Persuasive Language Hacks

Creating “Reality”

Problem: Getting on the “same page” can be hard

When to use these: any conversation, team member, prospect, client, spouse, kids, friends, etc.

Why: You have a responsibility to create reality, communicate your ideas, vision, direction - and resolve any
blocks in the way. Nobody else is learning the skills you’re learning - don’t expect someone else to magically
get on the same page as you.

Rules:

● Don’t get triggered. Stay present. (use the tools and clear fear & resentment charges)
● Project warmth & caring, don’t be antagonistic (unless it’s self-deprecating)
● Always intend to bring about a win-win (not only a win-win logically, they have to KNOW it’s a win)
● Let them “vent / outflow” first if needed (80% of the talking)
● Be curious - almost appearing naive…
● Be willing to be wrong
● Use “you” sparingly
● NEVER make them wrong
● NEVER even insinuate that they MIGHT be wrong
● Make them RIGHT - (let them be right, but in a way that you are also right)
● Make them IMPORTANT
● NEVER “explain yourself”
● ALWAYS make them sound / feel smarter (than you might think they are)
● Reaffirm

Language:

● “You and I both know / want / are / think…”

○ Appeal to their highest values / knowledge
● “You said it beautifully earlier…”
○ Restate some point they made and make it sound even better
○ Depending on context, you can ‘implant’ an idea
● ...Right? radical
○ Can be used at the end of almost every sentence
● “Like we did with (track record A, B, C)”
○ To be delivered ‘nonchalant’
● “At the end of the day, there’s two choices…
○ (play out the old way)
○ The new way to get what they want
● “I want to acknowledge you for (positive thing)...”
● “I could be totally wrong about this…”
● “Is there something else going on that I don’t know about?”
 ○ Finding the hidden objection
● “To be fully transparent (dress yourself down)...”
○ Eminem - 8-mile candor
○ Chuck Roades - Billions
● “I totally understand where you’re coming from and I feel the exact same way…
● “I’m curious… or Just for fun...
○ Any question…
○ What makes you say that?
○ Where did you hear / learn that?
● “When it comes to (this thing), what is most important to you? Why?
○ Find out
● “If you could change one thing about (situation), what would you change? Why do you say that?
● “I’ve been there… (story about how you’ve been there)”
● “Is it possible that there’s even the slightest 0.001% chance of (new idea)?”
● “Would you mind if I asked you a couple questions about that?”
● “Tell me a little more about that…”
● “What do you think about that?”
● “What makes that seem right to you?”
● “How can we create a win here?”
● “What is your intention in saying that?”