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Trần Quang Minh (2)
Trần Quang Minh (2)
word
count để dễ theo dõi độ dài của bài hơn nhé ạ
LESSON 5 (DRAFT 1)
The given line graph compares the amount of fish, lamb, beef and chicken consumed
weekly per person between 1979 and 2004. In general, it is clear that the consumption of all
these types of fish and meat showed / EXPERIENCED/ WENT THROUGH a downward
trend throughout the period except for chicken, which bucked the trend. It is also noticeable
that the quantity of fish EATEN recorded the lowest figure.
MORE SPECIFICALLY, In 1979, a person consumed roughly 210 grams of beef per week
WHICH WAS THE HIGHEST AMONG THE MEAT STUDIED, whereas the figures for
chicken, lamb and fish were approximately 140, 150 and 50 grams respectively. After that,
the consumption of chicken rose dramatically and by 1994, it had surpassed beef and lamb
to rank first with 220 grams.
In 2004, the amount of chicken consumed by a person weekly reached an all-time high of
nearly 260 grams and took the lead, while that of fish was only around 50 grams. The
figures for beef and lamb ranged from 60 to 110 grams WERE AROUND 110 AND 60
GRAMS RESPECTIVELY per person per week.
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The line graph illustrates the proportion of families with electrical appliances. Overall, it is
clear that all these types of electrical appliances shared an upward trend throughout the
period given. ADDITIONALLY, Refrigerator OWNERSHIP was highest in the majority of
time/IN ALMOST ALL GIVEN YEARS and it also witnessed the most significant changes.
In 1920, washing machines were head and shoulder above the others with 40% of
households USING THIS MACHINE, followed by vacuum cleaners and refrigerators with
30% and nearly 0% respectively. AFTERWARD, THE FIGURE FOR Refrigerators
increased sharply before surpassing THAT OF washing machines and vacuum cleaners to
rank first, with AT 90% by 1960. At the same time, the figures for washing machines and
vacuum cleaners covered STAYED at 70%.
In the next 59 years, the percentage of households with refrigerators and vacuum cleaners
climbed moderately and ended at 100% in 2019. MEANWHILE The figure for washing
machines fluctuated with an upward trend and stood at only 75% in 2019.
144 words
Draft 1 Lesson 5 của Quang Minh khá ổn rồi nhé ạ, các cụm từ và cấu trúc ngữ pháp đã
được vận dụng khá linh hoạt; số liệu và biểu đồ cũng được phân tích hợp lý. Tuy nhiên mình
cần lưu ý một số thứ sau:
- Đối với bài 2, các thiết bị điện được nhắc đến là nói chung chứ không chỉ ra cái nào
cụ thể nên mình phải dùng số ít nhé ạ. Và những thứ đó không phải danh từ riêng nên
mình không viết hoa nhé (lỗi này em đã sửa ạ).
- Phân tích số liệu chưa có nhiều sự tương quan so sánh và chủ yếu chỉ là liệt kê số
liệu. Paraphrase cũng chưa phong phú (bài 2 còn nhận diện sai chủ ngữ). Mình cố
gắng khắc phục những lỗi này trong bài viết lại nhé ạ
LESSON 3 (DRAFT 2)
(Fish) In 1979, the amount of fish consumption was about 60 grams per person
per week. After that, this figure fluctuated mildly with a downward trend and
ended at approximately 50 grams in 2004.
(Lamb) There were roughly 150 grams of lamb consumed per person per week.
Throughout the following 25 years, this figure fluctuated steadily with a
downward trend. Afterwards, one person consumed practically 70 grams of lamb
per week in 2004.
(Beef) In 1979, one person consumed about 220 grams of beef per week. After
that, this figure fluctuated significantly with a downward trend and hit the lowest
point of around 120 in 2002. Afterwards, the quantity of beef consumption
finished at 130 in 2004.
(Chicken) In 1979, there were nearly 150 grams of chicken consumed weekly on
average. From 1979 onwards this figure fluctuated significantly with an upward
trend and reached an all-time high of approximately 260 in 200 by 2004. After
that, chicken consumption decreased slightly before ending at roughly 260 in
2004.