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MOTHERING,
Russian, Palestinian and Jewish
Middle-Class Mothers in Israeli Society
EDUCATION
Deborah Golden, Lauren Erdreich, Sveta Roberman
AND CULTURE
Mothering, Education and Culture
Deborah Golden · Lauren Erdreich
Sveta Roberman
Mothering, Education
and Culture
Russian, Palestinian and Jewish Middle-Class
Mothers in Israeli Society
Deborah Golden Sveta Roberman
Faculty of Education Gordon Academic College
University of Haifa of Education
Haifa, Israel Haifa, Israel
First and foremost, we wish to thank the women who generously shared
their lives with us and who are the bedrock of this study.
We are grateful to our colleagues and students who took time to offer
insightful readings, useful suggestions and encouragement along the
way: Eyal Ben-Ari, Edna Lomsky-Feder, Afnan Masarwa, Hadas Netzer-
Dagan, Galia Plotkin Amrami, Amit Rottman-Tzur and Chen Yaari.
Thanks to Michal Mor-Milerman for her wide range of indispensable
research skills and to Sophie Richmond for her experienced editorial eye
and sound advice.
We are also pleased to have had the opportunity to present parts of
the study at various academic forums where we received timely ques-
tions and comments, among these: 2nd Annual Conference of the Israel
Comparative Education Society (Bar-Ilan University, 2016), Parenting
and Personhood Conference (University of Canterbury, 2016) and the
Education and Inequality Summer Workshop convened by Annette
Lareau (Department of Sociology, University of Pennsylvania, 2016).
The University of Haifa provided initial seed money that enabled us
to set this project in motion, as well as contributing towards the cost of
editing and indexing; the Department of Leadership and Policy at the
Faculty of Education, University of Haifa made available some resources
for research assistance.
Finally, we thank each other for such a good mix of lively, thoughtful
and convivial collaborative work.
vii
Contents
1 Introduction 1
3 En Route 27
5 Homing In 105
Notes 167
Bibliography 177
Index 195
ix
CHAPTER 1
Introduction
This study began on a sunny summer day over coffee and conversation
between two anthropologists—Deborah and Lauren—a conversation
that turned into the first of many, and was subsequently joined by a third
anthropologist, Sveta. At the time of that first conversation, Lauren had
moved to the town in Israel where Deborah was living with her son,
then 13 years old. As Lauren’s daughter toddled around the table, we
discussed our past work and interests. Sometime later, Deborah called
Lauren with an idea. When we met this time, Deborah brought with her
a stack of fliers that had been shoved into her postbox—advertisements
for after-school activities, private tutoring, and leisure activities for moth-
ers and children. ‘Let’s do something about this—about how mums are
inundated with educational goods and services that tell them how they
should be taking care of their kids,’ she suggested. This hit home with
Lauren, who had just given birth to her second daughter and had spent
a lot of time checking out possibilities for child care for both daugh-
ters. The town in which we lived offered many options—for a price. We
noticed almost immediately how our particular locale shaped our expe-
rience as mothers—the abundance of educational goods and services
required that we make choices among them, choices that were decisions
about what sort of mothers we are or would like to be.
From the perspective of this study, mothering must be understood in
relation to perceptions and practices of what constitutes a proper educa-
tion for children—since the two are inextricably interwoven. In today’s
world, education plays an increasingly important role in equipping
children with knowledge and practical and social skills, as well as defining
social location and potential social mobility. With the onset of industrial
society and the burgeoning of nation-states, education of children was
removed from the home and replaced by a formal system of compulsory
schooling. Schooling was deemed necessary to adequately prepare chil-
dren with basic skills, knowledge, values and sentiments requisite for a
future citizen in the modern nation-state (Gellner 1983) and was put
in the hands of professional educators. In this form of social organiza-
tion, the family fulfilled a supporting role; in this supporting role women
were viewed as the most appropriate caretakers of home and as primarily
responsible for the children’s upbringing and education.
Education—within school and without—is a major arena in which
parents—primarily through the gendered work of mothers—reproduce
their own class and cultural sensibilities. Although family life has under-
gone changes, and men are increasingly involved in the upbringing of
their children, recent decades have seen the ‘transformation of women’s
domestic labour to include extensive educational work in the home’
(Reay 2005a, 113); mothers take prime responsibility for the ‘comple-
mentary education work’ around schooling (Griffith and Smith 2005)
and for decision-making relating to educational matters (Ball 2003).
Perceptions and practices of mothering are culturally embedded and pro-
duced in response to changing requirements and expectations of what
mothers can and should be doing in relation to their children’s educa-
tion and the demands produced by educational institutions. In seeking
to ensure a proper education for their children, mothers are obliged
not only to make decisions regarding their children’s schooling but also
to negotiate a market of ‘extra-curricular’ ideas, goods and services, all
of which hold out the promise of ensuring a proper education for the
children. This negotiation requires knowledge, financial resources and
time—putting the middle class at a distinct advantage and, in turn,
positing middle-class mothering as something to be emulated and as a
widely disseminated cultural model of what is considered to be proper
mothering.
In a landmark study entitled The Cultural Contradictions of
Motherhood, published in 1996, Sharon Hays coined the term ‘intensive
mothering’ to describe middle-class motherhood—a ‘gendered model
that advises mothers to expend a tremendous amount of time, energy,
and money in raising their children’ (Hays 1996, x). With its roots in
western middle-class sensibilities and values, this model has evolved
1 INTRODUCTION 3
Conceptual Underpinnings
Women’s domestic activity, including child care, has long been con-
ceptualized by feminist theorists as a form of gendered work, albeit a
special form of such work. It is special because it entails the fostering
of profound, complex and affectionate bonds of love (Arendell 2000;
Ramaekers and Suissa 2011); it is based in virtues and values that make
it other-directed—oriented towards the production of another’s emo-
tions, feelings and sense of self in society; it requires attentiveness, recep-
tivity and responsiveness, all the while arousing intense emotion on the
part of the mother (Bubeck 2001). Thus, there is a special texture to
the relationship between mothers and children which lends this work its
intensity and sense of import. Yet the particular forms that this love and
care take are shaped in broad sociocultural contexts (Barlow and Chapin
2010). It is to these broader contexts, and the ways they inform mother-
ing among middle-class mothers, that we turn.
School Choice
One basic practice of reproducing educational advantage is school
choice. In his book Anxious Parents: A History of Modern Childrearing
in America, Stearns (2003) claims that since the late nineteenth century
school and schooling emerged as a major arena of anxiety for parents.
New ideas about the vulnerable nature of infants and children, along-
side parents’ increasing awareness that their children’s futures were
dependent on a proper education, led to an expanding realm of parental
anxiety in relation to schooling—spanning a range of issues from con-
cern about the suitability of the social milieu to the learning process
itself. From the slightly different angle of the literature on the risk soci-
ety, sociologists have further identified the contemporary phenomenon
of ‘parent anxiety’ as a particular manifestation of the notion of risk.
Middle-class parents find themselves confronted with increasing respon-
sibility for their children’s education, a burgeoning market of educa-
tional services and goods, at the same time as they are dogged by ‘fear
of falling’ (Ehrenreich 1989), namely, the potential loss of educational
advantage. Parents approach the educational market from a perspec-
tive of identifying and managing perceived potential risks, including the
perceived inadequate quality of schooling, misrecognition of children’s
needs and abilities, and physical and/or social environments deemed
8 D. Golden et al.
Enrichment Activities
The complementary educational work that mothers do for their children
on a daily basis also includes the organization and supervision of their
children’s extra-curricular activities. On this account, too, the literature is
replete with distinctions between the work of middle-class and working-
class mothers. In her influential book Unequal Childhoods: Class, Race
and Family Life (2003), Lareau, addressing the ways in which modes
of childrearing reflect and contribute to the reproduction of class, pro-
posed the terms ‘concerted cultivation’ and ‘accomplishment of natural
growth’. According to this distinction, middle-class parents engage in
concerted cultivation as they ‘deliberately try to stimulate their children’s
development and foster their cognitive and social skills’ (2003, 5), pri-
marily through organized activities, leading to skills in interacting with
adults on an equal basis and a strong sense of entitlement. By contrast,
while working-class parents provide comfort, food, shelter and support
for their children, they do not engage in the deliberate cultivation of
children and their leisure activities: ‘In the accomplishment of natural
growth, children experience long stretches of leisure time, child-initiated
play, clear boundaries between adults and children, and daily interactions
with kin’ (2003, 3). The array of choices with which middle-class chil-
dren are presented is aimed at allowing them to tap into a wide range
of inherent capabilities and talents, to develop the wide-ranging tastes of
‘cultural omnivores’ (Peterson and Kern 1996) and ‘life skills’ from an
early age (Vincent and Ball 2007), and to prepare children for competi-
tion and stringent selection procedures at a later stage in their educa-
tional career (Friedman 2013).
Inculcating Habitus
The furnishing of middle-class children with what are deemed to be vital
qualities, modes of being and behaviour is further nurtured at home.
Bourdieu termed this ‘habitus’—namely, the processes whereby cultural
capital, primarily cultivated in family settings, is embodied in such a way
as to become an enduring part of mind and body (Bourdieu 1997). In
middle-class families, these include the ‘feting’ of individualism through
material goods and of individual achievement through praise (Ochs
and Kremer-Sadlik 2015); ‘fun morality’ attached to the way in which
10 D. Golden et al.
presupposed, taken for granted models of the world that are widely shared
(although not necessarily to the exclusion of other, alternative models) by
the members of a society … that frame experience, supplying interpreta-
tions of that experience and inferences about it, and goals for action.
(Quinn and Holland 1987, 4–6)5
12 D. Golden et al.
“Do you see that the elements are not idle, and keep no
Sabbaths? Remain as you were born. For if there was no
need of circumcision before Abraham, or of the observance of
Sabbaths, of feasts and sacrifices, before Moses; no more
need is there of them now, after that, according to the will of
God, Jesus Christ the Son of God has been born without sin,
of a virgin sprung from the stock of Abraham.”[636]
Here are three reasons: 1. “That the elements are not idle, and
keep no Sabbaths.” Though this reason is simply worthless as an
argument against the seventh day, it is a decisive confirmation of the
fact already proven, that Justin did not make Sunday a day of
abstinence from labor. 2. His second reason here given is that there
was no observance of Sabbaths before Moses, and yet we do know
that God at the beginning did appoint the Sabbath to a holy use, a
fact to which as we shall see quite a number of the fathers testify,
and we also know that in that age were men who kept all the
precepts of God. 3. There is no need of Sabbatic observance since
Christ. Though this is mere assertion, it is by no means easy for
those to meet it fairly who represent Justin as maintaining the
Christian Sabbath.
Another argument by Justin against the obligation of the Sabbath
is that God “directs the government of the universe on this day
equally as on all others!”[637] as though this were inconsistent with
the present sacredness of the Sabbath, when it is also true that God
thus governed the world in the period when Justin acknowledges the
Sabbath to have been obligatory. Though this reason is trivial as an
argument against the Sabbath, it does show that Justin could have
attached no Sabbatic character to Sunday. But he has yet one more
argument against the Sabbath. The ancient law has been done away
by the new and final law, and the old covenant has been superseded
by the new.[638] But he forgets that the design of the new covenant
was not to do away with the law of God, but to put that law into the
heart of every Christian. And many of the fathers, as we shall see,
expressly repudiate this doctrine of the abrogation of the Decalogue.
Such were Justin’s reasons for rejecting the ancient Sabbath. But
though he was a decided asserter of the abrogation of the law, and
of the Sabbatic institution itself, and kept Sunday only as a festival,
modern first-day writers cite him as a witness in support of the
doctrine that the first day of the week should be observed as the
Christian Sabbath on the authority of the fourth commandment.
Now let us learn what stood in the way of Irenæus’ observance of
the Sabbath. It was not that the commandments were abolished, for
we shall presently learn that he taught their perpetuity. Nor was it
that he believed in the change of the Sabbath, for he gives no hint of
such an idea. The Sunday festival in his estimation appears to have
been simply of “equal significance” with the Pentecost.[639] Nor was
it that Christ broke the Sabbath, for Irenæus says that he did not.[640]
But because the Sabbath is called a sign he regarded it as
significant of the future kingdom, and appears to have considered it
no longer obligatory, though he does not expressly say this. Thus he
sets forth the meaning of the Sabbath as held by him:—
But Irenæus did not notice that the Sabbath as a sign does not
point forward to the restitution, but backward to the creation, that it
may signify that the true God is the Creator.[644] Nor did he observe
the fact that when the kingdom of God shall be established under the
whole heaven all flesh shall hallow the Sabbath.[645]
But he says that those who lived before Moses were justified
“without observance of Sabbaths,” and offers as proof that the
covenant at Horeb was not made with the fathers. Of course if this
proves that the patriarchs were free from obligation toward the fourth
commandment, it is equally good as proof that they might violate any
other. These things indicate that Irenæus was opposed to Sabbatic
observance, though he did not in express language assert its
abrogation, and did in most decisive terms assert the continued
obligation of the ten commandments.
Tertullian offers numerous reasons for not observing the Sabbath,
but there is scarcely one of these that he does not in some other
place expressly contradict. Thus he asserts that the patriarchs
before Moses did not observe the Sabbath.[646] But he offers no
proof, and he elsewhere dates the origin of the Sabbath at the
creation,[647] as we shall show hereafter. In several places he
teaches the abrogation of the law, and seems to set aside moral law
as well as ceremonial. But elsewhere, as we shall show, he bears
express testimony that the ten commandments are still binding as
the rule of the Christian’s life.[648] He quotes the words of Isaiah in
which God is represented as hating the feasts, new-moons, and
sabbaths observed by the Jews,[649] as proof that the seventh-day
Sabbath was a temporary institution which Christ abrogated. But in
another place he says: “Christ did not at all rescind the Sabbath: he
kept the law thereof.”[650] And he also explains this very text by
stating that God’s aversion toward the Sabbaths observed by the
Jews was “because they were celebrated without the fear of God by
a people full of iniquities,” and adds that the prophet, in a later
passage speaking of Sabbaths celebrated according to God’s
commandment, “declares them to be true, delightful, and
inviolable.”[651] Another statement is that Joshua violated the
Sabbath in the siege of Jericho.[652] Yet he elsewhere explains this
very case, showing that the commandment forbids our own work, not
God’s. Those who acted at Jericho did “not do their own work, but
God’s, which they executed, and that, too, from his express
commandment.”[653] He also both asserts and denies that Christ
violated the Sabbath.[654] Tertullian was a double-minded man. He
wrote much against the law and the Sabbath, but he also
contradicted and exposed his own errors.
Origen attempts to prove that the ancient Sabbath is to be
understood mystically or spiritually, and not literally. Here is his
argument:—
Great men are not always wise. There is no such precept in the
Bible. Origen referred to that which forbade the people to go out for
manna on the Sabbath, but which did not conflict with another that
commanded holy convocations or assemblies for worship on the
Sabbath.[656]
Victorinus is the latest of the fathers before Constantine who offers
reasons against the observance of the Sabbath. His first reason is
that Christ said by Isaiah that his soul hated the Sabbath; which
Sabbath he in his body abolished; and these assertions we have
seen answered by Tertullian.[657] His second reason is that “Jesus
[Joshua] the son of Nave [Nun], the successor of Moses, himself
broke the Sabbath day,”[658] which is false. His third reason is that
“Matthias [a Maccabean] also, prince of Judah, broke the
Sabbath,”[659] which is doubtless false, but is of no consequence as
authority. His fourth argument is original, and may fitly close the list
of reasons assigned in the early fathers for not observing the
Sabbath. It is given in full without an answer:—
The first reasons for neglecting the Sabbath are now mostly obsolete—A
portion of the early fathers taught the perpetuity of the decalogue, and
made it the standard of moral character—What they say concerning
the origin of the Sabbath at Creation—Their testimony concerning the
perpetuity of the ancient Sabbath, and concerning its observance—
Enumeration of the things which caused the suppression of the
Sabbath and the elevation of Sunday.
The reasons offered by the early fathers for neglecting the
observance of the Sabbath show conclusively that they had no
special light on the subject by reason of living in the first centuries,
which we in this later age do not possess. The fact is, so many of the
reasons offered by them are manifestly false and absurd that those
who in these days discard the Sabbath, do also discard the most of
the reasons offered by these fathers for this same course. We have
also learned from such of the early fathers as mention first-day
observance, the exact nature of the Sunday festival, and all the
reasons which in the first centuries were offered in its support. Very
few indeed of these reasons are now offered by modern first-day
writers.
But some of the fathers bear emphatic testimony to the perpetuity
of the ten commandments, and make their observance the condition
of eternal life. Some of them also distinctly assert the origin of the
Sabbath at creation. Several of them moreover either bear witness to
the existence of Sabbath-keepers, or bear decisive testimony to the
perpetuity and obligation of the Sabbath, or define the nature of
proper Sabbatic observance, or connect the observance of the
Sabbath and first day together. Let us now hear the testimony of
those who assert the authority of the ten commandments. Irenæus
asserts their perpetuity, and makes them a test of Christian
character. Thus he says:—
“For God at the first, indeed, warning them [the Jews] by
means of natural precepts, which from the beginning he had
implanted in mankind, that is, by means of the Decalogue
(which, if any one does not observe, he has no salvation), did
then demand nothing more of them.”[661]
“Preparing man for this life, the Lord himself did speak in
his own person to all alike the words of the Decalogue: and
therefore, in like manner, do they remain permanently with us,
receiving, by means of his advent in the flesh, extension and
increase, but not abrogation.”[663]
It stands “in the very forefront of the most holy law, among
the primary counts of the celestial edict.”[669]
“The law was given to the children of Israel for this purpose,
that they might profit by it, and return to those virtuous
manners which, although they had received them from their
fathers, they had corrupted in Egypt by reason of their
intercourse with a barbarous people. Finally, also, those ten
commandments on the tables teach nothing new, but remind
them of what had been obliterated—that righteousness in
them, which had been put to sleep, might revive again as it
were by the afflatus of the law, after the manner of a fire
[nearly extinguished].”[671]
“He gave a plain law to assist the law of nature, such a one
as is pure, saving, and holy, in which his own name was
inscribed, perfect, which is never to fail, being complete in ten
commands, unspotted, converting souls.”[673]
Such are the testimonies of the early fathers to the primeval origin
of the Sabbath, and to the sacredness and perpetual obligation of
the ten commandments. We now call attention to what they say
relative to the perpetuity of the Sabbath, and to its observance in the
centuries during which they lived. Tertullian defines Christ’s relation
to the Sabbath:—
“Christ did not at all rescind the Sabbath: he kept the law
thereof, and both in the former case did a work which was
beneficial to the life of his disciples (for he indulged them with
the relief of food when they were hungry), and in the present
instance cured the withered hand; in each case intimating by
facts, ‘I came not to destroy the law, but to fulfill it.’”[684]
Nor can it be said that while Tertullian denied that Christ abolished
the Sabbath he did believe that he transferred its sacredness from
the seventh day of the week to the first, for he continues thus:—
“And the fourth word is that which intimates that the world
was created by God, and that he gave us the seventh day as
a rest, on account of the trouble that there is in life. For God is
incapable of weariness, and suffering, and want. But we who
bear flesh need rest. The seventh day, therefore, is
proclaimed a rest—abstraction from ills—preparing for the
primal day, our true rest.”[689]
This language has been adduced to show that Clement called the
eighth day, or Sunday, the Sabbath. But first-day writers in general
have not dared to commit themselves to such an interpretation, and
some of them have expressly discarded it. Let us notice this
statement with especial care. He speaks of the ordinals seventh and
eighth in the abstract, but probably with reference to the days of the
week. Observe then,
1. That he does not intimate that the eighth day has become the
Sabbath in place of the seventh which was once such, but he says
that the eighth day may possibly turn out to be properly the seventh.
2. That in Clement’s time, a. d. 194, there was not any confusion
in the minds of men as to which day was the ancient Sabbath, and
which one was the first day of the week, or eighth day, as it was
often called, nor does he intimate that there was.
3. But Clement, from some cause, says that possibly the eighth
day should be counted the seventh, and the seventh day the sixth.
Now, if this should be done, it would change the numbering of the
days, not only as far back as the resurrection of Christ, but all the
way back to the creation.
4. If, therefore, Clement, in this place, designed to teach that
Sunday is the Sabbath, he must also have held that it always had
been such.
5. But observe that, while he changes the numbering of the days
of the week, he does not change the Sabbath from one day to
another. He says the eighth may possibly be the seventh, and the
seventh, properly the sixth, and the latter, or this one [Greek, ἡ μὲν
κυρίως εἶυαι σάββατου,], properly the Sabbath, and the seventh a
day of work.
6. By the latter must be understood the day last mentioned, which
he says should be called, not the seventh, but the sixth; and by the
seventh must certainly be intended that day which he says is not the
eighth, but the seventh, that is to say, Sunday.
There remains but one difficulty to be solved, and that is why he
should suggest the changing of the numbering of the days of the
week by striking one from the count of each day, thus making the
Sabbath the sixth day in the count instead of the seventh; and
making Sunday the seventh day in the count instead of the eighth.
The answer seems to have eluded the observation of the first-day
and anti-Sabbatarian writers who have sought to grasp it. But there
is a fact which solves the difficulty. Clement’s commentary on the
fourth commandment, from which these quotations are taken, is
principally made up of curious observations on “the perfect number
six,” “the number seven motherless and childless,” and the number
eight, which is “a cube,” and the like matters, and is taken with some
change of arrangement almost word for word from Philo Judæus, a
teacher who flourished at Alexandria about one century before
Clement. Whoever will take pains to compare these two writers will
find in Philo nearly all the ideas and illustrations which Clement has
used, and the very language also in which he has expressed them.
[691] Philo was a mystical teacher to whom Clement looked up as to
a master. A statement which we find in Philo, in immediate
connection with several curious ideas, which Clement quotes from
him, gives, beyond all doubt, the key to Clement’s suggestion that
possibly the eighth day should be called the seventh, and the
seventh day called the sixth. Philo said that, according to God’s
purpose, the first day of time was not to be numbered with the other
days of the creation week. Thus he says:—