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Why Your Writing Sounds Weird

(And What You Can Do About It)
by Joe Bunting | 23 comments

Sentence structure matters, no matter who you are.

You might be a student trying to get a passing grade on an essay, a guy

trying to text to a smart girl without humiliating yourself, an employee

writing a company-wide memo, or a writer working on your next book.

When sentence structure gets out of whack, there can be consequences

(no passing grade, no first date, no raise, no publishing contract, no

bueno).

Photo by Nawal Al-Mashouq (Creative Commons)

 Bad Sentence Structure Makes for Weird
Sounding Sentences
When you write, you use a different part of the brain than when you
speak. That's why writing can be so hard for many of us, myself

included. You might communicate perfectly when you talk, but when you

write, you stare at the screen for fifteen minutes trying to figure out
what to say.

Many people especially struggle with sentence structure. Most of us are

taught sentence structure in the third and fourth grade, but we usually

forget it just as quickly.

Who really needs to know what a subject and predicate is or why you
shouldn't use comma splices?

Who needs to know? You do! That is, if you don't want to your writing to

sound ridiculous. If you don't structure your sentences correctly, your

writing will sound strange, like there's something “off” about it. This
might not matter in a text message to your friends, but it could definitely

matter when you're writing that essay for English class or sending an
important email for work.

Here's the point: Smart people use correct sentence structure. (Tweet
that?)

Sentence Structure Basics: Subject and

Predicate
To begin, let's talk about the basics of sentence structure. If you're

serious about sentence structure, you probably already know what a

subject and predicate is. For everyone else, here are the simple

definitions:
Subject. The subject is what the sentence is about. For example: John
drove his car off the bridge. Is John crazy?

Predicate. The predicate is what the subject is up to. In other words,

the predicate “completes an idea about the subject,” according to
Wikipedia. For example: John got out of the ruined car, and he laughed

uproariously. A subject almost always includes a noun (there are some

exceptions), but a predicate must include a verb.

Sometimes, a subject isn't included in the sentence but just implied. For
example, Don't drive off bridges! Here, there is no subject, but it's implied
by the context.

For more complex explanations, use the following links (subject,

predicate).

The 4 Types of Sentences

When you put a subject and a predicate together, you get a clause! (Yes,
like Santa.) The fun thing is you can combine clauses together to form
different types of sentences.

Good writers vary the types of sentences they use. For example, don't
use too many simple sentences. You might sound childish. However, if

you use too many compound-complex sentences, your writing might be

too difficult to understand.

Here are the four types of sentences:

Simple Sentences
Simple sentences contain a single clause (i.e. one subject, one predicate).

Here are a few examples:

John had broken his toe.

John shouted in pain.

 John was very stupid.

Compound Sentences
Compound sentences contain two independent clauses (independent

because they could be their own sentences) which are joined together
with a coordinating conjunction (i.e. and, but, or, so). Here are a few
examples:

I didn't know why John drove off the bridge, but Mark did.

I asked him why, but he wouldn't tell me.

I stopped asking, but I still wondered.

Complex Sentences
Complex sentences contain one independent clause and one or more
dependent clauses (dependent because they couldn't be their own

sentence) which are joined together by a subordinating conjunction (e.g.

that, because, if, etc.*)

Everything changed when John drove off the bridge.

Whenever I drove across that bridge, I would think about driving

off, too.

Even though I would never do it, I thought about it all the time.

*Here's a full list of subordinating conjunctions.

Compound-Complex Sentences
Compound-complex sentences contain at least two independent clauses
and one dependent clauses. Here's a long compound-complex example:

“
Sometimes, when I drove over the bridge, my hand would
start to turn the steering wheel toward the edge, but I
 would quickly stop myself because even I didn't want to
die.

When Sentence Structure Goes Wrong

You've seen how sentences are supposed to look, but what happens when
sentences go wrong? And how can you avoid sounding like an idiot by
structuring a sentence incorrectly? Here are four common ways sentence

structure goes wrong:

1. Comma Splices
What if you decided to take two sentences and join them with a comma
instead of a period? (Or, for the grammarphiles, what if you joined two
independent clauses with a comma but left out the subordinating
conjunction?)

Well, you would have a comma splice, and comma splices are bad.

Here's an example of a comma splice:

“
John broke his toe, he shouted in pain.

See what I mean? Don't do that.

Instead, just put in a conjunction (and, but, or, so) or replace the comma
with a period.

“
John broke his toe, and he shouted in pain.

OR
 “
John broke his toe. He shouted in pain

Isn't that better?

2. Fragments
A fragment is an incomplete sentence. It might have a subject. It might
have a predicate. It never has both.

Here are a few examples:

John broke his toe. And shouted in pain. (no subject)

Everything changed. When John drove off the bridge.

Fragments are against the rules, but in certain situations, they can be

used effectively as a stylistic choice. However, unless you know what

you're doing, it's a good idea to avoid them.

3. Run-on sentences
A run-on sentence is kind of like a comma splice except you take out the
comma. Here's what I mean:

“
John broke his toe he shouted in pain.

Run-on sentences are bad. Put a period in between those clauses!

Why You Should Care About Sentence

Structure?
You probably aren't going to diagram every sentence from now on.
However, by becoming familiar with correct sentence structure, you
will become a better writer, and becoming a better writer could help you
pass your next class, get a job, and avoid humiliation on Facebook. It
sounds like a good choice to me!

PRACTICE
Write a story about a guy who drove off a bridge. In your story, use
at least one example of each of the four types of sentences we talked
about above. Avoid the sentence-structure pitfalls.

Write for fifteen minutes. When you finish, post your practice in the
comments section. And if you post, be sure to leave feedback for
your fellow writers.

Have fun!

Want to write like Louise

Penny? Join our new
class and learn how.
Learn more and sign up

here.

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 About the author  Related Posts

Joe Bunting
Website
 Joe Bunting is an author and the leader of The Write
Practice community. He is also the author of the new
book Crowdsourcing Paris, a real life adventure story
set in France. It was a #1 New Release on Amazon.
Follow him on Instagram (@jhbunting).

Want best-seller coaching? Book Joe here.

23 Comments
Christine on June 6, 2014 at 6:21 pm

I once knew this guy named John. He was a real show-off;

he’d do all kinds of stupid things to attract attention.
Some of John’s stunts weren’t very funny. You could say
John acted like a jerk at times and you’d be right.

However, John’s mother and father doted on their only

child even though he didn’t always use every corner of his
brain on all occasions. Can you guess what they did?
John’s parents bought their darling son a car. They gave it
to him for his eighteenth birthday, hoping it might teach
John some responsibility, but they were in for a major
disappointment.

As I said, John can be a real show-off, so one day he

decides to try flying over the Stone Creek Bridge and then
taking the sharp right turn at the other side on two
wheels. He tried this stunt after a few drinks and a day of
rain. He failed to take into account the fact that the
pavement might be a mite slippery, furthermore, a
passing farm tractor had left some mud on other side,
which greased the road nicely.

Can you imagine? John goes flying over the bridge all right
and took the turn as planned, but when his wheels hit that
mud his car started doing a figure 8. The last thing it did
was to slip off the road and down the bank into the creek,
making a nice splash for effect as it hit the water and sank.
John was lucky; the creek water was low right then. He
managed to open the side window and climb out onto the
roof, then he jumped into the water and waded to shore.
And wouldn’t you know it? The first one to come along
and give him a ride home was the preacher at his parents’
church.

John’s father told him that after this stunt there was no
way he was going to co-sign a loan so John could get
another car, so he’d just have to buckle down and work
until he’d earned enough money to buy one himself. And
since John’s uncle was the loans manager at our local
bank, it was several years later before John got his second
car.

Reply 5

709writer on June 12, 2014 at 4:19 pm

Very witty and entertaining. I especially liked the

line: “One evening he decides to try flying over
the Stone Creek Bridge.” Keep up the good work! :
)

Pedro Hernandez on June 6, 2014 at 7:04 pm

My best bud was called John. He loved to make lots of

jokes, because he liked to make people smile. The moment
anyone met John, they became friends instantaneously.
You could say he was the best.
But one day that all changed.
I was home, waiting for Josh to come over. I had invited
him to come over for a beer. I sat on the couch, watching
today’s hockey match. Waiting for the familiar beeping of
his truck, and the slam of the door. I heard somebody
knocking on my door, and I rushed to it, thinking Josh had
arrived. But when I opened it, I found a burly police officer
in uniform. I felt my heart squeeze. Why was he here?

“May I come in?, I need to talk to you.” Asked the burly

police officer somberly.
“Make yourself at home.” I told him, stepping back to let
him in. The police officer walked in and sat at the dinning
table. He motioned me to sit across him. I walked
nervously towards the chair and sat, turning to face the
officers eyes.

“What is this about?” I asked him, feeling a pit open in my

stomach. I felt something wasn’t right.
“Its about your friend, Josh.” The police officer answered
slowly and gravely. I felt dread rise up inside of me. What
was going on? What happened to Josh? Is he safe? I was
about to ask all those questions before he raised his hand.
“His car slid off the bridge and crashed. The bridge was
covered in too much ice.” The officer said as a tear rolled
down his cheek. “Josh is… gone.”
I felt my heart sink, along with all my hopes. Josh, gone
forever? I couldn’t believe it. I could not accept this
hideous reality. It was as if somebody telling a little kid
Santa was made up. Tears rolled down my cheeks freely. I
hated myself for crying, but I couldn’t stop myself. The
officer put his hand on my shoulder, as if trying to
comfort me. And so I lay there, crying as the officer held
my shoulder.
I cried for a long time.

Reply 5

Christine on June 6, 2014 at 8:23 pm

You’re story is good but I think you need to add

some longer sentences. Most of yours are about
the same length, quite short.
“Make yourself at home” sounds too off-hand,
 not like what you’d say to a police officer standing
at your door looking grave.

Pedro Hernandez on June 6, 2014 at 10:44 pm

Ahh, thanks for catching that mistake/error. I

winged it more or less, But thank you for your
feedback! it helps :3

Brianna Worlds on June 7, 2014 at 1:36 pm

I have a bad habit of making my sentences overly

complex. I’ve never really thought about different types of
sentence structure, but here goes nothing.
~~~
I was six when John drove off the bridge.
He did it exactly two days after he stabbed his best friend
Niko to death, and about six hours after he woke up from
one of the supervisors smashing him in the head with his
baseball bat. I remember the way he looked then, the back
of his head painted and stiff with dry blood, and I
remember the scream when he saw Niko. I mostly
remember the empty, dead look in his eyes as he just sat
in the corner of the Orphanage lobby for hours.
He didn’t eat, and no one tried to make him; it meant
more for everyone else. The meaning of ‘selfless’ was lost
on the lost, beaten children of the foster house. I watched
him. I thought about asking him why he had stabbed Niko
like that, but I was scared– what if he stabbed me, too?
When he disappeared, no one called the authorities; I
think they were relieved that he was gone. But the Miss
got a call from the police saying that one of her ‘children’
had stolen a car, and then later that he had driven it off of
the Bade Bridge. Turns out he didn’t die, but he’s
paralyzed for life. I almost envied him– at least he got out
of this stinking place that had the audacity to call itself a
foster home. It didn’t foster anybody; it only broke them.
Broke them and beat them and left them for dead.
Now, seven years later, I still remember, and I still wonder
why he did it. My naivety gone, I wonder if he was high
when he stabbed him, and then was so distraught when he
woke that death was welcome. Well, death was welcomed
by many people in this house, whether they stabbed their
best friend to death or not. I stared up at the ceiling of the
bedroom, and listened to the breathing of the ten or so
other girls that slept.
Moonlight stuttered through the grimy window that I
slept beneath, and I lifted up my arm, inspecting the
newest of a multitude of injuries. It had been three days
since the guard had slashed open the soft skin on the
bottom of my forearm for staying out past curfew– it
wasn’t because he really cared that I’d stayed out late that
he cut me, but because he was looking for an excuse to
hurt someone. I could see it in his eyes when I walked
inside. It was deep and long, and it was throbbing in a
worrisome manner. If I squinted at it it looked like it
might be swelling, too. I gnawed on my lip and cast by
gaze around the room and sighed.
I stood up. I was going to go steal a car.

Reply 5

709writer on June 12, 2014 at 4:15 pm

I have to admit, there’s almost nothing more annoying

than reading a book that has sentences such as the
dreaded: “He jumped off a cliff, screamed.” “She picked
up a hammer, threw it.” The only thing that bothers me
more is “Tears streamed down his face. He was obviously
sad.” Sorry, had to vent. : )

Reply 5

david on October 16, 2015 at 2:02 pm

ya big turkey

Reply 5

david on October 16, 2015 at 2:07 pm

Cruz your a big turkey

Reply 5

david on October 16, 2015 at 2:09 pm

george is a big turkey

Reply 5

david on October 16, 2015 at 2:10 pm

David is a big turkey

Reply 5

david on October 16, 2015 at 2:13 pm

hi

Reply 5

david on October 16, 2015 at 2:14 pm

david im watching you yeah big turkey

Reply 5
dayton on October 16, 2015 at 2:15 pm

you big chicken

Reply 5

david on October 16, 2015 at 2:16 pm

remi you big turkey

Reply 5

dayton on October 16, 2015 at 2:18 pm

i like turkeys ;)))))

Reply 5

david on October 16, 2015 at 2:19 pm

the guy who drove off the bridge is a big turkey

Reply 5

dayton on October 16, 2015 at 2:20 pm

got eeeemmmm

Reply 5

david on October 16, 2015 at 2:21 pm

 yeah big turkey

darkocean on September 30, 2016 at 3:49 pm

Have any tips on how to reduce the conjunction “and” in

writing? It’s seriously annoying me and I feel that taking a
few out would help with the rhythm and structure.

Reply 5

jkyui on April 29, 2017 at 5:10 am

Before mentioned sentence structure since the inceptions

making the ideal thoughts in improving as well as
processing the bets part for all. it does not seem
unreasonable to suggest that the entire way out is making
the movements professional plus precise from the
beginning.

Reply 5

jkyui on May 1, 2017 at 9:12 am

Before mentioned sentence structure since the inceptions

making the ideal thoughts in improving as well as
processing the bets part for all. it does not seem
unreasonable to suggest that the entire way out is making
the movements professional plus precise from the
beginning.

Reply 5

Courtnie on July 17, 2017 at 12:31 am

I woke up screaming, in the middle of the night. I had a

nightmare about my brother John, driving his car off the
 side of the road on ole’ man cliff. John and I we’re very
close even though we we’re 12 years apart in age.

I can’t believe that his funeral is tomorrow. Who am I

going to talk to about my boy problems? I can’t talk to my
mother, she doesn’t believe in dating at my age.

I get up out of the bed to go and get some water. I hear

noise coming from my mother’s room. I go in and check
on her. She is tossing and turning, she must be having a
bad dream as well. I walk in and place my Hand on her and
whisper in her ear. Momma, “Everything is going to be
alright. ” I kiss her forehead, walk out, and close the door.
Tomorrow is gonna be a hard day for the both of us.

Reply 5
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