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ISBN: 9781633692725
eISBN: 9781633692732
What You’ll Learn
SECTION ONE
SECTION TWO
SECTION THREE
SECTION FOUR
viii
Table of Contents
SECTION FIVE
ix
Table of Contents
SECTION SIX
Understand Empathy
19. What Is Empathy? 159
Three types critical for leaders.
BY DANIEL GOLEMAN
SECTION SEVEN
x
Table of Contents
SECTION EIGHT
Index 239
xi
SECTION ONE
What Is
Emotional
Intelligence?
CHAPTER 1
Leading by Feel
Like it or not, leaders need to manage the mood of their
organizations. The most gifted leaders accomplish that
by using a mysterious blend of psychological abilities
known as emotional intelligence. They’re self-aware
and empathetic. They can read and regulate their own
emotions while intuitively grasping how others feel and
gauging their organization’s emotional state.
But where does emotional intelligence come from?
And how do leaders learn to use it? The manage-
ment literature (and even common sense) suggests
that both nature and nurture feed emotional intelli-
gence. Part genetic predisposition, part life experience,
and part old-fashioned training, emotional intelligence
emerges in varying degrees from one leader to the next,
3
What Is Emotional Intelligence?
Be Realistic
John D. Mayer is a professor of psychology at the Uni-
versity of New Hampshire. He and Yale psychology pro-
fessor Peter Salovey are credited with first defining the
concept of emotional intelligence in the early 1990s.
This is a time of growing realism about emotional
intelligence—especially concerning what it is and what
it isn’t. The books and articles that have helped popu-
larize the concept have defined it as a loose collection
of personality traits, such as self-awareness, optimism,
and tolerance. These popular definitions have been ac-
companied by exaggerated claims about the importance
4
Leading by Feel
5
What Is Emotional Intelligence?
6
Leading by Feel
But at that point, you won’t have built up the social capi-
tal needed to pull the best out of people under tremen-
dous pressure. The art of sustained leadership is getting
others to produce superior work, and high IQ alone is
insufficient to that task.
The good news is that emotional intelligence can be
learned and improved at any age. In fact, data shows
that, on average, people’s emotional intelligence tends
to increase as they age. But the specific leadership com-
petencies that are based on emotional intelligence don’t
necessarily come through life experience. For example,
one of the most common complaints I hear about lead-
ers, particularly newly promoted ones, is that they lack
empathy. The problem is that they were promoted be-
cause they were outstanding individual performers—and
being a solo achiever doesn’t teach you the skills neces-
sary to understand other people’s concerns.
Leaders who are motivated to improve their emo-
tional intelligence can do so if they’re given the right
information, guidance, and support. The information
they need is a candid assessment of their strengths and
limitations from people who know them well and whose
opinions they trust. The guidance they need is a specific
developmental plan that uses naturally occurring work-
place encounters as the laboratory for learning. The sup-
port they need is someone to talk to as they practice how
to handle different situations, what to do when they’ve
blown it, and how to learn from those setbacks. If lead-
ers cultivate these resources and practice continually,
they can develop specific emotional intelligence skills—
skills that will last for years.
7
What Is Emotional Intelligence?
EI
Component Definition Hallmarks Example
Self- Knowing • Self-confidence A manager knows
awareness one’s tight deadlines bring
• Realistic self-
emotions, out the worst in him.
assessment
strengths, So he plans his time
weaknesses, • Self- to get work done well
drives, deprecating in advance.
values, and sense of
goals—and humor
their impacts
• Thirst for
on others
constructive
criticism
8
Leading by Feel
EI
Component Definition Hallmarks Example
Motivation Being driven • A passion for A portfolio manager
to achieve for the work itself at an investment
the sake of and for new company sees his
achievement challenges fund tumble for three
consecutive quarters.
• Unflagging
Major clients defect.
energy to
Instead of blaming ex-
improve
ternal circumstances,
• Optimism in she decides to learn
the face of from the experi-
failure ence—and engineers
a turnaround.
9
What Is Emotional Intelligence?
Get Motivated
Richard Boyatzis is a professor and the chair of the de-
partment of organizational behavior at Case Western Re-
serve University’s Weatherhead School of Management
in Cleveland.
People can develop their emotional intelligence if they
really want to. But many managers jump to the conclu-
sion that their complement of emotional intelligence
is predetermined. They think, “I could never be good
at this, so why bother?” The central issue isn’t a lack of
ability to change; it’s the lack of motivation to change.
Leadership development is not all that different from
other areas in which people are trying to change their
behaviors. Just look at the treatments for alcoholism,
drug addiction, and weight loss: They all require the de-
sire to change. More subtly, they all require a positive,
rather than a negative, motivation. You have to want to
change. If you think you’ll lose your job because you’re
not adequately tuned in to your employees, you might
become determinedly empathetic or compassionate for
a time. But change driven by fear or avoidance probably
isn’t going to last. Change driven by hopes and aspira-
tions, change that’s pursued because it’s desired, will be
more enduring.
There’s no such thing as having too much emotional
intelligence. But there is a danger in being preoccupied
with, or overusing, one aspect of it. For example, if you
overemphasize the emotional intelligence competencies
of initiative or achievement, you’ll always be changing
things at your company. Nobody would know what you
10
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