"Her Settlement"

"I hate this! I hate being worthless! I'm done, I don't want to live anymore." As she squeals on
the edge of the campus rooftop building.

In everyone's eyes Sheena has a defectless and flawless life. She lives her life like in paradise
with benevolent parents and affectionate brothers. She has intelligence, enough reason to be
outstanding in her academic field and a good athlete as well. She has everything like the ideal
life that many people dream of. Yet aside from her parents and brothers she doesn't have any
friends because everyone thinks that she's like a star that is only for admiring a far.

While walking to the campus, a group of friends were talking about Sheena.
"Do you know? Sheena won the Mathematician contest."

"I don't know, but I expected her to win. She's like Einstein's niece for Pete's sake!. She's a
genius."

"Not just that, this coming August she'll fight for nationals in taekwondo. I have calculations
that she'll win as well."

Sheena always hears those types of conversations. Eventually her commentary is "of course I'll
win in everything's fight, because I'm giving my everything as a best shot".

One day, she went up to her favourite spot in the campus, the rooftop building. She went there
to do something to improve herself, like having meditation, studying and even taking a nap if
she felt tired after her taekwondo practice. While she was meditating, she heard something like
two people talking. Her curiosity pushed her to listen because the two people are talking yet
sounds fighting.

"Christy, you can do something great, like Sheena did." Tom said.
"Why are you comparing me to her Tom! I know my worth! I'm not after rewards and fame!"
Christy shouted.
"I am happy with what I'm doing right now! Not forcing myself to do everything! Have friends,
I'm happy, and I live with contentment. Normal life is the best, Tom." Christy added.
On the other hand, Sheena felt something foreign in her heart that she couldn't even intake her
saliva. She asked herself, "am I not having a normal life?". She has a family that loves and
supports her with all their best yet she's lacking with friends but she can survive without them.
After what happened, she continues her life. She lives with it as many people want to live her
life, to be a perfect ideal lady. As her national competition is on the way she prepares herself
fully, she even feels exhausted, worried, and doubtful if she'll win yet she's a goal driven young
lady. She encourages herself to be the best and always be the best.

"Sheena, don't pressure yourself, your performance is good, you just need rest because I
observed that your body is not in good condition today. You must be tired. Just enjoy the
competition. Okay?" Her coach told her.
"Noted coach." She replied. Yet in her little clever mind, "I'll do everything to be the best."
When she's done with her practice, she went to the rooftop building to fix herself and relax for
minutes. She feels weary and uncomfortable yet she ignores it. She practiced and practiced until
her body surrendered.

One morning, she was not able to go to campus because she felt ill and tired. She can't even
walk properly, she panics and screams for help.
"Mom! Daddy! Kuya Sam help!" She's completely exhausted.
As her parents come into her room to help her, they can feel her strong fever.
Without a single word her father carried her out from her room to the hospital.

"Mr. and Mrs. Winner, your daughter was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome." Her
parents were in shock, they felt loss for their daughter. Her mom cried and her dad was filled
with disappointment.

"Doc, what are we going to do then? For her fast recovery?" Her mom asked.
"Sadly, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome(CFS) has no treatment. This is a long-term illness ma'am. All
you need to do is to support her and be with her all the time. Because some patients that were
being diagnosed with this illness committed suicide. We can do therapy but overall there's no
cure to this illness."
After hearing those words they cried. Their daughter loves physical activities, she practices all
the time to win national competitions. She has upcoming national competition for Pete's sake!
How can she do it? She can't even walk properly, even going to the bathroom she needs
assistance!

Obviously, she missed her national competition in taekwondo. She was frustrated, her life went
down and gloom. She can't accept the fact that it happened to her life. Even though her family
supported her and encouraged her to continue her life, she keeps asking herself about her
failings and mistakes. She just did what pleases her and to the people around her. As she rests,
she remembers what she'd heard of Christy and Tom's conversation, to live a normal, happy and
content life. Her coach advice to enjoy the competition and to take care of herself. Despite that
realization, overworking herself is still not enough reason for having a disease like she has. It is
unfair! There are many people out there who are overworked yet they just have simple fatigue.
When she felt better she forced herself to go to the campus, her classmates checked and sent her
some regards even to her teachers and taekwondo coach. She's more anxious and down. When
she roamed her eyes around her she felt incomplete. She doesn't have close friends in her
campus, all she has is her family and mentors but a close friend from her class, she doesn't have
even a single soul and basically she felt outcast for the first time.

"So this is what I feel now, all alone. I don't have one single soul to talk with, to share my
rewards or even problems!" Her mind shouted.

Out of frustrations she went up to the rooftop. She felt so tired yet she forced herself to come
there. She cried, she's completely broken, disappointment shutters her life. She complains of
what she's experiencing right now, she can't accept her situation.

"I hate this! I hate being worthless! I'm done, I don't want to live anymore." As she squeals on
the edge of the campus rooftop building. She's willing to end her life, before she decided to
jump she heard someone talking.
"I really thought that you're not that weak Sheena, because as far as I can remember you never
showed us your weakness, you're a great fighter." Dave said, her schoolmate who got diagnosed
with Heart Arrhythmias years ago.

"Do you know that I was MVP in basketball? But I will never be like that again, ever again. Who
can be a best basketball player if he has a weak heart." Dave added.

"I was so down that time Sheena, I love being an MVP. Yes I was anxious, depressed and
frustrated because that's how normal people react. But never in my wildest imagination to
commit suicide and end my life. Life is so precious Sheena. And a real fighter doesn't act that
way the way you act right now. It is not the answer to your problems, you're intelligent Sheena
enough to realize everything you're experiencing right now. Heads up and continue your life.
There are many people out there who are less fortunate than you but they decided to fight their
life. Life is not always smooth, that's the reality and all we need to do is to survive and to fight.
It doesn't mean you lose something, it will be the end of your life, there are many things that
you have. So keep fighting. Like what I did." Dave smiles and offers his hand to Sheena.
Sheena is still crying yet she accepted Dave's hand.

"Live Sheena, live and fight for your life. Do your best to win this battle." She offered a grateful
smile to him and they became friends.

As she went home, her family took good care of her, which made her realize that she's being
valued and loved dearly by her family. She also knows that there are many people out there who
are concerned about her.

"Sweetie, how are you? Why don't you have dinner with us?" Her mom said.
"We miss your laugh, you know, always remember this sweetie. You may fail to have the
rewards that you dream of but it's okay. Don't be afraid of failing, sweetie, because it is just part
of success. And if you think success is just based on rewards, it's not like that. Success is
something that makes you a true human, with a meaningful purpose. Success is not all about
always being in the spotlight but it is within you sweetie. Being happy, content, and peaceful are
just symptoms of success and I know there are more signs out there. Don't focus on your
imperfections and disabilities, instead focus on what you can do. Don't let your illness rule over
you. Okay?"

From then, she decided to fight for her life. She's good in every battle that she has, literally or
idiomatically she'll win because she will always give her best shot. She realizes many things in
life, that you're not always in the spotlight or otherwise, like the tires of a car it is rolling and
life does as well. The important thing is you'll learn from your mistakes and you need to live
your life to the fullest, not in a sense that you're going to ruin your life nor to force it into
perfection. Just simply live your life to the fullest with outburst love, don't live your life in order
to meet people's expectations but live it with accordance to your willingness. Just be happy,
content and do your best yet know how to retreat sometimes. Accept things that come your way
and don't let it define who you are.

Sheena is still living and fighting for her life, she has close friends and one of them is Dave who
saved her from despair. She's a young lady who got an illness called Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
yet inspired many souls to live on. She has many programs for suicide prevention and eventually
saved many lives. She leaves a message to everyone during her speech.
"This is my purpose to save lives, I may not be a gold medalist in taekwondo yet my life is still
meaningful because I choose to be an optimistic person. I choose to be a winner in my own life
and point of view. If I am compared to a bridge or any structures I have an excessive soil
settlement and I need to be reconstructed but I am different to these structures because I am a
human that has a brain to think, a heart to feel, eyes to do the vision and hands to act. Thus, I'm
still victorious in my own life and I know you are. We may have different antagonists in life but
it's just one common goal to push us to fight and do such unforgettable things to make us happy
and live happily ever after. Aim high my friends yet don't push yourself to be always the best to
the point that you forget the purpose of your existence. Make friends and treasure them and
don't exclude yourself from others because I tell you, someday you'll need them as they need you
as well. My illness may be an antagonist in my own story and maybe it will be different from
yours yet I tell you my friends keep fighting and live on. As Mark Zuckerberg said, "have
freedom to fail" don't be afraid of failing friends. Learn from it and I'm telling you to continue
because quitting will never ever push you to win. Remember this, winners never quit."

-Written by: Felma Joy L Codeñera