Strength of a Woman

Objectives:
By the end of this session, participants are expected to:
1. appreciate the special role women have in marriage,
2. identify tips on how they can find balance as young wives and mothers, and
3. know practical tips on how to become a suitable helpmate.
4. Desire to grow in their relationship & devotion to Mama Mary.

I. Introduction

In our life’s fairy tale, we are the princess, and our husband is prince charming. We build
our kingdom and live happily ever after. Genesis 2:24 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and
his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh”.
We all experience the joy of being newly married, the honeymoon period, where we think
life is perfect, there is intense satisfaction from the marriage and natural high emotionally and
sexually. Let’s take a poll, when did your honeymoon period end?
● Before we got home from the trip
● A month of living together
● One year
● Two years
● Never ending honeymoon

As the honeymoon feeling waned, we realize that marriage entails hard work. Let us discuss how
we can become a suitable partner to our husband.
Genesis 2:18 "Then the LORD God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a
helper suitable for him’.

II. Our Special Role in Marriage

Women who are whole can, in turn, help others to realize their own fulfillment. We can give life and
supply energy to our spouse, children and others God brings into our life. Men and women are not
only physically different. We are also different in the way we think and act.

A. Nature of Women
Women are born nurturers. We are person-focused, embracing the personal aspect of life. We are a
source of stability for the family by providing support. When we experience pain and difficulty, our
normal course of action is to go to our moms.
Many times we’re stuck wondering: What is the right way to do this? Or how do my spouse and I
come to a common understanding? How can I change my spouse?... and the list goes on. As
Catholics, we have a long rich tradition of looking to Mama Mary who is our greatest intercessor
and also the greatest example of what it means to be a woman.

B. Vocation
As women, our primary vocation is to be wife and mother. Our calling as a wife is to be someone
our husband can lean on, can share in his life’s work and difficulties, as companion and helper. We
submit to our husbands because he loves us just as Christ loved the Church. Pleasing and serving
our husband is our topmost priority. This goes the same for them.
Looking at Mama Mary reminds us that even though she was chosen, highly bless and full of grace,
she still lovingly submitted herself to St Joseph and allowed him to lead her and Jesus. In our own
lives, we may be more competent and capable of doing certain things but turning to our husbands
and allowing them to take the lead and support them in the decisions they take even if it means that
things become more difficult.
As a mother, our children come next in our order of priority. We are called primarily to guard and
teach our own children, to nourish both their physical and spiritual life. We might think that Mama
Mary had it easy since she had to raise our Lord, who never sinned or did anything wrong. What
about the opportunity for anxiety in taking care of the Son of God... how and what could she teach
Him? Was she always able to do everything right for Him?

C. Genius of Women
We have the innate gift of intuition. Intuition is more than a hunch or a negative feeling, it is a gift
of discernment. As we grow in our relationship with God, we develop this more. We should keep on
cultivating this through prayer and God’s word.
We have seen so many times how Mama Mary pondered the words spoken to her in her heart. It
was her placing everything in the care of the Holy Spirit and waiting on His guidance that bore
fruit.

III. Finding our Balance

A. Letting go of Personal Attachments

a. Fixation to accomplishments
The modern-day woman is career driven, we get a high degree of satisfaction from our
accomplishments. While we should strive for personal success, it should not be at the expense of
family life.

b. Vanity
Even if we say that age is just a number, we fear looking old. We go to great lengths to look good.
While our husband needs an attractive spouse, there should be a limit to our vanity.
Aging with grace.

c. Free of craving for praise and recognition

Human nature dictates our craving for praise and recognition. We should strive for selflessness and
humility. Know that what we are building is not just for people to see and congratulate us, it should
bear spiritual fruit else it is in vain.

d. Envy
Envy is a feeling of discontent and a longing for what someone else has. Women are prone to envy
and discontentment. Let us be happy for what others have.

e. Desire for Independence

We long for our “me-time”, seek our own space to build our career and pursue our own interests.
Let us obtain our husband’s support through proper communication and dialogue. It is important to
have some time for yourself but not at the cost of not taking care of the family. Discussion and
planning goes a long way!

B. Fixation on others
a. Gossip & Curiosity
Because of our desire to help others, sometimes we go beyond concern and border on gossip out of
curiosity. Let us guard against fake news especially if this affects the reputation of others.

b. Intrusion on privacy of others

Our concern for others should be put in proper perspective. We should be careful of this not to lead
into an intrusion of the privacy of others.

C. Desire for Prayer and God’s word

a. Spend time in prayer
Give your first hour to the Lord, regardless of how busy life gets. This is how we can cultivate the
gift of discernment. God will give us the power to finish what lies ahead in our day.

b. Seek God’s word through the Bible and Christian books

A deep desire to read God's words through reading the bible and Christian books will help us
understand God’s will for us and our family. We become true to our vocation as we are plugged into
the main source of power – God’s words.

c. Serve
Amidst the busyness of raising a family and having a career, we should support our spouse in his
service in the community. We should support him in bringing the entire family in service to God.
We should not be an obstacle that will hinder him from fully experiencing the joy of service, and
join with him wherever possible.

IV. Headship and Submission: Being a Suitable Helpmate

The voice of the modern-day feminist shouts for equality with men. Not fully knowing that in God’s
eyes, we are created equal but different. As a suitable helpmate, we are of equal stature. We have the
ability to play a complementary to our husbands, not as the weaker sex but a suitable helpmate.
The biblical standard for headship and submission in marriage is in Ephesians 5:21-32.
Further, Ephesians 5:33 “you also, each one of you, must love his wife as he loves himself; and
let every wife respect her husband.”

Pope Pius XI Casti Connubii

This.. does not deny or take away the liberty which fully belongs to the woman both in view of her
dignity as a human person, and in view of her most noble office as wife and mother and companion;
nor does it bid her obey her husband's every request if not in harmony with right reason or with the
dignity due to wife;... For if the man is the head, the woman is the heart, and as he occupies the
chief place in ruling, so she may and ought to claim for herself the chief place in love. ....

We are a team. As members of the same team, with our husband as team captain, we are designed to
help him in his role. We are co-captains of the same team and we will help create a winning team.
Here are some practical suggestions on how we can be the suitable helpmate that God wants us to
be:
1. Respect the headship of your husband towards the family. You are members of the same
team, do not contradict him in public, do so in private.
2. Outdo each other in love and service. Support in fulfilling each other’s work, this is not a
competition.
3. Appreciate your husband’s contribution to the family. By doing so, he will constantly seek to
do more to get your affirmation and appreciation.
4. Being available to your husband emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually.
5. Look for positive role models of how to stay in love and happily married. They may be older
members of MFC, godparents and or your parents.

V. Sisterhood
Having sisters in the community, in our households that serve as good examples in different aspects
of our womanhood is a blessing. Even more, is when we open our lives and allow other women to
tell us where we may be going wrong or sharing better ways to handle situations at home.
We need to be sisters to each other that challenge towards better marriages and greater holiness.
Good spouses make great saints! Other women who understnad what we’re going through are able
to give us an objective perspective to situations that may be very emotionally charged.

Building trust with other women can be difficult since most of us fear our trust being broken, but
once we find sisters to journey with, we wouldn’t trade them for anything.
Proverb 27:17 tells us “ An iron sharpens an iron.” - This is so true when it comes to finding sisters
to be that iron in our lives.
Romans 12:10: Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.

Sharer profile:
A sister who has benefitted greatly by having other sisters see through the blindspots in her life
and challenge her to change especially in difficult situations

VI. Cultivating a Relationship with Mama Mary to realize our role as women
1. Praying and meditating on the Rosary
2. Understand that once baptize we have been placed in the womb of our Lady and all that we do,
think and say is from her womb. Being mindful of her being between us and the world would keep
us from saying and doing things that we know are offensive to the Lord but still persist in doing it.
This helps us to speak with our Lady in relating to the world around us, dealing with our spouse,
children, family and community.

VII. Conclusion
When you are in love, everything will come out automatically. There are everyday tasks of earning
a living, maintaining the household running smoothly and raising a family. This makes romantic
love difficult to maintain. Love becomes an everyday decision, a commitment to love
unconditionally even when the positive emotions are absent.