LIFE OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT

Things I Wish I knew When I was 30

nbatra1960@gmail.com

A few years ago I crossed a social milestone when I turned 60. However
the import of that number dawned a little later. Reality sunk in slowly
but inevitably-I was on the other side of 60 now. I could not believe how
quickly the years had melted by although I believe and feel that I am 30-
ish in the way I think. In some ways my life had literally passed by in a
flash. Sixty years don’t they just go in a blink! I could not get a chance to
relish or enjoy them as much as I should have. So call it Life’s Rubric or
just advice from my own life to navigate your Life better. Here are 7
earthy insights with just one caveat- never stop using your head but
always follow your heart.

Insight 1: Don’t waste time being a Perfectionist.

Don’t seek perfection in life or from the people who surround you. This
is the perfect recipe to heartburn and stress. Accept chaos and be
tolerant with mediocrity. Don’t be overcritical of your loved ones. You
will be the happier for it. Life is rarely fair or linear so don’t brood about
that. It’s usually grey and seldom black or white. I struggled to
overcome this one for a really long time.

Insight 2: Business is Personal.

Don’t let them tell you otherwise. Do What You Love. We spend more
time at our workplace than we do with our family members. All this
mumbo jumbo about separate professional and personal interface is just
MBA jargon. It’s a pedantic mousetrap. Make your Business personal.
You must respect and enjoy working with the people- clients and peers
that you work with. In many ways that is more important than several
other criteria of our work place. I was lucky to master this very early in
my Life. I have tried to avoid working with people I don't respect or like.

Insight 3: Stop making 5 year Plans.

We all know who makes 5 year plans and the fate of such plans. It’s a
pedestrian exercise. John Lennon once said, “Life is what happens when
you are busy making plans.” There is a fair amount of merit in the
phrase Analysis paralysis. Please don’t over plan your work or

life. Above all don’t lose spontaneity. A conditioned mind is the nemesis
of creativity and lateral thinking. I feel you invariably miss the forest
for the trees when you focus on the long term. It’s always better to
travel than to arrive. Remember in the long run we are all dead :)

Insight 4: Wisdom is well so... Passe.

We are all expected to get wiser as we get older. However our society has
bound wisdom in a very narrow definition. One that I have always
avoided. Wisdom should never be about wearing masks, procrastination,
controlling every impulse and reaction and being politically correct.
This is a shallow corporate mantra at best. So let me recommend this -
retain the child in you. Don’t lose your innocence, curiosity, excitement
or even petulance. Above all be impulsive at times. And by the way
never restrain a generous impulse.

Insight 5: Life begins outside your comfort zone.

Sometimes routine can overwhelm your life to an extent that you forget
where you came from and where you are going. Someone once said the
only difference between being in a grave and a rut is the depth. I believe
that. Learn or do one thing that you fear every month. Your skill is not
the purpose of your life. Follow your passion and remember that passion
trumps ability all the time. You need to explore the width and depth of
this life and everything it offers. Suck the marrow out of what it offers.

Insight 6: An Easy One - Stay Happy.

I think Chad Michael Murray said this in an episode of One Tree Hill
“Happy looks good on you” Well happy is not just about smiling. It's more
of what I call an internal sunshine thing. We spend way too much time,
like clever politicians, trying to please everyone. Discover your
relationship with yourself first. You can’t make anyone else happy
unless you are happy yourself. Be self-serving to that extent and
embrace selfishness as a virtue. You will be happier for it. Although I'm
not too sure about the people around you. The man I trust least is the
one who says I am doing this for others.

Insight 7: Get a Life.

Discover the joy of your internal world. Fall in love, explore the joys of
indolence and nothingness. Simon and Garfunkel captured this
beautifully recommending " Slow down you move too fast, you gotcha
make the morning last, just kicking down the cobble stones feeling
groovy...." The quality of our life can improve equally by adding meaning
to it and not perpetually accelerating it. We need to experience this
stillness. We need to experience the emptiness. Make your life ...last.

We live in a world vitiated by micro bytes and wi-fi. It’s a synthetic

Teflon-coated world where we buy happiness with plastic and emote
electronically. Don’t let it ever get to your soul. If you can, try to express
yourself. Always express your love. Especially to your parents. They will
be gone before you know it. Trust me on this one. Our deepest regrets
are not about what we say or do but about what we did not say and did
not do.

Finally stop running in the rat race. There is a good reason it’s called a
rat race ! Don't worry about the others. The man in the mirror is your
only competitor. So live life like a game of golf and find your sweet spot
early in life. Be competitive with your own self and work on your own
handicap. Do try for a Hole in one but play percentage golf as often as
you can. And always be aware that it’s all about being on the early
morning greens. So enjoy your drive as much as the game. Live your life
with a sense of gratitude.