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Posted by Imago Relationships North America presenters and
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 The Art of Being in a Loving Adult Learn more
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about...
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:
 What ARE you looking for in a potential
partner? For many of you, it may be easier to
come up with a list of things you know you
don't want than what you are looking for in a
potential partner ...and we can start there.

Many people are often not aware of how we are

attracted to our partners and that most of it is
an unconscious process. Imago Relationship
Therapy, developed by Harville Hendrix, PhD
and Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD, states that we
are attracted to our early caretakers' positive
and negative traits and search for those same
traits in our potential partners. This explains
that when we find our partner, we often feel "at
home" with them, as it feels familiar to us.
:
 As humans, we are wired for connection, and it
is within relationships that we grow and learn
about both ourselves and our partners as we
continue to make sense of the world around us.
We essentially hire our partner to be the
person who both triggers our wounding and
who is also the very person who can help us
heal from those triggers. This is the premise of
the work we do as Imago Relationship
Therapists and why I love the work I do.

Now that I've given you a small glimpse into a

partner's unconscious selection let's turn to
the conscious factors we can control. When
you list the traits or qualities you are NOT
looking for, do you come up with a list that can
span two to three pages in length? If so, that's
not surprising. Why is it more challenging to
pinpoint what you ARE looking for specifically?

[Read More...]

Neurodiverse Marriage:
How to Love a Partner
with Autism
:
 On my first date with my husband — we've been
partners now for 28 years – he asked me, "Are
we on a date?" And the second date, he asked,
"Are we still dating?"

I thought it was so sweet and endearing then.

It took me nearly 17 years to realize what was
going on was typical of someone with
Asperger's syndrome (AS). The syndrome
wasn't even a diagnosis back then. Today it is
considered a high-functioning form of autism.

Aspergers presents in myriad ways, including

an obsession with details, social awkwardness,
a seeming inability to recognize others'
feelings or reactions, and a flat, outward
expression with few physical cues about what
the AS person feels.
:
 I had no clue about this when I fell in love with
my husband. I just found his lack of drama and
histrionics calming, a welcome relief from my
own family's constant antics and
manipulations. He balanced me nicely: I was
outgoing and verbally engaging, and he was
quiet with no problem of being alone. I was
animated. He was peaceful.

It wasn't until we decided to move in together

that I began to feel the tension around how
truly di"erent we were from one another. At
the time, I had a dusty and cluttered little
apartment. My husband had a big house with a
living room that looked to me like a hotel lobby
— Georgian-style chairs carefully chosen for
their shape and upholstery, tables placed just
so. He wouldn't allow me to put any of my stu"
anywhere outside of a single room he had
designated as mine... I wasn't allowed even to
put a nail in a wall!

[Read More...]

The Art of Being in a

Loving Adult Relationship
- Six Essential Skills
:
 Many people experience di#culty in adult
romantic relationships, even when they do very
well in work or friendship relationships. In a
romantic relationship, you can find yourself
feeling emotional extremes that simply do not
exist in any other area of your life.

You may experience extreme emotions, such

as:

Intense love and connection

Intense rage

Suspiciousness

Disappointment

Fear of Abandonment

Neediness
:
 Entitlement

Most mental health experts agree that feeling

these deep emotions are related to your early
childhood bonds experienced from family life.
These are deeply ingrained emotional
memories, and they can emerge when you
least expect them. Sometimes it can be a
nuance or a tone in your partner's voice with
an intensity that reminds you more realistically
of your past relationships.

[Read more...]

Forgiveness in
Relationships: How to
Practice
:
 We all make mistakes in life; most people have
regrets, and the power of forgiveness helps
you move forward. This applies to all
relationships, especially with your partner.

Holding grudges and hurling insults across a

room during an argument won't deepen your
love. It will only create a deep divide between
you and your partner. Learning to practice
forgiveness in your relationships helps you
understand yourself better and what causes
you pain, improves your communication,
teaches you empathy, tears down walls of
resentment, and so much more.

How to Practice Forgiveness in Relationships -

like anything worthy in life, it requires
mindfulness, the willingness to let go of the
ego, and openness to change for personal
growth.

Relationships, like people, can fall into

patterns, some good, others not so good.
Without forgiveness, relationships will erode
over time and shut down opportunities for
healthy communication.

[Read more...]

How to Get Your

Emotional Needs Met in
Your Relationship
:
 Being in a committed long-term relationship is
one of the most challenging things you will
ever do in your life. Individuals in a relationship
can be categorized into two very distinct
groups. You can think of it as "Pursuers" and
"Withdrawers." Or another term we use is
called "Minimizers" and "Maximizers."

So, what are the Minimizers and Maximizers?

It's best explained as one partner who is
eternally disappointed while the other partner
lives in fear of perpetually disappointing their
partner. It all boils down to the same fear for
both partners.

These two statements best example the core of

the relationship struggle:

"I am never going to be enough for you."

:
 "You are never going to give me what I
truly need."

Looking at How Your Relationship Functions -

when one person in the relationship is
comfortable addressing conflicts, disruptions,
or life in general head-on by demanding
energy and critical emotions, it is not
surprising that the other person responds by
withdrawing, shutting down, or avoiding.

[Read more...]

Red flags: Red Flags in a

Relationship - 13 Toxic
Warning Signs to Watch
Out For
:
 Most of us long to be in a loving, committed
relationship. So if we are starting to get some
internal signals that tell us our current partner
might not be the right person for us, the
instinct is to close our eyes to the things we
see, to start rationalizing and stay in place,
stuck.

However, being willing to see the truth with

open eyes is one of the keys to not staying with
someone you shouldn't and making a mess out
of your life because you're too afraid to say
goodbye.

So what are some of the signs that you are in a

dead-end relationship? There are 13 Warning
Signs and Red Flags of a Toxic Relationship.

[Read more...]
:
 Is My Marriage Over? Ask
Yourself These Important
Questions First

There is a common misconnection when a

couple reaches a breaking point in their
marriage. They believe there are only two
choices to make. The first choice is to continue
living day in and day out in an unhappy home
and unhappy marriage. The second choice is to
leave the marriage, go your separate ways and
file for divorce from your partner.

However, for the majority of couples, there is

also an important and life-changing third
choice. When a couple is truly unhappy, and at
a breaking point, the third choice is to seek
expert help. Sitting down with a professional
trained to guide couples through often di#cult
:
 conversations will help you both learn to
remove the blame, shame, and criticism
common in negative relationship patterns and
transform your relationship.

Improving your relationship and making

positive changes for both partners, make no
mistake, take hard work, determination, and
time working closely with an expert marriage
counselor. It's essential to select a counselor
trained to work with couples, one that will
provide a safe, unbiased environment to
identify specific behaviors interfering in your
relationship.

Think of it as if you were under the weather

and needed expert help from a doctor.
Marriage therapists are much the same,
experts who help care for and guide people in
pain.

[Read more...]

What Destroys Most

Relationships? 4 Things
That Can Ruin Everything
:
 When the love is deep, many couples feel their
relationship will last forever. You and your
partner both love one another deeply, and that
will stand the test of time. Sure, you'll go
through challenges and obstacles in life, but
you'll do it together with your deep love
sustaining you both. Right?

But, eventually, if you don't know how to

navigate all the roadblocks you'll encounter as
a couple on life's journey, you might just crash
and burn. So, it's vital to learn how to steer the
relationship away from any danger zones.
When you know how to work together as a
team to drive right past the danger zones, it
will sustain your relationship to continue to
grow and thrive.
:
 Let’s look at the top four most common issues
couples face that ultimately destroys their
relationship so you can learn how to avoid
them and drive on past with smooth sailing.

[Read more...]

Signs Your Partner is

Emotionally Unavailable

It takes time to get to know someone - that's

what the dating period o"ers us all. You really
can't rush things, either. Things need air and
space to bloom. It's also important to know
when to commit to the relationship or go your
separate ways.
:
 At the beginning of a relationship, there's so
much promise and excitement. Our partner
may have initially come in very strong, which
opens up our dreams for the future. This can
make it hard to tell ourselves the truth down
the road if things are no longer going well. But
a vote for yourself is one in which you are
willing to see the truth - and ready to go
through loss - to avoid a much bigger
heartache later.

There are some signs to look out for to

determine if your partner is NOT emotionally
invested in the relationship.

[Read more...]

Marriage Myths and

Realities: 12 Common
Misconceptions Debunked
:
 We are bombarded by unrealistic portrayals of
human relationships from a young age. It's no
wonder that many modern Americans are
confused about love. While the romances in
movies like Sleeping Beauty and 10 Things I
Hate about You are entertaining, they are far
from realistic.

Far too often, couples come to me threatening

to throw in the towel because their relationship
isn't fairy tale perfect or romantic comedy
carefree. They formed misconceptions about
love, relationships, and marriage based on
fictional depictions from movies, TV shows, and
magazines. The misconceptions can be
incredibly destructive to a relationship by
creating unreasonable expectations that will
lead to confusion, frustration, and sorrow.
:
 If you want your relationship to succeed, your
expectations must be based on reality rather
than fiction. To help you see your relationship
in a new light, I've listed and debunked twelve
of the most common and destructive
relationship myths below.

[Read more...]

**An Imago Relationship Quiz for you too!

Emotionally Healthy Relationships**

We look forward to sharing more thought-

provoking and helpful blogs and tips with you
in 2022! Please share and subscribe, and we'll
be there to support you along your relationship
journey.

Check out our virtual and in-person Imago

Relationships Workshops and Imago
Relationships Therapy.

Discover more about Imago with our Imago

Professional Membership, Imago
Professional Facilitators, Imago Professional
Training, and Imago Insights Education.

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Imago Relationships

Topics: Healthy Relationships, Forgiveness,

Couples Therapy, Emotionally Unavailable,
Marriage Struggles, Ideal Partner,
Neurodiversity, Neurodiverse Couples,
:
 Marriage Goals, Couples Workshop, Marriage
Tips, Forgive, Emotional Needs, Relationships
101, Marriage Matters, Marriage 101, Marriage
Workshop, Toxic Relationships, Toxic People,
Adulting 101, Marriage Survival Skills, Adult
Relationships, Emotionally Available, Love
and Marriage, Marriage Communication

For example 11/12/2022, 2:15:31 AM

Relationship blogs are an invaluable resource

for anyone looking for love and guidance in
their relationships. They provide advice on how
to navigate the complexities of love, from
finding the right partner to dealing with
confusing emotions, and even how to find the
right yoga style for couples. Whether you’re
looking for constructive tips or simply all-
around love inspiration, many relationship
blogs o"er a variety of content that can help
lead to a successful love life.

Reply to For example

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