RGMCET – DEPT.

OF ENGLISH
Interpersonal Communication
UNIT-4

Interpersonal communication is a process that is used to communicate ideas,

thoughts, and feelings to another person. Interpersonal communication skills are
learned behaviors that can be improved through knowledge, practice, feedback, and
reflection.
Almost every problem, every conflict and every misunderstanding has an
interpersonal communication problem. Interpersonal communication is humanity’s
most important characteristic and its greatest accomplishment. It is human’s ability to
turn meaningless grunts into spoken and written words, through which they are able
to make known their needs, wants, ideas and feelings.
Interpersonal Communication is a complex process that can be described in
simplified terms by a Sender and a Receiver who exchange messages containing
ideas and feelings, mixed together.

Transactional Analysis
It is a social psychology and a method to improve communication. The theory
outlines how we have developed and treat ourselves, how we relate and
communicate with others, and offers suggestions and interventions which will
enable us to change and grow. Transactional Analysis is underpinned by the
philosophy that:

• people can change

• we all have a right to be in the world and be accepted

Berne E. ‘s Transactional Analysis: IPC is a contractual approach: A contract is "an

explicit bilateral commitment to a well-defined course of action" Which means that
all parties need to agree:

• why they want to do something

• with whom
• what they are going to do
• by when
• any fees, payment or exchanges there will be
Transactional Analysis: First Order Structural Model:

Berne devised the concept of ego states to help explain how we are made up and how
we relate to others. These are drawn as three stacked circles and they are one of the
building blocks of Transactional Analysis. They categorize the ways we think, feel
and behave and are called Parent, Adult, and Child. Each ego state is given a capital
letter to denote the difference between actual parents, adults and children.

Franklin Ernst ‘s OK Modes Model

Life positions in Franklin Ernst ‘s OK Modes Model are basic beliefs about self and
others, which are used to justify decisions and behavior.

Effective mode: A communication is likely to achieve the intended response or

result. Information is received, necessary action(s) follow and good relationships are
maintained or developed communication - an I'm OK, You're OK position. Each
of the effective Modes, dependent on the Mindful Process, communicates "I'm OK
and You're OK".

✓ Structuring Mode - This is the boundary setting Mode, offering constructive

criticism. In this Mode we are caring whilst firm.
✓ Supporting Mode - When in this Mode we are affirming and considerate.
 ✓ Co-creating Mode - From this Mode we develop ways to help us live and work
with others.
✓ Playful Mode - This is the creative, fun loving, curious and energetic Mode. We
can confront people playfully as a way of dealing with a difficult situation.
This can diffuse a potential problem and get the message across.

Ineffective Mode - The intended communication is not understood the person

receiving the communication is themselves invited into a "not OK" position.

Criticizing Mode - communicates a "You're not OK" message. When in this Mode you
will believe that others cannot do things as well as you can, or perhaps only certain
chosen people can. If you lead from this position you are unlikely to develop a loyal
supportive team or culture.
Inconsistent Mode - As a leader we might be inconsistent in our style - changing our
behaviour in unpredictable and apparently random ways. This is not helpful for
followers (or leaders).
Interfering Mode - communicates a "You're not OK" message. When in this Mode the
person will often do things for others which they are capable of doing for
themselves. People who find it difficult to delegate might be in this Mode.
Reckless Mode - In this Mode we run wild with no boundaries. Here we express a
"You're not OK" message. At work we tend not to take responsibility for our actions
and are unlikely to progress as we need a great deal of management in order to focus
our energy and keep boundaries.
 Joseph Luft’s Johari Window:

Johari window is a concept model for self-awareness, personal development, group

development and understanding relationship.This model is a simple and useful tool
for understanding and training self-awareness, personal development, improving
communications, interpersonal relationships, group dynamics, team development
and intergroup relationships.

It is developed by American psychologists Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham in the

1950's, calling it 'Johari' after combining their first names, Joe and Harry.

The Four Johari Window Perspectives:

1.Open area, open self, free area, free self, or 'the arena‘: what is known by the person
about him/herself and is also known by others .

2. Blind area, blind self, or 'blindspot‘: what is unknown by the person about
him/herself but which others know.

3. Hidden area, hidden self, avoided area, avoided self or 'façade’: what the person
knows about him/herself that others do not know.

4. Unknown area or unknown self: what is unknown by the person about him/herself
and is also unknown by others.
‘Open self/area‘, 'free area‘, 'public area', 'arena‘:

✓ Information about the person - behaviour, attitude, feelings, emotion,

knowledge, experience, skills, views, etc – known by the person ('the self') and
known by the team ('others').
✓ The aim in any team is to develop the 'open area' for every person, because
when we work in this area with others we are at our most effective and
productive, and the team is at its most productive too
✓ The open free area, or 'the arena‘ - the space where good communications and
cooperation occur, free from distractions, mistrust, confusion, conflict.

‘Blind self' or 'blind area' or 'blindspot‘: what is known about a person by

others in the group, but is unknown by the person him/herself

✓ Could also be referred to as ignorance about oneself, or issues in which one is

deluded
✓ Not an effective or productive space for individuals or groups

The aim is to reduce this area by seeking or soliciting feedback from others and
thereby to increase the open area, i.e., to increase self-awareness. Team members and
managers take responsibility for reducing the blind area - in turn increasing the open
area - by giving sensitive feedback and encouraging disclosure.

‘Hidden self' or 'hidden area' or 'avoided self/area' or 'facade': Represents

information, feelings, etc, anything that a person knows about him/self, but which
is not revealed or is kept hidden from others. It also include sensitivities, fears,
hidden agendas, manipulative intentions, and secrets - anything that a person knows
but does not reveal.
Relevant hidden information and feelings, etc, should be moved into the open area
through the process of 'self-disclosure' and 'exposure process.' Organizational culture
and working atmosphere have a major influence on team members’ preparedness to
disclose their hidden selves. The extent to which an individual discloses personal
feelings and information, and the issues which are disclosed, and to whom, must always
be at the individual's own discretion.

‘Unknown self‘, 'area of unknown activity‘, 'unknown area'

✓ Information, feelings, latent abilities, aptitudes, experiences etc, that are

unknown to the person him/herself and unknown to others in the group
✓ Can be prompted through self-discovery or observation by others, or through
collective or mutual discovery
✓ Counseling can also uncover unknown issues
✓ Uncovering 'hidden talents' - that is unknown aptitudes and skills, not to be
confused with developing the Johari 'hidden area' .

Managers and leaders can create an environment that encourages self-discovery, and to
promote the processes of self discovery, constructive observation and feedback among
team members.

Managers & Leaders: Johari Window is helpful for managers and leaders in
operating methods and integrating management. It improves interpersonal
communication. By increasing the ‘open area’ most of the interpersonal conflict can be
reduced.

✓ Play an important role in facilitating feedback and disclosure among group

members, and in directly giving feedback to individuals about their own blind
areas

✓ Also have a big responsibility to promote a culture and expectation for open,
honest, positive, helpful, constructive, sensitive communications, and the
sharing of knowledge throughout their organization

✓ Encouraging the positive development of the 'open area' or 'open self' for
everyone is a fundamental aspect of effective leadership.
 Daniel Goleman’s Concept of Emotional Intelligence in Communication
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The Concept of Emotional Intelligence (EI)

At the most general level, emotional intelligence (EI) refers to the ability to
recognize and regulate emotions in ourselves and others. Peter Salovey and John
Mayer (1997 3-31) defined Emotional intelligence as

“The ability to perceive emotion, integrate emotion to facilitate thought, understand

emotions, and to regulate emotions to promote personal growth.”

Basically emotional intelligence is being concerned with understanding oneself and

others. This skill enables professionals to adapt to and cope with the immediate
surroundings to be more successful in dealing with environmental demands.

Emotional Intelligence also enhances mental balance. Emotional intelligence is not

just a new twist on relaxation techniques; it's about genuinely increasing the internal
coherence and balance of a person.

In the words of Cooper and Sawaf (1997 28), it is “the ability to sense, understand,
and effectively apply the power and acumen of emotions as a source of human
energy, connection, and influence”.

What is emotion?

The word emotion is derived from the Latin word “emovere” which means the
spirit that moves us. Emotion is the transmitter and recorder of all feelings, thoughts
and actions. Many a time lines are heard like “let emotions not sway your duty
towards your kingdom” in Indian history. The ability to manage feelings and handle
stress has been found to be important for success. Every one experiences emotions at
work.

Feelings can encompass both positive and negative responses. Feelings are
psychologically coupled with emotions, thoughts and behaviors. A feeling wheel
was developed by Dr. Gloria Willcox, of Petersburg, Florida, USA, to help to
identify the layers of underlying feelings. It shows the opposite feeling opposite
ends of the wheel. The emotions mad and powerful are opposing each other at the
wheel. Similarly sad and joyful are at opposite ends. This can be used to expand
the awareness of emotions.
 Feeling wheel

Emotions: Conventional Vs. high-performance

Low EI : Conventional High EI: High Performance

Interfere with good judgment Essential to good judgment
 Distractions Motivate us

Sign of vulnerability Make us real and alive

Obstruct, or slow down, Enhance, or speed up, reasoning

reasoning

Form a barrier to control Build trust and connection

Weaken fixed attitudes Activate ethical values

Complicate management Spark creativity and innovation

planning
Undermine (destabilize) authority Generate influence without authority

Source: Cooper. R. & Sawaf, A. Executive EQ. Emotional intelligence in leadership

and organizations. New York: The Berkley Publishing. 1997. 28.

The scientifically based concept of emotional intelligence offers a more precise

understanding of a specific kind of human talent. "Emotional intelligence refers to
the capacity for recognizing our own feelings and those of others, for motivating
ourselves, and for managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationships,"
says Daniel Goleman. Emotional intelligence determines our potential for learning
the practical skills that are based on its five elements: self-awareness, motivation,
self-regulation, empathy, and adeptness in relationships.

Goleman’s Model of EI

The ingredients of EI such as empathy can foster a healthy climate in an

organization. Creating an organizational culture that supports emotional
intelligence is a key factor. Encouraging managers to create emotionally intelligent
teams that are self-aware, self-regulating and self-motivating can lead to great
success in any organization.
 The EI competence can be achieved when a person can efficiently and
effectively develop an interpersonal style that supports his or her ability to
accomplish work. Daniel Goleman defines Emotional Competence as “A learned
capability based on emotional intelligence that results in outstanding performance
at work”. Goleman ends up with a table with areas to develop at the work place.
The main contents are outlined in the table.

Goleman's (2001) Emotional Intelligence Competence framework

Self-Awareness • Knowing one’s internal states,preferences,

• Emotional Self-Awareness resources
• Recognizing one’s emotions and their
• Accurate Self-Assessment effects
• Knowing one’s strengths and limits
• Self-Confidence
Self-regulation • Managing one’s internal impulses and
resources
• Self-Control
• Keeping disruptive emotions and
• Trustworthiness impulses in check
• Conscientiousness • Taking the responsibility for personal
performance
• Adaptability
• Flexibility in handling change
• Achievement Drive • Being comfortable with novel ideas,
• Initiative approaches, and new information

Empathy • Awareness of other’s feelings, needs, and

concerns
• Understanding others • Sensing others’ feelings and perspectives
• Developing others • Bolstering their abilities
• Anticipating, recognizing, and meeting
• Service orientation
customers’ needs
• Leveraging diversity • Cultivating opportunities through
• Political awareness different kinds of people
 Social Skills
• Influence
• Communication
• Conflict management
• Leadership
• Change catalyst
• Building bonds
• Collaboration
cooperation
• Team capabilities
• Adeptness and inducing desirable
responses in others
• Listening openly and sending convincing
messages
• Initiating or managing change
• Nurturing instrumental relationships
• Working with others towards shared goals
and creating group synergy
&

Source: Cheniss C & Golemand D. The emotional intelligent work place. John Wily
and Sons. 2001.165.

Thus EI can change the organizational environment in a healthy manner.

Emotionally intelligent employees are generally being accepted as key competitive
competence in complex business scenario.

• Asses the job

• Assess the individual
• Deliver assessments with care
• Gauge readiness
• Motivate
• Make change self directed
Focus on clear