Question: Name a poet you would invite to your

school to discuss a poem based on personal

experiences. Explain why you would invite this poet,
by referencing their poem and what it tells you about
people.
Sample A

If I could invite a poet of my choice to my school it would be

Seamus Heaney. Heaney writes with a distinct emotion which
grasps the reader. He writes about things we can all relate to
e.g. Mid Term Break. Heaney is a poet I greatly admire
because his poems are always the most mind boggling but
they can create a clear image of. He writes with a certain
enthusaism in his poems. I like the way in Mid-term break, he
writes about a very personal experience, the death of his
younger brother. Heaney's willingness to talk about such
experiences is very appealing to the reader you know the
emotions he are writing about are real compared to some
poets.

Grade: Merit (60-70 range)

Issues- no references to poetic techniques.

PQE/evidence not used to support ideas which are vague.

Grammar/spelling errors.

It is unclear what the question was based on this response.

Too short
Sample B

My favourite poem by Seamus Heaney is Mid Term Break. In

Mid Term Break Heaney writes of a very personal experience,
the death of a younger brother. Heaney writes from the
perspective of a young boy who is still in shock and doesn't
quite understand the enormity of the situation. I like the way
Heaney uses alliteration to describe the sinuous ringing of
bells, "knelling classes to a close".
My favourite aspect of Mid Term Break is the images it
creates. Heaney describes the scene at the house very
accurately. The platitudes of the neighbours, "it was a hard
blow", and incongruous laughing of the baby. "The baby
cooed and laughed and rocked the pram."
Heaney captures the frustration of his mother at the injustice
of the situation by using adjectives, " angry, tearless sighs."
Like any young boy the reality of the death doesn't hit
Heaney until he sees the body, up until then his brother is
referred to as "the corpse".
The emotion of the poem really shone through when Heaney
wrote about the four foot box. "he lay there as in his cot",
emphasising how young and babyish his brother was
Heaney repeats the line adding " a foot for every year". In that
simple line Heaney captures all of his emotions.

Grade: Distinction (90-100 range)

Excellent vocabulary and phrasing.
Limited errors.
Clear understanding of the question is shown.
Great references to the poem and techniques.
All ideas are supported with quotes/examples.