really good at covering their
tracks. My guys can't find anything so I need your guys to see if
they can find anything. I know you're not a gangster but I know
you have securities and IT guys just incase you need them. Why
am I doing this?I know you love Siyamu and I also want to break
up with her because I want to come out of the closet"
"What do you mean come out of the closet?" I say acting
confused
"Oh cut the act. I know you know I'm gay"
"You used her" I hiss
"I had no other choice,she was the perfect target" I laugh
hysterically. If I was a man of terror, I would've long killed this
bitch. He disgusts me
"I'll help you and I'm not doing this for you" I tell him as a
matter of fact
"Oh trust me,I know. Otherwise I'd do some dangerous stuff to
you" his voice has changed. Am I making him horny?what the
actual fuck?I end the call and Mpilo looks at me
"Is that why you were crying?" he asks. He's nosy
"Why was I crying?" I ask him confused,I don't know what he's
talking about
"You still love her" he says and he seems to be proud of himself
when I find myself speechless
"It's just that I dated her for a long time and I know she
would've done the same for me" I lie through my teeth
"Brother,if you don't change, she'll never come back. You're
lying to me your own brother,how will she trust you if you keep
on lying? Stop bad habits now" he says and I take back saying
he's a child. He's very wise,why am I even lying?she hates that
"I'm older,you don't get to give the good advice" I say and we
both laugh. I call my IT guy
"Sizwe, I need you to find me trails of evidence about Siyamu's
kidnapping. We have to search her phone, apartment and
where she was last seen"
"I hear you boss so is she the new madam?" he asks and I
chuckle
"If you want Khloe to eat us all and spit us out because we're
not in her diet" Mpilo says and we're all laughing our asses off.
He's right though,she eats strictly on her diet. I miss Siyamu,a
lot actually. Her warm hugs and her random kisses. Whoever
took her will suffer.
41
Snothando's pov:
I look at the rearview mirror and I can see his cars following me.
I sigh,one mistake and I'm dead. I follow my guys and his guys
follow me until we get to a very open space with lots of land
and no houses. We enter a very big house with the tallest walls.
This is where my guys do investigations for me. This is also
where I practice fighting and using my gun. Listen,I know what
you're thinking but I'm very rich and people want that for
themselves,some just want to kill me because they hate me for
no reason. I've got to protect myself.
We all park and there's about 7 cars here. We all get out of our
cars at the same time and Thando is with another guy that
looks really gay. We meet each other halfway.
"Sho mfethu" he says and I nod. Then I look at this gay person
as asking who this is "this is my girlfriend Andile and Andile this
is Snothando, Siyamu's ex boyfriend"
I don't even smile but this Andile guy has the sickest smile on
his face. These people are psychopaths. "Pleasure to meet you
Andile" I say
"Oh well I'm delighted. Siyamthanda surely has taste" ugh this
stupid bitch is getting on my nerves. I walk towards the double
steel door. Everyone follows me,one of my guys (by my guys I
mean my security guards) punches in the pin and the doors
open. It's very dark inside,the lights are always on. We walk
until we get to the room my IT guys do their thing. I call one of
them over,all of them are handling Siyamu's case. We sit down
on the couches.
"Tell me something bafo" I say
"Boss we haven't found anything yet"
"It's been 5 fucken weeks and your guys haven't found
anything,they are useless bastards" Thando screams. I take out
my gun in a jiffy,my guys already have their guns pointed at his
guys and he has his gun pointed at me while his guys have their
guns pointed at my guys.
"You will not fucken ask for my help,right now you are in my
territory and you are disrespecting my guys. You are also
disrespecting me,don't come here with your gay mindset and
think you're a mafia boss or something. I will kill you in a
second,don't start with me" I say in the calmest tone ever
"Uhm sorry boss,I think we found something" Sizwe says and I
look at him signalling him to stop talking
"Lower your fucken gun and sit the fuck down" I say while
putting my gun behind my back and my guys do too. I sit down
and look at him while they are still holding their guns. You're
probably wondering where his boyfriend is right now,I chuckle.
He's behind him looking at me nasty
"If you're not going to follow my rules in my place,you're going
to have to go so I suggest you sit down if you really want to
know" -me,angry as fuck but still calm. He sits down and puts
his gun away. That took a lot of courage for me to do. This guy is
a full on gangster. I nod to Sizwe signalling that he must
continue
"So we called her manager and some of her friends asking
about her whereabouts because none of them have filed a
missing person case for her. Sandile,her manager said that he
got a message from her telling him she needs fresh air so she
will be out of the country. Where were her bodyguards at this
time is the question we've been asking all along right?well the
person got people to keep these families hostage on the day
she got kidnapped so when the bodyguards told Siyamu they
are concerned about their families,she let them have a day off.
You,Thando probably know in the back of your head who took
Siyamu" he says the last part looking at Thando
"Why me?" he asks
"Because this person knew that you have bodyguards looking
out for Siyamu and he/she got those bodyguards killed on the
same day Siyamu went missing. We traced the number that
sent messages to her manager and friends and it seems like the
Sim card has been destroyed. After looking at the footage of
where she was kidnapped,we managed to get something new.
The person who was kidnapping her dropped a paper from his
pocket. We went there and we couldn't find the paper anymore
so we had to compromise. We looked in the nearby places and
in bins. When we finally found the paper,it had a number. We
traced that number and it led us to Nquthu but the very rural
part of iNquthu. Who's number is this?none other than
Thando's friend,Ntando Mkhabela" he says and my anxiety
decreases. Now I just want to get to her really quickly,what if
she's dead?I'm going to blame myself for the rest of my life.
That is how I'm feeling but my face is very straight because I'm a
man,I don't cry.
"Fuck it,Ntando had to take it this far" Thando curses
"This is all your fault,you better hope she's still alive" I say and
walk away leaving them there. I'm outside watching the sun
set,she loves this and I never knew when we were together
because eish I probably didn't know her as much as I thought.
I've seen her Instagram stories,she's always watching the sun
set. Thando comes and sits next to me
"We're going to Nquthu tomorrow morning"
"Why not now?" I ask frustrated because the longer we wait
means more time for him to kill her
"Because we have to draft up a plan to get in there"
"Only pussies draw up plans. We should just go there and we'll
see what we do when we get there"
"This is not the time to act impulsively. You're going to put your
life and hers in danger but I don't mind if both of you die,I really
do not care"
"Did you ever really love her?"
"Yeah at some point,when I was in denial"
"You're not answering my question"
"No I've never really loved her. She was just a picture"
"Promise me you'll fuck out of our lives after this"
"Why do you always have to cuss?"
"Because I'm fucken mad" I say calmly "promise me"
"I promise I'll leave you guys alone,only if I get what I want"
"And what exactly do you want?you are getting so annoying
right now"
"You'll find out sooner or later,it all depends on Siyamthanda"
he says. I wonder what he wants.
"Boss we've got to prepare, please come in" Sizwe says and I
stand up,Thando does too. I didn't think we'd be able to pull
this off together without biting each other's heads off.
Tomorrow I'm going to get my girl,wait technically she's still
Thando's girl but either way she was meant for me
Siyamu's pov:
I'm so happy today he's gone. I take off these 6 inch pencil
heels,damn my feet hurt. I sit on the comfy bed. Linda,my
"servant" walks in.
"I'm sorry" she says looking at me with pity. I keep quiet
"I was also kidnapped" I look at her and she has tears on the
verge of coming out. I stand up and embrace her in a hug
"I'm so sorry, please don't cry" I say. I don't even have tears
anymore, he hits me everytime I cry. We hear shouting
downstairs
"Put your heels on,he's drunk. I don't know why he's back so
early" she says panicking while wiping her tears. We quickly
follow each other to the kitchen downstairs. He comes in and
smiles at me,hugs me from behind and kisses my cheek. I fake
the fakest of smiles
"Sawbona maMkhabela" he says in his disgusting voice. I never
thought Ntando could be this man,yes I knew that he likes other
people's girlfriends but to kidnap me and make me his
"wife"?that's on another level,I wonder when Thando is coming
for me. Maybe he's the one that sold me to his friend. What a
nightmare...
42
Siyamu's pov:
"Look at the fucken screen you damn slut!" he shouted through
his teeth when I refused to look at the TV screen. I was scared
he is going to make me watch porn,I know I've been
kidnapped,beaten,made a wife to a man I don't even know that
well but I'm glad I am not a sex slave. I look at the screen scared
of what I'll find. It's 3am and since it's winter now it's very dark
outside. It's a picture of Thando,I look at Ntando again not
understanding what game he's playing at
"Did I not tell you to look at the screen?" he asks getting mad
and I know better than to make this man mad. I look at the TV
again,he shows my pictures of Thando with Andile and they are
kissing,holding each other's private parts. What the hell is going
on here?I can feel the hot tears in my eyes drop,one by one.
Ntando slaps me hard across the face. I keep quiet and look
down
"Look at me!" he commands,his voice holding so much
authority. I look at him while trying to hold back my tears. He
really did sell me. "From today onwards you're going to forget
that lame bastard of yours,uyangizwa mkami!?(do you hear me
my wife?)"
"Yebo baba ngyakuzwa(yes baba I hear you)" he commanded
me to call him baba otherwise I get a punch. I've even stopped
being cheeky because of the fists that go through my body.
"Repeat after me" he says and I nod "I Siyamthanda Mawande
S'bongokuhle Tshabalala take you Ntando Lungelo Mkhabela"
"I Siyamthanda Mawande S'bongokuhle Tshabalala take you
Ntando Lungelo Mkhabela"-i repeat
"To be my lawfully wedded husband"
"To be my lawfully...wedded husband" I stutter. He laughs
excitedly and jumps up and down. "Can I please go and sleep,I
am very tired and these heels are exhausting" even when I
wake up he makes me wear heels. We don't sleep in the same
room and I'm afraid I'll have to say,yet. Nobody is going to come
and save me
"Let's go then" he says and I'm relieved. I walk to my bedroom
"no baby we're going to my bedroom,it's really cold today. I
could use some cuddling"
"Please no,I'm not ready" I state with begging eyes,I really am
not mentally and physically. I just lost my child
"Who said I want to sleep with you?you're damaged goods" he
laughs after that. What if I really am damaged goods?I've lost a
child, I'm dating a gay guy. "I can repair you but if you say you're
not ready,well then we'll have to wait" I mentally sigh. That was
a close one.
I go into his room and it's very ugly,the colours don't
compliment each other at all. Who'd use a bright orange and a
dark blue for a room?the light was switched on when I walked
in so I just stood at a far corner and watched him undress. I'm
wearing a formal skirt with stockings and a shirt,he never gave
me pyjamas to sleep in. He looks at me,shirt off and his V-line
showing. If it was any other time I'd find his body very attractive
but I'm not here willingly. Maybe I just have to fall in love with
him because nobody will ever find me,yeah yeah maybe that's
my fate
"Hey..." he says softly while brushing my chin with his index
finger "what are you thinking about?" he asks and I don't know
what to tell him. I'm good at lying but I'm honestly dumbstruck
right now. Him touching me gave me a lot of fear
"Can I please go home,I will not tell anyone about this. I will not
even look at you walking down the street" I say looking down
playing with my hands because I know what is about to follow.
Yes,I was right. A punch landed on my stomach. I kneel on the
floor while holding my stomach,it hasn't healed properly
because I didn't get enough rest when I was discharged because
I was kidnapped so it hurts really bad
"No my baby" he laughs sarcastically "you're mine!all mine and
nobody.... I mean nobody will take you away from me" he says
calmly. His calmness scares the shit out of me "now wear this
and look sexy for me" he says while throwing something he
took from his wardrobe. I pick it up and it's a pink lace pantie
with silver chains strapped to a green bra. This looks too small
for me. I take it anyway and I struggle putting it on. This is small.
He knocks on the bathroom door,I keep quiet because I'm full-
on naked. This thing doesn't fit me and I don't know how to tell
him. My stomach grumbles and I'm craving some real
food,meat I mean. He hasn't been letting me eat anything
except salads while I watch him eat steak,pork,chicken or beef.
You name it.
He opens the door and looks at me from head to toe. I cover my
boobs with my hands,I wish I had small boobs in times like
these. He gives me a look that makes me really uncomfortable
"it doesn't fit me" I tell him
"Oh so you're defying my orders now"
"No baba,I'll put it on right now" I say just to get him out of
here. He walked out mumbling something under his breath. I
forced the underwear on and it tore a little. When I put the bra
on I felt like I couldn't breathe. I walked out still wearing
heels,bear in mind that it is very cold. I am shaking like
nobody's business. I get to his room and he's waiting for me
while laying on the bed looking up. Now he's only in his boxers.
I switch the lights off and take off these heels,at last. I get into
my side of the cold bed and I face the window. He also gets in
and I shiver from his cold hands touching my waist. He caresses
my butt slowly,he finds the part of the underwear that is torn
and he keeps on touching it over and over again. Finally he
speaks
"You're such a fat piece of shit that you tear your underwear
when you wear it" he says and laughs until he crys. I hold back
my tears,Snothando used to tell me I'm fat. That really broke
me a lot. He tries to put his finger in the bra strap and he fails,
it's too tight. He laughs again "you're useless. Just look at your
saggy boobs. I really thought you were all that when I
kidnapped you but now I know that Thando has been fucking
an old woman. Atleast your ass is still intact. I should just kill
you now because you're useless to me, imagine me and you nje
plus your saggy granny boobs. Imagine yourself when you have
kids, they'll be disgusted by you. Who would even want to have
kids with you. Just look at your belly,it's not even flat like the
other girls" he says and I really lose it this time. He's digging up
and old grave. I thought I burried that part of my life. I rise
within a second and I'm ontop of him giving him punches and
slaps. He overpowers me and he's the one ontop of me now. He
slaps me hard,I put my hands over my face "what are you trying
to do huh?" he punches me once more on my face and he walks
out. I thought I was safe but he came back with a big,black
sjambok
"Come kneel down you bastard of a woman" he roars and I look
at him like he's lost his mind. "5...4...3...2...1" he says and he
comes and grabs me by my arm roughly. I fall onto the cold tiled
floor. He hits me and I feel like it's hot everywhere,I jump. He
does it again and I even lost count of how many times he hit
me. I think it was for 15 minutes. He hit me anywhere
possible,even on my face when I didn't cover it. It burnt like
hell. What have I done to deserve this? "get on the bed!" he
shouted after hitting me,some of the sores are even bleeding
and some are cut open. I'd rather be punched and slapped than
this.
I climb onto the bed slowly because my whole body hurts.
While I'm on my knees trying to think of how to sleep. He
pushes me and I fall. I scream and he slaps me. I lay on my back
taking in all the pain. He begins to suck my neck. I just keep
quiet. He goes down my neck kissing me and then he starts
biting me. I scream and try to kick. He holds me down and bites
my wounds sucking on my blood. I breath heavily because of
the pain,I can't cry now. He licks some of my wounds. He takes
his gun and looks at me. I look at him straight in the eye. He hits
me with it on my forehead,I touch it and there's blood gushing
out. He hits me again and before I can react. I'm gone...
43
Thandolwethu's pov:
We only took 3 cars for safety reasons. I'm in a car with
Snothando,one of my guys and the driver. The other 2 cars have
a driver and 3 of my guys each. I suggested that only my guards
go because it's too dangerous. Not that his guys are not capable
but they're just not used to this type of thing. This dude really
loves Siyamthanda,he gave up his pride and let me get away
with this one just for her? honestly speaking I'm hurt that there
is someone who loves her more than me. That doesn't matter
though because I'm in love with Andile. I do not know where
this feeling came from but i really love Andile regardless of what
people say. I haven't been gay my whole life but when I saw
him,I saw heaven on earth. I'm disturbed by someone talking
non-stop.
"I really do not care what you wear, you'll look pretty anyways"
he says. Who is he talking to? "You didn't gain any weight
Khloe,stop crying"
"That's all you ever talk about" he says now getting impatient I
think. Trouble in paradise?
"I love you too, bye" he drops the call and sighs
"What are you looking at?" his question directed to me
"Is she too hot to handle?" I say with a smirk. I'm such a jerk,I
know
"You better mind your own business" he says and faces the
other direction,towards the window. Uhm okay,maybe I
shouldn't have said that. This man is way too calm for my liking.
So we're wearing all black. We chose to wear black sweatpants
because they're flexible. Snothando is wearing shades because
oh well he's just dramatic.
It's around 7am when the cars all stop at an open area. I can see
a house or whatever that is with the tallest walls in the
distance. We make our way out and my guys await for the plan
I've put together
"So majitha as you can see,there are a lot of guards here. When
we approach the two outside we'll pretend to ask for directions
to a certain house and then we'll shoot them. Don't forget to
put silencers on your guns. We'll take the keys and since there is
a gate at the back,that's the one we'll use to get into the house
without being seen since there aren't any guards there. I'll
divide us into three groups. Group one will enter through the
back,group two will take out the guards in the front yard while
group three enters through the front. When we get inside,we
do not kill Ntando but if he has a motive,get him to stand down
but DO NOT KILL HIM! The drivers should be on standby
outside. Let's Go!" I end off. After that I divide all of us into the
three groups. Snothando is in group one and I'm in group two.
We go back into the cars and head off. We arrive at the gate and
this place is so big. Ntando really is a psychopath. The driver
stops the car and he signals one of the guards to come to him.
"Hey man,I think we're lost. Don't you know any Dlamini
household around here?" the driver asks
"Uhm yeah there..." he gets cut off by me shooting him in the
throat. Before the other one can react,I've already shot him
twice in the chest.
"Boss you should've let the poor man finish his sentence" the
driver says sarcastically and we all laugh. The other car with
Snothando in it,which is group one goes to the other side. We
all get out of the car,one after the other. I take the keys from the
guard and open the gate. The guards inside are on high alert. All
their guns pointed to us,my guys are just so chilled. They know
it's about to be chaos
"What do you want Thando?" One of them asks. I chuckle,they
even know me
"I guess you were warned about me" I say and my guys start
shooting,so do I. Ntando is stupid ne,such little guards knowing
that I have the best team. Only one of my guys got shot because
we caught them off guard. He got shot on the leg,he's taken
back to the car and our doctor assists him with a bandage
because he had to come inside to check on Siyamu. We go
inside and the first bullet hits me on my chest. Their guns are
weak,the bullet didn't even put that much impact on my bullet
proof vest. When my guards help me stand up two more of
these morons come down the stairs,their guns pointed to us
"Get out now or you die here!" one of them shouts,their guns in
perfect position. I chuckle. 5 bullets land on the first ones
head,the second one gets shot on the chest 6 times. It was the
guys from group one. If you want to know, Snothando didn't
shoot them well I don't know maybe he's got his own reasons.
We all make our way up to the rooms upstairs. I open the first
door and it looks like someone has been sleeping here. We look
all over the room but no sight of both of them. Snothando kicks
the door of the second room which I think woke up the sleeping
beast. I'm sure he was drinking that's why he was sleeping all
through these gunshots. As we enter he jolts up from the
bed,eyes red. Somebody else catches my attention though. It's
Siyamu in a very disturbing state. She's got wounds all over her
body and they look really sore. How was she able to sleep and
what is she wearing? I can see Snothando is ready to kill
someone
"So you finally came?" Ntando asks directed to me
"Why wouldn't I come?"
"Because you're with your gay friend phela"
"Oh come on,drop the act. You've always wanted Siyamu but
now that you have her,you're abusing her?"
"She's not worth having. She's such a failure and a whore. She
even failed to carry your child. Even her boobs are..." he doesn't
finish his sentence because Snothando punched him. I also join
in on the punching. I can see he's still drunk because his
punches are weak. Sleeping beauty wakes up and her right eye
is swollen and the other is red. Her forehead is full of dry blood.
Her eyes travel from all the guards in this room to me and
Snothando beating up Ntando. She searches for anything to
cover herself with but she doesn't find anything
"Guys please give us some space" Snothando says to the
guards. They all look at me and I nod. She wraps her arms
around her legs,in an egg position with her head resting on her
knees. Snothando makes his way to her and touches her softly.
She shivers,has he been raping her?
I take off my belt and I hit Ntando on the face
"DID YOU FUCKEN TOUCH HER?" I shout at him. He laughs,his
teeth full of blood
"Who would touch this thing?" he asks with disgust on his face.
I pull out my gun and point it to his head. He smiles
"Don't do it" Snothando shouts before I pull the trigger. I look at
him
"We have to torture him to death,his ending can't be this easy"
he says while smirking. The devil has been awaken. I shoot
Ntando's shoulder and his knee,leaving him laying on the floor
crying. What a pussy cat. Siyamthanda whispers something in
Snothando's ear and he takes off her bra gently. She has bruises
all around where the bra was and purple marks showing that
her blood was even clotting. Some of the bruises on her body
have teeth marks. Snothando takes off his poloneck and gives it
to her,along with his jacket and sweatpants. He's left in his
boxers and a vest. Wow,this dude has a great body. He's brave
man,it's really cold out here
"Get away from me Snothando" she whispers after getting
dressed . Snothando looks so confused. " And wena,wena
Thando" she says pointing at me " I trusted you! Why didn't you
tell me?I've told you multiple times that I'd rather be hurt by
the truth than sugar coated lies. I hate you so much... I hope
you're happy with him. Vele he has a history of taking other
people's men. Look at you,you even look different. You look
distracted. Do a favour for me ne,when you get home ugqume
uphalaze (steam and vomit) and when you find out the truth,do
not come back to me" what is wrong with her?does she know
about Andile?why do I feel hurt because I love Andile. I'm so
confused
"Siyamthanda please let's go" Snothando says. She gives him
the death look
"Do I know you?" she asks him and I almost burst out laughing
but I held it in
"What's wrong with you now?" he asks confused as fuck
"You went MIA on me after that hospital incident so don't come
here and act like you care about me. Just leave me the hell
alone. My life was better off without you" she spits back. Her
voice cracking,why does she want to cry?doesn't she love me?
Maybe it's just the trauma she's been going through. I peep
through the door and call the doctor to check her out. The
doctor walks in and she eyes him
"Goodmorning ma'am,I'm doctor Simone and I'll be checking
you out today" he says. He checks out her bruises and she
jumps a bit uncomfortable when he's touching her. When he's
done,he gives her medication to take including pain killers
"We do not talk about this day,you were never kidnapped. I'll
give you time to decide what you want to do to this thing" I say
pointing at Ntando. She walks out limping and I walk out right
behind her. Snothando is defeated at this point,nigga ain't even
cold. We get to the cars and Siyamu is sitting inbetween me and
Snothando. This dude wouldn't let Siyamu go anywhere that
isn't near him. Just like that she's safe again...
44
Siyamu's pov:
It's been 2 weeks since those two men in my life 'saved' me.
Thandolwethu and I decided to cut things off because he's with
Andile now. We even made it public that we broke up,it was the
most mature breakup I've been through. What am I saying?I've
only been in 3 relationships my whole life. I'm very glad that we
both acted like adults. Yes people were talking but I don't mind
them. They still don't know the whole truth cause they never
got a reason for our break up. I'm back at work and hiding my
bruises was easy since it's winter now. Snothando has been
calling me non-stop, sometimes he gets gifts delivered to my
door. I always throw them away. He once came to my
apartment in the early hours of the morning as I was coming
back from a gig but I shut the door in his face. Buhle and Sandile
are good,Siphosethu is even growing and she's so damn cute.
She's 5 months now
I get dressed in a powder blue ripped jeans and a white crop
topped long sleeve shirt which shows my cleavage a little.I've
lost weight and people think it's normal. I haven't talked about
the trauma I went through. The smallest things scare me,like
someone raising their hand,I just shield my face. I'm lucky
nobody has started being suspicious. I also wear my black Prada
pencil heels. I head out after getting a call from Sandile telling
me he's outside. I'm going to an interview with James Smith,yes
the guy that's famous for his radio talk show. I get in the car and
greet everyone
"You want coffee?" Sandile asks me
"Nah I'm fine"
"What's eating you up?these days you don't even eat with us
and that's not good for your health" he says. Okay,I have to
come up with a quick lie
"I'm on a diet" I blantly say. He laughs,this one is crazy I swear
"Ugh man,try another lie"
"But..."
"No,I've known you for more than 3 years and you love your
food,I can't imagine you eating grass all day" he tells me facts
"Sandile I've been finding this breakup hard because I also lost
our baby. It makes me feel like a failure of a woman" no it's not
that,it's the man that been occupying my mind for the last 2
weeks since I saw him in his boxers the other day. That's part of
the reasons I've been avoiding him
"You're honestly the best meddie a gent could ask for,musa
ukuhlanya(stop being crazy) and start seeing that you're a great
person. It's his loss,he's stupid for ever cheating on you and I'm
sure whoever he cheated on you with has a smaller ass than
you" his statement makes me laugh out loud because Andile's
ass is the size of a peanut
"Thank you" I say giving him a hug after laughing. We get to his
studio,where he does his interviews and stuff. We get off and as
soon as we get in,he's no where to be seen. His PA welcomes us
and I'm taken to the room where I'll do my makeup and change
my clothes. I get to choose my own clothes and that's a blessing
in disguise in this industry. I choose a powder blue suit for
women. The colour matches perfectly with my skin. The pants
are just the right size, they're a tight fit. I wear a blouse that
makes my boobs a cleavage. Nice. I pair it with multi colour
Superga sneakers. The lady does a full face beat,the colours of
her eye shadow matching my clothes. Another lady does my
hair,she styles my black and dark brown bob weave. Doing the
baby hairs and all,making me look pretty. They ask to take
pictures with me and I agree,that's not professional though I've
accepted that I'm not Oprah. Get the joke?if you don't get it
forget about it. I haven't got lipstick on but my lips have been
outlined with a black lip liner and then they've added lipgloss. I
look pretty even though I don't like makeup
I take pictures of myself and some little videos with Sandile. I
post the full body picture of me holding a glass of champagne,
laughing,on Instagram. It's beautiful but my smile is fake. Some
repost saying I'm back and what what. I sit there waiting for this
man. An hour passes and he arrives. The cameras start rolling as
soon as he sits down. He hugs me,I hug him back but I'm not
returning the smile
"The beautiful and elegant DJ Siyamu" he says. James is a very
ugly man I must say,for some odd reason girls love him. Maybe
it's the money but I can't say that out loud now,can I?
"You're late" I say giving him the death stare. He sighs
"I had to rush to hospital because my daughter wasn't feeling
well" he says looking sad. I also had a daughter or a son. I soften
up
"I'm sorry James,you know we could always reschedule this for
another time,right?" I offer
"Don't worry,she's fine now" he says now smiling "so hello to
you guys and welcome back to Jamie's talkshow. I'm James
Smith and this is our famous DJ Siyamu. We're delighted to have
you here"
"I'm also happy to be here,just to loosen up a little bit" I say and
he asks me about how I've been settling in at work since I came
back from hospital. I tell him everything,how happy this type of
work makes me
"So tell me what made you and Thandolwethu break up?" he
says and we chuckle at the same time. I knew this was coming
"and also how your experience with him has been"
"I'm not going to lie to you. I really enjoyed every moment with
him,it was always laughs and happy moments... Well we broke
up because he found someone else" I chuckled not bitterly
though
"Does that hurt you?" he asks. How stupid can you be James?
"Of course it hurt but I can't hold someone down,maybe that's
his soulmate and I'd be standing in the way of fate"
"So how did you find out?"
I look up to avoid tearing up and inhale "I was in a coma and
when I woke up,I realised I had been in a car accident. The
doctor told me that I lost my baby. At first I was confused,what
baby? because I wasn't pregnant and if I was,I never really got
to acknowledge the baby or even have a connection with it.
Thando knew I lost the baby but he never really wanted to talk
about it. While I was at the hospital,the doctor informed me
about how I actually lost the baby. The metal went too deep
into my stomach and it even touched my uterus which caused it
to tear and I've been taking medication ever since because I
was told I might never be able to carry a child ever again. When
I got out of hospital,I went to his home for a cleansing and all
that stuff. Cleansing the bad luck. After that he went MIA on me
until one day I decided to call him and he sat me down and told
me that he's found someone else"
James seems so sad about this and it's fine,I get it. I'm just not
good enough for anyone
"I'm so sorry to hear that but how can he do that?he was
supposed to be there for you" we talk about a lot of things
regarding my life until our time is up. I head home and take a
hot shower. I'm sleeping in today,I haven't got a gig till
tomorrow night. So the interview went viral because of my
miscarriage story. People were sending their condolences to
me,some cussing at Thandolwethu. He deserves it though. I
wear a long sleeved pyjama top with short pyjama pants. I don't
know why I'm like this. I wear my long,black happy socks and a
gown on top. Not those silk robes,I'm wearing an actual fur
robe. It's grey though. I take my blanket and spread it across my
bed,getting in and as soon as my but is comfy enough my damn
phone had to ring. It's so cold,we need boyfriends in times like
these but ehy mjolo will hurd you. I pick it up and it's an
unsaved number. I answer
"Please open the door for me" he says in a very weird voice. Is
he sick?
"I'm not home"
"Siyamthanda please,it's freezing cold out here" I sigh and hang
up while getting out of bed wearing my gumboots. Yes,I have
gumboots for many reasons lol. I open the door and this dude is
dressed like he was kicked out. Why isn't he wearing warm
clothes?
"Are you going to drool over me forever or are you going to let
me in?" he asks. Arrogant much huh. Eye roll. I move making
way for him to come in. It's really warm in here,the Aircon is on.
"Let me get you another robe and some socks. Why are you
wearing flip flops in this cold? uyahlanya yini Snothando?do you
want to die?" I shout at him
"Stop shouting at me" he says. He's so calm yet so possessive
and authorative. I stop blabbering and get him a robe and some
socks,I also made us coffee. That's something we have in
common. We both love coffee. I lead him to my room because
it's warmer,that's where the Aircon is but the last time we were
in a room together,I lost my virginity. Nobody has said a word to
the other. I get in my bed,he stands at the door with his cup of
coffee. Mmh,I could order that all day everyday. Not him,not
him. I'm talking about the coffee. I tap the space next to me on
my bed
"Are you sure?" he asks. Has this man really changed?since
when does he need my confirmation on things?I nod. He gets in
and I browse for some movies on Netflix. He finally speaks. He
talks too much this one but he is very calm
"I saw your interview" I look at him and get back to what I was
doing "do you want me to kill him?" the way he asks so softly
makes me burst out in laughter. This man surely knows how to
make me smile,not smile, laugh
"Like you'd do that for me"
"Yes I would my lady" he says wiggling his eyebrows. Cheesy
this one I tell you.
"What's wrong with you,have you got a fever?"
"I caught flu since the day I walked naked for you but you were
ignoring me. I risked my life for you " he says acting hurt and I
laugh. He pouts showing off his perfect lips
"You're so dramatic Mr Gumede" I say after giggling. Why am I
giggling?I am over this man bathong.
"I like the sound of that Mrs Gumede" I gasp acting shocked
"Snothando stop it" I say and we laugh. We're so stupid. I get
some cough syrup for him from the cupboard and I make him
drink as the baby he is. We end up cuddling while watching Tall
Girl. That is one hell of a funny movie. He's so warm,I can hear
soft snoring when I finish the movie so I also decided to
sleep,on my man's chest. I'm joking yhuu,Khloe would kill me.
Woah, exactly. Why am I in bed with a man that's in a
relationship?
"I love you" he whispers before falling back to his peaceful
sleep. I take a picture of him, he's holding me like I'll run away. I
just end up sleeping on his chest...
45
Siyamu's pov:
This man acts like he's homeless and doesn't have any money.
It's three days later and I'm coming from a gig,it's 11pm. I open
the door slightly because I'm carrying all the gifts from fans.
None of it is food if you think so,I don't eat food from anyone.
It's just flowers and bouquets of roses. I'm flattered I push the
door and I see his head just above the couch,he's watching TV.
He turns his head to me and rushes to come and help me carry
these gifts. We just leave them on the kitchen counter because
there's just too many of them. The crowd from Umhlanga really
loves me, ncoah. He switches off the TV and heads off to
our,not our,my room that he has made his. So we have just
been cuddling everyday, all-day since he's been here. He
doesn't ever leave the house,that's so unlike him. 'Maybe he's a
mafia don and he's hiding here with you,his one true love' my
subconscious tells me and I just brush it off. Stupid girl. I follow
him to my room and he's taking off his clothes showing off his
perfectly toned body,oh my gosh this is dessert to die for.
I don't stare for long,it was just a second or two. Wouldn't want
him knowing that I want him. I take my pyjamas and close the
bathroom door. I shower for like 15 minutes and come out
feeling refreshed. I brush my teeth and wear my pyjamas after
lotioning. They're short pyjamas by the way lol. I make my way
out and I find him in my closet,mind you he's only wearing his
boxers
"What are you doing?" confusion laced all over my voice
"I was rearranging your clothes since they're so untidy and I
can't sleep"
"Ugh man,just leave it. You'll find it untidy again tomorrow
morning" I say to him and he closes it. I don't trust him but he is
the cleanest man I've ever come across. He's always so neat and
tidy. I walk closer to him until I feel his breath on mine. I take
my arms and hang them around his bold shoulders
"What's wrong Snothando,talk to me" I say in almost a whisper.
He snakes his hands gently on my waist, pulling me closer to
him. I'll probably regret this if I don't pull out now
"My mom is sick and she doesn't want to go to the doctor. She
keeps saying if it's her time,then it's meant to be but I make her
take pills though. I can't lose her now" he says with sadness. I
don't like seeing him like this. I put my hand on the back of his
head pulling it closer to mine. I give him a peck,why am I fucken
taking the lead?he returns it with a deep kiss and at first I don't
respond because I'm shocked but he slips his tongue in me and I
just go with the flow. The time he broke my virginity, everything
went so fast. There was clothes flying off but this time the kiss is
just slow and smooth. It's not like I'll sleep with him
He grabs my butt cheek, massaging it while his other hand is
under my pyjama massaging my boob. He starts spanking me
which keeps on bringing me closer to his crotch. I can feel his
bulge right on my stomach, damnit why am I short?I let go of
the kiss just for some air. I look at him,his eyes are already the
smallest and the way he looks at me,I can't explain it. I don't
know what it is,maybe it's just lust. He picks me up and puts me
on the bed,taking off my pyjama short with me helping him,he
also takes my pyjama shirt off. He looks at me the whole time
while taking off his boxer shorts.
"You're so beautiful" he says. He's just saying that because I'm
naked,all just for him. I don't believe him,he made me feel so
insecure and I still do around him. He kisses my neck going
down,he kisses the scar on my stomach. He kisses the stretch
marks on the inside of my thighs telling each one how good
they look on me and how special they are,just like he would to
his children. He finally comes up and looks at me
"Are you sure about this?we can always just cuddle" he asks
with so much worry and I know I had a miscarriage just a few
months ago and I was almost raped multiple times but I've got
spider webs down there. I don't give him a response but I just
pull his head closer and lick his cheek. He chuckles because oh
well,I'm crazy like that. He starts kissing my nipples,one by one.
He sucks on the left,this is tickling me. I laugh out loud and he
laughs too falling on top of me
"I guess you don't need foreplay" touching my already wet
punani. I just want to get this over and done with,why is he
taking so long?he's already dripping precum. Something flashes
through my mind,hitting me like a bolt of lightning. Khloe,man
right here has a girlfriend
"Snothando put a condom on" I tell him. He looks confused and
annoyed at the same time
"But I want to feel all of you" this one is stupid I tell you
"Snothando I'm not on the injection and you have a
girlfriend!how would I know if it's safe enough?"
"Stop shouting at me and take out your stupid condom" he says
calm as ever. I just feel like he's annoyed by me. I sit up straight
folding my arms over my bare boobs
"Do I annoy you?" I ask because clearly someone is annoyed by
me
"What do you mean?no you don't" he says and kisses my lips
again. He lays me down in the position I was in before,I'm so
deep in the kiss. He's pushing himself in me now,fuck he's so
big. He starts thrusting in and out of me,slowly. Pain mixed with
pleasure washes over my body...
"Snothando please" I beg him as he just stares at me with his
beautiful big brown eyes
"But I want you to be pregnant" he says pouting. Last night he
kept me up all night. It's burning down there.He doesn't want to
go buy me some morning after pills. He just doesn't understand
how much of a risk it is for me to get pregnant right now. Plus I
don't want to get pregnant for another woman's man
"Snothando you're with Khloe remember?your perfect
girlfriend?" I shout at him getting out of bed, completely naked.
He also gets out of bed,naked. His crotch springing freely,his
hands on his waist
"Did I not tell you to not shout at me?" he says coming closer to
me. He smacks my ass "awulaleli Siyamthanda,you don't listen
to me" he kisses my neck and he starts rubbing me down there.
I moan because it feels so good. He starts slipping his fingers
into me,when I feel like I'm about to have an orgasm he stops
and enters the bathroom. He left me with my mouth hanging
open,I want to cry. I can hear the shower running. I join him in
the shower and he just carries on like nothing happened. He
scrubs my back and I scrub his but nobody is talking to the
other. When we're done,I wear a simple black t-shirt from Nike
and my black jeans with Gucci flip flops. I comb my weave and
I'm out the door. I left him watching TV all dressed up,he's also
wearing all black. He shouts after me through the passages. I
turn around
"Please come back" he shouts. I fold my arms "please
maMshengu" damn he just made my stomach do backflips. I
walk back and he pulls me inside closing the door. He smashes
his lips on mine,pulling me closer and I respond. "Let's take
some pictures" he says after leaving me breathless. We really
do take pictures and videos. We also end up doing some TikTok
challenges and I tell him I have to leave. I'm on my way to the
doctor. As soon as I got the pills,I drank them. I can't take the
risk. When I get home,an hour later the house is quiet and it
looks cleaner than how I left it. There's a note on the fridge
'i think you've had enough of me,now go clean up your closet
and don't forget to wash your clothes today. I know you won't
be doing anything. Don't order anything,I left some breakfast
for you in the oven' It read. I do as he says and start rearranging
my closet. Something catches my eye,a stack of R200 notes with
a note. 'with this I want you to spoil yourself. Remember always
that I love you' it read. I take a picture,amazed and surprised at
the same time. So that's what he was doing yesterday in my
closet,ugh this man. I go look in the washing machine and I find
another stack of R200 notes. I also take a picture of that. I go to
the oven and find a full English breakfast,it looks so yummy. I
take a picture of that too. I take a picture of the note on the
fridge. On my Instagram story,I post the pictures. I start with the
note and write 'so he left me clues' and then the pictures of the
money follows and lastly the breakfast. People keep on
reposting the story and then Buhle calls me. Lord save me! I
send Snothando a thank you text but he really didn't have to.
Where am I going to start spending this money?
46
Siyamu's pov:
I woke up happy today. It's still as cold as fuck,you know how
July is in South Africa. It's a pity I won't be staying for long.
Yes,you heard me right darling. I'm not staying here,I'm finally
getting international gigs,not just in Africa. We're leaving at
8pm tonight because I've got some commitments. I hoot for my
mom and my sister to come out. I told them I'm taking them
shopping. My sister runs out of the house first,you'd swear
she's 5 but no she's 17. Mom follows shortly behind. We greet
each other and make our way while me and mom jam to some
80's music. My sister wouldn't understand, she's too young lol.
We arrive at Park Street Mall and it's not that full. I park my car
and we make our way out. We start at SportScene since my
sister likes that store,I'm wearing sunglasses so people cannot
see me but most people spot me and ask for pictures telling me
how much of a role model I am. My bodyguards got it under
control though. My sister keeps on fitting and we've been here
for a whole 30 minutes. Finally she is done. My mom takes
some clothes too. We head off to Checkers to get them some
groceries and my sister always adds things she won't even
need. She doesn't even like strawberries but she just put them
in the basket. I leave them heading off to the liquor part of the
store because yes I'm like that. People keep looking at me,some
giving me hugs. I bump into a tall,dark and ohhh that's some big
biceps he got there. He clears his throat
"Saw'bona nkosazana. Ngabe ngikwazelaphi kodwa?(greetings
princess. I wonder where I know you from)" he says
"Uhm I'm in a rush" I say to him turning back and out of the
liquor area without buying anything. Who is that handsome
man?ugh why do I have to embarrass myself infront of hot
potentials. I look for mom and Thando and find them about to
pay. I take out my card before she does
"Just before I leave" I say smiling at her. She smiles back and
lord she has a beautiful smile. We pay and retreat to Wimpy for
some lunch since it's 2pm now. We enter and take a seat,all
eyes are on us. We order and just chill and talk.
"Mom what colour would you prefer for a car?" I say trying by
all means to not seem suspicious
"Grey is the best shame I don't want to lie" after she says that
I'm so relieved yhoo the stress levels go down.
"What's wrong with your phone now girl?" Thando asks my
mom,who is frowning staring at her phone. Yes,my little sister
calls my mom girl.
"This app doesn't want to download" she replys
"Give it to me" Thando and I say at the same time. She stares at
me, I do the same. This one thinks she's intimidating but nahh.
So Sbusiso and Nomfundo are my dad's children but not my
mom's. Thando is my mom's but not my dad's. She blinks and I
laugh
"Yes baby girl,I thought so" I say to her taking my mom's phone.
Mom just chuckles and I fix her problem,she had no space just
imagine. Our food arrives and we dig in with Thando taking
pictures nonstop. When we leave the mall,I blindfold my mom
because I have a surprise for her. My sister squeals cause she
knows what's going on. I drive to VW car dealership. My sister is
already out taking a video with my phone. I guide my mom
inside and the whole place is quiet. I asked the manager to keep
it a surprise,he knew I was coming. He smiles as we come in
walking slowly because my mom doesn't trust me lol. My sister
keeps the cameras rolling. I make her stand in front of her
dream car,it's still covered with the big red cloth.
"3...2...1" I take off her blindfold and we all shout "SURPRISE!"
she looks behind her and sees it's a car,her eyes wide open she
looks at me. She takes off the cloth slowly and it's her favourite
car. The new Polo GTI 8. It's grey in colour and it fits her
perfectly. She kneels down crying
"Mom don't cry please" I say trying to comfort her
"Oh my child. God blessed me with you. I'm so happy,thank
you,thank you!" We hug shortly and I wipe her tears. We stand
up and the manager gives her some flowers and
champagne,that's going to be mine lol. We all take turns taking
pictures with her and her car. We also take a picture of me
handing over her car keys to her. I thank the manager and I sign
one last time and we're ready to take this baby home. It's in her
name by the way,I know I bought it but it was out of love. My
sister chooses to ditch me and ride with her mother in her new
car. We go home and we order some pizza just to celebrate. It's
4pm now but I'm not ready to leave. We eat the pizza while
laughing at old memories. I pop the champagne and my sister
comes with 2 champagne glasses for mom and I. I pour some
for us and take a video of us clicking our glasses together
"Go take a glass for yourself,only today because we're
celebrating" I whisper to my sister because I know mom is going
to protest. She smiles naughtily,yes I'm a very bad influence to
the child. She does as I say and when she comes back with a
glass,mom stares at her and then at me. I quickly pour some in
her glass and mom chuckles.
"Just because you bought me a car doesn't mean I'll allow you
to turn my child into a drunkard like you" my mom jokes and we
laugh
"Mom I'm not a drunkard, please girl respect me" I say and we
all take pictures,laugh,dance until it's time for me to go. I bid
goodbye to my favourite people and they both wish me
goodluck. I had an awesome day,it's 6pm when I arrive home.
The door is unlocked,I know for a fact that Sandile is already
waiting. I enter and yes I was right,the man acts like he doesn't
have a girlfriend and a child. I smile,he smiles
"You did it?" is the first thing he asks
"Yessss" I scream. He stands up and hugs me. I take a 10 minute
shower and dry myself. I lotion and wear a simple powder blue
boyfriend jean with a white polo neck and white Converse
tekkies. I also wear a belt because yey baby girl has been at the
gym lately and the waist is getting smaller while the ass is
getting bigger. I wear my half power blue Jean jacket. Today I
took off my weave and I just tied my hair into a high bun. I did
my eyebrows and put some mascara on my lashes with some
clear lipgloss. I head out rolling my suitcase. Would you believe
me if I told you I packed today in the morning?that's how much
I hate packing
"Finally" Sandile says as I get out of my room smelling ever so
good. We leave for the airport and Sandile has got his own jet
so we're covered. It's just my crew and I so there's like 5 of us. I
left Buhlebendalo behind and I won't see my pumpkin for 3
months. We're basically going overseas to have a tour there,we
should have a South African tour yazi. We're going to be going
to Niston,Brimfonville,West Bengal,Ashton and Showland. It's
going to be a long three months but also fun. I'll miss home.
They tell us to wear our seatbelts and off we go. I'm drinking
water the whole time because I'm scared of heights by the way.
Here we come America.
47
Siyamu's pov:
I finally have the strength to take a tissue and wipe all the
mucus and tears on my face. I take off my airpods and switch off
my phone. Slowly,I make my way to the bathroom. I strip my
clothes,one by one feeling drained by every movement. I take a
long,hot shower and it takes me about 30 minutes. I dry my
body and lotion after that. I stand infront of the mirror,fully
naked,looking at my body. I've been working out yes but I still
got that scar from the accident. I touch it remembering that
sometime this week I was due to give birth but since my babies
died,I won't. I wear black and white Dior tracksuits and my
Gucci flip flops,it's chilly outside. I'm still in America,it's been 2
whole months. I have a month left and I won't lie I miss home
but the crowds here are the best. Snothando calls weekly and
we talk for some time,he's also out of the country. Right now
he's in America but I don't know which city,I always forget to
ask him. I won't lie,I miss him.
I take my phone and plug in my airpods. I walk out of the hotel
playing Yebba's heartbreak by Drake. I turn back into the hotel
because I figured I left my purse. I enter my room,take my purse
and I head out again. I request the car that I've hired to take me
places while I'm here. Sandile and the crew are out drinking
because we're not working tonight. I was faking being sick and
they believed me because of my small puffy eyes and my red
nose from all the crying,but what they don't know won't hurt
them right? I make my way to a beauty spa and salon. I open
the door getting out while thanking the driver. As I enter,this
place screams money and my outfit just doesn't play the part.
Oh well,I'm lying my outfit is very expensive even though it's
just tracksuits and flip flops. I make my way to the receptionist's
desk
"Goodmorning ma'am,how may I help you?" she says not really
paying attention to me
"I don't know actually,I just dropped by to get something to
relax me and just get a manicure, pedicure and my hair done" I
say shrugging
"Do you have an appointment?"
"No,I really don't know anyone around here" I say and she takes
me to some guy who is busy on his phone. This place is
beautiful. The guy looks up and damn he is hot. He looks up
from his phone when the receptionist calls his name. Marvin I
keep on thinking
"Yes?" he answers not even throwing a glance my way. Why are
people here rude?
"Help this lady for me" she says and just walks away
"How can I help you?" he says giving me a bored expression
"Listen here Marvin" I say putting emphasis on his name " I've
just had a long ass day before it even started so you can take
your stinky attitude and put it in the bin because I won't
tolerate this bullshit"
By now everyone here is looking at us. Even Marvin is stunned
by my reaction.
"Is there something wrong here" says a voice I recognize. I turn
around and she's still as pretty as ever. She smiles and I do too.
We hug. "it's been so long"
"You're too busy for us angithi" I say pouting. She chuckles
"Khadijah,what are you doing here?" I ask
"I own this place"she says and I'm shocked. Knowing people
helps yazi cause now these bitches will never disrespect
me,ever again. Khadijah is one of the partners who volunteered
to help with Buhle's business until it gets back on its feet but
now that it is,a friendship formed so she wouldn't pull out. I'm
also a partner by the way. I invested money when the business
was crashing down. I also get money there so if I quit being a
Dj,I'll go into business.
"Come on now close your mouth" she says "let's go to the spa
and get you treated,you really need it" I sigh. Is it even visible
on my face?I give Martin a look while walking away. He's
probably speechless. We get to the spa part of this place and its
to die for. I'm given a glass of champagne and Khadijah set me
up in VIP. I go to the changing rooms and strip all of my clothes
leaving my underwear and put on the gown that has been given
to me. I also put on a towel around my hair. I haven't done
anything to it,no weave,no braiding,just my hair. I put my
clothes in a locker I was given and head back. After taking a few
mirror pictures which I send to Snothando captioned 'finally
putting your gift to use' I don't know what game I'm playing at
but I'm playing it. When I get to the girl assigned to me,soft
music is playing and she makes me lie down looking down on
that chair. This is comfy. She starts her thingy and her
massaging me is so relaxing. She does everything she's
supposed to and she touches everywhere where she's
supposed to.
She makes me sit upright now because she's about to do my
face. A doll walks in,a human doll. She's so petite,she has
blonde hair and blue eyes. Her jaw is shaped,unlike me. Her
nose seriously looks too pointy. She walks like a model. She sits
on the chair next to mine and looks at me
"Hi I'm Khloe and you must be the famous DJ my boyfriend is so
obsessed about" she says. I don't have time for her
"Maybe you should try to act human-like and maybe,just maybe
he'll be obsessed with you too"
"Baby girl,it looks like your shoes are too big for you. Let me fill
them for you. Snothando is mine and he is mine alone,you are
not in the picture little missy so I suggest you scatter off back to
which ever hole you emerged from okay?" she says like she's
talking a toddler
"Not every action needs a reaction" I say and she just gets
annoyed. I finish with my face thingy and I feel fresh. Now it's
time for my hair and nails. The lady takes me back to the salon
and I am seated infront of a mirror. Martin comes back and this
time he is smiling,what a fake smile
"Uhm sorry no,get away from me. I wouldn't want my hair
getting cut off now would I? please can I have someone else to
assign me" I say and another lady is assigned to me. She's black
and her afro is so pretty
"Thank you" she says. I clasp my mouth,did I say that out loud?I
blush. I show her the nails I want to do and how I want my
weave to look like. Another girl does my nails. We keep making
conversation throughout and it's fun. When they're done ,they
take pictures of me. I have on a black 16 inch weave of which
half is put up into a ponytail. I thank her and I go to the
reception to pay. Khloe follows right behind me,maybe she's
also obsessed with me. Khadijah makes her way to me
"Thank you for coming and I promise to visit SA so I can see you
and Buhle's pumpkin"
"She's the cutest,see you then" I say and she walks back into
her office waving goodbye. I pay and as I'm done,Khloe squeals.
I turn to her direction and it's Snothando,he looks at Khloe and
then me. My heart does the gwara gwara dance but my lips are
sealed. She hugs him tightly,kissing him after that and then she
comes and pays. Snothando makes his way to me and hugs
me,a long,very relaxing hug. I inhale his scent smiling,he still
smells so good
"I missed you" I whisper
"I missed you too" he whispers back into my ear making my
stomach do backflips. Khloe clears her throat. Snothando pulls
back and smiles. My face betrays me and I blush looking down.
Khloe takes Snothando by the hand and pulls him out of the
place. I follow shortly behind and my ride is already waiting for
me. It takes me back to the hotel. When I get there it's already
noon and I'm fucking hungry. I call room service and order some
steak,well done and a glass of white wine. After 15 minutes,I'm
already digging into my meal when a call comes in. It's him,it's
him
"Siya" he speaks
"Snothando" he chuckles cause I'm always calling him with his
full name
"Are you busy?"
"Uhm no,I was just eating"
"Please go out with me"
"Are you sure?after the whole Khloe saga"
"Don't worry about her,I'm single as of tonight"
"Alright,what should i wear?"
"Anything casual"
"Okay see you when you get here" I say and end the call. What
did he mean when he said he's single?ugh no tonight is about
having fun. I sigh getting off the bed thinking of the type of
might it'll be
48
Snothando's pov:
I walk into the kitchen,the walls are painted with blood but here
she is busy with breakfast looking so clueless. She looks back at
me and smiles. As I get closer to the pan she's holding,I realise
there's nothing but hot oil. A baby crawls on the kitchen island.
She walks over to the child and picks her up,the walls start going
back to their normal colour. The beautiful baby girl gives Siyamu
an egg and she puts the baby down,back on the kitchen island.
I'm still in one position,shocked at the sight before me.
Siyamthanda hums a lullaby and slowly the baby girl
disappears,she cracks the egg into the pan and frys it. She
plates the egg and as soon as she puts it down,I take it and run
away from her,eating the egg on my run...
I wake huffing and puffing. I look besides me and she's not in
bed anymore but I stop panicking when I hear the shower
running. I take my phone and check the time,it's 11am and
damn I have a banging headache. Yesterday was hectic hey.
After I fetched her we went to a club and met up with my
friends,I'm glad she enjoyed herself though. We ended up
sleeping at 6am because she was talking nonstop. Nothing
happened though lol. My phone rings and I answer
"Don't make a noise,I have a headache" I say and he laughs
"I don't care about you. How is the new mrs?" he asks and I'm
sure he's referring to Siyamu. They hit it off really good
yesterday and I love it when my girl is good with my best mate.
Well well well look at me, claiming a girl that isn't mine. Damn
I'm not even sure if she's going to agree to be my girlfriend
again
"Oh Mjoro mfanaka ungenza nje?(Mjoro my boy you're doing
this to me?)"
"Stop being a crybaby and wake up. How's your wound?" he
asks laughing. So yesterday I got into a fight because there was
a guy harrasing Siyamthanda
"I don't have wounds mina I'm a man"
She walks in looking all types of beautiful in yesterday's outfit.
No makeup,just her and well she had to use my body lotion and
stuff. I say my goodbyes to Mjoro and end the call. I still need to
call my mom to tell her, actually ask her about the dream.
"I really have to go now,I have work later on" she says while
packing all her things.
"Do you really want to go?you can stay longer if you want" after
I say the she looks at me with so much-i don't know what it is
but clearly she doesn't want to be here
"Why would I stay with you here? you'll just end up giving me
diseases because you go around sleeping with anything that
wears a skirt" she says rudely. I stand up from the bed, ignoring
the pain from my whole body.
"Get out before I do something I'll regret" I say pointing at the
door. She looks at me and I can't tell how she feels "I'll request a
driver to take you home, please get out..." she just stares at me
with her arms crossed
"I expected better from you. You're different from all the other
girls but now you're saying I have diseases?that's so low,even
for you"
I see tears falling and at this moment I'm very mad even if I
don't show it. I'm a very calm person and even though I like
explaining things in detail, I'm not a man of many words. As I sit
on the bed she sniffs. I look up at her and she's now crying,no
no I don't want her to cry. I look at the girl I once loved,grown
into a woman now and no cap I let my friends mislead me into
the lions den. I loved this girl but I was blinded by all the
material things in life. She slaps me out of my thoughts, didn't
know these little hands have potential. I stand up to be above
her but she slaps me again
"Sit down you freaking jerk!" she shouts. I sit down,what's
happening with me?
"You will leave me the hell alone,do not call me or text me.
When you see me,act as if I've never been under you screaming
your name. I cried because of you. I thought I was crazy and I
almost killed myself because of you,you're such a crazy bitch ass
liar" she chuckles "I loved you but you left me when I needed
you the most. You left me feeling like a worthless piece of junk.
You left me when life made no sense at all and you were my
only pillar of strength. I was losing friends damnit. You used to
say I'm fat and you liked me better when I was slimmer. Do you
know how messed up that shit you said made me!?you
promised me that even if we do break up, we'll respect each
other and not date each others friends but you were dating my
classmates and my friends just to show off while I was dealing
with depression because of you. Things were bad at home and
you left. Yes,I was never your responsibility but hell you
should've told me that you've found someone else-someone
better but no you just left me on blue tick and posted your new
girlfriend. She was so perfect unlike me,the perfect round
boobs and a perfect shaped ass,flat stomach and worst of all
she had an iPhone which you were fascinated by. When you left
for Johannesburg I didn't think you'd change,yes you loved
expensive things but your love for expensive things turned into
love for celebrities. Yes you did good and I'm proud of you,but
when that happened you also left the same friends that made
us break up. I was broken beyond repair. I still have my fucken
diary and now you just want to crawl back into my life to ruin it
again?uyagula wena ne" she wipes her mucus with the back of
her hand and I feel so guilty but I deserve this
"Siyamthanda look I'm-" she cuts me off
"No you're not,you're not sorry Snothando. You're doing this
again,you're trying to manipulate me just like you always do!it
won't work this time, I'm grown now and I've learnt my lesson.
Do you know how many times I tried to kill myself because
people were making fun of me when you left me?saying it's
because I'm fat and ugly. Where were you?where were you
when I cried myself to sleep?where were you when I blamed
myself for not being perfect?did you even realize how much you
broke me after you left. You used to tell me I had an ugly voice
while other people told me the exact opposite. You're such a
bitch. You left me feeling like I'm stupid and ugly,add fat to the
list.Not only that,that night the week after umemulo wami. I
won't lie,it was the best night of my life. I gave my innocence to
the boy I always dreamt of. I was never able to find another guy
because of you,you filled my head up with shit but you did what
you always do right?after breaking me you avoided me and told
me you love me but you went MIA on me. I'm so fucking glad
that I was able to get where I am today. Don't get me wrong,I'm
not forcing you to be with me. All you had to do was apologize
to me for all you've done. For all the lying and manipulating you
did to me. For all the things you made me do for you wazi kahle
kuthi I'm deeply inlove with you and I'd do anything for you.
People expected me to just forget about you,forget about 3
whole years of love! But I couldn't. I wish I had forgotten you
and started over and gotten a new first love. I love you
Snothando but if this is how love is supposed to make you
feel...then I don't want it" she finishes off going back to the
bathroom,to wash her face I think. I can't believe she's been
holding in so much. What have I done?she comes out of the
bathroom and looks at me once more,her eyes puffy from all
the crying
"This is goodbye and if you don't see me ever again,it's your
fault" she says and walks out before I can even utter a single
word. Wait,what did she mean when she said never see her
again?does she want to commit suicide? I quickly take a shower
and wear some chino pants and a tight, black muscle vest from
Nike. I put on my sleepers and walk out to my car. The press is
all over today,with the help of bodyguards I make it. I arrive at
her hotel and it isn't that hectic luckily. I had to bribe the lady at
reception for her room number. I hesitate to knock but I
eventually do. He opens the door,looking at me like he's willing
to kill me for free
"Ufunani la?(what do you want here?)" he asks probably mad
and I get it,he should be mad
49
Thandolwethu's pov:
"What should I wear?baby you are stressing me out" he says
changing for the 3rd time. I frown,he's being dramatic
"Andile it's just a dinner with my family, nothing much. You can
wear jeans and a t-shirt" I say walking to the bathroom
"I'll be wearing a dress for your information" he shouts from the
other side. Honestly speaking,I haven't been enjoying our
sexual intercourses. It feels so weird compared to the feeling I
got with women. I won't say it because I love him but truth is
that,it sucks! I shower and wear casually,as I said it's just a
dinner with my family. When I walk out smelling fresh as
ever,he gasps making me confused
"You're so hot baby mmmh,we deserve each other" I laugh at
his comment. He also looks breathtakingly beautiful in a white
shirt dress with some black sandals. He also has a weave on and
a doek on top. It's 2pm when we arrive in Joburg,at my parents
house. The whole car ride felt...weird. These days I feel like an
empty vessel,making the loudest noise but inside me. It's all
trapped inside me. The house isn't that packed,it's just my
family so there's about 7 cars here. We walk inside the house
hand-in-hand,all eyes on us.
"Thandolwethu mntanami(my child)" my mom turns to me
shocked. I thought dad told her,fuck man.
"Mom,this is my boyfriend Andile and Andile this is mom" I
introduce the two with Andile smiling widely
"Thando manyala mani lawa owaletha lana endlini? (what
bullshit are you bringing home?)" She shouts at the top of her
lungs
"What a disgrace!" one of my uncles says shaking his head
"The city has ruined this child" another uncle says
"But mom I'm happy with him"I defend myself
"You are nyapy?nyapy my foot Thando do you hear me!? Not
the son I birthed,over my fine,dead body!" why is my mom
acting like this? My dad appears behind my mom and I hope
he'll make her see reason
"Sisi it's time" he says looking at one of my aunts who are all so
shocked that they can't even speak. She nods,time for what?
Snothando runs to me
"Daddy you're here" she shouts and Andile squeals. Snothando
hugs me tightly and I do too. It's been so long since I've seen
her. I kiss her forehead
"Daddy who is this?" She asks curiously,looking at Andile.
"Princess this is my bo-" I get cut off by mom calling her
"Go play with the other kids nana,they said they're waiting for
you" she says. What is going on here? Dad comes towards me
and pulls me to the passage,Andile is right behind me. I grab his
hand and drag him with me. We end up in my parents room,it's
me,my aunt,Andile,Dad and the twins. The twins were sent to
'help' me. I really do not know with what. I'm so confused. Dad
closes the door.
"Kwenzakalani lana baba?(what is happening here dad?)" I ask.
"Hlala phansi bese ngizokutshela kahle (sit down so I can tell
you properly)" he replies. After that Bayanda and Ntokozo
enter,my heart stops beating a little. I know if anything were to
happen they'll help me. My brother's look rather disappointed. I
pull the two chairs I found here for Andile and I. Mom and dad
have never had chairs in their room except the couch. Dad sits
on the couch along with my aunt. Someone holds me from
behind,I look behind me to find Ntokozo holding me tight and
as I try to move Bayanda is already wrapping the rope around
me and damn it hurt. You know those ropes they use to tie
goats?yes that one. I try to move but it's hopeless. I look
besides me and Andile is standing there crying
"Sit down now before I slap the witchcraft out of you" Bayanda
shouts directly at Andile. He sits down,they tie him up too and
fire just rages in me. That's the love of my life
"Could someone have the decency to tell me what is going
on!?" I half shout because I'm getting impatient. Andile keeps
on sniffing here and it's annoying me now. Ntokozo holds my
cheeks, opening my mouth by force whilst my aunt makes me
drink something that tastes like water and sand. I stop drinking
when I feel something grass-like in my mouth. I spit it out and
they carry on making me drink,I'm not even fighting anymore.
That's the last thing I remember before waking up with Princess
in my arms,I gently push her off me and rush to the bathroom. I
vomit until I can't anymore. I brush my teeth, I was in my room
by the way. The one in my parents house. I get in the shower
because I'm not sure how many days I've been passed out. I say
days because my clothes have been changed and they smell
fresh. I take a 20 minute shower and walk back to my
bedroom,Princess isn't in bed anymore. This child and waking
up early. I wear shorts and a long sleeve t-shirt and now I can't
find my shoes...mmh,it's probably Bayanda,he likes wearing my
shoes. I just decide to walk barefoot. As I walk out my bedroom
door,my feet take me to the bathroom again.
Vomit,vomit,vomit. What's happening with me? I rinse my
mouth and walk out to the kitchen,I'm so hungry
Mom looks at me and smiles,her smile as beautiful as always. I
greet and she greets back. We make small talk here and
there,she's making porridge. Today I feel so different,I don't
feel...again,I'm in the toilet, vomiting my lungs out. I walk back
to the kitchen after rinsing my mouth and I find the whole
family there talking. I hug Lihle and Sne. I guess my aunts and
uncles left because of how quiet it is here. The kids come
running in
"Did I not say no running in the house?" my mother warns. They
don't even look fazed by what she's saying
"Sorry Gogo" they say in unison. They come give us all hugs,I
love how they get along
"Kids,go help your aunt's set up the table" dad says. They run
off with Lihle and Sne dragging their feet behind them
"Now I know you're wondering what happened" dad speaks
after they have left. I nod. "So uAndile mfana wami
ubekuthakathile. Ukufakele umuthi kuthi uthande yena yedwa
futhi wasebenza kahle ngoba ukwazile ukukuhlukanisa nale
ntombazane uSiyamthanda wase wabulala nengane yenu" I'm
so confused but Siyamu had a miscarriage because of the
accident,could it be...?
"Is that why I felt so trapped in my own body?" I asked. He
nods. Mom starts dishing up the porridge
"I saw that everytime you looked so out of it you know?like you
weren't in our world. You also did things impulsively and that's
not you,you always think things through. So I told dad about it
and we went to a traditional healer who gave us the herbs you
drank to flush out wonke lo muthi Andile made you drink"
Ntokozo says
"uSiyamthanda bafo? ungishiye ngempela?(she really left me?)"
"Unfortunately yes" he replies. I just sigh,I know that she's with
that asshole wherever she is. Where to from here?I really love
this woman and I can't let her go just yet.
50
If you feel like you're losing everything,just remember that trees
lose their leaves every year but they always stand tall and wait
for better days to come ~unknown
Siyamu's pov:
"Siyamthanda, please wait up" he calls from behind me as I
make my way to the VIP area,just to greet some of the guests
after my performance. I turn around and he's carrying a basket.
Great!just great. What is that for?I really ain't in the mood for
Snothando. I've still got a week to head back home
"Can you just wait a minute. You can't just pitch up in the
middle of my work hour and want to talk to me,call me and I'll
try to squeeze you in my schedule. By the way I don't need your
generosity,I have enough money to take care of myself" I say to
him before heading towards a group of gentlemen,my
bodyguards are right by my side because being in a foreign
country is really dangerous for me.
"Siyamu!" Their deep voices echoe in unison. I just smile and
wave at them. They get up to hug me and their girlfriends or
wives I assume arrive and give me some pretty smiles. "We just
wanted to say that people that know good music and are good
company deserve more of this" one of them says giving me a
stack of 20 dollar notes. That's a lot in South Africa I'm sure.
"Let's take pictures then!" One of the girls says. Demanding me
actually,not asking
"Oh my god this is so much money,thank you" I say smiling so
hard trying to hide the way Snothando has irritated me. We
take pictures and I head off to another table to get more tips. I
love this,making other people feel what I feel when I listen to
music. Unfortunately for me,money can't buy happiness. I step
into the car making myself comfortable,Sandile does too
"Did you see how much money we made from tips only?" I say
to him. He grins
"I'm just glad nobody was trying their luck on you today" we
laugh about that. Literally every gig,there's always people trying
to get my number and when I say people I mean girls too.
Yes,the lesbians
"Why didn't you close the door idiot?" I jokingly say to Sandile
"Because I want you to stop running away from your problems
and face them. You're going to be okay" he says patting my
shoulder while walking out along with the driver. What is going
on? Snothando steps in the car,oh so these are my problems?
He sits making himself comfortable
"Nobody told you to sit" I say,yes I'm petty like that. He looks at
me with that 'do not start' look. I keep quiet facing the other
way
"Siyamthanda please stop ignoring me,I've tried calling and
texting you"
"Yeah I know,what do you want?I'm a very busy woman"
"For you to forgive me" he says cupping my face with his hands.
I remove his hands roughly. I wonder where all this anger is
surfacing from
"I've forgiven you so many times,it's enough now"
"Please" he says pouting. He pulls my face closer to his and
kisses me roughly. I push him away
"No Snothando, please leave me the fuck alone. Don't you get
it?I don't want this,I'm not your slut"
"Then be my girlfriend"
"No"
"Then what do you want!?" He half shouts getting impatient.
He's a very calm person so it means I've hit the wrong button
"manje nawe ulibele ufuna ngikuncenge,mxm fuseg(so now you
want me to beg you,mxm get lost)" he says going out
"And then he says he's changed,mxm" I mumble to myself.
Sandile comes back with the driver and one of the bodyguards
and we're off to our hotel. When I get to my room,I call room
service and order a chicken burger and a chocolate milkshake. I
keep myself busy with watching National Geographic, channel
182. The channel where there's animals playing,yeah that one. I
love this thing,it's so interesting. Have I ever told y'all I'm an
animal lover?well I am. After 15 minutes or so the food arrives. I
dig in and I just be busy with my Instagram since the show
becomes a bit boring. I scroll looking at posts and liking them. A
notification catches my attention
'Snothando.G is live' well curious me presses on the live video
to watch it. He's teaching boys how to dribble a ball and
apparently later on he has news he needs to share. I don't know
whether it's because he's looking hella fine without a shirt or
I'm really interested in just seeing him dribble that ball just like
how he dribbled my heart.
"Baby come here so we can tell them the good news!" he
shouts while sitting down. Who's baby?Khloe appears and to
say I'm not surprised is an understatement. I feel like I wanted
him to change just so I can have closure. Just to be sure that he
really didn't leave me because I'm ugly,fat and boring but I
guess now I know the truth. Her body is so amazing,the slimmer
you are for Snothando,the better and well for me,I'm just fat.
"Thank you guys for the support and mostly to my woman for
supporting me in everything I do" he says and gives her a peck.
So I was just a joke to him? Am i a joke? I didn't even hear what
the announcement was "Ballon'Dor here I come" he finally says.
He was nominated?oh my fucken gosh. I leave the live and I
carry on watching TV. It's not even like I'm watching,I'm thinking
of this man. I wonder how Thando is where ever he is. Is he
even happy? You know what they say, curiosity killed the cat
but my curiosity killed my confidence
I assume I fell asleep because I wake up in a very unpleasing
position. I stretch and then check the time. It's 6am, perfect
timing. I shower and wear my gym clothes with my tekkies. I get
a knock on my door. Sandile peeks in before I can even tell him
to come in. Talk about an invasion of privacy
"I was about to wake you up" he says. Trust me I knew that "but
since you look ready let's go then" I get up taking my water
bottle and phone, plugging in my earpods. Let's go jog!
51
Bayanda's pov:
"Thando bro just call her, she'll answer cause she'll think it's
me" I tell him for the 100th time now.
"But she'll hang up if she finds out it's me"
"Now how do you know she'll hang up?" I ask because clearly
he's just overthinking
"I know her phela mina,she was once mine. I mean she's
actually mine,she just doesn't know it yet" he says proudly
"Iheeh who would've thought. The whole Thandolwethu
Sangweni scared to call a girl?" I laugh after that. He rolls his
eyes. My phone rings in his hands. I take it from him. I answer
the call smiling
"Baby" is the first thing I say and Thando looks at me about to
burst out in laughter.
"Hey Yanda" she says sounding rather down. She calls me Yanda
just like Siyamu
"What's wrong sthandwa se nhliziyo ka Bayanda?"
"You know I miss you right?" she asks sniffing
"Baby I've only been gone for 2 days" I tell her. She just breaks
down crying and I start panicking
"I'm coming there now, please don't cry. Baby I'm coming
okay,I'm booking a flight now" I tell her before hanging up.
Lwandile has got me by the balls,not in a bad way though.
Yes,you heard right. It's Lwandile Nyathi, remember her from
the trip to Joburg?that's my girl
"You have a girlfriend boy boy?" asks ugly old Thandolwethu
Sangweni
"Atleast I'm not scared to call a girl" well after saying that I was
expecting him to run after me,wanting to hit me but he just sat
there and sighed.
"Give me your phone" he demands
"Woah easy tiger and make it snappy,I want to book a flight"
"Must be nice being a working man" he says taking my phone.
Yes,I'm working now at Dhlongolo Accountants,which is a
company for accountants, chartered accountants,etc. I got in by
my dad,his friend owns the place so it was really a quick thing. I
bet they didn't even look at my CV.
"Yanda,you finally called me"I hear Siyamu say bringing me out
of my thoughts. He actually called her,he's been scared for days.
Lol
"It's not him...uhm it's me,hi" he says
"Who is me?" she asks and I almost laugh
"Come on Siyamthanda,I know you know it's me.
Thandolwethu"
"No"
"No what?I haven't even said anything"
"Whatever you want to say Ndo,the answer is no" she replies
"Siyamthanda I just wanted to check on you,nothing more"
"Oh I see you've vomited the love potion,good for you. Too bad
I'm taken now" there is utter silent before Thando ends the call
"That went quite well" I say trying to ease the tension
"Let's just go!" he angrily says and storms off. Well he has no
right to be mad at me,I didn't do anything. I book my flight
while on my way to his car. We're in Joburg,our parents house.
He starts the car as soon as I get seated. The whole ride is
quiet,with soft music playing. We finally arrive and he parks
infront of the slaughter house after what feels like hours. Before
I can open the door he speaks
"Bayanda,I was angry at the world,the universe took my
soulmate away from me and she's moving on happily without
me" he says. Is it so hard to say sorry?
"I don't care about your explanations,all I wanted was an
apology"
"Sorry" he says lowly
"What was that?I can't hear you"
"Sorry bro. I'll never shout at you again" after he says that,I just
nod. We both walk inside greeting the guards outside. We
finally make it to his room and the guards open up for us,letting
us in while the lights are being turned on. In the far corner,he
flinches adjusting to the light. We just stand there watching
each other,rage visible from my brother's face. Andile?he just
looks pissed,he has some nerve. The staring contest is ended by
dad walking in.
"Bafana bami(my boys)" he says
"Sho tymer" I respond and Thando just nods. "Let's get the
game started"
I tie the shivering Andile onto a steel chair,he doesn't even fight
anymore. His shirt torn in multiple places,stained with his
blood,left eye swollen and purple,scars on his cheeks. He looks
up and Thando laughs before punching him on his stomach
"Ready to talk?" he asks Andile. Andile keeps quiet
"Wrong move Andza" I say watching what is about to unfold.
Dad grabs a chair sitting down,old age is playing with him.
Thando fetches a bucket of boiling water,he pours the whole
thing on Andile. His screaming falls onto deaf ears.
"You still ain't gonna talk?" Dad asks,his voice laced with
sarcasm. He starts crying and mucus makes its way down to his
mouth. He sniffs
"That's disgusting" Thando says before taking a hammer,
throwing it on his neck,skull,he even breaks a finger or two.
Andile screams out of pain. Blood makes its way out of his nose
and mouth as he coughs."This seems too light for you" he takes
out his sjambok,long and black. He whips Andile on his head,his
thighs and face
"I'm sorry,I'm so sorry, please let me go" he shouts
"You should've thought about the consequences before
bewitching me"
He beats him for about 3 more minutes before Andile decides
to scream "it was Ntando!" and Thando stops.
"What did you say?" Dad asks
"Ntando was mad that you put him in a wheelchair so he
decided to take away the woman you loved most"
"Next stop from his wheelchair is his grave" Thando says
throwing multiple punches on Andile's stomach. He unties
Andile,to say Andile was happy is an understatement. "Thank
you so much,God will bless you" he says. Little did he
know...Thando grabs him by his arm walking out while me and
dad follow behind. Dad said we shouldn't do anything,this is
Thando's battle. We walk into another room and there's a big
plastic tank here,too bad it isn't just any tank. It has worms,not
just any worms. Blood suckers,this will be fun
"Any last words?" Thando asks
"Keep her,she's a real dime" he says before Thando walks him
up the stairs and throwing him into the tank full of these killer
worms. He tries to swim out but fails. We watch him die,slowly.
They head off to other prisoners but I must be on my way now,I
get one of our drivers to drive me home so I could get my
luggage and then to the airport. I board after 5 minutes of
waiting,the whole flight I was restless thinking of my baby. I
arrive in Cape Town after 2 hours and rush to her apartment. I
knock,left myself in since nobody is answering. I find her asleep
in her room,I sigh. I wonder what's eating her up. I put my
suitcase in the lounge before making my way to the bathroom
to pee. When I'm done,I wash my hands but something catches
my eye. I take the box out of the bin,home pregnancy test. I
open inside and find a test with two lines and I wonder what it
means. I read all the instructions on the box and she's pregnant.
Oh fuck I'm going to be a dad. I put it back inside the bin and
walk out taking my jacket off and snuggling closer to her. She's
frightened by my cold hands but recovers when she sees me
"Hello mommy bear" I whisper to her and she smiles.
"How are you papa bear?" she replies
"I'm over the moon that there's going to be a little bear"
"How did you find out?" She asks shocked
"Bathroom bin, pregnancy test"
"Well let me show you how much mama bear and little bear
missed you" she says kissing me. I'm complete,this is all I've
ever wanted.
52
Siyamu's pov:
Under the blue sky,it's a sunny day and guess where I'll be
djaying?at the beach, yes finally. It's an all white beach party
sponsored by Castle Lager. The tickets were R350 for general
and R600 for VIP. We're in Eastern Cape for the weekend. I
wear a white open back,v-neck,one piece swimming costume
pairing it with white,transparent flowy pants. I also wear my
white push in's from Cotton On. My nipples are such show offs.
I did my nails yesterday and now they're white designed with
black flowers. I tie my straight back into a bun,it's black in
colour and damn it looks good. No make up today,I blantly
refused when Sandile was trying to convince me. The tattoo of
my dad on my back,out on full display. I miss him sometimes
you know,22 years later and I can still feel the pain.
When we arrive at the beach called Nobuntu beach,I take
pictures in the water,on the sand. I love nature. Sandile joins
my little photoshoot. I didn't force him by the way,lol. Okay
why am I getting wet before my gig?weird I know. Some people
ask to take pictures with me and I do. I go back to our work car
and mix Ice Tropez with Hennessy,lol I wanna drink my
problems away. It's nice though. After mixing it,in it goes into
my water bottle which I use to make people think I'm drinking
water. Smart right?I know,thank you. I take my 'water
bottle',Sandile and the guards escort me to stage. They set
everything up for me which is nice. My job is really hard,people
think you just get up and go touch things and make 10k but it's
not like that. You have to practice,study each crowd and you
have to smile at the camera even if you're not in the mood.
Also it's hard being a woman in our industry because there's a
lot of males and most managers are males. Some Dj's who are
women only made it because the managers saw "beauty" in
them and their actions weren't genuine. With me,Sandile was
also like that at first but now he treats me like his little sister.
He just saw a brat that will make him money
"Can you feeeeel ittttt!?" the amapiano song beams through
the speakers
"Yeeeeeeboooooo!!!" the crowd responds. Then the beat drops
and it resurfaces again louder and better than the last second.
This goes on for 4 hours with no break. I want to pee so bad
now,all the alcohol that I've been drinking isn't doing me any
justice. As I get off stage with the help of my guards
again,Sandile walks towards us with the host. Anthony
Mthiyane. He's such a fine young gentleman.
"Our very own DJ Superwoman" he comments as we hug. I
giggle politely because you know the girls that laugh like a
generator?yes,I'm one of them
"Hello to you too Anthony" I say with a smirk
"How are you?oh damn. I really just wanted to thank you for
coming through today,four hours ain't no man's joke. Let me do
this before we get any further" he says typing on his phone.
After a while I receive a notification. '+R17500 into savings
account. Avail:R14 456780.Ref: Anthony Mthiyane'
"Thank you once again,it truly is a pleasure to be here and to
perform. The crowd was...amazing!" we laugh because
everyone knows I just love Xhosa people with their drama
"The dramatics. Anyways please do sit down in the VIP guys, it's
still going to be a fun night" he says leading us to the VIP area.
We get there and it's an open area which is a bit secluded from
the general section but the view here is breathtaking. The
music is also loud this side so I won't have a problem. Sandile
and I find a table,I rush off to the bathroom because oh well me
being me. As I'm walking back I spot a familiar face,uThapelo,
Thando's best friend. I walk right past their table acting as if I
don't see my man with his big head. okay well not my man but
it's Ndo. I've missed him so much. Back at our table,Buhle has
arrived and they're kissing here like nobody is in the room
"Uhm hello to you too Buhlebendalo" I say after clearing my
throat dramatically.
"Hey best,I've missed you so much" she says before jumping up
to hug me and kiss my cheek. Weird,I know but she's my best
friend so what will I say? Ayibo what's that on her finger?I grab
her hand before she sits down again,a diamond ring just sitting
there.
"So best,he went down on one knee" she squeals,this is us
jumping up and down
"And you said yes!" I finish her sentence off for her. Sandile just
chuckles sitting right there. Some people come and ask for
pictures,can't I just enjoy a normal night out?there's no normal
in my life anymore.
Wandile,uncle waffles joins us along with Khadijah and two of
Sandile's friends. The vibes are good and alcohol is flowing,but
am I really happy? deep down I just want to love and be loved.
"Just look at her with that fake ass" Wandile says making us
laugh. It's Annie Stewart,the bitch who went to Twitter saying I
can't DJ to save my life. I stand up with Buhle,Wandile and
Khadijah following behind,their heels clicking against the floor
even if you couldn't hear it because of the loud music. We get
to her table,full of these fake bitches. She smirks when she
finally acknowledges our presence.
"Well well well,what do we have here?" she says directed to
her friends or whoever she's sitting with
"Listen here girly,angisuye untanga wakho mina,uyezwa yini?(I
am not your age mate,you hear me?)" I tell her ever so calmly
"She says she's not your age mate" her friend translates for her
because uhm obviously she's white and stupid too. She laughs
and we just stare back at her. She gets up with all her girls,well
she's taller than me because of the heels but that doesn't make
me flinch
"Was I lying?you get up there and do nonsense" she says and I
click my tongue. I can't hit her,that's my reputation "oops did I
step on your fat little toes" she says covering her mouth
dramatically
"If she's fat then you're skinny" Buhle says backing me up.
White girl laughs and I smile, a sick smile for that matter
"You're going to regret making people laugh at me you know"I
say coldly with that smile
"You're a psychopath,you fat hoe! And if you think you're
sending chills down my spine,just forget it because you're not!"
she shouts, pointing at me with her rotten fingers. "Let's go
girls" she says and they follow her like lost puppies
"Sorry Siyamu,is there a problem here?" Anthony asks
"No,not at all" I respond
"Can I have a word with you privately?" He asks. What is this
about?the girls leave before Sandile appears
"Is there a problem here?" Sandile asks
"Siyamu I know that you are famous and you're rich but you
can't chase away my clients like that" Anthony says,wasn't he
nice?
"I didn't chase her away though,she left on her own"
"I'm going to have to ask you to leave if you're going to harass
my clients. Famous or not,we are making money here. We're
not running a circus" he says, demanding me to leave. He's just
going to make me crazy
"Do you know what she did!?" I shout at him,also poking him
"Ma'am please calm down" a bouncer says,when did he get
here?
"No! Okay,no! I'm not going to fucken calm down because you
don't know what she did yet it's my fault?" I ask them. Buhle is
now here
"Siyamu don't do this here" Sandile says
"Please Mawande,not here" Buhle also begs me. Anthony walks
away after asking these bouncers to escort us out.
"Don't touch me,if you do,I'll chop your penis and dig a grave
for it" I tell the bouncer pointing at him,leaving him petrified. I
walk over to our table
"So where are we going to go now?" Buhle asks clearly still
wanting to have fun
"Let's just go to the actual beach, we'll get abo malume to get
us camp chairs and snacks" I say
"And more alcohol" Khadijah says making us laugh. We walk
out with eyes on us,our eyes connect,like the first time we met.
He still looks so handsome with his beard trimmed perfectly
and his lips oh gosh. Okay,okay tooo far now. We walk out to
the beach,taking pictures while waiting on the guards with our
things. People keep coming and coming asking for a
picture,some guy even asked for my number. When the guards
come back with the chairs,towels and beach umbrella,we set
up with lots of booze going around. We don't need music this
time around because the conversation is flowing,right now I
feel so left out because uWandile here found herself a
boyfriend. One of Sandile's friends,Menzi.
"San'bonani(greetings)" the voice I know too well but haven't
heard in a while says. Everyone greets back except me. I look up
at him and he has his hands in his pockets
"Thando,my broer(brother)" Sandile says as he stands up to bro
hug him
"It's been a long time" Thando says
"Angithi wena neh meddie yakho ni on and off (isn't it you and
your girlfriend are on and off)" he says. Ahh how can
he?Sandile uzokulahla infront of people
"Ngize ngaye ke lana,ngizocela ukukhuluma naye.(I have come
here about her,I would like to talk to her)" he tells Sandile. It's
the respect for me
"Ahy you can take her,as long as she agrees. I know she's in
good hands" Sandile replies. I stand up fixing myself
"I'll be back guys" I say and they just nod,Buhle is wiggling her
eyebrows though,this girl. I almost face palm myself
"Let's go then" I whisper rubbing my bare feet in the warm
sand. He takes my hand as we stroll on the sides of the beach. A
few minutes of silence pass by,with me constantly checking the
time on my phone. Our hands entwined the whole time
"Are you okay?" he breaks the silence with his question. I nod.
"I saw what happened back there,you know I could always kill
that guy for you" making me laugh with his statement
"No it's honestly fine, he'll get what's coming for him" I say
"Siyamthanda it wasn't my fault but I'm sorry" he says as he
stops walking,kneeling with one knee on the sand,with both his
hands holding mine "we've been through so much together the
past two years and I regret not being there for you when you
lost our child but please look me in the eye and tell me you see
the difference. Don't you see that I've vomited all the things
that boy fed me and there's only space for you in my heart. I
know words mean nothing but please let me back into your life
to show you that I still deserve that chance" the whole time
he's looking into my eyes and I can't look him in the eye,I'll cry.
I've missed him so much "you don't know how much I've
missed you baby,even princess asks about you all the time. She
misses her mom,she's 9 now and she's growing up fast. I want
you to be there for all of it. Please let me back in" he finally
stops talking.
"Get up" I tell him
"Am I forgiven?" he asks
"Get up so I can show you" he does as told and I wrap my arms
around his neck,kissing the living daylights out of him
"I thought we'd take things slow" he says making me laugh,still
in his hold. His arms firmly around my waist, clinging me to
himself
"This girl don't go slow" he chuckles "I just missed you a lot and
I'm so glad you're back to your old self but the things you said
to me" I shake my head not wanting to remember "they were
painful
"Let's start on a new slate" he says
"I thought you were proposing" I say making him laugh his tiny
ass off "Ice cream date?" I ask
"Sure,why not?" He steals a peck making me laugh. I look at
him while he talks, admiring God's creation. I commend him,he
created a walking caramel cake. The Bible says we must forgive
those who have done wrong unto us as we would love want to
be forgiven, besides I know that Andile used witchcraft on my
man. Cheers,to new beginnings.
53
Siyamu's pov:
I'm a moaning mess,I arch my back as I feel that wave of mushy
goodness about to wash over me. My legs shake violently as I
come but the man thrusts through my orgasm until he shoots
his seed inside me a few minutes later, his big self collapsing on
top of me after pulling out
"Ngiyakuthanda njalo maMshengu" he says kissing my cheek.
I'm not the blushing type okay but when you pull that clan
name shit on me?I'm all yours,kidnap me
"Nami ngyakuthanda sthandwa sami" he chuckles because it's
highly rare for me to call him with pet names. He's my dawg,my
homeboy,I love the best friend relationship we have. It's been
three beautiful months since we've been back together and
we're slowly approaching summer. It's the second week of
November and next week is my birthday. I'm not even looking
forward to it,I'll be working
"Let's go take a shower,after that I want us to talk" he says
getting up,I spank his fine ass "ayibo Siyamthanda,yimi indoda
lana(I'm the man here)" oh my gosh,my poor man looks so
confused that I laugh as he looks at me weirdly. I get up while
he runs off into the shower,I make the bed and join him in a not
so innocent shower. He said and I quote "my name and
innocent don't add up"
"So what did you want to talk about?" I ask as I sit on the couch,
curiosity killing me
"Would you lower the volume please?these women are too
loud" I laugh because he just doesn't like my series. I actually
pause because I can't miss even one bit and he sounds serious
so it must be important.
"Siyamthanda cela ungibuke mangikhuluma nawe(please look
at me when I'm talking to you)" he says softly making me turn
to him,giving him all my attention. He starts by sighing "I lied to
you"
"About what?" I'm so confused. What is he talking about?
"Siyamthanda my family was never poor. I have never even
once felt like I needed anything more. We always had whatever
we wanted. I lied to you" he stops expecting me to answer him
but I just can't speak now "I didn't do it because I wanted to.
My dad introduced me to this business and it is now a family
thing,even my mother is involved. I'm so sorry I lied to you,I'll
never lie to you again. As you said,it's new beginnings so I didn't
want us to start off with lies" he continues,his voice
unrecognisable,it's almost as if he forced himself into telling me
"But why?" I ask looking at him straight in the eye " why did you
lie to me?this isn't making any sense!what about umama ka
Snothando?" I lose patience,wanting to know everything at
once
"I was scared you'd leave me like Londi but now you're here and
I see a future with you. As much as I want to know all of you,I
also don't want to hide anything from you. Londi left because
she felt like our relationship and the baby was slowing her
down,she said she was destined for greater things" he says. I
stand up attempting to leave
"Siyamthanda!" his voice now stern "do you want to be with me
or not?stop playing games with me and acting immature. I need
someone strong,not someone who will up and leave everytime
things get hard. Are you in or are you out?"
"You know I love you right?"
"Yes,I know baby" he replies
"Then please don't lie to me again" he stands up and attacks me
with a hug. He sits down and pulls me ontop of his lap
"Time to watch cartoons!" I say excited. He looks at me with the
'not again' look
"No, pleaseee" he begs as I laugh,changing the channel while at
it
•••
It's late January and I'm in Newcastle,this time at my father's
home
"No we're taking my car" my brother says rolling his eyes at me.
"Could we just go?" my sister says chuckling. We head off to the
car with my grandmother,my father's mother. She's still alive
and walking till this day. We're on our way to visit our father's
last resting place. The radio plays Masithokoze by Mafikizolo.
We all start singing along
"Masithokoze sthandwa sami,mina nawe siqed'iminyaka.
Masithokoze sthandwa sami, ngoba mina nawe siqed'iminyaka"
that's us singing to the song
"Yazi ubab'wakho ubelithanda njani leliculo?(you know how
your dad loved this song?)" gogo says. I love her so much
"Yeah this was his favourite song" Nomfundo comments. I smile
because I may not have a single memory of him but he lives
through his family
"Mina nje ngibona yena eshayela la(I just see him driving here)"
I say and we all laugh. My brother is the one driving,he looks so
much like dad when he was younger you'd swear it's him. We
arrive at the graveyard and make our way to his grave. It's so far
because he died so long ago. When we get there I can feel
myself getting sadder by the second. I place the fresh flowers
on his tombstone, removing the fainted ones. We kneel next to
his tombstone,two people on each side. Gogo starts talking as
the rest of us remove the dirt and the grass growing next to his
tombstone
"Tshabalala,Mshengu, Donga lukamavuso, Sidwaba sika
Luthuli.(Tshabalala clan names)Bongani mntanami ngize lana
namhlanje ngoba ngilethe naba abantwana bakho. Bonke
basuka kude bazokuvakashela, ngiyabonga mntanami kuthi
usasi bhekile lapha ekhaya. Umuzi usamile,siyabonga ngalokho.
Uqhubeke ke mntanami ukusibhekelela singu mndeni
wakho,sengizo dedela abantwana bakho bakhulume
manje(Bongani my child I have come here today because I have
brought your children. All of them travelled long distances to
visit you,thank you my child for looking out for us at home. The
house is still standing,we thank you for that. Carry on then my
child looking out for us as your family,now I will let your
children talk)"
"Tshabalala, Mshengu Donga lukamavuso, Sidwaba sika Luthuli"
we all say before gogo stands up to go back to the car,to give us
space I guess.
"Baba mina bengisacela ukukubonga ukuthi usihlanganisile
singabantwana bakho emva'kweskhathi eside singazani. Baba
ngithanda ukubonga no msebenzi ongiphe wona,sengishadile
njengoba wazi futhi ngijabulile ngiyabonga baba
ngalokho,wangigadela nabazukulu bakho ngaso sonke iskhathi.
Cela uqhubeke ukusigada baba,sikuthanda kakhulu(dad I would
like to thank you for bringing us together as your children after
a long time of not knowing each other. Dad I would also love to
thank you for the job you gave me,I am married as you know
and I'm happy,thank you dad for that. You have also protected
your grandchildren at all times. Please carry on protecting us
dad,we love you a lot)" Nomfundo says,making me more
emotional but I won't cry now
"Baba nami ngisacela ukubonga umsebenzi,nasemshadweni
ngijabulile. Ingane zami ziphephile kuze kube inamhlanje,nami
ngihlale ngiphephile. Cela uqhubeke ke baba ukusigada(dad I
would also like to thank you for my job,I am happy in my
marriage. My children are safe till today,I'm also safe. Please
carry on protecting us)" Sbusiso says making me feel like-
awkward because the only thing I'll be thanking is life,my job
and my siblings. I'm not married nor have kids so...
"Baba mina ngisacela ukubonga usis wami omdala,noh bhuti
wami omdala,mangibuka bona ngibona wena. Into engijabulisa
kabi ngoba angikwazi,wahamba ngisemncane. Ngithanda
ukubonga umsebenzi wami,engiwuthanda kakhulu. Baba
ngikukhumbula malanga onke ngoba mangibuka esibukweni
ngibona wena. Iskhathi esiningi ngiyakhala ngoba kubhlungu
kimi kuthi awusekho emhlabeni(dad I would like to thank you
for my older sister and my older brother,when I look at them I
see you. Something that makes me really happy because you
left when I was really young. I would like to thank you for my
job,that I love so much. Dad I miss you everyday because when I
look in the mirror I see you. Most of the time I cry because it
hurts me that you're no longer with us)" the whole time I'm
talking I'm looking down,the tears are now falling freely.
Nomfundo rubs my back gently. I sniff before I continue " baba
mina ngicela ukuthula empilweni yami,ngicela ukujabula nami.
Ngicela impilo yami igcwale injabulo(dad I ask for peace in my
life,I ask to also be happy. I ask for my life to be filled with
happiness)" I couldn't hold it in as I hail loudly covering my
eyes. Sbusiso is by my side in a matter of seconds. He's now
hugging me tightly,kissing my forehead over and over again,
Nomfundo rubbing my back gently. It takes me a few more
minutes to stop crying and we just tand there enjoying the
breeze,still in the same position. We end up heading home
where there's always a celebration and alcohol. We've been
drinking since we came back and having lots of fun lemme tell
you. It's 10pm when I go outside to call my man
"Baby" he answers with a sleepy voice
"Thandolwami uright?"
"No,I miss you baby kanti wena ubuya nini?" he sulks. I'm about
to laugh,when I find myself running to the toilet. Luckily there's
one outside. I vomit till I feel there's nothing in my system
anymore. That just made me sober as hell "sthandwa sami
uright?what's going on there?" he panicked on the other line. I
wipe the corners of my mouth with a tissue. I'll rinse my mouth
inside
"I'm fine,I just vomited cause of all the alcohol I've been
drinking here"
"Don't drink too much nawe" he laughs because he knows his
girlfriend. I let him go back to sleep so I could get back to
grooving with my family. I love this,all this love radiating here.
54
Siyamu's pov:
My package just got delivered. I take the package and thank the
driver before going back into the house. Perfect timing,he's still
out. Plus Aus'Lolo and Snothando went to the shop nearby. It's
been a week since that vomiting incident. I still think it's the
alcohol. So yesterday after a steamy,hot session he asked me if I
was on contraceptives and I said yes,lying to him,just to see his
reaction because we haven't been using protection. He said he
doesn't want a baby anytime soon, Snothando is enough. That
hit home because I've been forgetting to go to the doctor to get
my 3 month injection.
I unwrap the box, revealing one pregnancy test inside. I throw
the box away and run upstairs to the bathroom in his room. I
close the door and urinate in the cup I was given. I do as the
instructions said,puting the end of the stick in the urine for a
few seconds before taking it out. Now I have to wait for 5
minutes. I dispose of the urine and the cup. I call Buhle while
waiting
"Best we've been talking for 7 minutes,you can look now" she
says and time really went by because we both talk a lot so
we've wasted time. I turn around and take the stick, holding it
up
"It only has one line so I'll wait for the second line because I
can't not be pregnant after all those rounds these past three
months" I say making her laugh
"You're not pregnant, aren't you relieved?"
" I mean I am but it's a slap on the face" I hear Spho cry in the
background
"Best I've got to go,your baby has woken up. Finally!"
"Kiss her for me" I say wishing I was there to hold her
"I will,bye. I love you. I know you love me too" she hangs up on
me, great.
"Hey baby" he says behind me,keep in mind I'm still holding the
test in my hands. I turn around with my hands behind my back.
He's taking his tie off,he looks so yummy right now but I've got
to go get my injection first. He comes towards me, snaking his
hands on my waist,pulling me closer. I manage to hang my
hands on his shoulders without him seeing this pregnancy stick.
He kisses me and I kiss him back,soft and smooth
"I missed you" I laugh. He saw me just this morning. He actually
left at 11am and it's 3pm now.
"You always miss me,now let me go and make you something to
eat" he lets me go. He must be hungry. He turns around and the
stick accidentally drops,he turns back to me again. I push the
stick under the carpet with my foot.
"What was that?" he asks looking on the floor,by my feet and
back up at me
"It was nothing,get dressed in something comfortable" I say
attempting to walk away but he pulls me by my waist,making
me look at him
"You better not be hiding anything from me baby.... because,I
will find out" he whispers, instead of making me shiver,he
makes me horny. I steal a peck and run away from him,going
downstairs. I find Aus'Lolo with Snothando. Thando is making
the kid miss school just because he said he missed her. The
dramatics of this man
"Hey mom" she utters before carrying on eating her sandwich
"Hi baby" I say kissing her forehead.
"Sawbona ma" I say to Aus'Lolo and she smiles
"Sawbona ngane yami,yazi uyakujabulisa lomfana wakwa
Sangweni(greetings my child,you know that Sangweni boy
makes you happy)" she says and I giggle "buka nje manje
umithi(just look at you now,you're pregnant)" that makes me
laugh.
"Yini le oyihleka kangaka mina ngingahleki?(what are you
laughing at so much while I'm not laughing?)" he asks smiling
"It's nothing,ahy" I say wiping the tears that managed to leave
my eyes.
•••
It's been another week since that pregnancy test thingy. I'm
back home in Newcastle,at my dad's again. I'm wearing a body
hugging red dress. I have to go back to gym,I have a potbelly
now. A round one at that,ahy ngeke. I can't let myself go like
that.
"Sbusiso please, don't forget the extra sauce" I shout before he
gives me a thumbs up. My favourite these days,wings with extra
chilli sauce
"Ahy ngeke she's pregnant,look at her stomach" aunt Thandi
says smiling and I laugh,looking down at my belly.
"Do you know who the father is?" aunt Nomvula asks probably
worried
"Guys if I was pregnant I would know" I reassure them. This
honestly scares me,they are the second to say I'm pregnant and
they are elders. They know best. What if I'm really pregnant?
Oh my gosh,I'm not ready to be a mom. What if I lose the baby
again?what if Thando doesn't want the child? what if I become
a bad mom?
"Follow me" Aunt Thandi says. Aunt Nomvula follows behind us.
They close the door of the bedroom we're in and tell me to take
off my dress and my bra. Damn my boobs are heavy man. Aunt
Thandi squeezes one of my breasts and a yellowish substance
makes its way out. I say substance because I'm debating with
myself whether it's a liquid or solid. They clap their hands
excitedly, smiling
"You're pregnant ngane ka bhuti" Aunt Nomvula says
"Please can we keep this between us for now,I'll tell everyone
else when I'm ready" I state,not believing this. I'm not pregnant
"Okay mntanami but we have to go to the boy's family to tell
them about this. It's tradition and we have to go there fast
because you're starting to show." -aunt Thandi
"That's okay aunty"
"Ah I can't believe this" Aunt Thandi gushes over my belly. I
giggle noticing the long line going across my belly,passing my
belly button. I call Thando after they leave the room
"Sthandwa sami" he says softly "Ouch,fuck don't touch me like
that man!"
"What's wrong dude?why are you shouting?and who's touching
you?" he chuckles
"It's the family doctor. Don't panick okay,but I got shot. It's not
bad though,just on my thigh area" he justifies and my worries
get worse
"You're hurt?who hurt you sthandwa sami?" I find myself crying
because I'm so worried
"Lalela muntu wami,ungakhali ngibe ngingekho ukuzokusula
izinyembezi (listen my person,don't cry whilst I'm not there to
wipe your tears)"
"Just promise me you'll be okay"
"I promise baby,I'll be okay so I can make your legs numb" I
burst out in a fit of laughter
"Sies Thandolwethu sies,you're disgusting" I say wiping my tears
"I wanted to hear your laugh,sengizoba right manje thambo
lami"
"About that...is your mom available tomorrow?" I ask,anxiety
running all through my veins
"Yeah probably,we were planning on having a family dinner" he
says
"Uhm okay, please tell her to expect visiters"
"What is that about?" he asks, curious huh
"I'm not telling you,bye. I love you"
"Nami ngyakuthanda"
"Don't look at other girls there" I say and he laughs
"As if I would,you would kill them just for looking at me" we say
our goodbyes once more before ending the call. I look down at
my belly and rub on it. Could I really be pregnant?how will
Thando react to all of this because I'm 110% sure that this child
is his!no I can't be pregnant,the test came back negative.
Shit,shit I forgot to take it out under the carpet when I left. If he
found it he would tell me right?what if Aus'Lolo found it?this is
so confusing.
55
Siyamu's pov:
We made our way to Joburg in the early hours of the morning.
They made me get dressed in a free flowing floral dress,with a
blanket over my shoulders and a doek. To think that it's so hot,I
wanna cry. I'm currently sitting on the couch with my two aunts
after we've just been let in. I'm looking down the whole time
because my aunt's told me that I shouldn't look anyone in the
eye. We're sitting with Thando's mom here and she's beautiful
as always. I haven't seen anyone else
"Yebo mama,thina singabaka Tshabalala. Silethe nansi
indodakazi yethu uSiyamthanda uzobika isisu,yena usikhombe
kumfana owalaykhaya(yes mama,we are the Tshabalala's. We
have brought our daughter Siyamthanda to make her pregnancy
known,she has told us that it's a boy from this home)" Aunt
Nomvula says. I see a smile on the woman's face. Where is
Thando?
"Neli,Sne!" she shouts " ingabe imuphi loyo mfana?(which boy
is that?)"
"uThandolwethu ma" I utter my first words since I've gotten
here. Nelisiwe and Sne make their way here,greeting us and my
aunt's answer because I'm here dying of heat. I'm not even a
sweater but here I am sweating now.
"Go call your brother Thando. Also bring juice and scones for
us" she says to them as they nod,walking away. I surely didn't
miss the ugly look Nelisiwe gave me. What's wrong with
her?the ground could swallow her up for all I care. A few
minutes pass by before I hear Thando greeting and asking his
mother why he was called
"Hlala phansi mntanami(sit down my child)" he sits down
looking confused as to why I'm here "uSiyamthanda uzobika
isisu futhi uthi ingane eyakho,uyavuma yini?(Siyamthanda has
come to make her pregnancy known and she says the child is
yours,do you agree?)" his mom says. I could feel his eyes on
me,making my palms sweat
"She's pregnant?" he asks still confused. Don't look at me like
that,I'm also confused here.
"Yes" his mom answers him
"Yes the child is mine" he says and I relax a bit,I thought he'll
just switch up on me and deny the paternity of this child,if there
even is a child. "Cela ukumtshontsha kancane(can I please steal
her for a while)"
"Mthathe(take her)" Aunt Thandi says. I stand up following him
to his room. It's only now that I see that he's limping. The whole
time back there I was staring at the floor.He locks the door
"Are you okay ?let me see your thigh,phela this is mine" I tell
him. He chuckles before pulling down his sweats revealing his
big thighs and that's not the only big thing but asikho lapho. His
Calvin Klein underwear showing itself here too. The other thigh
is bandaged. I touch it feeling sorry for him. I don't like that he's
in pain
"How?" is the first thing he asks
"Isn't it obvious? We slept together without protection and I
wasn't on contraceptives"
"So you lied to me?" his voice,I couldn't understand whether he
was angry,hurt or both "but the pregnancy test came out
negative"
"What pregnancy test?"I ask acting stupid
"I told you that you can't hide anything from me"
" I don't even know if I'm really pregnant"
"So you came all this way to tell my family that you're pregnant
and you're not even sure?you really want this don't you?" he
laughs,not the 'you are a joke' type of laugh. The type of laugh
that relieves you from stress but I don't find any of this funny
"But you don't,if there's even a baby inside me,I don't want it" I
sit down,taking off this heavy blanket,feeling the breeze that
hits from the open window,nice.
"Ayibo Siyamthanda,how can you say something like that?this is
our child you're talking about" he says making me regret saying
what I said but I mean it. I don't want to be a mom,I'll make a
bad mom
"What if I lose the baby again?" I ask him. He clears his throat
"You won't and if you do,I'll be with you every step of the way"
"You see, I'll still lose my baby and slip back into that dark place
again" I challenge him. He walks towards me,closing the little
space that divided us until I can feel his hot breath on my
earlobe
"You'll still be mine at the end of the day and if we can't have
kids, we'll adopt them" he whispers making my insides flutter
with joy.
"So do you still love me?" I ask looking at him with a bright
smile,I'm truly happy now but I still have to go to the doctor to
confirm. Funny how I wasn't in the mood a minute ago and now
I feel like super woman
"Who" he pecks my lips "wouldn't" another peck "love" peck
again "all of this?"
"Let's go before the elders think we're making another baby" he
laughs at my statement because his mom is just,wow. I put on
the big blanket on my shoulders once again. He steals a kiss
before we leave the room,telling me how much he loves me.
We make our way to the sitting room again and his mom looks
up, smiling. They're laughing at whatever Aunt Thandi said. I sit
down,Thando does the same
"Hayibo Thandolwethu Sangweni,this is a women's thing. Get
out of here" his mom says looking at him,he's even drinking her
juice. This dude is just unbelievable, I'm holding in a laugh when
he starts sulking saying abo "wena ma you don't love me
anymore" he winks at me before leaving the room
"Ayibo these kids,bacimelana amehlo la phamb'kwethu(they
are winking at each other infront of us)" Aunt Nomvula says
clapping once,making us laugh
"Sesizocela ukuhamba ke thina ngoba ikude indlela ebuyela
eNewcastle (we would like to leave because the way back to
Newcastle is far)"-aunt Nomvula.
"Let me walk you guys out" his mom says standing up. He blows
a kiss at me as I walk towards the door and drunk-in-love me
blushes my way to the car. He's just so...perfect for me,
everything about him. We get in the car and I drive us back to
Newcastle. I've got to find a gynaecologist and I've got to find it
fast.
56
Thandolwethu's pov:
"I'm sorry but there really is nothing more I can do. You are not
pregnant" Dr Myeza says, breaking my heart even more. I was
already looking forward to this
"But how come doc?" I ask confused,it's been three months
that we haven't been using protection but she's not pregnant?
"As you both saw,I did the ultrasound and there was a faint
heartbeat in the background but I couldn't see a baby. Both of
you aren't infertile but if you have no problem with me asking
miss Tshabalala,have you ever been in an accident that may
have complicated anything that has to do with pregnancy?"
she asks Siyamu who seems taken back by this question. I take
her hand in mine, squeezing it gently to assure her that she's
not alone
"Uhm..." she clears her throat. I know,it brings back bad
memories "yes,a car accident last year and the doctor told me I
might not be able to have children anymore"
"Well it may be that you damaged your uterus in the accident
and whenever you try to conceive it won't happen because the
baby does not have a proper place to grow, therefore causing
miscarriage"-Dr Myeza
"What a hard pill to swallow" Siyamu comments
"If you feel like this is too much for you and you can't handle it"
she hands Siyamu a business card "here's a psychologist I could
refer you to and if ever you feel you need me to clarify things
again,you can come back at any moment"
"Thank you so much,I will do so" she forces a smile. I know this
hurts. We stand up to leave,heading to the car. I open the door
on the passenger side for her and rush back to the drivers side
to get in. When I'm seated I look at her,she's busy on her phone
"Baby" I call out
"Mmh" she replies still busy on her phone. I take it making her
look at me in a blink of an eye
"No no Thando, I'm going to lose. Give me back my phone!" she
sniffs. I pull her in for a hug
"Look at me,don't cry sthandwa sami. Everything will turn out
right"
"How?how will it when you've made me lose. You didn't even
pause the game" she scolds me. She isn't upset about the
pregnancy thing?hawu le ngane
"Sthandwa sami,you're crying about the game?" I laugh. She
hits my shoulder "ouch,uyangishaya manje?(you're hitting me
now?)"
"What are you laughing at cause now I lost that round. I better
win the next one. Angazi uhlekani (I don't know what you're
laughing at)" she says taking her phone back. Yho,abafazi. I
drive us to our house,with my bodyguards following closely
behind. I unlock before walking in and she walks in behind
me,making herself comfortable on the couch. This house feels
so empty without her and princess. Aus'Lolo is on leave for a
whole week
"I'm going to take a quick shower and I'll be down in a minute"
she nods. After her confirmation I jog up the stairs and take a 10
minute shower. Now I feel fresh. I lotion and wear my grey
sweats with a plain white t-shirt,happy socks and sleepers. I
walk downstairs. Where is she now? because she's not where I
left her. I follow the singing and it leads me to the kitchen
"I am in love with youuu,you set me free" she sings ever so
beautifully, spinning while at it. The pots everywhere,she's a
very indecisive person
"I can't do this thing called life without you here with me" I sing
with her making her laugh,I smile. Today her laugh is so care-
free and so worry less "cause I'm dangerously in love with you
and I'll never leave,so keep loving me the way you been,been
loving me"
"What are you cooking here?" I ask after our South Africa's Got
Talent performance. Lol. I hug her from behind as she pours the
oil into the pot,kissing her shoulder while inhaling her
intoxicatingly mesmerizing scent
"I don't kiss and tell" she says taking my hands off her waist
"You look and smell really good but all that goodness would go
to waste if I didn't make you work" I groan, sulking like the big
baby I am infront of her. "No,stop crying and start chopping
some onions and green pepper" she commands,laughing at me.
I wash my hands and start by chopping the green pepper,I feel
like I did a good job. I show her my work smiling. She shakes her
head in disapproval,laughing her head off
"Babe it has to be small cubes not big triangles" she voices
out,showing me how to do it.
"My mom never made me cook Siyamthanda" I tell her
"Weeeh konje you're a mamas boy" I chop some more green
pepper and I did it just like her. I'm so proud. I chop the onion
too,she rewards me with a kiss. I watch her as she teaches me
how to make spaghetti and mince. I was doing most of the
stirring and checking of the pots. When we're done I couldn't
stop tasting the food. When Siyamu cooks she experiments with
the sauces and spices,mixing sour with sweet but ends up
making the best dish. I browse through Netflix for a movie. I end
up settling for Spiderman: Far from home. She appears with a
bowl and a dish cloth. She kneels infront of me with the bowl
that had water and soap inside. I wash my hands and dry them
with the cloth
"Ngyabonga mama(thank you mama)" I say as she stands up
smiling "baby" I call out again as she walks away. She walks back
to me waiting for me to speak again "let me do the same for
you" I suggest. I stand up,taking the bowl from her and she
washes her hands,also drying them as I did
"Thank you sthandwa sami(my love)" she says,taking the bowl
away. I sit back on the couch and wait for her so we can start
the movie. After a minute or two she's back with two plates.
She places both of them carefully on the coffee table before
retreating to the kitchen again. She comes back with chilli sauce
and sweet chilli sauce and places the two bottles on the table
too. She sits down and takes my hands into hers
"Cela ucimeze khona sizothanda Thando(please close your eyes
so we can say grace)" she says. I nod before closing my eyes "
God we thank you for the beautiful day you have blessed us
with. We thank you for life and we thank you for the food we
have. Please bless the food we are about to eat. In your holy
name,amen"
"That was beautiful,thank you" I tell her. Yerr bafethu,I adore
this woman. The movie starts and we also start digging in. Her
food is not going to be finished soon though because she keeps
talking about how cute Peter and Mjay are. There's just
something I can't stop thinking about. I pause the movie,she
looks at me confused
"Wena uyahlanya ngikutshele. Usuvele ucime imovie
manje,kwenzenjani?(you're crazy I tell you. You just switch off a
movie now, what's wrong?)" she complains making me chuckle
"I want us to talk " I tell her. She gives me the 'go on' look.
"Siyamthanda how do you really feel about this whole
pregnancy thing?" She looks down, playing with her nails
"I just don't understand how I'm not pregnant because I surely
feel pregnant. The vomiting?look at my stomach" she points at
her stomach. It looks bloated "yes I know,it's just bloated.
Maybe I do want a child and I can't have one because God
damn Andile had to play God. What did you do to him Ndo?"
she asks now frowning
"I killed him" I tell her looking straight into her eyes. She doesn't
break the eye contact,she looks defeated though
"Why?no matter what a person did,they deserve to be forgiven
and given a second chance"
"Baby you don't hear yourself. So I was supposed to let Andile
live his life while we're here and we can't have kids because of
him?" this isn't going anywhere. I should've just kept quiet
"Just please promise me you won't go around killing people for
fun. Some people are bread winners at home,some are fathers
and brothers. You don't have to be the man your father wants
you to be. Don't be the man who is hated by a little girl because
you killed her father. Don't make another child like me" I sigh.
Nobody told me love was this hard. Now I have to make
sacrifices for my future with Siyamthanda
"But what if they want to hurt you or me?" I ask
"Then you do what you have to but don't kill innocent people"
she says "Thandolwethu Sangweni look at me and promise me"
I look at her
"I promise you I won't kill innocent people" I say. She smiles
"You're a good man,with a good heart. Don't change that" she
says again,cupping my face and pulling me closer for a peck
which turns into a deep kiss. My hands travel through her back.
My phone rings in my pocket and I ignore it. It rings again as I'm
about to take off my shirt. I groan, she giggles as I check who it
is. It's Ntokozo,he never calls more than once if it's not
important
"Baby I have to take this" I say as she looks away,I hope she's
not becoming moody now because ahy her mood swings are
going to blow my mind. I answer the phone call
"Ngihleli neh vrou yami ngoba ungibeylela (I'm sitting with my
wife as you're calling me)" I say
"Pete is dead" he responds
"Pete as in Siyamu's bodyguard?" I whisper looking in the other
direction
"Yeah,his car was in the same place for a long while. The guys
went there and found him strangled in his car. He also had a
note" this is shocking,who would have done this?
"What was written?" I ask
"Like the king in chess,you can't remove me but I can remove
you" Ntokozo says "you've got to get to the warehouse as soon
as possible"
"Eish that will be tricky but sho bafo,I'll see you" I end the call
after saying that. I look towards Siyamu and her eyes are
closed,her chest falling and rising slowly
"Siyamu" I call out and get an mmmh,she's really asleep. I pick
her up bridal style and she peeps with one eye before closing
her eyes again. I carry her upstairs and tuck her in our bed. She
holds my hand as I walk away. I look back at her on the
bed,can't wait to knock her up
"Where are you going?" she asks in a sleepy voice
"I'll be back sthandwa sami"
"Finish your food then,don't go on an empty stomach. Stay
safe,I love you" she says pulling me in for a kiss. I smile
" I love you more mkami(my wife)" I say before kissing her for
the last time. I watch her turn to the other side and fall back
asleep. I turn to walk out. I finish eating and wash the dishes. I
put her food in the fridge because she's going to want it when
she wakes up. I drive to the warehouse with my bodyguards. I
walk inside greeting the guards outside. I ended up in the office,
drinking whiskey. Whoever killed Pete wants Siyamu and I'm
sure of that. Why did I even leave her alone in the house?damn
no. I bang the table. Ntokozo walks in,he looks fresh and worry
less
"They want her,they want Siyamthanda" he says making my
head spin. I know I'm putting her life at risk but I just can't let
her go,again. I'd rather go out of my way to protect her.
57
You never know how strong you are until being strong is the
only choice you have.
Siyamu's pov:
I pick a ripe mango from the shortest tree because oh well,I'm
very short. It looks so good and yummy. I take a bite from it and
the juices run down the corners of my mouth to my hands. I
finish the mango before cleaning my dirty hands with my yellow
summer dress. The mango's keep on growing on the tree. This is
beautiful
I'm woken up from my dream by a loud banging noise. I open
my eyes slowly adjusting to the sun,it's already the next day?I
didn't realise I was that tired. I stretch my arms and the banging
noise starts again,that's when I notice that it's not banging but
it's the sound of a gun going off and it sounds so close. I look
besides me and Thando isn't there. I start panicking because
the gunshots don't stop. My heart is beating out of my chest. I
get out of bed and lock the door,looking for my phone under
the pillow. I check the time and it's 6am,his number is on speed
dial so I just press on it and something vibrates on top of the
dressing table. I curse under my breath. The gunshots stop for a
while and I put my ear on the door to hear if there's any voices
"We will find whoever did this!they will pay for their sins and
guys please clean up here before my wife sees this" Thando
shouts angrily. I hear footsteps coming towards the bedroom
and I step away from the door,getting back into the unmade
bed. My heart is still beating at an irregular rate. Whoever it is
tries to open the door and knocks
"Siyamthanda please open the door it's me" Thando shouts on
the other side. I walk to the door and unlock. I'm in his arms as
soon as the door is open "baby are you okay?" he asks me
"Yeah, just scared... and I was so worried" he lets go of me and
locks the door behind him. Before anything else is said,there's
gunshots blazing once again. The window breaks, shattering to
pieces right infront of my eyes
"Get down" he shouts warning me. We're on our knees heading
for the closet now but the guns haven't stopped blazing. In his
closet he presses on the bottom of the tie from one of his navy
suits. Behind the rail where he hangs his suits,a door opens and
there are stairs leading somewhere I don't know. So he has a
secret safe room?I'm glad. This doesn't even look like a door
but anyways...
"Baby we don't have time,here take this if anything happens"
he gives me a gun. My eyes go wide. Is he crazy? "go down
there, everything you'll need is there. There's food,take a
shower and watch a movie" he says gently pushing me down
the stairs. He stops halfway,holds my waist and kisses my
forehead "ngyakthanda Siyamthanda,always know that" he
dissapears up the stairs before I could even respond. The door
closes and I carry the journey of walking down the stairs. When
I reach the bottom it is an open space,there are no walls which
means the bath tub,the toilet,bed and couch are in one big
space. There is a mushy light brown carpet and a flat screen TV
on the wall. I walk to the closet expecting to find it empty but
there are clothes I've never seen before and a note,written:
'If you're reading this,then the day has finally come. These are
your clothes,wear them. The remotes for the TV and the aircon
are next to the bed. Don't worry about me,I'll be fine
Love Ndo'
So he has been prepared all along?I even feel guilty for thinking
he will ever put my life in danger. I put the gun on top of the
bed,this thing is heavy. I don't know how these men pick it up
like it's just nothing. I open the tap for hot water in the bathtub
and pour the bubble bath and the bath salts I found there.
When the water is enough,I close the tap and get in the water
after cooling it. I wash up and after that,I relax. I stay in the
water until my hands and feet get wrinkly. I take a towel and dry
my body before I lotion it. I browse for clothes and I spot
underwear and wear it. I can't find any bra's and I remember
him saying he prefers to have me without a bra,this guy. Sigh. I
wear white oversized Mordecai and Rigby tracksuits. I pull up
the hoodie to see my stomach,it's not deflating any time soon. I
draw circles on my belly and smile. I know there's nothing there
but I just feel that someone special will be growing in there
some day. I pull the hoodie down. I also put on a white beanie
over my black and brown locs. I walk out and switch on the air-
conditioner since it's a bit chilly. I go to the fridge and find
lasagna,just right. I put it in the microwave and pour some
mango juice. Then I remember my craving, actual mango. I look
for mango and I can't find it. I'm so mad at Thandolwethu. Why
didn't he buy any mango here?
I instantly regret heating this lasagna because it smells so bad
but it looks good. I put it back in the fridge and sit down on the
couch,drinking my mango juice. That's when I realised that I left
my phone. Damn,the time on the TV is 8am and I have to be at
work at 10am. I try to find a movie to distract me but end up
settling for National Geographic channel. So this cheetah was
born with a different eye colour from his mother so his mother
abandoned him and another mother cheetah took him in. This
is so interesting.
"Sthandwa sami,it's over now" a voice says behind me. I know
that husky voice,that's my man. I turn around and jump on
him,kissing him all over his face. He chuckles
"I'm so glad you're okay" I tell him with my arms around his
neck and his hands firmly gripping my ass. He kisses me
"Let's get out of here" he says pulling me towards the stairs
"I'm definitely coming here when I'm mad at you" I tell him
making him laugh. I switch off the TV and the aircon,and wash
the glass I used. He leads me back up the stairs. Freedom at
last. The bed is now neatly made and then I remembered
something
"Baby" he looks at me expectantly "I left the uhm...thing you
gave me down there"
"What did I give you?" He smirks. So this is funny to him?
"You gave me a gun" I whisper. He laughs.
"It's fine I'll get it later" now I feel dizzy,maybe because I haven't
eaten. I nod,looking for my phone. I find it on top of the bed. 13
missed calls from Buhle and 2 from Sandile. 1 from Anthony.
He's been up my neck on forgiving him because the people of
Eastern Cape said they wanted me back there. The last two are
from my older brother and sister.
"What was all that about?the shooting and did anyone die?are
you hurt?" I ask all at once. He sits on the bed and I do too,a
second after him
"Don't worry yourself about that" he says,he sat down just to
say that?
"No,I want to know" I demand. He just sighs before looking at
me with his tired eyes
"Well 6 of the guards died and no I'm not hurt. The only thing
we know for now is that there's a guy who's using you to get to
me. Don't worry though,you're safe as long as you stick to me"
My phone rings and I look at the screen. It's my brother. I
answer the call
"Dadewethu(our sister)" he says and I smile
"Bhuti omdala" I respond happy that he called.
58
Siyamu's pov:
"You lie mngani!" Buhle exclaims as I update her on my life,she's
so dramatic
"I'm telling you,put your hand here" I say taking her hand and
placing it on my small bump. She gasps while quickly pulling up
the pyjama top
"No but mngani if you're just bloated,what exactly is making
you bloated?" she asks concerned
"The gynae said it's caused by overeating or eating too much
too fast" I tell her rolling my eyes because I know it's true but it
still stings
" Is it because you're black?" she questions
"Ayi mngani she's also black" I state. We laugh our heads off,
we're so stupid. We take mini videos and pictures here and
there. We're having a sleepover at her apartment because uhm
we've got to spend as much time as possible before she gets
married! I receive a call from Thando as we're laughing. I
answer,his upper body shows on the screen and he's at groove.
Wow. I start screen recording
"Oh baby, ngyafisa ngyafisa
Uk'bona njalo, kanjalo
Ngyawuthanda, ngyawuthanda
Umoya wakho owakho
Ngyafisa ngyafisa
Uk'bona njalo, kanjalo
Ngyawuthanda, ngyawuthanda
Umoya wakho owakho
Ey ngithi ngeke ngthole omunye onjengawe
Sengbonile abasekho, abasekho
Ey ngithi ngeke ngthole omunye onjengawe
Sengbonile abasekho (Eh ngithi ngeke ngeke)
Oh baby, ngyafisa ngyafisa
Uk'bona njalo, kanjalo
Ngyawuthanda, ngyawuthanda
Umoya wakho owakho
Ngyafisa ngyafisa
Uk'bona njalo, kanjalo
Ngyawuthanda, ngyawuthanda
Umoya wakho owakho
Ey ngithi ngeke ngthole omunye onjengawe
Sengbonile abasekho, abasekho
Ey ngithi ngeke ngthole omunye onjengawe
Sengbonile abasekho (Ey ngithi ngeke ngeke ngeke)
Ey ngithi ngeke ngeke ngeke
Ey ngithi ngeke ngeke ngeke
Thando lwakho baby, luyangiphilisa
Umoya wakho baby, uyang'jabulisa
Ahh baby ngyazfela, ngawe ngempela
Thando lwami zok'vezela, phupho lami lifezeke
Thando lwakho baby, luyangiphilisa (Uthando lwakho)
Umoya wakho baby, uyang'jabulisa
Ahh baby ngyazfela, ngawe ngempela
Thando lwami zok'vezela, phupho lami lifezeke
Ngyafisa ngyafisa
Uk'bona njalo, kanjalo
Ngyawuthanda, ngyawuthanda
Umoya wakho owakho
Ngyafisa ngyafisa
Uk'bona njalo, kanjalo
Ngyawuthanda, ngyawuthanda
Umoya wakho owakho
Ey ngithi ngeke ngthole omunye onjengawe
Sengbonile abasekho, abasekho
Ey ngithi ngeke ngthole omunye onjengawe
Sengbonile abasekho (Ey ngithi ngeke ngeke ngeke)
Ey ngithi ngeke ngeke ngeke
Ey ngithi ngeke ngeke ngeke" Thando,Sandile and Thapelo sing
along to Blxckie's song while dancing. Buhle popped her head in
during their little performance busy blushing because her man
is blowing her kisses. Thando walks to what seems like a quiet
place and Buhle's phone rings
"Baby" she says as she answers while walking to her room. I
hope she's not about to have phone sex while I'm here,eeeuw
"My honey bunny dipped in chocolate sauce" he says, making
me laugh and it looks like he's in his car now
"Yeah tall,dark and handsome" I reply and we laugh once again.
He takes a sip of his beer
"Baby I love you, okay?" he says making me smile, I love this
man
"I love you more my love" he smiles after my reply
"So I was thinking..." he starts and pauses,playing with his
beard
"Yeah?"
"How about we go on a baecation?I mean it would be fun
sthandwa sami" he continues,taking another sip of his beer
"Why? what's the occasion?if you're going to propose then no. I
won't marry you at such a young age" I say, rearranging the
pillow I'm sitting on top of. I cross my legs and pop a
marshmallow in my mouth
"Uyaphapha (you're forward) Siyamthanda yho" he laughs while
rolling his eyes. I laugh along with him realising that no man,I
really am forward "why do we need to go on a vacation on
special occasions only?can't I just spoil imama lami in peace.
Baby please just let me do this for you without you questioning
me. All you have to do is pack and look pretty" he explains
further. Maybe it is just a vacation. Now I feel so dumb
"Where are you thinking of taking me and when Ndo?" I ask
making him pout
"It's a surprise" he answers making me roll my eyes
"Babe this isn't some fairytale movie. I have to ask Sandile for
leave and sort this out with you. Also,I have to check the
weather and check that I don't overdress. Imagine me wearing
heels kanti we're just going to the jungle to see abo Tarzan" he
laughs so hard,hawu what's funny?
"Baby..." he laughs once again "Tarzan is not real and we're
going to Dubai sthandwa sami" I squeal. It's not my first time
out of the country but it will be my first time in Dubai
"Okay,I'll check with Sandile when you guys are sober" he
laughs and I hear footsteps. Buhle steps in looking
refreshed,smiling and she's heading to the kitchen. I told you
guys weeeh "baby" Ndo brings me out of my daze
"Mmmh" I respond looking at him,he's so handsome
"Ngiyakuthanda ndlovukazi yami,ungakukhohlwa lokho ( I love
you my queen, don't forget that)" he says making my insides
bubble
"Nami ngiyakthanda sthandwa sami" I reply and he blows me
kisses which I catch. He finally bids goodbye since the gents
were calling him. I stop screen recording and I finally notice
Buhle next to me,with her big eyes looking straight at me
"You're weird" I tell her and she smiles
"So,I was thinking...of getting into the radio presenting thingy"
she says hesitantly. Okay now it's time to talk about how we
gonna make money
"Radio presenting thingy?" I ask with my eyebrow raised up
"Like being a radio presenter" she continues
"So when are you starting training?I wanna come watch you"
she screams,like literally screams scaring the shit out of me. She
hugs me jumping on me, we're sitting on the floor njalo on top
of cushions. Ahy,to go is to see
" I'll start next week and then after training,I'm applying at radio
stations"
"I'm proud of you but what's going to happen to your
business?" I ask because it's clearly not going to stand on its
own
"I'll hand it over to someone else but I'll still have shares" I
smile, as a sign of approval "what about you sis?what are you
planning to do?"
"So I've been thinking about this for a while,next year I'm going
back to university to finish my last year in Business
management" I say and snack on some Doritos,my obsession
these days
"That's brilliant mngani,now we'll both have degrees!" she says
the last part over exaggerating. My phone pings and I check the
notification. It's a photo from Sandile. I open it and it has the
dates and places of our London Tour which is next month,it also
has a photo of me in the background,the one we took when I
was wearing all black. There's also a text from him
written 'photoshoot on Saturday,I'll send you the location
tomorrow' . I want to take the week off since it's my birthday
next week Sunday and I'm not excited at all but who knows,this
year I have a man phela. Dubai here we come!
59
You deserve the love you keep trying to give everyone else
Thandolwethu's pov:
So we had to postpone the Dubai vacation because my parents
set a date during the week to do the last ceremony of our
deceased children. That day is today, Thursday and on
Sunday,the 18th it's her birthday. It's not like I'll let not going to
Dubai get to me,I'll take her to Cape Town this weekend but she
doesn't know that. Ekuruleni is so rural man,you'd swear it
hasn't changed since the days of my grandmother.
I untie the goat from the tree and grab it by its horns. I pull it
towards the Sangweni kraal along with two of my uncle's. We
get there and my father is standing with the incense chanting
the Sangweni clan names
"E! Sangweni
Sango elibanzi
Mangwane ngwadi
Masinga sileke
Nina eningaweli ngezibuko
Eniwela ngezimpande zomfula
Tshani bude bukaNsele
Nina bakaMabelemade
Ancelisumtwana ngaphesheya komfula
Nina bakwaManzezulu." he says as he makes the goat smell the
incense,along with Siyamu and I. Siyamu came to the kraal with
my mother a few minutes ago.
"Bantwa bami,talk to your children and ask them to not hurt
the kids you are going to have in future and you also have to
name them" my dad says. I nod,Siyamu has her head down the
whole time. She's wearing a long khaki skirt and my grey hoodie
on top of her bra since she said it's hot. She's also wearing a
Louis Vuitton headscarf,she just had to. Ahh my woman. She
looks so beautiful. I'm just wearing blue overalls because I've
been getting dirty
"Unathi Sangweni" she utters still staring at the ground. I love
it,we can't really say if the twins were girls or boys
"And Xolani Sangweni" I say before continuing "Unathi nawe
Xolani,ubaba wenu lona okhulumayo. Zingane zami,cela
ningazilimazi izingane zakini ezizayo emhlabeni wethu. Nihlale
nibagadile. Nazi futhi ukuthi mina no mawenu sinithanda njalo.
Ibani izingelosi zethu. Nilale ngokuthola ( Unathi and Xolani,it's
your father speaking. My children,please don't hurt your
siblings that are going to come to our world. Always protect
them. Always know that your mother and I love you at all times.
Be our angels. Rest in peace)" the goat bleats loudly and my
father smiles
"Bavumile(they have agreed)" my father says "now it is time to
slaughter the goat,siyabonga ndodakazi" Siyamu and my
mother go back inside while we go slaughter the goat. We
slaughter the goat and Bayanda arrives along with Lwandile.
They just go straight into the house. I take the meat along with
Kuhle and two of our cousin's to the kitchen. Where I find
Siyamu,Lwandile and the twins chatting up a storm. Siyamu and
Lwandile are sitting on the kitchen chairs while the twins and
some of my aunt's prepare the food. I put the meat on the table
and wash my hands,the two guys do the same. We still haven't
told anyone that she's not pregnant. I don't think we're ready
for all the questions but we'll have to tell them sooner or later
"Lwandile makoti wethu omusha(our new bride)" I greet. She
smiles and greets back. I wink at my girl and she blushes,looking
down to avoid eye contact.I make my way to the room our
parents use when they are here,knowing my dad is there with
Bayanda. I knock because mom and dad could be inside,doing
lord knows what. Nobody answers and I put my ear on the door
to hear if anyone is there
"Bayanda!" my dad shouts and I just walk in. The three of them
turn their heads towards me.
"Thandolwethu" mom calls out
"Yebo ma" I answer
"Give us some space boy, there's something we're still talking
about" dad intervenes
"No baba! He will not give us space. You know that he'll prove
you wrong" Bayanda shouts
"What's going on?" I ask closing the door behind me
"Ubaba doesn't want me to be an engineer,that's what I studied
for God's sake. No,things must always go his way! I'm not even
the best in the company cause I'm not passionate about what I
do there and this is why I quit the job. The same man who
claims to be my loving father is the one telling companies to not
hire me. I'm sure he wants me to take in his footsteps since
both of his older sons agreed to that madness" he says
throwing his hands in the air. Yho, drama yalay'khaya. Dad has a
logistics company,that's how we transport the guns
"Baba uBayanda is old enough to take decisions on his own and
it is his life,not yours. You lived yours now deal with it" I say
making him more furious
"Uzobabuka bekhuluma nami kanje nkos'kazi?(you'll just look at
them talking to me like that wife?)" he asks mom who just
walks out on him. That's how their marriage has been ever
since Mandla and Neli's mom stepped through our door.
"Baba we're not having this conversation again!
Bayanda,starting tomorrow you go apply for any job you want" I
say trying to end this conversation
"Sure thing bafo" Bayanda responds
"Uzolimala Thandolwethu mfan'wami. Don't forget that I
introduced you to this life and I can also take it away from you"
dad warns and I walk out,followed by Bayanda. I walk off to my
grandmother's bedroom because she's the peacemaker in the
family. I knock softly and enter slowly
"Gogo" I say. She smiles weakly
"Go get your girlfriend and then come back" she says facing the
direction of the window. Why manje?but I don't ask further. I
turn back to the direction of the kitchen
"Mantombazane,cela ukumtshontsha kancane?(ladies, please
can I steal her for a bit?)" I ask,they all nod pushing her to stand
up. We laugh as we walk away, holding hands. My aunts are
giving us disgusted looks, lapho we don't care. We get to the
passage and I stop walking,she bumps into me and laughs. I
smile,she's all I've ever dreamt of. She looks at me batting her
long eyelashes,up and down. Her beautiful eyes staring back at
mine
"Give me a hug" I whisper in her ear,putting my arms around
her waist. She hangs her arms on my shoulders. I lean in for a
kiss,my hands traveling softly on her back. I grab her butt
cheek,pulling her closer to me
"Thando" she whispers in between the kisses. I ignore
her,feeling my hard on growing harder as the kiss intensifies
and our breathing pattern changes. My left hand pulling her
waist closer to mine while my right hand is massaging her ass
cheek softly "Thando what if someone catches us?" she asks
softly
"Then they must learn to mind their own business" I respond
making her giggle. I kiss her again,pinning her against the wall. I
hear footsteps so I let her go and look in the direction,it's dad.
He walks by like he doesn't see anybody. He's dramatic mxm.
Siyamu looks down shyly. He enters his room and bangs the
door
"That was awkward" she says and we burst out laughing. So we
really got caught "mara why did he pass us like he didn't see
anything?" she asks
"It's nothing,we just had a fight. No biggie" I say pulling her
towards my grandmother's bedroom. We get in and she smiles,
widely this time
"Finally,I can save you at last" gogo says directed to Siyamu,who
just looks confused
"Sawbona gogo" she greets
"Uright?"
"Yebo gogo,wena unjani?"
"I'll be fine" my grandmother says and gestures that we come
closer with her hands. We walk to the bed and sit at the edge.
My grandmother sits up and puts both her hands on
Siyamthanda's stomach with her eyes closed. Siyamu looks at
me,I'm sure she's wondering what the hell is going on. Gogo
smiles while at it
"I bless this child and the mother. May the womb that is
carrying this child heal and grow healthy babies. I give you my
blessing" she says and lays on her back again
"What's happening gogo?" I ask but I know better than to ask
her questions
"Thandolwethu I love you,okay? please take care of your bride.
She's one of a kind,you will never find another who suits you
like she does. Take care of your children Ndo,they must never
feel as if you don't love them. Whatever happens,guard your
family with your whole being. Stay strong my grandchild,you're
still going to fight for this love" gogo says and I wipe a fallen
tear on her cheek. That is the most information she's ever given
me since I was born. Siyamu stands up to hug ugogo and they
both smile. I take a picture while they're still engrossed in the
hug.
We arrive in Durban at 9pm since we left at 6pm. We also had
to stop every now and then because Siyamu would randomly
say she needs air. Weird. I wake up at 7am to make her
breakfast in bed. I brush my teeth and wash my face. I google
how to make pancakes because I obviously can't make them. I
mix the dough and try to make a heart shaped pancake,which
ended up looking like that new melting emoji on WhatsApp.
Great. Let me just make regular pancakes,from the heart. The
second one got burnt and I had to throw it away. The third one
came out perfectly. I squeeze fresh oranges to make her my
homemade orange juice
"Goodmorning jerk" she says ruining her surprise
"I'm a jerk now?" I ask with my eyebrow raised up
"I was thinking about the time you told me you don't want me
because you have a girlfriend. You were such a jerk"
"Yeah ne,those were the days" I say and we laugh.
"We're telling our kids about that,siyi (we are) motivation for
them to find true love"
"Ain't no child of mine is going to have a man touching
them,unless of course you bear me boys" her mouth hangs
open
"I thought two kids were enough,princess and the other one I'm
going to give you" she says making me laugh
"Ncaoh man baby,keep telling yourself that. Anyways,why are
you up?I was making breakfast to serve it to you in bed"
"Thando kuyasha!" she shouts making me turn around in
blazing speed. The dish cloth I left near the stove has caught
fire. I run towards the cleaning supplies cupboard,which was
close by and take the fire extinguisher. I pull the pin,aim at the
cloth that has caught fire. I squeeze the handle and that white
foam comes out, stopping the fire. She holds me at arms length
and scans my body
"Are you hurt?baby I'm so glad you're alright" she says hugging
me
"Lesson learnt,I'm never going into the kitchen alone again" I
say and she burst out in laughter
"To be honest with you,it was the smell of burnt pancakes that
woke me up" she says, letting go of me even though I don't
want to
"Forget about this,I'll take you out for breakfast and then we
can start our road trip. Have you packed?"
"No and I didn't pack for you because maybe you want to hide a
ring" she shrugs.
I laugh so hard. Kuyahlekwa kule relationship shame,no lies
detected. Weeh lona she hates packing phela
"Uyayifuna le ring eh?(you really want this ring eh?) Unga
worry,I'll buy it for you ntwana" I say still laughing,she joins in.
Road trip to Cape Town here we come!!!
60
Be who you needed when you were younger ~unknown
Siyamu's pov:
"So what we get drunk!?so what we smoke weed!? we're just
having fun,we don't care who sees! So what we go out?that's
how it's supposed to be! Living young and wild and freeeee" we
sing our voices out to Wiz Khalifa's song. He suddenly stops the
car on the side of the road and just below lies a beautiful river. I
don't know where we are because someone said it's a
surprise,knowing very well I hate surprises. The boards I've
been seeing don't add up,surely it's a place I've never been to
before
"Haa my boyfriend is a serial killer and he's about to throw me
into the river" I clap my hands once making Thando burst out in
laughter
"Sthandwa sami..." he carries on laughing,I end up joining in,
realising how stupid I can be sometimes "can you please stop
dude,ngiphethwe isisu manje ngi busy ngihlekana nawe (my
stomach aches now I'm busy laughing at you)"
"Serves you right for getting a girlfriend like me" I state
laughing. He jumps out and jogs over to my side to open my
door. What a gentleman. He holds my hand as I make my way
out. I stand on the road,holding onto the railing. I'm scared of
heights sometimes,lol. He fiddles with something in the
backseat of his Porsche. Remember the one I took with me?yes
that one. He comes back with a bouquet of white roses with
papers all around. When he reaches me I notice that it's not just
papers,it's papers with Mandela's face on them. I smile
admiring the sight infront of me
"These are for you" he says handing them to me. I thank him
with a kiss "let me take pictures of you" he suggests. I can see
our bodyguards at the corner of my eye. I pose infront of his car
as he takes pictures of me. After trying to find the right angle
and him making silly jokes just so I could smile. After 10 minutes
or so, I end up taking pictures with him. Some hiding his face
and most of his body,ughhh the life of a celebrity. I'm not even
going to post him but yeah yeah, doesn't matter. We head back
inside the car when we decide the pictures are enough. The
road trip continues with us singing and sharing silly jokes,with
random kisses in between. We stop for food at Timmy's,I don't
even know where this is cause I was sleeping half of the drive.
After eating we go grocery shopping for a few things we'll need
as Thando said. Giving me a clue that where we are going,we
have to self cater. After the grocery shopping,we head back on
the road again. I doze off again
I'm woken up by someone shaking me lightly. I rub the sleep off
my eyes and immediately stop when I remember I've got
makeup on. Throughout this whole trip I think I slept for more
than half of the trip. My eyes are met by a beautiful sight of a
big gate written in gold, 'Royal Home Inn'. Woah woah woah,is
this the place built by the king of the Zulu nation?the place that
costs an arm and a leg.
"Wow" I murmur under my breath. The car comes to a halt. He
takes out our suitcases and I take the two plastic bags with food
inside.
"Baby leave those plastics, I'll fetch them later" he says
"No it's fine,they're not even that heavy"
"Siyamthanda I said leave them!" he snaps,scaring the shit out
of me. I even flinch. A guard comes running towards us
"Good afternoon,do you guys need any help with your bags" he
asks me because Thando is already on an 'important' phone call
"Yes please" I smile back at the guard and he whistles loudly
signalling the other guard. He also comes running and takes the
suitcases that Thando is carrying. He gives the poor boy a
deadly stare. We make our way in and I'm in awe, I haven't even
gotten to the room,we're still at reception. The golden
chandeliers hanging from the mirror glass ceiling catches me by
surprise. This place is to die for. We check in and make our way
to our room,I'm guessing. Thando unlocks and the boys put the
suitcases and plastic bags inside. I take out R300 for each boy
and give it to them after thanking them. They smile as they walk
away,I'm happy I could make someone happy. Thando is on
another phone call so I decide to take a tour of this place on my
own. The bedroom has a queen sized bed with white bedding.
The closets are white and the handles are gold. I walk further to
find a kitchen. There is a 4 plated flat stove,the kitchen island is
made of marble. A big fridge and freezer. There are 6 highchairs
around the kitchen island. I walk to the sliding door and there's
a cat sitting outside licking itself clean. I'm scared of cats but
they're so cute. Why do people even use these creatures to do
witchcraft?I take a picture of it and lock the sliding door while
closing the curtain. The bathroom is so spacious,there's a glass
shower,a toilet and a bath tub which also turns into a jacuzzi.
Nice. I walk back to the bedroom,slowly still admiring this place.
When I get back to the bedroom Thando is on the phone,with
his back towards me
"Didn't you get arrested just yesterday?" he whispers so I
decided to listen a little longer. Don't look at me like that
"No! The cops are on our tail. I said the last batch must wait!"
he whisper shouts. He listens before sighing "you know
what?I'm tired of this,this life!I just want to be normal. I just
want to be happy. Don't you understand?I never wanted this in
the first place... alright...sharp,bye" I assume he has dropped
the call. He fiddles with his phone so I hug him from behind. He
turns around to face me and he looks so tired. You can't miss his
small eyes and the dark bags under them. He hugs me
back,tighter than I did.
"Let's go to bed,you must be tired" I say and he doesn't
respond, instead he starts taking off his clothes. I take off mine
too,making sure to look sexy enough as I'm only in my
underwear. I switch off all the lights leaving on our side lamps.
He is already in bed,sitting upright and busy with his phone.
Lord if he is talking to another girl,may he trip,fall and lose all
his teeth. I get into the bed,sitting just like him
"Uhhh baby are you okay?" I ask because I'm worried about
him. He's acting weird
"Look I-"
"Look I'm-" we say simultaneously and laugh
"You go first" he says. I sigh
"I just wanted you to know that whatever you're going
through,I'll always be here okay?you don't have to talk about it
if you don't want to"
"No sthandwa sami I'm sorry. Please just listen and don't
interrupt me okay?" I nod,it's as if he knew I was about to open
my mouth and say something " I'm sorry,all of it is my fault" he
stares at his hands. I sit ontop of him,with both his legs under
me. You might find this weird, we're both half naked but we're
so comfortable with each other "I'm so tired,I'm tired of this
life. The guns,the bodyguards,the enemies?having to always
look over your shoulder. I hate it but I hate it more because I
never chose it. My dad chose this life for me,this is not who I
am!fuck!" he starts sniffing. I wipe his falling tears. This sight
breaks my heart,I don't think I've ever seen him cry "words fail
to show how sorry I am. I know this weekend was supposed to
be about you but I just can't hold it in anymore. It hurts and I'm
so mad at my dad. If I wasn't in this business,you wouldn't have
gotten into an accident. We wouldn't have lost uXolani noh
Unathi. Our babies would be running around right now. It's all
my fault!from the first time dad made me hold a gun I should've
stood my ground. I'm so sorry for making your life miserable
sthandwa sami,all I've ever brought you was tears, physical and
emotional scars and bad luck. If it wasn't for my dad, we'd be
happy with our kids. I failed you,I failed as a father and I have
failed as a man. I'm sorry" he carries on sobbing and I pull him
closer to my chest. This goes on for five more minutes. I give
him a tight hug along with a lot of kisses. He smiles weakly and
now his eyes are worse. I get a towel to wipe my chest while he
washes his face and drys it. We go back to bed with me being
the big spoon for once in my life. He's sleeping so peacefully
now and I've lost sleep because I was sleeping throughout the
whole trip. Okay damn,I'm pressed now. I wanna pee so bad but
I don't want to disturb his peaceful sleep cause he's tired. I
gently remove my arm under his big body and tip toe to the
bathroom. I urinate and it feels so gooooood. I walk back to the
bed when I'm done and get the shock of my life. Thando is
actually sitting up, yawning here and there
"Baby you should be asleep" I say getting in the same position
we were in before
"I wanted to make sure you were alright" that's so sweet of
him. I watch him sleep and smile,I wonder what I did to deserve
such a beautiful man. Oh yes,he's beautiful and he's mine...all
mine.
61
Siyamu's pov:
I woke up to the sun out on full display. Spring ending
beautifully, welcoming the summer. I open the curtains leaving
my sleepy head in bed. He deserves the rest. Since there's
nothing to actually do I take a relaxing bubble bath after
brushing my teeth. I make myself Santa with the bubbles and
giggle,maybe I was born to be crazy. The bathroom door opens
and my head bolts up. Thando makes his way in rubbing his
templates. He kisses my forehead and yawns after that. He
must've been really tired. I take a look at his body as he
stretches,his big biceps look so sexy I could bite them off right
now.
"Imma take a shower alright?cause we're going to be late" he
says already entering the shower,ending my dream before it
even started. I dry myself when I'm done and I lotion. I make
the bed and pick out matching underwear. It's important for a
girl to look sexy for her man or is it just horny me speaking?he
makes his way into the room with a towel around his waist
"You've got anything planned for today?" I ask and he simply
nods. He's not himself right now and I'll let him be. He deserves
to cry all day because of what he's going through,it's not his
fault life is taking a left turn "well what is it?or just tell me the
dress code atleast sneaky man" he gives me a small smile
"Hiking, we're going hiking baby"
"That sounds fun" I literally dance because oh well your girl
loves some adventurous shit. I hug him and jump on him,he
catches me and next thing I know he is pinning me against the
closet. He kisses me passionately and goes down to my
neck,sucking and sucking on it. I gasp for air as his left hand is
pinching my ass cheek which is totally hot by the way. His
phone rings disturbing our moment. I stop him but he doesn't
put me down
"Just ignore it" his voice comes out muffled. He picks up from
where he left off, already helping me take off my bra and my
babies bounce freely. He carries on sucking on my neck and his
phone rings again
"Baby..." he flat out ignores me,kissing my skin everywhere.
Where does he even get the strength to hold me for this long?
his phone is annoying me "Ndooo" I try to whisper but it comes
out as a moan. It's stops ringing. He lays me carefully on the
bed. Is it me or did he say we're going to be late? He takes off
my underwear and throws it somewhere in the room and
smiles
"You're so beautiful" he kisses me,what's taking him so long?I
don't like all this teasing,he should touch me already. He kisses
my neck going down to my breasts and sucking on them. This
time it feels arousing. There we go again,his phone and ruining
our moment.
"Maybe it's important,take it" I say getting up,fishing for my
under garments. He walks to the kitchen I think,to talk to this
person who can't seem to leave him alone. He looks angry
tho,maybe it's the sidechick. Should I secretly listen to his
conversation to see if he's not cheating? no that's intense. I opt
for a grey tight,grey oversized Nike t-shirt and my Adidas
trainers.
"Wenzani?(what are you doing?)" he asks confused. His suticase
is infront of me and I'm digging inside it
"Looking for your cap" I simply answer
"Mmh okay, suspicious" he says taking clothes out for himself. I
found the white Nike one and I wear it over my snoopie
because awoa it's too hot for a weave. He finishes and we make
some healthy breakfast smoothies,take our water bottles and
drive out. The radio is off so I turn it on and they're discussing a
case of Gender based violence. Thando is awfully quiet so I
decide to ask him what's on my mind
"Who was calling you so much?" he looks at me briefly and then
diverts his eyes back to the road
"It was nobody important"
"Okay...what did the not very important person want?"
"You don't have to worry yourself about that. I just want you to
enjoy this weekend to the fullest because tomorrow is the day
you,my queen were born and you should be happy"he responds
making me overthink once again. What if it really was his side
dish?I trust him but I don't trust myself. I feel like he craves
more than what I give him "Babe we're here"
Kaapstad lande (Cape Town Lands) reads the big green board.
He directs me inside and it seems like he's been here before.
We start the walk after being briefed about the dangerous
plants and everything we have to know. We start our 10km
journey
"Do you ever think about doing something else other than what
you're currently doing?" he asks out of the blue. I think for a
while
"I was thinking of going back to school next year to finish my
degree"
"That's great mos" he seems happy about this "I just want you
to have a back up plan incase anything happens"
"I get you and guess what happened yesterday?" I ask excitedly
because he was asleep when I got this email from Sandile. He
pauses for a while
"You bit your tongue?" he asks hesitantly. I laugh,he joins in
"you're that dramatic"
"Nooooo,stooop" I playfully hit his shoulder
"I got an email from Sandile and it was from Channel O,The
Music News approved my CV to be their new presenter and
training is going to start in 2 weeks. They said I nailed the
interview" he stops,pulls me by my hand and picks me
up,spinning me around. I laugh as the wind hits my face. He
trips over a medium sized rock making him fall on his back while
I fall on top of him. Luckily there aren't any big rocks in this
place otherwise we'd be talking a different story. He would've
hit his head. Our water bottles also fell but our phones are safe
in his pockets. We laugh at ourselves because the couple that
was behind us is looking at us with so much concern. He gets up
and extends his hand so I could also get up since I decided to sit
on the ground. He dusts off the dirt on my ass and I dust off the
dirt on his back. We take videos too. I'm honestly happy about
this presenting thing. A whole me? presenting a TV show?about
music?wow. God really does come through
When we were done we headed back to the resort and took an
innocent shower,a really innocent shower. He kept touching my
belly for some reason saying some day a prince or princess will
grow in here and honestly he's scaring me. First it was his
grandmother and now it's him?
"Wear casual clothes" he appears behind me as I scan my belly
infront of the mirror. I stride over to my suitcase,making sure
my ass is shaking "stop it otherwise we're going to be late" he
says squinting his eyes,laughing at my actions
"Not even for 5 minutes baby?I promise you we'll be quick" I
say standing infront of him,touching his chest. Bear in mind that
we are both half naked, we're only in our underwears
"Well I promise you that when we get back,I'll be all yours. I just
know that this is important to you and you can't miss it for the
world" he says putting my hands in his
"Iyakuthanda indoda yakho yezwa mama?" I nod feeling the
fuzzy but warm feeling brewing in my stomach. How
bazalwane?how come he still gives me butterflies after two
whole years? I wear powder blue jeans,a black vest and a drop
shoulder hem oversized shirt,leaving the shirt open so my
cleavage could show. I got to enjoy my time before someone
says 'sukuma mkami bekubone' lol. Just imagine,a whole
me?getting married?awoa it can never be. I wear Gucci
sneakers which this man also bought because of me. He also
takes them out, indicating that he'll also be wearing them.
I go to the bathroom and apply natural make-up. I've only been
here for 10 minutes max but I'm sure I've peed more than 3
times. That's what drinking a lot of water does to you,freaken
loose bladder. I put on my blonde 15 inch weave,it's thin texture
falling on my shoulders as I brush it and apply the necessary
sprays. I walk back to the bedroom and he's not here. I puff his
perfume since mine smells like it has expired,I don't want to put
it in the bin though cause I worked for that money and it ain't
going to waste. I take my phone and take pictures,he appears
behind me and photo bombs as always. We end up taking some
great pictures together. He's wearing navy blue chino pants
with a white fitted shirt,the sleeves rolled up and a button
open. His hairy hands out on full display. A gold watch to match
the outfit and our famous Gucci sneakers
"You should go change" I say. He looks confused
"Why?" he asks
"Because you're too hot,girls will be all over you" I sulk while he
chuckles making me smile. I start taking a video of him while he
isn't looking and his reaction is the best. We head to the car and
I honestly love the Cape Town view.
"Could I be falling for you?
Is this a fantasy come true?
Is this a dream that I've waited for?
Am I the one that you adore?
Whoa, whoa
I think I'm falling for you
Whoa, whoa, whoa
What am I supposed to do?
'Cause you make me feel
Like I'm falling in love (am I falling for you?)
Could it be love, tell me, boy, Is it true?
I get a rush when I think about you
Lose control from my body and my soul
And when you hold me I don't want to let go
(You give me reason) you give me reason
Every reason just to love you babe (babe)
Everything that you do is so amazing
I can't believe what your body makes me wanna do
I'm having visions of me all over you
Could I be falling for you?
Is this a fantasy come true?
Is this a dream that I've waited for?
Am I the one that you adore?
Whoa, whoa
I think I'm falling for you
Whoa, whoa, whoa
What am I supposed to do?
'Cause you make me feel
Like I'm falling in love (am I falling for you?)" we jam along to
Tamia's song 'Falling for you' . He suddenly lowers the music. I
look at him expectantly
"I hope you love this surprise" he says as we drive into a gate
with a wide building which looks like a church. He parks under
the shade, gets out of the car and comes to my side to open the
door. We hold hands as we walk towards who I see as a lady.
Now that I notice, most of the windows of this place are
broken. The building is wearing off and the tiles on the roof
aren't red anymore, they are maroon. We get to this woman
who looks to be in her mid 40s, she's smiling while embracing
Thando in a hug. She also hugs me and wipes her tears. What's
going on? Her hug is warm and full of motherly love. Thando's
phone rings before anyone says a word
"Everything ready man?" he asks and pauses to listen "okay
sure" he drops the call
"Sthandwa sami this is Annita Longhole and ma this is my
beautiful girlfriend, Siyamthanda" I blush staring at my feet
"It's nice to finally meet you sweetheart,you're really as
beautiful as Thando described you"
"Thank you ma,what is this place if I may ask?" she gives me a
sad look, did I make her upset? "I'm sorry for making you
upset,I shouldn't have been so forward"
"Nee,my kind kom binne en kyk self (no my child come inside
and see for yourself)
"You've really heard a lot about me then" I say. We laugh while
she leads us inside.
62
Thandolwethu's pov:
I squeeze her hand for reassurance. Annita shows her the whole
place, basically taking her on a tour. We go to the backyard
where the kids and I have prepared a surprise for her
"Surprise!!!" they all scream excitedly. She puts her hand over
her mouth,taking everything in. I hug her as she starts crying.
Annita is here by our side and the children look hesitant but I
call them over to join the hug. They all gather around
us,wrapping their hands around each other
"This is a home for abandoned children and today your lovely
boyfriend wanted to surprise you by donating money and food
parcels to our home and multiple others because he said that's
what you wanted to do,help uplift the community. He's a great
man,you better keep him" Annita says rubbing her back as she
sniffs. She turns to hug some of the children. There are children
of all ages and all races. We move as the truck moves in to
deliver the parcels. The guys take them out and the other
women that help in the home come out to greet. We take
pictures with the children and they are happy since I decided to
do a braai for them so they could also feel appreciated
My phone rings as I'm looking at Siyamu talking to children who
look like they are in their mid teens
"Yeah what do you want?" I answer Neli's call
"I wouldn't talk to me like that if I were you" she says before
laughing
"Listen I'm busy right now,call later ye?"
"Thando!" I end the call. I don't have time for bullshit right now.
I just want to make my girlfriend happy. I walk over to her and
the children run off to get food.
"Thank you sthandwa sami but I wish it was my money" I
chuckle
"What's mine is yours" I say making her giggle
"You're so cheesy sometimes" the women come over,one of
them carrying something in their arms folded in a blanket. They
finally get to us,that's when I realise that it's a baby
"Can I hold her?" Siyamu asks
"It's a him" Annita says and we all laugh
"Well he's such a handsome young man" she takes him from
one of the women. I take a picture of her playing with him
under the shade of a big tree.
"His name is Musawenkosi,we found hin right after birth laying
next to a dustbin all alone. It was by the grace of God that we
found him,just like his name says. He is 5 months now and has
never been stronger" Annita announces. Siyamu starts wiping
her tears
"Like,I just don't understand how a person could bond with a
child for 9 months and then just leave them near a dustbin after
giving birth to them. It's just so cruel" she sniffs.I gently pull her
into my arms while wiping her tears,kissing her forehead in the
process. Whoever made waterproof make-up needs a gold
medal shame,she would look like she came out of a tornado.
By the time we left her eyes were red and puffy. We went back
to the resort. I open the car door for her,taking her hand and
kissing the back of it. She smiles
"Let's take a walk,shall we my lady?" I ask
"Oh yes my fair prince" she responds bowing. We laugh so
hard,we even forget that were surrounded by rich people who
demand silence,half of the reason why we're getting ugly looks
from some of the people. Do we care?hell no! I feel like it's so
important to get someone who matches your energy when
entering a relationship.
I take out my grey jacket from the boot,you know those extra
clothes you always have in the boot. I give it to my lady since it's
a bit chilly now. I'll just have to be strong
"We can always go inside to get you something to wear though"
she tries to protest
"But we'll miss the sunset and that's the best part so no,plus I'm
not that cold. Ngiyi ndoda phela mina(I am a man)"
"Thank you ke" she takes the jacket. I take it back
"Say it genuinely not with force,nobody is forcing you" she
shivers as the wind blows slightly stronger. She gives me her
puppy eyes
"Thank you baby" she says. I take her hand in mine and we walk
towards a path that leads to an open field. She's taking pictures
of the sunset as always. We find a spot on the grass and sit
down. Her back is on me while she's inbetween my legs. There
is a comfortable silence as we listen to nature. Only when it gets
darker do we decide to go inside. I'm sure she's tired but the
day isn't over yet. I want this weekend to be perfect for her. As
soon as I unlock the door,she throws herself on top of the bed
and heaves a big sigh. I lock the door again when we're inside. I
take off my shirt while she's taking off her make-up infront of
the mirror. Her eyes meet mine and she smiles. I take my shoes
and socks off and I walk to her. When I'm behind her she stops
to look at me with expectation in her eyes.
"Let's go take a bath" I whisper in her ear and her lips are
already slightly parted as if she was waiting for something to
happen. She gives me a cheeky smile
"I'll be there in a sec" she responds. My phone rings,I check the
caller ID and it's that bitch. She loves ruining things for me and
this time I'm not going to let her do it
"Ufunani?" I whisper as I walk out of the room
"Thando your child is hungry,what do you think your child is
eating while you're living lavishly there in Cape Town!?" she
shouts on top of her breath but I can also hear a crying baby in
the background. I guess she saw what I had posted. A picture of
me with the kids and I also tagged the location on Instagram
and Twitter
"Oh" I respond. She takes a deep breath
"Listen here I will..." I end the call. I don't have time for bullshit.
I find myself in the kitchen,that's how disturbing this girl is. I
turn around to find Siyamu looking at me thoughtfully
"Oh you better be thinking about me" she gives me a small
laugh. I wonder what's wrong now
"I wasn't listening to your conversation by the way" she quickly
says and the thought of her hearing me talking to Andiswa
about a child that's allegedly mine pops in my head "I just...
wanted to check if you're okay. Like is everything alright
because you're just down and it's making me feel sad" I take her
hand and lead her to the bedroom. Once again,a moment got
ruined by Andiswa. I couldn't wait to be all inside her. I sit on
the edge of the bed and pull her to sit inbetween my thighs. I
take her hand in mine and lock them together while my other
hand is resting on her waist
"I'm sorry about yesterday,this weekend is supposed to be
about you and you shouldn't be dealing with my tantrums. I'll
make it up to you okay?" I say looking at her. My phone rings
and I check the caller ID.
"Why is Andiswa calling you?" she asks looking at me straight in
the eye.
"Look sthandwa sami it's not what you think,just calm down
please"
"What do I think?why is your ex calling you Thandolwethu?"
she is already furious. She stands up to take her phone
"Baby please listen to me,she's not my girlfriend or side chick or
whatever" she diverts her eyes from her phone to look at me
"So why is she calling you Thandolwethu?" she asks through
gritted teeth. My phone rings again and she grabs it from me,
about to answer it
63
Thandolwethu's pov:
"Yeah wena sfebe(you whore)" she answers the call but pulls it
from her ear after a second "nxx she dropped the call, pussy"
she says tossing my phone on the bed "you,explain" she
demands ever so calmly while pointing at me
"There is nothing going on between her and I" I state. Instead of
responding she slowly unbuttons her shirt,looking all kinds of
sexy
"That's not enough to make me believe you. Why is she calling
you?" she asks again,this time taking off her shirt seductively.
"Remember the baby she lied about?" She takes off her jeans.
Now she's left in her undergarments only
"Yes, continue" she says while she unties the bra strap slowly. Is
this how she's going to punish me? because it is surely working
"She claims that the baby is mine and now she is demanding
that I send her money because my baby is hungry" I say the 'my'
using air quotes. Her babies bounce freely making me want to
suck them till some milk comes out
"So do you believe that the baby is yours?" she asks, playing
with her nipples and tilting her head backwards. I can feel
myself getting harder by the second. I stand up and pull her
waist to mine. She looks at me with lust all over her eyes
"You haven't answered me Thando" she says. I kiss her neck
going down to her breasts. She pushes me away slightly
"I'm in conflict with myself. I never really gave her a
chance,even though she was cheating on me I still had sex with
her without using protection" I say practically begging her with
my eyes. I'm being tortured here
"We'll have this conversation after I shower,don't follow me"
her ass bounces up and down as she walks to the bathroom. I
take my phone and create a story on Instagram. I wrote 'no man
guys,my girlfriend is so pretty' with a crying emoji and a white
heart emoji. I post it before walking after her to the bathroom. I
hear the shower running and I take off my pants along the
passage. I open the shower door and the steam hits my face.
Siyamu turns to me with a bored expression. I smile as I close
the shower door again. The hot water is relaxing as it hits my
skin. I scrub her back and she scrubs mine. Nobody talks to the
other,the loudest noise is the sound of the tension. She starts
humming a song I can't quite recall. I wish I could hum like
that,lol. I'm such a joke. Sangweni junior is painful from all this
torture
"Baby" I call out with a pain filled voice
"What?" she answers turning to look at me. Oh damn,she looks
so beautiful. I can't even explain the feeling I get when I look at
her. I love this woman so much,damnn
"Kub'hlungu(it's sore) sthandwa sami, please just one round" I
beg her, almost crying. She laughs at me,like this is funny when
it's not. She hangs her arm around my neck while her other
hand is on my chest. We share an intense moment just staring
at each other. "Uyavuma(do you agree) gummy bear?" I ask.
She raises her eyebrow, smiling sheepishly
"Gummy bear?oh wow dude" she says. She moves her fingers
across my chest area smoothly. I pull her closer to me until
we're skin to skin. I kiss her neck and she pushes me away "let
me take the lead" she breathes out
•••
"Baby you know we're going to hell, right?" she asks adjusting
her dusty pink silk short pyjamas. Her nipples look hella sexy
right now. I wear my Calvin Klein underwear and Adidas shorts
"Why are we going to hell?" I ask clearly confused about what
she's saying
"You've been eating the forbidden fruit before marriage and I've
been giving it to you" she says looking at me,I keep quiet for a
second trying to make sense of what she's saying. Uyahlanya
phela lo. I laugh when I finally get it,how does she even think of
these things?
"Oh right,we had sex before marriage. Is this your way of asking
me to marry you?"
"What?no!" she defends herself
"I know I'm hot and you want me all to yourself" I say biting on
my bottom lip
"Oh please,you're the ugliest frog I've ever met" she rolls her
eyes
"And you're the most beautiful princess I've ever seen. Plus you
know how the story goes. Leya cherry enhle yacabuza ixoxo
bese laba iprince eyishisa (that pretty girl kissed a frog and then
it became a handsome prince),so that's me and you"
"So basically uyavuma kuthi uyixoxo (you agree that you're a
frog)" she answers laughing. I roll my eyes ngoba akazi uhlekani
lo. I pull her towards the lounge and switch the TV on while she
takes a seat. I take her phone and connect it to the TV. I go to
my playlist,yes I have my own playlist in her phone. And if
you're wondering then yes,we know each other's passwords. I
start by playing Thandolwethu by Bucie and Kwesta. She smiles
while standing up and I pull her to my arms for a deep hug. The
song starts as we pull apart. She grabs the TV remote while I
grab the decoder remote. I place my phone on the stand,infront
of the TV and start recording
"They said we'll never make it" she sings
"We were going too far!" I carry on,going off tune
"But we went the distance you and I,and here we are,here we
are" we sing simultaneously. "I hope you still have patience to
try and reach for the stars, we're still trying to make it to the
sky,carry on carry on! uthandolwethu baby is amazing,we
sometimes don't deserve it"
"Noma bethi thina sizolahleka(even if they say we'll get
lost),love is navigating and we're almost home" she sings while
dancing by my side. Shaking her hips to the beat
"See love lives and love dies,and love forgives and love tries,and
love comes and love goes,and I love all of this love shown cause
bengingazi kungaba soh(I didn't know it could be this way).
Mangiye kasi sowu act(a) soh(when I go to our home
town,you're acting like this). My paintbrush,my heart felt the
paint dry mara iArt lento(but this is art). See I talk and you
speak,and I walk and you scream. I found you,I found love. You
found me,you found us" I rap Kwesta's verse with so much
confidence
"Ahy ahy I'm tired now" she says sitting down while the song is
still playing. I laugh
"Mxm wa bhora(you're boring)" she puts her feet on the coffee
table and sighs "are you tired?" she nods and I go back to our
bedroom to fish out the massage oils I secretly bought
yesterday. She's surprised when she sees me with them
because she's the one who usually does this to me. I sit on the
couch and she adjusts her body to face me. She puts her feet on
my thighs. A new song makes itself known to our ears as I
gently massage her left foot. She hums to the song 'When
house was house' by Mobi Dixon. I rub her right foot till I can
feel that my hands are aching. I look up to her and her eyes are
closed. She's had a long day and she deserves the rest. I check
the time and it's only 8pm. We didn't even get to talk about
that situation but it's fine. We'll do it later. I gently remove her
feet from my thighs and stand up. I switch off the TV and that's
when I realised that my phone was still recording,I switched it
off and put our phones in my pocket. I lift her up bridal style
and take her to bed. I gently put her on her feet so I could open
the bed. She rubs the sleep in her eyes. I put her in bed and kiss
her forehead. She turns to the other side as she closes her eyes
again.
Her phone rings and I check the caller ID. It's Sandile. I answer
"Siyamu. Listen we've got to hit this club some time when
you're back,it's lit dawg" he says and that's when I know he's
drunk
"Sho Sandile mfethu" I answer and he laughs
"Baby we're waiting for you" I hear a voice in the background
"Is that Buhle?" I ask curiously because it surely didn't sound
like her
"No man I'm enjoying my life before marriage,getting married is
like getting locked up man" he says and to say I'm shocked
would be lying. I honestly expected this even if I hoped it
wouldn't happen
"Go home man" I tell him
"No dude,you should also live your life before you get locked
up. I know how much you love your meddie,I love mine too but
bro you only live once!" he shouts and hangs up. What the fuck
is he thinking?I'm not going to cheat on Siyamu intentionally
just because I only live once. I take off my shorts and get into
bed. I wrap my arms around her as warmth follows after the
small gesture
•••
Someone is shaking me and they're disturbing my peaceful
sleep. I'm a light sleeper so I value sleep very much
"Mmh" I manage to say without opening my eyes
"Baby vuka(wake up)" she sniffs after saying that. I open my
eyes and she's crying. I sit up, I'm sure my confusion is written
all over my face
"What's happening sthandwa sami? Why ukhala ebsuku? (are
you crying at night)" I ask her
"I'm so hungry baby,I want wings" she says and sniffs. I
chuckle,this must be some type of joke
"Don't worry, you'll get then in the morning" I say getting back
under the covers. She wails out loud,I sit back up again and
engulf her in a hug
"You don't care about me! All you care about is your stupid
sleep,I said I'm hungry but you just want to sleep. Just date your
sleep and I'll leave you alone" she says making me laugh
"Stop sulking baby,I'll get someone to get them for you"
"No,you must go get them" I literally let her go and look at her
in disbelief. I check the time on my phone and it's 11pm
"yes,don't look at me like that. I want you to show me you care
about me" she wipes her tears
"But baby it's dark and cold outside" I protest. She starts crying
again. I stand up to grab her a tissue,as much as I'm annoyed I
still love her so much and I don't want any tears on her
beautiful face. I wear my tracksuits,take my wallet and phone
"Chicken Licken please,oh damn!" she shouts and I assume she
has lost in her game. I walk to my car and the cold wind makes
itself known so I start running. I get there and immediately turn
the air-conditioner on. That feels better. There must be an
explanation for her behaviour. Ngeke phela hawu. I drive to the
nearest Chicken Licken and it's 15 minutes away. I order through
the 'Fly thru' as they call it but it's the longest drive through I've
ever been to. I'm literally the only person here but they're
taking so long
"Oh my,are you not DJ Siyamu's ex boyfriend? What's your
name again?Thando!yes" this girl squeals and another one
appears behind her
"It's that YouTube guy,oh my gosh I definitely love you" she says
and a guy appears behind the two ladies
"Listen here,you came here to work not keep customers
waiting. If I see or hear about this again,you will be begging me
for your jobs back. Now get back to work" he shouts and the
other girl scatters off to somewhere. "I'm sorry about that
sir,my staff isn't used to celebrities"
I chuckle "you deserve a raise my man. I'm even going to add a
tip just because of what you did" he smiles
"Thank you sir" I nod while driving forward. I pay and as
promised I added a R200 tip. Her wings smell so divine. I take
one and look at it, admiring the sight before me before ripping
it's contents apart. I do the same to the second one and then I
reprimand myself. The Mrs will be angry. I arrive and I jog
inside. I can hear the TV so I go to the lounge and I don't find
anyone. I switch the TV off and check the bedroom. Wow,she's
actually sleeping and she's clearly forgotten about her little
cravings. I would understand if she was pregnant but she isn't. I
put the wings in the fridge and make my way to bed. I check the
time before sleeping,it's already the next day. I gently kiss her
forehead
"Happy birthday sthandwa sami" I whisper and fall back into the
sweet embrace of sleep.
64
Siyamu's pov:
I answer my ringing phone as I rub the sleep in my eyes
"Hello" I answer
"Happy birthday to youuuu! Happy birthday to youuuu! Happy
birthday dear Siyamthanda, happy birthday to you! Hip hip
hooray"I hear voices sing and I immediately know that it's my
mom and little sis. One of the reasons I'm glad I don't live with
mom anymore,this woman will literally wake you up just to sing
happy birthday for someone
"Thank you guys" I yawn while smiling as if they see me
"Don't tell me you're still sleeping Siyamthanda Tshabalala" she
screams over the phone. I take it away from my ear for a
moment as I feel the migraine coming at me at 160 miles per
hour
"Haa ma, I'm always working. Don't I deserve the rest even on
my birthday?" I sulk
"You better not be with a man because your sister told me
you're in Cape town" my little sister is such a blabber mouth. I
shouldn't have told her I'm in Cape town, atleast I didn't tell her
who I'm with. I keep quiet for a moment
"Thank you guys,I have to bounce now" we say our goodbyes
and i end the call. There's 4 missed call from Buhle, dramatic
much. If it was an emergency she would have called once. I
check the time and it's 7am. The bed is cold though,there's no
snoring neither a heavy hand on my small ribcage. I turn over to
find a bouquet of sunflowers with a card attached to them.
There's also a plate wrapped up,so curious me looks at what's
inside. It's a chocolate cake written 'happy birthday sthandwa
sami' ! I smile warmly at the sight,before my eyes land on Lindt
chocolates. I take a picture of the beautiful sight infront of me. I
post it on my Instagram story,replying and reposting those who
said happy birthday and sent their wishes. Not all of them
though,I haven't got time or the energy to do that. I go to
Twitter and I am receiving notifications about being mentioned
in Katlego's post. I want to see this myself
'happy birthday to the love of my life,the life of the party
@siyamu the djay' I laugh and reply with 'it's over Katlego(with
an emoji that's rolling it's eyes) you didn't even get me a
present' so Katlego is the guy from Umlazi who came to me
backstage and promised me he'll marry me because he loves
me,little did I know people were talking videos so he went viral
and he's been my fake boyfriend ever since
'but I love you and that's all that matters' he replys to my
reply. I laugh and thank everyone who wished me a happy
birthday. I remember something,I look up at the bouquet of
sunflowers and grab the card. I open it with ease, already
knowing what I'll find inside,well that being money cause this
guy breathes through the wound when I don't let him spoil me.
A small picture of myself when I was a baby catches my eye on
the left side of the card. I hate this picture so much and Thando
knows this,he did this on purpose. *rolls my eyes while smiling*
The other half of the card is written 'baby I was needed at the
office. Happy birthday and I'm sorry I couldn't wake up next to
you but I'll make it up to you,I promise. Go take a relaxing bath
and wear your ' there's a word scratched out and when I look
closer it's written 'bikini' after the scratched out word his
sentence continues ' swimming costume that will cover your
thighs,we don't want sunburn,now,do we? I love you'
I laugh,he doesn't want me to wear a bikini because he's
jealous of how other gents will look at me. I sit up and video call
Buhlebendalo. It rings while I open up my chocolate cake,I close
my eyes as I savour the taste. I'm eating it with my hands,I
know, unsanitary but what would you have done seeing your
favourite type of cake here and there's no utensils. Exactly my
point
"Happy birthdaaaayyyy to your motherfucking arssssse that was
screwed by Thando yesterdaaaayyyy. Happy birthdaaaayyyy to
youuuuuu" Buhle brings me out of my chocolate cake trance
with her horrible singing and what the hell is she singing?
"Umsindo ongaka ekseni(so much noise in the morning),you
sound like you're the one who's been fucked" she gives me a
naughty smile "eeeeuw Ndalo don't tell me about it"
"Ahy I wasn't going to tell you. I don't click with nosy people" I
click my tongue while laughing "so bestie,I wanted to say happy
birthday to the most wonderful girl I've ever met,well after my
daughter but yeah" I laugh cause that little cute demon stole
my space in my best friend's heart " don't let anyone and I
mean anyone change you,the real you. Don't stop being
kind,rude and crazy" I gasp and she rolls her eyes. She's the
mean one njalo " today is the day a queen was born. A
beautiful,loving girl that always has space in her heart. I know
you'll have a great day and I trust you to make the most of
25!pupupupuuuuu! I love you mother of my daughter" tears
drop from my eyes and I wipe them
"Thank you baby and I love you too" we say our goodbyes and
end the call. I sniff. I see a figure at the corner of my eye,I look
up and Thando is looking at me,his face shows no emotion. His
hands are folded infront of his chest and he's leaning against
the bedroom wall
"Who were you talking to?" his voice comes out stern. I want to
honestly laugh but knowing him, he'll probably sulk the whole
day and I don't want that, especially today
"uBuhlebendalo"
"Happy birthday sthandwa se nhliziyo yami" he smiles walking
towards me. Yeah ne. He removes the dirty chocolate cake plate
from my thighs,lifts me up with no hassle,I wrap my legs around
his waist while he clutches my waist tight with his big arms. My
arms go around his neck. He smiles at me
"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear baby" he sings and
I laugh. I catch a whiff of his scent and it is awful.
"What is that smell?mh mh mh put me down" I say wriggling
out of his arms. He lets me go and stares at his feet "go take a
shower,you smell like a dead animal. Did you go to work?or did
you go hunting instead?"
"I'm sorry" he utters taking off his t-shirt. It's only at this
moment that I realise that he's wearing all black,but it's so hot.
My eyes run down his whole body,from head to toe. His
sneakers,why the fuck do they have blood
"Why do you have blood on your sneakers?" I ask already letting
my tears roll down my cheeks. I don't even know why I'm crying
because he hasn't said anything. He looks at me,straight in the
eye. His eyes show sorrow,worry and hurt
"I killed someone" he utters. We both keep quiet for a moment.
I sniff
"Why did you do it?" I simply ask. I want to be there for him
every step of the way. He wasn't born a natural killer,his heart
says it all
"He was going to kill me if I didn't kill him first"
"Are you lying to me?" he sighs loudly,looking defeated
"Why would I lie to you?you're my everything and I don't want
to lose you that's why I have to kill anyone who dare tries to
harm you in any way" his voice is low and sounds tired.
Wait,what?so this is about me?
"What do you mean by that?" I ask. He takes off his sneakers
before also taking off his trackpants. I wipe my tears
"Let me go take a shower" with that said,he walks away. I can't
help but think about what he just said. I go back into
bed,putting my phone on silent. I need this nap.
65
Siyamu's pov:
"Do you want people to think I'm pregnant?" I ask him. We've
been going back and forth on what I should wear to the beach.
He wants me to wear a one piece swimsuit but I'm going to
wear what I feel looks sexy on me. I take out my black Louis
Vuitton bikini top along with the bikini bottom. Over it,I wear
black high waist sheer mesh cover up pants. They are kind of
like see through pants to wear over your bikini. This whole time
he's looking at me with his arms crossed over his chest. He is
still dripping wet from the steamy bath we had after our short
nap. The towel around his waist making it harder to fantasize
about him.
Okay now that I'm done getting dressed,what shoes should I go
for? I grab my beige Louis Vuitton slides. I turn around to find
him laying on the bed taking pictures of me with my snoopie.
Awoa bathong this man.
"Your wings are in the fridge" he says and I instantly feel a pang
of guilt in my heart. I didn't sleep on purpose though
"Ngiyabonga sthandwa sami" I respond and he gives me a
toothy smile. I strut over to the bathroom to do something with
my hair. I put on my 30 inches Brazilian weave,it's a brownish-
black colour. No make-up for me because it is hella hot today. I
put on a beige Louis Vuitton bucket hat over it. They should
make me the brand ambassador of this brand. I apply some lip
liner on the edges of my lips,before putting some lipgloss on.
Right! now to put on my boyfriend's cologne. I walk back to the
bedroom and find him dressed in grey Nike shorts,a black and
white Balenciaga t-shirt and Hugo Boss slides. Mmh,does he not
look like a snack right now?
"Waze wamuhle maTshabalala. Unkulunkulu wayebukisa
ngenkathi ekhanda wena. Ngiyakuthanda yezwa?(you're so
beautiful maTshabalala. God was showing off when he created
you. I love you,okay?)" he tells me bringing me closer to him
"Nami ngiyakthanda Manzezulu" I reply and he starts dancing
while whistling. I giggle at the sight. All this because of a clan
name?
"Manje mina ngikuqabule kanjani unalento emlonyeni?(now
how should I kiss you when you've got this thing on your
mouth?)" he sulks. I take out my phone to take mirror pictures
and as always,he ends up in most of them. We drive out to the
beach. He receives a call and I assume he answers it. I'm too
engrossed in this game to even notice
"Hey baby" my eyes dart over to him " yeah she's here with me"
silence" you want to talk to her?" he gives me the phone and I
check the caller ID and it's written 'mom'
"Uhm... hello?" I manage to say but I'm fucking nervous
"Hey mom" my heart melts to her sweet little voice "happy
birthday,enjoy"
"Thank you sthandwa sami, I'll make sure I enjoy it"
"Did daddy buy you a gift?" she asks
"Yes baby he did"
"Okay I've got to go now mom,I love you" I smile
"I love you more" I say and then she hangs up. I wonder what
she's about to do
"We're here" I look up and my eyes are met by beautiful blue
waves dancing on clear sand. This beach looks secluded that's
why it seems so clean. He parks the car and jogs over to my side
to open the door for me. We walk down a path,hand in
hand,leading us to an area of docks. I see yachts,ships, speed
boats and regular boats in the far distance. We walk over to this
beautiful,big white yacht. A guy wearing a waiter's uniform
greets us before ushering us in
"This is so beautiful" he smiles at my words. I know he is proud
of himself. I sit on the curved couch with a round table in the
centre. Ndo sits across me. The waiter brings over a bottle of
champagne in some ice and a cold beer for the mate. He pops
the cork and fills my glass. I thank him and he goes back to their
kitchen or whatever it's called. I can see this thing slowly
moving away from land. I know I love water but fuck,this is
scary
"Manje vele I don't get to choose what I drink?" I ask looking at
him. He takes a sip of his beer
"Angithi you always choose nonsense" I chuckle. Me?
nonsense?
"Give me that beer" I say putting down my glass and taking his
beer from his hold. I take a sip,down my throat it goes " no
actually, champagne is fine" he laughs at my reaction
"Your face says it all" he says making me roll my eyes. "woza la
(come here)" he pats the space next to him. I scooch over to his
side and his hand snakes its way around my waist. He pecks my
neck and I close my eyes savouring the moment. What did I do
to deserve all of this? I take out my phone to take pictures of
myself with bae. I go back to the other side and he takes
pictures of me alone,I also take pictures of him alone. I call back
everyone who's call I missed because my phone was on silent.
The waiter comes back with a food platter. He puts it on the
table infront of us
"Plateau de fruits de mer consisting of baby crabs,baby
lobsters,shrimps,oysters and prawns along with mignonette
sauce, cocktail sauce and lemon. Enjoy" he says and leaves. I
stare at Thando as he digs in
"We haven't prayed" I squint my eyes
"Pray quickly,ngilambile phela(I'm hungry)" he says closing his
eyes. Haa Zulu men
"God bless the food we are about to eat. Bless the mouths that
will eat this food,in your holy name,amen" I pray and he carries
on eating
"Thando why though?" I ask. He looks up at me,looks back at
the platter,looks up at me again and smiles
"Because one way or another you'll have to get over your fear
of trying seafood mi lady and if you don't like it we'll order you
something else" he says,takes a shrimp,dips it in cocktail sauce
and pops it in my mouth. After a few seconds I start chewing
and it's actually really good. He smiles,taking a prawn and
dipping it in mignonette sauce before putting it in my mouth
again. My taste buds are overcome with this new feeling. These
are good. He picks up a crab
"Don't you want to try me?" the tiny crab he is carrying says
"No no,I'll puke if I try you Mr Crabs" he laughs at me. I'm not
about to eat that thing that was swimming in people's pee and
stuff "baby I want buffalo wings" he rolls his eyes at me. Oh
really now?
" I knew it" he says before calling out for the waiter. He orders
that with another bottle of wine since I finished the bottle of
champagne alone. I don't know whether I want to get drunk or
what. My buffalo wings arrive along with my wine. I dig in as
soon as the smell hits my nostrils. When I'm done I look up and
a camera is aiming at my face. I'm sure I've got sauce on my
face. Land is now nowhere to be seen
"Where is the bathroom?" I ask him. He stands up and takes my
hand. We go down this door and pass three closed doors on my
right before he opens the first one on the left. He enters the
bathroom with me
"I want to take a dump!get out" I try pushing him out but he
doesn't budge
"Take a dump infront of me. Are you hiding things from me
now?" I laugh. This nigga can't be serious. I look in the mirror
and there isn't much damaged. I just need to apply my lipgloss
again so I do that and we are out. He takes my hand,leading me
up the stairs outside. We get to the top of the yacht where
there is a bed-like couch with pillows. The breeze is nice and
cold up here. He puts our beverages on the little table next to
the couch. I get on the couch and he follows,I put my head in
his chest,he put his arm under my neck while the other one is
on top of his stomach. He adjusts his cap
"Let's play a game" he suggests
"Okay,what is it?" I ask putting my arms around his waist
"We ask each other questions and the amount of questions not
answered is how many rounds we'll do tonight" I laugh
"Uyahlanya (you're crazy). All you think about is popping my
cherry"
"You come up with a better one then" he says
"Let's go to the kitchen" He gives me a smile before we stand
up,leaving our shoes there. I giggle as we tiptoe to the kitchen
"Sshh" he hushes me when my laugh gets louder. We walk in,
checking the coast. I open the smoothie maker. I put in
ice,Thando puts in a chunk of hot sauce. I add some milk. He
looks for something in the fridge while I open the cupboards. I
take out vinegar and put a lot of it in. He puts in pieces of raw
shrimps and cracks some eggs. I find apple juice in the fridge
and pour a lot of it in. I close the smoothie maker and switch it
on. We giggle as we fist bump each other
"Operation look for shot glasses is a go" I whisper to him and
we start looking in the cupboards. I find them and take two
"What is going on in here?" who I think is the manager or the
boss walks in. I switch off the smoothie maker. We're like kids
caught with their hands in the cookie jar
"We were just leaving,right babe?" Thando responds while I
pour our mix into a jug. He takes the shot glasses while I take
the jug with the mix. Did I tell you this whole time he was taking
a video?well yeah that's how being with a youtuber is. We run
out as this guys gives us a disapproving look. We laugh our
asses off when we get to the top
"This was your idea" he says holding his stomach,trying to catch
his breath
"But you went on with it" I say putting the mix into the shot
glasses. "so if you can't answer a question,you drink this" he
makes a face and I laugh
"Okay I'll start,what's your body count?" he asks and my eyes
pop out
"Ayibo why do you want to know?" I ask laughing
"Because you're so fucking tight and also because this is a
game"he answers
"Don't laugh at me"I eye him "two,just two" his jaw drops
"I'm actually proud of you but I should've gotten your
innocence not that fool of a soccer player" he says rolling his
eyes
"My turn!" I shout to avoid this conversation " what is the one
regret you would have if you were to die today?"
"Not marrying you" as if he was on cue to answer. I laugh,stupid
fool
"Cheesy much huh" I say,he smirks
"But honestly I want to marry the love of my life" he says
looking at me. I blush under his gaze. I want to marry him one
day too,just not so soon "if you were to die now,what song
would you want to be played at your funeral?"
"Haa why are we talking about death now?" I ask laughing,he
chuckles " if I die young,a cover sang by Lloyiso"
"I'll make sure to play it before you haunt me" I laugh,I probably
would
"At what age would you want to get married?" I ask him
"In my early thirties when I still have my six pack because after
that I'm becoming a dad bot" I laugh at his stupidity,the way he
takes out his anger at the gym he'll never stop going there
"Let me sleep ke manje" I tell him closing my eyes.
"Do you trust me?" He asks me. I nod while my eyes are still
closed. He opens my mouth slightly with his thumb. I'm
awaiting a kiss but I feel a cold liquid in my mouth,it's fucking
hot and oh why the fuck did I put in so much vinegar. My eyes
shoot open,I swallow once and gag all of this. I pull my glass of
wine and gulp it down. I look at him as he laughs his ass off. I
know God definitely blessed this man with stupidity. I walk over
to the kitchen and drink some water,a lot of water. When I walk
back to where we were sitting he starts laughing again. I roll my
eyes and sit back down. I lay on his chest again and it's vibrating
because of all the laughing. As he finally stops,his phone rings.
He takes it our of his pocket. I don't exactly hear what he says
because I'm so fucking drowsy
He pulls me closer to him,holding me tightly "what's going on?"
"With what?" he asks me
"You always do that when you're stressed"
"Do what?" the dumber he acts,the bigger the problem
"Come on now,you're literally squeezing the life out of me. You
know a problem shared is a problem half solved,right?" I look
up at him and smile. He sighs before giving me a half smile
"Dad got arrested,again! And now he wants me to catch the
nearest flight to bail him out and by bail I mean bribing an
officer to make the docket dissapear. It's always me,it is always
me baby. This is so unfair. If he isn't doing it to Bayanda,he is
doing it to me and if not me it's Ntokozo. I know he's my father
but I hate him so much" he stops and looks at me " I'm sorry,I'm
such a blabber mouth. This is supposed to be you-" I stop him
mid-sentence
"What's the point of even enjoying this moment when one of us
isn't fine?blab on sthandwa sami. I want to hear it" I reassure
him,locking our hands together
"If I could choose a father,it wouldn't be him honestly. My mom
is such an angel but him?he is a wolf in sheep's clothing. He
could die for all I care"
"If you don't want to,then,don't go. This is your life,not his so
make the best of it. I love you" I hold his face,his eyes stare back
into mine,full of adoration
"I love you moree" he tells me. Making me feel that tingling
sensation in my stomach
66
Thandolwethu's pov:
I take off the weave that she had put on and put it on the floor. I
rub her back as she coughs
"We could postpone the date,we could always do it some other
time. Don't you want me to call a doctor?"
"Thandolwethu just shut up!" she snaps. Why is she shouting at
me for? she starts to vomit again. I grab a glass of water. She
rinses her mouth before gulping the water in one go "this is
your fault" she starts crying "if you didn't make me eat seafood
we wouldn't be here now"
"Maybe it's just a stomach bu-" she puts her hand in my face
"I don't want to hear it"
"Okay, ngyaxolisa ke" I say walking out of the bathroom. I sit on
the bed and heave a big sigh. Siyamthanda is actually driving
me crazy these days. Why does she always shout at me?and the
waking me up just so I could buy her food?ahy ahy we've got to
talk about this. She walks in and her eyes are puffy. She knows I
don't like it when she cries. I stare at her as she looks at me like
she wants to put a bullet in my head
"Where are my wings?" she asks and she's not even laughing. I
thought this was a joke
"Hlala phansi(sit down)" I command. She walks away to the
kitchen I guess. I was right because I hear the microwave going.
I put on my sneakers and I pull on my jacket. She comes back
with the wings ,sitting next to me "let's go"
"I thought you wanted us to talk?"she questions
"Siyamthanda you've got to get it together" I stand up and she
starts eating her wings "you're always shouting at me these
days,do we not respect each other now?"
"But baby I-" she tries to speak
"When I talk,you listen" she nods "Siyamthanda you can't
always cry when I say something to you. That thing you've
started that makes you want fast food at night must stop,today.
Now please can we enjoy our night without drama?" she nods. I
open my arms for a hug and she places her wings on the bed.
She stands up and snuggles me like her teddy bear. I smack her
ass cheek and she giggles "get dressed" she opens both her
suitcases. I take my phone out and there are multiple missed
calls from Ntokozo and some from Dladla,the officer we always
bribe. I'm sure dad was trying to get to me. I look up and she's
wearing a white long sleeve shirt dress with a Gucci belt around
her waist and the two top buttons undone. She paired that
with white push in heels. That's what they're called I think. She
looks stunning
"We can't go out with you looking that sexy" I tell her and she
laughs
"Thank you for the compliment,you look dashing yourself Mr
Sangweni" she responds sarcastically. We take what we need
and then we're on our way out. We arrive to at the venue. I
park the car and we make our way into the restaurant. A
waitress is waiting for us at the door
"Welcome to Club Marine Mr and Mrs Sangweni. Please follow
me" the girl smiles. I look over at Siyamu as I put my hand in
hers.
"Wipe that smirk off your face" she says making me burst out
laughing. We follow the waitress. There are people in this
restaurant and it is not a high-class restaurant. It's just normal. I
know that she loves that. We walk over to a secluded table
outside. The table is decorated with different types of flowers. I
can't name them cause I'm not a fan but this is beautiful. The
view includes the beach. I can see the beach from here and the
moon shining over the water looks so cool. We take our seats
and the waitress takes our orders. She ordered for herself this
time
"I can't believe you planned this whole weekend alone" she
sarcastically says squinting her eyes
"Can't you just thank me without dissing me?" I roll my eyes
"Let me call the twins and ask them which one of them actually
helped you"
"Uyabhora. It was both of them" she laughs while shaking her
head
"But thank you" she smiles and I mirror her smile "stand up so I
could take pictures of you" she grabs my phone ontop of the
table.
"No,you stand up" I argue. She rolls her eyes and stands up. She
poses and I take pictures of her. She pulls me up and I hug her
while she's taking a selfie. The waitress comes back with our
drinks and I ask her to take pictures of the both of us and she
actually does. We sit down and I decided to check my
Instagram. Siyamu posted a picture of herself in that bikini
earlier. The caption is '25 never looked better' I like that picture
and go through the comments and a lot of celebrities are
wishing her a happy birthday. 'SnothandoG - I wish you were
still mine' is the comment that caught my eye though. Siyamu
replied saying 'Snothando please,not today' and now people
are reacting to those two comments. Suddenly they just
dissapear,that means that she just deleted them now. This dude
is getting on my nerves. First he gets people to follow us and
now he's re-shooting his shot? I go through my baby's story and
I see a video of her on my chest but my face is actually not
showing. This thing of hiding our relationship is draining
"Cheers to 25 years of life" she says as we click glasses. The
waiter comes back with our food. So I ordered medium rare
steak and she ordered lamb shank with potato mash. We say
grace and dig in,halfway through our meals we exchange plates.
A habit we've gotten accustomed to. After eating,we enjoy
some adult drinks with the conversation flowing smoothly.
"Let's go to the beach again, please" she begs
"Fine,finish your glass and then we can go" I say and she gulps
down her glass of wine. I finish my beer and I go settle the bill.
We walk to the beach and halfway there she stops. I look at her
confused. She takes off her heels as we're about to walk in the
sand and I take off my sneakers
"Please baby,I'm tired" she says opening her arms. Don't tell me
that she actually wants me to carry her "sthandwa sami I'm full
and I can't do this anymore"
"Haa haa Siyamthanda" I complain but actually carry her on my
back as she carries our shoes in her hands while her bag is
around my neck. She's actually a tad bit heavier than her
normal heavy. We, actually, I walk us the rest of the way. She
gets off me and runs towards the water. I follow her. She left our
shoes far from the water. She kicks the water and it splashes on
me. I gasp dramatically and run after her. Obviously I catch her
because she has short legs. I pull her closer to me by her waist
and she puts her tiny hands on my face. She smiles and I smile
back. The water hits our feet and it is so cold
"I feel like we're in a movie or something like that" she says
"I knew it,I low-key knew you would say something that doesn't
make sense" we laugh. I wouldn't trade this for the world.
67
Siyamu's pov:
"Welcome to The Music News baby girl" Sandile shouts and
everyone in the room follows. It's the sound team,camera
crew,my co-host,the producer and many more. I just signed the
contract and I'm about to do my first ever show here. I'm given
a glass of champagne and I drink it while mastering the "thank
you's" from the "congratulations"
"I guess congratulations are in order" he says making me turn
around. My co-host,Sanele Mbatha. Yes,Nomzamo Mbatha's
brother. I smile
"Thank you fellow colleague" I say and we laugh
"We're already there?" he asks and I nod. My stylists take me to
my prep room. I get dressed up in dark blue jean shorts,black
combat boots and a white off shoulder shirt. They did my make
up and fixed my blonde bob weave. The photographer takes
pictures of Sanele and I, together on stage before the show
starts. I'm not even nervous because I'm used to people and the
camera around me. We shoot with a minimum of two breaks in-
between. It's just a 5 minute show. We are only needed once a
week also. We're in the last week of December now so it's hella
busy for me. I haven't seen Thando since my birthday and that's
how busy we get. We went on the London Tour which went
well,it was only a five day stay though so we came back just in
time for the show. I change back into my clothes and we leave
once again,to another gig. As soon as we're out of Durban,we
stop at the nearest petrol station so I can change into my event
clothing. I put on black leather pants,a white graphic hoodie
with Biggie Smalls on it over my bra and white Louis Vuitton
sneakers. We get back on the road and they fix my make up
when we get to Pietermaritzburg. It's 8pm by the time we get
here and it's packed. Thando calls me with his international
phone number because he's out of the country,to do some
'business'
"Sthandwa sami" he says
"Hey baby,can we talk later because I'm about to go do a gig
right now?" I answer. I really want to talk to him but I can't let
all of those people inside there down. In already late
"Alright,call me when you're done" I hang up and go to stage. I
do my thing,also getting off stage to dance a little. When we're
done we drive off to Dundee. We stop at Steers to get food. I
call Thando while the gents I'm riding with are inside. Sandile
being part of the team
"MaMshengu" he answers while yawning
"When are you coming back baby?" I ask
"I'm on my way there right now. I'm so tired. Have you eaten?"
"We're getting food now,the gents went inside. Should I let you
sleep because you sound tired?"
"No I want to talk to you" he responds and I laugh. Love will kill
this one
"No hawu,go sleep. I'm not going anywhere. I love you"he sulks
for a while before actually telling me he loves me too. We hang
up so he can rest. After a few minutes the guys come back with
our burgers,chips and milkshakes. We eat on our way to
Dundee. We got there at 11pm and I perform till 2am but we
leave at 5am because oh well we just had to drink. My feet are
killing me. I'm happy this is the last gig for the week and the
year. I spend Christmas and New Year with my families. I don't
care how much money I could make,they matter the most.
That's literally the one time everyone is all together. We go to
the BnB we booked at and went to our separate rooms.
I don't know when I fell asleep but I'm woken up by constant
knocking. Yho yho Sandile marn. Who else could it be? I wake
up to open the door and I'm wearing my gown over yesterday's
clothes. Yeah ne,the manager's we have. He walks in with the
rest of the team. They are about to make my room theirs,watch.
"Go take a shower because we're leaving in 30 minutes" Sandile
says and I drag my feet to the bathroom. When I get to the
bathroom I actually feel the salty liquid running up my throat. I
lean on the bathroom sink as I let it all out. Sandile rushes
through the bathroom door along with Mbali,our new
photographer. They both rub my back as I wash the damn thing
away
"Alcohol is not for me" I say and they laugh at me
"It's not for kids" Mbali comments and I pout. They leave after
making sure I'm okay and I take a bath. I call my boo to make
sure he's okay but he doesn't answer my calls so I let him be.
After breakfast, we're on the road again but this time I'm going
home. We get to Durban a little after 3pm and I immediately
rush to my appointment with Dr Myeza. I have to get my shots. I
park and go inside. It doesn't look busy today so I'm in her
office in no time
"Mrs Sangweni" she says. Kodwa Thandolwethu and his thing of
telling people we're married
"Let my brother hear you say that while he received nothing" I
joke and she laughs. I sit down
"So you're here for the shots right?" she asks and I nod
"But the bloating hasn't gone down and it's been weeks" I tell
her
"Mmh,okay let's just do the normal procedure for the shots and
then we'll get to the bloating" I nod again and take the
container I have to urinate in. I take the container back to her
and she dissapears off somewhere with it. I try calling this man
again but still nothing. Dr Myeza comes back with pieces of
paper and sits down
"You'll make a great mom,you know that?I'm so glad Thando
chose you" she says confusing the hell out of me. What is she
talking about? Why is she even talking about me becoming a
mom?
68
Siyamu's pov:
"What do you mean by that?" I ask. She smiles. Anyways the
other day I found out that the hot gangster doctor that was
helping Thando after the whole Kyle situation is her husband
"My husband and I have known Thando for years now, since
high school. He's been a player ever since but now we're seeing
a different side of him" she pauses. Why is she telling me all of
this?ahy wasting my precious time. I could be packing right now
"That bitch Londi got to carry his first child" she continues
"Oh she's really a bitch" I interrupt and she laughs
"But I'm honestly glad you'll get to carry his second" she smiles.
I pause for a moment not believing what I'm hearing
"congratulations Mrs Sangweni,you are 11 weeks pregnant" she
carries on
"Please stop" I feel the hot tears drop from my eyes. Her face
drops "if it's a prank please stop. I don't even think I'll ever have
my own child because of what happened to me so please
stop!it hurts"
"No no no,don't cry please. I have also never had a case like this
in my 6 years of gynaeism. A rare case of uteranius growth. Your
uterus was torn and every time you conceived,you were going
to miscarry and the baby wasn't going to last that long. Your
uterus must have closed itself up which is something that
doesn't happen. It has only happened to 1 of 10 women around
the world. You should've lost the baby at 3-6 weeks " I wipe my
tears and touch my belly. Is that why the bloating won't go
down?
"Can we do an ultrasound just to be sure?" I ask and she nods.
We walk to the other side of the room. I lay on the bed as she
has asked me to. I pull my top up and pull down my tights a
little. She squirts the cold gel on my stomach and I shiver. She
mouths a sorry. I smile,acknowledging it. She moves that thing
she uses to hear the heartbeat. I see my organs mina nje,this is
all just a joke
"Look that's the head" she says smiling and I honestly can't
believe this woman. I let her be,God will deal with her. A 'dum
dum' sound makes itself known "well would you look at that,a
strong heart beat" making my heart leap. I start taking a video,is
all of this actually true?all the vomiting and crying,cravings and
mood swings?I was pregnant all along?
"this baby will have a big head,just like the baby's father" I say
and we laugh. I start to wipe the tears that are falling. I'm
actually pregnant. She wipes the gels off my belly,gives me the
list of prenatal pills I need to go and buy and gives me a printed
sonogram. I walk out to my car with a smile. Someone grabs my
arm gently from behind and makes me turn around. What the
hell is he doing here?is he stalking me?
"I thought you said we will have our first child together" he says
"I was 15!can't you just let this go!?"
"Baby how do you know this isn't my child?" he asks
"The mother always knows" I respond
"Do the math honey" he kisses my cheek and walks away. How
did he know I'm pregnant?
"Snothando!Snothando" I shout but he doesn't turn back.
Instead he carries on walking to his car. I get into my car and
drive to the pharmacy to buy the prenatal pills. After that I drive
back to my apartment. I park next to Thando's car,he's about to
do some explaining. I open my already unlocked door and walk
in. He's just sitting there watching the news. Suddenly a bolt of
joy runs through my whole body.
"Hey baby,I've got something to tell you". he looks at me not
saying anything. He doesn't look happy to see me "is everything
okay?" I ask before closing the door. I take a seat besides him
"Why are you being seen with Snothando?" he asks and I laugh.
"Oh it was nothing, actually it's about what I want to tell you"
"You want to tell me that you're cheating on me with him?" he
asks trying to keep his calm
"Is that what you think of me?every time I'm seen with a male
you're going to assume I'm cheating on you!?grow up
Thandolwethu man" I shout
"Don't raise your voice at me!" he roars banging the coffee
table and I jump up from the fright. Tears fall down from my
face. I take out a copy of the sonogram from my bag and shove
it in his chest
"Get out!" I scream at him as tears keep running. He looks at
the sonogram and then at me
"Yini le?(what is this?)" he asks. The disrespect
"Leyonto ingane yami (that thing is my child) the same child I'm
going to raise alone" his face changes from hard to soft
"Please sit down so we can sort this out" he says
"If you don't get out now!I'll abort this baby" I say knowing
exactly that I'm not going to do that. I just want him out
because he's making me angry. He stands up
"You wouldn't dare" he warns and I gulp down my saliva. He
kisses my forehead and leaves closing the door. I slump down
and cry it all out. This was supposed to be a happy moment for
the both of us but I don't know man. I walk to my bedroom
after locking the door. I lay on my side and rub my belly. I call
Buhlebendalo
"Hey you,why do your eyes look like that?have you been
crying?" Buhle asks and Sandile's head pops in
"You want us to come over" he asks
"No I'm fine,it's just that..." I pause "I'm pregnant,again" Buhle
screams and Sandile smiles but I don't mirror their excitement
"Manje why are you crying?" Sandile asks
"It's the hormones baby" Buhle responds and I give a little
smile. It was one thing having to tell Buhle and now I have to
tell the both of them
"I'm going to be a great aunt and you're going to be as great a
mother, just like you are to Siphosethu" Buhle comments
making my anxiety worse. What if I'm a bad mother? We talk
some more before I hear a knock on the door. We say our
goodbyes and I go open the door. He attacks me with a hug,his
scent sold him out
"I couldn't leave you here alone while you're angry. I'm so so
sorry sthandwa sami. I'll never shout at you again, please please
forgive me. I love you so much and thank you for carrying my
seed" he says all in one second. Did he just apologize? We pull
apart after some time and I lead him inside and he sits
down,putting his face in his hands. I sit down next to him
"I was going to tell you" he looks up at me and sighs "he
started texting me telling me how beautiful I am. I responded
every time I won't lie. He called me on my birthday but then we
fought about that comment he made on my Instagram. I told
him that I have a boyfriend that I love and adore but he didn't
back down. I don't know if he's following me or stalking me but
he just popped out of nowhere after my visit with Dr Myeza and
I don't know how he knew that I'm pregnant but he knew and
he kept saying the baby is his" Thando's eyes pop out for a
moment. I'm just glad I got this off my chest. He puts a finger
over his mouth signalling that I keep quiet. He stands up and
stretches his hand under the coffee table and comes out with
nothing. I wonder what he's looking for. I follow him to the
kitchen as he looks under the table again and finds nothing. He
looks under the cupboards and he smiles as he finds whatever
he was looking for. He shows me a device the size of a
cockroach. He takes off his shoe and smashes the device and
puts it in the vase full of water
"Wha-" he puts a finger on my lips. I keep quiet. He looks
everywhere and he found one in the bathroom,two in my
bedroom and another one in theathe lounge. He smashed all of
them and put them in water
"Those were listening devices installed by your psycho ex
boyfriend" he says and to say I'm shocked would be an
understatement. Why would Snothando do that? "Baby you've
got to stay away from him for your sake and the baby's sake.
He's very dangerous from what I've gathered in the past few
weeks. I wouldn't want to lose one of you or both so please
listen to me when I tell you something"
"Okay. I can't believe this,I'm still so shocked" I say. He hugs me
"Let's go watch a movie and stop worrying about unimportant
people" he picks me up groaning. Am I heavy now?wow the
drama
69
Thandolwethu's pov:
It's been about 4 days since I found out my mami is pregnant.
She went to Newcastle after that to visit her families for
Christmas and New Year's. I'm in Joburg and it's Christmas Eve.
Princess sits on my lap and rests her head against my chest
"Dad why don't we go to Durban already?" she asks me. These
kids grow up so fast
"Because we have to spend Christmas with all of our family
members baby" I respond
"Okay but why isn't mom here because she's the love of your
life?" who tells this child these things?
"Well..." yerrr how do I explain this to a child? "She went to visit
her other family"
"So she ditched us?" she asks again
"No she'll see us later,when the new year starts" she nods
looking completely confused "would you like to be a big sister?"
I ask and she looks at me
"You want to go buy another child?" she asks and I almost laugh
"Yes,me and mommy want to buy another child so you can have
a little sibling to play with"
"No dad,chill out. I don't need anybody to play with because
Ntokomalo and Ntobeko are here" I sigh,she just told me to chill
out.
"Okay baby,let's go eat because it's getting late now" I say
picking her up and she giggles. We walk back inside the house
to the dining area because I know that mom has already dished
up. We take our seats on the middle chairs and play a game on
my phone. The twins make their way to the table and also take
their seats,with Lihle caressing her crying baby
"Give him to me" I open my arms and she frowns
"You want to corrupt my baby,no" she says and I laugh along
with Sne. Bayanda and Lwandile walk over to hug everyone at
the table and Lwandile looks extremely beautiful with her now
visible baby bump. Bayanda looks a lot more mature than the
last time I saw him,his beard is even fully grown now. I bro hug
Bayanda and they sit down. Dad greets and sits down. Mom has
filed for divorce but he doesn't want to sign so things are sour
now. Mandla walks in along with Neli. Mandla bro hugs
Bayanda and I while Neli just makes herself comfortable next to
her dad. Good,they both have ugly attitudes. The girls stand up
to go help mom dish up in the kitchen. Princess follows them
behind just so she can play with Nhlamulo,Lihle's child. I roll my
eyes because she said she doesn't need a younger sibling.
"I think Princess is going to be a problem when she grows up"
Bayanda chuckles
"Why do you say that?" Mandla asks laughing. I love the bond
we have created with him but with Neli it's just a whole
different thing
"I asked her if she wants to be a big sister and she said I must
chill out,just imagine,a whole me?" They burst out in laughter
well except for my dad of course
"You're dramatic nje wena" Bayanda comments
"Yeah vele,even his girlfriend has nothing on him" Mandla says
and we laugh once again. It doesn't take long for the girls to
come back with bowls of food. These days we're always having
a buffet because mom doesn't trust Neli around her. Once we're
all seated we dish up for ourselves and I dish up for princess. I
feed her while feeding myself. The conversation around the
table is light and there are a few laughs here and there. My
phone rings and all eyes land on me
"Mom can I please take this?" I ask my mother who just smiles
at me
"Sure boy boy" she says and I stand up to answer my phone
"Hlala phansi Thandolwethu(sit down)" my father commands
and I answer the call,putting my phone on my ear
"Muntu ka Thandolwethu Sangweni othanda yena
yedwa(Thandolwethu Sangweni's person who loves him only)" I
say making the whole table bursts into a fit of laughter, except
for dad who looks super mad and Neli who is rolling her eyes. I
walk away from the noise and I hear her giggle,warming my
heart
"Hey jerk" she responds
"Me?a jerk?" she snorts.
"Uright kodwa sthandwa sami?" she asks
"Ubaba wakho nengane yakhe are being dramatic. They're not
talking to us.(your dad and his child)" I say and she cracks up
"Uyahleka kodwa mfethu (but you're laughing dude)"
"Let me guess,Neli is wearing a short skirt and too much
makeup?"
"You know her too well" we laugh
"I wouldn't be surprised if I found out she was sleeping with
your dad" I laugh at that
"Haa Siyamthanda,she will hit you"
"And then you kill her" I gasp dramatically " anyways you're
disturbing my bonding session with baby Siyamu" I roll my eyes
"It's definitely a baby Thando" she snickers
"I don't want my child to have a huge head" I laugh because my
head isn't big, she's being dramatic
"Let's not even talk about that. Imagine my child having your
nose and struggling to breath" we burst out in laughter because
we both know how small her nose is
"No actually bye,I wanna masturbate" she says and her voice
echoes meaning she's in the bathroom
"Make sure you think about me" I say with a smile
"I'm joking but I'll definitely think about you when I'm taking a
dump" she laughs
"Sies bye man,I love you and baby Thando"
"We love you too baby" she responds. One of the times I
actually wish I was next to her. She hangs up. The fact that my
girlfriend is so comfortable with me that she even tells me
when she's about to take a dump is amazing! I walk back to the
table and silence reigns. Princess is finished eating and she's
drinking her water. I sit down and waste no time in eating
"Thandolwethu you don't respect me anymore,have you
forgotten who the man of this house is?" Dad's voice beams
over the silence. I ignore him and carry on eating. He bangs the
table, scaring Princess and making her choke on her water. I
gently hit her back until she stops coughing
"Haven't you had enough?you want power over everything but
haven't you had enough? You have been controlling our lives
ever since we were born but it stops here. My respect for you
went out of the window the day you put tears on my mother's
face and didn't even care so if I may,I want to finish my meal
cooked by my mother" I tell him
"You're also going to let him talk to me like that?" he points at
me,looking at my mom
"Why are you talking to dad like that?isn't he the one who
raised you?isn't he the one who took you to private
schools?while your useless mother sat in this house the whole
day" Neli speaks
"Nelisiwe" Mandla warns. Bayanda chuckles
"Who's mother is useless?" Bayanda asks
"Neli control yourself" her dad warns. Yes,he's not my dad
anymore
"No dad they must know that they are wrong. They think they
own the world. Thando do you even know where your
daughter's mother is?" Neli asks
"What happens with my daughter doesn't concern you,you are
not her mother nor her father" I respond standing up to leave.
Mom has been quiet this whole time. I call the helper
"Please pack all of Snothando's clothes into suitcases and the
shoes can go into black plastic bags" I state and my mom's eyes
grow wide
"If you married Londi you would've been as happy as Ntokozo
is,he listened to his father and now his things are going well for
him. He couldn't even come home because of how good his
wife is treating him" dad says
"We're also leaving,let's go pack our things sthandwa sami"
Bayanda announces
"Mom this is your one and only chance to leave this hell hole
because I'm not ever coming back here unless we're going to
bury that old man. Please do what is best for you" I say looking
at my mother who looks undecided. She stands up
"Wait for me,I'm also going to pack my stuff" she says before
following Bayanda and Lwandile. I take princess and we proceed
to the lounge. We watch Teletubbies and she's dancing
nonstop. I'm glad she doesn't understand what is going on
because I'd have a lot of explaining to do. I take videos of her
until the helper comes back with two suitcases while Mandla is
carrying one suitcase and a black plastic bag. I take these things
to my car. It's around 7pm so I wonder where we are going to
go. I call Thapelo while I'm outside
"Sho mfethu" he answers
"Yeah ndoda. Ugrand?" I ask
"Moja ntwana,wena?" he also asks
"Ehy dude it's tough. I actually need a favour"
"Yeah what's up?you know I always got you" he replies
"Man do you still have that house in Randburg?" I ask
"Yeah the spare key is with the security,do you need it?"
"Yeah dad just annoyed me to the core so I'm taking mom and
princess with me to Durban but Bayanda and his girl are also
here so I didn't know which hotel would still allow us to book
this late" I tell him
"Man that's rough,let me know if he needs to get into an
accident" I laugh,this dude is crazy
"He's still my mom's husband so he can't get into an accident" I
tell him,then we say our goodbyes and hang up. I go back inside
the house to find Mandla tickling Princess nonstop
"You'll kill her" I state with my eyebrows arched. He gets the
fright of his life and I laugh at his reaction. Mom comes down
with two suitcases along with Bayanda and Lwandile. They put
their suitcases in Bayanda's car while mom puts hers in my car.
Princess is so happy to leave that she waves goodbye to her
crazy grandpa. Bayanda walks over to my car and I roll down the
window
"Where are we going?" he asks. This is the responsibility that
comes with being a big brother. Mandla helps Lihle put her
suitcases along with Nhlamulo's things in my car and Sne puts
hers in Bayanda's car. Some of Nhlamulo's things had to go into
Bayanda's car because of how many things we've bought him.
"Thapelo said we could use his house in Randburg so you just
follow me and we'll spend the night there" he nods and gets
into his car. We drive off as Mandla waves a sad goodbye. We
definitely have to come back for him. The drive to Randburg
takes us about 15 minutes maximum. When we get
there,everyone settles into their different rooms. I call my
woman to let her know what's been going and I fall asleep with
my baby in my arms.
70
Siyamu's pov:
"Yeah so what is it that you wanted us to talk about?" my
brother asks impatiently. My sister smiles at me putting me at
ease. I know she sees because she's been through this. We're at
home under the shade of the big tree
"Uhm..." I clear my throat and take out the sonogram and give
it to him "I'm pregnant"
"Is this what you wanted or you got forced into it?" he asks
looking angry. Drama king this one but I respect him,he's been a
father figure throughout my whole life
"It didn't happen intentionally but I'm willing to be the mother
my child needs" I answer
"How many months?" Nomfundo asks
"Who's the father?" Sbusiso asks
"Sbuda can you just chill out for a second?" she scolds him
"I'm 3 months,this is my 12th week" she claps her hands
excitedly,inviting my cousin Ayanda
"Who is the father?" Sbusiso asks again,seeming a lot calmer
this time but I'm still scared to utter words to him
"Thandolwethu Sangweni" I say and Ayanda literally screams
"Do you understand that you're my little sister and I'm
supposed to protect you from guys like him?" he makes
everyone quiet well except for the kids that are playing on the
street. I nod staring at my hands,tears already falling from my
eyes. So he won't accept my child? "Why couldn't you just go
for a normal guy with glasses and carries a computer
around?why did you have to go for the worst version of a bad
boy to exist?"
"But I love him bhuti and he loves me too" I try to comment but
little did I know that I'm adding fuel to the fire
"Damnit man Siyamthanda what do you know about
love!?you're 25 for God's sake" he shouts banging the
table,making me jump up in fright. I wipe my falling tears
"Yes I'm 25 and I'm mature enough to know what love is. I've
literally travelled the world but I never found someone who has
treated me like this. He treats me like a princess, and he does so
to his child. What will be different with mine?" He stands up
"I will love your child like my own but forget it if you think I will
accept your little silly relationship with that boy" with that said
he walks away,leaving me with Nomfundo and Ayanda
"That was hectic" Ayanda comments while rubbing my back
"Don't worry, he'll come around sis. He's just scared of losing
you" Nomfundo says wiping my tears. I honestly hope that's the
case. We go inside and make breakfast for everyone. We're a
very big family so the conversation is flowing around the table
but Sbusiso isn't here. I'm trying to act like I don't care but I'm
worried about him. He never misses anything that has to do
with food because oh well I guess that's what my siblings and I
have in common. After breakfast I take a bath and wear a long
yellow summer dress with my Adidas flip flops. My cousins and I
go to u-my friend to buy fireworks for tonight. It's New Year's
Eve baby! Trust me I have money but I'm still a big cheapskate. I
have this "what if one day I lose it all" mentality.
We buy the fireworks,alcohol because we're always drinking
and meat to braai. Well I forgot that it's no drinking for me so I
had to go back and get some juice. A couple of people stop us
asking for pictures and because I love my fans I comply. We
head back home and the guys start with the meat and us,ladies
are in the kitchen. My brother's car drives in but he doesn't
walk through the kitchen door. It breaks my heart because
we're supposed to be happy about this moment. My aunt's take
turns touching my belly
"Lastborn ka bhuti wami kodwa,awumuhle kanje(my brother's
last born, you're beautiful)" my aunt comments
"Ngane ka Bongani phela le, uyabona bafana kanjani?(this is
Bongani's child,do you see the resemblance?)" my grandmother
says
"She'll make a great mother when her child is born" Nomfundo
says
"So you're not drinking today?that's new" Ayanda chips in and
everyone laughs because I'm always drinking,I'll be lucky if I
don't have a phuza face
"Siyamthanda,follow me" my brother commands while he walks
through the passage. I wipe my hands and follow him to my
room. I sit next to him on the bed and he pulls me in for a hug. I
sob in his arms while he rocks us back and forth. He kisses my
forehead
"Sis,I love you to the moon and back. I'm sorry for the way I
spoke to you and what I said. I just don't want you getting hurt
in the process"
"I'm also sorry for raising my voice at you,I'll never do that
again" he smiles
"Now is it my nephew or niece?" I laugh because he's forward
this one. We head out and everyone eats before starting to
drink. I pour my juice in my cup and everyone laughs at me,it's
not funny
"Give me just one sip guys" I beg and they laugh. Ayanda makes
me sip her red wine and it sure tastes good. Music is booming
from my car and the yard is full of people dancing and shouting.
Well mostly my family members.
It's 23:59 and we start the countdown. I take a video of
everything
"10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1,0! Happy New Year!" we all shout while my
brother and my other make cousins light up the fireworks. It
looks so beautiful. My phone vibrates in my hands and I end the
video,answering the incoming call
"Happy New Year baby!" he shouts and I giggle
"Happy new year to you too love"
"You good there?or should I come fetch you?" he asks. Drama
king. I laugh
"No I'm good,it's not like I'm not coming back tomorrow"
"I hope you're not drinking" he says but what he doesn't know
won't kill him
"No, I'm enjoying my juice here"
"I'm sure you're wishing I was the one carrying our baby" I
laugh
"Luckily for you the only thing you have to carry is that AK-47
between your legs" he bursts out in laughter
"The one that doesn't shoot blanks" I roll my eyes as if he can
see me "Thando I thought I told you that you shouldn't do it" I
hear Sandile's voice in the background
"Don't tell me what to do mfethu" Thando claps back. What is
going on there?
"Thando what's going on?" I ask
"Bye baby,I love you so much. Kiss our baby for me" he hangs
up. What are these two hiding from me because they wouldn't
just fight for nothing?
71
Thandolwethu's pov:
"Mfethu musa ukungiphusha,ngiyeke ungaze uzisole!(dude
don't push me,leave me alone before you regret it)" I shout at
Sandile. Thapelo is holding me from the back while Warona is
holding Sandile from his side.
"Dude don't fight with him as, you can also see,he's drunk"
Warona tries to control the situation
"You're a kill joy Thando,I told you not to call your girlfriend"
Sandile comments
"Can someone pay me atleast?" the girl besides me asks.
Sandile brought us to a strip club without our knowledge and
now he's literally forcing me to have sex with one of the
strippers. I'm not going to do that,whether he's cheating on
Buhle or not I don't care,I won't do something just because he's
doing it. How old is he?like 15?
"Shut up" Thapelo adds. She rolls her eyes. Sandile manages to
grab her bare ass and squeeze it. The girl gasps
"I'll pay you mama" he says dragging her to one of the rooms
"I'm leaving" I announce when they are out of sight
"Come on man don't be like that" Kuhle says "All this for a girl?"
"Clearly you're also drunk because that's not just any girl,she's
my girl,the one I love with my whole heart. If tables were
turned I know I wouldn't want her in a space like this touching
other males" I state,loud and clear
"Mxm korobela(love potion)" Warona mumbles. I leave the club
and get into my car. I start the engine and the door opens.
Thapelo pops in the passenger seat.
"I don't think I can drive myself home" I laugh at him. I drive us
to my house. I wonder what Siyamthanda is doing. I help
Thapelo out of the car as he mumbles words that don't make
sense. I ask one of the guards to open the door because if I let
go he's falling. I lead him to the guest bedroom and put him
inside the covers. I walk out to check if all the lights are off but
end up in the room my mother is using,her room basically. I
walk in to find my baby cuddled up in her arms. Fikile came with
Ntokozo's kids to spend the New Year's night but they ended up
leaving and that is when I left for the 'cool new place' Sandile
was talking about. I switch off the lights and go to bed.
•••
It's a sunny Saturday today and it shows that it's the first week
of January. We're sitting outside Buhlebendalo's home,under
the shade after we have just paid lobola (dowry) for her.
Ofcourse we(Sandile's friends) didn't go in because his uncles
and his brother were there. We're just here to support,or rather
they,I'm here to see my wife. Buhlebendalo's mom makes her
way to us and greets. We're sitting altogether with the older
men
"Mkhwenyana,amabili amathathu?(groom,a word or two?)" she
asks and Sandile nods. They walk off somewhere inside the
house. So Sandile came to me the next day and apologized for
what he did and honestly I just 'forgave' him because I don't
want any tension between him and Siyamu. It will get in the
way of her career. He comes back looking a lot lighter,like a
heavy rock has been lifted off his shoulders
"Manje mfethu(so dude) is that girl here?the one you're always
with?I forgot her name" Likhona asks, Sandile's best friend.
"Ubani?(who?)uSiyamthanda?" Sandile asks too. Likhona nods
yes
"She's so hot braa,I want her so bad. We'd make a great couple"
he says and I boil inside. I chuckle
"I also want her" I comment. Sandile gives me 'the eye'. The oh
really now look.
"Yeah they're inside" he says and Buhle walks out with a bowl
with water I guess. She starts at Sandile,going down on her
knees and then she does the rest of us. I can't wait to see
Siyamu doing like that. She goes back in and Sandile brags
about how he chose well,while we all know he's cheating.
Hypocrite. Buhle comes back with a tray of food,followed by her
cousin with two plates in her hands. She serves her husband to
be and goes back inside. Her cousin gives me a plate but I tell
her to start with the elder men,I also whisper in her ear. She
walks away rolling her eyes
"Let's have a bet dude,R1000 for whoever gets a kiss from
uSiyamthanda first" I suggest to Likhona. Sandile,Thapelo and
Kuhle chuckle
"Make it R800" he complains
"Deal" we shake hands. She comes out of the house carrying a
bowl. She doesn't come to our side though because she's going
to the tap outside. Likhona stands up
"Let the games begin"he says and walks away towards her
direction. He gets there and I see him laughing. The strong
winds blow up her sunflower dress but luckily it's ankle-length.
He fixes the dress for her but she grabs his hands and removes
them from her body. She looks taken back for a moment before
she says something looking really pissed. I chuckle as she goes
back inside. Likhona comes back and sits down without saying a
word. Siyamu appears again with a plate in her hands walking
towards us. She greets and kneels to give me my plate. I thank
her,she smiles at me before walking off. I stand up and place my
plate on the table infront of us.
"Siyamu" I call out and she stops
"Yeah?" she responds. I hold her waist and her soft hands run
on my biceps as we stare at each other
"I missed you" I sulk and she laughs,her head falling backwards
"You missed me or you missed this one?" she points at her
belly. I smile
"I hope they're not overworking you, otherwise we're leaving" I
tell her and she rolls her eyes
"Who's leaving?" Buhlebendalo's mom asks out of nowhere. I
let Siyamu go and she gives us an eye
"Nobody is leaving ma,une drama lo" she says
"So this is your boyfriend?" the mother asks smiling. Siyamu
looks down,I don't know whether she's blushing or she's
holding in a laugh
"Yebo ma"
"Mmh if only I was younger" she says and Siyamu bursts out in
laughter. I chuckle after catching on to the joke "ngiyadlala (I'm
joking). Make sure you treat her well mfana otherwise you'll
have me to deal with" she warns and I nod
"Yebo ma" she heads off into the house again
"I have to go,the ladies surely need help inside" she states
"Wait,I've actually got something to tell you"
"Uhm o..kayyy" she says. I rub the back of my neck
"You see that guy that came to you when you were carrying
that bowl?" I ask and she thinks back
"Yeah,Luyanda or something" I chuckle
"So he was talking about you,about how hot you are and I made
a bet with him for R800. The first one who kisses you wins"
instead of being mad as I expected,she actually gives a hearty
laugh
"Come here" she pulls my head towards her forehead and we
indulge in a sweet and slow kiss. She stops to give me a peck
and I hear the guys cheer from the far end of the yard. I chuckle
as she goes back into the house
"Should I send you my banking details or you have cash?" I ask
as I start eating.
"Mxm" he says and takes out his wallet. He counts the money
before giving it to me. Thapelo chuckles "she probably doesn't
know that I'm richer than you. Fucken whore"
"Don't you dare call my girl a whore"
"I knew this bet wasn't going to end well" one of the uncles say
"Oh so you cheated,you knew you'd win because you're dating
her!" he shouts as he stands up to push me. I also stand up
"Control yourself Likhona man" Warona warns
"Gents don't ruin a good day" Sandile says and I sit down. I'm
going to get this boy,who does he think he is?
72
Siyamu's pov:
It's February now and I'm 17 weeks pregnant which is 4
months. Next week I'll be 5 months pregnant. My stomach has
made adjustments and as I want to keep this pregnancy a secret
for atleast 6 months I had to change the way I dress out in
public. My baby is the size of an avocado. The second trimester
has been nothing but hell. The constant
vomiting,sweating,eating,laziness and my nose?yho ahha.
Honestly my nose has its days of being a big ass disappointment
I go through my socials because I have no amount of sleep in
my body. I find a page on Instagram where whoever this person
is, is sharing celebrity gossip and I see a photo of myself and
Thando. My heart skips a beat. It's the first ever picture I ever
posted of us. The person wrote 'Djay Siyamu and her gangster
ex boyfriend. Thandolwethu Sangweni is said to be a suspect of
the murder of innocent sales manager at Spar,Hlungwani
Hadebe'
I look at the time before calling Thando.
"Hey baby,is everything alright there?" he asks,his voice filled
with drowsiness
"Uhm yeah..I was just wondering when we'll go for those self
defense lessons" I change the subject
"How about tomorrow?" he asks
"I am busy the whole day tomorrow,how about the day after
tomorrow?"
"Alright,are you sure everything is okay?you sound worried" he
asks again. What did I do to deserve such a caring man
"Yeah,no, I'm okay. Just get some rest" we say our goodbyes
and hang up. I thought he'd still be up by this time. I walk to the
fridge to get some ice cream. I receive a call from Siyanda,we
talk till I fall asleep. Let's just say he reacted the same way as
Sbusiso when I told him he's about to be an uncle
I wake up and take a shower. I wear my oversized white t-shirt
and black free flowing pants with closed see-through 6 inch
heels. I drive to the studio and Sanele is already outside waiting
for me,talk about a person who knows time. I park and he
fetches me from my car with a warm hug
"Baby mama" he says and I laugh. That's my new nickname
"Pumpkin" I say and he frowns,I laugh because he doesn't want
me to call him that. We do what we're paid for and drive off to
Umhlanga to have lunch. We settle for Amour's Eatery. We find
a table outside since it's really hot.
"You look really beautiful today, without the makeup" he
compliments,I giggle
"So I'm ugly with the makeup on?" I ask raising my eyebrow
"Stop twisting my words,I meant you're really beautiful as just
you" he says and my phone rings. I answer
"Hey"
"Uthi hey kimi?ilomfana ohleli naye okwenza kuthi uthi
hey?(you're saying hey to me?is it that boy you're sitting with
that's making you say hey?)" he responds and I giggle
"Jealousy doesn't suit you sthandwa sami" I say and he heaves a
sigh
"Are you okay?" he asks
"I'm good,are you okay?you're worrying me"
"I know why you called me last night"
"Oh" I say,running out of words
"Don't worry about it,my publicist has got everything under
control so relax" I actually let go and my body relaxes.
"Thank you,I love you"
"I love you too" he says and we say our goodbyes,with him
sulking about how much he misses me. Sanele smiles at me
"What?you're creeping me out" I say
"I also want to be inlove,hook me up with one of your friends"
he says and I laugh. I roll my eyes
"You don't look for love,it finds you" he whistles and I giggle.
We eat and then go our separate ways. I head to the boutique
Buhle said we should meet at for the last dress fittings. Well
mostly me because every time I go there something has to be
adjusted. I walk in and take off my Gucci shades. Everyone is
already here. The wedding is on Sunday and the couple said
they don't want a traditional wedding. Khadijah attempts to
ululate and I laugh till tears run down my cheeks. Buhle comes
out wearing her long sleeve silver mermaid dress with a
diamond boob tube design. Her red bottom black Contour heels
out in full display. Well she has a doek on her head for no
reason. She looks so beautiful. I whistle and she turns around
"Go in there, everyone is done fitting" she says and they laught
at me. I go to the fitting rooms after receiving my dress. It's a
lavender princess,off the shoulder,ankle length dress. My boobs
look sexy in this dress. I walk out and spin for them,it also had a
small lavender handbag to go with it. The heels are at home
since I didn't bring them with. They cheer and whistle like gents
making me giggle
"She'll have to come back for fittings on Sunday morning" Buhle
says and they laugh
"Oh you're making fun of me now?" I pout and she laughs
"You look ugly when you do that" I laugh,rolling my eyes. I take
the dress off and we drive off to my next gig altogether. My
bodyguards in the mix. We get there and it's already packed,I've
already changed into my Spovington oversized black tee with
blue shorts and caramel airforce 1's. I do what I get paid for and
we stay for some more time before leaving. I park my car and
walk to my apartment,I find the door unlocked. It's either
Sandile or my man. I walk inside and an inviting aroma hits my
nostrils. Definitely not these two men. I walk to the kitchen and
find Thando in his shorts and an apron. Oh I'd rather eat him
than whatever he is making.
"Am I dreaming?" I ask,he laughs. Oh god. He walks to me,grabs
me by waist and pulls me to him in an instant. He grazes his lips
on mine,his eyes staring into mine. Fuck,his beard is neatly
trimmed and he got a new haircut bahlali!take me now.
"Aren't you hungry?" he asks and I bite my bottom lip
"For you,I am" I respond and he chuckles
"Ngeke phela everyday you want me to bend you over,my back
hurts" he complains and I roll my eyes, trying to remove his big
arms around my waist. I'm at the verge of tears when he pecks
my lips,he pecks them again, he finally kisses me. The kiss isn't
rushed,it's slow and passionate. His hands travel to my bunda
and he slaps it making me giggle. I take off my t-shirt and I'm
only left with my bra. He lets me go and stirs his pot. What? I go
to my room to wear another t-shirt because I'm not into that
one anymore. I take off my shorts and sneakers. I take off my
bra and wear another oversized plain t-shirt. Free the titties.
When I go back he has some food on the coffee table
"I couldn't start eating without you,even though I'm hungry" he
gulps down his saliva when he notices that I'm actually half
naked. I sit down with my legs over his. He made beef oxtail and
rice with vegetables. This actually tastes great,I'm really a good
teacher
"Baby you know that I tell you everything,right?" he starts. Oh
god,I hate secrets
"Yeah..." I respond
"Promise me you won't get mad at me?" he carries on
"I don't even know what you want to tell me" I state and he
puts his plate down. He takes a huge sip of his beer
"What would you do if you were to find out Sandile is cheating
on Buhle?" he asks and I honestly think my ears are playing
jokes on me
"What?Sandile is cheating on Buhle?" I ask confused,even the
words leave a bitter taste in my mouth
"Sort of, something like that" he says bowing his head
"How do you know that?" I ask
"I saw him,he calls me and tells me. He was even pressuring me
to do it"
"And did you do it?" I ask,already at the verge of tears. Fuck
these hormones
"I only kissed her" I put my plate down "I remembered that
you're everything I've ever wanted in a woman,in my woman. Jy
is my alles.(you are my everything) I remembered that you're
the one I want to start a family with" he says
"So Buhle is getting married to a liar?I honestly thought he'd
change"
"Don't tell her though,you don't want to be labelled as a jealous
friend when she doesn't react the way you thought she would.
Besides,maybe she knows" he says "come here" he kisses my
neck and I push him away
"You also kissed another slut so go back to her" I say and he
stops to look at me
"Kodwa baby-" I put my finger on his lip
"No cookie for two weeks" I kiss his lips and leave him hanging.
What in the SpongeBob is happening in this world?my best
friend thinks she's getting married to her lover but she's
actually getting married to a liar. What am I supposed to do now
because the wedding is in two days
73
Siyamu's pov:
I stand up when DJ Shimza plays the song I had requested.
Siyajola by Busta 929. I have a minor headache because
yesterday we,or rather they drank their lives away at Buhle's
bridal shower. I dance anyways because well I'm me. Sandile
laughs at my moves while Buhle cheers me on,taking a video.
The music dies down as I reach center stage,the crowd also
hushes.
"Sanibonani, before I say anything for the bride's friends,I
would like to sing a song that I feel,in my opinion represents our
couple. Shout-out to Dumi Mkokstad for this great song" I say
and everyone claps,for what reason?I also don't know. My eyes
catch Ndo's,he's smiling, waiting for me to go on. I start singing
"Yintoni na umuntu, lent' umthanda kangaka?
Yintoni na umuntu, lent' umthanda kangaka?
Yintoni na umuntu, lent' umthanda kangaka?
Yintoni na umuntu, lent' umthanda kangaka?
Umuph' isipho esinje, kulungile Thixo
Yintoni na umuntu, lent' umthanda kangaka?
Undinikile othandwa ndim'
Undinikile owentliziyo yami
Undinikile Thixo othandwa ndim'
Undinikile owentliziyo yami
Zipho zenkosi zivel' ezulwini
Zipho zenkosi ezam' nami
Zipho zenkosi zivel' ezulwini
Zipho zenkosi ngezam' nami
Unginikile Thixo othandwa ndim'
Unginikile owenhliziyo yami
Undinikile Bawo othandwa ndim'
Unginikile owenhliziyo yami
Oh, undinikile Bawo othandwa ndim'
Oh-oh, 'ndinikile owentliziyo yami
Oh, 'ndinikile Bawo othandwa ndim'
Oh, 'ndinikile owentliziyo yami
Unginikile Thixo othandwa ndim'
Unginikile owenhliziyo yami" the crowd cheers as I finish off. I
do a dramatic bow and the gents whistle while most ladies
ululate "mngani umuhle,nawe malume Sandile ukhiphe unyawo
and everyone else in this room is elegantly gorgeous. Talking on
Buhle's behalf is hard because you guys are both my friends.
Buhle,mnganami,I've known you for more than 15 years now
and I hope this friendship lasts till the day we take our last
breaths. As much as you tell me everything,you have a husband
now, everything must process through him first but not our
morning gossip sessions" the crowd laughs. Sandile chuckles
wiping away a tear from her eye, drama " as we grew up I never
really thought you'd ever get married,like eeuw who would
marry you but also who wouldn't marry you?you're a
phenomenal friend,a great mother and you'll be an amazing
wife. With all that said mngani,know your worth. Marriage
doesn't mean hide things from us,as your friends. We may not
be married but you know that we don't do 'emshadweni
kuyabekezelwa',we gang up on anyone who hurts one of us. If
he treats you bad mngani,which I hope never happens,my door
is always open. Same applies to you Sandile,my door is always
open because I'm a free marriage counselor" they laugh once
again " love one another,learn to love yourselves and your
children,most of all make money!" Everyone cheers as I sit
down next to Wandile at our table. The couple is sitting infront
us and we(bridesmaid's and groomsmen) are seated on either
side of a long table,facing each other. The rest of tables are like
that with lavender, gold and black drapings. Have I made the
right choice?letting my best friend marry a liar,a cheat?but I
should probably take Thando's advice and let her find out on
her own. I stand up while Buhle's mom is speaking,I walk out to
the other venue,where the food will be served. I check on the
catering team and everything is good.
Someone covers my eyes with their hands. His hands are manly
and they're usually cold "Thandolwethu Sangweni" I say and he
chuckles removing them. I turn around to look at him
"How did you know?I don't understand" he rolls his eyes
"Babe this is our third year together" he pecks my lips twice
before leading us back to the area we were in before,he tells
me how beautiful I am today,for the 100th time. We eat,dance
and they drink,you guys know the drill. So I had to limit being
lovey dovey with Thando because my mom is here and she
doesn't know I have a boyfriend or that I'm pregnant. I fetch
Buhle from the dance floor,we walk to where my mom is sitting.
This is going to be hard man. She smiles as we approach her. I
wonder how she's going to take the news
"My girls" she says and Buhle laughs. She hates being called a
girl
"Ma,Buhle actually has something to tell you" Buhle looks at me
confused,trust her to throw you under the bus. I point at my
stomach with my eyes. She gets the drill before mom can catch
on
"So ma,you know we love you right?" my mom nods,already
furrowing her eyebrows "how would you feel if you were to
have a grandchild?"
My mom's mouth hangs open, literally "you're pregnant?" she
asks me. I go mute at that point because of the fear
"Yes ma she's pregnant" Buhle responds,sometimes I would like
to have her liver because wow
"Who's the father?" she asks again. Hawu,no congratulations?
"uThandolwethu Sangweni"
"When am I going to meet him? because I want to have a chat
with him" she says,not an ounce of happiness showing on her
face
"He's actually here" Buhle and her big mouth decide to make
their presence known
"Bring him here"
"Mama" I call out,trying to change her mind but she ignores me
so I think it's my que to go call him. I look for him and find him
with the gents. We step aside
"Mom wants to see you" I say panicking but he just
smiles,ukuthi why,nami angazi. He kisses my cheek and that
sort of relieves me because he's here,he's with me all the way.
It's time I trusted him
"Let's go then" he holds my hand,I breath in and out before
leading him to where my mother is sitting. She looks up and we
sit down on the chairs opposite her
"Sawbona ma" Thando says,his eyes darting at the floor
"Umithise ingane yami wena?ziphi izinkomo zami? Ingoba
awungihloniphi vele?(you impregnated my child?where are my
cows?(damages). Why,is it because don't you respect me?).
Aren't you the one who made her have a miscarriage?" my
mom asks a mouthful before we can even swallow our saliva
"Ma please don't" I ask
"Nywa mpliz don't ini wena?uvule amathanga angithi usumithi
manje?ushadile nje ngoba uvula amathanga?(ma please don't
what?you're opening your legs and now you're pregnant
right?are you married cause you're opening your legs?)" She
asks. Exhausting,kuyashisa nokushisa
"Ma besisakhuluma nobhuti wakhe omdala ngokuthi inhlawulo
ngingayiletha nini,anginankinga nangokumshada uSiyamthanda
(we were still talking with her brother about when I can bring
the damages,I don't even have a problem with marrying
Siyamthanda)" the man next to me says
"Akukho muntu oshadayo la (nobody is getting married here)" I
say because I'm not getting forced into any marriage because of
their beliefs. I'd rather go to hell
"So your brother knew first?I'm actually the fool here. I raised
you all alone and then that family takes you away from me after
all my hard work? Now you're also going with the flow. You
know what?I'm leaving" she stands up to leave
"Mom please,don't leave,stay for Buhle" I beg and she
leaves,making sure her heels slap hard against the tile floor.
Buhle comes over,I look at Thando and he's staring at the floor.
He isn't blinking
"Are you guys okay?I didn't think she'd react that way" Buhle
asks, concerned. Thando stands up to go outside
"Mngani we'll come back now now,just enjoy your day. We'll be
fine" I say walking out after him. He's sitting on a bench near a
dam. The silence here is therapeutic. I sit down next to him,his
face is buried in his hands. There is no need to talk because the
silence is thunderous.
"Do you want a hug?" I ask him. He looks at me,his face says it
all. I scooch over next to him. He melts in my arms,I can feel
him becoming less tense,his shoulders slouch as he sighs. He
lets go after some time
"This is all my fault, ngiyaxolisa sthandwa sami" he says holding
my hands "the only thing I do is bring you bad luck. Ever since
you met me-"
"Ever since I met you I've been genuinely happy. Every couple
has its ups and downs. We can't always be happy, we're also
human and we make mistakes. Stop blaming yourself for things
you have no control of. You didn't anticipate my mother's
reaction and we never expected this pregnancy but it's life,we
have to move on" he stares at the sight before us. I have a
feeling that this conversation isn't over. After a while we go
back inside. The cake is cut and now it's time for our bride to
throw the bouquet. All the single ladies bundle up in a group a
few feet behind her as she turns her body,her back facing them
"3...2...1" she throws the bouquet in the air and they all run
after it,with their hands out in the air. I can imagine someone
with smelly armpits there. Buhle's cousin catches it but
Khadijah grabs it from her. Next thing,the girl is pulling Khadijah
by the hair and luckily it's her natural hair so none of it come
out. Khadijah slaps the girl as that gent Liyana or Likhona pulls
her back. Wandile is talking some sense to Khadijah but she still
has the bouquet at the end of the day.Buhle and I look at each
other from a distance and laugh,Khadijah and drama. This was a
day to remember indeed.
74
Thandolwethu's pov:
"When is your girlfriend going to come?" Andiswa asks. I roll my
eyes
"Ufunani la?(what are you doing here?)" I ask
"I'm here to support my friend and my baby daddy" she
replies,giving me a sly look
"Andiswa the results came back negative,your child is not mine!
I'm not your baby daddy. You're not even family so I don't know
what you're doing here"
"Mxm it's not your house"
"And it's not your home" I say before leaving and heading to my
grandmother's room. It still smells like her,the bed is neatly
made and the room is clean. Her clothes are all packed into
black plastic bags in her wardrobe. I lay on the bed and sigh. It's
a Friday afternoon and I'm supposed to be out there with the
men, slaughtering goats and cows but I just can't face anyone. I
video call my baby
"Sthandwa se nhliziyo ka Siyamu" is the first thing she says
before her beautiful self comes to view. Once again she's
stuffing her face with food. I smile
"Uright?" I ask
"Are you alright?you look tired" she asks back
"I'm okay"
"No you're not" she challenges
"Ah what do you want me to say?that I'm not okay. Of course
I'm not okay. My first love has died and everyone expects me to
be strong like the man I am but I can't do this anymore. I'm
thinking of just leaving" I snap at her. She keeps quiet for a
moment
"I'm sorry"
"No it's fine,baby just cry if you want to because if you keep on
bottling everything up,one day you'll burst and it may be the
wrong person" she says
"Cry?ahy Siyamthanda you're making me a cry baby manje" she
keeps quiet and we kind of stare at each other
"Yeah bye,I'm busy" she says
"Baby no, I'm sorry for the tone I used. My mind is just all over
the place" I know how sensitive she is and this pregnancy is
making it worse. What is wrong with me?
"Thandolwethu I said it's fine,look I wanna show you
something" I know she's upset when she uses my full name but
she's trying to hide it to consider my feelings. She shows her
stomach which has grown immensely. You could now spot that
she's pregnant just by looking at her even though it isn't that
big. She taps her fingers twice and nothing happens,she does it
again but nothing still
"I guess she doesn't want to talk to you" she says
"Who said it's a she?" I ask and her stomach actually moves
"Oh that tickles" she giggles. I smile. I hear a soft knock before
my mom comes in.
"Babe let me call you later,mom is here"
"Say hi for me,I love you" I smile
"Alright,bye,ngikufatela blind sthandwa sami (I love you a lot
my love)" I say and she blows me a kiss before hanging up.
"Thandolwethu" she says sitting on the edge of the bed. I sit up
and look at her
"Ma" I respond
"You're going to be okay, please leave the room and actually go
out to see people"
"But I was out there a minute ago" I respond,looking at
her,waiting for her to tell me she's joking
"Yes but only for a minute, please don't make your father
embarass me more infront of so many people because he has
already started" knowing my dad I'm sure he's telling everyone
how badly my mother raised me. Where is the father that used
to be at every soccer match? The dad who didn't want anyone
near his family?that dad died when he took guns and gave them
to Ntokozo and I,telling us we're old enough to do the job now.
"Only for you mom" I say standing up,wearing my shoes.
•••
Today is the day we lay my beautiful, fierce first lady to her last
resting place. I didn't sleep,like literally. We worked until 3am
but when I went to bed,I couldn't close my eyes. I kept having
dreams about my grandmother. This dream kept on repeating
itself. She was wearing a white dress,smiling happily but she
was walking away from me. I called Siyamu at about 4am,she
stayed up with me till she fell asleep at about 6am. It was selfish
of me because she's pregnant and needs the rest
Princess stirred in her sleep,I hate waking her up early because
she honestly values her sleep so waking her up for school
everyday is a lot of work. Most of the time I'd give her 15 more
minutes but mom would scold me about how I'm spoiling her
too much. I woke up to fetch boiling water from the pot
outside. There was a lot of women already up and about,men
too,mostly family members and it was just 7am. It's really cold
so I quickly bath and wear some sweats and a hoodie. I wake
Princess up and she baths. After bathing her I dress her up in
stockings,a long sleeved dress and a jean jacket to to it up. She
wears her boots. I comb her hair into a ponytail. We walk out to
find my mother in the kitchen,they're honestly overworking her
here. Princess runs off outside to play with her cousins,I hope
she doesn't make herself dirty. I have a quick conversation with
my mother before getting a call from Sandile telling me they are
5 minutes away.
I bump into my dad on my way out
"Look what the cat dragged in,you finally decided to come out
of your grandmother's room,you're probably tired of being a
pussy now. Real men carry guns like me" I take it out from my
right side,making sure nobody sees it. I point it at his abdomen
"You mean this one?or the toy gun you're always carrying
around?" he looks at me angry. I put it back where it was before
when I see two cars approaching. It's Thapelo's car and
Sandile's car. They park behind some cars that are already
parked. I walk over to greet everyone. They all step out of the
car but I don't see my meddie. It's
Thapelo,Khosi,Zakhe,Zanele,Lunga,Sandile,Buhle and Okuhle. I
bro hug the gents and side hug the girls. I see Okuhle showing
me eyes of pity and I don't want that. My girlfriend steps out of
the car with a black tight long sleeve dress,luckily it doesn't
show her boobs because we wouldn't be going to bury my gran
but I can see her nipples,which means she isn't wearing a bra.
Her black combat boots hit the ground as she walks towards
me,she isn't even walking man, she's floating. Her small baby
bump looks cute man. When did we get here? She opens her
arms for a hug and I crash into her arms at lightning speed. She
smells so fucking nice
"It'll all be okay,uyezwa?" she whispers in my ear. As we let go
she fetches her coat from the car,it's long and black. She has her
weave semi tied at the front and the hair is let loose at the
back. I don't know what it's called. She looks hot even without
makeup. We all walk towards the house because the funeral
isn't going to start now. My mom is so happy to see
Siyamthanda here,well Princess?her reaction was priceless. She
can't let go of Siyamthanda. Currently she's sitting on her lap as
they eat scones made by my mom. Siyamthanda looks so tired,I
could see from how small her eyes have become. Did I do that?
I made her stay up the whole night now she looks tired.
Andiswa walks in where we're sitting and sits next to the space
next to Sandile. Everyone looks at each other but the
conversation continues. I kiss Siyamu on the cheek. She gives
me a weak smile
"When are you having your baby shower baby daddy?" Lihle
asks and Siyamu chuckles
"Once I go on maternity leave, until then no surprise baby
showers" she says eyeing the twins and they laugh
"I'll also go on paternity leave" I say and everyone laughs
"what?"
"Baby une drama" Siyamu says rolling her eyes
"You didn't ever do me a baby shower" Andiswa comments.
Everyone looks at her,but no one says a word
"If anyone is planning anything,not next month though because
it's the South African DSTV Awards" Sandile says, completely
ignoring the elephant in the room
"Next month is next week though" Siyamu says rolling her eyes
" also why are you guys planning my surprise baby shower while
I'm here" she asks and everyone laughs again, except the
elephant in the room. "mmh your huge headed baby is kicking"
I put my hand on her stomach,she puts her hand on mine to
guide me where the kicks are. I see Buhle taking a video. I smile
when I feel a soft kick. Thapelo removes my hand and puts his
"Thapelo Ronaldo ka malume" he says smiling and everyone
laughs. Andiswa stands up to leave while everyone bundles up
to feel the kicks on Siyamu's stomach. This is what I needed to
distract me,I'm honestly glad they are here.
75
Siyamu's pov:
He looks at me,my stomach touching his abdomen,I can see
he's about to break but he's keeping it all in.
"I'm here for you all the way" I say pulling him in for a hug.
We're next to Thapelo's car since they are about to go to the
graveyard. Apparently pregnant women aren't supposed to go
there so I have to stay behind,the kids also can't go so we're
going to stay with them and the rest of the ladies that are
preparing the food. Buhle decided to stay with me while the
others go support Thando. I saw Ntokozo but I saw him from a
distance,with his wife and she looked pregnant?did she not say
that her figure is going to get ruined?Lwandile decided to stay in
Cape Town because she's feeling a little under the weather but
Bayanda made it,with a lot of convincing it finally happened. He
mouths 'i love you' and I smile,letting his hand go. On a normal
day Thapelo would be complaining about how long we're taking
but today,today is just different.
So a week ago this man posted the picture I took of him
sleeping on his IG story. He was feeling for kicks and his head
was laying on my stomach but he fell asleep while at it. Take
note that I was half naked,I didn't have my top on but only my
stomach was showing. His caption was 'my new favourite place'.
Now he made a video compiling pictures of him and his gran,
videos of her and then in that video was a picture of me
hugging his grandmother. Now people are screenshoting and
they're wondering if we're back together. So nje it's drama. I
wanted my pregnancy reveal to shock everyone but ke ukuba
nendoda ephaphayo
We sit in Thando's room since the sitting area is full old people.
Princess is now sleeping on the bed. I tuck her in bed because
it's hella cold. We get a fleece blanket and chill on the sofa. Ma
walks in with two dishes of food,one is for me and the other
one is for Buhle
"Haa ma the others aren't back" I say
"This is the rural areas, there won't be any left overs and you'll
see the line" she says and I laugh making sure I'm not loud
"When are you eating?" I ask
"Ngempela ma,ever since we've arrived you've been up and
down, please sit" she nods and out the door she is. She comes
back with another plate and a bowl,for Princess I think. She
goes out again and comes back with juice and scones. We say
grace and dig in
"Manje ma ukahle?" I ask and she sighs
"Your father in law has become one crazy son of a bitch,oh lord
forgive me for my language but he's changed in so many ways
possible" she says. I've gotten used to her since she literally
lives with Thando so everytime I'm there I see her
"I'm so sorry ma. But he must get his act right before I teach
him a lesson" I say and they laugh at me
"What lesson are you going to teach him?" Buhle asks
laughing,about to cry
"I'm going to hit him,ngeke akholwe (he won't believe it). He's
not only messing up his family but also their lives. This is putting
a strain to my relationship with Thando because of him. You
know sometimes I'd find him crying and then he wouldn't tell
me what's going on because his father told him only pussies
cry" I sniff,Buhle rubs my back
"Fucken hormones" Buhle and I say at the same time and
everyone laughs
"Chocolate chip cookies" I randomly blurt out.
"What?" Buhle questions and the river works start. Ma comes
by my side and hushes me.
"Don't cry, please tell me what's wrong?" I take out my phone
from my pocket and give it to Buhle
"Call Thando please and tell him I want chocolate chip cookies
and doughnuts" I sniff. Buhle gives me a bored expression while
searching for his number "it's on speed dial you dummy"
"Aren't you the one who needs help?" she asks,ma giggles and I
continue crying while stuffing my face with food. Buhle puts it
on speaker as he answers
"Sthandwa sami, everything okay?" he asks
"Ahy ahy Thando reprimand your girlfriend. She's busy crying
here" Buhle says
"Why is she crying?is everything okay?" how he still manages to
sound so calm amazes me
"Baby I want chocolate chip cookies and doughnuts and I want
a fatcook. Pretty please" I beg sniffing
"Is that all you want?" he questions
"Yes" I say
"Alright,I love you,bye" he says before hanging up. I decided to
take a nap next to princess after eating, I'm really tired
I'm woken up by a loud bang in the room,my face filled with
confusion. There's a figure infront of me but my vision is still
blurry.
"Ntokozo?" I ask lifting my head up,noticing that I was in the
room alone with him
"I'm sorry for waking you up" he says pacing up and down. I get
off the bed and wear my boots before making the bed look
neat. I go over to him and hold him by his arms
"What's going on?" I ask because his eyes are bloodshot red
"I miss her so much" he starts crying. I pull him in for a hug,his
hands wrap around waist as he cries his eyeballs out on my
dress because my coat is hanged on the chair. He holds me tight
and I just rub his back because he's hurting and clearly his wife
doesn't care. I close my eyes feeling warm,yeah I'm still drowsy
but if he's back that means that Thando is also back. I hear a
camera shot sound and it's none other than Nelisiwe
Sangweni,holding a camera and taking pictures of us in that
compromising state. This is bad. Ntokozo lets me go almost
immediately
"Sorry" he says and Neli laughs,walking out of the room. I wear
my coat and leave Ntokozo to gather himself. I call Thando to
ask him where he is and he appears to be outside in the tent
with the others. I walk out after fixing myself and look for them.
I find them in the tent, atleast the sun is out now. I join them
and Thapelo laughs
"Boss lady. I respect you mna, you made Thando crazy on which
doughnuts to buy. He couldn't even find a place that sells
fatcooks and he almost cried" everyone joins in laughing
"Stop being dramatic" Thando shoves Thapelo. He gives me the
plastic from Woolworths. I start with the chocolate chip
cookies,oh god they taste so good and since there's a lot of
them I decided to share with everyone we're sitting with.
Thando's dad makes his way to us with a slender chick. You
know the definition of a goddess. He clears his throat. I put
Thando's hand in mine because I'm feeling cold
"Thando" he says,Ntokozo follows after him and sits down next
to Fikile. Nelisiwe is nowhere to be found. Thando ignores the
man
"Bayanda you've grown up so much now and ohhh Thapelo,you
even got married" the girls says,uhm who are you bitch? She
gives Thando that 'i want you' look
"Lwethu baby,where is our daughter?you look so handsome"
she says. Daughter?is this Snothando's mother?wow
"You don't have a child,your child died when you were 18"
Thando says,uhm cold much
"Thandolwethu that's not how you talk to your future wife" his
dad reprimands him
"Oh friend you made it" Neli steps in with Andiswa by her side.
They share hugs. Andiswa is here?wtf
"Who is this cheap thing I hear you're dating?" She says looking
at me up and down "I'm Londi by the way, Thando's future
wife"
"Oh girl,I've been wondering when we'll meet,I've heard so
much about you" I say with the best fake smile ever,
maintaining tight eye contact
"Londi oh my god,I follow you on Instagram and you are fire. I
love you so much" Fikile says,fake
"Oh so guys I've got a story about our famous Londi" Thapelo
starts while smiling "so she had this man, emphasis on the had.
She had this rich man called Abdul Aziz,she used to live in Dubai
with him and now she's-"
"Oh cut it out Thapelo,where's my child?Snothando!" she
shouts
"Ntombazane this is my mother's funeral" Thando's dad says. I
feed Thando one of the doughnuts and wipe the cream that
was on his cheek. Buhle laughs because she knows how much
we don't care. I just want to eat my food in peace but I've never
prepared myself to meet my boyfriend's baby mama and she
looks like she's going to be a problem
"Thando my child doesn't have milk" Andiswa says and honestly
I'm tired of this,she's crazy
"This ugly skunk is even pregnant" Londi says while pulling my
coat. Thando stands up infront of
me,Buhle,Thapelo,Sandile,Mandla and Bayanda also stand up
infront of me
"Touch her again and I'll slit that fake jelly on your ass before
making you eat it" Bayanda says
"Yeah bitch that's our baby mama" Buhle says
"Oh I wouldn't be too comfortable if I were you girl,I've got
something that could break your relationship" Neli says and
Ntokozo and I stare at each other. Snothando comes
running,she moves past my 'guards' and opens her arms wide
"Mommy" she says while I adjust her to sit properly on my lap. I
smirk at Londi
"Little bitch I'm your mother" she shouts and Snothando pays
no mind to her.
76
Siyamu's pov:
"It was really nothing!stop being childish" Ntokozo shouts at
Thando. Neli just sent our picture to the family group and now
everyone here is looking at us because these guys are shouting
at each other
"Childish?so if Neli hadn't stepped in the room ubuzolala
naye?(you were going to sleep with her?)" Thando asks. I'm just
there,standing as if I'm mute. So I'm a slut?
"Daddy,uncle stop it" Snothando cries and Bayanda takes her
into his arms as I'm standing up now
"Thandolwethu please calm down" I ask and he pushes me with
so much force that I stumble back but luckily there's a chair so I
hold on to it. Sandile stands up, shielding me
"Ngeke ke Thando mfethu ushaye imeddie yakho kanje(you
can't hit your girlfriend like this)" he intervenes
"She deserves to be hit,to fix her whoring ways" Londi
comments. I rub my hands up and down my stomach while
breathing in and out. I hope I don't lose my cool
"What's going on here?" Maka Thando asks looking really
pissed by the shouting
"Can't you guys see that there's one person who is the common
denominator in this problem. It's this bitch with no backbone"
Andiswa says and I'm surprised that she can even say a word
like denominator. She's a toothless pitbull,all bark but no bite
"You could've done better Thando" Londi says
"I agree"- Neli
"Atleast he'll leave her after this" the absent father says
"Enough! All of you shut your damn runny mouths" ma says. I
stand up and I see Ntokozo mouth a 'sorry'. I nod,I know it isn't
his fault or am I being naïve?
"I'm leaving,when you decide to get your act together you'll
find me where I live" I say taking the car keys from Sandile. I see
Thapelo nodding his head in disapproval.
"She always runs away from her problems,fat bitch" Londi says
and I sigh as the triplets laugh,limping my way to the car. Not
that I'm hurt or anything,I just want my man to feel guilty. I
unlock the car and slide into the backseat. I see a commotion in
the tent but I pay no attention to it. After a few minutes I see
Sandile coming towards the car while holding Buhle over his
shoulder and her heels in the other hand. This girl is trouble
hey. She wriggles her way out of his hold and opens the door.
She attacks me with a hug while Sandile opens the other door
and does the same
"Yerrr wena Sandile you were supposed to let me hit that bitch"
she complains
"No baby,as much as they have disrespected your best friend,it
is still an old woman's funeral. We must respect her" he says
and honestly he's the only one who can tame this girl,imagine I
would've ruined all of this.
"If you guys don't mind,may we please go?" I ask and they nod.
Buhle makes herself comfortable next to me while Sandile calls
the other people we came with. Lunga enters in the front seat
while Okuhle sits next to me in the back with Buhle.
Bayanda,Thapelo and all of them come to say goodbye except
Thando,his dad and the three musketeers. I don't know how to
explain this feeling. I've been so embarassed but I'm mostly
hurt that Thando thought I could sleep with his brother. I rest
my head on Buhle's shoulder as the car starts,slowly feeling
sleep welcome me into its warm arms.
"Wakey wakey,eggs and bacon" Buhle says smiling at me. We're
not at my apartment,but at her house "you're sleeping over and
I'm not taking no for an answer"
"But my clo-" I try to talk but get cut off
"I still have my maternity clothes so don't worry" she says
helping me out of the car. I can't believe I slept the whole way. I
walk into the house and I'm welcomed by a warm atmosphere
as Spho attempts to run but falls
"Athi(tries to say aunty)" she cries and I run over to pick her up.
I hug her as she calms down
"Ungakhali baby (don't cry)" I say to her as I wipe her tears. She
cups my face with her small hands "I love you sthandwa sami
ne?"
"La la vuuu" she responds and I smile. She's grown so much. We
eat the dinner they bought on our way back. Everyone is
engaging in the conversation but my mind isn't here,even the
babysitter is laughing carefree. I try to smile when Buhle or
Sandile ask me questions. We call it a night and I leave the next
morning in Buhle's saggy pants and maternity pyjama top with
flip flops and socks. I'm late, I rush to work. When I get there
Sanele is waiting for me outside. I rush out of the car and drag
him with me into the recording studio
"Chill tiger" he says and I actually slow down
"Am I late?" I ask
"No,you're 5 minutes early. You look like a mess,what's going
on?" he asks
"Don't even ask,let's do what we do best" I say and we proceed
to different rooms to change. They style my weave and do my
makeup. I go out there and present the show with Sanele by my
side. After that we go to the boardroom for a short meeting
with the producer.
"Good morning to the both of you,I hope everyone is well?" She
starts off, raising one of her eyebrows. God she's so hot. Well
she's a lesbian,a very good looking one,with a high fade,mmh
and those lips?damn she can have me all day. If only I played for
my own team
"Yes ma'am" we say at the same time and laugh, we've gotten
so used to each other in a short space of time,it's amazing
"You can relax,you're not in any kind of trouble" she says
looking at me with her killer smile,do I look nervous? "You are
actually doing great,the people love you guys. I saw how some
people on Twitter were even suggesting you guys become a
couple" Sanele and I look at each other
"Eeeuw" I say laughing
"Just imagine" he says and we laugh
"Are you guys ready for the awards because it's going to be lit"
she exclaims showing her excitement
"I'm nervous about that,it's my first time and I'm nominated
two times?" I say and they smile. We conclude the meeting and
I drive off to my designer. I walk in with the clothes I was
wearing before and she nods her head in disapproval. I laugh
and she joins in. I fit my dress and I love the way it hugs my
body. My baby bump is showing here and everything is great.
Yes,this is how I'm going to announce my pregnancy to the
public. I leave and head home to rest. Atleast I have less gigs
because no honestly I can't do this. I still have 3 more months to
go.
I park my car and proceed to unlock my door,it's open.
Thandolwethu is probably here. I lock the door after going in. I
was right, he's sitting on my couch as if he owns it. He looks at
me with a blank facial expression,I smile at him hoping to soften
him up but nothing. I sit on the couch opposite him and switch
off the TV
"I was still watching" he looks at me
"Well I want to to talk to you" I say,staring back at him
"Why was he holding you like that?" he asks. Straight to the
point I see,no how have you been doing?
"He woke me up and I saw how he was about to break down.
He needed someone to show him that he's not alone"
"So that person had to be you?" he asks rasing his eyebrows
"Thando stop being so inconsiderate. This jealousy thing of
yours is not cute. You literally pushed me yesterday and I almost
fell. Did you even hear what your three girlfriends said to me
while you stood there and said nothing?are you happy that
once again you were the reason I almost miscarried my third
baby? Get the fuck out and stop trippin' dude. Jy is a pielkop
(you are dickhead)" I say the last part pushing him out. Once
he's out I lock the door again. I sigh as I remember what I said
to him. I didn't mean to,it all came out of anger. What have I
done?
77
Siyamu's pov:
We head off to the DSTV Awards after our photoshoot with our
photographer. Sandile is with Buhle and Sanele decided to be
my date. Thando hasn't said anything to me since last week. I
know my words hit home but I've been sending him little notes
along with gifts. I'm wearing a lavender ball gown, with a high
slit on my right thigh,which has a design of a tree. At the
bottom it's a sparkly lavender and going up the branches cover
my boobs and arms while the rest of the material is clear. It is
open on my whole stomach so it's all out there,with the line
now becoming darker. I paired it with clear pencil heels that
have diamonds around it from Fiona. My knotless braids are
tied into a neat high bun. My makeup is on point while my nails
are lavender with a white flower design. I'm looking fabulous.
The driver stops and Sanele gets off to open my door for me. As
I step out onto the red carpet,the cameras are already flashing
and a couple of journalists rush our way.
"Who are you wearing tonight DJ Siyamu?" one asks
"Did you come with Sanele to offthrow the public that you are
dating him instead of Thandolwethu Sangweni?" a woman asks.
What the fuck?
"Are you and Sanele a couple?" another asks
"Is it Sanele's baby?" a male asks and luckily my guards clear
the way. As we approach the photoshoot wall,fans start
screaming and I smile as I wave. Sanele is holding my hand
while I have my mini bag in the other. A photographer takes
pictures of me,I give my best pregnancy poses. Sanele joins in
and I let him have his alone while I talk to the event journalist
"How are you doing?you look great" she says
"I'm good,I'm good. Thank you. You look stunning yourself" I
smile at her
"Thank you. Now tell us who made this elegantly tailored
dress?" she asks and I spin around,she giggles
"This is a dress by my usual designer. Sihle Phungula" I say
"She's honestly talented. Now how come you hid this little one
from us?how many months are you now?"
"6 months now,only 3 more to go" she concludes the interview
and then we head inside with Sanele to our reserved seats. The
event starts with an opening prayer and I see so many stars
here tonight. I've already seen Anele Mdoda,Pearl Thusi,Boity
Thulo,Kabelo Motha aka Kabza De Small,Boohle and many
more. It's going to be fun. I take videos and pictures of Sanele
and I with my phone. Buhle and Sandile's seats are a row ahead
of ours. The event starts and many artists won awards that
most of them deserved. During Pabi Cooper's performance I am
called backstage because I am about to present an award for
best radio personality.
I leave my bag with Sanele and head there. I get a brief on how
to do this but I'm used to this,I present every week. Pabi Cooper
finishes with her performance,she gives my belly a kiss before
going somewhere again. They go to a short ad break. This is
live,I can't mess this up.
"Hey girl" Boity Thulo says next to me. She'll be presenting the
award with me
"Hey,you look stunning" I say winking at her. She gives me a big
smile
"You look dashing,even the little one is making you glow" she
says before the producer or whoever this guy is tells us to go on
stage. We walk onto the huge stage together,holding hands and
everyone screams, especially the fans down there.
"Good evening South Africa" Boity says and everyone greets
back.
"Let's get the party started" I say attempting to walk away
"No girl, we're here to present an award" Boity responds
holding my hand and the audience laughs "uDj Siyamu owes us
an apology as South Africa,how come we didn't know she's
pregnant all along?"everyone cheers while I giggle
"Ladies and gentlemen,these are your nominees" I say and we
stand aside to look at the big screen. It shows all the nominees
and a lady hands me the award and Boity the envelope with the
awardee.
"And then winner is..." she says
"Drum roll please" I say and I feel a surge of excitement as she
opens the envelope and I see who won. I feel my baby kick
"Oh wait guys,Siyamu junior is kicking" Boity says playing with
my belly and I laugh because the crowd went "aaahh"
"Buhle Majozi,come get your award queen!!" we say at the
same time and everyone cheers while some clap their hands. I
can't stop smiling as Buhle comes up with her whole radio
station team to accept her award. She hugs Boity first and then
the last one is for me. Buhle still uses her paternal surname
because that's how people know her but she's going to change
it soon
"I'm so proud of you sthandwa sami" I say in her ear and she
lets go after giving my belly a kiss. She says her speech and we
all get off stage. They go to the backstage red carpet while I go
back to my seat because I'm still in the dark. Some more awards
go out. Now it's time for the award I've been nominated for
"And the award of the daily TV show presenter goes to... Sanele
Mbatha" I scream while doing a video of him. He kisses my
forehead before going up there with our producer. He makes his
speech and goes to the backstage red carpet. Now the Best
Album of The Year awardee is being announced
"Congratulations Smilo!" Oh my god,Smilo got the award?I clap
my hands because I feel like now my voice is going to dissapear.
He stands up along with his team and they are singing "mina
ngenzela uma(I do it for my mother)"
I see Thando up there as Smilo delivers his speech. He thanks
Sangweni records and Thando for letting him in blah blah blah.
I'm just looking at my man in a suit,his beard freshly
trimmed,the guy has umqhele on with his beige suit and dried
lion skin hanging on his left shoulder,along with a spear in the
other hand. Oh my god,he looks super hot. I could lick him till
he bursts all over me
"You miss him,don't you?" Sanele asks. When did he get here?
"Mxm" is the only thing I manage to say. The next thing I see is
the guys on stage dancing and singing. What a happy moment
"It's getting heated in here now so let us show you the
nominees for DJ of The Year " they step aside to show the
nominees on the big screen. I see my name there and I cross my
fingers. Sanele holds my hand
"And the award goes to..." Pearl Thusi says
"Our baby mama.DJ Siyamu!" Moshe Ndiki says. It takes time to
register that it's me. I have won this award. I stand up and
Sandile follows after me,my whole team comes on stage
running as I receive the award from Pearl after hugging her
"Uhm wow,I just thought we're here to party" everyone laughs
"I would firstly like to thank God for the opportunity to be
here,to be where I am in life today. I would also like to thank my
fans,people who support me everyday,I wouldn't be anything
without you guys. I love you guys" they scream "mostly I would
like to thank Sandile,my manager and my whole team,including
my family. Without you guys nothing would have been possible.
Anyways guys next year I want to be here because I'm
nominated for upcoming artist" everyone cheers me on.
Suddenly I see Thando coming with a huge bouquet on the big
TV screens around the place. He gets on stage,he's actually
coming to me. He gives me the bouquet of white roses wrapped
in R200 notes. I take it smiling from ear to ear.
"Showoff" I mumble and he laughs before giving me a peck on
my lips. Damn I just said he's a showoff. Everyone cheers as he
proceeds to get off stage again. A tear drops "damn hormones"
they laugh once again "but let's keep up with the good work
guys. All of you look gorgeous tonight. Thank you" I say and give
Sandile the bouquet because this award is really heavy. We are
led to the backstage red carpet where I am interviewed by
Lasizwe. We go back inside to find the event about to end
The event comes to an end and now it is time to mingle. I leave
Dbn Gogo with Buhle and Sandile to go get some food. I ask for
a wors roll with lots of onions. I add a lot of ketchup,mustard
and hot sauce. I pay before taking a huge bite. I haven't moved
an inch because I'm savouring this moment,being one with the
roll and the meat. I feel a breathe of hot air run down my neck. I
turn around,mind you my mouth is still full. He pecks my lips
and smiles
"You know we can't just move on and pretend like nothing ever
happened,right?" I ask him with an eyebrow raised
"Yes I know but let's just enjoy today without any
distractions,you okay with that?" he suggests. I nod and he
takes a bite of my roll. I look at him, has he gone crazy?eating a
pregnant woman's food?but I wouldn't trade this for the world
78
Thandolwethu's pov:
"Firstly I would like to say I'm sorry for the way I spoke to both
of you guys at the wedding. It really wasn't my intention to
burst out like that,I just felt this sudden anger and you will soon
know why" Siyamthanda's mother says. We're at her house and
it's the day after the awards. She just decided to call Siyamu and
request an urgent meeting with her and I regarding our
'situation' "Thandolwethu I can tell that your intentions are
pure and I hope to God that they are because I see some
potential in you. I see that your parents instilled manners in
you,you have not even once looked me in the eye while talking
to me or even slightly raised your voice. For that I give you my
blessing to start a family with my daughter" to say I'm relieved
is an understatement
"Siyabonga ma" Siyamu says
"Now let me call this rubbish child so you can see her for
yourself" her mom says
"Mom don't call your child rubbish" Siyamu defends. She may
not have the best relationship with her little sister but that's still
her sister
"Thando!" she shouts and I hear a door opening. The TV has
been switched off since we walked in so that's why my hearing
ability is so sharp. Thando drags her feet towards us. Oh holly
molly,God of Nazareth! Siyamu drops the cup she was holding
while her mouth hangs open. I grab the tissues that are on the
coffee table because she wet her dress but luckily the glass is
plastic so it didn't break
"Don't be surprised my child,she called this upon herself. I'm
done talking to her. Maybe you can get through to her. This is
why I was mad but then I realized that I'm mad at the wrong
person,you're over 25,working and you have your own place
but to top it all up,your baby daddy is even here to help you.
This one is the problem" Siyamu's mother continues as a
pregnant looking,teenage Thando sits down
"Mom you don't have to embarrass me like that" Thando says. I
shake my head sideways not believing what I'm seeing. I close
Siyamthanda's mouth because I fly can fly in there "but look at
Siyamthanda ma,she's also pregnant so what's wrong with me
being pregnant?" she asks. Wow,she can still be disrespectful
even after the disappointment she has brought her family?
"Look at me baby girl and look at yourself. Don't compare things
that are not the same. I work and you go to school. Mom is
taking your phone away because I know you'll go and tweet
nonsense about this. Mom will show you how to take care of
the baby but she won't have sleepless nights because you fail to
wake up to feed your baby. These,my girl,are the consequences
of getting pregnant at a young age. I don't care if you miss out
at school but you will look after this baby. You open your
legs,right?deal with it. Where is the baby's father?" Siyamu says
a mouthful
"He's coming,he said he wants to pay for the damages" she
responds
"You're crazy" her mother says "crazy here" she says pointing at
her head. Thando's phone rings in her hands and she smiles.
She stands up to do god knows what.
"Mom please take away her phone" Siyamu begs and her
mother nods. Thando comes back with a man who is money
from top to bottom but him?ahy he's someone's father
"What is this?" Siyamthanda's mother asks. They sit down next
to each other on the double couch
"Sanibhonini mama ka Thindo" he says. Weeh kanti ikula?
"iSgaxa se Ndaba" Siyamu says clapping her hands once
"My name is Abdul Aziz. I am from Dubai but I ventured to
Durban to look for my wife" he says. He's even married?
"You have no shame Thando,you hear me?you have no shame"
her mother exclaims
"You might have gotten that wrong ma,his ex wife. Baby tell
them what happened" Thando comments. Wait haven't I heard
his name before?Siyamu looks at me as if she's realising
something
"Well my ex wife and I used to live in Dubai. I wanted children
but little did I know that she didn't. She kept aborting my kids
without telling me until my doctor even asked me about it. I
was so livid that I immediately got my lawyer to draft divorce
papers. She refused to walk away with nothing so she wouldn't
sign. Right now she robbed me of 30 million in Rand's. My
source tells me she is here,in Durban" what the fuck?is he
talking about Londi?
"We don't care about that,how old are you?" Siyamu asks
"I'm 49,I know I look young" he says smiling and I chuckle. He
looks at me,as if he's asking himself who the hell I am
"You have a nerve old man. Out of all the women out here you
choose an innocent 17 year old girl to knock over?did you know
that in this country it's illegal and regarded as statutory rape to
be an old man like you and have sexual orientation or even
touch a girl as young as her?" I ask looking him in the eye
"Please no bhuti!I love him" Thando comments
"You love him or you love how deep his pockets are?by trapping
him with a baby you know he's never going to stop providing for
you because a child is all he's ever wanted?" Siyamthanda asks
and I've got to give it to her. Those self defense lessons really
helped,who knew she would be able to stand up for herself one
day. Thando sniffs and her man rubs her thigh. What kind of
sick world do we live in? We leave after Siyamu and her mom
deciding a lot about Thando's situation.
I was supposed to drop Siyamu off at her apartment since we
were travelling with my car but I ended up staying there. She
apologized for what she said and I apologized for not standing
up for her against my baby mama. All is good now
"When are you going to go?" she asks
"In like 30 minutes cause I'm not done at the studio" I think I
saw her roll her eyes when I said that "you want me to stay
longer?"
"You know I would love that but I know you work hard, besides
I've also got a gig in like 2 hours" she says while playing with the
cover of my phone. She's upset
"Baby I'll make time for you next weekend,I promise you" I tell
her
"Okay let's play a game,an hour of truth. We ask each other
questions we've had but scared to ask ever since we met each
other" she says smiling. Nobody can say no to that smile. I see
where she wants to take things though
"Okay I'll start. Will you ever come live with me?" I ask and she
gasps
"Definitely,when we get married. In 6 years time" she says
giggling and I chuckle. What is up with this girl and not wanting
to merry me "okay this is a personal one but I'm just going to
shoot. Will you ever leave the life of guns?like start a family and
be a normal person?" I told you guys I know where this is going
"Since my dad and I fought, obviously I'm not doing it at the
moment. There's no leaving this thing behind because my
father is still in it and they might see me as a potential target
because they think my father cares for me. You could decrease
your involvement but truth is you will always be part of it. Once
you enter the game,there's no going back" I tell her and she
looks really concerned "baby don't worry, I'll protect you till the
day I die. Even if things don't work out between us,which I don't
see happening, I will always love you" she sighs and takes my
hands into hers. She kisses my knuckles
"I don't see myself without you, please don't make me leave
you" she says putting my left hand on her chest area
"You won't regret it" I tell her and she smiles,my hand gently
squeezes her boobies that are full by the way. The best part of
this pregnancy
"Aren't you supposed to go in 20 minutes time?" she asks
taking off her bra,teasing me
"A quickie takes 10 minutes ntokazi" I shut her up with a kiss. I
can't wait till we get married and live together.
79
Siyamu's pov:
I take off these sneakers because my feet are on fire. His
driver/bodyguard parks infront of my new apartment. Yes,I
bought a new and bigger apartment to fit my baby and I. No
baby of mine will live with their grandmother. Thandolwethu's
mom had the talk with us before we left for Dubai. That is when
we realized that we're actually not ready for the baby because
we weren't even thinking about getting a bigger space. I'm 32
weeks pregnant now,8 months and only one to go! Thando has
even payed damages for the baby and the baby will take his
surname when it's born. I remember asking him if he's sure
about paying damages and he went crazy
FLASHBACK:
"Thando are you really sure about paying damages before the
baby is born?" I ask him. He turns to me with a look telling me
he's not pleased with my question
"What are you trying to tell me?that the baby isn't mine?" he
asks
"No I just don't want it to be a big problem when the baby is
born looking like me, anything can happen" I tell him
"Well I don't care. All I know is that I trust you and I love you.
Don't make me doubt you because I'm not going anywhere. I'm
here to stay. We're not having this conversation again" he turns
around signalling that the conversation is over
END OF FLASHBACK
I open the door and I'm greeted by a cold breeze,my baby is
going to be born in winter. Thando and his other guards help
each other with my suitcases while I just walk with my phone in
my hand. I walk into my apartment and it's clean. I smile.
Sandiswa has been a really great help, Thando's mom got her
for me from Ekuruleni to help me with the baby and stuff
around the house when I'm not available
"Sisi you're back?" she asks wiping her fingers. We've been in
Dubai for two whole months and it was great
"Yes Sandiswa,thank you for keeping my place clean" she nods
smiling. Thando puts the suitcases in my room,there's about
four of them along with presents. I walk to the nursery and it's
finished. I haven't seen it since they started designing it. There's
a grey cot in the room. The wall is painted white,blue clouds,
butterflies and bees and a boy chasing after them. Yes, we're
having a baby boy. I'm excited!
"Wow,I'm actually speechless" Thando says snaking his hands
around my waist,going down to my belly. His baby starts
dancing ke. He moves now, rotates,plays and nothing makes me
happier
"This is beautiful honestly,just look at the ceiling" I say. The
ceiling is the sky at night with all the stars out to play.
"Let's go out,I've got a surprise for you" he says. I look at him
and he steals a kiss. He pulls my by my hand before I even try to
protest against the idea. I hope he's not going to propose again.
So a month ago,in Dubai he booked the whole restaurant. We
ate dinner and it was nice,we had a great time. Out of the blue
he gets on his knee and asks me to marry him. I panicked so bad
but I ended up telling him that I'm not ready for marriage,I'm
only 25 guys. The night ended in a meloncholy mood but he
understood where I was coming from,he's also 28 afterall. I
notify Sandiswa that I'm going out. We get in his car and he
blindfolds me. Really?at that moment I'm walking barefoot. This
jumpsuit is getting tighter by the second,or am I just scared of
what I might find?
"You're not even giving me a clue?" I ask and he chuckles. God
damnit,can he just kidnap me?
"It's white" he says. What is white manje?
"Really,Thando? really?" I ask again,rolling my eyes forgetting
that he can't see me. I hear a door open after what feels like
forever. He takes my hand in his,I know it's him because oh well
that's my man. I step out being careful because it feels like
we're on gravel road
"Thando guide me please,I'm not wearing any shoes" I say and
he laughs
"Showing your ugly toes to everyone" I snort
"I have cute toes for your information,you're the one who has
ugly toes! Besides,who is everyone?" I ask and he laughs.
Laughing at my misery
"Okay baby I'm nervous,I don't know how you'll react to this"
he says and I feel him taking off the blindfold. Probably a baby
shower. The light blinds me for a second. His hands are on my
shoulders,turning me around before I can even take in the
environment around me
"Open it" he points his head towards the big box. There is a guy
with a camera taking pictures and I see Thapelo holding
Thando's phone, probably taking a video. It's a really big box. I
pull the ribbon and it falls apart. Pink balloons make their way
rushing out before revealing a beast. A white Range Rover?what
does he want me to do with it?I'm confused
"What's going on?" I ask looking at Thando and then at a
laughing Thapelo
"Uhm,the car baby... It's yours,I bought it for you" he stutters.
He's really nervous
"Why?" I ask and he takes my hands into his
"Because we're about to have a baby and you need a bigger car.
Don't even start asking me if you can't afford it because I know
you can afford to buy yourself this car. I know it baby,I really do.
This isn't to make you look weak or anything. I just want to
show you how much I appreciate you carrying our precious
cargo" he reasons and I smile,pulling him in for a hug. He smells
great. I sniff as I feel tears prick my eyelids
"How are you feeling ntokazi?" Thapelo asks and I chuckle
"Really hungry" I say letting go of Ndo while wiping my tears. He
laughs while slapping his thigh
"Nothing new there" he mutters after catching his breathe
" What is that supposed to mean?Thapelo I'm really
hungry,don't laugh" I pout. I shudder as the cold wind hits my
face. Thapelo continues laughing at me,still filming though
"You cold?" Ndo asks me. I nod yes. He takes off his hoodie and
I wear it over my jumpsuit. It fits tightly over my belly but
atleast I won't be cold anymore and I smell like him.He hands
me the keys and I unlock my new car. New car bahlali. A whole
Range Rover Evoque belongs to me? The interior design is
cream white and the seats are engraved with my initials. S.T,
guys I'm in tears. The new car smell is heavenly. I start the car
"Everyone get in!" I shout while the window rolls down.
"Babe you're not driving while you're pregnant" Thando
responds opening the driver's seat door
"Yeah baby mama, remember that story?" Thapelo adds. I
groan,they've been acting paranoid ever since we saw that
story of a pregnant woman dying in a car accident on the news.
"I don't know about y'all but I'm going back home in a Rover" I
say and they laugh. I jump over to the passenger seat,don't ask
me how. My feet feel like I've been standing all day but I
haven't. I'm on maternity leave. Thando also took paternity
leave because anything can happen he said, dramatic. Thando
jumps in the driver's seat. We end up deciding that Thapelo will
drive back to Thando's house in the car we came in and Thando
will drive me home in my new car. He drives me home and
walks me inside. He had to go back to his house though because
princess has school tomorrow. I hope this is the start of
something great. Who knows?maybe I might even consider
getting married at a young age. I guess we'll have to chill and
see.
80
Thandolwethu's pov:
"You still don't want to talk?you really don't value your life" I
say to this ugly son of a bitch while cleaning my gun. Fischer
chuckles
"Should I drown him boss?" I shake my head side to side
"Not yet. Andrew,pliers." I say putting my gun back to safety
mode before putting it back on my waist.
"No please,not my fingers boss" he begs. Music to my ears.
Andrew gives me the pliers and steps back
"So you can talk now?why don't you tell me what I want to
hear?tell me who sent you to spy on my daughter" I say while
positioning his pinkie finger in the pipe grabber. He says
nothing and that's an invitation. I press the pliers hard,he
muffles a scream. Oh so it isn't painful enough?I release his
finger before hitting his wrists countless times with the pliers.
He starts bleeding on both hands but I don't stop till he screams
"Stop!" I stop and smile. His face is really messed up,thanks to
my guys
"Acid!" I command while wearing my protective gloves. "If you
don't spit your bosses name,you see your precious
girlfriend?you will watch her die and your son?he will die
infront of you too. You better start deciding" Sphatho comes
back with a bucket and a bottle spray of acid. I grab a chair and
sit down infront of this guy. I spray his knee and he screams. His
skin looks like it's peeling off. I spray the other knee and he
continues to scream. He's not budging so I spray his private
parts. His BVD slowly but surely falls apart where I have sprayed
the acid. I spray his privates again, disgusting,he doesn't even
shave. He screams some more while the skin on his penis falls
off
"You are disgusting man,you are heartless!" he shouts
"Only one way to end the pain and I'll let you go,a free man" I
say giving him a million dollar smile. I'm arrogant like that
"First promise me you'll protect me" he says through gritted
teeth. Finally!
"I promise" I say and the gents laugh. Are we in creche or
something?
"My boss is Senzo Mdunge" he says and honestly I'm not
surprised
"Ugh that old man doesn't give up. What does he want?"-
Sphatho
"He wanted us to kidnap your daughter because he wants the
guns you stole from him. They cost him a lot" I spray his
stomach and he cries "dude I just helped you"
"Yeah but if I didn't catch you,you wouldn't be helping me.
Honestly that man can hold a grudge. We stole them last year
and he's still there?"
"Those guns cost 10 million and you sold them for 15 million"
he projects. I spray his arms because he talks too much
"You know for a man,you talk too much. I hope you said
goodbye to your family because it was the last time you saw
them"
"What?what?you promised me" he says and we all laugh.
"Dude you're 39?but you still do promises" I say taking the
bucket of acid and pouring it on him while he screams,begging
for his life. His skin starts peeling off and blood oozes from his
face. I can see his mandible and his maxilla(jaw bones). His legs
have no more skin,only bone is now to see. He finally stops
screaming and the guys clean up. I wait for them because we've
got to discuss the way forward for old man Senzo but yesterday
was Siyamu's baby shower and she slept over at my house so I
don't want her waking up and noticing I'm not in the house. We
get in the car and Andrew drives.
When I get home I see Ntokozo's car outside. We park and
enter. The house is clean,I'm sure Aus'lolo did all this because
yesterday we came back from the venue and drank a lot of
alcohol. We enter the house and the children are already up
and about, watching TV
"Dad!" Princess shouts running towards me. I pick her up and
give her a big hug. I'll never get used to this. I put her down
after giving her countless kisses. We pass by the kitchen and
find Ntokozo drinking juice
"Let's talk in my study" I say and they all follow me to my study.
We get in and Sphatho closes the door
"Sho mfethu,what brings you here in the early hours of the
morning?" I ask Ntokozo who is staring at the floor
"Eish mfethu,I messed up bro" he rubs his face roughly
"Ka eng bafo?(with what bro?)" I ask
"I found Fikile in my damn bed with a cheese boy wanna be. I
beat her up till she was unconscious man,but the boy?he's
dead. Anyways Fikile is in hospital and I found out that the boy
is Ceaser's son"
"What!?" I stand up. Fuck! This boy knows how to invite
trouble. I see the gents shaking their heads in disapproval
"Ngeke phela,ngimdala kunawe,ngeke ungithethise. I know I
messed up!(I'm older than you,you won't reprimand me)" he
also stands up. The door opens and Siyamu walks in rubbing her
eyes,yawning.
"Baby wh-" she opens her eyes and notices all these men. I
think her memory is coming back because
Sphatho,Andrew,Fischer and Msenti were at her apartment
when the whole Kyle situation broke out. She's wearing a
maternity pink silk night dress with her sleepers. Her nipples
are teasing through her dress. Her stomach big and she's
walking like a duck. A very sexy duck
"Oh...uhm,sanibonani" she says while her eyes roam around
the room and land on Ntokozo. He smirks before winking. I feel
my blood boiling. The other gents look at me for permission to
talk to her. I nod
"Wola boss lady" Sphatho says
"Sure sure maT-man" Andrew says. Fischer isn't much of a
talker. I watch Ntokozo as he rips her dress apart with his eyes
"Ntokozo fuck off!" I shout. Siyamu looks at me,standing in one
place "Siyamthanda buyela la ophuma khona!(go back where
you came from)" I command. She raises her eyebrows
"Excuse me?angizwanga(I didn't hear you correctly)" she says
with her hand on her waist
"Phuma Siyamthanda (get out)" I say taking out my gun and
pointing it at Ntokozo. Siyamu's eyes pop out
"Hayibo Thandolwethu,put the gun down" Siyamthanda
reprimands and I point the gun to her
"Boss" Sphatho speaks
"No man fuck off. Ntokozo has been eyeing my woman for a
good while now. Just because his woman is cheating on him,he
wants to take mine!?this is my woman and he's got to know
that" I say. Siyamthanda walks towards me and puts her head
on the front of my gun
"Shoot,angithi you have balls wena. Hit me here" she says
pointing at her forehead with her finger. She clicks her tongue
"I thought so" she walks away,walking out of the study.
Sphatho smirks. He knows if it was just any girl,she would have
begged for her life.
Siyamu's pov:
I wake up Sandile because he ended up sleeping here
yesterday. Buhle said she missed her baby. I'm so fucken mad. I
go to the guest room to say goodbye to the twins. I take a quick
shower and I start lotioning. The door opens and Kuhle steps in.
I stand up and hide my body with the duvet because I'm fully
naked. He locks the door and turns to me with a smile
"Hayibo Kuhle I'm naked" I say shocked. What is about to
happen. He takes off his vest and walks towards me. I step
back and grab my phone on the headboard. I press the
emergency button and I see Thando's number and I call him. He
takes my phone and throws it on the bed
"We won't enjoy this if you are busy with your phone" he says
pulling the duvet and it falls off. My belly is exposed along with
my boobs. He touches my back and pulls me closer to him. I
slap him with the back of my hand and he chuckles "I like them
fiesty"
"Fuck off" I say and he punches me on my face. I hold my cheek
in disbelief. He pushes me on the bed with so much force that I
feel my back on fire. It's no use screaming because Thando got
his room sound proofed when his mom moved in. I'll just hope
and wait. I say a silent prayer
"Oh your punani looks so damn good" he shouts touching my
pussy. I try to kick but his hands hold my feet down. I stretch
my arms looking for my phone and he rubs himself on my
entrance. Tears run down my face
"Leave me the fuck alone or you'll regret it" I say through
gritted teeth and he laughs. I can't seem to find my phone. I see
the door handle turn and I just keep quiet. He licks my punani
and I kick his throat with my heel. He groans and the next thing
the door is down. I let the tears run down as I take the sheet
and try to cover my body. My eyes meet with Thando's eyes.
His face is blank but his eyes carry a lot of emotions. The other
men carry Kuhle out as he curses at me,calling me every type of
bad name. I stand up and notice that we're now alone in the
room but the door is still down. He hands me track pants and a
hoodie. Underwear has become so uncomfortable. I can't
explain how much I'm hurting
"You know what?maybe you were right. Ever since I met you
I've felt nothing but pain. I almost got raped by your cousin in
our room. The room we first made love in. The room we shared
so many secrets in. I love you but I can't do this anymore.
You've brought me pain, trauma and hurt. Maybe I need space
to decide what I really want because I thought I wanted you,but
do I really want my child to grow up in an environment like
this?you even have the nerve to point me with a gun?I'm done
with this" I tell him taking my clothes from his closet and
packing them in a suitcase
"No baby, please,Siyamu don't go. You can do anything to me
sthandwa sami but please don't leave me" he begs. If I wasn't
on the verge of giving birth I would go to another country but I
really need to overlook this,our relationship.
81
Siyamu's pov:
"Sisi please come out to eat,you've been in there for 3 days. I
made spaghetti and meatballs" Sandiswa shouts from the other
side of the door
"I'm not hungry,thank you" I shout back and then silence. I open
my curtains for the first time since I came home that day I
almost got raped. I open a bag of Lays and I chow them while
watching the sun set. I finish the packet of chips and close the
curtains again. I curl myself up in bed hoping to fall asleep but it
just doesn't happen. I touch my belly hoping that my boy moves
but he doesn't
"Come on baby,move for mommy" I beg him but nothing "listen
I'm sorry depriving you visits from your father but I just can't
see him after what he saw" just then I hear a key turning
because I locked the door. I look up at the door and Sandiswa
walks in
"I'm so sorry sisi but you left me no choice but to call bhuti" she
says and Thando appears behind her. He's carrying two plates
with food
"Thank you Sandi" he says as he closes the door and locks it. I
sit up and he sits next to me "let's feed you guys" he takes one
of the plates and starts feeding me,then himself. We finish the
whole plate and start eating the other one. Don't look at me
like that,I'm eating with a man and a boy here. Sandiswa sure
knows how to cook. When we're done he puts the plate on the
dressing table. He goes into my bathroom and comes back with
wipes. Since he has walked in,I haven't noticed how tired he
looks. He looks drained,his shoulders are slumping,his eyes a
dark brown colour and his lips are dry. What is going on with
him?
He doesn't stop staring at me as he sits where he was before.
He touches my stomach which looks like it's about to pop,with
stretch marks all over it. This traitor of a baby starts kicking
softly when his father lays his head on my stomach. He bobs his
head up to look at me
"Thank you for carrying my treasure,I'm so glad it was you" his
sexy eyes staring back at mine. I nod because I don't know what
to say. He turns his body and he's now hovering over me. He
smashes his lips on mine gently,we break the kiss to catch our
breathes. I take off my t-shirt and he unclips my maternity bra.
My boobies have been so painful these days. He takes off his
hoodie,followed by a vest
"Baby you're 36 weeks pregnant, we're not supposed to be
having sex" he tries to argue
"You'll be gentle,just don't muff me" I say shutting him up. I
don't want memories of what happened the last time with
Kuhle. He kisses both my breasts softly before going down to
my huge belly. I help him take off my leggings and now my
vagina is all exposed to him because I don't wear panties
anymore, they're uncomfortable. He takes off his track pants
and his underwear. I wrap my arms around his neck while he
leaves a trail of wet kisses from my neck to my breasts. He sucks
on the skin of my nape, really hard and I moan out in pleasure.
He turns me to lay on my side since he knows laying on my back
hurts like hell. He suckles on the other side of my neck and I
keep moaning in pleasure. His fingers play with my folds,I push
them in and he takes them out. My eyes were closed so I open
them to look at him
"Beg my love" he says in his husky voice. I can feel the wetness
of my vagina and I can't take it anymore
"Please baby, please" I say and he smirks
"Please what?" he asks acting dumb
"Please service me" he chuckles before he opens my legs for
access. He rubs himself on my opening up and down making me
moan,wanting more "pleaseee" he slams into me without
warning "ohh,yes,right there" he thrusts in deeper and deeper. I
feel my eyes rolling to the back of my head. He thrusts in and
out groaning. I moan out loud as I'm about to cum. My legs
shake as I reach my climax,he thrusts through my climax before
he reaches his. He breathes out loudly as he pulls out. He
comes back with a warm towel and wipes me up before wiping
himself. His head is between my breasts as I feel his breathing
change
"Baby you okay?" I ask and he just breaks down. We hold each
other tightly as we both cry in each other's arms. I cry till I feel
myself having a headache. He goes back to the bathroom and
comes back with my towel. He has already washed his face but
his eyes are still bloodshot. He wipes my face with the towel
since I had mucus. He also takes my lotion and lotions my face.
His dick is still semi-hard as he walks around my room naked.
When he comes back we cuddle in bed. His head is inbetween
my boobs while my hands are around his neck
"You know baby,that day,I thought that I'd rather die than get
raped while I'm pregnant,I kept thinking what if I didn't have
that emergency button,what if you weren't in the house
because Kuhle wouldn't have stopped. I was wrong for blaming
you and stupid really,you never told him to try and rape me. I'm
really sorry for all the things I said to you. I was really hurt and
confused by everything that's been happening in my life lately. I
even thought of ending my life a couple of times but I just
couldn't bring myself to doing that while I was pregnant" I say
and venting surely feels good
"Firstly,I just want to apologize to you Well I was already mad
that day because Ntokozo was hitting on you,winking and stuff.
On top of that he killed an evil man's son and now he wants us
to help him with protection and stuff. Who does that? I'm sorry
for how I spoke to you in front of those guys but damn he
knows how to get on my nerves. This," he cups my vagina with
his hand "this is mine,nobody else will ever touch here after
me" he says making me giggle "when Kuhle did what he did,I
was raging with anger but I didn't kill him. I wanted to ask you
what we should do with him"
"I don't wanna see him. Don't kill him,just make him regret ever
trying to rape. I know you have doctors there,make sure you
chop off his penis and his balls. Oh also make him paralyzed" I
say touching my chin thinking of how good my work will be
"Ahy baby your brain is damaged manje,I feel so bad" he says
chuckling
"No,you just unleashed a devil that was waiting to come out" he
laughs so hard making me annoyed. I remove my hands from
his neck and push his head away but he grabs my waist
tighter,still laughing
"You're so fucking annoying man,even though your laugh is so
sexyyy" I unbuckle his hands from my waist and stand up to
look at myself in the mirror. This is disgusting. I put my hand
over my mouth to muffle my cry. I hate my body so much
"Hey,baby don't cry" he holds me from the back "you're
honestly beautiful maTshabalala,those stretch marks symbolise
strength,how strong you are to be carrying our boy after
everything you went through. Whoever says otherwise must
fuck off. I love you sthandwa sami"
82
Thandolwethu's pov:
"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday
dear Snothando . Hip hip hooray! Hip hip hooray!" we all sing.
Princess is just blushing shyly. We're doing her 10th birthday
party at Umhlanga Hotel, where all her new friends from school
and her cousins are going to be celebrating with her.
"Make a wish baby" I say and she closes her eyes,when she
opens them,she blows out the candles on her birthday cake.
Everyone claps their hands. I take her hand in mine to help her
hold the knife and then we proceed to cutting the cake
"Are you having fun?" I ask her and she nods
"So so much fun,you know dad,even Ntokomalo is playing with
us,miss goody two shoes" she says and I chuckle
"Snothando that's mean" I reprimand her
"Dad it's true,she always stays away from us,like we're some
dirty things. She saw the chocolate fountain and lost her mind"
she blabbers on and I just laugh while dishing up cake for
everyone with Thapelo's help. The kids form a line to collect
their cake and they sit down. The adults dropped their kids off
and had to leave,the only older people that are here are my
friends, Siyamu's friends and my mother. I see a commotion at
the door and I walk over to the guards
"Why is there a commotion here?why do I pay you guys?" I ask
the two guards at the door
"Boss she's trying to bribe us to get in,but as per your
instruction nobody who isn't on the guest list comes in" one of
them says
"You know you're like a fly,just when I think I've gotten rid of
you,you fly right back into my zone. What do you want this
time?" I look at her as she fixes the short dress that she's
wearing
"I want to be present at my daughter's birthday party,I promise
I won't cause any trouble baby" she says making me laugh
"Londi?and not causing any trouble?oh please. You can fool
them all" I say
"You can't deprive me of seeing my child" she says and I roll my
eyes
"If you cause any trouble,and I mean even looking at my wife,
you'll be out of here. Mka Abdul(Abdul's wife)" I say and her
nose flares. I laugh before stepping inside. Siyamu looks at me
and she's not happy at what she sees. I just don't want Londi
causing a scene over nothing. Londi struts over to Snothando
who is stuffing her cute face with cake. Thapelo makes his way
to me
"And then?" he asks looking at Londi
"I just want her out of my hair" I say and he laughs
"Which hair?" he asks and we both laugh. I look over at
Snothando who looks confused by whatever her absent mother
is telling her. We walk over to the group of adults here
"T-man,was just telling the girls how proud of you I am. 10
damn years of you raising a girl child" Zakhe says clapping his
hands once,mmh he's getting drunk
"It wouldn't have been possible without my mom and all the
people who helped me. Guys Thapelo used to wake up at night
to go buy the formula when it's finished,you still remember?" I
look at my mom smiling. Thapelo laughs remembering that day
"Guys I cried over the phone because princess was crying non-
stop and I didn't know which type of formula to buy" Thapelo
tells his tale. He's probably going to tell people this till we die.
Everyone laughs and I look over at Siyamu who looks like she is
playing games on her phone. I wonder what's eating her up,I
don't like it when she's like this
"Mmh" she moans like she's in pain while her eyes are
closed,her hand on her stomach
"Sthandwa sami,what's going on?" I ask rushing over to her
chair
"Nothing,I'm fine" she says through gritted teeth.
"No baby,you're sweating profusely" I say holding her hand
"look at me, what's going on?" I ask and she forces a smile.
Snothando runs over to us
"Mom you won't believe this" she says before putting her eyes
on Siyamu. I help her stand up "woah dad,is mom okay?I think
she just peed on the chair"
"Woah shit,Siyamu you're in labour" I say already panicking
"Daddy you said a bad word" Snothando says and I see my
mother giggle
"Sorry baby,gents a little help here?" Lunga holds Siyamu on her
left side while I hold the right. Damn she's so heavy,her
breathing pattern changes
"Where's her baby bag?" Okuhle asks looking around
"In the car" Buhle says already going out
"To my car" Thapelo says going out, actually running
"Mom please stay here with the kids and I'll get-"
"Thando stop blabbering,your woman is in pain. I've got this"
she cuts me off. I nod. Siyamu starts crying
"Ahhh" she screams and stops walking
"Breathe in" Okuhle instructs and Siyamu does so. I see Londi at
the far end of the room taking pictures with Snothando. She
should be called The Instagram Absent Mother "breathe out"
Siyamu breathes out
"Let's gooo!" Siyamu screams at us while pulling my t-shirt
roughly. We start walking to the elevator,Sphatho and the gents
shield us as we make our way through. The elevator takes
forever as Siyamu sweats more by the second.
"Hold my hand" she says through gritted teeth. I hold her hand
and she crushes it in hers
"Ouch,baby uyangilimaza (you're hurting me)" I cry out
"I ain't ever letting you nut inside me again!" she says before
slapping me really hard and the gents try to hold in their laughs
but fail "oh so all of y'all want to be slapped? because I
wouldn't mind"
"No boss lady" they reply after catching their breathes
"And stop that boss lady shit,I have a name" she snaps
"Babe can you stop shouting at everyone?" I ask and she grabs
my ear pulling it with force and I groan in pain
"If you were feeling what I am feeling right now,you wouldn't
say that" she lets go and sits down. The elevator door
opens,finally!
"No,no Siyamu please get up" I beg her and she starts crying as
we try to pick her up. Lunga groans as if he's in the gym and
finally she gets up. We help her walk to the car as she practices
her breathing exercises. Thapelo starts the car as soon as we
are inside. Buhle pops in the front seat with the baby bag.
Lunga and I are sandwiching Siyamu at the backseat. We head
off and Sandile and the rest follow behind. We get to hospital in
15 minutes and she's wheeled in a wheelchair by a nurse to the
maternity ward. Luckily this is a private hospital and she's got
her own room because it's a full house in here. She's currently
sitting on the floor because she's feeling hot. The doctor walks
in,well my friend, Dr Myeza the male.
"Mr Sangweni and crew" he says nodding and everyone laughs
"So formal Dr Myeza" I say and he chuckles
"Well there's a problem with the Mrs. It's not that deep but her
water didn't entirely break so the baby won't be born until her
water breaks completely. We'll have to inject her with fluid to
make her water break,again. Then when there is no more water
in her uterus,she will be able to give birth" he says and I'm glad
he didn't use any medical terms on me cause I'd be lost
"Thanks bro" I say fist bumping him
"But I'd suggest that you guys leave her to rest because the pills
she took will make her really drowsy" he says and I nod
"Uhm guys, please can we wrap our visit up. The doctor said
she needs some rest" I say and everyone scatters around saying
their goodbyes to Siyamu,who just looks out of it. I walk
Thapelo to his car after kissing her forehead because I'm not
going anywhere. The paperwork I left at the studio will have to
wait. I still have to sort out who will be left there because when
Siyamu gives birth,I'll be right there.
"Thando,hey!" this white chick screams in the parking lot. I look
at her confused
"Better not be your side chick" Buhle states and we laugh. The
girl comes closer and offers a hug
"Nah, I'm good" I say rejecting it. She smiles at me and I offer
her a side smile. Maybe she's one of my fans
"I guess we're meant to be, remember the first time we made
love in Cape Town?" she says and Thapelo laughs,this guy is
stupid
"Ahy ahy Thando uhambe ufaka nje into yakho yonkindawo
(you go around putting your thing everywhere)" Buhle claps her
hands. Lunga is also laughing,along with Sandile. They're
supposed to have my back
"Uhm no miss,I think you misread the situation. I'm sure I've
told you before that I don't do commitment but now I have a
wife, whom I love dearly and if she found out about your little
crush she'd slit your throat open" I say and she opens her eyes
wide. Everyone else laughs while I accompany them back to
their cars. As soon as we're done I go back inside to Siyamu's
ward. I find her on the bed, sleeping with her eyebrows
furrowed. My God,this woman is a piece of art. I swear when
God made her,he took his own precious time. I kiss her slightly
opened lips and she opens her eyes slowly
"Thought it was the doctor" she whispers in a raspy voice and I
laugh lowly
"You know he'd resign to be an ancestor if he did that" she gives
me a small smile. Have you ever seen your whole heart,soul and
future in one woman?
•••
Just when Siyamu was about to get discharged,her labour pains
started again and Dr Myeza said it worked quicker than they
thought. After just 4 days. We're currently in the room where
Siyamu will give birth in.
"I love you,okay?" she says with tears in her eyes. I nod kissing
the back of her hand. The nurse pushes her hand in her vagina
again,to check how far she is
"10cm's,guys she's ready to give birth. I can feel the head" the
nurse says before two more nurses come in with equipment
"I'm going to need you to push ma'am,push hard" the nurse
says and Siyamu pushes while squeezing my hand really hard. I
use my other hand to wipe her sweat with a towel "again,you're
doing good,push!" She makes a face before pushing again
"yes,yes,good. Keep on pushing,one more time" she pushes
again while tears run down her face before she sighs heavily
and her head falls back on the pillow
"He isn't breathing,code 9" the nurse who seems to be carrying
our baby says. It's really a boy.
"What's going on?" I ask panicking. It can't be that she gave
birth to a stillborn. We can't go through that again
"Ring the bell for Dr Myeza! Heavy bleeding from the mother"
she shouts again while hitting the back of the baby's back. I look
over at Siyamu and her eyes are closed. Even the grip she had
on my hand has loosened
"Sir please cut the umbilical cord" one of the nurses say before I
hear a cough, followed by a loud cry from my boy. I cut where
they have told me to cut. I take him after they have wiped off
the blood and wrapped him in his blanket. He looks so pale but
I couldn't miss how small his nose is. I can't express how happy I
am
"Sir you're going to have to leave now, please" one of the
nurses says as the machine connected to Siyamthanda starts to
beep loudly. Our boy starts crying and a nurse escorts us out,
while taking him away from me. I see Myeza run into the room I
just left. What the hell is going on? I call my mom to let her
know that Siyamu has given birth. I go back to the waiting room
where her brothers,Siyanda and Sbusiso are and update them
on what's going on. I also take them to see our baby boy. I say a
silent prayer while looking at my boy,I can't do this without his
mother.
83
Thandolwethu's pov:
"Thando we also want to hold the baby" Siyamu's sister whines
and I chuckle while giving her my sleeping boy. Siyamu is passed
out on the bed after they have stitched her up. Apparently the
heavy bleeding was caused by her already being overly
pregnant. She was 42 weeks pregnant. Her natural hair is
sprawled out on the pillow, while her hands are clutching onto
the blanket.
"Dude have you decided what his name is going to be?" Siyanda
asks me
"Nah man,I want Siyamthanda to be awake and we'll decide
together" I say but to be honest,it wasn't a difficult decision. We
decided when she was still pregnant but they don't have to
know that.
"Manje uthe uzoyiletha nini ilobola?(now when did you say
you'll bring the dowry?)" Siyanda asks and I laugh. Sbusiso
playfully hits him on the shoulder
"You could sell my sister,I don't trust you anymore" Sbusiso
replies while chuckling. Someone clears their throat and we all
look at the bed. She's finally awake
"Do you want some water?" her mother asks and she nods. She
pours her a glass of water and helps her drink.
"How are you feeling?" my mother asks and she touches her
belly,sighs,and closes her eyes. Our boy cries in her sister's arms
and she opens her eyes realising that her boy is healthy and
kicking. Nomfundo hands her the baby and she smiles looking
at her crying baby. She immediately takes out her breast to feed
him,which looks thick and filled to the brim
"Ahy ahy Siyamthanda man" Sbusiso says and Siyamu rolls her
eyes. My boy sucks on it like he's never ate since he was born.
Okay,he really hasn't.
"Siyamu we need a name,we can't keep calling him 'the baby'"
Nomfundo says and we laugh because we've been saying that
for the past two hours. Siyamu looks at me before saying
anything,I nod. I might not say it but I love the amount of
respect my wife has towards me
"Ndabezinhle" she says and I see Siyanda and Nomfundo taking
pictures of her feeding our boy. Ndabe,my first son. I also snap a
picture of the beautiful moment
"What a beautiful name" my mother comments and Siyamu's
mother agrees with her
"Manje nizombiza ngo Zinhle?(so you're going to call him
Zinhle?)" Siyanda says and we laugh. How did this guy miss the
opportunity to be a comedian?
"Mxm Siyanda ngeke,you're going to make my son gay. Uwu
Ndabe" I say and Siyamthanda smiles
"The second one?" Nomfundo asks
"Uluthando lwabazali" I say because this little man was made
out of love,the purest form of love. Everyone rejoices and they
stay a little longer before leaving.
"Not in a bad way but I thought they would never leave" I say
before pecking her lips and kissing sleeping Ndabe's forehead.
She giggles
"I'm glad that Ndabe brought you and my brother's closer" she
says giving me the eye
"I don't want to lie,you scared me back there. When the nurses
ushered Ndabe and I out,and Dr Myeza was called,I felt my
head spinning" she gives me a small smile
"I want to go home now" she says rubbing her lower back
"You'll be discharged tomorrow morning,they want to keep you
for observation overnight" she nods "aren't you hungry?"
"I'll eat later" she says and I nod. I understand that she's tired
and drained.
"Our friends will see you tomorrow,when we get to your
apartment" she nods again,looks like I'm disturbing her because
her eyes are closed. I stare at her skin,how she still looks cute
even in a hospital gown,a fatigued face and messy hair. I post
the picture I just took on my Instagram story,with Ndabe's face
hidden because Siyamu said we shouldn't post his pictures till
he's about a year old. She heard about someone using a child's
picture to use witchcraft on the mother and I haven't heard the
end of it. The caption is 'Ndabezinhle Uluthando Sangweni
14.06🤍'
"You should go home and get some rest because what's the use
of sleeping uncomfortably while you have to wake up to fetch
us?" she says. I look up and her eyes are still closed
"No I'm-" she cuts me off
"Go home Thando,bath and make sure you eat. Ndabe needs a
strong father" she protests and I nod,as if she could see me. I
kiss her forehead and kiss Ndabe's little nose making him pout
in his sleep. I leave to go home but head to the airport instead
because Bayanda told me they just landed. I park my car
outside and decide to wait for them here because I'm hella
tired. I whip out my phone and look at Ndabe's pictures,smiling
to myself. We really created such a beautiful human being. He
has pale skin and you can't see who's features he took because
he's still so tiny. He is going to look like me though,I can feel it in
my bones. A knock on the window startles me. Bayanda laughs
his ass off while I unlock the door to get out. I bro hug Bayanda
and give Lwandile a side hug,taking her baby girl away from her.
I kiss Lwanele's forehead after uncovering her head. She's just 4
months so she's still sensitive to the air. We get in the car and
drive off while I play her playlist. Bayanda eyes me as I sing
along to each song,with Lwandile
"Bafo you know I got your back in everything,right?" he asks
and I nod while humming to Blue Lights by Jorja Smith,
oblivious to his question
"And if you're gay,I fully support it. I don't want you to feel left
out,it's even pride month next month and-" he blabbers before
I stop him
"Woah,what?" I ask him laughing. I look at him and he looks
dead serious
"Man you're singing along to Jorja Smith,I really think-" he says
and Lwandile laughs
"Yazi sihambe siqoma nje(you know we go around dating)" she
says and now it's my turn to laugh
"Bro this is Siyamu's playlist and I always play it when I miss
her" I justify my actions. She's really gotten me into her type of
music. I can't believe I listen to Jorja Smith,I never even knew
she existed
"Ncooah"-Lwandile
"Yeah it's nothing much" I laugh at my own statement because
I'm lying. It means a lot to me and if anyone were to delete this
playlist,I would literally cry. We get to my house and Snothando
screams when she sees the new baby
"Is this my sister?but dad you said I'm having a brother?" she
asks dramatically with her hands on her hips
"That's your cousin. Uncle Bayanda's child" I explain and she
crosses her hands infront of her chest
"Oh okay. Now where's your baby?" she asks giving me the
most confused face ever. She's so cute when she does this,she
looks like Londi when she was little
"He's still at the hospital with your mom,now be a good girl and
welcome our guests" I say. She hugs her aunt and then her
uncle,who throws her in the air. She giggles really loudly. After
calming down she sits with Lwandile while playing with the
baby. Bayanda goes to the kitchen to greet mom and
Aus'lolo,after that he follows me to my study. I sit on my chair at
the study desk while Bayanda sits on the chair opposite me.
Aus'Lolo walks in with a tray with two glasses of whiskey,on the
rocks
"Ma I thought I told you it's fine if you stay at home,you're sick"
I stand up to carry the tray for her
"Nonsense" she coughs really loudly "you can't pay me while I
sit on a bed" she protests
"You're not well,you need medical assistance. I will be fine
because my mom is here, please ma. I don't mind paying for
your hospital bills too" I say and she nods
"I understand mntanami but I'll come in once a week atleast,if I
don't get better" she says before leaving the room. I sit down
with the tray and Bayanda grabs himself the sweatiest glass. I
show him pictures of Ndabe and we talk about business. He
also mentioned moving back to Durban. I'm glad he's doing
what makes him happy.
84
Siyamu's pov:
"Ayibo you look so handsome fana fana ka mamakhe" I kiss a
grumpy Ndabe all over his face. He just woke up from his
nap,he didn't want to sleep at night. Atleast the sleepless nights
are getting lesser and lesser as he grows. 6 months of no proper
sleep isn't a joke.
"Let's go bathe you,you smell sour boy boy" I say standing up
with him in my arms. I check if it is still wet in our rooms but
luckily it has dried out. I was helping Sandiswa clean while
Ndabe's cot was in the lounge,where he was sleeping. I switch
on the kettle in the kitchen while he pulls on my t-shirt to put in
his mouth. My god,this child. I put him in his cot and proceed to
walk out to grab all the necessities to bathe him. He starts
crying,it's as if someone pinched him.
"Ahy ngeke boy,uyatetema(you're being a cry baby)" I huff
before walking back into the lounge. I take him and put him on
my back,I grab the nearest towel and fasten it,with him on my
back. He eventually stops crying. Sandiswa pops her head
through the passage
"Everything okay?" she asks and I nod
"Uphethwe ukuphapha nje lo(he's just being forward)" I say and
she laughs because Ndabe does this everytime I leave the room.
I take his bathing dish and place it on my bed. We usually sleep
together at night,the cot is just for midday purposes,it also
helps because it's moveable. I pour a drop of the muthi my
mom got for him to not attract bad spirits apparently and pour
a dash of Dettol. I really prefer him to be protected because
Thando has a really dark aura. I might not mind but I can't
expose my son to the kind of things he does. I fetch the kettle
and our the boiling water in his little tub,I dash the boiling
water with cold water so it can be warm. When it's warm
enough I take out the clothes he's going to wear,his nappy and
his baby lotions.
I untie the towel carefully and grab Ndabe. He lays his head on
my shoulder when he's facing me. What?he's sleeping again?
"Must be nice to be you ha?" I ask myself because he is already
drooling all over my shoulder. I walk back to the lounge to put
him in his cot but he cries with his arms held out to me. I take
him once again and his little hand grabs onto my t-shirt tightly. I
melt at the sight,he's going to be such a mama's boy. I decide to
just sit down and be busy with my phone.
'please don't forget that we're coming over today. I know you're
very forgetful since Ndabe was born' Sangweni wami at 11:22
'I haven't forgotten. I don't know when I'll be back from my
commitments but hopefully by 4pm I'll be done' sent at 11:23
'alright baby. Kiss my boy for me,tell him I'll see him later'
received at 11:25
'alright. I love you' sent at 11:25
'I love you more. Be safe sthandwa sami' received at 11:26. I put
my phone down and attempt to put him in his cot, luckily for
me he agrees. He heaves a big sigh as he breathes out. I take
pictures and videos of him sleeping. He looks so cute. My baby
took my caramel skin,my small nose and my perfectly shaped
lips. He has his father's big ears and his father's sexy eyes. He
also took his father's hairiness because he even has hair from
his back to his buttocks. I send the pictures to Thando and
Ndabe's two grandmother's. I notify Sandiswa that I left Ndabe
in the lounge and put the baby monitor on. I pump milk from
my boobs into Ndabe's bottles and put it in the fridge when I'm
done. I take a bath and wear a black body hugging over the
knee strapless dress with black and white Nike dunks. I notify
Sandiswa that I'm going now and kiss Ndabe's forehead,then his
slightly opened lips. He might be very naughty but I love him to
the ends of the world
"I was going to come in and kiss Ndabe but we're already late"
Sandile says starting the car. I laugh at his dramatic ass,things
haven't been the same but what can I say,I'm a nobody right?
It's so hot,I'm sure Jesus is frying us for our sins. We arrive in
Umhlanga at a restaurant called La Divine. We walk in and spot
Phori at the far end,on his laptop. He is with another guy that I
don't quite know. We walk over to him and he stands up to
greet us.
"Bab'Maphorisa" I say giving him a hug. He laughs because
that's what I call him. So a quick rewind,3 months ago I posted a
video on my story singing to Ndabe so he could fall
asleep,which didn't work but atleast big South African artists
reached out to your girl with an immaculate voice. So now I'll
be releasing my first single in a months time. He introduces the
guy as his P.A. He wasn't really welcoming but I don't give a
damn,Maphorisa has already signed me to his record label. The
meeting takes about 3 hours with 4 different types of drinks,no
alcohol for me because I'm still breastfeeding. We leave for the
mall after that, Khadijah has just opened her first salon in South
Africa so I have to make an appearance to attract people. You
know how people think. We got to the salon,with the help of
my bodyguards and Sandile left to go somewhere. Khadijah
welcomes me and one of the hairstylists do my hair. Two hours
later of this girl talking her head off we're finished. She really
talks too much but atleast she's welcoming and her work is
divine. My black butterfly locs look damn hot on me. I pay with
a tip of R500 and call Sandile to come fetch me. He arrives after
five minutes and I say my goodbyes to Khadijah after lots of
pictures,I also promise her to invite her over one of these days
to see my little naughty angel.
Sandile takes me home and I arrive around 5pm. I open the
door and I hear some baby shouts,Ndabe is definitely awake. A
great aroma greets me at the door. I walk in further and find
Snothando carrying Ndabe who is hitting her with a toy car on
the face. She is just smiling at him. God,why isn't Ndabe as
sweet as his sister?
"Hello baby" I say and Snothando's head jots up. Her eyes meet
mine and she stands up,gives Ndabe to Sandiswa and runs over
to hug me. I hug her back
"Hello mom,come,daddy said he wants to talk to you" she says
pulling my hand towards the kitchen. When I walk in Thando is
busy with the pots,in my apron which doesn't fit his masculine
self but he's wearing it anyways because he wants to piss me
off. I hug him from the back,his shoulders slouch at my touch.
He turns around and kisses my nose
"Sthandwa sami. You look so beautiful" he says staring at my
face
"Uright?" I ask blushing and he nods. He switches off the stove
as I let him go "it smells nice in here, Snothando said you
wanted to talk to me?" he nods,takes off the apron and leads
me to my bedroom. He has his phone in his hand
"I was vlogging but let me just switch it off because I want to
talk to you about something really important" he says and I sit
down. I'm really tired. He paces up and down
"So..?" I ask impatiently. He stops to look at me
"Siyamthanda you know I love you, right?" he asks. There we
go,once he calls me by my full name it's bad. I nod "these past
couple of months things haven't been the same for me. Ever
since Ndabe was born you've been so busy with him and
work,that you don't have time for me anymore. I've tried talking
to you about this but you just brushed me off. I love you but I
am can't do this anymore. You're draining me emotionally" he
looks at me with a facial expression that tells me he is conflicted
"So you're breaking up with me?" I ask but it came out more as
a whisper. My heart clenches as I say that. He can't do that
"I just want to be happy and to do that, you'll have to let me go"
I stare at my fingers. What's wrong with me? thinking a girl like
me deserves a happily ever after? "Look at me"he says and I do
"it's not your fault. You're perfect and everything but you're just
not my type of perfect. There's actually this girl I met two
months ago and she's so funny" my chest tightens as I hold back
the tears. Maybe it's the baby fat I still have. I only went back to
gym two months back but we haven't been intimate since I was
pregnant. I never really thought it bothered him,I just thought
that when we're both ready we'll dive right into it"she's tall and
she makes me smile even when I don't want to. She's even met
Snothando but I didn't want to confuse her so she knows her as
my friend. I'm falling for her hard and fast" I give him a faint
smile
"I'm happy for you,don't let me hold you back from finding
someone that's suited for you. Just promise me that you won't
stop being an amazing dad to our kids. Thank you for all the
good memories" my voice breaks as I choke on my own tears.
He nods while pulling me into a hug. I wrap my arms around his
waist,inhaling his scent and crying some more. After 3 whole
years?he leaves me for another girl? Fuck,this hurts. Why do I
have to go through all of this?why can't I just be happy for
once?
85
Siyamu's pov:
"Stop lying to me Thando" I say as I wipe my tears,looking at
him "repeat what you just said"
"I...uhm it's a... it's a prank" he stutters scratching his
head,smiling
"You're lying to me. It's nice playing with my feelings ne?" I ask
and he points behind a stack of books and I see another
phone,well hidden. How come I didn't see it?
"I'm sorry" he pulls my waist closer to his and kisses my
forehead,this whole time I'm looking at him saying nothing
"Baby I thought I told you to not do these pranks on me,don't
you love me anymore? You should stop doing these YouTube
things on me"
"I love you sthandwa sami,ngempela futhi, ngiyaxolisa mama"
he says and I wrap my arms around his neck,a tear drops
"Don't ever do that again,I can't bear the thought" he starts
rubbing my back
"I won't. Pinky promise" he says letting me stay in his embrace.
A while after we let each other go,he wipes my tears before
taking his phone and ending his video. Indeed,it was a prank. I
saw for myself how he never even cooked. The liver of this
guy,after I spent days teaching him how to cook. Sandiswa
cooked and he acted as if he was the one who cooked.
Ugh,Thando is full of games. I shower before wearing pyjamas.
Sandiswa dishes up for everyone and we eat. They leave at
about 7pm since Princess has school tomorrow. I need to stop
breastfeeding now,Ndabe will just have to be strong with the
milk from the store. As if on cue,the siren goes off
"Ahhana boy, don't cry phela. Uyazi umubi kanjani when you
cry?" I wipe his tears while making him suckle his bottle.
"Sandiswa we're going to sleep now, tomorrow I'm working a
full day" I say and she nods smiling. I stand up with Ndabe in my
arms and Sandiswa follows behind with his blanket and the
diapers on the couch. She opens the bed for us and I get in,
Ndabe's hand is in my boobs while he's slowly but surely falling
asleep. Ndabe is making me sleepy because he's also sleepy. A
knock on my bedroom door wakes Ndabe up and he starts
crying again. I've never encountered such a cry baby in my life.
"Come in" I say and Sandiswa walks in
"Sisi,Buhle is here to see you. Should I let her in?" she asks and I
nod. Buhle hasn't slept over at my place since she got married,
apparently married life is treating her good but she's been
scarce lately. I stand up pacing up and down,rubbing Ndabe's
back. He finally calms down. Buhle walks in carrying an
overnight bag. She doesn't say anything but sits on the
bed,looking around as if it's her first time here. She does this
when she's nervous. I put Ndabe down and lay next to
him,acting as if I'm sleeping just so he can relax and sleep. After
a few minutes his breathing gets heavy and I can tell that he's
deep in his sleep. I go over to Buhle and touch her shoulder,her
head turns to me in lightning speed. Okay,weird?
"Hey sis,what's going on?Wandile called and told me you called
her crying" I say hugging her
"Wandile isn't supposed to tell you what happens between her
and I"she snaps while tears fall making my pyjama top wet. I
just let her be. My phone rings and I quickly grab it because it's
going to wake the sleeping dragon. Buhle grabs my hand
looking at me"don't answer" she threatens
"It's your husband,it might be important" I say answering
Sandile's call "heyy"
"Hey,is Buhle there?" he asks breathing heavily
"Yeah,wh-" he cuts the call. Okay,what's going on?
"He's cheating on me" I look at her "he was sleeping with his
hoes in my bed. I think she's dead,best I hit her so bad" I hug
her. She was bound to find out sooner or later
"Where is Spho?" I ask and she stares at her fingers
"With her grandmother,I didn't want her to see this" she points
at her neck and there are bruises,which look fresh. Buhle is a
dark skinned girl so she must've been hit with something really
hard for her to turn purple. On the neck though? I hope it's not
what I think it is
"You can't go back there" I say and she stands up.
"I have to otherwise I'm putting your life and Ndabe's in
danger,he turns into a monster when he's drunk" she says
picking up her over night bag,heading for the door. Oh to be
Ndabe and sleep peacefully through everything. I check if he's
okay before following Buhle out. I find Sandile in the lounge
"Come on baby we can talk about this" he pleads with Buhle
who seems scared to even talk to him
"Sandile please leave" I say folding my arms. He stands up
walking towards me
"Wena,you,damn slut" he's drunk,I can tell from how he's
talking and his voice is bolder "why did you call my wife
here?why do you like meddling in other people's business?"
"Sandile,stop it!" Buhle reprimands in a small voice. What is
going on with my friend? I go to my room where I left Sandiswa
with Ndabe
"Running away from your problems haa?can't handle the
heat?" he says but I continue walking. He can shit himself for all
I care. I enter the room and Sandiswa quickly puts down the
book I'm guessing she took from my book shelf.
"Uhm I'm sorry sisi... I didn't mean to pry in your things" she
says looking down. I must take her clubbing sometime,just so I
could make her loose this good girl skin even if it's just once.
She's been of great help
"It's fine,you can take it. I'm done with it anyways. I just came in
to ask you to stay with Ndabe and lock yourselves in, I'll come
back shortly" she nods and I make my way into my closet. I take
the key from the inside of a pair of sneakers. I unlock my
case,take out my gun and put it on my waist. I close the case
and walk out. He's shouting at her
"You're useless,you dumb bitch!" he shouts at Buhle
"I've never been enough for you Sandile!" she interjects back
"Sandile leave!there's a damn child in this house" I command.
He looks at me,his face oozing anger all over
"Or what?that child isn't even Thando's child. Did you tell
him?or you're hiding just like you always do" he says pretending
to be a scared little girl
"Sandile leave,I'm warning you,one last time" he rolls his eyes
"You won't tell me what to do" he takes big steps towards me
but I don't dare move. He hovers over me since I'm short. I stare
up at him,so damn livid,even my nose looks like an inflated
airballoon.
"I don't argue with small minded people" I say before he grabs
me by my neck, picks me up with one hand and smashes my
head against the wall. I stretch my hands behind my back and
he tightens his hold on my neck. I feel like I can't breathe. I can't
reach my gun,I can't fucken reach it
"Sandile stop,you're killing her!" Buhle shouts. Ndabe's image
flashes through my mind and I pull my gun from my waist and
shoot his leg. I fall to the ground hard on my bottom as he lets
me go. Sandile groans in pain,holding his bleeding thigh. Buhle
on the other hand just has her hands over her mouth,crying. I
rub my neck thinking about how I would've lost my life if I didn't
have that gun with me. Luckily it is always silenced before going
back into the case
"Siyamthanda you have a gun?" Buhle asks gobsmacked by this
situation
"Yes,for safety purposes" I say dismissively and she nods,coming
over to hug me. I hug her tighter
"You won't get away with this,you and your gangster boyfriend.
I'll kill you and your ugly child" Sandile says through gritted
teeth. The door flys open and Thando comes rushing through.
He doesn't say much but heads straight over to Sandile who
looks like he's in pain. He throws a few punches before kicking
him,like the dog he is
"Don't kill him"Buhle exclaims
"He might as well" I say under my breathe. I stand up to stop
Thando
"Did he hurt you?" he asks looking deep in my eyes. I nod my
head no. He gives me an intense gaze
"Okay,he did but only a little" he closes his eyes
"Show me where" he says opening them breathing heavily. My
head hurts like hell because remember that I did it just today?
"He hit my head on the wall and he strangled me but I'm fine" I
huff because I know I'm not
"He's going to bleed to death" Buhle says and I roll my eyes.
What did he do to my best friend?
"I'll drop him infront of a hospital and we're opening a case
against him" Thando says
"But Thando he" he gives her a death stare
"He tried to kill the mother of my children,I won't make things
easy for him. Siyamu I'll call Dr Myeza to come check you out,if
you didn't injure anything. I love you" he says and Sphatho
walks in. He nods at me and I nod back acknowledging the
greeting. They help each other take him out. Buhle leaves with
them to get her wounds checked out. I knock on my bedroom
door after locking the main door and Sandiswa unlocks shortly
after,with the book she was reading before in her other hand
"I'm guessing you called uThando?" she nods looking down
"I'm so sorry,I was just so scared that if bhuti Sandile were to
get in here,he'd hurt Ndabe and" she stutters staring at the
floor
"Relax,thank you for calling him. You really helped me,I
would've lost my mind if he didn't come here" I say and she
leaves the room. I get into the covers on my side of the bed and
stare at my boy. A tear rolls down my cheek. He almost grew up
without a mother,to nurture him,love him and show him how a
woman is treated.
86
Siyamu's pov:
I'm woken up by small hands touching my face. I slowly open
my eyes and I'm met with the sight of Ndabe's face full of flour.
I shoot my eyes open alarmed,even after 4 whole years of
raising this rascal I could never get used to his mischievous ways
"Mama, happy birthday to you" he sings with his squeeky voice.
His birthday was a week ago but he's still singing this song,God
this child!
"Hey baby,here's your breakfast" Thando appears with a tray
with English breakfast and a small vase of lillies. There's also a
glass of juice. He puts it on the sideboard while Princess walks
in with a tray and hands it to me. It has a bowl of porridge,my
favourite,a small vase of sunflowers,always been my personal
favourite ever since I've started dating this man and a spoon
"Thank you guys,what did I do to deserve this" I say pouting. I
quickly grab some tissue and sneeze multiple times before
recovering. I spray some sanitiser on my hands
"You caught the flu to deserve this" Thando says and I laugh
along with princess. She has grown so much,she's 14 years
old,doing grade 8 and she even has her own iPhone now.
"Mamana,upapana iling akabuza" he talks but I can't make
sense of what he's trying to say. He talks a lot but his words are
not clear for us to hear "sandla sakho mama,papana kabuza" I
give my right hand to Thando for him to kiss because I'm
assuming that's what Ndabe wants. I cover my mouth with my
elbow before coughing loudly
"Eat up so you can drink your meds,you still going to work?" I
nod at his question. He doesn't want me working while I'm sick.
A lot has happened these past four years. I released my first
single when Ndabe was 7 months,my second single when
Ndabe was a year and 5 months old. Then I released an album
last year, featuring artists like Dbn Gogo,whom I've gotten close
to and now regard as a close friend,Lizzy the pianist,Kelvin
Momo,one of my favourite artists and many more. It has been a
pleasure working with everyone. I still present at The Music
News with Sanele. I still djay and I now mostly promote my
songs. Fashion Nova has signed me as one of their South
African promoters. Thando bought shares in another hotel in
Cape Town, now he has bought 3 more hotels. He actually has a
degree in Business Management,he is still studying for his
Master's. I graduated when Ndabe was a year old and I'm
thinking of starting a clothing line late this year,since it's still
June. I'm also going back to school part. After the whole Sandile
thing,Sandile got locked up and Buhle just went crazy. She got
admitted 3 times in one month for trying to commit suicide. I
had to take Siphosethu with me,along with Sandile's two other
kids because she was surely going through depression. The 4th
and 5th time she tried to kill herself she was in hospital and
they just transferred her to a rehab center because apparently
she also started using drugs. I stayed with Spho for a year
before her mother came back. It was sad to see her leave
because I had gotten so used to having her around as Ndabe's
older sister. Buhle is okay now and she lives with her daughter
in her new house. Sandile's baby mama fetched her kids the day
Sandile got arrested and I'm thankful. I got Sphatho to send him
to a prison with a lot of gay inmates and they definitely played
with him. He's still suffering wherever he is. Buhle came clean
to me about how Sandile used to force himself on her and beat
her up if she didn't want to. Seeing my best friend go through
that wasn't an easy thing but atleast she's fine now. She is still
not dating anyone,claims she's not ready. I got a new manager
by the name of Tumi the same month Sandile got arrested,I
wasn't going to wor with a person like him. I have officially cut
off all ties with him
"Wow mama,muhle" Ndabe says taking my hands in his.
What?is this what he's been trying to tell me this whole time? I
look up at Thando who seems anxious.
"Oh my God babakhe,is this why I have all this breakfast?" I ask
and he scratches his head
"Partly. He takes the tray away from me and puts it on the
pedestal near the bed. He takes hands in his and Ndabe pulls
my left hand from him,his dad chuckles at the gesture
"Sthandwa sami seminyaka,it's been roughly 7 years that we've
been together. We've had our ups and downs,we've broken
up,you've slapped me" he says looking at me,his handsome face
not aging an inch at 32. I laugh at the memory " we've had
kids,laughed together,cried together and met each others
parents. You've made me nothing but happy ever since I met
you, I've made you cry so many times but you never gave up on
me"
"Wena papana wahlupha" Ndabe adds lying on my chest and I
let him be. Did I not say he's going to be a mama's boy?
"Ssh Ndabe,ubaba uyakhuluma" Snothando reprimands,Ndabe
just sticks his tongue out and his sister rolls her eyes. I smile
"As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted,I love you
maTshabalala,for a lot of things in particular but I'll save all of
this for our wedding vows. Will you make me the happiest man
that has ever walked on earth by accepting my proposal and
marrying me?well technically you can't say no because the ring
is already on your finger" I glance up at him and nod countless
times,not knowing what to say
"Yes,yes,yes I'll marry you" I say giving him a one armed hug
because Ndabe is dozing off on my chest. I stare at the ring on
my finger,it's the one he proposed with the first time and the
second time,yes he tried again three years ago but I just
couldn't get married while my best friend wasn't there.
Anyways guess who is married now?Wandile is married and she
married my boss from The Music News, remember that
masculine lesbian?yes,her. Two years back Thando and I went
to Italy. That same year,the girls and I went to Australia. Last
year Thando and I went to Paris and Qatar,just to watch his
favourite teams play but it turned into baecations.
"I was so nervous" he says while I take time to admire this ring
on my hand. I've never really gotten time to admire it. It has
diamonds all around it and a rhinestone crystal in the
middle,which is square shaped. I love it.
"Come here baby,thank you for breakfast" I signal for
Snothando to come sit next to me. I pull her in for a hug and
kiss her forehead
"I love you guys" I say and Snothando smiles at me
"I'm so lucky" Thando points out
"What?I'm the lucky one here" I say and he looks down smiling
"are you blushing?" I tease
"What?no! A man doesn't blush" he defends and I laugh
"It's not a crime if I make you happy hawu" I roll my eyes while
saying that. I hear soft snores and I know that the little champ is
sleeping again. I eat the other breakfast,feeding these two
mouths while at it. It's pancakes,an omelette,bacon and
avocado on toast. My favourite. I leave some for Ndabe,when
he wakes up he'll surely be hungry. I call my brother to tell him
to expect a letter any time soon because I know how media will
be. They will probably assume and write fake stories before I
get to tell my family. My brother was sulking throughout the
whole call,guys I'm about to turn 30 but this man doesn't want
me to get married. I call Buhle and she screams so much that I
have to remove the phone from my ear for a while. The next
person I tell is Siyanda,then my mom who ululated throughout
the whole call. I tell my older sister and my younger sister.
Thando's baby died early last year due to an insufficient
number of cells in her brain. This thing was so complicated that
the child died,may her soul rest in peace. I call Bayanda to let
him know. He now lives in Durban,Lwandile and him broke up
because of their different goals in life. They weren't on the
same page but Lwanele lives with Lwandile's mother and
Bayanda gets to visit anytime he wants. The day carries on with
me sneezing and coughing,my chest is not cooperating. Tumi
came to see me and update me on upcoming events and we
also talked about how he will hire a wedding planner for me. I
forgot to mention that he's gay so he has drama for days. You're
surely wondering what happened to Kuhle?I made him a cripple
and now he's wheelchair bound. He got what he deserved. I
wouldn't trade my life right now for anything. I'm successful in
everything. I have my dream job,my lovely friends and
family,and I'm about to get married to my bestfriend.
87
Snothando Sangweni's pov:
"I think that we should keep this our little secret till after the
lobola negotiations. Is that okay then?" mom asks dad who is
playing games on mom's phone. This is all they ever talk about
these days,wedding plans.
"Yeah you're probably right, social media will probably tell our
whole family before we decide to" dad responds. I stand up
taking my phone with
"Goodnight guys,it's school for me tomorrow" I say and mom
opens her arms for a hug. I hug her and she kisses my forehead.
Dad also kisses my forehead and carries on playing his game. I
get to my room and wear pyjamas. I get a text from my real
mom,it's so weird that she's texting me
'you should bond with me because your dad is going to fall in
love with his new family,that you're not part of' received at
20:43. I look at the text multiple times before switching off my
phone to sleep,but I keep thinking about that text
I'm woken up from my beauty sleep by the sound of my ringing
alarm. I switch it off after rubbing the sleep off my eyes. I
shower and lotion when I'm done. I wear my tracksuits since it's
going to be a breezy day. I pair it with black and white Nike
dunks. I tie my braids into a ponytail and take a few snaps. I
walk out to the kitchen and it smells amazing. I find mom
wearing an apron ontop of her pyjamas frying some fish fingers
"Morning" I say sitting on a barstool. She turns around smiling
"Hey baby,your lunch is on the counter" she says carrying on
with what she's doing. I love how she makes my lunch when she
is here. Dad comes down carrying Ndabe
"Mamanaaa" Ndabe shouts already stretching his hands out for
her. She takes him and kisses him all over his face. Dad kisses
my cheek after greeting me. Mom puts Ndabe on the barstool
next to mine
"Manje sixabene yini MaMshengu?" Dad asks mom holding her
by the waist from behind,as she is flipping the fish fingers
"Cha Thando stop it,the kids are here" she warns giggling
because dad is tickling her. I just focus on my phone, scrolling
through Instagram. It's good to see dad happy but I just can't
bear the thought of him abandoning me. Mom serves us our
breakfast and dad takes Ndabe and I to school. Well Ndabe goes
to crèche but that's his school anyways. I walk to my class
because the bell has already rung. I greet everyone as I walk to
my desk
"Hey,I've missed you so much" Lisa says excitedly as she hugs
me. I smile at her
"It's only been one weekend" I say and she giggles. The day
goes by until it's time for break. I walk over to our usual spot
under a tree near the field.
"Hey guys" I say waving and they all greet back. We're a squad
of four. It's Lisa,Amanda,Mihle and I.
"You know my dad bought my mom a car,she was so happy. I'm
jealous sana" Amanda says making us laugh. She's always been
like this
"My dad bought me all the food I was craving for this
weekend,you should have seen mom's face when she saw all
that junk" Lisa says,this child
"You're going to die of junk food Lisakhanya"I say laughing
"What did you do for the weekend Sno?" Mihle asks
"Well we went to one of dad's restaurants on Saturday and on
Sunday mom took us to church" I say shrugging because there's
nothing much to tell
"Is that all? because you're usually really talkative" Lisa asks. I
sigh and tell them about how my parents got engaged and
about the message
"Your mother is right,soon this woman will be taking over your
family. She surely fed your dad love potion" Mihle says. I don't
like how she's talking about Siyamu,I mean mom. But what if
it's all true?
"Yeah you'll be left out soon enough. Why do you think you
even lived with your grandmother in the first place?she is
probably pretending just to trap your father. Surely Ndabe
didn't make him marry her so now she's using you" Amanda
says. Ever since Ndabe was born,I haven't been getting that
much attention either. Maybe they're right
"But how will I get rid of her!?my dad looks so inlove with her" I
say feeling a raging fire inside of me. She's going to take away
my dad from me?
"Is there anything she's allergic to?" Mihle asks and I nod. She's
allergic to mint
"This isn't right guys" Lisa finally speaks
"It's the right thing to do Snothando,buy her whatever she's
allergic to so that she can be ugly and then your dad won't love
her anymore" Amanda says. This makes a lot of sense right now.
Lisa gives me a dissaproving look but luckily I'm saved by the
bell. Break is over and we hug goodbye because after school I'm
quick to leave. The day goes by slowly and finally,the last bell of
the day rings. My driver fetches me,that means dad is busy. We
get home and I find the parents sitting on the couch. So this is
why dad didn't fetch me today? Dad is massaging his woman's
feet
"Sanibona" I greet with an attitude and dad frowns at me,mom
looks at me with concern or confusion. I can't really make it out
"Hey,you okay?" she asks me
"Why wouldn't I be?" I respond and to say they are shocked is
an understatement
"Ayibo Snothando,you're forgetting who you're talking to!this is
your mother" dad shouts at me. He is livid. I walk away to the
kitchen. I make a banana smoothie,which mom loves so much. I
fill up two glasses and take it to them
"I'm sorry,I had a bad day" I say and mom gives me a reassuring
smile. Dad is still livid. Mom rushes to drink her smoothie while
dad takes his sweet time. I watch mom as she frowns
"Snothando is there mint in here?" she asks looking at me with
a face full of worry
"Yeah,I know it's really goo-" she cuts me off
"Snothando you know I'm allergic to mint" she whispers
"No no baby,where are your pills?" Dad asks her already
standing up
"I'm so sorry" I apologize but she deserves this. Nobody can
steal my dad away from me!
"I'm fine sthandwa sami" she whispers again
"Where are your pills Siyamthanda?" He asks her again
"They're at home" she answers with her breath hitched. Okay
what's happening?I didn't expect her to react this way. I
thought it was just a little swelling that will go down in a few
hours?
"Snothando I said go fetch my keys!" My dad shouts at
me,startling me. Tears run down mom's face as she struggles to
breath and I run down the passage to my dad's room. I'm met
with a portrait of mom and dad laughing. What was I
thinking?but I have to be selfish sometimes. I grab the keys
from his drawer and run off to him. I give the big guy,who is
dad's bodyguard,the car keys and they leave. They left me all
alone. Did I make things worse for myself?now everything is
going to be about her and I'm going to be in the shadows once
again. What have I done?
88
Siyamu's pov:
It's been a week since that incident and all I can say,is that I am
grateful to be alive. I react to mint immediately when I come
into contact with it. It swells up my throat causing my airways to
be blocked. I don't know what's happening with Snothando
because she specifically knows that I'm allergic. I tried to think
of it as a small mistake,but what if it's bigger than it seems? The
letter has already been sent to my family from Ndo's family
asking for my hand in marriage
"You did great up there girllll!" Tumi screams after my gig. I
blush at the compliment
"Thanks boo,let's go mingle with the fans" I take her hand and
we talk to a couple of people,also taking pictures backstage. A
coloured looking woman makes her way to me with a young girl
"DJ Siyamu,hi" the woman says and I greet back smiling "I'm
Tasha and this is my daughter,she's very fond of you" she says
and the girl is awfully quiet.
"Hey babe,what's your name?" I ask touching her shoulder
"Amanda" she smiles
"Let's take a picture guys!" We all scoot together and Tumi takes
a photograph with the girls phone. We talk for a while with
Amanda telling me how she also wants to help Feed The Nation.
It's an organisation that Thando and I joint two years ago for
donations to children's homes. "Alright bye,don't forget to tag
me" she gives me a thumbs up and we're already on our way
out. I get a notification that 20k has just entered my account. I
smile to myself as we enter the car. We're in Cape Town once
again,it's becoming a norm. We enter this fancy restaurant that
Tumi obviously picked out.
"Girl, we're finally going to meet your man. Gosh I've bee
waiting all day for this" he fans himself. I laugh
"You better not play there wena Tumelo,my man is not your
playground" I warn him rolling me eyes and he laughs at me,
really?
"Bitch why wouldn't he want all of this?" he exclaims running
his hands down his body making me chuckle.
"Good evening ladies,what would you like to order?" the waiter
who welcomed us in says.
"Finally!thank you,thank you" Tumi stands up to kiss his cheek.
The poor guy looks stunned to the core " finally, someone calls
me a lady" mind you she's wearing a sexy red silk dress.
"Tell your boss to give you a raise!we are tipping you with a
thousand Rand's"
"Uhm...thank you?" he looks confused. I giggle
"I'm sorry bhuti,my friend here is really crazy. We'll have two
margarita's and a platter of buffalo wings,two plates of well
done steak and another plate of medium rare steak,oh and a
glass of Windhoek beer" this whole time he's writing on his
notepad
"Will that be all?" he asks with a smile. I nod smiling back. What
if I just made his whole day? No ,I'm overthinking it. He walks
away.
"Mmh mmh mhh,damn it just got hot in here" Tumi says
fanning himself. I feel hot air being blown on my neck. His
cologne sells him away before he can even speak. He kisses my
shoulder and I close my eyes
"Hey baby" he says kissing my cheek and I blush. He sits down
on the vacant chair
"Tumi!" "T-man" they both say at the same time,fistbumping.
They're just cool like that.
"Have you guys already ordered?" he asks and I nod. "Okay,
then you guys tell me about your day"
"So Siyamu sold out the whole venue,there were literally
people standing outside the fence just to see her" Tumi blabs.
"Phela umuntu wami uyi hit,akekho ongazi" Thando says
running his hands on my exposed thighs under the table. Our
drinks arrive,Tumi and I take pictures for the gram. I shift
upwards when he touches my kitty through my thong.
"So Tumi,uhm.." I clear my throat,Thando seems to be enjoying
what he's doing "have you contacted the manufacturers for a
meeting?"
"Yes Siyamu I've got it under control. Stop talking about work
now, we're chilling here. Anyways isn't it so weird that there
were no reports on a internationally recognised person entering
the country but we saw him,not once but twice?and he just
came to see you?hayi girl there's something you use man" Tumi
can't shut the hole in his face,yho!
"Who's that?" Thando asks removing his hands where they
were
"Let's take pictures" I suggest giving Tumi my phone. Thando
looks at me. Tumi takes pictures of us but Thando isn't smiling
in all of these. I make him look at me
"Please smile for me" I say pouting. He shows his teeth but he
isn't exactly smiling "please" I give his lips a peck. This whole
time Tumi is snapping pictures. He finally gives in and smiles at
the camera. I take pictures of them and Thando takes pictures
of us. Our meals finally arrive
"Haa Siyamthanda so much food,for 3 people? is there
something you want to tell me?" I roll my eyes at Thando's
question
"Uyagula wena,I'm never getting pregnant again" he smirks
"We'll see about that" he says and Tumi laughs
"Tumi who was that you were talking about a minute ago?
before someone rudely interrupted you" Thando asks. This isn't
good
"Oh that?uhm it was that hot,sex on two legs,motherfucking
soccer player" he says daydreaming. I cut into my steak and
feed Thando who just went mute
"It's really nothing" I say continuing with my meal
"Siyamthanda did I not tell you that he is dangerous?" Thando
asks with a stern voice
"You did" I answer. Submissive wife mode turned on
"Did you listen to me?" he asks again. He's making me so horny
"I didn't meet up with him but he followed me around,he was-"
"You're not answering my question and you know that I don't
like repeating myself" he cuts me off. Ouch
3
"Yho" Tumi comments
"No I didn't listen to you" I sulk
"What was the reason for you to not tell me?" he asks again but
I keep quiet. This one thinks he's intimidating me,he must go do
that to his agemates. I'm not his age and he should respect me
"You're quiet now but I'm sure you weren't when you were
talking to that self-centred bitch" I open my mouth wide in
shock. Haa Thando is embarrassing me now
"Haa you don't even kno-"
"Answer my question" he cuts me off again. How this guy still
sounds calm after everything amazes me! Tumi is just staring in
amusement
"Please can we talk about this later?you're making Tumi
uncomfortable" I say lying because I really don't want to talk
about this infront of him
"No,I'm not uncomfortable" he says with his eyeballs boring
into our souls
"You do know that you're making your punishment harsher and
harsher by not answering my questions" Ndo says and instead
of being scared,I find it hella sexy
"Hay hay let's leave" Tumi says and I stick my tongue out to him
"You'll be sleeping at my hotel" he says directed to me while
calling the waiter "Tumi I'm sorry but you're going to have to go
back alone"
"Oh I don't mind,I've already found someone to go to the hotel
with" he responds winking at some guy who's smiling at him.
This guy, already! The waiter comes back with doggy bags and
each of us utilise those. A really pretty girl,with a petite body
and a blonde weave makes her way to our table. She bends
over the table,next to my Ndo,with a napkin and a pen
"I'd let you walk out but I wouldn't want my soulmate leaving
me now,would I?" she says smiling slyly at him. He looks at her
with a smirk. What game is he playing at? "Please do leave your
contact details for me"
"Let me do it for you" I smile at the girl taking her pen and
napkin. I write a message for her with a smiley face. Perfect. I
give it back to her
"Go fuck yourself dumb bitch" she reads to herself and Tumi
bursts out in laughter along with Ndo "and who are you!?"
"His wife,now shoo shoo get out of here" I dismiss her like a
dog. She clicks her tongue,walking away with her cheap ass
makeup. She looks pretty tho,it's just the attitude
"That" he pecks me on the lips "is" peck "why" peck "I " peck
"love you" by the end of his sentence I'm a blushing mess. We
leave and Tumi leaves with the other guy he didn't want to
introduce. I throw myself on his bed as soon as I'm inside. I
check the time and it's 03am,yeah ne.
"No clothes on my bed" he says and I laugh. My boyfriend
sometimes gets a little too crazy. I take off my gloves,which I've
been using to hide my ring. Along with my dress and my bra. I'm
left in a thong. He strips off his t-shirt and jeans. When he's left
in his briefs he gets into the bed and pats the space next to him.
I jump into my side of the bed. He wraps his arms around me
and he lays my head on his chest
"Khuluma phela nkosazana" he says making me laugh
"How am I supposed to be serious?mawenza njena?" I ask
squinting my eyes
"Angeke ngiphike nomuntu ohlanyayo,ozovele ahleke nje
kungonakele lutho (I won't argue with a crazy person,who just
laughs out of the blue)" I gasp hitting his chest playfully
"Well after my gig in Pittsburgh,as usual I went backstage to
greet the owner and take pictures with people. I saw him
wearing shades and a big hat and coat. I thought I was being
paranoid. Before my gig today,he pulled me to his table and
asked me how his boy is. He told me I gave him a beautiful
name and he would've loved to name him too. He gave me
money,in which I rejected,he said that he's sorry for not being a
present father in my child's life. I told him that Ndabe isn't his
so he should leave me alone and I left"
"You went to Pittsburgh 2 weeks ago" he responds. Is that all he
heard?
"I'm sorry for not telling you"
"It's okay because he didn't hurt you but next time please do,as
soon as possible. I honestly need to be aware of these things
baby,you're a mother now. You can't go missing or be mentally
unwell because of him. I want to protect you" he says squeezing
me. He preps my forehead with kisses
"Punishment?" I ask looking at him curiously
"Oh baby,that's still to come. Wait till we get home" he says
smirking and I sulk. Thando has the worst punishments ever.
89
Siyamu's pov:
"Well we can't really leave Durban now,our whole family is
here. Our friends" I tell him
"Lucky me then,I bought a piece of land 7 if not 8 years ago,I
wanted to start building but then I met you. I really wanted you
to design the house. If you don't like it then I can buy another
place?" I look at him in total amazement. He's really sweet
"We'll design it together because I might just give you one more
baby to add to your collection" I giggle while he grins.
"I like the sound of that. Let's go dish up,I'm hungry" he says
taking my hand in his. I look at the ring on my finger. The lobola
negotiations happened last month,this month we're supposed
to have umbondo,umembeso and umabo. It works in our favour
because there's an extra long weekend. The negotiations went
welll but I don't know how much they paid, apparently it's a lot
because my dear brother was being hard on them. He drags me
to the kitchen and as we come closer,an odd smell makes itself
known. The smell of burnt food. I rush towards the
kitchen,leaving Ndo behind. Why is my kitchen this far from the
lounge again?
I enter the kitchen and a breeze of fresh smoke welcomes me.
Snothando is sitting on the barstool busy with her phone. I run
towards the stove and try turning it off. It's a flat plate stove so
it's maximum limit is 9 and it was on 9. I try turning it off again
but it's too hot. Thando wets the cloth and takes away the pot
from the stove. I panick but miss girl is still busy on her phone,
despite everything happening around her. Thando takes a
wooden spoon and switches off the main switch for the stove. I
open the door so the kitchen would smell better and the air
would evacuate the smell of burnt food. I cough due to how
much it is suffocating me
"Snothando" Thando calls out. She looks up from her phone.
Girl is even wearing a mask
"Snothando ngikhuluma nawe" he says again calmly. It's bad for
the girll now
"Baba I'm listening nje" she responds. Thando folds his arms
"Give me that phone,ngathi iyona ekwenza uhlanye (seems like
it's what is making you crazy)" he stretches out his hand but
Snothando doesn't budge. This isn't the Snothando I know at
all, mara maybe iAdo. Adolescence makes kids like this
"I said give me the damn phone child!" he says banging the
island table. Not even shouting once but we both flinched. She
gives him the phone
"A pot was burning right infront of you but you were busy with
your phone!? Do you want all of us to die?or do you want to die
because clearly you sitting in the kitchen while something is
burning means you want to die!" okay now he is shouting.
Snothando takes off her mask since the smoke is a tad bit better
"Baba it's her pot,why do I have to interfere?so you can say I
tried to kill her just like the last time?" she responds scrunching
her face
"You made a mistake and we forgave you Snothando!I will not
repeat myself again. This behaviour has to stop. She is your
mother" he shouts at her
"I didn't want you to die dad. I wanted them to die!the devil
and her son! She's trying to take you away from me dad and
she's not who you think she is. She's cheating on you dad and I
have proof! I hate her and her little son. All you care about is
her and her stupid Ndabe,not me. Is it because I don't have a
mother?" She says a mouthful. To say I'm shocked is
underestimating my reaction. There's nothing I haven't done for
Snothando and this is what I get in return? I'm the devil?yho
"But Sno-" I try to say but she cuts me off
"Kahle wena Satan" she raises her hand up to stop me from
talking. Haa! I clap my hands once,still in shock
"That's it,I've had enough of this" Thando says taking off his
belt. Snothando jumps off the barstool but Thando grabs her
arm just in time. He throws his belt across her buttocks and she
starts crying. I'll leave them for a while because never have I
ever been disrespected by a child like this in my life. He
continues hitting her "who did you learn this from hee?" "Mina
ngakufundisa inhlonipho (I taught you respect)" another slap
from the belt across her back and she wails out "uzogcina(this
will be your last time)"
"Thando stop!" I shout and he looks at me,letting her go while
she wipes her tears.
"Baby can we talk for a sec?" I ask him. I can't believe I'm doing
this. He stands infront of me
"About what?" he asks. Snothando sniffs
"Maybe we should put the wedding on hold. If your daughter
isn't ready then we can't force her into anything " I take off the
ring and put it in his hand "I just want us to be happy"
"Siyamthanda can you hear yourself? Could you just put
yourself first for once in your life? I waited 6 damn years!6 years
to marry you and you weren't ready. We're finally getting
married and you want to bail out because of Snothando?so
what?if it takes 15 years for her to accept us,then we have to
wait?she's the child here. Ngeke sizwe ngaye. What happens
when Snothando finally accepts and Ndabe says that he doesn't
want us to get married?what then?we wait another 6 years on
top of the 15?musa ukungidakelwa wena,buyisela leyo ring.
Ungitshele musuqedile ukuhlanya. (Stop messing with me, put
that ring back on. Tell me when you're done being crazy)" and
he walks away. Okay,good point. What was I even thinking? I
put my ring back on as per his orders.
1
I follow him leaving Snothando sniffing in the kitchen. I walk
into my room,where Ndabe was sleeping because he never
sleeps in his room. He's still sleeping,yho,his ability to sleep
through anything scares me yazi. Thando has his back on me,his
hands in his pockets and his head hanging low. I walk to him
and wrap my arms around his waist. He doesn't react to my
touch like he normally does. He's maddd.
"Are you still hungry?I could try and make you some food again
since it got burnt" I try to talk to him
"Yeah but don't worry we'll order in" he says before heaving a
big sigh. I take his phone from his pocket and order us some
food. Ndabe wakes up and we both sit on the bed,on either side
of him, adoring our creation
"Mama,papa" he stretches out his hands for Thando. He takes
him and he lays his head on him
"Hello boy boy" he says kissing his forehead "I wonder where I
went wrong with Snothando. She's just like Londi manje"
"No baby you're wrong,you did your best raising her and
teaching her respect. Now what she chooses to do,is totally up
to her. One thing a baby doesn't take from their parents is their
heart. You choose whether you want to be like them or not. She
had a choice and I know she chose you. Somebody probably
said something to her about stepmother's being bad and now
she's reacting. Don't be hard on yourself,you're a great parent. I
love you with all my heart,okay?" I brush his cheek
"Alavu too mama" Ndabe responds and we laugh. I hear the
doorbell ring
"I didn't think they'd be that fast. Come with Ndabe so he can
also eat" I say standing up to walk out. The kitchen door is open
wide. The sight before my eyes makes me want to puke all the
food I ate in the morning. I don't think I can ever get used to
seeing this sexy demon here!
"What's going on here?" Thando's bold voice booms
throughout the room. Why can't we just have a peaceful
life?yho ahy.
90
Snothando Sangweni's pov:
"What's going on here?" my dad asks with his bold voice. I've
never been so scared to do something in my life but I'm going
to go ahead with it. Maybe it's the start of a new life,a better
one perhaps?but Siyamu seems like she loves me. She's my
mom after all,to hell with this. I've got to start taking risks
"I'm taking my child because you and your peasant of a
girlfriend are abusing her" my real mom grabs my hand roughly
and I yelp "I will not born this baby and you abuse it,you hear
me?" my ass is on fire and I'm in a lot of physical pain from my
beating but what did this woman just say?she said she born
me?
"What?" dad asks with his eyebrow raised in question
"I born this child,I grew this child up" she replies confidently.
She knows English mos lo,manje what's her problem? Siyamu
bursts out in laughter,taking her son with her,whever she is
going. Dad chuckles. He left my phone on the table and that is
how I contacted my mom to fetch me. She's the only option left
now
"Dad I'm leaving, I'm sorry" I say ignoring the pain from where
this woman is holding me
"No I'm sorry,for not being a good enough dad for you. Give me
back that phone because I bought it. I will not pay your school
fees anymore because you're choosing your mother, right?after
14 years of her wandering around with men?You'll come back
when you're back to your senses but for now,go" he takes my
phone from my hold and stands behind the door, probably
waiting for us to walk out. Ndabe walks in rubbing his eyes. I
stare at him as he stares at me back
"Pincess (how he pronounces princess) alavyu" he says waving
goodbye. He usually does this when I leave for school. I get so
emotional that I feel tears well up in my eyes but I can't dwell
on that because mom pulls me out the door. We pass the
delivery man on the way to her car,I assume. My short legs can't
keep up with her model ass long legs as she pulls me. She opens
the front door and gets in the passenger seat. I sit at the
backseat because there's a man in the drivers seat. I greet him
but he just gives me a wink as a response,giving my spine
shivers. He surely doesn't look South African, probably from
Nigeria or Zimbabwe.
The car ride feels long and awkward because there seems to be
tension between the two lovers in the front. The guy hasn't
even turned the volume up so we could atleast listen to the
radio. I don't even have my phone,to think I'm carrying my
earphones only. Just great! We finally arrive to an area that
looks really posh. There are a lot of double storey and triple
storey houses even. It's not like I'm not used to this,my dad
literally owns a house bigger than these. We enter a large
yard,full of different types of cars. We're riding in a BMW X5
right now. I can spot a Porsche, a Mercedes A45 AMG,a
Mercedes GLC, a gusheshe,a large white delivery van and an
Audi R8. He has good taste,if all these cars are his.
Mom jumps out of the car as soon as it comes to a halt. The guy
walks out too,following her. This is going to be one weird
journey. I follow them into the double storey house. I make my
way down the passage. I turn to my right and find a lounge. I
see a flat screen TV and portraits of the man with two boys and
another woman,who is wearing a ring by the way. I sit down
and switch on the TV,watching Paw Patrol, remembering how
much Ndabe loves it. He's such a great kid, naughty,but he's
wonderful. He's also very affectionate for a four year old boy.
"There's food in the fridge,eat. I'm coming back" mom says with
her shirt unbuttoned. She looks mad,or rather tired. I nod and
she leaves. I don't trust anything in this house but I stroll into
every room till I find the kitchen. It's full,like a whole family lives
here. I take some leftover pizza,putting it in the microwave.
Siyamu loves pizza so much, she'd literally eat it everyday. She
isn't as bad as they make her to be. I hate being away from my
dad,I feel so lonely but it's my fault anyways.
Beep,beep,beep,the microwave disturbs my thoughts. I pour
myself some mango juice, remembering the time mom was
pregnant with Ndabe and all she'd eat was mango's and drank
mango juice. Ugh! Why does everything remind me of them!?
I sit down and eat. I notice a WiFi router so I browse the TV
options for YouTube. Luckily it doesn't ask for a password. A
video automatically plasters itself on the screen from the
recommended section. 'Kinky black🍑' it read and I saw a large
penis on the screen. The man rubbed himself up and down
while the girl lay there in heels with her legs wide open. Oh my
God,my poor innocent brain! I immediately switched the TV off.
What have I just seen?I mean we've learnt about this stuff at
school but never have I seen it being done. I finish eating and
just sit there,bored out of my mind. I'm going to go crazy. A
yawn escapes my mouth. I look at the wall clock. It's been two
hours since we've gotten here and it's now dark outside.
"Come,let me show you your room little brat" this man says
walking in with only his underwear. I gulp because anything can
happen, it doesn't look like my mom really cares for me. I follow
him to a room painted in white,no side lamps,no liveliness to
the room whatsoever. He leaves and I sit on the edge of the
bed,looking around. It's not a big room but it feels so empty.
Mom enters the room
"I don't have pyjamas" I finally speak up after working up the
courage. She rolls her eyes at me, really?
"Just unbutton your jean and then sleep,stop being such a brat"
she says " by the way I came to tell you to close your ears tight
when you sleep" she winks walking away. She's only in her shirt.
No underwear on,what is up with these people!? I unbutton my
Jean and strip it off. I take off my sports bra and I'm left in my
baggy t-shirt. I get under the covers and try to get some sleep.
"Ahhh hit it there baby!" I hear mom scream when I'm about to
fall asleep
"You're so nice and warm!" a man groans.
"Yewena Marcus! I leave you for a second and you're groaning
on top of another woman?" I hear another woman shout. I jolt
out of bed and wear my jean and sports bra.
"Hawu baby,don't leave,we could have a threesome" I hear the
man say clearly now. Maybe they are in the hallway now. The
door of this room opens and mom grabs me roughly.
"She even brought her brat here,mmh these ghetto people and
being baby making machines" the other woman speaks
disgusted. It's not even the woman from the portraits
"She's not mine" my mom defends. Is she that embarrassed of
me? She pulls me and we walk out into the freezing winter
night. I shiver due to the cold. I never thought of bringing a
jacket because Siyamu always lets me lend hers.
"Please borrow me your phone" I say and she looks at me up
and down before giving it to me. I call the only person I know
who cares about me to the moon and back
"Hello" he says. I look up to prevent myself from crying
"Dad please come fetch me" my voice breaks. If only I had been
a good child and listened to my mom and my dad. If I hadn't
listened to people who've never experienced the love Siyamu
has given me,I wouldn't be here
"I'm on my way" he says "don't cry baby,I'll be right there" he
reassures me and I sniff
"Thanks,bye" I say and give her back her phone. We are now
seated outside this large gate if the house we were in.
"So glad you're finally going back" she hisses at me "I was tired
of carrying you around like a 5 year old. Go back to your fake
little family" she says and it's my turn now to roll my eyes. A car
pulls up infront of us. I panick but she stands up and gets
inside,waving at me. She's leaving me alone?what a hoe
I suffer from the cold for a while before a familiar car makes its
way to me. I stand up and my dad comes out of the car. He hugs
me kissing my forehead. Siyamu pulls me away from him,just so
she can put me in her arms. If this is what a fake family is,then I
want to be here forever. I cry in my mother's arms, apologizing
for all I've done to her but she keeps on kissing my forehead
repeatedly. I love her with my whole heart and I deeply regret
all I've done to her. She's only ever been a great mom to me
91
Siyamu's pov:
"Siyamthanda,baby sis, I don't think I've said this enough. I'm so
proud of you. I'm proud of the woman you have become. I'm
sure if our dad was here,he'd be proud of you too. I know this is
cheesy coming from me,but,I can see the way you smile when
you talk about him. You're happy little sis,and I'm happy you're
happy. If he hurts you,do not,I repeat,do not hesitate to call me
or our sister. Just because you're getting married doesn't mean
we're not siblings anymore,okay?I love you baby girl" Sbusiso
says kissing my forehead. I smile at my brother's sweet
gestures, particularly because he's too overprotective at times.
"I love you too big bro" I hook my arm around his,looking
forward at the church that stood before us. There's no turning
back now. All the things Thando and I have been through are
left behind me. Buhle fixes my silver mermaid long sleeved
wedding dress,with a design of small pearls,and white riffled
feathers on the lining of my dress. It hugs my body,showing
every curve I have. It's also an open back dress. My Prada strap
heels fitting in perfectly,with the small crystals on the back of
the 6 inch heel. My natural hair is tied into a neat high ponytail,
shielded by my veil. My makeup is on fleek,a full face beat. My
nails a grey and white design. My bouquet is strictly white
roses. Ndabe comes to me in his tiny black suit,white shirt and
black bowtie. He paired it with Gucci sneakers. His high fade
riffled,but still looks neat. He opens his arms for a hug and I
crouch down to his level,it was hard by the way,I hug him back. I
whisper in his ear,telling him what he should do. Buhle gives
him a sign written 'here comes the bride'. Spho holds the basket
full of white rose petals,I blow a kiss to her and she smiles at
me,waving. She's wearing a white tutu dress with white
sandals. They walk in,Buhle behind them. My brother and I
follow shortly after. All eyes are on us,or rather me,when we
enter. Soft piano music is playing as we stroll in. I can't even see
properly because of this veil but I can see his groomsmen and
my bridesmaids. He stood out with his cream white Tuxedo,his
neatly shaved beard and his fresh brush cut
We came to a halt infront of him and our priest. "Who gives this
woman over to this man?" Pastor Mdluli asks
"I do" my brother says " take care of her,and if she gets too
much for you,bring her back to us" he hands my hand over to
my husband. Husband,that sounds so magnificent. We join
hands as the priest proceeds with the programme
"Before anything else,can we please close our eyes and pray" he
starts praying along with everyone else. I also pray,this time
though,I'm not asking God for anything,but I'm thanking him for
all he has gifted me with. The love I've shared for over 6 years.
Nothing would have been possible without him. Pastor Mdluli
goes on to speak about scriptures in the Bible that support
marriage and talk about building a family. Ahh this man,my feet
hurt,what was I thinking wearing 6 inch heels when I knew that
I'll be standing for over an hour. Luckily they bring me a chair,for
the rest of the 20 minutes
"If anyone is against this union,they should speak now or
forever hold their peace" I stand and the chair is taken away. I
hold my bae's hands. He doesn't look too good though. There is
complete silence. "Okay,son, please uncover your bride. We
want to see her" women in the church ululate and young girls
scream. I let out a heavy breath that I was holding in,I seriously
thought someone will say they aren't with this marriage. My
veil slowly rises as Thando uncovers my face. My eyes catch his
when my face is in full view. He looks at me with uncertainty in
his eyes. I hear some whistles in the crowd
"Thandolwethu and Siyamthanda, have you come here freely
and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in
marriage?" the priest asks us
"Yes" we say simultaneously
"Will you honor each other as man and wife for the rest of your
lives?" he asks again
"Yes we will"
"Will you accept children lovingly from God and bring them up
according to the law of Christ and his Church?"
"Yes we will" we chant again.
"Okay,now if you will repeat after me"
"I, Thandolwethu Sangweni, take you, Siyamthanda Tshabalala,
to be my lawfully wedded wife. I promise to be true to you in
good times and in bad, in sickness and in health,in poverty and
in wealth. I will love you and honour you all the days of my life.
Till death do us apart" he says after the priest,sliding that heavy
diamond thing on my finger.
"I, Siyamthanda Tshabalala,take you, Thandolwethu
Sangweni,to be my lawfully wedded husband. I promise to be
true to you in good times and in bad,in sickness and in health,in
poverty and in wealth. I will love you and honour you all the
days of my life. Till death do us apart" I say after the
priest,sliding his ring on his finger. Ululations are heard
throughout the church
"Babe are you sure about this?" he whispers in my ear,making
sure to maintain the eye contact. Hayibo this man!? someone
tell me he is joking
"Ofcourse I'm sure,what do you mean?" I'm sure my face looks
hella confused, because I am. Where is this suddenly coming
from?
"Siyamthanda I'm a bad man" he whispers again. I use my left
hand to rub his cheek
"Baby you're not a bad man,you just do bad things sometimes
and it comes with a reason"
"Ugh,you're definitely the one for me" he says closing his eyes.
His head falls forward and he sighs. I wipe a stray tear that
rolled it's way down his cheek. I adjust his face to look at me
"You're going to be a great husband,trust me" I say and he takes
out a handkerchief from his pocket and wipes his teary eyes. I
hear a couple of "ncoah's". Thapelo makes his way to us and
talks him into smiling and looking good
The priest then blesses each ring after our little breakdown
moment
"In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, take
and wear this ring as a sign of my love and faithfulness." we
both say after the priest
"I pronounce you husband and wife, Mr Sangweni you may now
kiss your bride" he looks at me smiling and I give him a shy
smile
"Kiss her bro" Thapelo shouts and everyone laughs. My
bridesmaids are Snothando,Wandile,Khadijah and Dbn Gogo.
My maid of honour is Buhle, of course. They are all wearing
peach sequin dresses with strap heels. Thando's groomsmen
are Lunga,Zakhe,Lindelani and Qiniso. Thapelo is his best man.
The groomsmen are all wearing black and white tuxedos.
"You look so beautiful mkami,if I had the chance to choose
again, I'd still choose you" he says making me blush.
"You look so handsome myeni wami,if another woman dare
tries to steal you away from you,I won't hesitate pulling the
trigger" I wink at him and he laughs throwing his head back
"Stop stalling" Buhle shouts and I roll my eyes. In an instant
Thando pulls me closer to him by my waist. There are cheers in
the church. That's because it's most of the young people. He
smashes his lips on mine and I close my eyes, savouring the
moment. Our tongues battle for dominance as he pulls me
closer and closer
"Ayibo yimani phela!(stop)" Lunga shouts and we break the kiss
laughing. I can't believe that we got lost in our own world
infront of our parents. His dad is here,just imagine. Ntokozo is
also here,Fikile and him got divorced and he apologized for
being "selfish" and wanting me all to himself. Things are fine
between us now but the relationship will never be the same
again. We proceed to signing the marriage certificate,with
Buhle and Thapelo as the witnesses.
"I love you Mr Sangweni" I say giving him a peck
"I love you more Mrs Sangweni" he says and groans "that
sounds so right" I giggle at his silliness. We walk out of the
church holding hands,trying to do a step,I said trying not doing.
We're now going to take pictures and then go to the venue.
92
Thandolwethu's pov:
We step onto the red carpet leading into the venue,her song
already making itself known to our ears. Some people may say
it's just an amapiano beat,but she describes it as the way her
heart beats for me. It's called Uthandolwami featuring Dbn
Gogo and DJ Maphorisa. My groomsmen and her bridesmaids
enter the venue dancing. We soon follow shortly after them.
We had practiced our dance and I know we are going to nail it.
We make our way inside dancing and they start screaming. I
love the decor. It's peach and silver but there are white drapings
hanging throughout the hall. I chose silver and she chose peach.
We decided to book the whole place because it has rooms. We
knew our friends would have a hard time leaving since they love
getting drunk ke.
The rectangular tables are on the sides of the hall while in the
middle is a red carpet,leading to the centre where the floor is
white,written 'Mr and Mrs Sangweni' in gold. Gosh,Tumi and
the wedding planner really did a great job. Then at the front
there are two King and Queen seats,for myself and my wife of
course with a glass table infront of the chairs. There are two
rectangular tables below that area,which are for the
groomsmen and bridesmaids. There is a stand next to my
chair,with a three tier cake. I can't exactly see the design from
here but I'll let you know when I do.
Siyamu dances infront of me,shaking what her mama gave her
and the crowd cheers more. I try to pull her close but she slips
away laughing at my misery. We proceed to sit down when the
song ends. The top tier of the cake is designed with music
emojis,a girl with headphones kissing a guy and I guess that is
Siyamu and I,at work. The middle tier is designed with the same
guy popping champagne where there are four other gents,the
girl with the headphones and four more girls. I guess those are
our friends. The last and bottom tier is designed with the guy
holding a baby boy and the girl is pregnant,while there are two
elderly women rejoicing next to them. This is honestly
beautiful,by the way,I made sure they make the whole cake a
chocolate delight.
Buhle comes to our table with two champagne glasses and
some champagne in a bucket filled with ice. I smile at her. Today
I was strictly told that I don't lift a finger, unless I'm carrying my
wife
"Thanks friend" Siyamu says. The photographer is taking
pictures of us while the speeches are made. I browse through
Instagram and Siyamu posted a picture Thapelo took of us at
the altar,when I was crying. I repost it and switch off my phone.
I look over at her. She looks so beautiful with her natural hair.
God,I know I've done bad things, a lot of them, I don't deserve
such a woman. I can't believe I bagged her,I mean I trust myself
but Siyamu is a different breed
"I think food should start being served while the speeches are
made. It's not like they will stand up to go do it themselves"
Siyamu says to Ayanda,her cousin,which brings me out of my
thoughts. She nods and walks towards the kitchen
"Ngibingelele wonke umuntu okhona phakathi kwethu
namhlanje. I'm sure most of you know me,and if you don't I'm
Thapelo. I'll be speaking on behalf of the groom's friends.
Thando and I have been bestfriends for more than 15 years and
never have I ever thought he will get married. Mina shame I
commend boss lady ne. She tamed a beast. Thando was a
player and nobody thought he would ever settle down. When
he started dating boss lady,you could tell that even his mindset
was changing,for the better. For that boss lady,I just want to
thank you. You didn't change who he is but you changed his
rotten mindset of treating women like clothes. I've seen you
guys at your lowest and highest points so all I can say is that,
don't give up on each other. You are great friends but even
better parents. I'm proud of you both,you guys have matured
quite well. To more love,more music and more babies. (I greet
everyone gathered here with us today)" he raises his glass.
Everyone cheers for him and we laugh. Thapelo really loves
being an uncle ne.
Buhle delivers our plates to us "don't worry,I dished up for you"
she reassures her friend and walks away. I kiss her cheek and
she looks at me,smiling at my gesture
"Stop looking at me like that,you're making me shy" I admit and
she laughs. Really?I'm being honest with her and she laughs at
me
"You look cute when you're blushing" she says and my eyes
surely popped open
"Indoda ayikho cute baby(a man isn't cute)" I say shaking my
head. She rolls her eyes playfully at my words. Siyajola by Busta
929 is playing while she feeds me a spoon of rice and beef
curry. I know we're rich and famous but... we're still black. Our
families still believe that this is the type of food you'll eat at a
wedding. I pop the champagne cork and pour in each of our
glasses,before putting the bottle back in its bucket. Siyamu eats
her plate and a quarter of mine and when I asked her what I'll
eat,she said I could eat her. I felt speechless at that moment
"Ladies and gentlemen,we would like..,drum roll please" Tumi
says through the microphone. Most people do the drum roll on
the tables they are seated at "me to do the honours of the
champagnery popping" he says and we laugh. He probably
made this word up
"Now I would like one person at each table to pop open their
bottles of champagne when we reach zero" he says and I look at
Thando,he also looks at me. Our champagne bottle is finished.
We both laugh at the same time
"Tumi" Siyamu shouts and he looks at her. I pick up the empty
champagne bottle, swinging it in the air and everyone laughs. I
see Snothando taking a video of me and I stick out my
tongue,making a funny face,along with my wife. She laughs in
return. I wonder where Ndabe is because he was with Siyamu's
mom and he's not there anymore. Ayanda brings us an
unopened champagne bottle and takes the empty one. All the
people who are going to pop the champagne stand up. Siyamu
and I stand up together. She holds the champagne bottle up
"Pop mabhodlela,pop champagne! Let's get this party started!"
Tumi shouts and I hear rows of popping corks. Siyamu pops our
and a little bit of champagne makes her hands wet. I grab the
wipes from the table and help her wipe her hands. She smiles at
me. I look over at Snothando and they're pouring her some
champagne
"No babakhe,it's non-alcoholic champagne" Siyamu says
shaking her head
1
"Mxm,if I find out you're lying I'm going to divorce you" I say
and she laughs
"Already?" she asks and continues laughing "it's not like you can
live without me and stuff"
"Couple of the day, please come to the centre and have your
first,well in your case, second dance as Mr and Mrs Sangweni"
Tumi says when everyone is settled down. You for me by Johnny
Gill starts playing as we take centre stage. I hold her waist with
my hand,her hand is wrapping my neck. Our free hands are
holding each other. Even the way her hand fits in mine feels so
damn right. We slow dance as the song starts. She ends up
laying her head on my chest as one of her hands is on my back
and the other is on my chest. My arms are now wrapped
around her shoulders
"You look beautiful" I tell her
"You've said that a million times for the past hour,but thank
you" she says snuggling closer as the only thing moving is our
feet. The rhythm is slow and passionate,just like this song.
"We were once strangers,all by ourselves. Living living alone
with no one else,but here you are and it's so so sweet. God must
have done this,made you for me. Take my hand,hold me close.
Don't let go. You for me. Me for you. Together, forever. We'll
make one" the songs says touching my heart because it's true. I
feel blessed to have her by my side. I love her,a lot. The song
ends and she raised her head up when people start cheering.
Don't tell me she was falling asleep,haa.
"Okay, y'all made me wish I wasn't single but we not there, now
all the couple's can go on the dance floor because this next
song is just for you " Tumi says. It takes a moment before the
song starts playing because people are still making their way up
here. A lot of people greet us and congratulate us first. Ubani
obeyazi by Blaq Diamond starts playing
"Ubani obeyazi weh darli wami,ukuthi uthandolwethu luzokhula
luze lube ngaka" the songs starts and we do a crazy dance we
just made up. We exchange partners halfway through and I
dance with Buhle,while Siyamu is dancing with Bayanda. We
exchange again and I dance with Snothando,Siyamu is dancing
with Sphatho. They're really great friends,I'm not jealous
"They said couples so who's your partner here wena?" I ask
Snothando who giggles as I spin her around
"You and mom are nje" she says and I roll my eyes playfully. I let
her go when the song ends. People make their way off stage but
everyone is standing wherever they are because we'll be
performing apparently. A surprise game that we're supposed to
play. Siyamu and I are given mic's and the song starts. Skhanda
love by K.O and Nandi Madida.
"Gangster love,gangster. We've got that gangster love,nothing
can come between us" Siyamu sings Nandi's part and damn she
sounds even better. Everyone cheers
"Woah nah nah Nah" I also sing and people start laughing. I
don't care,this is my wedding
"Unga worry uphethe mina" she continues singing along with
the song,trying her best not to laugh
"Woah nah nah nana" I add again to K.O's part
"Let me hold you down,baby let me hold you down" my voice
screeches through the microphone and they laugh. Atleast my
bae is jamming to the song so it doesn't matter what they say. I
also laugh at myself though
"Uyi sotsha Lami" we both sing "let me show you how
makushuba ngizofa nawe weh sotsha Lami"
"Ngiyazifela nge sponono sami aningiyekeleni. Sweetie
ngikunika konke okungokwami en die hele dinge. Ubatshele
ngendlela lesigebhengu esiyilwele lento esinayo. Haybo labo
bhari bebethembeni?ngihlale ngisendleleni and ngiyazi ukuthi
uhlale uzibuza mhlampe nginama substitute,trust issues nama
excuse. My love for you is untouchable. Ngiyafunga nasi struu.
Weh mntan'omuntu kdala wehla unyuka nami ulokhe
ugereza,uphanda upress,uphusha nami I'm blessed. Cause you
the one I guess iphupho lami selifezekile. Asenze
isivumelwano,for better or worse akukho okuzosihlukanisa.
Khohlwa all these ludacris rumours,abantu ba busy
bayakhuluma sisi. Never let these bunch of lunatics ruin this
truly issh I wanna spend my future with" I rap K.O's verse
without stuttering and everyone finally cheers for me. Finally! I
know that this verse is low-key true. We laugh as the song
ends,going back to our seats
"For the last thing on the programme. The bride and groom will
cut into their cake and then a special present from their friends
will be shown to everyone" Tumi says while Lindelani makes his
way to us with a knife. We look at each other and she shrugs,
indicating she also knows nothing of our special present. We
stand up once again to cut the cake. She takes the knife from
Lindelani,thanking him,I hold her hand that is on top of the
knife. We both cut into the top tier and look up for the camera
man to capture our moment. I let go of her hand and she
continues cutting a piece. She puts it onto a plate that Khadijah
gave her.
"Chocolate cake" she smiles excitedly. I smile back at her. She
feeds me a moderate portion of the slice of cake. I moan in
delight. I feed her the rest of the cake and she tells me she
wants more which isn't a surprise. We dish up two more plates
for my mother and her mother. It's a tradition. We hand it to my
mom,my dad is sitting there on his phone. She thanks us and
we go on to give her mom,who is chilling with Ndabe. She also
thanks us but Ndabe insists on being carried by his mother. He
cries when anyone else tries to take him so I open my arms for
him. He throws himself in them and he lays his head on my
shoulder. I'm carrying him with one hand while the other is
holding my wife's. She can't carry Ndabe with those heels she's
wearing. Plus,she's tired hawu,my wife mustn't carry heavy
things,she carried this big head for 10 months.
When we're seated,Ndabe jumps off my lap to go to his mother.
Traitor. He sits on his mother's lap and snuggles into my wife's
breasts. That used to be my place 5 years ago. Yeah ne. The
door is closed and a huge screen is projected onto the wall at
the back,where everyone can see.
"This video is memories of the couple and their friends and
families. This was compiled by their friends and their daughter.
She told me to apologize for stealing your phones while y'all
were sleeping by the way. Enjoy" Tumi says and everyone
laughs. Say you won't let go by James Arthur starts playing as
the first picture makes itself visible. It's the first picture we ever
took together,at the club,the night we met. The second picture
is when it was her surprise birthday party. The third is when we
had started dating,we were at some restaurant in Durban
South. The fourth slide is a video of us singing in the car,you
could hear the sound of the video. We were singing to close
friends by Lil Baby. Then there's pictures of us with Snothando
and then pictures of us when Siyamu was pregnant,videos and
pictures when Ndabe was just born. Then there's recent
pictures of us,during the lobola negotiations. During her
graduation and umabo, umembeso and umbondo. There's a
video of us in our bedroom,which we took in pyjamas
"Anyways I'm so happy that I'm going to marry my best friend" I
say clasping my hands together. She looks at me smiling
"I can't wait to see you with a grey beard" she giggles and I
laugh
"Men like me don't get old" I say and she laughs
"Oh so big headed men don't get old?" she asks and she left me
speechless,which seemed funny to her. The video ends and
pictures of us sleeping display on the screen. Snothando
probably took these but they are beautiful. The way I'm holding
her so close to me. The last picture is Siyamu in a suit and
Snothando in her school uniform. Then there's Ndabe and I in
pyjamas with messy hair. I'm carrying Ndabe who is acting like
superman. My mom took these. I wipe Siyamu's tear,along with
Ndabe who is holding both her cheeks. He pecks his mom on
the lips and I peck her cheek. I wouldn't have changed this day
for anything or anyone. It was perfect.
93
Siyamu's pov:
It's been a beautiful 8 months of being married to the love of
my life,my best friend. We never really went on our honeymoon
because we wanted to spend time with our kids. A lot was done
before the white wedding and we were also busy with work. We
just decided to take them to Marassi in Egypt for the December
holidays. Everyone enjoyed their time there
You know my birthday is in November right?the month before
we went to Egypt,Thando bought me a pregnancy test as a
present. He was suspecting that I was pregnant because of how
much I ate apparently. It came out negative,now that I think of
it,I haven't been taking my shots since we've gotten married but
still there's nothing. Maybe,I won't ever fall pregnant again,I
touch my visible scar. I'm such a failure. The eyebags under my
eyes are evidence of my exhaustion. I came back at 3am from a
gig and now it's 6:37 am. I always help Sandiswa with Ndabe
and making lunch in the morning. Since Aus'Lolo died due to
illness,she's all we have.
I wear my gown and head downstairs. I'm so worried about
Thando. Yesterday was his grandmother's birthday. He woke
up,left a sticky note saying he'll be back later but he hasn't
called or texted till now. I've called his brothers and Thapelo but
none of them know where he is,partly why Bayanda is here.
He's never not slept at home without letting me know. We
finally moved into the house that was being built. It's a two
storey house.
"Ndabe hurry up,you're going to be late" I say to Ndabe who is
taking his own sweet time with finishing his breakfast
"Almost done mommy" he says with a mouthful and I give him
a disapproving look. He knows not to speak with a full mouth
"Mom please sign my homework for me" Snothando asks.
Bayanda appears in the kitchen rubbing his eyes
"Morning everyone" he says yawning
"Hey uncle" these two reply
"You slept good?" I asked him taking Snothando's book, signing
it where necessary
"How can I when we can't find this man?" he whispers back and
I sigh. I give Snothando her book back after signing it.
"I just don't understand why he-" I'm cut off by mumbling
"No Thapelo,leave me alone,I can walk by myself" Thando
stumbles into the kitchen being pushed by Thapelo. The kids
turn their attention to him
"Dad" Ndabe voices out. Thando stumbles towards Ndabe and
pulls him in for a hug
"Boy boy" he says rubbing his back. Ndabe just looks confused
by this awkward gesture
"Found him passed out outside some bar in his car. Apparently
he told the guards to not follow him" Thapelo says. Thando
looks up to look at me. He stumbles his way to me. The smell of
whiskey mixed with nicotine lingers in his breath.
"You smoke now?" the words come out as a whisper
"Not that it matters but yes,I do" he says in my face,making sure
I smell the horrible mixture of these two things. He knows how
much I hate the smell of nicotine
"Please go take a bath" I beg him,taking a step back
"Stop being such a self-centred bitch!" he shouts throwing his
hands in the air
"Thando!" Bayanda reprimands
"Sandiswa please take Ndabe with you upstairs,Snothando go
get ready for school" I say turning my back from him
"You're out of hand" Thapelo tells him
"What?it's always her way right?it's always about her" he
shouts grabbing my arm roughly. He pulls me towards him by
my wrist. I crash into his hard chest
"Dad leave mom alone!" Snothando screams
"Thando you're hurting me" I whisper trying to yank my wrist
away from him,but his grip is just getting tighter. The next thing
Thapelo throws his fist at Thando and he stumbles falling
backwards
"So you're going to hit me over a girl?" he mumbles on the floor
"she's useless,she can't even do one simple thing"
"Please don't say it" I whisper more to myself than him
"Mom are you okay?" Snothando asks besides me. I nod in
response
"Come on,just look at her,she's weak. She already wants to cry"
he tries crawling towards me but Bayanda kicks him down
"Thando shut the fuck up!" Thapelo shouts. I've never seen him
so mad,yes he gets mad but he never gets this mad
"Thapelo calm down" I say softly and he turns to look at me. I
should've kept quiet.
"I must calm down!?while Thando is acting like this?have you
ever seen me lay my hands on my wife?we don't do that. I don't
condone this behaviour, whether he's my best friend or not" he
shouts at me
"Yeah tell her,this infertile bitch" Thando slurrs on the floor,his
lip busted. My heart stops beating for a while. Is that how he
really feels about me?I knew he wanted another child but to
think that I'm infertile. I know what you're thinking,but,Ndabe
was a miracle child.
"Let me fucken leave before I lose my mind!" Thapelo shouts
already walking out.
"I'm coming back,be ready by the time I'm back" I tell
Snothando leaving her with Bayanda who is trying to help
Thando up. I go upstairs to our room and change into leggings
and a t-shirt. He's just drunk,he said that because he was drunk.
But don't drunk people tell the truth?I'm overthinking
everything now. I take my phone and the car keys to my Range
Rover. I have this feeling inside,that just wants to burst. It wants
me to scream and cry but I can't cry. I have kids to take care of.
What will they do if I break down and cry infront of them?
"You guys got everything you'll need?" I ask Snothando and
Ndabe when I get downstairs
"I'm not going to school"Snothando says playing with her hands
"Me too" Ndabe shouts behind her
"Why?" I question fanning myself because I don't want tears to
start rolling down
"How will I focus when you're not okay?after all that just
happened?"
"Baby,I'm fine. I promise I'll write a sick note for you tomorrow
and we can spend the day together" I reassure her with a small
smile. I drop them off at school and come back to sleep. Today
is actually my day off but I can't look Snothando in the eye after
what she witnessed. I go upstairs to our room and he's not
there,meaning he is sleeping in the guest room. I throw myself
on our bed. His smell slowly fading away on the pillow because
of his absence. A tear rolls down my cheek. Why do I have to be
so weak?why can't I just carry a baby?one more. I'm tired of
hurting so much,for the children I never got to meet.
Someone shakes me,waking me up. I open my eyes slowly and
his eyes are staring back at me
"What?" I ask him before noticing that he just came out of the
shower,with a towel wrapped around his lower body. Snap out
of it,you're mad! He looks damn ugly, dehydrated and
exhausted all in one.
"Uh your phone has been ringing nonstop so I thought it was
like an alarm or something?" he says in almost a question like
manner. His facial expression, confused
"Thank you" I say and sit up. I didn't even sleep inside the
covers. I take my phone from the nightstand
"Are you okay?" he asks staring at me with concern. I just want
to bath because I feel so sticky
"So now you expect me to be okay after-" he interrupts me
"No like you're bleeding" he says holding my lower back,about
to pick me up. I stare down at my thighs and our white linen
which is now blood stained. Please don't tell me I'm having
another miscarriage. How will I carry on after this one?
"Leave me alone! I'm fine" I snap at him and he removes me
from his hold
"Siyamthanda you can't still be mad over that petty argument.
We're talking about your health here!" he shouts at me. I move
uncomfortably off the bed and take the bedding off the
mattress
"Petty argument?" I chuckle bitterly " oh yeah it's a petty
argument. Well this infertile bitch doesn't want to talk to you!"
"Siyamthanda please,let's go to the doctor atleast" he begs
"No mina ngisaku petty argument" I say throwing the clothes I
was wearing on the floor. The blood dried out on my thighs. It's
really not that much and there aren't any clots so could it really
be a miscarriage? "You call swearing infront of our children a
petty argument. You're so unbelievable"
"I didn't know what was happening around me,I was drunk!" he
justifies
"No you were being reckless. Sleeping in the car outside a
bar?leaving the guards behind? I might as well do the same so I
could die and leave you all alone with our kids" I shout at him
while putting the dirty clothes in the washing basket
"Don't say stuff like that" he shouts back following me into the
bathroom. I walk into the shower and open the tap. The water
runs on my skin,washing away all the dirt. I scrub myself and
during my shower I concluded that I'm on my periods. I finish
and walk out with a towel wrapped around my body. I don't
even know why he's shouting at me when he's the one who's
wrong!
I find him seated on our bed,that has new linen,which I'm
assuming Sandiswa changed and my clothes are not where I left
them. I lotion and wear black sweat pants with a beige crop top.
I ended up taking it off because it shows my scar. I wear a white
Nike t-shirt instead. I fasten my weave into a messy bun and
wear some sleepers. I put on a tampon and walk out of the
closet to get my phone. He's still seated on the neatly made bed
"Asambe" he says and I ignore him,taking my phone. Without
warning he scoops me up over his shoulder
"No,Thando I'm not going anywhere" I try to wiggle myself out
of his hold but his grip is stronger "put me down
Thandolwethu" I hit his back but he carries on walking. By the
time we're at the garage I've given up. He puts me into the
passenger seat and locks the car while walking away. Mxm. He
comes back with his phone and wallet. He jumps into the
drivers seat and I look away,facing the opposite direction. I sniff
as the tears come rolling down. I don't want to know the truth.
He passed by Chicken Licken drive thru and orders wings. The
smell fills the car and he passes by Macdonald's to get us
burgers. I look at him as he bites into his burger. I'm hungry but
I'm also mad! Fuck this,I take my burger and savour the taste it
brings. I wipe the tears that have now dried my cheeks. The car
ride is silent. In no time we're at the doctor's office
We are called inside when it's our turn. We sit down opposite
my doctor
"Dr Myeza" he says greeting her and she smiles back
"Mr and Mrs Sangweni,how can I help you today?" she asks.
Thando explains whatever bullshit he explains. I wasn't listening
because I'm on my phone. I don't want to be here
"Right uhm,it's time for your results" she says to me after taking
tests and whatever. I'm not interested "congratulations
guys,mommy is 7 weeks pregnant with twins" what?Thando
looks at me with an emotionless face
"So the bleeding?" I ask
"It's called spotting. It's normal in early stages of pregnancy"
she responds "your pregnancy will be a high risk pregnancy
though because of your condition-" I don't listen to the rest
because I know what will happen. I'll lose my babies in the end
"Is it safe to do an abortion now?" I ask without thinking twice
"What!?" Thando shouts standing up and startling me "you're
being so selfish" he pushes the chair he was sitting on so hard
that it falls over and he storms out, banging the door in the
process. My heart clenches at the thought of his words. I'm not
selfish but I'm the one who will have to look at my babies being
taken away from me cause they didn't make it. He's not the one
who has to go through that. I can't risk going through a
miscarriage again. Worse, this time I know that my children
exist.
94
Thandolwethu's pov:
I think today is by far the worst day of my married life. I have
never been so mad. This is our biggest fight yet. We haven't
even talked about what happened in the morning and now
there's this abortion thing?I just don't understand why she even
had to consider that. The car ride has been quiet because if she
talks I'll strangle her unintentionally and she knows it. I park
infront of Snothando's school and call her guards,telling them
I'm fetching her today. I see her behind her guards hugging a
boy. What!?the nerve of this child. Siyamthanda smiles at the
little scene. Snothando opens the door to the backseat and
greets us. Her mother responds
"You're hugging boys infront of your parents now?" I ask her
and she giggles. I turn to look back at her "is there something
funny I said?"
"Dad she's a girl,a masculine girl" she responds
"Okay" now that I think of it,she does look cute mara why is she
walking like a gent?ahy this new generation
"Mom are you okay?" she asks Siyamu
"Yeah baby,I'm fine" I see Snothando shake her head in the
mirror. The whole way to Ndabe's school nobody said a word to
each other. I'm sure Snothando also felt the tension. I park in
the parking space for parents. She makes her way out and I
follow her. The security lets us in after searching us. We make
our way to his class and he jumps up and down as soon as he
sees us
"Mom! Dad!" he screams and grabs his bag,hugs his teacher
and runs towards us. He hugs both of us and I pick him up. He
wraps his arm around me and I give Siyamu his bag. Her smile
fades away,what's wrong now? We walk back to the car and I
strap a seatbelt around Ndabe's little body. We're not taking
chances now. I start the car
"Mom you're so quiet today" Ndabe says from the back.
Siyamthanda has been looking out the window the whole time
"Yeah love I'm just tired" she responds
"I promise I'll make you tea when we get home" he responds
and she smiles at him
"Thank you Ndabe. You're such a gentleman" she says blowing
him a kiss and he giggles. It's only now that I notice how tired
she looks,the dark bags under her eyes are evidence. I park my
car at my old house,where my mom now lives. The kids rush
out of the car
"Thando I'm not dressed appropriately to see my in-laws" she
says and this really wasn't planned so it's really fine
"It's fine, we're here for our mom and nobody else. Whoever's
got a problem can fuck themselves" I say stepping out of the car
and she does the same. I lock it and we go inside. My mom is
listening to Ndabe and Snothando rant about their day at
school
"My favourite couple. To what do I owe this visit?" she asks
smiling at us. I kiss her cheek and Siyamu hugs her
"Kids go watch a movie in the theatre" I say and they run off
through the passage
"Is everything fine?" mom asks
"Nothing is fine mom, please talk to Siyamthanda. She wants to
abort my children" I say and Siyamu looks at me with her
eyebrows furrowed. She can't talk now?
2
"Have you talked to her and found out why she wants to do
that?" she asks and I shake my head "then I can't help you
because even you don't know the reason behind this. You guys
should sit down and talk it out. Yes, sometimes you'll need help
but this is between the two of you. This is your marriage,you
guys know each other best" she looks at Siyamthanda and rubs
her arm "congratulations mommy and I hope you'll make the
best choice. You'll be okay"
"Thank you ma" she says giving her a small smile
"Kids come on, we're going home!" I shout walking out. My
mom can't be on her side too. I start the car and the sound of
Anthony Hamilton's song Pray for me fills the whole car. It takes
them a while to come out,they are accompanied by my mother
who is waving goodbye. I drive out as soon as they are in the
car
"Thando stop driving recklessly,there are kids in the car "
Siyamu speaks
"The same ones you would kill if you could?" I ask her as I slow
down, noticing that the speed of the car is really insane
"Thando please. Not infront of the children" she begs. I click my
tongue. We get home and I make my way upstairs. I bang the
door behind me. I just want to hit something so hard! I lay in
bed and close my eyes.
I wake up and rub my eyes,the room is dark and the curtains are
still open which means she hasn't been here. She must be cold
wherever she is. I take her jacket and descend the stairs. I find
the kids in the lounge with Sandiswa and they tell me she's in
the kitchen. I find her packing the dishes. I give her the jacket
and she thanks me. After that we look at each other for a long
time
"Tomorrow we're going to my grandmother's grave,be ready by
5am" I say and she puts down the cloth
"Thando you can't just make decisions alone. I had plans for
tomorrow. I work" she says folding her arms
"Well you'll cancel those plans because I'm going with you
whether you like it or not"
"So you decide for me now?I won't be controlled by you. I am
independent and you seem to forget that!" she shouts
"Why!?why do you want to do it!?" I shout back the question
that's been burning my throat. She looks taken aback by the
question
"Oh Thando stop it. You don't know how it feels to have a
miscarriage! You don't know the pain of carrying a baby and the
baby being taken away from you. I'm going to have to go
through that!" she shouts banging the kitchen island
"Oh yeah?maybe I don't know what it feels like but I also felt
the pain when we lost our children damnit! They were my seed
too,don't you get that?you've neglected how I felt about the
miscarriage because you're too caught up in your own web. You
never cared about how I felt! I also wanted to hold them in my
arms and hear them say dad for the first time!" I shout standing
right infront of her face
"Well you don't have a scar to remind you that you're a failure!
So don't act like you know how it feels to wake up every
morning and see a reminder of what could've been!" she says. I
step back
"You know what?I'm going for a drive" I say attempting to walk
away but she holds my hand. I turn to look at her
"You can't go,it's getting dark outside and it's dangerous" she
says staring back at my eyes
"Oh so now you care?leave me alone" I warn and she lets go. I
walk to the garage and when I get to the lounge,the three pairs
of eyes stare at me. Nobody says a word. I proceed to go to the
garage and meet Sphatho on the way there,isn't he supposed to
be in jail?
"I want to be alone" I tell him and he raises his hands as a sign
of surrender. He knows when I'm mad,he's my right hand man
after all. When I get to the garage,I attempt to turn back
because I don't have keys to any of my cars. I'm trying to think
of a way to get to our bedroom without passing the kitchen
"Baba" Ndabe calls in a small voice. I look at him and he's got
tears in his eyes "umama" he cries. I start to panick. What
happened? "umama,ushonile umama baba" what?I take his
hand and run back into the house. He leads me to the staircase
leading upstairs and Snothando is crying,holding a lifeless
Siyamu in her hands,at the bottom of the stairs.She's on the tile
floor while Sandiswa is calling someone. My phone rings and it's
Sandiswa
"Thank God you're here" she says
"What happened?" I rush to my wife who is at the bottom of
the stairs
"I think she was hyperventilating while walking up the stairs and
she fell backwards. I don't know what happened to her" she
says panicking. Sphatho appears and I take Siyamu away from
Snothando
"Dad it's your fault!" Snothando shouts as I pick up Siyamu
bridal style "you shouldn't have said all of those things to her!"
she runs up the stairs and I hear her bedroom door slamming a
while after. I rush to Sphatho's car outside and lay her on my
thighs,in the backseat while Sphatho starts the car. I see Ndabe
trying to run after the car but Sandiswa catches him just in time.
I don't even know what's going on,there's no time to think. She
can't be dead. I put my fingers over the sides of her neck,to
check for a pulse but I don't feel anything. Everything just went
blank,she can't leave me like that
"Thando get out of the damn car!" Sphatho shouts. When did
we get here?I get out of the car and pull her out,still holding her
the way I was holding her before. We run into the hospital
"Help, somebody, help, please my wife needs help!" I shout and
a nurse comes running to us along with another one with a bed.
I put her on the bed and I follow to wherever the nurse is
wheeling her to
"What happened?" one of them asks
"She fell down the stairs but she's not breathing and she's
pregnant" one of them checks her pulse
"She has a faint pulse. Sir, please go wait in the waiting room" a
third nurse says
"No no,my wife needs me. She can't be alone" I plead with her
but it falls on deaf ears
"Sir she will be fine. I promise you she is in the best hands.
Please wait in the waiting room and her doctor will come and
update you" she says walking away,down the passage.
"Let's go man" Sphatho says patting my back. She can't leave
me,she's alive but she can't leave me just like that. How am I
going to live without her?I'll probably kill myself if she dies. My
mom taught me how to pray but I never really did,we go to
church almost two Sunday's in a month but I wonder why I
don't ever pray. If Siyamu was here right now she'd want me to
pray,so I get on my knees,no mater who is watching and clasp
my hands together. I'm asking God to save her for our
children,they need her more than I do.
95
Thandolwethu's pov:
"We ran some tests and the results show that she fainted due
to stress,lack of sleep and an irregular diet. She's pregnant so
she needs all the strength she can get. She needs to stop
stressing so much because her blood pressure was too high.
Make sure she gets some sleep and eats regularly. We don't
want to lose her or the baby" Dr Myeza,the male,says to me
"Babies" I correct him and he chuckles
"You just had to man,but I'm serious. This pregnancy could be
the death of her" he says and I sigh. I feel like I'm carrying the
world on my shoulders. This is all my fault, Snothando's words,
ringing in my head. If I hadn't raised my voice at her,if I hadn't
left,she wouldn't have been so stressed but atleast she's alive
"Thanks man,I'll see you later" I say fist bumping him because a
nurse is already calling for him. I draw in a deep breath before
walking into her room. My eyes fall onto her glistening brown
skin. Oh she's aging gracefully,some already have wrinkles at 30.
I walk in further and sit besides the bed,on the stool
provided. A tube which is helping her with breathing,I guess,is
connected across her face through her nostrils. She looks tired
even though she's fast asleep. Am I really that ignorant these
days? I stand up to lay besides her warm body,the bed is big
enough. Her left arm has a cast because she broke her bone
when she fell. She also slightly hit her head on the tiles so we're
expecting temporary memory loss or slight headaches if she's
lucky. I wrap my arm around her waist and lay on my side,my
head on her shoulder
"Sthandwa se nhliziyo yami. I'm so sorry,I blame myself for
everything that has happened. This is supposed to be your best
pregnancy because your first pregnancy wasn't that enjoyable
but you made the most out of it. Just like you always do,you
know how to make everything better. I'm sorry I couldn't
protect you,I wasn't there to protect you and our babies. I
shouldn't have stressed you out so much. I just didn't know how
to deal with all the stress. First Sphatho was in jail and I had to
get him out,I promised you to leave that life but he's my
friend,my right hand man and I had to. I don't know who got
him out since I went missing. One of the restaurants caught
fire,the owner's ex wife is responsible for it so the insurance
company said they won't pay a cent. Now the money for repairs
has to come out of our pockets,babe you know how I hate
losing money" I sigh frustrated " Then it was the day I've been
dreading,my grandmother's birthday. I just felt so
overwhelmed,if she was here she would know what to do and
that got me so frustrated. She should still be alive. I know I
shouldn't have but I went out to get some fresh air and ended
up in a bar. I know I was reckless and anything could've
happened. I feel like I owe it to you and our kids. I'm sorry
sthandwa sami. I shouldn't have made you so worried. I'll never
do it again. I'll never leave your side. I was just so stressed out
and it doesn't help when the kids complain that I don't spend
enough time with them anymore. Snothando is slowly
detaching from me because I'm never home anymore. I'm sorry
sthandwa sami. I love you a lot and our little girls" I say rubbing
her stomach. I want girls because I want to feel that fuzzy
feeling that I felt inside when Snothando was young and she
was wrapped around my finger. Ndabe is his mom's child,can't
dispute that.
"I love you too" her voice comes out hoarse. I look at her and
her eyes are still closed
"Baby are you okay?do you remember who I am?" I ask and she
smiles, her eyes still closed. I hug her for dear life and she hugs
me back swiftly after
"Ouch" she says and I loosen my grip around her. She looks at
me with her tired eyes,that have become small and a brownish
colour
"Are you alright?where does it hurt?" I ask and she smiles at me
once again,her smile is weak
"I have a headache,the rest of my body is numb. I can't feel it"
she says softly. I nod "I heard everything you said. I forgive you"
I look at her amazed. This wasn't the plan,she was supposed to
be at home with a home cooked meal "it's probably my turn to
explain" she sighs staring at the window by her side. It's dark
outside and the curtains are closed
"Remember what Dr Myeza said when I was pregnant with
Ndabe? something about I was supposed to lose him at a
certain stage of my pregnancy but I didn't. I just felt like
because there are two babies now,maybe one or even both
could possibly die. I really don't want to go through what I went
through again. It's painful having to look at this scar they left
and have to imagine what life would've been. Now I realise that
maybe,it was a blessing in disguise. Babe I was so young at the
time and I was so goal orientated,how would I have managed
twins?I wasn't ready to be a mother at all. Wherever they
are,they're happy and I know it. That's why we've been blessed
with another pair. I'm sorry for ever suggesting an abortion,it
was an irrational decision. I'm also sorry for not considering
your feelings or how you chose to heal the death of our
children. It was selfish of me to do. I love you too,heck I love
you more. Being married to you is the best thing ever" she's
now looking at me with sad eyes. I hold her cheek and kiss her
soft lips. Even after +- 7 years,they still taste so good against
mine. I'm blessed to have a wife that forgives and acknowledges
her mistakes when she's wrong. She's the best thing I could ask
for
"Have you eaten anything?I called Dr Myeza to come here
because she needs to give us guidelines of how to go about this
pregnancy" I say to her. She nods
"No I haven't ate anything by the way" she points out and I
chuckle. She loves food this one
"What would you like to eat?" I ask her
"Anything but hospital food,eeuw" she gags and I laugh,rolling
my eyes. She taught me this rolling of eyes motion. It's her fault.
I stand up from the bed and kiss her cheek
"Umuhle noma ukhathele ma'wakwami(you're beautiful even
when you're tired mother of my household)" I say and she hides
her face in her little hands "are you blushing?" I mock
"Stoppp" she says looking at me,trying to maintain a straight
face. I laugh and she laughs along. I leave her my phone so she
could play games or call the kids cause we left her phone at
home. I walk to the hospital cafeteria and decided to get her
flowers,a bouquet of dark pink tulips,for a change. I buy her
mango juice,her pregnancy juice,and potato soup because a pie
is too messy. I grab a sandwich for myself because I know she'll
complain about me not eating. I walk back with the plastic of
food in my hand and the bouquet of flowers in my other hand. I
walk in to many faces and she's carrying a bouquet of white
daisies
"Who bought my wife flowers?" I ask putting emphasis on 'my
wife'. They all turn to look at me. It's Lunga, Thapelo ,Buhle
,Khosi ,Tumi ,Okuhle ,Zakhe , Sphatho,Lunga and Bayanda. The
girls,including Tumi,laugh at my dramaticness but the gents
don't seem impressed. I greet them and give my wife her
flowers. They even bought her balloons and some goodies. Why
didn't I think of that?
"Eat up,you need the strength" I wink at her,giving her the soup
I bought and she smiles because she knows what I mean. If
there's one thing I've picked up,it's that Siyamu takes her
pregnancy as an intimate,personal and spiritual thing. If too
many people know,her peace gets disturbed because not
everyone wishes good on her
"Thandolwethu,a word?" Bayanda breaks the silence. Hawu,full
name? I nod and walk out,the rest of the gents follow me
outside. They are all giving me death stares. What have I done
this time?
"Gents what's up?" I ask and Thapelo chuckles. I remember him
hitting me so hard but I don't know what for
"Bayanda and I left so you found a chance to finish her off?"
Thapelo asks. I'm genuinely confused
"Excuse me?"
"Nyuz me nyuz me for what?you hit her and that's why she's in
hospital" Bayanda imitates me and his statement got me in a fit
of emotions.
"I didn't hit her. She's my wife and I love her. She fell down the
stairs" I say through gritted teeth,trying to surpress my anger
"So you pushed her down the stairs?" Lunga asks. This is
frustrating me now and why isn't Lunga drunk today?
"No!I wasn't even there when she fell" I slightly raise my voice.
"So she just fell down the stairs?come on Thando,after what
you did to her in the morning?" Bayanda says
"I admit I was drunk okay?I've explained to her everything she
needs to know. I was stressed and I went out drinking,leaving
my guards behind. I know it was wrong and selfish of me. I will
live to rectify that mistake. You can't crucify me while she has
forgiven me" I say and Zakhe shakes his head
"It doesn't change the fact that you put her in this hospital bed"
Bayanda says and I take a deep breath in,closing my eyes for a
second. She really is,she's here because of me but I can't afford
to tell them that she's pregnant
"Thando!Thando!there's something wrong with Siyamu" Tumi
says through the door and his face is plastered with panick all
over. I rush into the room and Siyamu is sweating profusely. She
is breathing in and out as Okuhle is instructing her. The gents
run in after me. I hold her chin,making her look at me. Her eyes
are filled with tears that are on the verge of coming out.
"What's wrong baby?should we call the nurse" I ask her. She
nods and I hold her hands "someone call a nurse"
"Ahhh Thando don't leave me" she cries out holding her
stomach. No ,no ,no. Tears run down her cheeks
"Can everyone please vacate the room?" I hear a lady say
"Baby it hurts so bad" she says pulling me closer "I can't be
having another miscarriage baby,I'm sorry. I'm so sorry"
I kiss her sweaty forehead and she grabs onto my t-shirt "ma'am
where does it hurt?" the nurse asks. Siyamu holds her lower
abdomen. The nurse takes her needle and injects her on her
arm "now you'll have to calm down for me"
"Is that safe for pregnant women?" I ask staring at her
"Yes it is very safe" Siyamu let's go of my t-shirt and I watch her
slowly calming down,closing her eyes
"Love you" she says before closing her eyes completely. I didn't
even get the chance to respond. Dr Myeza walks in
"What's going on man?why is she having pains?" I ask him after
the nurse briefed him on what has happened
"You know that she is carrying twins right?and her pregnancy is
a high risk. The blood tests I just got back,show that she has a
womb infection. Now, normally,we would clean it out after
finding out but she's pregnant so we can't because it may harm
the baby. We'll have to wait till she gives birth,but chances are
that her uterus will be unhealthy by the time because of this
infection so we'll have to take her womb out." he says a
mouthful and I'm just thinking of a way to tell my wife.This will
break her. I really don't care if we don't have kids again,I just
want her to be alive and happy,by my side, forever.
96
Thandolwethu's pov:
I look at her ass jiggle up and down as she walks in those short
pyjamas
"You've got to rest" I tell her because she only got discharged
yesterday but she wants to be busy with everything "plus I'm
not hungry"
"Who said I'm making food for you?" she asks laughing
"Babe ngakhipha u700k weh lobola,ngeke ngingadli phela(I took
out R700 000 for dowry,I can't not eat)" I say and her eyes pop
out
"What? That's why you guys were hiding it from me?are you
insane Thandolwethu?you were wasting money,you should've
negotiated"
"Babe,what was I supposed to do because I love you and I'm
willing to take out any amount for you?you're worth more than
just a mere 700k. That's change to me my love" she rolls her
eyes at my statement
"It's still wrong" she says. My eyes travel to her behind again as
she turns her back on me to open the fridge. She turns around
and I divert my eyes to her beautiful face. Sangweni junior
already twitching in my pants. She raises her head and catches
me staring,I stare at my hands giving an embarrassed blush.
"You're weird muntu wami" she says laughing at me while
stuffing her face with some cheese. Yeah ne, pregnancy cravings
I tell you
"Woza la kwi babazi lakho (come to your man)" I instruct and
she walks over to me,where I'm leaning on the kitchen island. I
hold her waist and she rubs my arm up and down with her free
hand,since the other one has a cast. "Why aren't you wearing
warm pyjamas?"
"Why should I?" she questions back
"Because you're getting someone excited" I say and she gasps. I
give her a peck on the lips and she looks at me, probably
wanting more. I peck her lips again and she uses her free hand
to hold the back of my head and pull me closer to her face. I
pull her waist closer so that she could feel my bulge. It's gotten
to the point where it's painful now. She gives me a peck and she
laughs at my reaction. I honestly thought it would be a deep
kiss
"Ugh guys,get a room" I hear Snothando say and her mother
laughs
"You should get your own house" I respond to her and she
laughs. Ndabe opens the freezer and takes out ice-cream
"Ma ice-cream,pretty please?" he asks
"No ice-cream at night boy boy" she responds. Ndabe cries so
loud that I think the neighbors can hear him. Mom rushes in the
kitchen and I let Siyamu go. She picks up Ndabe with her one
hand and carries him "musa ukukhala fana ka mama,uyazibona
umubi kanjani (don't cry mommy's boy,look at how ugly you
are)"
"Thando ushade noh John Cena(you're married with)" mom
comments and we laugh. I take Ndabe from her and he starts
crying again.
"Ndabezinhle" I speak and he muffles his cries "umkami
ukhathele(my wife is tired)"
"Come to your grandmother Ndabe,your parents don't want
you tonight" mom says and we laugh. I hand him over to mom
and they disappear to the guestroom,where mom is sleeping.
Snothando has also dissapeared somewhere. I take Siyamu's
hand and we make sure all the doors are locked and all lights
are switched off.
"Babe what's in that room?I swear I've never seen it" I ask.
That's how big the house is,some parts I've never seen
"I think it's the storage room,I don't know either" she says and I
laugh. She drags me to the fleet of stairs,remind me again why
we made a double staircase? Her ass does that thing again and I
stop her. She turns to look at me. I scoop her over my shoulder
and run up the stairs with her. She keeps on giggling the whole
way up
"Then mom says I'm John Cena" she says and I chuckle.
Okay,now I regret it,she's heavier than I thought. I punch the
passcode on our door and close it behind me. We wouldn't
want the kids finding our weapons that are hidden here, that's
why we have our doors locked with pins. There are guestrooms
upstairs,with ours but the kids rooms are downstairs,with more
guestrooms. I gently place her on the bed
"You look beautiful" I say kissing her stomach. I take off my
shoes,white shirt,my suit pants and my socks. I'm left in my
underwear
"Where did you put my pyjamas?they're not under my pillow" I
ask confused because that's where I put them in the morning
"Make love to me,me, me. Ohhhh make love to meee" she sings
Beyonce's 1+1. Yes I listen to her now,Siyamu and her daughter
forced me into it. She takes off her pyjama shirt and her boobs
bounce out
"I can't baby,you have a cast on" I say and she stands up to
stand infront of me
"You'll make love to me,not the cast" she pulls me to her lips
and I capture them just in time. I take off her pyjama shorts and
pick her up,putting her back on the bed. My god,she's not
wearing underwear. Her freshly waxed kitten is looking at me,
waiting for me to devour it. I fondle her breasts and she closes
her eyes,wrapping her legs around my waist,pulling me closer.
My fingers play around with her skittles,opening and closing her
wet folds. "No foreplay baby,I want you" she moans out
"Whatever the lady wants,the lady gets" I take off my
underwear and she peeks at Sangweni junior and closes her
eyes again. I laugh at her. I position myself at her
entrance,rubbing myself on her. She moans. I unexpectedly turn
her to lay on her stomach and she gasps "I'm taking it from the
back today" I say and she giggles
•••
"You called me here for what exactly,that I had to leave my wife
in bed and come here?" I ask them. We're at Thapelo's
house,it's 7am in the morning. It's
Thapelo,Zakhe,Lunga,Bayanda and Ntokozo
"Don't be rude,I'm still older than you" Ntokozo says. I roll my
eyes because I know what this is about. I know that deep down
he still wants my wife all to himself
"Thando don't you think you should go somewhere for your
anger issues?" Lunga asks
"Sorry?" I heard what he asked but I want him to ask that
question again
"Thando you pushed the poor woman down the stairs" Zakhe
comments. I chuckle. I take out my phone from my pocket and
dial Snothando's number. I put it on speaker,it rings for a while
before she answers. She came to me and apologized for how
she spoke to me that day and I apologized too,for putting all
that worry on her.
"Dad" she says
"Princess,what happened that day your mom went to hospital?"
I ask
"She fainted and fell down the stairs,why?" she responds
"Where was I when she fell?" I ask again
"You were at the garage. Why are you asking all these questions
dad?" she asks
"No it's nothing serious,I'll see you later" I say and hang up.
Bayanda is staring at the floor,probably embarrassed because of
the treatment they've been giving me. The rest of the guys just
stare at me "can I go now?" my phone rings. I answer trying my
best not to blush like a lovestruck teenager
"Baby" she says
"Mmh" I respond
"I'm not going to wake up and look for you,this house is so big.
Are you in our room office?" she says lazily and I laugh. We have
an office that is by the roof in our room,it's there because of the
view. It's really just glass. Then there's our closet,an indoor
jacuzzi and a small area where we drink coffee in the
morning.Then there are more stairs to go to the rooftop from
our room,where there is a mini pool.It's really big hey,our
interior designer did a great job
"No I'm not in the house,are you hungry?"
"Where are you?at work?" she asks
"No,I'll tell you when I come back"
"So Luyanda woke me up. She called telling me you booked us a
place in Mpumalanga for the rest of the week" she says.
Luyanda is my personal assistant
"Yeah and we're leaving tonight, but you can carry on sleeping
because we're leaving during the day" I tell her and she
cheers,making me laugh again. I play with my fingers,okay now
I'm showing everyone that in whipped
"Haa how will I sleep after receiving such news?let me start
packing. I love you so much,let me not disturb you any further"
she says and I hear Ndabe in the background
"The way you're excited it's like you've never been out of the
province" I say and she laughs "I love you more" she drops the
call. Imagine?this woman?
"Thando man,if you were us you also would've taken this
seriously. First you grabbed her like that in the morning and
now she's in hospital,what were we supposed to think?"
Thapelo says trying to justify himself. He should just apologize
straight
"Oh so all of a sudden I'm abusive now?I have anger issues
right?just let me go home,to my wife,who cares about
me,unlike some of you. Thapelo as my best friend I expected
better from you. And my brother's?wow,I just can't believe
you'd think I would do something like that to Siyamu" I stand up
and Thapelo stands up too,blocking my way
"You can't leave, we're not done talking" he says and I push him
back. He stumbles but quickly gets up to push me back "Thando
stop it man" he says
"Uzongenzani?(what will you do to me)" I ask him,grabbing him
by his t-shirt and he grabs mine too
"Uzokhala mfana(I'll make you cry man)" Ntokozo stands up and
holds me from behind. Lunga holds Thapelo from his side
"Ahy ngeke madoda,you won't fix anything with your fists"
Zakhe chips in
"Yeah I agree" Bayanda says
"No,if he wants to hit me then he must come. I'm not scared of
you,you piece of shit" he shouts trying to get out of Lunga's
hold. I don't even know why we're fighting
"Problem is,you,as my best friend,you're supposed to have my
back but you're fucken turning on me" I shout at him
back,trying to grab him from Lunga
"Ahy Thando yehlisa umoya (calm down)" Ntokozo says behind
me
"Leave me the fuck alone. I want to go home,to my family" I
wriggle out of his hold.
"What's going on? you'll wake up the kids" Khosi appears and I
take my phone from the coffee table and leave the house.
Thapelo makes me so mad,all of them do. Why do they think
I'm an abuser?I don't have anger issues. I honestly get where
they are coming from but why are they jumping to conclusions?
97
Siyamu's pov:
"I wish you'd start kicking now,so daddy could know that you
guys hear him" he says rubbing my small baby bump. I clear my
throat, startling him. I laugh at his reaction
"Can't a girl get some sleep in peace?" I ask and he smiles,that
panty dropping smile of his
"I'm sorry. My excitement got the best of me" he says putting
his hands on my waist. I can't bear the thought that I wanted to
take away something so precious to him. He looks genuinely
happy about our twins. I'm happy to say we're 16 weeks in,4
months and we've been able to hide it from everyone. We're
past the danger zone of the pregnancy but we're not out of the
woods yet "did you have another dream?" he asks me.
"No" he looks super disappointed. I had a dream about his
grandmother,last week,shortly after we had visited her grave.
She was walking with me to the the ancestral rondavel we have
in the yard. She walked in and showed me 4 different types of
candles,a pink one,blue one,white one and a yellow one,and
two chickens. A hen and a rooster. Thando told me he knows
what it means so here we are today,doing a ceremony to thank
the ancestors and ask them for our hearts desires "babe don't
worry,don't rush the process. She might not even show up in
my dreams again but you'll see her work through how your life
will change"
"Yeah, maybe. How do you always know what to say?I wish I
was you" he says snuggling his big head on my chest. I giggle
"I'm your role model basically" I say
"Obviously" he laughs "let's get ready for the day because if we
don't,we never will" he's right. He's really clingy when I'm
pregnant,it's like I'm the most delicate thing to ever walk this
earth. He gets up and pulls me up too. He kisses me all over my
face and I roll my eyes. I clap my hands and our curtains open.
The morning sun hits my skin and he hugs me from behind.
What did I say about his clinginess?I hold his arms and he lays
his head on my shoulder "why do you want to run away from
me goblin monster?" he asks laughing. I was wearing an
avocado oil face mask and Ndabe said I look like a goblin
monster. Ever since that,that's been my name
"It's not funny" I say taking his hands off me. By the way, we're
only in our underwear. Don't look at us like that, we're
married,lol. I walk to our bathroom,leaving him laughing there. I
get into the bathtub when my water is full. I instantly relax
when the hot water is in contact with my skin. I laugh at myself,I
never really thought I'd get pregnant with twins
"Should I leave?am I disturbing a session with your imaginary
friend?" Thando mocks me
"Ndo just get in the shower" I tell him rolling my eyes
"Hayibo! In the shower?I'm taking a bath with my wife" sheesh
this man and being clingy? He gets inside the bathtub,behind
me. He takes my soap and rubs it on my back. He ends up
running his hands all over my shoulders,massaging me slightly.
Oh he could bathe with me all day,all night.
•••
"Nina bo Sangweni,Mangwane ngwadi,
Nina bakwaManzezulu. Ngiyathokoza boh gogo noh mkhulu"
Ndo says appeasing the ancestors. We're in the ancestral hut
and Thando has just finished off the last part of the ceremony.
The chickens have been slaughtered. Unfortunately,only family
was allowed today,close family. It's Thando,Ntokozo,my mother
in law,Bayanda,Ntobeko and Ntokomalo,Snothando and Ndabe,
Lwanele,Lihle,Sne and Nhlamulo, Mandla and Nelisiwe. I didn't
want that girl here after that stunt she pulled but she said she
wasn't staying if her brother was going to be here so we let her
be. Her parents mustn't cry when I put poison in her food. He
drinks umqombothi (traditional beer)
from ukhamba (traditional beer bowl) and his mother ululates
"Umkakho?(your wife)" Bayanda asks jokingly
"Cha Bayanda. Thatha la(take this)" Ndo replies passing the
beer to Ntokozo
"Une drama Thando" Bayanda mocks and I muffle a giggle. All
the men there drink the traditional beer and then we make our
way out. It's been drizzling since Friday so the sky is a little
dark,even though it's still 2pm. Thando holds my hand. Ndabe
and Lwanele run past us
"Ndabezinhle no running!"I shout and they both stop,giving me
toothy smiles,okay not all their teeth are present. Ndabe lost his
two front teeth and Lwanele lost only one
"Sorry mommy" they both say and my heart melts. Lwanele
calls me mommy just because Ndabe does that and it's so cute
"It's fine babies" they start speed walking to the house but
they'll get tired half way through. This house has a big ass lawn.
There's also six cottages, Ndabe's play house,his playground,our
garden and then there's open spaces. Thando holds my waist
and kisses my cheek nonstop. I giggle,trying to get out of his
hold
"How are my princesses treating you today?" he asks me
rubbing my stomach through the pinafore I'm wearing. He got it
tailored just for me,talk about men with money
"Hey!who said it's girls?" I ask him
"Guys get a room" Snothando says passing by
"You get a house" her father responds
"Makoti where's your wine?" Ma asks and I laugh. Thando lets
go of me and I can tell that he's sulking. God,what am I
supposed to do with this grown ass man? I follow ma into the
house,to the kitchen. Bayanda,Mandla,Thando and Lihle follow
us to the kitchen
"What do you want to drink mamazi?" Bayanda asks me.
Thando gives me the eye. The 'if you dare' eye. Yeah ne.
"Mango juice" I say and Bayanda laughs at me
"Why though?" he asks again. My God Bayanda!
"Bayanda she's pregnant,okay?now stop it, otherwise I'll kill
you" Thando says pointing at him with the dish cloth
"Oh I'm going to be an uncle again" Mandla exclaims and I laugh
"Boy or girl?" Lihle asks
"Your wine tastes great" ma says and she's drinking my least
favourite wine,which I'm grateful for. It was a present at the
Global Music Awards and I couldn't reject it so it's been in the
fridge for the past 5 months.
"You should be asking if it's boys or girls" Thando says and
Bayanda cracks up
"Awu Thando, that's my brother!" Mandla shouts making me
laugh. These gents have really gotten close
"Yeah dude,that's who we know you to be" Bayanda says
"Ah and the lady that's going to be carrying those big heads?"
Lihle asks and Bayanda scratches his head
"Wena Bayanda shut up,tshela ubhuti wakho kuthi usumithisile
futhi (tell your brother that you've impregnated someone
again)" ma says shocking us
"Guys let's not talk about it now. Let's talk about married
couples first" Bayanda responds making us laugh
"I can't wait till I give birth to these babies,Thando is so
clingy,not that I mind though" I say and everyone cracks up
"Trust me it isn't easy" ma responds
"Mommy you're having babies?" Ndabe asks behind me and I
turn to look at him
"Yes my love" I smile warmly at his cute face. A mixture of
Thando and I,standing right infront of me
"Where will you get them?" he asks clueless about this situation
"I'll buy them from the store and bring them home" I tell him
pure lies!my poor baby
"I know that you'll love them like you love me because you love
everyone mom,even dad,and dad is old" he says pointing at
that man who has one white hair on his beard and we all laugh.
He hugs me and I hug him back,he may be trouble but he's still
the love of my life after all "mom I came to tell you that I
accidentally broke the bathroom window" he says and runs
away. My god?and I still have to give birth to two more of these
children
"My offspring madoda" Thando says laughing
"Go check it out" I tell him and he walks out to follow Ndabe
"Mom" Snothando says. I look up to meet her beautiful eyes
gazing back at mine. She finally came out to me,but we haven't
told her father that she's a lesbian. I suspected her for such
such a long time but I didn't want to pry "you're pregnant?" she
asks. Hayibo! Why do these children keep doing this?
"Haa all of you know now" Bayanda says and we laugh. The
drama of these men
"Yes baby,no telling people right?" she nods
"Can I please touch?" I nod at her. She touches my stomach and
she smiles
"Enough now,I'm going to be the godfather,everyone knows by
now" Bayanda says
"No,relax,the cool uncle is going to be the godfather" Mandla
intervenes making us all laugh. These two are crazy
"Guys there's enough babies to godfather here. Calm down" I
say and they laugh
98
Thandolwethu's pov:
"Duck" I mock and laugh. She walks like a duck now. Being 35
weeks pregnant with twins isn't child's play. She gives me a
death stare before she tries to lotion her legs but she can't
reach "let me help you" I take her lotion and lotion her legs
while massaging her feet. She pulls the continental pillow and
puts it behind her back. She closes her eyes and I know she's
about to sleep so I won't stop. Eventually she starts snoring
softly,with her lips slightly parted. They're tempting me,they
always look so ready for a kiss. I give in to my temptation and
peck her lips. She shoots her eyes open and creases form on her
forehead
"Baby are you okay?" I ask trying not to sound panicky
"My water broke" she responds touching the wet bed. I quickly
get a towel to wipe her because she had just gotten out of the
shower. I grab a dress for her and help her put it on
"Any pains yet?" I ask again
"No" I help her stand up and wear her sleeping shoes. Her feet
are so swollen,I dont think she'll make it to the door so I grab
the wheelchair in the room and make her sit on it. She's starting
to sweat meaning she's in pain
"Breathe baby breathe" I tell her,wheeling her out of our room.
We moved the room downstairs since she couldn't go up and
down the stairs. A part of me was scared that she might fall
again and that time,our children might not be lucky "Snothando
bring the baby bag" she meets me halfway to the garage with
Siyamu's hospital bag "call Thapelo and Bayanda" I tell
Snothando
"Dad which car should I put it in?"Snothando asks. Siyamthanda
screams out in pain with tears running down her cheeks
"Baby calm down,just breathe in and out" I tell her and she
breathes in and out "in your mom's BMW"
"Thando it hurts so bad" she cries out. We finally get to the
garage and I help her into the backseat.
"Snothando,in the backseat with your mom" I say and she does
so. I know Ndabe is safe with Sandiswa and there are guards on
duty. I drive out making sure to speed fast enough to get
Siyamu to stop complaining but not fast enough to get us into
an accident. I can gladly say that this was a smooth pregnancy.
She only suffered from back pains and swollen feet. Otherwise
she was fine because she drank all her medication. I play some
jazz music, thinking it'll calm her down. I park at the front and
quickly jump out of the front seat to help her get out. I pull out
her legs first and then we take a breather again. Then I finally
pull her out. Snothando is holding their bags while I hold her
waist and she's holding on to my shoulder. We walk in slowly
through the hospital doors and a nurse rushes to us with a
wheelchair. The nurse asks her a series of questions before
taking us to a room,her room. Snothando sits on the chair while
I help her mom change into the hospital gown.
"Baby please tell them I want to give birth naturally" she cries.
This has got to be painful, Siyamthanda really doesn't cry for
anything. She likes acting strong
"You can't babe,you know that you have to do an operation
after that right?" I ask her softly and she nods
"They're going to create another scar" I wipe the tears that
grace her cheeks
"But this scar symbolises new life. This time around,our babies
get to live" I hug her tight and she hugs me back
"What about me?" Snothando asks making us laugh
"Get married" I tell her
"You said it yourself" she says and I give her a stare. I was not
serious! The doctor Dr Myeza suggested walks in
"Hey guys,it's time for the babies to see some light. Mommy
how's the pain?" the woman asks and Siyamu heaves a sigh
"okay then,let's go" she says and I chuckle. Two nurses walk in
and wheel Siyamu out. I look at princess
"You'll be okay, right?I love you kiddo"
"I love you too dad,now go get my siblings"she says and I rush
out after the nurses and the doctor. We enter the surgery room
and they inject her with some liquid. The only fun part about
this is finding out the sex of the baby.
"Okay now mommy, we're going to take out baby number 1"
the doctor says "do you feel any pain?"
"No,I'm just really really tired" she says and sighs. I hold her
hand tighter. I'm suffocating under this mask. They made me
wear a hospital gown and take all the necessary precautions to
ensure that my little family is safe. A cry brings me out of my
realm of thoughts
"A healthy baby boy" the doctor says "scissors" she commands
again and hands them to me. I cut the umbilical cord where
they have showed me and the nurse takes my baby away to
clean him. He has stopped crying now. He looks so cute with his
cherry red lips
"A second boy" she announces once again and they look so
small and fragile. We're having boys again,again I cut the
umbilical cord. This one didn't cry but he looks as if he is
sleeping. How can you sleep during your own birth?yeah ne,we
have unique kids. They are put into little incubators. I look at
their little pale bodies,their probably there because she was still
8 months pregnant. One of them cries but both have their eyes
closed
"And the third, healthy baby girl" the doctor says
"What?" Siyamu and I ask in shock. So the whole time they said
she's carrying twins but it was triplets. God is great!
"Your baby girl has been hiding in there" doc says handing the
girl to the nurse. We didn't plan for this, honestly,this is a
miracle. They ask me to leave because Siyamu is about to do
her operation after showing Siyamthanda all her babies. She
was so overjoyed,she even cried at the sights of her newborns
•••
"You can't take them out but you can hold their hands" I tell
Siyamu who has just woken up
"Babe they are literally so tiny"
"And there's three of them, how come we didn't know the
whole time?" I ask her flabbergasted
"Have you named them?" she asks. She's been sleeping for 6
hours
"No,our family was here earlier,mom said sebanele abantwana
bethu(our children are enough)" I say laughing. She giggles too
"Boy number 1 is Musawenkosi" she says holding his hand "this
is god's grace"
"Musawenkosi, Banele abafana kwa Sangweni" I say and she
smiles. Ndabe is going to be so happy to have little siblings but
Snothando? she'll be ecstatic
"Boy number 2 is Bonginkosi,we thank the lord for their safe
arrival" she says again, retracting her hand from Musa to
Bongi's incubator
"Bonginkosi,Sanele kwa Sangweni" I say. We never even
planned the babies names
"And our precious,last,baby girl. I know you've always wanted
another girl" she says making me chuckle. She also wanted a
girl "Ibenathi inkosi ,the lord has been with us through this
whole journey"
"Ibenathi,Wanele umndeni wakwa Sangweni"
"How are we going to tell them apart?" She asks me and we
laugh
"Musa has my birthmark,behind his ear and Nkosi has your
birthmark on his arm. Ibe doesn't have one" she says
"Yeah but when they're dressed?" Snothando asks making us
laugh again
"We'll figure something out" her mom replies
"Can I please post this on my story?" she asks me showing me a
picture of Siyamu and I talking while holding each babies hand
"You have to hide their faces nana" Siyamu tells her
"Alright,mom?I thought you were carrying twins" Snothando
says
"That's what we also thought" she responds laughing. The 21st
of January
"Isn't it weird how malum'Bayanda always has a kid born few
months before your kids?" Snothando asks me
"It is,baby?who are the godparents of these children?" I ask
again
"I feel like each child should have different godparents. I
mean,Thapelo already has Snothando and Ndabezinhle. Why
don't we pick our siblings?" she suggests
"That's a good idea,I wonder how we'll handle three newborns
and Ndabezinhle altogether" I really wonder how we'll do it,but
because we're a team I know we're going to do it and ace it.
These kids deserve the world and that's what we will give them
99
Siyamu's pov:
I look at him snoring his life away. He must have been jetlegged
yesterday. It has been 6 beautifully sculptured years since the
birth of our babies. There were fights here and there,but,it was
always about what had to be done,when we couldn't see eye to
eye. I never worried about him around girls in music videos,he's
a music producer and girls in bikinis will always be there.
Generation after generation. I can't be mad at him for doing
what's part of his job description. Strangely,our life has been so
peaceful,so peaceful that we don't carry guns around and we
don't have as many guards. I touch the streaks of white hair on
his beard. He's so tired,the fun we had with the kids in
Mozambique?yhuu it was unmissed. I shift away from his hold
to get out of bed
"MaMshengu" he says
"Baba ka Ndabe" I respond looking at him,his eyes are still
closed. We still live in the same house we built after we got
married,I just can't seem to leave it behind,well that makes the
both of us
"Uyaphi ekuseni kanje?(where are you going in the early hours
of the morning?)" he asks,his eyes still closed
"Babakhe it's 11am" he opens his eyes to look at me. He's
become the real version of a Zulu dad,but without the
potbelly,yes he doesn't have abs anymore because he doesn't
go to the gym as often but he also doesn't have a potbelly. It's
just a normal flat belly. He shaved off all his hair when his father
died,4 years ago,so now he just keeps his head bald because I
said it looks great on him. You won't believe me when I tell you
how happy Thandolwethu was when his father died. His words
were "he's finally going to stop torturing me" of course I was
still cautious,it was still his father. There was a lot of drama
during his funeral because he had already married another
woman which was not known to the family so it was a lot. He
left his newly found wife his businesses, his property and all his
assets. Nothing for Thando's mom or any of his kids,even his
precious Nelisiwe that he loved so much
"Mkami we only came back at 5am, lala"
"Sthandwa sami lala,I'm going to check on the kids" I tell him
touching his cheek. His eyes are even a brownish colour
"Ngyakthanda yezwa?" I blush and he chuckles closing his eyes.
Am I not too old to be blushing?a whole 36 year old woman
blushing?lol
"Ngiyakuthanda nami babakhe" I respond giving him a peck on
his lips. I get off the bed and put on my sleepers. I walk into our
bathroom. Why don't I just take a shower instead of just
washing my face? I open the shower faucet before stripping off
my nightdress and entering the shower. The warm water
soothes my aching muscles. When I'm done taking a shower,I
lotion and wear a nude bodycon dress. I tie my natural hair into
a low ponytail and wear my Chanel flops. I walk out of our
closet and watch him as he continues snoring. There has been
days of our marriage where I have hated him so bad,okay hate
is a big word,days where I didn't like him that much but never
have I ever regretted waking up and choosing him everyday. I
could never get tired of him.
I kiss his cheek before walking out of our bedroom. I go to
Ibenathi's bedroom first because it's right next to ours. I knock
and open when nobody answers. I peek my head through and
see her bed neatly made. My baby girl has grown so much,so
reserved and thoughtful. I guess she's downstairs so I go ahead
to knock on Nkosi's door. I open and peek my head through,he
is still sleeping peacefully. Bonginkosi has always been the wild
twin,always the first one to create trouble and so
outspoken,he's never afraid to say what's on his mind. I walk
over to Musa's door and knock. I peek my head inside and his
bed is not made but he's not inside and his pyjamas aren't on
the bed so he's not bathing. He's probably watching cartoons.
Musawenkosi is the in-between twin. He has his days of being a
quiet kid but when he's with Nkosi?a whole different person.
Ibenathi is definitely my twin,not personality wise, but looks-
wise. She has my hair,my nose,my eyes,my lips and most things.
She only took her father's ears and skin tone, otherwise she's
my twin. Whereas the boys are Thando's twins. It's sad to say
that they only took my nose and eyes, nothing else is mine.
Snothando doesn't live with us anymore,she's 21 and still
studying. It took a lot of convincing to her father to let her live
on her own. He's such a tough nut to crack. Ndabezinhle is now
11 years old. In my perspective we're close but ubabakhe thinks
Ndabe is trying to steal his woman,lol. The drama of these two
men. Ndabe is so naughty sometimes,he doesn't listen! One
time I almost kicked him out of my house. We caught him
smoking and drinking with his friends,in our house! He stopped
smoking but I can tell that he still drinks. I've given up on this
child. Snothando finally told her dad that she's lesbian and I can
say he took it well. He was just happy that no man can ever
touch his baby girl but then he said Snothando shouldn't date
anyone and she should become a nun. We laughed at him the
whole week
I descend the stairs and make my way to the kitchen. I find
Snothando,Ibe and Musa eating cereal. As I expected, Musa is
in his pyjamas while the others look like they have showered
"Good morning babies" I say and they greet me back with hugs.
"Are you leaving today?" I ask Snothando and she nods
"I have to,I have like three assignments due mom and you
always preach about time management,right?"
"Yes but one last day? please" I beg her "I'll tell you my secret
recipe for my choc chip cookies"
"Oh I'm definitely staying then" she says making me giggle.
"Mom please make me your chicken alfredo today, pretty
please" Musa begs and I laugh
"I will" I say while we get started on the dough for the cookies.
Ibenathi had already dressed herself up and Musa went to take
a bath. I'm guessing Ndabe is still sleeping. Snothando mixes
the dough while Ibe brings her the ingredients
"Yay mom is baking today!" Nkosi screams running into the
kitchen followed by Musa. I guess they bathed together
because their hair is wet. What did I say about Nkosi?
"Good morning to you too Bonginkosi Sangweni" I say and he
blushes
"Good morning mom, good morning everyone" he says and his
sister's greet back. We wait for the cookies to rise while I start
on dinner. The two men in my life make their way into the
kitchen laughing. That's a rare sight to see. Musa and Nkosi are
just here to eat,not help out,these kids geez.
"Morning everyone" the father says
"It's midday daddy" Ibenathi corrects him
"Oh yeah, sorry. Now where are the cookies?" he asks making
them laugh, except me. He knows what he's doing wrong
"Mami" Ndabe says kissing my cheek. He's become taller and
puberty is hitting him waya waya. He's already growing facial
hair,oh there's not much, there's just like 3 strings but we didn't
sleep the day he found out he has them.
"Mkami" Thando says kissing my other cheek
"Hamba uyokhumula lento oyigqokile(go take off what you're
wearing) Thandolwethu" I say to him
"Awu kodwa mam'Sangweni" he complains while the kids laugh
at him. No man of mine will wear creased clothes. This dude
has perfectly ironed clothes
"Mom can I please go see the gents today?" Ndabe asks
"Ndabe we're spending the day as a family today,even your
sister isn't leaving" I say sternly
"But mom,we just spent a whole week together in
Mozambique" he argues. I put the fork I was using to stir the
pasta down and look at him
"Well shoot me for wanting to spend time with my kids before
leaving" I mumble walking away
"Wait up ma" he holds my wrist and I look at him "you're
leaving? when?"
"Tomorrow,to Jamaica for 3 months. Why do you think I've been
pushing spending time with you guys so much?" I ask and he
looks as if he's in his thoughts
"So you won't be here for your birthday?for Christmas and the
twins birthday?" he seems sad about it. Ndabe loves spending
Christmas with us, mainly because he's already started
spending New year's Eve with his friends.
"Ndabe I promise I'll make it up to you guys when I come back.
You know how important my clothing line is to me, right?" he
nods. My clothing business finally took off the ground and we're
going international now. I kiss his cheek making him blush
"Now please carry on making dinner, can't wait to eat your food
again. It's been a week!" he exclaims making me laugh. We go
back to the kitchen and continue preparing. Thando comes back
wearing sweatpants and a vest. My baby is nothing without me
honestly. Sandile came out of prison and he came back to
apologize. I forgave him because what's the use of holding a
grudge? It doesn't mean we're friends again. Him and Buhle co-
parent really good. My friend hasn't remarried yet. Ntokozo got
married after his father's death,he still has two kids though.
Bayanda is still unmarried with two kids
When we're finished making dinner we sit in the living room
watching our old pictures on my USB. Thando and I before we
had the other six kids,when Ndabe was a baby,when the twins
were born. Thando kept on farting and blaming it on the beans
he ate in the morning. This is what my life has become,lol.
Thando and Ndabe were fighting over who'll sit next to me and
Nkosi joined in. That's why we ended up sitting on the carpet.
This is when my heart becomes filled with joy,when my family is
happy under one roof. I never really thought I'd have 7 children
but God had other plans. I never got to carry the other two but
they are still mine and mine forever. Today we finally told the
kids about their siblings. When the clock hits 10pm they all
head off to bed. Musa and Ibe are already dead asleep. Even
after this whole day I still feel that heavy feeling in my heart.
Something bad is going to happen. I don't even want to go to
Jamaica anymore
"Sthandwa sami,thandolwami, baba wezingane zami,thank you
for choosing me everyday. I want you to know that I appreciate
all your efforts. You've done your job perfectly as a dad and
husband. You've protected us at all cost and we really
appreciate you. Don't ever stop loving me and our kids. I love
you for you and nothing else. Thank you for everything but
mostly I thank you for giving me such a beautiful family" I say
cupping his face. His arms are around my waist while I'm
leaning on the kitchen island. His body is leaning on mine. He
smiled at me,putting his forehead on mine
"Mam'Sangweni I love you,more than anything in this world.
You have given me the best 15 years of my life. I'll love you
forever sthandwa sami. I'll forever go to the ends of the world
for you and our kids. Don't leave me,okay?" I nod blushing. I
can't believe we've been together for 15 years.
"Guys just kiss already" Snothando says and Ndabe is holding
up his phone. We laugh at them,nosy kids.
100
Thandolwethu's pov:
I wake up panting causing Siyamu to jolt up too "baby,baby look
at me" I look at her with my eyeballs popping out "it's just a bad
dream, I'm here,okay?" she says as if she knew what the dream
was about. She gives me a hug but my heart is still racing.
"Babe I don't remember the dream but you were there and you
were leaving me. Babe,babe, please don't leave me" I stutter.
My alarm rings. I'm supposed to take the kids to Ndabe's soccer
match today
"I won't leave you babe,I'll always be with you" she says giving
me a sad smile. I hug her back, taking my time with the hug.
She's leaving today and I'm going to miss her so much. I stand
up to wake up the kids. Bonginkosi struggles with waking up
and he's the only one who isn't awake now. Snothando is going
with us because she has nothing to do today. I go back to our
room and the bed is neatly. I hear the shower running so I
decided to join her. No words are exchanged but only the sound
of the water hitting our bodies is heard. She scrubs my back and
I scrub hers,just like we always do. After our shower we get
dressed but she picked my outfit as usual. She's wearing black
high waisted jeans with the black crop top from her clothing
line and a black bomber jacket. She also has on her black boots.
No makeup, just her. She looks perfect
"I love you so much" I tell her holding her stomach from behind.
Our connection goes deeper than just having sex now,our souls
seem connected. It sounds cheesy but it's true
"I love you more than you'll ever know" she responds holding
my hands. I lean my head on her shoulder and we just watch
the view through the balcony door for a while
"I don't want you to leave" I break the silence. She heaves a big
sigh
" I know,I don't want to leave either but one of us has to and
they chose me" she says and I bring her closer to me, inhaling
her perfume like it's the last time
"What do you mean by that?" I ask
"You need to stay with our kids. I know you can do it,I trust you.
You're definitely stronger than you think" she responds making
me chuckle. I turn her around and kiss her passionately. I won't
get to kiss her for three months,I'm sure you guys understand.
We make our way downstairs and the kids are eating cereals
"No Ndabe I'm tired" she says before he can say anything. We
all laugh because Ndabe starts sulking. "Look what I got you
guys" she gives the kids key rings
"What are we supposed to do with these?" Nkosi asks
"When you have a car or house" she responds
"I like the message written here" Ndabe says
"Me too" Ibe seconds his statement. She also gives me one.
"To my husband, drive safely because your wife and kids still
need you" I mumble smiling
"I got you something" I say taking it out of my pocket.
Remember that necklace piece I got her for her 23rd
birthday?she said she wanted it renewed so I did just that
"Oh my, thank you sthandwa sami" she says letting me put it
around her neck. She kisses all her kids and tells them that she
has to leave now
"Mom" Ndabe calls out "I love you" what? Siyamu blushes at his
words
"Mxm" I say annoyed. They laugh at me
"I love you too mommy" Nkosi says. Hawu,this child can be
sweet?lol
"Me too mom,I love you"Musa says
"I love you more mommy" Ibenathi follows
"As the first born and the-"
"Oh just tell her you love her" Ndabe complains cutting
Snothando off. I laugh at her reaction
"I love you mom" she says shyly
"I love you too mom" I say making everyone laugh. Her phone
rings disturbing our moment. She takes a brief look at it before
diverting her attention back to us.
"I love you guys too,group hug!" She shouts and we all huddle
up in a hug around her. Her phone rings again "bye guys" she
says to the kids
"Let me walk you out" I say holding her luggage. For someone
who is going away for 3 months she's surely carrying a small
suitcase
"Can I please take your Mercedes to the airport?" she asks
giving me her cute smile
"What's mine is yours hey" I say making her laugh. When we
get to the garage I load her suitcases in the boot. She looks at
me and I look back at her. She jumps into my arms and I hug her
tightly,her perfume smells amazing. I always hug her like it's the
last time but this time it feels different. She's going to be away
for 3 months. I smash my lips on hers and she responds,pushing
her body closer to mine. I break the kiss when it gets too
intense. I look into her beautiful eyes
"I'll never stop loving you" I tell her
"I love you always and forever" she says and I put her down.
She kisses my cheek before driving out. I watch her drive away,
it's not just her,it's my heart she's leaving with. Now I just feel
empty. We go to Ndabe's school for his soccer match. Which
dumb person set a match on a Sunday?that person probably
doesn't worship the lord we serve. I get these four ice-cream
while Ndabe goes to his team. The game starts and
Ndabezinhle is playing midfielder. The triplets are so restless
that it gives me a bad feeling. They've been crying since we got
here. Ibenathi is sleeping in my arms now and she's the most
peaceful one. Snothando is trying to give the other two what
they want on her phone.
The match finally ends at about 3pm. Ndabe's team lost with 2-
1. Hard luck. He's still talking to some girls so I'll just head to the
car. He takes after me ofcourse with the ladies. I strap the
triplets belts and Snothando jumps in the front seat. Ndabe
finally makes his way to the car and we head off to drop
Snothando off at her apartment. I take the kids back home.
Okay,now I think something is seriously going on because
Siyamu hasn't called to say she arrived safely at the airport. I
call the pilot that was supposed to fly her to Jamaica.
"Boss we're still waiting for Mrs Sangweni to arrive" he says
"What!?what do you mean you're still waiting for her?she's
been gone for 2 hours now. Okay,you know what?I'll talk to you
later" I say and end the call. Where could she be? I call her and
it goes straight to voicemail. I try her phone for the 37th time
but it still doesn't go through. She said something about
fetching Tumi and the others will meet her at the airport. I call
Tumi and his phone also sends me to voicemail
"Is everything okay dad?" Ndabe asks me while I pace around
the living room
"Yes" I respond and my phone rings. It's a private number
"Hello?" I answer
"Good afternoon sir,am I speaking to the husband of
Siyamthanda Tshabalala Sangweni?" the male voice on the
other end asks
"Yes,why?"
"Sir I'm sorry to inform you that your wife was involved in a
terrible accident a few hours ago" he says. What?
"Okay, which hospital is she being rushed to?" I ask already
grabbing my car keys
"I'm sorry sir but she died on the spot. We need you to get here
as soon as possible to identify her body" I stop at his words.
This must be a joke because it can't be
"I'm on my way,send me the location" I end the call. My
wife?dead?hayibo she promised me this morning that she
won't leave me
"Dad is it mom?what's going on?" Ndabe asks. I storm out into
my car and the directions lead me to the free way right before
the airport. I park my car behind some truck because traffic is
slow. I run towards the paramedics and the police hold me
down
"Sir you can't go in there!" one of them says
"That's my wife there" I look at my,our car,damaged in the
cruelest way possible
"Name?" another asks me
"Thandolwethu Sangweni" they finally let me go. They lead me
to the officer I was speaking to earlier. He leads me to a white
body bag. I know what I heard but I just wish it isn't her. Not my
precious wife! He opens the body bag and there lies a replica of
Siyamu. This isn't my wife. Her eyes are slightly open,her face is
full of scars and her neck looks bruised. There are pieces of
glass on her face,her outfit has dried out blood. Her hair is a
mess. She lays there staring at nothing. I look at her lifeless
body feeling helpless. How could I let her drive herself?
"Why didn't you save her?" I ask the officer
"When we got here she had already died. It was a little after
1pm. The necklace she was wearing seemingly strangled her
because she died quicker than expected and the male she was
with survived " he says "is this her sir?"
"Yes, it's my wife" I said but I believed none of it. She said she's
going to be fine. How do I look at my kids and tell them that
their mother has died?how do I tell my 6 year olds that I killed
their mother. If I hadn't given her that necklace it wouldn't have
strangled her and she'd still be alive. How will I live without my
other piece?my heart?I feel really empty now
101
Thandolwethu's pov:
The first person I called is her brother, Sbusiso. As much as his
sister was married,she was still his sister. He is coming down to
Durban on Tuesday. I fetched her mother just now and I fetched
my mother. We're headed to my house and the others will meet
us there. Buhle couldn't come because she's not in South Africa
at the moment. The drive back to my house is silent. I haven't
told them what happened but they know that something is
definitely wrong. I park behind Ntokozo's car and make my way
into our house. The atmosphere just suddenly feels different.
I'm welcomed with a wave of cries from the triplets. I rush over
to Musa who's rolling himself on the floor
"Sandiswa what's going on?" I ask her as she hushes Ibenathi
"I don't know bhuti,they've been crying since you left" she
responds. My mom takes Bonginkosi who is now silently crying
"Thandolwethu what is going on?" Siyamu's mother asks
"babies can feel when there is something wrong"
"Sisi we can't find the medicine you want" Ndabe says
appearing along with Ntokozo
"Baba funu' mama (dad I want mom)" Ibenathi shouts. I carry
Ibenathi and Musa to our room. Ndabe follows with Nkosi in his
arms. They go quiet when I put them on the bed. Ibenathi looks
at me with her innocent eyes filled with tears. Musa curls
himself into a ball and Nkosi snuggles into my arms
"Ndabe please give us space"I say and he leaves the room "Ibe,
Musa,Nkosi" I call out and they look at me "mommy is gone
babies"
"Where is she?" Ibenathi asks
"Remember where your grandfather (siyamu's dad) went
to?she went to heaven also to be with her dad" I say and tears
roll down Musa's face
"She isn't coming back?" Nkosi asks
"She left us?" Musa asks
"You won't see her again but she'll always be with you. She
loves you guys and she'll never leave you guys. She's just visiting
heaven for a long time" they start crying all over again. I hug all
of them and hush them until they fall asleep. I lay them on our
bed. Our room still smells like her this morning which makes it
harder to leave and address the whole family down there. I
walk out and in the living room there is Ntokozo, our
mothers,Ndabe, Bayanda and Snothando. I asked him to fetch
her. I called for Sandiswa to come too. I sit down on the one
seater sofa opposite the family portrait we have on the wall
"Thank you all for coming as quick as you did" I look at her face
on the portrait on the wall,asking her silently to give me
strength to tell our family that she's gone "as most of us here
know that Siyamthanda was supposed to be on her way to
Jamaica today. Earlier on I was called and they told me she was
involved in a horrible accident"
"Awu kodwa nkosi yami" her mother says clasping her hands
over her mouth
"Is mom okay?" Snothando asks
"As my family I'll need your help and support. I can't plan her
funeral alone. I need your help" I plead finally looking at them
"Mom is dead!?" Ndabe shouts standing up. He storms out.
Bayanda buried his head in his hands. Siyamu's mom hails out
in a loud cry. Snothando throws herself in her grandmother's
arms. Ntokozo sits there not knowing what to do. I stand up to
go to our room because I can't handle this. I go to my study
instead when I remember how much of her smell remains in
our bedroom. I pour myself some whiskey in a glass. I look at
the picture of her on my desk and touch it slowly
"Why did God choose you out of all the billions of people in this
world?" I whisper but tears don't make their way down my
cheeks. I'm supposed to be feeling sad and hurt but I'm angry
instead. She wasn't supposed to die. I drink my whiskey.
Bayanda barges in and throws himself on my couch. He looks at
me with tears in his eyes
"Bhuti am I weak for crying?" he asks me
"No,Bayanda you can't beat yourself up for crying. It doesn't
make you less of a man but you're showing that you're human
and you have feelings" he buries his face in his hands,muffling
his cries
"I just can't fathom all of this in a day. We won't ever get to see
her smile and hear her dad jokes. Who will call me Yanda
now?she..." he pauses and sniffs "she became my best friend
without even noticing and I wish I had told her how much she
meant to me before she died" I keep quiet because what could I
say?he's venting because he's hurt
"I'm sorry Bayanda. Let's just focus on giving her the best
possible send off. Something she would have wanted" I stand
up "I'm going to the place she wanted to be buried at to make
reservations"
"Thando we haven't talked about anything,as a family, we're
here to support you man. You can't do this alone" he responds
"Since today is Sunday, surely she'll be buried this coming
Saturday" I say
"Atleast talk about it with mom" he says and I nod. I walk out
still. I pass mom in the kitchen and she shouts for me but I
ignore her. I just need to be out of here. I drive to Lunga's house
and most of the gents are already there. The people I left back
home keep calling me but I just switched off my phone. I walk in
and there is Lunga,Zakhe,Qiniso, Thapelo,Khosi,Okuhle and
Mandla,my brother. I sit down and we greet each other and
they seem happy,I guess
"What is this sudden meeting about?" Thapelo asks laughing
"Better not be because Siyamu gave away your 12k belt
because she said you were wasting money" Lunga says and they
laugh but I don't find anything funny
"Lunga this is serious and you're here making jokes?do you see
me laughing?" I ask annoyed and everyone goes quiet
"Man I really didn't-"
"I don't need your explanation,I've already got a lot on my
plate" I cut him off
"Dude don't take out your anger on me" he stands up and I
stand up too
"Majitha woah,don't fight over something so stupid" Thapelo
intervenes
"Ahy he mustn't-"
"I came here to tell you that Siyamthanda was involved in a car
accident today and she died!" I cut him off shouting. It all goes
quiet again and I hear some gasps
"Thando are you serious?" Okuhle asks
"Seems like nobody here cares so I'll forward her funeral details
on the group. Whoever wants me will find me at my house. All
of you have my address" I say and walk out the door. Lunga
annoys the shit out of me sometimes. I drive to Sphatho's
apartment and get him to draft me all the necessary
documents,like the death certificate. I go to the funeral parlour
to inform them about Siyamu's death and the date we will bury
her on
"No wait,let me count,today is Sunday,the 12. On Saturday it's
the 18th of November?it can't be" I say to myself
"Sir you really need to decide,there are people waiting behind
you" the lady says fixing her weave
"Girl you don't get paid to tell me what to do,you hear me?I can
get you fired and you'll never be able to find a job in South
Africa ever again if you don't shut that smart mouth of yours" I
warn and she nods. I think for a while "yes she'll be buried this
coming Saturday,on the 18th of November" she writes
something down and I tell her where she will be buried at what
time. I don't need anyone else's input on how my wife will be
buried. I knew her better than anyone else. I leave after
finalizing everything,the only thing that's left now is the death
certificate. I drive back home and Mandla's car is parked here
along with Thapelo's car. I take out my phone and switch it on. I
ignore the thousands of missed calls that flood in. I look at my
key ring 'to my husband,drive safe because your wife and kids
still need you'. I search for her album in my gallery and look at
her pictures and videos for a while. She was one happy soul. I
leave my car in the driveway and walk inside. I go to the lounge
and my mom is the first to stand up
"Thandolwethu we've been trying to get ahold of you" she says
"I'm aware" I reply. I scan the room and it's full of my friends
and family
"Sit down" she commands and I sit down next to Thapelo on
one of the two seater couches.
"Thando I came here to apologize for not taking you seriously
and not listening to you when you called that meeting. As your
friend,I was supposed to be concerned when you came in
looking disturbed instead of making jokes" Lunga speaks staring
at his hands
"And we're here to tell you that we'll be here with you all the
way. Anything you need we'll be here to help. We're your
friends" Thapelo adds
"Siyamu's funeral will be held here on Saturday,the 18th, at 9am
till 11am and then she will be buried at Eastwood Cemetery" I
tell them and I hear a few gasps
"Thando you can't make that decision alone" mom scolds
"That is just pure disrespect boy" Siyamu's mother shouts
"Well it's already done"
"Mom he's drunk" Ntokozo chips in
"What?I haven't had a sip of alcohol" I defend and Bayanda
stands up,walking towards me
"We're taking you to bed" he says holding my arms. I don't even
fight it anymore
"Mom wouldn't have done this" I hear Ndabe say as I leave the
lounge with Bayanda. Maybe I should have died. The kids
wouldn't be so devastated. I want to die so bad. Why can't God
take me instead? I can't do this without her.
102
Thandolwethu's pov:
I open my eyes to an empty bed. I think this is the hardest part
of every day,having to wake up alone when you're so used to
waking up and staring at her pretty ass face. I clap my hands
and the curtains automatically open. The sky is dark but it
hasn't shed a single drop of rain. I stare at the view of the other
houses in the area and plots of land in the further areas. My
body is stiff from all the whiskey I've been drinking this week.
It's finally Friday and tomorrow we're going to say goodbye to
the love of my life. I still can't believe this, she's gone,just like
that? My phone rings and at first I ignore it, thinking it's those
nosy journalists but I end up answering. It's the hospital
"Mr Sangweni" he says
"Yeah dude,so?you got anything for me?" I ask him and he
sighs. I know dealing with cases of someone you know is hard
but can't he just spit it out?
"The autopsy report came back and we found a drug called
Gamma-hydroxybutyrate,also known as GHB in her system. It is
a drug used to cure sleeping disorders so when you take it,it
causes drowsiness and it can even lead you into an instant
coma if taken with alcohol in your system" he says a mouthful.
This is so much to take in. Why would Siyamu do drugs?
"And the guy she was with?" I ask. Tumi died yesterday in a
coma. He hadn't woken up to tell us what really happened
because their accident was a head on collision. They collided
with a car going the opposite direction but luckily the person in
the other vehicle has minor injuries
"I found the same drug in his system and it was on the top of his
lips meaning he inhaled it" he says
"My wife would never eat drugs" I defend
"I'm not saying she did. Thando don't take this lightly,it might
be more than what meets the eye. It might have not been just
an accident" he ends the call after saying that,leaving me in a
clutter of confusion. This call was enough motivation to get me
out of bed. I open the window because our bedroom smells like
a brewery. I gulp down a glass of whiskey before going to
freshen up. I wear Nike tracksuits and some sneakers. I gulp
down another glass of whiskey before putting on her perfume.
That's what I've been doing everyday since I learnt about her
death. It just makes me feel closer to her in some way. I gulp
down another glass of whiskey and walk out. The house is busy
with family members arriving and guests coming to wish us
their condolences.
"Thando" mom calls out as I pass the kitchen. There are a lot of
my aunt's here. I look at her
"You have to eat, please" she says
"I'm fine" I say attempting to walk away but she holds my hand
"You smell of a brewery,now eat your damn food and look
presentable to our guests" she says in-between gritted teeth
"This is just pure disrespect,this boy is disrespecting the
memory of my daughter" I hear Siyamu's mother say. Before
anyone could say anything else my phone rings. It's the gent
from the place I wanted to get the car Siyamu was in fixed. I
walk out,not looking at anybody because their eyes of pity will
make me angry
"Don't tell me it's unrepairable!I don't pay you to do that!" I
shout as soon as I'm outside
"Hade bhozza,akusiyo leyo ijayvi vandag. Ehy bhozza bengithi
daar kwi engine,mangithi nhla lapha kwi venting system,yabo le
yama aircon bhozza yami?ngathola istash se stoko ene lesa
stoko ngyasazi ngoba ngangisibhema daar op die straat
ngenkathi ngiyi kind ngiphuma ejele. Ile stuff esibhizayo sama
Italian. (Sorry boss,that's not the problem today. Boss I was
looking at the engine,then I saw something in the venting
system,you know the one that deals with the air-conditioning
system boss?I found loads of drugs and I know those type of
drugs because I used to smoke them on the streets back when I
was a kid out of jail. It's the expensive stuff that is sold by the
Italians)" that boy tells me. What?
"Awucavi kuthi bekungayenzeka njani into enje?(don't you
know how something like this could happen?)"
"Someone messed with your car bhozza yami and stashed drugs
there so whoever had access to the aircon that day inhaled
those drugs" a white sounding voice says. It must be one of the
others. I don't know all of them
"Dude but my car was at-" I stop shouting mid-sentence when I
realise that my car wasn't at home the day before "my car went
for its annual service the day before the accident" I say softly
because it all makes sense now "someone killed my wife,she
didn't just die! Damnit! Fuck" I scream
"You've got your answers boss. We'll talk later" nyoape boy says
and I end the call.
"Dad,ugogo said she wants you inside" Ndabe says behind me
"Shut up Ndabezinhle!you're stressing me out while I'm already
stressed" I shout at him
"What did I do?I'm just passing on a message" he shouts back
"Get the fuck out of my face" I shout back and Ntokozo and
Bayanda come running
"This is why I wish you died instead of mom!" he shouts back
and the world stops for a while. I grab his t-shirt and he grabs
my tracksuit
"Angithi usuyi ndoda wena?hamba ulandele unyoko! Uphume
uphele emzini wami! (You're a man,right?follow your mother.
Get out of my house!)" I shout at him and Ntokozo tries to
break us up. He succeeded because Bayanda is holding me back
"Are you okay bro?" Snothando asks scanning her brother "you
were right,mom wouldn't have done this" she mumbles loud
enough for everyone to hear
"Oh fuck you child" I say and a hand comes in contact with my
cheek making it burn. I look at my mom in shock
"Uyahlanya ekhanda?are you crazy?Thando we are all grieving
and we are all trying to be here for you but you make it so
damn hard cause you're always so damn angry" she shouts at
me. My aunt's are now standing at the door but I couldn't care
less
"Oh so all of you here care? You see this?is all just pretence" I
point at them " I know I haven't been the best father or son or
brother this week but am I not human?mom do I not have
feelings?you only care about how much I've eaten and how
presentable I look to the guests! None of you here have asked
me how I feel about my wife's death!my wife! This is why I
loved her more than anyone on this earth. She wouldn't have
done this. She wouldn't have pushed my feelings aside just
because we have a funeral to plan. I don't even want to start
with you,Ndabe and Snothando. I expected better from you.
Why can't everyone just be like Siyamu?she would be saying
"Thandolwethu it's okay to be angry but don't be angry at the
wrong people" because she always knew what to say but who
am I to speak?I'm the drunkard of a father right?I'm going to
see my wife,don't follow me,don't call me, everyone just leave
me alone. I'm going to the only person who ever cared about
me" with that said I walk back into the house,pushing the nosy
aunt's from the door to go get my keys. I take the keys to her
Range Rover instead. They watch me drive out,still in the same
positions as before. Ndabe now has tears on his face but I don't
care. I knew he loved her more than me but it hurts to be told
you're the one that was supposed to die when you really were. I
call Sphatho on the way. That day she took my car so whoever
did this wanted me. She should still be alive,not in that cold
place turning pale. I should have been there,not her. This car
smells of her so much and our USB is connected and I listen to
our favourite songs all the way to the mortuary
"Sir you've been washing her body everyday for the past 5 days.
You knows she's dead right?and she won't smell?" that ugly
lady says. She's so ugly that I don't get why she had to be
female. I'm sure God was drowsy here
"Better lose that smart mouth or else you'll lose the money I'm
paying you" I warn and she closes her mouth. I take the sponge
and the warm water with some bathing oils and soak the
sponge inside. As long as I can see her and touch her,I will take
care of her. I promised her that. The love of my life.
103
Thandolwethu's pov:
"I'm not an expert in these things but I've worked here for so
many years that I could tell the difference. The way it looks to
me,your wife died peacefully. She looks like she had already
accepted her death" a female voice says behind me. I don't dare
look back
"I know you don't believe me but look at how chubby she is.
She doesn't look like someone who's life was sucked out of
them" she says again and I finally look back to see an old
woman dressed in a black dress
"Sorry ma'am but how my wife died is none of your business" I
respond and she raised her hands up in surrender. I continue
scrubbing her body gently. Her tattoo has turned a
purple/greenish colour and it looks as if it's fading away. Her
body is cold and heavier than before.
"Mama wase khaya,mphathi weh nhliziyo yami,sdudla sami,
maka Ndabe,sthandwa sami. Today is your last day here,in the
evening you'll be taken to your house,which you made a home
for us. You will spend the night there and you will leave in the
morning. To your last resting place. Siyamthanda,mfazi
wami,ngikuthandile kodwa mama lami,yini le engaka
engiyenzile kuthi ungishiye?(what have I done that is so bad for
you to leave me?) I miss you so much, everyone is just against
me. Please wake up and tell me all of this is a joke" I watch her
attentively to guard any movement,but there is none. I lotion
her body and dress her in a black and white polka dot dress
with some socks incase she gets cold. I also put on her sneakers.
She can't arrive in heaven barefoot. I wrap a doek around her
head and moisturise her lips. I kiss her forehead before going to
her cold lips. I called the lady that I bribed and told her to get
her ready to go home and I left. I went back home and the
traffic in the house is worse than I when I had left. I got a call
from Mrs Carter telling me that she has landed in South Africa
"Dad,mom's lawyer is here for you" Ndabe says and he leads
the way to the lounge. I greet him and he asks for all the kids. I
lead everyone to my study since it's quieter there. All my five
kids take a seat on the couch while the lawyer sits opposite me
on the desk.
"Good afternoon everyone,as you all know,I am your mother's
lawyer and she had asked me to read her last will to her family
the day before her funeral. The last will of Siyamthanda
Mawande S'bongokuhle Sangweni. She said her house remains
with her spouse and if the spouse shall be deceased it shall be
made a family home. All her vehicles must be shared equally
among all her children. If her spouse is deceased then all her
children will receive a sum of 300 million rands of her
investments and if the spouse is still alive then the children
could only get access to their money once they have graduated
in University or any other institution higher than high school,
otherwise they will not receive their share. Her spouse is left
with 500 million from her investments to take care of their
home and raise their children accordingly. If the spouse is
deceased then the money should be given to the children's
guardians ,Bayanda Sangweni and Buhlebendalo Majozi. All of
her assets remain with her family and should not be sold. She
requested that the rest of her money be invested in different
children's homes and orphanages in South Africa. She had
asked me to play this for her children" he ends off giving me a
USB stick "and this one is for her husband" he gives me another
one. I accept it and thank him. Snothando then accompanies
him out.
"You could go watch it in my room" I tell the kids and Ndabe
stands up and drags the triplets out. I walk into the room in my
study,it's just an empty room that has a bed,sofa and a tv
mounted to the wall. I sit on top of the bed with my laptop and
connect the USB. I'm pretty anxious of what I'm going to find
here,I might be doing everything wrong,the way she didn't want
it.
"Sthandwa sami,I'm so sorry. I'm sorry you have to go through
this" she apologizes and pauses for a second
"Baby don't apologize" I say as I feel tears well in my eyes
"I love you so much and I know you love me too so please,I ask
one thing of you when I'm no longer there,take care of our kids
and our home. Please respect me and the house you built for
me. Don't be mad at everyone Thandolwami,it's not their fault
that" I pause the video because I'm blinded by tears,I choke on
my saliva and cough,but a cough turns into a soft sob. For the
first time since Sunday everything registers,she's actually
gone,she's never going to hold me again and scold me for not
putting my dirty clothes in the laundry room. She's gone,she's
never going to laugh and snort in between. Her smile will now
remain a memory in my head. I cry,I let the tears run down my
cheeks as my heart aches for the love we once had. I cry for all
the times I've hurt her feelings and made her cry. I cry for
pursuing her and making her mine. I don't regret meeting her or
loving her but I regret the life I introduced her to,she had to
choose and I made her choose me. If I wasn't selfish,she
wouldn't be dead right now
"I died. Don't be mad at anyone,not God,not your mom,not
yourself. Baby learn to accept my faith,let yourself grieve and
feel the pain. Don't feel as if you are not important enough,go
to therapy if needs be. You are young,let go of me at some
point and receive new love in your life. Maybe we weren't
meant to be" she smiles sadly on the screen. I pause again but
now I feel rage and anger
"How could you say that?we were meant to be!don't talk
nonsense Siyamthanda" I shout and tears continue to flow
down my cheeks "don't make me mad wena!" I stand up and
kick the door. A big hole forms on the middle of the door. I try
to calm myself down with some brandy and it works for me
because my breathing evens out. I press play
"Baby move on,life won't stop moving just because you're
hurting,but also, don't be harsh to yourself. Love our kids as
much as you loved me and them before. I love you,don't use
alcohol as leverage to numb the pain. Heal-" I close my laptop
because I cannot take this pain. Hearing her voice and seeing
her face again evokes hidden emotions. I cry till there are no
more tears anymore. My phone keeps ringing but I really don't
have time for anyone right now. I get up and leave my study. I'm
praying,hoping,praying that I don't bump into anyone as I rush
to wash my face. Luck is on my side today because I really don't
bump into anyone. I wash my face and brush my teeth. I answer
my ringing phone and it was the mortuary telling me that the
hearse is right outside. I walk to the kitchen to tell mom to get
ready. I go outside and,Bayanda and Ntokozo are already talking
to the man who's driving the hearse. I greet and the white
coffin aligned with a gold design shines itself into view. Thapelo
taps my back before taking her favorite blanket and putting it
on top of the coffin. Thapelo,Bayanda,Lunga and I carry the
coffin into the house,to the lounge where everything has been
removed and a mattress has been put on the floor. A few chairs
for the elderly have been put next to it. A picture of her smiling
is out on a stand next to her coffin. The ladies in the room are
singing a hymn from church. It's her close
friends,sisters,cousins,brother and mother. My
mother,Snothando and the triplets are sitting on the mattress.
The triplets don't want to be seperated from their grandmother.
I open the top part of her coffin and her face is still the same as
I had left it. A white cloth is covering her body to her neck,her
body wasn't in a good state to be seen by her children. All you
see now are the scars on her face,stating that she died
tragically. My mother leads a prayer and Bayanda tells everyone
the necessities and then they vacate the room. I close the coffin
and kiss my mother's cheek's along with the triplets.
"I didn't get a chance to say I'm sorry son" she speaks holding
my cheek
"You don't have to apologize ma,I was also wrong and I'm sorry"
I respond to her. I feel really bad about how I talked to my
mother earlier on,the woman that taught me nothing but
respect. She was only looking out for me
"My baby I get it,you're hurting,I know how you feel and it's
okay to feel that way. Just make sure you don't push people
away in the process" she says and I wipe a tear from her eye
"Dad I'm also sorry for how I spoke to you and disrespecting you
in front of my siblings. I promise it will never happen again"
princess confesses an apology
"Dad" Ndabe breathes out. I can tell this is hard for him "I'm
sorry for fighting with you and blaming you. I was wrong to
blame you but that's just grief. I promise to help you take care
of our family since mom is gone"
"Kids,I hear your apologies,and I accept them with a clean
heart. It is my duty to make sure that you guys are alright at all
times so no need to help me. I'll make sure you guys are taken
care of at all times" Ndabe attacks me with a hug. This is hard
for him as it is for me,him and his mother were best friends. He
muffled a cry with my shoulder. I hug him back without saying
anything,sometimes you just need to be held,without being
told you'll be okay or whatever,you just need them to show you
that they are there with a hug. I sooth his back and Snothando
lays her head on her grandmother's shoulder
When Ndabe falls asleep I take him to his room and people
have vacated the house since it's a little late now. I go back to
the lounge to bid goodnight to everyone and the triplets are
already fast asleep on their own mattresses,talk about kids who
get what they want. I kiss the coffin before going to my room. I
throw myself on the bed and sigh. What if I was the one who
died in that car? Would she also be in so much pain?or would
she have handled it better? Was she going to cry? She was
always stronger than I am emotionally,always knew what to do
and say. Would she have moved on if I died?fuck it,I'm
overthinking
I open my eyes and she smiles at me,she's wearing her polka
dot dress,the one I picked out for her and her sneakers and the
doek on her head. Her body looked hurt in a way,like she was
beaten to a pulp
"You're finally awake" she spoke and her voice was still music to
my ears. I tried to touch her but my body felt stiff and I couldn't
even open my mouth to respond to her. She stretched out her
arm to touch my face and I couldn't feel it but I could see her
rubbing my cheek. "I came to say goodbye. I don't have much
time because I have to see the kids too before I leave" she
smiled at me and fixed her dress. "Take care of yourself and my
kids. Thank you for the beautiful family and life you gave me. I
love you always" she kisses my lips and walks towards the door.
She smiles for the last time before walking through the door.
Epilogue
Thandolwethu's pov:
I hate it here. I hate the dark place I'm in. I still haven't found
the person who did this to my wife and I'm dying inside because
of that. Whoever they are,they have to suffer. A pair of small
hands bring me back to reality.
"Daddy,this lady is talking to you" Ibenathi says pointing to Mrs
Carter who was standing in front of us. I remove Ibenathi from
my lap and stand up to greet her.
"I'm so glad you could make it" I say shaking her hand and she
smiles at me. I fix my shades,I don't want people seeing that
I've been crying
"I wouldn't have missed it for anything,we were low key
friends" she says making me chuckle and she giggles
"She wouldn't have said the same,she thought she wasn't good
enough to be your friend" we were in the marquee set outside
our home,where her service will be held. Everyone was waiting
for the pastor now and I was sitting on the white couches at the
front with all the family members. Her coffin will be brought in
when the pastor is here.
"Oh my god,Beyoncé,oh my good lord" Nelisiwe shouts "can I
please have a picture"
"Nelisiwe! This is not your father's tavern. It is my wife's funeral
so please keep your crazy tactics to yourself. Now scatter" I say
sternly and she turns back after clicking her tongue
"I'm sorry about that" I say and she smiles
"Don't worry about it,let me go sit down,looks like the service is
getting started" she responds and pats my back. How Siyamu
met up with Beyoncé more than three times is a story for
another day. The pastor makes his way in and everyone stands.
The coffin is rolled in after him by Bayanda and Lunga. She was
right,I've really been mad at the wrong people the whole time.
The service starts. Siyamu's mother keeps giving me ugly looks.
I know. I killed her.
"We would like her eldest children,Snothando and Ndabezinhle
to come up to the front and read her obituary" the Dj plays a
soft song on the piano. Snothando and Ndabe stand up,hand in
hand,as weird as it sounds,I think Siyamthanda's death has
brought us closer together.
"Obituary of Siyamthanda Mawande Sbongokuhle Sangweni"
Snothando breathes out "Siyamthanda was born on the 18th of
November in the year-"
"Daddy" Ibenathi calls out and I look at her "I love you" she says
before closing her eyes to sleep again. My little prized jewel. My
heart warms at her words. I stand up to go into the house to
relieve myself. I give Ibenathi to my mom and rush into the
house. I don't want to miss anything. I use the bathroom in my
room because I'm not about to use the ones outside,yes they
are VIP portable toilets,but still no. I do what I'm here to do,take
a breather,wash my hands and the walk out. I close the door to
my bedroom and punch in the code
"I'm sorry for your loss" a voice says behind me. It's been so
long since I heard that voice. I turn around and she wraps her
arms around my neck and kisses the shit out of me. I push her
away
"What the hell are you doing?you crazy slut" I scold her. She
gives me a confused look
"I thought that now she's out of the way we could be together
happily ever after with our child,not her spoilt brats" she says
folding her arms in front of her chest
"You're really crazy huh?just by being Snothando's mother you
suddenly think you're my side piece?" she tries to kiss me again
but my hand slips and the sound of a slap fills the passage.
"You hit me?" she exclaims
"And I'd gladly do it again if you keep up with your nonsense" I
push her aside, making her fall over her feet and land on her
buttocks. I leave her upstairs and walk back to the marquee.
"She is survived by her seven children,two of which are with her
wherever she may
be,Snothando,Ndabezinhle,Ibenathi,Musawenkosi and
Bonginkosi, and her husband,Thandolwethu. Thank you"
Ndabezinhle reads the rest of the obituary and sniffs
"We would like to call up her husband to read the eulogy he
wrote for her" the pastor says and I stand up from my chair.
Bayanda walks to the front with me. I hear some whispers and
gasps. I know the spouse of the deceased is not supposed to
put themselves out there because apparently it's bad luck but I
don't care,this is my wife and I will talk about her on her resting
day. I take out the speech from my tuxedo pocket
"I bet all of you knew what type of a woman she was,and if you
didn't,just ask yourself why this marquee is so full,full of
extravagant people" I breathe as a tear makes its way out
"Siyamthanda was loved by everyone and she loved everyone
back,that is why her name suited her so well. I've always done
speeches about her,whether it be at our wedding,her events
,birthdays and anniversaries but never would I have thought
that one day I'd be speaking about her without her there to
listen" another tears rolls down and I wipe it with my
handkerchief under my shades. I feel my heart clench as I think
of the dream that I had this morning,it felt so real yet it also felt
like a dream. I try to stop the tears but they carry on flowing
until I take my shades off and Bayanda pulls me into a bro hug.
He continues to read the small note I had written
"I haven't got much to say but I hope this little video I have put
together and the lyrics of the songs you'll be hearing speaks
many words I can't utter. Ulale ngoxolo sthandwa sami,sizohlale
sikuthanda (rest in peace my love,we will always love you)" he
says and pats my back as we walk together down the stage. I
never really thought I'd cry in front of a crowd. I sit down and
Beyoncé makes her way to stage.
"We found a lead but it's a dead end. The cameras at the car
repair shop don't show the guy's face" Thapelo whispers into
my ear. I nod,I just want to give my wife a dignified funeral
without any drama. Beyoncé starts singing her song 'Heaven'
and a photo of the day Siyamu was born projects itself on the
big screen in front of us. A timeline of her pictures and video's
starts. From primary,to high school,to varsity and so on. When
she is done she starts singing another song of hers, 'I was here' -
and I thought this was the best song to describe my wife. She
left a mark everywhere she went and I know for a fact she will
be remembered for a long time. The slideshow stops for a while
as Lloyiso takes to stage. He sings his song 'If I die young'. My
mother holds me as I cry uncontrollably. She's leaving me
I watch as the coffin goes down slowly,along with my heart. If
there is anything I've learnt in this lifetime,it is that, nothing is
ours to keep but the memories we create. When I was younger
all that mattered to me was money and now I realize that if
Siyamu didn't come into my life,I'd either be HIV/AIDs positive
or I would have died lonely and left all this money for nobody
but the government. What God gives,he can take and now he
has taken back one of his most precious angels. I understand
that I have lost a wife and kids but I have gained angels from
them,they will protect me and the rest of my children. Happy
birthday Thandolwami,you better be eating chocolate cake in
heaven.
We(family and friends) all stand up to get a dove each.
"Farewell Dj Siyamu" we all shout letting the doves fly away. I'm
not just letting the doves fly away,but I'm letting the love of my
life free from the cruelty of this world we live in. I'm letting her
go to a better place. I join the men who have shovels in their
hands
"Sir you'll get dirty" one of them says. I chuckle
"We're burying my wife,I think it's only right that I pour some
sand on her" I respond and we started picking the sand and
putting it in the hole. We did that till the hole was full. Bayanda
then put a temporary tombstone in front of her grave
"She's safe now brother" he patted my shoulder and we walked
back to the cars behind all the people that attended her funeral.
The kids weren't supposed to be at the graveyard but I wanted
them to see where we are leaving their mother. On our way to
my car,something really disgusting catches my eye.
"Thando uya waar?(where are you going?)"Bayanda asks
trodging behind me as I walk as fast as I can to him
"What the hell are you doing here?" I greet him with a punch.
His guards hold me back and mine take me away from them
"She was my first love,I deserve to be here" he responds
holding his jaw
"And as her last love and husband I say get the fuck out of here"
he chuckles bitterly

"I set that trap for you,your car,you were supposed to die that
day bitch but you just had to give her your car" I look at
Snothando in disbelief,this man is married but he is still
obsessed with my wife

"You killed her" I exclaim and Bayanda holds me. I'm grateful for
a brother like him,always there for me

"No! you killed her when you let her drive a car that was meant
to kill you! She would still be alive and crying in my arms but at
least now we both don't have her" I slip through my guards grip
and charge for him. He falls on his back and I punch him
endlessly
"Thando you'll kill him! Don't do this" I watch as his eyes roll to
the back of his head while I tighten my grip on his neck.
Bayanda tried to loosen it and I leave him. He coughs out
blood,smiling
"Death is too easy for him,I'll get you motherfucker" I tell him
with one last punch. Siyamthanda deserved better than this.
...............................................The End....................................

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