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i
ACADEMY SERIES
SERIES EDITOR
Aaron W. Hughes, University at Buffalo
A Publication Series of
The American Academy of Religion
and
Oxford University Press
The Goodness
of Home
Human and Divine Love and
the Making of the Self
z
NATALIA MARANDIUC
1
iv
1
Oxford University Press is a department of the University of Oxford. It furthers
the University’s objective of excellence in research, scholarship, and education
by publishing worldwide. Oxford is a registered trade mark of Oxford University
Press in the UK and certain other countries.
1 3 5 7 9 8 6 4 2
Printed by Sheridan Books, Inc., United States of America
v
Contents
Acknowledgments ix
viii Contents
Bibliography 199
Index 207
ix
Acknowledgments
x Acknowledgments
Hunt, Jim Lee, Tamara Lewis, Gary MacDonald, Bruce Marshall, Beka
Miles, Heidi Miller, Connie Nelson, and Joerg Rieger, whose support and
dialogue were crucial during the final stages of working on this book.
I particularly appreciate the chance to present the book’s main argument
in a Perkins Faculty Symposium, which engendered discussions that gave
it its final contour. Sarah Coakley from the University of Cambridge also
read a chapter and gave me wonderful feedback that contributed to the
coherence of the book as a whole.
I am particularly indebted to my research assistant, Geoffrey Moore,
whose keen copyediting eye has made the book easier and more pleasant
to read, and to Aaron Hughes of the American Academy of Religion and
Cynthia Read of Oxford University Press, whose editorial excellence has
enabled the book to be born.
I am grateful to my students from Perkins School of Theology and Yale
Divinity School for their engaging conversations and heartwarming intel-
lectual acuity. The book came to fruition amid our teaching and learning
experiences.
Several friends and relatives have been faithful companions through
this journey. My parents, Floarea and Cornel Marandiuc, my sister, Vanda
Marandiuc, and my grandmother, Iuliana Don, have continually supported
my efforts and have offered words of wisdom and affection from Romania.
My spouse, Joseph Casella, has been a most loving, sacrificially caring,
and eagerly present partner, who read the whole manuscript a few times
and gave me impactful counsel. The book is dedicated to our much-loved
daughter, Anna Sophia, who was born when the book was almost finished
and who deepened my capacity for love beyond all prior imagination.
1
Why Home?
A Preamble about the Argument’s
Theological Significance
In fact, so large are the flows of people who leave their homelands that
migration theorists call our current era “the age of migration.”1 While migra-
tion in itself is not something new in human history—since human beings
have, in fact, always moved either to search for a new life or to flee from pov-
erty or political persecution—what is different today is the globalization and
acceleration of migration. According to the United Nations, more than three
percent of the entire world population in 2013 was made up of migrants.2
Only a small fraction of these people have left their homes without being
chased away by fear; many, if not most, of those who left their homes behind
are forced migrants. These are the people who have been compelled to flee
their homes due to terrors and dangers such as ethnic cleansing, extreme
poverty, violence, and natural disasters—in short, due to fear of death.
The need or longing for home is rarely diminished for migrants; on
the contrary, its loss ruptures and tears a deep part of their sense of self.
Daniel Groody calls migration a “traumatic undertaking.”3 Only in the
hope of overcoming enormous stresses and dangers do people choose
the painful experience of separation from home. “Such a separation
leaves an indelible mark on the heart of the immigrant.”4 Groody notes
that families rarely emigrate together, and I would add that it is even less
common for migrants to depart together with friends, mentors, or other
people for whom they care. “For many immigrants, crossing the border
of death means leaving behind much of what ultimately gives meaning,
value, and cohesion to their lives.”5 Warsan Shire, a Kenyan-born Somali
poet, writes,
1. Stephen Castles and Mark J. Miller, The Age of Migration: International Population Movements
in the Modern World (New York: Guilford Press, 2009).
2. United Nations, International Migration 2013, http://www.un.org/en/development/desa/
population/migration/publications/wallchart/docs/wallchart2013.pdf.
3. Daniel G. Groody, Border of Death, Valley of Life: An Immigrant Journey of Heart and Spirit
(New York: Rowman & Littlefield, 2002), 16.
4. Ibid.
5. Ibid., 19.
3
Why Home? 3
Why Home? 5
and I show the consequent interplay of divine and human relational love-
streams that cocreate the self and enable its belonging. I argue, therefore,
for the goodness of a home understood relationally, rather than spatially,10
as I claim that human love attachments are irreducibly needed for the
actualization of the human self, and I argue that love is a source of sub-
jectivity. Relational impoverishment goes against the grain of what home
means, as it hinders the development and performance of the self as such.
The book’s argument is broadly situated in the conversational context of
theological anthropology, with considerations about the self’s dynamic
nature and how it is impacted by divine grace when grace is conceived as
God’s pneumatological presence in the experience of human love.11
I conceptualize home relationally particularly in light of the shifting
meanings of locality that globalization engenders. Current work in neuro-
scientific research and attachment psychology indicate that secure human
attachments directly support the proper and healthy functioning of the
human body and its systems, as well as one’s cognitive, volitional, and
affective capacities.12 In short, human attachments produce human selves.
While such sciences attempt to explicate naturalistically the complex inter-
dependence between human attachments and the making of the self as
well as the self’s freedom, I argue along theological lines that the love
that overflows from God’s plenitude constitutes the necessary condition
for the very possibility of human attachments and, further, that this love
is planted constitutively in each human person as a seed whose growth
needs to be nurtured.
The greatest commandment in the gospels is to love God as well as human
beings—our neighbors.13 Numerous theologies have been proposed around
10. While my argument focuses on the relational dimension of what we call “home,” I do
not intend to diminish the significance of a home’s spatial reality, however complex it may
be in the age of globalization, even while discussing home in spatial terms is beyond the
scope of this book.
11. I do not argue that God’s presence is exclusive to human loves; however, I assume divine
grace to be equivalent to God’s presence, since God gives creation the gift of God’s very self,
both in the incarnation and in the Holy Spirit. This book’s accent is on grace as the divine
pneumatological presence in human loves.
12. See Jude Cassidy and Phillip R. Shaver, eds., Handbook of Attachment: Theory, Research, and
Clinical Applications (New York: The Guilford Press, 2008); Peter Fonagy, György Gergely,
Elliot L. Jurist, and Mary Target, Affect Regulation, Mentalization, and the Development of the
Self (New York: Other Press, 2004); Daniel J. Siegel, The Developing Mind: How Relationships
and the Brain Interact to Shape Who we are (New York: The Guilford Press, 2012).
13. Cf. Mark 12:28–31, Matthew 22:35–40, Luke 10:25–28.
6
how to negotiate these two together. I propose that correlative to the “ought”
implied in this commandment, there is a need. We are creatures of both need
and desire: while the commandment targets the right orientation of our desires,
they are matched by a powerful need to experience love. We are the kind of
creatures whose being and well-being is rooted in love, both human and divine.
I argue, therefore, that since we are creatures of both need and desire,
love precedes the formation of the human self, is needed for one’s own
actualization, and is also essential for mending subjectivity when it has
been harmed. I draw from multiple sources to construct my argument,
starting with the texts of Charles Taylor, whose retrieval of a modern under-
standing of the self in tandem with a rich description of the self’s rela-
tional embeddedness is both comprehensive and compelling. I augment
this portrait of the relational self with a theological interpretation of con-
temporary attachment research. Thereafter, I draw most extensively from
the theological work of Søren Kierkegaard, whose thought on love, human
difference, and deep equality is surprisingly in sync with our contempo-
rary context. Although Kierkegaard’s thought precedes the research of
attachment theorists, his texts, especially Works of Love14 read together with
Sickness Unto Death,15 make a case that evokes striking parallels with the
claims of attachment theory. I choose Kierkegaard as an interlocutor also
because his understanding of the self as a process of becoming and a pro-
gression that moves forward, albeit nonlinearly, as subjectivity is shaped,
reshaped, and perfected, is a portrayal that fits well with the contemporary
predicament of mobility and its consequent relational impoverishment.
While feminist theologians16 have argued for ubiquitous relationality,
such claims are often couched in rather universal, panhuman terms.17 My
14. Søren Kierkegaard, Works of Love, trans. Howard V. Hong and Edna H. Hong (Princeton,
NJ: Princeton University Press, 1995).
15. Søren Kierkegaard, The Sickness unto Death, trans. Howard V. Hong and Edna H. Hong
(Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press, 1980).
16. See Catherine Keller’s classic From a Broken Web: Separation, Sexism, and the Self (Boston:
Beacon Press, 1986) alongside her recent Cloud of the Impossible: Negative Theology and
Planetary Entanglement (New York: Columbia University Press, 2015), Elizabeth A. Johnson,
She Who Is: The Mystery of God in Feminist Theological Discourse (New York: Crossroad, 2002),
and Mary Grey, Redeeming the Dream: Feminism, Redemption, and Christian Tradition (London:
SPCK, 1989) and Prophecy and Mysticism: The Heart of the Postmodern Church (Edinburgh:
Bloomsbury T&T Clark, 2000).
17. At the same time, Catherine Keller argues for the inescapable particularity through which
we relate to the whole of reality. This accent on particularity is especially congruous with my
project, as I develop it in c hapter 4.
7
Why Home? 7
project not only grows from these limits but also extends the conversation
past them, as I argue that particular love attachments are sine qua non for
the establishment and sustenance, as well as the flourishing, of human
subjectivity. Attachment theories, I suggest, are in fact enriched by a theo-
logical argument that the confluence of human and divine streams of love
establishes the possibility of the bonds of belonging that the human self
needs in order both to emerge in the first place and to be repaired when
broken. The assumption is that a human being is not yet a self simply by
being alive; one becomes a self only under certain conditions. The irreduc-
ible condition I describe is the experience of love.
Certainly, not all attachments are good or conducive to human flour-
ishing. In fact, attachment is an ambiguous good in its existential con-
creteness, as many close relationships, in fact, harm the self or prevent
its emergence. Nonetheless, rightly contoured human attachments are a
necessary good; conversely, a lack of belonging is a difficult predicament
that hinders the self from operating with a robust agency or, in extreme
cases, from operating at all.
The theological significance of this argument for the goodness of home
has much to do with its import for a theological anthropology that looks
carefully at the sources of the making of the human self: relational impov-
erishment is an existential penury that results in an atrophied, debilitated,
or even nonexistent self. One difficulty in making the case theologically,
however, lies in a tradition that conceives of home as not located any-
where within creation, let alone in human attachments, both because of
creation’s finiteness and because of its fall. Instead, home awaits us in
a transtemporal heaven. Attachment to transient things, therefore, has
been viewed as a problematic state of affairs. In De Doctrina Christiana,
Augustine notoriously depicts our “home country” away from “this mortal
life in which we are exiles,” and he claims that we ought only to use this
world and human beings, and not to enjoy them, as they are not ends in
themselves but only means toward our true end, which is beyond human
attachments; enjoyment and proper attachment are to be reserved for eter-
nal and infallible things.18
Augustine’s concern is twofold: on the one hand, he finds it dangerous
that human beings would cleave to creaturely things and to other people,
18. Augustine, Teaching Christianity (De Doctrina Christiana), trans. Edmund Hill (New York:
New City Press, 1996), 106–11.
8
all of whom are passing away, rather than cleave to the stability of what is
immutable and eternal. That would be the holy trinity of God alone, who
is the highest and ultimate good and, therefore, our own highest and ulti-
mate end. God is not only beyond any possibility of transience, but also the
only real terminus of our creaturely needfulness. According to Augustine,
God is the final goal of our creaturely journey, the one in whom alone we
can rest, because, having arrived at our eternal destination, we will be fully
happy and fully blessed. There is nothing further to seek, to desire, or to
pursue. Simply put, God is our home.
On the other hand, Augustine wants to fight the concomitant danger
of discarding creation altogether and rejecting fellow human beings under
the delusion that we could actually reach our telos in God without the help
of creaturely realities. We are not teleported, so to speak, into union with
God; rather, we are traveling across the lands and seas of this world, using
carriages and ships that we share with travel companions as we cross the
spaces of our earthly exile en route to our heavenly homeland. These vehi-
cles and our companions are meant to help us reach our homeland, but
they themselves are certainly not our home—at least, they are not meant
to be that for Augustine. If we were to forget that and make ourselves
comfortable within these vehicles, enjoying them as if they were our des-
tination, being “perversely captivated by such agreeable experiences,” we
would lose our focus on our celestial home “where alone we could find real
happiness.”19 In the Augustinian imaginary, we are neither to succumb to
the illusion that our means of travel are our home country, nor to forgo
using them to get there.
That said, our travel to our home with God is not a spatial one, but
rather one of love. God is neither material nor finite; therefore, our voyage
is one whereby we are purified so as to be able to perceive the divine light
and to cling to it. We are returning home to our creator not by locomotion
across physical lands—the homeland metaphor notwithstanding—but on
a road “traveled by our affections.”20 It is a road of love with transformative
effects on who we are.
Having set this framework, Augustine presents a vision for understand-
ing what the right order of love needs to be in order for us to reach our only
true home: God. In this context, he makes his famous distinction, which
Why Home? 9
plays a central role in his argument contra any worldly home, between frui
love and uti love. To love in the mode of frui is to enjoy that which is loved
in the sense of loving it for its own sake, cleaving to it or attaching one-
self to it with one’s entire heart and life. “Enjoyment, after all, consists in
clinging to something lovingly for its own sake.”21 In other words, it can-
not be a stepping stone to or an intermediary object for the sake of some-
thing else. Therefore, when we pursue something with frui love, looking
to enjoy it, it means for Augustine that we are seeking it as the end of our
desires. When we obtain it, we desire nothing further and seek nothing
else. We were created precisely for this telos and this telos alone: to enjoy
the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Clearly, the trinity in Augustine’s
rhetoric is not to be loved for the sake of something else.
Contrastingly, uti love is instrumental love. It amounts to loving things
from the created universe in order to help us reach our telos of enjoying
the trinity. We are to use the various objects in our path in order to reach
our home, but we are never to enjoy them as final things or objects of
ultimate attachment. While it is true that on our journey to God we need
the medium of worldly things, it is equally true that we need to transcend
them and by no means get attached to what is not our home. Creation is
good, but it merely serves as a vehicle to the uncreated. It is not the infi-
nite good in God that we were made to enjoy; and because of its finitude,
creation cannot bear the weight of being a true home for us. God made the
world in order for humanity to use it as a means of return to God.
The “great question,” then, is what is the status of human beings, given
that they, too, are part of the world: “ought [they] to regard themselves
as things to be enjoyed, or used, or both”?22 In other words, the issue is
whether we ought to love other people for their own sake or for the sake
of something else. If we were to love them for their own sake, we would
enjoy them or relate to them in frui fashion, whereas if we loved them for
the sake of something else, we would use them, as uti denotes. At face
value, Augustine’s answer is straightforward: we are not to love human
persons for their own sake, because we would thereby make them the ter-
minus of our desires and transform them into idols. We are only to love
God for God’s own sake; no human being, including our own selves, can
A PARABLE.
EPIGRAMS.
SAYINGS.
1.
2.
3.
4.
“Where lies the capital, pilgrim, seat of who governs the Faithful?”
“Thither my footsteps are bent: it is where Saadi is lodged.”
INSCRIPTIONS.
A MISCONCEPTION.
B, taught by Pope to do his good by stealth,
’Twixt participle and noun no difference feeling,
In office placed to serve the Commonwealth,
Does himself all the good he can by stealing.
THE BOSS.
SUN-WORSHIP.
CHANGED PERSPECTIVE.
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