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LIFE SKILLS

Life skills can be defined as abilities that enable humans to deal effectively with the demands and challenges of
life. They may also be called psychosocial skills, as they are psychological in nature and include thinking and
behavioral processes. Others define life skills as behavioral, cognitive, or interpersonal skills that enable
individuals to succeed in various areas of life (Hodge, Danish, & Martin, 2013).

To clarify, life skills are often broken down into three types (Prajapati, Sharma, & Sharma, 2017):
Thinking skills: This might involve being able to think of multiple solutions to a problem or develop new
innovations in a creative way.
Social skills: This might involve knowing how to develop healthy relationships, how to communicate in effective
ways, and how to interact with others successfully.
Emotional skills: This might involve being comfortable in your own skin, dealing with emotions effectively, and
knowing who you are.
Life skills are abilities and behaviors that help you effectively deal with the events andchallenges of everyday life.

CATEGORIES (Can be used as examples of Life Skills Examples)

Knowledge of oneself or self-awareness. On the basis of their self awareness, (awareness of what they can and
cannot do) young people build their self-esteem and self-confidence. On this too they build their assertiveness or
ability to respond confidently to any situation. Finally, self-knowledge leads to self control so that peoplecan cope
with their emotions and stress.

Development of one’s interpersonal relationships with the people around one, familyand friends, peers, people in
authority and adults. This is done in two ways.
Positively through friendship formation and adjustment to society in which they live. It also involves empathy or
putting oneself in the shoes of other people in order to understand them andlive happily with them.

On the other side of the coin, interpersonal relations also require the ability to resist unhealthypressures from adults
or peers, to negotiate one’s way through difficult life situations both in interpersonal relationships and in work
situations, and, where necessary, to advocate for change in the most effective manner.

These relationships are dependent on effective communication which is also required for conflictresolution and
management.
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Knowledge of oneself and interpersonal relationships must be based on the developmentof creative and critical
thinking in order to be able to confront the challenges of life and make appropriate decisions on what to do and
how to solve problems. Thus, whether to resist or negotiate, how to assert oneself in different situations, even how
to cope with one’s emotions and stress depend on one’s ability to think critically and creatively.

According to several key organizations including UNICEF, UNESCO, and WHO, the following are the basic life
skills (Prajapati, Sharma, & Sharma, 2017):
a) Self-awareness
b) Critical thinking
c) Creative thinking
d) Decision making
e) Problem Solving
f) Effective communication
g) Interpersonal relationships
h) Empathy
i) Coping with stress
j) Coping with emotion
Of course, these skills overlap, with each of them aiding and supporting the others. There may also be other life
skills and there may be subcategories of life skills within each of these basic life skill types.
Self-awareness
Self-awareness is conscious attention directed towards the self (Wicklund, 1975). To cultivate self-awareness, we
may engage in reflection or introspection. When we have this life skill, we often find ourselves pondering why we
are the way we are or why we do the things we do.
Critical thinking
Critical thinking can be defined as reflective thinking that focuses on deciding what to believe or do. It may
involve organizing facts, analyzing ideas, and evaluating arguments. Overall, having this life skill means we use
disciplined thinking to make the best judgments we can and take actions that make the most sense given these
judgments (Huitt, 1998).
Creative thinking
Creativity involves the ability to understand a problem and also to redefine it, transform thoughts, reinterpret
information, and ignore existing boundaries to find new solutions (Kim, 2006). Creative thinking involves fluency,
originality, and elaboration.
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Fluency is the number of relevant ideas that you can come up with. Originally is the number of rare or infrequent
ideas you come up with. Elaboration is the number of added ideas you can come up with to build on existing ideas.
This life skill may also include ‘resistance to closure’—or in other words, keeping an open mind (Kim, 2006).
Decision making
Decision making can be defined as identifying and choosing from alternatives. Our decision making process
depends on our values, beliefs, goals, etc… This life skill involves tasks such as defining a problem, determining
the requirements of an effective solution, establishing the goals of the decision, and identifying alternatives (Fülöp,
2005).
Problem Solving
Problem solving may be defined as a thinking process where we use our knowledge, skills, and understanding to
manage an unfamiliar situation. But keep in mind that problem solving is not like an algorithm. A problem simple
enough to be solved with a series of “IF-THEN” statements (as is done in an algorithm) has no need for the life
skill of problem solving. When it comes to the human mind, it is capable of much more complex problem solving (
Carson, 2007).
Effective communication
Communication might be defined as the act of disclosing, unmasking, or explaining something in detail (Rowan,
2003). Researchers suggest that we can improve our communication in four ways:
§ Use common, everyday words
§ Use “you” and other pronouns
§ Use the active voice
§ And use short sentences
This life skill also involves achieving a goal with our communication. For example, we might wish to inform,
persuade, or communicate assertively (Rowan, 2003).
Interpersonal relationships
To have successful, healthy relationships, we need a variety of social skills. These life skills might include things
like sensitivity to nonverbal cues, low fear of rejection, and the ability to easily adapt when moving from one social
situation to the next (Riggio, 1986).
Empathy
Empathy refers to our ability to understand and share the feelings of another. When you are empathetic, you put
yourself in another person’s shoes, make an effort to see the world from their perspective, and feel the emotions
that they feel.
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Coping with stress

Our ability to have resiliency in the face of stress is another key life skill. This might involve developing healthy
coping skills, engaging in stress management strategies, and using self-care.
Coping with emotion
Coping with our emotions—for example by tolerating distress and regulating emotions—is another type of life
skill. This is especially important for our well-being but skills of this type also have important impacts on our
relationships.
Other Important Life Skills
There are many other important life skills that fall within the larger life skill categories and that are key to well-
being. They include the following:
§ Managing anger issues
§ Setting goals
§ Having a positive mindset
§ Knowing your worth
§ Self-actualization
§ Self-confidence
§ Having good habits
§ Taking effective action
§ Setting the right priorities
§ Self-soothing
§ Optimism
§ Acceptance (non-judgement) of others
§ Ability to let go of the past
§ Knowing who you are
§ Knowing your strengths and weaknesses
§ Being thankful
§ Knowing your core values
§ Achieving flow
§ Knowing how to generate positive emotions
§ Being self-determined
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§ Being compassionate
§ Knowing how to calm down
§ Practicing kindness
§ Self-motivation
§ Practicing self-disclosure
§ Emotional intelligence
§ Being self-compassionate
§ Expressing rather than suppressing your emotions
§ Loving yourself
§ Living without regrets

BENEFITS OF LIFE SKILLS TO THE SOCIETY

Research suggests that developing life skills may help reduce drug, alcohol, and tobacco use. It may also reduce
aggression and violence (Botvin & Griffin, 2004). In addition to these bigger outcomes, life skills can just make
life a bit easier. When we can regulate our emotions effectively and develop enduring, supportive relationships,
we’re happier and healthier. This is why developing life skills is key not only to being successful in life, it’s key
for our health and well-being.

Building Relationships
The personal and professional relationships students build need constant attention. All relationships come with
unique challenges, after all. Learning how to handle them fosters relationships that are healthy and beneficial.
Skills include:
a) Collaboration skills
b) Communication skills
c) Listening skills
d) Giving/accepting feedback
e) Conflict resolution
f) Self management
g) Stress management
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Financial Literacy
Managing money is a skill that any student leaving school must have. It's not often given much attention, however.
A study done in 2012 indicated that only about 17% of teens know how to handle money. Another study performed
around the same time indicated that financial literacy was an area of interest for over 80% of teens in high school.
So the interest in it is definitely there.
Skills include:
§ Saving and investing
§ Tax preparation skills
§ Keeping good financial records
§ Budgeting
§ Banking
§ Credit knowledge

Renter’s rights and responsibilities

Any renter knows about the things that can go wrong with apartments. It's crucial for any student renting their first
apartment to be fully aware of their rights and responsibilities. Inthis case, knowledge is protection.
Skills Include:
§ Familiarity with applicable landlord/tenancy guidelines
§ How to properly inspect an apartment
§ Emergency procedures
§ Legal protection/obligations as a renter
§ Shopping for and buying renter's insurance
§ Furnishing an apartment on a budget

Basic Home Skills

Not everybody loves cooking, cleaning, and maintenance. Nevertheless, they are good things to learn and practice.
Not only can they keep you and your family healthy, they can also save you money. This extends into the essentials
of home ownership, both a tremendous responsibility anda noteworthy accomplishment.
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Skills include:
§ Cooking and cleaning
§ Household maintenance and upkeep
§ Lot maintenance/gardening
§ Legal/financial obligations to home owning

Social Skills
Unless you're a recluse, you know much of our lives are spent interacting with others. Doing thiseffectively means
being able to talk to and relate to others, especially in times of conflict or emergency.
Skills include:
§ Respecting people’s boundaries and protecting your own
§ Conversational skills
§ Self-esteem and confidence
§ Awareness of body language and other non-verbal communication
§ Taking care of yourself and others in public places
§ Interacting with authority figures like police/emergency personnel, etc.

Job Hunting Skills/ Entrepreneurial Skills

No life literacy skills list would be complete without mentioning this one. That's because chancesare students will
be using them a lot. It's not uncommon to see career changes happen at least 5– 6 times in the average person's life.
According to Workopolis, 51% of people stay with their jobs for no more than 2 years. In addition, only 30% of
people stay in a job for over 4 years. The working world is changing fast.Make sure students can keep up with the
trends.
Skills include:
§ Goal setting
§ Sourcing job opportunities
§ Communication skills
§ Interview skills
§ Social media skills
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LIVING VALUES AND OUR LIVES

Values are the principles and beliefs that influence the behaviour and way of life of a group of people or
community.
The things, ideas beliefs and principles that are of worth to a person shapes his or her values. A person’s values
help to define who he/she is and help determine the choices he/she makes.
Living values provide principles and tools for development of the whole person recognising that the individual is
comprised of the physical, intellectual, social emotional and spiritual dimension.
Life Skills Education is best enhanced by living values. Therefore it is important for the teacher to understand and
apply Living values so as to enhance acquisition of life skills.
The Core Living Values
a. Cooperation
b. Freedom
c. Happiness
d. Honesty
e. Tolerance
f. Unity
g. Peace
h. Respect
i. Responsibility
j. Simplicity
k. Humility
l. Love
LOVE : Where there is love, there is a world. Love looks on all with a vision of equality Love is all giving without
any thought of a return A heart that has love is able to accommodate The whole universe and still has space for
more. Selfless love is truly unlimited; It forgets and forgives the weakness And sees only beauty and specialities in
everyone
HONESTY : Speak with honesty and you will get a chance to learn. The one who is honest will speak about
themselves first, not about others. Others won’t get impressed by your words. Or even by your face… But by your
honesty and truth To speak that which you think and to do that Which you speak is honesty.
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TOLERANCE : Where there is tolerance, You are able to remain quiet and happy inside. One who has tolerance
has the power to Accept and accommodate all situations. Only when you are contented internally can there be
tolerance When you are contenred, then just like a mother who has love for her child, There is no limit to tolerance.

SIMPLICITY: Simplicity is identifying and being comfortable with those elaborate circumstances which shape
our lives without worrying or making matters complicated. It requires facing any complexity with a plain and
simple mind Simplicity starts with the self and overflows to everything else around us. A life lived in simplicity is
a satisfying life Which inspires everyone yet possessed by one.
PEACE: Peace is the original quality of the self. In its purest form, peace is inner silence. It consists of positive
thoughts, pure feelings and good wishes To have peace you need patience When you are peaceful, you create an
atmosphere of peace, Peace in the world can only be realized When there is peace in the minds of man.
HAPPINESS : There is happiness when each moment is used in a worthwhile way. Happiness is such
nourishment that it can transform a person, from weak to powerful, it makes difficult things easy heavy things light
To remain happy and share happiness with others is the greatest act of charity No matter what happens, your
happiness should not be lost.
COOPERATION: It is based on faith, love, trust and understanding. It is not a bargaining game, in which one
person’s success is achieved at the expense of another’s Real cooperation takes place when there are good wishes
and pure feelings for each other. The highest cooperation is to partake of God’s task; And in return He will
cooperate with you forever.
HUMILITY: Humility is dedication to the extent that no acknowledgement is sought for the self. Humility allows
you to learn. There is great strength in humility It never holds on to anyone for support Everyone bows down to
those who bow down first. Humility is not subservience but greatness. It is visible when there is love Have love for
humility. It helps you to remain happy
RESPECT: True respect is valuing one’s Own existence and the existence of others. It is not connected to a
person’s role, Social position, nor his capacities or talents, It is the awareness that everyone has value; Everyone is
unique When there is respect, there is understanding, Giving and taking on basis of love. Only when you give
respect do you earn the respect of others.
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RESPONSIBILITY: The world’s a stage and we are all actors Each actor plays a unique part and He is
responsible for his own actions. Responsibility means playing our part Accurately no matter what the task may be
Each one of us has a huge part in creating a better world. Just respond to the abilities Within you and become
responsible.

FREEDOM: Freedom starts in the mind. Understanding the self is the key to freedom The more one understand
the self, the easier it is to be liberated from waste. Freedom means to be uninfluenced, Unaffected and to be at
peace with the self. True freedom is to experience the true essence of one’s being and that is peace.

UNITY: Unity is harmony within and amongst individuals. It is built from a shared vision For the common good.
Unity is appreciating the values of each Individual and their unique contributions. When there is the willingness
Within the self to accommodate others, unity blossoms When I take the first step to mend fences, others will also
change.

BENEFITS OF CORE LIVING VALUES

a) Values bring happiness in life
b) Values are the treasure of life, making humans wealthy and rich
c) A life filled with values is a life of self-respect and dignity • Values bring independence and freedom
d) They expand the capacity to be self-sufficient
e) They liberate one from external influences
f) They offer protection and those who get it are able to share with others
g) Values bring empowerment and remove weaknesses and defects
h) They open the heart and transform human nature so that life is filled with compassion and humility
i) Students also thrive in a value-based atmosphere in a positive, safe environment of mutual respect and care.
Where students are regarded as capable of learning to make socially conscious choices.
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TOPIC 2: SELF AWARENESS

Self Awareness Definition
Self awareness is the ability of an individual to understand oneself, one’s emotions, abilities, strengths and
weaknesses. This self awareness happens when an individual interacts with others and listens to comments made
about them.
As people get older they become increasingly conscious of who they are leading to development of self awareness.
The feedback received and the value judgment attachedto it leads one to self-image which can be positive or
negative.
Self image is a fundamental pillar of human personalities as one evaluates oneself, forms one’s self-esteem
according to mental pictures or images of one’s self. If one happens to see oneself as good, clever, successful,
likeable etc, one develops a positive self-esteem. On the other hand, if one will have largely received negative
feedback, sees one’s self as unlikeable and stupid, she/hewill develop a low self-esteem.
It should be noted that the environment play a big role in building of children’s self- esteem. Parents and teachers
play a significant role in building self-esteem in children.
Parents and teachers can help children or learners to develop high self-esteem by providing themwith positive
feedback.

Some of the things that could be postured to build a positive self-image include:-
§ Recognizing one’s weaknesses and seeking ways to improve.
§ Realizing that one is a special and unique creative.
§ Avoiding harsh self-criticism, being gentle to oneself.
§ Using failure as learning or starting point, as a challenge or opportunity for growth.
§ Complimenting oneself and others for successes achieved.
§ Celebrating or focusing on strengths and trying to build on them.
§ Being happy and confident with oneself.
§ Not blaming one self for the mistakes of others.

Maturity In emotions. Emotional maturity is manifested through control of emotions. Control of emotions is
important to us because it enable us:
a) Live at peace with ourselves and others.
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b) Not to cause harm to ourselves or other people. For example lack of control of one’s joy /happiness could
be a nuisance to other people through uncontrolled laugher or shouting. On the other hand, uncontrolled
sorrow can lead one to depression.
c) Seeking guidance and counseling. For example when we are faced with disturbing issues, it is advisable to
seek for professional guidance and counseling. Another alternative for facing such a situation is seeking
help from people who have gone through a similar experience.
d) Exercising patience, for example we should not take action while we are stillangered. We should do after
cooling down.
e) Forgiving those who wrong us instead of becoming angry with them.
f) Praying to God to give us guidance to cope with the emotions.

INDiCATORS OF SELF AWARENESS

§ WISDOM
People with self-awareness understand the importance of knowing themselves. These people understand that you
can’t improve what you do not acknowledge, and you can’t align yourselfwith success if you don’t know where to
apply your skills.
§ HONESTY
They talk about themselves accurately. These people are able to accurately explain both their strengths and their
weaknesses. In other words, they do not tell the “fishing story.” You know, theone where the fish gets bigger and
bigger each time they tell the story. These people do not try tomake themselves sound better than they might be.
They also, however, do not sell themselves short.
§ HUMILITY
They are not self-focused. People who grasp their limitations and their impact understand that they need teammates
to be successful. They appreciate the value that other people add and knowwhich strengths they need on their team
to complement their own. They give other people the chance to be in the spotlight and celebrate their
achievements. A self-centered person does not make a good team player
§ CONFIDENCE
They want to hear it from you straight. These people are secure and confident in themselves. Rather than spending
their efforts in covering up mistakes or hiding weaknesses, they’ve alreadydone the self-evaluation to come to grips
with who they are and who they are not.
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§ PERSONAL VALUE
These are the general expression of what is most important for you. A value expresses the worth of something, and
in this case what you categorical like and dislike.
So they are like categories for all your preferences in life. Values are formed starting inearly childhood and are
later consciously re-evaluated and can therefore be changed. There are various various personal values such as:
§ Fulfillment
§ Inspiration
§ Contribution
§ Health
§ Family
§ Love
§ Creativity
§ Success
§ Truth
§ Integrity

SELF ASSESSMENT
It is the process of gathering information about yourself in order to make informal decision e.g., interests, values,
personality, skills and talents.
Self-assessment answers most of the questions about your personality, likes, strengths etc. such as;
a) What do you like or dislike about yourself?
b) What are your strengths and weaknesses?

CHALLENGES THAT HINDER ATTAINMENT OF LIFE’S GOALS.

A goal is an idea of the future that a person plans and commits to achieve. Every human desire to attain life goals
over a certain set period. The following are challenges that hinder one from attaining these life goals. Challenges
are demanding situations, problems or difficulties. They can be described as something hard to understand ,
accomplish ordeal with.
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Self-limiting dreams: Lack of personal ambition and cherished aspirations always poses a major challenge in
achieving life goals. What we believe in plays a great role in determining what the future holds for you, always
avoid limiting yourself and strive to achieve the be
Fear of Unknown: You may not know what will happen when your try but if you don’t try nothing is going to
happen. Sometimes there is false evidence that appears real convincing you not to try something on the basis that
you fail. It is ideal for you to ignore them as they may act as a hindrance to attaining your life goals.
Other people’s opinions: The opinions of others alter a basic mechanism of the human brain. When other people
have negative views about you it's affects your thought which may lead to a change of values. Opinions of other
people upon you impact in hindering life goals attainment
No vision: A vision is an ideal that never leaves you. Your vision provides you with revelation hope and foresight
to make your goals happen. Without a concrete vision, it is impossible to achieve desirable life goals
Lack of tenancy: Goals do not come cheaply and to achieve them, you have to do whatever it takes to accomplish
them. Being persistent in whatever you do helps in avoiding being hindered from the attainment of self goals
Others include:
§ Health problems
§ Poor time management
§ Poor career choices
§ Lack of communications skills
§ Poor grades etc.

STRATEGIES TO OVERCOME CHALLENGES THAT HINDER ATTAINMENT OF LIFE GOALS

Strategies to overcome challenges that hinder attainment of life goals is not difficult. Below are steps you can
follow to create one:
Identify your achievements in the past
Spend some time on thinking about six or seven recent successes. It helps to actually write these down as it
can help you identify themes that you find recurring. Were youmore successful in group activities or when
you had to contribute alone? Did you better in voluntary work or in a task that was assigned to you?
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Note down the values and principles that you want to cultivate
Your values basically reflect who you are as a person and what you stand for. For mostof us, it is not
important to just achieve a goal. It is equally important how we achieve that goal. Success achieved
through means that are not in sync with our core values will lead to internal conflict and losing our
peace of mind. So, as you set your goals, itis important to also think about those principles which you
do not want to compromise on. .
Write down the difference you can make to your family, company, world etc.
Note down how you can contribute to each of the following areas (Think of an ideal / scenario):
Family
Employer
Friends
Set yourself a BHAG (Big Hairy Audacious Goal)
BHAG is the abbreviation for Big Hairy Audacious Goal. It is a concept that was proposed by James Collins
and Jerry Porras in their popular book “Built to Last: Successful Habits of Visionary Companies”.
Prepare your mission statement
Once you set your vision, write the ‘how’ for that goal. Look at the first 4 steps andthink about what
sustainable actions you can take to realise your vision
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TOPIC THREE: SELF ESTEEM

Main objectives
a) Define self esteem
b) Signs of high self esteem in an individual
c) Signs of low esteem
d) Importance of high self esteem
e) Factors that enhance high and low self esteem
f) Effects of low self esteem
g) Values associated with high self esteem
h) Ways of boosting self esteem

DEFINITION OF TERMS
Self-esteem is a term used in psychology to reflect a person's overall emotional evaluation of his or her own
worth. It is a judgment of oneself as well as an attitude toward the self. Self-esteem encompasses beliefs. Self-
esteem is also known as the evaluative dimension of the self that includes feelings of worthiness, prides and
discouragement. One's self-esteem is also closely associated with self-conscious

Self-esteem is your overall opinion of yourself — how you honestly feel about your abilities and limitations.
When you have healthy self-esteem, you feel good about yourself and see yourself asdeserving the respect of
others. When you have low self-esteem, you put little value on your opinions and ideas. You might constantly
worry that you aren't "good enough."

SIGNS OF HIGH SELF-ESTEEM

Someone with high self-esteem generally feels good about their ability to participate, confidentin social
situations and happy with the way they are
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§ Confident. One believes that he can achieve good things and that He makes a positive contribution to his
environment and his relationships.
§ Sense of self-worth. One believes he am important anddeserve to be treated well and will look after
oneself as well.
§ Positive one generally thinks in a positive way. Encouraging and supporting others. One nurturesand
supports friends and family in everything they do, will not tolerate anyone who does not treat them well.
§ Good communication. A person with high esteem knows how to ask for the things they want and need,
and are also able to listen to others.
§ Participation. A person with high esteem joins in team activities or tries out a new hobby.Sometimes
will be good at them and other times I‘ll be dreadful – and that‘s ok.
§ Energetic. Self esteemed persons give exercise a go and try new things which involve physical activity
§ Ambitions. Have some ideas about the future and what they want to achieve such astravel and
work.
§ Learn from mistakes. High esteemed people make mistakes and that is ok. They try to seemistakes as an
opportunity to learn so they do the same thing again.

SIGNS OF LOW SELF-ESTEEM

A person with low self-esteem can be very critical of themselves – viewing themselves in a negative way, feeling
other people don‘t think highly of them and that they are not very good at things such as school or sport, or
interacting with friends and peers.
§ Insecure. This people don‘t feel important and don‘t think that people like them verymuch.
§ Shy they find it difficult to talk to people in social situations or even speak up in class orsimilar
situations. They find it hard to make direct eye contact with others too.
§ Over-sensitive People are ALWAYS criticizing them and the way they do things – bysaying things
or looking at them in certain ways. They can‘t do anything right.
§ Anxious. They tend to worry about a lot of things and feel anxious a lot of the time.
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§ Untrusting low esteemed people don‘t trust other people really – that includes theirfriends, family,
school-mates. They expect to be cheated and discounted by others.
§ Lacking confidence. This people have perception that they are not good at anything muchand they know
other people think that too.
§ Negative. They tend to see the glass half-empty rather than half-full.
§ Self-critical. They don‘t like the way they look, talk or behave. They never seem to beable to quite get
it together.
§ Unhappy. Low esteemed people often don‘t feel that satisfied or happy about what theydo with their
time, relationships or the future.
§ Hopeless. They feel pretty hopeless at just about everything.
§ Lonely they feel lonely and isolated a lot of the time.
§ Fear. Low esteemed people are afraid to try new things

IMPORTANCE OF SELF-ESTEEM
Every individual needs to have self-esteem, quite simply because it affects every aspect of one‘slife. Having a
good self-esteem is essential, because:
a) It helps you feel good about yourself and everything you do.
b) It translates into belief in yourself, giving you the courage to try new things.
c) It allows you to respect and honor yourself, even when you make mistakes. And whenyou respect
yourself, others will respect you too.
d) When you have a good self-esteem, you will know that you‘re smart enough to makeyour own
decisions.
e) When you honor yourself, you will make choices that nourish your mind and body.
f) You will value your safety, your feelings and health. Therefore, you will choose to make healthier eating
choices, exercising, or taking time off to do something you like (without feeling guilty about not doing
something for somebody else).
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FACTORS THAT SHAPE AND INFLUENCE SELF-ESTEEM

Self-esteem begins to form in early childhood. Factors that can influence self-esteem include:
§ Your own thoughts and perceptions
§ How other people react to you
§ Experiences at school, work and in the community
§ Illness, disability or injury
§ Culture
§ Religion
§ Role and status in society
§ Relationships with those close to you

THE EFFECTS OF LOW SELF ESTEEM

When a person has low self esteem it means they are making unwanted negative evaluation of themselves and
they develop strong self focused negative feelings. From there on, it is all downhill in terms of impact
Missed career opportunities
People with low self-esteem are afraid of taking risks and failing. Even a small failure has a small negative echo,
given the mind set these individuals have. This means that they‘ll dodge opportunities and they won‘t take
initiativeIn their career due to this tendency to stick to what is easy and safe, individuals with esteem problems
will make little progress. They may complain how their career is not going anywhere and this is entirely their
fault
Poor health
Consciously or not people with low self esteem do not see themselves as worthy of taking care ofthemselves.
They‘ll let themselves go because their health and physical state is not emotionally important to them. They are
so busy pleasing everybody else so they won‘t get rejected
Poor social life
It is common for individuals with low self esteem to spend an inordinate amount of time alone. They tend to have
a very small social circle usually with the same people in it since high school or college. The interactions they
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have with other people are usually brief, predictable and infrequent. They‘ll often have much longer interactions
with a video game or a cat than actual human beings

Shallow relationships
The relationships people with low self esteem have are typically very shallow. Due to their extremely negative
self view, they tend to be very quiet and reserved as individual. They find it hard to connect with others in a
deep and intimate way because they do not put themselves out there
Sex problems
These problems can vary from lack of sexual arousal in women to addiction to porn or prematureejaculation in
the case of men. It is all connected because these individuals are very insecure their sexual behavior and
impulses get messed up. Ironically they may end up seeking help for issues in their sex life; only to discover that
there is a deeper self image problem that needs to be handled
Self esteem problems are not easy to deal with. Overcoming them requires a lot of psychological work and a
fundamental shift in ones perception about their person, others and life. However as people who have beaten
their self image issues can testify, the personal development effort required is all worth it

WAYS TO IMPROVE SELF-ESTEEM

There are lots of ways to increase your self-esteem and they generally aren‘t too difficult to do. This list of ideas
is just that some ideas. May work for you and others may not but if you persevere you will notice a change in
your self-esteem.
§ Think positively
§ Focus on your achievements and skills
§ Try not to follow other peoples ideas or trends
§ Acknowledge and enjoy your accomplishments, big or small
§ Make a list of all the things you like about yourself
§ Be kind to yourself
§ Forgive yourself if something doesn‘t go to plan
§ Avoid comparing yourself to others
§ Try not to set unrealistic standards for yourself
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§ Focus on your strengths

§ Change your inner voice from negative to constructive
§ Accept yourself – the way you feel, look and everything you‘ve done

§ If someone is not being a good friend – walk away

§ Get active – exercise quite literally makes you feel good as the brain releaseschemicals called
endorphins which reduce stress and anxiety
§ Spend time looking after yourself, doing nice things for you
§ Learn from mistakes
§ Take opportunities and try new things
§ Set some boundaries for people in your life (eg. I won‘t accept people being rudeto me
§ Give your opinion confidently
§ Spend time with people who respect and listen to you
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TOPIC FOUR: STRESS MANAGEMENT

Main objectives
a) Definition of stress
b) Causes of stress
c) Effect of stress
d) Coping with stress
e) Forms of positive stress
f) Values associated with positive stress management

DEFINITION OF TERMS
Stress management
This is a set of techniques and programs intended to help people deal more effectively with stressin their lives by
analyzing the specific stressors and taking positive actions to minimize their effects. Most stress management
programs deal with job stress and workplace issues.
Stress management refers to the wide spectrum of techniques and psychotherapies aimed at controlling a person's
levels of stress, especially chronic stress, usually for the purpose ofimproving everyday functioning.
Stress is a person's response to a stressor such as an environmental condition or a stimulus. Stress is a body's
way to react to a challenge.
Stress is simply a reaction to a stimulus that disturbs our physical or mental equilibrium. In otherwords, it's an
omnipresent part of life.
CAUSES OF STRESS
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The situations and pressures that cause stress are known as STRESSORS. We usually think of stressors as being
negative, such as an exhausting work schedule or a rocky relationship. However, anything that puts high
demands on you or forces you to adjust can be stressful. This includes positive events such as getting married,
buying a house, going to college, or receiving a promotion.
What causes stress depends, at least in part, on your perception of it. Something that's stressful toyou may not
faze someone else; they may even enjoy it. For example, your morning commute may make you anxious and
tense because you worry that traffic will make you late. Others, however, may find the trip relaxing because they
allow more than enough time and enjoy listening to music while they drive.

COMMON EXTERNAL CAUSES OF STRESS

a) Major life change
b) Work
c) Relationship difficulties
d) Financial problems
e) Being too busy
f) Children and family

COMMON INTERNAL CAUSES OF STRESS

Not all stress is caused by external factors. Stress can also be self-generated:
§ Inability to accept § Unrealistic
uncertainty expectations
§ Pessimism § Perfectionism
§ Negative self-talk § Lack of assertiveness

Positive stress is a process of exploring potential gains. It is described as stress that is healthy, orgives one a
feeling of fulfillment and other positive feelings. It is also known as eustress.

SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS OF STRESS

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The following table lists some of the common warning signs and symptoms of stress.

Cognitive Symptoms Emotional Symptoms

Memory problems Moodiness

Inability to concentrate Irritability or short temper
Poor judgment Agitation, inability to relax
Seeing only the negative Feeling overwhelmed
Anxious or racing thoughts Sense of loneliness and isolation
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Stress Warning Signs and Symptoms

Constant worrying Depression or general unhappiness

Physical Symptoms Behavioral Symptoms
Aches and pains Eating more or less
Diarrhea or constipation Sleeping too much or too little
Nausea, dizziness Isolating yourself from others
Chest pain, rapid heartbeat Procrastinating/ neglecting responsibilities
Loss of sex drive Using alcohol, cigarettes, or drugs torelax
Frequent colds Nervous habits (e.g. nail biting, pacing)

THINGs THAT INFLUENCE STRESS TOLERANT LEVELS

§ Support network – A strong network of supportive friends and family members is an enormous buffer
against life‘s stressors. On the flip side, the more lonely and isolated youare, the greater your
vulnerability to stress.
§ Sense of control – If you have confidence in yourself and your ability to influence events and persevere
through challenges, it‘s easier to take stress in stride. People whoare vulnerable to stress tend to feel
like things are out of their control.
§ Attitude and outlook – Stress-hardy people have an optimistic attitude. They tend to embrace challenges,
have a strong sense of humor, accept that change is a part of life, andbelieve in a higher power or
purpose.
§ Ability to deal with your emotions – You‘re extremely vulnerable to stress if you don‘tknow how to calm
and soothe yourself when you‘re feeling sad, angry, or afraid. The ability to bring your emotions into
balance helps you bounce back from adversity.
§ Knowledge and preparation – The more you know about a stressful situation, including how long it will
last and what to expect, the easier it is to cope. For example, if you go into surgery with a realistic
picture of what to expect post-op, a painful recoverywill be less traumatic than if you were expecting to
bounce back immediately
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