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Chapter 11—Adolescence: Physical and Cognitive Development
MULTIPLE CHOICE
8. On average, how many inches do boys add to their height per year during the adolescent growth spurt?
a. about 2 inches c. about 6 inches
b. about 4 inches d. about 8 inches
ANS: B DIF: Difficult REF: 11-1 Puberty: The Biological Eruption
OBJ: 11-1 MSC: TYPE: Factual
9. On average, how many inches do girls add to their height per year during the adolescent growth spurt?
a. about 1 inch c. about 5 inches
b. about 3 inches d. about 7 inches
ANS: B DIF: Difficult REF: 11-1 Puberty: The Biological Eruption
OBJ: 11-1 MSC: TYPE: Factual
10. Girls and boys reach their periods of peak growth in height about ____ after the growth spurt begins.
a. 6 months c. 2 years
b. 1 year d. 4 years
ANS: C DIF: Easy REF: 11-1 Puberty: The Biological Eruption
OBJ: 11-1 MSC: TYPE: Factual
11. Gina and David are both 12 years old. Given what we know about adolescent height and weight
growth spurts, which would you expect to find?
a. David is taller than Gina
b. Gina is taller than David
c. David weighs more than Gina
d. both would be same height and weight as neither have entered into height or weight
growth spurts
ANS: B DIF: Easy REF: 11-1 Puberty: The Biological Eruption
OBJ: 11-1 MSC: TYPE: Application
12. Adolescent X has about twice as much fatty tissue as Adolescent Y. What can we reasonably infer
from this information?
a. this adolescent is female
b. this adolescent is male
c. this adolescent is obese
d. this adolescent is consuming an unbalanced diet
ANS: A DIF: Difficult REF: 11-1 Puberty: The Biological Eruption
OBJ: 11-1 MSC: TYPE: Application
13. During adolescence, girls gain almost twice as much ____ as boys do, whereas boys gain twice as
much ____ as girls do.
a. fatty tissue; muscle tissue c. height; weight
b. muscle tissue; fatty tissue d. weight; height
ANS: A DIF: Easy REF: 11-1 Puberty: The Biological Eruption
OBJ: 11-1 MSC: TYPE: Factual
14. Jim and John are both 17 years old and 6 feet tall. What do we know about these young men and/or the
timing of the growth spurt for each?
a. they both experienced the growth spurt early
b. they both experienced the growth spurt late
c. they are very likely to be biologically related
d. neither Jim nor John are unusual given the normal timing of the pubescent growth spurt
ANS: D DIF: Difficult REF: 11-1 Puberty: The Biological Eruption
OBJ: 11-1 MSC: TYPE: Application
18. Why might children from poorer, non-industrialized countries still be growing taller while those in
industrialized countries are not?
a. nutrition in industrialized countries is getting poorer
b. medical care in industrialized countries has not yet prompted a growth trend
c. nutrition continues to improve in non-industrialized countries
d. technology is allowing for decreases in neonatal illnesses and deaths in non-industrialized
countries
ANS: C DIF: Difficult REF: 11-1 Puberty: The Biological Eruption
OBJ: 11-1 MSC: TYPE: Conceptual
21. An adolescent boy is experiencing temporary enlargement of the breasts. This is called:
a. epiphyseal closure c. mammary engorgement
b. gynecomastia d. endomastisis
ANS: B DIF: Easy REF: 11-1 Puberty: The Biological Eruption
OBJ: 11-1 MSC: TYPE: Factual
24. For girls, breasts usually begin to enlarge during the 10th year. The breasts typically reach full size in
about three years, but the mammary glands do not mature fully until:
a. age 16 c. a woman has a baby
b. menstruation begins d. epiphyseal closure occurs
ANS: C DIF: Moderate REF: 11-1 Puberty: The Biological Eruption
OBJ: 11-1 MSC: TYPE: Conceptual
25. While ____ causes the vagina to develop during puberty, ____ causes the clitoris to develop.
a. the pituitary gland; the thalamus c. estrogen; androgens
b. the adrenal glands; the amygdala d. genetics; the amygdala
ANS: C DIF: Difficult REF: 11-1 Puberty: The Biological Eruption
OBJ: 11-1 MSC: TYPE: Factual
28. During the past century and a half, the average age of menarche in the United States has decreased
consistently. This is an example of:
a. proximodistal growth c. a secular trend
b. cephalocaudal growth d. the effects of excessive estrogen
ANS: C DIF: Moderate REF: 11-1 Puberty: The Biological Eruption
OBJ: 11-1 MSC: TYPE: Conceptual
29. What appears to trigger the production of higher levels of estrogen associated with the initiation of
puberty in girls?
a. a certain body weight
b. a particular amount of body bone mass
c. fat cells secreting an enzyme that signals the brain
d. increases in the amount of testosterone produced by the ovaries
ANS: A DIF: Moderate REF: 11-1 Puberty: The Biological Eruption
OBJ: 11-1 MSC: TYPE: Conceptual
30. Which of the following is true about hormone levels in young men and women?
a. they continue to be irregular
b. they lead to mood changes
c. they tend to remain fairly stable for men throughout adulthood
d. they tend to remain fairly stable for young women
ANS: C DIF: Difficult REF: 11-1 Puberty: The Biological Eruption
OBJ: 11-1 MSC: TYPE: Factual
37. Adolescent Y is having trouble getting a date because (s)he is taller than adolescents of the opposite
sex. What might we assume about Adolescent Y?
a. adolescent Y is most likely a male
b. adolescent Y is most likely a female
c. adolescent Y is most likely from a country other than the United States
d. there is too little information to tell
ANS: B DIF: Easy REF: 11-1 Puberty: The Biological Eruption
OBJ: 11-1 MSC: TYPE: Application
41. According to your textbook, both boys and girls tend to be more satisfied with their bodies by the time
they reach ____ years of age.
a. 12 c. 16
b. 14 d. 18
ANS: D DIF: Moderate REF: 11-1 Puberty: The Biological Eruption
OBJ: 11-1 MSC: TYPE: Application
44. Approximately ____ of the nation's adolescents has at least one serious health problem.
a. 2% c. 12%
b. 6% d. 18%
ANS: D DIF: Moderate REF: 11-2 Health in Adolescence
OBJ: 11-2 MSC: TYPE: Factual
45. Which of the following account for 80% of deaths among adolescents?
a. injuries c. homicide
b. suicide d. cancer
ANS: A DIF: Easy REF: 11-2 Health in Adolescence
OBJ: 11-2 MSC: TYPE: Factual
48. The average boy needs ____ calories per day to fuel adolescent growth.
a. 1,800 to 2,400 c. 3,200 to 5,000
b. 2,200 to 3,200 d. greater than 5,000
ANS: B DIF: Easy REF: 11-2 Health in Adolescence
OBJ: 11-2 MSC: TYPE: Factual
49. The average girl needs ____ calories per day to fuel adolescent growth.
a. 1,200 to 1,600 c. 2,200 to 3,200
b. 1,800 to 2,400 d. greater than 3,200
ANS: B DIF: Easy REF: 11-2 Health in Adolescence
OBJ: 11-2 MSC: TYPE: Factual
50. Which of the following is true regarding nutritional needs during adolescence?
a. Adolescents need twice as much calcium, but half as much Vitamin A as adults.
b. Adolescents often do not get as much nutrition as they need.
c. Adolescents need fewer vitamins and minerals compared to young children.
d. Adolescents need less calcium than older adults, because bone growth does not occur
during this stage and bone loss doesn’t begin until early adulthood
ANS: B DIF: Moderate REF: 11-2 Health in Adolescence
OBJ: 11-2 MSC: TYPE: Factual
54. Which of the following is not a typical characteristic of a person with anorexia nervosa in the United
States?
a. European-American c. higher socioeconomic status
b. female d. also suffers from bulimia nervosa
ANS: D DIF: Moderate REF: 11-2 Health in Adolescence
OBJ: 11-2 MSC: TYPE: Application
56. The mortality rate for females with anorexia nervosa is ____.
a. 1-2% c. 4-5%
b. 2-3% d. 6-7%
ANS: C DIF: Difficult REF: 11-2 Health in Adolescence
OBJ: 11-2 MSC: TYPE: Factual
57. Which eating disorder is characterized by cycles of binge eating and purging?
a. anorexia nervosa c. rumination disorder
b. bulimia nervosa d. pica
ANS: B DIF: Easy REF: 11-2 Health in Adolescence
OBJ: 11-2 MSC: TYPE: Factual
61. Research has found that those who suffer from bulimia nervosa
a. have a decreased risk of developing depression
b. are actually less likely to diet than those who do not suffer from the condition
c. are more likely to have a history of being a victim of child abuse
d. are more commonly men than women
ANS: C DIF: Moderate REF: 11-2 Health in Adolescence
OBJ: 11-2 MSC: TYPE: Factual
62. Alexis realizes that one does not have to believe in the truth or justice of something in order to argue
for it. What can we assume about Alexis?
a. she is in the stage of concrete operations
b. she is likely to be at least 8-years-old
c. she is able to use abstract and hypothetical ideas
d. she has not yet mastered the concepts of centration and morphization
ANS: C DIF: Moderate REF: 11-3 Cognitive Development: Piaget’s Stage
OBJ: 11-3 MSC: TYPE: Application
67. Which of the following is not a major achievement of formal operational thinking?
a. conservation c. logical thought
b. classification d. hypothetical thought
ANS: A DIF: Moderate REF: 11-3 Cognitive Development: Piaget’s Stage
OBJ: 11-3 MSC: TYPE: Factual
68. Concrete operational thinking involves ____ whereas hypothetical thinking involves ____.
a. who; when c. where; why
b. what is; what might be d. why; when
ANS: B DIF: Difficult REF: 11-3 Cognitive Development: Piaget’s Stage
OBJ: 11-3 MSC: TYPE: Conceptual
69. Adolescents can think ahead and systematically try out various possibilities in their minds. This is
related to:
a. less monitoring of individual behavior c. a higher level of egocentrism
b. hypothetical thinking d. a greater number of cognitive mistake
ANS: B DIF: Moderate REF: 11-3 Cognitive Development: Piaget’s Stage
OBJ: 11-3 MSC: TYPE: Conceptual
70. Being able to imagine many possible outcomes (for example, in considering potential careers):
a. causes most adolescents to think more narrow-mindedly
b. may cause anxiety in some adolescents
c. usually leads to catastrophic thinking
d. is an example of the classification skills that develop during the formal operational stage
ANS: B DIF: Moderate REF: 11-3 Cognitive Development: Piaget’s Stage
OBJ: 11-3 MSC: TYPE: Conceptual
71. In terms of career decisions, why might hypothetical thinking lead to a sense of loss for some
adolescents?
a. they can imagine failure
b. they fear success
c. they can envision choosing only one of many options
d. hypothetical thinking is almost always negative
ANS: C DIF: Moderate REF: 11-3 Cognitive Development: Piaget’s Stage
OBJ: 11-3 MSC: TYPE: Conceptual
72. Why might a child thinking at the concrete operational level have difficulty with X + Y = 7?
a. (S)he cannot think of two dimensions at the same time.
b. (S)he cannot think abstractly.
c. (S)he cannot think logically.
d. (S)he cannot use conservation.
ANS: B DIF: Difficult REF: 11-3 Cognitive Development: Piaget’s Stage
OBJ: 11-3 MSC: TYPE: Application
73. Why is it a good idea, according to Piaget’s cognitive-developmental theory, not to offer geometry
until high school?
a. Children in earlier grades cannot handle the concrete nature of the problems.
b. Children cannot think of the types of careers involved in using geometry until later in
school.
c. Geometry requires abstract thinking which may be difficult for younger children.
d. Geometry requires conservation of mass which is difficult for younger children.
ANS: C DIF: Moderate REF: 11-3 Cognitive Development: Piaget’s Stage
OBJ: 11-3 MSC: TYPE: Conceptual
74. At what point would Piaget expect a child to develop the ability to understand a metaphor, such as
“You are cutting off your nose to spite your face?”
a. during concrete operations c. during formal operations
b. during preoperational thought d. at the end of the sensorimotor period.
ANS: C DIF: Easy REF: 11-3 Cognitive Development: Piaget’s Stage
OBJ: 11-3 MSC: TYPE: Factual
75. Olivia is worried about her choice of clothing for the day, and is convinced that her female friends are
thinking about her clothes as well. This may represent ____.
a. a personal fable c. the imaginary audience
b. concrete thinking d. deductive reasoning
ANS: C DIF: Moderate REF: 11-3 Cognitive Development: Piaget’s Stage
OBJ: 11-3 MSC: TYPE: Application
79. An adolescent screams at her mother, "You just don't understand me!" This might represent ____.
a. a personal fable c. self-uncertainty
b. low self-esteem d. the imaginary audience
ANS: A DIF: Moderate REF: 11-3 Cognitive Development: Piaget’s Stage
OBJ: 11-3 MSC: TYPE: Application
80. Jeremy is 16-years-old and drives recklessly. He tells his friends "other people have accidents, not
me." This type of thinking represents:
a. abstract reasoning c. imaginary audience
b. personal fable d. utopian thinking
ANS: B DIF: Moderate REF: 11-3 Cognitive Development: Piaget’s Stage
OBJ: 11-3 MSC: TYPE: Application
81. Which of the following is true about gender and cognitive abilities during adolescence?
a. females score higher on overall intelligence measures
b. males score higher on overall intelligence measures
c. males score higher on tests of visual-spatial ability
d. females are somewhat superior in mathematical
ANS: C DIF: Moderate REF: 11-4 Gender Differences in Cognitive Abilities
OBJ: 11-4 MSC: TYPE: Factual
82. Girls:
a. tend to score higher on verbal ability tests than boys.
b. tend to score lower on verbal ability tests than boys.
c. are biologically superior verbally compared to boys.
d. are biologically inferior verbally compared to boys.
ANS: A DIF: Moderate REF: 11-4 Gender Differences in Cognitive Abilities
OBJ: 11-4 MSC: TYPE: Factual
87. Which of the following words is associated with Kohlberg's stage 6 morality?
a. contract c. authority
b. obedience d. reciprocity
ANS: D DIF: Difficult REF: 11-5 Moral Development
OBJ: 11-5 MSC: TYPE: Conceptual
88. An individual is participating in demonstrations and other forms of civil disobedience against fur
dealers because he truly believes it is wrong to kill animals for their fur. At what stage of morality is
this person most likely to be?
a. 1 c. 4
b. 3 d. 6
ANS: D DIF: Moderate REF: 11-5 Moral Development
OBJ: 11-5 MSC: TYPE: Application
89. In Kohlberg's sample, what percentage of 7- and 10-year-olds demonstrated stage 5 and 6 moral
judgments?
a. almost 0% c. nearly 10%
b. about 5% d. just over 20%
ANS: A DIF: Easy REF: 11-5 Moral Development
OBJ: 11-5 MSC: TYPE: Factual
90. According to Kohlberg, which stages of moral judgment are most common among children ages 7 to
16?
a. stage 1 c. stage 3 and 4
b. stage 2 d. stages 5 and 6
ANS: C DIF: Moderate REF: 11-5 Moral Development
OBJ: 11-5 MSC: TYPE: Factual
91. Some studies have found that group discussions of moral dilemmas:
a. reduced males' level of moral reasoning and had no impact on females
b. increased individuals' levels of moral reasoning
c. reduced females' levels of moral behavior, and had no impact on males.
d. decreased individuals’ levels of moral reasoning
ANS: B DIF: Moderate REF: 11-5 Moral Development
OBJ: 11-5 MSC: TYPE: Factual
93. According to Carol Gilligan (1982), women score lower on Kohlberg's stages of moral development
because:
a. women have been socialized to make judgments based upon logic
b. women are inherently less moral than men
c. women have been socialized to make judgments based upon the needs of others
d. women go through Piaget’s stages of development faster
ANS: C DIF: Easy REF: 11-5 Moral Development
OBJ: 11-5 MSC: TYPE: Conceptual
94. Transitioning from elementary school to junior high is often accompanied by:
a. an increase in grades
b. more participation in school activities
c. an increase in self-esteem
d. a decrease in grades, school activities and self-esteem
ANS: D DIF: Easy REF: 11-6 The Adolescent in School
OBJ: 11-6 MSC: TYPE: Factual
98. Research indicates that ____ and ____ are more likely to drop out of school.
a. students young for their grade; those from lower-income backgrounds
b. students old for their grade; those who live in rural areas
c. students old for their grade; those from lower-income backgrounds
d. students young for their grade; those who adopt adult roles later in life
ANS: C DIF: Moderate REF: 11-6 The Adolescent in School
OBJ: 11-6 MSC: TYPE: Factual
99. Excessive school absence and ____ are two predictors of school dropout.
a. being from a highly rural area c. being female
b. reading below grade level d. poor problem-solving ability
ANS: B DIF: Moderate REF: 11-6 The Adolescent in School
OBJ: 11-6 MSC: TYPE: Factual
100. Which of the following has been shown to effectively lower dropout rates?
a. Head Start
b. larger class size
c. authoritarian parenting
d. reducing opportunities for vocational training in school
ANS: A DIF: Moderate REF: 11-6 The Adolescent in School
OBJ: 11-6 MSC: TYPE: Factual
MATCHING
TRUE/FALSE
3. During puberty, the hypothalamus signals the pituitary gland to release hormones that control physical
growth and the gonads
4. While girls add more height during puberty on average than boys, boys add more fat on average than
girls.
9. Whereas levels of estrogen and progesterone remain markedly even throughout puberty, levels of
testosterone vary dramatically monthly during puberty.
10. Early-maturing girls are less anxious and more confident than their peers.
12. Chronic illnesses are experienced by more than half of the adolescents in the U.S. today.
13. Most teenagers in the U.S. do not get enough vitamins and minerals in their diets.
14. Anorexia nervosa is associated with severe weight loss and extreme fear of being heavy
19. The most consistent gender difference in adolescence is that boys outperform girls in math.
20. In Kohlberg's stages of moral reasoning, morality is judged based upon whether or not one follows the
rules.
22. Researchers such as Carol Gilligan argue that males and females have different standards for moral
reasoning.
23. Most middle school students show an increase in self-esteem and academic achievement when
switching from elementary school.
24. Delinquency and substance abuse are linked to dropping out of school.
25. Research has shown that adolescent employment only has detrimental effects on those who work.
COMPLETION
1. ________ is a stage of development characterized by reaching sexual maturity and the ability to
reproduce.
ANS: Puberty
Another random document with
no related content on Scribd:
Edward Rowland Sill, writing of the West for many years, wrote
delightful humor on other subjects as well.
EVE’s DAUGHTER
I waited in the little sunny room:
The cool breeze waved the window-lace at play,
The white rose on the porch was all in bloom,
And out upon the bay
I watched the wheeling sea-birds go and come.
“Such an old friend—she would not make me stay
While she bound up her hair.” I turned, and lo,
Danæ in her shower! and fit to slay
All a man’s hoarded prudence at a blow:
Gold hair, that streamed away
As round some nymph a sunlit fountain’s flow.
“She would not make me wait!”—but well I know
She took a good half-hour to loose and lay
Those locks in dazzling disarrangement so!
“SOLDIER, REST!”
A Russian sailed over the blue Black Sea
Just when the war was growing hot,
And he shouted, “I’m Tjalikavakeree—
Karindabrolikanavandorot—
Schipkadirova—
Ivandiszstova—
Sanilik—
Danilik—
Varagobhot!”
Here Betsey interrupted me. “The deah editah of the Augah has
no need to advise me to read Tuppah, for he is indeed my most
favorite authar. You have devorhed him haven’t you, Josiah Allen’s
wife?”
“Devoured who?” says I, in a tone pretty near as cold as a cold
icicle.
“Mahtan Fahqueah Tuppah, that sweet authar,” says she.
“No, mam,” says I shortly; “I hain’t devoured Martin Farquhar
Tupper, nor no other man. I hain’t a cannibal.”
“Oh, you understand me not; I meant, devorhed his sweet tender
lines.”
“I hain’t devoured his tenderlines, nor nothin’ relatin’ to him,” and I
made a motion to lay the paper down, but Betsey urged me to go on,
and so I read:
GUSHINGS OF A TENDAH SOUL
“‘Oh, let who will,
Oh, let who can,
Be tied onto
A horrid male man.’
* * * * *
A BOSTON LULLABY
Baby’s brain is tired of thinking
On the Wherefore and the Whence;
Baby’s precious eyes are blinking
With incipient somnolence.
“Bimeby, one day w’en Brer Rabbit wuz fixin’ fer ter call on Miss
Coon, he heered a monst’us fussen clatter up de big road, en ’mos’
’fo’ he could fix his years fer ter lissen, Brer Wolf run in de do’. De
little Rabbits dey went inter dere hole in de cellar, dey did, like
blowin’ out a cannle. Brer Wolf wuz far’ly kiver’d wid mud, en mighty
nigh outer win’.
“‘Oh, do pray save me, Brer Rabbit!’ sez Brer Wolf, sezee. ‘Do,
please, Brer Rabbit! de dogs is atter me, en dey’ll t’ar me up. Don’t
you year um comin’? Oh, do please save me Brer Rabbit! Hide me
some’rs whar de dogs won’t git me.’
“No quicker sed dan done.
“‘Jump in dat big chist dar, Brer Wolf,’ sez Brer Rabbit sezee;
‘jump in dar en make yo’se’f at home.’
“In jump Brer Wolf, down come de lid, en inter de hasp went de
hook, en dar Mr. Wolf wuz. Den Brer Rabbit went ter de lookin’-
glass, he did, en wink at hisse’f, en den he draw’d de rockin’-cheer in
front er de fier, he did, en tuck a big chaw terbarker.”
“Tobacco, Uncle Remus?” asked the little boy incredulously.
“Rabbit terbarker, honey. You know dis yer life ev’lastin’ w’at Miss
Sally puts ’mong de cloze in de trunk; well, dat’s rabbit terbarker.
Den Brer Rabbit sot dar long time, he did, turnin’ his mine over en
wukken’ his thinkin’ masheen. Bimeby he got up, en sorter stir ’roun’.
Den Brer Wolf open up:
“‘Is de dogs all gone, Brer Rabbit?’
“‘Seem like I hear one un um smellin’ roun’ de chimbly cornder
des now.’
“Den Brer Rabbit git de kittle en fill it full er water, en put it on de
fier.
“‘W’at you doin’ now, Brer Rabbit?’
“‘I’m fixin’ fer ter make you a nice cup er tea, Brer Wolf.’
“Den Brer Rabbit went ter de cubberd, en git de gimlet, en
commence for ter bo’ little holes in de chist-lid.
“‘W’at you doin’ now, Brer Rabbit?’
“‘I’m a-bo’in’ little holes so you kin get bref, Brer Wolf.’
“Den Brer Rabbit went out en git some mo’ wood, en fling it on de
fier.
“‘W’at you doin’ now, Brer Rabbit?’
“‘I’m a-chunkin’ up de fier so you won’t git cole, Brer Wolf.’
“Den Brer Rabbit went down inter de cellar en fotch out all his
chilluns.
“‘W’at you doin’ now, Brer Rabbit?’
“‘I’m a-tellin’ my chilluns w’at a nice man you is, Brer Wolf.’
“En de chilluns, dey had ter put der han’s on her moufs fer ter
keep fum laffin’. Den Brer Rabbit he got de kittle en commenced fer
to po’ de hot water on de chist-lid.
“‘W’at dat I hear, Brer Rabbit?’
“‘You hear de win’ a-blowin’, Brer Wolf.’
“Den de water begin fer ter sif’ thoo.
“‘W’at dat I feel, Brer Rabbit?’
“‘You feels de fleas a-bitin’, Brer Wolf.’
“‘Dey er bitin’ mighty hard, Brer Rabbit.’
“‘Tu’n over on de udder side, Brer Wolf.’
“‘W’at dat I feel now, Brer Rabbit?’
“‘Still you feels de fleas, Brer Wolf.’
“‘Dey er eatin’ me up, Brer Rabbit,’ en dem wuz de las’ words er
Brer Wolf, kase de scaldin’ water done de bizness.
“Den Brer Rabbit call in his nabers, he did, en dey hilt a reg’lar
juberlee; en ef you go ter Brer Rabbit’s house right now, I dunno but
w’at you’ll fine Brer Wolf’s hide hangin’ in de back-po’ch, en all
bekaze he wuz so bizzy wid udder fo’kses doin’s.”
—From Uncle Remus, His Songs and His Sayings.
Eugene Field, beside being the greatest of newspaper
paragraphers was a versatile writer of all sorts, from Christmas
Hymns to the most flippant themes.
His own personal charm imbued his work, and whether writing
Echoes of Horace or appalling tales of Little Willie, he was always
original and truly funny.
THE DINKEY-BIRD
In an ocean, ’way out yonder
(As all sapient people know),
Is the land of Wonder-Wander,
Whither children love to go;
It’s their playing, romping, swinging,
That give great joy to me
While the Dinkey-Bird goes singing
In the Amfalula-tree!
Once upon a Time there was a Bad boy whose Name was
Reginald and there was a Good boy whose Name was James.
Reginald would go Fishing when his Mamma told him Not to, and he
Cut off the Cat’s Tail with the Bread Knife one Day, and then told
Mamma the Baby had Driven it in with the Rolling Pin, which was a
Lie. James was always Obedient, and when his Mamma told him not
to Help an old Blind Man across the street or Go into a Dark Room
where the Boogies were, he always Did What She said. That is why
they Called him Good James. Well, by and by, along Came
Christmas. Mamma said, You have been so Bad, my son Reginald,
you will not Get any Presents from Santa Claus this Year; but you,
my Son James, will get Oodles of Presents, because you have Been
Good. Will you Believe it, Children, that Bad boy Reginald said he
didn’t Care a Darn and he Kicked three Feet of Veneering off the
Piano just for Meanness. Poor James was so sorry for Reginald that
he cried for Half an Hour after he Went to Bed that Night. Reginald
lay wide Awake until he saw James was Asleep and then he Said if
these people think they can Fool me, they are Mistaken. Just then
Santa Claus came down the Chimney. He had lots of Pretty Toys in a
Sack on his Back. Reginald shut his Eyes and Pretended to be
Asleep. Then Santa Claus Said, Reginald is Bad and I will not Put
any nice Things in his Stocking. But as for you, James, I will Fill your
Stocking Plumb full of Toys, because You are Good. So Santa Claus
went to Work and Put, Oh! heaps and Heaps of Goodies in James’
stocking but not a Sign of a Thing in Reginald’s stocking. And then
he Laughed to himself and Said, I guess Reginald will be sorry to-
morrow because he Was so Bad. As he said this he Crawled up the
chimney and rode off in his Sleigh. Now you can Bet your Boots
Reginald was no Spring Chicken. He just Got right Straight out of
Bed and changed all those Toys and Truck from James’ stocking into
his own. Santa Claus will Have to Sit up all Night, said He, when he
Expects to get away with my Baggage. The next morning James got
out of Bed and when He had Said his Prayers he Limped over to his
Stocking, licking his chops and Carrying his Head as High as a Bull
going through a Brush Fence. But when he found there was Nothing
in his stocking and that Reginald’s Stocking was as Full as Papa Is
when he comes home Late from the Office, he Sat down on the
Floor and began to Wonder why on Earth he had Been such a Good
boy. Reginald spent a Happy Christmas and James was very
Miserable. After all, Children, it Pays to be Bad, so Long as you
Combine Intellect with Crime.
—From the Tribune Primer.
Edgar Wilson Nye, known commonly as Bill Nye, wrote in prose
and also made a success on the lecture platform, as well as in his
newspaper work.
It is now the proper time for the cross-eyed woman to fool with the
garden hose. I have faced death in almost every form, and I do not
know what fear is, but when a woman with one eye gazing into the
zodiac and the other peering into the middle of next week, and
wearing one of those floppy sun-bonnets, picks up the nozzle of the
garden hose and turns on the full force of the institution, I fly wildly to
the Mountains of Hepsidam.
Water won’t hurt any one, of course, if care is used not to forget
and drink any of it, but it is this horrible suspense and uncertainty
about facing the nozzle of a garden hose in the hands of a cross-
eyed woman that unnerves and paralyzes me.
Instantaneous death is nothing to me. I am as cool and collected
where leaden rain and iron hail are thickest as I would be in my own
office writing the obituary of the man who steals my jokes. But I hate
to be drowned slowly in my good clothes and on dry land, and have
my dying gaze rest on a woman whose ravishing beauty would drive
a narrow-gage mule into convulsions and make him hate himself
t’death.
Richard Kendall Munkittrick wielded a graceful pen and his verses
show an original wit.
WHAT’S IN A NAME?
In letters large upon a frame,
That visitors might see,
The painter placed his humble name,
O’Callaghan McGee.
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