Negotiation Skills

Arab Academy

Lecture 4
Principled negotiation
Insist on using
4 objective
Criteria
Invent Options for 3
mutual gain
2
Focus on Interests,
not position

Separate the People 1

from the problem.
Separate the People from the problem
People
Separate the People from the problem

It is so hard to deal with problems without

the misunderstanding of people against
each other, they often get , upset
and take things personally.
Separate the People from the problem
Negotiators are people first

As a basic fact of negotiation, you are not dealing with abstract representatives but with
who have:

1) values,

2) emotions

3) different viewpoints and backgrounds.

Same to you.
Separate the People from the problem
The human aspect of negotiation could be or disastrous.

HOW??
Separate the People from the problem
The agreement process:
Offended Angry
People
Respect Trust Friendship
leads to the
fail of
negotiation
Smoother and Efficient Negotiation Frustrated Hostile

The agreement process: Depressed

 In one hand, the relationship
where respect, trust &
friendship could make
negotiation smoother and
efficient.
 On the other hand, people get angry,
hostile, depressed, frustrated and
offended which leads to the fail of
negotiation.
Separate the People from the problem
The question is:

“Are you paying enough attention to the people’s problem??”

Separate the People from the problem
Every negotiator has two kinds of interests,

Substance Relationship

Positional bargaining puts relationship & substance in conflict.

Ex: If you would not agree with me, this is the last time we meet.
Separate the People from the problem
Separate the relationship from the substance.
You should deal directly with the people problem.

Substance Relationship

If misunderstanding existed, do your best to improve communication.

In order to find your way to handle people problems, you should think of

Perception Emotion Communication

Separate the People from the problem
Handling people problems:
Perception
Perception

Conflict do not lie in objective reality but in people’s heads (their thinking).
Video Car

Put yourself in the other side’s shoes because each one only see the merits of its case &
the faults of the other side. Video Media

If you wanted to influence them you should understand the power of their point of view
and to feel the emotional force of their belief.
Separate the People from the problem
Handling people problems:

Perception
Separate the People from the problem

Perception
Separate the People from the problem

Perception
Search Give the
Do Not Do Not For other
Deduce Blame Opportu- side a
nities say

Do Not deduce the Do not blame the to take actions that Give the other side a
are consistent with say in the outcome
other side’s other side for your
the other side’s by participating in
intentions from your problem.
perception. the process.
fears.
Separate the People from the problem
Handling people problems:

Emotion

Emotions of one side may generate emotions on the other side.

Fear may lead to anger thus bring a negotiation to an end.

Negotiation
Fear Anger
End
Separate the People from the problem
Handling people problems

Emotion

Recognize and Do Not

Clear Emotions Steam Off Gestures
Understand Reach

Recognize & Make your Allow the other Do not react to Use symbolic
understand emotions clear & side to let the emotional gestures
emotions, yours acknowledge steam off explosion
and theirs them as
legitimate
Separate the People from the problem
Handling people problems:

Communication

Communication
There is no negotiation without communication.
Separate the People from the problem
Handling people problems:
Communicatio
Communication

Listen Actively Prevention works best

1 2

Build a working Face the problem, not

3 relationship 4 the people

Speak to be understood Speak for a purpose

5 “I feel depressed”
rather that “you broke your word”
6
Principled negotiation:

Principled
Negotiation

Negotiating Interest based

on the merits negotiation
● Develop many options to choose from & decide later.
● Avoid searching for a single answer.
● Avoid premature judgment.
● Avoid thinking that “solving their problem is their problem”.
Principled negotiation:
Preparation See things from the
1 other side’s point of 3
You have to know view. Why they are
your interests and negotiating?
why you value them
Research for the interest of the
What is the issue at hand other side
What are the ”needs” What are their needs (security,
recognition, autonomy)
Know the strengths
Be aware of the
2 and weaknesses of 4
unpleasant
yourself and your
consequences for
position
Self awareness both sides if your
Personality proposal/idea is not
Characteristics accepted
Emotional intelligence If you succeed who else might be affected
or harmed?
 Separate the People from the problem
Trying to prove
Assuming same Expect reciprocity
how smart or
communication Preferences
Big picture thinking or detailed
“right” you are
analyses? By talking, and talking

Stories or facts?

Time to process or get 3

decisions?
2 4 NOT
Listening
Assuming Common Carefully
Shared Values 1 5
Mistakes
Separate the People from the problem
Remember…
● Pay attention to both levels
○ The issue about which decision must be made
○ Developing relationship that leads to win/win solution
● Don’t give too much credit to the other side
● You are an asset, present from strength