The Unspoken Hello

I originally planned to post this months ago, but I felt it deserved more research.

For years I would have women really interested in me for no reason, only to have the next time I saw
them they would act like I had rejected them. Men would talk for hours the first time I met them then
avoid me like the plague on the second meeting. It really bothered me as to why this was happening.

Though programs like DMSI and Alpha Protocol would get me a lot more initial IOIs, I would sometimes
get really odd rejections next time I saw them.

During my studies of hypnosis and NLP, I encountered David Snyder talk about the Unspoken Hello. He
talked about it in a number of his programs, but for never more than 30 seconds. A kind of “there, I
talked about it” then he would move on.

This led me to Kenrick Cleveland and Harvey Kilstein. They put out joint products together called
Unconscious Persuasion in 2005, and a second one in 2009. The 2005 UP was entirely about the
Unspoken Hello. Kilstein: “this technique will get people to open up to you faster than anything you
have ever seen, you’ve ever heard of and you will be able to establish a direct channel to their
unconscious. And no one will have a clue that it has been done.” (UP 2005 12:00 mark). They picked the
Unspoken Hello up from Dobson, a hypnotist.

I watched this and in two demos they showed me exactly what was happening. In the first demo, the
man and woman used the Unspoken Hello with each other. They knew each other from before, so I
didn’t put much stock in it. The second one explained everything. She used the Unspoken Hello, and he
didn’t return it. Her facial reaction was like he had walked over to her and slapped her across the face.
I’ve seen this reaction 40 or 50 times and now it all made sense, or so I thought…

To the technique itself. It is so simple and so elegant that most people will disregard it.

When you first get eye contact with a person, man or woman, they will have a facial movement. Return
that facial movement to them. Simple, right?

The way Kenrick and Harvey explain it, it is like every person has some unique facial tic that they are
looking to have returned. Kenrick showed some weird Unspoken Hellos from Central America and the
ones guys from Jersey would do. They would be pretty obvious to pick up.

I tested this out. I was at a store, the cashier was a solid 9. Early 20’s, not a lot of makeup. Perfect. I was
pretending to look at products while watching her, trying not to be all weird. Never saw a facial tic in 30
minutes and she had at least 20 customers. NONE. I keep my eyes open for the Unspoken Hello in others
but I could not pick it up at all.

I gave up on this technique initially since for some reason I could not calibrate enough to notice subtle
movements on people’s faces. I can read a sign from half a mile but I couldn’t pick up on this Unspoken
Hello.

Snyder says in his gloss overs that it is a simple eyebrow raise after they do it. Hard to return something
you’re just not picking up to begin with.
Life went on, still getting the same “first time we meet I’m their old friend thing”, still getting the icy
shoulder the next time we saw each other.

I eventually asked myself, if it’s unspoken, and we don’t know we do it, why am I pacing it? Why not
lead it? (I know this flies in the face of pacing and leading in NLP).

I started to flash my eyebrows initially with some people as soon as I got eye contact. This was hard for
me as I usually do a head nod (bobble head) when I get eye contact, but it also causes me to lose eye
contact quickly. The results were good. Very good. I was getting rapport at first eye contact. It seemed
to fade on most people after a while. I wasn’t getting the iciness on second contact anymore. I also
determined how to keep the rapport high. Now I do it with everyone.

I figured it out, and it is very simple. Here is how it is done:

1. Get eye contact

2. With neutral or happy eyes, do a slight raise and lower of the eyebrows
3. Smile
4. Profit

They may smile back or return the eyebrow flash. I’ve had ones that look like they had a bad day
suddenly light up like a Christmas tree. To get more rapport during the conversation, salt in the eyebrow
raise when you get further eye contact in the interaction. I don’t notice if they return the Unspoken
Hello, I only notice the results. If you use the eyebrow flash to emphasize key words, it works even
better. It can be used to highlight words if you’re doing embedded commands.

Signs this is working that I have encountered:

1. They won’t shut up (men or women) regardless of who you are with. They will tell you a lot of
odd intimate information about themselves
2. Women will “pet” you during the conversation (especially if you have a child with you. They will
use the child to get closer to you “Dad, why was she talking so much? Do you know her?”)
3. They won’t go away (this one is a problem)
4. Women will give you stuff you comment about, but never ask for: coffee, deserts, sides at
restaurants, jewelry (I always returned it), clothing, etc.
5. Men will give you if you comment about it (if you’re a man): tools, going out of their way to help
with stuff, offer the use of their vehicles, offer to let you off with a warning and an escort to
work, fast tracking information or paperwork, etc.
6. Women will give me a slight “uhhhh” sound after about 3 or 4 eye raises. Hope they are wearing
a panty liner. At this point they will be unnaturally forward physically if they can be depending
on where they are. I’ve also encountered women that can’t form sentences after using this
when I talk to them.

Yes, it really can be that powerful.

Problems with this: they generally won’t shut up or go away, sometimes to the point of being a stalker. I
used to have people chew my ear off for hours. If you use this, have an escape route planned ahead of
time, or you’ll lose a lot of time. At a restaurant, the waitress comes by so often that you won’t have
time to eat. This will piss off the other people in a lineup if the cashier or bank teller won’t shut up and
let you leave.

Other side notes on this:

Only a slight 1mm raise and lower of the eyebrows is the best. If you add a slight chin raise towards
them as well it works exponentially better.

If you have to raise your forehead to raise your eyebrows, make it as subtle as possible. Too much
movement will be like moving the ears (see below).

Don’t double flash your eyebrows. You’ll look like Groucho Marx (no, he died long before I was born)

DO NOT MOVE YOUR EARS TO RAISE YOUR EYEBROWS!!! Their peripheral vision picks up on the ear
movement and it will confuse them. They won’t ask what’s going on with your ears though it will trigger
them that something is odd or off with you.

This will not work if you are angry, your brows are furled and you can’t flash your brows. Same with the
single eyebrow raise (“Oh, really?”, “Seriously?”) or the questioning eyebrow push in (“Huh?”). These
are signs of danger, or that you are a foe.

Other reasons this may not work. You may have had slight eye contact with them and they didn’t get the
Unspoken Hello from you. It will usually work after this, but it depends on how they are wired for this.
The Unspoken Hello starts at first eye contact, even if it’s 40 feet away. Be aware of this.

They may have a different Unspoken Hello than you do. When you raise your eyebrows, they may come
back with a slight head tilt or a lip movement. Return that movement to them. It’s like a negotiation
between the two of you. Then keep returning that movement to them when you get eye contact.

They will sometimes lower their body to one side or the other and looking up at me submissively. I
usually eyebrow flash and smile to this. Trying to imitate that would be too much of a pain. Some
women come across as very submissive.

If you do the Unspoken Hello, with a softener (“I’m curious…” as an example), the rapport becomes
nuclear. Almost too much rapport.

This seems to work better on people who are not secure with themselves. Slightly overweight or women
with some other self-perceived flaw seem to be more affected by this. They are looking more for
acceptance, to find other tribe members.

Ok, what is the science behind this?

Before humans learned to talk, we had to develop a way to determine if someone was friend or foe. One
of those ways is the Unspoken Hello. The Unspoken Hello says “I’m safe, I’m part of your tribe, I’m
friendly, I’m someone that you know (even if you’ve never met before)”. It speaks directly to the
reptilian mind. The reptile is always looking for friend and foe (survival), and if you meet the criteria of
the reptile, you are in. The reptile also remembers if it received it from you before.
Or, this is all BS and I’m just benefiting from better eye contact. Test it out for yourself and let me know
if it works for you the way it works for me.