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THE 2nd MONTH

IELTS WRITING FEEDBACK

Muhammad Alfaridzi Syafda (192 Words):

The two diagrams illustrate the percentage of land degradation causes in three regions and
worldwide in 1990.

Overall, there were three main reasons for soil subsidence, among which over-grazing ranked
first in the pie chart. Meanwhile, the most significant percentage in the table with the same
causes was given to Europe.

Regarding the pie chart, the most remarkable cause of whole world land degradation in 1990
was presented to over-grazing which was 35%. The second highest causing was deforestation
which 30%. While, over-cultivation was responsible for the lowest share, by exactly 28%.

On the other hand, Europe was represented as the most excessive proportion of land
degradation in 1990 which 23% in total, where deforestation was the biggest which was 9.8,
followed by over-cultivation (7.7), and over-grazing was the fewest measure, by accurately 5.5.
The second rank was Oceania which was 13% of three causes, among them are 1.7
deforestations, 11.3 over-grazing, and interestingly, over-cultivation was nought. Besides, North
Americans were the most understanding the causes of land degradation, which was only 5%
contribution, but however, they had been donated causes of climate change, namely 0.2
deforestations, 3.3 over-cultivation, and 1.5 over-grazing.

Onemayra Zafira Nurasnita (209 Words):

The given statistic graph shows the consumption of fish and several kinds of meat in a
European country between 1979 and 2004.

Overall, from 1979 to 2004, the consumption of fish in this country way more steady with
amount of 50 grams per week in average. Eventually, the consumption of chicken had risen
year by year to be the most eaten meat despite the decreased beef and lamb in the year of
2004.

We can see that the consumption of chicken in 1979 was 150 grams, and it's increased steadily
till 1999. But after 1999, it had rose significantly and reached 250 grams per week in 2004.
Unlike fish, it remained steady throughout the period, it had been unpopular meat to eat during
that day.

On the other hand, the most eaten meat by year 1979 was beef, it is around 220 grams per
week. Unfortunately it had decreased by the year after, about 170 grams per week. But then it
rose and reached peak around 240 grams per week in 1984, then it fell to 100 grams per week
in 2004. In the consumption of lambs meat, it had a similarity, it decreased throughout the
period from 150 grams per week to 70 grams per week in 2004.

1
All IELTS materials written on this paper belong to the Leiden Institute.
 Leiden Institute | Your Global Education Partner
Dipatiukur Street, Lebakgede, Coblong, Bandung, West Java, Indonesia
Website: www.leideninstitute.org | Facebook: Leiden Institute| Instagram: @leideninstitute
Phone: (022) 20465172 | WhatsApp: +6285714422408 | Email: leideninstitute@gmail.com

THE 2nd MONTH

IELTS WRITING FEEDBACK

Laura Oei (148 Words):

The line chart depicts the consumption of fish, lamb, beef, and chicken in European countries
from 1979 to 2004. The units are measured in grams.

Overall, there was a downward trend in all of the meat categories, except for chicken, which
rose gradually. Meanwhile, the figure for chicken was responsible for the highest, whereas
chicken ranked last.

Initially, the figure for beef stood at roughly 220 and it declined nearly 100 after experiencing a
slight fluctuation in the first period. Nonetheless, in the first year, the figure for chicken and lamb
intersected at approximately 150. However, the proportion of lamb declined gradually over the
period given, from 150 to 50.

Additionally, the figure for chicken intersected with beef in 1989. Nevertheless, the proportion of
chicken reached a peak of roughly 250 in 2004 (250). Furthermore, the figure for fish started at
53 and slightly decreased to reach 50.

Abdul Aziz (150 Words):

The line chart indicates the use of chicken, beef, lamb, and fish as a protein in Europe country
from 1979 to 2004. Beef was the favorite protein at the first, while fish is the most unpopular to
consume.

According to the chart, there was a significant increasing in chicken consumption by more than
a hundred grams in 35 years. Meanwhile, fish was the only one that can remain stable from the
beginning, it seems like decreasing a little bit but it can maintain their consumption on the same
level from 1979 to 2004.

Moreover, from 1979 to 2004, beef have a downgrade on their use as the protein, it is
significantly decreased from more than 200 grams at the first to only a hundred at the end.
While lamb was experiencing the same occurrence by losing their use as the protein by slightly
close to a hundred in these years.

2
All IELTS materials written on this paper belong to the Leiden Institute.
 Leiden Institute | Your Global Education Partner
Dipatiukur Street, Lebakgede, Coblong, Bandung, West Java, Indonesia
Website: www.leideninstitute.org | Facebook: Leiden Institute| Instagram: @leideninstitute
Phone: (022) 20465172 | WhatsApp: +6285714422408 | Email: leideninstitute@gmail.com

THE 2nd MONTH

IELTS WRITING FEEDBACK

Diny Nur Fajrina (159 Words):

The line chart depicts the amount of fish and three different meats which consumed by each
person in European country from 1979 to 2004. Overall, there were a downward trend in beef
and lamb consumption, except for chicken, which increase gradually over the period.
Meanwhile, the fish consumption responsible for the static trend during the period.

In 1979, beef occupied the highest consumption per person accounted by around 210 grams. In
contrast in the same year, fish consumption ranked last which is roughly 55 grams each person.
Furthermore, chicken and lamb remain roughly the same about 150 grams in the first year of
period.

On the other hand, the number of chicken consumption per capita reached a peak in 2004 to
259 grams. As for beef and lamb consumption dropped steadily and the number was almost
doubled during 25 years. As a result, fish still placed the least amount of consumption per
person where about 49 grams a week.

Selvarani Mahasti Kayla (182 Words):

The graph delineates the comparison of weekly consumption of chicken, fish, beef and lamb per
capita in European countries from 1979 to 2004.

In 1979, the amount of beef consumption was the highest, with more than 200 per person in a
week. Whereas the amount of chicken and lamb were almost at the same number with the
number between 150 and less. However the amount of fish consumed was the lowest with the
number above 50.

In the last year, which is in 2004, the amount of chicken consumption became the highest at
about 250 per person in a week. While the amount of beef and lamb consumption has
decreased to below 150 and 100 per person in a week. Additionally, the amount of fish
consumption was almost the same as in 1979.

Overall, the amount of beef and lamb consumed by European people tends to decrease over
the period shown. Furthermore, European people tended to consume more chicken because
the amount of chicken consumed tends to increase. Nonetheless, the number of Europeans
consuming fish is more constant than in other foods.

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All IELTS materials written on this paper belong to the Leiden Institute.