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Positive Psychology: The Scientific and Practical Explorations of Human Strengths 4th Edition, (Ebook PDF) full chapter instant download
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Brief Contents
1. Preface
2. Remembering Shane J. Lopez
3. Acknowledgments
4. About the Authors
5. Part I Looking at Psychology from A Positive Perspective
6. Chapter 1 Welcome to Positive Psychology
7. Chapter 2 Eastern and Western Perspectives on Positive Psychology: How “ME +
WE = US” Might Bridge the Gap
8. Chapter 3 Classifications and Measures of Strengths and Positive Outcomes
9. Part II Positive Psychology in Context
10. Chapter 4 The Role of Culture in Developing Strengths and Living Well
11. Chapter 5 Living Well at Every Stage of Life
12. Part III Positive Emotional States and Processes
13. Chapter 6 The Principles of Pleasure: Understanding Positive Affect, Positive
Emotions, Happiness, and Well-Being
14. Chapter 7 Making the Most of Emotional Experiences: Emotion-Focused Coping,
Emotional Intelligence, Socioemotional Selectivity, and Emotional Storytelling
15. Part IV Positive Cognitive States and Processes
16. Chapter 8 Seeing Our Futures Through Self-Efficacy, Optimism, and Hope
17. Chapter 9 Wisdom and Courage: Characteristics of the Wise and the Brave
18. Chapter 10 Mindfulness, Flow, and Spirituality: In Search of Optimal Experiences
19. Part V Prosocial Behavior
20. Chapter 11 Empathy and Egotism: Portals to Altruism and Gratitude
21. Chapter 12 Attachment, Love, Flourishing Relationships, and Forgiveness
22. Part VI Understanding and Changing Human Behavior
23. Chapter 13 Balanced Conceptualizations of Mental Health and Behavior
24. Chapter 14 Preventing the Bad and Promoting the Good
25. Part VII Positive Environments
26. Chapter 15 Positive Schooling and Good Work: The Psychology of Gainful
Employment and the Education That Gets Us There
27. Part VIII Finding Strengths in Others: Embodying Strengths in Everyday Life
28. Chapter 16 Remembering Shane: Real Strengths in a Real Person
29. References
30. Glossary of Key Terms
31. Author Index
32. Subject Index
8
Detailed Contents
Preface
Remembering Shane J. Lopez
Acknowledgments
About the Authors
Part I Looking At Psychology from a Positive Perspective
Chapter 1 Welcome to Positive Psychology
Building Human Strength: Psychology’s Forgotten Mission
Going From the Negative to the Positive
A Positive Newspaper Story
Reactions to This Positive Story
Positive Psychology Seeks a Balanced, More Complete View of Human
Functioning
Views of Reality That Include Both the Positive and the Negative
Where We Are Now and What We Will Ask
Personal Mini-Experiments: What You Want to Experience
A Guide to This Book
Personal Mini-Experiments
Life Enhancement Strategies
The Big Picture
Appendix: Movies for Review
Key Terms
Chapter 2 Eastern and Western Perspectives on Positive Psychology: How
“ME + WE = US” Might Bridge the Gap
A Matter of Perspective
Historical and Philosophical Traditions
Western Influences: Athenian, Judeo-Christian, Islamic, and Anishinaabe
Traditions
Athenian Views
Judeo-Christianity
Islam
Anishinaabe Teachings
Eastern Influences: Confucianism, Taoism, Buddhism, and Hinduism
Confucianism
Taoism
Buddhism
Hinduism
Summary of Eastern and Western Philosophies
East Meets West
Individualism: The Psychology of ME
9
A Brief History of American Individualism
Emphases in Individualism
Collectivism: The Psychology of WE
A Historical Comment on Collectivism: We Came Together Out
of Necessity
Emphases in Collectivism
Demographics Related to Collectivism
The Stories We Tell
Orientation to Time
Thought Processes
East and West: Is One Best?
Personal Mini-Experiments: Getting and Giving Help
Different Ways to Positive Outcomes
“The Rugged Individualist” and the Construct of Hope
The Need for Uniqueness
Eastern Values: Compassion and Harmony
Where We Are Going: From ME to WE to US
ME/WE Balance: The Positive Psychology of US
Both the Individualistic and the Collectivistic Perspectives Are
Viable
Thinking About Your Own Life
Suggestions for ME People (Individualists)
Suggestions for WE People (Collectivists)
Final Thoughts
Appendix: The Need for Uniqueness Scale
Key Terms
Chapter 3 Classifications and Measures of Strengths and Positive Outcomes
Classifications and Measures of Strengths
Gallup’s Clifton StrengthsFinder
The VIA Classification of Strengths
The Search Institute’s 40 Developmental Assets
Distinguishing Among the Measures of Psychological Strength
Issues of Equivalence in Using Measures of Psychological Strength
Identifying Your Personal Strengths
Personal Mini-Experiments: Discovering and Capitalizing on Your
Strengths
The Case of Shane
Positive Outcomes for All
Dimensions of Well-Being
Toward a Better Understanding of Positive Outcomes
Identifying Strengths and Moving Toward a Vital Balance
Note
10
Key Terms
Part II Positive Psychology in Context
Chapter 4 The Role of Culture in Developing Strengths and Living Well
Culture and Psychology
Main Message: Culture Counts
Understanding Culture: A Matter of Perspective
Positive Psychology: Culture Is Everywhere
Culturally Embedded Positive Psychology Research and Practice
Personal Mini-Experiments: Culturally Embedded Daily Practice
Situating Positive Psychology
Putting Positive Psychology in a Cultural Context
Examining the Equivalence of the “Positives” to Determine What
Works
Determining the Foundations of the Good Life
Using Caution in Measuring “Universal” Strengths
The Wise Man of the Gulf
Multicultural Mindset as a Strength
Final Thoughts on the Complexity of Cultural Influences
Key Terms
Chapter 5 Living Well at Every Stage of Life
Resilience in Childhood
The Case of Jackson
What Is Resilience?
The Roots of Resilience Research
Resilience Resources
An Excerpt From Finding Strength: How To Overcome Anything
Positive Youth Development
What Is Positive Youth Development?
Positive Youth Development Programs That Work
The Life Tasks of Adulthood
The Trajectories of Precocious Children
What Are the Primary Tasks of Adulthood?
The Case of Keyonna
Successful Aging
What Is Successful Aging?
The Case of Tony
The MacArthur Foundation Study of Successful Aging
The Adult Development Study
One Man’s View of Aging
Personal Mini-Experiments: Finding Amazing People of All Ages
A More Developmental Focus in Positive Psychology
Key Terms
11
Part III Positive Emotional States and Processes
Chapter 6 The Principles of Pleasure: Understanding Positive Affect, Positive
Emotions, Happiness, and Well-Being
Defining Emotional Terms
Affect
Emotion
Happiness
Subjective Well-Being
Distinguishing the Positive and the Negative
The Positive and Negative Affect Schedule
Positive Emotions: Expanding the Repertoire of Pleasure
Personal Mini-Experiments: In Search of Joy and Lasting
Happiness
Positive Emotion Styles Linked to the Common Cold
Happiness and Subjective Well-Being: Living a Pleasurable Life
Age-Old Definitions of Happiness
Subjective Well-Being as a Synonym for Happiness
The Satisfaction With Life Scale
Determinants of Subjective Well-Being
Happiness + Meaning = Well-Being
Twenty-First-Century Definitions of Happiness
Excerpts From Authentic Happiness
Happiest American is Still Hawaiian, Jewish And Chill
Complete Mental Health: Emotional, Social, and Psychological
Well-Being
Increasing Happiness in Your Life
Moving Toward the Positive
Life Enhancement Strategies
Key Terms
Chapter 7 Making the Most of Emotional Experiences: Emotion-Focused
Coping, Emotional Intelligence, Socioemotional Selectivity, and Emotional
Storytelling
Emotion-Focused Coping: Discovering the Adaptive Potential of
Emotional Approach
The Case of a Hurricane Survivor
Emotional Intelligence: Learning the Skills That Make a Difference
Who Is Emotionally Intelligent—And Does It Matter?
Socioemotional Selectivity: Focusing in Later Life on Positive Emotions
and Emotion-Related Goals
Emotional Storytelling: The Pennebaker Paradigm as a Means of
Processing Intense Negative Emotions
Emotional Storytelling After a Traumatic Event
12
Emotions and Context
Working With Emotions to Bring About Positive Change
Personal Mini-Experiments: Making the Most of Emotions in
Everyday Life
An Emotional Balancing Act
Life Enhancement Strategies
Key Terms
Part IV Positive Cognitive States and Processes
Chapter 8 Seeing our Futures Through Self-Efficacy, Optimism, and Hope
Fascination With the Future
Being Busy Not an End in Itself
Self-Efficacy
I Think I Can, I Think I Can …
A Definition
Childhood Antecedents: Where Does Self-Efficacy Come From?
Cultural Context and Self-Efficacy
The Neurobiology of Self-Efficacy
Scales: Can Self-Efficacy Be Measured?
Self-Efficacy’s Influence in Life Arenas
The Latest Frontier: Collective Self-Efficacy
Changing Behavior Through TV Heroes
Optimism
Learned Optimism—Seligman and Colleagues
The CAVE and Predicting Baseball Outcomes
Optimism—Scheier and Carver
Hope
A Definition
Childhood Antecedents of Hope
The Neurobiology of Hope
Scales: Can Hope Be Measured?
What Hope Predicts
The Latest Frontier—Collective Hope
Hope in Our Current Times
Life Enhancement Strategies
Putting Temporal Futures in Perspective
Personal Mini-Experiments: Balancing Your Perspective on Time
Cultural Caveats About Temporal Perspective
Appendix A: A Summary of Hope Theories
Appendix B: Zimbardo Time Perspective Inventory Items
Note
Key Terms
Chapter 9 Wisdom and Courage: Characteristics of the Wise and the Brave
13
Wisdom and Courage: Two of a Kind
Wisdom Difficult to Define, Attain
Theories of Wisdom
Implicit Theories of Wisdom
Explicit Theories of Wisdom
Becoming and Being Wise
Developing Wisdom
Wise People and Their Characteristics
The Measurement of Wisdom
Benefits of Wisdom
The Neurobiology of Wisdom
Future Study of Wisdom
Theories of Courage
Implicit Theories of Courage
Malala Yousafzai’s Courage The New York Times
Amputee a Driving Force in Getting People With Disabilities
Moving
Becoming and Being Courageous
U.S. Senator John McCain’s View on Strengthening Courage—
April 2004
Courage Research
The Measurement of Courage
Relationships Between Fear and Courage
Neurological Factors in Courage
Benefits of Courage
Courage and Culture
Finding Wisdom and Courage in Daily Life
Can Courage Be Learned?
Personal Mini-Experiments: In Search of the Wisdom and
Courage of Everyday People … Including Yourself
Life Enhancement Strategies
The Value of Wisdom and Courage
Key Terms
Chapter 10 Mindfulness, Flow, and Spirituality: In Search of Optimal
Experiences
Moment-to-Moment Searches
Mindfulness: In Search of Novelty
Mindfulness as a State of Mind
Living With Mindfulness: The Women’s Heart Foundation
The Benefits of Mindfulness
Neurological Findings With Mindfulness
Cultivating Mindfulness
14
Flow: In Search of Absorption
Personal Mini-Experiments: In Search of Optimal Experiences
The Flow State
The Autotelic Personality
Cultural Comparisons and Considerations in the Flow Experience
Neurological Research on Flow
Fostering Flow and Its Benefits
New Areas of Investigation Involving Flow: Gaming and Internet
Use
Life Enhancement Strategies
Spirituality: In Search of the Sacred
The True Benefits of Spirituality?
Spirituality and Cultural Context
The Search Continues
Key Terms
Part V Prosocial Behavior
Chapter 11 Empathy and Egotism: Portals to Altruism and Gratitude
Altruism
Defining Altruism
The Egotism Motive
Forms of Egotism-Motivated Altruism
The Empathy Motive and the Empathy–Altruism Hypothesis
Correlates of Altruism
Genetic and Neural Foundations Related to Altruism Empathy
Cultural Variations in Altruism
Cultivating Altruism
Personal Mini-Experiments: Exercises in Altruism and Gratitude
Measuring Altruism
Future Directions
Gratitude
Defining Gratitude
Correlates of Gratitude
Cultural Variations in Gratitude
Cultivating Gratitude
Thanking Your Heroes
Measuring Gratitude
The Psychophysiological Underpinnings of Gratitude
The Societal Implications of Altruism and Gratitude
Empathy/Egotism and Altruism
Empathy/Egotism and Gratitude
Life Enhancement Strategies
“I Have a Dream”: Toward a Kinder, Gentler Humankind
15
Appendix A: The Helping Attitude Scale
Appendix B: The Gratitude Questionnaire—Six Items From GQ-6
Key Terms
Chapter 12 Attachment, Love, Flourishing Relationships, and Forgiveness
Infant Attachment
Personal Mini-Experiments: In Search of Love and Flourishing
Relationships
Adult Attachment Security
Love
Passionate and Companionate Aspects of Romantic Love
The Triangular Theory of Love
The Self-Expansion Theory of Romantic Love
Flourishing Relationships: A Series of Purposeful Positive Relationship
Behaviors
Building a Mindful Relationship Connection
Life Enhancement Strategies
Creating a Culture of Appreciation
A Lot of Love in the Lovemaking: Avoiding Chaos,
Relationshipwise
Capitalizing on Positive Events
Praise: Encouraging Signs
The Neurobiology of Interpersonal Connection
More on Flourishing Relationships
Future of Love
When Loves Ends
Forgiveness
Defining Forgiveness
Individual and Cultural Variations in Forgiveness
Cultivating Forgiveness
Measuring Forgiveness
The Evolutionary and Neurobiological Bases of Forgiveness
Physical Health and Forgiveness
Attachment, Love, and Forgiveness: Building a Positive Psychology of
Close Relationships
Appendix A: The Heartland Forgiveness Scale (HFS)
Appendix B: The Transgression-Related Interpersonal Motivations Scale
(TRIM)
Key Terms
Part VI Understanding And Changing Human Behavior
Chapter 13 Balanced Conceptualizations of Mental Health and Behavior
Moving Toward Balanced Conceptualizations
Our Fascination With Abnormal Behavior
16
Neglect of the Environment and of the Positive
Asking Questions: The Four-Front Approach
The Case of Michael
The Lack of a Developmental Emphasis
Normalizing Negative and Positive Behavior
The Case of Michael
Difficulties Understanding Behavior in a Cultural Context
Determining How “Culture Counts”
The Case of Michael
The Limits of the Categorical Diagnostic System
Considering New Personality Dimensions
The Case of Michael
Going Beyond the DSM-5 Framework
Attending to All Behavior
Key Terms
Chapter 14 Preventing the Bad and Promoting the Good
In the Words of a Psychotherapy Client …
Primary Prevention: “Stop the Bad Before It Happens”
Is Primary Prevention Effective?
Components of Effective Primary Preventions
Head Start: An Example of Primary Prevention
Primary Preventions for Children
Primary Preventions for the Elderly
Caveats About Primary Preventions
Secondary Prevention (Psychotherapy): “Fix the Problem”
Is Secondary Prevention Effective?
Common Components of Secondary Preventions
Secondary Prevention Programs for Adults
Secondary Preventions for Racial and Ethnic Minorities
Secondary Preventions for Children
Secondary Preventions for the Elderly
A Caveat About Secondary Preventions
Primary Enhancement: “Make Life Good”
Primary Enhancement: Psychological Health
Primary Enhancement: Physical Health
A Caveat About Primary Enhancement
Secondary Enhancement: “Make Life the Best Possible”
Secondary Enhancement: Psychological Health
Personal Mini-Experiments: Enhancing Your Daily Life
Secondary Enhancement: Physical Health
Caveats About Secondary Enhancement
The Balance of Prevention and Enhancement Systems
17
Appendix A: Effective Secondary Preventions (Psychotherapies) for Adult
Problems
Appendix B: Hope Therapy Worksheet
Key Terms
Part VII Positive Environments
Chapter 15 Positive Schooling and Good Work: The Psychology of Gainful
Employment and the Education That Gets Us There
Positive Schooling
“Teachers Can’t Get Jobs in the Real World!”
Negative Psychology: “Those Who Can’t, Shouldn’t Be Teaching”
“No Child Left Behind” and Beyond
Personal Mini-Experiments: The Power of Positive (and Negative)
Teachers
The Components of Positive Schooling
Care, Trust, and Respect for Diversity
Goals (Content)
Plans
Motivation (Plus Enlivening the Course Contents for Students)
Hope
Societal Contributions
Teaching as a Calling
2016 National Teacher of the Year: “I Was a Teenage Mom, and
Teachers Changed My Life”
Giving Back to Teachers
Gainful Employment
Gainful Employment: Happiness, Satisfaction, and Beyond
Performing Well and Meeting Goals
Deriving Purpose by Providing a Product or Service
Engagement and Involvement
Variety in Job Duties
Income for Family and Self
Companionship and Loyalty to Coworkers and Bosses: Friends at
Work
Safe Work Environments
Respect and Appreciation for Diversity in the Workplace
Having or Being a Good Boss
The Strengths-Based Approach to Work
Match People, Don’t Fix Them
The Stages of This Approach
Does It Work?
Capital at Work
Traditional Economic Capital
18
Human Capital
Social Capital
Positive Psychological Capital
The Dark Side: Workaholics, Burnouts, and Jobs Lost
Workaholics
Burnout
Losing Your Job
What Can Be Done to Improve Your Work?
Making the Job Better
Personal Mini-Experiments: Becoming Gainfully Employed
Applying for a New Job
The Power to Change
When Work Becomes a Calling: The Tale of a Hospital Orderly
The Psychology of Gainful Employment and the Education That Gets
Us There
Appendix A: Example of Positive Schooling: The StrengthsQuest
Program
Appendix B: Positive Workplaces in Hong Kong: Building Positive
Organizations, Engaging the Heart of Employees
Key Terms
Part VIII Finding Strengths in Others: Embodying Strengths in Everyday Life
Chapter 16 Remembering Shane: Real Strengths in a Real Person
“Strengths are all around you”
“Strengths are also within you”
“Strengths can be shared and borrowed”
Remembering Shane J. Lopez
Lisa M. Edwards, Marquette University
Jeana L. Magyar, University of Wisconsin, Steven’s Point
Heather Rasmussen, University of Kansas
Danny Singley, The Center for Men’s Excellence
Ryon McDermott, University of Alabama
Cynthia Pury, Clemson University
Kevin Rand, Indiana University–Purdue University Indianapolis
Connie Clifton Rath, Gallup
Barbara L. Fredrickson, University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill
Sarah Pressman, University of California, Irvine
Kristin Koetting O’Byrne, Abilene Christian University
Matt Englar-Carlson, California State University, Fullerton
Brian Cole, University of Kansas
Matthew Gallagher, University of Houston
Jennifer Teramoto Pedrotti, California Polytechnic State
University
19
References
Glossary of Key Terms
Author Index
Subject Index
20
Preface
For many of you, this is your first educational foray into the field of positive psychology.
We are privileged to introduce you to this work. If your life is in some small way improved
by reading the following pages, it will have made our efforts more than worthwhile.
In these pages, we introduce you to the growing field of positive psychology. We have
borrowed from the therapy and research efforts of many outstanding psychologists, and we
thank them for their pioneering contributions. So, too, do we thank our clients, our
students, and our colleagues (Kaylene Co, Brian Cole, Lisa Edwards, Lindsey Hammond,
Zachary Kasow, Molly Lowe, Jeana Magyar, Phil McKnight, Allison Newlee, Ryan Reed,
Jennifer Reimer, Melinda Roberts, and Brian Werter) who have assisted in various editions
of this textbook. Over the years, they have taught us as much about positive psychology as
we have taught them. Much gratitude also goes to those folks who believed that college
students needed a real positive psychology textbook. Our marvelous editors, Lara Parra and
Reid Hester; the entire team at SAGE; and our supportive agents at Studio B all thought
the world would be a better place if students continued to learn about positive psychology.
We have sampled the various areas of positive psychology and have included exercises to
help you to experience many of these new concepts. In Part I, titled “Looking at
Psychology From a Positive Perspective,” we group three chapters together. We begin with
Chapter 1 (“Welcome to Positive Psychology”) and introduce you to the field. In Chapter
2, we explore the Eastern and Western backgrounds of the field and ideas about blending
our ME and WE styles. Next, in Chapter 3 (“Classifications and Measures of Strengths and
Positive Outcomes”), we explain the attempts to categorize various topics in the field.
In Part II, titled “Positive Psychology in Context,” we discuss the roles of emotions in a
positive life. In Chapter 4 (“The Role of Culture in Developing Strengths and Living
Well”), we examine the role of cultural factors in determining what is positive. In Chapter
5 (“Living Well at Every Stage of Life”), we trace the development of human strengths.
Part III, “Positive Emotional States and Processes,” comprises two chapters. In Chapter 6,
“The Principles of Pleasure: Understanding Positive Affect, Positive Emotions, Happiness,
and Well-Being,” we discuss what has been learned about emotions and happiness. And in
Chapter 7, “Making the Most of Emotional Experiences: Emotion-Focused Coping,
Emotional Intelligence, Socioemotional Selectivity, and Emotional Storytelling,” we reveal
recent findings on how emotions can contribute positively to effective coping in life.
Part IV, “Positive Cognitive States and Processes,” contains three chapters. Chapter 8
(“Seeing Our Futures Through Self-Efficacy, Optimism, and Hope”) covers the most
powerful positive cognitive and motivational states. Then, in Chapter 9 (“Wisdom and
21
Courage: Characteristics of the Wise and the Brave”), we introduce findings about people
at their best under sometimes difficult circumstances. And in Chapter 10 (“Mindfulness,
Flow, and Spirituality: In Search of Optimal Experiences”), we detail the latest findings on
the power of mental processes in relation to self and higher forces.
Part V is titled “Prosocial Behavior.” In this portion of the book, we examine interpersonal
matters. In Chapter 11 (“Empathy and Egotism: Portals to Altruism and Gratitude”) and
Chapter 12 (“Attachment, Love, Flourishing Relationships, and Forgiveness”), we show
how human ties improve the quality of life.
In Part VI, “Understanding and Changing Human Behavior,” we give insights into
improving one’s life in Chapter 13 (“Balanced Conceptualizations of Mental Health and
Behavior”) and Chapter 14 (“Preventing the Bad and Promoting the Good”).
In Part VII, “Positive Environments,” we describe how school and work (Chapter 15,
“Positive Schooling and Good Work: The Psychology of Gainful Employment and the
Education That Gets Us There”) work together to contribute to a more productive,
happier life.
22
What’s New in This Edition
New examples and reflections on current events throughout the text make
information more relevant to our current times. For example, we look at research and
statistics regarding the effects of the poor economy on rates of volunteerism and new
applications of resilience, optimism, and other constructs regarding dealing with job
loss and coping with family members who are away at war.
Personal Mini-Experiments and Life Enhancement Strategies have been updated in
many chapters to help students from all backgrounds broaden and enhance their
inherent and learned strengths.
New organization of some chapters, including moving the topic of Forgiveness from
Chapter 11 to Chapter 12 because of better coordination of topics, including adding
a section entitled “When Love Ends” to better facilitate a balanced discussion of this
topic.
Chapter 16 offers a real-life example of positive psychology in an extended
memoriam due to the death of my coauthor while writing this book: “Remembering
Shane: Real Strengths in a Real Person.”
Additional revisions and updates incorporated throughout the text include the following:
23
strengths in this country today
New applications of mindfulness in a variety of populations
Online supplementary resources for instructors and students are available on the
companion website at study.sagepub.com/lopez4e. The password-protected Instructor
Resources Site includes a test bank and PowerPoint slides, while the open-access Student
Study Site includes flashcards and quizzes for practice.
The completion of this book was fraught with emotion, as we lost Shane J. Lopez partway
through its completion. I hope you will benefit from his words in these pages. He lives on
in the work here and elsewhere in his many contributions to the field of positive
psychology. Thank you for honoring his memory by reading this book.
—J. T. P.
24
Remembering Shane J. Lopez
This book is dedicated to the memory of my mentor and friend, Shane J. Lopez, who died
on July 23, 2016. I first met Shane at the University of Kansas, in Bailey Hall, my first
week as a doctoral student in the Counseling Psychology program there. I didn’t know
until a bit later that it was his first week too–though as an assistant professor. Shane had
graduated just the year before in 1998 from the same program, and his giftedness and
potential had long been recognized by his professors, who readily welcomed him as a
colleague. From the first lecture he gave in class, I could tell that he was someone who
would teach me a multitude of ideas. I didn’t yet know he would mentor me through my
graduate school years, through graduation and my own job search for an academic position,
through negotiating a job offer, through promotion and tenure, through book contracts,
and more. I didn’t know how much he would teach me about life, and how to balance
many things, but to always make the most time for family.
Shane often talked about people’s “signature strengths” and mentioned them to us often.
That was one of his signature strengths—building others up, helping them to recognize and
to use their abilities in ways they hadn’t yet explored, and always encouraging us to be our
best selves. When I gave one of the eulogies at his funeral, I shared a memory of him that I
will always cherish that occurred the day I received notification of my tenure at Cal Poly
State University, San Luis Obispo. When he answered the phone and I said, “Guess what?”
he knew what I was going to say and he said, “Wait! Wait! Let me sit down, I want to really
listen to this! OK—go! Start from the beginning.” I told him that I had gotten my letter
and that I had been tenured and he said, “OK, but start from the beginning!” and
proceeded to ask me question after question: “Where were you when you knew the letter
was waiting for you in your mailbox? What did you think it said? Did you know? What was
your first thought just after you read it?” And I found myself getting so much more excited
about the accomplishment as I told him the answers, building the experience into a story,
savoring each moment of the success. At the end, he sighed happily and said, “I’m so proud
of you, Jennifer.” He was wonderful at taking time to savor the good, and he passed that on
as often as he could. He was my favorite person to tell when anything good happened.
But Shane was also really good at helping when things were not so great and when positive
psychology seemed far from one’s mind. I remember a difficult professional situation at one
time in my career and I called him to ask for advice, hoping he might give me some magical
suggestion that would solve the problem for me. He listened to me carefully, he validated
my emotion over the situation, and he made it clear he thought I had handled it well up to
that point. And then he asked me a question that I have asked myself over and over, in a
number of different situations since: How do you want to feel when you look back on this
situation? That question cleared the way for me, allowed me to see my own solution and to
25
make a plan to move forward that took me in the direction I wanted to go. Shane never
magically solved my problems or anyone’s, but he was magic in the way he imbued you
with the ability to do it yourself. That is the essence of sharing your strengths with others,
and he embodied it fully.
When Shane asked me to join this book many years ago, for the second edition, it was
because we had just lost C. R. “Rick” Snyder, who died just before the first edition was
released. Rick was Shane’s mentor and friend, and he was devastated to lose him. In that
second edition, he struggled to edit the text, having a hard time being surrounded by Rick’s
words as he worked on the book. I find myself in the same place with this edition.
As I moved through revising this text, however, being surrounded by Shane’s words was
also a comfort in some way. A way to be close to his memory and to spend time thinking
about the things he taught me and to reflect on how I might pass them along. The main
conclusion I have come to is that though he left this earth much too soon, he leaves us with
more than words but also with ideas, thoughts, inspiration, and lessons. Though I miss him
daily, I hear him whispering through the pages of this book, continuing to teach anyone
who opens the cover. I hope you can hear him too.
—J. T. P.
26
Another random document with
no related content on Scribd:
Some four or five weeks had passed quietly over the heads
of our friends since the events recorded in our last chapter.
Jack had made more than one journey to Holford to visit his
uncle and Arthur, between whom and himself had grown up
a warm and intimate friendship. This friendship, though
approved by Sir John, was not viewed with altogether
favorable eyes either by my lady or Master Lucas. My lady,
though she acknowledged the obligations of the family to
Jack, nevertheless thought it rather beneath her son's
dignity to be so familiar with the son of a citizen; and
Master Lucas, who was fully as proud in his way as my lady
was in hers, did not like to have Jack visit at a house where
he was likely to be looked upon as a presumptuous intruder.
"If it had been my son who had done such a thing, I would
never see him more."
"I do not see the treachery," said Anne. "If he warned his
sister beforehand what he was going to do, in case she
persisted in her error as you call it, she had no cause of
complaint. His duty as a Christian stood before his duty to
his family, or any other carnal and fleshly ties. I think he did
right," said Anne, flushing as she spoke. "I do not see how
he could do otherwise."
"I beg, Jack, that you will not interfere," said Anne, who
seemed bent upon raising a storm. "It does not become you
to meddle. Let my father say his will."
"Well, I don't wish Master Arthur any ill, but I wish he and
our Jack were not so intimate," remarked Cicely. "The next
thing we shall have Jack, himself, infected with Lutheran
notions. They say Father William has come round to be an
out-and-out Gospeller, and is all for having folk read the
Scripture for themselves. Not that I see why the Gospellers
are to be blamed for that," added Cicely simply. "Because,
of course, if it were the true Bible, the more they read it,
the more devout Catholics they would be."
"Father William has been nothing else but a heretic this long
time," said Anne angrily. "I am glad if he has at last had
honesty enough to confess it."
"All will yet be well," returned Sister Barbara. "It cannot but
be well if we are only faithful; but I doubt we shall see
terrible times first. Let us pray for one another that our
faith fail not in the fiery trial."
"I have been suspecting as much, this long time," said he.
"Ever since your return from Holford, I could not but see
that you were greatly changed and improved—yes, I will
say improved. But to think that you should have heard all
this from Uncle Thomas. Truly, one never knows where
danger lies. Had I been told to select a safe place for a lad,
I could not have thought of a better one."
"Did you not, then, know the story of his father?" asked
Jack.
"Your secret has not been so well kept but I have had a
shrewd guess at it," said his father, smiling somewhat
sadly; "but I waited till you should tell it me yourself, as I
felt quite sure you would do, sooner or later. But, my son,
have you counted the cost? You know to what all this may
lead."
"Nay, dear son, be not grieved for that," said his father
kindly. "I see not but a man must follow his conscience
wherever it leads. Neither can I see why the priests should
so angrily oppose the reading of the Scripture."
"If you should read it yourself, you would see," replied Jack.
"There is not one word in the whole New Testament about
the worship of the Holy Virgin, nor of purgatory, nor vows of
chastity, nor a hundred other things which the priests teach
us to believe. St. Peter himself was married, and so were
St. James, and St. Philip."
"But the priests say this Lutheran Gospel is not the true
Scripture," remarked his father.
"I know they do, and for that reason they discourage with
all their might the Greek learning that is spreading so much
at the universities. But, father, the Greek Testament is the
very same."
"And nothing about purgatory or about the masses for the
dead, either?" asked his father. "Art sure, Jack?"
"Only read for yourself, dear sir, and you see," said Jack.
Jack told his father, as she had desired him, the story of
Sister Barbara. Perturbed in mind as he was, Master Lucas
was considerably amused.
"I think I could bear all, if I had it to bear alone," said Jack.
"It is that which has made the cross so heavy to me. But,
father, you would not have me false to my conscience, and
traitor to my friends, like the man Arthur told us of?"
"My son, I cannot help having great fears for her. I would
she were in some place of safety. I should miss her sorely
from the house, that is the truth, for she is like sunshine
itself."
"I will talk to Father William about the matter," said Jack. "I
will go to him this very evening. Dear father, I am so glad I
have told you all, and that you are not angry with me."
"I could not be angry, son Jack, though I do not deny that I
am greatly grieved. I would fain spend the remnant of my
days in peace. Not but I would gladly see the Church
reformed, and especially some order taken with all these
lazy monks and begging friars, who eat honest, industrious
folks out of house and home, and carry off silly girls to
convents; but I fear your friends are too sweeping. I cannot
bring myself to believe that so much we have been taught
to receive as Gospel truth is no more than men's invention."
"I cannot think that Anne would betray me, for all she
says," he added.
"I do not know," said Master Lucas, shaking his head. "Anne
is a true nun. She thinks all family affections are carnal and
fleshly ties, and to be trampled under foot. I cannot—I will
not think of your mother's daughter, that she would do such
a deed, but I hope she may not be tried. But after all, we
may be borrowing trouble. Father William makes no secret
of his new ideas, nor does Arthur Brydges of his, and I hear
my Lord Harland is as open, and he is very great with the
bishop. Anyhow, I wish we were well out of the scrape."
CHAPTER XIX.
A SORROWFUL PARTING.
Jack found him sitting at his frugal supper table, not eating,
but leaning back in his chair; and he could not but remark
how worn and thin the good man looked.
"They are but rustic folk," said the priest, "and, though of
gentle blood, far behind our town burghers in refinement
and luxury. Sister Barbara must be content to rough it not a
little, but that is a small matter. Any home, however rude, is
better than a prison."
"I care nothing for roughing it," she said; "the good father
well says that any home is better than a prison, and
doubtless I can find ways to make myself useful to the lady
and her daughters."
"And if this storm blows over, as I still hope it may, you will
return to us, dear madam," said Master Lucas. "Truly the
house will seem empty and dreary without you. Meantime,
let no word of this matter be dropped in the household—
before Anne, least of all."
"Yes, if the poor man have any breath left to speak," said
Jack, as he threw himself hastily from his own beast. "I
should think that doubtful."
"Well, we must give him all the welcome and refreshment in
our power," said the master baker, dismounting more
leisurely. "Your reverence is heartily welcome to my poor
dwelling," he added, addressing the poor old priest, who
had dropped exhausted on the first seat. "I would we had
been at home to receive you in more fitting form. I pray you
to walk into the parlor."
The old man rose with some difficulty, and, accepting the
support of Master Lucas's arm, he made out to walk into the
sitting-room. Jack ran before to bring forward the easiest
seat and place a footstool before it, and then to bring a cup
of ale, which Father John drank without a word.
"Alack, you may well say so. I did not believe I should ever
ride so far again—and it is all for your sake. I would I were
safe home again, that is all. These vile footpads would as
soon rob a priest as a layman, I believe, and I am shaken to
a very jelly."
"It is well," said Father John; "but yet we will speak low. My
business is this: Father Barnaby has returned from his
travels somewhat suddenly, and, it is said, with
extraordinary powers from the Cardinal, to search out
heretical books, and apprehend the owners thereof."
"But you must not say so, for the world, my dear son," said
Father John hastily. "Remember, I am not supposed to know
anything of this matter, and have come to consult your
father on the investing of certain moneys left me by my
brother, lately dead. I would not hear a word—supposing
there were any such thing to hear—lest I should be called
on to testify. Do you understand?"