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 TWELFTH EDITION

Gendered Lives
Communication, Gender,
& Culture

Julia T. Wood
Lineberger Distinguished Professor of Humanities Emerita
The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill

Natalie Fixmer-Oraiz
Department of Communication Studies
Department of Gender, Women's, and Sexuality Studies
The University of Iowa

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 Gendered Lives: © 2017, 2015, 2013 Cengage Learning
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 This book is dedicated to Susan B. Anthony, Frederick Douglass,
Charlotte Perkins Gilman, Emma Goldman, Sarah Grimke, Francis
Ellen Watkins Harper, Alice Paul, Margaret Sanger, Elizabeth Cady
Stanton, Maria Stewart, Sojourner Truth, Mary Wollstonecraft, and
other women and men who began the conversation about gender in
this country;

and to

Maya Angelou, Gloria Anzaldúa, Ella Baker, Robert Bly, Judith Butler,
Karlyn Campbell, Mary Daly, Simone de Beauvoir, Marilyn French,
Michael Kimmel, Betty Friedan, Ellen Goodman, J. Jack Halberstam,
bell hooks, Jackson Katz, Evelyn Fox Keller, Lady Gaga, Madonna,
Bill McCartney, Gloria Steinem, and other women and men who
have added to the cultural dialogue about gender;

and to

Jason Muehlhoff, Malia Obama, Sasha Obama, Niko Pezzullo Striphas,

Daniel Wood Wilco, Harrison Wood Wilco, Michelle Wood Wilco,
and other boys and girls whose voices will shape the next generation’s
understanding of women and men, masculinity and femininity, and
the meaning of gender in our society.

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 Brief Contents

PREFACE xvii
ABOUT THE AUTHORS xxiii

INTRODUCTION Opening the Conversation 1

PART 1 CONCEPT UAL FO UND A TIONS

CHAPTER 1 The Study of Communication, Gender, and Culture 14

CHAPTER 2 Theoretical Approaches to Gender Development 35

CHAPTER 3 The Rhetorical Shaping of Gender: Competing Images

of Women 57

CHAPTER 4 The Rhetorical Shaping of Gender: Competing Images of Men 79

CHAPTER 5 Gendered Verbal Communication 101

CHAPTER 6 Gendered Nonverbal Communication 122

PART 2 G E N D E R E D C O M M U N I C A T I ON IN P R A C T I C E

CHAPTER 7 Becoming Gendered 142

CHAPTER 8 Gendered Education: Communication in Schools 165

CHAPTER 9 Gendered Close Relationships 185

CHAPTER 10 Gendered Organizational Communication 208

CHAPTER 11 Gendered Media 233

CHAPTER 12 Gendered Power and Violence 255

GLOSSARY 281
REFERENCES 289
INDEX 317

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 Contents

PREFACE xvii
ABOUT THE AUTHORS xxiii

INTRODUCTION Opening the Conversation 1

The Social Construction of Inequality 2
Feminism—Feminisms 3
Becoming Aware 5
Why We Wrote This Book 7
Communication as the Fulcrum of Change 10
The Challenge of Studying Communication, Gender, and Culture 11
Features of Gendered Lives 11

PART 1 CONCEPTUAL FOUNDATIONS

CHAPTER 1 The Study of Communication, Gender, and Culture 14

Communication, Gender, and Culture as an Area of Study 14
Research on Gender, Communication, and Culture 15
Reasons to Learn about Communication, Gender, and Culture 15
Gender in a Transitional Era 16
Differences between Women and Men 17
Relationships among Gender, Culture, and Communication 18
Sex 19
Gender 20
Beyond Sex and Gender 25
Culture 29
Communication 30
Communication Is a Dynamic Process 30
Communication Is Systemic 30
Communication Has Two Levels of Meaning 31
Meanings Are Created through Human Interaction with Symbols 32

CHAPTER 2 Theoretical Approaches to Gender Development 35

Theoretical Approaches to Gender 35
Biological Theories of Gender 36
Interpersonal Theories of Gender 41
Psychodynamic Theories of Gender Development 41
Psychological Theories of Gender Development 42
Social Learning Theory 42
Cognitive Development Theory 43
Cultural Theories of Gender 45
Anthropology 45
Symbolic Interactionism 46
Critical Theories of Gender 48
Standpoint Theory 48
Queer Performative Theory 50
Theories Working Together 54

vii

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 viii CONTENTS

CHAPTER 3 The Rhetorical Shaping of Gender: Competing

Images of Women 57
The Three Waves of Women’s Movements in the United States 58
The First Wave of Women’s Movements in the United States 59
Liberal Ideology: The Women’s Rights Movement 59
Cultural Ideology: The Cult of Domesticity 60
The Second Wave of Women’s Movements in the United States 61
Liberal Ideology 62
Cultural Ideology 68
Contemporary Feminism 70
Riot Grrrl 71
Power Feminism 71
Mainstream Third-Wave Feminism 72
Hip-Hop Feminism 75

CHAPTER 4 The Rhetorical Shaping of Gender: Competing Images of Men 79

Profeminist Men’s Groups 80
NOMAS 82
ACT UP: The AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power 83
Men’s Antiviolence Groups 84
The White Ribbon Campaign 84
Walk a Mile in Her Shoes 86
Mentors in Violence Prevention 86
Masculinist Men’s Groups 87
Men’s Rights 87
Father’s Rights Groups 88
Mythopoetic Men 89
Promise Keepers 90
The Million Man March 93
Contemporary Men’s Movements 94
The Good Men Project 96

CHAPTER 5 Gendered Verbal Communication 101

Verbal Communication Expresses Cultural Views of Gender 102
Male Generic Language Excludes Women 102
Language Defines Men and Women Differently 102
Language Shapes Awareness of Gendered Issues 105
Language Organizes Perceptions of Gender 106
Language Evaluates Gender 107
Language Allows Self-Reflection 108
Gendered Styles of Verbal Communication 109
Gendered Speech Communities 109
The Lessons of Children’s Play 109
Boys’ Games 110
Girls’ Games 110
Gendered Communication Practices 112
Feminine Communication 112
Masculine Communication 114
The Gender-Linked Language Effect 116
Gender-Based Misinterpretations in Communication 116
Showing Support 116
Troubles Talk 117

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 CONTENTS ix

The Point of the Story 119

Relationship Talk 119
Public Speaking 119

CHAPTER 6 Gendered Nonverbal Communication 122

Functions of Nonverbal Communication 123
Supplement Verbal Communication 124
Regulate Interaction 124
Establish the Relationship Level of Meaning 124
Responsiveness 124
Liking 125
Power or Control 125
Forms of Nonverbal Communication 125
Artifacts 126
Proximity and Personal Space 129
Haptics (Touch) 130
Kinesics (Facial and Body Motion) 130
Paralanguage 132
Physical Appearance 132
Interpreting Nonverbal Behavior 137
Respecting Gendered Styles of Nonverbal Communication 138

PART 2 G E N D E R E D C O M M U N I C AT I O N I N P R A C T I C E

CHAPTER 7 Becoming Gendered 142

Gendering Communication in the Family 144
Unconscious Processes 144
Gender Identity 144
Ego Boundaries 147
Parental Communication about Gender 148
Parental Modeling 150
The Personal Side of the Gender Drama 151
Growing Up Masculine 152
Don’t Be Feminine 152
Be Successful 152
Be Aggressive 153
Be Sexual 154
Be Self-Reliant 154
Embody and Transcend Traditional Views of Masculinity 155
Growing Up Feminine 156
Appearance Still Counts 157
Be Sensitive and Caring 157
Negative Treatment by Others 158
Be Superwoman 159
There Is No Single Meaning of Feminine Anymore 161
Growing Up Outside Conventional Genders 161

CHAPTER 8 Gendered Education: Communication in Schools 165

Gendered Expectations and Pressures Facing Students 166
Academics 166
Males 166
Females 167

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 x CONTENTS

LGBTQ Students 172

Gender Isn’t the Whole Story 173
Athletics 173
Gender Pressures from Peers 175
Pressures to Conform to Masculinity 176
Pressures to Conform to Femininity 177
Gendered Expectations and Pressures Facing Faculty 180

CHAPTER 9 Gendered Close Relationships 185

The Meaning of Personal Relationships 185
Models of Personal Relationships 186
The Male Deficit Model 187
The Alternate Paths Model 187
Gendered Styles of Friendship 188
Feminine Friendships: Closeness in Dialogue 189
Masculine Friendships: Closeness in the Doing 191
Friendships between Women and Men 192
Gendered Romantic Relationships 193
Developing Romantic Intimacy 194
Gendered Patterns in Committed Relationships 195
Gendered Modes of Expressing Affection 196
Gendered Preferences for Autonomy and Connection 197
Gendered Responsibility for Relational Health 198
Gendered Power Dynamics 198

CHAPTER 10 Gendered Organizational Communication 208

Gendered Stereotypes in the Workplace 209
Stereotypes of Women 209
Sex Object 209
Mother 210
Child 213
Iron Maiden 213
Stereotypes of Men 214
Sturdy Oak 214
Fighter 214
Breadwinner 215
Masculine Norms in Professional Life 216
Traditional Masculine Images of Leaders 216
Traditionally Masculine Norms for Career Paths 218
Gendered Patterns in Organizations 219
Formal Practices 219
Leave Policies 219
Work Schedules 220
Informal Practices 222
Unwelcoming Environments for Women 222
The Informal Network 223
Mentoring Relationships 223
Glass Ceilings and Walls 224
Efforts to Redress Gendered Inequity in Institutions 225
Equal Opportunity Laws 225
Affirmative Action Policies 226
Quotas 228
Goals 229
Diversity Training 230

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 CONTENTS xi

CHAPTER 11 Gendered Media 233

Media Saturation of Cultural Life 234
Media Impacts 235
Set the Agenda 235
Regulate Images of Women and Men 236
Underrepresent Women and Minorities 236
Portray Men Stereotypically 237
Portray Women Stereotypically 238
Gendered Images in Advertising 241
Motivate Us to Consume 244
Gender and Social Media 246
Social Networking 246
Learning and Sharing Information 248
Holding Others Accountable 249
Activism 249
Consequences of Gendered Media 251
Normalize Unrealistic Standards 251
Normalize Violence against Women 251

CHAPTER 12 Gendered Power and Violence 255

The Many Faces of Gendered Violence 256
Gender Intimidation 256
Sexual Harassment 257
Quid Pro Quo 257
Hostile Environment 257
Sexual Assault 258
Intimate Partner Violence 262
Genital Surgery 266
Male Circumcision 266
Sunna 267
Excision or Clitoridectomy 267
Infibulation 268
Gender-Based Murder 269
Reproductive Violence 269
Cultural Foundations of Gendered Violence 272
The Normalization of Violence in Media 272
The Normalization of Violence by Institutions 272
Schools 273
Family 273
Law Enforcement 274
Language 274
Resisting Gendered Violence: Where Do We Go from Here? 274
Personal Efforts to Reduce Gendered Violence 274
Social Efforts to Reduce Gendered Violence 275
Taking a Voice 276

GLOSSARY 281
REFERENCES 289
INDEX 317

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 L IST OF E XPLORING G ENDERED L IVES B OXES

INTRODUCTION
About “Male-Bashing”: Julia and Natalie—the Authors—Comment 6
Multicultural Perspectives on Gender 7

CHAPTER 1
Journals That Feature Research on Gender and Communication 16
Grown-Up Tomboys 19
Social Views of Intersexuality 20
T Troubles 21
Pink Is for Boys? 24
Trans Students 27

CHAPTER 2
Chromosomal Variations 37
The Claims of Sociobiology 39
Biological Differences That Make a Difference 40
Varied Cultural Approaches to Fathering 46
Ga Ga for Lady Gaga 53

CHAPTER 3
A’n’t I a Woman? 60
Reproductive Rights 61
The Famous Bra Burning (That Didn’t Happen!) 63
About NOW 64
To Be Womanish, To Be a Womanist 66
Antifeminism 68
The Text of the Equal Rights Amendment 69
Lesbian, Bisexual, Trans, and Queer-Identified Women 70
“Don’t Tell Us How to Dress. Tell Men Not to Rape.” 74
A Postfeminist Era? 76

CHAPTER 4
The Scariest Phrase? 82
Men Can Stop Rape 85
Rites of Manhood 90
Grassroots Men’s Ministries 93

xiii

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 xiv LIST OF EXPLORING GENDERED LIVES BOXES

Misogyny 95
“If You Don’t Like What’s Being Said, Change the Conversation.” 97

CHAPTER 5
Parallel Language? 104
What’s in a Name? 105
Seeing the Unseen/Naming the Unnamed 106
Fat Talk 108
Gender and Gaming Culture 111
Scholarship versus Popular Psychology 118

CHAPTER 6
Guns Are for Girls; Tea Parties Are for Boys 127
Indecent Dress for Women 128
Beauty for Sale 132
A New Model for Models? 134
Modeling Physical Beauty 137

CHAPTER 7
Superheroes and Slackers 146
Sisterhood? 159
Careers for Women: Gendered, Raced, and Classed 160

CHAPTER 8
Single-Sex Educational Programs 167
Name That (Wo)man 170
Straddling Two Cultures 174
Title IX: Fiction and Fact 176
Schoolyard Bullying 178
Hooked Up 179

CHAPTER 9
When Focusing on Feelings Makes Us Feel Bad 190
Fertile Expectations 199
Dads at Work 201
Scientists and the Second Shift 203
Fathering in Other Species 204
The Mommy Myth 204
Global Nannies 205

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 LIST OF EXPLORING GENDERED LIVES BOXES xv

CHAPTER 10
Personal Choice or Institutional Discrimination? 211
Can Women (and Men) Have It All? 212
Strategies for Women’s Success in the Workplace 214
Gendered Wages 215
If She’s a He, He’s Better and Paid Better Too! 217
Work-Life Balance for All 222
The Glass Escalator 225
When Quotas Raise Questions—and When They Don’t 229

CHAPTER 11
The Geena Davis Institute 236
Beyond Sexy Sidekicks and Damsels in Distress 239
Miss Representation 243
Is Censorship the Answer? 244
Am I Pretty? 247
Watch out for Sparks 250

CHAPTER 12
Hollaback! 256
First Rape, Then Marriage 260
Sexual Assault of Men 261
The Victim 262
Corrective Rape 263
Myths and Facts about Rape 263
The Cycle of Intimate Partner Violence 265
Myths and Facts about Violence between Intimates 266
To Circumcise or Not to Circumcise: That Is the Question 267
A Vacation to Remember 268
Forced Abortion 270
Whose Rights? Whose Protection? 271
Refusing to Be Defeated 276

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 Preface

We wrote Gendered Lives for two reasons. First, we want to introduce students to a
rich body of research that informs us about the intricate connections among com-
munication, gender, and culture. Second, we think that learning about these con-
nections empowers students to make more informed decisions about how they
personally enact gender, address gender issues in their lives, and contribute to cul-
tural attitudes, perspectives, laws, and policies related to gender.
Since the first edition of this book appeared in the early 1990s, our under-
standings of gender have changed and issues related to gender have mush-
roomed. Society has acknowledged a greater range of options for individual
women and men—in the military, in the home, in professional life, in social
life, and in politics. During the past 20 years, society has become more accepting
of gay, lesbian, and transgender identities, new women’s and men’s movements
have emerged, mass media have challenged some gender stereotypes while creat-
ing others, and social media have added to the content and forms by which gen-
der is continuously negotiated. Academic researchers have continued to map the
ways that communication, gender, and culture influence one another. This new
edition responds to social changes in the United States and around the world, as
well as to feedback from students and faculty who generously offered ideas for
ways to improve this book.
We discuss this book’s origins and features in the Introduction (“Opening the
Conversation,” pages 1–13). Here, we want to describe changes that make this edi-
tion different from the last and identify supplementary resources available for stu-
dents and instructors.

Changes in Gendered Lives,

Twelfth Edition
The most important change in this edition is the addition of a coauthor: Natalie
Fixmer-Oraiz. Julia authored the first 11 editions of this book. Over the last 15
years, her conversations and writing with Natalie have deepened her understand-
ing of the profound ways in which gender and power are imbricated. Invariably,
Natalie’s ideas found their way into Julia’s thinking and writing about issues
discussed in this book. Deciding to write the book together is an organic out-
growth of our long-term intellectual collaboration. Natalie’s groundbreaking
research and her passion for teaching make her the ideal coauthor for Gendered
Lives.
In addition to being coauthored, five significant changes differentiate this
edition from its predecessors.

xvii

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