I'll get back to you guys by the end of the day with all the logistics.

Sargent Terence Jeffers.

Four years ago on this exact date, you told me I was too old to learn how to do the
worm.
I've had on that day to prove you a fool.
And today, I shall.
Check it.
Huh?
Huh?
Huh?
Huh?
Huh?
Huh?
What?
Morpaya!
Bum-bum-bum-bum-bum!
As I was telling the squad, our old CEO Captain McGintley just passed away.
Oh, no.
We're going to Los Angeles for the funeral next week.
I'll have to travel details later.
Hey, is anyone seeing a worm? Because it's funky. Chickens hungry.
Charles, a man has died. Read the room.
And so concludes this year's Secret Center drawing.
Just a quick reminder of the rules. $40 limit of Paris items and no homemade
massage coupons.
Fine. Then everyone will have to pay full price for them.
Oh, Captain, I would like a $40 gift card to any restaurant that serves nachos.
I don't have you, Barolda.
Not only do I know that you do indeed have me, but I also know who everyone else
has.
That's not possible.
Perhaps not for ordinary men, such as yourself, Jeffers.
But for the brilliant mind of Detective Jacob Sherlock Barolta, I legally changed
my name.
It's quite simply elementary.
For you see, Amy made a face I only recognized from our bedroom, which means that
she has Captain Holt.
Charles has Terry. His eyes keep shifting over to him.
Oh, they don't.
Terry looked disgusted, which means he has Hitchcock. Rosa didn't draw a name, nor
did she put one in. She doesn't want to participate.
Never do.
Hitchcock moves his mouth when he reads, and he quite clearly said, Charlest.
I did get Charlest.
Scully has Amy. He's holding his paper name side out.
Oh, he's good.
And I have Scully, which means Captain Holt has me. I'll be taking that gift card.
Daddy loves nachos.
Shall we draw the names again and leave Jacob out?
Yeah!
No, Sherlock, what's the present?
Thank you, Margaret.
You're welcome, Raymond.
Sham is perfect.
That's right.
Remember how I saved the detectives from prison in exchange for a favor?
The time has come.
Wait, this isn't my order.
Why?
This is an omelet. I don't need an omelet on vacation.
Yeah, I don't care what you eat.
I'm here to call in the favor that you owe me.
Billy, what do I say now?
This is you asking me for intel and promising to pay me back.
How do you think this would look to your boss, especially now that you're up for
the commission and job?
Yeah. I know everything.
So, where do you want from me?
A permit to throw a block party?
We don't even have to break the law. This is fantastic news.
I am not getting Sham's murphy, that permit.
He only wants to use the block party as a cover for something criminal, a robbery,
a murder, or something worse.
You don't know that for sure?
And that's your loopholes.
I don't believe in loopholes.
What? Loopholes are the best.
Remember that time when Pancake Palace had that all you can eat deal but they
didn't set a time limit?
I ate Pancakes for a week, for $3.99.
All I had to do was sleep there and never shower.
What? Thanks for the invite, friend.
I will not be using a loopholes for all to.
As always, I'll be using the main hole or no hole.
I choose no hole.
He just said a whole way too much, sir.
And that's coming from Charles.
Yes, that's concerning.
Oh, you think you know someone, Jake?
Unbelievable!
This installation is composed of Constantine's accounts of the First Punic War.
In the year 260...
Ah, yes, the First Pubec War, the sexiest of all wars.
Hi, Dr. Albert Einstein.
I have an urgent question for you about ancient Greece.
Shall we walk?
Of course, Dr.
I feel like you said Einstein?
Yes, that's correct. It's a family name.
What is going on?
Captain Ols, let me just follow my lead.
Your theory is wrong. The Greeks did not climb out of the Trojan horses butt.
Put this on.
A row-sharing headed work.
People will think I'm demented.
Just put it on.
Kevin?
Dr. Einstein, not Professor McGonagall.
Why is a little professor supposed to make...
Shh!
Get in.
Put this card in.
Get in!
Professor?
Get in.
Hello, Kevin. It's me, Raymond Holt.
We need to get you to safety. Your life is in danger.
Brought it.
There was a boss being at a jewelry store in Atlanta that just turned into a
hostage situation.
They want you to be to negotiate.
Oh, my God.
My prayers have finally been answered.
You prayed for a hostage situation?
Yes, I did every single day.
I don't understand. Why isn't he as you handling this?
Apparently, the hostage figure asked for Jake by name.
Oh, yes, it's getting even cooler.
Oh, man, I wonder who it is.
Maybe it's the brother of someone I put away for life.
Ooh, or the identical twin of someone I put away for life.
Ooh, or the fraternal twin of...
We just get down there and take BS with you.
Yep, yep, yep, yep.
How do I look?
It doesn't matter. Let's go negotiate!
Hey, everyone. I'm here.
I'm Jake Peralta.
It's a negotiator.
Oh, so you're a Jake Peralta.
It's a negotiator, yes.
Who are you?
Dennis Cole, ESU.
This was my crime scene before you bozos got here.
Nice to meet you, Dennis.
I've spent 10 years as a negotiator,
and you just took my first hostage situation.
All I've done up till now is talk jumpers off a rooftops.
But that must be satisfying in its own way, right?
Yeah, really satisfying saving a crazy person's life.
Whatever.
Here's a little advice.
I don't like you, too.
Not so much advice as it is a hurtful statement
based on limited interaction.
He wants to talk to you.
Get the hell in there.
Ooh, it says negotiator on it.
This is Jake Peralta.
I am unarmed,
and I'm approaching the building.
You wanted to talk to me?
Keep those hands in the hood.
No way from like you just don't care.
What?
I'm just messing with you, Peralta.
Put your hands down.
Give me a hug, baby.
Judy!
Oh, yeah.
I'm Philip Davidson.
Detective Jake Peralta asked me to drop by.
Ah, the dentist who murdered someone.
Spoiler alert, they think you did it.
Can you show him to interrogation room C, please?
Have fun in there.
Thank you.
What is going on?
How uncomfortable this guy is.
Jacked up the thermostat, got the table all sticky,
made one of the chair legs too short,
and worst of all, I had Gina greet him.
What did you have her do?
Be yourself.
Of course, some of the bitch.
Yeah.
Where are you wearing a tuxedo?
Kevin and I are attending the opera.
Ooh, the opera.
Is it the one Bugs Bunny sings?
Yes.
So, who's this?
This is Philip Davidson.
What do we have on them?
Clear mode of clear means and non-existent alibi,
but the DA won't bring a charge because he says
it's all circumstantial.
If we want to bring this guy down,
we have to get him to confess right here.
Right now.
Hmm, interrogation with a ticking clock.
And everything on the line?
I better call Kevin and tell him I won't be attending the opera.
There's someone else I'd rather hear sing.
Oh, dude!
Hello, Kevin.
I won't be joining you.
Is there an opera tonight at the phone already?
The ticket's under line.
H-O-L.
Santiago, your attest result from the sergeants exam has arrived.
Ooh!
Everybody make room.
Amy needs adequate space to do her signature dork dance.
I don't know if there's going to be a dork dance.
And we'll look how small that envelope is.
That's on a big, good news envelope.
That's a little bad news envelope.
What?
That's nuts.
Surge.
Tell her envelope size doesn't matter.
If I'm being honest, I got a much bigger envelope.
Oh, God.
Unhelpful, Terry. Very unhelpful.
Mine was bigger, too.
Okay. I just won't ever open it.
That way, I'll never get rejected.
Fine. I'll open it.
No!
No!
No!
I open it.
You passed.
Oh, my God.
I need to be a surgeon.
You're going to be a sergeant.
Yes!
Oh, no, it's happening.
Woo!
Yeah.
That's my future wife.
So.
Pigeon's still here?
Yeah, no matter what we do, he just won't leave.
The problem is you're thinking like detectives.
No, I'm definitely not.
When you should be thinking like a bird.
This is Operation Saving Private Pigeon.
On my mark, I will turn on this fan.
Gently startling our bird due east.
Into the file box canyon, where he will encounter Charles holding two potlits.
He'll bang them together, forcing Private Pigeon into the ceiling there,
and out of the ceiling there, where he will be greeted by scary Rosa,
holding a scary picture of an owl.
Now he's playing our game.
He'll be your left.
Into an upside-down garbage can, propped up by a hockey stick
and connected to a string that Gina is holding.
She pulls it, he's trapped, and Terry releases him outside.
Terry hates birds.
Okay, little friend.
Let's get you home to Mama.
No!
Oh, God!
It flew right into the fan!
It's everywhere!
There's Pigeon everywhere!
So, do you recognize any of these men?
I was hiding in the vacuum stall so I didn't see his face,
but I heard him.
He was singing along to the music at the bar.
Do you remember what he was singing?
I think it was that song I wanted that way.
Backstreet Boys, I'm familiar.
Okay.
Number one, could you please sing the opening to I Want It That Way?
Really?
Okay.
Okay.
You are my fire.
Number two, keep it going.
The one desire.
Number three.
Believe when I say.
Number four.
I want it that way.
Tell me why.
Ain't nothing but a heartache.
Tell me why.
Ain't nothing but a mistake.
Number five.
I never want to hear you sing.
I want it that way.
Oh, chills.
Literal chills.
It was number five.
Number five killed my brother.
Oh, my God.
I forgot about that part.
Hey, Charles.
Wanna grab a beer before you go home?
Ooh, a yeast feast.
Never mind.
No, no, no.
I want to go.
There's a huge emergency I have to deal with first.
Oh, no.
Is everything okay?
I have to get a party spot.
Oh.
That doesn't sound as intense as you were making it out to be.
Move your ass, old bitch!
What is happening?
We have to get to right seven o'clock when they lift the parking restrictions.
If the best party works, then everyone wants it.
Get the hell out of the way!
Yeah!
Charles, I highly doubt the entire food truck industry is racing to hit it in this
one spot.
It's not mad Max.
We're neck and neck with rice pudding.
He got grand tacos on your six.
Oh, my God, it's real.
We're on the fury road.
Witness me, blood bag!
Pull on tight!
Yes!
No!
Here comes the bachelor all dressed in my nice jacket.
I only wear for special events.
I carry on fire.
Thank you, my friend and gentlemen.
Welcome to my bachelor party.
This is the Elite Party squad that is assuming the captain is ready to let loose.
The captain?
I don't think so.
I want you guys to think of me as one of the boys.
So tonight, I'll be swapping out my captain's hat for my...
Kangol hat.
Call me Raymond.
Okay, Raymond in the Kangol hat.
I will definitely call you Raymond Raymond in the Kangol hat.
It's the best time of my life.
Mine too.
Sharon gave me permission to get wasted.
She's even putting a pasta pot next to the bed in case I hurl.
Smart.
I'm definitely putting a pasta pot on her wedding registry.
Charles, tell us everything we're doing tonight.
Well, I could take a long time.
I've been planning a special party for ten years.
But I met Amy eight years ago.
What did she have to do with this?
J.K.
I'm happy for you both.
No, no.
Tonight is about creating a bond that will last forever.
Tonight is about the Batch Boys.
You can brainstorm the name later.
No, he can't because I already made Fanny packs.
Well, that settles that.
This clearly says Bach Boys.
No, it's Batch.
You know, like the beginning of Batchler.
I've been working on this for ten years.
Don't ruin it.
Okay, so let's fanny up.
Batch Boys because it's time to party.
Woo-woo!
Yes.
Woo-woo, Raymond in the Kangol hat.
Let's go.
J.K., we're up.
Sorry.
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
I just had to grab my wallet.
Oh, it.
Gentlemen.
Fine, I was trying something and it didn't work.
I am so sick of this city.
I go into a coffee shop and as soon as everybody sees that I'm a cop,
they stop talking and they avoid eye contact with me.
One lady even walked out.
I am just so tired of being treated like the enemy.
Hey, Hitchcock, your penis is hanging out.
Oh, that's your relief.
I can't believe this is a rec center.
It looks amazing.
You look amazing.
Foxy as hell.
Simmer down, Boyle.
No, no, I love it.
Amp it up, Boyle.
Happy, too.
Jake, your body's kicking and skin is clear as a summer day.
Ooh.
Jake.
James, you look beautiful.
But when are you getting your makeup put on?
Y'all, she woke up like the...
Not now, Jake.
We're in crisis mode.
The cake hasn't arrived yet.
Mason woke up with the chicken pox,
so we don't have a ring bear.
Plus, look what I found on my veil.
I planned everything so perfectly,
and now it's all falling apart.
No, it isn't.
Take a deep breath.
All right, we got this.
Terry, Rosa, will you please take this veil to a dry cleaner
and if they won't do a rush job, make them use force.
I mean, we're not going to abuse our power.
Of course not.
We're good cops.
It's just exaggerating.
Rosa, I was not exaggerating.
Great.
Okay, now for the ring bearer situation.
This actually might be a blessing in disguise.
I know that he's your nephew,
but I wasn't super jazzed about Mason.
Yeah, he should be cuter.
His face is too small for his head.
He's a Dick Tracy villain.
But I have an idea for a new ring bearer who is very adorable
and very obedient.
I would be.
I'm talking about cheddar the dog.
Yep.
Brilliant.
He loves responsibility.
I'll go pick him up.
I'm going to go with Halt.
Seems like people are peering off for adventures
and we have the best rapport.
Cheddar, are you crazy?
What about my allergies?
I got your meds right here.
I brought them just in case Hitchcock decided to wear
as to pay again.
It's very clearly not human hair.
Human hair is indistinguishable from badger fur.
That is absolutely not the case,
but that reminds me you two are wedding band canceled last minute
and I need you to find a replacement.
You can count on us.
Flat top in the freak, we always deliver.
Are band canceled?
Not in any way, shape or form,
but it's a very stressful day
and I thought things would go better
without Hitchcock and Scully here.
Oh, that's so smart.
Look, babe, we planned a great wedding.
It's going to be a perfect day.
Phone call for you, sir.
Thank you.
That would be the cake guy saying he has arrived.
Hello.
Jake Paulta.
Yes?
There's an armature wedding.
It's said to explode at 5.30.
Everyone inside will die.
So, that was not the cake guy.
I've just received the email about
whether I've gotten the job as commissioner.
Well, from the look on my face,
I'm sure you can guess what it says.
No.
We have no idea at all.
Just tell us, you monster.
Really?
No one noticed the slight tension
in my labial commissioner?
My lips.
I'm smiling.
Wait, you smiling?
Wait, we're allowed to say labia again?
Wait, you got it?
I got it.
Oh!
Labia.
Commissioner Raymond Holt.
Labia.
You got to stop right now, Hitchcock.
We need to celebrate.
Ooh!
We need music.
Ooh!
I brought a jock, GFCD, for the wedding.
Oh, we didn't talk about that.
It was going to be a surprise.
Our first dance was going to be in a touch zero.
Oh, no.
We didn't get to do it.
I know.
All right.
I'm going to go to the ceiling.
I want to thank you all.
What an incredible moment.
Thirty years of struggle and sacrifice.
But it was worth it.
Because I finally get to read the ten words.
I have a long day here.
Raymond Holt, you are not the...
Oops.
I miss read the email.
You didn't say they're not.
So...
I will not be the new commissioner.
Y'all ready for this?
Jerk Jim!
Woo!
Why is no one else dancing?
Did I miss something?
Feels like I missed something.
I'm just going to keep going until someone tells me to stop.
All right!
So...
Two keys, huh?
That's a lot of snow.
And if you can't have it, we're happy to find someone who can't.
Don't worry about me for what I can handle it.
Marissa, baby.
Go get our guest some of the drink, would you?
We don't want to drink.
What is this?
It's not a tea party.
Gentlemen, please.
Have some patience.
Two keys.
Pure as a Catholic schoolgirl.
Did you bring the cash?
Oh, we brought something much better than cash.
What's that?
Our gun!
And wipe it in your underwear!
Boss Man is gone.
Where'd he go?
Thank you, kind little lady.
Geocasta, you're under arrest.
What that drink now, Hitchcock?
Don't mind if I do, Scully.
Don't mind if I do.
Attention squad!
Put your hands together for the long anticipated reunion of...
DDC!
DDC!
DDC!
DDC!
Put a J, what a G.
You get DDC!
DDC!
What the hell is the DDC?
I don't know, but I love it.
The DDC is the dope.
Denum!
True!
Our 20-year high school reunion is tonight and the party is 90's theme.
So we're dressing the way we did back then.
A.K.A.
Hella fresh.
Can't wait to see everyone we graduated with and lie to them about what I've been
up to for my own amusement.
It's gonna be Fib City population.
Gina Clooney.
But Jake, how can you be excited to return to your high school?
The scene of...
Tatlgate.
What's Tatlgate?
Why haven't I heard anything about it?
It was Junior Year and Jake was riding high.
Yeah, sure!
No one wants to hear this story.
From you, it was Junior Year and Jake was riding high.
Sophomore Year was rough, but now I was back with a hot new look, an earring and
long hair.
Which was my luck and he just copied it.
And it works!
It was finally cool and becoming friends with the most popular kid in school.
Brandon Bliss.
Dope name.
Sounds hot.
He was hot, Rosa.
For the record, he could barely read.
He didn't have to read, Gina.
He lost his virginity when he was 12 years old.
Which is horrifying.
But it wasn't back then.
Back then, it was...
Everything.
He asked me to ditch class one day with him and his buddies.
Steal a school van and go get drunk at his parents' cabin.
But the day before we were supposed to go, someone ratted Brandon out and he got
suspended.
But I was the one who told and from that day forward, everyone called me the
Tatler.
Tatler.
It's a sexy nickname.
It was not a sexy nickname.
It was a scarlet letter and it ruined my senior year.
But luckily, I'm over all that now.
Not me.
I'm going to go to this reunion tonight and kick Brandon Bliss in the butthole.
Horrifying.
But that won't be necessary, Charles.
For my awesome life, we'll do the butthole kicking this eve.
I've got a sweet job and a super smart, incredible life.
Tonight's going to be awesome, right, Gina?
Dance straight!
A-D-D!
C-A-D-D!

C-A-D-D!
C-A-D-D!
Alright, Jeffers, what's this meeting all about?
I've got a full workload today.
I didn't call it.
I thought you did.
Why?
I didn't know such a thing.
So it's neither of you called it, then who did?
Shhh.
Shhh.
Shhh.
Shhh.
Shhh.
Shhh.
Shhh.
That was awesome.
Okay, just stay here.
Wow.
I can't believe I executed that to perfection.
That was amazing.
Gina, what's this all about?
I wanted to make one final grand entrance.
Final.
What do you mean?
I've decided to leave the 9-9.
Which is why?
Oh, okay.
I'm handing in my two weeks notice.
I don't understand what are you gonna do.
I'm not sure, but Jake convinced me it was time to start a new chapter.
It was time to spread my wings and fly.
I'm an angel.
I'm an angel.
I'm an angel.
I'm an angel.
I'm an angel.
I'm an angel.
This is crazy.
I can't imagine a 9-9 without you.
Don't worry.
I have a parting gift for all of you.
I printed time for Gina's opinion hoodies for you with your names on them.
There you go.
That's fun.
So like time for Jake's opinion?
What are you insane?
No.
It says time for Gina's opinion and large text on the back.
And then your names are stitched really tiny on the front.
I had to guess at some of the spellings.
Arnie?
But that's not all.
Over the next two weeks, I will be leaving each of you with a signature Gina
moment.
Something so shocking that it will stay with you for the rest of your lives.
Much like this interpretive dance piece entitled The Lenex It.
This dance will be performed in four movements, each one expressing one aspect of
my personality.
Awesome.
Awesome.
Was that the first movement?
What are you crazy?
No, that's the warm-up.
Each movement is 45 minutes.
Oh, damn.
Hit it!
We're all just like an old friend of yours is back in town.
Who?
Is that guy Neil?
That you punk with that sleep-boy camp?
Ah, Neil from camp was the best.
He could pick up a milk carton with his butt cheeks.
He was so funny.
You know who else was funny?
Bill Cosby.
Charles, we relaxed.
You're gonna love Neil.
It's not Neil.
Why would it be Neil?
It's Doug Judy.
Oh, right.
Someone we all know in a police capacity.
That makes more sense.
Someone's using his signature move to steal cars.
Plugging into the OBD port and reprogramming the immobilizer module.
That's Doug Judy's MO, but it's not him.
He told me he went legit.
That's what he told you last time, too, before he screwed you over.
Yeah, but he returned the diamonds to me eventually.
And it turned out that was the only way to get Giggle pick off the streets.
Wait, I may be confusing our adventures.
What year was the cruise?
Dude, it's a criminal.
People don't change.
Ever heard of Bruce Banner, the incredible Hulk?
You might want to talk to his shirts and pants about people not changing.
Well, I want to ask Doug Judy some questions.
You have his number?
I always make contact through his mom.
I'll put you in touch with her, but remember,
she thinks I'm his assistant, Mangy Carl,
and he's a famous architect who's designing LeBron James' new school for black
astronauts.
Hello?
Mrs. Judy?
I'm looking for your son, the architect.
Yes, I'm from Black NASA.
Oh, my.
I didn't know.
I understand.
Goodbye.
So, Doug Judy will not be coming here.
What? Why not?
Oh, I see.
He is dead.
Hey, sorry I'm late. The coffee guy was...
Assulting your head?
What is going on up there?
Is it bad for answering that question?
Do you currently have a knife on you?
Yeah, several.
Then I love it.
It really is hair.
It's bad, Rosa.
He looked like Edna from The Incredibles.
I'm sorry, don't stab me.
My girlfriend, Jocelyn, has been practicing a bunch of different hair styles on me.
She's in cosmetology school.
Is she...
That's like, honestly, I don't know.
Well, let's get into this murder.
I'm hoping it's a dope one.
Mama Mia, that's a bloody pizza pie.
No, it's okay. I can say that I'm half Italian.
It's not the problem I had with this.
Detectives.
The vacuum is running when we got here.
It's near blood across the entire apartment.
Does it open up for you?
I mean, it's a bloody robot, Rosa.
It's clearly a good start.
But it's going to take more than that to be certified as dope.
Who's the Vick?
Name is Andrew Adams.
Kind of a boring name, not dope.
He's an investigative reporter.
Dope.
What was he investigating?
Chicken farming.
Sharp turned away from dopeness.
But who found the body?
His boss called the cops when he didn't show up to work.
So he was found by officer Daryl.
Officer Daryl?
You're a seriously undopingness.
You got anything else for me?
Jen?
The apartment was locked from the inside.
Mysterious, dope.
And the alarm system was still armed.
Dope, dope, dope.
So hard to solve.
And surveillance cameras?
Oh yeah, tons of them.
We checked them.
It's too easy.
But no one was seen going in or out.
So whoever did this was a ghost.
Yes.
A ghost?
Ah, I officially declared this case.
DOOM!
Do, do, do.
Another cold brew?
Don't mind if I cold-do nailed it.
I am loving this machine that Charles brought it.
It is nice.
The trick is to let the coffee warm off the room temperature.
I'm already on my second cup.
This is my third.
Damn!
The trick is too much!
Whoa.
What's going on?
Charles, why are you talking so slow?
I'm not.
I really am.
I really am.
Oh my god.
If you're not going so, that means we're going faster.
Are we going faster?
I don't think we're going faster at all.
I feel like we're going slower and slower and slower and slower.
I'm not even.
Great excellent.
Amazing.
I hope that I never have a felony in my entire life.
So we're all fine.
Yep.
Yep.
Yep.
Yep.
And now on to new business.
For all to there's a case I'd like you to handle.
Methodist hospital called this morning.
Apparently a 38-year-old investment banker was admitted last night with a broken
penis.
It looks like a-
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
There's a finance guy with a broken dong.
Me think some wolf-of-war street style shenanigans have taken place this day.
And I don't care how old your guess is to how this happened.
Yeah, I bet he dipped in an apilot cocaine, got a real num, and then hit a croquet
mall with it.
Totally possible.
He probably sat on it.
So I got under his butt.
Happened all the time.
You guys are horrible.
And you're wrong because he was clearly driving his Bentley naked, tried to pee out
the window,
and was then struck by a goose on the wing.
Is that what happened, sir?
Was he struck by a goose?
He was actually struck by a female co-worker who claims he attempted to sexually
assault her.
I really wish you had stopped us before we started guessing.
I'm not responsible for that.
Now, due to the sensitive subject matter, I think it makes sense to pardon a
brawler with-
Me?
Because I'm the best at sex?
No, his cock.
In fact, you know what?
This isn't your week.
Why don't you take a few days off?
Sweet.
Have fun working cucks?
What?
Captain, I'd like to work the case with Jake.
I have the time.
I'm three weeks ahead on my paperwork.
Fine.
Santiago and Peralta, talk to the both parties.
Get to the bottom of this broken penis.
Wait.
I just want to say I think it's sad that we as a society can no longer laugh at the
phrase broken penis.
And it is my dream that we one day shall again.
Team broken penis on three.
One, two, three.
Broken penis!
Yeah, I probably shouldn't have seen that coming.
Sir, do you want to just see me?
Yes, I have an assignment for you.
I'm afraid it's not a pleasant one.
Oh, my God.
Please tell me it's not.
Yes.
It's Hitchcock-related.
Son of a bitch.
Detective Hitchcock has sent a testifying court this afternoon.
It's an important case.
And I'd rather not get another call from the DA saying he showed up,
quote, covered in condiments, uncourse.
So you want me to keep Hitchcock from spilling on himself for the rest of the day?
We both know that's impossible.
I'm counting on you.
I won't do it.
There's nobody else I trust.
What you're asking is insane.
I'm not asking.
It's a suicide mission.
Suicide mission.
Prepare for death.
You've lost your mind.
This is a direct order detective.
Get in line.
Hey.
You guys startled Hitchcock.
He spilled two full jars of spaghetti sauce on himself.
Thanks a lot, fellas.
So I call Nikolas who cares if you're bad at skateboarding.
When you grow up, nobody thinks skateboarders are cool.
What's cool is hemming your own pants.
Sure.
Jake, you seem distracted.
You're agreeing with everything I'm saying.
We should go on a month-long couples vacation.
You and me mean my dad.
Yeah.
Yeah, fine, whatever.
We should get matching hats to say best but one and best but two.
We should wear them all the time.
For sure.
Charles, don't look behind you, but I think we're being followed.
I saw this guy when we were leaving the precinct and he was in line at lunch,
and now he's right behind us.
Is it someone you were arrested?
I don't recognize him, but judging by the head to toe,
Denna might say he's either not American or deeply American.
I'm thinking Ukraine or Kentucky.
Well, should we call it in?
No.
I've got a better idea.
Hi there.
Who are you and why are you following me?
I'm not following you.
I come for Charles' boil.
Hey, hey, hey!
We can see it.
Chill out, bro.
It's not gun.
It's just a toy.
No shit.
Pretty place.
It's gift.
From Nikolash.
Nikolash.
How do you know Charles' son?
My name is Gintars.
From Latvia.
I am Nikolash's birthfather.
Ohhhh!
Nikolash's birthfather.
I never hoped to meet.
Very cool.
Cochwhat.
Battles.
Boyl.
Bolpan.
What are you doing?
Battles.
Boyl.
Bangers.
Bension.
Beholdules.
Brooklyn Buddies.
Boyle, Bllpan.
Battle.
Beautiful.
Brave, bro.
Be brave.
Bull.
Bulldog.
Booya.
Babushka.
Babushka.