Download as pdf or txt
Download as pdf or txt
You are on page 1of 44

Long Term Systemic Therapy :

Individuals, Couples and Families 1st


ed. Edition Arlene Vetere
Visit to download the full and correct content document:
https://ebookmass.com/product/long-term-systemic-therapy-individuals-couples-and-f
amilies-1st-ed-edition-arlene-vetere/
More products digital (pdf, epub, mobi) instant
download maybe you interests ...

Queer Families in Hungary : Same-Sex Couples, Families


of Origin, and Kinship 1st ed. 2020 Edition Rita Béres-
Deák

https://ebookmass.com/product/queer-families-in-hungary-same-sex-
couples-families-of-origin-and-kinship-1st-ed-2020-edition-rita-
beres-deak/

Resource Management for Individuals and Families 5th


Edition, (Ebook PDF)

https://ebookmass.com/product/resource-management-for-
individuals-and-families-5th-edition-ebook-pdf/

The Handbook of Systemic Family Therapy, volume 1: The


Profession of Systemic Family Therapy 1st Edition Karen
S. Wampler

https://ebookmass.com/product/the-handbook-of-systemic-family-
therapy-volume-1-the-profession-of-systemic-family-therapy-1st-
edition-karen-s-wampler/

Economics and Ageing : Volume III: Long-term Care and


Finance 1st ed. 2020 Edition José Luis Iparraguirre

https://ebookmass.com/product/economics-and-ageing-volume-iii-
long-term-care-and-finance-1st-ed-2020-edition-jose-luis-
iparraguirre/
The Handbook of Systemic Family Therapy Volume 4 :
Systemic Family Therapy and Global Health Issues Mudita
Rastogi

https://ebookmass.com/product/the-handbook-of-systemic-family-
therapy-volume-4-systemic-family-therapy-and-global-health-
issues-mudita-rastogi/

Capital Allocation: Principles, Strategies, and


Processes for Creating Long-Term Shareholder Value 1st
Edition Giroux

https://ebookmass.com/product/capital-allocation-principles-
strategies-and-processes-for-creating-long-term-shareholder-
value-1st-edition-giroux/

Blood and Marrow Transplantation Long Term Management


2nd Edition Bipin N. Savani

https://ebookmass.com/product/blood-and-marrow-transplantation-
long-term-management-2nd-edition-bipin-n-savani/

Mosbyu2019s Textbook for Long-Term Care Nursing


Assistants 8th Edition

https://ebookmass.com/product/mosbys-textbook-for-long-term-care-
nursing-assistants-8th-edition/

Governing Social Protection in the Long Term : Social


Policy and Employment Relations in Australia and New
Zealand 1st ed. Edition Gaby Ramia

https://ebookmass.com/product/governing-social-protection-in-the-
long-term-social-policy-and-employment-relations-in-australia-
and-new-zealand-1st-ed-edition-gaby-ramia/
PALGRAVE TEXTS IN COUNSELLING AND PSYCHOTHERAPY
Series Editors: Arlene Vetere · Rudi Dallos

Long Term
Systemic Therapy
Individuals,
Couples and Families

Edited by
Arlene Vetere · Jim Sheehan
Palgrave Texts in Counselling and Psychotherapy

Series Editors
Arlene Vetere
Family Therapy and Systemic Practice
VID Specialized University
Oslo, Norway

Rudi Dallos
Clinical Psychology
Plymouth University
Plymouth, UK
This series introduces readers to the theory and practice of counselling
and psychotherapy across a wide range of topical issues. Ideal for both
trainees and practitioners, the books will appeal to anyone wishing to
use counselling and psychotherapeutic skills and will be particularly rele-
vant to workers in health, education, social work and related settings. The
books in this series emphasise an integrative orientation weaving together
a variety of models including, psychodynamic, attachment, trauma, nar-
rative and systemic ideas. The books are written in an accessible and
readable style with a focus on practice. Each text offers theoretical back-
ground and guidance for practice, with creative use of clinical examples.
Arlene Vetere, Professor of Family Therapy and Systemic Practice at
VID Specialized University, Oslo, Norway.
Rudi Dallos, Emeritus Professor, Dept. of Clinical Psychology, Uni-
versity of Plymouth, UK.

More information about this series at


http://www.palgrave.com/gp/series/16540
Arlene Vetere · Jim Sheehan
Editors

Long Term Systemic


Therapy
Individuals, Couples and Families
Editors
Arlene Vetere Jim Sheehan
Family Therapy and Systemic Practice Family Therapy and Systemic Practice
VID Specialized University VID Specialized University
Oslo, Norway Oslo, Norway

ISSN 2662-9127 ISSN 2662-9135 (electronic)


Palgrave Texts in Counselling and Psychotherapy
ISBN 978-3-030-44510-2 ISBN 978-3-030-44511-9 (eBook)
https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-44511-9

© The Editor(s) (if applicable) and The Author(s), under exclusive license to Springer Nature
Switzerland AG 2020
This work is subject to copyright. All rights are solely and exclusively licensed by the Publisher,
whether the whole or part of the material is concerned, specifically the rights of translation, reprinting,
reuse of illustrations, recitation, broadcasting, reproduction on microfilms or in any other physical
way, and transmission or information storage and retrieval, electronic adaptation, computer software,
or by similar or dissimilar methodology now known or hereafter developed.
The use of general descriptive names, registered names, trademarks, service marks, etc. in this
publication does not imply, even in the absence of a specific statement, that such names are exempt
from the relevant protective laws and regulations and therefore free for general use.
The publisher, the authors and the editors are safe to assume that the advice and information in this
book are believed to be true and accurate at the date of publication. Neither the publisher nor the
authors or the editors give a warranty, expressed or implied, with respect to the material contained
herein or for any errors or omissions that may have been made. The publisher remains neutral with
regard to jurisdictional claims in published maps and institutional affiliations.

Cover illustration: Akash Raut/EyeEm/gettyimages

This Palgrave Macmillan imprint is published by the registered company Springer Nature Switzerland
AG
The registered company address is: Gewerbestrasse 11, 6330 Cham, Switzerland
Foreword

When I was asked to write this Foreword my immediate reaction was to


feel unsure about whether or not I knew enough about long term therapy
to be able to comment. I then asked what exactly is long term therapy?
Is it anything longer than the CBT fixed session protocols or the usual 6
approved insurance sessions? Working in the field of eating disorders this
does not even touch the sides.
It seems to me that there are different types of long term therapy: firstly
there is the situation where a therapist sees a client for ongoing sessions
for a significant length of time; secondly there is the situation where a
therapist sees a client at differing points in their lives and thirdly there is
the situation where the therapist offers a client an ongoing support over a
number of years for a specific reason without necessarily offering sessions.
In the field of family therapy I believe these also apply but would include
the whole or parts of the family.
I would like to describe 3 such examples of my therapeutic work to
demonstrate these ideas.
I have one male client who I first saw 9 years ago for a set 6 sessions in
relation to marital difficulties that he and his wife were having. He had a

v
vi Foreword

military history and had spent the early part of his adult life conforming
to others’ expectations of him. He was lacking in insight and ability to
take responsibility for his own behaviour and emotions. 9 years down the
line he is a sensitive emotionally aware man who has great insight and
ability for self-reflection. He attends currently every 4–6 weeks. When I
first met him I would never have imagined that I would still be seeing
him at all let alone so regularly. I believe that it is the longevity of our
relationship together that has allowed him to be able to do the work
that he has done that has involved his early relationships with his parents
and wider family, the role the military played in shaping his emotional
expression, and his sexuality.
I have had a number of clients that I saw as teenagers that made con-
tact as adults for varying reasons, for example, one client who I saw when
she was aged 15 years and had a psychiatric diagnosis of anorexia ner-
vosa. She sent me the occasional email over the years letting me know
what she was doing. Then following the birth of her first daughter, when
she was in her early thirties, some of her childhood issues resurfaced in
her parenting of her daughter. She was able to work through relational
difficulties she had with her own mother through thinking about herself
as a mother.
In another example, I shall describe a client who I saw when she was
aged 15 years, who had a psychiatric diagnosis of bulimia and depression.
She was struggling with her dream for herself not being what her par-
ents wanted for her, and again, over the years I got the occasional email
telling me about how she was achieving her dream despite her family’s
opposition. Again in her early thirties she had a crisis when her depres-
sion overcame her. She took herself into the jungle, consumed surgical
alcohol and cut her own throat. It was a miracle she was found. When
she came home she made contact and began to rebuild her life, which
ultimately resulted in her developing a new found spirituality and new
career path. In addition to this she dealt with the death of her much
beloved grandmother, who had been her main source of support within
the family, and ran the London Marathon.
The last client I would like to tell you about is a family I first saw 8
years ago when the parents first divorced. There were 2 children, a boy
of 8 years and a daughter of 11 years. The boy still wanted to see his Dad
Foreword vii

but the daughter had found a sexually explicit message from his girlfriend
on his phone and withdrawn completely from him, with the support of
the mother. My task had been to try to re-engage the father and daughter.
The mother eventually moved forward emotionally and actively worked
on supporting her daughter re-engaging with her ex-husband although
at this point the daughter was adamantly refusing all contact. Despite all
our efforts nothing changed. My final intervention was to encourage the
father to maintain a level of communication with the daughter that he
could sustain without getting anything back. With the mother’s support
he began telephoning once a week to talk to her, initially this was on
the house phone and eventually it was on the brothers’ phone. Over the
years he called from time to time to talk and up date me on the no
change; these conversations, for me, were soul destroying as I felt I had
let him down. For 7 years he maintained this until the daughter went to
university at which point he said to his daughter if she wanted him to
continue talking to her she would need to give him her number. She gave
him her number and suggested they text: this was the first time he had
got anything back from her. For the last year they have been engaging
in text conversations. 2 weeks ago the brother was having a pre prom
gathering at home and wanted his Dad there. The father accepted but
cautioned that he did not want to make his daughter feel she could not
be there, so he would stay away. Via the mother the father was told that
the daughter was ok for him to attend. This was the first time he had
seen his daughter in 8 years. She spoke to him and they hugged. When I
received his email update I cried.
These examples may not be conventional therapy examples; however
the common theme is the strong trusting relationship that was devel-
oped between the therapist and client. In the current climate too much
emphasis, I believe is placed on protocols and replicating treatment plans
that can be rolled out to all regardless of whether or not they are a good
fit. The personal and individualised approach that these examples show
are not possible now for most clients in public sector services.
I value a book that acknowledges long term therapy and the relation-
ships formed between client and therapist that are crucial to that therapy
being successful for those involved. This is particularly important in the
field of family therapy where several members of the same family can
viii Foreword

be seen by the same therapist. On more than one occasion I have been
referred to as ‘our family’s’ therapist. This, for me, is the way forward
for families in the same way a family might have a family GP or family
lawyer, they can also have a family therapist.

Maidenhead, UK Shelagh Wright


August 2019 Systemic Psychotherapist and
Accredited Family Mediator
Editors’ Introduction

Systemic psychotherapy has long been conceptualised and practiced as


brief psychotherapy, in both the public sector and in independent prac-
tice. There are many schools of practice within the field of systemic psy-
chotherapy, such as, solution focused, Milan systemic, open dialogue
approaches, narrative approaches, strategic and structural approaches,
narrative attachment, and so on, and all come under the umbrella of brief
therapy. Indeed, the brevity of these approaches formed one central plank
through which systemic psychotherapy found its own unique identity
against the background of more established psychoanalytic approaches to
psychotherapy. Systemic psychotherapy, broadly, has developed a robust
and ecologically valid evidence base and is recommended within NICE
Guidance, UK, for a range of psychiatric disorders (Carr 2014a, b). It sits
alongside the other major models of brief psychotherapy, such as, CBT,
CAT, behaviour therapy, EMDR, brief focal psychodynamic psychother-
apy, and so on. Typically, the brief therapies take place within an average
of 5–20 meetings, unless the work is complicated by trauma processes.
However, despite being seen as a brief therapy, in our practice and in our

ix
x Editors’ Introduction

supervision work, we notice that many colleagues offer systemic therapy


over the longer term.
Both Jim Sheehan and Arlene Vetere are systemic supervisors. We both
supervise experienced systemic psychotherapists and systemic practition-
ers. Increasingly we notice that our supervisees bring to the supervision
their longer term practice. This can take many forms, for example, long
term systemic psychotherapy over 3–5 years, and more, perhaps with
some managed breaks in the process; working with different generations
in a family system over the course of a life cycle, perhaps working with
the children, and then with the children as adults, or with their children;
or working with different parts of an extended family system at differ-
ent times; and offering an on-demand service to individuals, couples and
families over an extended period of time, including bi-annual ‘top up’
meetings. Our supervisees bring their dilemmas, their ethical concerns
and questions around long term relationships with individuals, family
systems, professional teams, supervision groups, and professional-family
systems. At the heart of many of their questions is a focus on the extent to
which systemic theory can accommodate and formulate long term prac-
tice, and where might be the boundaries of the systemic theories that
both help to explain and give direction to the work. At what point might
a supervisee need to incorporate and integrate other explanatory mod-
els into their systemic thinking, and what might this mean for systemic
practice? How does the relative longevity of the work impact the way
practitioners build and maintain therapeutic relationships with the re-
lational systems they assist? And what implications does such longevity
have on, and for, the supervisory needs of systemic psychotherapists at
the heart of the work? Given the absence of a rigorous evidence base for
long term systemic therapy and practice, how can we and our supervisees
hold ourselves ethically accountable for what we do and what we think?
Both of us also work systemically over the longer term, with individ-
ual clients, couples and families, and we also offer long term consultation
with teams, agencies and organisations. So we too are exercised by the
above questions and dilemmas. In editing this book, we have invited ex-
perienced systemic psychotherapists who are also experienced supervisors
to write about and reflect on their experiences of longer term systemic
work, and the implications for systemic theory in their area of practice.
Editors’ Introduction xi

All the contributors are well known in their field and have extensive expe-
rience of writing for publication: Ros Draper; Chip Chimera; Ana Aguir-
regabiria; Helga Hanks; Sarah Houston; T. K. Lang; Paddy Sweeney and
Martin Daly. We too both contribute a chapter each.
The book is divided into four parts of working therapeutically with (a)
couples and families, (b) with individuals, (c) with professional practi-
tioner groups and (d) with family businesses. In preparing our chapters,
some authors have invited their clients, with whom they have worked
together over the longer term to contribute some thoughts about their
experiences of being in such a long lived relationship, for example, the
chapters by Chip Chimera, Ros Draper and Arlene Vetere.
We shall briefly introduce each chapter in relation to how systemic the-
ory is used to understand the relational processes involved in longer term
systemic psychotherapy. Jim Sheehan writes about his work with couples
where one of them is challenged by a lengthy chronic illness. Systemic
theory illuminates the impact of the illness on the person, their partner,
their relationship and their family/social support systems and how their
circumstances and wider relational contexts influence the progression of
the illness. In working with couples over the longer term, Jim explores
how expected and unexpected life events, and the life cycle changes for
the couple and their relationship all benefit from an ongoing therapeutic
relationship where trust and commitment enable either frequent or in-
frequent consultation and therapy as needed. In her chapter on working
with couples and families, Arlene explores how some people simply need
longer to process and resolve unresolved hurts and losses in their relation-
ships. A typical couple therapy might consist of 10–20 meetings, but for
some, as Arlene shows, more time is needed to consolidate and make co-
herent the systemic experiences of healing, forgiveness and repair. The
development of a shared narrative as to how and why the therapy was
helpful often depends on the integration of, and reflection on, all aspects
of intimate experiences and this where the passage of time affords the
opportunity.
There are 3 chapters on working systemically with individuals. Both
Ros and Chip draw on their clients’ reflections—in Ros’ chapter to con-
struct the account, and in Chip’s to weave together her reflections with
that of her client’s. Chip writes of her therapeutic relationship with her
xii Editors’ Introduction

client and their joint challenge to identify and resolve early adaptive
self-protective processes of dissociation, and other unresolved trauma re-
sponses to relational danger, that in adulthood get in the way of de-
veloping trusting and intimate relationships. Ros, in her chapter, uses
a relationally discursive approach to co-construct accounts of the devel-
opment and progression of the therapeutic relationship and therapeutic
changes over time. Neither Ros nor Chip shy away from addressing the
challenges of longer term systemic work with individuals and focus on
processes of healing and repair in the therapeutic alliance. Sarah works
systemically with young people, and although the length of time spent
in the work might be relatively shorter than, say with the adult-focused
work discussed by Chip and Ros in their chapters, nevertheless, Sarah
uses systemic theory to show how subjective time and distressing experi-
ence can seem extended during adolescence, and thus how to assist young
people in navigating bumps in the road of their emotional and relational
development.
There are three chapters on extended group supervision with profes-
sional practitioners. This partly addresses a clear gap in the systemic lit-
erature (Henning 2016) and also offers an opportunity for all four au-
thors to explore what is enabled by the length of time afforded the group
members. Helga writes of how a committed supervision relationship with
peers and supervisors in a group setting enables the development of in-
terpersonal trust such that deeper recesses of experience can be accessed
and processed in the group with the group members. Her emphasis on
self care and care of others in extremely challenging working contexts
shows us all how persistence and emphasis on small acts of care and kind-
ness can systemically reverberate throughout the wider working system.
Similarly TK and Paddy and Martin in their systemic group work with
pastoral care teams and health care providers explore and illuminate the
development of processes of trust and trusting behaviour that enables
and sustains professional receptivity and complex emotional risk-taking
in their day-to-day work. All three chapters explore the parallel processes
and emotional dynamics in group work that can mirror similar processes
in the workplace and in other walks of life.
Editors’ Introduction xiii

Finally, Ana in her chapter on working systemically with family busi-


nesses illustrates the complex interplay and weave of family life and fam-
ily relationships with business roles, business hierarchies and working re-
lationships. Such interplay can lead to emotional dilemmas and discrep-
ancies that are harder to resolve, such as the reversal of hierarchies, power
and influence across the two domains of work and family, conflicts of loy-
alty between family and business roles, and the attachment dilemmas at
the heart of such complexity.
We hope this book will begin a process of addressing this huge gap in
the systemic literature between long term systemic practice on the ground
and a lack of theorising and research around longer term systemic work.
We want this book to both be a resource for practitioners and supervisors,
and to celebrate a growing interest in theory-practice linking in long term
systemic psychotherapy.

August 2019 Arlene Vetere


Jim Sheehan

References
Carr, A. (2014a). The evidence base for family therapy and systemic interven-
tions with child-focused problems. Journal of Family Therapy, 36, 107–157.
Carr, A. (2014b). The evidence base for couple therapy, family therapy and sys-
temic interventions with adult-focused problems. Journal of Family Therapy,
36, 158–194.
Henning, M. (2016). Positive dynamics: A systemic narrative approach to facili-
tating groups. London: Palgrave Macmillan.
Contents

Part I Long Term Systemic Work with Couples and


Families

1 Couple and Family Therapy as Meta-Theory: Doing


Relational Therapy in the Longer Term 3
Arlene Vetere

2 Couples with Chronic Illness: Challenges and


Opportunities in the Long-Term Therapeutic
Relationship 21
Jim Sheehan

Part II Long Term Systemic Work with Individuals

3 Olena’s Battle for Utopia 43


Chip Chimera

xv
xvi Contents

4 And It Takes as Long as It Takes 69


Ros Draper

5 Journeying Together Through a Landscape of


Uncertainty: Long-Term Systemic Work with Young
People 97
Sarah Houston

Part III Long Term Systemic Work with Professional


Practitioner Groups

6 Psychological and Emotional Support in the


Workplace: Can It Make a Difference for the Longer
Term? 121
Helga Hanks

7 Long-Term Supervision in Groups: Opportunities and


Challenges of a Language-Systemic Approach 137
T. K. Lang

8 Ministering Reflectively: A Story of Two Groups 159


Paddy Sweeney and Martin Daly

Part IV Long Term Systemic Work with Family


Businesses

9 Families in Business—The Longer Term Perspective 181


Ana Aguirregabiria

Editors’ Reflections: The Way Forward 197

Index 201
Notes on Contributors

Ana Aguirregabiria is a reliable and effective family therapist and clini-


cal psychologist. Ana has over two decades of experience in working with
families, improving their relationships and bringing greater understand-
ing and meaning to their interactions. Ana has a grounded commitment
to provide the best support to her clients by continuing her own learning
and development. She is a registered clinical psychologist (HCPC), char-
tered clinical psychologist and Associate Fellow of the British Psycholog-
ical Society. She started working in the NHS a a clinical psychologist and
a few years later started her own independent practice where she works
full time.
Dr. Chip Chimera is a systemic family therapist and psychodrama psy-
chotherapist with a special interest in the Dynamic Maturational Model
of attachment. She is the Director for Continuing Professional Develop-
ment and Innovation at the Institute of Family Therapy, London. Chip
has a particular interest in how family therapists integrate action methods
into their work which was the subject of her doctoral studies. She works
in independent practice with a range of individuals, families and groups.

xvii
xviii Notes on Contributors

In recent years she has also specialised in working with trauma organ-
ised systems, particularly those families who have engaged in prolonged
custody disputes.
Martin Daly is also a Catholic priest, family therapist and systemic
practitioner. He trained at the Mater Hospital Family Therapy Training
Programme. Until recently he has been Principal at a large Dublin sec-
ondary school. He has a particular interest in systems based leadership
in educational and other settings and has completed doctoral studies in
Leadership and Management. He practices as a family therapist and as a
consultant to groups and organisations.
Ros Draper is a systemic psychotherapist, supervisor and consultant
with many years experience working in the public sector and in private
practice. With David Campbell, Ros co-founded the influential Systemic
Thinking and Practice book series and has co-authored with Rudi Dallos
An Introduction to Family Therapy now in its 4th edition. Ros is passion-
ate about the usefulness of systemic ideas and the distinctive difference
these ideas make to the practice of psychotherapy.
Helga Hanks practiced as a Consultant Clinical Psychologist, Analytic
Psychotherapist and Systemic Family Therapist, in St James’s University
Hospital, Leeds. Until her retirement from her fulltime post she was also
a Visiting Senior Lecturer at the Institute of Psychological Sciences, Leeds
University. She is one of the founder members of the Leeds Family Ther-
apy & Research Centre (LFTRC) at Leeds University which came into
existence in 1979. She has been Clinical Director of the Centre until
2005. She is one of the core staff who developed the M.Sc. in Systemic
Family Therapy at the Institute of Psychological Sciences, Leeds Univer-
sity. Since 2001 she has worked in the Community Paediatric Depart-
ment, Leeds Community Healthcare NHS Trust. There she worked with
NHS staff supporting them emotionally and psychologically. Since 1980
she has provided systemic training and supervision for a wide variety of
professionals. She retired in 2019. The Journal of Human Systems was
first published in 1990 and she was a founder Member of that Journal.
She continues to be on the Editorial Board and has since 2017 been joint
Notes on Contributors xix

editor of the Journal. She has published and researched widely both in
the areas of family therapy and child abuse.
Sarah Houston is systemic psychotherapist working in Childrens’
Health Ireland at Our Lady’s Children’s Hospital Crumlin, in Dublin.
She works in a specialist therapy service for children and adolescents who
have experienced sexual abuse, and their families. She also works in pri-
vate practice as a systemic psychotherapist and supervisor. She has a back-
ground in social work and has been working in the area of mental health
for 20 years, much of which has involved working with children, young
people and families in Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services. She
has many years’ experience teaching on social work and family therapy
programmes at undergraduate and masters level. She lives in Dublin.
T. K. Lang, Dr. Theol. is Associate Professor in Theology at The Uni-
versity of Oslo. He works as Family Therapist and Supervisor, and has
for more than 35 years been supervisor for ministers, family therapists,
social workers, physicians, and other professionals. For many years one of
the editors of “Omsorg: Nordisk tidsskrift for Palliativ Medisin” (Nordic
Journal of Palliative Medicine). He is the co-author of Der fremtiden blir
til: Et dialogisk paradigme for veiledning (Where the Future is Formed: A
Dialogic Paradigme for Supervision). He has been in private practice as a
family therapist since 1989.
Jim Sheehan, Ph.D. is professor of family therapy and systemic prac-
tice at VID Specialized University, Oslo. He is a social worker, systemic
psychotherapist and systemic supervisor, practising and resident in Ire-
land. With Arlene Vetere he co-edited Supervision of Family Therapy and
Systemic Practice for Springer, 2018.
Paddy Sweeney is a Catholic priest, a family therapist and systemic
practitioner. Trained at the Mater Hospital, Family Therapy Training
Programme in Dublin and at the Tavistock Clinic in London he cur-
rently holds responsibility for the well being of clergy and church work-
ers in Dublin. This responsibility is enacted through one to one work
with individuals, the Ministering Reflectively programme, consulting to
groups and offering training.
xx Notes on Contributors

Arlene Vetere, Ph.D. is professor of family therapy and systemic prac-


tice at VID Specialized University, Oslo. She is a clinical psychologist,
systemic psychotherapist and systemic supervisor, registered and resident
in the UK. Arlene and Jim Sheehan co-edited Supervision of Family Ther-
apy and Systemic Practice for Springer, 2018.
Another random document with
no related content on Scribd:
The mother went to bed that night with a heavy heart,
and at dawn went quietly to Vinzi's room to hear what he
had done and to prepare him for what was coming. Vinzi
woke to find her sitting on the edge of his bed holding his
hand in hers.

"Tell me, Vinzi," she began, "now while we are alone


together, what you did yesterday to make your father so
angry. Were you in mischief? Tell me everything."

Vinzi thought for a moment, then remembered how


angrily Mrs. Troll had sent him away. Perhaps his father had
heard about that, so he related the whole incident.

A great load fell from the mother's heart; Vinzi had


done no wrong. But she understood very well how the
neighbor's words had angered her husband, for Vinzi had
caused him much secret worry and vexation. She explained
to the lad how he had done wrong not to tell her about the
matter, and asked if he had not thought he ought to tell
them at home before beginning the lessons. Vinzi said
candidly that he had feared his father would not give
permission, and as he had such an intense desire to learn
something about music, both Stefeli and he had decided the
afternoon was a good time for him to leave the pasture, and
if nothing happened to the cows his father could not say
anything. But his mother told him his silence had been
wrong, and now he would have to accept the consequences,
which she hoped would be for his good. Then she unfolded
his father's plan and told how he hoped Vinzi would learn to
enjoy farm work and how she prayed he would return so
bright and happy that his father would be pleased with him.

In spite of the care his mother took to tell him the


decision to send him away, Vinzi's look of alarm brought
tears to her eyes, though she was proud he uttered no word
of complaint.

Everything went on as usual that day, and the children


spent the hours out in the pasture. Stefeli was accustomed
to Vinzi's long silences, even though she could not hear all
he seemed to hear.

But today, he went too far, and when the silence grew
unbearable she said impetuously, "Do say something, Vinzi!
It is just as though you were not here at all."

"Well, I won't be much longer," he answered dolefully,


and went on to tell her he was going away, high up into the
mountains, to people he did not know.

"When do you have to go?" she asked, oppressed in


spite of the impossibility of believing the news. When Vinzi
was unable to answer that, she exclaimed with relief, "Oh,
then it may be such a long time that it will not happen at
all. Let's be happy again, Vinzi."

That evening after the children had gone to bed and the
parents were sitting alone, the father said he had gone to
town to talk with his friend, but found he had left that
morning to drive his cattle over the mountain. But there
was nothing unfortunate in that; on the contrary. He had
been informed that a young workman from Gondo was
returning to that town on Monday and as he would make
the way from Brig by foot, would have to put up somewhere
over night. That would be better for Vinzi; he would not
have to walk all the way. They would stay over night at
Berisal, where an innkeeper Mr. Lesa knew would give them
good accommodation.

Mrs. Lesa had listened silently, but now she said,


"Surely you are not going to turn our boy over to a man we
know nothing about except that he is going over the
mountain?"

"I looked him up immediately," replied her husband,


"and talked everything over with him. I am told he is a good
honest man, and believe he is all right. All Vinzi needs is a
companion, for at twelve a boy is no longer a little child."

"Young enough to go off alone," the mother sighed.


"Must it be on Monday?"

"It is best so," said the husband decisively. "When a


thing has to be done, it cannot be undertaken too quickly."

"It is a blessing we can give the boy into the keeping of


our Father in Heaven," sighed Mrs. Lesa. "It is my only
comfort."

"That is true," he replied, glad to know his wife had


some consolation. "Well, now everything is in order," he said
after a pause. But in spite of his words he pushed his pipe
from one corner of his mouth to the other as though there
was something in his mind that was not quite in order. "The
boy must be told what is going to happen."

"He knows. I told him early this morning. All you have
to do is to tell him when," said the mother.

This was welcome news to her husband. So Vinzi had


known all day, and had been quiet about it; there was to be
no scene such as he had anticipated with dread.

The next day when the afternoon sun shone down on


the bench in front of the house, the father seated himself
there according to his Sunday custom and called Vinzi to
him.
"You know that you are going up to your cousin on the
mountain," he began when the boy was sitting beside him.
"It is beautiful up there, and you will like it. I am sending
you for your own good, and you must not bring shame on
your parents. Your fellow-traveler knows the house where
you are to go, and you are expected, though they do not
know exactly when you will arrive. Just tell them who you
are and that I sent you as I arranged. You leave early
tomorrow morning with a man who knows all about the trip
you have to make."

Vinzi remained silent, which was as his father wished,


and to cheer his son just a little, he launched into a
description of the merry life of the young cousins on the
mountain.

Meanwhile the mother was packing the knapsack which


Vinzi would carry and Stefeli followed her about. She had
been told what was to happen the next morning and
knowing there was no chance to ask questions of her father
while he was talking to Vinzi, hoped she could talk to her
mother about it. But the knapsack was packed in silence,
supper was served and the mother seemed unable to utter
a word. She felt she must not betray her grief and make it
any harder for Vinzi, but she really had to say a few words
to him, and when he was in bed and his room in darkness,
she went to him.

"I am glad you have come, mother," he said


immediately. "Do you think my cousin will be angry if I
happen to forget about his cows? Stefeli always called me if
I was not watching."

"I do not know," answered his mother. "You see I do not


know your Cousin Lorenz or Cousin Josepha. But I want to
ask you, Vinzi, to do the best you can. If they complain or
send you back home, your father could not stand it. Never
do anything so you dare not look up to your Father in
Heaven. Remember when fearful or lonely that He is always
above you, that He sees and hears you. That is the best
comfort, Vinzi; do not forget it."

Vinzi readily promised he would remember her words,


and with that she left him.

Early the following morning the father accompanied


Vinzi down to the station where they were to meet his
traveling companion.

CHAPTER IV
A DEPARTURE AND AN ARRIVAL

Two letters had just come to Mr. Thornau who was


staying at the Leuk baths with his sick wife. One was from
his daughter, the other from the governess, and both urged
that he pay them a visit. That they wished exactly the same
thing gave him no particular pleasure, for he knew from
experience that such accord usually arose from some
disagreement. Laying the letters on his wife's bed, he said,
"That is another summons to go to Leuk, but don't be
disturbed about it."

In spite of the gentleman's words, his wife was greatly


excited and murmured, "Oh, if we had not sent the children
away! It isn't good for them. They should be with us."
"If you want them here, Alida," said her husband, "just
say so. You know my only reason for keeping them down
below is that you may have greater quiet."

"Yes, I would feel better if you would bring them,"


replied his wife. "The governess may mean well, but she is
too strict, and does not understand children. She is severe
when it is unnecessary, and under her training Hugo grows
more quiet and reserved and Alida more obstinate and
disobedient. Neither of our children is easy to handle."

"Quite right," agreed her husband. "Alida has my


temperament and being a girl needs specially careful
guidance. Hugo has your disposition and also your delicate
health."
"He also needs special control," added Mrs. Thornau.
"You will always deal with him gently, will you not, when I
am here no longer?"

"Let us not say another word about it!" protested Mr.


Thornau. "I will be on my way to settle this case, for it
always takes two hours. I will walk down, but probably ride
back."

When Mr. Thornau arrived at Mrs. Troll's house, the door


was suddenly thrown open and Alida darted out, for she had
seen him coming. Greetings over, the little girl began to
pour out her story, but her father checked the flow with:

"Miss Landrat comes first. Then it is your turn," and that


was really the way he heard of the matter.

Alida gave a vivid account of Vinzi's banishment by Mrs.


Troll, and called Hugo as witness that the boy was by no
means a street urchin, but a very nice lad, with whom
anyone would much rather be friends than with Mrs. Troll.

The father did not doubt for a moment that there was
some new reason for his daughter's sudden enthusiasm
about music. But that was not the main issue. He felt some
reparation must be made to the boy who had been kind
enough to return his daughter's scarf and afterward been
offered insult when he came to see her on her invitation. He
would call on the boy and his parents and apologize at
least, perhaps even make the boy some little present. Much
delighted, Alida took the place of guide, for she had learned
from Vinzi where he lived.

"I like the looks of this place," said Mr. Thornau,


glancing approvingly at the well-kept house, the newly
mowed lawn, the swept path, and the scoured bench in the
shade of the walnut tree.
"Too bad! Too bad!"

He muttered the last words, but Alida quickly


interpreted their meaning and said, "Yes, it is too bad that
we don't live here, papa, is it not? But we could soon move
here, as our piano is only rented. Then Vinzi could practise
with me every day. And how I would like it! Practising alone
is dreadfully tedious and that is why I gave him lessons, so
he could practise with me."

"So that is the reason of the music lessons! Capital!"


said her father, bursting out laughing. "And your pupil was
eager to learn?"

"Oh, yes, and so clever!" exclaimed Alida. "Just think,


papa, when I explained anything, he often understood it
better than I, and would explain it to me."

Her father smiled as he approached the front door,


which stood open, and stepping into the hall, he knocked on
the first door. At a call to enter, he opened the door into a
large sunny room where Mrs. Lesa sat at the window doing
some needlework, with Stefeli before her busy with thick
knitting needles and coarse yarn.

Mr. Thornau introduced himself and said he had come


with his children to express the sincere regret they all felt
that her son Vinzi had received such unpleasant treatment
from Mrs. Troll. He hoped they could tell the boy how sorry
they were and give him some proof of their friendship.

Mrs. Lesa declared she knew nothing of Mrs. Troll's


harsh treatment for Vinzi had not complained, but she
understood now what had happened; it was Mrs. Troll's
words that had stirred Vinzi's father to send the lad away
from home. He had left that very morning, and she had
been unable to think of anything else since his departure.
Begging the gentleman to be seated, she informed him how
things had gone with Vinzi.

Alida quickly ran over to Stefeli to ask, "Where is your


brother?"

"He has gone away," answered Stefeli.

"Why are you not in the pasture? When he is away I


thought you always waited in the pasture until he came
back," she said, seeming to know about everything.

"Vinzi is not away for just an hour. He has gone for


many weeks, so something different must be done about
the cows, though we do not know what," explained Stefeli.
"You see I cannot tend them alone. But mama says
everything has a good side, and now I will be able to stay in
the house and knit woolen stockings to have ready for Vinzi
when he comes home."

"I think that belongs to the bad side," said Alida quickly.
"The heavy needles will hurt your hands and the thick yarn
has cut your forefinger already. Come along out to the
barnyard. I hear the hens cackling out there."

Stefeli glanced at her mother who had heard what the


children were saying, and when she nodded her head in
assent, the two girls ran off.

"Wouldn't you like to go out too?" asked Mrs. Lesa of


Hugo, who stood behind his father's chair. "The air will do
you good."

"Why, of course, run along with them, Hugo," said his


father.
Hugo went quietly outside, and Mr. Thornau continued,
"If I understand you rightly, Mrs. Lesa, the boy has been
sent away because he takes no interest in the farm, which
is to become his life work. But he cannot be a stupid boy,
for he accepted with great eagerness my daughter's
invitation to give him music lessons, and she tells me he
showed unusual ability."

"No, no, there is nothing stupid about him," said Mrs.


Lesa forcibly. "The only trouble is his thoughts are ever
wandering. If he is in the field with his father and a bell
sounds from near or far, the lad is sure to pay attention to
nothing else until the sound can be heard no longer. Often it
is as though he were listening to something no one else can
hear. Of course that has made his father impatient, and he
thinks if Vinzi lives with other boys who love farm life, he
will like it too. But I do not know how things will go," with a
doubtful shake of her head. "This thing is very deep-seated
in Vinzi. Even when a little baby, he would stand still when
he heard any ringing sound. If he fell and was hurt, if I took
him on my lap and sang, he would stop his crying and be
happy again."

"That clearly shows your son has an ear for music,


delights in it, and probably has considerable talent. He
should be trained for the thing for which he is best fitted.
True, that takes several years, but he would become a
finished musician, be happy and satisfied, and you with
him."

"That is not for Vinzi," she said calmly. "His father would
never allow his only son to leave home for years and years
to study music and then gain an uncertain living among
strangers."
"It is queer how things go in this world," remarked Mr.
Thornau. "Look at that youngster out there! He is my only
son, but if he would express a wish, I would give him
anything. If he wished to study, I would be the happiest of
men. But what do you think? If I say, 'My son, would you
like to learn to ride?' he answers, 'No, I'd rather not.' If I
ask him, 'Would you like to learn to play the violin, the
flute?' he says, 'No, I'd rather not.' 'Would you like to be a
sailor and cross the seas to foreign lands?' 'Oh, no, I'd
rather not!' And so it goes with every question. And so I
must look with envy at your son who has a decided desire
in his heart."

Mrs. Lesa had been watching the boy as he stood


leaning against the tree and staring indifferently before him
while the two girls played a lively game of tag.

"He cannot be in rugged health," she said


sympathetically. "He looks pale and weak. He ought to live
out in the meadows."

"Yes, that would be good for him," agreed Mr. Thornau.


"He was never very strong, but since my wife has been ill
and he has been away from his mother, he has grown even
more delicate."

"Then why don't you let him stay with her?" inquired
Mrs. Lesa earnestly.

Mr. Thornau smiled and said, "You are a real mother


even toward those who do not belong to you; that is good.
But, you see, complete rest was ordered for my wife and so
I brought the children down here, for when the boy is with
his mother, the girl wants to be too, and she is very noisy,
though she cannot help it. Now my wife wishes me to bring
the children back to her as she worries when they are away.
But my visit has lasted long enough, Mrs. Lesa," he said,
rising. "However, please permit me to come again; it is
pleasant to be with you."

Mrs. Lesa accompanied her visitor outdoors and called


the children. Hugo was still leaning against the tree, but
came up slowly behind the scampering girls.

When Stefeli heard her mother invite the gentleman to


come again, she said quickly, "You'll come too, Alida?
Perhaps I will be in the pasture again and you can visit me
there. I'm sure you would like it."

Mr. Thornau and the children wandered back to Mrs.


Troll's house, and when they met her in the doorway, he
informed her he would be taking his children away in a few
days, and while their stay would be shorter than he had
expected, he would fulfill his bargain with her. Their mother
wished to have them with her, but the chief reason for their
removal was he would not allow anyone to suffer for doing a
favor to his children.

How changed Mr. Thornau was, to be sure, thought Mrs.


Troll as the gentleman walked away. Once so friendly, now
so abrupt and formal, and he was going to take the children
away. And all on account of that boy across the fields. It
was really laughable, thought she, though she did not laugh
by any means. She would have been glad enough to recall
her angry words to Vinzi, but it was too late, for the
carriage Mr. Thornau had ordered for his return had already
come.

As the carriage drove up the mountain, Mr. Thornau sat


lost in thought. He had received a most pleasant impression
of Mrs. Lesa and her household and wished he had known
her before he had placed his children with Mrs. Troll. She
would have been justified in scorning him and his children,
for it was through them her son had been sent away. But
she had shown no sign of resentment. He would put an end
to the study of the piano for his daughter; if she had any
real love of music she would act far differently. At the
moment he reached this conclusion, Mr. Thornau was
greeted by a pedestrian going in the same direction, whom
he recognized as his table-mate at the hotel.

"Oh, Mr. Delrick, what a hermit you are! Always alone!"


he called to him, and ordered his driver to stop. "Now jump
in, or I shall think my company is not good enough for you."

Mr. Delrick thanked him for the invitation, but declared


he was unwilling to give up his daily exercise.

"Then I'll go with you," said Mr. Thornau, leaving his


carriage. "I am sure I have news which will please you,"
and as they wandered along together, he continued, "Tell
me, do you intend to turn your back on all society and
become a hermit?"

"Matters are not quite so bad as that," said Mr. Delrick,


laughing, "but it is true that if I could find a home with
simple, orderly people where I could enjoy the beauties of
nature in quiet, I would gladly leave the hotel."

"I've found that house!" exclaimed Mr. Thornau in


triumph. "That is my news," and launched into an account
of the day, of Mrs. Lesa, and her home. "That, Mr. Delrick,"
he concluded, "is certainly the home for you, and though I
know we shall lose you, I cannot help telling you about it,
for you have a way with you that one cannot help doing you
a favor."

"My dear Mr. Thornau," said his companion, clapping


him on the shoulder, "I am most grateful to you, and your
description really creates a keen desire to look up the
house."

When Vinzenz Lesa left his house next morning to look


after his farm work, he saw a stranger approaching, who
asked politely, "Might this be the house that belongs to Mr.
Lesa, and do I have the honor of speaking to its owner?"

"Yes, sir."

"That is fortunate, for now I place the matter before you


myself. My name is Delrick and I come from Dresden. I am
stopping at the Leuk baths, but there are too many people
there to suit me and so am seeking a quiet house where I
may stay for a few weeks. Mr. Thornau drew my attention
to your place and now that I see it myself I greatly desire
you to take me in, if you will."
"I live here with my wife and child and we do not take
in strangers," said Vinzenz Lesa abruptly.

"You are right in that," Mr. Delrick answered pleasantly,


"and that is just what I would do in your place."

Mr. Lesa looked at the gentleman in astonishment and


then said, "Since we are of the same opinion, our business
is done."

"I am afraid it is true," replied Mr. Delrick. "But perhaps


you could tell me of some other house; one as much like
yours as possible, as quietly and beautifully situated and
surrounded by magnificent trees. You have a beautiful farm,
Mr. Lesa, and I cannot hope to find such order and care
elsewhere."

Vinzenz Lesa was pleased that the gentleman had his


eye open to the fact that his farm was better kept than
most. True, the condition of the yard and garden was to be
credited to his wife. It occurred to him that she would be
sitting in the house thinking about her boy; it was time that
he had arrived at his cousin's on the mountain. She had
scarcely spoken the whole day, and he did not like that.
Perhaps the boy's absence might worry her less if she had
this gentleman to care for. She had once suggested
arranging a room for boarders and it might not be at all
disagreeable to spend the evening hours in the company of
such a gentleman.

"Such a house as you suggest is not within my


knowledge," he said after lengthy deliberation, "but my wife
is inside, and you might talk with her. If she agrees, I would
be quite willing to have you stay. And now will you excuse
me? I have work to attend to," and he held out his hand.
Pleased and surprised over this unexpected turn, Mr.
Delrick grasped the offered hand and asked, "Do you mean
you will abide by whatever your wife decides?"

"Yes, just that," replied Mr. Lesa as he departed.

On the call to enter after his knocking, Mr. Delrick


stepped into the room and found a little girl busy knitting a
thick stocking by the window. When he asked if he might
speak to her mother, Stefeli said, "Oh, she'll soon be back.
When she heard you rap, she went into the other room
because she was crying a little."

"Oh, I am so sorry. Has something sad happened to


cause your mother to cry?"

"Yes, Vinzi has gone away for the whole summer, and
mother doesn't know the people he is with," Stefeli
informed him.

"I suppose Vinzi is your brother?" sympathetically. "Why


did he have to go away?"

"I don't quite know," answered Stefeli, "but perhaps


because he took piano lessons from Alida."

"Well, that is a peculiar thing," remarked Mr. Delrick,


smiling. "I suppose you were with your brother a great deal,
and you must miss him sadly?"

"Yes, indeed, and so does mother, and he is missed at


the pasture too. We were always together. Father has a
cowboy now, and mother will not let me go with him. Father
said at dinner time the cows won't graze, but run about as if
lost, and Schwarzeli wants to jump all the fences, and when
the cowboy runs after her, she grows wilder still. I can well
believe that, after she has known us so long and so well. Of
course she does not know a strange cowboy's voice, and
doesn't feel that things are right at all, poor Schwarzeli!"

When Stefeli had gone that far in her story, the door
opened and her mother entered. Mr. Delrick explained that
he had come to her at her husband's suggestion, but he
was not sure he ought to bother her now as he had just
learned from her daughter that they were having some
sorrow.

"Sometimes it does us good to have to pull ourselves


together and have no time to brood over our troubles," said
Mrs. Lesa calmly.

"It is still better not to consider a trouble as trouble at


all. That makes it easier to bear, don't you think so, Mrs.
Lesa?" he asked as though he were an old friend.

"I believe I understand your meaning, though I do not


know just how to reply," she answered after a little thought.

"There is no hurry about that," said Mr. Delrick


pleasantly. "If you will permit me to live in your house for
several months, we will have plenty of time to talk about
it."

Mrs. Lesa looked at her visitor in wonder, but the happy


surprise that flitted over her face at his words quickly
disappeared. "That does not depend upon me alone, sir,"
she said in her quiet way. "I know my husband will not take
strangers into the house, and that decides the matter."

"I have already come to an understanding with Mr.


Lesa," explained Mr. Delrick. "He told me himself that he
would be satisfied with whatever decision you make."
Mrs. Lesa did not know what to think. Just a short time
ago her husband had declared no strangers would be taken
in. She suggested Mr. Delrick should first look at the two
rooms they could give him, to see if they would suit. If they
did, she would talk the matter over with her husband and
send him word at his hotel. This pleased Mr. Delrick, for he
did not wish to hurry a decision, he said, as he followed her
upstairs. The light, airy room with windows to the east
through which shone the morning sun attracted him no less
than the one to the west with the giant walnut trees to
shade it, and he was so loath to leave them that she could
not fail to observe it.

When Vinzenz Lesa came home that evening the first


thing he said was, "Well, what did you arrange with the
gentleman?"

His wife told him she had been unable to give any
definite answer without knowing what he thought about the
matter. "But, Vinzenz, I believe that if the gentleman comes
to stay with us, he will bring us a blessing," she concluded.

"We always have need of that," replied her husband, "so


you better let him know at once that he may move in."

CHAPTER V
IN EXILE
VINZI made the first half of his journey without
speaking a word. The thought that he was to live with
strangers a long time depressed him, so he did not wish to
talk and scarce realized what went on around him.

At Berisal his companion took him to the innkeeper who


knew his father, and after the man had plied him with
questions about his trip, he thought it best for Vinzi to have
his supper and go to bed quickly, as he must be weary with
his journey. Indeed, he was so tired, he sank into a sound
sleep and did not wake until his fellow-traveler shook him
the next morning.

He dressed hurriedly, swallowed his cup of coffee and


soon was climbing the mountain with his companion. The
pair went along silently, for Vinzi was more and more
overcome with fear the nearer he came to his destination.

"Look, my boy!" said his guide suddenly as he stopped


his inveterate whistling. "Do you see that gray stone house
over there?"

"I see it," he said at last in a low tone.

"We will stop there for something to eat," said his


companion. "Then comes the last climb. After that our way
is down. You will not have far to go, but I have to go all the
way down the valley, so we cannot rest long."

It was all the same to Vinzi whether the halt was long
or short, and he had no desire for food. He thought only of
his arrival at the house which might be as dismal as this
one of gray stone. And then those strangers! Now they
reached the summit and the road began to descend.

"What is that?" asked Vinzi, looking timidly at a great


building on the left of the road.
"You need not be so frightened," said the young
workman. "There's nothing bad about it. On the other hand,
it's a fine place. The monks live there who take in travelers
in the winter who are half frozen."

"What is that over there?" asked Vinzi a little later,


pointing to an ancient tower.

"You are making such eyes at it, would you like to go


inside?" asked the young man, laughing. "I would not care
to enter those old walls. It is as silent there as if it were the
end of the world. But there are old men there. Ten years
ago I saw one sitting by the tower, his hair and beard as
white as the snow on yonder peak. A year ago I saw him
again. Ah, there he is now! Step lively, my boy; you have
not much farther to go."

But there was a half hour's brisk walk before his


companion pointed down the road and said, "Do you see
that little white church, with the few houses beside it? That
place is called Near-Chapel. The village is a little lower
down, but your cousin lives at Near-Chapel. I'll show you
the house and then keep on my road. You cannot miss your
way."

When they reached the chapel which stood near the


road on a little rise, the guide paused and said, "Well, here
we are! Now go to the right past the chapel, to the very last
house. There is a barn beside it. Lorenz Lesa lives there.
Good-bye and good luck!"

Vinzi shook his hand, and with drooping head said,


"Good-bye, and I thank you."

His guide turned and went whistling away.

You might also like