Bradley 1 Iris Bradley Ms.

Caruso English 1101 24 September 2011 Necklace While it may look like some ordinary necklace it does have its own history, story, and meaning. For starters it means the world to menot only because of the beauty, but for the meaning and story that it symbolizes. Although that may not say much to you now, it will in a few. Two years ago my ex-boyfriend bashfully handed me a beautiful, heart-shaped necklace. It is a small, white gold diamond encrusted heart with a leafy side gallery. I was utterly shocked to receive a necklace from him since I had been a Stupid bitch" the previous year. It surprised me even more when he left me for another girl in the same breath because I made the decision to grace him with my most precious gift. Those same words he imposed on me broke my heart and left me mentally stranded. It was all I could think about and for just over a year it was what drove every one of my decisions. My grades improved because I was determined to prove him wrong I was not going to be a Stupid bitch. I began running track so that I didnt have to think about the mess that was my life and so I could just do something that was not another something we used to do. I started working at Carowinds just three months later because I needed something to distract me. I started taking up exercise recreationally and I even swore off meat- anything just to keep my mind off of what I truly wanted. I made it my priority to fix everything that was wrong with me and to be my own person without him. I knew what was coming when he added me back as a friend MySpace three months and shortly after his relationship status change and the pictures of her disappeared just three months after we had
Comment [BC1]: Introduce the reader to this necklace Your reader will not know what you are talking about.

Comment [BC2]: This acts as filler. The reader will understand that they will learn more as the paper goes on.

Bradley 2 broken up. I was elated and mad when I received a text from him five months later because I was so close to healing. He wanted just what I wanted him to want the most, me. Those words still lingered six months after later so I continued to let him beg and literally cry for my forgiveness because I was glad to see tear on someone elses face besides my own. I love that it hurt him. After much debate he somehow coerced me into being friends with him I guess that was his way of getting his foot in the door. Once he finally got me to be friends with him he gave me a necklace and promised me that I would forgive him and be with him again. I of course accepted it because I was sure that it would never happen and I was glad he had worked hard and thought of me. This necklace did not mean much at first in fact it represented everything I did not want to be. It said love- which I wasnt in- it reminded me of him- which I hated. It was a reminder not to let any guy ever disrespect or hurt me again which is why I never take it off. I never intended to grant him another chance I only intended to give the appearance that I wanted to forgive him. I intended to break his heart the way he had broken mine. I assured him that if he worked hard enough that I would be more than willing to forgive him. I was wrong about that. A year and a half later he finally got just what he wanted or so he though. He had my forgiveness and with that came our daughter who probably warranted forgiveness on his part. It seemed petty and childish to hang on to meaningless words since I needed someone for emotional support. At that point my necklace probably began to mean the most to me. It was a way for me to have a part of him even when he could not be there. My necklace with its delicate chain with a small clasp connects us. Its hole reinforced by a precious metal closes the gap that was once there. Its small, diamond encrusted heart carries with it a sparkling memory. Although my necklace cost nothing near $15,800, it is worth far more to me and to him. My necklace hints not to forget the bad times, but to focus on the good.
Comment [BC5]: Where did this number come from? Im not sure I understand the reference. Comment [BC3]: This strays away from the focus of your paper quite a bit. Although this is all important information to you, it reads as either a rant or a diary entry on the necklace, rather than something that shows the purpose of the necklace and how ti achieves that purpose. I would suggest cutting this down quite a bit so your reader can grasp your point right away. Keep in mind the purpose of this paper.

Comment [BC4]: This seems to be your main point.

Bradley 3 Our love is express through this necklace. I would say that is worth far more than a cute birthday necklace from a parent. Of course a girl would love an expensive necklace that is glitzy and glamorous, but I know she would prefer one that carried with it a long history. Although Harry Winston may have every star dashing to the jewelry counter for his collections, his necklaces do not express I will never leave your side. Mister Winstons collections have a very high price tag while my necklace is absolutely priceless. One could not shop for the creativeness, intelligence, or caring feeling exuded from my necklace. The bulky, glitziness simply over compensates and takes away from the beauty it could have. My necklace is more preferable because it can be dressed up or down. It resembles more confusion than anything else. Its multishaped diamonds lend an ear to inconsistency and sadness rather than triumphant love. While the Harry Winston piece shows its value with its imported diamond and platinum setting, the true value of my necklace stems from the history behind it. My necklace may not be as glamorous and it may not sparkle quiet as bright as a Harry Winston piece, but it does signify a promise we made to our daughter to be open, honest, and respectful towards each other. While it may not appeal to everyone it appeals to our family and it means a great deal to all of us. It does not have flawless diamond, yet those flaws remind us we still have a long way to go and that it will be a bumpy one. The market value of my necklace is about $275, much cheaper than any of Harry Winstons pieces, but its true value is apparent because it in essence bonds a family together. A cheaper piece of jewelry is exactly that. It holds no meaning, no sentimental value, or monetary weight. No movie stars flock to the jewelry counter to snatch up cheapest jewelry they can afford. There is no consultation to find out what cheap imitation precious jewel would best fit in its tacky setting. This piece by Cas Jewllery doesnt even have the audacity to be a noted fake diamond such as cubic zirconium. While this cheap piece may look elegant and beautiful it
Comment [BC9]: This can be a purpose for the necklace. Make it into its own paragraph and be sure you address this point fully. You leave this point without saying anything else about it. Comment [BC10]: Excellent observation and connection! Comment [BC8]: How does this contribute to your point? Comment [BC7]: How?

Bradley 4 is sure to turn your neck green. Its rhinestone and alloy makeup is sure to cause a break out. Its faux chrysanthemum jewel insults a serious jewelry collector. Its poor design says nothing of love or beauty. It does not even say much from a fashionable aspect. This piece even dares to be cheap metal covered by gold. This necklace could never compare to mine. It could never be someones beacon. It will never be more than a poor decoration. Something that exhibits such elegance should not be so cheaply made. This piece seems like one that would be for special occasions so why would one cheapen the moment with such a bargain basement priced necklace? I like this piece of jewelry because it symbolizes a promise that he made to me. Now that promise extends to our family and the promise we made to be there for our daughter no matter what happened between us. My necklace speaks to our family and signifies what our family is trying to achieve. This necklace symbolizes understanding, forgiveness, honesty, openness, and the good and the bad times that we will work through to be with each other. My necklace is priceless because it is my family and all the promises we will keep to each other. My necklace is an extension of us. My necklace is modest just as we are modest. It is not boastful nor is it brash. It is not garish nor is it gaudy. It is simplicity at its best.
Comment [BC11]: Great conclusion! Comment [BC12]: Iris, You have some excellent information about the necklace in this paper, but you dont tend to elaborate upon those ideas. In this paper, you give mostly history and speculation. Be sure that you are constantly pursuing the point of this paper to talk about the purpose of the necklace and how it is fulfilled. My main suggestions would be to put those purposes at the forefront and to explain them fully. The way to do this is to develop a stronger structure that allows you to talk about these points. Begin your paragraphs with the points, then prove them with concrete evidence from the text. Your observation about the sizes and positioning of the stones would work very well. Look deep into the text to figure out exactly why you think the things you do about it. Please let me know if you need help with any of this. Also, be sure you come to me if you need help with the enxt paper, too. -Ms. C

Bradley 5 Works Cited Winston, Harry. Garland Heart Pendant. 2 carats; platinum setting and chain.2011 collection. CasJewellery. Chrysanthemum Designed Rhinestone Necklace. Rhinestone; alloy(gold plating) setting.