THE LETTERS

-> The cigarette burned low as the ashes dropped on the letters on my lap. A few flares that fell with the ashes burned
through the words written on the parchment. I could almost smell the perfume, lingering in the folds of the paper. The
ink had run in places, making some words barely legible. She wrote-

“Dear,

I might have left you for our own good. However, I forever shall take a keen interest in your life. For I never want to quite
lose you. Now this might come as a surprise to you. You might be smoking those cigarettes that I have fought days for you
to leave. Well, now when the distance is inevitable between us- I ask how do you cope with our new found loneliness.

You know I can never forgive you- but I couldn’t stop but ponder how you are dealing with the isolation? Doesn’t it hurt
when you smoke on the balcony, and when you turn you don’t see the reflection of my laughter on the TV screen.
Doesn’t it hurt when you wake up in the morning, and not find me to serve you the morning tea. Isn’t loneliness eating
you from inside as a growing cancer- well it is for me.

Yours,”

To me, those aren’t the words that I could simply read but hear her voice echo in my head. A smile came to me as I read
through the words. Very well knowing thecrooked parts of the pages are where her tears fell while writing. Well, I put on
my reading glasses, which still had tape holding the bridge together. She fixed it for me the day it was broken by the
Ledford associates because I was not able to pay back their debts in time.

“Dear love,

Loneliness isn’t something new for me. Your departure from my life has done nothing but run a blade through the pool of
blood that I have bled all these years even in your presence. While I shall forever praise you for your efforts to mop the
ocean ofblood hoping to clean it one day, you just sank deeper until you choked in it and decided to leave for good.

Now to answer what bothers you the most- No, quite honestly the loneliness that came with your departure has become
another member of my home. I don’t appreciate their presence, but I will wait for them to leave at their own time just like
you did. So, my days are gone with them as a member to be taken care of. I make the bed where we slept for now pain to
sleep, but I sleep on the floor. I make bread for them but I just sip only coffee. I give them warmth with all those
cardigans you sew while watching TV and laughing at those late-night shows, but I just sit before the fireplace
with my pack of cigarettes.
Well loneliness isn’t something that leaves you quite honestly. But you cope with it once you start loving yourself. I never
loved myself before like I do now. You were to do that for me instead. But now when you are gone- I do and hope that
you love yourself too. It is the purest love than one can have- might be the hardest to achieve but once you start loving
yourself you can feel the change yourself.
Yours loving,”

After writing the letter, I got up from my bed, lit another cigarette, and while sealing the letter, I walked to the balcony
to feel the morning sun on my face and adore the warmth of it.