I'll Prove to You (and myself too)

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/26314510.

Rating: Mature
Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Category: F/F
Fandom: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Relationship: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Kara Danvers & Lena Luthor
Character: Kara Danvers, Lena Luthor, Alex Danvers, Maggie Sawyer
Additional Tags: I Will Go Down With This Ship, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is
Supergirl, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Kidnapped Lena Luthor, Lena
Luthor Needs Therapy, Blood and Violence, Post-Traumatic Stress
Disorder - PTSD, Protective Kara Danvers, Angst and Feels, Slow Burn
Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, they both need hugs
Stats: Published: 2020-09-06 Updated: 2020-09-30 Chapters: 3/? Words:
20052

I'll Prove to You (and myself too)

by RenegadeGirl27

Summary

She was selfish. Lena decided of herself. If she wasn’t, she would have let Kara go. She
would have put distance between them in order to protect her. But she was determined not
to lose the happiness she had found. So she wouldn’t admit to the knowledge she had. If
Kara could carry this burden then she could carry it too. She would carry it. The alternative
wasn’t acceptable.
---
That's it. That's the summary.

Notes

Here's some trash but it's my trash so please be nice to my trash, thank you. Critiques
welcome :)
Regular text is present time, italics are flashbacks.
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters or the show.

See the end of the work for more notes

 Old New Beginnings

Lena Luthor had long since lost any idea of what time it was as she bent over the schematics
strewn across her desk. The design was the only thing occupying her mind at the moment. It was
perfect. Flawless even.

So why isn’t it working?

Lena leaned back in her chair for a moment, giving some respite to her aching neck by rubbing her
fingers into the base.

The prototype technology was a contact lens designed to receive visual stimuli and transmit the
corresponding image to an implantable receiver capable of reproducing the image within the brain.
Essentially, high enough prescription lenses to give the blind back their sight.

Except it’s a pipe dream. Lena scolded herself.

Lena wasn’t religious but she supposed her attempt at healing the blind was considered a
sacrilegious endeavor at playing God. That wouldn’t stop her from trying, of course.

The sun had dipped beneath the horizon, painting the white walls of her office with a soft orange
light that began to turn to something darker. But it wasn’t the change in lighting that had signaled
the current time to the L-Corp CEO. It was instead, the appearance of her assistant Jess who
popped into her office, honorably attempting to convince the brunette to at least try and get an
acceptable amount of sleep that night.

“Yeah, I’ll do that.” Lena nodded absently, barely offering her assistant her full attention. “You
enjoy your weekend, Jess.”

To which Jess responded with an amused look “It’s Monday, Ms. Luthor. The weekend has already
passed.” She found it admirable that her boss got so passionately wrapped up in her work that she
would lose track of anything else, but she also found it sad. Knowing Lena had probably spent the
entire weekend moving between her lab and her office, hardly giving herself a break to get any
decent amount of rest.

“Right, sorry Jess. I’ll see you tomorrow then I suppose.” Lena sighed as she leaned back over the
diagrams before her. Maybe I need to recheck the calibration for the sensor? Lost once again in
the project, Lena missed her assistant calling out goodnight as she re-closed the office door on her
way out.

Lena couldn’t help how her brain was wired. Once she set her mind to a project she had to follow
it through, whether it ended in success or failure. She simply had to explore it fully. Her curiosity
was boundless and her mind thrived on the challenge. There had been a time when she was
younger when she had wondered what it would be like to be not so different from her peers. But
even compared to the other students at the fancy private boarding schools that her mother had sent
her away to- the ones that claimed to only accept exceptionally gifted academic students- she still
stood out at the top. It was a very lonely way to grow up. Every once and awhile she would fall
back into those memories, and in her head she would hear the voice of her mother, chastising her
for the absurdity of sentimentality. Work had always been a distraction from her loneliness, so she
embraced it. It had also been the only way that she had been able to get any positive attention from
her adoptive family. It had been ingrained in her throughout her childhood. Be the best. Anything
less was not acceptable, to the Luthor matriarch especially.

So for all her life Lena had chased the acceptance of the people who had taken her in and the
respect of her adoptive brother.

That was, until her brother tried to turn the sun red.

After that she stopped trying to prove herself to her family. She was too busy trying to prove herself
to the rest of the world now, thanks to them. Her last name had anchored her to their stigma of
xenophobia. So Lena decided to change that stigma. Starting with Luthor-Corp. But she couldn’t
do it from Metropolis. Her family had already done too much damage there. The citizens weren’t
receptive to a rebrand of the company, not yet anyway. So Lena left to rebuild the company- her
company- from the ground up in National City. And she would use it to be a force for good.
Despite her family’s heritage.

Lena had never felt more alone than when she had first arrived in National City. Everyone had
already formed their own opinions of her. She was a Luthor. What more did they need to know
about her to judge her? In public Lena ignored them, slipping on the mask of feigned indifference
that she had become so used to wearing. Privately, she drove herself into her work to prove her
worth through actions, not words. Words were merely vibrations through the air. Rarely did
people convey their true meaning through them, so Lena didn’t trust them. Not until she met Kara
Danvers.

When the blonde reporter had stepped into her office for the first time, Lena had been her usual
guarded self. Always on defense, prepared to be roped in with the rest of her family and accused of
lunacy. After all, Kara Danvers was a reporter. A natural enemy to her by this point. But she had
agreed to the interview for the good of the company. She was re-branding the company: L-Corp.
Hoping to drop some of the negative connotations that had become adhered to the Luthor name.
But as the interview progressed she found her guard slipping. Kara was the most earnest person
she had ever met in her entire life. It was refreshing. Those sparkling blue eyes had reflected no
judgement of Lena’s past, only encouragement and understanding. In truth it had unnerved her
how quickly this complete stranger had managed to disarm her without evening meaning to it
would seem. After the article was published Kara stopped by her office with a copy for her.

“You should start a scrap book.” The reporter had smiled, adjusting her glasses higher on her
nose. “You’re going to do amazing things for the city, not to mention the world. It would be a
shame to miss a moment of it.”

Lena couldn’t remember the last time someone had made her smile so hard that her cheeks ached.

But in true Lena Luthor fashion she had implemented her fail-safe of maintaining a professional
distance from Kara afterwards. Having weighed the potential outfall of that friendship against the
benefits, she found it was a risk she was unwilling to take. And it had worked for a while. Until
Kara asked for a follow up interview some weeks later and she found herself agreeing. As much as
she tried to deny it to herself, she wanted to see those eyes again. Those eyes that regarded her as
more than her family’s legacy. Eyes that saw her, making a name for herself in world that had
already written her off.
Each subsequent interview sent Lena’s fail-safe plan crashing into the ground. Apparently Kara
had been roped into helping cover the business and technology sections at CatCo Worldwide
Media on top of her usual workload.

“I’m almost certain that there are more sources aside from myself you could go to for
information.” Lena had casually mentioned after the third time Kara had set up an appointment
with her to gather some background research.

“I should tell you, once a journalist gets a good, trustworthy, and truly knowledgeable source it’s
hard to let go of it.” Kara chuckled. “It’s a rarer find than you might think.”

“Well then, I suppose I’m stuck with you.”

It was meant to be a joke but the flash of guilt in Kara’s eyes made Lena regret her words. Lena
Luthor, who directed meeting after meeting with groups of the most influential people in the world,
always seemed to fall short in casual one on one conversation. It’s why she didn’t have many
friends…any friends really, if she was being honest with herself.

“I’m sorry to bother you, I could-“

“No. You don’t bother me.” Lena interrupted. “I’m happy to be your source, really. After all, if
you weren’t asking these questions to me you’d be asking people like Maxwell Lord. And well, I
wouldn’t be able to sit idly by and watch CatCo publish the utter nonsense he spews.”

Kara laughed. That infectious giddy chuckle that Lena had come to enjoy hearing so much that she
nearly craved it. Nearly.

She still held herself back. A few months in National City and dare she say she had made a friend
in Kara Danvers. They exchanged numbers and soon enough they would meet for lunch
‘interviews’ which would turn out to be just informal lunches, and then coffee. And then the real
test… Game Night. Kara had to reassure the brunette that her competitive nature would make her
an excellent addition to Kara’s team and was not the negative drawback that she had expressed it
to be. After that there were dinners and movie nights and sleep overs and there was no going back.
Lena found herself, for the first time in her life, with a true friend. Someone that she could confide
in when projects failed or bounce ideas off of when she needed something new to work on. If she
was being honest with herself, Lena would admit that she had become quite enamored with the
blonde reporter, but she didn’t dare act on it. She had come to cherish their friendship too much to
put it in jeopardy. So she pushed away the feelings and simply enjoyed their closeness.

At least until the issues with Supergirl began…

Hours had passed by unnoticed until her desk phone rang, startling her out of the calculations she
was reworking. Her irritation at being interrupted quieted itself as she noticed the call was coming
in from building security. She pressed the speakerphone button to accept.

“Yes?”

“Ms. Luthor, sorry to bother you but there’s been a package delivery.” Tony, her trusted head of
night security informed her.

“At this hour? I haven’t express ordered anything for the labs.” Lena’s brow furrowed.

Lab equipment orders were not something that she forgot. She might lose track of the days but
never lab equipment, if it was essential to the project she knew exactly when to expect it.

“Right, I checked the log of expected deliveries and came up with nothing myself either. I went
ahead and ran it through the security checks and it came back clean. Do you want me to bring it
up?” Tony was by now well-versed in the strict security protocols that Lena had insisted on within
the building. And he didn’t blame her for them. He knew first hand that the Luthor last name had
attracted its fair share of- well, enemies was a strong word- but yes, enemies.

“Yes, go ahead.” Lena ended the call and turned to her computer, pulling up her access to the
security feed.

Receiving packages this late at night wasn’t completely unusual, even if she hadn’t been expecting
them. There had been a handful of them in the past, nothing ever harmful. Usually they had been
from colleagues, gifts of thanks and tokens of appreciation for her help with a project of theirs. But
somewhere in the back of her mind, flags were being raised.

Everything on the security video recording seemed normal when she replayed the arrival of the
delivery man. No shifty behavior there, and no extreme professionalism either, which in itself
could have been a sign of something more organized. She fast forwarded to present time and
watched as Tony pushed a delivery cart into the elevator. On top of the cart rested a black case. It
wasn’t large enough to warrant the use of a delivery cart, so it must be quite heavy despite its
appearance, Lena figured.

Her wariness grew.

Still she cleared off her desk and moved to open her office door, allowing Tony to wheel the cart
up to her desk and lift the box, with some effort, onto it.

“Thank you, Tony.” She dismissed him, her eyes locked onto the crate now. It was about the size
of a regular brief case and examining the side that faced her, she could make out a handle that
supposedly retracted into the siding of the case.

So the casing itself must be thick for the handle to retract. She observed.

“Are you sure Ms. Luthor?” Tony was also eyeing the case, his face showing obvious suspicion.

“Yes. You can return to your duties.”

If it is a bomb, there’s no sense in vaporizing the both of us when I open it. She mused to herself,
only mildly concerned that the object truly was some type of weapon of mass destruction.

As Tony left, she gave herself the time she knew it would take him to reach the ground floor lobby
where, if an explosion does occur, she hoped he and the other security guards will be able to vacate
the building before it collapsed. While she waited she circled her desk slowly, eyes never leaving
the case as she expertly examined the exterior. Besides her initial observation regarding the
thickness of the case, her next conclusion made was that the material, while darkly metallic,
appeared to have a coating. Daring to scratch her fingernail along one corner she confirmed her
suspicion as the dark paint gave way to reveal the true metal beneath it. Lead.

The realization sent her thoughts immediately to the resident Kryptonian of National City.
Whoever sent this package had taken deliberate care to make sure that Supergirl would not be able
to see whatever was inside of it.

Well that can’t be good.

Lena could now practically smell the involvement of her mother and brother on the case sitting on
her desk. Whatever was inside probably wasn’t meant to kill her. Despite the bad blood between
them, Lex had never tried to harm her, even after she had testified against him in court. And being
that her mother had never come after her for it either, Lena inferred that he had ordered Lillian not
to. Her mother, who never let her forget even for a second how she had betrayed the family that
took her in, would have only offered her mercy if Lex had asked for it on her behalf.

Still, if they were sending her a lead case, she couldn’t imagine anything beneficial being inside of
it.

She contemplated calling Kara immediately. But decided against it, not until she knew what was in
the case. Her gut was already telling her what she would find, and if she was right, she wouldn’t
want Kara anywhere near this thing.

Upon Lena’s arrival in National City, Supergirl had waited a full three days before she arrived on
the balcony of Lena’s office one night. She had waited patiently for Lena to open the sliding patio
door to allow her in.

“I was wondering when you’d show up. But most visitors have to make an appointment, you
know.” Lena had greeted her and instantly regretted her words. She probably should have been
showing the upmost kindness to the superhero in order to distance herself from the bad blood of
her namesake.

“Sorry, I hope I’m not interrupting your evening. I just thought I should introduce myself.”
Supergirl’s cautious smile had been tinged with guilt.

Lena had scripted an entire conversation for this moment before she had even come to National
City. She had planned for this inevitability. She would be gracious but not spineless. She had done
nothing wrong and would refuse to act as though she was a criminal.

“I don’t suppose you mean to tell me your actual name?” It was meant to be a joke, something to
break the tension that was already building in the air. Unfortunately it didn’t seem to settle that
way. She caught the tightening of the muscles around Supergirl’s eyes and before she could
gracefully backpedal the Kryptonian was raising her chin in a mightier-than-thou stance.

“No, I won’t be, Ms. Luthor. And I hope that won’t become an issue between us.” Supergirl’s tone
was firm but not accusing.

Lena regarded the super for a moment. The symbol of her family crest displayed proudly from her
suit. A family legacy that she should be proud of. One of truth and honor and all things good.

It wasn’t fair, Lena found herself thinking. That her family had stuck her with this aura of guilt and
Supergirl’s had bestowed her with one of pride.

But life isn’t fair, is it? Not for anyone. So stop being so prideful and suck it up, Lena.

“No, of course not- I…” Clearing her throat, Lena gathered herself. “Please accept my apology. I
didn’t mean to start off this way. I know that my family is responsible for many things. Horrific
acts that targeted your cousin. And although I never played a hand in those acts, I know it’s only
natural for you to be suspicious of me. I hold nothing against you, Supergirl. But I will understand
if you hold my name against me. I only hope that in time, you’ll find that I am quite different from
my family.”

There, it was all out in the open. Lena brushed off the lingering shame, thinking of how her mother
would have disowned her for such a display of submission. Meeting Supergirl’s eyes once more,
she had found surprise there, and then guilt.

“Ms. Luthor, I believe we might both have made assumptions to start us off on the wrong foot here.
After all, I should have made an appointment.” The Kyrptonian’s lips pulled into something of a
half-smile. “Perhaps it’s not too late for us to start over?” The blonde reached out a hand which
Lena grasped with her own and in the back of her mind Lena had marveled at the fact she could
not detect a hint of the true strength the woman before her was capable of.

“Hello, I’m Supergirl. I’ve heard of the amazing things Luthor Corp has been doing since you’ve
taken over as CEO. I have every confidence that your success will continue.” The half-smile
transformed into a full and bright one.

“Thank you, Supergirl. I’m Lena Luthor, and I look forward to us both doing our part to help
National City prosper. You’ve done some great work here already.” Lena responded, feeling
somewhat silly about having restated her own full name.

After their first meeting they had given each other space. Each respecting the other’s work from
afar for a while before they gradually began to work together. It was small things at first.
Supergirl would show up at her office with a hypothetical question regarding the cababilities of
certain types of alien technology. Then the hero began to ask Lena to analyze some alien
technology that had appeared on the black market, or help her track the chemical signature of an
alien gone rogue. Lena never asked for anything in return. She simply enjoyed the exposure to
foreign technologies that she was receiving, broadening her knowledge and inspiring future
projects.

Then the DEO found out about the Luthor kryptonite stash. And everything began to spiral.

An incident involving red kyrptonite had sparked her retrieval of the compound from her
underground storage bunker just outside of the city. She didn’t want to use it, truly. But if the
situation got any worse, she would be forced to. She prepared for the worst, as anyone should do
so in a catastrophe, and crafted a laser gun designed to harness a concentrated dose of kryptonite
into its beam. Just enough to only disarm the Kryptonian. She had entrusted it to Agent Danvers,
the only DEO operative she believed would act responsibly enough with the weapon as she knew
her to be Kara’s adoptive sister. And if Kara was friends with Supergirl, then her sister would be
sure to take care of the hero and not harm her any more than what was necessary.

It had worked perfectly. Knocking Supergirl unconscious just in time to stop her from hurting any
innocent people. The DEO then confiscated the laser gun and demanded that Lena surrender any
remaining kryptonite. She refused, unwilling to allow a clandestine government agency take
complete control of such a substance. When Supergirl awoke, she had sided with the DEO.
Wanting the kryptonite to be under the guard of the organization. For the second time, Lena was
forced to swallow her pride. She was right and she knew it. But she also knew what would happen
if she didn’t comply. She would be branded a “Luthor lunatic” just like her brother. Supergirl had
lost trust in her already just from her revealing the hidden kryptonite. She couldn’t make it worse
by refusing to hand it over. Even Kara had sided with Supergirl on the issue. Lena should have
realized then what that meant. If she wasn’t so blinded by her emotions she would have.

But regardless of her convictions, Lena surrendered the kryptonite.

As she had stood at the mouth of her storage bunker, watching the DEO vans drive to who-knows-
where with a compound that had unexplored potential, Supergirl had thanked her for her decision.
But Lena had shrugged off the hand that the super had placed on her shoulder. She was tired of
forcing herself to be small just to prove she wasn’t a threat.

“Nothing I did was wrong. I never had any intention to use the kryptonite against you in any
situation accept the one that just occurred. My brother was wrong about a lot of things. But not
about everything. No one should be invincible, it’s too dangerous to leave power unchecked. Look
at what just happened, Supergirl. You nearly destroyed National City! And I know you didn’t mean
to. But the point is that you’re capable of it. And if someone gains control of you like that again…
Well you better hope you can trust the DEO to make the right call about how much force to use
against you.” Lena could hear the bitterness in her own voice. Could practically taste it on her
tongue as she spat those words. She didn’t give Supergirl a moment to respond, although it seemed
as though the hero wouldn’t have been able to muster a suitable response if she’d had the time.
Lena had stalked back to her car, not bothering to look back as she called over her shoulder. “I
hope this favor was worth it, Supergirl. Because it’s the last one you’ll have from me.”

The radio silence that had ensued between the two lasted for several months. During which, Kara
had tried repeatedly to console her.

“I think you both made choices you regret.” The blonde told her one night as they shared a bottle
of wine. “And I think, if you gave her a chance, she would really like to make up for what
happened. Supergirl trusts you Lena.”

“No she doesn’t.” The brunette scoffed before tipping her glass back and draining it just a little too
quickly. “If she trusted me, she wouldn’t have had an issue with me keeping the kryptonite. Instead
she sided with the DEO.”

“Lena, did you ever consider that maybe it wasn’t you that she didn’t trust, but other people?”
Kara’s eyes probed hers.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, things get stolen, Lena. And I know you must have so many safeguards in place to protect
your technology, but don’t you think that, just maybe, the DEO has more protection for it than
you? It’s the same reason she doesn’t tell anyone her identity. I think it’s her way of protecting
you…What if someone wanted the kryptonite to use it against her? If they found out you had it,
they’d come after you for it. I know you won’t want to hear this, but I’m glad you don’t have it
anymore. I don’t want you put in danger for Supergirl’s problems. If something happened to you-
I- well, I’d be a mess.” Kara had given her hand a small squeeze but didn’t meet her eyes at the
admission. For her part, Lena felt as though she was practically shaking and she worried Kara
would feel it, so she slowly withdrew from her grasp, leaning back into the couch with a sigh,
shaking her head. Emotions were exhausting. She had let herself become too attached to things
recently. She was losing her ability to view things objectively. She had found herself uttering the
words she spent her entire life avoiding.

“I don’t know… I just- I don’t know anything, I guess.”

Approaching the case with conviction, she unclasped the top and flipped it upwards before she
could lose her nerve. Her fear was confirmed as she was met with the sight of the green compound
that had been carefully secured within. The kryptonite mirrored the lights of her office, casting
green reflections dancing across the walls. Next to the kryptonite rested a small notecard.

Hold onto this for me, won’t you? – Lex

Even if he hadn’t signed it, Lena would have recognized the neat penmanship of the madman. She
examined the alien mineral now that she had confirmed its sender. It appeared no different than the
kryptonite she had worked with before. The same dark emerald green hue and crystallized
structure, it had no obvious markings of having been tampered with. It glittered beneath her
scrutinizing gaze before she snapped the case closed briskly. Lena’s eyes darted to the large
windows behind her desk. See-through walls really. Her eyes scanned outside but could pick up
nothing unusual in the darkness and no detectable difference in the twinkling city lights. Still, she
reached for the button that would bring down her black-out privacy shades. Not that she would be
staying in her office, but perhaps if someone was watching-which she wouldn’t put it past Lex to
have someone doing just that- they would assume she had stayed. Shoving the heavy lead case
back onto the delivery cart she headed for her private elevator. Swiping her keycard for access,
punching in the 14 digit code, and submitting to a retina scan to verify. She had to take this to her
personal lab. It would be safer there. And there were tests to be done.

Eventually, Lena had asked Kara to get in touch with Supergirl for her. Besides the fact that her
sister worked with Supergirl, as a reporter, Kara had managed to snag exclusive interviews with
National City’s superhero, she was perhaps one of the only people in the city that knew how to
reach the Kryptonian, along with her government agent sister. Her best friend had been right. She
had been blinded by pride and self-importance.

By the time Supergirl landed on her balcony that evening, Lena had prepared her speech.
Carefully she would eat her words, saving as much face as she could along the way. What she had
not been expecting was for the Kryptonian to offer her an apology first before she could begin her
own. Supergirl’s explanation of her actions had been exactly what Kara had predicted.

“I trust you and I deeply value your contributions to the missions of the DEO and myself, Ms.
Luthor. You’re too valuable to me for me to place you in danger. I’m sorry I didn’t explain that
before.” And then Lena noticed Supergirl reach for her face, playing it off as brushing some hair
behind her ear, but Lena saw it for what the action was. A nervous habit she was all too familiar
witnessing. Supergirl had been reaching to adjust her glasses.

Glasses that weren’t there anymore.

The Kryptonian’s next words were lost to her as her mind reeled hidden behind her well-practiced
mask of indifference.

Kara Danvers is Supergirl. Supergirl is Kara Danvers. She stood shell shocked before the woman
in front of her. How had she not seen it before? How blind had she truly been lately?
You saw what you wanted to see, didn’t you Lena? And you know exactly why you wanted to
separate the two of them…

Now her mind was racing backwards, combing over every interaction she and Kara ever had.
Every happy moment, every shared secret, every second when she had relished the feeling of
belonging- of not being alone. She hadn’t wanted it to end. She’d noticed the similarities between
her favorite blonde and the hero of National City, but she’d ignored them all.

Because if she hadn’t, she would have lost everything. Kara would have pushed her away, whether
it be for Lena’s own safety, or her own desperation to keep her identity a secret. It all would have
been swept out from under her. And it still could be, she realized when she came back to herself.
She felt the wetness that had built in her eyes and she turned away from the blonde, unable to meet
those earnest blue eyes any longer.

“Le- Ms. Luthor?”

How could you have ignored that voice? The one you’ve started to hear in your own head all day?

“Ms. Luthor, I hope I haven’t made things worse between us. I just- I wanted to explain-“

“No. It’s me who has made things worse now.” Lena’s voice was hardly above a whisper but she
was sure it was picked up by the alien’s super-hearing. She cleared the hoarseness from her throat
before continuing. “It’s me that should be sorry. I’ve been acting like the petulant child that my
mother always believed me to be. I didn’t like the decision you made but I understand it now. I’m
not used to anyone worrying about my protection. Kara Danvers… our mutual friend… has helped
me understand the concept only recently. I’ve always been a little bit selfish. Having to look out for
yourself in the world will have that effect. And I’ve been acting selfishly lately. I hope you can
forgive me.”

Only once Lena had gathered her emotions back in check did she turn again to face Kara. Finding
a sad but hopeful smile on the blonde’s face.

“There’s nothing to forgive, Ms. Luthor.” She insists. Lena nods but her body remains tense. A
new found weight has settled on her shoulders. It was her responsibility to keep Kara safe now.
And she vowed not to fail her. “But Kara Danvers would disagree with you, and so will I.”
Supergirl added. “Kara Danvers thinks you’re the most selfless person she’s ever met. She’s told
me so, multiple times. And she’s right. You help and fight for those who can’t do it for themselves,
that’s one of the most admirable things someone can do. It’s the opposite of selfish.” Those shining
blue eyes pierced her once more.

Lena didn’t have a response. It was getting increasingly harder for her to keep her mask in place.
One slip and it was over for her. So she let Kara turn away, cape swirling behind her, as she made
her way back out to the balcony.

“She cares about you, you know?” Supergirl called back to her from where she was preparing to
lift off. “Kara Danvers. She really, really cares for you. You’re not alone here… Goodnight, Ms.
Luthor.”

In a flash of blue and red the Kryptonian was gone and Lena finally allowed herself to collapse.
Tears streamed relentlessly down her cheeks and she struggled for breath. There was a pain in her
chest but she couldn’t discern its origin. Betrayal, fear, panic? Where did one end and the other
begin?

It took a few minutes but eventually Lena pieced herself back together. Wiping her face and setting
her jaw with resolve.

Kara was wrong, she’d decided. She was selfish. If she wasn’t, she would have let Kara go. She
would have put distance between them in order to protect her. But she was determined not to lose
the happiness she had found. So she wouldn’t admit to the knowledge she had. If Kara could carry
this burden then she could carry it too. She would carry it. The alternative wasn’t acceptable.

There was no opportunity for sleep between tests. As diagnostics were being run by the system for
one, Lena was already queuing up the next. She couldn’t afford to leave any stone unturned. Any
possibility left unexplored. Lex had a devious mind. And a creative one as well. But each
consecutive evaluation brought nothing unusual to light. What was Lex playing at? Surely he
would have somewhere else to hide this on his own? Even if he was in prison he was still capable
of moving it elsewhere, that much was obvious by the fact that it had made it to Lena in the first
place. Being a billionaire, even one that’s imprisoned, meant you could find ways to get what you
wanted. But why send it to her? Was he setting her up to take the blame for some impending
scheme? Did he think that it would turn Supergirl against her? He couldn’t be under the delusion
that she would actually help him in any plot against the hero? Not after she had testified against
him for his crimes?

Morning found her sitting once again behind her office desk, having locked the kryptonite within
her office wall safe. She was surrounded by the accumulated data of last nights frenzied lab
session. The kryptonite was normal. Which left Lena struggling to piece together Lex’s plan.

She should call Kara. She should handover the kryptonite to Supergirl in the hopes that the DEO
could hide it out of Lex’s reach.

Or maybe that’s what Lex was waiting for… It wouldn’t come as any surprise to Lena to find that
Lex had knowledge of an under the table government organization, nor would she put it past him to
already have someone on the inside of it. And since Superman had heard about the DEO collecting
the kryptonite, he had personally come to retrieve every last crystal of it and take it to the Fortress
of Solitude. A place where Lex could not get inside, certainly. So perhaps now, Lex would assume
she would turn the compound over to the DEO and finally his inside mole could get their hands on
it…But then again…why send it to her at all? Why not directly to his inside man?

In the many years that Lena spent on the other side of a chess table from her brother, he had always
managed to employ a strategy that surprised her. He had a masterful way of misdirecting attention.
Yet there were times when he used none at all, allowing Lena to delude herself into seeing moves
that weren’t coming, distracting herself with her own paranoia.

He could be waiting for her to contact Supergirl, watching L-Corp and lying in ambush.

Or maybe his was the long game. Setting her up to take the fall, hoping she would be found
kryptonite-handed.

The longer she sat, the more possibilities she concocted in her mind. And that’s how Jess found her
boss when she strolled into the office at 8am.

“Ms. Luthor? Did you stay here all night?” She noted the blouse and slacks of the CEO were the
same from yesterday, although wrinkled now and the darkened shadows beneath her eyes indicated
she had not slept at all.

“Cancel my appointments for the day, Jess. Something has come up.” Lena didn’t move her eyes
from the data sheets.

“Is everything okay?”

“I’m handling it.” Lena insisted, dismissing her assistant. She sat for a moment longer, looking
from the documents before her to the spot on the wall where she knew the alien toxic compound
lay in wait for her decision. Exhaustion had truly set in now. She had done her best to think of each
possible plot and its contingencies but she had no real way of knowing what Lex was planning. So
she would make the best move on the board that she could for the time being.

Picking up her phone -which she had scanned last night, along with her entire office for bugs of any
kind- she dialed Kara’s number.

“Good morning, Lena.” The Kryptonian’s voice was bright and cheerful as usual. “I’m thinking
Angelo’s for lunch today? They have all you can eat breadsticks this week!”

Lena found herself smiling tensely at the comment. She thought briefly of how her news was about
to impact Kara’s day. But it had to be done.

“Kara, as nice as that sounds, I’m not calling to make lunch plans. I need you to contact Supergirl
for me. I need to see her as soon as possible.” Her weariness was apparent in her voice.

“Is everything okay?” Kara’s tone immediately shifted to one of concern. “What’s going on? Are
you safe?”

Lena felt tears brim at the concern in Kara’s voice. If anyone should be concerned it should be
Lena for Kara, not the other way around right now.

“I’m fine-“

“No you’re not.” Kara called her out gently. She knew the blonde could hear the tremor in her
voice.

“I meant I’m safe. I’m exhausted, yes, but otherwise unharmed. And I can’t tell you what’s going
on just yet, I need to talk to Supergirl first. Just please tell her to come to L-Corp but tell her to be
careful. I think- I think I’m being watched. I can’t be sure.”

“I’ll be right- I mean I’ll call her right now.” Kara stuttered and once again Lena smiled despite the
current situation.

Maybe she’ll fly here on the bus again?

“Thank you, Kara.”

“Of course. Just, you be careful too, okay? Until Supergirl gets there? Promise me?”

A sudden warmth spread in Lena’s cheeks. No one had ever expressed such worry for her before.
Not since her biological mother had passed away when she was little.

“I promise.” She agreed softly. Hanging up and sinking back into her office chair.
Only minutes passed before a knock came on her balcony window. Turning she found Kara, in full
Supergirl uniform, standing on the balcony. As she so often found herself doing these days, she
analyzed any semblance of ‘Karaness’ that she could find within Supergirl. This time, as in many
others, it was the look in those earnest blue eyes. One of unsettled determination.

“Kara said you wanted to see me?” The blonde mentioned as she crossed the threshold into the
office once Lena opened the sliding door.

“Yes. There’s- well, something happened last night. I received a delivery…one that had been
arranged by my brother.” She noticed the narrowing of the Kyrptonian’s eyes at this news.

“What kind of delivery?”

“The kryptonite kind.” Those narrowed eyes widened now.

“I thought all of Lex’s kryptonite had been seized?”

“So did I. Until a lead case showed up at L-Corp last night containing approximately 8 pounds
worth of the compound. I ran some tests on it, here’s all the lab results if you want to have Agent
Danvers or Winn check them over. I couldn’t find any alterations to the compound. I tried
everything I could think of.” Lena handed over the file she had compiled. “The kryptonite has been
secured in my wall safe. It’s still encased in lead so you shouldn’t have any issues transporting it to
the DEO…but Supergirl, if I may… I don’t trust the DEO. Organizations like that, with so many
people… you can run all the background checks you want but people can be corrupted. That’s not
my paranoia talking, it’s statistics. And statistically speaking, not everyone working there is doing
it for the right reasons. I fear Lex may have a mole in the DEO. He’s a billionaire genius and it
would hardly be a stretch of the imagination for him to pay someone off on the inside for access.”

Lena’s theory hung in the air between them for a long moment. Supergirl’s face gave nothing away
now as to her thoughts. And Lena turned, moving to the wall of her office and preparing to open
the safe.

“Don’t.” The Kryptonian called out when the access panel was revealed.

“It’s contained, I swear. I would never bring you within a mile of this stuff if I wasn’t sure of that.”

“I know that, Ms. Luthor. I trust you completely. Which is why I won’t be taking this to the DEO.
And I won’t be telling them about this either. You’re right. It’s naïve to think that the DEO is
incorruptible no matter how much I wish that was the truth. But I believe that you are. So I’ll leave
it in your care, should the time come that you ever need to use it… But if Lex asked you to keep it,
then he’s planning something, and he’ll be coming for it somewhere down the line. Are you sure
you want to be in that position? It’s a dangerous one.” Supergirl pointed out.

“I can handle my brother.” Lena insisted. “I’m not afraid of him. Even after I went against him and
my mother he’s never tried to hurt me before. I don’t think he would take extreme measures against
me. That part of him is the only thing that still makes him human I think.”

“Only if you’re certain, Ms. Luthor. And if you ever change your mind I’ll come back and hide it
somewhere else. Just let me know.” Supergirl asserted.

“I am sure. And I’ll keep you up to date if Lex tries to reach out again.”

Supergirl nodded solemnly.

“Thank you, Ms. Luthor. I appreciate your trust in me.”

“You’re the one trusting me with kryptonite.” Lena pointed out, arching an eyebrow.

“But you’re the one who brought it to me in the first place. Our kryptonite fallout was only a few
months ago. I made the wrong choice then, but I know I’m making the right one now.”

“You had your reasons. And I understand them now. But for the record, I’m rarely ever wrong.”
Amidst all the heavy tension of what Lex might be scheming, Lena couldn’t resist smirking.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Supergirl smiled.

“Oh and Supergirl!” Lena called out as the Kryptonian walked back out to the balcony. “Tell Kara
thank you, for getting you here so quickly.”

The blonde nodded although Lena caught the guilt in the bright smile she flashed before she took
off.

A weight had finally been lifted from her shoulders. Despite what she had told Kara, only time
would tell if she had made the right call here today and months prior. She hoped to whatever God
there was that she had. For Kara’s sake above her own.
 Old New Friends
Chapter Notes

I find writing from Kara's POV more challenging than Lena's for some reason and
maybe that says too much about my emotional status but that's for my therapist to
figure out.
Anyway, here's some words. Kinda not what I expected myself to write but it kinda
just happened without my permission, my b.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Kara tried desperately to ignore the guilt she felt creeping up within her as she returned to CatCo.
Lena’s news had shaken her, as had her parting request to ‘thank Kara Danvers’. At this point she
wasn’t sure which gave her more anxiety. The fact that Lex Luthor was potentially putting together
some type of evil plot or that she was still lying to Lena about her identity.

Now more than ever Lena would be in the cross-hairs. She couldn’t possibly reveal herself with the
possibility that Lex could be watching. That would be detrimental not only to herself and her
family, but to Lena. If Lex figured out how deeply she cared for his sister would he continue to
leave Lena unharmed in his scheme? Or would he target her specifically to draw Kara out? The
risk was too much, Kara decided. She had to stay hidden. At least until this was over.

But that’s always what you tell yourself, isn’t it? Tell her when the bad guy has been put away, it’ll
be safe then. But is never happens. Because there’s always another bad guy. It’s never safe, is it?

Kara continued to berate herself as she made her way back to her desk now dressed in her signature
trouser and button down look. Adjusting her glasses as she sat down, she debated whether she
should call Lena to check in. She had kept a careful ear towards L-Corp as she flew back to work,
just in case Lex had been watching and preparing to ambush, but no cry for help caught her ear.

Deciding it couldn’t hurt just to check she picked up her phone and dialed Lena as she left her desk
and made her way to the back offices that were unclaimed for some privacy. Lena answered on the
first ring.

“Hey, Supergirl told me you were safe but I just wanted to reach out if you wanted to talk? She told
me a little about what’s going on, I hope that was okay. I’m just worried. But if you don’t want to
talk that’s okay too. I just wanted to make sure you know that I’m here. For when you’re ready. I’ll
always be here.” She found herself rambling on as she so often does when talking to the brunette.
It’s like her brain short circuits and all of her words want to come out at once, and they usually do,
just not always in the way she wanted them to.

“It’s fine, Kara. And yes, I’m safe, I appreciate your concern and that you got Supergirl here so
quickly. I’m… dealing with the fact that my brother has apparently not reformed his ways since
being imprisoned… It’s an idea that I’ve always struggled with in the back of my mind… but now
it appears to be a reality. I shouldn’t be surprised, of course…”

“But you had hoped that he had changed.” Kara finished where she left off. Lena Luthor may come
off to many as cold and superior but Kara had come to know the real woman beneath the persona
she wore in public. And she knew that when Lena cared about someone, she did so deeply, even if
she didn’t outwardly show it in obvious ways. But Kara caught glimpses.

“Yeah… I guess I did… Listen, thank you for calling but I need to get back to work. I had a long
night last night and I’ve fallen behind on other things.” Lena’s voice had taken on that brisk quality
that turned up when she was trying to reign in her emotions. She was closing back up and Kara
knew she probably shouldn’t have tried to talk to her about this over the phone while the CEO was
at work. Lena couldn’t be seen as vulnerable there. Not in her stronghold. Lena’s own Fortress of
Solitude, Kara had come to think of it.

“No, of course, I’m sorry, I-“

“Don’t be sorry. I just- I can’t… Perhaps we could talk about this another time.” Lena offered.

“How about later tonight? Dinner at my place? I promise I’ll order in though, not cook anything
myself.” Kara attempted a joke to lighten the mood that had been growing somber.

“I don’t think I’d be much company this evening…”

“I won’t push you to accept. I just think maybe it’s not the best idea for you to be alone tonight?
All things considered…”

“All things considered, I shouldn’t be putting you in the cross-hairs with me if Lex decides to make
a move tonight.” Lena countered softly.

“All the more reason for you to not be at your apartment if he does. And you’ll have backup. I can
call Supergirl in a second if anything happens. Please, Lena.” Kara added softly.

She detects a shaky breath on the other end of the line, barely noticeable even with her super-
hearing. Silence stretches on for what seems like much longer than the mere seconds that it
occupies in actuality.

“Okay.” Lena’s acceptance is only above a whisper. “What time would you like me to come over?”

Kara feels as though her heart expands a little within her chest in preparation to see Lena later on.

“How about 6pm?”

“I’ll bring the wine, and lots of it.” Lena proposes, her own attempt to lighten the mood as well and
Kara takes that as a positive sign.

“Excellent. I’ll see you tonight then. And Lena, you’ll keep being careful today, won’t you?” Kara
can’t help but add.

“I will, Kara. Thank you for calling. It means a lot to me that you did.” Lena mentions.

“Well you mean a lot to me.” Again words escape her mouth without her permission but she
doesn’t take them back. Because they are the truth. And she keeps so many other secrets from Lena
that anytime she can tell her the truth she does so, with no hesitation.

“I’ll see you later.” Is Lena’s response before she hangs up and Kara worries that she has made the
Luthor feel uncomfortable at her admission of affection. That thought makes her shrink down in
her chair.

She tries not to keep any secrets from Lena other than her identity. But there is one that has become
more and more of an issue as she became closer to the CEO. Kara values their friendship
tremendously but she’d realized over the past few months that her feelings for the woman have
begun to extend beyond that friendship.

It had terrified her at first. She tried to convince herself it was no different than the familial love
she had developed for her foster family here on Earth. But it was. She felt drawn to Lena in a way
she hadn’t been to anyone before. She was falling for her. Hard. But she refused to act on it.
Refused to even admit it to anyone, let alone Lena herself. Although she suspected the brunette
might feel similarly about her, Kara couldn’t allow anything to come of these feelings. Not as long
as Lena didn’t know who she really was. What she really was. A romantic relationship would mean
intimacy. Intimacy that would no doubt expose her alien-ness. And then how would Lena feel
about being lied to for so long? Even if Kara tried to justify why, would Lena accept her
reasoning?

And now Lena was in more danger than ever. And although Kara knew she hadn’t been the one to
instigate any of Lex’s schemes, she was still his target. Her very existence could be putting Lena in
the line of fire. Would it truly be safer for Kara to keep an eye on her tonight? Wouldn’t she be
safer away from a Kryptonian? Kara began to second guess everything as usual.

Truthfully she wished Lena were beside her now. The brunette’s steadfast confidence and
decisiveness were qualities that Kara both deeply admired and envied. Even more so after she
discovered the emotional turmoil that so often lurked beneath the mask Lena put forth. A mask
Kara was all too familiar with, but hadn’t been able to get behind until Lena allowed it.

Originally the plan had been made for lunch, but turned into dinner when Lena had a work
conflict. The CEO had offered to make a homemade meal for them at her apartment. A deal which
Kara had eagerly accepted. She had never been to Lena’s apartment before. Lena was anything if
not private about her personal life. Kara had been given only glimpses of the real woman behind
the mask during their previous encounters and she found herself wanting to know more. Wanting to
be closer. And here was the perfect opportunity. She considered Lena’s invite to her own home as
an expression of Lena’s willingness to share the more private part of herself with Kara.

Kara had shown up at the impressive apartment complex with wine in hand, hoping she had picked
one that Lena would enjoy. When she arrived at the penthouse apartment her breath was
momentarily taken from her once the door opened and her worry about the wine choice forgotten.
The dark green dress Lena was wearing hugged every curve she had to offer while a dip in the
neckline revealed the gentle slope of her collar bone.

“Sorry, I didn’t take the time to change after work.” Lena looked down at herself, she must have
caught onto Kara’s staring. Had to have, because Kara’s eyes were still on her figure. She jerked
them back up to Lena’s face and prayed to Rao that her cheeks weren’t blushing as hard she
thought they were.

“No, that dress looks amazing on you! I was just- wondering where you got it?” Kara covered
quickly. Lena raised an eyebrow and quirked a smile.

“Oh, thank you. It’s a Roland Mouret design. Come on in, I just started cooking the pasta so
dinner might be a few minutes. I’m making chicken parmesan, I hope that’s okay?” Lena opened
the door wider and gestured for her to enter.

“That sounds amazing! And it smells even better.” Kara inhaled the smell of Italian herbs wafting
from wherever the kitchen was. If the size of the entryway was any indication, Lena’s apartment
was massive, three times the size of Kara’s own. “I brought wine. But I’ll admit that I’m not the
best at pairings so I won’t take any offense at all if you decide against serving it.”

Lena took the bottle from her hands with a smile.

“This should pair wonderfully, Kara. Thank you for bringing it.” The brunette led her deeper into
the apartment and Kara couldn’t help but take in her surroundings. The ceiling was high and the
entire west wall of the apartment was made of windows, one of which acted as a patio door to
access the balcony overlooking the city. The spacious living room offered several seating options,
all of which looked to be the most luxurious furniture Kara had ever seen. Adjacent from one of the
cozier looking couches was a large fireplace, several picture frames and a few awards displayed
on the mantle. As Lena moved to the side, Kara followed her to the kitchen, a large space with
granite countertops and high-end looking appliances, most of which Kara doubted she would be
able to use. On the stove sat several pans and two plates were waiting on the counter, but other
than that the area was immaculately clean. Kara cringed thinking of the state her place had been
in during Game Night compared to this.

“Your place is amazing. The view you get from here must be fantastic!” Kara admired, wandering
toward the west wall. She felt Lena’s eyes on her back and turned to find the woman observing her
quietly, fidgeting the wine bottle in her hands.

“Yes, it’s quite spectacular to watch the sunsets on clear evenings. But I think I regret getting an
apartment so large. I don’t have nearly enough stuff to fill it with.” Lena shrugged, dropping her
gaze to the glasses she had pulled out for the wine.

“No roommates?” Kara joked and earned a chuckle from her friend.

“Not a chance. I’m much too paranoid to trust someone around my work on nights when I bring it
home with me.” Lena chuckled and poured the wine before crossing the apartment to hand her a
glass. They stood together at the window for a moment, both taking in the view.

“But it does get lonely sometimes, I’ll admit that.” As soon as she had said the words Lena lifted
her wine glass to her lips. Kara detected a change in her heartbeat. It picked up speed in that way
it did when Lena was feeling anxious.

“I felt that way too when I first came to the city. The town I came from, Midvale, it was so small.
Everyone knew each other kind of small. And growing up with an older sister always in your
business made it seem like I was never alone. Once I moved into my apartment by myself here
though, it was so weird for the longest time. It definitely took some getting used to. Sometimes I’m
still getting used to it.” Kara offered. Pleased when she heard Lena’s heartbeats slow once more.
But Lena didn’t say anything, just took another sip of wine and then excused herself to go check on
dinner. Kara got the feeling Lena wanted to open up to her, she just wasn’t ready quite yet. And
that was okay, Kara thought, because she would wait for Lena to feel comfortable to do so.

For the rest of her day Kara’s thoughts never strayed far from the L-Corp CEO, earning her several
reprimands from Snapper when she neglected to follow through on a few article leads. But she
couldn’t possibly focus on that today. She was too distracted. Keeping a careful ear pointed
towards L-Corp and debating whether or not she should call Alex and tell her what was going on.
She trusted her sister with her life. Of course, she did. But she knew her sister’s loyalty to the DEO.
Not that she believed Alex would choose her job over her own sister, but Kara didn’t want her to
have to make that choice. Alex would try to find the mole within the DEO and in doing so, it could
tip off Lex that they knew about his inside man. Then who knows what would come next? At least
this way they could try and calculate Lex’s plan of attack. Could keep an eye on the kryptonite.
She would hold off on telling her sister. Just until she could talk more with Lena about what Lex
could be planning and hopefully form a plan themselves.

Briefly Kara wondered when her life had come to this. Lying to her sister. Lying to Lena. And
lying to herself to justify it all.

“Pasta’s ready!” Lena had called as she began to plate the meal.

“Need any help?” Kara offered politely but Lena shook her head, already expertly arranging the
food. She brought both plates to one end of her rather long dining room table as Kara followed
behind with the wine bottle and both of their glasses.

Once they were seated, Kara barely waited a moment before she was eagerly tasting the meal that
Lena had made. It was delicious. Dare she say better than Eliza’s cooking? Kara couldn’t be sure.

“This is so unfair.” She announced after her third bite. “You’re a scientific genius and an
incredible cook? What can’t you do?”

The laugh she drew from Lena danced around her.

“Well cooking is a science in a lot of different ways. Ingredients undergo chemical reactions when
combined or exposed to heat sources, those reactions are what create the mouthwatering effect of
caramelization and searing. It’s all about ratios and balancing the properties of the components of
the dish. Counteracting salty with sweet or acidity with creaminess for example.” Lena shrugged
with a shy smile. Her eyes sparking with hidden joy.

“You love cooking don’t you?” Kara observed out loud and Lena’s eyes met hers, reflecting a
passion.

“I love creating. In the lab or the kitchen, it’s all about experimenting with new ideas and
synthesizing a vision.” Her tone was soft.

“That’s how I feel about writing. Creating a connection between people, spreading new ideas and
fostering change for the better. It’s a rush and I love every second, well except for the times when
a deadline is breathing down my neck and I’m simultaneously having a serious case of writer’s
block.”

They share a laugh and a smile.

Throughout the rest of the meal their conversation feels as easy as breathing to Kara. She asks
about what Lena is working on in the lab and listens in awe as the CEO describes a prototype to
revolutionize the generation of power in underdeveloped countries with little to no negative impact
on the surrounding environment. When asked about her day, Kara explains the latest story she had
managed to scoop involving the corruption of a local politician that had been dipping into the
donations he had been raising under the guise of a charity program.

By the time Kara finished one and a half more helpings she is convinced that in another life, Lena
was a professional chef. After they clear up the table together- Kara insisted on helping- they
opened a second bottle of wine and moved to relax in the living room. Drawn by her curiosity,
Kara made her way to the fireplace mantle to examine its display. The awards were from various
societies, recognizing Lena as a leader in the fields of biochemical engineering and astrophysics.

“Wow, how many degrees do you have?” Kara cocked an eyebrow at the woman who had sunk,
somehow gracefully, into the sofa across from the fireplace.

“Officially? Just those two.”

“And unofficially?” Kara presses.

“Four I guess. I was given honorary degrees in Operational Research and Theoretical Physics
with Applied Mathematics from different universities as a result of my help with a few recent
breakthroughs in the industries.” The tone of her voice made it feel as though Lena was
uncomfortable with the subject and Kara was bewildered as to why that could be.

“Those are incredible accomplishments, Lena. I can’t even imagine how hard you must have
worked for them. You’re an amazing woman.” Kara regarded the brunette who now looked to her
with a slight furrow in her brow.

“What is it?”

“Nothing just- well most people assume I received them based on just having the last name that I
do. There are some universities and programs out there that offered me accolades without so much
as requiring me to fill out an application for them. I refused them. They only wanted to be
connected to a prominent name circulating in the scientific community. It’s nice to be recognized
for my actual contributions to the fields though.” The Luthor’s tone remained soft, cautious even
as she explained herself. Lena rose from the couch and made her way over to stand beside Kara at
the mantle.

“That’s crazy! You’re a genius. Who would think that you didn’t earn these?” Kara gestured to the
plaques.

“Lillian Luthor.” Lena answered truthfully. The shrug she offered was nonchalant but Kara caught
the tinge of hurt in her voice.

“Lena, I mean you no offense, but your mother was hardly Mother of the Year. I don’t think she’s
qualified to judge anyone on their merits, least of all you.” Kara inched closer and bumped her
shoulder gently. The beginnings of a smile tugged at Lena’s mouth.

“Thank you, Kara. But she wasn’t my mother, not really. We had- well, to call our relationship
‘complicated’ would be an understatement. Then again, to call it a relationship at all would be
generous.” Lena chuckled ruefully as she reached for the picture frame at the center of the mantle
and handed it to Kara.

It was a picture of the Luthor family. Lionel and Lillian standing side by side with their hands
placed on the shoulders of Lex and Lena standing in front of them. Lena looked to be about 10 or
so in the photo. None of them were smiling in it, all the faces were serious and commanded an aura
of respect. But in young Lena’s eyes, Kara saw uncertainty. She waited patiently for Lena to
continue.

“The Luthors adopted me when I was four years old.” She admitted and Kara couldn’t stop her
eyes from widening. “My birth mother died before I had time to really know her. I have a vague
memory of what she looks like, so vague I’m not sure I could even call it a real memory. Lillian
always reminded me that I was gifted the Luthor name out of the goodness of her heart, that when I
achieved anything it had been handed to me based on that fact alone. She didn’t acknowledge my
successes as my own, only my failures.”

Lena’s tone was one Kara had never witnessed from the brunette before. It was numb and cold,
green eyes reflected it with an empty quality that scared Kara a little if she was being honest. Her
instincts told her to hug her friend. To wrap her tightly within her arms and tell her just how wrong
Lillian Luthor had been. But she took in Lena’s stance, how she had wrapped her own arms tightly
around torso as though she was barricading herself. Attempting to cover for the vulnerability she
had just exposed.

“I was adopted too.” Kara found herself uttering the words. “My birth parents died when I was
12…sometimes… this is terrible, but sometimes I wonder if it would have been easier if I had been
younger. If I didn’t have the memory of the last time I saw my mother’s face imprinted in my mind.
But then I think of all the good times that we were able to share together and I’m so ashamed that I
ever thought that. I’m lucky that I was able to know them. Love them and be loved by them. I’m so
sorry you didn’t have the same chance, Lena.” Kara settled for placing a hand on Lena’s arm.
Lena’s own hand moved to cover it and gave it a firm squeeze. A comfortable silence fell between
them for a moment.

When Lena’s hand fell away, Kara allowed her own to drop as well, not wanting to make the
brunette uncomfortable with prolonged contact. Lena looked down at the floor for a moment and
Kara frowned slightly at the look she found on Lena’s face. It was one of guilt, nearly bordering on
shame. Lena brought her head up once more and took an audible breath.

“I think it’s human for us to want terrible things sometimes. I used to wish the Luthors would put
me back into the foster system when I was young. I had heard horror stories of other kids that had
landed in awful homes but I thought I was willing to try my luck if it meant the chance that I might
be able to find a family that actually wanted me. Eventually I decided that the better plan was for
me to change myself. To fit into the family that had taken me in. So I started to push myself harder
in everything that I did. I thought I could make Lillian want me, love me even. I was the best of my
class in every grade, excelled in the private lessons I received at home but still she wouldn’t look at
me the same way she looked at Lex. My brother, he hardly had to try at anything it seemed. He just
understood everything so easily. He used to tease me constantly for studying and taking too long on
my homework. But he was the only one that came close to caring for me. He looked out for me at
school when I skipped a few grades and the older kids in my class picked on me. For a long time
he was my hero. And then he became obsessed with Superman. He let it consume him until I could
barely recognize him anymore. The hardest thing I ever did was testify against him after he tried to
turn the sun red. He had nearly killed millions of people all in the pursuit of his own power, but he
was still my brother. Still the little boy who had taught me how to play chess, who would hang out
in the same room as me when I studied just so I wouldn’t feel so alone in the mansion.”

Tears were visible now, brimming in green orbs that refused to let them spill.

“It’s okay to not hate him, you know? Even when the people we love do bad things, it’s okay to still
love them. It’s hard. Because you want them to be better. To be as good as you know they can be.
But you can’t make them want that too. Not always.” Kara offered.
Lena sucked in her lips and nodded, looking out the window for a brief moment, collecting herself.

“You’re good with words, Kara. Even for a writer. Thank you.”

Kara watched as Lena stepped back, putting more space between them. She was confused. Lena
had finally opened up and yet she was trying to close herself off again?

“You don’t have to do that, you know.” Kara found herself saying. Lena simply looked at her in
response.

“Be strong all the time.” She continued carefully. Fearful she was overstepping her bounds if she
hadn’t already. Lena had stiffened and wasn’t looking at her. Kara decided to backtrack
somewhat.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry. I just notice too much sometimes.” Kara stepped back herself.

“Don’t be sorry. You did nothing wrong.” Lena spoke softly. Green eyes looked up to her but they
were more guarded than they had been moments before. “I just… I didn’t expect to become such
close friends with you I suppose. But I’m very glad that I have.” The brunette smiled.

Kara had been cataloging the different smiles that Lena had. There were so many different
variations. There were fake ones of course, the ones she used when she was forced to endure long-
winded conversations with boring businessmen during meetings and parties. Tired ones that were
little more than quirks of her lips. Tense smiles, when Lena was trying her best to ignore something
that was making her uncomfortable but the brunette didn’t want to inconvenience anyone. Shy
smiles that peaked out every so often when she didn’t want to admit to enjoying herself. And best of
all, the real smiles. The smiles that reached those deep forest green eyes. The ones that were
impossible to hide.

“I’m happy we have too.” Kara’s smile matched Lena’s with ease.

If Kara’s phone wasn’t in her hand then it was only a few centimeters away at any given moment
for the remainder of her day, up until she heard a knock on her door. Out of habit she peeked over
the top of her glasses to verify her visitor, not that she needed to, she had locked onto Lena’s
heartbeat once she had stepped out of her town car outside Kara’s apartment complex. Lena stood
patiently in the hall clutching two bottles, one of wine and one that was decidedly not wine. It
appeared that Lena had come straight from work, having not changed out of her CEO attire.

When Kara opened her door to invite her in Lena greeted her with a tired smile.

“So I brought the wine for you but after the day I had, I decided on something a little stronger for
myself.” Lena lifted her bottle of scotch and her tired smile was tinged with bitterness.

“Can’t say I blame you for that.” Kara sympathized as the brunette crossed over the threshold. And
despite the tension that she could feel rolling off Lena in waves, she had to smile at the graceful
way Lena slipped out of her heels on her way to the kitchen island to set the bottles down. It had
taken a few visits to Kara’s apartment- and Kara’s insistence- in order for Lena to feel comfortable
with the intimacy of taking off her shoes. What really spoke to their close friendship was the fact
that Lena was content not only to be barefoot in Kara’s presence, but also to be in lounge wear. It
had been a huge development in their relationship. Lena, who seemed to wield her wardrobe as a
sort of armor, began to let her guard down further in front of Kara. Even becoming more accepting
of physical shows of affection, such as leaning easily against Kara on the couch and resting her
head on the blonde’s shoulder or doling out a friendly touch when maneuvering around each other
in the kitchen.

Kara watched Lena as she went straight to pouring herself a large measure of scotch into a glass
tumbler. The brunette took a long drink and remained bracing herself against the island counter,
facing away from Kara.

“I still have the pjs you left here from the last time you stayed over if you want to get comfy?”
Kara offered. “You know you’re welcome to stay the night.”

Lena hummed, nodded, and took another long drink. Still she didn’t face the blonde as Kara
stepped up next to her at the island.

“Lena?”

The shorter woman gave no indication that she had heard Kara speak her name. She simply
finished the rest of her first drink and went right into pouring a second of equally large size.

“Lena?” This time Kara reached out and gently touched her shoulder.

Now Lena met her eyes. Exhaustion evident in her face.

“I’m sorry.” She voiced quietly. “On top of everything today, work was a nightmare.” She set her
glass down to release her hair from her professional high and tight pony with a sigh. “I promise I’ll
slow down…just after this one.” Lena chuckled, picking up her glass once more.

Kara’s fingers moved without permission, combing into dark locks to drag them back over Lena’s
shoulder. The stutter in Lena’s heartbeat at her action was impossible for her to miss.

“Don’t apologize, Lena. I can’t imagine the stress you’re under right now. But maybe we should
have dinner before you drink half a bottle of scotch? The pizza should be here any minute. How
about you go put on those pjs and then we can slum it on the couch for the rest of the night?” Kara
smiled softly.

Green eyes flitted their way over her face as Lena contemplated her words. Finally she nodded.

“You make a good point.”

Kara smiled in victory as Lena made her way towards the bedroom where she knew she would find
her pjs in the bottom drawer of Kara’s dresser.

Kara went about pouring a glass of wine for herself and getting out plates for the pizza. She was
perfectly content to eat hers out of the box but Lena was another story. Any other night and Kara
would have contemplated slipping a little bit of the liquor she bought from the alien bar in the city
into her wine. It helped so that Lena wouldn’t question her sobriety after drinking an entire bottle
of wine. But not tonight. Tonight she wanted to be fully alert, just in case. Kara would be ready for
anything that came their way.

“Hey Kara…” Lena stepped back out into the kitchen, clutching her pjs in a tight knuckled grip.

“Yeah?”

“This is probably asking too much but…I came right from work and- well I was wondering…
could I use your shower?” The brunette blurted out the last part in a rush.

For an instant Kara was stunned. Lena wanted to… in her-?

“Y-yeah, that’d be fine. Of course you can.” She recovered quickly with a nod, hoping her cheeks
hadn’t turned too red.

“Thank you. I hate to ask but-“

“Lena, really, it’s fine. Here, I’ll- uh, I’ll show you how the shower works.”

Kara didn’t miss the quirk of Lena’s eyebrow at that. Her, the journalist, having to show an award
winning scientist and verifiable genius how to use something as simple as a shower. But Lena
didn’t dispute her offer, just followed her to the small bathroom and observed her instructions of
the hot and cold water.

“Umm, towels are here. You can just drop them in the laundry basket in my room when you’re
done.” Kara added, backing out of the bathroom and still trying not to blush.

Lena uttered another quiet thanks, not quite making eye contact.

Kara all but super-sprinted back to the kitchen. She stood at the counter, her back ram-rod straight.
Super-hearing wasn’t something she could ever turn completely off, but she did her best to keep it
directed towards the door of her apartment rather than the back of it.

Just waiting for the pizza is all. She told herself. Even as the sound of water sputtering out of the
showerhead drifted from the bathroom. It broke her focus for a moment and her hearing drifted in
that direction, catching the soft whisper of fabric over skin.

Nope. Not thinking about that. Not at all.

When the pizza guy finally arrived Kara sent a prayer of thanks to Rao and she was suitably
distracted by the food to not think of Lena in her shower.

That was until Lena padded into the kitchen, barefoot and clad in a pair of soft shorts with freshly
combed hair dripping water onto an old MIT t-shirt of hers. At the time, Kara had a slice of pizza
halfway to her mouth and she couldn’t help but pause and take in the sight of the brunette.

“Couldn’t wait for me, huh?” Lena chuckled, moving up to her blonde friend and bumping Kara’s
shoulder with hers.

“Huh? Uh- no, I mean- sorry!” Kara couldn’t take her eyes of off Lena’s fresh, makeup-free face.
She seemed completely refreshed after the shower, and for that at least, Kara was very glad.

“I’m only joking. I know how you get.” Lena grinned and pulled two slices of pizza onto a plate of
her own and reached once again for her scotch glass.

Kara hurriedly stuffed the slice of pizza into her mouth in effort to stop any further stammering.

“So, Netflix or Hulu tonight?” Lena asked as she made her way to the couch with Kara close
behind.

“I’d like to remind you that Disney Plus is also an option.”

“Of course, how could I forget about watching the second Frozen movie for the 16 th time?”

“Alright, okay, point made. Netflix it is.” They settled onto the couch and dropped their plates onto
the coffee table before them.

“Excellent choice, Miss Danvers.”

Kara hadn’t detected any noticeable difference in Lena’s voice with those words but they still sent
a small shiver down her spine. Miss Danvers…

Stop it Kara. She reminded herself. It was easier to stay focused on being Lena’s friend- and only
her friend when she recalled the guilt that she should be suffocating from right now. But the
pleasant look on the CEO’s face made it hard for her to remember that. Here, in this simple
moment, Lena looked content. Kara was torn between leaving her that way or attempting to verify
that she was indeed okay right now. As they started a movie, Kara decided to hold off and let Lena
continue to enjoy this moment.

By the time the credits rolled, Lena had allowed her body to slump against Kara’s, her head on the
blonde’s shoulder as had become their usual position. The brunette appeared sleepy, unsurprising
considering how much of her scotch she had gone through tonight. But there was still a tension in
her shoulders that Kara noticed. And as she rested her hand on Lena’s back she dug her thumb into
the space between Lena’s shoulder blades in slow circles.

“This is probably a stupid question…and I don’t want to make you more upset…but how are you
doing?” Kara’s voice was a near whisper.

A sigh escaped the shorter girl and she leaned further into Kara’s touch.

“You’re not upsetting me, I promise. This has been exactly what I needed tonight. A break from
the real world… The worst thing about today was being reminded about where I came from. About
everyone my family hurt. I spent most of my day thinking about that. Wondering if I’ve done
enough to redeem myself for that.”

“Oh, Lena.” Kara’s arm circled around her friend tightly. “You have nothing to redeem yourself
for. You took no part in your family’s actions. In fact, you’re the one who did the most to help stop
what they were planning. You are not your family. You’ve never been like them, in any way.
Anyone who can’t see that is absolutely blind.”

Lena swallowed hard, reaching up to clasp Kara’s arm where it circled around her in her own way
of hugging the blonde in return.

“I don’t know what I would do without you sometimes, Kara.” She admitted softly.

“Well, you won’t have to find out. I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”

“I know.” Lena glanced up to meet Kara’s eyes. “I trust you.”

That knot of guilt pulled tighter inside Kara’s chest.

“I trust you too, Lena. With my life.” She added meaningfully. The kryptonite was in Lena’s safe
after all. Even if the woman didn’t know she was Supergirl.

“Just not with my own life.” Lena added with a soft chuckle. “Hence the hiding me away in your
apartment for the night.”

“It’s not that.” Kara protested. “I’m just-“

“Trying to protect me.” Lena squeezed her arm again. “I know. You always are. And I don’t think
I’ve ever thanked you for that…”

“Lena, you don’t have to thank me at all.” Kara insisted. “That’s what friends do. You’ve protected
me dozens of times.”

You just didn’t always realize that because half of those times I was in disguise.

“Yeah, I guess I have…Although you still won’t let me fire Snapper for some reason.”

“Hey, he might be a jerk but I do have to admit, he’s a jerk that knows what he’s doing.”

“Hmmm, alright but you just say the word and he’s gone.”

“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind.” Kara laughed.

She saw Lena’s lips quirk into a smile even as green eyes closed slowly. It was clear that Lena’s
exhaustion was quickly catching up to her.

“How about we go to bed? It looks like you need the rest.” Kara gently urged the brunette up and
stood with her.

Lena hummed in agreement and bent down to collect her dishes.

“I’ll get that. You go to bed.” Kara ordered firmly, quickly snatching up the dishes before Lena
could grab them.

Another hum.

“I’ll get even with you eventually.” Lena murmured, perhaps more to herself than to Kara in her
half-awake, half-sober state.

“Whatever you say, Lena. Now bed.” Kara reminded.

The shorter woman shuffled her way to the bedroom, releasing an adorable yawn on the way. The
Kryptonian picked up the sound of her friend sliding into bed with a tired groan followed by soft
breathing. She listened to Lena’s heartbeat slow as she finished up cleaning. By the time she made
it to the bedroom she was certain the dark haired woman was asleep. Her breathing and heartbeat
had deepened into a rhythmic sound that Kara found hypnotizing as she crawled in next to the
woman. She soon found her own heartbeat matching the rhythm set by Lena’s.

“Good night, Lena.” She whispered lowly. There was no change in Lena’s heartbeat at her words.
She was fully asleep. So Kara whispered again. “I love you.” Before letting her eyes flutter closed
to the lullaby of a heartbeat. She knew logically that Lena hadn’t heard her, but her whispered
confession had helped ease the yearning ache in her chest. For now she would have to settle for
whispered confessions.

But not forever. She promised herself. Just for now. Until she's safe. Her safety has to come first.
Because if she gets hurt...well then it'll all have been for nothing.

Sleep didn't come quite so easily after those thoughts crossed her mind.
Chapter End Notes

Once again, please don't be shy with comments, lmk if I should continue or kill this
with fire :)
 Old Grievances New Endeavors
Chapter Notes

You guyssssss, your comments!<3 <3 <3 Thank you so much! They mean the world
and I love hearing from you! Also, I guess I should mention that some italics are
thoughts. The page breaks + italics = flashbacks. Hope to hear some more from you
guys but most importantly I hope you enjoy the chapter! :)

See the end of the chapter for more notes

As per usual, Lena’s internal alarm clock woke her up before the sun had risen in preparation for
her morning routine. Normally she would have showered, made coffee, and sat down to review the
morning stock reports for L-Corp and check for any messages from Jess or the research staff. But
this morning she allowed herself to simply lay in bed for a few minutes longer. Enduring the cotton
ball, post-drinking feeling in her mouth in order to absorb the warmth radiating from the woman
beside her.

In her sleep she had shifted closer to the blonde. So much so that she woke up nearly pressed
against her. But only nearly. The half or so inch of space between them was very important to
Lena. It resembled the last of her self-control. Precarious but ever present and ever necessary. Still,
she was grateful for the fact that she woke before Kara. It gave her time lay here and imagine what
life would be like if that half inch between them didn’t exist. If she had been able to wake up
wrapped in those strong arms and how much warmer that would feel in contrast to the cold empty
sheets back at her apartment. It was a particularly favored method of torturing herself.

Kara was still deeply asleep. Mouth half open, hair tousled messily across her pillow. She had
taken off her glasses to go to bed of course, so Lena found herself gazing at a slumbering Supergirl.

Kara had been hesitant the first time she’d spent the night, Lena remembered. The blonde had
tried to go to bed with her glasses still on until Lena had reminded her.

“Do you normally sleep with you glasses on?” She had chuckled.

“Oh- uh, no. Guess I forgot.” Kara had fiddled for a moment longer with the frame of her glasses
before sliding them off and carefully placing them on the night stand. Time seemed to slow when
Kara had turned back towards her on the bed as she realized she’d never seen Kara without her
glasses on before. She was beautiful. Well- of course, she’d been beautiful with them on but this
was a different kind of beauty. She looked more…free? Lena frowned at the word her mind had
supplied her with but she couldn’t find a better substitute for it. It made sense to Lena now, but
back then she hadn’t been drawing comparisons between her friend and the alien hero of National
City.

“W-what?” Kara had noticed her staring. She had been quite obvious about it she supposed.

“Nothing. I just realized that I’ve never seen you without your glasses. You’ve never tried
contacts?”

Kara mutely shook her head and glanced away from Lena’s gaze.
“Not that I think you should- I mean, your glasses are-“ She cut herself off by clearing her throat
before she could utter the words ‘both sexy and adorable’.

“Perfectly functional.” She quickly substituted, swallowing hard afterwards.

Oh, excellent recovery, Lena. She congratulated herself, mentally rolling her eyes.

Kara’s eyes cut back to hers with a small smile. “Yeah, they get the job done. I like the simplicity
of them, I guess.” She shrugged and laid back, relaxing into the pillows.

Lena smiled. ‘Simplicity’ was something that she’d never quite gotten the hang of. Growing up,
‘simple’ was equated to ‘lesser’ and ‘simplicity’ to ‘unremarkable’. But Kara was showing her that
that wasn’t the case. Simplicity was nice. It was comforting. It was Saturdays spent recuperating
from wildly hilarious Friday game nights. It was Kara knowing her brunch order by heart, right
down to her preferred brand of coffee. It was a warm embrace that shed bursts of light on the
overwhelming darkness that so often had tried to swallow her whole. It turned out that, for Lena,
simplicity was not as unremarkable as it had been to the Luthors.

To Lena, it was nothing short of exceptional.

Lena let her gaze linger and tried not to let herself think about how easily she could screw this up.
How quickly moments like this could be taken from her. By her own brother. Her so-called family.

She tried to stop the downward mental spiral she felt coming on but it was persistent to say the
least.

If I hadn’t gotten so close to her she would have been safer. But a selfish Luthor gets what they
want, don’t they Lena? How high of a cost are you willing to pay? Are you so careless that you
would risk another person’s life? Kara's life? Apparently so…

Physically shaking her head to rid herself of those thoughts, Lena sat up quietly. She slid from bed
without waking the blonde, gathered her carefully folded clothes, and tiptoed to the bathroom to
change. She really needed to stop to her apartment before work today. If she showed up in the same
clothes for the third day in a row Jess would certainly be asking questions. And making certain
assumptions that Lena didn’t have the mental capacity to deal with currently.

She considered waking Kara. If the blonde woke up and found her gone she would no doubt panic.
Lena decided it was for the best if Kara didn’t panic.

The last time she had, Lena had ended up replacing the balcony door of her office when Supergirl
busted through it to prevent a suspected assassination attempt on the CEO. No such attempt had
been occurring at the time but apparently Lena had given the impression of being in distress. She
had been in distress, technically. But that had been caused by the three month setback that her pet
project and just encountered. Supergirl had just so happened to be flying by when the CEO had
expressed her displeasure by releasing a frustrating cry and throwing her phone across her office.
Admittedly, not her best moment. The hero had found the sound to be alarming and concerning to
say the least. So naturally she burst through the glass door without a second thought... So yeah…
panicking Kara would not be advised.

Even so, as she leaned against the doorway of the bedroom, Lena found herself unwillingly to
disturb the Kryptonian. She often wondered how Kara did it. How she handled a successful, full-
time job as a journalist while also protecting innocent lives from events as catastrophic as invading
alien attacks to those as seemingly menial as a child’s cat getting stuck in a tree. Even Kryptonians
needed sleep, from what Lena knew anyway.

Maybe they don’t require such long periods of physical rest due to constant energy intake from the
yellow sun? She found herself hypothesizing. But that still didn’t account for the sheer mental and
emotional toll that Kara’s responsibilities must take on her. It’s a wonder she can function the way
she does, so normally care-free and cheerful.

There had been times when Lena had glimpsed a different side of Kara. A side more similar to
Lena’s own self. Moments where something unseen threated to overtake her normally bubbly
companion. Something that hooked itself into the corners of that beautiful smile and pulled until it
was only a shadow of its former glory. The heaviness that settled onto broad shoulders, forcing
them to curl inwards shamefully. Lena dreaded those moments but did her best not to show that
they terrified her. The issue wasn’t Kara of course. The issue was never Kara. It was Lena’s own
perceived inadequacies when it came to something as basic as human emotion. Kara always
seemed to know what to do when Lena felt a dark tidal wave culminating within herself. Kara
soothed. With gentle words and thoughtful actions. Yes, Kara was good with soft words and hugs
tight enough that she would quite literally hold Lena together. Lena was not. Lena was good with
money and science. She was not a soother. She was a solver. But she could hardly throw money at
Kara’s inner demons and make them disappear, nor could she vaccinate against them. So that left
her with what exactly in Kara’s times of need? Her clammy, bare hands and the sheer will to not
fail Kara, that’s what. Somehow she had fumbled her way through those moments and somehow
Kara looked at her like she was some kind of savior to behold. And Lena had finally started to
believe that hey- maybe she wasn’t so bad at this? Maybe she was human after all.

Except now Lena had dragged Kara into this new mess. But perhaps this time money and science
could come in handy? Perhaps this was finally a problem Lena could solve?

The thought gave her a new sense of hope for the day ahead and she pushed herself out from the
doorway to sit gently on the edge of the bed. Lena took another moment to absorb some of the
peacefulness found in Kara’s face, brushing a lock of golden hair back in the process.

“Kara... Wake up, Kara.”

She thought she had spoken softly enough but the blonde’s body still jerked when she gained
consciousness.

“Lena, what’s wrong?” She gasped, sitting up quickly and scanning the room.

“Easy, Kara. Everything’s fine. I just wanted to let you know that I’m heading out. I need to swing
by my apartment before work.”

She saw it in Kara’s face before the blonde replied. The hesitation of wanting to say something
when she already knew what Lena’s answer would be.

“It would be pointless for me to ask you not to go to work today, right?” Kara glanced up with
pleading eyes.

“You know me so well.” Lena hummed with a knowing smirk and standing from the bed. Kara sat
up as she stepped away.

“You’ll be-“

“Careful, yes, I promise.” Lena’s mouth tilted into a half smile. “You’ll be careful too, right?”

It was almost comical the way Kara’s eyes widened.

“M-me?”

“Yes, you.” Green eyes darted away. “You’re the closest friend I have, Kara. If Lex wanted
something from me… Well, you’d be his play.” She admitted, swallowing hard as she met Kara’s
eyes again.

“I’ll be careful.” Kara’s voice was quiet. “I promise.”

Lena nodded and slipped out of the bedroom, thinking about the truth of her admission and how
those blue eyes had softened in response. Kara had promised her to be careful. Supergirl had
trusted Lena to keep her safe. But what if… what if Kara didn’t have to be so careful? What if
Supergirl’s safety wasn’t at risk? The only real threat that could harm Kara was kryptonite. But
what if Lena could somehow eliminate that?

Her body shifted into autopilot as she made her way to the town car she had ordered to pick her up
and she didn’t take the time to appreciate the morning views of National City as it passed by her
window. She was too deep in her head at that point. So deep, in fact, that she’d been startled by her
driver opening her car door once they’d arrived at her apartment building. Mindlessly, she went
through the motions of making her way to her penthouse and getting ready for the day.

Lex was intelligent and resourceful, but so was she. And where he had only kryptonite at his
disposal to achieve his ends, Lena had much more. If she could just figure out how to take
advantage of that…Wheels in her mind began turning quickly now. It looked as though she would
be postponing more meetings today. Jess wouldn’t be pleased, but Lena had an experiment to
design.

In hindsight, Lena decided that she probably should have made the time to have something for
breakfast aside from coffee. Her stomach was rumbling at this point and her head was beginning to
ache. But she was finally getting somewhere with her design. In theory, anyway. There would be
an exhaustive amount of testing before she would be willing to say anything with certainty. And
she hadn’t even begun to move into a testing stage. She couldn’t quite yet. There were several
logistic issues that had to be taken care of first.

A sudden tapping on the glass behind her caused Lena to jump, scattering her papers. She quickly
gathered them, flipping them down to conceal her work before spinning towards the window.

Supergirl stood on her balcony, holding a takeout bad and looking sheepish. Releasing a breath and
brushing back a few stray hairs that had come lose from her tightly pulled ponytail, Lena unlocked
the balcony door.

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you.” Kara apologized as she entered the office.

“It’s alright.” Lena eyed the takeout bag. “Let me guess, Kara sent you to check on me?” She
offered Kara the easiest explanation that would make sense.

“And to feed you, yes.” Supergirl thrust the bag in front of herself with a smile that was very Kara-
like in nature.

Lena accepted the bag and peeked inside. Her favorite chicken salad wrap from Noonan’s sat at the
bottom, practically calling for her. But it would have to wait a little longer.

“I’m glad you’re here actually. We need to talk. About a game plan.”
“What did you have in mind?” Kara’s face shifted from pleased to serious as she nodded.

As her answer, Lena picked up the papers from her desk and flipped them over, handing them to
the taller woman. Kara accepted them, her brow furrowing as she studied the pages.

“This is… could this actually work?” Wide blue eyes darted up from the papers.

“Impossible to say at this point. I haven’t actually begun the experiment. This is just the proposal
and planning stage. I wanted to- well, I felt I should ask your permission first.”

Kara’s eyes softened at her words and Lena wondered if she knew how easily her emotions could
be seen there.

“Thank you for asking. But just to be clear you didn’t have to. I meant it when I said I trusted you.”

“Right.” Lena’s lips pulled tight into an attempted smile but it was a cynical one. “Still, I thought it
was for the best. You know what conclusions one might jump to when they find out a Luthor has
been playing with kryptonite.” She points out.

“You’re the exception, Ms. Luthor. I’ve been on the business end of one of your kryptonite toys
remember? I know exactly what Lena Luthor uses kryptonite for: protecting others. And this time
is no different.” Kara handed the papers back to her. Lena felt humbled by her words. As usual,
Kara had just the right way to respond to Lena’s defensive self-deprecating humor.

“But speaking of trust… I’d like to ask your permission for something as well.”

Lena looked up from where she’d begun to sort the proposed experiment pages. Her eyebrow
quirked with interest.

“For?”

Supergirl clasped her hands behind her back, preparing her pitch it seemed.

“I’d like to tell Agent Danvers about you keeping the kryptonite. I trust her implicitly and I know
that she would never betray that trust. Plus, with her in the loop, we’d have a pair of eyes in the
DEO that see a lot more going on behind the scenes than I do. She could be on the lookout for Lex
to make his move with his inside guy. And I know that risks spooking the mole but-“

“I agree.” Lena cut in suddenly. Kara paused mid-sentence, mouth open.

“You do?”

“I do.” Lena confirmed. “I also trust Agent Danvers. Any sister of Kara’s is an ally of mine. Even
if she doesn’t trust me back.” Lena added, her voice lowering for that point.

“Alex trusts you!” Kara protested. “She just- she doesn’t show it well. But that’s just who she is as
a person! Ask Kara, I’m sure she’ll tell you the same thing.”

Oh, I bet she would. Lena hid her smile, sinking into her desk chair again.

“Regardless of any trust issues, Alex Danvers would be a valuable asset to this project. I’m sure
she’d have plenty of input for this.” Lena gestured to her project diagrams. Kara nodded her
agreement and grinned, leaning onto the desk and once again examining the papers.

“It’s good timing that you thought of this. Lex’s threat aside, I’ve been thinking that it was time for
a new supersuit...”
Night fell over National City but Lena Luthor hadn’t been in her office to appreciate the sunset this
time. She’d sent her assistant home early which had triggered immediate suspicion from Jess. Lena
managed to dodge her questions, making up an excuse of needing to help a friend with an
emergency. Which technically hadn’t been a lie. Still, Jess had narrowed her eyes before fixing her
with a knowing smile and packing up her things for the night.

Lena shook off the interaction and headed to her private lab, checking her watch on the way. Kara
and Alex would be here soon. That is… assuming Alex had agreed to come. Kara had mentioned
her last kryptonite experiment earlier in the day and Lena had been thinking about it ever since.
The unveiling of that project hadn’t gone so well for Lena at the time. Hopefully this one would be
different.

It had been 12 hours since Supergirl had begun wreaking havoc on National City. With red
kryptonite in her system she had morphed into a cruel stranger, ignoring cries for help and even
going so far as to inciting violence among rouge aliens. Lena had watched anxiously as the news
covered each of Supergirl’s bizarrely out-of-character actions.

Something had to be done. And soon. Before innocent people got hurt. Before Supergirl herself got
hurt because she had left the DEO no other choice.

Lena took it upon herself to do that something. She barricaded herself in her lab and set to work.

By the 24 hour mark, and the third full scale test of her device, Lena was confident in the solution
she had devised. But she reminded herself that unfortunately, in science, one must always be
prepared for unfavorable experiment results. But as Lena hurried across the city to reach the DEO
field office, she prayed to any deity that might be listening that any unfavorable results with this
one wouldn’t be fatal.

She spotted Alex Danvers standing in the center of the chaos that was ensuing within the DEO
lobby. The agent stood tall and confident as she relayed commands to passing subordinates. Her
figure seemed to straighten further as she caught sight of Lena making her way across the lobby
only to be stopped by two agents requesting her identification and credentials. Lena didn’t bother
answering them, Alex was already on her way over.

“Ms. Luthor, this really is not the time-“ Agent Danvers clenched her hands into fists and Lena
saw for the first time the fury in her eyes. Fury and fear, she had recognized. It was clear that
Agent Danvers was under an extreme amount of stress and was in no mood to be dealing with
anything other than the crisis at hand. Lena could say the same for her own self at that point.

“Agent Danvers, a Kryptonian just visited my office threatening to show me just how powerful she
really was by throwing me from my own balcony. So yes. This really is the time.” Lena interrupted,
brushing her way past the agents who had attempted to reject her entry into the building.

“Oh God, she didn’t actually…?”Alex’s eyes widened and she waved off the guards and guided
the CEO to an empty conference room nearby for a private conversation.

“No.” Lena omitted an explanation of just how close she’d been to learning what it was like to fly-
sans any aircraft.

“It’s the red kryptonite. It’s fully infected her system now. I’ve developed a reversal treatment for
her but we haven’t been able to pin her down to administer it.”

“That’s why I brought this.” Lena didn’t waste any more time and hoisted the large case she’d
hauled all the way from L-Corp.

“What’s this?” Alex looked from her to the case. Lena deftly unlatched the case and lifted back the
top.

“In simple terms: a really big gun.”

Alex stepped forward and gawked at the weapon. “And in not simple terms?”

“It’s a gun capable of light amplification by stimulated emission of radiation.”

“So it’s a laser gun? Ms. Luthor, Supergirl is bulletproof and shoots lasers from her own eyes,
this-“

“Is outfitted to emit a concentrated beam of kryptonite radiation that’s been carefully calculated to
disarm only. So yes, this should pin her down just fine.” I hope, Lena added in her own head.

“Kryptonite?!” Alex hissed, spinning to glance back out to the DEO lobby through the blinds. She
crossed to the window and yanked them down quickly. “Where on Earth did you get kryptonite?!”
She spun back to Lena.

“Agent Danvers, time is of the essence here. Perhaps any discussion you wish to have with me
regarding the origins of this weapon could wait until after this situation has been handled?”

“Oh, there will be a discussion. That I can guarantee.” Agent Danvers vowed with a glower.

“I only have one requirement that must be met before I hand over this weapon-“

“Oh, you’re handing it over regardless of your demands.” Alex practically spat at her.

“My demand is that only you be authorized to use this weapon, Agent Danvers. I don’t trust it with
anyone but you.”

Alex’s stance softened visibly but her face reflected the same intensity. Lena snapped the case shut
and closed the latches, placing a hand protectively over the top. Alex’s eyes darted from her to the
case a few times before she spoke.

“Okay. Consider it done.” She assented.

Lena relaxed her hold on the case.

“But you are not to leave this building until Supergirl has been safely brought in and we’ve had a
talk about L-Corp’s decision to manufacture Kryptonian-specific weapons.”

Lena’s jaw clenched but she nodded her agreement. It was still clenched hours later when she sat
at round table defending herself and her company against the DEO brass…

“L-Corp has claimed that they conduct zero research or manufacturing of weaponry. How do you
explain this weapon then?”

Lena no longer cared to keep track of which official was asking her the question. They seemed to
all be having great fun raking her over the coals for the past two hours.

“The manufacturing of this weapon was funded solely by my personal resources, L-Corp was not
involved in any research in regards to it. None of my data was so much as stored in L-Corp’s
system and the lab utilized in its creation was my own private one where no staff member has been
or is ever allowed to step foot.” Lena clarified as calmly as she could. It was hard, with Agent
Danvers’ scowl deepening with every word she’d said.

“And you claim this has no correlation to any long-standing anti-Kryptonian sentiment previously
expressed by the Luthor family?”

“None at all. If you recall, I personally called the authorities and later testified-“

“Yes, we’re well aware of your supposed role in the event. But you said you had ‘utilized personal
resources’… now why would those personal resources include the kryptonite compound?”

She drew in another calming breath. It would not help her case for her to snap at these arrogant
so-called ‘bureaucrats’.

You are not the enemy, do not make yourself sound like one, she reminded herself before replying.

“Following my brother’s incarceration, I became the recipient of several properties that had
previously been in his name. One of these properties was a bunker that had been reinforced with
various security measurements and defenses, kryptonite among them.”

“And the location of this bunker?” One of the men sat forward with his pen to paper, waiting
expectantly.

“I am declining to release that information, as is my right, afforded to me by the constitution.”

A deathly silence fell over the room. Lena remained as she was, sitting perfectly straight, chin high.

“Young lady,” Lena bristled at being addressed in such a way and was almost so distracted by her
outrage that she nearly missed the words following after. “the constitution does not exist in this
building. The DEO does not operate under normal government rulings and it is given many…
liberties, shall we say, in regards to how it does operate.”

Those words settled like ice on Lena’s skin. The expression Agent Danvers was now sporting was
one of warning. Something about her face said ‘please don’t test them’. But even if DEO officials
had no moral principles, she still did.

“Well then, I am declining to release the location of the bunker on the grounds that I do not
recognize the authority of this organization.” She substituted.

The official at the head of the table fixed her with a glare, his jaw tightening.

“Ms. Luthor,-“ At least now he addresses me properly, Lena mused. “I would suggest that you
take some time to think long and hard about the situation you have found yourself in today. At this
time I am calling a recess to this meeting. We shall continue this discussion tomorrow at 0800
hours.” He huffed.

One by one the officials filed out of the conference room until she had been left alone with Agent
Danvers.

“Lena, you need to cooperate with us on this. It’s for the best if-“
“The best for who exactly?” Lena challenged, her patience had worn thin. “Supergirl was brought
in less than 8 hours ago, I’d like to hear what she has to say about a clandestine government
agency- which it turns out answers to no governing body whatsoever- taking complete control of a
substance toxic to herself and her cousin!” Lena stood quickly from the conference table and had
turned towards the door.

“Supergirl has already agreed that the compound should be confiscated.” Agent Danvers informed
her.

Her steps halted and she looked back over her shoulder.

“She has?”

“Whole-heartedly.” Alex confirmed.

It was like a dagger had been twisted into her chest. Everything she’d done to prove herself as
trustworthy to the hero had been for nothing. Well not nothing, of course. Everything she’d done
had been the right thing to do. But still, she’d thought that Supergirl would have grown to trust her
as a result. The kryptonite gun hadn’t looked good for her, she knew that. But it had performed
exactly as it had been designed to, leaving Supergirl unconscious but unharmed. Although maybe
Supergirl hadn’t seen it that way. Maybe she’d only been fooling herself. She turned to face the
conference room door once again.

“The abandoned steel mill just outside of town.” She found herself uttering with a sigh. “The
bunker is beneath the warehouse. Take it for all I care.” She strode from the conference room with
as much pride as she could muster, although her chin was not as high as before.

At 9pm exactly she checked the security cameras covering the emergency exit door of her private
lab. As they had planned, the Danvers sisters stood in the alleyway waiting for entry. Kara in her
Supergirl gear and Alex in her DEO issued cargo pants and black, long sleeve quarter zip. Lena
fortified herself with a deep breath before she swiped her access card to unlock the door and swung
it inwards. The sisters hurried inside, shooting a few last furtive glances down the alleyway.

“No one followed us from the DEO. I’m certain of it.” Kara said in lieu of a greeting after the door
had closed securely behind them.

Alex said nothing. Instead she began scanning the laboratory with a critical expression.

“Good to know. I’ve sent a majority of my staff home early this evening, with the exception of my
security team that is.” Lena explained.

“And you trust the members of your security team?” Alex spoke up from her silent observation.
The agent had moved from the entryway deeper into the lab and was perusing the diagrams that
Lena had set out on the nearest lab bench in preparation.

Lena hesitated but decided to go with honesty in her answer.

“In truth, no. Not with something like this, I wouldn’t trust any member of L-Corp staff necessarily.
Which is why none of them have access to this lab, nor will they be informed as to what research is
conducted here.” She explained.

Alex nodded but didn’t look away from the lab bench.

“And exactly how secure is this lab?” She questioned.

Don’t be defensive. She’s only trying to protect Kara, same as you, she reminded herself.

“The door you’ve just come through, as well as all the walls of this building, are made of
reinforced steel that requires my personal id card for access and as I’m sure you noticed there was
no handle on the outside. It’s strictly there for an emergency exit in the event of a lab mishap.
Other than that door, the only other access point is the elevator which does not open to any other
floor in this building aside from my personal office. My office requires a key for entry which is
only held by myself and my personal assistant, Jess. The elevator itself requires a 14 digit code,
known only by myself, as well as a scan of my retina. Will that suffice, Agent Danvers?” She
couldn’t help but add.

Alex moved on to stand before the whiteboard containing the project outline but didn’t answer.

Lena looked to Kara as if to say see, I told you so. The blonde responded with an apologetic look of
her own.

“It’ll have to do.” Alex finally replied and turned around to look at Lena for the first time since
arriving. She made her way over to rejoin Supergirl and Lena.

“But I still have questions about this project. Many of them.” Alex ignored the pleading look that
Kara was aiming her way.

“Of course. I’d expect nothing less.”

“My first question is about the testing process. I’m not putting Supergirl in armor that we aren’t
sure even works and exposing her to a toxic substance.” She stated, crossing her arms. Lena
matched her stance with a quirked brow.

“Neither am I. There wasn’t a question in that statement but I’ll assume you’re asking how else
will we test the prototypes? I already have the answer to that problem. If you’ll recall, I’ve worked
with kryptonite before. When I was in the process of developing that laser gun I devised a program
to measure the output of kryptonite radiation. We’ll be using that same program and putting the
sensors inside the prototype suits. No risk at all to Supergirl.” Lena asserted confidently.

Alex nodded, seemingly satisfied.

“Speaking of my previous kryptonite project… I don’t suppose the DEO would have any copies of
my blueprints for that would it? It would be helpful to use those as a jumping off point to reverse
engineer from.”

The Danvers sisters shared a glance.

“The original hardcopy was destroyed but there was a copy scanned and uploaded to the system. I
could download a copy of the file onto a drive tomorrow.” Alex offered. Finally she seemed to be
loosening up.

“That would be a great help. I might be a genius but even my eidetic memory can’t recall the
schematics with perfect accuracy after so many months without having seen them. I worked with
what I could remember to devise a starting point for the first prototype.” Lena led them over to the
lab bench and began to point out her original sketches.

“Ohhh, pants!” Kara exclaimed, snatching up the page for a closer look.

Lena held back her laugh.

“Well yes, pants seem the logical choice due to the actual physical coverage that they provide.
That is the point of armor after all.”

“I love it already!” Kara’s enthusiasm brought a smile to Lena’s face and even Alex was softening
further.

”Maybe if all goes well with this new suit I could be your exclusive designer?” Lena quipped,
smirking.

“I’m sure we could make some sort of deal on that.” Kara teased back with a wide smile.

Alex’s eyes darted between the two of them.

“Well don’t get too excited yet. We have a long way to go.” The agent pointed out, taking hold of
the page from her sister. “But this is a very promising start.” She complimented. “Now tell me
more about this composite material here.”

Lena leaned forward with interest and launched into an explanation. She felt her hopes rising.
Finally it seemed that she and Agent Danvers were putting their own egos aside and finding
common ground. For Kara’s sake at least. Lena knew that the reason Alex was always so difficult
towards her was because she was always protecting Kara. Looking out for her sister like any
responsible older sibling should. Lena still remembered a time when Lex had been similar. Never
quite on the same level as Agent Danvers of course, but then again, the stakes had been lower in
Lena’s case. But that had been a very long time ago.

The discussion between the pair of them grew in depth with Kara jumping in every so often with
either a suggestion or words of encouragement. Otherwise the blonde seemed content to watch
them interact with an approving grin. And on that went for several hours. Until all of Alex’s
questions had been handled and Lena had gone over every aspect of her design with excruciating
detail. When she had finished Alex faced her with her arms crossed once more, expression
contemplative.

“Alright. I think this just might work.” She nodded.

“I plan to make it work, Agent Danvers. And while I understand that this type of engineering isn’t
precisely in your wheelhouse, I would greatly appreciate your further input on this project. Your
knowledge of Kryptonian physiology alone will be imperative to the success of this suit.” Lena
matched her stance.

“I’m in. I can join you here after my shift at the DEO and monitor your progress.”

“And by monitor Agent Danvers just means that she’ll-“ Supergirl tried to intervene but Lena cut
her off with a scoff.

“Oh I know very well what she meant, Supergirl. But your effort is appreciated.” She added.
“Thank you both for stopping by. Agent Danvers, I so look forward to working with you on this.”

Lena turned to show them out.

“Likewise, Ms. Luthor.” Was all Alex said as she followed her to the door. “Same time
tomorrow?”

“I’ll be here.” Lena swiped to open the door and held it for the agent who walked through and
headed down the alley without looking back. Supergirl, however, hesitated on the threshold.
 “I’m sorry, Ms. Luthor. Believe it or not, that was actually her on her best behavior. I’ll talk to her
again, I promise.” Kara’s eyes were pleading forgiveness.

“Don’t bother. I don’t blame you. I don’t blame her either. She’s just trying to protect you, I
understand that. Eventually I’ll get her to see that I’m trying to do the same thing. All the quality
time we’re about to spend together will do wonders for that.” Lena reassured her friend.

“You’re an amazing woman, Ms. Luthor.” Kara’s words were soft, almost as though she hadn’t
meant to say them out loud. They made Lena’s eyes widen regardless. “I just don’t want her to
make you feel like anything less than that.”

Lena found herself no longer able to hold Kara’s gaze. Her cheeks heated and she ducked her head
to hide that fact.

You’re an amazing woman… Kara had told her that before. As Kara. The first time she had really
let the journalist into her life. Into her heart. Had let Kara see the actual mess inside her head. And
Kara hadn’t so much as flinched. Woman of steel indeed.

“T-thank you, Supergirl.” She finally allowed her eyes to gravitate back to Kara’s where they
wanted to be. “If I’m amazing it’s only because you inspire me to be.”

The words slipped from her mouth before she had the time to contemplate if they were appropriate.
And judging by the flush of Kara’s cheeks, she had been pushing it with that.

Oh well, I couldn’t possibly regret them when she looks at me like that as a result, she decided,
losing herself in those darkened blue swimming pools.

“Supergirl! The more time we spend in this alley, the more suspicious it looks!” Agent Danvers
called, startling both of them. The trance holding them broke.

“Right. Well, goodnight Ms. Luthor.” Supergirl finally crossed over the threshold into the
alleyway.

“Goodnight.” Lena echoed, not closing the door until the Kryptonian had slipped into the shadows.

After the lock engaged she leaned her forehead to the cool metal.

That half inch of space is shrinking, Lena. And yet it feels as though it’s a half a mile now…

Chapter End Notes

Too much pining? Maybe. My regrets? None.

End Notes

So there's the first chapter, I have at least a few more drawn out so if anyone is interested
lmk :)
Please drop by the archive and comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!