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PREFACE

Accounting is, at its core, an information discipline. In essence, accounting is a set


of inter-related components (system) that capture, aggregate and transform data about
economic events into a meaningful context (information), which is presented to deci-
sion makers for consideration and action. Now more than ever, information technolo-
gies affect every aspect of accounting, from what data are captured (social media, blogs,
sensor data), how data are captured (RFID tagging), where data are stored (cloud
based databases), and how data and information are analyzed and presented (data
visualization). As technologies advance, so does the accounting profession.
Because most business processes rely heavily on information technology, account-
ing professionals must understand how people, processes and technologies interact to
transform data into decision-useful information, and also how to develop and evaluate
internal controls. Business and auditing failures continue to force the profession to
emphasize internal controls and to rethink the state of assurance services. As a result,
the subject of accounting information systems (AIS) continues to be a vital component
of the accounting profession.
The purpose of this book is to help students understand basic AIS concepts. Exactly
what comprises these AIS concepts is subject to some interpretation, and it is certainly
changing over time, but most accounting professionals believe that basic AIS concepts
consist of the knowledge that accountants need for understanding and using informa-
tion technologies and for knowing how an accounting information system gathers and
transforms data into useful decision-making information. In this edition of our text-
k k
book, we include the core concepts of Accounting Information Systems. The book is
flexible enough that instructors may choose to cover the chapters in any order.

ACCOUNTING INFORMATION SYSTEMS


COURSE CONTENT AREA COVERAGE
AIS Applications 5, 8, 9
IT Auditing 4, 10, 11
Database Concepts 14, 15, 16
Internal Control 6, 7
Management of Information Systems 3, 12, 13
Management Use of Information 1, 2, 4, 8, 9, 12, 15
Systems Development Work 12, 13
Technology of Information Systems All chapters

About This Book

The content of AIS courses varies widely from school to school. Some schools use their
AIS courses to teach accounting students how to use computers. In other colleges and
universities, the course focuses on business processes and data modeling. Yet other
courses emphasize transaction processing and accounting as a communication system
that has little to do with the technical aspects of how systems gather, process, or store
underlying accounting data.

vii

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viii Preface

Given the variety of objectives for an AIS course and the different ways that instruc-
tors teach it, we developed a textbook that attempts to cover the core concepts of
AIS. In writing the text, we assumed that students have completed basic courses in
financial and managerial accounting and have a basic knowledge of computer hard-
ware and software concepts. The text is designed for a one-semester course in AIS and
may be used at the community college, baccalaureate, or graduate level.
Our hope is that individual instructors will use this book as a foundation for an AIS
course, building upon it to meet their individual course objectives. Thus, we expect that
many instructors will supplement this textbook with other books, cases, software, or
readings. The arrangement and content of the chapters permits flexibility in covering
subject materials and allows instructors to omit chapters that students have covered in
prior courses.

Special Features

This edition of our book uses a large number of special features to enhance the cov-
erage of chapter material as well as to help students understand chapter concepts.
Thus, each chapter begins with a list of learning objectives that emphasize the impor-
tant subject matter of the chapter. This edition of the book also includes many new
real world Cases-in-Point, which we include to illustrate a particular concept or proce-
dure. Each chapter also includes a more-detailed real-world case as an end-of-chapter
AlS-at-Work feature.
k Each chapter ends with a summary and a list of key terms. To help students under- k
stand the material, each chapter includes multiple-choice questions for self-review with
answers. There are also three types of end-of-chapter exercises: (1) discussion ques-
tions, (2) problems, and (3) case analyses. This wide variety of review material enables
students to examine many different aspects of each chapter’s subject matter and also
enables instructors to vary the exercises they use each semester.
The end-of-chapter materials include references and other resources that allow
interested students to explore the chapter material in greater depth. In addition, instruc-
tors may wish to assign one or a number of articles listed in each chapter refer-
ence section to supplement chapter discussions. These articles are also an important
resource for instructors to encourage students to begin reading such professional jour-
nals as Strategic Finance, The Journal of Accountancy, and The Internal Auditor.

Supplements

There are a number of supplements that accompany this textbook. One is an instruc-
tor’s manual containing suggested answers to the end-of-chapter discussion questions,
problems, and case analyses. There is also a test bank consisting of true-false, multiple
choice, and matching-type questions, as well as short answer problems and fill-in-
the-blank questions, so that instructors have a wide variety of choices. In addition,
PowerPoint lecture slides accompany the text, and all of these materials can be accessed
from the book’s companion website at www.wiley.com/college/simkin.

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Preface ix

What’s New in the Fourteenth Edition?

This edition of our book includes a number of changes from prior editions.

• The book is now organized into three units:


• Technology and Accounting in the 21st Century: chapters discuss the transfor-
mative changes that AISs have facilitated to the practice of accounting, such as
changes to the profession, the systems that capture financial and non-financial
data for decision-making purposes, and the direction of AISs in general;
• Managing and Controlling Business Processes with AISs: chapters cover the var-
ious control frameworks, risks and means of implementing internal controls in
AISs, as well as the business processes that give rise to financial and non-financial
data; and
• Designing and Implementing AISs: chapters cover the development of AISs and
databases that support modern AISs.
• A new chapter (Accounting, Big Data and Data Analytics) discusses the nature of
Big Data, the data analysis process, and data analytics trends in managerial account-
ing, tax accounting, and assurance and compliance services.
• The book offers expanded and revised coverage of important topics, such as
cloud computing, cyber-security, and COSO’s pending update to the Enterprise
Risk Management-Integrated Framework, as well as updated information on AIS
selection, accounting and fraud, e-commerce, ransomware and other threats.
k • Database examples and references have been updated to Microsoft Access 2016. k
• Updated Case-in-Points illustrate the concepts discussed in the textbook and give
students a better grasp of the material, while revised end-of-chapter AIS at Work
features help students better understand the impact of systems in a wide variety of
contexts.
• Revised discussion questions, problems, and cases at the end of chapters give instruc-
tors more choices of comprehensive assignments for students.
• Revised Test Yourself multiple choice questions help students assess their under-
standing of the chapter material.
• The end of the book contains an updated glossary of AIS terms.

Acknowledgements

We wish to thank the many people who helped us during the writing, editing, and
production of our textbook. Our families and friends are first on our list of acknowl-
edgments. We are grateful to them for their patience and understanding as we were
revising this textbook. Next, we thank those instructors who read earlier drafts of
this edition of our textbook and provided enormously valuable ideas and suggestions
to improve the final version. Chief among these is Timothy L. Baker, University of
South Carolina Aiken, who was invaluable in improving the quality and content for
chapters 4, 6, 7, 10, and 11, as well as providing timely feedback on many others.

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x Preface

We would also like to acknowledge the timely assistance of Paul M. Di Gangi, Univer-
sity of Alabama at Birmingham, who stepped in on short notice to provide technical
assistance and review on chapters 14 through 16.
In addition, we are indebted to the many adopters of our book who frequently
provide us with feedback. We’d also like to thank the following people who provided
feedback for the Fourteenth Edition:

Timothy L. Baker, University of South Carolina, Aiken


Michael Campbell, Montana State University Billings
Deborah L, Habel, Wayne State University
Steven Johnson, Minnesota State University, Mankato
Lois Mahoney, Eastern Michigan University
Christine Schalow, University of Wisconsin-Stevens Point

We sincerely appreciate the efforts of three additional individuals who helped us in


various stages of this book: Ms. Emily Marcoux, Ms. Annie Sophia Thapasumony, and
Ms. Paula Funkhouser. Emily was our primary contact with our production contractor.
Annie was our Production Editor and worked to keep us on schedule and shepherd
us through the production process. Finally, Paula helped us with our supplementary
materials on this and several previous editions.
Lastly we thank our many students for the insightful feedback and useful sugges-
tions. Your input has greatly improved the quality of this edition!

Mark G. Simkin
k James L. Worrell k
Arline A. Savage

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CONTENTS
CHAPTER 1 Accounting Information Systems and the Security/ 53
Accountant/ 1 Spam, Phishing, Spoofing, and Ransomware/ 53
1.1 Introduction: Why Study Accounting Information Firewalls, Intrusion Detection Systems,
Systems?/ 1 Value-Added Networks, and Proxy Servers/ 54
1.2 Careers in Accounting Information Systems/ 2 Data Encryption/ 57
Traditional Accounting Career Opportunities/ 2 Digital Signatures and Digital Time
Systems Consulting/ 2 Stamping/ 58
Fraud Examiner or Forensic Accountant/ 3
Information Technology Auditing and Security/ 4 CHAPTER 3 Information Technology and AISs/ 69
Predictive Analytics/ 5 3.1 Introduction/ 69
1.3 Accounting and IT/ 6 3.2 The Importance of Information Technology to
Financial Accounting/ 6 Accountants/ 70
Managerial Accounting/ 9 Six Reasons/ 70
Auditing/ 12 The Top 10 Information Technologies/ 71
Taxation/ 14 3.3 Input, Processing, and Output Devices/ 72
1.4 What Are Accounting Information Systems?/ 14 Input Devices/ 72
Accounting Information Systems/ 14 Central Processing Units/ 78
The Role of Accounting Information Systems in Output Devices/ 80
Organizations/ 18 3.4 Secondary Storage Devices/ 81
1.5 What’s New in Accounting Information Magnetic (Hard) Disks/ 82
Systems?/ 19 CD-ROMs, DVDs, and Blu-Ray Discs/ 83
Cloud Computing—Impact for Accountants/ 19 Flash Memory/ 84
Corporate Responsibility Reporting/ 20 Image Processing and Record Management
k Suspicious Activity Reporting/ 21 Systems/ 84 k
Forensic Accounting, Governmental Accountants, 3.5 Data Communications and Networks/ 85
and Terrorism/ 22 Communication Channels and Protocols/ 85
Corporate Scandals and Accounting/ 22 Local and Wide Area Networks/ 86
Client/Server Computing/ 89
Wireless Data Communications/ 90
CHAPTER 2 Accounting on the Internet/ 32 Cloud Computing/ 93
2.1 Introduction/ 32 3.6 Computer Software/ 93
2.2 The Internet and World Wide Web/ 33 Operating Systems/ 93
Internet Addresses and Software/ 33 Application Software/ 94
Intranets and Extranets/ 34 Programming Languages/ 95
The World Wide Web, HTML, and IDEA/ 35
Groupware, Electronic Conferencing, and CHAPTER 4 Accounting and Data Analytics/ 109
Blogs/ 35 4.1 Introduction/ 109
Social Media and Its Value to Accountants/ 36 4.2 Big Data/ 110
2.3 XBRL—Financial Reporting on the Internet/ 37 Volume/ 110
XBRL Instance Documents and Taxonomies/ 38 Velocity/ 110
The Benefits and Drawbacks of XBRL/ 38 Variety/ 111
The Current Status of XBRL/ 40 Veracity/ 112
2.4 Electronic Business/ 41 4.3 Analyzing Data/ 112
e-Accounting/ 41 Data Procurement/ 113
Retail Sales/ 42 Data Provisioning/ 115
E-Payments, E-Wallets, and Virtual Data Analysis/ 116
Currencies/ 43 Presentation/ 117
B2C, B2B, and C2C E-Commerce/ 46 4.4 Enabling Technologies and Tools/ 118
Electronic Data Interchange/ 47 Data Access/ 118
Cloud Computing/ 48 Analysis and Data Visualization Tools/ 121
2.5 Privacy and Security on the Internet/ 51 4.5 Data Analytics and the Accounting
Identity Theft and Privacy/ 51 Profession/ 123

xi

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xii Contents

Tax Accounting/ 123 Corrective Controls/ 187


Managerial Accounting/ 124 Discerning Between Preventive, Detective, and
Assurance and Compliance/ 125 Corrective Controls/ 187
6.7 Evaluating Controls/ 188
CHAPTER 5 Integrated Accounting and Enterprise Requirements of the Sarbanes–Oxley Act/ 188
Software/ 134 Cost–Benefit Analysis/ 188
A Risk Matrix/ 190
5.1 Introduction/ 134
5.2 Integrated Accounting Software/ 135
CHAPTER 7 Computer Controls for Organizations and
Small Business Accounting Software/ 136
Accounting Information Systems/ 200
Mid-Range and Large-Scale Accounting
Software/ 138 7.1 Introduction/ 200
Specialized Accounting Information 7.2 Enterprise-Level Controls/ 201
Risk Assessment and Security Policies/ 202
Systems/ 138
Designing a Security Policy/ 202
5.3 Enterprise-Wide Information Systems/ 139
Integrated Security for the Organization/ 203
Enterprise System Functionality/ 140
7.3 General Controls for Information Technology/ 204
The Architecture of Enterprise Systems/ 142
Access to Data, Hardware, and Software/ 204
Business Processes and ERP Systems/ 145
Personnel Policies to Protect Systems and
Benefits and Risks of Enterprise Systems/ 145
Data/ 209
5.4 Selecting a Software Package/ 149
Additional Policies to Protect Systems and
When Is a New AIS Needed?/ 149
Data/ 211
Selecting the Right Software/ 149
7.4 Application Controls for Transaction
Processing/ 217
CHAPTER 6 Introduction to Internal Control Systems Input Controls/ 218
and Risk Management/ 163 Processing Controls/ 221
6.1 Introduction/ 163 Output Controls/ 223
k Definition of Internal Control/ 164 k
Internal Control Systems/ 165 CHAPTER 8 Accounting Information Systems and
6.2 COSO Internal Control—Integrated Business Processes: Part I/ 234
Framework/ 165 8.1 Introduction/ 234
2013 COSO Report/ 165 8.2 Business Process Fundamentals/ 235
6.3 Enterprise Risk Management/ 169 Overview of the Financial Accounting Cycle/ 235
COSO ERM Introduction/ 169 Coding Systems/ 236
2004 ERM Framework/ 169 8.3 Collecting and Reporting Accounting
2017 ERM Framework/ 171 Information/ 237
Risk Governance and Culture/ 172 Designing Reports/ 238
Risk, Strategy, and Objective Setting/ 173 From Source Documents to Output Reports/ 239
Risk in Execution/ 174 8.4 The Sales Process/ 241
Risk Information, Communication, and Objectives of the Sales Process/ 242
Reporting/ 174 Inputs to the Sales Process/ 243
Monitoring Enterprise Risk Management Outputs of the Sales Process/ 246
Performance/ 175 8.5 The Purchasing Process/ 247
6.4 Examples of Control Activities/ 175 Objectives of the Purchasing Process/ 247
Good Audit Trail/ 175 Inputs to the Purchasing Process/ 250
Sound Personnel Policies and Procedures/ 175 Outputs of the Purchasing Process/ 251
Separation of Duties/ 177 8.6 Current Trends in Business Processes/ 254
Physical Protection of Assets/ 179 Business Process Outsourcing (BPO)/ 254
6.5 Monitoring Internal Control Systems/ 183 Business Process Management Software/ 256
Reviews of Operating Performance/ 183
COSO Guidance on Monitoring/ 183 CHAPTER 9 Accounting Information Systems and
Operating Performance vs. Monitoring/ 183 Business Processes: Part II/ 266
COBIT 5/ 184 9.1 Introduction/ 266
6.6 Types of Controls/ 186 9.2 The Resource Management Process/ 267
Preventive Controls/ 186 Human Resource Management/ 267
Detective Controls/ 187 Fixed-Asset Management/ 270

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Contents xiii

9.3 The Production Process/ 272 Evaluating the Effectiveness of Information Systems
Objectives of the Production Process/ 272 Controls/ 335
Inputs to the Production Process/ 277 11.3 The Information Technology Auditor’s Toolkit/ 337
Outputs of the Production Process/ 278 Auditing Software/ 337
9.4 The Financing Process/ 279 People Skills/ 340
Objectives of the Financing Process/ 279 11.4 Auditing Computerized Accounting Information
Inputs to the Financing Process/ 281 Systems/ 340
Outputs of the Financing Process/ 281 Testing Computer Programs/ 341
9.5 Business Processes in Special Industries/ 282 Validating Computer Programs/ 342
Professional Service Organizations/ 283 Review of Systems Software/ 343
Not-for-Profit Organizations/ 283 Validating Users and Access Privileges/ 344
Health Care Organizations/ 285 Continuous Auditing/ 345
9.6 Business Process Reengineering/ 287 11.5 Information Technology Auditing Today/ 347
Why Reengineering Sometimes Fails/ 288 Information Technology Governance/ 347
The Sarbanes–Oxley Act of 2002/ 347
Auditing Standard No. 2201 (AS 2201)/ 349
CHAPTER 10 Cybercrime, Fraud, and Ethics/ 296 ISACA Information Technology Assurance
10.1 Introduction/ 296 Framework/ 350
10.2 Cybercrime and Fraud/ 297 IIA’s Global Technology Audit Guides and Guide to
Distinguishing between Cybercrime and the Assessment of IT Risk series/ 351
Fraud/ 297
Cybercrime Legislation/ 300
Cybercrime Statistics/ 303 CHAPTER 12 Documenting Accounting Information
10.3 Examples of Cybercrime/ 304 Systems/ 358
Compromising Valuable Information/ 304 12.1 Introduction/ 358
k Hacking/ 305 12.2 Why Documentation is Important/ 359 k
Denial of Service/ 307 12.3 Primary Documentation Tools/ 362
10.4 Preventing and Detecting Cybercrime and Data Flow Diagrams/ 363
Fraud/ 309 Document Flowcharts/ 368
Enlist Top-Management Support/ 309 System Flowcharts/ 372
Increase Employee Awareness and 12.4 Other Documentation Tools/ 377
Education/ 309 Program Flowcharts/ 378
Assess Security Policies and Protect Decision Tables and Decision Trees/ 379
Passwords/ 310 Software Tools for Graphical Documentation and
Implement Controls/ 311 SOX Compliance/ 381
Identify Computer Criminals/ 312 12.5 End-User Computing and Documentation/ 383
Maintain Physical Security/ 313 The Importance of End-User Documentation/ 383
Recognize the Symptoms of Employee Fraud/ 314 Policies for End-User Computing and
Use Data-Driven Techniques/ 316 Documentation/ 385
Employ Forensic Accountants/ 316
10.5 Ethical Issues, Privacy, and Identity Theft/ 317
Ethical Issues and Professional CHAPTER 13 Developing and Implementing Effective
Associations/ 317 Accounting Information Systems/ 398
Meeting the Ethical Challenges/ 318 13.1 Introduction/ 398
Privacy/ 319 13.2 The Systems Development Life Cycle/ 399
Company Policies with Respect to Privacy/ 320 Four Stages in the Systems Development Life
Identity Theft/ 320 Cycle/ 399
Systems Studies and Accounting Information
Systems/ 401
CHAPTER 11 Information Technology Auditing/ 329 13.3 Systems Planning/ 401
11.1 Introduction/ 329 Planning for Success/ 401
11.2 The Audit Function/ 330 Investigating Current Systems/ 403
Internal versus External Auditing/ 330 13.4 Systems Analysis/ 403
Information Technology Auditing/ 331 Understanding Organizational Goals/ 403

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xiv Contents

Systems Survey Work/ 404 CHAPTER 15 Organizing and Manipulating the Data in
Data Analysis/ 406 Databases/ 462
Evaluating System Feasibility/ 406 15.1 Introduction/ 462
13.5 Detailed Systems Design and Acquisition/ 408 15.2 Creating Database Tables in Microsoft
Designing System Outputs, Processes, and Access/ 463
Inputs/ 409 Database Management Systems/ 463
The System Specifications Report/ 412 Using Microsoft Access/ 463
Choosing an Accounting Information Creating Database Tables/ 464
System/ 413 Creating Relationships/ 466
Outsourcing/ 416 15.3 Entering Data in Database Tables/ 468
13.6 Implementation, Follow-Up, and Creating Records/ 468
Maintenance/ 417 Ensuring Valid and Accurate Data Entry/ 469
Implementation Activities/ 417 Tips for Creating Database Tables and
Managing Implementation Records/ 472
Projects/ 419 15.4 Extracting Data from Databases: Data Manipulation
Postimplementation Review/ 421 Languages (DMLs)/ 473
System Maintenance/ 422 Creating Select Queries/ 473
Creating Action Queries/ 477
Guidelines for Creating Queries/ 478
CHAPTER 14 Database Design/ 434
Structured Query Language (SQL)/ 478
14.1 Introduction/ 434 Sorting, Indexing, and Database
14.2 An Overview of Databases/ 434 Programming/ 479
What Is a Database?/ 435
Significance of Databases/ 435
CHAPTER 16 Database Forms and Reports/ 490
Storing Data in Databases/ 437
Additional Database Issues/ 439 16.1 Introduction/ 490
k 14.3 Steps in Developing a Database Using the 16.2 Forms/ 490 k
Resources, Events, and Agents (REA) Creating Simple Forms/ 492
Approach/ 442 Using Forms for Input and Output Tasks/ 496
Step 1—Identify Business and Economic Subforms: Showing Data from Multiple
Events/ 443 Tables/ 497
Step 2—Identify Entities/ 444 Concluding Remarks about Forms/ 498
Step 3—Identify Relationships/ 444 16.3 Reports/ 498
Step 4—Create Entity–Relationship Creating Simple Reports/ 499
Creating Reports with Calculated Fields/ 502
Diagrams/ 445
Creating Reports with Grouped Data/ 504
Step 5—Identify Attributes of Entities/ 446
Concluding Remarks about Reports/ 506
Step 6—Convert E-R Diagrams into Database
Tables/ 447
14.4 Normalization/ 449 Glossary/ (Available online at
First Normal Form/ 449 http://www.wiley.com/college/simkin)
Second Normal Form/ 450
Third Normal Form/ 451 Index/ 516

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Chapter 1

Accounting Information Systems


and the Accountant

After studying this chapter, you will be able to:


1. Describe the significant impact of information technology (IT) on the accounting
profession and explain why you need to study accounting information systems.
2. Identify career opportunities that combine accounting and IT knowledge and skills.
3. Explain how IT influences accounting systems.
4. Give examples of how financial reporting is changing with advances in IT.
5. Give examples of how accountants use business intelligence for decision-making.
6. Identify what is new in the area of accounting information systems.
7. Distinguish between terms such as “systems,” “information systems,” “information
technology,” and “accounting information systems.”

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“In the accounting profession, for example, firms working with clients that own large
mineral deposits or mining operations can now use drones to fly over the area, tak-
ing thousands of pictures and measurements. CPAs can then use that data to provide
exact estimates of holdings. “Their balance sheets and their assets are literally sitting
on the ground,” and drones can quickly calculate inventory estimates by flying over
the area … ”

Ovaska-Few, S. 2017. Drones set to invade accounting profession. CPA Insider,


Journal of Accountancy ( January 23): Available online.

1.1 INTRODUCTION: WHY STUDY ACCOUNTING INFORMATION


SYSTEMS?
This chapter begins by answering the question “why should you study accounting
information systems?” There are so many reasons, but one of the most important is
because of the special career opportunities that will enable you to combine your study
of accounting with your interest in computer systems. In today’s job market, accounting
employers expect new hires to be computer savvy. A large number of specialized and
highly compensated employment opportunities are only available to those students
who possess an integrated understanding of accounting and information systems and
can bring that understanding to bear on complicated business decisions.
Think about it. When is the last time you went into a bank, filled out a piece of
paper to withdraw cash from your bank account, and then stood in line waiting for a

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2 Core Concepts of Accounting Information Systems

teller to help you? When is the last time you went to a travel agency to ask someone to
find you an airline ticket for your spring break vacation to Florida or the Virgin Islands?
Or when is the last time you stood in line to fill out paperwork for the courses you
wanted to take for next semester? Most likely, the answer to each of these questions is
“never.” And that is because of information technology (IT). Information technology is
so pervasive today that it is nearly impossible to do anything that does not in some way
involve technology. So ask yourself the question “how can you possibly be a successful
accountant if you do not have a basic understanding of how technology influences the
profession?”

1.2 CAREERS IN ACCOUNTING INFORMATION SYSTEMS


Our introductory remarks to this chapter suggest a variety of reasons why you should
study accounting information systems (AISs). Of them, perhaps the most interest-
ing to students is the employment opportunities available to those who understand
accounting, information systems, and the applicable technologies.

Traditional Accounting Career Opportunities


Certainly, a number of traditional accounting jobs in corporate and public account-
ing are available to those who choose to study accounting and information systems.
Technology plays a very strong role in public accounting and auditing, internal audit-
k ing, managerial accounting, fraud examination, and taxation. Recognizing the impor- k
tance to accountants of knowledge about IT and information systems, the American
Institute of Certified Public Accountants (AICPA) developed a new designation, the
Certified Information Technology Professional (CITP), that accountants can earn
with business experience and if they pass an examination. This certification signifies
superior knowledge in IT, information systems, and specialized information manage-
ment systems.

Case-in-Point 1.1 The AICPA has an Information Management and Technology Assur-
ance (IMTA) Section that supports CPAs who offer assurance services and information man-
agement support for their clients. This section provides access to resources to help CPAs
understand how the use of data and reports from information systems can lead to better busi-
ness decisions. Members also gain an understanding of how they can use IT and information
systems skills combined with financial insight to evaluate technology risks.1

Employer demand is high for employees with a combination of accounting and


IT/systems skills. For example, in 2017 in the corporate world, financial systems
administrators generally earned between $61,250 and $84,000, while project managers
ranged from $80,250 to $110,250, and managers from $98,000 to $130,750.2

Systems Consulting
A consultant is an outside expert who helps an organization solve problems or pro-
vides technical expertise on an issue. Systems consultants provide help with issues

1American Institute of Certified Public Accountants, accessed from www.aicpa.org, March 2017.
2Robert, H. 2017. “Salary guide for accounting and finance,” accessed from www.roberthalf.com, March
2017.

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CHAPTER 1 / Accounting Information Systems and the Accountant 3

concerning information systems—for example, by helping an organization design a


new information system, select computer hardware or software, or reengineer business
processes so that they operate more effectively.
One of the most important assets a consultant brings to the job is an objective view
of a client’s organization and its processes and goals. Students who are skilled in both
accounting and information systems are particularly competent systems consultants
because they understand how data flow through accounting systems as well as how
business processes function. Systems consultants can help a variety of organizations,
including professional service organizations, public and private corporations, and gov-
ernment agencies. This broad work experience, combined with technical knowledge
about hardware and software, can be a valuable asset to CPA clients. Because it is likely
that a newly designed system will include accounting-related information, a consultant
who understands accounting is particularly helpful. Many systems consultants work for
large professional service organizations, such as Accenture, Protiviti, or Capgemini, as
well as for the consulting divisions of CPA firms. Others may work for specialized
organizations that focus on the custom design of AISs.
Consulting careers for students knowledgeable in AISs also include jobs as value-
added resellers (VARs). Software vendors license VARs to sell a particular software
package and provide consulting services to companies, such as help with their soft-
ware installation, training, and customization. That is, VARs are individuals who take
a product and add value to the product for their customers, which might include ser-
vices such as strategic planning, system design and implementation, technical support,
database development, and other similar services. A VAR may also set up a small one-
person consulting business or may work with other VARs and consultants to provide
k alternative software solutions to clients. k

Fraud Examiner or Forensic Accountant


Due to increased concerns about terrorism and corporate fraud, forensic accounting
and fraud examination are important area for accountants to study and develop their
skills. An accountant can acquire the Certified Fraud Examiner (CFE) certification
by meeting the qualifications of the Association of Certified Fraud Examiners (ACFE).
To become a CFE, an individual must first meet the following qualifications: have a
bachelor’s degree, at least 2 years of professional experience in a field either directly
or indirectly related to the detection or deterrence of fraud, be of high moral character,
and agree to abide by the bylaws and code of professional ethics of the ACFE. If a per-
son meets these requirements, then she or he may apply to sit for the CFE examination.
You might be asking yourself what sort of professional experience might be useful
if you wish to satisfy the 2-year requirement for certification. Not surprisingly, these
jobs may be located within CPA firms across the United States, as well as within inter-
national public accounting firms. Other such positions might include working for at
business organization as an internal auditor, with a valuation expert in a law firm,
with an FBI or CIA agent, or as an auditor for Medicaid, Medicare, or many other
government organizations.
The AICPA also offers the Certified in Financial Forensics (CFF) designation for
CPAs who want to specialize in the area of Forensic Accounting. The knowledge base
for this certification includes computer forensic analysis. A forensic accountant with
an IT background is very helpful in the investigation of cyber crime and breaches in
cyber security.
Fraud examiners and forensic accountants use software data analytical tools like
ACL Analytics and IDEA Data Analysis to analyze large quantities of data and to

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4 Core Concepts of Accounting Information Systems

Job Title Salary Range


Fraud Investigator $39,551–91,715
Senior Internal Auditor $53,424–90,613
Internal Auditing Manager $74,441–111,778
Internal Auditor $42,971–76,480
Senior Auditor $50,848–95,600

FIGURE 1-1 Examples of job titles and pay range for Fraud Examiners and Forensic Accoun-
tants. Source: 2017 Salary guide for accounting and finance, www.roberthalf.com, accessed
March 2017.

perform advanced digital forensics. The objective is to reduce fraud risk and to
detect fraud.
The salary ranges and possible job locations are varied. Most positions will likely
be located in larger metropolitan areas, but may also be found in mid-sized cities.
From the chart for 2017 (Figure 1-1), you can see the salary ranges for several types
of positions.
Essentially, fraud occurs where there are weak internal controls or when a man-
ager or employee circumvents the internal controls that are in place. A more detailed
explanation of internal controls is contained in Chapters 6 and 7.

Information Technology Auditing and Security


k Information technology (IT) auditors focus on the risks associated with computer- k
ized information systems. These individuals often work closely with financial auditors
to assess the risks associated with automated AISs—a position in high demand because
almost all systems are now computerized. Information systems auditors also help finan-
cial auditors decide how much time to devote to auditing each segment of a company’s
business. This assessment may lead to the conclusion that the controls within some
portions of a client’s information systems are reliable and that less time needs to be
spent on them—or the opposite. Due to the growing need for this type of auditor, we
devote an entire chapter to IT auditing—Chapter 11.
IT auditors are involved in a number of activities apart from assessing risk for
financial audit purposes. Many of these auditors work for large CPA firms, such as
Ernst & Young, PwC, Deloitte, or KPMG. Figure 1-2 identifies a partial listing of the
types of services offered by Ernst & Young.

Assurance Services
• Financial statement attestation
• Internal control reporting
• Assess procedures and controls concerning privacy and confidentiality, performance measurement,
systems reliability, outsourced process controls, information security
Business Risk Services
Fraud Investigation and Dispute Services
Technology and Security Risk Services
Specialty Advisory Services

FIGURE 1-2 A sample of the many types of services offered by Ernst & Young LLP, one of the
largest international professional service organizations.

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CHAPTER 1 / Accounting Information Systems and the Accountant 5

IT auditors might be CPAs, or they might be licensed as Certified Information


Systems Auditors (CISAs)—a certification given to professional information systems
auditors by the Information Systems Audit and Control Association (ISACA). To
become a CISA, you must take an examination and obtain specialized work experience.
Many CISAs have accounting and information systems backgrounds, although formal
accounting education is not required for certification. IT auditors help in documenting
and evaluating IT controls.
According to the ISACA website, there is a growing demand for employees who
have IS audit, control, and security skills. The CISA certification is therefore in high
demand because CISA employees are highly qualified, experienced professionals who
provide the enterprise with certification for IT assurance that has global recognition.
These employees have proficiency in technology controls. They demonstrate compe-
tency in standards and practices, organization and management, processes, integrity,
confidentiality, availability, and software development, acquisition, and maintenance.
They also demonstrate a commitment to providing the enterprise with trust in and
value from its information systems.3

Case-in-Point 1.2 According to Cindy Wyatt, Managing Member at Insyte CPAs, LLC in
Birmingham, Alabama, who herself has passed the CISA certification examinations, “Tech-
nology is paramount in today’s business environment. Accountants who understand informa-
tion technology controls are far more effective in their careers, and thus, far more valuable
to the organizations they serve.”

Sometimes the best way to assess the risks associated with a computerized system
k is to try to penetrate the system, which is referred to as penetration testing. These k
tests are usually conducted within a systems security audit from which the organiza-
tion attempts to determine the level of vulnerability of their information systems and
the impact such weaknesses might have on the viability of the organization. If any
security issues are discovered, the organization will typically work swiftly to correct
the problems or at least mitigate the impact they might have on the company. But
what if someone else penetrates an organization’s systems? That is commonly called
“hacking” and is usually a very serious problem for any company. We cover hacking
in more detail in Chapter 10.

Case-in-Point 1.3 In 2013 and 2014, Yahoo Inc. had its systems hacked, affecting over
a billion user accounts. The hacker(s) penetrated Yahoo’s network and were able to steal
user names, email addresses, dates of birth, telephone numbers, and encrypted passwords.
Yahoo disclosed that it had spent $11 million in legal fees and $5 million to investigate the
breach and patch the security holes. The CEO, Marissa Mayer had to also forego her 2016
cash bonus of around $2 million and her 2017 equity award of no less than $12 million.4

Predictive Analytics
What you will soon learn from studying this book, and hopefully through reading pro-
fessional accounting journals, is that the accounting profession is constantly changing.
To be successful as an accounting professional, you will need to stay abreast of these

3The Benefits of CISA, accessed from ISACA (www.isaca.org), March 2014.


4Seetharaman, D. and R. McMillan. Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer takes pay cut over security breach. March 1,
2017, Wall Street Journal, accessed March 2017.

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6 Core Concepts of Accounting Information Systems

changes, or better yet get out in front of some of the expected trends in the profession.
One of those trends that we want to alert you to is the rapidly growing opportunities in
the field of predictive analytics, which is the result of the tremendous amount of data
that is now available within organizations (e.g., data warehouses, which offer oppor-
tunities for data mining). In the future, this is the most likely area where you can add
value—by being able to analyze that data and make useful business predictions for
your clients.
You might be surprised to learn that a number of accounting jobs already require
this type of skill set—for example, jobs such as client service analyst, quantitative
analyst, risk analyst, and financial planner and analyst (responsible for preparing the
annual plan and long-range or 5-year plan for a company and usually reports to the
CFO).5 So what exactly is predictive analytics, and what does this type of professional
do? The predictive analytics professional uses a variety of skills and abilities, ranging
from statistical analysis, data modeling, and data mining used by management to make
predictions about the future.
This might require a mind shift for some accounting majors. Rather than seeking
an MBA degree or an MS in accounting, consider an MS degree in analytics or business
analytics. There are now over 100 such degree programs in the United States, offering
full-time, part-time, and online delivery. So that you can appreciate the strong demand
for this new type of credential, the first MS in Analytics program was available in 2007,
and around 25% of these programs just started since 2016.6 If you go to the website at
footnote 6, you can find the universities that offer these programs, the length of each
program, the cost, and the curriculum. You might also be interested in the 2016 median
starting salary of $87,700 with no experience (see Institute for Advanced Analytics, MSA
k k
Infographic, analytics.ncsu.edu, accessed March 2017).

1.3 ACCOUNTING AND IT


IT is pervasive and impacts every area of accounting. Instantaneous online access is
available via mobile communication devices such as cell phones, iPads, smartphones,
and so on, which enable activities to take place anytime, anywhere. For example,
managerial accountants can complete important work tasks while traveling in the field,
auditors can communicate with each other from remote job sites (while auditing the
same client), staff accountants can text message one another from various locations,
and tax experts can download current information on tax rulings.
Figure 1-3 provides an overview of the major areas within the field of accounting
impacted by information technology. This section of the chapter considers the influence
of IT on each of them.

Financial Accounting
The major objective of the financial accounting information system is to provide
relevant information to individuals and groups outside an organization’s boundaries,
for example, investors, federal and state tax agencies, and creditors.

5icrunchdata.com, accessed March 2014.


6“Survey of graduate degree programs in analytics,” Institute for Advanced Analytics, analytics.ncsu.edu,
accessed March 2017.

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CHAPTER 1 / Accounting Information Systems and the Accountant 7

Taxation

Financial
IT Auditing
Accounting

Managerial
Accounting

FIGURE 1-3 Overview of the major areas of accounting impacted by information technology.

Accountants achieve these informational objectives by preparing financial state-


ments such as income statements, balance sheets, statements of stockholders’ equity,
and cash flow statements. Of course, managers within a company might also use these
financial reports for planning, decision-making, and control activities. However, for
most decisions within the firm, managers likely use managerial accounting reports.
Recall from your introductory financial accounting course that an organization’s
financial accounting cycle begins with analyzing and journalizing transactions (e.g.,
this data is captured when a business event occurs that has a monetary impact on the
financial statements) and ends with its periodic financial statements. Accounting clerks,
store cashiers, or even the customers themselves input relevant data into the system that
k stores these data for later use. In financial AISs, the processing function also includes k
posting these entries to general and subsidiary ledger accounts, preparing a trial bal-
ance from the general ledger account balances, and preparing financial statements.

Nonfinancial Data. The basic inputs to, and outputs from, traditional financial account-
ing systems are usually expressed in monetary units. This can be a problem if the AIS
ignores nonmonetary information that is also important to users. For example, an
investor might like to know what the prospects are for the future sales of a company,
but many financial AISs do not record information such as unfulfilled customer sales
because such sales are not recognizable financial events for accounting purposes, even
though they represent important business events. The AIS is a subset of the manage-
ment information system of an organization, which also stores important nonfinancial
information about organizational resources, business events, and agents (customers,
vendors, banks, etc.) in databases precisely because they are relevant to the decision-
making processes of their users.
Inadequacies in financial performance measures have encouraged companies to
consider nonfinancial measures when evaluating performance. Some of the advan-
tages include the following: (1) nonfinancial measures can provide a closer link to
long-term organizational strategies; (2) drivers of success in many industries are “in-
tangible assets” such as intellectual capital and customer loyalty, rather than the “hard
assets” that are recorded on balance sheets; (3) such measures can be better indi-
cators of future financial performance; and (4) investments in customer satisfaction
can improve subsequent economic performance by increasing revenues and loyalty of
existing customers, attracting new customers, and reducing transaction costs.7

7 Ittner, C. and D. Larcker. “Non-financial performance measures: What works and what doesn’t,”

December 6, 2000, Knowledge@Wharton (knowledge.wharton.upenn.edu), accessed March 2017.

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8 Core Concepts of Accounting Information Systems

Several professional associations now formally recognize that nonfinancial per-


formance measures enhance the value of purely financial information. For example,
in 1994 a special committee of the AICPA recommended several ways that businesses
could improve the information they were providing to external parties by including
management analysis data, forward-looking information such as opportunities and
risks, information about management and shareholders, and background infor-
mation about the reporting entity. Similarly, in 2002, the American Accounting
Association (AAA) Financial Accounting Standards Committee recommended that
the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) and the Financial Accounting Stan-
dards Board (FASB) encourage companies to voluntarily disclose more nonfinancial
performance measures.
There are several suggestions that are important to keep in mind if a company
chooses to collect metrics around nonfinancial performance measures. For example,
keeping track of the information, such as using a dashboard, is very helpful. (We dis-
cuss dashboards in more depth in the next section of this chapter and in Chapter 5.)
Also, limiting the number of measures is important so that a company remains focused
on those that are truly critical to the performance of the company. And finally, man-
agement should closely monitor the nonfinancial performance measures to make sure
that they are relevant to the company’s success.

Case-in-Point 1.4 The ThyssenKrupp company uses nonfinancial performance indicators


to monitor sustainability, innovations, employees, environment and climate, and corporate
citizenship. The company summarizes their goal in the following statement. “Our perfor-
mance is reflected not only in our financial results, but also in the sustainability of our actions.
k k
We develop efficient solutions that conserve resources and protect the climate and the envi-
ronment. For this we need capable employees—so we place strong emphasis on training and
development and health and safety.”8

Real-Time Reporting. Another impact of IT on financial accounting is the timing of


inputs, processing, and outputs. Financial statements are periodic, and most large
companies traditionally issue them quarterly, with a comprehensive report produced
annually. With advances in IT that allow transactions to be captured immediately when
the business activity occurs, the AIS can produce financial statements almost in real
time. Of course, some of the adjustments that accountants must make to the records
are not done minute-by-minute, but a business can certainly track sales and many of its
expenses continuously. This is especially useful to retailing executives, many of whom
now use dashboards.

Interactive Data and XBRL. A problem that accountants, investors, auditors, and other
financial managers have often faced is that data used in one application are not eas-
ily transferable to another. This means that accountants may spend hours preparing
spreadsheets and reports that require them to enter the same data in different formats
over and over. Interactive data are data that can be reused and carried seamlessly
among a variety of applications or reports. Consider, for example, a data item such as
total assets. This number might need to be formatted and even calculated several differ-
ent ways (e.g., at cost, net realizable value, book value, replacement value) for reports

8 ThyssenKrupp, A.G., “Non-financial Performance Indicators,” Online Annual Report 2010/2011, accessed

March 2017.

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CHAPTER 1 / Accounting Information Systems and the Accountant 9

such as filings with the SEC, banks, and performance reports. With interactive data,
the data are captured in the database only once and can be used wherever needed.
Interactive data require a language for standardization that “tags” the data at its
most basic level. As an example, for total assets, this would be at the detail level for
each asset. Extensible business reporting language (XBRL) is the language of choice
for this purpose. As of 2010, the SEC requires public companies to file their financial
reports in XBRL format. In addition, many companies, software programs, and indus-
tries are beginning to incorporate XBRL for creating, transforming, and communicating
financial information.
We will discuss cloud computing later in this chapter, but at this point, we want to
make you aware of this technology with respect to XBRL. XBRL Cloud made a viewer
available that allows anyone to examine SEC XBRL financial filings, and it is called
the XBRL Cloud EDGAR Dashboard.9 When a filing is posted on the SEC website,
XBRL Cloud takes the information and adds a new line to the Dashboard that indi-
cates the name of the filing company, the form type and date filed, the percentage of
extended elements, the creation software that was used to prepare the filing, and free
validation checking. A description of some of the Dashboard’s features can be found
at xbrl.squarespace.com. We discuss XBRL in more detail in Chapter 2, and you can
learn about the current status of XBRL at www.XBRL.org.

Case-in-Point 1.5 The Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation (FDIC) insures bank
deposits over a specific amount. FDIC wanted to create an Internet-based Central Data
Repository that stored all the quarterly data they received from more than 7,000 banks. They
convinced their software vendors to incorporate XBRL to standardize the data. The tagged
k data that the FDIC receives from banks now has improved accuracy and can be published k
and made available to users much more quickly than before.10

Managerial Accounting
The principal objective of managerial accounting is to provide relevant information to
organizational managers, that is, users who are internal to a company or government
agency. Cost accounting and budgeting are two typical parts of a company’s managerial
accounting system. Let us examine each of them in turn.

Cost Accounting. Due to globalization, decentralization, deregulation, and other fac-


tors, companies continue to face stiff competition. The result is that companies must
be more efficient and be more adept at controlling costs. The cost accounting part of
managerial accounting specifically assists management in measuring and controlling
the costs associated with an organization’s various acquisition, manufacturing, distri-
bution, and selling activities. In the broadest sense, these tasks focus on the value
added by an organization to its goods or services, and this concept remains constant
whether the organization is a manufacturer, a bank, a hospital, or a police department.
Take health care for an example. Although much controversy still surrounds the
health-care legislation that was signed into law in 2010, there is one fact that most
currently agree upon—the health care industry is a very large portion of the US econ-
omy and it is growing rapidly as the “baby boomer generation” reaches retirement age.

9See https://edgardashboard.xbrlcloud.com/edgar-dashboard. Accessed March 2017.


10Improved business process through XBRL: A use case for business reporting, Federal Financial Institutions
Examination Council, White Paper, January 31, 2006. Accessed from XBRL.org in March 2017.

k
Another random document with
no related content on Scribd:
“That doesn’t make any difference to me. If I have got to fetch this
Shah I don’t wish to go to the wrong place. Where is Belgium? Is it a
shilling fare in a cab?”
He explained that it was in foreign parts--the first place I have
heard of lately which a body could not go to in a cab for a shilling.
I said I could not go alone, because I could not speak foreign
languages well, could not get up in time for the early train without
help, and could not find my way. I said it was enough to have the
Shah on my hands; I did not wish to have everything piled on me.
Mr. Blank was then ordered to go with me. I do like to have
somebody along to talk to when I go abroad.
When I got home I sat down and thought the thing all over. I
wanted to go into this enterprise understandingly. What was the main
thing? That was the question. A little reflection informed me. For two
weeks the London papers had sung just one continual song to just
one continual tune, and the idea of it all was “how to impress the
Shah.” These papers had told all about the St. Petersburg splendors,
and had said at the end that splendors would no longer answer; that
England could not outdo Russia in that respect; therefore some other
way of impressing the Shah must be contrived. And these papers
had also told all about the Shahstic reception in Prussia and its
attendant military pageantry. England could not improve on that sort
of thing--she could not impress the Shah with soldiers; something
else must be tried. And so on. Column after column, page after page
of agony about how to “impress the Shah.” At last they had hit upon
a happy idea--a grand naval exhibition. That was it! A man brought
up in Oriental seclusion and simplicity, a man who had never seen
anything but camels and such things, could not help being surprised
and delighted with the strange novelty of ships. The distress was at
an end. England heaved a great sigh of relief; she knew at last how
to impress the Shah.
My course was very plain, now, after that bit of reflection. All I had
to do was to go over to Belgium and impress the Shah. I failed to
form any definite plan as to the process, but I made up my mind to
manage it somehow. I said to myself, “I will impress this Shah or
there shall be a funeral that will be worth contemplating.”
I went to bed then, but did not sleep a great deal, for the
responsibilities were weighing pretty heavily upon me. At six o’clock
in the morning Mr. Blank came and turned me out. I was surprised at
this, and not gratified, for I detest early rising. I never like to say
severe things, but I was a good deal tried this time. I said I did not
mind getting up moderately early, but I hated to be called day before
yesterday. However, as I was acting in a national capacity and for a
country that I liked, I stopped grumbling and we set out. A grand
naval review is a good thing to impress a Shah with, but if he would
try getting up at six o’clock in the morning--but no matter; we started.
We took the Dover train and went whistling along over the
housetops at the rate of fifty miles an hour, and just as smoothly and
pleasantly, too, as if we were in a sleigh. One never can have
anything but a very vague idea of what speed is until he travels over
an English railway. Our “lightning” expresses are sleepy and indolent
by comparison. We looked into the back windows of the endless
ranks of houses abreast and below us, and saw many a homelike
little family of early birds sitting at their breakfasts. New views and
new aspects of London were about me; the mighty city seemed to
spread farther and wider in the clear morning air than it had ever
done before. There is something awe-inspiring about the mere look
of the figures that express the population of London when one
comes to set them down in a good large hand--4,000,000! It takes a
body’s breath away, almost.
We presently left the city behind. We had started drowsy, but we
did not stay so. How could we, with the brilliant sunshine pouring
down, the balmy wind blowing through the open windows, and the
Garden of Eden spread all abroad? We swept along through rolling
expanses of growing grain--not a stone or a stump to mar their
comeliness, not an unsightly fence or an ill-kept hedge; through
broad meadows covered with fresh green grass as clean swept as if
a broom had been at work there--little brooks wandering up and
down them, noble trees here and there, cows in the shade, groves in
the distance and church spires projecting out of them; and there
were the quaintest old-fashioned houses set in the midst of smooth
lawns or partly hiding themselves among fine old forest trees; and
there was one steep-roofed ancient cottage whose walls all around,
and whose roof, and whose chimneys, were clothed in a shining mail
of ivy leaves!--so thoroughly, indeed, that only one little patch of roof
was visible to prove that the house was not a mere house of leaves,
with glass windows in it. Imagine those dainty little homes
surrounded by flowering shrubs and bright green grass and all sorts
of old trees--and then go on and try to imagine something more
bewitching.
By and by we passed Rochester, and, sure enough, right there, on
the highest ground in the town and rising imposingly up from among
clustering roofs, was the gray old castle--roofless, ruined, ragged,
the sky beyond showing clear and blue through the glassless
windows, the walls partly clad with ivy--a time-scarred, weather-
beaten old pile, but ever so picturesque and ever so majestic, too.
There it was, a whole book of English history. I had read of
Rochester Castle a thousand times, but I had never really believed
there was any such building before.
Presently we reached the sea and came to a stand far out on a
pier; and here was Dover and more history. The chalk cliffs of
England towered up from the shore and the French coast was
visible. On the tallest hill sat Dover Castle, stately and spacious and
superb, looking just as it has always looked any time these ten or
fifteen thousand years--I do not know its exact age, and it does not
matter, anyway.
We stepped aboard the little packet and steamed away. The sea
was perfectly smooth, and painfully brilliant in the sunshine. There
were no curiosities in the vessel except the passengers and a
placard in French setting forth the transportation fares for various
kinds of people. The lithographer probably considered that placard a
triumph. It was printed in green, blue, red, black, and yellow; no
individual line in one color, even the individual letters were
separately colored. For instance, the first letter of a word would be
blue, the next red, the next green, and so on. The placard looked as
if it had the smallpox or something. I inquired the artist’s name and
place of business, intending to hunt him up and kill him when I had
time; but no one could tell me. In the list of prices first-class
passengers were set down at fifteen shillings and four pence, and
dead bodies at one pound ten shillings and eight pence--just double
price! That is Belgian morals, I suppose. I never say a harsh thing
unless I am greatly stirred; but in my opinion the man who would
take advantage of a dead person would do almost any odious thing. I
publish this scandalous discrimination against the most helpless
class among us in order that people intending to die abroad may
come back by some other line.
We skimmed over to Ostend in four hours and went ashore. The
first gentleman we saw happened to be the flag lieutenant of the
fleet, and he told me where the Lively lay, and said she would sail
about six in the morning. Heavens and earth. He said he would give
my letter to the proper authority, and so we thanked him and bore
away for the hotel. Bore away is good sailor phraseology, and I have
been at sea portions of two days now. I easily pick up a foreign
language.
Ostend is a curious, comfortable-looking, massively built town,
where the people speak both the French and the Flemish with
exceeding fluency, and yet I could not understand them in either
tongue. But I will write the rest about Ostend in to-morrow’s letter.
We idled about this curious Ostend the remainder of the afternoon
and far into the long-lived twilight, apparently to amuse ourselves,
but secretly I had a deeper motive. I wanted to see if there was
anything here that might “impress the Shah.” In the end I was
reassured and content. If Ostend could impress him, England could
amaze the head clear off his shoulders and have marvels left that
not even the trunk could be indifferent to.
These citizens of Flanders--Flounders, I think they call them,
though I feel sure I have eaten a creature of that name or seen it in
an aquarium or a menagerie, or in a picture or somewhere--are a
thrifty, industrious race, and are as commercially wise and farsighted
as they were in Edward the Third’s time, and as enduring and patient
under adversity as they were in Charles the Bold’s. They are prolific
in the matter of children; in some of the narrow streets every house
seemed to have had a freshet of children, which had burst through
and overflowed into the roadway. One could hardly get along for the
pack of juveniles, and they were all soiled and all healthy. They all
wore wooden shoes, which clattered noisily on the stone pavements.
All the women were hard at work; there were no idlers about the
houses. The men were away at labor, no doubt. In nearly every door
women sat at needlework or something of that marketable nature--
they were knitting principally. Many groups of women sat in the
street, in the shade of walls, making point lace. The lace maker
holds a sort of pillow on her knees with a strip of cardboard fastened
on it, on which the lace pattern has been punctured. She sticks
bunches of pins in the punctures and about them weaves her web of
threads. The numberless threads diverge from the bunch of pins like
the spokes of a wheel, and the spools from which the threads are
being unwound form the outer circle of the wheel. The woman
throws these spools about her with flying fingers, in and out, over
and under one another, and so fast that you can hardly follow the
evolutions with your eyes. In the chaos and confusion of skipping
spools you wonder how she can possibly pick up the right one every
time, and especially how she can go on gossiping with her friends all
the time and yet never seem to miss a stitch. The laces these
ingenious Flounders were making were very dainty and delicate in
texture and very beautiful in design.
Most of the shops in Ostend seemed devoted to the sale of sea
shells. All sorts of figures of men and women were made of shells;
one sort was composed of grotesque and ingenious combinations of
lobster claws in the human form. And they had other figures made of
stuffed frogs--some fencing, some barbering each other, and some
were not to be described at all without indecent language. It must
require a barbarian nature to be able to find humor in such
nauseating horrors as these last. These things were exposed in the
public windows where young girls and little children could see them,
and in the shops sat the usual hairy-lipped young woman waiting to
sell them.
There was a contrivance attached to the better class of houses
which I had heard of before, but never seen. It was an arrangement
of mirrors outside the window, so contrived that the people within
could see who was coming either up or down the street--see all that
might be going on, in fact--without opening the window or twisting
themselves into uncomfortable positions in order to look.
A capital thing to watch for unwelcome (or welcome) visitors with,
or to observe pageants in cold or rainy weather. People in second
and third stories had, also, another mirror which showed who was
passing underneath.
The dining room at our hotel was very spacious and rather
gorgeous. One end of it was composed almost entirely of a single
pane of plate glass, some two inches thick--for this is the plate-glass
manufacturing region, you remember. It was very clear and fine. If
one were to enter the place in such a way as not to catch the sheen
of the glass, he would suppose that the end of the house was wide
open to the sun and the storms. A strange boyhood instinct came
strongly upon me, and I could not really enjoy my dinner, I wanted to
break that glass so badly. I have no doubt that every man feels so,
and I know that such a glass must be simply torture to a boy.
This dining room’s walls were almost completely covered with
large oil paintings in frames.
It was an excellent hotel; the utmost care was taken that
everything should go right. I went to bed at ten and was called at
eleven to “take the early train.” I said I was not the one, so the
servant stirred up the next door and he was not the one; then the
next door and the next--no success--and so on till the reverberations
of the knocking were lost in the distance down the hall, and I fell
asleep again. They called me at twelve to take another early train,
but I said I was not the one again, and asked as a favor that they
would be particular to call the rest next time, but never mind me.
However, they could not understand my English; they only said
something in reply to signify that, and then went on banging up the
boarders, none of whom desired to take the early train.
When they called me at one, it made my rest seem very broken,
and I said if they would skip me at two I would call myself--not really
intending to do it, but hoping to beguile the porter and deceive him.
He probably suspected that and was afraid to trust me, because
when he made his rounds at that hour he did not take any chances
on me, but routed me out along with the others. I got some more
sleep after that, but when the porter called me at three I felt
depressed and jaded and greatly discouraged. So I gave it up and
dressed myself. The porter got me a cup of coffee and kept me
awake while I drank it. He was a good, well-meaning sort of
Flounder, but really a drawback to the hotel, I should think.
Poor Mr. Blank came in then, looking worn and old. He had been
called for all the different trains, too, just as I had. He said it was a
good enough hotel, but they took too much pains. While we sat there
talking we fell asleep and were called again at four. Then we went
out and dozed about town till six, and then drifted aboard the Lively.
She was trim and bright, and clean and smart; she was as
handsome as a picture. The sailors were in brand-new man-of-war
costume, and plenty of officers were about the decks in the state
uniform of the service--cocked hats, huge epaulettes, claw-hammer
coats lined with white silk--hats and coats and trousers all splendid
with gold lace. I judged that these were all admirals, and so got
afraid and went ashore again. Our vessel was to carry the Shah’s
brother, also the Grand Vizier, several Persian princes, who were
uncles to the Shah, and other dignitaries of more or less
consequence. A vessel alongside was to carry the luggage, and a
vessel just ahead (the Vigilant) was to carry nobody but just the
Shah and certain Ministers of State and servants and the Queen’s
special ambassador, Sir Henry Rawlinson, who is a Persian scholar
and talks to the Shah in his own tongue.
I was very glad, for several reasons, to find that I was not to go in
the same ship with the Shah. First, with him not immediately under
my eye I would feel less responsibility for him; and, secondly, as I
was anxious to impress him, I wanted to practice on his brother first.

THE SHAH’S QUARTERS

On the afterdeck of the Vigilant--very handsome ship--a temporary


cabin had been constructed for the sole and special use of the Shah,
temporary but charmingly substantial and graceful and pretty. It was
about thirty feet long and twelve wide, beautifully gilded, decorated
and painted within and without. Among its colors was a shade of light
green, which reminds me of an anecdote about the Persian party,
which I will speak of in to-morrow’s letter.
It was getting along toward the time for the Shah to arrive from
Brussels, so I ranged up alongside my own ship. I do not know when
I ever felt so ill at ease and undecided. It was a sealed letter which I
had brought from the Admiralty, and I could not guess what the
purport of it might be. I supposed I was intended to command the
ship--that is, I had supposed it at first, but, after seeing all those
splendid officers, I had discarded that idea. I cogitated a good deal,
but to no purpose. Presently a regiment of Belgian troops arrived
and formed in line along the pier. Then a number of people began to
spread down carpets for fifty yards along the pier, by the railway
track, and other carpets were laid from these to the ships. The
gangway leading on board my ship was now carpeted and its railings
were draped with bright-colored signal flags. It began to look as if I
was expected; so I walked on board. A sailor immediately ran and
stopped me, and made another sailor bring a mop for me to wipe my
feet on, lest I might soil the deck, which was wonderfully clean and
nice. Evidently I was not the person expected, after all. I pointed to
the group of officers and asked the sailor what the naval law would
do to a man if he were to go and speak to some of those admirals--
for there was an awful air of etiquette and punctilio about the
premises; but just then one of those officers came forward and said
that if his instinct was correct an Admiralty order had been received
giving me a passage in the ship; and he also said that he was the
first lieutenant, and that I was very welcome and he would take pains
to make me feel at home, and furthermore there was champagne
and soda waiting down below; and furthermore still, all the London
correspondents, to the number of six or seven, would arrive from
Brussels with the Shah, and would go in our ship, and if our passage
were not a lively one, and a jolly and enjoyable one, it would be a
very strange thing indeed. I could have jumped for joy if I had not
been afraid of breaking some rule of naval etiquette and getting
hanged for it.
Now the train was signaled, and everybody got ready for the great
event. The Belgian regiment straightened itself up, and some two
hundred Flounders arrived and took conspicuous position on a little
mound. I was a little afraid that this would impress the Shah; but I
was soon occupied with other interests. The train of thirteen cars
came tearing in, and stopped abreast the ships. Music and guns
began an uproar. Odd-looking Persian faces and felt hats (brimless
stovepipes) appeared at the car windows.
Some gorgeous English officials fled down the carpet from the
Vigilant. They stopped at a long car with the royal arms upon it,
uncovered their heads, and unlocked the car door. Then the Shah
stood up in it and gave us a good view. He was a handsome, strong-
featured man, with a rather European fairness of complexion; had a
mustache, wore spectacles, seemed of a good height and graceful
build and carriage, and looked about forty or a shade less. He was
very simply dressed--brimless stovepipe and close-buttoned dark-
green military suit, without ornament. No, not wholly without
ornament, for he had a band two inches wide worn over his shoulder
and down across his breast, scarf fashion, which band was one solid
glory of fine diamonds.
A Persian official appeared in the Shah’s rear and enveloped him
in an ample quilt--or cloak, if you please--which was lined with fur.
The outside of it was of a whitish color and elaborately needle-
worked in Persian patterns like an India shawl. The Shah stepped
out and the official procession formed about him and marched him
down the carpet and on board the Vigilant to slow music. Not a
Flounder raised a cheer. All the small fry swarmed out of the train
now.
The Shah walked back alongside his fine cabin, looking at the
assemblage of silent, solemn Flounders; the correspondent of the
London Telegraph was hurrying along the pier and took off his hat
and bowed to the “King of Kings,” and the King of Kings gave a polite
military salute in return. This was the commencement of the
excitement. The success of the breathless Telegraph man made all
the other London correspondents mad, every man of whom
flourished his stovepipe recklessly and cheered lustily, some of the
more enthusiastic varying the exercise by lowering their heads and
elevating their coat tails. Seeing all this, and feeling that if I was to
“impress the Shah” at all, now was my time, I ventured a little
squeaky yell, quite distinct from the other shouts, but just as hearty.
His Shahship heard and saw and saluted me in a manner that was, I
considered, an acknowledgment of my superior importance. I do not
know that I ever felt so ostentatious and absurd before. All the
correspondents came aboard, and then the Persian baggage came
also, and was carried across to the ship alongside of ours. When she
could hold no more we took somewhere about a hundred trunks and
boxes on board our vessel. Two boxes fell into the water, and
several sailors jumped in and saved one, but the other was lost.
However, it probably contained nothing but a few hundred pounds of
diamonds and things.
At last we got under way and steamed out through a long slip, the
piers on either side being crowded with Flounders; but never a
cheer. A battery of three guns on the starboard pier boomed a royal
salute, and we swept out to sea, the Vigilant in the lead, we right in
her wake, and the baggage ship in ours. Within fifteen minutes
everybody was well acquainted; a general jollification set in, and I
was thoroughly glad I had come over to fetch the Shah.
II
MARK TWAIN EXECUTES HIS CONTRACT AND
DELIVERS
THE SHAH IN LONDON
London, June 19, 1873.

SOME PERSIAN FINERY

Leaving Ostend, we went out to sea under a clear sky and upon
smooth water--so smooth, indeed, that its surface was scarcely
rippled. I say the sky was clear, and so it was, clear and sunny; but a
rich haze lay upon the water in the distance--a soft, mellow mist,
through which a scattering sail or two loomed vaguely. One may call
such a morning perfect.
The corps of correspondents were well jaded with their railway
journey, but after champagne and soda downstairs with the officers,
everybody came up refreshed and cheery and exceedingly well
acquainted all around. The Persian grandees had meantime taken
up a position in a glass house on the afterdeck, and were sipping
coffee in a grave, Oriental way. They all had much lighter
complexions and a more European cast of features than I was
prepared for, and several of them were exceedingly handsome, fine-
looking men.
They all sat in a circle on a sofa (the deckhouse being circular),
and they made a right gaudy spectacle. Their breasts were
completely crusted with gold bullion embroidery of a pattern
resembling frayed and interlacing ferns, and they had large jeweled
ornaments on their breasts also. The Grand Vizier came out to have
a look around. In addition to the sumptuous gold fernery on his
breast he wore a jeweled star as large as the palm of my hand, and
about his neck hung the Shah’s miniature, reposing in a bed of
diamonds, that gleamed and flashed in a wonderful way when
touched by the sunlight. It was said that to receive the Shah’s portrait
from the Shah was the highest compliment that could be conferred
upon a Persian subject. I did not care so much about the diamonds,
but I would have liked to have the portrait very much. The Grand
Vizier’s sword hilt and the whole back of the sheath from end to end
were composed of a neat and simple combination of some twelve or
fifteen thousand emeralds and diamonds.

“IMPRESSING” A PERSIAN GENERAL

Several of the Persians talked French and English. One of them,


who was said to be a general, came up on the bridge where some of
us were standing, pointed to a sailor, and asked me if I could tell him
what that sailor was doing?
I said he was communicating with the other ships by means of the
optical telegraph--that by using the three sticks the whole alphabet
could be expressed. I showed him how A, B and C were made, and
so forth. Good! This Persian was “impressed”! He showed it by his
eyes, by his gestures, by his manifest surprise and delight. I said to
myself, if the Shah were only here now, the grand desire of Great
Britain could be accomplished. The general immediately called the
other grandees and told them about this telegraphic wonder. Then
he said:
“Now does everyone on board acquire this knowledge?”
“No, only the officers.”
“And this sailor?”
“He is only the signalman. Two or three sailors on board are
detailed for this service, and by order and direction of the officers
they communicate with the other ships.”
“Very good! very fine! Very great indeed!”
These men were unquestionably impressed. I got the sailor to
bring the signal book, and the matter was fully explained, to their
high astonishment; also the flag signals, and likewise the lamp
signals for night telegraphing. Of course, the idea came into my
head, in the first place, to ask one of the officers to conduct this bit of
instruction, but I at once dismissed it. I judged that this would all go
to the Shah, sooner or later. I had come over on purpose to “impress
the Shah,” and I was not going to throw away my opportunity. I
wished the Queen had been there; I would have been knighted,
sure. You see, they knight people here for all sorts of things--knight
them, or put them into the peerage and make great personages of
them. Now, for instance, a king comes over here on a visit; the Lord
Mayor and sheriffs do him becoming honors in the city, and
straightway the former is created a baronet and the latter are
knighted. When the Prince of Wales recovered from his illness one of
his chief physicians was made a baronet and the other was knighted.
Charles II made duchesses of one or two female acquaintances of
his for something or other--I have forgotten now what it was. A
London shoe-maker’s apprentice became a great soldier--indeed, a
Wellington--won prodigious victories in many climes and covered the
British arms with glory all through a long life; and when he was 187
years old they knighted him and made him Constable of the Tower.
But he died next year and they buried him in Westminster Abbey.
There is no telling what that man might have become if he had lived.
So you see what a chance I had; for I have no doubt in the world that
I have been the humble instrument, under Providence, of
“impressing the Shah.” And I really believe that if the Queen comes
to hear of it I shall be made a duke.
Friends intending to write will not need to be reminded that a duke
is addressed as “Your Grace”; it is considered a great offense to
leave that off.

A PICTURESQUE NAVAL SPECTACLE

When we were a mile or so out from Ostend conversation ceased,


an expectant look came into all faces, and opera glasses began to
stand out from above all noses. This impressive hush lasted a few
minutes, and then some one said:
“There they are!”
“Where?”
“Away yonder ahead--straight ahead.”
Which was true. Three huge shapes smothered in the haze--the
Vanguard, the Audacious, and the Devastation--all great ironclads.
They were to do escort duty. The officers and correspondents
gathered on the forecastle and waited for the next act. A red spout of
fire issued from the Vanguard’s side, another flashed from the
Audacious. Beautiful these red tongues were against the dark haze.
Then there was a long pause--ever so long a pause and not a
sound, not the suspicion of a sound; and now, out of the stillness,
came a deep, solemn “boom! boom!” It had not occurred to me that
at so great a distance I would not hear the report as soon as I saw
the flash. The two crimson jets were very beautiful, but not more so
than the rolling volumes of white smoke that plunged after them,
rested a moment over the water, and then went wreathing and
curling up among the webbed rigging and the tall masts, and left only
glimpses of these things visible, high up in the air, projecting as if
from a fog.
Now the flashes came thick and fast from the black sides of both
vessels. The muffled thunders of the guns mingled together in one
continued roll, the two ships were lost to sight, and in their places
two mountains of tumbled smoke rested upon the motionless water,
their bases in the hazy twilight and their summits shining in the sun.
It was good to be there and see so fine a spectacle as that.

THE NAVAL SALUTE

We closed up fast upon the ironclads. They fell apart to let our
flotilla come between, and as the Vigilant ranged up the rigging of
the ironclads was manned to salute the Shah. And, indeed, that was
something to see. The shrouds, from the decks clear to the trucks,
away up toward the sky, were black with men. On the lower rounds
of these rope ladders they stood five abreast, holding each other’s
hands, and so the tapering shrouds formed attenuated pyramids of
humanity, six pyramids of them towering into the upper air, and clear
up on the top of each dizzy mast stood a little creature like a clothes
pin--a mere black peg against the sky--and that mite was a sailor
waving a flag like a postage stamp. All at once the pyramids of men
burst into a cheer, and followed it with two more, given with a will;
and if the Shah was not impressed he must be the offspring of a
mummy.
And just at this moment, while we all stood there gazing---
However breakfast was announced and I did not wait to see.

THE THIRTY-FOUR-TON GUNS SPEAK

If there is one thing that is pleasanter than another it is to take


breakfast in the wardroom with a dozen naval officers. Of course,
that awe-inspiring monarch, the captain, is aft, keeping frozen state
with the Grand Viziers when there are any on board, and so there is
nobody in the wardroom to maintain naval etiquette. As a
consequence none is maintained. One officer, in a splendid uniform,
snatches a champagne bottle from a steward and opens it himself;
another keeps the servants moving; another opens soda; everybody
eats, drinks, shouts, laughs in the most unconstrained way, and it
does seem a pity that ever the thing should come to an end. No
individual present seemed sorry he was not in the ship with the
Shah. When the festivities had been going on about an hour, some
tremendous booming was heard outside. Now here was a question
between duty and broiled chicken. What might that booming mean?
Anguish sat upon the faces of the correspondents. I watched to see
what they would do, and the precious moments were flying.
Somebody cried down a companionway:
“The Devastation is saluting!”
The correspondents tumbled over one another, over chairs, over
everything in their frenzy to get on deck, and the last gun
reverberated as the last heel disappeared on the stairs. The
Devastation, the pride of England, the mightiest war vessel afloat,
carrying guns that outweigh any metal in any service, it is said (thirty-
five tons each), and these boys had missed that spectacle--at least I
knew that some of them had. I did not go. Age has taught me
wisdom. If a spectacle is going to be particularly imposing I prefer to
see it through somebody else’s eyes, because that man will always
exaggerate. Then I can exaggerate his exaggeration, and my
account of the thing will be the most impressive.
But I felt that I had missed my figure this time, because I was not
sure which of these gentlemen reached the deck in time for a
glimpse and which didn’t. And this morning I cannot tell by the
London papers. They all have imposing descriptions of that thing,
and no one of them resembles another. Mr. X’s is perhaps the finest,
but he was singing a song about “Spring, Spring, Gentle Spring,” all
through the bombardment, and was overexcited, I fear.
The next best was Mr. Y’s; but he was telling about how he took a
Russian battery, along with another man, during the Crimean War,
and he was not fairly through the story till the salute was over,
though I remember he went up and saw the smoke. I will not frame a
description of the Devastation’s salute, for I have no material that I
can feel sure is reliable.

THE GRAND SPECTACULAR CLIMAX

When we first sailed away from Ostend I found myself in a


dilemma; I had no notebook. But “any port in a storm,” as the sailors
say. I found a fair, full pack of ordinary playing cards in my overcoat
pocket--one always likes to have something along to amuse children
with--and really they proved excellent to take notes on, although
bystanders were a bit inclined to poke fun at them and ask facetious
questions. But I was content; I made all the notes I needed. The
aces and low “spot” cards are very good indeed to write memoranda
on, but I will not recommend the Kings and Jacks.

SPEAKING BY THE CARDS

Referring to the seven of hearts, I find that this naval exhibition


and journey from Ostend to Dover is going to cost the government
£500,000. Got it from a correspondent. It is a round sum.
Referring to the ace of diamonds, I find that along in the afternoon
we sighted a fresh fleet of men-of-war coming to meet us. The rest of
the diamonds, down to the eight spot (nines and tens are no good for
notes) are taken up with details of that spectacle. Most of the clubs
and hearts refer to matters immediately following that, but I really
can hardly do anything with them because I have forgotten what was
trumps.

THE SPECTACLE
But never mind. The sea scene grew little by little, until presently it
was very imposing. We drew up into the midst of a waiting host of
vessels. Enormous five-masted men-of-war, great turret ships, steam
packets, pleasure yachts--every sort of craft, indeed--the sea was
thick with them; the yards and riggings of the warships loaded with
men, the packets crowded with people, the pleasure ships
rainbowed with brilliant flags all over and over--some with flags
strung thick on lines stretching from bowsprit to foremast, thence to
mainmast, thence to mizzenmast, and thence to stern. All the ships
were in motion--gliding hither and thither, in and out, mingling and
parting--a bewildering whirl of flash and color. Our leader, the vast,
black, ugly, but very formidable Devastation, plowed straight through
the gay throng, our Shah-ships following, the lines of big men-of-war
saluting, the booming of the guns drowning the cheering, stately
islands of smoke towering everywhere. And so, in this condition of
unspeakable grandeur, we swept into the harbor of Dover, and saw
the English princes and the long ranks of red-coated soldiers waiting
on the pier, civilian multitudes behind them, the lofty hill front by the
castle swarming with spectators, and there was the crash of cannon
and a general hurrah all through the air. It was rather a contrast to
silent Ostend and the unimpressible Flanders.

THE SHAH “IMPRESSED” AT LAST

The Duke of Edinburgh and Prince Arthur received the Shah in


state, and then all of us--princes, Shahs, ambassadors, Grand
Viziers and newspaper correspondents--climbed aboard the train
and started off to London just like so many brothers.
From Dover to London it was a sight to see. Seventy miles of
human beings in a jam--the gaps were not worth mentioning--and
every man, woman, and child waving hat or handkerchief and
cheering. I wondered--could not tell--could not be sure--could only
wonder--would this “impress the Shah”? I would have given anything
to know. But--well, it ought--but--still one could not tell.
And by and by we burst into the London Railway station--a very
large station it is--and found it wonderfully decorated and all the
neighboring streets packed with cheering citizens. Would this
impress the Shah? I--I--well, I could not yet feel certain.
The Prince of Wales received the Shah--ah, you should have seen
how gorgeously the Shah was dressed now--he was like the sun in a
total eclipse of rainbows--yes, the Prince received him, put him in a
grand open carriage, got in and made him sit over further and not
“crowd,” the carriage clattered out of the station, all London fell apart
on either side and lifted a perfectly national cheer, and just at that
instant the bottom fell out of the sky and forty deluges came pouring
down at once!
The great strain was over, the crushing suspense at an end. I said,
“Thank God, this will impress the Shah.”
Now came the long files of Horse Guards in silver armor. We took
the great Persian to Buckingham Palace. I never stirred till I saw the
gates open and close upon him with my own eyes and knew he was
there. Then I said:
“England, here is your Shah; take him and be happy, but don’t
ever ask me to fetch over another one.”
This contract has been pretty straining on me.
III
THE SHAH AS A SOCIAL STAR
London, June 21, 1873.

After delivering the Shah at the gates of that unsightly pile of


dreary grandeur known as Buckingham Palace I cast all
responsibility for him aside for the time being, and experienced a
sense of relief and likewise an honest pride in my success, such as
no man can feel who has not had a Shah at nurse (so to speak) for
three days.
It is said by those who ought to know that when Buckingham
Palace was being fitted up as a home for the Shah one of the chief
rooms was adorned with a rich carpet which had been designed and
manufactured especially to charm the eye of His Majesty. The story
goes on to say that a couple of the Persian suite came here a week
ago to see that all things were in readiness and nothing overlooked,
and that when they reached that particular room and glanced at the
lovely combination of green figures and white ones in that carpet
they gathered their robes carefully up about their knees and then
went elaborately tiptoeing about the floor with the aspect and anxiety
of a couple of cats hunting for dry ground in a wet country, and they
stepped only on the white figures and almost fainted whenever they
came near touching a green one. It is said that the explanation is
that these visiting Persians are all Mohammedans, and green being
a color sacred to the descendants of the Prophet, and none of these
people being so descended, it would be dreadful profanation for
them to defile the holy color with their feet. And the general result of
it all was that carpet had to be taken up and is a dead loss.
Man is a singular sort of human being, after all, and his religion
does not always adorn him. Now, our religion is the right one, and
has fewer odd and striking features than any other; and yet my
ancestors used to roast Catholics and witches and warm their hands
by the fire; but they would be blanched with horror at the bare
thought of breaking the Sabbath, and here is a Persian monarch who
never sees any impropriety in chopping a subject’s head off for the
mere misdemeanor of calling him too early for breakfast, and yet
would be consumed with pious remorse if unheeding foot were to
chance to step upon anything so green as you or I, my reader.
Oriental peoples say that women have no souls to save and,
almost without my memory, many American Protestants said the
same of babies. I thought there was a wide gulf between the
Persians and ourselves, but I begin to feel that they are really our
brothers after all.
After a day’s rest the Shah went to Windsor Castle and called on
the Queen. What that suggests to the reader’s mind is this:--That the
Shah took a hand satchel and an umbrella, called a cab and said he
wanted to go to the Paddington station; that when he arrived there
the driver charged him sixpence too much, and he paid it rather than
have trouble; that he tried now to buy a ticket, and was answered by
a ticket seller as surly as a hotel clerk that he was not selling tickets
for that train yet; that he finally got his ticket, and was beguiled of his
satchel by a railway porter at once, who put it into a first-class
carriage and got a sixpence, which the company forbids him to
receive; that presently when the guard (or conductor) of the train
came along the Shah slipped a shilling into his hand and said he
wanted to smoke, and straightway the guard signified that it was all
right; that when the Shah arrived at Windsor Castle he rang the bell,
and when the girl came to the door asked her if the Queen was at
home, and she left him standing in the hall and went to see; that by
and by she returned and said would he please sit down in the front
room and Mrs. Guelph would be down directly; that he hung his hat
on the hatrack, stood his umbrella up in the corner, entered the front
room and sat down on a haircloth chair; that he waited and waited
and got tired; that he got up and examined the old piano, the
depressing lithographs on the walls and the album of photographs of
faded country relatives on the center table, and was just about to fall
back on the family Bible when the Queen entered briskly and begged
him to sit down and apologized for keeping him waiting, but she had
just got a new girl and everything was upside down, and so forth and

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