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Nancy Chodorow and
The Reproduction of
Mothering
Forty Years On
Edited by
Petra Bueskens
Nancy Chodorow and The Reproduction
of Mothering
Nancy Chodorow
and The Reproduction
of Mothering
Forty Years On
Editor
Petra Bueskens
University of Melbourne
Melbourne, VIC, Australia
© The Editor(s) (if applicable) and The Author(s), under exclusive license to Springer
Nature Switzerland AG 2021
This work is subject to copyright. All rights are solely and exclusively licensed by the
Publisher, whether the whole or part of the material is concerned, specifically the rights
of translation, reprinting, reuse of illustrations, recitation, broadcasting, reproduction on
microfilms or in any other physical way, and transmission or information storage and
retrieval, electronic adaptation, computer software, or by similar or dissimilar methodology
now known or hereafter developed.
The use of general descriptive names, registered names, trademarks, service marks, etc.
in this publication does not imply, even in the absence of a specific statement, that such
names are exempt from the relevant protective laws and regulations and therefore free for
general use.
The publisher, the authors and the editors are safe to assume that the advice and informa-
tion in this book are believed to be true and accurate at the date of publication. Neither
the publisher nor the authors or the editors give a warranty, expressed or implied, with
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Acknowledgments
v
vi ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Part I Mothers
vii
viii CONTENTS
Part II Daughters
Index 353
Notes on Contributors
xi
xii NOTES ON CONTRIBUTORS
been featured in the New York Times, NPR, Greater Good, Psychotherapy
Networker, and Talks at Google. She is in private practice in Corte Madera,
CA.
Ursula Fanning is Associate Professor and Head of Italian Studies at
the School of Languages, Cultures and Linguistics in University College
Dublin. She is a member of the editorial board of the Women and
Gender in Italy book series, published by Classiques Garnier. She has
published extensively in the areas of nineteenth- and twentieth-century
women’s writing, as well as on the theater and narrative of Luigi Piran-
dello. Her recent monograph, Italian Women’s Autobiographical Writings
in the Twentieth Century: Constructing Subjects is published by Fairleigh
Dickinson University Press.
Katie B. Garner, Ph.D. focuses on motherhood, childcare, and labor
equality. She is thrilled to take the helm of the International Associa-
tion of Maternal Action and Scholarship (IAMAS) (née MIRCI) based in
Chicago, Illinois. In addition to teaching English and WGS courses, Katie
runs consciousness-raising workshops for mothers. Her (in-progress)
book covers interviews with nearly 100 US women. She has been featured
in several podcasts and consulted with for a wide variety of mainstream
articles. See more at: www.drkatiebgarner.com.
Adrienne E. Harris, Ph.D. is Faculty and Supervisor at New York
University Postdoctoral Program in Psychotherapy and Psychoanalysis and
at the Psychoanalytic Institute of Northern California. She is an Editor
at Psychoanalytic Dialogues, and Studies in Gender and Sexuality and of
the IPA ejournal, Psychoanalysis.Today. Lew Aron, Adrienne, and Jeremy
Safran opened the Sandor Ferenczi Center at the New School in 2012.
Her book Gender as Soft Assembly was published in 2005.
Meg Jay, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist and associate professor of
education at the University of Virginia. She received a doctorate in clin-
ical psychology, and in gender studies, from the University of California,
Berkeley. A narrative nonfiction writer, she is the author of two books, The
Defining Decade and Supernormal, each of which interweave and translate
clinical work, theory, and research for the general public.
Jade McGleughlin, L.I.C.S.W. is past president, personal and super-
vising analyst, board member, and faculty member of The Massachusetts
xiv NOTES ON CONTRIBUTORS
books include Being Born: Birth and Philosophy (Oxford University Press,
2019); Nature, Ethics and Gender in German Romanticism and Idealism
(Rowman & Littlefield, 2018); Feminism, Psychoanalysis, and Maternal
Subjectivity (Routledge, 2012); The Value of Popular Music: An Approach
from Post-Kantian Aesthetics (Palgrave, 2016); The Routledge Companion
to Feminist Philosophy, coedited (Routledge, 2017).
CHAPTER 1
Petra Bueskens
What is it that turns a book from a “product of its time” into a classic
and, therefore, in some important respects, into something timeless? Is it
the content or its reception? Is it the author or her readers? In truth, it is
a mercurial combination of the two, producing “something more”. Not
unlike the “analytic third”1 created between two people in psychotherapy,
there is a magic in a classic that exceeds the sum of its parts. It is this
relationship between the idea and the audience, between the book and its
historical moment, that ignites and endures in a classic. As Victor Hugo
memorably put it, “nothing is more powerful than an idea whose time
has come”.2 Nancy Chodorow’s The Reproduction of Mothering: Psycho-
analysis and the Sociology of Gender is one such book. It speaks both to
the universal: the mother at the centre of our collective psyche, and the
1 Jessica Benjamin, Beyond Doer and Done To: Recognition Theory, Intersubjectivity, and
the Third (New York: Routledge, 2018).
2 Victor Hugo, History of a Crime: The Testimony of an Eye-Witness, trans. T.H. Joyce
and Arthur Locker (New York: Mondial, 2005 [1852/1877]).
P. Bueskens (B)
University of Melbourne, Melbourne, VIC, Australia
e-mail: petra.bueskens@unimelb.edu.au
6 Nancy Chodorow, The Psychoanalytic Ear and the Sociological Eye (London and New
York: Routledge, 2019).
4 P. BUESKENS
(in the middle-class and still at the time of Chodorow’s writing), is that
mothers largely mother in isolation.7
Sons and daughters are recreated, then, by mothers who have lost
their traditional supports (a situation that remains the case today, even
as women have entered the labour force en masse). For Chodorow, this
social context shapes the internal worlds of familial protagonists in crit-
ical and enduring ways. Conventional sociological understandings of role
learning and socialisation were insufficient to explain why women mother,
suggested Chodorow, who turned rather to psychoanalysis to elucidate
the complex internal worlds of (socially situated) mothers and the male
and female children they birthed, nurtured and raised. For Chodorow, it
is the intra-psychic dyad between mother and daughter, and its intergen-
erational transmission, that is central to the “reproduction of mothering”.
Here we see the confluence of gender and generation. As she says,
with female infants, contends Chodorow, since this evokes the uncon-
scious embodied experience for the mother of having been an infant
daughter of a female mother herself. Similarly, the daughter identifies with
her mother—both as her primary caregiver and as a person of the same
sex—producing a mutual identification for mothers and daughters and,
in turn, what Chodorow calls a “sense of self-in-relation”.10 Sons, in
contrast, come to experience themselves as sexually and socially different
from their mothers, in a process that is strengthened by the Oedipus
complex and subsequent identification with the father. In this way, the
boy’s ego boundaries tend to be clearer and repression of his maternal
identification and infantile dependence greater. Mothers, too, push their
sons to differentiate, just as they typically hold their daughters closer.11
In broad terms, Chodorow argues—using psychoanalytic theory, case
study and philosophical inference—that women and men are psychoso-
cially shaped in and through the primary care of mothers: a same-sex
parent for girls, and an opposite sex parent for boys. This produces
different developmental trajectories and outcomes for each gender. Just as
girls are drawn to connection and typically develop “selves-in-relation”,
boys are oriented to separation and individuation. Boys differentiate first
as subjects in a process that is reinforced through sexual difference and
grow up to identify with their symbolically stronger, but often absent,
fathers. In the patriarchal family, the father’s social and familial dominance
is the boy’s inheritance. This, in psychic terms, is the boy’s “patriar-
chal dividend.”12 However, while boys come to identify with dominant
fathers, daily father absence in industrial society means fathers are not
typically introjected as primary attachment figures for boys or girls. For
Chodorow this means boys, and the men they grow into, tend to have a
more fragile and defensive masculinity, less founded in real attachment to
fathers (and other adult men) and more on fantasy and projection. Being
masculine, then, becomes in large part about being not feminine (or not
mother).
Girls emerge from this [oedipal] period with a basis for ‘empathy’ built
into their primary definition of self in a way boys do not. Girls emerge
with a stronger basis for experiencing another’s needs or feelings as one’s
own (or of thinking that one is so experiencing another’s needs and feel-
ings). Furthermore, girls do not define themselves in terms of the denial of
preoedipal relational modes to the extent as do boys. Therefore, regression
to these modes tends not to feel as much a basic threat to their ego. From
very early, then, because they are parented by a person of the same gender
(a person who has already internalized a set of unconscious meanings,
fantasies, and self-images about this gender and brings to her experience
13 It took 35 years for Freud to grasp the significance of the mother-daughter relation-
ship. Beneath the girl’s Oedipus complex, he came to realise was a deep “homosexual”
tie to her mother. The little girl never relinquished her (erotic) attachment to her mother,
and as a consequence her Oedipus complex was never fully resolved. She was never fully
reconciled with either femininity or heterosexuality, but would retain deep ties to her
mother and, later, mother substitutes (daughters, sister, friends). Sigmund Freud, “Female
Sexuality,” 226.
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Language: Finnish
Kuvaus korvesta
Kirj.
VEIKKO KORHONEN
Minkä myrä kokoo, sen suvi-ilma hajoittaa. Äsken vielä lumi kiehui
ja kihisi tuulen kynsissä, nyt sateen piiskaamana sulaa
näkösilmässä. Illansuussa kellottaa maaliskuu taivaalla lupaavana,
ja ensimmäinen pihkan tuoksu hengähtää korvessa.
Mutta sitä sopii. Taivas on jo korkealla, niin korkealla, että sen sini
silmiä huikasee. Honkien latvoissa soi kevään humina ja kiihoittaa
huutamaan ja huhuamaan. Mitäs muusta, kun on taivasta ja
humisevaa korpea mielin määrin ja pihkantuoksua.
*****
— Tuo vaan, ja jos saisit sanan Hiertiäiselle, että nyt sitä saa.
Laitat vaikka Harakka-Antin sanomaan.
*****
Turakka pisti vehkeet säkkiin ja nousi lähteäkseen.
Viljaa tulee niin että hinkalot vieryvät, ja kun laskee lajittajan kautta
jyvänsä hinkaloon, saa viedä perät leipälautakunnalle. Hitsiläinenkös
niille niin halvasta oikeita jyviä antamaan.
Eihän tuota ollut paljon väkeäkään. Yksi laiha akan kuipelo, joka
purpatti päivät kuin papupata, mutta ei jaksanut, raukka, nousta
aamuisin kahvia aikanaan keittämään, kun kolmivuotias Anna-Liisa
oli taas repinyt kaiken yötä rintoja niin että mahaa jo kouristi.
Vaivainen ja vähäjärkinen rengin ruipelo ei taas noussut, jos sitä
ajelikin. Jos oli selvällä päällä — ryyppäsi näes hänkin joskus viinaa
— niin ähkäsi kuin äkäinen hevonen, kun meni ylös ajamaan.
Antti oli pieni, mutta terävä, jos sille päälle sattui. Silmäluomien yli
oli laskeutunut nahkat viistoon, joten silmät näyttivät viistoilta kuin
kiinalaisen, mutta kun niistä silmistä välähti, ei ollut silloin hyvä
mennä Anttia nykimään. Otti naulasta hevospiiskan ja kurautti sillä
niin että silmät iskivät tulta. Renki-Joopi oli saanut jo muutaman
kerran maistaa sitä ja tunnustanut sen ansiot, voitelemalla tentulla
siiman synnyttämiä makkaroita selässään.
Hameniemi oli saanut siitä nimensä, että Asarin isän ajoilla jo hallitsi
hamevalta talossa. Hiertiäinen tuli isäänsä, ja ohjissa oli nyt terhakka
Tiina Loviisa. Kerran hujutuulella ollessaan sattui Asari käymään
pappilassa ja muutatti talon entisen nimen, Koivuniemen,
Hameniemeksi kirkonkirjoihin. Mitäpä siitä, jos rovasti vähän
naureksien vastusteli, kun kerran Hiertiäinen sai mitä päähänsä, piti
sen tapahtua, jos ei vallan vuoria ollut vastuksina.
*****
Talossa oli laajat vainiot, ja töitä johteli Tiina Loviisa niin, että pian
alkoi talo rikastua, varsinkin kun sota-aikana sai hyvän hinnan viljalla
ja muulla tavaralla. Mikäpä oli Asarin kellotellessa. Silloin kun ei
nukuttanut kamarissa, muutaikse pirttiin, ja kun ei sielläkään
nukuttanut, loikoi sängyssä silmät puoliavoimina ja seuraili naisväen
puuhia ja kuunteli väliin Tiina Loviisan äkäilyä.
— Enkä…
— … että voi hyvä jumala, kun sinä olet laiska, aloitti Tiina Loviisa,
kun kerran kuuli, että Asari on valveilla. — Menisit edes puita liiteriin
pilkkomaan, jos et muutakaan. Luulisi mokomalta ronkkien
märkänevän, kun ei muuta kuin aina syrjällään. Sitten siltä vielä
puruvesi juoksee pitkin poskia. Pyyhkisi suunsa edes.
— Etpä sinä enää välitä niistäkään pusuista, olipa tuo suu vaikka p
—ssa.