cham diem theo band ielts bai van sau cho de bai

You might also like

Download as docx, pdf, or txt
Download as docx, pdf, or txt
You are on page 1of 6

cham diem theo band ielts bai van sau cho de bai:some people say that the main

environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals.
Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views
and give your own opinion:Some people are of the opinion that the major environmental
issue in this day and age is the extinction of a wide range of plants and animals. However,
others opine that the world is suffering from many other environmental concerns, which are
more alarming. From my personal standpoint. I subscribe to the latter view while and will
delvinge into both opinions in this essay. On the one hand, the reason why the disappearance
of a particular species is thought to be the most serious environmental problem is that it has
adversely affected our planet's biodiversity. to be specific though the forests are the green
lung of the world, the area of forested land around the world rapidly decreasing as many trees
are being cut down without any restraints. As a result, the amount of oxygen produced by
trees will not won't be enough for humans and a plethora of natural disasters will also be
created such as soil erosion, flood, drought and so forth. Moreover, most endangered animals
die off owingowning to being poached to serve human's needs which has a negative influence
on the whole ecosystem. By way of illustration, if tigers were killed to make tiger bone glue
for humans, many types of wildlife animals would no longer have their predators to control
their reproduction and population, therefore, distracting the natural food chain and leading to
an unbalancedto unbalanced ecosystem. On the other hand, others and I opine that there are
many other urgent environmental issues that need to be addressed on the spot, including
several types of pollution such as soil pollution, air pollution as well as water pollution.
Those are the main factors that cause the loss of biodiversity and result in the extinction of
various species. Specifically, soil and water pollution caused by industrial and agricultural
activities has toxify a plethora of marine species and land animals, which instigate an
unbalanced ecosystem. Moreover, human health is also adversely affected by air pollution,
which causes some severe diseases that people rarely suffered from before such as lung
cancer, chronic obstructive pulmonary as well as respiratory infections . If these effects are
halted and drastic measures come into play, the environment will definitely be ameliorated.
For example, during the outbreak of the Covid-19 pandemic, due to the lockdown
restrictions, many factories and companies were closed down and the people's transportation
and travel was very limited. Hence, the amount of pollution was dramatically reduced which
resulted in the betterment of the environment in the forest together with the ocean and that
was also the first time that Indian people can see the Himalaya after three 30 years being
covered by dust. In conclusion, Briefly to conclude despite an undisputed fact that the loss of
a particular species should be paid attention to, it is the tip of the iceberg, other environmental
issues should be also taken into account.
ChatGPT

Here's an assessment of your IELTS Task 2 essay according to the IELTS Writing Task 2
band descriptors:

Task Response (Band 6-7)

 Strengths:
o The essay addresses both views and provides a personal opinion.
o There are relevant examples to support the points made.
 Areas for Improvement:
o Some arguments could be more fully developed.
o The essay occasionally lacks clarity in expressing ideas, particularly in
transitions between points.
o The introduction and conclusion could be more concise and directly related to
the main topic.

Coherence and Cohesion (Band 6-7)

 Strengths:
o The essay follows a logical structure with clear paragraphs.
o The use of cohesive devices is evident, helping to link ideas together.
 Areas for Improvement:
o Some transitions between ideas could be smoother.
o There is repetition of certain phrases and some awkward phrasing, which
affects the flow.

Lexical Resource (Band 6-7)

 Strengths:
o The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary.
o There are some complex phrases used correctly.
 Areas for Improvement:
o Some word choices are awkward or unclear (e.g., “more attentive than the
extinction of species”).
o Occasional inappropriate word choice or collocation.
o More precise and varied vocabulary would enhance the essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy (Band 6-7)

 Strengths:
o The essay uses a variety of grammatical structures.
o Some complex sentences are used accurately.
 Areas for Improvement:
o There are several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms and
sentence fragments.
o Some sentences are overly long and complex, making them difficult to follow.
o Consistency in tense and subject-verb agreement needs improvement.

Overall Band: 6.5

Suggestions for Improvement:

1. Task Response:
o Ensure all points are fully developed and directly related to the prompt.
o Be more concise and focused in the introduction and conclusion.
2. Coherence and Cohesion:
o Improve transitions between ideas for better flow.
o Avoid repetition of words and phrases.
3. Lexical Resource:
o Use a wider range of vocabulary and avoid awkward phrasing.
o Ensure that word choices are appropriate and precise.
4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy:
o Work on reducing grammatical errors and improving sentence structure.
o Use more varied and accurate grammatical forms.

Improved Version for Practice:

Introduction: Some people believe that the major environmental issue today is the extinction
of various plants and animals. Others argue that there are more pressing environmental
problems, such as pollution and climate change. From my personal standpoint, I subscribe to
the latter view, while also delving into both opinions in this essay.

Body Paragraph 1: One reason why the disappearance of particular species is considered a
serious environmental problem is its adverse effect on our planet's biodiversity. For example,
forests, often referred to as the "lungs of the world," are rapidly shrinking due to unchecked
deforestation. This reduction in forested land decreases oxygen production and leads to
natural disasters such as soil erosion, floods, and droughts. Moreover, endangered animals are
often poached to meet human demands, disrupting the ecosystem. For instance, if tigers are
killed for their bones, their absence as predators can lead to overpopulation of certain
wildlife, unbalancing the food chain and ecosystem.

Body Paragraph 2: However, many, including myself, believe that more urgent
environmental issues need immediate attention, such as soil, air, and water pollution. These
pollutants are major contributors to the loss of biodiversity and species extinction.
Specifically, industrial and agricultural activities have contaminated soil and water,
endangering marine species and land animals. Air pollution also poses severe health risks to
humans, causing diseases like lung cancer and chronic respiratory infections. During the
Covid-19 pandemic, reduced industrial activity and transportation led to a significant drop in
pollution, improving environmental conditions. For example, people in India could see the
Himalayas for the first time in 30 years due to reduced air pollution.

Conclusion: In conclusion, while the loss of particular species is an important environmental


issue, it is only the tip of the iceberg. Other environmental problems, such as pollution,
should also be addressed to create a sustainable future.

Keep practicing to further improve your writing skills!

4o
give an overall band for this essay:There is an undisputed fact that sugar is one of the most
important ingredients making a wide variety of our daily dishes more flavorful. However,
many manufactured food and drink products nowadays contain excessive levels of sugar,
which is more than likely to pose a great threat to public health. It has been proposed that
imposing tax on those sugar-based products could lower sugar consumption. I totally agree
with this notion because of some following reasons. Alleviating the cost of sugar-sweetened
food and drinks can dissuade people from consuming these products because sugary food and
drinks are associated with price sensitivity, which means that its consumption is significantly
affected by its price. In the past few decades, the accessibility as well as affordability of
processed foods and sugary beverages has led to a growing dependence on them. Therefore,
if the prices of sugar-based products are increased through taxations or any other measures,
people are more likely to refrain from purchasing these products. As a result, the
consumption of sugar together with health risk might be lowered remarkably. A further
reason why levying high tax on sugar- sweetened products is a viable strategy to reduce the
amount of sugar intake and ameliorate public health is that it encourages customers to make
better purchase decisions. For instance, if a healthy meal costs less than twice as much as
processed food, people would go to cheaper and better options. Besides, this initiative also
motivate people to opt for alternative options such as making home-cooked food therefore
helping people exposed to a more balanced diets To conclude, levying higher taxes on sugary
items will bring about many advantages to people 's health. It is therefore expected that the
authority will take steps to make sugar-packed products expensive.
ChatGPT

Here’s an evaluation of your IELTS essay according to the IELTS Writing Task 2 band
descriptors:

Task Response (Band 7-8)

 Strengths:
o You clearly address the task by discussing the proposal to tax sugary products
and providing reasons for your opinion.
o Your essay provides relevant examples and explanations to support your
arguments.
o Your position is clear and consistently presented throughout the essay.
 Areas for Improvement:
o Ensure all points are fully developed. Some arguments could be expanded
with more detailed examples.
o The conclusion could reiterate the main points more effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion (Band 7)

 Strengths:
o The essay is logically organized with clear paragraphs.
o Good use of cohesive devices to link ideas together.
 Areas for Improvement:
o Some transitions between ideas could be smoother.
o Ensure that each paragraph flows naturally from one idea to the next without
any abrupt changes.

Lexical Resource (Band 7-8)

 Strengths:
o The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary.
o Appropriate use of complex phrases and varied word choices.
 Areas for Improvement:
o Avoid repetition of certain phrases (e.g., "sugar-sweetened products").
o Some word choices could be more precise to enhance clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy (Band 7)

 Strengths:
o The essay uses a variety of grammatical structures accurately.
o Complex sentences are generally well-constructed.
 Areas for Improvement:
o A few grammatical errors and awkward phrasings are present (e.g.,
"Alleviating the cost of sugar-sweetened food and drinks" should be
"Increasing the cost of sugar-sweetened food and drinks").
o Ensure subject-verb agreement and consistency in tense.

Overall Band: 7.5

Suggestions for Improvement:

1. Task Response:
o Expand on some points with more detailed examples and explanations.
o Reinforce your main points in the conclusion for a stronger finish.
2. Coherence and Cohesion:
o Work on smoother transitions between ideas.
o Ensure each paragraph builds naturally on the previous one.
3. Lexical Resource:
o Vary your vocabulary to avoid repetition.
o Use more precise words to improve clarity.
4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy:
o Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing.
o Ensure consistency in tense and subject-verb agreement.

Improved Version for Practice:

There is an undisputed fact that sugar is one of the most important ingredients making a wide
variety of our daily dishes more flavorful. However, many manufactured food and drink
products nowadays contain excessive levels of sugar, which poses a great threat to public
health. It has been proposed that imposing a tax on these sugar-based products could lower
sugar consumption. I totally agree with this notion because of the following reasons.

Increasing the cost of sugar-sweetened food and drinks can dissuade people from consuming
these products because sugary food and drinks are associated with price sensitivity, meaning
that consumption is significantly affected by price. In the past few decades, the accessibility
and affordability of processed foods and sugary beverages have led to a growing dependence
on them. Therefore, if the prices of sugar-based products are increased through taxation or
other measures, people are more likely to refrain from purchasing these products. As a result,
the consumption of sugar and associated health risks might be remarkably lowered.

A further reason why levying high taxes on sugar-sweetened products is a viable strategy to
reduce sugar intake and improve public health is that it encourages customers to make better
purchasing decisions. For instance, if a healthy meal costs less than twice as much as
processed food, people would opt for cheaper and healthier options. Additionally, this
initiative motivates people to choose alternative options such as making home-cooked food,
thereby promoting a more balanced diet.

To conclude, levying higher taxes on sugary items will bring many advantages to people's
health. It is therefore expected that the authorities will take steps to make sugar-packed
products more expensive.
Keep practicing to further improve your writing skills

You might also like