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PALGRAVE STUDIES IN CROSS-DISCIPLINARY
BUSINESS RESEARCH, IN ASSOCIATION
WITH EUROMED ACADEMY OF BUSINESS

The Changing Role of


SMEs in Global Business
Volume I: Paradigms of Opportunities
and Challenges
Edited by Alkis Thrassou · Demetris Vrontis
Yaakov Weber · S. M. Riad Shams
Evangelos Tsoukatos
Palgrave Studies in Cross-disciplinary Business
Research, In Association with EuroMed Academy
of Business

Series Editors
Demetris Vrontis
Department of Marketing
University of Nicosia
Nicosia, Cyprus

Yaakov Weber
School of Business Administration
College of Management
Rishon Lezion, Israel

Alkis Thrassou
Department of Marketing
University of Nicosia
Nicosia, Cyprus

S. M. Riad Shams
Newcastle Business School
Northumbria University
Newcastle Upon Tyne, UK

Evangelos Tsoukatos
Department of Accounting and Finance
Hellenic Mediterranean University
Heraklion, Crete, Greece
Reflecting the growing appetite for cross-disciplinary business research,
this series aims to explore the prospects of bringing different business
disciplines together in order to guide the exploration and exploitation of
scholarly and executive knowledge. Each book in the series will examine
a current and pressing theme and consist of a range of perspectives such
as management, entrepreneurship, strategy and marketing in order to
enhance and move our thinking forward on a particular topic.
Contextually the series reflects the increasing need for businesses to
move past silo thinking and implement cross-functional and cross-­
disciplinary strategies. It acts to highlight and utilize the emergence of
cross-disciplinary business knowledge and its strategic implications across
economic sectors, geographic regions and organizational types.
Published in conjunction with the EuroMed Academy of Business,
books will be published annually and incorporate new scientific research
works developed specifically for the book or based on the best papers
from their conferences. Over the last decade EuroMed have developed a
cross-disciplinary academic community which comprises more than
30,000 students and scholars from all over the world.
Each submission is subject to a proposal review and a double blind
peer review. For further information on Palgrave’s peer review policy
please visit this website: https://www.palgrave.com/gp/book-authors/
your-career/early-career-researcher-hub/peer-review-process. For infor-
mation on how to submit a proposal for inclusion in this series please
contact Liz Barlow: liz.barlow@palgrave.com.
For information on the book proposal process please visit this website:
https://www.palgrave.com/gp/book-authors/publishing-guidelines/
submit-a-proposal

More information about this series at


http://www.palgrave.com/gp/series/15956
Alkis Thrassou
Demetris Vrontis • Yaakov Weber
S. M. Riad Shams • Evangelos Tsoukatos
Editors

The Changing Role


of SMEs in Global
Business
Volume I: Paradigms of Opportunities
and Challenges
Editors
Alkis Thrassou Demetris Vrontis
Department of Marketing Department of Marketing
University of Nicosia University of Nicosia
Nicosia, Cyprus Nicosia, Cyprus

Yaakov Weber S. M. Riad Shams


School of Business Administration Newcastle Business School
College of Management Northumbria University
Rishon Lezion, Israel Newcastle Upon Tyne, UK

Evangelos Tsoukatos
Department of Accounting and Finance
Hellenic Mediterranean University
Heraklion, Crete, Greece

ISSN 2523-8167     ISSN 2523-8175 (electronic)


Palgrave Studies in Cross-disciplinary Business Research, In Association with EuroMed
Academy of Business
ISBN 978-3-030-45830-0    ISBN 978-3-030-45831-7 (eBook)
https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-45831-7

© The Editor(s) (if applicable) and The Author(s), under exclusive licence to Springer Nature
Switzerland AG 2020
This work is subject to copyright. All rights are solely and exclusively licensed by the Publisher, whether
the whole or part of the material is concerned, specifically the rights of translation, reprinting, reuse of
illustrations, recitation, broadcasting, reproduction on microfilms or in any other physical way, and
­transmission or information storage and retrieval, electronic adaptation, computer software, or by similar
or dissimilar methodology now known or hereafter developed.
The use of general descriptive names, registered names, trademarks, service marks, etc. in this publication
does not imply, even in the absence of a specific statement, that such names are exempt from the relevant
protective laws and regulations and therefore free for general use.
The publisher, the authors and the editors are safe to assume that the advice and information in this book
are believed to be true and accurate at the date of publication. Neither the publisher nor the authors or
the editors give a warranty, expressed or implied, with respect to the material contained herein or for any
errors or omissions that may have been made. The publisher remains neutral with regard to jurisdictional
claims in published maps and institutional affiliations.

Cover illustration: Daniele Levis Pelusi via Unsplash.com

This Palgrave Macmillan imprint is published by the registered company Springer Nature Switzerland AG.
The registered company address is: Gewerbestrasse 11, 6330 Cham, Switzerland
Contents

1 Editorial Introduction: The Changing Opportunities and


Challenges of SMEs in Contemporary Business  1
Alkis Thrassou, Demetris Vrontis, Yaakov Weber, S. M. Riad
Shams, and Evangelos Tsoukatos

2 Exploring SMEs’ Risk Management in Southern Germany 15


Bernd Britzelmaier, Susanne Schmidtmeier, Carolin Weidler,
and Chiara Crovini

3 The Medical Clinic of Proximity: Business Controversies


and Medical Challenges 43
Larisa Mihoreanu

4 The Role of Digitalization in SMEs’ Strategy


Development: The Case of Sweden 65
Daniella Fjellström, Aihie Osarenkhoe, Tobias Pettersson, and
Daniel Tadesse

5 EU Public Procurement: The SME Perspective 89


Antonios Maniatis

v
vi Contents

6 The Impact of Economic Austerity Measures on Corporate


Performance: The Case of an SME-Dominated
Construction Industry109
José Manuel Pereira, Humberto Ribeiro, Bruno Ribeiro,
Amélia Silva, and Sandra Raquel Alves

7 Digital Transformation as a Source of Innovative Growth


for Small and Medium Enterprises in Russia131
Tatiana Kokuytseva and Oksana Ovchinnikova

8 Critical Success Factors for SMEs in the UK Chemical


Distribution Industry: The ‘Brexit’ Effect155
Evripidis Lampadarios and Niki Kyriakidou

9 Integrating Business Model Innovation and Corporate


Governance in Family-­Owned SMEs: A Dynamic
Capability Perspective179
Paolo Di Toma

10 The Competitiveness Challenge for SMEs: The Case of


Târnave Wine Cluster, Romania199
Valentin Cojanu and Liane Tancelov

11 Indigenous Entrepreneurship in Australia: Theoretical


Elucidations and Research Avenues225
S. M. Riad Shams

12 The Role of SMEs in Electricity Markets243


Felicetta Iovino

Index 255
Notes on Contributors

Sandra Raquel Alves is a professor at the College of Technology and


Management, Polytechnic Institute of Leiria, Portugal. She has a doctorate
in Business Sciences from the Faculty of Economics, University of Porto,
Portugal; a Masters in Accounting and Auditing from Open University;
and a Degree in Business Management from the College of Accounting
and Administration of Coimbra. She is a Chartered Accountant and a
researcher at the Information Systems and Technology Management Lab,
São Paulo, Brazil. She is a member of scientific and professional associa-
tions and a visiting professor at several universities. She is a Scientific
Conferences Organizer. reviewer of journals and conferences, and is also
the author of numerous articles and papers, including books, book chap-
ters and scientific journals.
Bernd Britzelmaier is Professor of Management Control, Finance and
Accounting at Pforzheim University. He has written and edited more
than 20 books for publishing houses such as Pearson or Springer and a
number of papers in the fields of Business in China, Finance, Accounting
and Management Control. He is the associate editor of the World Review
of Entrepreneurship, Management and Sustainable Development and
serves as a member of several editorial boards.

vii
viii Notes on Contributors

Valentin Cojanu is Professor of Economics and International


Competition at Bucharest University of Economic Studies (ASE). His
papers cover the thematic area of trade and development: market integra-
tion, international specialization, competitiveness and international com-
petition. He heads the Doctoral School in Economics and International
Business since 2013 and manages the Program of Microeconomics of
Competitiveness offered by Harvard Business School in the school of
Economics and International Business. In 2007, he founded the Journal
of Philosophical Economics, covering areas of interest connected with the
reorientation of economics towards landmark philosophical ideas about
society and modern thinking.
Chiara Crovini is a post-doctoral research fellow in Business and
Management at the Department of Management, University of Turin,
Italy. Her research area covers all the topics related to risk management,
management accounting, non-financial reporting, internal control systems,
auditing, banks and credit institutions. She is a Chartered Accountant and
Statutory Auditor. She is a member of the European Accounting Association
(EAA), European Risk Research Network (ERRN) of the Business System
Laboratory (B.S. Lab.), International Academy of Business and Economics
(IABE), Accademia Italiana di Economia Aziendale Giovani (AIDEA
Giovani) and SIDREA (Società Italiana dei Docenti di Ragioneria e di
Economia Aziendale).
Paolo Di Toma is Professor of Business Administration at the
Department of Communication and Economics of the University of
Modena and Reggio Emilia, Italy. He received a Ph.D. in Business
Administration at the University Cà Foscari of Venice. His main research
interest is corporate governance, primarily the Board and its interaction
with strategic and managerial innovation. His recent studies focus on the
interaction between governance processes and business model innova-
tion, the development of dynamic capabilities and strategy execution.
Daniella Fjellström is an assistant professor in the Department of
Business and Economic Studies, University of Gävle. She earned her
PhD in International Business at the Centre for International Business at
Leeds University Business School, the University of Leeds, UK. Her
Notes on Contributors ix

research interests include information technology in an organizational


context, knowledge transfer and digitalization. Her work has been pub-
lished in, among others, Asian Business & Management, Journal of
Business and Industrial Marketing, International Journal of Applied
Business and Economic Research, Qualitative Research in Organizations
and Management: An International Journal, Journal of Asia Business
Studies, Global Business and Economics Review.
Felicetta Iovino is a Fellow of Business Administration and Accounting.
She has written articles about energy companies and energy policy, which
were published in international and peer-reviewed journals.
Tatiana Kokuytseva is a PhD in economics, deputy director for science,
and an associate professor at the Faculty of Economics, Peoples’ Friendship
University of Russia (RUDN University). Her research interests include
management of innovation development and competitiveness, digital
transformation, high-tech industries, human resources. She has written
over 120 scientific papers, including 16 articles in journals indexed in
Scopus, 12 – in WoS, 98 – in Russian Science Citation Index, and 4
monographs. She has taken part in more than 60 research projects in the
interests of Russian high-tech companies. She is a winner of international
and Russian scientific competitions, a three-time winner of Young Talents
Award under the national project “Education”. Among the prizes she has
won are a medal from the Russian Ministry of Education and Science
and a medal from the Russian Academy of Sciences.
Niki Kyriakidou is a senior academic in human resource management
with 15 years of teaching and research experience. Dr Kyriakidou’s
research interests include International Strategic Human Resource
Management and Development, International Leadership Development,
and International Cross Cultural Management. Her recent research writ-
ing, supervision and international project collaborations focus on strate-
gic leadership development, career development issues and the skill needs
of the knowledge-base economies of European Countries.
Evripidis Lampadarios is a business manager and consultant in the
chemical industry . Lampadarios is also a part-time lecturer in Business
Strategy and Human Resource Management at Leeds Beckett University.
x Notes on Contributors

His professional and academic areas of expertise are SMEs, success and
growth, business strategy, business development, human resource man-
agement, supplier, product and channel management and operations
with special focus on the chemical and chemical distribution industry.
Antonios Maniatis is a Greek citizen and lawyer working as a teaching
staff at the University of Nicosia. He is a course coordinator and tutor in
the distance-learning master’s degree programme in Law at the School of
Law. He teaches the course ‘MLAW511DL Public Procurement Law’
and is the supervisor of a diploma term paper on the subject. He is a
member of EuroMed Research Business Institute with numerous pub-
lished articles in the Public-Private Partnership (PPP) domain.
Larisa Mihoreanu holds an associate academic position in Public
Health Policies, is a Health Technology Assessment expert and was a
member of the Pharmaceutical and Medical Devices Working Party dur-
ing the first Romanian Presidency of the EU Council. After studying in
prestigious European universities, she completed her pharmaco-­economic
education with medical studies and research at Titu Maiorescu University.
She won the Outstanding Paper Award from CRS Jorge Heller Journal of
Controlled Release in 2009 and MEDICS Conferences in 2017. She
founded KCL Guy Researchers’ Society, co-chaired European Complex
Systems Association and co-authored 42 contributions widely cited in
outstanding scientific papers.
Aihie Osarenkhoe holds a full professorial position in Marketing and
International Business at University of Gävle, where he is also Head of
Research. He obtained his PhD in Business Studies from Stockholm
University, Sweden. Osarenkhoe is associate editor of Journal of Global
Marketing. His research encompasses interplay between information
technology and marketing paradigms and application of relationship and
network approaches to study challenges such as digitalisation, urbanisa-
tion and globalisation. His work has been published in, among others,
the European Journal of Marketing, Journal of Relationship Marketing,
Business Process Management Journal, Journal of Business and Industrial
Marketing, Journal of Regional Research, and Thunderbird International
Business Review.
Notes on Contributors xi

Oksana Ovchinnikova is a Doctor of Economics, Full Professor at the


Faculty of Economics, Peoples’ Friendship University of Russia (RUDN
University). Her research interests include finance system, management
of innovation development, digital transformation, human resources.
She has published about 150 scientific papers, including 5 articles in
journals indexed in Scopus, 133 – in Russian Science Citation Index, and
4 monographs. She is an Honorary Worker of Higher Professional
Education of the Russian Federation. Led by Ovchinnikova, 15 PhD
thesis in Economics were successfully defended.
José Manuel Pereira is Professor of Accounting at the School of
Management, Polytechnic Institute of Cávado and Ave (IPCA). He has a
PhD in Accounting from Vigo University, Spain, an MSc in Accounting
and Auditing from University of Minho, Portugal and a degree in Business
Management from University of Beira Interior, Portugal. He is a researcher
at the CICF – Research Center on Accounting and Taxation from
IPCA. He is also a Chartered Accountant, a member of several scientific
and professional associations, reviewer of journals and conferences and
the author of numerous published works.
Tobias Pettersson holds a BBA in Sport Management from Dalarna
University (Sweden) and an MBA in Business Management from University
of Gävle (Sweden). His research interests include management, leadership,
entrepreneurship and marketing. Further interests include football and
coaching. He is working in an accounting software company in his home-
town Hudiksvall.
Humberto Ribeiro is a professor at the University of Aveiro, ESTGA,
and a researcher at GOVCOPP, Portugal. He earned his PhD in Business
and Management Research, at Leicester Castle Business School, DMU,
UK, and his MPhil in Quantitative Methods Applied to Economy, at
Santiago de Compostela University, Spain. He is a Certified Economist
and Chartered Accountant. He is also a member of the Social
Responsibility Research Network, and other scientific and professional
associations. He is a visiting professor at several universities worldwide,
an academic and scientific conferences organizer, a member of editorial
xii Notes on Contributors

boards and a reviewer of journals and conferences. He is also the author


of numerous published papers and articles.
Bruno Ribeiro integrates the Accounting and Tax department at the
multinational company “Conduril Engenharia, S.A.”. He has a degree in
Accounting and Administration and a Masters in Business Finance from
the College of Industrial and Management Studies (ESEIG/IPP – Porto
Polytechnic, Portugal); he is a Certified Accountant since 2008. With
extensive experience in several national and multinational companies,
and within diverse market sectors, he has accumulated many years of
experience in the fields of accounting and finance, covering countries like
Angola, France, Mozambique, and Zambia.
Susanne Schmidtmeier is Professor of Management Control, Finance
and Accounting at Pforzheim University. She is a German Certified
Public Accountant (CPA) and Tax Adviser. She is also a member of the
examination committee for tax consultants in Baden-Württemberg,
Germany for many years. She has written numerous articles based on the
results of her research in the fields of neural networks in the financial
industry and financial accounting in various German journals.
S. M. Riad Shams is a lecturer at the Newcastle Business School,
Northumbria University, UK. He worked in academia and industry in
Australia, Bangladesh and Russia. He pursues research in entrepreneur-
ship, social business, CSR, business sustainability, strategic management,
and stakeholder relationship management and marketing, and has con-
tributed to and edited eight books, contributed articles to top-tier inter-
national journals, and guest-edited for various reputed journals, including
the Journal of Business Research, Journal of International Management,
International Marketing Review, Management Decision, European
Business Review, Journal of Social Entrepreneurship, Journal of
Operational Risk, Journal of General Management, Tourism Management
Perspectives, Journal of Hospitality and Tourism Research, and EuroMed
Journal of Business. He is the founding editor of the International Journal
of Big Data Management, and has led a number of international aca-
demic conference tracks.
Notes on Contributors xiii

Amélia Silva is an assistant professor at Porto Accounting and Business


School, Polytechnic Institute of Porto. She teaches Cost Accounting,
Management Accounting and Strategic Management Accounting. Since
2011, she holds a PhD in Accounting from University of Vigo, Spain.
Her research interests are accounting and management control in health-
care, accountability in public organizations, and business failure predic-
tion. She has supervised several Master’s dissertations and PhD thesis.
She has participated in international conferences and national and inter-
national projects. She has also authored several scientific publications and
has acted as reviewer for international journals.
Daniel Tadesse holds a BA in Public Administration from the University
of Business and Economics (Eritrea) and an MBA in Business Management
from University of Gävle (Sweden). His research interests include mar-
keting in SMEs, customer relationship management, customer behavior
and market segmentation. Further interests include public procurement
and supply chain management. He is working in the public sector as a
procurement officer in the municipality of Hudiksvall, Sweden.
Liane Tancelov received her BD in Economics and Business
Administration from the University of Craiova. She also has an MD in
International Business Management from the Bucharest University of
Economic Studies. She is a first-year doctoral student in the Doctoral
School in Economics and International Business at the Bucharest
University of Economic Studies. Her research interests include the impact
of economic agglomerations and business networks on competitiveness.
Her professional expertise is connected to the utilization of European
Funds in the Romanian agricultural sector.
Alkis Thrassou is a professor at the School of Business, University of
Nicosia, Cyprus, EU. He holds a PhD in Strategic Marketing Management
from the University of Leeds, UK. He is also a chartered marketer and
fellow (FCIM), a chartered construction manager and fellow (FCIOB), a
chartered management consultancy surveyor (MRICS) and a senior
research fellow of the EuroMed Academy of Business (SFEMAB/
EMRBI). He has extensive academic and professional/industry experi-
ence, and has undertaken significant research in the fields of strategic
xiv Notes on Contributors

marketing, management and customer behaviour. He has written over


120 works in numerous internationally esteemed scientific journals and
books. He retains strong ties with the industry as a consultant.
Evangelos Tsoukatos teaches management at the Hellenic
Mediterranean University, Greece, and is an adjunct faculty at the
University of Nicosia, Cyprus, and Hellenic Open University. He holds a
BSc in Mathematics from the Aristotle University of Thessaloniki,
Greece, a postgraduate diploma and an MSc in Operational Research and
a PhD in Management Science from Lancaster University Management
School (LUMS), UK. He has authored and edited books and journal
special issues, published in scholarly journals, and presented in academic
conferences. He is Associate Editor of the EuroMed Journal of Business
(EMJB) and an editorial board member in a number of international
scholarly journals.
Demetris Vrontis is the Vice Rector for Faculty and Research at the
University of Nicosia, Cyprus. He is the Editor in Chief of the EuroMed
Journal of Business and the Associate Editor of the International Marketing
Review. He is also the Founder and President of the EuroMed Research
Business Institute. He has written 40 books and over 200 articles in ref-
ereed journals. He is a fellow member and certified Chartered Marketer of
the Chartered Institute of Marketing and a Chartered Business and
Chartered Marketing Consultant. He also serves as a consultant and
member of the board of directors of a number of international companies.
Yaakov Weber is a professor and director of the Research Unit, School
of Business Research Center, College of Management, Israel. His publi-
cations received many thousands of citations; he got the Outstanding
Author Award, and one of his papers was included in the lists of the most
important works published in International Bibliography of Sociology.
He has served in various editorial positions in leading journals such as
California Management Review, Journal of World Business, Human
Resource Management, and British Journal of Management. He is the
founder and president of the EuroMed Research Business Institute and
EuroMed Academy of Business. He is a consultant to large international
companies, start-ups, industrial associations and more.
Notes on Contributors xv

Carolin Weidler studied Business Administration at Heilbronn


University and Controlling, Finance and Accounting at Pforzheim
University. She works as a Controller and Project Manager for a leading
supplier of measurement technology for industrial production.
List of Figures

Fig. 3.1 ProxiClinic environment 61


Fig. 6.1 EU-28—No. of companies by activity, 2000–2017.
(Source: Authors’ calculations for the period 2000–2017
using Eurostat data) 117
Fig. 6.2 EU-28—No. of construction companies by country
(2017, or latest year available. Source: Eurostat data) 117
Fig. 6.3 Construction: EU-28 versus Portugal, No. (index) and
share (%), 2000–2017 118
Fig. 6.4 Indicators analysed for the period 2010–2014 124
Fig. 7.1 Capsule solution for SMEs 143
Fig. 7.2 Implementation of the company’s business model for
digital transformation 144
Fig. 12.1 Financial ratios. (Source: our elaboration) 249
Fig. 12.2 Profitability ratios. (Source: our elaboration) 250

xvii
List of Tables

Table 2.1 Quantitative criteria (IfM Bonn, n.y., European


Commission 2006; HGB Art. 267) 18
Table 2.2 Participating companies 27
Table 2.3 Research fields and main categories 29
Table 2.4 Research fields and subcategories 29
Table 4.1 Selected sample description 73
Table 8.1 Critical success factors before and after Brexit 166
Table 9.1 Informants and job position at the time of the interviews 185
Table 9.2 Family members’ social capital and corporate governance 190
Table 12.1 Average values for the analyzed ratios 250
Table 12.2 Analysis of the descriptive statistics in Table 12.1 second part 251
Table 12.3 Analysis of variance 252

xix
1
Editorial Introduction: The Changing
Opportunities and Challenges of SMEs
in Contemporary Business
Alkis Thrassou, Demetris Vrontis, Yaakov Weber,
S. M. Riad Shams, and Evangelos Tsoukatos

1.1 Book Context


and Theoretical Foundations
The role and importance of small and medium-sized enterprises (SMEs)
have largely remained unchanged over many decades, and SMEs, dia-
chronically, have been characterized by scholars, practitioners and admin-
istrators as economic drivers, major employers and innovators. The
identity of SMEs, along with their characteristics, attributes and

A. Thrassou (*) • D. Vrontis


Department of Marketing, University of Nicosia, Nicosia, Cyprus
e-mail: thrassou.a@unic.ac.cy; vrontis.d@unic.ac.cy
Y. Weber
School of Business Administration, College of Management,
Rishon Lezion, Israel
e-mail: yweber@bezeqint.net

© The Author(s) 2020 1


A. Thrassou et al. (eds.), The Changing Role of SMEs in Global Business, Palgrave
Studies in Cross-disciplinary Business Research, In Association with EuroMed
Academy of Business, https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-45831-7_1
2 A. Thrassou et al.

competencies, had been considered to be distinctly different from that of


their much larger counterparts. And, consequently and irrevocably, their
strengths and limitations, as well as their opportunities and threats, were
linked to their size and its natural pros and cons. The twenty-first cen-
tury, however, combining significant technological and communications
advancements with intense globalization and significant sociopolitical
changes, has changed the identity and role of SMEs, substantially broad-
ening their opportunities and the challenges they need to overcome.
Roles traditionally held by larger companies are increasingly undertaken
by SMEs; markets that used to be considered simply inaccessible to SMEs
are now just one click of the mouse away; relative notions such as ‘adapt-
ability’, ‘agility’, ‘flexibility’ and ‘reflexivity’ are recognized as key to sur-
vival and growth, and SMEs are, by nature, best at these; and consumers
are becoming more demanding and more specific in their requirements,
with SMEs being all the more capable of satisfying them effectively and
efficiently. Simply, even simplistically put, the world is changing fast, and
SMEs can make their oyster.
In an increasingly competitive global environment, SMEs exert a sig-
nificant impact on the economies of countries (Genc et al. 2019).
Especially in emerging countries, SMEs contribute significantly to eco-
nomic growth (Ongori and Migiro 2009) and act as a catalyst for devel-
opment to drive innovation, competitiveness, ground for employment
and future growth (Ng and Kee 2017), so that they are considered as the
backbone of economic growth in all countries (Ng and Kee 2017). Even
though the size and market share of SMEs are relatively small, they obtain
a competitive advantage depending upon their characteristics (Stefanovic

S. M. R. Shams
Newcastle Business School, Northumbria University,
Newcastle Upon Tyne, UK
e-mail: riad.shams@northumbria.ac.uk
E. Tsoukatos
Department of Accounting and Finance, Hellenic Mediterranean University,
Heraklion, Crete, Greece
e-mail: tsoukat@staff.teicrete.gr
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He kin’ o’ l’itered on the mat,
Some doubtfle o’ the sekle;
His heart kept goin’ pity-pat,
But hern went pity Zekle.

An’ yit she gin her cheer a jerk


Ez though she wished him furder,
An’ on her apples kep’ to work,
Parin’ away like murder.

“You want to see my Pa, I s’pose?”


“Wal ... no ... I come designin’”—
“To see my Ma? She’s sprinklin’ clo’es
Agin to-morrer’s i’nin’.”

To say why gals act so or so,


Or don’t, ’ould be presumin’;
Mebby to mean yes an’ say no
Comes nateral to women.

He stood a spell on one foot fust,


Then stood a spell on t’other,
An’ on which one he felt the wust
He couldn’t ha’ told ye nuther.

Says he, “I’d better call agin;”


Says she, “Think likely, Mister”;
Thet last word pricked him like a pin,
An’ ... Wal, he up an’ kist her.

When Ma bimeby upon ’em slips,


Huldy sot pale as ashes,
All kin’ o’ smily roun’ the lips
An’ teary roun’ the lashes.

For she was jes’ the quiet kind


Whose naturs never vary,
Like streams that keep a summer mind
Snowhid in Jenooary.

The blood clost roun’ her heart felt glued


Too tight for all expressin’,
Tell mother see how matters stood,
An’ gin ’em both her blessin’.

Then her red come back like the tide


Down to the Bay o’ Fundy,
An’ all I know is they was cried
In meetin’ come next Sunday.

A RAINY DAY
By Ellye Howell Glover

I simply cannot understand


Why grown-ups always say,
“Don’t spend your money, little boy;
Save for a rainy day.”

Once, when the circus was in town


I asked Bob for a quarter;
He said, “You’re so extravagant,
For shame; I think you’d oughter—

“Save all your pennies; after while


You’ll need them, silly baby;
For if you spend them all, you’ll go
Out to the poorhouse—maybe.”

And so I waited till next time


When it rained cats and dogs;
I took the big umbrella, and
Put on my oldest togs.

And when they stopped me with the words


I knew of course they’d say,
I hollered, “I must spend my dime,
Cause it’s a rainy day.”

SCHOOL’S COMMENCED
By Leonard G. Nattkemper

Well, I guess I’ll have to go—


For school’s commenced again, you know;
An’ now I’ll have to be polite,
An’ watch my words wif all my might.

I wish the school ’ud blow away,


Or teachers all were sick to-day;
For nen I’d be just what I am,
An’ play all day wif Jake an’ Sam.

I guess us boys ’ud ruther be


The pirates on a stormy sea,
That shoot wif guns an’ cut wif knives,
Than spend in school most all our lives.

I can’t see why Ma thinks ’at school


Is better place than swimmin’ pool;
Or that I’ll learn more in a book
Than from my pal, the flowin’ brook.

It may be so, but I don’t care,


I’d ruther be a-dreamin’ there
How fine it is to be like men,
An’ never go to school again.

My Ma an’ Pa both said that they


Would be so glad when I’m away;
An’ so, I guess I’ll have to go—
For school’s commenced again, you know.
UNDERSTAENDLICH
By Edmund Vance Cooke
(ABRIDGED)

Dhe contrariest t’ing on dhe erd is men,


Aber wimmens arr twice so contrary again,
Andt I am twice so contrary as you,
Andt you arr as worse as dhe worst one too;
Now, ain’d dhat zo?

You like to haf hoonger by dinner, you say,


Aber vhy do you eadt, so dat hoonger go ’vay?
You like to be tired, so you schleep like a top,
Andt you like to go schleep, so dhat tired feeling shtop;
Now, ain’d dhat zo?

You like to haf sugar on sauer t’ings you eadt


Andt you like to haf sauer mit dhe t’ings vhat arr sweet,
You like to be cold when dhe vetter is hot;
Andt it is cold, ach, how varm you vould got!
Now, aindt dhat zo?

How you shdare at dhe man vhat can valk up dhe street
On his hands, yet you valk twice so goodt on your feet,
Vhat a long mind you haf, if I’m in your debt,
Budt if you arr in mine, O, how quick you forget!
Now, aindt dhat zo?

Are you single? You like to be married, of course.


Are you married? Most likely you like a divorse!
Andt if you vas get unmarried, why dhen
You go righd avay and got married again.
Now, ain’d dhat zo?

It is bedter to laugh; it is foolish to fight


Yoost because I am wrong and because you ain’d right,
It is better to laugh mit dhe vorld, up and down
From dhe sole of our headt to the foot of our crown;
Now, ain’d dhat zo?

Zo, dhen you laugh at me andt dhen I laugh at you,


Andt dhe more dhat you laugh vhy dhe more I laugh, too,
Andt ve laugh till ve cry! Vhen ve cry, aber dhen,
Ve will bot’ feel zo goot ve go laughing again!
Now, ain’d dhat zo?

A THURRU’ REST
Anonymous

Examination’s over ’n’ I don’t care if I passed,


An’ I don’t care if I didn’t fer vacation’s come at last!
I thought ’twould never git here, fer the days dragged by as slow
As Davy Jones’s ma, who calls ’n’ don’t know when to go.
Pop says I ort to go to work, but ma says she knows best,
’N’ what a boy of my age needs is just a thurru’ rest.

So me an’ Dave’ll get up every mornin’ bright ’n’ soon,


An’ pitch ’n’ ketch till breakfast, ’n’ bat up flies till noon.
’Cause after dinner every day the Hustlehards—his nine—
Is goin’ to play a series fer the champeenship with mine:
The one behind at dark has got to say the other’s best.
Gee! ain’t I glad vacation’s here ’n’ I got time to rest.

Then I’m a-goin’ to learn the other fellers how to dive,


An’ rassle Billy Potter, best thirteen in twenty-five!
’N’ after supper Dave ’n’ I are goin’ to have a race,
Ten times around the block, ’n’ if I win he’ll bust my face.
That’s what he says! But he’ll find out which one of us is best;
I’m feeling pretty strong now since I’m havin’ such a rest.

There’s goin’ to be a picnic ’n’ you bet yer life I’m goin’;
I’m entered in the swimmin’ race, ’n’ greasy pole, ’n’ rowin’,
The sack race ’n’ potato race are mine, I bet a dime,
’N’ in “the mile” I simply got to win the prize fer time,
’Cause it’s a ticket to the Gym. I like that prize the best,
Fer a feller needs some exercise as well as just a rest.

I’m goin’ to visit Uncle’s farm. He lets me do the chores


’N’ work just like the farm-hands do, right in the fields out-doors.
I’m goin’ to git a bag to punch, so’s I won’t git too fat:
We’re goin’ to have a six-day race—I got to train fer that.
I want to do so many things, I don’t know which is best;
I bet vacation’s over ’fore I get a thurru’ rest!

NO SHOOTIN’ OFF THIS YEAR


Anonymous

There ain’t no Declaration. Naw


There ain’t no Fourth-July.
There ain’t no “free ’n’ equal” law,
’N’ Washin’ton could lie.
They never dumped no Boston tea;
It’s fakey, all you hear,
Fer pop says there ain’t goin’ to be
No shootin’ off this year.

They talk about pertectin’ us


To keep the Fourth in peace;
But we ain’t makin’ any fuss,
Ner askin’ fer police.
We ain’t afraid of smoke ’n’ noise,
Er little lumps of lead;
’N’ why should they blame livin’ boys
Because some boys is dead?

It ain’t my fault the fuse went out


’N’ Tom went up ’n’ blew;
Besides he’s just as well without
His extry ear er two.
They cut off Oscar’s leg, but he
Don’t seem to miss it much;
He’d beat us hoppin’ yet, if we
’Ud let him use his crutch.

It ain’t my fault that Willie blew


His hand off, like a chump;
I told him what those big ones do;
He needn’t ’a’ took the stump.
It ain’t my fault a rocket flies
’N’ hits some him er her;
Somebody’s got to wear glass eyes;
That’s what glass eyes is fer!

It ain’t my fault the stuff was bad


They made Jim’s pistol of;
Besides the preacher said, “We’re glad
He’s happier up above!”
Bet I’d be happier, anyhow,
Most any place but here,
Where they ain’t goin’ to allow
No shootin’ off this year!

HAUL AWAY, JOE


By Charles Keeler

O Oi wuz a loafin’ lubber but bedad I learned to wurrk


Whin Oi loighted out o’ County Corrk along wid Paddy Burrke.
We stowed abarrd a coaster an’ her skipper wuz a brick;
Begorrah if yez didn’t moind, he’d boost yez wid a kick!
Away, haal away, haal away, Joe!

Th’ pigs wuz lane in County Corrk, th’ men all starrved on taties,
But Oi shipped upon a Yankee barrk, and better, faith, me fate is!
Och Oi hed an Irish darlint, but she ghrew so fat an’ lazy
Thet Oi bounced her fur a Yankee gurrl, an’ surre but she’s a daisy!
Away, haal away, haal away, Joe!
O since Oi lift auld Ireland Oi’ve poaked thro’ miny plaices,
Oi’ve wurrked me way, Oi’ve arrned me pay at haalin’ shates an’
braces;
On farrin’ shorres Oi’ve sot me eye on gurrls iv iv’ry nashin,
Me Yankee gurrl hes ne’er a mate throughhout th’ woid creashin!
Away, haal away, haal away, Joe!

—Copyright by the publisher, A. M. Robertson, San Francisco, and


used by his kind permission.

BLACK SAILORS’ CHANTY


By Charles Keeler

Yo ho, ma hahties, da’s a hurricane a-brewin’,


Fo’ de cook he hasn’t nuffin fo’ de sailah-men a-stewin’,—
He am skulkin’ in his bunk, am dat niggah of a cook,
An’ his chaowdah ’m in de ocean while de pot am on de hook.
You can chaw a chunk o’ hahd-tack mos’ as tendah as a brick,
But d’ain’t no smokin’ ’possum when de cook am lyin’ sick.

Ah remembah in de cane-fiel’ we hed pone-cakes ebry day;


Slack yo line a bit, ma hahties! pull away! pull away!
An’ Ah ’low Ah’m feelin’ homesick, jes’ t’ mention ob ma honey,—
She’s a libbin’ at de cabin an’ she’s out o’ cloes an’ money.
While we chaw a chunk o’ hahd-tack mos’ as tendah as a brick,
But d’ain’t no smokin’ ’possum while de cook am lyin’ sick.

O ma po’ neglected Liza an’ her piccaninny Jo,


Ah’s ben roamin’ sence Ah left her case Ah wanted fo’ to go!
Ah’s ben hustlin’ roun’ de islands, navigatin’ all de sea,
While ma honey specs a hungry shark done stuff hisself wid me.
While we chaw a chunk o’ hahd-tack mos’ as tendah as a brick,
But d’ain’t no smokin’ ’possum while de cook am lyin’ sick.

—Copyright by the publisher, A. M. Robertson, San Francisco; and


used by his kind permission.
JOSIAH AND SYMANTHY
By Fred Emerson Brooks

Josiah loved Symanthy


And Symanthy loved Josi’,
Which you couldn’t fail to notice
In the rollin’ of the eye;
But they never told each other,
On account o’ bein’ shy,
’Pears to me!

But they kept right on a-lovin’


Jes like any couple would.
Weren’t no reason why they shouldn’t,
Ner no reason why they should,
’Cause there wa’n’t no p’ints about ’em
Cupid reckoned on as good,
’Pears to me!

Now this love disease is mortal,


’Cause it tackles mortals so,
An’ the oftener you have it
The worse it seems to grow;
More you try to hide the symptoms,
More the symptoms seem to show,
’Pears to me!

Josiah was uneasy


When Symanthy wasn’t near,
An’ he got still more uneasy
Whenever she’d appear.
But sittin’ down beside ’er
Got his joints clean out o’ gear,
’Pears to me!

He put his arm behind ’er,


An’ then he pulled it back
Until Symanthy giggled:
“Guess yer gittin’ on the track
By the way yer flusticatin’;
Kind a-lookin’ fer a smack,
’Pears to me!”

Then Josiah stopped a minute,


Jes consid’rin’ how ’twould be
An’ how best to go about it,
’Cause he hadn’t much idee;
But he knew ’twas waitin’ fer him,
By Symanthy’s shy te-he!
’Pears to me!

Then Symanthy got pretending,


She was bitin’ off her thumb,
But she wasn’t—she was waitin’
For whatever chose to come;
While Josiah’s tongue kept rollin’
In his cheek, like chewin’-gum,
’Pears to me!

When Josiah was persuaded


That Symanthy wouldn’t shout,
Wa’n’t a-jokin’, ner a-foolin’,
Ner a-fixin’ to back out,—
Then he buckled up his courage:
Kissed her cheek or thereabout,
’Pears to me!

Then he asked ’er if she’d have him,


An’ she answered: “What d’ ye guess?”
Said he wa’n’t no good at guessin’;
So she smiled an’ snickered: “Yes!
Since I git ye all fer nothin’
I couldn’t do no less,
’Pears to me!”
When the Squire asked ’em the questions—
On the weddin’-day they set—
Which some people answer quickly
An’ about as soon forget,—
Symanthy said: “I reckin!”
An’ Josiah said: “You bet!”
’Pears to me!

When they took their weddin’ journey


Up an’ down the city street,
Josiah told Symanthy
That he guessed they’d have a treat:
So they went an’ got some oysters—
What they never yet had eat,
’Pears to me!

Then Josiah, sort o’ thinkin’,


Said: “I thought they had a shell;
What the slipp’ry things resemble
I’ll be switched if I can tell;
An’ they look so pale an’ sickly
Kind o’ reckon they ain’t well,
’Pears to me!”

“I wonder how they eat ’em?”


Said Symanthy, “How’d I know?
I’ve eat everythin’ that you have
Ever since you’ve been my beau!
But I’ll bet a cent ye dasn’t
Put one in an’ let ’er go!
’Pears to me!”

While Symanthy eat the crackers


Josiah let one slip;
Said it didn’t taste like nothin’;
Wasn’t ripe; then closed his lip;
Vowed he wouldn’t eat another,
Fear ’twould spile his weddin’ trip,
’Pears to me!

When the tip-expectin’ beggar


Bowed, an’ smilin’ meekly, said:
“Colonel hasn’t feed the waitah!”
Then Josiah jerked his head—
“You can feed on them ’ere oysters
If the pesky things ain’t dead,
’Pears to me!”

—Copyright by Forbes & Co., Chicago, and used by kind


permission of author and publisher.

CHARLIE JONES’S BAD LUCK


By A. J. Waterhouse
(As discussed by little Willie)

I don’t care if Charlie Jones


Is better ’an I be;
An’ I don’t care if teacher says
He’s smart ’long side er me;
An’ I don’t care, w’en vis’tors come,
If she on him does call;
He ain’t got measles, like I have—
He don’t have luck at all.

He never had the whoopin’ cough,


Ner mos’ cut off his thumb,
Ner ever fell an’ broke his leg
An’ had a doctor come.
He hardly ever stubs his toe,
An’ if he does, he’ll bawl!
There’s nothin’ special comes to him—
He don’t have luck at all.

An’ I don’t care if he can say


More tex’s an’ things ’an I;
He never burnt both hands to once
’Long ’bout the Fo’th July.
He never had the chicken-pox,
Ner p’isen oak—las’ Fall!
He can’t be proud o’ nothin’ much—
He don’t have luck at all.

—From “Lays for Little Chaps.”

KISSING’S NO SIN
Anonymous

Some say that kissing’s a sin;


But I think it’s nane ava,
For kissing has wonn’d in this warld
Since ever that there was twa.

O, if it wasna lawfu’,
Lawyers wadna allow it;
If it wasna holy,
Ministers wadna do it.

If it wasna modest,
Maidens wadna take it;
If it wasna plenty,
Puir folks wadna get it.

IF I DARST
By Eugene Field

I’d like to be a cowboy, an’ ride a firey hoss


Way out into the big and boundless West;
I’d kill the bears an’ catamounts an’ wolves I come across,
An’ I’d pluck the bal’ head eagle from his nest!
With my pistol at my side,
I would roam the prarers wide,
An’ to scalp the savage Injun in his wigwam would I ride—
If I darst; but I darsen’t.

I’d like to go to Afriky an’ hunt the lions there,


An’ the biggest ollyfunts you ever saw!
I would track the fierce gorilla to his equatorial lair,
An’ beard the cannybull that eats folks raw.

I’d chase the pizen snakes


An’ the pottimus that makes
His nest down at the bottom of unfathomable lakes—
If I darst; but I darsen’t.

I would I were a pirut to sail the ocean blue,


With a big black flag a-flyin’ overhead;
I would scour the billowy main with my gallant pirut crew,
An’ dye the sea a gouty, gory red.

With my cutlass in my hand


On the quarterdeck I’d stand
And to deeds of heroism I’d incite my pirut band—
If I darst; but I darsen’t.

And, if I darst, I’d lick my pa for the times that he’s licked me,
I’d lick my brother an’ my teacher, too,
I’d lick the fellers that call round on sister after tea,
An’ I’d keep on lickin’ folks till I got through.

You bet. I’d run away


From my lessons to my play,
An’ I’d shoo the hens, and tease the cat, an’ kiss the girls all day—
If I darst; but I darsen’t.

DERNDEST GAL I EVER KNOWED


By Herbert Bashford
Derndest gal I ever knowed,
Neatest gal I ever seen,
Lived down in the Red Ravine
Jest below the county road,
Guess she wuz about sixteen—
Sophy wuz her name, an’ she
Wuz ez cute ez cute kin be.

When I’d go t’ town I brung


Her the biggest lot o’ stuff,
Pop-corn, likrish, ’n’ enough
Candy fer t’ fill a room.
Once she hit me with a broom
Cuz I kissed her on the cheek,
An’ the midget wouldn’t speak
T’ me fer, perhaps, a week.

When I’d raise my eyes to hern


Jeminny! my cheeks ’ud burn
An’ git redder ’n’ a beet.
Oh, she looked jest powerful sweet!
When I’d try to call her dear,
Why, I’d feel so doggoned queer
That I’d lean ag’in’ th’ fence
’Zif I didn’ hev no sense,
Twist th’ buttons on my vest,
Ast her who she liked th’ best,
Ast her if it wuzn’t Bill,
Er old Jones thet run th’ mill,
Keep a-hintin’ ’round, yuh see,
Till she’d up an’ say ’twuz me.

I wuz jellus o’ Jim Pike,


Jellus ez th’ very deuce
Though there didn’t seem much use,
Fer his freckles wuz so thick,
An’ his hair wuz so like brick
Thet a feller one day said
Yuh could toast a hunk o’ bread
Ef yuh’d hold it nigh his head.
He wuz awkarder’n sin,
Never fished along the crick
But he’d hev t’ tumble in.

Sophy ’peared t’ pity Jim,


While I thought if I wuz him
I’d go off ’n’ hide somewhere,
Else put plaster on my hair.
But this homely, lantern-jawed
Lookin’ cuss stood ’round ’n’ chawed
On a plug o’ terbacker
Half his time ’n’ talked t’ her
Of his love, till I jest told
Him t’ mosey, an’ he rolled
Up his sleeves ’n’ landed me
Plumb betwixt th’ eyes, then he
Went to Sophy, an’, sir, she
Married him! The pesky mule!
Wuzn’t she a reg’ler fool?
I wuz jest tetotally blowed—
Derndest gal I ever knowed!

—Copyright by Harr Wagner Co., San Francisco, and used by kind


permission of author and publisher.

ON NEWBRASKY’S FERTILE SHORE


By Herbert Bashford

Oh, I am so orful humsick! An’ I feel so wretched queer!


Ephrum, he has gone a-ridin’ on a wild eclectric keer,
Rhody—that’s my only darter—she has gone an’ left me, tew,
Both a trapesin’ ’round like ijits—wonder what’s th’ next they’ll do?
They don’t seem to think they’re darin’ Providence right in th’ face,
Ridin’ without hoss er engine ’n’ goin’ at a break-neck pace:
Course I needn’t stand here waitin’, both insisted I should come,
But I vow I’ll not be reckless when I am so fer from hum:
Clear out here by th’ Pacific, jist as fur as we kin git,
An’ if we stay here much longer I declare I’ll hev a fit.
It’s th’ most deceivin’ kentry as ever’ one’ll say
Ever’ drap o’ water salty in th’ hull o’ Frisco bay.
Oh, I’ve tramped these pesky sidewalks till my feet is lame an’ sore,
An’ a-yearnin’ ever’ minute fur Newbrasky’s fertile shore!

Then they brag about their scenery! Californy! Humph! O dear!


Scenery! Well, jest speaking plainly, I don’t see no scenery here:
Nothin’ but the mount’in ranges rarin’ up so ’tarnal high
Thet a buddy kint look nowheres ’cept the middle o’ th’ sky.
Mount’ins, everlastin’ mount’ins, hills ’n’ woods ’n’ rocks ’n’ snow,
Where th’ scenery is they’re braggin’ on I’m th’ one as wants t’ know.
Let ’em stand in Lincoln county jest aback our cowyard fence,
An’ if they don’t say there’s scenery they hain’t got a mite o’ sense;
Why yuh kin look fur miles around yuh an’ see nothin’ but th’ flat
Level prairie in th’ sunshine kivered in its grassy mat.
That is scenery—yuh kin look there jest as fur as yuh kin see
With no hills a-interposin’, er no rocks, er airy tree.
Oh, I’ve told my husband, Ephrum, that I’d gallavant no more
When ag’in I’d sot my foot on old Newbrasky’s fertile shore.

Then I’m worried so ’bout Rhody, fur she’s missin’ ever’ day
All her lessons on th’ melojun that paw bought fur her last May,
An’ she could perform amazin’; she could play “Old Hundred” nice
An’ another song beginnin’ “Happy Day that Fixed My Ch’ice.”
Yes, th’ singin’ teacher told me as we parted at th’ keers,
He was shore she’d play th’ organ in th’ church ’fore many years.
Now her notion’s highkerflutin’, a pianner she wants now,
An’ her paw sez he will get it soon as he kin sell a cow,
Sez he kin dispose o’ Muly—I jest told him no sir-e-e
Not fur no new-fangled nonsense—Muly’s my cow, an’ you see
He’s jest got a spite ag’in her ’cause she’s got a lengthy tail
An’ in fightin’ skeeters sometimes whicks it in th’ milkin’ pail.
Oh, I’ll be the gladdest mortal when I reach th’ kitchen door
Of that dear old farmhouse standin’ on Newbrasky’s fertile shore!

No, I don’t enjoy th’ city where the wimmen folks is dressed
Monday an’ clean through till Saturday all in their Sunday best.
I jest like to ketch my wrapper up ’n’ pin it ’round my waist,
Carin’ not a single copper if my shoe-string comes unlaced,
Then go out an’ milk old Muly an’ turn out th’ spotted calf
While th’ chickens giggle ’round me an’ the speckled roosters laff,
Then go in th’ summer kitchen, set me down an’ churn a spell,
Till time comes t’ put th’ victuals on an’ ring th’ dinner bell.
Yes, I love th’ peaceful quiet o’ th’ farm where it’s so still,
Nothin’ but th’ ducks a-quackin’ ’n’ pigs a-squealin’ fur their swill,
Nothin’ but th’ geese a-clackin’ ’n’ the bawlin’ o’ th’ cows,
An’ th’ nickerin’ o’ th’ hosses as they’re comin’ t’ th’ house;
Oh, I want t’ leave th’ city with its racket an’ its roar
An’ git back there t’ the silence o’ Newbrasky’s fertile shore!

—Copyright by Harr Wagner Co., San Francisco, and used by kind


permission of author and publisher.

“FUZZY-WUZZY”
By Rudyard Kipling

We’ve fought with many men acrost the seas,


An’ some of ’em was brave an’ some was not:
The paythan an’ the Zulu an’ Burmese;
But the Fuzzy was the finest o’ the lot.
We never got a ha’porth’s change of ’im:
’E squatted in the scrub an’ ’ocked our ’orses,
’E cut our sentries up at Suakim,
An’ ’e played the cat an’ banjo with our forces.
So ’ere’s to you, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, at your ’ome in the Sowdan;
You’re a poor benighted ’eathen but a first-class fightin’ man;
We give you your certifikit, and if you want it signed
We’ll come an’ have a romp with you whenever you’re inclined.
We took our chanst among the Kyber hills,
The Boers knocked us silly at a mile,
The Burman guv us Irriwaddy chills,
An’ a Zulu impi dished us up in style;
But all we ever got from such as they
Was pop to what the Fuzzy made us swaller;
We ’eld our bloomin’ own, the papers say,
But man for man the Fuzzy knocked us ’oller.
Then ’ere’s to you, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, an’ the missis and the kid;
Our orders was to break you, an’ of course we went and did.
We sloshed you with Martinis, an’ it wasn’t ’ardly fair;
But for all the odds agin you, Fuzzy-Wuz, you bruk the square.

’E ’asn’t got no papers of ’is own,


’E ’asn’t got no medals nor rewards
So we must certify the skill ’e’s shown
In usin’ of ’is long two-handled swords;
When ’e’s ’oppin’ in an’ out among the bush
With ’is coffin-’eaded shield an’ shovel-spear,
A ’appy day with Fuzzy on the rush
Will last a ’ealthy Tommy for a year.
So ’ere’s to you, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, an’ your friends which is no more,
If we ’adn’t lost some mess-mates we would help you to deplore;
But give an’ take’s the gospel, an’ we’ll call the bargain fair,
For if you ’ave lost more than us, you crumbled up the square!

’E rushes at the smoke when we let drive,


An’, before we know, ’e’s ’ackin’ at our ’ead;
’E’s all ’ot sand an’ ginger when alive,
An’ ’e’s generally shammin’ when ’e’s dead.
’E’s a daisy, ’e’s a duck, ’e’s a lamb!
’E’s a injia-rubber idiot on the spree,
’E’s the on’y thing that doesn’t care a damn
For the Regiment o’ British Infantree.
So ’ere’s to you, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, at your ’ome in the Sowdan;
You’re a pore benighted ’eathen but a first-class fightin’ man;
An’ ’ere’s to you, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, with your ’ayrick ’ead of ’air—
You big black boundin’ beggar—for you bruk a British square.

THOUGHTS FROM BUB


By Leonard G. Nattkemper

My name is Bub, ’cuz papa sed


He’d ruther call me so than Ned.
But mamma calls me ’ist her beau—
W’en I am good, I mean, you know.

So, I ’ist hardly knows my name


I guess—I bet ’ist all the same,
I’m papa’s boy an’ mamma’s dear,
An’ I be glad ’ist ’cuz I’m here.

It’s hard to make a name, I s’pose,


W’en they have used ’bout all o’ those
That they have heard or that they’ve read—
O’ course, there’s more w’en people’s dead.

An’ now I wonder if that I


Will leave my name w’en I must die.
I guess it’s so, ’cuz we ’ist call
Angel’s last name for them all.

I’m glad I’m not an angel yet,


Whose names are less than mine, I bet,
Still it must be nice to see
All the folks that used to be.

Oh, my, I don’t know what to say


About my names, ’cuz every day
My mamma finds a new one, too—
I’m ’fraid she’s left no names for you.

The bestest thing in all this worl’


Is, I’m a boy an’ not a girl,

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