Professional Documents
Culture Documents
PAI_Newsletter_March_2023
PAI_Newsletter_March_2023
www.pasg.info
PASG Conference
pg 11
Informed therapists help stop
parental alienation pg 7
News about PASG
pg 4
Professional enabling of
New question and answer
parental alienation pg 9
column pg 5
March 2023 T A B L E O F C O N T E N T S Volume 8 • Issue 2
Editorial
3
Donna-Maria Logue
Feature Articles
6 Alienated children cannot be taken at face value
Alan Blotcky Ph.D.
7 Informed therapists help stop parental alienation
Holly J. Mattingly Ph.D.
Events
11 PASG Convention Schedule at a Glance
Dr. Jennifer Harman
14 Upcoming Parental Alienation Events
Holly Mattingly Ph.D.
Recent Publications
17 Compiled by Robert Ferrer
Departments
19 Contact Information for PASG Officers and PAI Editors
20 About the Parental Alienation Study Group
20 About Parental Alienation International
WELCOME TO THE SECOND ISSUE of the Parental Alienation International newsletter for 2023.
I hope you all feel inspired by the beautiful cover image, reminding us all of the significance of family
life. The artwork was provided by one of La Dolce Vita Project “My Family Matters” competition
winners, Anna-Mae McFernan, age 10 years. It really captures the essence of family through the eyes
of the child.
This edition begins with News about PASG. Professor William Bernet brings forth an update on the
proposal to include parental alienation in the DSM-5.
Next, we have an update on the PAI Newsletter, introducing the new questions and answers column.
Alan Blotcky’s feature article, I envisage, will raise your curiosities, as he walks you through the journey
of an alienated child, the 8 manifesting behaviours and the 17 parental alienation behavioral strategies that
lead to presenting the case as to why we cannot take what the alienated child says at face value.
We hear from Holly J. Mattingly on her perspective as a therapist working with a child, the mistakes,
assumptions often made when we only hear one side of the story.
Targeted parents’ column, brought to you by Diana Alberter, is a thought-provoking column, on the
enabling of parental alienation among professionals based on her own experiences.
Holly Mattingly shares the latest updates on events, conferences, and educational programs. Don’t forget
to share your up-and-coming events with Holly. Email h.mattingly@yahoo.com. Also, within our events,
Jennifer Harman has provided a quick glance at the PASG convention schedule taking place 16th–18th
June 2023.
Donna-Maria Logue
NEW COLUMN
Parental Alienation International Newsletter team are always finding new ideas for our readers. In our next
edition, we will be introducing a new “Question & Answers Column,” giving PASG members the opportunity
to pose questions. Your questions will be sent on to our panel of several experts, and one or two of them will
answer each question that you put forward.
PAI newsletter have an opening for a managing editor role. The managing editor will be responsible for creating
weblinks, as well as editing, uploading and sharing the newsletter on the PASG members’ forum, and across the
PASG social media platforms.
COUNTLESS TIMES I have heard an attorney, therapist, mediator, parent coordinator, or judge tell me that
they believe what a child has said in an alienation case. This is one the biggest mistakes a professional can
make in such cases. Why? Because an alienated child has a distorted and inaccurate view of the alienating
parent and of the rejected parent. And if the child’s thinking is distorted and inaccurate, you cannot take what
he or she says at face value.
Alienated children have 8 characteristics. First, the child adopts a campaign of total denigration against the
rejected parent. Second, the alienated child’s complaints about the rejected parent are weak, frivolous, and
illegitimate. Third, the alienated child shows no ambivalence toward the targeted parent; the alienating parent is
seen as “all good,” while the rejected parent is viewed as “all bad.” Fourth, the alienated child adamantly denies
that his or her negative feelings about the rejected parent have come from the alienating parent. Fifth, the alien-
ated child automatically or reflexively supports the alienating parent on every issue at hand. Sixth, the alienated
child shows no guilt for treating the rejected parent so badly. Seventh, the alienated child begins to mimic the
alienating parent in describing the undesirable aspects of the rejected parent. Eighth, the alienated child rejects
the targeted parent’s extended family members for no real reason.
Let us also remember the 17 behavioral strategies that an alienating parent uses toward his or her child:
Badmouthing, limiting contact, interfering with communication, interfering with symbolic communication,
withdrawal of love, telling the child the targeted parent does not love him or her, forcing the child to choose,
creating the impression that the rejected parent is dangerous, confiding in the child, forcing the child to reject
the targeted parent, asking the child to spy, asking the child to keep secrets, referring to the targeted parent by
first name, referring to a stepparent as “Mom” or “Dad,” withholding medical and academic information from
the rejected parent, changing the child’s name, and cultivating dependency.
Children and teenagers are highly suggestible to the influence of a determined parent. They can be swayed,
cajoled, bribed, pressured, manipulated, brainwashed, and coached by a mother or a father. In the case of
parental alienation, a child or teenager is manipulated into aligning with the alienating parent against the
targeted parent. This alignment often becomes fixed, severe, and extremely toxic.
Based on both research and clinical experience, it is clear that an alienated child’s perceptions and beliefs are
highly skewed in favor of the alienating parent and against the rejected parent. An alienated child’s perceptions
and beliefs, by definition, are not accurate. Children and teenagers cannot know what is in their best interest if
their perceptions and beliefs have been undermined and tainted.
Alienated children cannot be taken at face value. Terrible decision-making will occur if you simply listen to
their voices as is. Their statements and views must be considered within the context of their alienation status.
Should an alienated child take the stand during a court proceeding? There are mixed opinions about that.
Some believe that an alienated child should testify so that their alienation becomes visible and exposed. Others
believe that an alienated child should not testify because their warped perceptions and beliefs might be accepted
as the truth in court.
In every case of parental alienation, the child in question has been manipulated in his or her thinking about
each parent. Neither parent is viewed in accurate terms. The child’s statements must not be taken at face value
without careful consideration of the family dynamics at play.
A mom calls you to schedule a therapy appointment for her 8-year-old son, Ben. She says she is going through
a divorce (ding), and she wants to be sure her child isn’t emotionally harmed throughout the process. You meet
with Mom and Ben for your first session. Mom presents very put together, organized, and on top of all her
responsibilities. Ben is friendly and smiling and sits close to his mother on the couch.
Mom begins by telling you how much she loves Ben and just wants him to feel safe (ding). She says he does
well in school and has a lot of friends but states she is worried about him. She explains that his dad hasn’t been
around much (ding) and that he is just completely irresponsible (ding). She proceeds to tell you how Ben’s dad
has such a bad temper and just loses it in front of Ben (ding) and that it was so bad she had to get an EPO to
protect Ben (ding #6).
Mom asks Ben to tell you about how scared he has been around his dad (ding). Ben chimes in recounting an
event when he was little (ding), and his dad was yelling at Mom, and she was crying, and he was so scared he
didn’t know what to do (ding). He says Mom was just trying to talk to Dad, but he wouldn’t listen to her (ding)
and just kept telling her she was lying (ding). Ben tells you he doesn’t want to go to his dad’s on the weekends
(ding) because he doesn’t spend any time with him anyway (ding). He says Dad is always hanging out with his
new girlfriend that he cheated on Mom with (ding) and she tries to tell him what to do but she’s not his mom
(ding). He says it shouldn’t matter anyway because Dad didn’t even come see him for so long (ding) so he
shouldn’t have to go see him either (ding).
Mom then says she knows Ben doesn’t like being at his dad’s because he always gets a stomachache before
their visits (ding) and he that he really doesn’t want to go to his other grandparents either (ding). She says her
ex’s parents are very snobby and never really liked her (ding) but Ben loves being with her parents (ding). She
says she tries to be understanding when it’s time for Ben to go see his dad and tells him she wishes he didn’t
have to go either (ding) and admits she gets choked up sometimes telling him bye (ding).
Ben interjects that Dad is the one that makes him go (ding). Ben states he has fun at his house (ding) with his
mom because she always plays games with him, and they watch movies and eat pizza (ding). Ben says there is
never any food at his dad’s (ding) and sometimes dad’s friend, James, comes over and they are wild and drink
beer (ding). He says James isn’t a good dad either (ding) and that Mom didn’t even tell him that; he just knows
(ding). He says James even yelled at him and all he did was change the channel (ding). He continues, saying
he’s not even safe going over there because his dad has guns (ding), but Mom told him to take a video of dad
(ding) and to text her if Dad does anything that scares him (ding) and last weekend she picked him up Satur-
day morning, so he didn’t have to stay all weekend. He says his dad didn’t even care that he needed new soccer
cleats and Mom has to pay for everything (ding). He goes on to say Dad doesn’t even pick him up from prac-
tice on time (ding) and he only cares about himself (ding). Ben smiles at his mom and says they are better off
without him (ding).
A quick initial perception for a therapist not familiar with Parental Alienation (PA) might be that Ben’s dad is
a total jerk and possibly even dangerous given that he has an EPO against him. It is obvious that Ben does not
want to see his dad and he’s being exposed to guns, beer drinking, and who knows what else at his dad’s house.
His dad’s friend has even yelled at him. Ben is even having somatic symptoms when he has to go see his dad.
His dad is an absent parent not seeing him for so long and can’t even pick him up from practice on time. Dad
spends more time with his girlfriend than he does with Ben, and he doesn’t even help pay for the soccer cleats
Ben needs. This seems like a bad situation, and it may be unhealthy for Ben to be around.
These seem to be reasonable perceptions at first glance, but with a little understanding of what takes place and
perpetuates PA, an entire new perception is gained. According to Dr. Amy Baker, parental alienation strategies
fall into five categories: “(1) degrading messages conveyed to the child about the other parent in which he or
she is portrayed as unloving, unsafe, and unavailable; (2) limiting contact and communication between the
child and the targeted parent; (3) erasing and replacing the targeted parent in the heart and mind of the child;
(4) encouraging the child to betray the targeted parent’s trust; and (5) undermining the authority of the targeted
parent. Taken together these parental alienation strategies foster conflict and psychological distance between the
child and the targeted parent.”
Lorandos, Bernet, and Sauber (2013), experts in the field of PA, note children who are victims of PA will
manifest the two following behaviors: (1) Campaign of Denigration – the child will complain about the target
parent with no justification or for trivial reasons, and (2) Frivolous Rationalizations – small and/or typical
family issues are catastrophized by the child and reactions are unjustified and disproportionate to the events.
The authors also note in addition, two or more of the following attitudes or behaviors will be exhibited: (3)
Lack of Ambivalence – one parent is all good and the other is all bad, (4) Independent-Thinker Phenomenon –
child will openly state and insist the thoughts or feelings are their own and they were not influenced by the
favored parent, (5) Automatic Support – child will always side with the favored parent and disagree with the
rejected parent in arguments, (6) Absence of Guilt – child will not feel bad or be concerned at all about saying
mean and hurtful comments to or about the rejected parent, (7) Borrowed Scenarios – child will give the exact
same account as the favored parent for various events, and (8) Spread of Animosity – child will begin to reject
and denigrate extended family members and friends of the rejected parent without reason.
As therapists we must be vigilant in seeking the rest of the story. Things are not always what they seem. There
should be bells dinging in our heads when we hear the all-too-common scenarios like the one noted above.
What questions would you have with each of the Dings noted in the scenario? Do any of them have the ring of
parental alienation? Perhaps Ben’s dad is an absent parent and presents a danger to Ben or perhaps stories and
events have been twisted and turned by Mom and conveyed as truth to her child and you the therapist.
Avoid making assumptions based on one side of the story. The only way to know the truth is to seek the facts
that can be backed up with evidence. To provide appropriate therapy for a child in this situation, it would be
prudent to ask all the questions and get the specifics to all the Dings. Meet with each parent separately and to-
gether. Meet with each parent along with the child and meet with both parents and the child together. Ask to see
any related court documents, text messages, social media posts, or any other pertinent collateral information to
back up any claims made by the parents. This is no easy task. Due diligence is vital if we, as therapists, are to
uphold our duty to do no harm. Seek specialized training in Parental Alienation and be part of the solution.
References:
About Parental Alienation. (n.d.). Amy J. L. Baker, Ph.D. Retrieved February 10, 2023, from
https://www.amyjlbaker.com/about-parental-alienation
Lorandos, D., Bernet, W., & Sauber, S. R. (2013). Overview of Parental Alienation. In Parental alienation:
The handbook for mental health and legal professionals. essay, Charles C. Thomas, Publisher, Ltd.
During traumatizing periods in our lives, many of us seek legal counsel for assistance. Parents often assume
that an attorney can lead them through difficult situations with ease and expertise.
Unfortunately, when it comes to parental alienation, many parents unknowingly engage attorneys that are
uninformed. This leads to the exacerbation of the abuse being inflicted not only on our children, but on parents.
Therapists, psychologists and family court judges are also accountable. We now know that Parental Alienation
is classified as a form of intimate partner violence; but how are legal professionals staying up to date on these
issues and classifications?
Through my own (less than stellar) experience, I’ve compiled behaviors and practices by family court and other
professionals that have and continue to enable the abuse that is parental alienation.
Thanks to conversations about parental alienation (PA), most attorneys have at least heard the term; but there is
a lot of distance between hearing the term and understanding the signs, symptoms and characteristic behaviors
that are indicative of parental alienation.
A lack of understanding about alienation can result in an attorney being unable to identify that PA may be hap-
pening when a client describes their situation. This is true whether the client is an alienator OR targeted parent.
This lack of awareness is accompanied by an absence of understanding around the risks to the child(ren) as well
as to the alienated parent.
This problem of a dearth of expertise grows as the lack of expertise in PA negatively impacts their ability to
recommend psychologists who are trained in PA. This is further complicated by a seeming unwillingness to
direct a client to another attorney when they are not well-versed in cases where parental alienation is a factor.
As PA is a complex, time-consuming matter, employing counsel who is willing to lend a sympathetic ear and
communicate regularly about the legal process and their strategies throughout must not be overlooked. It may
take some time to weed out those who are not invested in your case, but the effort is rewarded. Hire an attorney
who understands your pain and is willing to fight for you and your children.
Like attorneys, not all Family Court judges are literate about parental alienation, and this has a significant po-
tential for bad decisions that have life-long implications. In general, family court judges seem to prefer recon-
ciliation and therapeutic routes, which is next to worthless in cases of parental alienation – especially extreme
cases. Repetitive referrals to reconciliation, absent a recognition of and assignment to a parental alienation ex-
pert, leaves the child(ren) in the abusive situation for long periods of time. In addition, it tortures the alienated
parents whose hands are tied by the current orders, which is complicated further as co-parenting with alienators
(usually classified as narcissists) is next to impossible.
It often seems as though judges defer to the court appointed evaluators, assumed experts in high-conflict
divorce, for recommendations but do not take the time to thoroughly review the reports for inconsistencies or
outdated diagnoses. Essentially holding the power of life and death, family court judges hold a responsibility
to be informed enough in Parental Alienation to identify questionable recommendations in custody cases. An
Therapists/Psychologists
The late Steven Miller, MD put it best: “therapists who are not experts in parental alienation should not be see-
ing and/or treating children who are victims of alienation”. He made it a point, when speaking to the issue of
parental alienation, to distinguish between intuition which is almost always wrong and expertise. He described
alienated (targeted) parents as angry, agitated, anxious and afraid while the alienating (abusive) parents are
cool, calm, charming, confident. In normal situations (where there is not alienation taking place), it is easy for
an intuitive response to assume that the calm, cool parent is the more stable and better parent while the agitated
and angry parent is not. This can then result in recommendations that the child(ren) be removed from the alien-
ated (targeted) parent due to the child(ren)’s rejection and behavior.
Given the psychological damage that Parental Alienation is proven to cause, it is imperative that parents act
as their own advocates when seeking legal assistance. If an attorney insists they can handle your case, ask for
examples of other cases and how they were remedied. Request names of experts who may be able to testify on
the prognosis of such cases and names of court appointed psychologists. Most importantly, follow your gut. If
advice you’re receiving does not sit well with you as a parent, get another opinion. Attorneys will often offer
free consultations.
Schedule-at-a-Glance
Note: Not all co-authors of talks will be in person at the conference, and a small number of the presentations will be pre-recorded
and played during the conference. Note that no unauthorized audio or video recordings will be allowed.
Sunday, June 18th: MC’d by incoming PASG President, Virginia Griffin Donnell
Time Event Location
Morning Concurrent Sessions
7:30-9 am Surviving the Witness Stand as a PA Brian Ludmer, LLB Ballrooms C/D Father’s Day Support Cindy Hirsch, International Longs Peak
Expert Jennifer J. Harman, PhD Group Support Network for
Demosthenes Lorandos, Alienated Families
PhD, JD
Alissa Sherry, PhD
9-10:45 am Parental Alienation: Law and Practice Advances in Abuse and Custody Evaluation Practice
Parental Alienation case law analysis Andrew Doyle Ballrooms C/D Using the PARQ in Custody Ken Lewis Longs Peak
from the Irish High Court and Evaluations When Parental
European Court of Human Rights Alienation is Alleged
Parental Alienation in Portugal - Sandra Feitor, PhD Use of timelines to refute Alan Blotcky, PhD
between evolution and convictions false allegations of abuse
by ECHR
How to Manage and Present the Brian Ludmer, LLB Reliability of the Five- Stephen Morrison, PhD
Legal Case Responsive to PA Factor Model for Robyn Ring, PhD
Dynamics Determining Parental
Alienation
Researching PA as a guardian ad Heleen Koppejan-Luitze Conducting Scientifically Shawn Wygant, PhD
litem in the Netherlands Informed Child Custody
Evaluations When Parental
Alienation and Domestic
Violence Have Been
Alleged
The child's hearing and its Mariam Afonso Brigas, The evaluation of Andreia Soares Calcada
importance for the definition of the PhD accusations of child sexual Alexandra Ullman
custody regime in parental abuse in Brazil -
alienation cases evolutions, setbacks and
difficulties.
11-12 pm Poster Session & Refreshments Ballrooms C/D, LSC
Invitation to Provide Feedback on a Proposed Social Psychology Experiment that Examines Possible Human Bias in Identifying Parental Alienation
Posters will Parental Alienation Study Group
Howie Dennison
March 2023
also remain
up all day
12
Identifying and combating mis/disinformation about parental alienation (in science, the court, media, and publishing)
www.pasg.info
William Bernet, MD
Shenmeng Xu, PhD.
Executive Functioning and Resilience
Violence Have Been
Alleged
The child's hearing and its Mariam Afonso Brigas, The evaluation of Andreia Soares Calcada
importance for the definition of the PhD accusations of child sexual Alexandra Ullman
custody regime in parental abuse in Brazil -
alienation cases evolutions, setbacks and
difficulties.
11-12 pm Poster Session & Refreshments Ballrooms C/D, LSC
Invitation to Provide Feedback on a Proposed Social Psychology Experiment that Examines Possible Human Bias in Identifying Parental Alienation
Posters will Howie Dennison
also remain Identifying and combating mis/disinformation about parental alienation (in science, the court, media, and publishing)
up all day William Bernet, MD
Shenmeng Xu, PhD.
Executive Functioning and Resilience
Joan Kloth-Zanard
Parental Alienation starts small
Vesta Spivakovsky - Chandler
Pathway to Parental Alienation: The Child's Journey
Tina Mayer
A Game Changer: Digital Products can help Alienated Parents Effectively and Inexpensively
Lawrence DeMarco
Parental Alienation, Suicide, and Medical Assistance in Dying
Kelsey Green
Late Poster Submissions will be considered
12-1 pm Lunch The Foundry
Afternoon Concurrent Sessions
1-2:30 pm Evidence based intervention for parental alienation Evidence based prevention for parental alienation
Supervised Visitation, A Court Mark Roseman, PhD Ballrooms C/D Preventing PA, Identification and Philip Leon Marcus Longs Peak
ordered Intervention Early Intervention: Why, How, and Mary Alvarez, PhD
Safe and Effective Treatment for Linda Gottlieb, LMFT Who Does It? Chris Turner, JD,
Moderate and Severe Cases of Loretta Maase, MA, MSW
Parental Alienation LPC-S
Caitlin Burgess, LMFT,
JD
Family Bridges Aftercare Protocol - Yvonne Parnell, PhD
working with alienating parents Combatting misinformation about Virginia Griffin
parental alienation reunification Donnell
programs Brian Ludmer
2:30-4 Working with alienated parents: Mental health and legal services Alienated Parent’s Panel
Parental Alienation Signs to Identify Merle Lewis Ballrooms C/D Naomi Barnett Longs Peak
During the Custody Evaluation Matt Peloquin
Staying Focused in PA Litigation: Cory Sprunger Amanda Ngyuen
Making Economical Use of Litigation Natalie Williamson Josh Gonze
Resources Brayton Conley, JD
The Catch 22's and Common Randy Flood, MA, LLP
Mistakes of Targeted Parents in
Parental Alienation
The psychological consultation in Cathia Chumbo
the divorce
4-4:15 Coffee Break
4:15-5:45 Parental Alienation: State of Knowledge and Handling Misinformation Advocacy: Building Capacity and Having an Impact
Quality of Research on Parental Joshua Marsden Ballrooms C/D Lessons from the Netherlands: Heleen Koppejan- Longs Peak
Alienation Translation of research to advocacy Luitze, MSc.
Characterization of the Sophie Roswall The Brazilian parental alienation law Andreia Soares
interdisciplinary nature of the Bjarn Cedervall 12.318/2010 - advances and Calcada
parental alienation concept as setbacks
reflected by professional journals
Publishing about parental Jennifer J. Harman, PhD Networking and advocacy action Julie Grayson, JD
alienation: How to overcome William Bernet, MD planning: Addressing Kayden’s Law Joan Kloth-
challenges and disseminate and similar legislation Zanard, MFT
knowledge
Handling misinformation and future Panel Discussion,
research priorities including Stanley Karosi,
PhD
5:45-6 pm Closing Remarks Ballrooms C/D
Virginia Griffin Donnell
6:30-8:00 pm Screening of I Stand with John followed by Q & A Longs Peak
www.pasg.info