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FAMILY, INTERGENERATIONAL

SOLIDARITY, AND
POST-TRADITIONAL SOCIETY

Almost all families will at some time have to make difficult decisions concerning
aging family members, involving institutionalization, moving from medical
interventions to palliative care, and even physician-assisted death. Yet, the
historical transition from traditional to post-traditional society means that
these decisions are no longer determined by strict rules and norms, and the
growing role of the welfare state has been accompanied by changes in the nature
of family and social solidarity. Advances in medical technology and greatly
expanded life spans further complicate the decision-making process. Family,
Intergenerational Solidarity, and Post-Traditional Society examines a range of difficult
issues that families commonly face during the family life course within these
contexts. The book explores both practical and ethical questions regarding
filial responsibility and the roles of the state and adult children in providing
financial and instrumental support to dependent parents. The book follows the
experiences and deliberations of a fictional family through a series of vignettes
in which its members must make difficult decisions about the treatment of a
seriously ill parent. Advanced undergraduate and graduate students in family
studies, gerontology/aging, sociology, social work, health and social care, and
nursing will find this essential reading.

Ronald J. Angel is Professor in the Department of Sociology at the University


of Texas at Austin.

Jacqueline L. Angel is Professor in the LBJ School of Public Affairs and the
Department of Sociology at the University of Texas at Austin.
FAMILY,
INTERGENERATIONAL
SOLIDARITY, AND
POST-TRADITIONAL
SOCIETY

Ronald J. Angel and Jacqueline L. Angel


First published 2018
by Routledge
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and by Routledge
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Routledge is an imprint of the Taylor & Francis Group, an informa business
© 2018 Taylor & Francis
The right of Ronald J. Angel and Jacqueline L. Angel to be identified
as authors of this work has been asserted by them in accordance with
sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reprinted or
reproduced or utilised in any form or by any electronic, mechanical,
or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including
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retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publishers.
Trademark notice: Product or corporate names may be trademarks
or registered trademarks, and are used only for identification and
explanation without intent to infringe.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Angel, Ronald, author. | Angel, Jacqueline Lowe, author.
Title: Family, intergenerational solidarity, and post-traditional
society / Ronald J. Angel, Jacqueline L. Angel.
Description: New York, NY : Routledge, 2017. | Includes
bibliographical references and index.
Identifiers: LCCN 2017003229| ISBN 9781138240322 (hb :
alk. paper) | ISBN 9781138240339 (pb : alk. paper) | ISBN
9781315173757 (ebook)
Subjects: LCSH: Families--United States. | Intergenerational
relations--United States. | Aging parents--Care--United States.
Classification: LCC HQ536 .A565 2017 | DDC 306.850973--dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2017003229
ISBN: 978-1-138-24032-2 (hbk)
ISBN: 978-1-138-24033-9 (pbk)
ISBN: 978-1-315-17375-7 (ebk)
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by HWA Text and Data Management, London
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CONTENTS

About the Authors vii


Preface viii

1 Changing Intergenerational Family Dependence: A Difficult


Family Decision 1

2 The Ties that Bind? Changing Family Options: A Long Way


from Ozzie and Harriet 38

3 Socializing the Financial Support of the Elderly: Who Pays for


Care at the End of Life? 67

4 Manufactured Risk and Reproductive Technology: There are


Many Ways to Have a Baby 88

5 Where Will We Put Mimi? When Family Members Do Not


Agree 118

6 Mandatory Support of Aging Parents: A Moral Obligation 152

7 Respect for Autonomy: Difficult Decisions Concerning


Medical Care: Who Decides When Treatment is Useless? 173

8 Family Decisions at the End of Life: Une mort très douce 196
vi Contents

9 Physician-Assisted Death: I Am the Master of My Fate 222

10 Civil Society and the Family: If You Can’t Be with the One
You Love… 247

11 The Future of Intergenerational Solidarity: Families Caring


for an Aging America 272

Index 292
ABOUT THE AUTHORS

Ronald Angel (Ph.D. Wisconsin, 1981) is currently a Professor of Sociology at


the University of Texas at Austin. His interests include the transformation of
health and social security systems, the impact of the evolution of the modern
welfare state on social institutions, including the family, the changing role of
civil society organizations in advocacy and service provision for vulnerable
populations, and the situation of racial and ethnic minorities in increasingly
stagnant economies. He is the author of five books, over 70 referred journal
articles, and numerous chapters and reports.

Jacqueline L. Angel (Ph.D. Rutgers, 1989) is currently a Professor of Public


Affairs and Sociology and a faculty affiliate at the Population Research Center
and LBJ School Center for Health and Social Policy at the University of Texas
at Austin. Her research addresses the relationships linking family structures,
inequality and health across the life course, including a special focus on minority
aging, the Hispanic population, and older Mexican Americans. She is the author/
coauthor/editor of numerous journal articles, book chapters, and books.
PREFACE

Human history has been characterized by sequences of stability and change.


Prior to the eighteenth century tradition defined human institutions and guided
behavior. The Enlightenment in Europe and America ushered in a new period
characterized by the radical questioning of tradition. A new, if perhaps naïve,
optimism accompanied the belief that humans could achieve the good society
through rational action. Even if the belief in the capacity of reason to bring about
a just society has been tempered by the twentieth century’s demonstration of
humanity’s capacity for evil, what followed the Enlightenment and the Industrial
Revolution was a continuous period of accelerating change. This book is motivated
by a desire to document and understand the consequences of the profound social
changes that have affected the family during the latter half of the twentieth century.
Rather than conforming to tradition, today individual actions are matters
of choice. Tradition no longer rigidly governs marriage, sexual behavior,
reproduction, living arrangements, or any other aspect of family and community
life. In many ways we might say that humans today are condemned to choice.
They must decide what sort of education to acquire, who to marry, what
occupation to pursue, whether or not to have children, how to deal with aging
parents, and ultimately whether or not to end their own lives in the event of
terminal illness. These choices cannot be avoided. One must either explicitly or
implicitly make life choices. Ironically, even conforming to tradition represents a
choice, since tradition is no longer coercively imposed upon one by the church,
the state, or social convention.
In this book we draw attention to the complex and often difficult moral and
ethical choices that confront families in a post-traditional world. We address
the causes and consequences of the variation in family form that characterizes
modernity and post-modernity. We deal with new risks that humans must face,
Preface ix

including those that arise from the ways in which humans have changed the
planet and their own life spans. We deal with general moral and ethical issues
related to personal autonomy and one’s duties to others. We deal with specific
ethical domains, including modern reproductive technologies. We deal with
issues related to the withdrawal of medical care from individuals who are
terminally ill or have incurable diseases and we review ethical issues related to
euthanasia, both active and passive. We address important moral issues related
to a child’s financial responsibility for indigent parents, and we discuss ethical
issues related to the socialization of the financial support of the elderly. Finally,
in light of the demographic and social changes that have reduced family size and
the availability of adult children to provide all of the support their parents need,
we discuss the potential role of nongovernmental and faith-based organizations
in the support and care of older individuals.
Each chapter, except the last which synthesizes what comes before, begins with
a vignette focused on one family and the individuals who interact with its members
as they deal with various major life decisions. These vignettes offer a brief insight
into the moral and ethical dilemmas dealt with in each chapter. The vignettes are
fictional and are not based on experiences of actual individuals or families. Rather
they are composites that illustrate very real life problems that are fairly common.
They are informed by our previous research, by our review of the literature, by
media reports, and by personal experience. Each chapter also includes suggestions
for discussion labeled “ethical dilemmas” that relate to the moral and ethical issues
dealt with in the chapter. Given the highly subjective nature of many of the issues
dealt with, and the different moral and ethical positions that are possible, such
discussion topics provide an opportunity to explore the sources of the complexity
of the major decisions that individuals must make in a post-traditional context.
The vignettes relate to one another, given that the individuals involved
are related or have important interactions with one another. Yet each chapter,
including the vignette that motivates it, is self-contained and can be read
independently. The book begins with a general theoretical discussion of
morality and ethics, largely informed by the literature on medical ethics. We
then proceed to a discussion of changing family forms, including the growing
acceptance and legality of same-sex marriage, and the growth in the number of
cohabiting couples. We then move to an examination of the moral and ethical
dimensions of the specific problem areas mentioned above.
The following chapters are informed by nearly 30 years of intellectual
interactions with colleagues, reviewers, critics, and research subjects. Our areas
of research expertise include the study of minority populations, public policy,
demography, and social stratification. Our approach to ethics is based on the
practical issues that arise in these areas. We would like to acknowledge our
colleagues at the University of Texas at Austin, including the Department of
Sociology, the LBJ School of Public Affairs, and the Population Research Center.
1
CHANGING
INTERGENERATIONAL
FAMILY DEPENDENCE

A Difficult Family Decision

As they approach retirement Mary and John Gallegos face a new and difficult
situation involving John’s father, Phillip. Phil is 82 and during the last year his
health has deteriorated rapidly. It is clear that his wife Louise, who is 79 and not
in the best of health herself, cannot take care of him alone. Mary, who is non-
Hispanic and white is 56, and John, who is Mexican American, is 61. The couple
has been married for thirty-two years and they have faced crises before, but
this is different. The situation is a bit difficult to explain, largely because there
are so many family members involved and because of the potentially serious
consequences of a parent’s loss of autonomy. Mary and John’s situation, though,
illustrates many of the ethical and practical aspects of the almost inevitable
decisions that families must face in dealing with aging parents. In order to better
understand those ethical and practical challenges we must describe Mary and
John’s situation and that of their family in some detail.
This is the second marriage for both Mary and John. Mary has a daughter,
Sharon, from a previous marriage. Sharon is 34, has two children, and lives
with her husband in another state. Together Mary and John have a son named
Randy and a daughter who they named Eloise after an aunt. Eloise is 18 and a
business major at the local state college. Mary and John are paying her tuition
and board. Randy, who is 24, has been unable to find employment after being
discharged from the National Guard and serving two tours in Afghanistan. He
has no income and is living temporarily with Mary and John. John is a high-
school physics teacher and Mary works as a receptionist at a real estate firm. In
addition to a mortgage on which they owe $98,000, paying for Eloise’s college
education and supporting Randy represent major expenses that leave the couple
little to save for retirement.
2 Changing Intergenerational Family Dependence

Mary and John have lived in the city in which John grew up since they were
married. His parents, Louise and Phil live a few miles away. Phil worked at many
manual jobs over the years and has been retired since he was 65. Louise was a
full-time homemaker. They own a modest home worth $158,000, have savings
and other assets that are worth approximately $102,000, and have a combined
income of $3,500 per month from Social Security and a small pension from
one of Phil’s previous jobs. During the last year Phil has become incontinent
and has experienced serious memory and mood problems. His physical and
mental decline is accelerating and Louise can no longer take care of him, nor
can she deal with his confusion and frequent emotional outbursts. As we noted,
Phil’s condition is the source of Mary and John’s new dilemma, but in order
to understand the situation and the possible courses of action open to them we
need a bit more information about the family.
John has a younger sister, Carol, who is married and has two children. She
lives in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania with her husband Andrew, an attorney who
makes a comfortable living. Carol has been a fourth grade teacher for over
20 years. She has seniority, earns a nice salary, and participates in the school
district’s pension plan. But let us return to Mary, John’s wife. Her parents are
both remarried and in their late seventies. They and their new spouses are
functioning well, although as they age their health is declining and it is clear
that all four could eventually need assistance. They live in another city in which
Mary’s brother, Neil, also lives with his wife and their two children.
Herein lies the dilemma: since Phil can no longer live at home with only
Louise to care for him something has to be done, but the options are neither
obvious nor particularly attractive. Like most of us, John had never given any
thought to the fact that his parents might one day become dependent. Life had
just gone on as usual until the crisis came upon them. Phil and Louise had always
supported and cared for themselves. They put John and his sister Carol through
school and were as generous as parents on a modest income could be. Both John
and Mary feel a strong bond of affection for Phil and they share a sense of filial
responsibility for him. But here noble sentiments meet practical reality.
Through most of human history elderly parents lived with their family until
they died, which usually occurred at a much younger age than is typical today,
or they would have had to seek the charitable support of their local congregation
or gone to the poor house or asylum. As families have changed fewer are either
structurally or financially able to assume full responsibility for aging parents.
Smaller families, the migration of children far from their parent’s home, and
the fact that women no longer stay at home to care for children or aging parents
have resulted in a brave new world of eldercare. Let us review the potential
options in Phil’s case, as well as the decisions that he and his family members
must make. One option would be for Mary to quit her job and become a full-
time caregiver. Although daughters-in-law might have been available to do so
Changing Intergenerational Family Dependence 3

in earlier eras, such a possibility is less common today. Mary and John have a
daughter in college and an unemployed son to support, they have a mortgage to
pay off, and they must save what they can for their own retirements. For either
John or Mary to quit working could result in financial disaster.
Perhaps John’s sister, Carol, could assume the role of caregiver. Again, though,
Carol has children and other responsibilities. Even though her husband’s income
is high, the family has come to rely on her salary to maintain their upper middle
class lifestyle. In addition, for Carol to assume the role of main caregiver Phil
and Louise would have to move. Although many adult children live with their
aging parents, given the social and structural changes in the family and greatly
increased lifespans, that living arrangement is less common than in the past. If
Phil and Louise do not move in with one of their children or if the children do
not move in with them, the family must consider other options.
There are really only two other options, although there are many variations
among each that we will discuss in detail in later chapters. The first is for Phil to
remain in his home in the community with the help of skilled professionals and
perhaps volunteers to help with his basic needs. Given Phil’s incontinence and
serious cognitive impairment, that care would need to be nearly constant. The
second option is for Phil to enter a nursing home. Both of these options raise
important moral, as well as practical issues largely related to who pays for either
community or nursing home care. As we describe later, although many adult
children provide some level of material support to their aging parents, for the
most part we have socialized the financial support of the elderly through Social
Security, Medicare, and Medicaid which pays for long-term care for those who
do not have the resources to pay out-of-pocket.
Although Social Security was never meant to be one’s sole source of income,
for nearly 65 percent of older adults it makes up over half of their total income.
We characterize Social Security as the socialization of the financial support of the
elderly because of the fact that it is not an annuity. One might imagine that one’s
Social Security payroll deduction goes into a personal savings or investment
account during one’s working years, but it does not. Current retirees are
supported directly by current workers. This arrangement represents a practical
way of supporting retired workers as long as there are many workers contributing
to the support of each retiree. Increasingly, that is not the case, and situations
in which only two or three workers are responsible for the support of each
retiree are unsustainable. The solution in many nations has been to move from
traditional pension systems to systems that require individuals to save for their
own retirements in 401K type plans. Although this might deal with the long-
term fiscal problems of traditional pension systems, such reforms do so at the
expense of the intergenerational solidarity on which such systems were based.
A major ethical issue that Phil’s situation highlights relates to children’s
responsibility for dependent parents. Simple equity would require that since
4 Changing Intergenerational Family Dependence

one’s parents provided all of one’s financial support during one’s childhood and
often beyond, one is obliged to support them if they cannot support themselves.
In Phil’s case, why shouldn’t John, Mary, John’s sister Carol, and her husband
pay for any care that he needs? As we discuss in Chapter 6, several states have
laws on the books that require adult children to provide financial support to
their dependent parents, although those laws are rarely enforced.
Since Phil and Louise own a home and have some savings, as well as their
own income, one might imagine that there really is no problem. Phil and Louise
can pay for Phil’s long-term care from their savings and they can sell their house
if necessary, even if that means that their estate might be depleted, leaving little
or nothing for their children to inherit. The problem arises from the fact that
given increasing lifespans many individuals have far too little saved to last until
death. Care in skilled nursing facilities is extremely expensive and can quickly
deplete an individual’s or a couple’s assets. Before they can receive Medicaid,
which is the major source of funding for nursing home care for individuals with
few assets or income, individuals and couples must spend most of their wealth,
as well as a portion of their joint income. In the case in which one spouse must
be institutionalized and the other remains in the community, the community
dwelling spouse often has to survive on very little. Again this situation raises
important ethical issues concerning the responsibility of adult children.
Although the decision concerning Phil represents the immediate family
dilemma, if we look into the future we come to the realization that it represents
only a small part of what John, Mary, and their siblings will have to deal with in
the years to come. Remember that Mary’s parents are each remarried and they
and their new spouses are in their late seventies. This means that in addition to
Phil and Louise, the couple could find themselves responsible for four more
aging individuals who might need long-term care. If there are many children
who live close to their parents, as was often the case in the past, those children
could potentially pool their resources to support their aging parents. Today’s
smaller families, like Social Security systems with fewer workers for each retiree,
can be quickly strained to breaking point. If adult children were legally required
to support their impoverished parents, John and Mary could find themselves
at least partially responsible for up to six older adults. Clearly, such a situation
is untenable and in the modern world the socialization of much of the care of
aging parents is basically inevitable.
Since some decision must be made concerning at least Phil’s short-term
living arrangements, John, Mary, and John’s sister Carol decide that they have
no choice but to place Phil in a local nursing home. Louise and Phil will draw
upon savings and their other assets to pay for the care. There is a four-month
waiting list for a semi-private room, and the annual cost will be over $75,000. A
private room would be far more expensive. Clearly, at this rate Louise and Phil’s
savings will not last long, but the family sees no immediate alternative. They
Changing Intergenerational Family Dependence 5

clearly need expert help and a longer-term plan. A family friend suggests that
they contact a local non-governmental organization that deals with eldercare
issues for advice. There they are placed in touch with an elder attorney who
is an expert in estate planning and all aspects of long-term care. With his help
they begin educating themselves concerning various legal and practical issues
related to Phil’s needs, as well as Louise’s situation. For the present, Louise will
continue to live in the home she and Phil bought and have lived in since they
were married. How long she will be able to stay there and what will happen to
the house when she dies are questions we will revisit in later chapters.
It is clear that Mary, John, and Carol will confront increasingly complex
family decisions for many years. Louise and Phil’s health will deteriorate further,
as will that of Mary’s parents. These changes will require difficult decisions that
can create strains and conflicts among family members. Decisions concerning
where older parents live, though, are only part of the problem. In the future
Mary, John, and Carol will be faced with decisions related to medical care, and
at some point they may face truly difficult decisions concerning the end of life
and the cessation of therapeutic interventions. Such decisions must be made by
families whose members are often in emotional turmoil. We will follow Mary
and John, and other family members, as they face these difficult decisions in the
following chapters.
If families shoulder less of the financial and perhaps even the day-to-day
care giving responsibilities for aging parents, who picks up the slack? Clearly,
someone must pay for expensive acute and long-term care. During the twentieth
century, and especially after the Second World War, the modern welfare state has
evolved to guarantee the material welfare of citizens. Even in the United States,
which has a far less extensive welfare state than European countries, individuals
turn to the state in times of need. Although most of us take most aspects of
the welfare state for granted, debates over the morality and consequences of
this shift to a greater dependence on the state continue. Many critics of the
welfare state subscribe to the traditional Catholic principle of “subsidiarity,” a
term that refers to the provision of care at the lowest possible level, preferably
at the level of the family and local community. Socially and ethically, a world in
which the care of elderly parents and other dependent individuals shifts to the
state and becomes professionalized is very different than a world in which one is
exclusively responsible for oneself, one’s family, and one’s neighbors.
In the following chapters we examine the profound implications of the major
social changes that have affected the family and discuss the ethical, as well as
the practical dimensions of a range of social problems related to the care of a
dependent family member, focusing primarily on aging parents. This is far more
than an idle academic exercise. Most of us will find ourselves having to make
major decisions, in conjunction with family members, concerning aging parents
and perhaps younger family members who lose their autonomy.
6 Changing Intergenerational Family Dependence

The Family: The Basic Building Block of Society


At the turn of the twentieth century the social welfare safety net consisted almost
exclusively of the family (Bertaux and Thompson 2005). Aside from charity or
the poor house, those individuals who were unable to support themselves had
few other options (Cole and Edwards 2005). The material quality of life and levels
of consumption were low for all but the small number were very rich. In such a
system intergenerational solidarity was necessary for survival. Although affection
and family loyalty no doubt fostered intergenerational bonds, the clear reality was
that the young owed the elderly material and instrumental support in recognition
of the fact that they would in turn be dependent on their own children.
During the twentieth century and especially following the Second World War,
the modern welfare state emerged, and expectations concerning intergenerational
exchanges and support changed as a result of the growing role of the state in
guaranteeing the social rights of citizens (Beveridge 1942; Marshall 1950).
Retirement systems became common, even in developing nations where they
remain far from universal (Mesa-Lago 2008; Orenstein 2008; Social Security
Administration n.d.). The most common form of pension system, including the
Social Security system established in the United States in 1934, were pay-as-you-
go arrangements, a term that refers to the fact that the support of retired workers
comes directly from the taxes paid by younger workers who are still active in the
labor force. This arrangement, not unlike the earlier dependence on family for
the support of the elderly, created a direct bond of solidarity among older and
younger workers (Bengtson and Achenbaum 1993; Van Praag and Konijn 1983).
The old received the support they needed and the young could expect to benefit
similarly when they eventually retired (Achenbaum 1986).
As we explain in greater detail later, such pay-as-you-go arrangements, also
referred to as defined-benefit systems to emphasize the fact that one receives
a regular set amount upon retirement, are being replaced by what are termed
defined-contribution arrangements (Orenstein 2011). Defined contribution
refers to a very different arrangement that is based on a rejection of the older
notion of intergenerational solidarity (Zaidi, Gasior and Manchin 2012). The
term refers to a savings and investment plan in which a worker invests for his
or her own retirement during the working years. No longer is one’s pension
paid by current workers. Instead, solidarity is redefined as a contract between
one’s younger and older self. A worker’s financial situation in old age depends
on his or her own savings, investment decisions, and the whims of the market.
After his successful 2004 Presidential race George Bush entertained the idea of
introducing at least a partial defined-contribution component to Social Security.
The proposal was widely opposed and as of yet Social Security operates on a
defined-benefit basis. Private businesses, on the other hand, have rapidly
adopted a defined-contribution model of retirement savings.
Changing Intergenerational Family Dependence 7

A defined-contribution approach to retirement savings prioritizes the long-


term financial sustainability of retirement systems, and the long-term fiscal
dilemma is indeed very real. As populations age the cost of supporting large
numbers of retired citizens grows rapidly. Although the solidarity inherent in
defined-benefit pension systems may be desirable, it may simply have to be
sacrificed to avoid complete system collapse. The problem is easily illustrated.
In 1950 in the United States there were 16.5 workers for each retired Social
Security beneficiary. Today that number is less than three (2.8 in 2014), and it
will decrease further to 2.1 workers by 2050 (OASDI Trustees 2015). In such
a scenario each worker would have to pay the majority of his or her earnings
in Social Security taxes. Critics of pay-as-you-go arrangements suggest that
in addition to creating unsupportable long-term fiscal burdens, such a system
inevitably creates resentment and intergenerational tensions and will ultimately
be rejected by workers (Lee and Mason 2011; Orenstein 2008; Piñera 1995/96;
Van Praag and Konijn 1983).
It is fairly obvious how a defined-contribution system addresses the long-
term fiscal problems of pay-as-you-go arrangements. Our main point, though,
is that these two retirement systems solve different problems. Defined-
contribution systems solve very real fiscal and tax burden problems, but they do
so at the expense of the intergenerational solidarity on which older pay-as-you-
go systems were based. What the loss of this intergenerational solidarity means
for the social order in a larger sense is unclear. Examining various possibilities of
this and other major social changes that have affected the family as a care-giving
and emotional support system is our objective in this book.

The Rise of Post-Traditional Family Forms


Retirement income and support is only one domain in which intergenerational
relations are changing. Sexuality, marriage, childrearing, work, leisure, religious
participation, politics and more are undergoing radical changes. Today we live
in a truly post-traditional society, by which we mean one in which the values,
norms, and accepted social arrangements of earlier eras no longer rule our lives
(Giddens 1991, 1994b). Exhibit 1.1 presents excerpts from the United States
Supreme Court’s 2015 ruling that made same-sex marriage legal in all 50 states.
It was the culmination of many decades of struggle by the LGBTQ (lesbian, gay,
bisexual, transgender, and queer) community (Litpak 2015). The 5 to 4 ruling
reversed years of legal rejection and public stigmatization of same-sex marriage
and reflected a profound transformation in public attitudes.
Of course, many individuals and even members of the court disagreed with
the majority opinion. Kim Davis, county clerk of Rowan County Kentucky
refused to sign marriage licenses for same-sex couples since doing so violated
her deeply held religious beliefs. When given the choice of avoiding jail if she
8 Changing Intergenerational Family Dependence

EXHIBIT 1.1
U.S. Supreme Court Decision on Same-Sex Marriage

Michigan, Kentucky, Ohio, and Tennessee define marriage as a union between


one man and one woman. The petitioners, 14 same-sex couples and two
men whose same-sex partners are deceased, filed suits in Federal District
Courts in their home States, claiming that respondent state officials violate
the Fourteenth Amendment by denying them the right to marry or to have
marriages lawfully performed in another State given full recognition. Each
District Court ruled in petitioners’ favor, but the Sixth Circuit consolidated the
cases and reversed.
Held: The Fourteenth Amendment requires a State to license a marriage
between two people of the same sex and to recognize a marriage between
two people of the same sex when their marriage was lawfully licensed and
performed out-of-State.
Roberts, C.J. dissenting:

Although the policy arguments for extending marriage to same-sex couples


may be compelling, the legal arguments for requiring such an extension
are not. The fundamental right to marry does not include a right to make
a State change its definition of marriage. And a State’s decision to maintain
the meaning of marriage that has persisted in every culture throughout
human history can hardly be called irrational. In short, our Constitution
does not enact any one theory of marriage. The people of a State are free
to expand marriage to include same-sex couples, or to retain the historic
definition.

Scalia, J. dissenting:

Today’s decree says that my Ruler, and the Ruler of 320 million Americans
coast-to-coast, is a majority of the nine lawyers on the Supreme Court. The
opinion in these cases is the furthest extension in fact—and the furthest
extension one can even imagine—of the Court’s claimed power to create
“liberties” that the Constitution and its Amendments neglect to mention.
This practice of constitutional revision by an unelected committee of nine,
always accompanied (as it is today) by extravagant praise of liberty, robs
the People of the most important liberty they asserted in the Declaration of
Independence and won in the Revolution of 1776: the freedom to govern
themselves.

Supreme Court of the United States 2015


Changing Intergenerational Family Dependence 9

would authorize her employees to sign the licenses she refused and spent five
days in jail (Higdon and Somashekhar 2015). Davis may have been an extreme
case, but many others still have trouble with the ruling. Exhibit 1.1 also presents
excerpts from Justice Robert’s and Justice Scalia’s dissenting opinions. There can
be no doubt that the decision clearly takes us into a new era. Until the latter half
of the twentieth century the traditional family was the building block of society
(Hareven 2000). Other institutions like the church and schools were important,
but social and economic survival largely depended on the family, which was
organized on the basis of fairly strict gender roles. That has changed and today
the family is only one of several institutions that govern social life and on which
we all depend.
Today the modern welfare state provides many of the protections against
illness, poverty, unemployment, disability, and more that were the responsibility
of the family in earlier eras. Some observers have labeled this shift from an
almost exclusive reliance on the family to an increased role of the state as the
“de-familization” of social welfare (Cho 2014). In this book we use that term
along with the term “socialization” to refer to the fact that many family support
responsibilities, like the financial support of the elderly, have been socialized,
that is, they have been made the responsibility of the collectivity rather than
solely that of the family. Although the family remains the fundamental building
block of society, it takes on very different forms than in traditional times, and
reproduction and childrearing take place in many different contexts (Skolnick
1991; Stacey 1996). Divorce, remarriage, cohabitation, out-of-wedlock
child-rearing, and more mean that adults experience intimacy and children grow
up in many different situations.

Condemned to Choice
Obviously many individuals today marry a member of the opposite sex, have
children, participate in religious services, and do much more that appears highly
traditional. What is different, though, is that the adherence to any of these practices
is a choice. Traditional culture was coercive and one paid a social, if not a physical,
price for violating its norms. Today such sanctions are much weaker or do not
exist at all. As a consequence, one is forced to choose how to live. Each of us has
multiple options in lifestyle and choosing among them is not always easy.
A dilemma that being forced to make important personal life decisions
presents relates to the age-old conflict between freedom and security. When one
lives in a world in which one has little choice as to what occupation one will
pursue, who one marries, and whether or not to have children, many personal
and social conflicts are avoided. With more freedom, rather than conforming
to norms and group expectations, one must decide how to live and that reality
can introduce a great deal of uncertainty and anxiety. A young person entering
10 Changing Intergenerational Family Dependence

college must decide what major to choose and what occupation to prepare for.
For many this can be stressful. In many ways it is easier to be told what to do, but
of course, that deprives one of the ability to experiment with one’s life.
Although it is probably here to stay, post-traditional society, particularly its
welfare state aspects, continues to face opposition and condemnation, largely
because of its impact on traditional values related to marriage, reproduction, and
the family. Since the seventeenth century in England and elsewhere, and since
colonial times in the United States the debate over who is deserving of public
assistance or welfare has continued (Etzioni 1993, 1995, 1996, 2000; Katz 1986,
1989). The debate is fueled by fundamental differences in how individuals view
rights and responsibilities, and the belief by many that welfare undermines the
family with seriously negative consequences for children.
Despite these objections, though, the welfare state has evolved and has
become a permanent aspect of modern life. It reflects a growing acceptance
by most people of the proposition that for individuals or families who cannot
provide for themselves some level of material support at public expense is a
right. The modern welfare state goes beyond this safety net perspective, though,
to define universal healthcare, child care, publicly-funded education, and more
as social rights for everyone (Beveridge 1942; Marshall 1950). The right of those
who cannot support themselves to public support has always been contested,
and the growing fiscal crisis of the welfare state has given rise to a “new third
way” philosophy, which holds that in return for support one must accept certain
responsibilities, the most important of which is accepting whatever employment
is available (Giddens 1994a, 1999; Pierson 2001, 2006). Throughout the
following chapters welfare state institutions figure importantly in the moral and
ethical issues we discuss. As the family changes in size and function, the welfare
state becomes ever more pervasive in our lives, and may, as many critics argue,
itself contribute to those changes.

What is a Family?
Before proceeding it would be useful to briefly reflect on the meaning of
family, especially since as we argue in this book, the definition and the range
of relationships that we might consider to be families is much broader today
than in the past. In addition its function has changed from the purely practical
objective of defining kinship and lineage to one of providing affective rewards
and love. For our purposes the term “family” refers to a group of people who
share many aspects of their lives and who usually live together, at least during
part of their lives, as before children grow up and move away from their parent’s
home. According to the U.S. Census Bureau a family is a group of individuals
related to each other by blood, marriage or adoption (Vespa, Lewis and Kreider
2013). Their identity as a family continues for life. Even after children grow
Changing Intergenerational Family Dependence 11

up and move away their emotional ties to parents and their identity as a family
remain (Bengtson 2001).
For conservatives and traditionalists the term family refers exclusively to an
arrangement such as that of Ozzie and Harriet or the Waltons. Such families are
centered on a heterosexual married couple in a nuclear or extended household.
However it is structured, though, the family is a basic unit of production and
consumption, as well as a source of emotional support. Perhaps today we should
add personal choice to blood, marriage, or adoption in the definition of family
since some individuals cohabit and do not marry, although they have children
and consider themselves a family. In addition to providing its members’ material
and emotional well-being, a family’s purpose is to legitimate children and define
lineage, as well as to determine who is responsible for whom. New family forms
complicate those objectives since families can consist of married or unmarried
parents, same-sex partners, half-siblings, or unrelated siblings with different
parents and grandparents, and more.
Throughout the book we will discuss various aspects of the “male-
breadwinner model” of marriage and family life. This label refers to the
traditional situation in which the male partner in a heterosexual union went
out to earn a living and the female partner stayed home to care for the home,
children, and aging parents. Our objective is to examine the implications of the
changes in family life that have made the male-breadwinner arrangement less
common. Today, same-sex couples, cohabiting couples, divorced individuals,
and others demand to be treated, legally and socially, as families. As we discuss
in later chapters, opinion polls reveal a rapid acceptance of same-sex marriage,
even though a vociferous minority are still opposed.
Many of the normative changes we deal with are the result, at least partially,
of new technologies that alter basic human relationships. Automobiles,
supermarkets, shopping malls, communication technologies, in addition to
modern household conveniences, and more have greatly contributed to the
growing irrelevance of the male-breadwinner family model. The traditional
gender-based division of household labor is no longer necessary. Modern
technologies provide vastly new options in the way we live and work. Yet new
technologies can result in serious ethical dilemmas that affect the family and
even change its definition. Families, even if they are not bisexual reproductive
unions, begin with birth. Everyone must have a mother and father. Yet beyond
that obvious fact, the options in how birth occurs or even who one’s mother
and father are can become complex. Exhibit 1.2 provides an example of
possibilities that simply did not exist in traditional societies. New reproductive
technologies permit individuals who could not otherwise have children to
do so, but they raise serious ethical dilemmas that the courts, legislation, and
science are scrambling to deal with. We will discuss these in greater detail in
later chapters.
12 Changing Intergenerational Family Dependence

EXHIBIT 1.2
Reproductive Technology and Ethical Dilemmas

Shortly after she was married to Stephen Findley in 2010, Dr. Mimi Lee of San
Francisco was diagnosed with breast cancer. She feared that the treatment
she needed would leave her infertile, so she and her husband decided to
freeze five fertilized embryos. As is common in fertility clinics they signed
a supposedly binding consent agreement that stated that in the case of a
divorce the embryos would be destroyed. In reality this technology is so new
and the cases so few that the courts are still in the process of deciding whether
such agreements are binding.
Unfortunately, the marriage soured and ended in an acrimonious divorce.
Since Lee was 46 years old her only realistic chance of having a baby would
be to have the embryos implanted, which is what she wanted to do. Findley
was opposed. He did not want to be bound to Lee for life through a child. Lee
sued, challenging the validity of the consent agreement.
On November 18, 2015 Superior Court Judge Anne-Christine Massullo
upheld the consent agreement. She ruled that the agreement was binding
and that Findley could not be forced into parenthood against his will. The
judge did not believe Lee’s claim that she thought the consent agreement was
only advisory and that she could change her mind.
Although the number of cases involving fertilized embryos is small, all of
the court decisions have been in favor of the partner who does not wish to
procreate. Avoiding forced parenthood, it appears, supersedes the desires
of an individual who wishes to have a child under these circumstances. This
tragic case illustrates the serious ethical and legal dilemmas that modern
reproductive technologies can bring about. Perhaps in these cases the
problem will be solved by each partner freezing their own eggs or sperm prior
to fertilization. Technological progress though will in all likelihood produce
more complex ethical dilemmas that individuals, families, ethicists, the courts,
legislatures, religious leaders, and others will have to confront.

Dolan 2015; Ludden 2015

The New Vertically Extended Kin System


In this and the following chapters we focus on the family as a decision-making
unit, as well as a mutually supportive entity. It is important therefore to consider
how family structure, and specifically how the new family structures, affect
the relative positions of family members in terms of communication, power,
Changing Intergenerational Family Dependence 13

and input into decision making. Let us begin with major demographic changes
that have affected the structure of kin systems in ways that potentially affect
interactions among generations. We also briefly review some major theories
of family structure and function and some of the major feminist critiques of
patriarchy, which its critics see as intimately intertwined with the traditional
male-breadwinner family form.
The twentieth century saw major increases in lifespans at birth and at older
ages. Today, individuals who survive to 65 are highly likely to live for many more
years. This fact increases the number of generations alive at the same time and
raises intriguing possibilities concerning the ways in which different generations
might potentially interact. In 1990 Bengtson, Rosenthal, and Burton observed
that the dramatic changes in mortality and fertility that followed the demographic
transition have created a family structure that is vertically extended rather than
horizontally extended (Bengtson, Rosenthal and Burton 1990). This fact has
potentially important implications for interactions among family members of
different ages. Let us explain why. On the one hand, lower fertility means that
one has fewer members of one’s own generation, including brothers, sisters, and
cousins with whom to interact than was the case in the past. On the other hand,
lower mortality and longer lifespans means that more generations are alive at the
same time, so one has the opportunity of interacting with several generations
including parents, grandparents, and even great grandparents. If one has children
that introduces the possibility of five generations alive at the same time.
As we discuss further below, although it may be the case that a larger number
of generations are available to potentially interact and provide mutual material
and psychological support, we have little information about how much support is
provided beyond one generation. Available data suggest that material exchanges
are primarily between parents and children, and largely from the older to the
younger generation. As we discuss in greater detail later, in the modern welfare
state the financial support of parents has been de-familized and socialized, and
although children may provide a significant amount of instrumental support
to parents and even grandparents, few assume full financial responsibility for
them. An examination of actual data from various countries indicates that few
people actually have multiple generations available (Farkas and Hogan 1995). In
addition Peter Laslett found that in England the extended family was uncommon
well before the industrial revolution (Laslett 1965).
In any case, we know little about actual intergenerational support and
interactions. In an informative qualitative study of Korean immigrants, Grace
Yoo and Barbara Kim show how culture, in combination with necessity, leads the
children of immigrants to assume a great deal of responsibility for their parents
(Yoo and Kim 2014). Some even expect to support them financially, reflecting
a highly developed sense of filial piety among Korean and Korean American
families. Yet these immigrant families are far from their extended kin networks
14 Changing Intergenerational Family Dependence

in Korea, and exchanges and support seem to be primarily between children and
parents. In another study of Mexican immigrants to the United States, Montes
De Oca and colleagues show that support and exchanges among parents and
children remain strong until the parents die and then ties to the old community
fade (Montes De Oca, Montes, Molina and Avalos 2008). Later we raise the
possibility that fictive kin and non-family volunteers may play a more significant
role in the support and care of the elderly than extended family members.

Theories of Family Interactions: The Family as a Functional


Structure
Since we are dealing with the social changes that affect families and interpersonal
relations we briefly review various theories concerning how the family
functions and how gender roles, as well as the relative positions of power and
influence of family members are determined. Talcott Parsons, a functionalist
theorist, describes the family in terms of a system of interconnected conjugal
relationships. By this he means that the extended family consists of a collection
of nuclear units, consisting of married couples and their children. In the
modern world those nuclear units remain fairly isolated. Parsons notes that we
can “…conclude that in a peculiar sense which is not equally applicable to other
systems the marriage bond, in our society, is the main structural keystone of the
kinship system” (Parsons 1949, p. 252). An individual is a core member of two
conjugal units: his or her family of origin into which he or she is born, and his
or her family of procreation, which is created through marriage and into which
children are born. An individual’s relationship to other conjugal units defines
the larger extended family in which ties become more tenuous as one moves
outward toward aunts, uncles, cousins, and others. Second and third cousins
can be little different than strangers.
Parsons goes on to claim that the conjugal family has been isolated structurally
from other conjugal units, which means that a married couple is not supported
by strong kinship ties to other adults (p. 252). Parsons also notes that in this
system the choice of marriage partner is a matter of personal choice that is not
constrained by kinship rules or tribal loyalties, or in other words, tradition. Love
rather than the need to fit into a kinship system motivates the choice of a mate.
Parsons ties the emergence and dominance of the conjugal, or nuclear family,
to the modern occupational system and the male-breadwinner model that we
have mentioned. He also notes that rather than tradition, efficiency determines
which structures dominate. As he says, “[t]he rightness of behavior is judged by
its objective efficiency not by its conformity with models of the past” (p. 261).
The conjugal family is particularly well suited structurally for industrial
society since it is highly mobile. It also segregates family roles and occupational
roles on a gender basis and socializes children into those roles. Functional
Changing Intergenerational Family Dependence 15

theories of all sorts have been criticized for their explicit or implicit assumption
that the social organizations that rule our lives have evolved to serve vital system
support functions rather than reflecting historical class and gender-based
conflicts, a position which critics see as inherently conservative.

The Family as Relations of Power


While functionalists like Parsons find that the nuclear family structure is
functional and particularly well suited to industrial society, radical and Marxist
feminist theorists see it as dysfunctional and based on an inequitable division
of market and domestic labor and power (Barrett 2014; Greer 1971; Millett
1970). For these critics the family is defined by patriarchy, which is based on
and maintains the subjugation of women. The only solution is a rejection of
patriarchy and perhaps the establishment of matrifocal and matrilocal families.
For Marxist feminists, patriarchy is closely tied to the capitalist mode of
production so the defeat of patriarchy requires a larger social revolution. The
essence of these approaches, though, is a focus on unequal power and the
socializing function of the family. Largely through the example of parents, the
family reinforces subservience in girls and a sense of superiority in boys.
Liberal feminists find this radical critique overstated and they concede that
women have experienced much progress in their relative position in the family
and society at large, although they identify serious inequities in the division of
household and market-based labor (Somerville 2000). Liberal feminists offer
a less radical view of the family than their more radical colleagues, but still see
traditional sex roles as a source of the oppression of women and call for changes
in public policies and practices that reinforce gender-based inequalities.

The Family as a System of Interacting Individuals


While radical and Marxist feminist theories focus on the family as part of larger
social and cultural systems of oppression, other more psychological theories
focus on the family as a system of interacting individuals whose behavior is
affected by and in turn affects everyone in the system (Broderick 1993). Family
systems theory rejects individually oriented conceptions of behavior which locate
the source of particular actions within the individual him or herself. Rather, this
approach, which informs much family therapy, focuses on interactions among
family members to locate the source of one member’s supposed behavior
problems in the interactions between the identified patient and other family
members (Johnson and Ray 2016).
Traditional Freudian psychoanalysis located the source of adult neuroses in
the interaction of the child with his or her parents in infancy and childhood.
Although it focused on interactions involving parents it focused on the past
16 Changing Intergenerational Family Dependence

and did not view the family as an ongoing system of interactions. Traditional
psychoanalytic talk therapy focused on the patient and his or her thought
processes and experiences based in the past. Systems-based family therapy, on
the other hand, focuses on ongoing interactions among the participants of the
system with an eye toward changing those interactions to eliminate the source
of the problem behavior. Such a systems orientation fosters communication and
changing interactions with an eye toward fostering family resilience in the face of
the inevitable crises families face (Walsh 2016). It also recognizes the emergence
of multiple family forms and the need to understand communication patterns
among family members in all situations.
For our purposes the utility of these theories is that they illustrate the great
range of views concerning how families function and how they relate to larger
social structures. They make it clear that the prescription of a single or even
limited set of family forms no longer makes sense. In a book first published
in 1949, American anthropologist George Peter Murdock reviewed studies
of over 250 cultures and came to the conclusion that the family, consisting of
parents and children, was a central social institution in all of them (Murdock
1949). Murdock’s conclusion was widely criticized as ideological. Even then
critics pointed out that there are many different family types in the world. If the
biological reality of parents and children is universal, who those parents are and
how they relate to the children to whom they give birth is not.
Some of these theories reject the traditional family form altogether. Others
focus on interactions among individuals within the family, whoever it includes.
What seems useful about these theories is that they draw attention to the fact
that relative power and influence differ among family members and that the
relative satisfaction of any individual family member and the functioning
of the whole system is the result of interaction and negotiation. Perhaps
Parsons’ functionalism is closest to traditional view of the family, but even he
acknowledges changes in the family that are brought about by larger social
transformations. All of these theories emphasize the fact that family members
act in accordance with their material and affective needs, and they remind us
that this system is embedded in larger cultural, economic, and political systems
that define community and society. Whether they view those larger systems
as oppressive and patriarchal, or as arenas in which individuals negotiate with
others to optimize their satisfaction, the existence of multiple theories of the
family make it clear that there is no one ideal or morally dominant family form.

The Meaning and Sources of Solidarity


Given the centrality of the concept of “solidarity” to our presentation we proceed
with a short review of the history and meaning of the concept and what it conveys
in the context of our discussion. According to the Merriam-Webster online
Changing Intergenerational Family Dependence 17

dictionary the term solidarity refers to “unity (as of a group or class) that produces
or is based on community of interests, objectives, and standards.” The terms
“community,” “interests,” “objectives,” and “standards” clearly convey the sense of
two or more individuals who share common interests and, in the extreme, count
on one another for basic support and survival. Most simply, solidarity for our
purposes refers to interdependence among two or more individuals that is based
either on instrumental needs, such as the dependence of a child on his parents for
the basic necessities of life, or affective criteria, such as the love and affection and
sense of duty that family members feel for one another. Relationships can clearly
share aspects of both, as when a group bands together to resist an enemy both for
the practical need for defense and out of a sense of loyalty to the group.
The sources of solidarity have occupied social theorists and observers for
centuries. It would be useful to mention two classical theorists and relate their
concepts of the sources of solidarity to our discussion. In 1887 German sociologist
Ferdinand Tönnies published Gemeinschaft und Gesellschaft (Community and
Society) in which he distinguished two different forms of social interaction that
define different forms of group solidarity (Tönnies 2002 (1887)). Gemeinschaft,
or community, characterizes groups and societies in which an individual’s place
is determined and guided by traditional mores and norms. In this form of society
the individual is subordinate to the group, as is the case in tribal societies, the
family, and inclusive religious orders. Gesellschaft, or society, on the other hand,
refers to a society that is not based on kinship or close ties and in which the
relationships among members are based on contracts and individual self-interest
rather than tradition and strict norms. Gesellschaft is clearly characteristic of
modern societies in which the complex division of labor means that individuals
do not engage in the same simple tribal or village activities.
A similar distinction was proposed in 1893 by Émile Durkheim in his doctoral
dissertation, De la Division Du Travail Social; Étude Sur L’Organisation Des
Sociétés Supérieures (The Division of Labor in Society: A Study of the Organization of
Complex Societies) (Durkheim 1893). Durkheim was interested in the evolution
of modern sources of solidarity and their relationship to the complexity of
modern society. Similar to Tönnies’ contrast, Durkheim differentiated between
what he termed “mechanical” and “organic” solidarity. Mechanical solidarity
refers to preindustrial tribal societies, which were largely based on kinship and
in which the social order was maintained by strict norms and traditions. These
norms defined one’s place in society, as well as one’s rights and responsibilities.
Organic solidarity, on the other hand, characterizes modern complex industrial
societies and reflects a more complex division of labor and activities in which
coordination and cooperation are necessary. Rather than strict rules, contracts
among different actors assure the social order.
Tönnies’ and Durkheim’s theories, then, speak directly to issues that motivate
our discussion. Our post-traditional modern world is based increasingly on
18 Changing Intergenerational Family Dependence

organic solidarity. In the developed world ties and obligations among people and
groups are based on negotiation and specific contracts. Clearly traditional societies
continue to exist, and fundamentalists of all sorts attempt to resurrect the more
structured systems of the past as part of the rejection of the moral ambiguity
of modernism. Nonetheless, as a neoliberal market-based economic and social
model becomes dominant, globally traditional forms of solidarity are further
altered. In the absence of clear and enforced norms and rules of interaction, the
bases of the contracts that govern social interactions and that ultimately assure
our social order are matters of debate. As we will discuss, communitarians,
religious traditionalists, conservatives, and other critics of the modern welfare
state wish to strengthen aspects of community and reaffirm the traditional values
that they believe are the only source of personal responsibility and a collective
sense of equity and solidarity. The question remains as to the degree to which the
return to tradition is possible under any imaginable circumstances.

The Economics of Emotional Commitment


If in post-traditional society behaviors and actions are no longer based on a universal
doctrinal morality dictated by religion or the state, what is the basis of morality
and how do individuals make decisions concerning ethically charged issues? Let
us begin by distinguishing between morality and ethics. In what follows we use
the term “moral” to refer to abstract or general rules of conduct and action that
differentiate between good and bad behavior. We use the term “ethics” or “ethical”
to refer to the more specific choices concerning appropriate behavior or actions
in specific situations. A moral principle would be the inviolate rule that “one shall
not steal.” An ethical principle would be the judgment that borrowing someone
else’s prose without proper attribution is stealing. The key point is that choices
must be made on the basis of some consideration of their consequences, and those
are not always clear. As we proceed we examine both the morality and ethical
principles involved in important individual and family decisions.
Our approach is motivated by a general exchange theory that provides a
conceptual model of how individuals relate to one another in relationships and
what makes them feel that they are being treated equitably (Blau 1964; Cook et al.
2013; Homans 1961; Walster, Berscheid and Walster 1973). We also draw attention
to factors that affect exchanges among individuals and groups in situations in which
the participants have different levels of material and social power and resources. A
major question we address relates to the extent to which individuals in various
positions in families of various sorts have different levels of legitimacy or authority
and input into major family decisions. Does, for example, a cohabiting partner have
the same authority as a married spouse in family decisions concerning medical care
for a partner’s child or aging parent? In all likelihood an individual’s input into such
decisions is affected by other aspects of the relationship, such as the level and nature
Changing Intergenerational Family Dependence 19

of communication among family members and their acceptance of this individual.


Nonetheless, it is possible that factors related to family form independently affect
the possibilities for interaction among family members.

Exchange Theory and Family Decision Making


Let us be a bit more specific about our use of exchange theory, which is a general
focus that informs our discussion of post-traditional ethics throughout the book.
Exchange theory was introduced over half a century ago by George Homans, a
Harvard sociologist. It represents a synthesis of social psychology and economics
in the explanation of human motivations and social behavior (Homans 1961).
Exchange theory is useful in explaining why individuals in relationships of various
sorts remain committed to the relationship or reject it and leave. Such theories are
unnecessary to explain social cohesion in traditional societies since relationships,
such as that between the lord of the manor and his peasants, were institutionalized
and coerced. Today, rather than simply reflecting adherence to rules and norms,
relationships among people represent exchanges, much like exchanges in the
market, except that in relationships, in addition to material goods and welfare, the
exchange involves emotions. In ancient times marriages were exchanges carried
out for the good of a large kin network, today they are based on love and a sense
of fulfillment among the partners (Cherlin 2009, 2013).
An important characteristic of successful relationships is the feeling among
all participants that they are being treated fairly and that they are receiving
whatever the relationship offers in proportion to what they are contributing.
For individuals in any form of marriage, including traditional, same-sex, and
even cohabiting, one’s sense that the relationship is equitable depends on one’s
subjective evaluation of the costs versus the benefits of staying. If one feels that
one is contributing more time, affection, money, effort, or anything else than
one is receiving in return, the relationship is in jeopardy. The feeling that one is
being treated fairly forms the basis of trust, which is essential for all successful
relationships, including those involving husband and wife, parent and child,
siblings, and even business partners.
Exchange theory has many similarities to systems theory in family therapy
that we mentioned earlier, in that it implies a particular remedial approach.
In relationships in which one or more participants feels unfairly treated the
solution is to reduce the perceived inequity (Webster and Rice 1996). A clear
complication in relationships in post-traditional society arises from changes in
gender role expectations for men and women. These changes have undermined
patriarchy and raised expectations for more egalitarian marriages (Yperen and
Buunk 1990). Other changes have resulted in greater safeguards for workers’
rights and have strengthened civil society. They have also blurred what were
clear lines of traditional authority.
20 Changing Intergenerational Family Dependence

The Changing Institution of the Family


The family, then, in all of its modern forms, like society generally, is held
together by the need for mutual support and protection, as well as by bonds of
affection. This haven in a heartless world is a place where one finds security,
as well as meaning and purpose. It ties one to a larger community, culture,
and society. In sociological terms it is an institution, which means that it
is a socially structured and normatively defined set of relationships among
certain individuals who have a legitimate claim to belong to the group. Hence,
we often refer to “the institution of the family.” In traditional cultures the
institution of the family was based on law and custom (Bengtson 2001; Burgess
1926). Today the family as an institution is changing rapidly. Rather than
being restricted to primarily instrumental functions as was typical in earlier
centuries, the family today is defined more by affective functions (Cherlin
2009). One’s parents do not chose one’s spouse, nor does one stay married
because of social sanctions. Today we fall in love with the person we marry and
we expect to find emotional satisfaction in marriage. When we no longer feel
affectively satisfied we leave.
Prior to the twentieth century families were on average larger than they are
today and they often included multiple generations, as well as aunts, uncles,
boarders, and others. It is commonly believed that during the eighteenth and
nineteenth centuries the industrial revolution called for a smaller and more
mobile and adaptable new family form, the nuclear family that consisted of
parents and children (Parsons 1949). After examining family forms in other
cultures and in earlier times, though, various researchers find that the nuclear
family preceded the industrial revolution so the theory that the nuclear family
form is a creation of industrialization may not be entirely correct (Greenfield
1961; Laslett 1965, 1972). Whether it represents an adaptation to the needs of
industrialization or not, though, for most of the twentieth century the nuclear
conjugal family was the norm, or at least the normatively ideal and legally
sanctioned living and reproductive arrangement. As we develop more fully in
later chapters, although the nuclear bisexual family consisting of parents and
their biological children may continue to comprise a substantial fraction of all
reproductive unions, today it is only one of multiple family forms (Stacey 1996).
Despite the multiplicity of family forms, though, the affective and emotionally
supportive functions of the family remain largely the same. Today we think of
the family in systems theory terms, as a collection of interacting personalities
(Broderick 1993; Burgess 1926; Lewis et al. 1976). As Vern L. Bengtson noted in
his acceptance of an award named in honor of Ernest Watson Burgess, a classical
Chicago sociologist, Burgess proposed that “…the central functions of families
had changed from being primarily structural units of social organization to being
relationships supporting individuals’ needs. Marriage was transformed from a
Changing Intergenerational Family Dependence 21

primarily economic union to one based on sentiment and companionship.”


Bengtson goes on to note that “…Burgess represented a bridge between
nineteenth-century conceptions of the family as a unit in social evolution to
twentieth-century ideas of families as supporting individuals’ needs. His work
also provided a bridge in sociological theory, from structural-functionalism to
symbolic interactionism and phenomenology” (Bengtson 2001, p. 3).
The transition of the family from a structural unit based on traditional norms
and functions to what it is today does not please everyone. The increase in the
number of family forms in which children are raised leads many observers
to the conclusion that the traditional nuclear family is in serious decline
with detrimental consequences for children (Popenoe 1996; Wallerstein and
Blakeslee 1989). Whether the decline of the traditional conjugal family is
detrimental for children or not remains an ongoing topic of investigation and
debate. There can be little doubt, though, that the poverty that many single-
parent families experience cannot be good for children (Angel and Angel 1993).
Despite serious disagreements concerning the consequences of the increase
in variation in family form, it seems unlikely that we will return to the older
defined institutions and patterns of the past. History flows in one direction and,
although some individuals chose to attempt to resurrect tradition, the context in
which families form and function has changed dramatically.

Could the Extended Family Return?


In his Burgess Award Lecture, Vern L. Bengtson raised an intriguing possibility
that the extended family, or at least some of its support functions, could re-
emerge (Bengtson 2001). In his lecture, and in numerous other publications,
Bengtson reviewed the major demographic and social changes that have led to
the large variety of family forms, high rates of divorce and remarriage, and smaller
families. As we mentioned earlier he also documented the rapid increase in life
expectancy that has resulted in an increase in the fraction of the population in
the oldest age categories. Bengtson noted that increasing longevity results in a
significant increase in overlap between older and younger generations, which
means that a larger fraction of grandchildren will grow to adulthood while their
grandparents are still alive. Largely as a result of this overlap Bengtson proposes
the intriguing possibility that given the potential need of older family members
who live to very old ages, children, grandchildren, and other family members
could be mobilized to provide support. He draws upon another theory that
holds that one’s extended family forms a “latent kin network” that, as he notes
“may be inactive and unacknowledged for long periods of time, until a family
crisis occurs. Such is the case when grandparents are called to help in the raising
of grandchildren; when family elders become incapacitated and adult children
and other kin provide caregiving support” (Bengtson 2001, p. 13).
22 Changing Intergenerational Family Dependence

Bengtson’s speculation concerning the potential revival or mobilization of


the extended family in terms of support for family members is indeed intriguing,
but most of the evidence that he calls upon concerning the extensive changes
that families have undergone since earlier times leads us to suspect that the
mobilization of the extended network is unlikely for most families and that other
possibilities are more likely. As we have noted, the support of elderly parents
has been de-familized and socialized. Smaller families, in which children have
moved far from their parents and in which adult children have responsibilities
for their own children, would have to make radical adaptations in order to
provide substantial financial or instrumental assistance to infirm needy parents.
Adult children would have to bring aging parents to live with them or they
would have to move in with the aging parent, and they would have to assume
substantial financial responsibility for their medical care and daily support.
Today, elderly parents who need extensive long-term care usually deplete
their own resources to qualify for Medicaid, the federal/state program for poor
children and low-income disabled and elderly adults. It would be difficult to
imagine such a dramatic institutional change that would return major financial
and instrumental responsibility to families. As we see in Europe, as well as
the United States, in developed welfare states people take income, healthcare,
housing, and other support programs for granted. Re-familizing these basic
functions seems unlikely barring major social disruptions.

Could we Instead Turn to Fictive Kin?


Of course, it is entirely possible that some latent extended kin networks will
assume greater responsibility for the elderly and other members of the network
who are in distress, especially if the network possesses adequate resources. That
is not always, or perhaps even often the case, though, nor is it likely that all
members of a network would agree to the sacrifice. Another possibility that
Bengtson mentions relates to “created” kinship systems (Cherlin 2013; Jelm
2010). Created kinship systems are those that consist of unrelated individuals
who, for whatever reason, but usually out of necessity or cultural patterns, form
networks of what can be considered “fictive kin” (Rae 1992; Stack 1974). “Fictive
kin” is a term employed by ethnographers to describe forms of intimate and
supportive relationships that are neither consanguineal (based on blood) nor
affinal (based on marriage) (Sussman 1976). These relationships can be based
on a common religious affiliation, ethnic and racial similarity, close friendship,
geographical proximity, or other traits (Allen, Blieszner and Roberto 2011; Stack
and Burton 1993). Fictive kin are often granted privileges and responsibilities
and occupy roles that are similar to those usually carried out by consanguineal
or affinal relatives. Fictive kin are playing an increasingly important role in the
care and support of aging individuals in all racial and ethnic groups (Allen,
Changing Intergenerational Family Dependence 23

Blieszner and Roberto 2011; Rae 1992). Given the fact that minority and
immigrant families have fewer resources on average than non-Hispanic white
families, though, fictive kin play a particularly important role for them (Jelm
2010; Taylor et al. 2013).
Fictive kinship arrangements are common in Mexican culture and are based
on trust and reciprocity. The institution of “compadrazgo” or “godparenthood”
is part of this tradition and can form strong ties of reciprocity and affection
among non-relatives. In the case of immigrants from Mexico fictive kin networks
provide new arrivals in the U.S. access to information about employment, social
resources, and more (Jelm 2010; Montes de Oca, Molina and Avalos 2008). The
norm of reciprocity requires that individuals and families share food, shelter,
and money with extended family members and fictive kin (Foner 1999). A study
of volunteering in Mexico revealed high rates of assistance by neighbors and
others who live close to someone in need (Burcher 2008). In a situation with
limited formal resources such informal assistance is indispensable and creates
the expectation that individuals provide assistance even to non-kin.
One important study followed migrants from Guanajuato, Mexico, a
municipality in Central Mexico with historically high outmigration, to ethnic
neighborhoods in Chicago and Dallas (Montes de Oca, Molina and Avalos
2008). This study clearly demonstrated the phenomenon of chain migration,
a metaphor which emphasizes interconnectedness and the pattern of later
migrants following the path of earlier migrants. Some migrants travel with kin,
but many do not. In the arrival communities they must form new supportive
associations based on common language, culture, and in this case community of
origin (Montes de Oca, Molina and Avalos 2008).
Non-kin, then, are important members of support networks for those who
migrate, but they are also important for those left behind. For the most part,
migrants tend to be young and in search of work opportunities and a better life
(Bean and Bell-Rose 1999). Although some parents accompany their migrant
children or join them later, many older parents stay in the sending communities
since their options for employment are limited or nonexistent in the United
States and they would be entirely dependent on their children who are
struggling to succeed (Wong and Palloni 2009). Here again, social and economic
changes mean that those left behind must form supportive associations with
those available.
The study of migrants from Guanajuato illustrates another reality that
tempers any expectation that latent extended kin networks will mobilize to
provide substantial support to aging or disabled older members. Over time the
migrants’ ties to family members left behind in Mexico weakened. Initially ties
with children and parents who remained in Guanajuato remained strong and
the migrants sent money home to help support those left behind. With time,
though, and especially after the death of parents, ties to the old communities
24 Changing Intergenerational Family Dependence

weaken and contact with the old country diminishes, a process that reflects the
experience of generations of European immigrants to the new world in previous
centuries. These studies suggest that the instrumental and affective support
functions of close kin can, at least partially, be carried out by more distant relatives
and non-kin. Once extended family members disperse, reuniting for the sake
of mutual support is difficult. The internet, land lines, and cell phones make
frequent communication possible and air travel may allow family members to
visit occasionally. In the majority of cases, uprooting a nuclear family for the
sake of reuniting with aging parents seems highly unlikely.
Although the institution of compadrazgo and fictive kin are influenced by
culture and tradition, Mexicans are not the only group that relies on supportive
non-kin ties. Because of low levels of economic resources, a shortage of employed
marriageable males, and high rates of single motherhood, fictive kinship plays an
important role in African-American communities (Chatters, Taylor and Jayakody
1994; Edin and Lein 1997; Stack 1974). For low-income single mothers, pooling
limited resources serves as an important survival strategy. Women who live
together or in close proximity to one another can help with childcare and other
tasks. The important role of religion in the African-American community means
that members of one’s church often assume the role of fictive kin and are referred
to affectionately as “brother” or “sister” and as members of one’s “church family”
(Chatters et al. 2002; Lincoln and Mamiya 1990; Taylor et al. 2013).

Non-Governmental and Faith-Based Organizations


Whether the changes in family form, size, and function that have occurred in
the last century indicate greater freedom of choice or the decline of Western
civilization, it seems clear that the demographic and social changes that have
radically altered the family mean that it cannot provide all of the instrumental
and emotional supports to disabled and elderly family members that they might
need. Not only has the family’s carrying capacity changed as it becomes smaller
and women find it necessary to work, but also the potential care demands have
increased dramatically. Lifespans have increased greatly over the last century and
individuals who not long ago would have died of AIDS and other diseases can be
kept alive for many years. In addition, the welfare state has altered expectations
in terms of social supports and standards of living. As we noted earlier, we all take
Social Security for granted and we expect the state to guarantee at least minimal
retirement security. The sight of old people begging for food and sleeping in the
street would be unacceptable. Although many families with children remain
homeless, our greater aggregate wealth makes that fact increasingly unacceptable
and many individuals and organizations are motivated to respond.
If the family cannot assume the entire burden of providing financial,
instrumental, and affective support to family members in need, it is clear
Changing Intergenerational Family Dependence 25

that the state also faces limitations. The modern welfare state reflects a sense
of solidarity and the belief that we are all responsible for one another. Clearly
the extent of that responsibility continues to be debated and the growing fiscal
crisis of the welfare state places limits on its further growth (Giddens 1999; Paul
Pierson 2001). The current fiscal crisis in Europe raises questions about the
sustainability of the post-World War II social contract.
If neither the family nor the state can provide all of the support and assistance that
individuals need, who can? An intriguing possibility for filling the void that might
be left by the family’s and the state’s inability to provide support is the potential role
of Civil Society organizations. Civil Society refers to organizations and actors that
are neither family, nor kin-based, nor part of the state. Churches, parent-teacher
associations, clubs, interest groups, and other associations together make up Civil
Society. Here we focus on the potential support role of non-governmental and
faith-based organizations (NGOs and FBOs) in addressing not only the needs of
the elderly but also those of other groups, including children, teenage and single
mothers, individuals with serious disabilities and illnesses such as AIDS, those
addicted to drugs, disaster victims, the victims of sexual and other assaults, and
many more. We discuss the growing importance of these organizations in dealing
with all aspects of human need in greater detail in Chapter 10. Here we only raise
the possibility that these organizations complement the family in their care and
support roles, even if they cannot replace it. Exhibit 1.3 gives a few examples of the
literally thousands of non-governmental organizations that operate in the world
today. These organizations clearly alter the institutional environment in which
families make decisions concerning the lives of their members.
Interest in the potential role of Civil Society organizations arises directly
from the fact that families are not available or cannot provide all of the care
and support that aging parents or other dependent family members need.
Although non-governmental organizations have been involved in various
social issues since the nineteenth century and even earlier, the period since the
Second World War has seen an explosion in their number. Today NGOs are
involved in health, education, human rights, women’s issues, the environment,
sustainable development, and much more (Boli and Thomas 1997, 1999;
Carroll 1992; Hudock 1999; Keck and Sikkink 1998; Robinson and Riddell
1995; Salamon 2003; Salamon and Anheir 1996). As we discuss in Chapter 10,
these organizations are involved in every aspect of support for individuals in
need and they clearly complement family efforts.
The importance of faith-based organizations and initiatives is revealed by the
fact that they receive financial support from the federal government, despite our
formal policy of the separation of church and state. The origin of this federal
policy is informative. It dates back to the Clinton Administration which adopted
policies that allowed faith-based organizations to apply for and receive government
funding to provide social services. Today that initiative is directed by the White
26 Changing Intergenerational Family Dependence

EXHIBIT 1.3
Non-Governmental and Faith-Based Organizations Provide
Vital Services and Supports
Non-governmental and faith-based organizations provide social services to
assist individuals and families in need. Many of these organizations operate at
the local level and receive government funding as described below.

Help a Mother Out


Help a Mother Out is a nationally-recognized organization committed to
increasing access to diapers for families in need. The organization, which is a
sponsored project of the 501(c)3 Community Initiatives, is a leading “diaper
bank” located in the San Francisco Bay Area, which has issued diapers and other
hygiene supplies to over 22 agencies in San Francisco, Alameda, Contra Costa,
Monterey, San Mateo, Santa Clara, and Solano counties with sister chapters in
Southern California and Arizona. The organization distributes diapers to eligible
families through a network of social service partners including voluntary home
visiting programs, facilitated parent support groups, family resource centers,
and public health departments (Help a Mother Out 2016).

Samost Jewish Family & Children’s Service


Samost Jewish Family & Children’s Service (JFCS) is a 501(c)3 non-profit
social service agency in Southern New Jersey. For over 65 years, JFCS has
been providing comprehensive, caring social services to residents of all ages,
faiths, and economic backgrounds, strengthening the individual, the family,
and the community. Licensed professionals assist clients with a wide range of
issues that include separation and divorce, bereavement, depression, anxiety,
and chronic mental illness. Support groups and community conferences offer
coping strategies that help prevent small problems from becoming larger.
Services are paid for by major insurances, a sliding fee scale based on income,
and scholarships for support groups (Samost Jewish Family and Children’s
Services of Southern New Jersey).

Family Eldercare
Guided by the vision that seniors and adults with disabilities should live in a
supportive community with dignity and as much independence as possible,
Family Eldercare, a non-profit 501(c)3 organization established in 1982, provides
essential services to seniors, adults with disabilities, and caregivers. Family
Eldercare carries out its mission through a variety of programs (Guardianship,
Changing Intergenerational Family Dependence 27

Money Management, Consultation and Referral Services, Summer Fan Drive,


In-Home Care and Respite Services, Elder Shelter, and Low-Income Senior
Housing) that are designed to prevent abuse, neglect, self-neglect and financial
exploitation of elders and adults with disabilities, prolong independent living
in the least restrictive environment, and promote the health, well-being, and
dignity of elders, adults with disabilities, and their caregivers. Family Eldercare
provides a continuum of services on a sliding fee scale to more than 6,000 elders,
people with disabilities and their caregivers annually in Travis, Williamson, and
Hays counties in Texas (Family Eldercare n.d.).

Second Harvest Heartland


Second Harvest Heartland is one of the nation’s largest, most efficient, and
most innovative food banks. In 2015, the 501(c)3 organization delivered more
than 77 million meals to nearly 1,000 food shelves, pantries and other partner
programs serving 59 counties in Minnesota and western Wisconsin. Second
Harvest Heartland was created on October 1, 2001, when Second Harvest
Greater Minneapolis and Second Harvest St. Paul joined forces to bring
together more than 44 years of combined history and experience to the fight
against hunger. They work with a wide network of partners and volunteers to
pick up food donations and deliver them to local food shelves, soup kitchens,
homeless shelters, senior community centers, and children’s feeding programs
(Second Harvest Heartland 2016).

House Office of Faith-Based and Neighborhood Partnerships established


during the Bush Administration (White House 2015). The fact that the federal
government turns to FBOs to deliver social services reflects the recent policy of
devolution of functions to the local level, but it also underscores the strength and
importance of the religious sector in American social life. Clearly, sponsorship of
religious organizations raises serious concerns for many. We discuss the ethical
issues involved in the state sponsorship of sectarian organizations in Chapter 10.
Here, though, we merely point out that like the welfare state itself, religion and
congregations are an inevitable part of our social order and an investigation of
their potential for addressing human needs seems reasonable.
We end this chapter with an example of the sorts of ethical dilemmas that
appear at various points in each chapter. They address timely moral and ethical,
as well as practical issues related to aspects of family life and the decisions that
family members must make concerning the care of other family members
in need. Ethical Dilemmas 1.1 presents examples related to the possibility of
genetic engineering.
28 Changing Intergenerational Family Dependence

ETHICAL DILEMMAS 1.1


Living Longer and Healthier Lives
Scientists at a private research institute have discovered a technique for
modifying the expression of a relatively small number of genes to increase the
lifespans of various primate species by up to 100 percent. After successful tests
on chimpanzees, in which their healthy life expectancy was nearly doubled
and few ill effects were observed, the scientists are anxious to proceed to
experiments on humans. Scientific and public opinion are largely opposed
to the proposed experiments, but the scientists could carry them out at one
of their foreign affiliates. Identify the major moral dilemmas that this new
possibility raises and argue for and against allowing experimentation with
humans. Consider the following situations:

1. The gene manipulation must be carried out on germ cells, that is, on the
egg and sperm prior to conception. In this case the parents must make a
choice that affects an unborn child who will live with the consequences of
the decision. Although the new technique is highly reliable, there is always
the possibility of unintended mutations that could result in serious new
genetic diseases. Many critics feel that the benefits of increased longevity
do not outweigh the risks involved in altering the human genome.
2. In another experiment the scientists are able to reprogram adult heart
muscle cells using an RNA technique to return them to a pluripotent state,
that is, they turn them back into stem cells that can replace damaged heart
tissue, greatly increasing a patient’s quality of life. In this case the patient
makes the decision concerning therapy for him or herself. The procedure,
though, costs a million dollars or more. Given its experimental nature,
most private insurance will not cover the therapy so only the wealthy could
benefit. Many critics object to scarce medical resources being used to
benefit only a few privileged individuals.
3. Scientists discover that members of an indigenous tribe in a Central American
country carry a set of genes that greatly slow, and in some cases reverse,
the oxidative aging effects of free radicals in the body. They also discover
that these genes can be transferred to other people, but the procedure
can cause serious illness in the donor. When news of the genes, and the
procedure to transfer them, are broadcast many upper-middle-class and
wealthy individuals from developed countries go to the Central American
nation and pay members of the indigenous population large sums and
cover their medical expenses if they agree to donate their longevity genes.
International opinion is largely negative and great pressure is placed upon
the government of the Central American nation to outlaw gene donation.
Changing Intergenerational Family Dependence 29

The Following Chapters


In the following chapters we deal with the forces that are changing family
structures and functions, as well as the context in which families make decisions
concerning the welfare of their members. As we have noted, all families must
make important decisions concerning children, adults, and aging parents. We
focus heavily on aging parents because nearly everyone will have to make
decisions concerning the living arrangements and medical care of parents
who are living ever longer. As we noted earlier, today families experience an
increasingly long period of generational overlap. This means that adult children
and grandchildren will be called upon to make decisions concerning aging
parents and grandparents. Some families, of course, are faced with tragedy, as
in the case of the family of Karen Quinlan and Terri Schiavo that we discuss in
Chapter 8, that involve the loss of young family members. Luckily these events
are rarer than those that affect aging parents, but we deal with the ethical issues
raised by these tragic situations as well.
Several main themes inform the discussion. In addition to changes in family
structure and function our approach is motivated by the historical shift in
responsibility for the welfare of individuals from an almost exclusive reliance on
the family to a far greater reliance on the state. We have referred to this process as
the de-familization and socialization of individual welfare. This de-familization
is part of what we have referred to as post-traditional society in which the norms
and accepted practices of previous eras no longer guide individual or family
life. Today, as we have noted, one must choose how to live one’s life and make
crucial decisions concerning marriage, child rearing, work, retirement, medical
care, and more. In the absence of clear norms and conventions these decisions
must be based on ethical criteria that relate to beneficence and concern for
others, personal autonomy and freedom, and responsibility for advancing our
collective welfare.
Before proceeding we provide a brief description of the topics covered in
each of the following ten chapters. In Chapter 2 we delve deeper into changing
family forms and discuss the implications of the departure from the traditional
“male-breadwinner” model of the family. We discuss divorce, remarriage,
blended families, cohabitation, and same-sex marriages. We discuss how these
new family forms affect the family as a decision-making unit. In Chapter 3 we
deal with changing family roles in the support of elderly parents. In this chapter
we discuss de-familization and the socialization of the support of the elderly.
We discuss the potential consequences of changes in Social Security for social
solidarity and the tie between generations, both within families and among
members of different cohorts more generally.
In Chapter 4 we summarize the new challenges that families face and the
technological and social changes that affect their options in responding to crises.
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