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Full download John & Mattie: Texas Kings MC, Book 8 Cee Bowerman [Bowerman file pdf all chapter on 2024
Full download John & Mattie: Texas Kings MC, Book 8 Cee Bowerman [Bowerman file pdf all chapter on 2024
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John & Mattie
Texas Kings MC
Cee Bowerman
CLBooks, LLC
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical
means including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from
the author, Cee Bowerman.
This book is a work of fiction and the product of the imagination of the author. Names,
characters, places, and events are products of the author’s imagination and/or are used
fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, any events or locations are
entirely coincidental.
A NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR
Thank you for joining me on the next story of the Texas Kings MC, located in the fictional
town of Rojo, Tx. In this book, I also mention a town called Grace, TX. It’s also a fictional
town, at least in name, but it’s prejudices and small mindedness is more common in this world
than I’l like to admit.
In this story, a woman falls in love with two men. So, if you’re not into the possibility of
happiness through ‘alternative’ lifestyles, this book is probably not for you. However, if you like
for people to get their happy ending, in whatever way it comes, then read on!
I’d like to thank my readers who have supported me and cheered me on through this, ready
to read about John and Mattie. My Texas Queens MC, Rojo TX group keeps me on my toes
with their knowledge of my characters and eagerness to read more. Thank you for that, I
appreciate it more than you know.
You can always find me on Facebook, and now I’m also on Twitter and Instagram too.
And you heard it here first - but I have a website now too! You’ll be able to see new
information, check up on books, get insight into upcoming characters, and someday soon get
some merchandise with your favorite MC on it.
www.ceebowermanbooks.com
Once again, I’d like to shout out my thanks to the people who help me edit, and the beta
readers who help me keep all the character details in check. My Badass Editors and my Beta
Queens are the best, and I appreciate all their support.
And a big thank you to the newest member of my writing tribe, Ms. Chrissy R. Your sexy
brain and awesome attitude make working a joy. Love ya girl, and so glad you’re on this roller
coaster ride with me. You’re a coffee drinking badass and I’m glad you’re my friend.
Enjoy John and Mattie’s story, get to know Maria, and make sure to leave a review on
Amazon when you’re finished. Find me online and let me know what you think of the story, and
who you might want to hear more about next.
With much love from Texas,
Cee
1.
Loud Pipes Save Lives (Vegetarian)
Black bean burger on a toasted onion bun, topped with greens and fresh tomato with our
basil pesto mayonnaise
MARIA
“Don’t forget that tomorrow you have a meeting at nine with the fundraiser planning committee,
one at 10:30 with the other mid-level executives, lunch with a client, and then three meetings in the
afternoon. You’ll need to be on top of the reading material I emailed you for the afternoon clients.”
My assistant, Cherry, took a deep breath before she continued. I felt my stomach churn again and my
heart started to race, so I swallowed quickly a few times to hold my nausea at bay. “The budget
report for the senior partners is due by nine in the morning, so I’ll need you to go over the corrections
I made and send it to me so I can get it to the printer and pick up the copies on my way into work in
the morning.”
I nodded my head at Cherry and she nodded back before the elevator doors closed to take me
upstairs to my final, most important appointment of the day. I focused on my breathing and tried to
slow down my heart rate as the elevator car rushed me up to the momentous occasion I had been
focused on for the last five years: my executive partnership meeting with the five men who had started
Chalmers, Prescott, and Adams, Inc.
The three Chalmers brothers, along with Mr. Prescott and Mr. Adams had started this company in
the 1970s and built it up to be a national success that most companies could only dream about. With
branch offices on both coasts, the corporate headquarters was still located here in New Orleans, the
home of the founding members of the firm.
The doors whooshed open and I calmly strode out into the waiting area that led to the executive
suites and conference rooms. The receptionist smiled at me and waved me toward our meeting room
with a tight smile. I swallowed the bile down again as I looked toward the thick wooden doors that
would swing open to my future.
It was a future I wasn’t even sure I wanted anymore.
◆◆◆
“Mrs. Roland?” I heard a voice that sounded like it was coming through a long tunnel. “Are you
okay?”
I shook my head and tried to clear it, the black spots in my vision making it hard to focus on the
hall around me. I took a deep breath and swallowed, once again using every ounce of willpower I
had to stop myself from puking on the expensive rug under my feet.
I lifted my head and tried to focus on the source of the shrill voice that was calling my name, but
the room tilted, and I felt myself falling slowly right before everything went black.
◆◆◆
“Ms. Roland, I’m Dr. Myers, the resident gastroenterologist here at Tully-Beaux Medical
Center.” The doctor, a man who looked like he was about 15 years old, smiled at me as he pulled the
rolling stool over to sit beside my bed. “They gave you some medicine when you arrived here in the
emergency room. Are you feeling better?”
“Yes.” My voice cracked and the doctor leaned over and picked up the cup of ice chips that the
nurse had brought in a few minutes ago. I took the cup from him and tilted it up to my mouth, holding
a piece of ice on my tongue as it melted rather than chew on it and make that horrible sound that drove
me nuts.
“You’ve been here for almost two hours and in that time, your blood pressure has come down
considerably. It’s almost down to a normal reading, but that might change as we talk, so I’d like you
to try to remain calm.”
“Calm?” I heard the monitor beside my bed beep and the doctor’s eyes slid to the side to stare at
the numbers for a second before he looked back at me.
“Couldn’t even hold onto it for five minutes, I see.” Dr. Myers shook his head as he looked down
at the clipboard in his hands. “What do you do for a living, Ms. Roland?”
“I’m a lawyer,” I answered.
“I’m going to assume that your position is a high-stress job,” the doctor stated as he looked over
my chart’s details. “You vomited in the ambulance and the paramedic saw that there was blood in the
fluid. While you were unconscious, we did a few quick tests and the results I have so far show that
you most likely have at least one, but possibly more peptic ulcers. That’s a tear or infection in your
stomach lining that can be exacerbated by stress and a poor diet.”
I blinked at the doctor waiting for him to continue with something I hadn’t already suspected
myself.
“Your blood pressure was at such an elevated level that the paramedics brought you in with a
preliminary diagnosis of stroke risk, Ms. Roland. Do you have a history of high blood pressure?”
“I don’t think so.”
“When was the last time you had a routine physical?”
I looked up toward the ceiling as I thought back to my last doctor’s visit.
“I saw my gynecologist and had birth control inserted in my arm.” I kept thinking and couldn’t
come up with a time frame on when I had that procedure. “It was at least four years ago, I think.
Maybe even five.”
“And you haven’t seen a doctor since then?” the ER doc asked and I could see his confusion.
“You haven’t been sick at all in four or five years?”
I took a deep breath and wondered just how much information I should give this man, wondering
if it would have any bearing on his diagnosis to know what I had done in the past.
“I have been sick a few times, but I just haven’t had a chance to go to the doctor. I happen to have
some extra antibiotics left over from another time, so I take them when I feel something coming on.
It’s not a big deal.”
The doctor slowly shook his head and reached up to scratch the back of his neck.
“I know. I know. It’s not good to do that, but I didn’t have the time to make an appointment or sit
in a waiting room.” I shrugged and then put my hand on my stomach, the semi-permanent position I
rested my hand in almost all the time now. I cringed at the realization. “What time is it? I need to
head back to work. I have meetings to prepare for.”
“Do you understand what chronic stress does to a body, Ms. Roland?”
“Once I get this promotion, I won’t be as stressed. I just need to work a little harder, get into the
position I’m aiming for, and then I’ll be home free.”
“And then you’ll be less stressed?” the doctor asked me with his eyebrows raised. “Because
there’s nobody in that building that will be gunning for the job you’ve been vying for?”
I tilted my head, realizing that he was right. This wasn’t going to go away and it wasn’t ever
going to get any better by ignoring it.
“I’m not a therapist, Ms. Roland, and you can take or leave my advice, but I feel like you should
take a long look at your life and the path you’re on. Pick your head up and look around you to make
sure that the place you’re trying to get is worth your life because, honestly, it’s going to kill you if you
keep going at this pace.”
“I’ll listen to your advice, doctor, and think about what you’ve said. It’s close to what I’ve been
thinking myself. I want to have kids and a house with a big backyard. I want a dog and a cat - maybe
even two dogs and a cat. I want to sleep in on Sunday mornings and make pancakes with whipped
cream smiley faces. I want to sneak off with my husband and have a quickie while the kids are taking
a nap. I want to quit wearing these fucking shoes that kill my feet every day. I just want. That’s it. I
want. Something.” I realized there were tears streaming down my face and I reached up to wipe
them away as I took a deep breath. “And it’s not what I’ve got right now. That’s not what I want
anymore, if I ever really did.”
I poured my feelings out to this man. This stranger. More so than I had to anyone since I moved
from Texas to New Orleans. I had quite a few friends around me that I talked to often although they
were realistically not more than acquaintances. Autumn was my best friend here in town and like a
sister to me, someone I confided in, but the things I was blurting out to this doctor weren’t even things
I realized were there. They were things I had wanted in what seemed like another life.
Another life that I used to imagine had my husband at the center of it.
“Ms. Roland, it seems like you’ve mapped this out before, the life you want. And I’m not one to
tell a person how to live, but I can tell you that if you keep up this stress level, you won’t be around
long enough to make any of those things a reality.”
The doctor stood up and stuck his hand out to me. I reached out and shook it as he smiled warmly
at me.
Once the doctor left the room, I reached over and pulled the table holding the phone closer to the
bed. I needed to call and find out what was keeping Jordan.
I passed out in the executive suites of my office building and not one single person had called to
check on me. None of the men I was trying so hard to impress had even cared enough to have their
assistant call to check on me, let alone do it themselves.
Worst of all, my husband hadn’t even called. He damn sure hadn’t shown up, but he hadn’t even
bothered to phone and fake his concern even though he most definitely knew that I had been taken
away in an ambulance.
I dialed Jordan’s direct line and waited for him to pick up.
His assistant answered. Not Jordan.
“I’m so sorry, Maria, but he had me transfer his phone and said I was not to disturb him. He’s
preparing for this evening's dinner with some prospective clients and wants to make sure everything
is in order.”
“I know he has a business dinner, but I really need to talk to him. I was taken to the hospital by
ambulance a few hours ago.”
“Oh, yes! We heard about that. Are you feeling okay now?”
“I’m much better. Jordan knows I’m at the hospital?”
There was silence for a few beats as Jordan’s assistant tried to find a subtle way to tell me that
my spouse didn’t find me or my health nearly as important as he found his job.
“Yes, ma’am. He does know.” The assistant, a new one whose name I couldn’t remember,
whispered, “He was walking into the building and saw them pushing you out and putting you into the
back of the ambulance.”
“Well, then,” I snapped. I didn’t mean to lash out at the poor girl, but it was that or start
screaming. “I’ll find my own way home.”
I calmly set the phone on the table and then swung my legs over the bed ready to leave this room,
this building… this life.
◆◆◆
I waited for the crosswalk signal and looked down at my feet. When I put on my black heels this
morning, I loved how they looked with my power suit, but by the time I walked out of the house, my
feet were already killing me.
Now, walking down the sidewalk toward my office, they were screaming in agony.
I glanced up at the sky and wondered about the clouds that were hovering over the city. The heat
was oppressive and we could use a refreshing shower, but I hoped that it would wait until I was
safely inside my office building before the predicted downpour.
Of course, it seemed like this day was just destined to be my worst day ever. Before I made it
three more blocks the sky darkened and rain started pouring. I was drenched and freezing within just
a few minutes and just couldn’t walk any further in this condition. I glanced around and saw that a
few of the shops around me had covered areas in front of their doors. I decided to huddle in one of
them while I waited out the storm and reassessed my life choices.
Since the medics had collected me from the hallway floor outside my boss’ offices, I hadn’t had
my purse when they wheeled me off. Meaning I didn’t have a way to call a cab and even if I had my
phone, I didn’t have the money to pay the fare.
With my now soggy hospital discharge papers clutched in my hand, I hurried under the awning of
a business whose windows were already dark. I stood there in the shadows for a few minutes willing
the rain to slow so I could make it to my office and end this horrible fucking day.
I heard a noise behind me and turned to see a woman unlocking the door to come out, most likely
to head home for the day. Instead, the woman pulled the door open and invited me in.
“Come in, honey. It’s a rager out there. You’re going to get swept away!” The older woman was
almost yelling now just to be heard over the storm. “Come in! Come in!”
Without any other choice, I scurried past the woman and into a dark shop. There was a single
light on above a desk that was situated close to the back of the space and I could see shadows of
shelves and other furniture.
“I’m Amelie Guilott. You come on in here and dry off before you catch your death of cold,” the
lady muttered as she took my arm and pulled me toward the back of the store. “What a pretty woman
like you is doing out alone in this terrible weather even I don’t know.”
“I got stuck downtown without my purse or my phone. I don’t have a way to call anyone or a way
to pay for cab fare.”
“Stuck downtown? And you’ve walked all this way? Where are you headed? Texas?” Amelie
chuckled and I couldn’t stop a smile from crossing my face at her outrage. How in the world I had
gone from drenched rat to parlor conversation in the span of two minutes was completely beyond me.
“You come on up to my place, doll, and I’ll get you dried out and warmed up. We’ll wait out the
storm over a hot drink and you can tell me your troubles while I finish my husband’s dinner.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t want to impose!” I argued halfheartedly. For some reason though, as odd as it
was, I wanted to trail after this woman. I wanted to spill my heart to her and watch her make a meal
full of love for her man.
What the hell is wrong with me? I must have hit my head when I passed out and fell. I knew
better than to go into a dark place with some stranger and then to go even further and just walk into
her home. No one knew where I was or was even worried about me. By the time they knew I was
gone this woman might have my body stuffed in a trunk and on the way to feed her pet gators out in the
swamplands.
I heard her chuckle and wondered what she thought was funny. Before I could ask, she opened a
door and light spilled from a stairway ahead of us. I held the door as Amelie walked through it and
then followed her up.
“My man and I live here above the shop. He works for the road crews and is probably rained out
right about now and headed home to me.”
“If I can use your phone, I might be able to find someone who can come and pick me up.”
“Oh, honey, don’t you bother anyone now. No sense in everyone and their dog being out in this
mess when they don’t have to.” She motioned toward a table set over in the kitchen area of the small
apartment above her store. “You just sit right down and make yourself comfortable. Take those pretty
shoes off and let your toes rest for a minute.”
Honestly, that idea sounded heavenly. I sat down in the kitchen chair and slipped my feet out of
my heels, loving how it felt to be able to wiggle my toes again.
“So, tell me, little miss Maria, what brings you to my street in the rain?”
And for the second time tonight, I poured my heart out to a complete stranger. For the next hour,
she listened to me talk as she fixed dinner, set the table, greeted her husband, and then put the food out
for us to eat.
While we ate, Amelie and her husband Clyde, both asked me questions about my life and what I
wanted to do with it. I felt like I had known both for years and it felt good talking to the two of them
as we ate dinner together. The cynic in me wondered why two strangers would go out of their way to
shelter me, feed me, and make me comfortable. The lonely and scared woman inside me welcomed
their attention and soaked it in like a sponge.
Once we were finished with dinner, Amelie and I washed the dishes before I insisted that I had to
go.
“It’s dark out now, Ms. Maria. Let me change and get a better smell about me and I’ll drive you
wherever you need to go,” Clyde said as he stood up and walked toward the hall I had seen when we
entered the apartment. “My love, take her downstairs and talk to her about her future. I know you’ve
been itching to get your hands on her.”
Amelie laughed and Clyde smiled down at her as he dropped a kiss on her nose when he passed
by.
“You know me so well, my lovely man.”
“Talk about my future?” I asked Amelie, curious about the things Clyde had just said.
“Why did you choose my door to duck in to get out of the rain?” Amelie asked me.
“I don’t know. It was the first one I saw, I guess,” I told her.
“You passed two shops with the same set up as mine and then you crossed the street and huddled
on my porch. It wasn’t the first one you saw, but it was the first one you were drawn to.”
I didn’t quite understand where she was going with this, so I just smiled at my hostess.
“You came to me because it was what you were meant to do.” Amelie shrugged and said, “Come
downstairs with me while we wait on my man to get changed.”
I followed Amelie downstairs, my curiosity piqued.
“Have a seat, sweet Maria.” Amelie motioned toward a chair that was set up on the opposite
side of the desk from where she was standing. “I would like for you to meditate with me for a few
minutes and then I’m going to help you find the different choices and paths you have in your future.”
“You’re a psychic?” I asked her and then smiled when she laughed and shook her head.
“I’m a little bit of everything and all of nothing just like everyone else is. Just like you.” Amelie
lit a candle and then relaxed in her chair, her hands resting on the desk with the palms up. “Sit with
me and calm yourself for a few minutes. Let your energy flow through your body rather than keeping
it balled up in your abdomen causing you to be sick.”
My eyes widened as I stared at Amelie. How had she known about my stomach problems?
“Sit with me, sweet girl. Let’s see what the world has in store for you.”
I didn’t have anything to lose, so I sat across from her and put my hands in hers. I closed my eyes
and took deep breaths until Amelie ordered, “Match your breathing to mine and clear your mind.
Think of colors and rainbows. Think of your favorite sweets you ate as a child, your favorite pie
after Thanksgiving dinner. Your best friend’s smile when you gave her a gift. Relax.”
I focused on Amelie’s instructions even though I didn’t believe in hocus pocus. It was the least I
could do to show her respect; the woman had sheltered and fed me after all.
“Can you feel the power inside you? It’s there waiting on you to remember how to use it,”
Amelie whispered. “You’ve lost it, put it aside for other things, let it rest while you walked behind
what was making you blue.”
I wasn’t sure what she was talking about. A power within me? I had always been stubborn -
maybe that was my superpower, although for most of my life it had been my downfall.
“I see so many colors in your future, Maria. Right now, your world is blue and gray. You’re
surrounded by it, clasped in its clutches, but ready to find your way out into the light.” Amelie gently
squeezed my fingers as she held my hands in hers. “Oh, Maria. You have such beauty waiting for
you. There is dark and light and as with anything, if you put the two together it will balance you.
That is what you are searching for, Maria - your balance.”
Amelie was right. I needed to find the balance between my marriage and my hopes for a family
and a future and my career ambitions.
“You can find that balance of the dark and the light in the red place. Take a journey with the
seasons and go where the land is red to find your peace. Once you’ve arrived, you will find a tree
whose roots have always held you and arms to hold you now. In the red place is where you’ll find
your balance and realize with the power of three, there is nothing you can’t do.”
Amelie squeezed my hands tightly and I opened my eyes to stare at her. She was smiling at me.
“When you open yourself up, such goodness flows from you. You have such a calm and healing
power within you. When you find your peace, your calmness and healing strength will help those
around you, those that love you.”
I tilted my head trying to figure out what she meant. A red place? I didn’t even really like the
color red. Was she talking about the desert? A tree in the desert? I was so confused.
I saw Amelie move her chair back and then pull out the drawer above her lap. She pulled a
miniature tape out of a cassette player and slid it across the desk to me.
“I want you to have that so you can remember our conversation after you go away.” Amelie
watched me close my hand over the little cassette and then she smiled brightly at me. “And someday,
you bring the light and the dark back to me for a visit and I’ll make another dinner for us to enjoy.”
“I’m not sure I’ll be moving anytime soon, Amelie.”
“You’ll realize that if you go west, you’ll find the red place where you belong - the red place with
the tree and the balance you need to live the happy life you’ve dreamed of.” Amelie reached out and
took my hand. “You’re surrounded by blue and gray; your whole life is consumed with it. You need
to find yourself, find your own colors, and live a bright and wonderful life with the power of three,
Maria. Please.”
“I’ll try, Amelie,” I assured her as she came around the small table and gave me a tight hug. “I
promise.”
For some reason, there were tears in my eyes, but I wasn’t sad. I was something else, an emotion
I didn’t quite recognize. Was it hopeful? Was that what I was feeling?
“That is what you're feeling,” Amelie whispered. “And you should hold it close to you, my
dear.”
“My love, I’m ready when Maria is,” I heard Clyde call out as he walked down the stairs. “Sorry
it took so long, Maria, but I sat down on the couch and got engrossed in the news and then fell asleep.
I woke up and realized I’d been asleep for more than an hour! I figured my Amelie took you home.”
“An hour?”
“Well, yes. It’s almost nine now.”
I had been sitting here with Amelie for over an hour? It felt like minutes.
“Goodbye, sweet Maria. Good luck.” Amelie’s eyes were twinkling and I couldn’t resist another
hug.
This had been the oddest evening of my life, but I felt so good now, so refreshed. I put my hand
on my stomach and realized it hadn’t hurt in hours - not since I cowered from the rain in front of
Amelie’s shop.
I followed Clyde through the store toward the front door and heard Amelie call out just before
Clyde pulled the door closed, “Get rid of the blue and the gray, Maria. Find your red!”
Clyde chuckled as he locked the door to the shop. He popped an umbrella open and covered the
two of us all the way to the car. Once I was in the passenger seat, he rushed around the car and got in
to drive me to my office where my car was parked.
We had gone a few blocks in silence when Clyde finally spoke, “Amelie’s got a gift, Maria. You
should listen to her because she’ll never steer you wrong.”
“I’m going to try and figure out what she was talking about. The gray and blue? I don’t
understand it,” I told him honestly. “I’ll think about it, though. I’m sure something will come to me.”
“Follow what she says and then let us know how you’re doing, you hear?”
“Yes, I will. I promise.”
◆◆◆
JOHN
“Time to go, sweetheart.” I slapped the blonde on her ass and then rolled over and put my feet on
the floor as I reached for my phone to check the time. “Mattie, wake up. I’m headed to the shower.”
I felt the blonde’s hand move up my back as I tried to remember her name. Amber? Angie? It
was something that started with an A. I knew that much.
“Can’t we spend the day in bed?” Ms. A purred. “I had so much fun last night. I can’t wait to do
it again.”
“Sorry, hon. You only get one ticket for the ride and you punched yours more than once last
night.” I slowly shook my head and shot her a tight smile. “I’m headed to the shower; you can see
yourself out.”
I saw her face change from horny to pissed off, but I didn’t care. She was just one of many who
were fun for a few hours, but would turn into a pain in my ass with too much exposure. Better to get
her out of here now before I lost the will to be nice.
“Come here, baby,” I heard Mattie mumble from the other side of the bed. “I’ll take care of you.”
The covers rustled and I heard Ms. A giggle as I shut the bathroom door. I shook my head as I
turned on the shower and adjusted the water.
People shouldn’t expect me to play nice before my coffee.
◆◆◆
MATTIE
“You could have been a little less of an asshole,” I told John as he walked into the kitchen for his
first cup of coffee. “She was fun. I might want to bring her back here again.”
“You know I don’t like to have women here more than once,” John growled as he got his mug
down from the cabinet. “Gives them ideas.”
“Ideas? God forbid a woman have one of those!” I chuckled. “You’re a fucking caveman, John.
We’re going to be alone forever if you don’t rein that shit in.”
“Women don’t want men like me forever, man. You? They can envision it. Me? Not so much.
I’m not into that bullshit anyway, and you know it.”
“It’s time for us to settle down, John. I want what some of the guys have.” I stared at my best
friend and wished he could imagine the same future I wanted; it would just make it so much easier if
he could. “I want a woman to come home to at night. One we can laugh with. One that will put up
with your fucking moods and laugh with me when you’re a dick.”
“Good luck with that,” John growled as he walked toward the front door. “I’m headed to the shop
to talk to Daughtry and then I’ll be up at the office. You sit there and sip your coffee and dream about
a woman that doesn’t exist.”
I shook my head wondering if John might be right. What woman wanted to spend her future with
two men like us? Both of us so fucked up that a sane woman would probably run screaming for the
hills after more than one night.
Fuck. Who was I kidding? They always wanted more than one night. But none of them had ever
talked about forever. Not even one.
2.
The Mother Clucker
Egg salad on white with a side of fresh fruit and a pickle
MARIA
Once Clyde dropped me off in front of my office building, I walked through the posh lobby
toward the elevator, smiling at the security guard who was on duty after hours.
I rode to the correct floor and walked out into the waiting area. During the day, a pleasant
receptionist greeted everyone who came and went from this floor, but now her desk was empty.
There were still quite a few lights on, enough to easily see the path I needed to take to get to my
office. As I walked through the carpeted entryway, I glanced over at the sedate furnishings and
décor.
The entire office had been professionally decorated in shades of gray. I had joked with Jordan
years ago that for a multi-million dollar company, CPAMA was boring. There were no colorful
murals on the walls or areas of the building that showcased some of the more successful campaigns
our law firm had been part of, or any of the illustrious clients we represented. Everything in the
building was muted, even the plants that were scattered here and there weren’t healthy-looking; they
were always just on the edge of wilted.
Kind of like me.
I followed the dark gray carpet runner down the hall to my office and flipped the light on as I
walked in. There were two new stacks of folders on my desk and I put my hand on my stomach as it
started to rumble. I decided that now was not the time. I grabbed my purse out of the desk drawer and
hurried out.
Once I was in my car, I took a deep breath and tried to calm my racing heart. The information the
doctor gave me about my blood pressure and probable ulcers was racing through my head. I sat in my
car for a few minutes, realizing that the instant I walked into that office, my stomach had started to
hurt me and my heart began to race.
I tried not to think about the conversation with Amelie, about being surrounded by gray. The
building I worked in was decorated entirely in shades of gray. This place and everything it stood for
was slowly killing me. I had to get away.
I reached into my purse and dug out my phone. I had five missed calls from my friend Autumn, but
no phone calls or texts from Jordan or any of my co-workers. Not a single person in my professional
life had called to check on me today. That told me that the ideas racing around at the edge of my mind
were going to happen. I was ready to quit my job. If today was any indication, no one would even
notice when I was gone.
I flipped the phone open again and hit speed dial to call Autumn. She answered on the second
ring and I could tell by her voice that she had been crying.
“Honey, what’s wrong?” I asked her.
“Taylor. That’s what’s wrong.” Taylor, Autumn’s long-time boyfriend, was a subject I tried to
avoid at all costs. There was something about him that didn’t click with me and I worried that my
friend was going down the wrong path with him. I felt that he was using her for her money, enjoying
the fact that she had millions and he hadn’t had to work for a dime of it. If he stayed with her, he never
would.
Case in point, Taylor had planned a romantic getaway with Autumn. The two of them flew
together to an island in the Bahamas just a few days ago and were staying at a five-star resort for the
next two weeks. All paid for by Autumn.
“What happened?” I put the phone on speaker and started my car for the drive home. “Why have
you been crying?”
“I heard Taylor talking on the phone. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but I heard my name, so I
stopped to listen.”
This couldn’t be good. I shook my head as I pulled out of the parking lot and headed home.
“What did he say?”
“He was talking to some man named Ronnie about an investment and saying that he had brought
me here to butter me up so that I would give him the money he needed. He said he was bored as hell,
wished he was with anyone but me, and couldn’t wait to get home to his ‘sweetheart.’ I’m not going
to give you all the details, but let’s say that Ronnie is a man and he is also Taylor’s sweetheart.”
“Oh, shit,” I whispered. I hadn’t seen that one coming. “What did you do?”
“I canceled his return flight, checked us out of the hotel, and flew home. Without him.” Autumn
said firmly. “I tried to call your office and they said you were out sick.”
“I was. Well, I was there, but then I got sick.”
“Are you better already?”
“It wasn’t that type of sickness.” I braced for the explosion I knew would come with my next
words. “I passed out and was taken to the ER by ambulance.”
“You what?” Autumn screeched. “Where are you now? Why didn’t you call me? Why didn’t
Jordan call me? Why didn’t your assistant tell me what happened when I called looking for you?”
“I’m on my way home now,” I interrupted Autumn. “I’m fine.”
“You’ve been walking around holding your stomach for months now and you passed out today.
I’m almost positive you are not fine,” Autumn growled. “Where are you?”
“I’m driving home.”
“Where is Jordan? Why isn’t he driving you? Should you be driving?”
“Jordan didn’t come to the hospital and I haven’t talked to him all day. He saw them putting me
into the ambulance, Autumn, and he didn’t do anything. He’s with clients this evening,” I whispered.
“That son of a bitch!” Autumn yelled. “I’ll be waiting for you at your place.”
Autumn hung up, so I snapped the phone closed and tossed it into my purse. By the time I got
home, Autumn would have something comforting cooking on the stove, a glass of wine waiting for me
on the bar, soothing candles lit that she was positive would help my mood and health, and she would
be on a rampage wishing for Jordan’s head on a pike out in front of our building.
Because that’s what best friends did when a man treated you wrong. They ate food with you,
soothed you with alcohol, tried to cheer you up, and plotted the asshole’s death.
◆◆◆
“That fucker,” Autumn growled as I walked into Jordan and I’s condo. She wrapped me up in her
arms and hugged me. The gesture almost brought me to tears. “I’ll cut his balls off.”
I chuckled.
“I will! I’ll cut his balls off and then toss them down the disposal. Charlie will kill me if it clogs
the pipes, but I don’t give a shit.” Charlie was the building manager and he was cranky when one of
the residents messed up his pristine building. Well, technically it was Autumn’s immaculate building,
but Charlie ran it.
I had purchased a condo across the hallway from Autumn after Jordan and I had both been at the
firm for a year. While I was directing the movers with our things, I met Autumn in the corridor. We
struck up a friendship and had been almost inseparable since that day six years ago.
It was almost a year after we met that I found out Autumn owned our building and quite a few
others around town. Months after that, I found out that she had millions in the bank, properties all
over the world, and was on the board of quite a few major companies. Of course, the best part of
learning that information was where I was standing with her when I found out the details.
She and I had been in a thrift store looking for a “quirky” table for her entryway. That afternoon,
she and I had stripped the table, repainted it, and then decorated it to match her other décor.
“Let me go and change clothes and then I’ll come back and we can plot his death.” I chuckled at
Autumn as I pulled out of her hug.
“I’ll get started on dinner,” Autumn said. “I’ve been testing a new recipe and I think I’ve finally
gotten it perfect. You can be my guinea pig.”
I walked down the hall into the master. Once I was standing in my walk-in closet, I took off my
shoes and set them in their spot on the shelf. I stripped out of my clothes and then dug through the
bottom drawer of the dresser to find my comfiest pair of yoga pants and an old t-shirt. I went into the
bathroom to brush out my hair and pull it back away from my face, and then I walked back through the
bedroom on the way to the kitchen.
Something caught my eye and I looked toward Jordan’s open closet door. I veered off my original
path and walked over to the closet and flipped on the light.
Jordan’s shoes were lined up perfectly on the shelves. His suits hung evenly on the racks in the
closet and it struck me that they were all either black, gray, or blue. That was a perfectly natural
selection for men’s dress clothes, but the ties were what had drawn me to this closet. The neckties
were almost all blue. There were a few others that were gray or silver in his collection, but the
majority of his neckties were blue.
My office was gray and my husband was blue. The two colors that Amelie had mentioned were
surrounding me and that I needed to get away from.
My job and my husband were slowly killing me and if I didn’t make my escape, I would never
find happiness.
With a roar, I started ripping Jordan’s clothes off their hangers. I tossed them all out into our
bedroom. When I finished with that task, I started in on the drawers. All his ties went flying, along
with his underwear and socks. In a rage, I threw his shoes out into the bedroom. I heard Autumn let
out a shout, but I didn’t stop. I couldn’t stop. I needed to clean out everything to do with Jordan and
my life. I needed to throw it away and start fresh.
“Honey, are you okay?” I heard Autumn say from the closet door.
“I am not okay,” I growled. “I am done. Fucking done!”
“Really? You’re finished with him?” Autumn asked me, her voice hopeful.
“Yes, really!” I shouted as I tossed more of Jordan’s things out into the bedroom. I had started on
his golf clothes now and I was enjoying myself. Maybe just a little too much.
As I glanced over my shoulder at her scream, I saw her dancing on top of a pile of Jordan’s
clothes. I couldn’t help but laugh, the sight of her happiness breaking into my rage.
“I’ll get some bags to put his shit in!” Autumn yelled as she ran out of the bedroom. “Keep
going!”
When I finished with his golf clothes, I moved on to his dresser. Jordan’s pile of stuff was
growing - it was almost waist high in the middle of the bedroom floor. As I opened the third drawer
to clear it out, I heard Autumn talking to someone as she came closer to the bedroom. I recognized
Charlie’s voice instantly and when I heard another man speaking, I realized George, one of the
security men that worked the desk in the lobby, was also here.
Two men I didn’t recognize followed Autumn into the bedroom and one of them was carrying a
roll of black trash bags. Without a word, the man ripped a bag off the roll and handed it to his
partner. The two of them started stuffing Jordan’s things into a bag. When it was full, they tied it
closed and started on another.
“Go around and get everything you want to go and put it in the center of the room. We’ll put it all
in storage for Jordan. Charlie and George are changing the codes on all the doors and the elevator.
Jordan won’t be able to get inside in about five minutes.” Autumn was out of breath as she bent down
on the floor to help the two men fill a trash bag. “I also called my lawyer and he’s headed to his
office to draft your divorce papers. He said he'll need to talk to you first thing in the morning for
some details, but he can have Jordan served by lunchtime.”
“Holy shit, you work fast,” I laughed. “I take it that you fully approve of me kicking him to the
curb.”
“You think it’s as much as you approve of me leaving Taylor on an island with no money and no
way to get home?”
“Yep. I think it might be just about that much.” I laughed as I walked into the bathroom to gather
Jordan’s toiletries. I didn’t even think it was sad that Autumn and I were having so much fun with
this. I knew that it would hit me later that I was throwing out five years of marriage like it was just
any old trash, but right now, it felt good.
For the first time in months, the pain in my stomach wasn’t from stress; it was from hunger.
Even though it wouldn’t do any magic on my waistline, this new feeling felt right to me.
◆◆◆
“You look good,” Autumn told me with a smile as she breezed into my kitchen.
“Thank you. I’ve lost two hundred and thirty pounds of ass and I’m feeling much lighter now,” I
said with a smile as I sat down at the table. “Have you heard from George or Charlie about Jordan
yet?”
A little after three this morning, I started getting phone calls and texts from Jordan. He was in a
rage because he had been locked out of the building. One of George’s security men had called the
police because Jordan refused to leave the property. When the cops arrived, Jordan, who was drunk,
was so worked up that the officer feared for his safety and tazed Jordan causing him to fall and writhe
on the floor like a fish out of water.
Autumn and I had watched the video at least ten times before she went back to her condo to go
back to sleep. When we saw him wet his pants in the video, she and I had laughed so much we nearly
peed, too.
This morning my cheeks and abs hurt from laughing so hard last night. My heart was a little heavy
now that the adrenaline had worn off. Those happy children and pancakes with smiley faces were
fading from my future now since I was almost thirty and single.
As I drank my coffee, I scrolled through the texts and emails I had received from Jordan making
sure to keep them on my phone. The threats of violence on both of those, the texts sent from his phone
number, and the voicemails recorded in his voice would come in handy when we went to divorce
court. The fact that he had been charged with trespassing, destruction of private property, public
intoxication, and assaulting a police officer wouldn’t help his case much either.
“I need something new, Autumn,” I told my friend. “The weirdest thing happened last night, and I
am probably certifiable, but I’m going to go with it.”
“Weird other than you losing your mind and kicking your husband out of the house?” Autumn
asked as she sat down across the table from me.
“Yeah. Magical weird. Or something. I don’t know what it is.”
“Did you bump your head when you passed out?”
“No.” I flipped her off and shook my head. “I did not bump my head.”
Autumn laughed and shrugged her shoulders, “You’ve been acting differently, that’s for damn
sure. Tell me what happened and I will either roll with it or call someone and have you fitted for a
long-sleeved white jacket with really shiny buckles.”
I chuckled and sipped my coffee. “You know I don’t like to wear white. I want a pink one.”
“Okay. When the men come to take your crazy ass away, I’ll make sure and suggest that.”
“Really though, do you believe in coincidence? Or that everything happens for a reason?”
“Well, sure. I believe everything and everyone has a purpose. Everything we do affects what
happens next. That’s simple.”
“Say you have three doors to choose from and open door number three, do you believe that
something led you to that particular door or was it just a random choice?”
“Okay, nutso, tell me where you’re headed with this. All that talking in circles makes me need
wine.”
I told Autumn what happened yesterday, what the doctor said to me about my health, and how I got
caught walking in the rain. When I started to explain my instant warmth toward Amelie, Autumn’s
eyebrows rose.
“You’re not an instant friendship kind of person, Ria.” Autumn chuckled. “You and I hit it off
pretty quick, but I’ve seen how you are with most people. They’ve got to work to get in there just for
a polite conversation. I can’t imagine how much work someone would have to put in to get you to
come into their house for dinner and hours of conversation.”
“She just asked. And the more I think about it, the weirder it is.” I took a deep breath and
blurted, “I just realized I never told her my name, but she knew it.”
“You had to have told her your name, honey.” I could tell that Autumn was starting to get worried
about me and I tried to relieve her fears.
“No, I swear. I didn’t tell Amelie my name.”
“Okay. So, it’s odd, but what’s the problem?”
“She told me about my future. Well, what I had to do to get the future I want.”
“You met a psychic and that’s why you kicked Jordan out?”
“No. Yes.” I put my hands up and shrugged. “Fuck. I don’t know.”
“Were you serious last night when you said you were done at the firm?”
“I was. I am. I passed out in a building surrounded by co-workers and my fucking husband and
not a single person checked on me after the ambulance took me away. I don’t owe them a damn thing,
least of all more of my life.”
“I agree. What about money?”
“I have money. All of my inheritance from my parents’ estates along with the money from my
grandparents.”
“Okay. So, why were you working yourself to death again?” Autumn asked sarcastically.
“Because Jordan and I had a plan,” I whispered.
“And you want to change that plan?”
“I do. I want to have pancakes with smiley faces and get a dog.” I didn’t tell Autumn about the
children, the house, or the quickies with my imaginary husband. “I want to have a life and a family. I
want love.”
“Okay,” Autumn shrugged. “I’m pretty mobile, you know. I don’t really keep a schedule.”
“I need to move away. Want to come with me?”
“Are we keeping the condos and going on a road trip or are we going to rent a moving truck and
take off?”
“Why don’t we keep the condos as a backup plan?”
“That is the sanest and most reasonable thing you’ve said in the last hour.” Autumn dramatically
wiped her brow and sighed. “Where are we going?”
“Somewhere red. That’s where I’ll find my dark and light. That’s where I’ll find my balance.”
“And now we’re back in cuckoo country,” Autumn laughed, “But I’ll go along for the ride.”
◆◆◆
JOHN
“How long is it going to take that order to come in?” Mattie asked me as he walked past my
desk. “I’ve got a customer out there who wants to have his fucking bachelor party here and we don’t
have nearly enough ear protection to go around.”
“Eight days,” I answered him wondering how in the hell it was a bachelor party if they were
coming to the gun range. “They don’t think they’re going to be fucking drinking out here, do they?”
Mattie laughed and shook his head, “I asked the same thing. Guy said they were headed to the bar
after they came here. They’ll have a limo and all that shit. Sounds like a huge shindig.”
“Screw that marriage shit,” I grumbled. “Never happening here.”
“It will happen, John. We’ll find a woman who can’t resist us and want to keep us both around
even when we’re too old to fuck.”
I shook my head at him.
“We need to settle down and find a woman, brother. Come on. At least think about it.”
“Not gonna happen. I’m not the settling down type. Someday you’ll find a woman and marry her
and I’ll come over for Sunday dinner occasionally. I might even let her do my laundry while I’m
there, but that’s all of me she’ll be doing. You’ll get married and pop out babies, I’ll stay single and
free, and we’ll all live happily ever after.”
“I’m going to find us one that will change your mind.”
“No woman is going to sign up for the two of us for the rest of her life, Mattie. Get that shit out of
your head. We’re fun for a fling, but that’s about it. I know you want what your parents have, but
that’s a fucking unicorn in a field full of four-leaf clovers as far as the real world goes.”
“If it can happen once, it can happen again,” Mattie insisted as he walked out of my office.
“Watch out, John Boy. She’s going to hit you like a ton of bricks.”
Another random document with
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olivat enemmän maan sisällä, eivät he näyttäneet tällä osalla meren
rantaa kuljeskelleen. Ja mitä heillä täällä olikaan tekemistä? —
Kalastamassako, kun ei rannoilla näkynyt mitään kanoottivenheitä?
Tahi metsästämässäkö? Vaan muuta täällä todellakaan ei ollut
saatavana kuin villilintuja ja metsähedelmiä.
Juuri tämä paikka, jossa olivat, oli korkein penkere, mistä maa
viettyi mereen päin. Päinvastaiseen suuntaan aleni maa autioksi ja
hedelmättömäksi hietakorveksi, jolla ei edes ruohonkorttakaan
näkynyt kasvavan. Muuta ei taitanut nähdä kuin hietaa ja erästä
auringon paahtamaa, kuumaa kivilajia; ei kuivinkaan pensaskasvi
ilmoittanut maan olevan edes kosteankaan merta ja lahtea
ympäröivään metsäkaistaleesen saakka, joka juuri niistä sai
kasvullisuutensa. Kädellään nojautuen pyssyyn katseli katteini Oilytt
tyytymättömänä ja rypistetyin kulmin autiota ja surkeata maata.
"Mitä sitte?" sanoi nauraen katteini, jolla juuri niin paljon viinaa oli
päässä, ettei hän mitään estettä tunnustanut mahdottomaksi. "Sitä
vihollista tahdomme vastustaa. Tulepas tänne tavaran-hoitaja! Missä
se laiska riiviö taas piileksii? — Aina penikulman takapuolella! Tänne
teidän täytyy tulla ja kulkea minun rinnallani. Ymmärrättekö?" Ottaen
häneltä suuressa määrässä tyhjennetyn viinaputelin, otti hän siitä
pitkän ryypyn. "No niin, ja nyt lähdetään; eteenpäin vaan pojat. Nyt ei
meillä enää ole pitkältä aamiaispaikalle."
"Tuossa lähellä",
Kun Black kääntyi häneen päin näki hän, että onnettomaan oli
sattunut yhdeksän tahi kymmenen keihästä, jotka kaikki syvälle
olivat tunkeuneet hänen ruumiisensa, — niin, koko villien joukko
näkyi ottaneen ainoastaan hänen ampumataulukseen, sillä maa
ylt'ympäri oli peitetty heittokeihäillä. Tämä oli luultavasti pelastanut
muut samasta kohtalosta, sillä mustain vihollisten viha kääntyi
ainoastaan tähän poloseen, jonka he luulivat jostakin vieraasta
suvusta ruvenneen vakoojaksi valko-ihoisille.
Vaan myöskin sen joukon puolelta, joka ajoi katteinia takaa, uhkasi
merimiehiä vaara; sill'aikaa, kun vaan osa seurasi pakenevaa,
kokoontuivat muut. Heidän aikomuksestaan ei voinut olla
epätiedossa. He tahtoivat katkaista palausmatkan tältä pieneltä
joukolta, ja Black huomasi ensiksi sen toivottoman tilan, johon olivat
joutuneet, kun Bob ilmoitti pudottaneensa kaikki patruunit
taskustansa, pyytäen antamaan itsellensä toisia. Tosin taisi hän vielä
tällä kertaa auttaa, vaan jos heitä kovasti ahdistettiin, kuinka olisi
ollut mahdollistakaan täällä kallioin keskellä, saamatta apua mistään,
tunkeutua lukuisan villijoukon läpi? Se ei olisi konsaan onnistunut.
Venheen vartiat.
Sillä aikaa kun muut tunkivat eteenpäin, oli katteini Oilytt tavaran-
hoitajan keralla, jolle pysähtyminen oli mieleen, kiivennyt sille
kivipaadelle, jolla Black näki hänen olevan, ja tälle heittäytyi hän
pitkäkseen levätäkseen hetkisen. Tosin hänen jalkaansa lienee
vähän pakottanut; vaan tämä oli kuitenkin tekosyy, sillä hän tunsi
päänsä raskaaksi paljosta viinan juomisesta ja auringon
räätämisestä ja tätä ei hän tahtonut antaa Black'in huomata. Jos
hänen miehensä löytäisivät vettä, niin, sitte hän ehkä seuraisi heidän
perästään tahi odottaisi heitä tässä, saadakseen juoda kylläiseksi
heidän tuomista vesivaroista; olivathan villit paenneet vuoristoon
ennen kuin aseilla varustetut valko-ihoiset tulivatkaan, jonka vuoksi
eivät saisikaan nähdä yhtään ainoata näistä. Viinaa hän ei enää
halunnut — se oli hänestä vastahakoista; jäsenensä olivat jo nyt
lyijyraskaat ja tie venheelle taas oli pitkä. Heittäen takkinsa
muonasäkin ylitse, asetti hän tämän päänsä aluiseksi, joten hän
samalla suojeli sen sisältöä tavaran-hoitajan näpistelemisestä,
vetiihe sitte pitkäkseen, käski kumppaliaan visusti vartioimaan ja oli