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Full download The Mentoring Manual - Your Step By Step Guide To Being A Better Mentor Julie Starr file pdf all chapter on 2024
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As a mentor you must be many things: role model, expert, “A clear, pragmatic and accessible guide for mentors.”
advocate, cheerleader, enforcer and friend. Plus you must Professor David Clutterbuck, author, speaker, and co-founder
make a positive, lasting difference to the knowledge, skills of the European Mentoring and Coaching Council
and prospects of your mentee.
entoring
this highly practical book will show you how mentoring works.
It will take you step-by-step through everything you need to
know and do, and show you how both parties can get the
best from the relationship.
JULIE STARR
Get the most from mentoring: help your mentee,
develop your skills and make a positive difference
£14.99
BUSINESS
ISBN 978-1-292-01789-1
Your step by step guide
to being a better mentor
Cover design: Rob Day
The Coaching Manual demystifies the full coaching process, from first
step to final meeting. This is the complete guide to coaching and
includes models, perspectives, skills, case studies, tips and advice.
Julie Starr
The right of Julie Starr to be identified as author of this work has been asserted by her
in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
Pearson Education is not responsible for the content of third-party internet sites.
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
18 17 16 15 14
NOTE THAT ANY PAGE CROSS REFERENCES REFER TO THE PRINT EDITION
Author’s acknowledgements x
Introduction xi
Appendices 185
Index 201
vii
ix
xi
First let’s take a quick look at how you can get the most from the
book.
xii
xiii
knowledge, or pick up some handy hints and tips, then you are
likely to do only that. However, if you acknowledge that this
topic is one you are willing to look into with an open mind, you
might reveal more about yourself than you expected.
xiv
Reflection questions
These are a series of questions to help you link ideas spe-
cifically to your own situation and reflect on them to gain
personal insight. You can write down your answers, speak
them out loud, or just pause and think them through. The
important thing to remember is that the questions are
intended to provoke thought and action. By pausing and
attending to the questions, you’re letting the book go to
work for you.
Checklists
These are quick summaries of points to confirm your
understanding and also serve as memory joggers for future
reference – for example, to remind you of things you can
do to build respect in the relationship, or how you’ll know
you’ve had a constructive first session.
xv
Story Teller
These are fictional examples to illustrate a principle or
idea and use imaginary situations and people. They are
inspired by my own work in this area, and are sometimes
real situations combined to use features of both/all of
them. Here I am also demonstrating a key technique you
can use to mentor others, namely to tell stories from your
own experience.
Exercise
At intervals, you’ll be asked to try an approach or rou-
tine in a situation, such as an everyday conversation. This
is where you will begin to make progress on your ability
to mentor others more effectively. Some exercises will be
straightforward and help you confirm your understand-
ing, while others will challenge you to do something a
little further from your comfort zone.
xvi
Chapter summary
Becoming an effective mentor requires us to stay as engaged in
our own development and learning as we hope the people we
intend to mentor will. As in life, you will get out of this book
what you put into it and that’s a good thing, because it gives
you the direct ability to influence your own results, success and
enjoyment. You already have existing ability and potential to
be a great mentor for others – all you need to do is explore and
build on that.
xvii
“If thou turn away thy foot from the Sabbath, from doing thy
pleasure on my holy day; and call the Sabbath a delight, the
holy of the Lord, honorable; and shalt honor him, not doing
thine own ways, nor finding thine own pleasure, nor speaking
thine own words: then shalt thou delight thyself in the Lord;
and I will cause thee to ride upon the high places of the earth,
and feed thee with the heritage of Jacob thy father; for the
mouth of the Lord hath spoken it.”[215]
“In thee have they set light by father and mother: in the
midst of thee have they dealt by oppression with the stranger:
in thee have they vexed the fatherless and the widow. Thou
hast despised mine holy things, and hast profaned my
Sabbaths.... Her priests have violated my law, and have
profaned mine holy things: they have put no difference
between the holy and profane, neither have they showed
difference between the unclean and the clean, and have hid
their eyes from my Sabbaths, and I am profaned among
them.... Moreover this they have done unto me: they have
defiled my sanctuary in the same day, and have profaned my
Sabbaths. For when they had slain their children to their idols,
then they came the same day into my sanctuary to profane it;
and, lo, thus have they done in the midst of mine house.”[221]
“Thus saith the Lord God: The gate of the inner court that
looketh toward the east, shall be shut the six working days;
but on the Sabbath it shall be opened, and in the day of the
new moon it shall be opened.”[228]
Six days of the week are by divine inspiration called “the six
working days;” the seventh is called the Sabbath of the Lord. Who
shall dare confound this marked distinction?
After the Jews had returned from their captivity in Babylon, and
had restored their temple and city, in a solemn assembly of the
whole people they recount in an address to the Most High all the
great events of God’s providence in their past history. Thus they
testify respecting the Sabbath:—
“Thou camest down also upon Mount Sinai, and spakest
with them from heaven, and gavest them right judgments, and
true laws, good statutes and commandments: and madest
known unto them thy holy Sabbath, and commandest them
precepts, statutes, and laws, by the hand of Moses thy
servant.”[229]
Thus were all the people reminded of the great events of Mount
Sinai—the giving of the ten words of the law of God, and the making
known of his holy Sabbath. So deeply impressed was the whole
congregation with the effect of their former disobedience, that they
entered into a solemn covenant to obey God.[230] They pledged
themselves to each other thus:—
Yet were some martyred after this for observing the Sabbath. Thus
we read:—
“And others, that had run together into caves near by, to
keep the Sabbath day secretly, being discovered to Philip,
were all burnt together, because they made a conscience to
help themselves for the honor of the most sacred day.”[239]
After this the Hebrews being attacked upon the Sabbath by their
enemies, defeated them with much slaughter.[241]
About b. c. 63, Jerusalem was besieged and taken by Pompey,
the general of the Romans. To do this, it was necessary to fill an
immense ditch, and to raise against the city a bank on which to place
the engines of assault. Thus Josephus relates the event:—
“And had it not been our practice, from the days of our
forefathers, to rest on the seventh day, this bank could never
have been perfected, by reason of the opposition the Jews
would have made; for though our law gives us leave then to
defend ourselves against those that begin to fight with us, and
assault us, yet does it not permit us to meddle with our
enemies while they do anything else. Which thing when the
Romans understood, on those days which we call Sabbaths,
they threw nothing at the Jews, nor came to any pitched battle
with them, but raised up their earthen banks, and brought
their engines into such forwardness, that they might do
execution the next days.”[242]
“But he, passing through the midst of them, went his way,
and came down to Capernaum, a city of Galilee, and taught
them on the Sabbath days. And they were astonished at his
doctrine; for his word was with power. And in the synagogue
there was a man which had a spirit of an unclean devil; and
he cried out with a loud voice, saying, Let us alone; what have
we to do with thee, thou Jesus of Nazareth; art thou come to
destroy us? I know thee who thou art; the Holy One of God.
And Jesus rebuked him, saying, Hold thy peace, and come
out of him. And when the devil had thrown him in the midst,
he came out of him, and hurt him not. And they were all
amazed, and spake among themselves, saying, What a word
is this! for with authority and power he commandeth the
unclean spirits, and they come out. And the fame of him went
out into every place of the country round about. And he arose
out of the synagogue, and entered into Simon’s house. And
Simon’s wife’s mother was taken with a great fever; and they
besought him for her. And he stood over her, and rebuked the
fever; and it left her; and immediately she arose and
ministered unto them.”[247]
These miracles are the first which stand upon record as performed
by the Saviour upon the Sabbath. But the strictness of Jewish views
relative to the Sabbath is seen in that they waited till sunset, that is,
till the Sabbath was passed,[248] before they brought the sick to be
healed. Thus it is added:—
“And at even when the sun did set, they brought unto him
all that were diseased, and them that were possessed with
devils. And all the city was gathered together at the door. And
he healed many that were sick of divers diseases, and cast
out many devils; and suffered not the devils to speak,
because they knew him.”[249]
“At that time Jesus went on the Sabbath day through the
corn; and his disciples were an hungered, and began to pluck
the ears of corn, and to eat. But when the Pharisees saw it,
they said unto him, Behold thy disciples do that which is not
lawful to do upon the Sabbath day. But he said unto them,
Have ye not read what David did, when he was an hungered,
and they that were with him; how he entered into the house of
God, and did eat the shew-bread, which was not lawful for
him to eat, neither for them which were with him, but only for
the priests? Or have ye not read in the law, how that on the
Sabbath day the priests in the temple profane the Sabbath,
and are blameless? But I say unto you that in this place is one
greater than the temple. But if ye had known what this
meaneth, I will have mercy and not sacrifice, ye would not
have condemned the guiltless. For the Son of man is Lord
even of the Sabbath day.”[250]
“And he said unto them, The Sabbath was made for man,
and not man for the Sabbath; therefore the Son of man is
Lord also of the Sabbath.”[251]
What was the act that caused this madness of the Pharisees? On
the part of the Saviour, it was a word; on the part of the man, it was
the act of stretching out his arm. Did the law of the Sabbath forbid
either of these things? No one can affirm such a thing. But the
Saviour had publicly transgressed that tradition of the Pharisees that
forbade the doing of anything whatever toward the healing of the sick
upon the Sabbath. And how necessary that such a wicked tradition
should be swept away, if the Sabbath itself was to be preserved for
man. But the Pharisees were filled with such madness that they went
out of the synagogue and consulted how they might destroy the
Saviour. Yet Jesus only acted in behalf of the Sabbath in setting
aside those traditions by which they had perverted it.
After this, our Lord returned into his own country, and thus we read
of him:—
Not far from this time we find the Saviour at Jerusalem, and the
following miracle was performed upon the Sabbath:—