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Task 4 - Revising and Editing

Yaneth R. Camargo

Universidad Nacional Abierta y a Distancia – UNAD

Escuela de Ciencias de la Educación – ECEDU

Licenciatura en Lenguas Extranjeras con énfasis en inglés – LiLEI

518013 English Composition

Milly A. Muñoz

November 28,2021
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Table of Contents

Step 1-Web conference partipation or summary; OREO Table and Opinion Paragraph ... 3

Step 2 - Assignments 8,9,10,11 and 12 ............................................................................ 6

Assignment 8................................................................................................................... 6

Assignment 9 ................................................................................................................... 9

Assignment 10 ................................................................................................................ 11

Assignment 11 ................................................................................................................ 14

Assignment 12 ................................................................................................................ 15

Step 3 - Rough draft, Checklist, Clean Copy of 5-paragraph essay………………………….16

References ......................................................................................................................... 20
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Step 1-Web conference partipation or summary; OREO Table and Opinion

Paragraph
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Characteristics to write a successful essay

The text refers to the importance of knowing how to write essays, in the same way it

provides a step by step to be successful in writing assignments, so I consider that this guide is an

excellent example to develop meaningful writing skills. Without forgetting the whole process

that a writing must have so that it can be understood and internalized by whoever reads it.

First, the writing must contain an initial planning so that the objective that was had in

the first moment can be achieved, as this will help in the entire organization of the text and

produce a complete and valuable text. For example: Knowing the requirements for the essay,

taking a moment to reflect on the topic, developing a good thesis, writing relevant content to

support the thesis, using correct grammar and sentence structure to produce clear content

(Bakaj 2012, p 5)

Another reason is that it is necessary to understand the writing requirements, to develop

a writing with each of the appropriate characteristics. Before applying the writing, you should

think about the expectations that the teacher has and in this way the writing can become easy

and successful. You must have certain considerations to start a good essay one of these can be:

practice constantly, since in practice you can reach perfection and on the other hand, taking

good notes is considered a significant task for the development of a good essay. (Bakaj 2012, p 7)

Finally, and the most important thing for me, is that it is necessary to build a good thesis

statement, since this sentence will be the one that will attract the audience and will be the main

idea of our text which provides solid writing. A thesis is a single sentence that will be located as

the last sentence of the introduction paragraph. Its purpose is to state a problem and an answer

(Bakaj 2012, p 9)
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It could be argued that students by handling this practical guide to write an essay can

improve the writing and develop writing skills which will serve at all times to do the

assignments, in order to maintain the interest of the readers using their own style, simple and

meaningful.
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Step 2 - Asignments 8, 9, 10, 11 and 12

Assignment 8

1. Following the Content Revision Checklist, read, then evaluate the following essay.

As I exited the plane with my classmates, I realized that relying on each other’s

strengths would be essential to our visit in Russia. Throughout the ten months that I spent in

Russia, studying, traveling, working, and adapting to a new world, I learned some valuable

lessons—assumptions differ across cultures, my way is not the only way, and be prepared for

the unknown.

As an exchange student in St. Petersburg, I had to overcome daily cultural, linguistic,

and physical challenges. Each of these challenges taught me the important lesson of being

flexible in planning when dealing with others. I was able to witness many changes in the

country during my stay.

When I came home from Russia, I was elected President of the Russian Club. As

President, I took on a project to record a Russian textbook to cassette tapes for students who

are visually impaired. I recruited 15 volunteers and trained them on the recorders. Then, I

developed a schedule for the volunteers and set down reading guidelines. We completed the

project ahead of schedule.

I am currently a Team Leader at work. I manage a team of customer service

representatives. Being a team leader has honed my communication, management,

organizational, leadership, and team skills. Deciding how to reorganize teams with other

managers and successfully complete team restructuring with changing staff has become

commonplace. Completing daily reports has allowed me to track trends and adjust office
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procedures or teams as needed. By training and mentoring coworkers, I have gained the

reputation of being a trusted resource and leader in my office.

The skills that I have learned from the many trips I have taken will allow me to succeed

in the business technology program at Johnson Community College. This certificate will give

me the skills to further my career, and I will be an asset to companies in managing changes in

technology.

Content Revision Checklist

Checklist Items Answer

In the introduction the thesis statement is

Does the introduction clearly explain what the presented, the writer also tries to attract
paper is about? Does it prepare the reader for attention by highlighting a small anecdote
what comes next? which arouses interest in the reader to continue
reading the rest of the essay.

The thesis statement in this essay is easily

Is the thesis statement clear and easy to
identifiable and gives the reader the main idea
understand?
of what the entire paper is going to be about.

Each paragraph of the writing is consistent with

Does each paragraph relate to the thesis
the thesis statement that could be observed at
statement?
first in the introduction

Are the main ideas (subtopics) — topic

The topic sentences presented in the text
sentences — related to the thesis statement? Do
represent the main idea of each paragraph.
they back it up?

Each of the paragraphs support the thesis

statement built because they try to convince
Do the paragraphs support the thesis
that thanks to the skills that the person has
statement? Is the support specific? Is it
acquired in the different trips, they will be able
convincing?
to succeed in the program that they may wish to
apply.
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The conclusion is logical with the entire

Does the conclusion logically end the paper? development of the writing, expressing the
Does it give a take-home message that stems importance of knowing cultures in order to
from the rest of the paper? develop skills, that is, it leaves a positive
message at the end of the text

Overall, does the paper meet the goals of the In general, the text meets the objectives of a
assignment? Does it meet personal goals? successful writing

You may need to add supporting statements to

How might this paper be improved? better strengthen the writing.

look for synonyms so as not to repeat words

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Assignment 9

1. Evaluate the following paragraph by using the Focus Revision Checklist.

There are two main things that I really dislike about myself. First, I am a bashful

person. For example, I am really shy when called on in class or required to speak in front of an

audience. Often, I will even become embarrassed and blush while talking on the phone to a

stranger. I’m also constantly searching for acceptance from my peers. I try very hard to please

my friends, family, boss, and teachers. Sometimes, I will even do things that I don’t

particularly enjoy because I think it pleases others.

Focus Revision Checklist

Checklist Items
Does the paragraph have a topic sentence? If so,
what is it?
What is the main idea of the paragraph?
Do all the sentences in the paragraph support
the main idea?
How are the sentences in the paragraph
organized? Is this the most effective way to
organize them? Explain why or why not.
Are there any sentences that don’t follow the
organization or that just don’t flow logically?
Give examples and explain what the problem is.
2. Evaluate the following paragraph using the Organization Revision Checklist.
Answer
There are two main things that I really dislike
about myself.
The main idea is: about a person who has
shyness as a weakness, because of that he tries
to satisfy everyone, but without enjoying the
things he does since maybe he just wants
acceptance.
Some of the sentences are consistent with the
main idea
The paragraph has types of support such as
anecdotes and examples of what happens in the
life of that person.
The last sentence is a bit disorganized since it
has no relation to the thesis statement, which
can be a bit confusing and difficult to
understand.

When you move into your first apartment, you will probably find that there are several

things you used at home that you now will need to buy for yourself. In the kitchen, you will
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need silverware, dishes, dish towels, pot holders, pots, pans, and other cooking utensils. You

will need towels, a shower curtain, a bath mat, and toiletries in your bathroom. If you plan to

clean your apartment once in a while, you’ll also need cleaning supplies and equipment

specific to each room. In the bedroom, you are going to need sheets, blankets, and pillows. You

will probably want to have a television set or stereo as well as furniture in your living room.

Organization Revision Checklist

Checklist Items
How are the sentences in the paragraph
organized?
Is this the most effective way to organize them?
Explain why or why not.
Are there any sentences that don’t follow the
organization or that just don’t flow logically?
Give examples and explain what the problem is.
Answer
I consider it to be a bit disorganized
It is not the way to organize a paragraph, in
general for a paragraph to be well structured it
must be in chronological or sequential order, by
cause and effect, by comparison and contrast, in
order of degree or in spatial order
"You will probably want to have a television set
or stereo as well as furniture in your living
room" This sentence does not have coherence
with the paragraph, or it should be better
structured.
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Assignment 10

1. Choose the correct word to complete each sentence.

a. When (your/you’re) done with your work, let’s go out to dinner.

b. If the kids would just be (quiet/quite), I think I could finish this report.

c. They walked (passed/past) the accident without realizing it.

d. My energy (complements/compliments) his calmness.

e. They went camping in the (desert/dessert).

f. The dog licked (it’s/its) wounds.

g. We visited the (capital/capitol) while we were in Washington, D.C.

h. I had (already/all ready) seen the movie twice.

i. I try not to (waist/waste) money on vending machines.

j. The (principal/principle) cause of the fire was faulty wiring.

k. (Who’s/Whose) house is this anyway?

l. After having the flu, Martha felt very (weak/week).

2. Choose the correct word to complete each sentence.

a. They had a party at the construction (site/sight/cite).

b. I’d rather do math problems than (right/write/rite) a paper.

c. (There/Their/They’re) seems to be a problem with the lock on this door.

d. When I was younger, I liked to (where/wear/were) make-up

3. Rewrite these sentence fragments and run-on sentences.

a. Look at the facilities in other countries, have you’ll see the U. S. has far better

facilities.

Look at the facilities in other countries; and have you’ll see the U. S. has far better

facilities.
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Contributing time, money, and effort.

My Contributing time, money, and effort.

b. My father isn’t sick, he’s as healthy as a horse.

My father isn’t sick. He’s as healthy as a horse.

c. Having stayed up all night working on my paper.

Having to stay up all night working on my paper.

d. Must be prepared and on time.

I Must be prepared, and on time.

4. Rewrite the following paragraph. Eliminate any sentence fragments or run-on sentences.

A person who is interested in becoming a teacher. A profession that is in great need of

talented people. Should investigate the elements required to be a good teacher before making a

final decision. On first thought, it might seem that a good teacher is one who is very

knowledgeable of the subject matter, a master of what he or she wants to teach, however

others would disagree. Good teachers are those who connect with students and are able to

interest students in the process of thinking and inquiring about the subject matter. Teaching is

more than knowing the subject matter it’s understanding where students are and dreaming

about where they can go with the subject matter.

She is interested in becoming a teacher. A profession that is in great need of talented people.
Should investigate the elements required to be a good teacher before making a final decision. On
first thought, it might seem that a good teacher is one who is very knowledgeable of the subject
matter, however others would disagree. Good teachers are those who connect with students and
are able to interest students in the process of thinking and inquiring about the subject matter.
Teaching is more than knowing the subject matter it’s understanding where students are and
dreaming about where they can go with the subject matter.
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5. Rewrite the following paragraph using correct punctuation and capitalization.

Several months ago February 29 I had just watched the ending of a very funny movie I

reached over, turned off the TV and was just beginning to dream quite pleasantly when the

familiar ring of my telephone suddenly startled me awake groggily I answered my telephone it

was my best friend telling me he had just been given extra tickets to the yankees game he

excitedly asked would you like to go

Several months ago, February 29, I had just watched the ending of a very funny movie. I
reached over, turned off the TV and was just beginning to dream quite pleasantly when the
familiar ring of my telephone suddenly startled me awake groggily. I answered my telephone,
it was my best friend telling me he had just been given extra tickets to the Yankees game he
excitedly asked would you like to go.

6. Choose the correct word to complete each sentence.

a. (Fewer/Less) people are killed in airplane accidents each year (than/then) in car

accidents.

b. In the novel, two Martians (emigrated/immigrated) from Mars to Earth.

c. Do you know who (discovered/invented) the telephone?

d. He (accepted/excepted) my apology graciously.

e. We (implied/inferred) from her tone of voice that we were in trouble.

f. A cat is usually slow to (adapt/adopt) to a new cat in the house.

g. Did the flood (effect/affect) your house?

h. As a child, he played the violin (bad/badly).

i. The Valentine’s candy (lay/laid) unopened on her dresser.

j. The puppy is (lying/laying) down in the grass outside.

k. (Set/Sit) your keys down on the desk and come in.

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Assignment 11

1. Rewrite the following paragraph using the strategies in this lesson.

A person’s accomplishments in life are dependent upon his personal prediction of his

performance. In actuality, anyone can effect his own future, positively or negatively, through

truthful evaluation of his self-esteem. If an individual sees himself as incapable of producing

anything that is of value, he is correct. Difficulties will be encountered that are overwhelming

in his pursuits of success because of the fact that he is beginning with self-doubt. Although he

might be qualified to accomplish a particular project, he will probably fail because of the fact

that he will be easily persuaded to surrender his efforts and stop struggling toward his goal.

A person accomplishment in life all depends on how he views his performance.

Actually, anyone can affect his own future, positively or negatively. It all depends on how you

view yourself. If an individual sees himself as incapable of producing anything that is of value,

that is what will happen. Difficulties will happen because he is beginning to doubt himself.

Although, he might be qualified to accomplish a particular goal or project he will probably fail

because he doubts, he can do it.

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Assignment 12

1. Rewrite the following paragraph using questions and answers, different sentence lengths

and different sentence structures.

Henri Henklebeck is my best friend. He called last Sunday. He asked if I’d heard the

news of the circus coming to town. He talked to me for a long time. We decided to spend the

afternoon at the circus. We said good-bye.

Henri Henklebeck, my best friend, called. “Did you hear that the circus is coming to

town?” he asked. and then we were talking for a long time, my friend said: What do you think

if we go to the circus? and I said: - its a wonderful idea. then he told me, see you later? and I

said of course that yes, see you soon. bye

2. Write one sentence using each type of figurative language listed below.

Type of Figurative Language Sentence

a. Metaphor His words cut deeper than a knife.

b. Simile His hair is as black as night.

c. Personification The snow whispered as it fell to the ground.

d. Hyperbole He’s as skinny as a toothpick.

e. Irony “Great job! Thanks for destroying my beautiful art work.”

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5. Step 3 - Rough draft, Checklist, Clean Copy of 5-paragraph essay

Checklist Items Long Answer

Content: What the essay says
Does the paper show what the title says? the article does not have a title.
Does the introduction clearly explain what The introduction convinces the reader to
the paper is about? Does it prepare the continue reading, as it presents the thesis
reader for what comes next? statement and also concludes its
introduction with a quote which is
consistent with the body of the essay.
Is the thesis statement clear and easy to Yes, it contains key points to know what
understand? the reading is going to be about
Does each paragraph relate to the thesis The thesis is solid and responds to the
statement? general content of the text
Are the main ideas (subtopics) — topic the main ideas are within each of the
sentences — related to the thesis paragraphs and make it possible that it is
statement? Do they back it up? not necessary to read the entire text to
extract the central concept
Do the paragraphs support the thesis Yes, the paragraphs are consistent with the
statement? Is the support specific? Is it thesis
convincing?
Does the conclusion logically end the The conclusion accomplishes the
paper? Does it give a take-home message objectives such as summarizing main ideas
that stems from the rest of the paper? and gives a take-home message.

Structure: How the essay reads

Does each paragraph have a topic Yes, each paragraph has a thematic
sentence? sentence
What is the main idea of each paragraph? first paragraph: Writing was a rather
troublesome process at the beginning but
later there was a better connection with
writing
second paragraph: writing has important
steps, but this could not be distinguished
at the beginning of writing
third paragraph: the writing process did
not have a significant structure, but
afterwards you could enjoy the process
when you have continuous learning
Fourth paragraph: the writing competence
is in process and the fundamental

Do all the sentences in the paragraph
support the main idea?
How are the sentences in the paragraph
organized? Is this the most effective way to
organize them? Explain why or why not.
Are there any sentences that don’t follow
the organization or that just don’t flow
logically? Give examples and explain what
the problem is.
Mechanics: How the essay is written
Is the spelling correct? Did you use the
spell check on the computer or look up
words you weren’t sure about in a
dictionary?
Is the grammar correct? Are there any
sentence fragments or run-on sentences?
Has the author used punctuation
correctly?
Has the author correctly used capital
letters?
Has the author used words correctly
throughout the paper?
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characteristics of a good writing must be
fostered.
fifth paragraph: excellent writing is
obtained with perseverance
All sentences have to do with the main idea
The paragraphs are organized sequentially
according to the writing process of the
person who did the essay.
All sentences are found logically
Use the dictionary to find out which was
the correct word in the text.
This could be a sentence fragment
(Without a doubt, the writing process is
not as easy as you think.)
The text has some punctuation errors
There are some omissions of capital letters.
The writer used correct words in the text
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My written production process

Writing was quite a troublesome process in my initial training, but when I discovered my

vocation, it sparked my interest to focus on the world of letters and word formation. Without

and a doubt, the writing process is not as easy as you think, it is important to note that a good

writer must consider certain characteristics so that his writing can be successful. For this reason,

I want to rescue a phrase that argues the above "there is a moment when all obstacles collapse,

all conflicts fall apart, and one comes up with things that one had not dreamed of and then,

there is nothing better in life than write" Gabriel Garcia Marquez Conversations with Plinio

Apuleyo Mendoza "(report)

As it was said at first, writing takes into account some important characteristics, for this

reason writing does not depend on certain steps, but on a constant process, which develops the

necessary skills to apply them at different times (before, during and after). The writing process

was initially frustrating since I wrote texts without the necessary observation to obtain a good

writing, normally in school they taught us only to write depending on a theme or topic, so, in the

development of the body of the text it could be messy and without the correct structure

The beginning of my writing process was unstructured, my writing was messy and

without meaningful structure; this moment I can say that I have improved in each of the stages,

I consider that writing is a continuous learning, I think that it resembles the reading process

since, as time, from what you learn and what you study you can have sufficient skills to develop

you as a good writer. Therefore, it is important to highlight that the teacher or guide's feedback
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is constructive for writing and progressively positive changes can be noticed in the assignments

promoting the enjoyment of this process.

My competence as a writer is in process, considering the 4 stages mentioned by Anthony

Seow in the book "The Writing Process and The Writing Process", It is necessary to apply the

stages of writing so that you can have a good result such as we need to find or ask ourselves what

we want to write, focus on the thesis statement so that you can have a correct direction at the

time of reading a piece of paper Also, the thesis not only guides the reader, but also the writer,

since this sentence keeps the article organized. If I look back from the beginning of the writing

process, I can say that I have improved in my writing skills. This course really fulfilled all the

expectations I had about writing in English, without a doubt, I can see the progress I have made

in writing my own assignments

Thinking about writing today is one of my greatest satisfactions because I feel that it has

been a constant work, difficulties have arisen from the beginning, but I am sure that every day is

a time of learning to improve and have skills to become a very good writer. Every process of

knowledge is difficult, but with perseverance positive results can be obtained. "If you want to be

a writer, you must do two things above all others: read a lot and write a lot” Stephen King
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References

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Poisso, L. (April 11, 2018). Stages of Editorial Revision [Flowchart]. http://lisapoisso.com/wp-

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[Alexis Teasdell]. (2014, July 10). The Writing

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Kesselman-Turkel, J. & Peterson, F. (2003). Spelling Simplified. University of Wisconsin

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Smith, B. (2003). Proofreading, Revising, and Editing Skills: Success in 20 Minutes a

Day [PDF]. Learning
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