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6 Steps to A Life You Love – Step 0:

Create space! And 11 ways to do that
3rd March 2016  Creating change, How To Guide to Life You Love  6

Updated on October 18th, Get Monica’s book and

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What change are you

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your life right
now? Whether tiny or
sweeping
sweeping,, it won’t
happen unless you focus
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your energy, time and
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attention on bringing it
about. And create the space for it to happen in.

Why this is your vital pre-requisite, your Step Zero , so to speak?

Find out in my ultimate How-To-Guide 6 Steps to a Life You Love
Love..
And get ideas for creating space, going beyond simply making time
in your diary…
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 So, tell me: What’s the change you want to make in your life?  Adventures (1)

 After divorce (1)

Is it a small tweak?
 Authenticity (4)
You know: Ramping up your exercise routine. Going for regular walks out in  Christmas (2)
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productively, so you can leave work earlier. Buying your food from the
 Corporate life (2)
farmers market instead of the supermarket.
 Creating change (17)
Or are you thinking about a more significant, sweeping, transformative or  Experiences (7)
radical change?  How To Guide to Life
You Love (8)
Like: Changing job, or even career. Going travelling for a year. Selling your
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home, and moving to another city, another country, to the mountains, to the
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seaside. Or, starting or leaving a close relationship.
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journal:
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 Living a Life You Love

What change are you (27)

 Lockdown (2)
currently contemplating?  New year (6)

Whatever it is: It won’t happen unless you focus your energy, time and  Notes from self-isolation
(7)
attention on bringing it about.
 Overcoming challenge
It might take you a little while to gear up to making your change. That’s ok – (6)

no need to feel inadequate about it. (But if you do, this post will help.)  Overcoming excuses (4)

 Top tips / how to (22)

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Once you are ready and have decided to go for it, there is one vital element  Living through unease
you’ll need first and foremost, if you want your change to really happen. and crises in your fifties

 Some nights, longing-

Without it, the change you’re envisaging might well remain a dream. You’ll
:
 remain a prisoner of your busy lifestyle, and of other things taking priority. Notes from Lockdown

And your change will have nowhere to fall into, nowhere to be and  Freedom – Notes from
happen in your life. Lockdown

 Every day a new

This first and vital principle of change, your Step 0 in the 6 Steps to a Life beginning – Notes from
You Love, is: Self-Isolation

 Love Is the Answer –

Notes from Self-
Creating space Isolation

In fact, sometimes I think that:

“Creating space is the first principle of everything!”

The space you’re creating for your change is so vital, because, really, it is:

Space to get clear on what you (really) want.

Space to do nothing much –

to rest, to process what’s happened, or to let ideas and inspiration
drop in.

Space to experiment, take action, try things out, play.

Space to think, reflect, and learn.

Space to seek and receive feedback.

Space to find your way to the right decision.

Space to plan, review, or adjust course if you need to.

Space to celebrate your successes.

Space to mourn your losses.

Space to heal. (Tough love health advice from my GP)

Space to let go of what is not to be, and embrace what is.

It is absolutely necessary!

Where and how can you

:
 create space for your change?
The most obvious way is to manage your time. But space comes in other
dimensions, too: In your mind. In your body. In your environment.

They all contribute to a feeling of spaciousness, and offer your change a

place to drop into.

11 ideas and suggestions to

create space
Time
1. Put time in your diary: And block that time
out, as an important date with yourself and your
change. Perhaps you’ll decide to dedicate a full
or half day a week to your change. Or you’ll go
for little and often instead, and create regular
slots in your week, where you’ll take care of things to do with your change.

No time?

2. Say no, stop or let go: Time is a finite resource – we all have 24 hours
each day, and some of that time we need to spend sleeping and resting.
When we’ve got no space in our life, it feels like a computer hard drive that’s
full. In order to free up space, we need to delete stuff. So, decide how much
time you want to create for your change. What can you say no to, stop or let
go for the time being, in order to free up that time? Then say no to that, stop
it or let it go.

Not sure what that is?

3. Set priorities: At any given time in our life, there is a multitude of things
vying for our time and attention. It’s simply impossible to do them all – and
we get very stressed if we try to! So decide: Which are the 3 most important
things for you to do this week, or today? They’ll stay on your agenda.
(Hopefully, your change is one of them!) Then which are the 3 least
:
 important things for you to do? In fact, which are time-wasters,
unnecessary, and not helping you go where you want to go? Those are the
ones you stop or let go of!

Want to make it more fun, and make sure you stick to the allocated time?

4. Find a change buddy, or a coach: In order to increase the likelihood

that you’ll stick to your allocated change space, meet up regularly to share
progress, support each other, and keep each other motivated and on track.
A change buddy could be someone who is working on their change at the
same time as you, or who is working on a similar change – for
example, you might both be working on eating more healthily and losing
weight. A coach will work with you on your change – help you be clear on
what you want to do and how, motivate you, support you through
challenges, and keep you on track. Both are a great way of going beyond
your excuses, and getting on with it!

Body and Mind

A quiet, focused mind goes a long way to create
space, even when our life and schedule is busy.
So does a relaxed, spacious body. In fact, the
two go hand in hand and are deeply
interconnected.

I’m in Buddhist, Yogic and Bodywork territory here, speaking to you as a

practitioner, not as an expert! Here are a few body-mind practices that help
me create space when I feel full, too busy or overwhelmed:

5. Empty your thoughts into a journal: Write them all down in one
continuous text. Don’t think, don’t analyse, don’t censor, don’t try to make
perfect sentences, don’t correct anything. Just pour it all onto the page, and
don’t stop until it’s all out. If it’s something you want to let go or release, and
you like the idea of a ritual to help you do that, you could even write it on
lose pages, then burn them (in a safe place!) and scatter the ashes in your
garden.

6. Pour your thoughts into the earth: This is from a yoga class. You lie
down on the floor, perhaps on a mat or a blanket. Relax, imagining you’re
:
 lying on sand, and the weight of your body is making an imprint on it.
Become aware of the back surface of your body where it meets the ground:
The back of your head, shoulders, pelvis, calves, heels. Then focus again on
the back of your head, and imagine all the busy thoughts are draining out of
there, and pouring into the earth beneath you. Let them flow out until there’s
none left, then notice how your mind feels (and your body!)

7. Learn a stilling and centering practice: This is all to do with relaxing,

focusing on one thing, and breathing. It could be meditation. It could be
yoga. It could be systematically relaxing your body. It could be
deep breathing. Relaxing the body will still the mind. Stilling the mind will
relax the body. Practices often combine working on both. All you need to do
to create space is find a practice that suits you, learn it, and practice
regularly: In the morning, before you start your day. In the evening,
after work, or before bed. Even briefly throughout your day. It doesn’t
matter when, or even how long you practice for – just practice.

8. Stop and step back: This is the only thing that will help when we are
running to stand still, and feeling so frazzled we can’t think straight anymore.
Take a break. And step back from the thick of it – literally and metaphorically
put space between you and the constant busy-ness. Get away on a holiday,
or a short break. Engage with your family or friends. Sleep on it. Or simply
imagine looking at your busy life from further and further away, until you’re
looking down at it from a mountain top, or from space. What does it look
like from there? If you can’t get away at all, just simply looking up at the sky
for a few minutes, or taking a brisk walk around the block, will create a tiny
oasis of space.

9. Lengthen and stretch: When I was doing my dance training, we would

lie on the floor, breathe and relax our bodies – limb by limb. Then we would
gently wiggle our entire body, and let it lengthen and stretch as it wanted to.
One teacher would even tell us to imagine our breath going into each of our
joints, and creating lots of space and freedom of movement in there. We
spent time focusing on the sensations in our body in this way – and the
difference in how we felt and moved, when we eventually got up again was
incredible! Try it for yourself. Or find your own conscious movement class
and be guided.
:
 Environment
10. Declutter: Clutter in our physical
environment literally takes up space. If your
home or workplace is cluttered, it will add to
your busy-ness with ‘visual noise’ and
distraction. And it will contribute to making you
feel stuck. (How to get unstuck.) So keep as much space as possible free
and clear, at least in the surroundings you’re spending a lot of time in. It will
help you feel more spacious, too. You can declutter in bursts, if you don’t
like doing it continuously, and use the new year or spring energy to help you
get it done. You might be surprised at how much easier you’ll find making
your change then!

11. (Spring) clean and clear: Sometimes it can be the energy of a

particular environment, and not so much what’s in it and how it’s arranged,
that can make us feel cramped and busy. Giving a place a good clean, or
clear it from hindering energies (if that’s something you’d like to explore) can
really lift its energy, making it easier for you to move your change forward.
You’ll have to experiment for yourself!

Any other ideas? Over to you!

Perhaps you have a different idea altogether, that works better for
you? And what are your experiences with creating space for your
change? Please share it in the comments box below – thank you!!

Whatever you choose to do: The important thing is that, in the flood of
tasks, activities, responsibilities, and ‘life stuff’ that comes at us, as your first
step, you create a space in which your change can actually happen.

Then what?
So you’ve created the space your change needs… and now what?

Hop over to my next post in this series – 6 Steps to a Life You Love, My
Ultimate How To Guide to Changing Your Life – Step 1: Look back before
:
 moving forward

Don’t want to go it alone?

Why not get my structured,

intuitive and empathetic
coaching help?
And get your change underway.

I specialise in working with people who are at crossroads and don’t know
what they want to do next in their life. You don’t have to know what you
want, in order to work with me.

Indeed, I can help you explore and find out what that is, and then make the
changes you need, in order to move into a life you want and love. All with
more ease than if you were to do it on your own. I will guide you through
my 6 Steps to a Life You Love process – tailored to you. Giving you the
space for your change.

So you can stress less and move forward in your life – at your own pace!

Take a look at my coaching programmes now!

Photos: Pixabay

 Not doing what you want in life? Here’s how to adjust in 7 simple steps.
Don’t be the Titanic: The underwater iceberg that can sink your change ship

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Jacqueline Reed 
6th March 2016 at 9:13 am 
Reply

Great ideas to support change. However, personally I am in a

situation that I cannot see a route through. I am hindered by financial
& parental responsibilities & when I did make some radical changes
two years ago, I felt completely overwhelmed & lost! Thanks for the
ideas though..x

Monica Castenetto 
7th March 2016 at 9:29 pm 
Reply

Thanks very much for your comment, Jacqueline! I hear

what you’re saying – responsibilities can be really tough.
Even more important to find ways to create space for
yourself. It sounds like ‘radical’ is not what you need right
now. But perhaps you’ll find that applying some of the ideas
of this blog in tiny steps is possible – even finding ten
minutes here and there for yourself, creating space in any
way that appeals most to you, is a start. I wish you very
well!

Frankie WL  6th March 2016 at 9:01 am  Reply

Great practical advice on steps to spring clean life and environment

to create space for change. Thanks Monica, really enjoying your
blogs.

Monica Castenetto 
7th March 2016 at 9:24 pm 
Reply
:
 Thanks very much for your feedback, Frankie – much
appreciated!

Kate  4th March 2016 at 7:27 pm  Reply

Really like this post – arrived at just the right moment for me, at the
end of the week, on a phased return to work, aware I could be
falling into the old traps of doing too much there and using my
energy that way, rather than having some left for me. I need space
but struggle to find it. Food for thought for the next few weeks . Will
return to it often.

Monica Castenetto 
7th March 2016 at 9:23 pm 
Reply

So glad you found some useful ideas in here, Kate! For

simplicity (and space ) start with one idea, and work on it
for a week or so. See what works and doesn’t work for you,
and tweak it where you need to. And let me know how you
get on. Thanks for your comment, too!

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