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*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE CINNAMON HEART ***
THE
CINNAMON HEART,
WRITTEN BY
MR. ARTHUR L. BROWN AND MR. HOWARD HOPPIN.
AUTHORS’ COPY.
PROVIDENCE:
J. A. & R. A. REID, PRINTERS, 24 Custom House Street.
1883.
Address,
ARTHUR L. BROWN, or
HOWARD HOPPIN,
Providence, R. I.
DRAMATIS PERSONÆ.
SYNOPSIS OF SCENERY.
ACT I.
ACT II.
CHEMIST’S LABORATORY:
Back flat.
Large stone arched window in it, R.
Concealed door (_on pivot_) L. centre.
Stone forge and chimney R. front.
Door L.
Sides boxed—stone walls—covered with small shelves—bottles,
skulls, skeletons, etc.
ACT III.
SAME AS ACT I., but with window broken and signs of devastation.
No. 1.
(_Suitors all take hands down stage; go up hand in hand cautiously, and
prepare to ring._ 1ST S. _holding bell._)
No. 2.
(SUITORS _give cards to_ MAIDS. _Exeunt_ SASSY _and_ MAIDS _into house_
C.)
_Interlude._
No. 3.
(_All talk together back_ R. _Music. Enter King with cards, to slow
dance._—KING _comes down_ C., _and sings._)
No. 4.
_King._— Indeed!
(_Aside._) Our daughter seems to be in great demand;
I wonder if they only want her hand.
That’s all that they can get—for I’m so poor
I don’t know where to find my lunch. I’m sure
The man that marries her must furnish gold,
And do it now—at once—they must be told.
(_King holds crown behind him. Suitors all advance, and put in money._)
’Tis our unfailing custom—ever since
The time when we became a Sovereign Prince,
And had a daughter with enough good looks
To ope to me—her suitors’ pocket-books—
(SUITORS _form at back_ L. _Music and bells. Enter_ CARAMELLA _and_ KING,
_dancing_, _hand and hand._)
No. 5.
No. 6.
(_Music._)
_Cara._ (_sarcastically_).—
And is this all? Quite finished? Surely done?
Not overlooked a single charm—not one?
You all excel in something—so you say;
(_Changing tone quickly._)
You don’t excel enough—please go away.
_Suitors._—Alas!
_King._— No!!
Didn’t you hear our daughter tell you so?
How can you _suitors_ be when you don’t—
_Cara._— Hush!
Oh, father, do not say it—please don’t.
_King._— Tush!
It is our duty as a crownèd Prince;
We can’t descend from speaking plain, to hints.
You can’t be suitors.
_King_ (_turning._).—Hey?
Ah! they have gone.
_King._— _Sticky??_
_King (aside)._—
The danger is averted.
(_Aloud to Cara._) Tell me more.
No. 7.
Oh! Sassyfrass,
I want some information here—my lass.
How many pounds of candy, in a day,
Can you and Caramella put away.
_King._— Eat!!
_King._— Yes!
(_Music._)
(_Enter_ SASSY., _followed by_ CHEMISTS, R. _gate._ CHEMISTS _dancing._)
No. 8.
No. 9.
No. 10.
No. 11.
_Sassy._— Oh dear!
I’m done!!
_Cara._ (_frightened_).—
Oh, thank you!
(_To chemists._)
_Prof._—Strange!
_Chem._—Ho! Ho!!
_King._— Oh!
_King._— We see!
_Cara._—Oh, pa!
_Maids._—No, sir!
_Maids._— We won’t!
_King._— What!!
(_Music._ MAIDS _and_ SASSY. _all talk together—then on last note all
scream_—SASSY. _takes up note._)
No. 12.
We’ll send these maids when they have grown less rash.
(_Music._) _Prelude._
No. 13.
(_Starts back—screams._)
Ah, intermittent!—very!
_Prof._— Refrangible—refulgent!
_Cara._— Where am I?
_Prof._— Octagonal—organic!
_King._— Recovered?
No. 14.
No. 15.
No. 16.
ACT II.
No. 1.
_Prof._— Legs?
Mysterious I!
_I_—Paracelsus Finigin—the seer.
Ha! ha! Yes, _I’ll_ be operating here.
_I_—who command, at will, the universe,
Command by word, where others use the purse;
Change universal laws the way I please—
Yea, keep this basket upside down, with ease.
Ha! ha! _with ease_.
(_Turns basket of tin pans all over him—quickly picks them up and looks
around—then speaks low._)
I mean, _without these_.
But now it’s time to mix
The lover’s vital senses—there are six:
The sense of locomotion, touch, and sight,
That’s three—his hearing, voice, and heart—all right.
I’ll take them all in order, one by one,
Then Caramella’s lover will be done.
(_Takes candy from box, and while singing, mixes each in pans. After
second verse_ SASSY. _and_ MAIDS _look in_ L. _door, dressed in poke
bonnets and cloaks._)
No. 2.
(_Short dance._)
(PROF. _speaks._)
_Sassy._— Bosh!!
_Maids._— Please!
_Sassy._ (_aside._)—
Ah! ha! the heart is tender—here’s our chance,
Let’s daze this stupid with a song and dance.
(_Opening arms._)
_Maids._— No dearest!—ugh!!
_All._— Go on!
_All._— This!
_Prof._— Locomotion.
_All._— Well!!
_Sassy._— And if you put that in, you think that thing
Is all that’s necessary to make him sing.
No. 4.
_Sassy._— We will!!
We all have headaches, and feel very ill.
Now, Paracelsus, dear! be good and kind,
You’re such a darling—let us stay behind.
Go, sweetest!
No. 5.
| (_Music._)
_Maids._— Oh!
(_Maids all take off cloaks and bonnets and dress up_ SUITORS _to look
like girls._)
(_All sit and feign to sleep. Enter_ CHEMISTS, PROF., KING, _and_ CARA.,
CHEMISTS _singing._)
No. 6.
(_Music._)
(_All enter and take positions_—KING _turns and sees_ SUITORS _and_
MAIDS.)
(CHEMISTS _all run about and bring properties. Thunder and noises—gas
down and low music._)
(PROF. _ties rope from ice cream freezer to leg of Dummy—low rumbling and
noises—fire and low music._)
No. 7.
No. 8.
No. 9.
(_Turns to_ EBEN., _who, through all has been examining himself and
things about him._)
_Eben._— Well?
_Eben._— I won’t!
_Eben._— No!
_Eben._— Oh pshaw!
_Eben._— Lover?
_Eben._— Rather.
(_Turns, weeping._)
No. 10.
| (_Music._)
|
| _Cara._— Cans’t thou see me sadly crying?
| Hoping still thy heart to move?
|
| _Eben._— I’d rather not!
|
| _Cara._— Cans’t thou still resist the sighing
| Of a heart-imploring love?
|
| _Eben._— I’d rather not!
|
| _Cara._— Think what a beautiful wedding
| We can have, if agreeable you are.
|
| _Eben._— I’d rather not!
|
| _Cara._— Expenses you needn’t be dreading,
| For they will all be borne by pa.
| Ah!
| Flowers, and silk and satin for me;
| Jewelry, wine, tobacco for thee.
| A beautiful house, all shining and new,
| With ebonized chairs and furniture for two.
|
| _Eben._— But notwithstanding that, I’d rather not!
|
| _Cara. & Eben._—
| Ah!
|
| _Cara._— { Flowers, and silk and satin for me.
| _Eben._— { Flowers, and silk and satin for thee,
(CARA. _turns slowly, weeping._ EBEN. _still sits on table and swings his
legs._)
(_Pointing to Prof._)
_King._— Enough!
Cease complimenting!—I am in a huff.
(_Calling._) Hey! chemists!!
_Chemists._— We vow!
_Eben._— Is it good?
No. 11.
No. 12.
(_Pause—comes down._)
(_Low music through following_; EBEN. _walks furiously up and down_; KING
_and_ PROF. _speak low, down_ L.; _while_ CARA. _stands deeply thinking_
R.)
(_Pause, thinking._)
_Prof._—I see the force of your argument, and also observe the satanic
depression of the eye-brows you refer to; but, for the life of me, I
can’t think of anything but Johnny.
No. 13.
No. 14.
(EBEN. _seizes glass retort and chases all out_—PROF. _dodges behind table
and_ EBEN. _chases him around—breaks retort._)
(_Curtain._)
ACT III.
(_Same scene as First Act, but windows all broken and everything
smashed—placard nailed up_: “RECRUITS WANTED!!” “EXPEDITION AGAINST
EBENEZER RILEY.” _Telephone hung by_ L. C. _door._)
No. 1.
| (_Music._)
|
| (_Music gradually gets louder—at each rise of music, a suitor
| yawns and awakes._)
|
| _1st Suitor_ (_awakening, yawns_).— Ah——a!
|
| (_Pause for music._)
|
| _2d Suitor._— Ah——a!
|
| (_Pause._)
|
| _3d Suitor._— Ah——a!
|
| (_Pause._)
|
| _4th Suitor._— Ah——a!
|
| (_Pause._)
|
| _5th Suitor._— Ah——a!
|
| (_Pause._)
|
| _6th Suitor._— Ah——a!
|
| _All (yawning)._—Ah!—Ah!—Ah!—Ah!—
|
| (_Then continue in monotone._)
|
| _All._— Oh! how cold and stiff I am,
| Is it morning yet?
| Can the music of the guitar melt the heart
| Of the daughter of the King?
| No!—the music of the guitar can _not_ melt
| The heart of the daughter of the King.
| We have played all the tunes we know;
| This is the only one we have left,
| And still she is not melted!
No. 2.
_Capt._— ’Tention—all!!
Four’s right by two along that garden wall.
Left wheel, and form a parabolic arch,
And stop right in the centre—forward—march!
No. 3.
(_While_ KING _is singing enter_ CARA. _and_ SASSY. L., _who stand,
listening_ L., _back._)
He weeps! he yields!
(_Kisses_ KING.)
(_Band plays prelude with orchestra, and also accompaniment to song, 6th
S. silent drill._)
No. 4.
(_Pause._)
(_Enter_ PROFESSOR, _slowly, carpet-bag, large comb and brush under his
arm, reading a large book._)
_Prof._— What!
_Cara._— Gone to war
’Gainst Mr. Riley—and I think he means
To split and smash him into smithereens.
_Prof._— Observe—
Guy Fawkes’s hair was parted in a curve,
Dick Turpin’s parting, in a cue was hid,
But probably, ’twas just like Captain Kidd,
Whose hair was parted in a side-long course,
Also the men who kidnapped Charlie Ross;
Jeff Davis, Cettawayo, Robespierre,—
All wicked men, thus parted wore their hair;
You see the point—these wicked men defied
Kind nature’s laws by parting on the side;
George Washington’s was parted, so I’ve read,
Exactly in the middle of the head;
Ben Franklin, Martin Luther, Newton, too,
Mark Twain and Kit Columbus, Richelieu;
Diogenes, Ben Butler, Cicero,
Moody and Sankey, and others you well know.
All these good men, without the barber’s art,
Had hair which curled out from a centre part.
Now, Riley’s hair is frizzled in a bang,
Which places him among the wicked gang.
I found this point within that ancient tome,
And could have cured him with this brush and comb.
Yes, so I see.
Ah! if that dear Professor is in time,
’Twill save my love from danger—pa from crime.
I wonder why my Eben. rages so,
That he to our caress returns a blow.
That mixture was the cause of all this pain,
_Cara._— Sassyfrass!
No. 5.
(_Exit_ C. _door._)
(_Stands waiting._)
(_Pounds on tin drum ad lib. with gun—knocks it about until in front of_
Cara.—_sees her, and stops suddenly._)
(_Pause._)
(_Pause._)
My love!
(_Springs at_ CARA., _seizes her and begins to squeeze her in anger—likes
it and changes manner._)
_Cara._— And have you troubles? Share them, dear, with me.
_Eben._— How?
We marry?—well, I rather like it now;
Yes!—that’s a fine idea.
(_Pointing_ L.)
No. 7.
| (_Music._)
|
| (EBEN. _sings._)
|
| _Eben._— A tender fragrance fills the air,
| The flowers bloom when thou art near;
| Rivulets stop to listen
| When thy sweet voice they hear.
| Rushing away with passion torn,
| Never at peace when thou art gone.
| But thou art here,
| Ah!—my dear.
| Never shall we parted be,
| Never a clouded sky;
| Never a shadow fall to thee,
| Never a troubled sigh!
|
| (_Interlude._)
|
| _2d Verse._
|
| _Eben._— To thee—cold fate no ill can bring,
| The rose—no thorn, the bee—no sting,
| Melody fills all nature,
| Hoping to hear thee sing;
| Clashing aloud in accents mad,
| Weeping again when thou art sad;
| But thou art glad,
| Ah!—my dear!
| Never shall we parted be,
| Never a clouded sky,
| Never a shadow fall to thee,
| Never a troubled sigh.
_Cara._— Oh—come!
Come down and see us—we are waiting.
_Cara._— Oh!—Ebenezer!!
_King._— Silence!!
_King._— No!
Just take him to the dungeon—let me see,
The darkest and most dirty—forty-three—
In forty-three secure him to the floor
With irons—pound and kick him ’till he’s raw;
Scrape him with files—put him upon the rack—
Let’s see—what else—Oh—cauterize his back.
That’s all I think——
_Cara._— Oh Father—Father!
(_Enter Capt._)
_Capt._— Who—Riley?
No. 8.
(_Music._)
[Illustration]
No. 9.
| (_Music._)
|
| _King._— This is a very unpleasant situation,
| But we must proceed without further hesitation.
| This _is as_ good a way as I knows—
|
| (_Pointing to scissors._)
|
| To dispose of my foes!
|
| (EXECUTIONER _comes down with scissors._)
|
| _All._— This _is as_ good a way—
| This _is as_ good a way as he knows
| To dispose of his foes.
|
| (_Interlude._)
|
| _Maids._— Oh! he’s going to have his head cut off—
| Oh! how horrid he will look!
|
| _All._— Shish! shish! shish! shish!
| Never more—no, never, can he have his
| Picture took. Never more—no, never, can he have his
| Picture took.
|
| (EXECUTIONER _prepares to cut_ EBEN.’S _head off with scissors._)
|
| _King._— Proceed!—why do you hesitate?
|
| _Maids._— Oh! he’s going to begin!
| Oh! I wish we had the money back we
| Paid for our tickets.
|
| _Suitors._— Just look at him—
|
| _All._— He’s going for to cut his head off!
| He’s going for to cut his head off!!
| He’s going for to cut his head off!!!
|
| (_All hold last note._)
|
| (PROF. _heard outside.—all wait expectant holding note—enter_ PROF.
| _hurriedly—jumps over wall—runs to centre—Tableau._)
No. 10.
| _Prof._— Hold!
|
| (_Fast._) Never was a time when so fast I’ve had to travel,
| Jumping over ditches and tremendous heaps of gravel,
| Back yards, pits, and innumerable brick kilns,
| Coal bins, ash heaps, otherwise impregnable;
| Mud, dirt, wet and objectionable odors,
| Chemically mixed of asafœtida and sodas,
| Hedges, holes, apparently impossible,
| Striving to stop this horrible slaughter.
|
| (_Opens book—pointing to it significantly._)
|
| (_Slowly._) _Omnes boni_—all good men.
| _In medio_—in the middle of the head.
| _Capitam_—all the hair.
| _Dividunt_—they divide.
| Part their hair in the middle of the head—so—
| (_Fast._) Putting this important observation into practice,
| The interesting and absorbing scientific fact is,
| If a person is too excitable,
| Send for a brush and comb.
|
| (_Recit._) Just observe the demonstration of this point.
|
| (_Turns to_ EBEN.—_takes out comb and brush and begins to part his
| hair in the middle while singing._)
|
| _Eben._— Away—away—away! I tell you stand away!!
|
| _Prof._— Now, Ebenezer, please be still.
|
| _All._— Please be still—please be still.
|
| _Prof._— And with this comb I’ll cure your ill.
|
| _All._— Riley, please be still.
|
| _King._— It’s pleasant, if you knew it.
|
| _All._— Please be still—please be still.
|
| _Eben._— I’d like to see you do it.
|
| _All._— Riley, please be still.
| Riley, please be still.
| Riley, please be still.
|
| (PROF. _gives finishing touches to_ EBEN.’S _hair—unbinds him_—EBEN.
| _gets up—rubs his eyes—then goes around shaking hands while others
| are singing._)
|
| _Prof._— Success!
|
| _P._, _C._, _S._ & _K._— Success!
|
| _All._— Success!
|
| _Prof._— Oh! I am a great astrologer—
|
| _All._— A regular sockdologer.
|
| _Prof._— A graduated colleger,
| My name is Finigin,
| I get my knowledge from the stars,
| From pickled snakes put up in jars,
| From dead men’s wired vertebras,
| From skulls of apes and men.
|
| _All._— He is a great ass—
|
| (PROF. _turns and scowls._)
|
| ——trologer,
| He is a great ass—trologer,
| He is a great ass—trologer.
|
| _Eben._ (_pointing to Prof._)—
| By virtue of his magic art,
| In giving my hair a central part,
| We’ve quenched this fiery Cinnamon Heart.
| And caused my madness to depart.
|
| (CARA. _joins_ EBEN.—_both take hands—come down on 1st line—back on
| 2d._)
|
| _Eben. &_ { Our troubles all are through,
| _Cara._— { Now I can marry you.
|
| (_Go back_—KING _comes down in same way._)
|
| _Eben. &_ { Though I am black and blue,
| _King._— { I’ll mix the wedding brew.
|
| (_Goes back_—Sassy. _and_ Prof. _come forward in same way._)
|
| _Sassy. &_ { There’s nothing more to do,
| _Prof._— { We can be married too.
|
| (_Go back_—K., C., E., S. & P. _take hands and come down in same way._)
|
| { An invitation true
| { We now present to you.
|
| (_To audience._)
|
| (_All take hands—come down on 1st line, back on 2nd—all singing._)
|
| _All._— Hi yar—Hi yar—we’ll all be married too—Hi yar,
| Hi yar—Hi yar—an invitation true—Hi yar!
| Hi yar—Hi yar—we now extend to you—Hi yar!
| Hi yar—Hi yar—we’ll all be married too—Hi yar!
|
| (_Repeat faster._)
CURTAIN.
*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE CINNAMON HEART ***
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