DEFINITION

Counselling is defined as a process where an individual, couple or family meet with a trained
professional counsellor to talk about issues and problems (Mostly psychological) that are facing
their lives and the counsellor tries to help them overcome these problems.

Helping relationship is a relationship in which at least one of the parties intends to promote the
growth, development, maturity, or improved functioning of the other. The parties may be either
individuals or groups. [defined in 1961 by Carl Rogers]

Sometimes, the term helper is used as a generic term to cover all those engaged in using
counselling and helping skills, be they counselling and psychotherapy professionals or otherwise.
However, increasingly the professionalization of counselling and psychotherapy makes such
usage inaccurate. Here the term ‘helper’ is used in a more restricted sense to include all those
people who offer counselling skills to other people, yet who are not qualified and accredited
counsellors, psychotherapists or their equivalent. This introductory book is highly relevant to all
such people in addition to those training to become professional counsellors and therapists.

Paraprofessional counsellors are trained in counselling skills, but at a level that falls short of
professional counselling or psychotherapy accreditation. For example, some nurses have attended
a number of counselling courses and may be skilled at dealing with the problems of specific
categories of patients. People with such backgrounds might be called counsellors in their work
settings, for example nurse counsellors. Alternatively, they might remain being called nurses.
However, if the term ‘counsellor’ in a given context is limited only to those with recognized
specialist professional qualifications and accreditation in the area, nurses doing paraprofessional
counselling should be categorized as helpers, despite the quality of their skills.

Characteristics of Helping Relationship

• It is a relationship initially structured by the counselor or therapist but open to cooperative

restructuring based on the needs of the client.

• A relationship that begins with the initial meeting and continues through termination.

• A relationship in which all persons involved perceive the existence of trust, caring, concern, and
commitment and act accordingly.

• A relationship in which the needs of the client are given priority over the needs of the counselor
or therapist.

 A relationship that provides for the personal growth of all persons involved.

• A relationship that provides the safety needed for self-exploration of all persons involved.

• A relationship that promotes the potential of all persons involved.

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The major responsibility in creating this relationship rests initially with the counselor or therapist,
with increasing demands for client involvement and commitment over time. It is a shared
process, and only through such shared efforts will this relationship develop and flourish. This
development evolves in stages that take the relationship from initiation to closure.

Stages in Helping Relationship

Stage 1: Relationship development. This stage includes the initial meeting of client and
counselor or therapist, rapport building, information gathering, goal determination, and informing
the client about the conditions under which counseling will take place (e.g., confidentiality,
taping, counselor/therapist/client roles).

Stage 2: Extended exploration. This stage builds on the foundation established in the first stage.
Through selected techniques, theoretical approaches, and strategies, the counselor or therapist
explores in depth the emotional and cognitive dynamics of the person of the client, problem
parameters, previously tried solutions, decision making capabilities, and a reevaluation of the
goals determined in Stage 1.

Stage 3: Problem resolution. This stage, which depends on information gained during the
previous two stages, is characterized by increased activity for all parties involved. The
counselor's or therapist's activities include facilitating, demonstrating, instructing, and providing
a safe environment for the development of change. The client's activities focus on reevaluation,
emotional and cognitive dynamics, trying out new behaviors (both inside and outside of the
sessions, and discarding those that do not meet goals.

Stage 4: Termination and follow-up. This stage is the closing stage of the helping relationship
and is cooperatively determined by all persons involved. Methods and procedures for follow-up
are determined prior to the last meeting.

It is important to keep in mind that people do not automatically move through these identified
stages in a lockstep manner. The relationship may end at any one of these stages based on
decisions made by the client, the counselor or therapist, or both. Nor is it possible to identify the
amount of time that should be devoted to any particular stage. With certain clients, much more
time will need to be devoted to specific stages. D. Brown and Srebalus (1988), in addressing the
tentative nature of these relationship stages, have the following cautions:

It is important to note that many clients, for one reason or another, will not complete all the
stages of counseling. The process will be abandoned prematurely, not because something went
wrong, but because of factors external to the counselor-client relationship. For example, the
school year may end for a student client, or a client or counselor may move away to accept a new
job. When counseling is in process and must abruptly end, the participants will feel the
incompleteness and loss.

Strategies of Helping Relationship

Strategies refer to skills gained through education and experience that define and direct what
counselors or therapists do within the relationship to attain specific results and to move the
helping relationship from problem identification to problem resolution.
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 1. Strategies that Build Rapport and Encourage Client Dialogue

Attending and Encouraging: These strategies use the counselor's or therapist's posture, visual
contact, gestures, facial expressions, and words to indicate to clients not only that they are being
heard but also that the counselor or therapist wishes them to continue sharing information.

Restating and Paraphrasing: These strategies enable a counselor or therapist to serve as a

sounding board for the client by feeding back thoughts and feelings that clients verbalize.
Restating involves repeating the exact words used by the client. Paraphrasing repeats, the
thoughts and feelings of the client, but the words are those of the counselor or therapist.

Reflecting Content and Reflecting Feeling: These strategies enable the counselor or therapist to
provide feedback to the client regarding both the ideas (content) and the emotions (feelings) that
the client is expressing. By reflecting content, the counselor or therapist shares his or her
perceptions of the thoughts that the client is expressing. This can be done either by using the
client's words or by changing the words to better reflect the counselor's or therapist's perceptions.
By reflecting feelings, a counselor or therapist goes beyond the ideas and thoughts expressed by
the client and responds to the feelings or emotions behind those words.

Summarizing: This strategy enables the counselor or therapist to do several things: first, to
verbally review various types of information that have been presented to this point in the session;
second, to highlight what the counselor or therapist sees as significant information based on
everything that has been discussed; and third, to provide the client with an opportunity to hear the
various issues that he or she has presented. Therefore, summarizing provides both the client and
the counselor with the opportunity not only to review and determine the significance of
information presented but also to use this review to establish priorities.

2. Strategies that Aid in Data Gathering

Questioning: This strategy, when done in an open manner, enables the counselor or therapist to
gain important information and allows the client to remain in control of the information
presented. Using open questioning, the counselor or therapist designs these questions to
encourage the broadest client responses. Open questions, as opposed to closed questions,
generally cannot be completely answered by either yes or no, nor can they be answered
nonverbally by shaking the head. This type of questioning places responsibility with clients and
allows them a degree of control over what information will be shared.

Probing and Leading: These strategies enable a counselor or therapist to gather information in a
specific area related to the client's presented concerns (probing) or to encourage the client to
respond to specific topic areas (leading). Each of these enables the counselor or therapist to
explore at greater depth areas that are seen as important to progress within the session.

3. Strategies That Add Depth and Enhance the Relationship

Group of strategies is used to enhance and expand the communicative and relationship patterns
that are established early in the counseling or therapeutic process.

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Self-Disclosure: This strategy has implications for both clients and counselors or therapists. In
self-disclosing, the counselor or therapist shares with the client his or her feelings, thoughts, and
experiences that are relevant to the situation presented by the client. The counselor or therapist
draws upon situations from his or her own life experiences and selectively shares these personal
reactions with the client. It is important to note that self-disclosure could have both a positive and
a negative impact on the helping relationship, and care must be taken in measuring the impact it
may have. From a positive perspective, self-disclosure carries with it the possibility of modeling
self-disclosure for the client or helping the client gain a different perspective on the presenting
problems. From a negative perspective, self-disclosure might place the focus on the counselor's
or therapist's issues rather than on those of the client. When used appropriately, gains are made
by all persons involved, and the relationship moves to deeper levels of understanding and
sharing.

Confrontation: This strategy enables the counselor or therapist to provide the client with
feedback in which discrepancies are presented in an honest and matter-of-fact manner. A
counselor or therapist uses this strategy to indicate his or her reaction to the client, to identify
differences between the client's words and behaviors, and to challenge the client to put words and
ideas into action. This type of direct and honest feedback should provide the client with insight as
to how he or she is perceived, as well as indicate the degree of counselor or therapist caring.

Responding to Nonverbal Cues: This strategy enables a counselor or therapist to go beyond a

client's words and respond to the messages that are being communicated by the client's physical
actions. Care must be taken not to overgeneralize every subtle body movement. The counselor or
therapist is looking for patterns that either confirm or deny the truth in the words the client uses
to express him- or herself. When such patterns become apparent, it is the responsibility of the
counselor or therapist to share these patterns with the client. It becomes the client's responsibility
to confirm or deny the credibility of the perception.

Cross-Cultural Considerations: A final factor that affects the helping relationship is cultural
diversity. Awareness of cultural diversity addresses the counselor's or therapist's openness and
motivation to understand more about his or her own diversity as well as the cultural differences
that clients bring to the helping relationship. Such understanding is often characterized as the
cornerstone on which the helping relationship rests.

Brief Approaches of Helping Relationship

According to R. Lewis (2005), approximately 50 brief approaches exist in the literature. Many of
these are tied into existing theoretical systems, for example, rational emotive behavior therapy,
reality therapy, psychodrama, and Adlerian therapy. A few stand alone as developing theoretical
and therapeutic approaches, for example, brief problem-focused therapy, brief solution-focused
therapy, and solution-oriented. Based on the existence of many different brief approaches, it is
important to look at certain factors that seem to be common across these approaches. Cooper
(1995) offered the following eight technical features found in various forms of brief counseling:

1. Keep a clear and specific treatment focus.

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2. Use time conscientiously.

3. Limit goals and clearly define outcomes.

4. Place emphasis on the present and here and now.

5. Assess rapidly and integrate this into treatment.

6. Review progress frequently and discard ineffective interventions.

7. Maintain a high level of therapist-client collaboration.

8. Be pragmatic and flexible in technique use.

Brief Problem-Focused Therapy

Brief problem-focused therapy was founded at the Mental Research Institute in Palo Alto,
California. In 1966, Richard Fisch opened the Brief Therapy Center with the main purpose of
finding what therapeutic results could occur in a period of a maximum of 10 one-hour sessions.
These sessions focused on the main presenting problem, used active techniques to promote
change, and searched for the minimum change required to resolve the problem (R. Lewis, 2005).
The therapeutic goal was on resolving the presenting problem as it occurs between people with
emphasis placed on change and outcomes, not knowledge, insight, or other such concerns. It was
assumed that change would be easier if people did something differently.

According to Fisch, Weakland, and Segal (1982), clients come to therapy for the following
reasons: (a) Clients are concerned about behavior, actions, thoughts, or feelings of themselves or
someone with whom they are involved; (b) clients describe the problem as deviant in the sense of
being unusual or inappropriate; (c) clients' efforts to stop or change the behavior have been
unsuccessful; and (d) clients seek professional help as they have not been able to make changes
on their own. Clients want change, but the problem formation and problem maintenance form a
vicious circle leaving them stuck. In fact, the clients' misinterpretation of ordinary life difficulties
and their unsuccessful attempts at a solution often aggravate the problem. On the basis of these
assumptions, the therapeutic goals for the brief problem-focused therapy approach are to interrupt
this vicious circle and initiate resolution of the problem by assessing where clients are stuck,
what they are doing to get unstuck, and to stop them from doing what they see as logical.

Therapists should keep an open mind on giving solutions because the solutions attempted by
clients maintain and perpetuate the problem, interventions are directed toward helping clients
depart from these solutions either by stopping the problem-maintaining behavior or by altering
the clients' view of the problem so that it is no longer viewed as a problem. Counselors or
therapists, using this approach, view problems arising from the following five basic solutions that
clients tend to maintain: (a) attempting to force something that can occur spontaneously; (b)
attempting to master a feared event by postponing it; (c) attempting to reach accord through
opposition; (d) attempting to attain compliance through volunteerism; and (e) confirming the
accuser's suspicions by defending self.

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Other interventions include (a) "going slow," directed at clients whose main solution is trying too
hard; (b) recognizing the dangers in resolving the problem too quickly; (c) making a "U-turn" or
going in an opposite direction because the strategy being used is not working; and (d) continuing
the ineffective approach at arriving at solutions. This is used with clients who are having
difficulty changing what they are doing.

Brief Solution-Focused Therapy (SFBT)

SFBT was developed in the 1970s and 1980s by husband and wife Steve de Shazer and Insoo
Kim Berg at the Brief Family Therapy Center in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

Solution-focused brief therapy (SFBT) is a strength-based approach to psychotherapy based on

solution-building rather than problem-solving.

Techniques

SFBT is an approach that falls under the umbrella of constructive therapies.

Constructivism posits that people are meaning makers and are ultimately the creators of their own
realities. The SFBT therapist believes that change in life is inevitable. Because someone creates
their own reality, they may as well change for the better.

In SFBT, the therapist is a skilled conversation facilitator. They do not present themselves as an
expert but instead comes from a "not-knowing" point of view. Drawing upon the client's expertise
in themselves, the therapist uses a variety of techniques and questions to demonstrate their
strengths, resources, and desires. With the focus shifted to what is already working in a client's
life, and how things will look when they are better, more room opens up for the solutions to
arrive. SFBT doesn't stress about the problems but instead spotlights possible solutions.

Miracle Questions: The miracle question is a technique that therapists use to assist clients to
think "outside the square." It asks the client to consider life without the problem by setting up a
scene where a miracle happens and the problem is gone.

Exception Questions: Exception questions allow clients to identify times when things have been
different for them. Finding times when the problem wasn’t so much of a problem.

Examples of exception questions include:

 "Tell me about times when you felt happiest."

 "What was it about that day that made it a better day?"
 "Can you think of a time when the problem was not present in your life?"

By exploring how these exceptions happened, a therapist can empower clients to find a solution.

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Scaling Questions: Scaling questions invite clients to perceive their problems on a continuum.
They're also a helpful way to track progress toward goals and monitor change. Generally, scales
are from 1 to 10. When working with a client who is dealing with anxiety, for example, a
therapist might say:

"If 10 is the most anxious and 1 is the most relaxed, what number would you put yourself on right
now?".

Questions like these are usually followed with questions related to scaling, such as asking the
client to explain why they chose the number they did and why their number is not one lower.
They'll likely also ask the client how they will know they are moving up the scale.

Solution Focused Possibility Therapy

Psychotherapist William (Bill) O’Hanlon is possibility therapy’s creator.

The therapy encourages people to discover solutions to their challenges rather than dwelling
on the causes of their problems. The focus is often on future opportunities rather than past
pains. Therapists who practice possibility therapy acknowledge that no one is perfect,
offering acceptance instead of shame to the individuals they work with in therapy.

Principles of Possibility Therapy

Possibility therapy derives its approach from three core goals:
 Validating experiences and ideas
 Encouraging people to see things from new perspectives
 Accessing strengths and resources to reach a solution
Practitioners of possibility therapy help individuals see opportunity in challenges. They
often work to alter negative and self-defeating thought patterns, replacing them with
hope for greater possibilities. A few examples include:
 Treating problems as fleeting and changeable rather than permanent and
unmanageable
 Replacing blame with a focus on solutions for the future
 Viewing each problem as something experienced rather than a characterization of the
person
 Seeing problems as periodic instead of viewing life as riddled with problems
Techniques
Possibility therapists tend to see themselves as guides, not experts. The person in therapy is
seen as the expert on their own life. The therapist may seek to help them access their own
inner resources and facilitate their ability to see solutions and possibilities. Possibility
therapists typically do not make specific prescriptions, nor do they view a single set of
behaviors or emotion as “normal.” It is then up to the individual to define what a healthy,
happy life looks like for them.
Possibility therapists:
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  Validate feelings while still acknowledging that other feelings and ways of being may
be possible

 Seek out exceptions to the problem to help people abandon global “always” and
“never” thinking
 Encourage people to abandon labels in favor of description and concrete action
 Help set realistic goals
 Aid people in accessing internal and external resources and encouraging them to
notice signs of positive change
 Offer alternative ways of thinking about and framing things
 Promote reflection on the way issues are thought about by highlighting the value of
personal experience
 Use a collaborative framework
Therapists often encourage people to explore multiple solutions, allowing them to reflect on
a range of future outcomes. This focus on the future turns attention away from pain in the
past, can discourage rumination on painful emotions, and may offer prompt relief even
before the goals set in therapy are achieved.

Conclusion

Helping relationship is the foundation on which the process of counseling or psychotherapy rests.
It is best viewed in terms of developmental stages, the first of which begins with the initial
meeting of the client and the counselor or therapist and is characterized by rapport building,
information gathering, goal determination, and information sharing. Building on the foundation
established in the first stage, later stages address extended exploration and problem resolution,
then lead to the final stage in this process, termination and follow-up. The helping relationship,
when viewed from this developmental perspective, progresses from stage to stage because of the
presence of certain components that the counselor or therapist brings to the relationship. The first
of these are the core conditions of empathic understanding, respect and positive regard,
genuineness and congruence, concreteness, warmth, and immediacy. These conditions are
personality characteristics of a counselor or therapist that he or she is able to incorporate into the
helping relationship. Finally, it ends with solution seeking through various therapies and brief
therapies.

References

Brandon, David (1982) The trick of being ordinary: notes for volunteers & students, London:
Mind.

British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (2002) Code of Ethics & Practice for
Counselling Skills, http://www.bacp.co.uk/prof_conduct/skills_code.html. Accessed June 21,
2005.

Carkoff, Robert R. (2000) The Art of Helping in the 21st Century 8e. Amherst, MA.: Human
Resource Development Press.
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Culley, Sue and Bond, Tim (2004)Integrative Counselling Skills in Action 2e, London: Sage.

Egan, Gerald (2002) The Skilled Helper – A problem-management and opportunity-development

approach to helping 7e, Wadsworth.

Ellerman, David (2001) Helping People Help Themselves: Towards a Theory of Autonomy-
Compatible Help. World Bank, Policy Research Working Paper 2693[http://www-
wds.worldbank.org/servlet/WDSContentServer/WDSP/IB/2001/12/11/000094946_