The Psychology

of Interpersonal Relationships

Ellen Berscheid
Department of Psychology
University of Minnesota

Pamela Regan
Department of Psychology
California State University, Los Angeles
First published 2005 by Pearson Education, Inc.

Published 2016 by Routledge

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ISBN: 9780131836129 (pbk)

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Berscheid, Ellen.
The psychology of interpersonal relationships / Ellen Berscheid, Pamela Regan.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 0-13-183612-9 (alk. paper)
1. Interpersonal relations. I. Regan, Pamela C. II. Title

HM1106.B47 2005
302—dc22 2003060180
 Brief Contents

Preface xiii

Part 1 Relationships: The Web of Life 1

Chapter 1 First Relationships 1
Chapter 2 Relationships and Health 31

Part 2 Relationship Science 63

Chapter 3 The Development of Relationship Science 63
Chapter 4 The Concept of Relationship 95
Chapter 5 Varieties of Relationship 131

Part 3 Relationship Initiation and Development 159

Chapter 6 Birth of a Relationship 159
Chapter 7 Relationship Growth and Maintenance 191

Part 4 Relationship Processes 225

Chapter 8 Cognitive Processes 225
Chapter 9 Affective Processes 259
Chapter 10 Dispositional Influences 293

Part 5 Mating Relationships 322

Chapter 11 Love 322
Chapter 12 Mate Selection and Sex 353

Part 6 Relationships Over Time 391

Chapter 13 Satisfaction and Stability 391
Chapter 14 Intervention and Dissolution 425

iii
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 Table of Contents

Preface xiii

Part 1 Relationships: The Web of Life 1

Chapter 1 FIRST RELATIONSHIPS 1
Introduction 1
The Human Infant’s Social Inheritance 3
The Evolutionary Perspective 3
The Need to Belong 5
The Human Infant’s Biological Inheritances Facilitative
of Social Interaction 6
The Attachment Behavioral System 6
Other Innate Social Response Systems 16
Social Interaction and Brain Development 24
Nature vs. Nurture: A False Dichotomy 25
The Infant’s Contributions to Relationship Initiation and Maintenance 27
Implications for Society 28
Summary 30

Chapter 2 RELATIONSHIPS AND HEALTH 31

Introduction 31
Relationships and Mortality 33
Social Networks 36
Social Support 37
The Concept of Social Support 38
Social Support and Stress 45
Adverse Effects of Relationships on Health 52
Physical Aggression and Violence 52
Psychological Aggression 54
Bereavement 56
Relationships and Happiness 58
Loneliness 59
Summary 62

v
Part 2 Relationship Science 63
Chapter 3 THE DEVELOPMENT OF RELATIONSHIP SCIENCE 63
Introduction 63
Obstacles to the Study of Relationships 64
Societal Taboos 64
Ethical Considerations 67
Methodological and Analytical Challenges 68
The Multidisciplinary Nature of Relationship Science 84
Disciplines Contributing to Relationship Science 86
Psychology 87
Marital and Family Therapy 89
Communication Studies 90
Sociology 90
Anthropology 91
Economics 91
Cultural Differences in Relationships 92
Summary 94

Chapter 4 THE CONCEPT OF RELATIONSHIP 95

Introduction 95
Interaction: The Essence of a Relationship 96
Amount and Kind of Interaction 96
Lack of Interaction 98
Multiple Views of a Current Relationship 101
Symmetry of Influence 101
The Observational Base of Relationship Science 103
Establishing Interdependence 104
Interaction Patterns 111
The Aim of Relationship Science: Identifying Causal Conditions 113
Sources of Interaction Data 114
Self-Reports 115
Observation 116
Archives and Other Public Records 118
General Theories of Social Interaction 119
Social Learning Theory 119
Homans’s Social Exchange Theory 121
Equity Theories 123
Interdependence Theory 124
Summary 129

vi TABLE OF CONTENTS
Chapter 5 VARIETIES OF RELATIONSHIP 131
Introduction 131
Family Relationships 131
Changes in the American Family 133
Close Relationships 140
Conceptualizations of Closeness 140
Comparisons of Closeness Measures 143
Intimate Relationships 146
Responsivity 147
Other Common Relationship Descriptors 148
Compatible Relationships 148
Healthy Relationships 149
Dimensions Underlying Relationships 150
Relationship Taxonomies 151
Neglected Types of Close Relationship 153
Friend Relationships 153
Relationships with Nonhumans 154
Summary 158

Part 3 Relationship Initiation and Development 159

Chapter 6 BIRTH OF A RELATIONSHIP 159
Introduction 159
Voluntary and Involuntary Interaction: Closed vs. Open Interaction Fields 159
The Beginning: Attention to Another Person 162
Selective Attention 162
Attention and Attraction 166
Affiliation 169
Voluntary Affiliation and Attraction 169
Other Determinants of Voluntary Affiliation 170
Attraction in First Encounters 175
The Attraction Construct 176
Learning Theory Approaches to Attraction 177
General Principles of Attraction 177
Summary 190

Chapter 7 RELATIONSHIP GROWTH AND MAINTENANCE 191

Introduction 191
Causal Conditions Affecting Relationship Development and Stability 192

TABLE OF CONTENTS vii

 General Theories of Relationship Development 193
The Fundamental Assumption 193
Interdependence Theory 193
The Intersection Model 195
The Cohesiveness Model 196
Romantic Relationship Development 197
Romantic Relationship Development: Theory 197
Romantic Relationship Progression: Research 200
Friendship Development 203
Processes Associated with Relationship Development and Maintenance 206
Self-Disclosure: Altman and Taylor’s Social Penetration Theory 206
Trust 208
Commitment 210
Conflict 219
Environmental Factors Influencing Relationship Growth
and Maintenance 220
Social Environmental Factors 221
Physical Environmental Factors 222
Reasons for the Neglect of Environmental Factors 223
Summary 224

Part 4 Relationship Processes 225

Chapter 8 COGNITIVE PROCESSES 225
Introduction 225
Knowing Another Person 225
Expectancies 226
Consciousness and the Mind’s Activities 228
Social Cognitive Psychology 228
Processing Social Information 230
Automatic/Associative Information Processing 230
The Associative Memory System and Regularities in the Social
Environment 231
Controlled/Rule-Based Information Processing 234
First Impressions 236
Social Categorization 236
Principles of Social Categorization 239
New Models of Cognition 243
Relationship Schemas 244
Interaction Scripts 246

viii TABLE OF CONTENTS

 Memory for Relationship Events 248
Account Narratives 250
Major Theories of Social Cognition: Implications for Relationship
Phenomena 251
Theories of Cognitive Consistency 252
The Attribution Theories 255
Summary 258

Chapter 9 AFFECTIVE PROCESSES 259

Introduction 259
The Social Context of Human Emotion 259
Facial Expressions of Emotion 261
The Universality of Emotional Expression Hypothesis 262
Theories of Basic Emotions 265
Observing Emotion in Social Interaction 266
The Social Interactional View of Facial Expression 267
Physiological Arousal and Emotion 268
The James–Lange Theory 268
Schachter’s Two-Component Theory 269
Physiological Arousal in Social Interaction 275
Cognition and Emotion 276
The Concept of Emotion 278
Affect 279
Preferences 283
Mood 284
Cognitive Theories of Emotion 286
Summary 291

Chapter 10 DISPOSITIONAL INFLUENCES 293

Introduction 293
Maleness and Femaleness 294
Biological Sex 294
Theoretical Explanations for Sex Differences 298
Psychological Gender or Sex-Role Orientation 301
Personality 302
Supertraits 302
Personal Motives 306
Self-Monitoring 310
Locus of Control 311
Sociosexual Orientation 312

TABLE OF CONTENTS ix
 Dispositional Affect 313
Interpersonal Belief Systems 315
Adult Attachment Style 316
Rejection Sensitivity 319
Summary 321

Part 5 Mating Relationships 322

Chapter 11 LOVE 322
Introduction 322
Taxonomies of Love 323
Psychometric Approaches to Love 326
Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love 326
Lee’s Colors of Love Taxonomy 328
The Measurement of Love 329
The Prototype Approach to Love 330
Passionate (Romantic) Love 333
Early Theoretical Discourse on Passionate Love 333
Social Psychological Theories of Passionate Love 337
The Measurement of Passionate Love 339
Research on the Nature of Passionate Love 339
The Biochemistry of Passion 342
Companionate Love 346
The Biochemistry of Affection 347
Problematic Aspects of Love 348
Unrequited Passionate Love 348
Obsession 349
Mismatched Love Styles 351
Summary 352

Chapter 12 MATE SELECTION AND SEX 353

Introduction 353
Theoretical Approaches to Mating Relationships 354
Social Context Theories 354
Evolutionary Theories 355
Mate Preferences 357
Self-Perception and Compromise 361
Mate Attraction and Courtship 362
Communicating Romantic Attraction in Initial Encounters 363
The First Date 364
Beyond the First Date 364

x TABLE OF CONTENTS
 Mate Selection 365
Monogamy 367
Divorce 368
Relational Sex 369
Sexual Attitudes 370
Beliefs About the Role of Sex in Dating Relationships 370
Beliefs About the Role of Sex In Marital Relationships 372
Sexual Attraction 373
Sex Appeal 374
Sexual History 375
Sexuality in Beginning Relationships 376
The First Sexual Encounter 376
Sexual Influence 378
Sexuality in Established Relationships 378
Sexual Frequency and Its Decline Over Time 378
Sexual Satisfaction 380
Sexual Communication 381
Problematic Aspects of Relational Sex 382
Sexual Disinterest 382
Sexual Aggression 383
Sexual Infidelity 384
Sexual Jealousy 387
Summary 390

Part 6 Relationships Over Time 391

Chapter 13 SATISFACTION AND STABILITY 391
Introduction 391
Measuring Relationship Satisfaction and Stability 392
Marital Stability 393
Marital Satisfaction 393
Problems in Identifying Determinants of Satisfaction 395
Marital Satisfaction Over Time 398
Cross-Sectional Studies of Satisfaction 399
Longitudinal Studies of Satisfaction and Stability 399
Factors Associated with Satisfaction 404
Person Conditions 404
Environmental Conditions 408
Relational Characteristics 415

TABLE OF CONTENTS xi
 The Contribution of Satisfaction to Stability 422
Dissatisfied Stable Marriages 423
Summary 424

Chapter 14 INTERVENTION AND DISSOLUTION 425

Introduction 425
Happy and Unhappy Marriages 426
Happy Marriages 427
Unhappy Marriages 428
The Clinical Research Approach to Distressed Relationships 430
Growth of the Field of Relationship Therapy 430
The Research Paradigm 432
Communication Patterns of Distressed Couples 434
Limitations of the Observational Research Paradigm 438
Therapeutic Interventions for Distressed Relationships 440
Contraindications for Therapy 440
Therapeutic Approaches 441
Intervention Effectiveness 445
Preventive Intervention 447
Paths to Divorce and Separation 448
Bereavement 450
Summary 454

Glossary 455

References 471

Credits 531

Index 533

Name Index 545

xii TABLE OF CONTENTS

 Preface
Just a little over two decades ago, at a conference
addressed to interpersonal relationship phe-
nomena, our host related to some of us that he
had submitted a course proposal to the dean of
his college suggesting that the psychology de-
partment offer a relationships course. His pro-
posal was summarily rejected. At that time, his
dean was not the only one who viewed the study
of interpersonal relationships as fragmented em-
pirically, immature conceptually, uncohesive the-
oretically, and lacking in the methodological rigor
that characterized established lines of inquiry.
Many, both inside and outside of psychology, be-
lieved the relationship field to have the poten-
tial to yield only an inchoate collection of
“interesting” findings and “how to” advice to
college students about their romantic relation-
ships. Even within social psychology, the study
of interpersonal relationships was regarded as
teetering dangerously on the brink of the outer
edge of “soft psychology.”
Today, no major research university can af-
ford not to have a relationship course in its psy-
chology curriculum. Scholars in virtually all of
the traditional areas of psychological inquiry
have come to recognize that human behavior
and development take place in the context of re-
lationships with other people, and thus, in order
to accomplish psychology’s aim of understand-
ing and predicting human behavior, it is neces-
sary to incorporate the relationship context into
psychological theory and research. “Contextu-
alism” is in ascendance in psychology, and no
context is more omnipresent and omnipotent
than the relationships in which people are em-
bedded from the time they are born to the time
they die. The growing recognition of the critical
role that relationships play in human behavior
and development is partly due to the fact that
the relationship field has confronted and suc-
cessfully overcome many of its conceptual and
methodological obstacles and currently is draw-
ing on and contributing to virtually all areas of
psychology—including clinical, counseling, ed-
ucational, industrial and organizational, devel-
opmental, and social and personality psychology,
as well as behavior genetics, cognitive and af-
fective neuroscience, and psychoimmunology,
to name just a few.
As a consequence, increasing numbers of
upper-division undergraduate and graduate stu-
dents in psychology and many of the other social,
behavioral, biological, and health sciences are
seeking a brief but comprehensive introduction
to the field that will inform their own specialized
pursuits within psychology and other disciplines.
This textbook is intended to provide an inte-
grated and organized foundation for such stu-
dents. It emphasizes the relationship field’s
intellectual themes, roots, and milestones; dis-
cusses its key constructs and their conceptual-
izations; describes its methodologies and classic
studies; and, most important, presents the theo-
ries that have guided relationship scholars and
produced the field’s major research themes. This
text is intended to reflect the fact that relation-
ship science has proved to be an intellectually
cohesive and cumulative endeavor, one with vast
potential to advance progress in most areas of
psychological inquiry as well as many other
disciplines.
Although relationship science is multidisci-
plinary, this text is titled The Psychology of Inter-
personal Relationships for a number of reasons:
Psychology has been and continues to be a major
contributor to the field; psychology is likely to be
the major beneficiary of the advancement of re-
lationship science; the authors are psychologists;
and, finally, most relationship courses at present
are taught within academic departments of
xiii
psychology. It is not difficult to foresee that there ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
will someday be departments of relationship sci-
ence that will bring together scholars from all the A number of people contributed to this endeav-
contributing disciplines, but such developments or. In particular, we thank Melissa Waltman (Uni-
must await a loosening of the financial constraints versity of Minnesota) for her time and careful
that currently afflict higher education. As a mul- attention to detail. We also thank our reviewers,
tidisciplinary field, relationship science covers who generously contributed their expertise:
vast terrain and presents a challenge to instructors Daniel J. Canary, Ph.D.
who generally are themselves interested in only Professor
certain subsets of relationship phenomena. By Arizone State University
providing the student with a broad and compre- Margie Geasler, Ph.D.
hensive foundation in relationship science in the Professor Emerita
course text, we hoped to free instructors (includ- Western Michigan University
ing ourselves) from the necessity of presenting
Jenny Gutbezahl, Ph.D.
this foundation in lecture or through supple-
Professor
mentary readings, thereby affording them the op-
Harvard University Extension School
portunity to emphasize their own disciplines.
Finally, we should note that although this text Benjamin R. Karney, Ph.D.
assumes that the reader has had an introducto- Associate Professor
ry course in psychology, it does not assume a University of Florida
strong background. Many students currently Edgar C. O’Neal, Ph.D.
earning degrees in other disciplines have taken Professor
only an introductory psychology course (some- Tulane University
times in the distant past). Students in relation- Phillip R. Shaver, Ph.D.
ship courses are, we have discovered, nothing if Professor, Department Chair
not eclectic. It is not unusual to have students University of California at Davis
from psychology and sociology alongside those
Jeff Simpson, Ph.D.
from business, nursing, pharmacy, mortuary sci-
Professor
ence, theater, family practice, social work, and
Texas A & M University
anthropology. We have tried to make relation-
ship science accessible to interested and moti- Ann L. Weber, Ph.D.
vated students in these disciplines as well as to Professor of Psychology
upper-division undergraduates and graduate University of North Carolina at Asheville
students in psychology.

xiv PREFACE
PART 1
RELATIONSHIPS: THE WEB OF LIFE

Chapter 1 First Relationships

INTRODUCTION and the shape of our eyes, our mental capabilities
and our physical infirmities, as well as a host of
In the afterword to his play Angels in America, other attributes known to be strongly genetical-
Tony Kushner (1993) wrote: “The smallest indi- ly determined, reflect the mate selection princi-
visible human unit is two people, not one. . . . ples discussed in Chapter 12, “Mate Selection
From such nets of souls societies, the social world, and Sex.” Charles Darwin (Figure 1.1) was the
human life springs” (p. 307). Quite literally, first to urge scientists to identify the laws that
human life springs from human relationships.
Modern reproductive technology not with-
standing, most of us were conceived the old-fash-
ioned way. Thus, all of us owe our very existence
to a relationship that once existed between a man
and a woman. The sexual mating relationship
has been written and sung about more than any
other because it often is accompanied by love,
frequently of the “romantic” variety, which has
captivated philosophers, poets, novelists, and
other artists for centuries—perhaps even
throughout human history, some anthropologists
(Jankowiak & Fischer, 1992) and psychologists
now maintain (Hatfield & Rapson, 1987). This
topic is discussed in Chapter 11, “Love.”
From the perspective of relationship science,
each of us represents a specific manifestation of
the laws of mate selection. The color of our hair FIGURE 1.1 Charles Darwin.

1
govern mate selection. In The Origin of Species by
Means of Natural Selection: The Descent of Man, and
Selection in Relation to Sex (1871/1952) he argued:
No excuse is needed for treating this subject in some
detail; for, as the German philosopher Schopen-
hauer remarks, “The final aim of all love intrigues,
be they comic or tragic, is really of more impor-
tance than all other ends in human life. What it all
turns upon is nothing less than the composition of
the next generation. . . . It is not the weal or woe of
any one individual, but that of the human race to
come, which is here at stake.” (p. 578)
From the moment of our conception, we be-
come dependent on others for our continued ex-
istence. Most directly, we become dependent on
our mothers. Because a mother, in turn, is de-
pendent on others for support during her preg-
nancy, we, too, are indirectly dependent on those
others. For example, low birth weight is a pri-
mary cause of infant death, and birth weight has
been shown to be a function of the support our
mother receives—or fails to receive—from her
family, her mate, and others during our gesta-
tion period (Feldman, Dunkel-Schetter, Sand-
man, & Wadhwa, 2000).
The human’s gestation period is one of the
longest of all species. If a woman dies during
pregnancy—by disease, accident, domestic vio-
lence, suicide, or other means—it is likely that
the baby, too, will die. If she suffers from mal-
nutrition, the infant may be born with a host of
physical infirmities. If she drinks alcohol, espe-
cially during the months of gestation when the
brain is rapidly developing, we may be afflicted
with fetal alcohol syndrome—the cerebral hemi-
spheres will be smaller than normal and the cor-
tex covered with an abnormal layer of tangled
cells and fibers (Blakemore, 1998). If a pregnant
woman contracts AIDS, the baby may be born
afflicted with that disease, and if she ingests co-
caine or heroin, the baby may be born chemical-
ly addicted and suffer the pain of withdrawal at
birth or die. If she ingests nicotine, the baby may
arrive prematurely and may be especially vul-
nerable to ear infections and a host of other dis-
eases. If she takes the acne drug Accutane, the
baby may be born with a number of even more
2 CHAPTER 1
serious birth defects. Researchers now suspect
that these immediate consequences of life in the
mother’s womb may be just the tip of the ice-
berg. Evidence is accumulating that the effects
of gestational life may not reveal themselves until
years later. Conditions in the womb may pro-
gram how the brain, liver, heart, and other or-
gans function in midlife (Nathanielsz, 1999). As
a consequence, some developmental psycholo-
gists have concluded that the prenatal period
may be the most consequential period of a per-
son’s life (Thompson & Nelson, 2001).
During the gestational period our dependen-
cy on another person—the degree to which we
are affected by another’s behavior—is as great
as we ever will experience. This is one reason the
mother–child relationship is viewed by many as
the prototype, the very best example, of a close
relationship, as discussed in Chapter 5, “Vari-
eties of Relationship,” and why most people view
maternal love as the prototype of what love really
is (Fehr & Russell, 1991). The extreme depen-
dency of humans on the mother during gesta-
tion is perhaps most vividly reflected in the fact
that if the mother decides to terminate a preg-
nancy, the fetus almost surely will die. She may
do so to save her own life or for other reasons,
some of which vary from culture to culture and
country to country. For example, females face a
relatively high risk of dying before birth if their
mother is a citizen of China or India or one of the
many other countries where females are less cul-
turally valued than males. Population experts at
the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences estimate
that almost one-third of girls are missing because
of gender-based abortions (Beech, 2002).
A newspaper article, “China’s ‘Dying Rooms’:
Cries Finally Heard ’Round the World,” illus-
trates the plight of many female infants (Hilditch,
1995):
Mei-ming has lain this way for 10 days now; tied up
in urine-soaked blankets, scabs of dried mucus
growing across her eyes, her face shrinking to a
skull, malnutrition slowly shriveling her 2-year-old
body. The orphanage staff call her room the ’dying
room,’ and they have abandoned her for the very
same reason her parents abandoned her shortly
after she was born. She is a girl.
 When Mei-ming dies four days later, it will be of
sheer neglect. Afterward, the orphanage will deny
she ever existed. She will be just another invisible
victim of the collision between China’s one-child
policy and its traditional preference for male heirs.
She is one of perhaps 15 million female babies who
have disappeared from China’s demographics since
the one-child policy was introduced in 1979.
Unlike many other animals that are born
relatively mature and independent, without a
mother to care for it, or a father, or someone—
anyone!—to care whether it lives or dies, the
human infant will not survive. Fortunately, most
human infants are born into a ready-made web
of interpersonal relationships that provide them
with the essentials of life.
THE HUMAN INFANT’S
SOCIAL INHERITANCE
Our first life-sustaining relationship web is our
social inheritance or, as the early psychological
theorist and evolutionist James Mark Baldwin
(e.g., 1897) called it, our “social heredity.” As with
other kinds of inheritances, some infants are born
richer than others. Some of us are born into a
large network of socially, economically, and psy-
chologically secure people for whom our birth
was an occasion for celebration and joy. Many of
them arranged to be in close proximity when we
drew our first breath. Roused from sleep in the
middle of the night or called from work or play,
they abandoned their activities to be present at
our birth, and many celebrate that day with us
each year. Even before we were born, some had
already showered us with gifts and contributed
to our welfare through donations of time, ener-
gy, money, and other resources to furnish our
nest, to clothe us, to provide toys to amuse us,
or even to fund our later education. Before they
ever laid eyes on us, they helped ensure not only
that would we survive, but we would survive as
happily and healthily as possible.
In contrast to those infants born with a silver
relationship spoon in their mouths, others are
not so fortunate, as the short, painful life of Mei-
ming and the thousands, perhaps millions, like
her all over the world illustrate. Some infants
inherit a relationship web that involves few
people and is impoverished in quality. For an
increasing number of infants in the United
States and other countries, their social inheri-
tance does not include their fathers. As a result,
it also does not include their paternal grand-
parents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Moreover,
their mother, more than most mothers, is like-
ly to be poverty-stricken. According to the U.S.
census (1999), families with a female head of
household in the richest country in the world
had a poverty rate of 30% and comprised the
majority of poor families. Poverty is associat-
ed with substandard housing, homelessness,
inadequate childcare, unsafe neighborhoods,
and poor schools. Impoverished children are at
risk for a wide range of problems, including
detrimental effects on brain development and
intelligence, low academic achievement, defi-
cient socioemotional functioning, develop-
mental delays, behavioral problems, and
physical illnesses (e.g., McLoyd, 1998). Two-
thirds of poor mothers report that they suffered
severe violence at the hands of their childhood
caretaker, and almost half report that they were
sexually molested in childhood; in turn, their
children are more likely to be sexually abused
than other children are (Browne & Bassuk,
1997). Thus, whereas some infants inherit a rich
relationship web, many others inherit one that
is indifferent or actively hostile to them.
THE EVOLUTIONARY
PERSPECTIVE
In contrast to the infant’s social inheritance,
which ranges from very rich to very poor, almost
all humans are born with an exceedingly rich bi-
ological inheritance that helps them make the
most of their social inheritance. Interest in the
evolutionary development of the human’s innate
predispositions to respond to specific features of
the social environment has increased in recent
years. Evolutionary psychologists and develop-
mental psychologists are in agreement that
FIRST RELATIONSHIPS 3
human infants are born with sufficient biological
equipment to almost immediately interact with
the people they find around them and to do their
part in developing and sustaining the relation-
ships they need in order to survive. Often re-
ferred to as “the social animal,” the human is one
of the most social creatures in the animal
kingdom.
Most psychologists believe that the human’s
social nature was programmed into our biolog-
ical makeup over evolutionary time. For any
species to survive, its members need, at mini-
mum, to find food, avoid injury, reproduce, and,
at least for the higher animals whose young tend
to be born immature, rear the young. Although
the exact date is subject to perennial debate, the
emergence of Homo sapiens is evident in the fos-
sil record beginning at least 250,000 years ago,
which coincides with the time certain primates
left the forests of Africa, which were shrinking
in size, for the plains, where food was scarce
and they were easily visible to predators. The
brains of these humanlike primates increased
dramatically in size in a relatively short period
of time, presumably as a result of the strong se-
lection pressures produced by their extremely
harsh environment (see Plutchik, 1980). Not
only were those primates with larger and more
powerful brains more likely to survive, so too
were those who banded together with others to
improve their food-finding chances and to de-
fend against predators. Those early humans
who could not form relationships with their
companions for food and defense purposes and
to mate and rear their young probably didn’t
survive to contribute to the genetic heritage of
present-day humans. As a consequence, it seems
likely that the human’s social nature is “wired”
into our biological makeup in ways we are only
beginning to understand.
Consideration of early humans’ survival
challenges has led many theorists to propose
that evolutionary psychology should be based
on the premise that the most important feature
of human evolutionary history was—and still
is—selection for small group living; that is, hu-
mans who possessed features that facilitated
their interactions with others survived, repro-
4 CHAPTER 1
duced, and contributed to the biological make-
up of present-day humans, whereas those who
could not form relationships with others died.
Such theorists argue that our dependence on
other people has been a fundamental fact of the
human condition since the evolution of Homo
sapiens began. Brewer and Caporael (1990) are
among those who argue that the small cooper-
ative group has been the primary survival strat-
egy characteristic of the species from the
beginning of human time to the present day.
According to these theorists, social organiza-
tion “provided a buffer between early hominids
and the natural physical environment, includ-
ing protection from predators, access to food
supplies, and insulation from the elements”
(p. 240). If the social group constituted the se-
lection environment for human evolution at the
individual level, then
the species characteristics that we would expect to
be biologically built in would be those associated
with human sociality—propensities toward coop-
erativeness, group loyalty, adherence to socially
learned norms, and fear of social exclusion.
(pp. 240–241)
Caporael’s (1997) analysis of the probable
role in human evolution of such group config-
urations as dyads (two-person groups),
work/family groups, and larger groups con-
cludes that “dyads are the most ancient core
configuration” (p. 284). In addition to such
functions as mating and ensuring infant sur-
vival, the dyad is important to the infant’s de-
velopment of skills fundamental to all social
interactions (Burgoon, Steen, & Dillman, 1995).
For example, within their early dyadic rela-
tionships infants mirror their partner’s actions
and learn to synchronize their behavior with
their partner’s (e.g., taking turns). Mimicry of
our interaction partner ’s postures, facial ex-
pressions, and other behaviors—unconscious-
ly performed—appears to continue into
adulthood, and it has been shown to facilitate
the smoothness of interactions and to increase
the partners’ liking for each other (Chartrand &
Bargh, 1999).
The Need to Belong
Social psychologists Baumeister and Leary (1995)
posit that over evolutionary time, the human de-
veloped a fundamental motivation for interper-
sonal attachments—a need to belong. They
theorize that the human’s need to belong is man-
ifested in a drive to form and maintain at least a
minimum number of lasting, positive, and sig-
nificant interpersonal relationships. These theo-
rists believe that in order to fulfill our need to
belong, we must satisfy two criteria: First, we
must engage in frequent and affectively pleasant
interactions with at least a few other people; and
second, those interactions must take place in the
context of a temporally stable and enduring
framework of each partner’s concern for the other
partner’s welfare. Baumeister and Leary main-
tain, “Interactions with a constantly changing se-
quence of partners will be less satisfactory than
repeated interactions with the same person(s),
and relatedness without frequent contact will
also be unsatisfactory” (p. 497). In sum, these the-
orists believe that the need to belong can be sat-
isfied only by frequent interaction combined with
persistent caring.
A great deal of evidence supports Baumeister
and Leary’s thesis. Many studies show that we
humans form social relationships easily. People
in virtually every society typically belong to
small, primary groups that involve face-to-face
interactions. Moreover, social psychologists have
found that people prefer to like rather than to
dislike others even when disliking them may sat-
isfy other intrapsychic needs (Newcomb, 1968).
In addition, many studies demonstrate that
changes in an individual’s belongingness status
reliably produce emotional responses. Increases
in belongingness—such as entry into a desirable
group, the beginning of a new friendship, or the
promise of a new romantic relationship—are
often associated with positive affective states such
as joy and happiness. Conversely, decreases in
belongingness usually are associated with nega-
tive affect; for example, rejection by a group or by
one’s friend or lover often produces feelings of
sadness, depression, anger, or fear. Moreover,
people universally appear to respond with dis-
tress and protest to the end of a relationship,
sometimes even to the end of an unsatisfying re-
lationship, as discussed in Chapter 9, “Affective
Processes,” and Chapter 14, “Intervention and
Dissolution.”
Evidence that interpersonal concerns strong-
ly influence how our minds store and process in-
formation also supports the thesis that people
have a need to belong. For example, Gardner,
Pickett, and Brewer (2000) experimentally
demonstrated that people who were subjected
to brief rejection experiences in a simulated com-
puter chat room, as contrasted to those who re-
ceived acceptance, subsequently showed
selective memory for social events over individ-
ualist events in a diary they read. Thus, “social
hunger” appears to influence the mind in the
same ways as other biological drive states such
as those for food, water, and sex—by increasing
attention and retention in memory of drive-
relevant information, as discussed further in
Chapter 8, “Cognitive Processes.” Some psy-
chologists have argued that during evolutionary
development, the human mind was shaped to
deal with the recurring social problems our an-
cestors faced. One recurring social problem, ac-
cording to Cosmides and Tooby (e.g., 1989), is
that some people fail to fulfill their agreements
(“I’ll gather firewood tomorrow if you get it
today”). Cosmides (1989) hypothesized that the
human brain evolved in such a way that we are
able to quickly and accurately detect social
cheaters. As a consequence, it seems that we do
much better solving a problem in logic when the
solution leads to the identification of a social
cheater than we do when the identical logical
problem is framed in a nonsocial way, for exam-
ple, as a mathematical puzzle.
In sum, many evolutionary models empha-
size the significance of the human’s social envi-
ronment over evolutionary time in forming the
biological features of present-day humans. In
their review of the evolutionary psychology lit-
erature, Buss and Kenrick (1998) assert that
evolutionary psychology places social interaction
and social relationships squarely within the cen-
ter of the action. In particular, social interactions
FIRST RELATIONSHIPS 5
 and relationships surrounding mating, kinship,
reciprocal alliances, coalitions, and hierarchies are
especially critical, because all appear to have
strong consequences for successful survival and
reproduction. From an evolutionary perspective,
the functions served by social relationships have
been central to the design of the human mind.
(p. 994)
THE HUMAN INFANT’S
BIOLOGICAL INHERITANCES
FACILITATIVE OF SOCIAL
INTERACTION
Several of the biological features human infants
inherit from their evolutionary ancestors facili-
tate social interaction. We might expect this be-
cause forming relationships with others was
critical to the survival of the species. It is diffi-
cult to identify uniquely social innate response
systems because virtually all of the infant’s in-
nate biological properties facilitate social inter-
actions in some way (see Siegel, 1999). However,
some innate response systems appear to be par-
ticularly facilitative of social interaction and re-
lationship formation.
Psychologists have been interested in identi-
fying the human’s innate behavioral response
systems (present at birth and thus unlearned) at
least since William James (1893) addressed the
subject. Even psychology’s premier environ-
mentalist and the father of behaviorism, John B.
Watson (1914), gave full treatment to instincts,
which he described as complicated, concatenat-
ed behaviors unfolding serially to appropriate
stimulation. Donald Hebb (1958) later defined
instinctive behavior as “complex species-
predictable behavior: at a higher level than re-
flex behavior, not requiring special conditions of
learning for its appearance, but predictable sim-
ply from knowing that we are dealing with a par-
ticular species in its ordinary habitat” (p. 110).
“In its ordinary habitat” is an important phrase
because in order for instinctive behavior to be
expressed, the animal usually must be observed
in the environment in which the species evolved,
6 CHAPTER 1
for it is presumably in response to the demands
of that environment that the instinctive behav-
ior developed. This is one reason why etholo-
gists, who study animal behavior, usually study
animals in the wild, not in the laboratory.
With a few exceptions (e.g., Elman et al., 1999),
most psychologists adopt Hebb’s definition of in-
stinctive behavior. Further, most agree with Har-
low and Mears (1983) that unlearned responses
(1) typically follow developmental maturation
stages in orderly fashion; (2) tend to be extreme-
ly persistent over time, sometimes throughout life;
and (3) are influenced by many different variables
and thus tend to be complex in nature.
The first studies to reveal the existence of in-
nate response systems to certain social stimuli
were conducted with nonhuman primates, our
closest relatives in the animal kingdom. Hebb
(1946) demonstrated that nonhuman primates
possess a spontaneous and unlearned fear re-
sponse system; that is, they exhibit agitated fight
and flight behaviors to certain stimuli they have
never seen before. One social stimulus that reli-
ably activates their fear response system is the
sight of an anesthetized, and thus unresponsive
and seemingly lifeless, conspecific (a member of
the same species). The adaptive value of fear re-
sponses to a seemingly dead fellow primate
seems obvious: Whatever was responsible for its
death may be lurking in wait for another victim,
so preparation to fight or flee has survival value.
The Attachment Behavioral System
Perhaps the most important and clearly social of
the innate response systems is the attachment be-
havioral system. The first experimental report of
such a system appeared in 1958 when Harry Har-
low (Figure 1.2) published a seminal article in
American Psychologist titled “The Nature of Love.”
Harlow’s Love System
Harlow observed that although the word “love”
has the highest reference frequency of any word
cited in Bartlett’s Familiar Quotations—reflecting
its importance in the lives of humans—

FIGURE 1.2 Harry Harlow.
psychologists had almost completely ignored the
subject. At that time, psychologists concentrated
on physical needs:
The basic motives are, for the most part, the pri-
mary drives—particularly hunger, thirst, elimina-
tion, pain, and sex—and all other motives,
including love or affection, are derived or secondary
drives. The mother is associated with the reduction
of the primary drives—particularly hunger, thirst,
and pain—and through learning, affection or love
is derived. (Harlow, 1958, p. 673)
Despite the fact that love is important to humans
of all ages in all kinds of relationships, most of the
quotations in Bartlett referred to romantic love
between a man and a woman, leading Harlow
to protest, “These authors and authorities have
stolen love from the child and the infant and
made it the exclusive property of the adolescent
and adult” (p. 673).
Harlow’s studies of the love of an infant for
its caretaker, usually its mother, came about by
accident. The University of Wisconsin’s Primate
Laboratory, where Harlow worked, was desper-
ate because its monkeys were dying of tubercu-
losis, a disease that had been imported from India
along with some of the monkeys. Not only were
monkeys dying, but laboratory personnel were in
constant danger of contracting this contagious
disease as well. To reduce their dependence on
imported monkeys, the lab directors decided to
establish a breeding colony. A small number of
disease-free infant monkeys were selected to be
bred later; to keep them free of disease, the re-
searchers isolated them from their mothers and
from each other. The procedure of raising the in-
fant monkeys alone in hygienic wire cages was
successful in keeping them physically healthy.
However, the researchers subsequently discov-
ered that not only had they eliminated disease
from their infant monkeys, but they also had
eliminated their ability to mate! When introduced
to their prospective mates, the monkeys re-
sponded with trembling and fear. The monkeys’
solitary rearing had produced healthy bodies but
unhealthy minds. Harlow and his colleagues
tried to repair the damage they had done but dis-
covered they could not easily remedy the deficits
in these monkeys’ social behavior.
To learn more about this unanticipated and un-
fortunate effect of the monkeys’ solitary childhood,
Harlow again separated neonatal monkeys from
their mothers 6 to 12 hours after birth, suckled them
on tiny bottles, and housed them once again in soli-
tary cages. (Infant mortality using this procedure
was only a fraction of what it would have been had
the infants been raised by their monkey mothers.)
Harlow subsequently noticed that when the fold-
ed gauze diapers used to carpet the floor of the in-
fants’ cages were replaced periodically for sanitary
purposes, the monkey infants violently protested.
To Harlow, the monkeys’ attachments to their gauze
diapers seemed reminiscent of the human infant’s
attachment to a favorite blanket or cuddly toy. This
gave Harlow the idea of constructing two kinds of
surrogate mothers for the infants, one made of soft
cloth and the other of wire (Figure 1.3). Half of the
surrogate mothers of each type lactated milk and
half did not. Harlow found that the infant mon-
keys disdained their wire mothers, even when they
FIRST RELATIONSHIPS 7

FIGURE 1.3 Wire and cloth “mothers.”
were a source of milk, but loved their cloth
mothers—even when their cloth mothers didn’t
supply food. How did Harlow know the infants
loved their cloth mothers? They approached and
clung to “her”; they rubbed their faces against her
face and their bodies against her body; and they
showed great distress when they were separated
from their upholstered “mom.”
Harlow concluded that infant monkeys pos-
sess an innate predisposition to prefer soft moth-
ers. He speculated that contact comfort has long
served the animal kingdom as a motivating agent
for affectional responses. For obvious ethical rea-
sons, Harlow’s studies were conducted with
macaque monkeys rather than with human in-
fants. Although the macaque is more mature than
the human infant at birth and grows more rapid-
ly, Harlow asserted that its basic affectional re-
sponses, such as nursing, contact, clinging, and
visual and auditory exploration, are not funda-
mentally different from those of the human infant.
As a result of his experiments, Harlow (1958)
claimed that an important, perhaps primary,
function of nursing is to ensure frequent and in-
timate body contact of the infant with the moth-
er. Moreover, Harlow hypothesized:
One function of the real mother, human or subhu-
man, and presumably of a mother surrogate, is to
provide a haven of safety for the infant in times of
8 CHAPTER 1
fear and danger. The frightened or ailing child
clings to its mother, not its father; and this selec-
tive responsiveness in times of distress, disturbance,
or danger may be used as a measure of the strength
of affectional bonds. (p. 678).
To experimentally test his “safe haven” hypoth-
esis, Harlow exposed his infant monkeys to fear
stimuli and found that those with cloth mothers
ran to her for comfort, but those with wire
mothers tended to ignore her even when they
were fearful.
Harlow (1958) demonstrated that infant mon-
keys possess, quite literally, an “attachment” sys-
tem—an innate predisposition to physically
attach themselves to a soft, warm, and furry body.
Importantly, Harlow showed that the “reward”
of food was not responsible for the monkeys’
preference. In his original article, Harlow illus-
trated his findings with poems and photos of var-
ious animals and their infants. For example,
beneath the photo of a crocodile baby and its
mother (Figure 1.4), he said:
Here is the skin they love to touch
It isn’t soft and there isn’t much
But its contact comfort will beguile
Love from the infant crocodile. (p. 678)
About the snake, he said:
To baby vipers, scaly skin
Engenders love ’twixt kith and kin.
Each animal by God is blessed
With [the] kind of skin it loves the best. (p. 677)
And of the rhinoceros, Harlow wrote:
The rhino’s skin is thick and tough,
And yet this skin is soft enough
That baby rhinos always sense
A love enormous and intense. (p. 677)
In sum, Harlow asserted, all infants need con-
tact comfort. He may have been more right than
he could have known at the time. Neurophysi-
ologist Olausson and his associates (2002) have
discovered that among the different kinds of
nerve cells in the skin that register different tac-
tile sensations such as temperature and pain,
there are a few that register only gentle touches
and caresses. Moreover, these nerve cells appear
to be “wired” to regions of the brain associated
 evacuated children from London and other
highly populated cities to the country to pro-
tect them from German bombings. In these mass
evacuations, children of all ages and back-
grounds were torn from their caretakers and
families (Figure 1.6). Bowlby noticed that many
of the children who had been separated from
their loved ones subsequently exhibited a vari-
ety of psychological disorders, and he became
interested in the effects of disrupted child–-
mother bonds on psychopathology and on
human development in general (see Bowlby,
1973a).
FIGURE 1.4 Mother and baby animals.

with the experience of pleasant emotion. These

twenty-first-century neuroscientists comment,
“The profound importance of such a system for
human well-being has long been suggested, at
least since the classical study of baby monkeys
who show affection for a surrogate mother in re-
sponse to tactile comfort” (p. 3).

Bowlby’s Attachment Theory

At about the same time Harlow was conduct-
ing his experiments, British psychoanalyst and
ethologist John Bowlby (1953, 1958; see
Figure 1.5) reported his initial observations of
the human infant’s “bond” with its mother—a
bond that he, too, said was evidenced by the
child’s seeking to achieve and maintain prox-
imity to its mother and by feelings of distress
when separated from her. As for Harlow, it was
Bowlby’s keen powers of observation that led
to his interest in the infant–mother relationship.
During World War II, the British government FIGURE 1.5 John Bowlby.

FIRST RELATIONSHIPS 9

FIGURE 1.6 During World War II, the British
government evacuated many children from London
and other highly populated cities to the country to
protect them from bombings. In these mass
evacuations, children were often separated from
their caretakers and families and subsequently
exhibited extreme stress and a variety of
psychological disorders.
Bowlby (1979) observed that at each phase of
our lives, we humans tend to form strong at-
tachments to a few other special individuals.
“The core of what I term an ’affectional bond,’ ”
he said, “is the attraction that one individual has
for another individual” (p. 67). Affectional bonds
are personal and specific (e.g., another individual
will not substitute). As long as our affectional
bonds remain intact, we feel secure, but when
they are broken—by the death of the attachment
figure or by involuntary separation—we become
anxious and distressed. “The essential feature of
affectional bonding,” Bowlby said, “is that bond-
ed partners tend to remain in proximity to one
another” (1973a, p. 39). Bowlby believed that af-
fectional bonding is built deep into our biologi-
10 CHAPTER 1
cal inheritance because attachment behaviors
provided survival advantage.
Like Harlow, Bowlby (1973a) observed that
his theory that human infants are born with an in-
nate predisposition to quickly form an attach-
ment to another human was in opposition to
conventional psychological wisdom at the time:
Until the mid-1950s only one view of the nature
and origin of affectional bonds was prevalent, and
on this matter, if on few others, psychoanalysts and
learning theorists were at one. Bonds between in-
dividuals develop, it was held, because an indi-
vidual discovers that, in order to reduce certain
drives, e.g., for food in infancy and for sex in adult
life, another human being is necessary. . . . As Anna
Freud puts it, it is a cupboard love theory of human
relations. (pp. 40–41)
Thanks to Harlow’s and Bowlby’s efforts and
those of their students, by the mid-1970s Bowlby
(1973a) was able to declare that the evidence was
clearly pointing to a different way of looking at
human bonding:
First, it is now well attested that strong bonds can
develop between individuals without any reward
being given of the sort hitherto supposed to be es-
sential. Secondly, it is now known that young crea-
tures show fear and take avoiding action without
pain having played any part whatsoever. Thirdly,
a study of animals in the wild shows that, if any
species is to survive, its members have to be
equipped to deal with much else besides nutrition
and reproduction or avoiding parts of the envi-
ronment that have already been experienced as
painful: a protection from predators is a top prior-
ity. (p. 41)
Bowlby’s attachment theory also helped ac-
count for evidence that an infant can develop
a strong bond to a caregiver, and attempt to re-
main in close proximity to that person, even in
instances in which the caregiver has been pun-
ishing. The proximity-seeking behavior of a
battered child toward an abusive adult care-
giver is a poignant example that attachments
can develop and persevere despite repeated
punishments from the attachment figure. Eibl-
Eibesfeldt (1989) notes that “it is known that
abused children generally have a very power-
ful bond with their parents and protest, to the
amazement of the authorities, when they are
removed from their care and placed in a foster
home” (p. 78). He also notes, however, that
child abuse is relatively uncommon and that,
overall, bonding to a caregiver has had sur-
vival value.
Findings of a strong bond between a child and
an abusive caregiver or an adult and an abusive
partner were troublesome for psychological
learning theorists, whose reward–punishment
frameworks predict that people approach, or are
“attracted,” only to others who provide them
with rewards and that they avoid those who are
punishing. Some learning theorists attempted to
incorporate the new findings into their theories,
but most such accounts were excruciatingly con-
voluted and frequently accomplished little more
than to label an individual’s approach to an un-
rewarding person as “masochistic,” a term that
describes the behavior but does not explain it. In
contrast, attachment theory did provide an ex-
planation: specifically, that humans are born with
an innate predisposition to stay in close physi-
cal proximity to other members of the species
who can act to protect them from survival threats
(even if, in unusual instances, the caregiver–child
relationship is marked by punishment).
Bowlby reasoned that it is particularly im-
portant for infants, who lack the benefit of learn-
ing experiences to inform them what or who is
FIGURE 1.7 Many infant animals, including ducklings and goslings, possess an innate proximity-
promoting mechanism that leads them to stay physically close to the first object they see when they hatch.
likely to be a threat to their survival, to be born
with an instinctive proximity-promoting mech-
anism that leads them to stay physically close to
persons who can supply food, shelter, and pro-
tection from disease and injury. Many animals
who are born immature do possess such a mech-
anism, as ethologist Konrad Lorenz (e.g., 1952)
demonstrated in his famous object-imprinting
experiments with ducklings and goslings, who
have an innate following response to the object
they are near when they hatch (Figure 1.7). That
object is usually their mother, but the public was
amused by many experimental demonstrations
that ducklings also would follow a ball, a per-
son, or even a pig if that was the first object they
set eyes on. If the duckling follows the object for
a period of time during its “sensitive period,”
the bond that is formed is irreversible—the duck-
ling becomes “imprinted” on the object. Etholo-
gists subsequently found that the duckling is
confident and self-assured when its “mother”
(whether a duck, a ball, or a human) is present
but becomes fearful when the mother is absent
(see Eibl-Eibesfeldt, 1989). Human infants, too,
quickly develop a strong preference to stay in
close proximity to a person with whom they are
familiar and who meets certain minimum visu-
al, auditory, or tactile requirements that are typ-
ically satisfied by another human.
Bowlby classifies any behavior as an attach-
ment behavior if it results in the achievement
or maintenance of proximity between one
FIRST RELATIONSHIPS 11
 FIGURE 1.8 Stressful situations tend to elicit attachment behavior. Here, people reach out for comfort
after the shootings at Columbine High School on April 20, 1999 (left) and the attacks on the World Trade
Center on September 11, 2001 (right).
individual and another: “Whether the behavior
is crying, calling, following, clinging, or any other,
if it results in proximity it counts as attachment
behavior” (1973a, pp. 42–43). Thanks to modern-
day technology, to the list of proximity-achieving
behaviors can be added telephone calls, email,
and fax communications that maintain interac-
tional proximity to the attachment figure. In ad-
dition, Bowlby states that attachment behavior is
usually exhibited by a younger, or subordinate, or
weaker animal toward an older, or more domi-
nant, or stronger one.
Although attachment behavior is especially ev-
ident between the child’s first and third years,
Bowlby argues that attachment behavior charac-
terizes humans at all ages. He states, “So far from
its being regressive, as is sometimes suggested, at-
tachment behavior is a normal and healthy part of
human nature from the cradle to the grave” (1973a,
p. 46). He reached this conclusion on evidence that
attachment behavior tends to be elicited at high
intensity in situations of alarm (Figure 1.8). Such
events may occur at any age. Thus, attachment be-
havior in adults is likely to be evident when the
individual is distressed, ill, or frightened. It is not
12 CHAPTER 1
unusual, for example, for mortally wounded sol-
diers on the battlefield to cry out for their mothers.
Bowlby’s (1969; 1973a, b; 1980; 1988) many
theoretical works spurred systematic empirical
studies of childhood attachment as well as count-
less theoretical elaborations and refinements, ac-
tivities that continue to the present day. Much of
this research was facilitated by the development
of a standardized procedure for classifying indi-
vidual differences in the quality of a child’s at-
tachment to a caretaker by Bowlby’s student
Mary Ainsworth (Figure 1.9) and her colleagues
(e.g., Ainsworth, Blehar, Waters, & Wall, 1978).
The strange situation procedure was construct-
ed to be somewhat stressful for the infant (there-
by activating the infant’s attachment behavioral
system) because it exposes the infant to persons
and settings that are “strange” to him or her. It is
usually administered to children around 12 to 18
months of age. The child’s behavior is observed
in a laboratory situation that involves a series of
separation and reunion episodes with the care-
giver (Figure 1.10). The episodes begin with the
caregiver (usually the mother) and the infant en-
tering an unfamiliar room where the infant plays

FIGURE 1.9 Mary Ainsworth.
FIGURE 1.10 The strange situation is designed to
activate the infant’s attachment behavioral system
by exposing the infant to a stranger. The infant’s
response to the situation allows researchers to assess
the quality of his or her attachment to the caregiver.
with toys with the caregiver present. After a brief
period, a stranger enters the room and the care-
giver exits, leaving the infant alone in the room
with the stranger. A short time later, the caregiv-
er returns and the stranger leaves. Next, the care-
giver leaves and the infant is left alone in the
room. Finally, the stranger returns, followed a
short time later by the return of the caregiver.
The strange situation assesses the quality—not
the existence or strength—of the infant’s attach-
ment to his or her caretaker. Although Bowlby
originally suggested that attachments might vary
in strength, by the late 1970s he declared, “To
think of attachment as varying according to its
strength . . . has proved extremely misleading
and has been abandoned by informed workers”
(1979, p. 66). The quality of the behavior pattern
the infant exhibits during the episodes general-
ly is one of three kinds (see Weinfield, Sroufe,
Egeland, & Carlson, 1999): secure, insecure/re-
sistant, or insecure/avoidant.
Children who display the secure attachment
pattern are able to use the mother as a secure
base for exploration in the novel room and, when
distressed, actively seek contact with her and are
readily comforted. When the mother is absent,
secure children show confident expectations of
her return. The hypothesis that children are more
likely to explore the environment when they feel
protected by their caregiver’s presence has been
called attachment theory’s secure base hypoth-
esis, and it has received much support.
The secure pattern of behavior appears to be
rooted in reliable care and, especially, sensitivity
and responsiveness to the child’s expressions of
need. There is a great deal of empirical support
for what has been termed attachment theory’s
sensitivity hypothesis—that sensitive care
results in secure attachment (see van IJzendoorn
& Sagi, 1999). For example, Bakermans-
Kranenburg, van IJzendoorn, and Juffer 2003
meta-analyzed over 70 parental intervention
studies that were aimed at enhancing parents’
positive behaviors, including sensitivity and re-
sponsiveness to the child, and that also used ob-
servational (rather than self-report) measures of
actual changes in parenting behavior. These re-
viewers concluded that the interventions that
FIRST RELATIONSHIPS 13
were effective in enhancing parental sensitivity
were also the interventions most effective in en-
hancing the child’s attachment security. About
two-thirds of infants in American middle-class
families exhibit the secure behavior pattern.
In the insecure/resistant (sometimes called
anxious-ambivalent) pattern, which characterizes
about 10% of infants tested, the child is unable to
use the caregiver as a secure base for exploration.
This behavior pattern is characterized by little ex-
ploration even in the mother’s presence, by low
thresholds for threat, by extreme separation dis-
tress, and, upon reunion, by being resistant to
being comforted by the caretaker. These infants
are preoccupied with the caregiver but may an-
grily reject her soothing overtures. Such behavior
appears to be rooted in inconsistent, hit-or-miss, or
chaotic care; the child’s expectations seem to be
that the mother will be available only with vigi-
lance and the self will be ineffective in eliciting
care (Sroufe & Fleeson, 1988).
Insecure/avoidant children treat the caregiver
much as they do the stranger and are unlikely to
be distressed when the mother leaves or to seek
contact with her after experiencing the distress of
separation. Sroufe and Fleeson (1988) state, “Un-
derlying such a paradoxical response to brief sep-
aration is a history of [the caregiver’s] chronic
emotional unavailability and/or rejection” (p. 32).
About 20% to 25% of children are classified as
avoidant. Thus, about two-thirds of children test-
ed are classified as secure and about one-third as
insecure, with the insecure group composed of
two subgroups: resistant and avoidant.
Bowlby theorized that the quality of the
child’s early attachment relationship influences
later interpersonal relationships because from
this first relationship, the child develops a view
of what other people are like (e.g., trustworthy,
available) and of him- or herself as worthy or
unworthy (e.g., of care). People’s views of them-
selves as worthy or unworthy have implications
for their future relationships. For example, Mur-
ray, Holmes, Griffin, Bellavia, and Rose (2001)
found that dating and marital partners who were
troubled by self-doubt (partly measured by the
individual’s self-report of attachment orienta-
14 CHAPTER 1
tion) underestimated the actual strength of their
partner’s love; such underestimation, in turn,
was associated with less satisfaction with the re-
lationship and less optimism for its future than
the partner’s actual feelings warranted. Bowlby
characterized the child’s developing view of re-
lationships as a mental working model of relation-
ships—“working,” not final, because Bowlby
believed that people’s view of relationships
could change in response to the quality of sub-
sequent relationships.
Bowlby’s emphasis on the importance of early
relationships in the development of psy-
chopathology was consistent with his psycho-
analytic training and Freud’s belief that many
mental disorders could be traced back to the in-
dividual’s earliest relationships. A central tenet of
attachment theory, then, is that different patterns
of early attachment have different consequences
for the individual’s subsequent relationships. For
example, the theory predicts that securely at-
tached children become more socially and emo-
tionally competent than do those who are
insecurely attached. The competence hypothe-
sis of attachment theory has received a great deal
of support. In their longitudinal study of chil-
dren whose attachment classifications were as-
sessed at an early age, Sroufe, Egeland, and
Kreutzer (1990) report that relative to their inse-
cure counterparts, those children who were clas-
sified as securely attached to their caregivers in
their first year of life subsequently coped better
with developmental transitions, developed su-
perior social skills, were more popular with their
peers, were better liked by their teachers, and
had fewer behavior problems.
In assessing social competence, developmen-
tal psychologists are sensitive to the fact that the
nature of a social interaction depends on the char-
acteristics of both partners, not simply one. This
fundamental fact—that the nature of social inter-
action is a function of the properties of both part-
ners—underlies all relationships. For example,
when Sroufe and his colleagues (see Sroufe & Flee-
son, 1986) paired preschool-age children with dif-
ferent attachment histories for play, they found
that children with secure histories neither victim-
ized other children nor were the victims of other
children regardless of whom they were paired
with, but those with ambivalent (i.e., resistant) his-
tories were vulnerable to victimization by other
children and those with avoidant histories were
prone to victimize unless paired with a more pow-
erful partner. The pairing of an avoidant child with
another avoidant child or with an ambivalent child
quickly led to abusive interactions. Other re-
searchers also have found that children’s interac-
tions are a function of both partners’ attachment
classifications. Pastor (1981), for example, found
that the interactions of securely attached toddlers,
rated as higher in sociability and positive orien-
tation toward their peers, are more harmonious
when they interact with each other than with an
insecurely attached child.
Most attachment theorists and researchers
have viewed attachment theory’s sensitivity, se-
cure base, and social competence hypotheses to
be universal—applicable to all persons in all cul-
tures. Indeed, from their review of the relatively
few cross-cultural studies available, van IJzen-
doorn and Sagi (1999) conclude that attachment
theory possesses cross-cultural validity. Howev-
er, Rothbaum, Weisz, Pott, Miyake, and Morelli
(2000) have argued persuasively that attachment
theory measures are saturated with Western val-
ues. They observe, for example, that behaviors
regarded as manifestations of social competence
in Western culture, such as self-reliance and au-
tonomy, are viewed as less desirable in many
Asian cultures, which stress community and in-
terdependence with others. Rothbaum and col-
leagues advocate a more context-conscious
approach to attachment phenomena and the use
of measures sensitive to the ways in which at-
tachment processes reflect the cultural values of
the society in which the individual is embedded.
In addition to investigating the effects of child-
hood attachment on later relationships, much re-
cent research has focused on the attachment
orientations adults display toward their close re-
lationships—especially their romantic relation-
ships. This work was stimulated by Hazan and
Shaver’s (1987) construction of an adult attach-
ment style self-classification scheme intended to
roughly parallel the three child attachment clas-
sifications derived from the strange situation. A
great number of studies have used this classifica-
tion method, or one of its variants, to examine the
correlates and social consequences of adult at-
tachment style (e.g., Cassidy & Shaver, 1999; Simp-
son & Rholes, 1998), as discussed in Chapter 10,
“Dispositional Influences.” The association be-
tween the classification an individual receives
using the adult attachment style self-report
method and the classification the individual
would have received had he or she been observed
as a child in the strange situation is not yet clear.
(This general method subsumes many specific
tests and scales.) Another issue concerns the fact
that although most attachment researchers have
regarded individuals as possessing a single “glob-
al” attachment orientation toward all relationships,
recent evidence suggests that individuals may de-
velop many different attachment orientations, each
tied to a particular type of relationship or even a
specific relationship within a type (e.g., Cook, 2000;
La Guardia, Ryan, Couchman, & Deci, 2000).
Although most current attachment research,
whether conducted with children or with adults,
currently focuses on differences among individ-
uals in attachment orientation, both Bowlby and
Harlow believed that all humans are innately pre-
disposed to form strong attachments to at least
some other people. Attachment, as Harlow ex-
plicitly stated, is one variety of human love. It ap-
pears in at least some contemporary taxonomies
of varieties of love (e.g., Berscheid, 1985b), and,
as previously noted, some theorists view attach-
ment processes as especially important in under-
standing the dynamics of an individual’s romantic
relationships because they believe that for most
adults, a romantic partner becomes an attachment
figure (e.g., Shaver, Hazan, & Bradshaw, 1988), as
discussed further in Chapter 11, “Love.” In addi-
tion to romantic partners, adults also frequently
name close friends as attachment figures (see
Mikulincer, Gillath, & Shaver, 2002). Adult at-
tachment figures share the same characteristics as
child attachment figures: (1) They are a target of
proximity maintenance (e.g., separation is resisted);
(2) they provide a safe haven in times of need (e.g.,
FIRST RELATIONSHIPS 15
they provide support); and (3) they provide a
secure base (e.g., facilitating exploration and per-
sonal development) (see Hazan & Shaver, 1994;
Mikulincer et al., 2002).
Other Innate Social
Response Systems
Investigations of innate social response systems
have focused almost exclusively on attachment.
Its only rival is temperament, also believed to be
innately determined. As for attachment, indi-
vidual differences in temperament have many
implications for social interaction and relation-
ship dynamics.
Temperament
The concept of temperament, according to de-
velopmental psychologist Jerome Kagan (1994),
“refers to any moderately stable, differentiat-
ing emotional or behavioral quality whose ap-
pearance in childhood is influenced by an
inherited biology, including differences in brain
neurochemistry” (p. xvii). This definition al-
lows for the possibility of many different tem-
peraments. Kagan (1989) has suggested that the
number of possible temperament traits may be
larger than 6 but less than 60, and one of the
early studies of temperament in infants and
children identified 9 different temperament di-
mensions (Thomas & Chess, 1977). Neverthe-
less, researchers have focused on only one
dimension. The dimension that has captured
researchers’ attention was first identified by a
fourth-century physician, Galen of Perganon,
who speculated that some people inherit a ten-
dency toward “melancholia,” whereas others
have a constitutional bias toward “sanguine,”
or cheerful, behavior.
Today, Galen’s distinction is frequently called
the extraversion–introversion dimension (or
sometimes the inhibited–uninhibited dimen-
sion), and it has been identified as one of the
“big five” factors that underlie individuals’ per-
sonality differences (the others being agree-
ableness, conscientiousness, emotional stability,
and intellect/imagination; see Goldberg, 1993).
16 CHAPTER 1
As this suggests, the line between temperament
and personality traits is blurred, although, as
McCrae and colleagues (2000) discuss, psy-
chologists have a long tradition of distinguish-
ing the two. Temperament usually is viewed as
a constitutionally determined predisposition,
as we have noted, whereas personality traits
generally are believed to be acquired patterns
of thought and behavior that, developmental-
ly, build on temperament (see Rothbart, Ahadi,
& Evans, 2000).
In Galen’s Prophecy (1994), Kagan states that
the extraversion–introversion dimension de-
scribes people who are
excessively restrained when they meet a stranger,
wary when they confront an unexpected event, or
cautious when they must act with a risk of possible
failure. Fiction is full of examples that contrast this
personality with its complement—the sociable, fear-
less, bold agent who is unaffected by these every-
day events. Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon in
The Odd Couple are a well-known movie example.
(p. xv)
Like Galen, most psychologists believe that
differences along this dimension are largely
innate—that “inhibited and uninhibited children
inherit unique neurochemistries that affect their
thresholds of reactivity to novelty, leading them
to react in opposite ways to experiences that are
transformations of the familiar and require a brief
period of adjustment” (Kagan, 1994, p. xviii).
Rothbart and Bates (1998), who review tempera-
ment theory and research, observe that the tem-
perament response system is usually “activated
under conditions of novelty, sudden or intense
stimuli, reactions to danger . . . , social interac-
tions with unfamiliar conspecifics, and condi-
tioned responses to punishment” (p. 109). People
differ not only in their thresholds of response to
these conditions (with introverts showing lower
thresholds than extraverts) but also in the inten-
sity and duration of their responses.
An individual’s temperament has many im-
plications for his or her social interactions and
close relationships. For example, there is a great
deal of evidence that extraverts more frequently
and intensely experience positive affect (positive
moods, emotions, and feelings) than introverts
do (e.g., Costa & McCrae, 1980; Diener & Lucas,
1999). Assembling the many studies that have ex-
amined the association between the experience
of positive affect and an individual’s standing on
the extraversion–introversion dimension, Lucas
and Fujita (2000) performed a meta-analysis—a
quantitative procedure whereby the findings of
many studies testing the same hypothesis are
synthesized in order to reach a more reliable con-
clusion about the truth of the hypothesis than is
afforded by any one study (see Rosenthal, 1991;
Rosenthal & DiMatteo, 2001). Lucas and Fujita
concluded that extraverts may have a suscepti-
bility to experience pleasant affect and that, in
fact, pleasant affect may form the very core of ex-
traversion. Like others (e.g., Lucas, Diener, Grob,
Suh, & Shao, 2000; Lucas & Diener, 2001), they
conclude that the mere preference for social
interaction—independent of the degree to which
the social interaction is rewarding—is not the cen-
tral feature of extraversion. Rather, the pleasant-
ness of the situation, not whether it is social or
nonsocial, seems to predict whether extraverts
will enjoy the situation more than introverts will.
Extraverts and introverts thus seem to differ in
their sensitivity to reward.
Ashton, Lee, and Paunonen (2002) subse-
quently presented evidence that although ex-
traverts and introverts do indeed differ in reward
sensitivity, the essential feature that distinguishes
extraverts from introverts is that extraverts enjoy
being the object of social attention. Because reward-
sensitive people tend to show enthusiasm, en-
ergy, and excitement, these qualities often make
extraverts the center of attention in social situa-
tions, and it is their engagement and enjoyment
of attention—not reward sensitivity in itself—
that distinguishes extraverts from introverts.
Although most agree that temperament is in-
nate, ambiguity about the nature and number of
dimensions encompassed by the term “tempera-
ment,” as well as the diversity of meanings
associated with the terms “extraversion,” “intro-
version,” “inhibited,” and “uninhibited,” have
made it difficult to come to clear conclusions
about the biological bases of temperament (see
Strelau, 1994). In addition, although most re-
searchers agree that experience can modify tem-
perament, much needs to be learned about how
it does so. For example, a difficult, cranky baby is
likely to elicit different care from a parent than a
placid, happy baby, and that care may increase
or decrease the baby’s distress (van den Boom,
1994). Whether the infant’s temperament leans
toward negative or positive affectivity also may
interact with its mother’s standing on the
extraversion–introversion dimension to affect the
pattern of interaction between the mother and
her child. Clark, Kochanska, and Ready (2000)
found that highly extraverted mothers exhibited
more “power-assertive” parenting behavior with
infants high in negative affectivity (associated
with introversion and with “difficult” infant be-
havior), whereas mothers low in extraversion
were not power-assertive with either easy or dif-
ficult children. Thus, just as children paired with
others of different attachment histories exhibit
different interaction patterns, the interaction pat-
tern that develops in parent–infant relationships
is a function of the characteristics of both partners
to the interaction—not the parent alone.
The extraversion–introversion temperament
classifications and the attachment classifications
share several features: (1) Each has been treated
as an individual difference variable; that is, differ-
entially classified individuals exhibit different
behaviors. (2) Each is believed to be heavily ge-
netically determined, although modifiable by ex-
perience. (3) Each is believed to be most clearly
displayed under conditions of stress and threat. (4)
Each has implications for the individual’s social in-
teractions. Thus, it has been natural to ask
whether—and how—attachment and tempera-
ment are associated with each other. Some re-
searchers argue that because an infant’s
temperament influences his or her behavior, it
also influences measurements of attachment se-
curity (e.g., Kagan, 1982). Others maintain that
temperament is largely independent of attach-
ment security because most caregivers are sen-
sitive to the needs of infants regardless of the
child’s temperament (e.g., Sroufe, 1985). So far,
few linkages between measures of temperament
and attachment security classifications have been
found (Rothbart & Bates, 1998).
FIRST RELATIONSHIPS 17
The Caregiving System
Both Bowlby and Harlow proposed that humans
are born with several other innate social response
systems. For example, Bowlby theorized that hu-
mans innately possess the complement to the at-
tachment behavioral system—a caregiving
system, which was loosely comparable to the
“maternal love” system proposed by Harlow.
Although most evolutionary approaches to
human behavior emphasize reproduction, Scott
(1967) notes that “reproduction is not solely a
matter of fertilization” (p. 138) because the off-
spring must be nurtured to survive. It seems
doubtful that an attachment system could have
evolved without its complement of adult re-
sponse to the infant’s attachment behavior of call-
ing, crying, and otherwise attempting to remain
in proximity to the caregiver.
That primates not only possess a caregiving
system but that it sometimes extends to caring
for members of other species was illustrated
some years ago when a child visiting a zoo leaned
too far over a fence and fell into the gorilla pit.
One of the gorillas, Binti Jua (Swahili for “Daugh-
ter of Sunshine”) observed the boy’s fall and his
seemingly lifeless body lying at the bottom of the
concrete trench that separated the visitors from
the gorillas. Onlookers held their breath as the
FIGURE 1.11 Binta Jua gently
cradles a three-year-old boy
who fell into the gorilla pit at
the Brookfield Zoo in Illinois.
18 CHAPTER 1
gorilla quickly scrambled down the concrete wall
to examine what had fallen into her territory.
They needn’t have worried, for when Binti
reached the boy she gently lifted his injured body
into her arms and carefully carried him up to her
home, where she laid him on the grass and
watched over him until human rescuers arrived.
Media worldwide publicized Binti’s “heroic” ac-
tions (Figure 1.11), but animal behaviorists in-
terviewed by USA Today said Binti was just
following her motherly caregiving instincts
(Buckley, 1996). Animal experts also pointed out
that long-lived socialized animals, including such
companion animals as dogs and cats, form
attachment bonds with their human caregivers
such that species barriers become blurred and
they look upon us humans as “family” (which, of
course, we are in the evolutionary sense); they
often exhibit separation distress and reunion re-
actions with their human caregivers similar to
those observed between human infants and their
caregivers.
The caregiving system, at least as it was de-
scribed by Bowlby, has been neglected by at-
tachment researchers (Bell & Richard, 2000;
Berscheid & Collins, 2000), as is illustrated by the
fact that the Handbook of Attachment (Cassidy &
Shaver, 1999) contains only one chapter directly
addressed to caregiving (George & Solomon,
1999). One reason for the neglect may be that
most attachment researchers are developmental
psychologists and developmental psychologists
typically study children, whereas caregiving be-
havior is mostly performed by adults. However,
social psychologists, who typically study adult
behavior, have extensively investigated the con-
ditions under which people are likely to help oth-
ers in distress under theoretical umbrellas other
than attachment, including the theories of social
support discussed in Chapter 2, “Relationships
and Health.”
Like Bowlby, some adult attachment style the-
orists view the caregiving system as an integral
part of the attachment system (e.g., Kunce &
Shaver, 1994). Researchers have found signifi-
cant associations between adult attachment style
classification and caregiving to marital and dat-
ing partners (e.g., Simpson, Rholes, & Nelligan,
1992; Feeney & Hohaus, 2001). Again, the at-
tachment classifications of both the prospective
caregiver and the recipient influence whether
caregiving or rejection will occur in interaction.
For example, Westmaas and Silver (2001) mea-
sured their experimental participants’ adult at-
tachment style and then paired each participant
in interaction with a person who, in her answers
to interview questions overheard by the partici-
pant, conveyed characteristics of a specific at-
tachment style and also revealed she had recently
been diagnosed with cancer. Both the partici-
pant’s own attachment style and the perceived
attachment style of the cancer victim predicted
whether the participant rejected or supported the
victim in their subsequent interaction.
In addition to a caregiving system, Bowlby
posited a “reproductive behavioral system” that
appears in adolescence when sexual mating and
reproduction become possible. The reproductive
system received little attention from Bowlby and
even less from subsequent theorists, although
Ainsworth (1989) attempted to elaborate and in-
tegrate such a system with the other systems pro-
posed by Bowlby, as have Shaver and his
associates (e.g., Shaver, Hazan, & Bradshaw,
1988). Harlow’s proposal of a “peer love” sys-
tem also has been almost wholly neglected. The
relative neglect of these systems theorized to be
manifested later in life may stem from the same
reason Harlow studied monkey infants rather
than human babies: “The human neonate,” Har-
low (1958) explained, “is a limited experimental
subject because . . . by the time the human in-
fant’s motor responses can be precisely measured
(e.g., approach behavior), the antecedent deter-
mining conditions cannot be defined, having
been lost in a jumble and jungle of confounded
variables” (p. 674). The “jumble and jungle of
confounded variables” increases exponentially
with age; as the human grows older, it becomes
increasingly difficult to identify which behaviors
are innate and which have been learned.
The Face Perceptual System
Harlow’s monkeys exhibited what may be yet an-
other innate response system especially targeted
toward other members of the species. Harlow no-
ticed that his infant monkeys were especially
attentive to their cloth mothers’ faces. The re-
searchers had made heads for the mother surro-
gates out of round wooden balls on which they
had painted eyes, nose, and a mouth (Harlow &
Suomi, 1970). On one occasion, however, an in-
fant monkey was born before her surrogate moth-
er was finished, and, pressed for time, the
researchers gave its mother an unpainted wood-
en ball for a face. By the time the researchers got
around to giving the mother a painted face, the
baby was 3 months old. “Better late than never,”
the researchers must have been thinking, but they
were shocked to see what happened when they fi-
nally mounted the ball with a face on the body
of the infant’s surrogate mother:
The baby took one look and screamed. She fled to
the back of the cage and cringed in autistic-type pos-
turing. After some days of terror the infant solved
the medusa-mother problem in a most ingenious
manner. She revolved the face 180° so that she al-
ways faced a bare round ball! Furthermore, we
could rotate the maternal face dozens of times and
within an hour or so the infant would turn it around
180°. Within a week the baby resolved her unface-
able problem once and for all. She lifted the mater-
nal head from the body, rolled it into the corner, and
FIRST RELATIONSHIPS 19
 abandoned it. No one can blame the baby. She had
lived with and loved a faceless mother, but she could
not love a two-faced mother. (p. 164)
Attentiveness to faces is characteristic of
human infants as well as monkey infants. One
of the most important tasks of the human per-
ceptual system is recognition of the faces of other
humans. Not only do a person’s facial features
provide the maximum number of cues that allow
us to differentiate one human from another, but
the face is the richest source of cues to another’s
feelings and behavioral intentions toward us. As
a consequence, when we interact with people,
we look at their faces—not their arms or feet—
and what we see in their faces influences our in-
terpretation of what they say (Hassin & Trope,
2000). The belief that “the face is the window to
the soul” and the art of “face-reading” date back
to classical antiquity (Fridlund, 1994). Interest in
people’s attempts to read what is written in the
faces of others continues to the present day (e.g.,
see Russell & Fernández-Dols, 1997; Zebrowitz,
1997).
Because face perception is of great importance
to humans, some cognitive neuroscientists have
hypothesized that our biological inheritance in-
cludes a specialized face-processing module in
the brain (e.g., Farah, 2000). Their investigations
of whether human face perception employs a dif-
ferent neurological processing system than that
involved in the perception of other objects have
addressed three questions: (1) Do face percep-
tion and object perception depend on different
regions of the brain? (2) Are the systems func-
tionally independent? That is, can each operate
without the other? (3) Do the two systems process
information differently? Each of these questions
has been tentatively answered in the affirmative
(see Gazzaniga, Ivry, & Mangun, 1998).
Although most psychologists believe face per-
ception is “special,” the ways in which it is sim-
ilar to or different from the perception of other
objects remains under investigation (Marsolek,
1999). One way in which face perception seems
to differ from the perception of other objects is
that we tend to perceive faces “holistically”; that
20 CHAPTER 1
is, the overall configuration of the face, rather
than its individual features, is perceived and re-
membered. In perceptually processing a house,
for example, it appears that we mentally break
the house down into at least some of its con-
stituent parts—its windows, doors, and roof, for
example—which we can recognize later even
when we see those parts in isolation from the re-
mainder of the house. In contrast, we have diffi-
culty recognizing a person’s eyes, nose, or any
other facial feature when it is not attached to his
or her face (Farah, Wilson, Drain, & Tanaka, 1998;
Tanaka & Farah, 1993).
Psychologists do not know why face percep-
tion tends to be more holistic than the percep-
tion of other kinds of objects. Unlike most other
objects, faces always have the same number of
components and the same overall arrangement of
those components but, as neuroscientist Antonio
Damasio (1994) observes, faces nonetheless are
“infinitely diverse and individually distinguish-
able because of small anatomical differences in
size, contour, and position of these invariant parts
and configuration” (p. 23). Perhaps holistic per-
ception most efficiently allows us to distinguish
these small differences. Another hypothesis, for
which there is mounting support, is that all hu-
mans are “face experts” and anyone expert in
anything may gradually come to perceive ini-
tially differentiated stimuli holistically. Diamond
and Carey (1986), for example, showed some sim-
ilarities between the perception of faces and the
perception of dogs by dog experts but not by
nonexperts, and Gauthier, Skudlarski, Gore, and
Anderson (2000) have found that the same area
of the brain involved in face perception is uti-
lized by car and bird experts.
It seems likely that at least some aspects of
face perception ability may be innate because
the recognition and differentiation of faces
seems to occur rapidly. Infants only 30 minutes
old will visually track a slowly moving
schematic face stimulus with their head and
eyes farther than they will follow other mov-
ing patterns of comparable complexity, such as
scrambled faces, although such differential
tracking appears to decline during the second
month of life (e.g., Johnson, Dziurawiec, Ellis,
& Morton, 1991). To account for this decline,
Morton and Johnson (1991; and see Johnson,
1999) have proposed a “two-process theory” of
infant face perception. These theorists noted
that although laboratory studies of imprinting
in baby chicks show that the chicks recognize
and develop an attachment for the first con-
spicuous object presented to them after hatch-
ing, chicks in the wild invariably imprint on
the mother rather than on other objects that
happen to be present, such as a mouse. Exper-
imentation revealed that chicks possess a neur-
al system present at birth that supports a
predisposition to turn toward and approach ob-
jects resembling conspecifics. Like chicks, Mor-
ton and Johnson above suspect, human infants
are born with some information about the struc-
ture of faces and a neural system that supports
attention to conspecifics. They theorize that a
second neural system, which appears to begin
to operate in the human infant’s second month
of life, subsequently supports the acquisition
of information about the objects to which the
infant attends. Thus, the first system ensures
that the second system acquires information
about the particular individual mother in close
proximity. Because the two systems have dif-
ferent developmental time courses, they dif-
ferentially influence behavior at different ages
(e.g., a decline in differential tracking).
Pascalis, deHaan, and Nelson (2002) have
shown that as infants gain experience in view-
ing faces, their brains begin to focus on the kinds
of faces they see most often in the environment
and they tune out other types. Infants at ages 6
and 9 months as well as adults were able to dis-
tinguish among human faces, but the 6-month-
old infants outperformed the two older groups in
distinguishing among the faces of monkeys. Be-
cause primates are most familiar with the faces of
their own species, they come to distinguish those
types of faces better than other types. For exam-
ple, adult monkeys are better able to distinguish
among monkey faces than among human faces.
Thus, humans are born with the innate potential
to recognize faces, but with experience their abil-
ity to recognize faces narrows and becomes spe-
cialized in recognizing the kinds of faces the
environment provides (usually the faces of con-
specifics), and they lose the ability to easily rec-
ognize types infrequently encountered (although,
with effort, that ability may be recaptured). In
sum, the innate face perception capabilities of
the human appear to interact with nurture (i.e.,
an individual’s experience with the environment)
just as it does in many other aspects of brain
development.
An early appearing preference for the familiar
over the strange has been shown in virtually all
primates (see Harlow & Mears, 1983). Thus, it
seems possible that present at birth are not only
neural sensitivities to the probable social envi-
ronment, including the faces of conspecifics, but
certain evaluative preferences with respect to
those frequently encountered stimuli as well. In-
fants only 2 or 3 months old display a preference
for physically attractive over unattractive faces
(e.g., Langlois et al., 1987). Even infants between
14 and 151 hours old have been found to prefer
(to look longer at) female faces that are attractive
as opposed to unattractive, as judged by adults
(Slater et al., 1998). Some evolutionary psychol-
ogists believe the ability to distinguish between
attractive and unattractive faces had, and may
still have, survival value. In addition, attractive
faces have been shown to be more representative
of the average of faces in the species (e.g., Lan-
glois & Roggman, 1990), as further discussed in
Chapter 6, “Birth of a Relationship.” In adults,
the perception of facially attractive people may
be tied into the fundamental “reward circuitry”
of the brain (Aharon et al., 2001); whether such a
connection is innate or learned is not known.
Empathic Accuracy
Because the face is the richest source of cues of
a person’s thoughts and emotional state
(Ekman & Davidson, 1994a), attention to an-
other ’s face is vital to empathic accuracy,
usually defined as the ability to decode the
meaning of another ’s behavior (Ickes, 1997).
Empathic accuracy is different from sympathy,
which refers to the experience of feeling
FIRST RELATIONSHIPS 21
another’s emotional state (see Berscheid & Reis,
1998). Empathic accuracy—knowing another’s
thoughts, feelings, and intentions—is, of
course, vital to survival.
Developmental psychologists have long been
interested in the development of a person’s abil-
ity to perceive and understand another’s
thoughts and emotions. The age at which the in-
fant can recognize and discriminate among dif-
ferent facial expressions, including those that
express emotional states, is a matter of current
investigation and controversy (see Eisenberg,
Murphy, & Shepard, 1997). Some investigators
have shown that even 10-week-old infants dif-
ferentially respond to their mothers’ sad, happy,
and angry expressions (see Eisenberg et al., p. 79).
Others have shown that at 4 months of age, in-
fants smile more at smiling faces than nonsmil-
ing faces (Oster, Daily, & Goldenthal, 1989). By 10
months of age, infants’ tendency to smile appears
to be at least partially dependent on whether a
human audience is present to observe the smile
(Scanlon-Jones, Collins, & Hong, 1991). By the
end of their first year of life, infants can decode
emotional information and adjust their behavior
in accord with an adult’s facial expression (e.g.,
Klinnert, 1984). In sum, the evidence suggests
that even very young children possess some de-
gree of empathic accuracy.
Females, however, may be more skilled in
empathic accuracy than males. McClure (2000)
concludes from a meta-analysis of studies ex-
amining sex differences in facial expression pro-
cessing that there is a female advantage from
infancy through adolescence, with maturational
neurological factors playing an important early
role and socialization factors subsequently
maintaining and even amplifying the initial sex
difference. With respect to socialization factors,
there is a large body of evidence suggesting that
boys and girls receive different types and
amounts of information from adults about emo-
tions and emotional expression. Klein and
Hodges (2001), however, conclude that sex dif-
ferences in empathic accuracy may be the result
of motivational differences rather than ability.
They found the usual female advantage when
their participants had no special incentive to
22 CHAPTER 1
perform the empathic accuracy task, but this
difference evaporated when participants were
offered payments in exchange for accuracy. The
authors conclude that men and women may
have similar empathic accuracy ability, but
women generally are more motivated to use it.
Additional research on sex differences in em-
pathic accuracy is discussed in Chapter 10, “Dis-
positional Influences.”
The predisposition to be attentive to faces of
conspecifics and to accurately interpret the cues
seen therein is facilitative of smooth, coordinat-
ed social interaction, which is associated with re-
lationship satisfaction, as discussed in Chapter 13,
“Satisfaction and Stability.” We spend much time
in social interaction seeking and decoding cues to
our partner’s thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and in-
tentions, and we usually perform this feat easi-
ly and quickly, often unconsciously. The critical
role that empathic understanding of others’ emo-
tions and thoughts plays in interaction can be
appreciated when we consider the social
interactions of children who manifest the
neurological disorder of autism. Autistic children
do not possess the empathic skills most of us take
for granted. As Simon Baron-Cohen (1995) put it
in his book Mindblindness, autistic children are
oblivious to the minds of other people. They can-
not “read” another person’s nonverbal behav-
iors—a tone of voice, for example, or a raised
eyebrow that signal the other’s sentiments and
emotional state—and so they often cannot dis-
tinguish another person’s joke from a threat and
are prey to many other misunderstandings in so-
cial interaction. Needless to say, the frustration
experienced by the parents of these infants is
enormous. Autism usually is diagnosed by the
age of 2 or 3 when parents despair over their
child’s failure to be responsive to them and to
others. Autism is an extreme case of a lack of em-
pathic accuracy.
Ickes and his colleagues regard empathic ac-
curacy as the basis of an evolved general affilia-
tive phenomenon that is characteristic of all
creatures (e.g., Ickes, 1997; Ickes, Buysse et al.,
2000). Buck and Ginsberg (1997), in fact, believe
that empathy involves “a biologically based,
spontaneous communication process that is fun-
damental to all living things” (p. 17). Thus, some
theorists believe that spontaneous communica-
tion between individuals, especially emotional
communication, is innately determined and fun-
damental to life, for it allows people to coordi-
nate their activities for their mutual benefit and
facilitates bonding with others.
Many studies have shown that people differ
from each other in their degree of empathic ac-
curacy, and a single individual may show dif-
ferent levels of empathic accuracy at different
times over the life span. An example of the lat-
ter, and its consequences for social interaction, is
provided by a biographical account of novelist
F. Scott Fitzgerald, author of The Great Gatsby,
and his interactions with his longtime friends
Sara Murphy and Ernest Hemingway, both of
whom felt that Fitzgerald had become so
wrapped up in himself that he could no longer
understand even those closest to him. Frustrat-
ed with Fitzgerald’s behavior, Sara tried to warn
Fitzgerald of the damaging effects of his lack of
empathic accuracy: “I feel obliged in the hon-
esty of a friend to write you: that the ability to
know what another person feels in a given situ-
ation will make—or ruin—lives” (Tomkins,
1971/1998, p. 129). She was correct.
The study of empathic accuracy has had a tor-
tured history in psychology (see Ickes, 1997;
Kenny, 1994a), but newly developed techniques
are helping to surmount methodological obsta-
cles. One such technique is the dyadic interac-
tion procedure, developed by Ickes and his
associates (e.g., Ickes, Bissonnette, Garcia, & Stin-
son, 1990). First, participants view a videotape
of their spontaneous interaction with another
person and stop the tape when they recall having
had a specific thought or feeling. Then the video-
tape is replayed for their interaction partner and
stopped at each point at which the individual re-
ported having had a specific thought or feeling,
and the partner reports what he or she believes
the individual was thinking or feeling at that
point in their interaction.
Although the identification of the character-
istics of people who possess empathic accuracy
has been the aim of much empathic accuracy re-
search, researchers have come up mostly empty-
handed. Davis and Kraus (1997) performed a
meta-analysis of the many studies that have ex-
amined the associations between myriad indi-
vidual difference variables and empathic
accuracy but found only intelligence and a few
other related characteristics to be associated with
this important skill. To explore why replicable
individual-difference correlates of empathic ac-
curacy are so hard to identify, Ickes and his col-
leagues (2000) used a research design they
believed to be optimal for uncovering such dif-
ferences but found only one “best candidate” for
a predictor of empathic accuracy: verbal intelli-
gence. These investigators warn that it remains to
be seen whether even this finding will survive
tests of replicability.
Language
Another innate and uniquely social predisposi-
tion may be the human’s ability to use language
to communicate to others. Use of language long
has been regarded as the feature that most dis-
tinguishes the human from other animals, in-
cluding our close primate relatives. It also is
regarded as especially social—we speak to com-
municate to other humans, not to inanimate ob-
jects. The noted linquist Noam Chomsky (e.g.,
1965) proposed that humans are born with an
innate language-acquisition device. Although
Chomsky’s theory that the infant is born with a
wealth of innate knowledge that facilitates the
acquisition of language remains controversial,
his views continue to frame debate and research
in the field of language acquisition (see Ritchie
& Bhatia, 1999). At present, a great deal of evi-
dence favors his assertion that the human brain
is prewired to acquire language, at least within
an early sensitive period (see Pinker, 1994). For
example, Elbert, Heim, and Rockstroh (2001)
conclude from their review of the literature,
“There is compelling evidence that neonates,
and even fetuses, are endowed with a remark-
able sensitivity to phonetic units used in human
speech” (p. 196); and DeCasper and Spence
(1986) demonstrated that newborns are able to
differentiate prose passages they heard in the
womb during their last 6 prenatal weeks from
novel passages. Some language researchers have
FIRST RELATIONSHIPS 23
speculated that there is an early “sensitive pe-
riod” during which phoneme discrimination is
learned easily; at 6 months infants can discrim-
inate sounds of nearly all languages, but, as is
true of face perception, they seem to become
specialized in discriminating the sounds of their
native language—the sounds their environment
most frequently provides them to hear—and
lose the ability to easily discriminate other
sounds. As a consequence, another language
usually can be acquired in later life only with
considerable effort.
SOCIAL INTERACTION
AND BRAIN DEVELOPMENT
Interest in identifying the human’s innate re-
sponse systems has intensified in recent years
as a result of the emergence in the 1990s of the
field of developmental neuroscience (see
Nelson & Luciana, 2001), which examines the
neurobiological structures and processes un-
derlying behavioral development by using
techniques such as functional magnetic reso-
nance imaging (fMRI) to study human brain
activity in response to controlled stimuli. De-
velopmental neuroscientists already have shat-
tered two long-held beliefs. First, it was
believed that brain development was wholly
a function of genetically determined rules and
programs invulnerable to environmental in-
fluence. Second, it was believed that the human
brain is fully developed at birth. The evidence
now indicates that human infants are born with
almost all the brain neurons they will ever
have; the brain grows larger because the neu-
rons increase in size and the connections, or
synapses, between them increase in number.
However, the way these neurons are struc-
turally organized is not set out in a biological
blueprint. Moreover, research findings suggest
that neural connections in the brain elaborate
themselves after birth from a rudimentary pat-
tern of wiring that only slightly approximates
the adult pattern (Shatz, 1992) and that neural
plasticity, the ability of the brain to alter its
functional organization, is very high after birth
24 CHAPTER 1
and thus responsive to the infant’s social and
emotional experiences (see Elbert et al., 2001).
Early in its development the brain appears
to overproduce neural connections that are sub-
sequently reduced in number through disuse.
Which connections are retained and which elim-
inated appears to depend on early stimulation
from the infant’s social and physical environ-
ment, leading to the cultivation of some neural
synapses and the “pruning” of others (see
Thompson & Nelson, 2001). Greenough and his
colleagues (e.g., Black, Jones, Nelson, & Gree-
nough, 1998; Greenough & Black, 1992) have
found suggestive evidence that the overpro-
duction of synapses is “in expectation of expe-
riences that will determine their selective
survival” (Greenough, Black, & Wallace, 1987,
p. 552). An “expected experience” is one that is
typical for the species—certain patterns of vi-
sual stimulation, for example, such as the faces
of conspecifics. If those expected experiences
with the physical and social environment do not
occur within a relatively restricted early peri-
od, the unused synapses will not participate in
the developing organization of the brain and
will disappear.
The nature and timing of early experiences that
are influential in shaping the brain’s neural ar-
chitecture are only now being identified, but it is
presumed that among the most important are
those associated with sensitive, nurturant, and
responsive care from people in the infant’s social
environment and that these key experiences must
occur during early periods of sensitivity to stim-
ulation (see M. H. Bornstein, 1989). Gunnar (2001)
has reviewed studies of the developmental effects
of an impoverished early social environment on
human infants, such as that experienced by many
children in orphanages. Even in settings in which
the child’s nutrition and other physical health
needs are met, and even when the environment
provides adequate social and physical stimula-
tion, it appears that the absence of stable rela-
tionships with consistent caregivers has profound
effects on human development. One such effect
may be shallowness of later relationships.
Further evidence of the importance of early
relationships comes from studies of “resilient”
children who are born and raised in poor envi-
ronments yet, despite being exposed to such
adversities as war, poverty, natural disasters,
and family violence, seem to develop normal-
ly and become competent adults nonetheless.
Masten and Coatsworth (1998), who review this
literature, report that the most widely docu-
mented predictors of a child’s resilience to ad-
versity are early relationships with caring,
prosocial adults and good intellectual func-
tioning—for example, good problem-solving
skills. They conclude, “Resilient children do not
appear to possess mysterious or unique quali-
ties; rather they have retained or secured im-
portant resources representing basic protective
systems in human development” (p. 212). In
other words, the same basic protective systems
found to be important to children living in or-
dinary circumstances also are important to chil-
dren who are not so fortunate and help them
overcome their adverse environments. For ex-
ample, proximity to the caregiver is a power-
ful predictor of a child’s response to its
exposure to the trauma of war or a natural dis-
aster (Garmezy & Masten, 1994).
In sum, there is growing evidence that the de-
velopment of the brain and other biological sys-
tems is a function of an interaction between the
infant’s biological inheritance and his or her so-
cial inheritance at birth. In interpreting this evi-
dence, most psychologists and neuroscientists take
an evolutionary point of view. For example, British
neuroscientist Colin Blakemore (1998) describes
how, before birth, the genes “rough out” the ar-
chitecture of the brain, and how, after birth, the
infant’s experience with his or her social and phys-
ical environment “fine tunes” that circuitry. Blake-
more comments, “The appearance, during
evolution, of mechanisms by which the strengths
of synaptic connections could be changed as a re-
sult of stimulation, so as to capture information
about the outside world and about individual ex-
periences, was surely one of the most important
and portentous steps in organic evolution” (p. 55).
That the brain an individual develops is the brain
the individual needs to survive in the environ-
ment he or she encounters was indeed a “porten-
tous” step in human evolution.
Nature vs. Nurture:
A False Dichotomy
It can be seen, as Blakemore and many others
emphasize, that the classical controversy of na-
ture versus nurture was wrongly framed and
now is in the process of being buried. Findings in
developmental neuroscience underscore that the
role of experience is neither opposed to, nor sep-
arate from, innate influences on the nature of the
developing brain and mind. Nature and nurture
interact with each other to influence brain de-
velopment and other outcomes; this position is
now taken by almost all developmental psy-
chologists (see Collins, Maccoby, Steinberg, Heth-
erington, & Bornstein, 2000).
An illustration of how nature and nurture may
interact to influence a developmental outcome
is provided by experiments conducted by Mine-
ka (e.g., 1987). Rhesus monkeys reared in the wild
are always afraid of snakes, but those reared in
the laboratory rarely are. When Mineka showed
lab-reared monkeys a videotape of a wild-reared
monkey exhibiting a fear response to a snake, the
lab monkeys developed an enduring fear of
snakes, but when Mineka showed the lab-reared
monkeys a videotape of a wild-reared monkey
exhibiting a fear response to a flower, the lab-
reared monkeys did not develop a fear response
to flowers. Reviewing similar studies conducted
both with nonhuman primates and humans,
British ethologist and relationship scholar Robert
Hinde (1998) concludes that “in both humans
and rhesus monkeys the fear response to snakes
appears to depend both on a relatively stable bi-
ological predisposition and on learning from ex-
perience” (p. 19). The operative word is “both.”
Why did the lab-reared monkeys who observed
another monkey exhibiting a fear response to a
snake (a social experience) subsequently devel-
op a snake phobia themselves? It couldn’t have
been their biological predisposition alone,
because they had never shown such fear before.
It couldn’t have been their social experience
alone, because they did not develop a fear of
flowers when their fellow monkey responded
with fear to a flower. Their snake phobia was the
result of an interaction between their biological
FIRST RELATIONSHIPS 25
heritage and their experience with their social
environment. The human’s fear of snakes, spi-
ders, and certain other stimuli is often explained
by an evolutionary “preparedness theory of pho-
bias” (Seligman, 1971). Because such stimuli were
dangerous to our ancestors, it is believed that
natural selection favored those persons who pos-
sessed an innate predisposition that prepared
them to learn very quickly to fear these stimuli,
sometimes after just a single learning trial.
The manner in which early social experiences
may modulate gene expression to influence fu-
ture social interactions also is illustrated by a
series of experiments conducted by Suomi (1987,
1999). Rhesus monkeys were selectively bred for
differences in temperamental reactivity (either
highly reactive or normally reactive) and after birth
were placed with foster mothers who varied in
the degree of nurturance they had exhibited with
their past offspring (either highly nurturant or
normally nurturant). During the period of cross-
fostering, the normally reactive infants displayed
normal patterns of development regardless of
whether their foster mother was highly or nor-
mally nurturant. In contrast, the mother’s degree
of nurturance clearly influenced the development
of highly reactive infants. Highly reactive infants
raised by normally nurturant foster mothers
showed deficits in early exploration and strong
responses to minor environmental disruptions.
Those raised by highly nurturant mothers, how-
ever, not only explored their environment more
and displayed fewer behavioral disturbances
than their normally nurtured counterparts but
also displayed more exploration and fewer be-
havioral disturbances than did the normally re-
active infants. Moreover, when the highly reactive
monkeys reared by highly nurturant mothers
were moved into larger social groups at age 6
months, they tended to rise to the top of their
groups’ dominance hierarchies, whereas their bi-
ologically highly reactive counterparts who had
been raised by less (that is, normally) nurturant
mothers tended to drop to the bottom of their
groups’ social hierarchies. Thus, the infants’ bi-
ological inheritance of differential temperament
interacted with their social inheritance of a nor-
mally or highly nurturant foster mother to in-
26 CHAPTER 1
fluence the infants’ behavior not only during the
period they were with their mother but also in
their later social interactions.
The biologically highly reactive monkeys
who were placed with highly nurturant moth-
ers were gifted with a rich social inheritance.
Their counterparts were not so fortunate, nor
are many human infants, as we have noted. Al-
though maltreatment of a child is known to
greatly increase that individual’s risk of later
criminality (by about 50%), most maltreated
children do not become criminals. Caspi and
colleagues (2002) wondered why some mal-
treated children later become violent but others
do not. They hypothesized that a deficiency in
the action of a gene that helps govern brain neu-
rotransmitter systems interacts with maltreat-
ment to influence later tendencies toward
violence. The longitudinal records of men who
had been followed from birth to adulthood were
examined, and those who had been beaten, mo-
lested, or otherwise maltreated in childhood and
those who had not were identified and their
genotypes obtained. As other studies have
found, men who were abused as children were
significantly more violent than those who had
not been abused. However, those who had been
maltreated as children and who also possessed
the deficiency genotype were, as adolescents,
twice as likely to have been diagnosed with con-
duct disorder and convicted of violent crimes,
and to exhibit other symptoms of antisocial per-
sonality, than those who also had been mal-
treated but who did not have the deficiency.
Moreover, those who possessed the deficiency
genotype but had not been maltreated were no
more likely to be violent than those who did not
have it, thus providing evidence of a gene–en-
vironment interaction. Along with the many
studies that have identified gene–environment
interactions with nonhuman animals (see Rut-
ter & Silberg, 2002), Caspi and associates’ find-
ings suggest that there may be many genetically
influenced individual differences among hu-
mans in sensitivity to specific features of the so-
cial environment, such as abuse.
Some psychologists currently are attempting
to construct theoretical frameworks within which
to view the impact of early social relationships
on brain development. Siegel (1999), for exam-
ple, reviews a great deal of neurobiological and
psychological evidence in support of his thesis
that the human “mind” (which he views as
emerging from the activity of brain neurons) de-
velops at the interface of neurophysiological
processes and interpersonal relationships. In ac-
cord with Hebb’s (1949) maxim that “neurons
that fire together wire together,” Siegel, like
Blakemore and others, argues, “Experience—the
activation of specific neural pathways . . . directly
shapes gene expression and leads to the mainte-
nance, creation, and strengthening of the con-
nections that form the neural substrate of the
mind” (p. 14). The primary source of the infant’s
early experience is its interpersonal relationships,
especially those with its caregivers. Evidence is
accumulating that the infant’s experiences in
early relationships interact with gene expression
in shaping neurological circuits within the major
structures of the brain (see Suomi, 1999).
Other information about the ways in which
early relationships affect developmental out-
comes has come from investigations of the asso-
ciation between early relationships and later
reactions to stressful events. These studies were
generated by findings that infant rat pups who
were handled early by humans subsequently
showed less reactivity to stressful situations than
did pups who were not handled (e.g., Meaney et
al., 1985). Subsequent studies showed that rat
pups who received highly nurturant and sensi-
tive care by their mothers (e.g., much licking and
grooming) later exhibited less severe stress reac-
tions than those raised by less nurturant mothers
(e.g., Liu et al., 1997). Moreover, contact with a re-
sponsive mother has been found to reduce stress
reactivity in nonhuman primate infants as well
(e.g., Levine & Wiener, 1988). Strong neurohor-
monal reactions to stress, partially evidenced in
humans by the release of high levels of cortisol,
are believed to adversely affect brain develop-
ment and function.
Gunnar (e.g., 2000) and her associates, who
have examined the association between cortisol
reactivity to stress and the infant’s security of at-
tachment, find that infants in secure attachment
relationships show less evidence of a neurohor-
monal stress response when exposed to stressful
situations than do insecurely attached infants.
For example, a study of infants whose tempera-
ments were such that they displayed high wari-
ness and fear of strange events revealed that
those who were securely attached to the parent
who was present during exposure to a stressful
event (e.g., a clown asking them to play) did not
exhibit cortisol elevation, but those who were in-
securely attached did show significant cortisol
increases (Nachmias, Gunnar, Mangelsdorf, Par-
ritz, & Buss, 1996). In sum, evidence is accumu-
lating that early treatment by caregivers may
“program” neurological systems associated with
emotional experience and regulation.
The Infant’s Contributions
to Relationship Initiation
and Maintenance
Relationships are not one-way streets. Both part-
ners must participate in interaction for a rela-
tionship to be established and maintained, as
discussed in Chapter 6, “Birth of a Relationship,”
and Chapter 7, “Relationship Growth and Main-
tenance.” Although the caregiver or other adult
usually is responsible for initiating and main-
taining a relationship with a child, even very
young infants are prepared to play an active role
in relationship initiation and maintenance.
Tronick, Als, Adamson, Wise, and Brazelton
(1978) systematically examined infants’ contri-
butions to their interactions with their mothers in
a standardized situation. They describe a normal
interaction between a 2-month-old infant and his
mother:
Baby [seated in a highchair in the laboratory] is look-
ing off to side where mother will come in. He sits
completely quiet, back in his baby seat, face serious,
cheeks droopy, mouth half open, corners down, but
there is an expectant look in his eyes as if he were
waiting. His face and hands reach out in the same di-
rection. As his mother comes in, saying “Hello” . . .
he follows her with his head and eyes as she ap-
proaches him. His body builds up with tension, his
face and eyes open up with a real greeting which
FIRST RELATIONSHIPS 27
 ends with a smile. His mouth opens wide and his
whole body orients toward her. He subsides, mouths
his tongue twice, his smile dies, and he looks down
briefly, while she continues to talk in an increasing-
ly eliciting voice. . . . He looks up again, smiles wide-
ly, narrows his eyes, brings one hand up to his
mouth, grunting, vocalizing, and begins to cycle his
arms and legs out toward her. (p. 5)
After a period of play and reciprocal responsiv-
ity, the mother
loses her broad smile, gets up to leave, letting his
legs [which she had been holding] go. At this he
looks beseechingly up into her face, his mouth turns
down, his eyebrows arch, his legs and arms quiet,
and he follows her with his eyes and head as she
moves away. (p. 7)
This normal pattern of interaction is in contrast
to what is observed when the mother has been in-
structed to enter the room and maintain an im-
passive and unresponsive face:
The infant is looking contemplatively down at his
hands, fingering the fingers of one hand with the
other. As the mother enters, his hand movements
stop. He looks up at her, makes eye-to-eye contact
and smiles. Her masklike face does not change. He
looks away quickly to one side and remains quiet,
his facial expression serious. He remains this way for
20 seconds. Then he looks back at her face, his eye-
brows and lids raised, his hands and arms startling
slightly out toward her. He quickly looks down at
his hand, stills for 8 seconds, and then checks her face
once more. This look is cut short by a yawn, with his
eyes and face turning upward. His fingers pull at the
fingers of his other hand, the rest of his body is mo-
tionless. The yawn and neck stretches last 5 seconds.
He throws out one arm in a slight startle and looks
briefly at her face. Arm movements are jerky, his
mouth curves downward, his eyes narrow and par-
tially lid. He turns his face to the side, but he keeps
his mother in peripheral vision. He fingers his hand
again, his legs stretch toward her and rapidly jerk
back again. He arches forward, slumps over, tucks
his chin down on one shoulder, but he looks up at
her face from under his lowered eyebrows. This po-
sition last for over a minute, with brief checking looks
at the mother occurring almost every 10 seconds. He
grimaces briefly and his facial expression becomes
more serious, his eyebrows furrowing. Finally, he
28 CHAPTER 1
completely withdraws, his body curled over, his head
down. He does not look again at his mother. . . . He
looks wary, helpless, and withdrawn. As the moth-
er exits at the end of the 3 minutes, he looks halfway
up in her direction, but his sober facial expression
and his curled body position do not change. (pp. 7–8)1
This infant tried to engage his mother in inter-
action but failed. He failed, in this case, because
the mother was following the experimenter’s in-
struction. In naturalistic situations, the baby may
fail because the mother is tired, busy, distracted,
ill, absent, or otherwise unable to respond to—or
perhaps even notice—her baby’s invitation to in-
teract. Social interaction, it is becoming evident,
is necessary to the optimal development of the
baby’s brain.
IMPLICATIONS FOR SOCIETY
An improved understanding of the develop-
mental significance of the child’s social relation-
ships, both with adults and peers, is considered
by many to be one of the most significant ad-
vances psychology has made over the past quar-
ter century (Hartup, 1989; see Hartup & Laursen,
1999). Findings pointing to the importance of
early relationships, and of providing infants with
adequate experience and stimulation and a safe,
secure, and supportive environment as the brain
and other structures develop after birth, have
many implications for society. In his review of
the many relevant findings, Rosenzweig (1996)
quotes an early report issued by the Carnegie
Task Force on Meeting the Needs of Young
Children:
Beginning in the 1960s, scientists began to demon-
strate that the quality and variety of the environ-
ment have direct impact on brain development.
Today, researchers around the world are amass-
ing evidence that the role of the environment is
even more important than earlier studies had sug-
gested. . . . Studies of children raised in poor
environments—both in this country and else-
where—show that they have cognitive deficits of
substantial magnitude by eighteen months of age
and that full reversal of these deficits may not be
possible. (p. 22)
 Researchers have continued to investigate the
effects of a poor social inheritance, including the
ways in which it interacts with the child’s bio-
logical inheritance. Repetti, Taylor, and Seeman
(2002) review the wealth of evidence that “risky
families”—families characterized by conflict,
anger, and aggression and by cold and unsup-
portive relationships that are neglectful of a child’s
needs—are associated with children’s poor men-
tal and physical health. These theorists present a
model that outlines how risky families may cre-
ate early vulnerabilities and deficits in the child’s
control and expression of emotions and in social
competence (Figure 1.12). The model outlines how
the effects of these early deficits may cascade
through early childhood to produce and exacer-
bate other of the child’s deficits and vulnerabili-
ties, such that the risk for adverse health outcomes

Risky Families

Family Social Context Genetic Factors

Risky Family Social Environment

Conflict and Aggression

Cold, Unsupportive, and Neglectful Home

Effects first
observed:

Stress-Responsive Emotion Processing

Infancy Biological Regulatory
Systems

Preschool and
Early
Social Competence
Childhood

Adolescence
Risky Health Behaviors
(substance abuse, risky sexual
behavior)

Adolescence
and Mental Health and Physical Health Problems
Adulthood

FIGURE 1.12 The risky families model. Reprinted from Repetti, Taylor, & Seeman, “Risky Families” (2000),
Fig. 1, p. 331.

FIRST RELATIONSHIPS 29
accumulates through adolescence and adulthood.
In accord with mounting evidence, the model
highlights the role of early disturbances in bio-
logical systems involved in reactions to stress. It
also includes the influence of the poor physical
and social environments (poverty, high-crime
neighborhoods, inadequate medical care) in
which risky families are often embedded and that
contribute to the chronically high stress levels
family members often experience. It includes, too,
the influence of genetic factors, which themselves
may be associated with a variety of the child’s
deficits but which may subsequently interact with
the child’s immediate family environment and
with the larger environmental factors surround-
ing the child and the family to increase the child’s
vulnerability to adverse outcomes.
Apart from the individual tragedy that each
child who fails to receive adequate care repre-
sents, all members of society ultimately pay a
high price for each failure. This is why govern-
ments in virtually all societies attempt to regulate
behavior in close relationships, usually family
relationships (but with varying success, as dis-
cussed in Chapter 5, “Varieties of Relationship”).
Findings documenting the importance of the
human’s early social experiences in development
have implications not only for society but for every
man and woman who is, or plans to be, a parent.
Prospective and new parents today do not have the
luxury of ignorance that parents in the past had
about the consequences of their parenting practices
for the welfare of their children. Knowledge about
the importance of early relationships to a child’s
development has become available only in the past
few decades. As a result, educated persons who be-
come parents now bear both the burden and the
blessing of knowing the possible consequences of
their failure to provide the conditions necessary to
their child’s optimal development.
30 CHAPTER 1
Finally, the evidence that the human is truly a
social animal—that our biological systems, in-
cluding our brain, are wired in such a way as to
facilitate the formation and maintenance of rela-
tionships with others of the species—has impli-
cations for the discipline of psychology. A body of
knowledge about the behavior of fish would be
incomplete at best without reference to the water
in which fish evolved, are born, live, and die.
Likewise, a science devoted to understanding and
predicting the behavior of an animal that evolved,
is conceived and born, develops, lives, and dies
within relationships with others must recognize
and incorporate the influence of the human’s re-
lationship web (see Kelley, 1983/2002a; Reis,
Collins, & Berscheid, 2000).
SUMMARY
From the time of our entry into the world at birth, we
live our lives enmeshed in a complex web of inter-
personal relationships. Not only are human infants
born into an existing interpersonal reality (their social
inheritance), but they also come bearing an extraordi-
nary array of biological gifts that allow them to de-
velop and sustain relationships with others in the social
world. The innate need to belong impels each of us to
form and maintain lasting interpersonal relationships;
the face perceptual system enables us to attend and
respond to the human face; empathic accuracy allows
us to accurately decipher emotional and behavioral
cues from other social objects; language allows us to
communicate with our species and our partners; and
the attachment and caregiving systems predispose us
to quickly form strong bonds to important others and
to engage in behaviors which promote close proxim-
ity. These biological propensities promote social con-
nectedness and enhance health and well-being in
infancy, and they continue to play an important role in
the development and maintenance of relationships as
they unfold across the life span.
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