2021 11 04 - Task 1 Soal 07

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THE 2nd MONTH

IELTS WRITING FEEDBACK
INTRODUCTION SENTENCE
Laura Oei:
The pie graph depicts the major reasons why the land use for agriculture activity became less
effective, while the table illustrates how these problems affected North America, Europe, and
Oceania in the 1990s.
Suciani Rahma Pertiwi:

The pie graph depicts the essential causes of horticultural ground becomes less
effectiveness, while the table illustrates three zones of the worldwide influenced by these
causes in 1990s.
Muhammad Alfaridzi Syafda:

The two diagrams illustrate the percentage of causes land degradation in the three regions
and around the world in 1990.
Diny Nur Fajrina:

The diagram depicts the four main motives about farmland becomes unproductive, while the
table portrays the total percentages of three countries affected due to the land deterioration in
1990.
Introduction Sentence:
The pie graph depicts the percentage of the global soil deterioration, while the
table compares how three different world regions were affected by these causes in
1990s.
Introduction Sentence:
S + V + O [Noun Phrase], + Conj. + S + V + O [Noun Clause].
1
All IELTS materials written on this paper belong to the Leiden Institute.
THE 2nd MONTH

OVERVIEW SENTENCE
Laura Oei:
Overall, over-grazing was observed as the most significant land degradation’s contributor, while
over-cultivation contributed least. Meanwhile, Europe was responsible for the highest country
with degraded land, whereas North America was reported as the lowest region with land
degradation.
Overview Sentence:
Overall, S + be + V3 + Adv., + Conj. + S + V + Adv.
Meanwhile, S + be + Comp. + Adv., + Conj. + S + be + V3. + Adv.

Overall, there are four causes of worldwide land degradation. Meanwhile, Europe was
responsible for highest of almost all causes except over-grazing , whereas North America
was observed as the lowest for almost all causes except over-cultivation.

Overall, there were three main reasons for soil subsidence, among which over-grazing ranked
first in the pie chart. Meanwhile, the most significant percentage in the table with the same
causes was given to Europe.
Dini Nur Fajrina:

Overall, it is apparent in the pie chart that over-grazing is the most significant cause for land
degradation which accounted for 35%. On the other hand, deforestation which widespread
clearing of trees was responsible for the second highest at exactly 30%. Followed by over-
cultivation and other factors were at 28% and 7% respectively.
Overview Sentence:
Overall, overgrazing was responsible for the highest contributor to soil
degradation, followed by deforestation. Besides, the most affected continent was
attributed to Europe, whereas North America contributed least.
Overview Sentence:
Overall, S + be + Comp. + Adv.
Besides, S + be + V3 + Adv., + Conj. + S + V + Adv.
2
THE 2nd MONTH

Example
The pie graph depicts the percentage of the global soil deterioration, while the table
compares how three different world regions were affected by these causes in 1990s.
Overall, overgrazing was responsible for the highest contributor to soil degradation,
followed by deforestation. Besides, the most affected continent was attributed to Europe,
whereas North America contributed least.
3
THE 2nd MONTH

BODY PARAGRAPHS
Laura Oei:
According to the chart, the highest figure, 35%, was attributed to over-grazing, and it was
followed by deforestation, which contributed 5% less. However, the proportion of over-
cultivation was reported as the second lowest figure with 28%, with only 2% differences with the
former. Nonetheless, the figure for Other was 5 times less than over-graving (7%).
On the other hand, North America had the lowest land degradation with only 5% of their land
degraded and most of it was caused by over-cultivation (3.3%). Furthermore, Oceania had
13% of their land experiencing degradation because of over-grazing (11.3%) and deforestation
(1.7%). Moreover, the most significantly affected country was attributed to Europe, which had
nearly 25% of their land degraded.

According to the graph, over-grazing hold the largest percentage of causes by 35%, followed
by deforestation of 5% less than over-grazing. Besides, the share of over-cultivation was four
times as high as that of other (respectively 28% and 7%). Additionally, the proportion of other
was also ranked last of all causes.
On the other hand, Europe led in three causes such as deforestation, over-cultivation, and
total land degraded (9.8, 7.7, and 23%, respectively) except for over-grazing by 5.5.
Furthermore, Oceania took over the largest figure for over-grazing at 11.3, followed by
deforestation, total land degraded, and over-cultivation (consecutively 1.7, 13%, and 0). At the
same time, North America contributed the lowest figures in three causes such as deforestation
by 0.2, over-grazing by 1.5 and 5% of total land degraded except for over-cultivation at 3.3.

Regarding the pie chart, the most remarkable cause of whole world land degradation in 1990
was presented to over-grazing which was 35%. The second highest causing was deforestation
which 30%. While, over-cultivation was responsible for the lowest share, by exactly 28%.
On the other hand, Europe was represented as the most excessive proportion of land
degradation in 1990 which 23% in total, where deforestation was the biggest which was 9.8,
followed by over-cultivation (7.7), and over-grazing was the fewest measure, by accurately 5.5.
The second rank was Oceania which was 13% of three causes, among them are 1.7
deforestations, 11.3 over-grazing, and interestingly, over-cultivation was nought. Besides,
North Americans were the most understanding the causes of land degradation, which was only
5% contribution, but however, they had been donated causes of climate change, namely 0.2
deforestations, 3.3 over-cultivation, and 1.5 over-grazing.
4
THE 2nd MONTH

Diny Nur Fajrina:

The table represents out of three regions, Europe was marginally the largest which nearly a
quarter (23%) of its land affected of degeneration causes by over-cultivation which responsible
the highest factor (3.3%). Furthermore, Over-grazing (11.3%) became the largest cause of
Oceania degradation land which the total amount accounted by 13%. Meanwhile, only a tiny
fraction (5%) of North America land became less productive where it mainly causes by over-
cultivation (3.3%).
Onemayra:
According the given pie chart and table we can see that the pie chart shows the
causes of worldwide degradation, and the reason of land degradation is mainly caused
by over-grazing of animals or cattle with 35% rate. The second main reason is by
deforestation with 30% rate, the following causes is over-cultivation of crops, and the
percentage of 7% is caused by other issues. The grass that covered soil is depleted,
these can lead to soil erosion, overstocking, land degradation, and the most concerning
one is global warming.
For the next data is the causes of land degradation by region which consist of
three regions, it is North America, Europe, and Oceania or a large group of islands in
South Pacific including Australia and New Zealand. Percentage land degraded in North
America is 0,2% by deforestation, 3,3% by over-cultivation, 1,5% by over-grazing, and the
total of land degraded is 5%. In Europe land degraded 9,8% by deforestation, 7,7% by
over-cultivation, 5,5% over-grazing, with the total of land degraded is 23%. Whereas
Oceania’s land degraded 1,7% is by deforestation, 0% by over-cultivation, and 11,3% by
over-grazing. Their total land degraded is 13%. So we can conclude that Europe has the
biggest contribution in land degradation by region during the 1900s.
5

2021 11 04 - Task 1 Soal 07

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Leiden Institute | Your Global Education Partner

Dipatiukur Street, Lebakgede, Coblong, Bandung, West Java, Indonesia

THE 2nd MONTH

Suciani Rahma Pertiwi:

Muhammad Alfaridzi Syafda:

Diny Nur Fajrina:

THE 2nd MONTH

Suciani Rahma Pertiwi:

Muhammad Alfaridzi Syafda:

Dini Nur Fajrina:

THE 2nd MONTH

THE 2nd MONTH

Suciani Rahma Pertiwi:

Muhammad Alfaridzi Syafda:

THE 2nd MONTH

Diny Nur Fajrina:

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