Copyright © 2020 by Pumza Shabangu

All rights reserved

Published by Akwande Publishing
pumzas@gmail.com
Facebook : Pumza Mfubu Shabangu
Twitter : @Pumza_Shabangu
Insta : @pumzashabs

ISBN : 978-0-620-89081-6(e-book)
ISBN : 978-0-620-89080-9(print)
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or
by electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and
retrieval systems, without the written permission from the author, except for
the brief quotations in a book review.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either
are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any
resemblance to the actual person, living or dead, business establishments,
events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Copyright and Trademark Acknowledgments
Spur

Editor : Thembi Mazibuko

Cover : Kumbirai Muchirahondo
Layout : Boutique Books

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 Also by Pumza Shabangu :

Unspoken Truth (M/M romance)

Ravaged Souls (M/M and F/M romance)
The author has books on Kindle Amazon and a Facebook page where she
writes : Stories by Pumza Shabangu.
All the author’s books are intended for adult readers

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 Trigger warning

Sexual Assault
Childhood trauma
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 PROLOGUE

“Mnyamanana!” my aunt’s shrill voice pierced through my

overheating shack, as I lay battling with the anxiety of the upcoming matric

results. I ignored the call for a few seconds, I knew she wouldn’t come into
my room lest she catches whatever disease they fear I carried. “Phuma

wena ngane kulowo mkhukhu, silambile.” I waited for her supporting cast,
my cousins, to hit me with their usual taunts, but none came. Strange. Truth

be told, I didn’t have the energy to face them and their tormenting words
that morning.
I reserved my strength for the outcome of the matric result and how
I would get to them. I worked hard with what little time I had, even though
my family tried their best to thwart my efforts. They piled up chores for me
and made sure I had no time to do anything else.
“Ndoniyamanzi!” she sounded more agitated this time and I let out a
chuckle. She didn’t get to me. Nothing they did or said got to me anymore. I
needed to go to the orphanage to see Sis Dudu. She would have the results
waiting for me, I just knew. She was the only adult who ever cared for my
wellbeing. I waited to hear the taunts and usual mocking from my cousins,
but still, nothing happened. It was unusually quiet, and that raised my
suspicions. I got off the makeshift bed, already dressed, and straightened the
bed cover. I had been ready since dawn.
 I found my aunt and uncle sitting in the lounge watching the
morning news on TV. My cousins were nowhere in sight. They might have
still been sleeping; no one ever bothered the two beauties when they slept. I
mumbled my greetings and didn’t wait for the response as I walked through
to the kitchen. There was a pile of dishes in the sink and yet I had left the
kitchen spotless before I went to bed the previous night. I didn’t complain. I
boiled the kettle to prepare for my aunt’s morning tea, then a full breakfast
would follow.
Time seemed to go in slow motion and yet I was moving at
lightning speed. When I finished serving my masters, I tidied up the house
and made sure all was in order before I dashed off to the orphanage. My
heart was in my throat by the time I arrived. It could’ve been because of the
sprinting I had just done or the fear of what the morning paper would say. I
burst through the house without even knocking and Sis Dudu's only show of
surprise was the smile on her face.
“I’ve been expecting you earlier than this.” The warmth in her tone
soothed my galloping heartbeat.
“I had to do my chores first, you know how it is. How did I do? Is my
student number in there?” The words came out in a rush, still trying to catch
my breath.
“Calm down child and come take a seat.” She patted the space
beside her. I clumsily sat next to her, my eyes wide with expectation. Her
face turned serious as she handed me the newspaper. I felt a rush of cold in
the pit of my stomach. My shaking hand stretched out to take the newspaper
from her. I didn’t feel as brave as I had felt before. This paper here could
very well carry news that could set me for life or doom me to this
godforsaken place forever. I could feel the sweat trickle down my back, the
cotton dress I was wearing chafing uncomfortably and doing nothing to
bring me much-needed relief.
The shaking became worse as I hurriedly turn the pages to the result
section. Everything was a blur; I opened my eyes wider to concentrate. I felt
a warm hand steady mine, and I looked up to find Sis Dudu looking at me,
her eyes reassuring. The warmth of her hand spread throughout my cold
veins and I felt calmer.
“Relax, it will be okay.” I tried to smile, but my heart was still thudding
hard against my chest.
Her reassuring face reminded me of the day I first met her. They had
sent me to our local supermarket to buy a few things when on my way out I
saw a lady struggling with two trolleys overflowing with groceries. She
seemed kind, and I offered to help. As I helped her to push one trolley to her
car, I asked her why she had so many groceries. She told me about the
orphanage she had founded and where it was located. I promised I would
visit.
The first few times I went to the orphanage after my chores on
Saturdays, I would get a beating when I came back. They wanted to know
where I had been. Funny thing is that Zinhle and Thabile could come and
go as they pleased, and no one ever questioned them. I continued to go
despite the hidings and eventually; they gave up. That was the only place I
felt accepted. It felt like one big family. The kids were so full of life and
hope amidst their hardships. They were dealing with so many challenges,
and yet they were cheerful. The orphanage survived on donations and
volunteers. Hence, I also wanted to offer my services.
Sis Dudu never had kids of her own, but she treated all the kids with
motherly love. I wished she could've been my mother. There were kids
abandoned from birth − no one knew where their parents were – while
others were orphans because of their parents dying soon after they were
born. She got some kids adopted. But people avoided adopting older kids.
They preferred small babies and to know the parents’ history. That was
sometimes difficult where these kids were concerned.
Over time Sis Dudu became my cheerleader. She kept pushing me to
pull through. Even when I thought I couldn’t carry on. She made me see
that I alone could get myself out of this place. I shook my head to get rid of
the memories while taking a huge breath. I couldn’t see clearly as I
searched for my examination number. The number was blurry at first, then
slowly became clear.
“I passed Sis Dudu.” It came out as a whisper. “I’ve got a bachelor’s
degree!” My voice rose, flinging my arms around her. She squeezed me
harder, telling me how proud she was of me, how she knew I would make it
and that I was destined for great things. She said it with such conviction and
reverence it sounded like a prayer.
My mind went back to a time in my life I thought of killing myself
and ending it all. But then the fear of the unknown overrode all of that,
including the will to live and make something of myself. This became my
fuel. I needed to prove my naysayers wrong. I needed to prove to myself
that God existed, and he was just preparing me for something bigger. If I
had killed myself, then I would have been nothing but that girl who killed
herself. I never wanted to be remembered for that. When we let go of each
other we were both in tears.
“Thank you so much, Sis Dudu, for everything you’ve done for me.
I couldn’t have done this without you,” I told her as we hugged one more
time that day, by her gate. She nodded her head and kissed my forehead. I
walked away as if I was floating on a cloud. I couldn’t help but think what
my parents would have said were they still alive.
Memories of them came flooding in as I walked back home. I
remembered how our lives used to be when I was younger. We lived in a
small town called Vryheid, in KwaZulu Natal. My parents, Nomusa and
Siboniseni Zwane, used to tell me they named me Ndoniyamanzi because
of the colour of my skin. They both died when I was six years old. No, it
wasn’t an accident. My father kicked the bucket first. From what I have
been told, he was quite the ladies’ man.
This hasn’t been frowned upon in my culture for some time. It only
proved the virility of a man, but if a woman did it, then they were shunned
by the same society. I digress. He provided for us, of course. I fondly
remember the family holidays and I have photos stashed under my
makeshift bed as evidence. It’s one of the few belongings I have of them.
We lived in a pleasant suburb in Vryheid. Even the pictures of our old home
can attest to the fact that I had a good life.
As much as my father had provided for us, he was also the source of
our misery. He died first, and on his deathbed, only then my mother found
out he was HIV positive and had already infected her. I received this
information in a letter my mother wrote to me. It was not a long letter, just
her warning me against men. Telling me about their cruelty and that love
was overrated. The lawyers kept it to hand over to me on my eighteenth
birthday, but I found out their cause of death long before receiving the
letter.
Having found out that she was sick, and the stigma attached to this
virus, she couldn’t cope. I believe she also lost her will to live. That's my
polite way of calling her selfish. When she got sick two months after my
father passed, it didn’t take long for her to succumb to death a few months
later. That left me orphaned with no siblings. From there on, the only
relative I had was my aunt Nompendulo. She was my father’s younger
sister, whom I had only ever met a few times when I was younger.
Apparently, she and my father never got along. I wasn’t to know that until a
few years later after staying with them.
Immediately after the funeral she packed all my belongings and took
me with her and her husband Mandla Jiyane, who was commonly referred
to using his clan name Magolwane. They lived in Njula Street Bhekuzulu
location. That is where I have spent a significant chunk of my young life.
Well, I still remember how quiet it was after my mother’s funeral
and my aunt who helped to take care of her when she was sick, telling me I
will never come back to that house again. She hadn’t been kind about
telling me; there was almost a look of satisfaction on her face. That was the
only place I knew as my home. I, however, never had much to say. What
would a six-year-old have to say in that situation, anyway? Throw a
tantrum, hold on to the rails of the veranda? She simply nodded her head
and followed the adults. They knew best. I remember uncle Mandla driving
us to their home in my father’s car. When I arrived that is when I met my
cousins for the first time. My aunt has two daughters, Zinhle who is a year
older than me then Thabile, who is the same age as me.
“Hau ma. Ngama kwekwere na labantu? Are these people foreigners? Why
does she look so dark? People will laugh at us. She is so ugly.” I later found
out it was Zinhle who had said these words. Light-skinned and beautiful
with her perfect relaxed hair tied in a bun. As young as I was, I felt the
sting.
“Bazobona ukuthi akuyona ingane yam le. Niyazibona nani ukuthi ninjani.
Wohlukile ngempela la kini. Anyone can tell that she is not my child, she is
quite different from you. Take her to Thabile’s room.” The room was a nice,
pink decorated room with all the girly stuff. I was told to sit in the room
until they called me for supper. I remember starving and needing to pee, but
I was too scared to even move from that space they had left me in, I ended
up peeing myself.
When they saw me in that state, I received the first beating of my
life. Then I was told that misbehaving kids didn’t get food. That meant I
had to go to bed on an empty stomach. That was the end of life as I knew it
and the beginning of my misery. I knew then what misbehaving was and the
consequences thereof.
I shared the room with Thabile until I was twelve. Then she started
complaining that I had an unpleasant odour and she couldn’t share a room
with me anymore. I couldn’t mention that the bad odour was because I
didn’t have any toiletries to use. Since there were only three bedrooms in
the house the only option was for me to clear the storage room outside
made from zinc sheets to sleep in. After I took out all the junk in there, I fit
in an old mattress, that is all they could provide for a bed. I had saved an
old dressing table from the stored items and my two suitcases from when I
moved in. I was also told that I could no longer bathe in the house with hot
water as that would waste the electricity. The clothes I wore were hand-me-
downs from either Zinhle or Thabile. As a result, I only ever had worn
shoes and sometimes torn clothes depending on the condition they were in
when they gave them to me. My shack was freezing when it was cold and
too hot when it was hot. What I liked about it was that I got to have my
space. The blessing was that there were no leaks when it rained. I even
blocked out the sound of raindrops on the roof when it was the rainy season,
it became my lullaby.
I went to a local government primary school, and I also started late.
My aunt and uncle made me stay at home for two years before enrolling me
in primary school. My saving grace in having the proper uniform was that
the school complained about it. The school then registered me for the
government grant, and my aunt didn’t have a choice but to comply. Another
blessing was that I didn’t have to attend the same school as my cousins
because they went to a private school. That meant no hand-me-down
uniform and secondly, I was spared from their scorn and ridicule during the
day. I only had to endure it after school and on weekends.
 This didn’t mean that the other kids from the community didn’t
ridicule me. Two things were the bane of my existence: my skin tone and
my parents’ HIV status. I am very dark and have been called a foreigner
most of my life. As you know in our society, the darker the uglier. My
school days were a torment. The kids called me ‘umnyamana’. And when
my cousins found out, they thought it funny and brought the name home.
Even the teachers never paid attention to me. When you are as dark as me
it’s as if you’ll contaminate the rest of humankind. They treated me like I
was the spawn of the devil himself. Regarding my parents’ status, everyone
kind of assumed that I had been born with HIV; it didn’t help that I was
skinny. No one ever corrected them, of course. The people that were
supposed to do that were the ones that were perpetuating the rumours, my
supposed family. I think they believed that I had the virus and believed that
I might infect them, hence they never allowed me to share the bathtub with
them. Yes, that’s how deep their ignorance runs. So, I used a basin for that
purpose.
By the age of twelve, I already knew how to cook, clean and iron.
Those were my chores. Every morning I had to wake up, prepare breakfast
for the two princesses, iron their uniform, polish their shoes, and prepare
their lunch. To avoid being late, I had to wake up at half-past four every
morning. I would prepare myself and then prepare for them. After school, I
had to clean, cook supper, and wash the dishes.
Weekends were for spring cleaning. That left me with only evenings
to study and do my homework. No one checked, no one cared, but I did.
Somehow, I knew that education was my way out of the hellhole. Even in
my young mind, I knew I was in hell. The neighbours were as cruel as the
rest of my family was. Don’t get me started on the local church folk. I was
an example and consequence of infidelity. Yes, I heard the whispers from
the church ladies.
As I grew older, I wanted to find out about my parents’ house and if
they never left me any money. I learned that my aunt and uncle sold my
home because I financially depended on them and they had become my
guardians. That meant they received a monthly stipend. I also realised it
would have been enough to put me through school and afford me the nice
things in life. Clearly, I was never meant for those things.
High school was worse than primary. The bullying at school never
stopped, instead it got worse. I had a very thick afro that was even difficult
to comb. It was that or shave my head bald. I wasn’t that brave. I didn’t
have toiletries, so I used Vaseline and the green bar soap to wash with and
use it as a deodorant. Fortunately, at school, they supplied us with pads. I
only found out when I first went on my period and didn’t know what to do.
What they taught us in school didn’t prepare me enough for the
actual event. I used a piece of cloth as a pad, and that was the biggest
mistake. I had an overflow. The embarrassment I suffered that day. Well, I
can’t really say it was the worst, but it was up there, maybe top three. That's
when my class teacher at the time informed me that there was a stash in the
staff room for some of us who didn’t have at home.
I pushed through high school by sheer will and determination. As
hard as it was for me to study. I made time for my books. I wanted to get
out of that place and go somewhere and be someone. They had called me
ugly and stupid all my life to a point where I made peace with it. I accepted
the fact that I was ugly, but I never accepted that I was stupid.
A distant hooter startled me out of my trip down memory lane. Taxis
had no sense of privacy, anytime they saw a pedestrian they had to hoot. A
smile touched my lips when I thought of my earlier good news. As the
bright sun rose high in the sky, the heat intensified. I could feel rivulets of
sweat caressing my back. My excitement became a soothing balm against
the heat. Wheels turned as I remembered the bursary I had conditionally
received, to attend the Nelson Mandela University in Port Elizabeth to
study the Bachelor of Architectural Studies. Since I was young, buildings
and their designs had fascinated me. I had piles of drawings I did in my
little spare time. The bursary would cover tuition, accommodation, and
books. There was no money for clothes and toiletries. That meant I would
need a part-time job. I didn’t mind working; I was used to working hard.
My life had prepared me for moments like those.

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 Zero caution in The Windy City
niversity life was hectic for me. Nobody saw me. I was invisible to
U those around me and I preferred it that way. No one noticed how I was
lacking in certain areas. No one noticed that I only had three pairs of
jeans and one pair of non-branded sneakers. No one noticed that I only ate
at the canteen because that’s where I could get the food for free. I kept my
hair in either neat cornrows, straight back or up and box braids. Those were
the cheapest hairstyles I could afford. I also could afford basic toiletries and
a cheap phone. Not that I had a many people to call.
I had found myself a part-time job working as a waitress at one of
the local restaurants from 5 pm to 10 pm from Thursdays to Sundays. That
meant no social life for me. It also meant I had some savings in my bank
account. Yes, I had a bank account that I had to hide every time I went
home. I still went home. One might I ask why. They were the only family I
knew, and I was not ready to be all alone in the world.
I was never good at making friends. Throughout my childhood and
teenage years, I had no friends because I was forever at home. Those that I
would have considered friends were always the first to turn back and join in
my ridicule. In university, I was wary of making friends. I knew I lacked in
looks; therefore, I didn’t want a broken heart when the people around me
always got compliments or given attention. I had a roommate, Lelethu from
George. She was very outspoken and out there. She was never around
much, so that gave me time to myself which I preferred over anyone's
company. She tried a few times to get me to go out partying with her, but I
always refused. Where would I even start? It was the perfect excuse when I
had a job that kept me busy on weekends. It meant I hardly saw her. During
the week, I think she slept over at her boyfriend’s place. He was a senior
who had his private room in the residence.
When I went home, my cousins were not doing anything. They
didn’t look as pretty as I made them out to be. I guess being exposed to the
city girls in university kind of changed my perspective a little. They were
still beautiful though, and they carried themselves in a way that made me
feel that I was the ugly duckling. I had learned to zone them out. When I
was back home, my routine of being an unpaid maid never changed. At
least this time around, I would look forward to schools reopening.
Two years went by fast. I was still working part time, and it was
taking a strain on me. I hadn’t realised how demanding the amount of work
that went into the first semester of my third year was. Because I also had to
work, I struggled to keep up with my lectures. I missed the deadlines for
most of the work. I was drowning. The thought of quitting my job was also
not a solution for me. I needed the money. I had no one to provide for me.
When I failed three modules out of the five in my first semester, the
bursary withdrew their financial assistance. That meant in the second
semester I wouldn’t have a place to stay; no registration fee and no food. I
came to a hard decision, which was to quit university and go to work full
time. I planned to save money and study part-time.
I struggled to find a place to stay that my waitressing salary would
cover. I was still staying with Lelethu, but I was running out of time. I
needed to be out of Res in three weeks as the schools would close by then. I
had to come to terms with the fact that I had no choice but to go back home.
I had some savings, but they were not going to last me long.
On my second last weekend in Port Elizabeth, I was free for the first
time in a long time. Lelethu told me she was taking me out, and she
wouldn’t take no for an answer. She told me it would be a sin for me to
leave university without having had to party, not even once. So, I thought to
myself, why not? Let me just throw caution to the wind and live, for once in
my life. She lent me one of her dresses. I don’t even know why she called it
a dress.
That thing barely covered my butt. She also lent me one of her heels
and helped to style my box braids. She didn’t have make up for me as I
didn’t use any. She shaped my eyebrows, used mascara for my eyelashes,
and then she gave me a red lipstick to use. I was regretting agreeing to this
every minute that passed.
“Look at you. You look beautiful.” I rolled my eyes.
“Lelethu you don’t have to butter me up, I already agreed to go out.
Come, let’s go.” We took an Uber to some club she said was the ‘it’ spot
for the high rollers. I was so uncomfortable it was not even funny.
 “Stop pulling the dress down. You look hot. Carry it with
confidence!” It was easy for her to say. The girl had confidence in spades.
“I thought it would be more packed,” I said to her as we walked in.
“As I said, it’s for the elite. We only got in because I know one of
the bouncers. He will hook us up with drinks as well. Have you drunk
before?” I shook my head no. “No worries, I’ll order something light for
you. I don’t want to have to carry you out of here.” My feelings of regret
kept growing. Within a few minutes of us sitting down, a waitress came and
asked for our orders and Lelethu ordered for me. When the drinks came it
didn’t taste as bad as I thought it would. It was actually nice. It was some
yellow concoction with an umbrella and a straw. The music was good.
Halfway through my glass, I felt more relaxed. We went to the dance floor
several times. Well she danced, I waved my hands around and shuffled my
feet. I wouldn’t call that dancing. I had to shrug off a few people that
thought it was ok to come and dance with me while they grabbed my ass. I
was just not comfortable being that close to men I didn’t know. We went
back to our table, our glasses empty, and before we ordered the second
round of drinks, I saw Lelethu’s eyes sparkle with interest.
“Don't look, but I spotted a bae. He has been looking at us for a
while now.” He must be looking at her then. No one ever looked at me.
“Oh! My gosh! He is coming this way!” She was getting flushed and
brimming with excitement right before my eyes.
“Hi Ladies. Do you mind if I join you?” That voice was smooth, low
pitched and caused little shivers to skirt down my spine. It had to be the
alcohol.
“Not at all, join us,” Lelethu enthused. He pulled a seat and sat
between us.
“Allow me to order your drinks,” he said that while calling for a
waitress. The waitress came to our table. “What would you like? The
same?” Lelethu eagerly nodded, and he ordered for us, then asked for
bottled water and a glass for himself.
“Are you not drinking?” Lelethu asked in that singsong voice.
“Not today. What are your names?” I’d all but ignored him and kept
my eyes fixed on my drink. I couldn’t tune his voice out though, and I tried.
“I’m Lelethu and this is Ndoni.” I was just thinking of a way to keep
myself busy while Lelethu was flirting with Mr Sexy Voice.
 “So, Ndoni, do you plan on avoiding me the entire night?” I felt heat
spread throughout my body. Did he just address me? I finally looked up.
Big mistake. The man. Whew! I’m not sure if he was a man or a god or a
figment of my imagination even. Such a good-looking man can only exist in
my imagination. He wore black fitted jeans that hugged his strong thighs to
perfection and the grey light sweater he wore stretched across his torso and
yet looked comfortable. “Earth to Ndoni.” There was amusement in his eyes
as he waved a hand in front of my face. He seemed like someone who
laughed a lot.
“No.” It came out a squeak. He smiled a sexy, lopsided smile. His
eyes, they spoke of a thousand sexy secrets. His lips were downright
kissable. His skin was shades lighter than mine and it reminded me of a
strong cup of coffee with milk. I finally knew what a definition of a fuck
boy was. No. Point of correction, this was no boy. He was all man, and he
had my private parts dancing. The man before me is what my mama had
warned me about.
“Good. I don’t like being ignored. I take offence.” His eyes were
fixed on mine, I struggled to make eye contact.
“I wasn’t ignoring you. I was just giving you two space.” Why was
he being unnecessary? I was trying to give him time with Lelethu and he
was being extra. My skin prickled with annoyance.
“But I’m here for both your company,” he shrugged.
“You know what they say. Two is company and three is a crowd.” I
had all but abandoned the eye contact and kept my eyes glued to my drink
as I played with the straw.
“Then I like this crowd.” He wasn’t giving up.
“We didn’t get your name,” Lelethu rescued me.
“Lusanda.”
“Nice to meet you, Lusanda,” she batted her eyelashes.
“The pleasure is all mine,” he drawled. I turned to find his gaze still
fixed on me. I couldn’t hold it, so I looked away. While I could still feel his
eyes on me Lelethu received a call and excused herself leaving me alone
with him. “Now that I have you all to myself, tell me about yourself,
Ndoni.”
“There is nothing to tell, really. I’m not as interesting as Lelethu is.”
“But I’m interested in you.” My eyes rolled to the back of my head.
 “Do you require payment for your alcohol?” I asked warily. The
man changed from cute to pissed in a second.
“Little girl, what do you take me for? I don’t need to get girls drunk
to pick them up!”
“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to offend you.” I realised this might be a
threatening situation. But then I realised that I might just be overreacting
and tried to act like I was experienced in being with polished men.
“Damn right you should be sorry,” he sighed then he smiled. “Okay,
come make it up to me then.” The alcohol seemed to help with my
newfound role.
“How should I make it up to you?” I tried to sound like I knew what
I was doing.
“Come, give me a kiss,” he invited, eyes challenging. I felt brave
suddenly and rose to the challenge. I leaned forward and gave him a peck
on his soft lips and immediately felt tingling sensations. He shook his head
as I slightly pulled back. “That’s not a kiss.” Before I could say anything
Lelethu came back.
“Ndoni, my boyfriend is here, and he wants to take me home. Come,
I’ll drop you off.” Just as I was about to have some fun.
“Can I drop you off?” Oh, hell no! He could be a psychopath for all
we know.
“I don’t know you well enough to agree to that,” I said, grabbing my
bag.
“Lelethu take a picture of us.” She was confused, but she did. Then he got
up and pulled us toward the bar. He approached the bartender and the
bouncer that knew Lelethu. “Heita!” They both turned to look at us. “My
name is Lusanda Ngcobo, here is my driver’s licence.” He took out his
licence and gave it to the confused gentlemen. The bouncer took it and
looked at it.
“It looks legit,” the bouncer shrugged.
“Now you know who will drive her home. If anything happens you
will know where to look right?”
“But we know you are friends with the boss so it shouldn’t be a
problem,” the bouncer responded, still frowning. We were convinced after
that and Lelethu left while Lusanda ordered another drink for me. I told him
it was my last one as he moved us to a much cosier and darkened corner of
the club.
“I still haven’t forgiven you for your earlier implication,” he
whispered against my ear, sending another bolt of electricity through my
system that pooled between my thighs. He was sitting way too close.
“Well, I have to do something about it, don’t I.”
“It had better be good,” he said. I was feeling brave again. I’ve never kissed
anyone, and the only kissing I had seen was on TV. I moved closer to him.
“You’re still too far?” he said that while raising one eyebrow. The only way
I could be closer was to sit on his lap. Well, I only had one night, and I may
never do this again. I got up and straddled his legs while hooking my arms
around his neck. I had the sense to look around and realised we were the
only ones in our little corner. I could feel the hem of my dress touching just
below my butt. I threw caution to the wind and relaxed further in his arms.
He still didn’t touch me, he just laid back against the couch and
smiled while he waited for my next move. I couldn’t help myself; I caressed
his cheeks with my thumbs just to feel if they were as smooth as they
looked. His smile died on his face as he looked at me with so much
intensity my entire body shivered. His skin was smooth. I leaned forward
and pecked his lips a few times. Then I looked up at him and found him
watching me with his hooded eyes.
He raised an eyebrow again. I wasn’t sure how to proceed. As I was
about to pull back, he held me at the back of my neck and took charge of
the kiss capturing my bottom lip then traced his tongue a couple of times
until my lips parted then the tip of his tongue slipped through. My body felt
electrified. I tentatively copied what he was doing to my lips, and I heard
him groan and deepen the kiss. He continued to kiss me, and I wanted to
crawl under his skin and stay there.
I couldn’t be sure whether he moved me closer, or I went on my
volition. I was then flush against his body and my pelvic area met with
something hard. His other arm came around my waist and held me closer in
a tight grip that I didn’t want to escape from. My hands were all over his
shoulders. I didn’t know what to do with myself. There was just heat
between my legs I needed him to assuage. My dress had ridden so high my
thighs were on display and I didn’t care. I wanted something. No, I needed
it, I just didn’t know what it was. The kiss intensified. I humped against
him, and he groaned as if in pain. I pulled back from the kiss, but my body
was still fully against his.
“I’m sorry,” I croaked, my chest heaving.
“Don’t be,” he rasped. My hips were still humping a bit. His one
hand came to my thigh and caressed me. He inched higher while staring
into my eyes as if waiting for me to stop him. When he reached my apex,
the heat coming out of my core contrasted with his cool hand. I opened my
legs a little to allow him access. He brushed my panty-covered mound, and
I moaned loudly, all but forgotten where we were at. His other hand pulled
me to him for another heated kiss. The man knew how to kiss and explore
my mouth that I didn’t have to do much but receive.
The sensations were back in multiples. There was an urge I wanted
to fulfil, but I didn’t know how to. The more I rubbed against him, the
closer I got. He pulled my panty aside and the moment his finger stroked
my nub, my entire body became coiled in tight knots and I wanted to break
free. Only he had the power to do that. He grunted, my body shook, and I
moaned louder against his mouth as I teetered on the edge of something
unknown. Nothing made sense but him and his carnal exploration of my
mouth and his insistent fingering of my most private part.
The desire burned through me, setting me on fire from the inside out
like a fever, threatening my sanity. My lungs burned from lack of oxygen,
but I didn’t want to breathe if it meant letting go of his lips.
An explosion began behind my closed eyelids into my scalp and
down my spine as my toes curled followed by my back going rigid with
heat spreading through my lower belly. The next thing I felt was an eruption
of pleasure so profound it went on forever. It felt like a stream of water was
gushing out of my vagina. I wrenched my lips from his and gasped for
breath while my body convulsed. He was breathing hard as he held me to
him while brushing my back. His hardness was still pulsating against my
core as he slipped his drenched fingers out of my panties. My entire body
hummed with mini tremors from within. “Ndoni.” His voice had gone
deeper.
“Hmm…” My head was buried on the side of his neck.
“Let me take you home.”
“I don’t have a home.” He paused the brushing.
“What do you mean?” There was a hint of concern in his tone.
“I just meant that it’s not home, it’s res.”
 “Let me take you back to the res then.” I held on to him tighter,
refusing to let go of the safety I felt in his arms. Madness, of course, I
hardly knew the man.
“Take me with you,” I blurted. My tongue was on a roll tonight. I felt
possessed. Imagine being a good girl all my life and turning into a hoe in
one night. At the first sight of tall, caramel, and handsome!
“Do you know what you are asking me, Ndoni?” His voice dropped
an octave. I shivered as his breath caressed my ear.
“Yes. I’m asking you to take me back to your place and finish what
you started and take care of this while you at it,” I said that rubbing myself
on his bulge. He swore under his breath.
“I think you’ve had far too much to drink.”
“I’m not drunk. A bit tipsy, yes. But not drunk. Please, Lusanda,
make me feel good. I need it. Please.” My head was still buried on the side
of his neck. He swore again and got up with me wrapped around him. I
could hear him saying his goodbyes to the bouncers. He walked with me to
his car, still with my legs wrapped around his waist and my arms around his
neck. He opened the car and gently put me in as he went around, got in and
started the car.
“Fuck! I get the feeling that this will end up being the biggest regret
of my life.” I heard him murmur.
“It won’t.” He shook his head and drove off. I fastened my seatbelt,
sat back, and watched him drive.
The drive was quiet, and I began questioning my sanity. It must
have fled because the sane me wouldn’t be driving to an unknown place
with a stranger with intents of having sex. We arrived at his place. Well, it
wasn’t really his place per se but a five-star hotel. We walked in silence
towards the elevators, my heart pounding hard against my chest. I wasn’t
sure whether it was the effect of his closeness or nerves. Either way, I was
still determined. He pressed a button on the lift panel, and it opened
immediately.
He waved his hand for me to get in first while he followed. Once he
selected a floor on the panel, the doors slid closed. I stood nervously on one
side while he leaned against the wall on the other side, his hands tucked in
his pants pockets one leg crossed over the other. I could feel his eyes on me,
and his gaze felt like a brand with a hot brush.
 The lift doors opened. He led me towards his room, swiped the card
and pushed the door open allowing me to walk in first. The floor to ceiling
windows on the other side immediately drew my eyes, and I wondered what
view they provided. I quickly swept my eyes around and found the place to
be modern and yet modest in its luxury with the warm colour tones that
dominated. The result was surprisingly inviting and even homely. We were
in the middle of the living room when he suddenly turned to look at me. My
earlier bravado from the club seemed to have deserted me as I stood unsure
under his intense scrutiny.
“The bathroom is that way if you need to freshen up.” He pointed to
the door on the other side. I took that as an opportunity to escape, to collect
myself. I nodded and quickly left the room without a backward glance.
Once in the bathroom, I took stock of my reflection in the mirror. I didn’t
like what I saw, the image glaring back at me didn’t fit in a place like this.
Even the bathroom was bigger than the room I shared with Lelethu, with all
the marbled walls and golden taps that screamed luxury.
I looked between the deep ceramic tub that stood on its own and the
spacious glass-walled shower on one side and took a shower.
I lathered myself with the manly shower gel that I found in there, scrubbed,
rinsed, and repeated that process a few times. Then I stood there and let the
water run down my back, easing some nerves I was feeling. Eventually,
when it felt like I was turning into a prune, I went out. I used his lotion and
deodorant.
I’ve always been extra careful about going without it since I was
always tormented about my odour. After the shower, I didn’t feel like going
back to my flimsy dress and now that the effects of alcohol had worn off; I
wasn’t as brave as I was at the club. There was a fluffy white gown hanging
behind the door; I put that on. The robe dwarfed my small frame, but it was
that or one of the fluffy towels. I would feel too exposed in a towel, so I
chose the robe and tied it hard around my waist and then walked tentatively
to the lounge. I found him sitting on the couch watching TV with a glass of
something dark in his hand. I walked over and stood awkwardly in the
middle of the lounge.
“Don’t tell me you’ve suddenly gone shy on me.” I kept twisting the belt of
the robe. “Come sit with me,” he said, patting the space next to him. I
walked and sat stiffly next to him. “You took over an hour to shower. Were
you hoping to find me asleep?” I shook my head. “Nc nc nc. Ndoni when I
speak baby, I expect a vocal answer. Mh!” I nodded. He rolled his eyes.
“Yes. I mean no. I always take long showers,” I stammered.
“That must be the reason your skin is so flawless.” I couldn’t find
words to respond to that. Was he mocking me? “So, do you still want me to
finish what I started at the club?” I wasn’t sure anymore, but words stuck in
my throat. He, on the other hand, looked a picture of confidence. He was
leaning against the couch, with his left arm hanging over the headrest
behind me, his body slightly turned to face me. I nodded. “Ndoni?” he
warned. The sound of my name from his lips sent shivers down my spine.
“Yes. I would like you to,” I said in a small voice. He smiled, and
the feelings I had in the club slowly unfurled inside me. He leaned forward
with his right hand going to the back of my neck to pull me forward gently.
When our faces were just inches apart, he hesitated, his eyes locked on
mine as if allowing me to decide. I dropped my eyes to his lips and then
moved forward to plant a chaste kiss on his lips and then pulled apart. His
hold on my neck tightened holding me in place then he was the one
brushing his lips against mine. I let out a gasp and that allowed a tip of his
tongue to slip through. Warm sensations flooded me as I returned the kiss
while moving closer to him. It reignited the fire.
He deepened the kiss while he gently pushed me down on the sofa
as he came over me. My legs opened freely, and he settled comfortably
between them. He moved down, placing kisses on my jaw to my neck.
When he kissed a spot on my neck, my body curled like a bow as moisture
seeped through my core. I whimpered and writhed under his touch, my
hands clawing at his back.
“Lusanda.” I didn’t recognise my voice. I needed more. I didn’t
know what it was, but my body was on fire. In search of this unknown, I
locked my legs around his waist and met that hard muscle between his legs,
he groaned against my neck while I gyrated my hips against him.
“Fuck!” he cursed as he held my thighs still while he bit on my neck
and that sent more sensations down my body. The gown was wide open,
which meant my bare wet pussy was in contact with his jean-clad member. I
needed more friction chasing that explosive feeling from the club. He was
having none of it though as he held me down in a tight grip, his breath
coming in hot puffs against my ear.
 “Ndoni stop that,” he rasped. My movement stilled while my body
trembled uncontrollably. “Take it easy, baby, I got you,” he whispered
looking down on me. His eyes had grown darker, his pupils blown. I could
only nod my head and let him lead. He captured my lips in a soft kiss that
left me longing for more and then he was moving down my body, planting a
trail of wet kisses down my jaw, collarbone and then the centre of my chest.
My breasts felt heavy and my nipples tightened in anticipation as he kissed
my globes. His head came up above my chest and I instantly missed his lips
against my skin. I felt scorching heat as his eyes darted between my breasts
− shyness suddenly overwhelmed me – I covered them with my hands.
“Don’t,” he growled, “don’t hide from me.” Then he gathered my
hands and held them above my head while he tortured my breast. His
tongue came out and twirled around one pebbled nipple and I felt that to my
core as I clenched painfully and repeatedly. He repeated the process with
the other breast, and I writhed under him as he continued to slaughter my
senses.
“Mmmmmmm Sanda please.” It came out as a hoarse whisper. My need for
him grew as he continued his sensual torture down my body. Feelings I
couldn’t describe consumed me, and I felt like I was teetering on the verge
of an enormous explosion. On one hand, I wanted nothing more than to go
over on the other I felt like I would explode into a million pieces. I moaned,
crooned, and begged for the unknown. My body was covered in a sheen of
sweat as he explored further down. He opened my legs wider, and it fully
exposed my pussy to him. I wanted to close my legs, but he held them
tighter. He looked at me. I felt the moisture seeping through and pooling
down my butt crack.
“My Black Pearl. So precious.” I felt worshipped at that moment.
He went down again and kissed me just close to my pussy but not
contacting my heated core where I needed it the most. I wanted to scream at
him, swear at him or just plainly cry.
“Sanda, please. Please.”
“Tell me what you want, My Pearl.” His voice came out in a sexy
rasp.
“Need…touch…do…please.” I let out an incoherent sentence. He
did something I never thought could be done or even expected. He licked
me from the entrance of my ass, flat tongue to my clit and then he sucked
on it, hard. I screamed, my body went rigid and all the intense feelings that
had pooled into my clitoris splintered and drove me into oblivion. The
unexpected orgasm had me seeing an explosion of colour behind my closed
eyelids.
“Damn!” His exclamation sounded far off in the distance. My breath
came in hard, short breaths, my body humming in pleasure, but I still
wanted more. I knew it, he knew it and my body knew it. He suddenly
stood up and then picked me up like I weighed nothing as I hooked my
arms around his neck. “You look so fucking hot right now.” He had this
heated look on his face that burnt a trail everywhere he looked.
He gently laid me down on the bed and took off my gown. It left me
completely naked, lying there like a sacrificial lamb waiting for slaughter.
He stood and took off his clothes, his eyes sweeping over my body. There
was something of a warrior in him, combined with a gentleness that made
me want to reach out. When his shirt was off, it revealed his chiselled body.
No ounce of fat was in sight. He had muscles; he was not bulky, no,
only perfectly proportioned. His abs sported an eight pack with that V that
pointed to his pants, and that’s where my eyes went. To his bulge. He
opened his buttons and hooked his thumbs in his boxer briefs as he pulled
them down together with his pants and I gulped at the sight of him. As shy
as I was to look, I couldn’t look away. When he came back up in all his
naked glory, I nearly passed out. There is no way in hell I could
accommodate that thing.
It stood jutting against his abdomen, leaking profusely on the slit.
He wrapped his hand around it and slowly stroked himself. My cookie
fluttered and my inner muscles clenched as my heart rate sped up. I felt a
sliver of nerves creep in. Looking at that long muscle and its wide girth,
he’d split me into two.
“Do you like what you see?” My eyes flew to his. He had that
naughty smile on his face, the smile I was getting addicted to. He climbed
on the bed and crawled up to me until he was hovering above me. I could
feel heat permeating from his body. I opened my legs and accommodated
his lower body, once his erection met my core, I almost flew off the bed at
the multiple sensations that went through me. He balanced his elbows on
either side of my head with his darkened eyes searching mine.
My core pulsated against his hot erection and I couldn’t help but
buck my hips against him. His hands pulled my braids backwards while he
dipped his head and captured my lips in a carnal kiss that had my toes
curling. The kiss heated, igniting the passion that was lying just above the
surface. When I felt like I would pass out from the lack of breath, he began
to kiss and touch me everywhere until he once again had his head buried
between my legs.
He opened my wet folds and licked, sucked, and probed while
collecting the moisture that continually seeped. His tongue was cooling yet
blazing against my heated core. I felt his finger slide through my heated
vagina while his tongue lapped at my nub. The intrusion had me tense a
little, but the continuing torture of his tongue against my nub sucked him in
as my inner muscles clenched. I had my hands gripping the sheets hard as
my hips searched for more. Before I knew it, I was exploding again.
I was so sensitive I didn’t think I could take another touch. He
moved up my body, his hard member leaving a trail of moisture on my skin.
He smiled just before he captured my lips with his. I could smell my
essence on him and tasted the tangy flavour as his lips devoured mine. He
reached for the drawer and I heard a foil packet open. I watched, eyes wide
as he sat back on his heels, between my legs, rolling the condom on. His
brow furrowed, and he had a visible vein on his forehead.
“Are you sure you want this?” He leaned over me, his face so close
to mine, I could feel his breath fanning my heated skin. “We can still stop.”
I shook my head. “Ndoni?” I may never get another chance to be with such
a god.
“Yes. I want it. I want you,” I said, my voice hoarse. He smiled and
held his angry-looking muscle in his hand as he directed himself towards
my opening. As he pushed in my body immediately tensed against the
foreign intrusion. His head jerked up to look at me questioningly. My breath
came out in loud gasps.
Then he rested his forehead against mine. “Ndoni! Please don’t tell
me this is your first time,” he said that through gritted teeth.” I nodded.
“Ndoni!” His voice rose warningly.
“I haven’t done it before,” I whispered, my thighs shaking. He still
had his tip inside me. He pulled out and flopped over me.
“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” he let out the pained response.
“I’m sorry.” He looked up at me while he balanced with his elbows
on either side of my face.
 “Ndoni, shit!” He dragged the ‘sh’ as he spoke. “I’m not man you
give your virginity to. I have nothing to offer you but this.”
“I want nothing more than this,” I blurted. “I wasn’t waiting for
anyone special. I just never got the opportunity to.” He burrowed his head
in the crook of my neck and held me for a few minutes. I silently prayed
that he wasn’t about to change his mind. For some reason I wanted to do
this with him, this moment right here was all I needed. Then he looked at
me again, his face in a grimace.
“You should. It’s a special moment and you are special.” I felt tears
prickle at the back of my eyes.
“Please Lusanda, don’t stop. I’ll never get another chance again.”
He swore and then started kissing me again. While kissing me he tried to
push, and he slid in, and I felt my inner wall stretch to accommodate his
girth. He inched further until it reached the barrier. I felt stuffed, and I felt
the pain as my body tensed. I let out a whimper against his lips.
“Shit! Ndoni. I’m not even halfway in. This will still hurt,” he
murmured.
“It will get better, right?” He said nothing. He took my nipple in his
mouth while he remained in that position inside of me. He alternated
between my breasts. I felt myself relax again, and then he plunged in. I
screamed as the pain shot through me and I felt the urge to push him off me.
He stilled inside of me while wiping the tears off my face with his thumbs,
tears I didn’t realise had escaped my eyes. He kissed my forehead, then my
closed eyes, then a peck on my lips. My body vibrated with the unfamiliar
sensations, a mixture of pain and pleasure.
He teased my earlobes and went down my neck to the spot just
below my ear that drove me crazy. I felt my body relax against the gentle
onslaught and my legs opening wider. The pleasurable sensation was back,
even though there was still a hint of pain. I needed him to move. As if he
read my mind, he moved. His hips gently rocked into me while he kissed
me everywhere he could reach. My hands moved over his back and arms as
our sweaty bodies slid against each other. I was making sounds I didn’t
even recognise. He took my lips in his, swallowing my moans as I did with
his groans while he increased the pace. I locked my legs around his back,
felt him slide even deeper, and he groaned against my mouth.
“Fuck! Baby. You’re too tight! Shit!” He put his hand between us
and rubbed my nub. Fire raced along my nerve endings and I closed my
eyes as the sensations consumed my entire being. I exploded, screaming his
name. He let out a groan, his hold tightening while his hips bucked
uncontrollably. I felt his entire body spasm repeatedly as he let out a string
of curses. Then he collapsed on top of me, panting. I ran my hands on his
sweaty back and listened to the sounds of our erratic heartbeats.
“That was fucking mind-blowing!” he murmured.
“Yeah!” That’s all I could manage. He gently pulled out, and I
winced in pain.
“Fuck.” A panic look came on his face.
“What is it?” I tried to sit up, but I think I was temporarily
paralysed.
“Nothing. You just bled a little. Let me run you a bath.” He went to
the bathroom. He came back still naked and scooped me up, took me to the
bathroom and gently put me inside the tub. My sore bits welcomed the
warm water. Then he came and sat behind me. He massaged my shoulder
muscles until my entire body relaxed against him.
“So, tell me, how old are you?” I felt warmth spread down my back
as his voice vibrated against my neck.
“Twenty-two, and you?”
“Thirty-two.” What! He looked nothing over twenty-seven, maybe.
“Okay.” We were silent for a while. Then he pulled me out and
helped me dry my body. When we finished, he took me to bed and cuddled
with me from behind.
“Good night, My Pearl.”
“Good night.” Then I was dead to the world.

OceanofPDF.com
 The morning after
woke up to bright light filtering through the wall to wall windows. I
I realised that for the first time in my life, as far as I could remember, I
overslept. I also realised that I was alone in the room and judging by the
cold space beside me, had been for a while. I pushed the blankets off and
swung my legs over the bed. I felt the uncomfortable tenderness between
my legs, a reminder of the previous night’s activities.
My hip bones felt like they had been reassembled. I plodded to the
connecting bathroom, gentle on my sore muscles then gingerly sat on the
toilet seat to pee, I winced at the burn I experienced. Did my vagina tear or
something? I took a shower and wore another fresh robe afterwards. There
was a new toothbrush next to his, which I used. I found him sitting on the
already made bed as I walked out of the bathroom.
“Good morning, beautiful.”
“You don’t have to say that,” I snapped.
“Is it not a good morning?” he frowned.
“You know what I mean.” The frown remained on his face.
“How are you feeling? Are you still sore?”
“Just a little.” A lot.
“I got you these.” He had two bags of clothes from an expensive
boutique. I know it because I once worked there for a few weeks, standing
in for another girl. There were a few dresses, underwear and another bag
had two pairs of shoes. “I didn’t know what you would like, so I bought a
few things.”
“I can’t accept these! They are too expensive,” I said, giving the bag
back to him.
“You can’t walk around with the same dress you wore last night.”
He had a point.
“I’ll take one.”
 “I hate to break it to you sweetheart, but they are not my style.” His
eyes danced with laughter and I couldn’t help the smile that stretched my
lips.
“Thank you.” I took the bags from him because even though my
very being baulked at the idea, I couldn’t really walk around with a robe.
“There we go. Was it too difficult to say that?” I smiled, shaking my
head. “You also need to take these.” He gave me two pills.
“What are these for?”
“Well, the thing is, the condom broke last night,” he grimaced. My
heart clenched painfully as a sense of dread settled deep in my gut.
Pregnancy! My heart raced, and I felt my armpits sweat. Worse, I don’t
even know this man. Diseases! How can I be so stupid! I’m my father’s
daughter, after all. My vision swam, and I reached out with my hand to
balance on the bed.
“Oh, my word! What have I done?” I sat on the edge of the bed.
“Okay, Ndoni. You need to calm down. Take these and that will help
you avoid pregnancy. It stops it from happening.” He gave me a glass of
water. I took the glass of water, my hand trembling as I drank the pills.
“What about diseases?” An annoyed look crossed in his eyes. I
wasn’t bothered.
“I’m clean. But there is an emergency pill you can take as well if
you don’t trust me.”
“I didn’t mean to offend you, but I don’t know you well enough.”
The irony of the statement after the previous night. “I apologise if I
offended you.”
“It’s cool. I understand.”
“I’m going to change.” I picked the bag with the new clothes and
went through to the bathroom. I chose an off-white off the shoulders dress
with big open long sleeves. It was short and flowy, then I paired it with dark
brown high knee boots.
“You are gorgeous,” he said the moment I walked back into the
bedroom. It made me uncomfortable when he said things like that. “Come
here.” I walked towards him as he leaned against the dresser. He took my
hand and tugged me closer, cupped my face and kissed me. I clung to him
as he deepened the kiss.
When he let go, I was panting. “Now that’s how you greet a man
after a night of orgasms.” We both laughed. “Come, let’s go feed you.” He
didn’t let go of my hand as we walked towards the elevator. He held my
hand to his car and opened the door for me. I cautiously sat on the car seat
and shifted to the side.
I didn’t even ask where he was taking us for breakfast. He started
the car and drove towards the beachfront restaurants. We finally arrived in
one fancy restaurant by the beach and sat on the outside tables. The weather
was sunny even though it was almost winter, we still enjoyed what was left
of the warm climate. The days were still hot, but as the sun went down, it
would become chilly.
Immediately after we sat, this beautiful waitress came to take our
order and I could see she also caught the Lusanda effect. It should have a
name, like all the natural disasters of this world, you know, the Tsunamis
and Dineos. He has that dangerous, catastrophic charm about him, where
you know you are teetering over the edge, but you can’t help yourself. The
waitress blushed and giggled throughout the order without giving me any
attention. Since I didn’t want to embarrass myself by ordering something I
didn’t know, I let Lusanda order for me. With our order placed, she left us
to ourselves.
As we sat in silence, my gaze travelled towards the ocean before us. There
was something about the water that drew me in. The moment I arrived in PE
almost three years ago, I fell in love with the ocean. When I had time, that
was a treat and a rare moment. Of course, I would walk to the beach and
just watch the waves.
The sea seemed serene most times and calm, and that was the
deceiving part about it. Then at times, it would be angry, tempestuous, and
most dangerous. You can never really say you know the ocean. You can’t
master nor conquer it. Beneath its surface lie the deepest and treacherous
secrets, and most of the Almighty’s creation and glory lies in the ocean’s
depth.
You would think with all the inflow from the dams, rivers, and
streams, all the trash that gets deposited in the ocean, it would lose its
magnificence. No, not the ocean. It remains blue, clean, and still glorious
and fierce in her beauty. My breakfast companion brought me back from
my rambling thoughts. He sat, leaning back on his chair with one foot over
the knee and one hand lightly tapping on the table, a frown marring his
forehead.
 “I would pay millions to find out what goes on in that mind of
yours.” His intense gaze locked with mine, my tummy fluttered.
“Then you’d broke, and you'd still have no clue.”
“Feisty. I like it.” I just smiled at him. “So, tell me, Ndoni, why is it
that the boys in high school or even university hadn’t broken your virginity
yet?” My face heated as I looked away.
“I had never given them a chance to.”
“Why is that?” I could feel his eyes still on me and dared to meet his
gaze. A shiver went through me like a caress.
“Let’s just say breaking my virginity wasn’t a top priority in my
life,” I said shifting against my seat.
“What was your priority then?” he asked a lot of questions.
“Surviving.” His eyes narrowed as he watched me for a while. He
made me uncomfortable when he did that, like he could read my deep
darkest secrets. I could never hold his gaze.
“So why did you finally decide to give it up to a stranger?”
“You seemed like a man who knew his business. Even from that
kiss. I needed it over and done with and find out what the fuss was about
with no attachments and you seem like the right man to fulfil that role.” He
burst out laughing.
“Ouch! You don’t hold back any punches, do you?” His eyes were
still dancing with laughter.
“Am I lying?”
“It’s quite an assumption because you don’t know me.” No malice,
just a statement. I shrugged.
“I will ask you again. Am I lying?” He chuckled.
“Maybe there is some truth in what you are saying.” Our food
arrived, and we started eating. “Tell me about yourself.” I flinched even
though he said that statement casually.
“Nothing to tell that you’d find interesting. I’m only a student, doing
my third year.”
“You’d be surprised at how fascinating I find you.”
“Why are you staying at a hotel? Where do you come from? Why
are you here?” I changed the subject, not wanting him to lie about his
fascination with me.
“Ease up detective Ndoni.” He put his hands up as if to ward me off.
 “Just curious,’ I shrugged. He took a napkin and wiped his mouth,
then sat back in his chair.
“I’m staying in a hotel because I’m only here on business. That
should answer two of your questions. I’m from Joburg.”
“Were you born there?”
“No.” The finality in his tone told me he wouldn’t expand on that.
“What do you do then, Mr Ngcobo?”
“Why am I being cross-questioned like I’m on the stand?”
“I thought we were having a conversation. You don’t have to answer
if you don’t want to. I’m sorry if I’m crossing your boundaries.” He stared
at me for a while as I ate. I understood where he came from. I also didn’t
like people asking a lot of questions about me. Like I was a textbook to be
studied and analysed. I’ll tell you what I want to tell you, the rest is not
your business.
“Where did you go just now?” he asked.
“Nowhere,” I shrugged. “Why do you ask?”
“I’ve noticed that whenever your mind wanders, you have a wistful
look in your eyes. Anyway, to answer your question, I kill people.” My eyes
popped out of their sockets and he burst out laughing. “Your face.
Priceless.” I tried to compose myself, but I still felt uneasy. “Relax I’m
playing with you.”
“Whatever! You know what don't tell me. I really don’t want to
know.”
“If you say so.” We resumed eating. “You look cute when you are
sulking. I just imagine the things you’d do with that mouth of yours. How
you'd sound when you beg me to fuck you.” I choked on my juice. When
did this conversation turn sexual?
“Stop it!” I glared at him. He grinned. The swine was enjoying this.
He wanted to see me ruffled, and he was succeeding.
“Nc nc nc. You are a breath of fresh air, Ndoni.” I shivered with the way he
said my name. “Very alluring without even trying.” I felt relaxed around
him as we engaged in lively banter, as if we’d known each other for years. I
almost forgot about my troubles in his company. Almost.
“How about a walk on the beach?”
“I’d love that.” He settled the bill, left our shoes in the car, and then
we walked towards the beach. We walked for a while chatting until we
reached a quiet and a secluded area. Then we sat down, leaned back on our
elbows as we watched the ocean.
“There is something about the ocean. I can’t put it into words,” he
said.
“It’s majestic.”
“Yeah.” We were both quiet for a while, lost in our thoughts. “Do
you have to be anywhere for the next few days?” He broke the silence.
“No. Why do you ask?”
“I’d like to spend more time with you while I’m here.” I thought
about it for a second.
“Okay, as long as we both agree that it will end here. No strings
attached.” He turned to me then with a brow furrowed, “What?”
“For a moment you just sounded like me.” I chuckled.
“It’s the truth though,” I said.
“Yeah.” We sat and at some point, I had my head on his chest while
we talked. We talked until I almost fell asleep. “Come, let’s take you back
to the hotel.” He stood and pulled me up.
“I think I’m hungry again.” He checked his time.
“We’ve been here for almost five hours. Let’s have lunch, do a bit of
shopping and then we’ll head back to the hotel,” he suggested as he helped
me brush off the sand on my dress.
“Shopping for what?”
“I need some stuff,” he hedged. We returned to the car and drove to
the nearest mall. We had lunch first, and then he took me to a few boutiques
to buy more clothes. I argued all the way through. He wouldn't take no for
an answer; I told him I didn't want his money or for him to spend his money
on me. I wasn't some damsel in distress that needed rescuing. Okay,
technically I was, but he didn’t need to know that.
I got myself to where I was, and I would see myself through. If I
needed help, I would work hard for what I wanted to achieve on my two
feet not on my back. I needed him to understand that being with him was
for mutual pleasure, nothing more. He understood, but said it was
pleasurable to do things for me. I lost that argument.
I took several warm things as it was almost winter. I would need
warmer clothes. Jackets, boots, sneakers, sweatpants, scarves, and he
personally selected the underwear. It was different bright colours that he
said would look sexy against my skin. When we finished with our shopping,
I was carrying loads of bags with brands I never even dreamt of.
We ordered room service for dinner when we arrived at the hotel. I
ran a bath while he ordered the food. I poured the foam bath and almost
created a cloud mixed with scented oils, and then I sank into it.
“What the fuck! Are you trying to drown yourself?” My eyes flew open,
and I looked around. I overdid the bubbles, I must admit. My eyes went
back to him and watched as he took off his clothes. My cookie clapped and
curtseyed at the sight of his toned body revealed an inch at a time. When he
took his jeans off together with his underwear, my eyes travelled up his
long legs that curved in a slight bracket then landed on his swollen length
between his legs. The new reawakened inner hoe salivated. I crossed my
legs inside the bathtub.
“Move forward, my little fish,” he said his voice hoarse. I shifted
forward while he came and sat behind me with his legs on either side of me.
He pulled me against his chest and started rubbing my breast while his lips
ghosted at the back of my neck, sending chills throughout my body. I felt
his hardness against my lower back. My hands moved up and down his
solid thighs as his other hand went around my tummy then slid down my
centre and flicked the protruding nub.
“So sleek and wet. You are needy for me, aren’t you, my little
minx?” His voice sent tingles all over my spine. He alternated between
kissing the side of my neck and flicking his tongue against my earlobe. The
heat between my legs intensified. He slid his finger further down. I
flinched. “Are you still sore?” he asked as he pulled his finger out.
“Yes.” That came out like a heavy breath.
“Let me make you feel good then. How’s that?” I just nodded my
head because the need was still there, and I wanted the pleasure I knew
would come so bad my body shook. “Ndoni.”
“Yes. Make me feel good.” Heat coiled in my belly as he massaged
my clit while he flicked his tongue against my ear. He rubbed harder and
turned my head for an intense kiss; I could feel the intense moment nearing
as heat spread through my body. When his tongue went inside my mouth
and I sucked, he groaned and the sound of that sent me over the edge. I
exploded while he swallowed my screams with his lips. I felt his hard
length still throbbing against my lower back as I let out harsh little breaths.
His hands went to my heavy breasts, and he caressed them while my body
came down from the high.
“What about you?” I asked through my laboured breath.
“What about me?” He had that teasing tone to his voice.
“Well, you’re still...I mean you did...you know!” I stammered.
“I didn’t what Ndoni?” I could hear the mirth in his tone. My skin
prickled with annoyance.
“Are you making fun of me, Lusanda?”
“I’m sorry. You’re just too cute not to tease. The way you furrow your
eyebrows together and purse your lips. I can’t help myself.” Nxm! I tried to
get up, but he held me back. “I’m just teasing you, why do you always take
me seriously?” he asked, his voice a serious tone.
“I just don’t enjoy being teased.” He leaned his head to the side and
looked at me as if he was trying to figure me out. I distracted myself by
playing with the water.
“I’m sorry if I offend you, I don’t mean to. I probably won’t stop
though.” Then he smacked his lips against mine in a quick kiss.
“Why are you apologising then?”
“Just to keep the peace. Let’s go eat, the food is probably cold.” He
helped me out of the tub then dried me off with the fluffy towel then
himself. We returned to the bedroom, ate, and then cuddled to sleep
afterwards.
A thrashing Lusanda wrenched me from a deep sleep. An intense
nightmare gripped him; he was drenched in sweat. He kept making
unintelligible sounds. I didn’t know what to do, and I must admit it terrified
me. I cautiously sat up and went on my knees next to him.
“Lusanda! Lusanda! Wake up.” Nothing. He kept fighting with whatever
was in his dream. I shook him on his shoulder.
Big mistake. He sprung up and was on top of me so fast I didn’t
have time to blink. Then he was choking me. I tried pulling at his hands, but
his grip was too tight. His eyes were glazed over, so I knew he was still
asleep. I panicked. What if he kills me in his sleep? Maybe that’s how he
kills people. Okay, Ndoni, don’t let your imagination run wild with you, try
to relax so you can breathe. Nope, my pep talks to myself weren’t helping.
Panic set in as I battled to breathe. He was going to kill me! My vision
swam as he became a blur before me.
 “Sanda wake up, please,” I croaked. His eyes flew open and then he
quickly let go while I gasped for air. He scrambled backwards until he was
off the bed and stood there with his eyes wide. He slowly returned to the
bed, then knelt in front of me and cupped my face.
“Fuck! I’m sorry, did I hurt you?” His eyes searched mine. I shook
my head. “Ndoni!” he husked.
“No, you didn’t hurt me.” His eyes went to my neck followed by his
shaky hand. “I’m okay. What were you dreaming about?” His eyes
shuttered.
“Just a nightmare.” He let go of my neck. “You shouldn't touch me
when I'm having one. I could have hurt you.”
“Do you get them a lot?” He looked down then up again; the mask
was back on.
“Not really. No.” I just had the urge to hold him. I moved tentatively
towards him and pulled him in for a hug. At first, he was reluctant to return
it, but I clung on to him. He held me tighter with his head resting on my
shoulder. Our naked bodies were close. We parted after a while; his eyes
locked on mine. I couldn't read his expression. Then he leaned forward, and
I met him halfway as our lips touched, his tongue demanded entry and I let
him in.
He continued to stroke my tongue with his and I clung to him,
needing more. It was not a gentle or a rehearsed kiss. It was wild, wet, hard,
and out of control. Tongue and teeth clashing. He pushed me down as he
came on top. Without warning, he buried himself deep inside me in a single
thrust. He paused, allowing me a moment to adjust. The sting of pain I felt
was immediately overshadowed by the intense pleasure. I shifted my hips,
ready for more and he gave me more as he began to move in and out of me.
“Yes!” I let out a drawn-out moan.
“Fuuuuuuuuck. So hot.” He held me in a tight grip of his arms
underneath mine, around my back to my shoulders as his hips bucked
against me. I locked my legs around his waist and that allowed him to sink
deeper. Our tongues slid against each other’s as we found our rhythm. He
felt like a man possessed, claiming my body as his. I met his passion with
my moans and whimpers, my fingers clawing at his back. Electricity
rocketed through me and centred right between my legs where he met it
with his thrusts. My orgasm exploded unexpectedly that I saw white behind
my closed eyelids. His thrusts became choppy and then he let out a loud
groan, his hold on me almost bruising as his body jerked against mine.
“Fuck! For a first-timer, you love sex!” He chuckled as we were
both gasping for breath. “Take it easy on an old man. Otherwise, you’ll kill
him. I need to shower,” he said, his softening member still twitching inside
me.
“Me too.” He still didn’t move.
“But I don’t want to move from here,” he said that while grinding
his hips a little. I felt him growing hard.
“I suppose there is no rush, old man.” His face broke into a wide
smile.
“You think so?” He gently moved while looking at me.
“Absolutely.” I ran my hands up his sweaty back.
“See what I mean!” He got off me and I winced as he pulled out.
“Come,” he pulled me with him. “We still need to take it easy.” He laced
his fingers with mine and led me to the bathroom.
“If I’m an addict, then it’s your fault. You introduced me to sex.”
My eyes were glued on his tight behind.
“How was I to refuse when you were begging so nicely for it?” He
let go of my hand and opened the shower door. I loved feasting my eyes on
his naked form. Watching his muscles work as he set the shower at the right
temperature.
“I wasn’t begging!”
“Oh, Sanda. Please. Please. I need it. Touch me, Sanda. Harder,” he
mimicked my voice. Looking freaking good with the water sluicing over his
head.
“I do not speak like that,” I mumbled. He stretched out his hand to
me.
“Come,” I took his hand and stepped into the shower where he
washed me until my body hummed with pleasure, then he took care of me
with his tongue until I fell apart in his arms. When we returned to bed, we
cuddled into a dreamless sleep.
I spent the following days with Lusanda teaching me different ways
my body could please him and taking me to even greater heights with his.
We only left the bed to get food and get cleaned up, then fall back in each
other’s arms. When I next woke up the room was dark showing it was
evening and I was once again alone, but there was a note on the bedside.
My Pearl. You were sleeping so peacefully I didn’t want to wake you. I’ll be
back soon. Order room service if you get hungry. I know how much you love
food. P.S. don’t swallow the flies that went into your mouth. Then there was
a smiling face. Idiot.
I clutched the paper to my chest, smiling when the hotel room phone
rang. I ignored it because I wasn’t expecting any call and the hotel guest
wasn’t in. When it rang again, I wore a robe and went to answer.
“Hello.”
“Good evening, ma’am. There is a lady here at reception who would
like to see Mr Ngcobo.”
“He is not here now. Did you try his cell phone?” Then I just
realised I didn’t even know his numbers.
“Yes, ma’am, but it goes straight to voicemail.” I tried to think of
what to do. I didn’t feel comfortable receiving Lusanda’s guests. “She
doesn’t mind waiting. Should we send her up to his room?”
“Sure. Send her up.”
“Thank you, ma’am. Have a good evening.” I stood clutching the
phone, then I quickly ran to discard the robe for leggings and an oversized
shirt. A few minutes later there was a knock at the door, and I went to open.
A tall white lady with long dark hair walked through pulling a small
luggage set.
“Hello,” she said the greeting like an inquiry. I felt intimidated and
inadequate instantly.
“Hi.” I pasted a smile on my face. She walked into the living area
like she owned the place.
“I’m Kelly, Lusanda’s girlfriend and who are you?” She gave me a
once over then immediately dismissed me as she looked around the room.
“Ndoni. His friend’s girlfriend. They went out to a pub. My
boyfriend and I fought; hence I didn’t go with them. I was actually on my
way out.” I volunteered the unnecessary information without missing a
breath. She raised her eyebrow, and I lifted my chin in a challenge. Then
she shrugged off her coat, threw it on the couch then sat down.
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that, but you don’t have to go, we can wait
for them together.”
“I need to go. My mom is expecting me home. Let me get my bag.”
I turned without even waiting for her answer. I went to the bedroom to
change into warmer clothes. I checked if I had enough money for a cab and
I did. I took nothing else. I didn’t have a suitcase and where was I going to
wear such fancy clothes again, anyway? I packed the rest of the clothes in
the shopping bag.
When I went back to the living area, the white lady was on the
phone. I didn’t wait for her, I just waved and then left. I wasn’t about to
mess with Lusanda’s relationship. He told me he had nothing to offer me
but sex because he knew that he was already in a committed relationship.
I found a cab that took me back to res and cost a fortune. When I
arrived in our room Lelethu wasn’t there. There was no point for me to stay
in Port Elizabeth anymore. I packed my one big suitcase and prepared to
leave for home the next day.

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 Nowhere to hide

I came back to the hotel later than I had planned. I was tired as fuck and I
had to return to Joburg as soon as possible. I was running out of time and
I couldn’t seem to get anywhere with my project. It had been almost five
weeks since I’d been away from home. Judging by the calls I received daily
from Luxolo and Lubabalo, it was clear that I had been gone for too long.
I didn’t want them to worry because if they did, they would start
digging about my whereabouts. I suppose that’s what family does, annoy
the shit out of you. Those two had been elevated to the position of fucking
annoying brothers.
I thought back to my companion I left at the hotel. I knew she was
not in any form of contraception and I had been reckless with her. A first for
me. I needed to bring her the morning-after pills again. Hopefully, they
worked. I couldn’t handle kids in my life; that would be a disaster. That’s
why I couldn’t even fathom how stupid I’ve been. Kids and marriage were
never on the cards for me.
The moment I walked through the penthouse, I picked up a different
scent. I knew it wasn’t Ndoni and it came to me the moment before I
spotted her sleeping on the couch. Kelly. The fuck! She still had her
luggage case next to the couch. I first looked around the hotel room and
there was no sign of Ndoni. Double fuck! I went back to the lounge area
and squatted in front of Kelly.
I watched her as she slept. This one is beautiful. That's why I was
attracted to her even though my gut told me not to mess with family, but I
was stupid enough to ignore my gut feeling, hurting her in the process. That
was the problem with most girls I hooked up with. I was always open and
upfront from the beginning. Sex was the only thing I offered. No strings, no
promises. I suppose me being kind and gentle to them was always mistaken
for something more and deeper. They always felt like they needed to change
me, tame me.
Now, with this one, it’s even more complicated. I hurt her. I hurt
Ryan. I love Ryan. He has crawled under my skin just as Lubah, Lux and
Vuyo did. Also, I’m super protective of him. Anyone who makes my
brother happy then I’m their loyal fan. To further complicate things, Lubah
and Ryan had both begged me not to mess with Kelly. However, at the time
my dick had refused to listen, and she had been a willing participant who
knew the terms. While I was still busy with my depressing thoughts her
eyes fluttered open. She smiled, revealing her dimples. There was a slight
resemblance to Ryan.
“Kells.” I was still squatting in front of her.
“Hey, Sanda.” She covered a yawn with her hand.
“What are you doing here?”
“I had a photoshoot here in PE and I remembered that the last time we spoke
you told me you were in PE. I kind of took a guess on where you’d be. This
is one of the best hotels here.” I needed to have a word with the hotel
security. How did they let someone come into my hotel suite without my
permission? She hooked her arms around my neck and pulled me closer as
she kissed me.
The kiss continued for a few minutes, then she pulled back. “That’s
why I came.” I unhooked her arms and stood while she sat up on the couch.
“Kelly, we spoke about this,” I gestured between us. “You know we
needed to end this arrangement. You are like family to me and I don’t want
this to get any messier than it already is.”
“We had fun together, didn’t we? How can you just switch those
feelings off?” I rubbed my face in frustration. She stood, running her hands
through her hair.
“That's the problem, you involved feelings. I don’t do feelings,
Kelly. Come on. You know this. I care about you deeply. More than you
realise. You deserve so much better than me. To be frank, I thought you
could handle the arrangement I was looking for. I guess I was wrong.” Her
eyes glistened with unshed tears. I moved closer to her and held her waist.
“It’s weird, you know. I also didn’t plan on falling for you.” I
winced at her words. “I know you never made promises. How am I
supposed to switch my feelings off, Sanda? I miss you all the time. I’m hurt
when I see you with someone else. I feel stupid because everyone warned
me not to mess with you and I didn’t listen.” One teardrop fell, and I wiped
it with my thumb. I didn’t want to deal with this.
“I’m sorry, babe. You know I didn’t mean to hurt you, right? I’m not
the man for you.” She nodded, and I kissed her forehead.
“I’m sorry I came unannounced. The lady that was here, your
friend’s girlfriend left. She said she was expected home. Where is your
friend?” She pulled away from me.
“They called each other. They are sorted.”
“I suppose I need to book myself another hotel room then.” I nodded
my head absently, already thinking of Ndoni and how far she could’ve
gone.
“Let me call reception to arrange it. They’ll add it to my account,” I
offered. “How many nights?”
“Just one. I’m done with my shoot.” I called reception and arranged
for her room and they told me they would bring her access card.
“What are you going to do?”
“I’m thinking of going to Ireland to visit my grandmother. That
should help me get over your sexy ass.” We both smiled.
There was a knock at the door, and I went to find the girl from
reception with the access card and I took it thanking her, I handed it to
Kelly. The moment she left for her room, I picked up my phone and called
one of my guys. When I checked the time, it was almost midnight. He
answered on the third ring.
“Sands.”
“Yo Terror! I need you to locate someone for me. I don’t have my
equipment on me.”
“Digits?”
“I would have done it already on my phone if I had them, bruh.”
“Hayi don’t bite my head off. Is it your latest flame?”
“Something like that,” I murmured. Somehow it didn’t feel right to
hear Ndoni referred to as the latest flame.
“Surname? Address?” I suppressed a groan.
“Shit! Terror! I only have the first name. I don’t even think it’s her
full name.”
“What's her name?”
“Ndoni.”
 “This isn’t a lot to go on Sands. There are probably thousands of
those.”
“Narrow it down to the PE tertiary institutions for fuck’s sakes. She is
twenty-two. She spoke about staying at res. I don’t know which one.”
“Do you ever ask them any personal questions?” he drawled.
“I will not dignify that with a response, Terror. Make it fast, dude. I
need to do damage control.”
“Like looking for a needle in a haystack,” he retorted. I hung up.
Like what the fuck do I do now? On top of everything else, I needed
to be in Joburg as soon as possible. There was nothing to do about any of
this at this time anyway, so I went to shower. When I got to the bedroom, I
noticed the clothes I bought for her were still there. She only took the coat
and sneakers. I guess she’d meant that no strings attached business. Her
behaviour in the club niggled at my conscience. It wasn’t every day a
woman gave her virginity to a stranger.
Her actions though afterwards lead me to believe that she was being
sincere when she said she had just wanted to get it over with. After I
showered, I went straight to bed. It smelled of her. I drifted off to sleep with
images of her smile, her carefree laughter and sometimes that haunting
forlorn expression on her face. I didn’t think she was even aware of it.

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 No choice but to deal with it

T hecatchfollowing day I was up at dawn and prepared to leave. I needed to

the first taxi home. The bus would be more expensive. It was a
chilly day and being on the streets so early didn’t help. I still wore the
coat I was wearing last night. It would be my favourite item in my suitcase,
maybe because Lusanda was the one who had bought it for me. The wait at
the taxi rank was uneventful except for selling my phone so I could make
extra money. On the long ride home, I made a promise to myself that I
would work hard and save as much as I could so I could study part-time. I
was still determined to get my degree and get the hell out of that place.
It was evening when I arrived home. I went straight to my room,
thankful that no one saw me. The room was stuffy, dusty, and dark. I took
the blanket and the duvet outside to beat the dust-off. I did the same with
the pillow and the bedsheet. How the mighty had fallen. Just a day ago I had
been sleeping in the most luxurious bedding ever and now I was back to
bedbug-ridden ones. The thought made me more determined though, now
that I had tasted the other side of life, I would do everything to win.
When I was satisfied that there were no bugs, I took my coat off,
crawled under the blankets and I fell asleep immediately.
People talking outside my room woke me; it sounded like my aunt and
uncle. I knew they would be sitting on the stoep. I needed to pee and there
was an outside toilet I used when I was home. I was dreading getting out of
the room to face them, but I had to go. Immediately when I went out, they
spotted me.
“Hawu. You are here!” My aunt didn’t bother to greet. “Then you
sleep until this time of the day? Who do you think will make us breakfast
while you’re busy snoring the day away?” I wanted to ask her who made
them breakfast when I wasn’t home, but I kept quiet. I had more pressing
matters and frankly, I was over reasoning with her. I went to pee, and the
toilet seemed like it was never cleaned. I carefully and quickly did what I
needed to do, then returned to my room to change. I found the kitchen
empty, my cousins nowhere in sight.
I made what I could for breakfast and served my aunt and uncle. It
was so easy to fall back to my routine as I cleaned the house afterwards.
While I was doing the chores, the chant in my head replayed like a loop. I
am better than this. I could be better than this. It was afternoon by the time
I was done slaving. With the supper already cooked, I took a bath then went
to the orphanage to visit Sis Dudu.
Sis Dudu and the kids were just as happy to see me as I was them. I
spent some time playing with the kids and catching up with her. When I was
alone with her, I told her what my plans were, and she promised to speak to
a few people to see if I could get a decent job. As decent as one could get in
a small town like Vryheid. She knew the local Spur manager, and she took
me with her to speak to him. It was almost evening when we found him still
at work.
He told me I could start the following Monday. The manager
couldn’t give me anything better than waitressing. He said I could prove
myself and work my way up. I would only get paid through tips. I took it.
There wasn’t anything I could do, and I needed the money. It was already
dark when I arrived home. My aunt spotted me before I could escape to my
room and called me to the house.
“Lalela we ngane just because you are at university doesn’t mean you will
come and go as you please in my house.”
“I’m sorry aunty I lost track of time.” I didn’t know why I was
apologising. Her daughters were still not home.
“While you were busy gallivanting, who do you think did your
chores?”
“I did everything I needed to do before I left aunty.”
“Are you talking back to me now? You think you are better than us.
If you feel you are an adult, then leave my house,” she spat.
“Leave your house to where aunty when you sold my family home!”
I snapped. Her eyes widened.
“Heh Magolwana. Uyayizwa lenjakazi ithini? Did you hear what the bitch
just said?” she referred to my uncle, who was strangely quiet and just
staring at me.
“Ufuna nje ibhande azokhumbula ukuthi ukhuluma nobani. She needs a
whipping to remind her who she speaking to,” he lazily responded after a
pause, his eyes running over me.
“Lalela la oe. Listen here. How do you think we could afford to care and
raise your skinny, ugly ass? Those precious parents of yours left you with
nothing but a disease. Do you think they were better than us?
They left you with nothing. If we didn’t sell that house how were
you going to live,” she said, her face contorted in anger. “Perhaps we
should've left you there to rot on your own, you ungrateful brat! Get out of
my sight!” What she said didn’t bother me. I’ve heard it before and more,
and I knew it for the lies it was.
I left for my room and tried to sleep, but it wouldn’t come. I kept
seeing a naughty smile and those sexy smiling eyes of his. I really needed to
get over that foolishness.

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 She didn’t need to be invisible to disappear

t had been a week since I left Port Elizabeth. A whole fucking week!
I Terror was coming up empty-handed on the search for Ndoni. How
difficult was it to locate a simple female? I’ve located harder targets in
less than ten minutes, but I was struggling to find Ndoni, who was probably
not making any effort to hide. I couldn’t dwell on that one issue for much
longer, I had more pressing issues to attend to in Joburg. To make matters
worse, I came back to find Lubabalo drowning in depression.
He is gay. Had been in the closet all his life until he fell in love. He
came out to us as his friends a few weeks ago. By some damn stroke of bad
luck, the media photographed him kissing his partner, Ryan, and when his
father saw the news, he had a stroke. The old man is a church leader and a
stubborn son of a bitch who believes that homosexuality is a sin. It was a
fucking mess! I don't know how Lubah and his sisters survived being raised
by him. It was his way or no way.
I heard that Lubabalo also broke things off with Ryan, which might
be the source of his dark mood. I think it was stupid to do that. How would
breaking things off help the situation? Frankly, I thought the love business
sucked. Those two behaved like they were each other’s oxygen. Very scary
in my opinion!
I would never want another human being to have that much power
over me. Never! Luxolo told me he had been struggling to get him out of
the house. He didn’t understand that in situations like these you had to
bulldoze your way through. Kidnap a person if you must. Which is what we
planned for Lubabalo. Of course, they wanted to know where I’ve been. I
couldn’t tell them. There were so many things they didn’t know about me
and I feared if they were ever to find out I might lose our friendship and
that was something I was not willing to lose or give up. It worked out better
if they didn’t know.
 Eventually, we got Lubah out of the house and into the club. Which
turned out to be a terrible mistake. His Blue was there with some dude and
he was trying to make Lubabalo jealous. It seemed to work too as Lubah
was like a raging bull and Ryan was a fire-spitting dragon – an amusing
sight. The drama the two caused blew the notion I had − that maybe dating
a man was less dramatic – out of the water.
We had to drag them out of the club while trying to separate them.
This solidified my decision to not commit to anyone. Once you do, they
think they own you or something. Nah. You can miss with that shit! After
dropping Luxolo off at home, I took Lubabalo to a pub to get him sloshed.
He needed to de-stress and forget about his issues just for one night.
I woke up with her on my mind. I needed to find Ndoni and have
some sort of contact with her in case she was pregnant. Terror had got hold
of the full name at least − Ndoniyamanzi Zwane. There was no mention of
parents or next of kin on her university application and files. The contact
number from her records yielded no result as we traced it to some phone
shop and that became a dead end. There was no home address, only that she
is from Vryheid. The Lelethu girl she was with at the club that day had no
clue about Ndoni’s life or her whereabouts. How did you stay with someone
for almost three years and not know where they come from, who their
parents were? Probably not a fair question considering the skeletons I have
in my closet. Anyway, I called off the search; I needed Terror this side. But
I intended to find her. I planned to return to PE when the lectures resumed
in a month. A phone call from a private number disturbed my thoughts.
“Ngcobo,” I cringed at my bark.
“Lusanda, you are running out of time.” He was even full of shit
over the phone. Hearing his voice generally pissed me off. It grated on my
nerves.
“I didn’t know someone out there had a scale of my time. I wonder
who keeps weighing. Is it you or your father?”
“Listen here you cocky bastard, I don’t have time and patience for
your shit. Your time is up!”
“Then you don’t know me very well. I don’t take orders from you or
your old man. You can both go to hell. Yeah, I said it, go to hell! No one
tells me what to do.” I cringed because I sounded like a petulant child.
“You will regret this, you son of a bitch!”
 “Hey now. Watch your tongue!” He hung up on me. I needed to find
this one before he found me. He knew how to hide. Last he was in East
London and then Port Elizabeth, but from both places, I came back with
nothing. However, he needed to know that no one messed with me and got
away with it. They would not back me into a corner. I went for a jog just to
get my mind off things. Life had a way of throwing curveballs. The Ndoni
one came at the wrong time in my life as I was in the middle of a shit storm.
The following weeks I had sleepless nights. The situation was
becoming uncontrollable. The bastards were sending threats. If he thought
he could blackmail me to do what he wanted me to do, he had another thing
coming. I just needed to get to him before he got to me. For that, I needed
more time and information. I worked well with collected data than I did
with people. My phone rang.
“Terror!”
“We spotted Doom in East London only for a short while and then
he left.”
“East London is such a small town. How did you guys miss him?”
“We think he has a woman that he comes to visit, but we haven’t
been able to locate or even identify her.”
“Again, how is that possible?” I tried to reign in my annoyance.
“He seems to work or connect nabo rhata.”
“We know already that these people have connections with the
government, but since when has that stopped us before?”
“I’ll keep you posted. Do you want me to send someone to Vryheid
to begin the search for the girl?”
“No. I’ll handle that myself when I have the time. Right now, we
need all our resources for this.”
“Ayt. Talk to you later!” He hung up. Doom and his father had been a pain
in my ass for far too long. It was time I put an end to it.

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 A dream within a dream

A few weeks passed since I began the waitressing job. It was not as busy
as I expected. Being winter and all, it seemed people preferred staying
indoors. However, the school kids and birthday parties still gave us
business. The tips were there, but not good enough. Black people haven’t
adjusted to the culture of tipping. I think they assume that the restaurants
pay a standard salary, which they should, but it couldn’t be further from the
truth. When I make it big and go to these restaurants, I’ll always give an
extra tip. I saved up some money though, even if it was nowhere near what
I needed for my tuition next year. I needed something better to do.
It was my day off, and I went to town to see if I couldn’t find
another job even if it was part-time, then I would have two jobs maybe that
could work. It had been a long day of rejection, but I didn’t give up. On my
last stretch, I walked into a medical centre and spoke to the lady at
reception and she told me that there was a vacant post and it was a part-time
post for four months.
They had a lady going on maternity leave, and the replacement that
was arranged had fallen ill. She sent me through to the manager who asked
for my CV. I had it with me. I impressed her with my experience, and she
said it showed that I was a hard worker. When she called my references,
they attested to that. It would be a data capturing and filing position. They
couldn’t put me on their system as this was someone else's permanent post,
and they still didn’t have the processes for hiring replacements. I would
work from 8 to 12 pm, Monday to Friday, this meant I could arrange to
work from afternoons at Spur. Something I didn’t think the manager would
have an issue with.
 “If it isn’t Miss Ugly University,” Thabile shouted as soon as I
arrived home. They had figured out that I wasn’t returning to university and
that had seemed to make their year. The ridiculing turned to include my
colossal failure. They all laughed at her joke. I just shook it off and
continued to the kitchen to start on dinner.
“You went all the way to the other side of the country to prove how
stupid you are,” Zinhle added to the spice as they all cackled. I carried on
with my duties as if I wasn’t there.
“She thought she was better than you two. Just like her father, he
thought he was all that because he finished school and started working. He
wouldn’t even give me a cent when I asked him for money. Who let their
siblings suffer when they could help? You are just like him. I haven’t even
seen a cent of your money since you started working,” my aunt said in
disgust.
“There is no money at the restaurant Aunty. I just started there, and
they don’t pay me a salary.”
Thabile burst into laughter, “You are actually following your dream
of being a kitchen maid.” She clapped once.
“Yazi Thabile, you are the one to talk. What are you two good at besides
sleeping with every broke man that proposes to you? Hayi suka
ningazozenza bahle ngami. Don’t make yourselves look better than me. You
are worse! At least I’m doing something for myself!” I had enough, and I
felt my body tremble as my anger got the best of me.
“Eh, you’ve grown a spine, I see. Listen here girly, you will not
speak like that in my own home. This is not your home. You are nothing
here. You are jealous because no man is showing interest in your ugly face.
Who would want that? They would wake up having nightmares!” Zinhle
responded with her nose flaring. I didn’t have to listen to that, I just turned
and walked away, abandoning the cooking. They could eat grass for all I
cared.
“Heyi wena! Where do you think you’re going? Who will cook?” my aunt
screamed.
“You have two grown-ass daughters, let them cook,” I said that
walking to my room with their insults following me.
The following day I arranged my working hours at Spur, the
manager allowed me to work afternoon shifts. When Monday came, I woke
up early, got ready and then left. I would not to be a slave for other people
anymore; that ship had sailed. I realised that I didn’t have enough clothes to
wear for a proper job. It was almost winter, and I needed warmer clothing, I
banked that for later though.
My first day at the medical centre was not bad. It was the pregnant
lady’s last day. I took as many notes as I could as she oriented me with all
that I needed to do. By the end of my shift, I was familiar with most things.
Two weeks into my job, things were still going well. The restaurant
was also picking up as it was warmer, with people going out more. I made
some good money on tips. My aunt tried to wiggle her way into my money,
but I refused. I woke up every morning and went to work with the change
of clothes for later.
They hardly saw me at home, and that worked for me. I reserved
Saturday mornings for the orphanage. Sundays I rested in the morning and
then later I would go to work. My days were always busy, but since I’d
known hard work from as long as I could remember, it didn’t faze me.
I deposited my money for tips at an ATM almost every day. I didn’t
want to keep cash at home; I was sure those witches searched my room
when I wasn’t around. I lived on the bare minimum and saved as much as I
could. My aunt wanted me to contribute to the rent and food, and I refused.
I’d stopped cooking and cleaning and that resulted in me not getting any
meals. Strangely, I was okay with that. When month-end came, and I saw
my bank balance, my heart rejoiced. My hard work was paying off. It might
not be much to some, but to me, it was a step towards achieving my goals.
When I went to bed, I would fall asleep immediately before my head
hit the pillow. I didn’t even need to daydream to fall asleep anymore
because my body was constantly fatigued. It was in the middle of the night
when I startled from my sleep by a strange sound. Discomfort slid down my
spine when I felt someone in the room. I kept my eyes tightly closed,
wishing them away like a bad dream. Then I heard heavy breathing coming
from the foot of my bed. I was brave and cracked my eyes open. To my
horror and surprise, my uncle was in the room. The candle was lit, and he
had my bottom half revealed with my thighs exposed. He was concentrating
on them while he had his cock in his hand, stroking himself. Icy fear settled
in my lower belly, and then its tentacles spread up my chest until it clogged
my throat. I willed my body to not react. What if I woke up, and he saw me
and raped or killed me? I pretended to still be asleep as I felt warm liquid
splash over my thighs. Bile rose in my throat as I vomited in my mouth. I
remained still as he carefully wiped me off with his shirt and then pulled the
blanket over me.
“So ripe. Ready for the picking. One day soon,” he whispered while
fixing his clothes. He put the candle out and carefully left the room. My
heart was thudding so hard against my chest I feared he would hear me.
When I was sure he was gone I got up and moved my suitcase and the chair
against the door. I needed to hear if that devil came back again. I needed to
move out, I no longer felt safe.
The following day after work, 1eforee I went to Spur, I went past the
orphanage. I needed a place in the meantime until I got a place to live. I
know they only allowed kids up to a certain age, but I really needed her to
make an exception for just a short period.
She actually had a better plan for me as she had an RDP house at
Emadoshini ready for occupation. They usually reserved those for older
kids that couldn’t be housed at the orphanage. I asked for an afternoon off
from work and went to pack the few belongings I had, then went to buy a
few necessities I would need. I didn’t tell any of my family I was moving
and would never see them again if I could help it.
A week after I moved, the house looked and felt like a home to me.
The best part was that it was close to town, so I walked to work and there
was a group of us who stayed around the same area so we all arranged
common transport that dropped us off in the evenings and the price was
reasonable. The only thing that continued to trouble me was fatigue. I was
constantly tired and having headaches. I put it down to holding two jobs. It
was bound to take its toll on me, but I didn’t let it slow me down. This life
was not for the weak. It was the battle, and only the fittest survived. I am a
survivor. I believed one day I would conquer.

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 Fleeting memories
was on my way to fetch Lubabalo from the airport. He had just landed
I from looking for Ryan in Brazil. After their breakup, Ryan had left the
country to escape and to get to know his newly found siblings.
Apparently, when he got there, Ryan had already left. How hectic could
love be? I couldn’t imagine flying all over the world looking for someone.
If they wanted you, then they stayed. I thought back to my two days with
Ndoni. She was the first woman that I’d felt content with being around. She
got me. There was no expectation from her.
I was me and she was being herself. A male version of me, I
supposed. I wondered how much of that was because of self-preservation. I
prided myself in my ability to read people, but Ndoni wasn’t as easy to. I
was waiting at the arrivals hall when I spotted Lubah walking out, looking
like he carried the weight of the world on his hunched shoulders.
“Why are you coming back empty-handed? Where is your Blue?” I
asked as he reached me grabbing his bag.
“By the time I got there he was gone. No one knows where he is, and his
phone was off the whole day yesterday.” I led him to my car and drove in
silence until we reached his house.
Once inside the house I asked for Ryan’s contact details. He
frowned at my request but didn’t question me. I told him to go freshen up
and rest a bit. I went to the kitchen and cooked lunch, then I went on my
phone and tracked Ryan. Through his ID, I found his passport number and
Visa. I could trace his exit out of Brazil and his next country entry. I located
him in Argentina with his travel companions. I waited for Lubah to wake
up. While waiting, I received a text message.
Unregistered number: You are one stubborn mother fucker. Don’t say
we didn’t warn you. If I were you, I’d come willingly. But you have
forced my hand.
The number of course was untraceable. The fucker was too sleek.
Lubabalo came down while I contemplated going out.
“I thought you’d be gone by now.” He looked miserable. It was
sickening.
“Are you up for another trip, but to Argentina this time?” He looked
up, then raised his eyebrows. I placed the plate of pasta before him.
“What for?” He dug in his food.
“That's where your Blue is at.” He perked up.
“How did you find out?”
“I have my ways. Eat up!”
“Alright.” He grabbed his phone. “Let me book a flight.”
“Already done. Your flight is leaving in two hours.” We ate in
silence, and I could tell that he only did to appease me. His mind was
already on his impending journey.
I drove to the airport, and as soon as I entered the freeway, I noticed
two nondescript vans following us. A sense of unease settled in my chest.
The fuckers meant business as they stayed on my tail. My dread increased
as I glanced at the oblivious Lubabalo. He didn’t deserve to get caught in
my shit. If they took me, then they wouldn’t leave him behind. I knew for
sure they wanted me alive, and him not so much. I needed to get off the
freeway because the longer the chase continued; we were likely to cause an
accident and endanger more people. Something else I couldn’t have on my
conscience.
“Are we late?” Lubabalo asked, concerned. I didn’t answer but
accelerated. The moment I took the nearest off-ramp, they were right on my
tail. That’s when I decided we needed to fight because I could see them
getting ready to shoot at us. “Dude this is not the way to the airport! And
why are we speeding?” His voice rose. I silently swore when I saw their
intention to drive us off the road.
“Lubah.” My voice was calm and measured, contrasting the storm
inside my head. “Press the button under your seat,” I added firmly.
“What button? What for? What’s going on, Lusanda!” He was
panicked.
“Just fucking do it and stop questioning me!” I urged. He did as
instructed, and his seat opened to different compartments. “Take the
smallest gun you can handle.”
 “I don’t know how to use a gun!” My heart went out to him, but I
didn’t have time to soothe his fears.
“It’s time you learned.” I reached over and picked one gun and gave
it to him, then took one for myself. “Hold tight and don’t jerk. All you have
to do is aim and pull the trigger.” His hands shook. “Look behind us, those
two vans are following us.” His head whipped to the back. “We can’t afford
to have them catch up to us. When I say shoot you do it. There is no time to
panic Lubah.” I pinned him with my eyes and hoped that relayed the gravity
of the situation. He nodded his head, his brow covered in a sheen of sweat.
“Start shooting!”
A sting of pain seared my arm. “Fuck Lubabalo shoot outside! The
other car on your side.” He blindly aimed to the other side as I took care of
the one van on my side. I was purely operating on adrenaline with one
single purpose, getting Lubabalo out of this. We took them out, followed by
a deafening silence thereafter. I let out a relieved laugh. “It’s over, you did
well!”
I glanced at him, then found him hunched over in his seat. A spot of
blood spreading on his side. An icy fist gripped my heart and twisted. I
quickly parked on the side. “Shit Lubah, they’ve shot you. Stay with me.”
His head rolled backwards as he passed out. I took off my shirt and placed it
on his seeping wound, putting pressure on it. I called Des to inform him of
the situation, and that he should get ready. I drove like a maniac to the
hospital, fear gripping my throat I could barely breathe. The moment we
arrived at the hospital; Des was already up-front waiting with medical
assistance. My blood covered hands shook as I followed them inside the
hospital. I couldn’t lose Lubabalo, not like this.
I waited outside the emergency room after they had looked at my
arm and it was only a flesh wound. I called Luxolo, then Ryan. I told
everyone that it was an attempted hijacking. I knew that the story wouldn’t
hold water when Lubabalo woke up, but that was the best I could come up
with. It was the longest twenty-four hours of my life. Fortunately, they took
the bullet out and stopped the bleeding. Ryan arrived from Argentina within
twelve hours of finding out.
When Lubabalo came to, he demanded answers and I couldn't give
them any without compromising them or myself and I feared for the
damage it was causing to our relationship. That’s when I decided that it was
best to disappear for a while. I needed to get to that bastard Dumisani
before he caused more damage to my family. I caught a break in my search
when I cracked open a file they had sealed so tightly even the top
government agencies wouldn’t have opened it. Armed with leverage, I sent
Dumisani a message.
Me: You fuck with my friends; you dig your own grave. Back off and
tell that father of yours to back off.
Him: This is not over!
For now, it was.
A few days later I checked on Lubabalo, and it relieved me to find
out he was doing well and recovering. Lubabalo had called bullshit on the
hijacking story, and I knew it was a matter of time before they demanded
answers. On the other side, the pressure to find Ndoni grew. Even with the
chaos that had been surrounding me, I couldn’t get her out of my mind. Her
smile haunted me and then that sad look on her face that pulled at my
heartstrings and made me want to protect her. But I shut down that line of
thought every time it infiltrated my mind.
I did the checks myself this time. She opened her bank account in
Port Elizabeth. It had the university address. I had found out already that
she dropped out. Apparently, she had failed some modules and the bursary
wouldn't continue sponsoring her. That saddened me. Had I known that
when she was with me, I would have paid for her.
Ndoni struck me as a proud person, though. I would have needed to
do it without her knowing. My concern grew when I dug into her
background and found out she was an orphan who was taken in by her aunt
from a young age. Fortunately, they still lived in the same house she grew
up in. That’s when I took a drive to Vryheid and damage control. I hoped
for her sake and mine that she wasn’t pregnant.

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 The Township Bicycles

I thave
took me a few hours to get to Vryheid. A small town which seemed to
one main road. I drove straight to her aunt's place using the
GPS, and
it was easy enough to find it. I parked in front of their yard and slowly
exited the car. The blistering heat immediately assaulted me, and the humid
air didn’t provide any reprieve. I quickly scanned the place and my eyes
landed on a big woman who was sitting with a small timid looking man
upfront in the shade under the tree.
Considering that it was already in the afternoon I found it strange
that she would still be in her nightdress and her huge boobs were just
sagging and threatening to burst through the thin material.
“Sanibonani.” I raised my hands to show respect, moving closer to where
they sat.
“Yebo.” They both watched me with curious eyes.
“My name is Lusanda. I’m looking for Ndoniyamanzi Zwane.”
They glanced at each other, then the man’s gaze darted away from mine
while the lady lifted her nose in disgust. A move which immediately had my
hackles up.
“Why are you looking for her?” The uncle finally met my gaze,
raising his pants revealing his ashy calves.
“I’m an old friend, I was in town, thought I should come and see
how she is doing.” My instinct told me not to trust these people.
“Old friend from Joburg?” Irritation prickled beneath my skin at her
raised insolent tone.
“We met while she was in PE.” I stood in the glaring sun and found it rude
that they didn’t even offer a seat. Not that I would’ve taken it but that
besides the point.
 “Are you her blesser or something?” The lady continued, her
derision clear in her tone.
I pasted a smile on my face, “As I said, ma’am, I’m an old friend.” I had
reached my polite quota for the day “Is she around? May I please talk to
her?” My eyes flicked past them towards the house hoping to spot her but
instead, two girls who looked like the township bicycles came out of the
house in outfits that made them look like underpaid prostitutes.
They both greeted, giggled, and batted their eyelashes as they joined
us, making their intention towards me clear. I looked at them coolly and
asked them of Ndoni’s whereabouts. They seemed put off by my
indifference and glanced at their mother.
“Leso sifebe left home to stay with her boyfriend.” The aunt folded her arms
above her generous chest, as hot white anger burned through me at her
calling Ndoni names. “When she started working, she thought she was too
good for us. We don’t even know where she lives.”
“Do you perhaps have her numbers?” I asked, my patience gone.
“No, she left like a thief in the night. Ungrateful bitch. I took her in
when she was a little girl and she didn’t even have the decency to say
goodbye.” She must have had her reasons, I thought as the aunt continued
to spew venom. “Sit down son, while the girls make you some
refreshments. You must be tired coming from Joburg.” Her demeanour
softened.
“Not really and I’ll pass on the refreshments, thank you.” I clipped,
ready to leave.
“Maybe one of my daughters can show you around.” She suggested
a hopeful hint to her tone. “Help you look for Ndoni? It might be difficult
for a man such as yourself to navigate the squatter camps,” she continued,
her calculating eyes watching me.
“That won't be necessary. I’m a very resourceful man. I doubt if any
of your daughters would be of use to me. Thank you for the information. I’ll
be on my way then.” She looked put out. I turned and walked towards my
car before I reached the gate, one of the girls came running.
“Hi. I’m Thabile. Ndoni’s cousin. Are you her boyfriend or
something?” I looked at her light skin that needed more nurturing, and the
short dress she wore wasn’t as flattering as she might have thought. I
wondered if they had something against wearing bras as a family.
 “How is that any of your business?” I asked not hiding my
annoyance, “I came here to look for her and not to engage in stupid chit
chats.” She took a step backwards, not very sure of herself anymore.
Frankly, I was more surprised by my reaction, I was not one to be easily
ruffled or cared much about what women wore, however, something about
the place had the hairs at the back of my neck standing. My gut told me that
there was never love for Ndoni in that house, and that had my heart
clenching painfully.
“I thought maybe you could give me your numbers and if I see her, I
will call you,” she continued. She had guts. I’d give her that.
“Nice try, sweetheart. You are not my type. I don’t do desperate.”
With that, I left her there with her jaw hanging.
I drove to the medical centre which I thought maybe should’ve been
my first step. When I got there, they told me she’d already knocked off, but
the lady was kind enough to tell me she’d gone to her second job at Spur.
So, she worked two jobs? My heart constricted at the reminder of how
difficult life might be for her.
It was almost evening when I drove to Spur. I spotted her the
moment I walked into the place. My eyes were immediately drawn to her,
and I felt my heart rate pick up. I stood and watched her for a few seconds
as she moved around in her graceful posture, between tables taking orders.
My eyes trailed over her slim figure and rested on the swell of her butt, and
I felt a stirring in my pants as images of her writhing under me flashed in
my head. I watched the glow on her beautiful dark skin and remembered
how smooth it had felt under my touch. How her entire body had trembled
as I brought her pleasure with my tongue.
She threw her head backwards and laughed at something one patron
said, and I recalled how she had looked with her head thrown back against
the pillow as she’d reached her climax. I must have looked like a stalker as
I watched her going back and forth between the tables. She smiled at her
customers and made small talk here and there. Moving with ease and
making people she spoke to feel welcome. One waiter approached me, and I
asked him what time Ndoni would knock off and he told me at ten in the
evening.
I didn’t want to disturb her at work, so I went to the B&B that I had booked
to shower and change. I needed food, but Spur wasn’t my kind of place. I
looked for a proper restaurant and considering the town I was in, I didn’t
think I would find a decent one, but I did. My mind kept thinking about
Ndoni and what kind of childhood she must have had. I never got much
from her in the time that we had spent together, but the little she had shared
with me told me she was proud, smart and a survivor. I wondered what kind
of things she had had to survive. Judging from the family I met earlier, it
couldn’t have been good. I settled my bill at the restaurant and drove back
to Spur. I parked up front and waited for her until she knocked off.
There were a few cars parked in front of the restaurant including, a
minibus taxi which I assumed was some form of common transport. A
group of them came out of Spur chatting loudly and she followed them
closely behind. Just as I was about to exit the car, I saw one guy getting off
his Polo and approaching the group. He immediately separated Ndoni from
them while blocking her path at the same time. My first thought was that it
was the boyfriend the aunt had mentioned, and a wave of jealousy coursed
through me. Then when I looked back and saw her stiff posture and the way
she kept pulling her arm away, violent anger tore through me unexpectedly.
I shoved my car door open and strode towards them.
“I believe the lady asked you to let go of her arm. I would do as she
asked if I were you.” Two things happened: Mr Polo looked back at me in
annoyance and Ndoni let out a loud gasp, her eyes widening like saucers on
her gorgeous face. I forgot my anger as my heart beat wildly against my
chest. Everything else but her, fading in the background.

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 Furious Fuck
had just come out of Spur ready to go home when this guy who had been
I pestering for my numbers earlier came running and grabbing my arm in a
painful grip. He was offering me a lift home, and I found it creepy that he
waited all this time, so I refused and pulled my hand out of his grasp. When
I was about to walk away, he grabbed my arm tight begging me to
reconsider. I was on the verge of panic when I heard the one voice; I
thought I would never hear again. My whole body trembled as shock
coursed through my veins. What was he doing here, in Vryheid, at my
workplace?
“Do I need to repeat myself?” His chilled tone sent chills down my
spine and I felt the tight grip on my arm loosen. My eyes drank him in as he
stood, fists clenched at his side, looking dark and dangerous in his black
sweatpants, black hoodie, and sneakers. The guy holding my arm took a
step backwards but didn’t release me.
“This is not your business. Please stay away from me and my
girlfriend’s relationship,” the man said. Lusanda looked at me with his one
eyebrow raised. I shook my head in response.
“Dude. Go.” The icy tone had me shivering and the guy turned and
scurried towards his car. Then Lusanda turned and looked at me with an
intense look, like he was trying to read me. I could see the people in my
periphery impatiently waiting for me. “Hello, beautiful.” That brought me
back to earth like an ice bucket of water had been thrown over me.
“Hello, Lusanda.” That came out almost like a whisper. The shock
of seeing still hadn’t worn off.
“No hug?” He opened his arms wide expectantly, his lips turning
into his signature smile. I thought about it for only a second, then slowly
moved towards his arms. I wrapped my arms around his waist as he
enveloped me around my shoulders. I felt home. The surrounding noise
quieted. My heart thudded against my chest as his familiar scent invaded
my senses. We stood locked in each other arms for a few minutes until a
hooter sounded. I reluctantly pulled apart from his warm embrace. “Come,
I’ll take you home.” I nodded. “Is that a yes?”
“Yes,” I whispered.
I told the transport guys that I wasn’t travelling with them that night. Then
he walked me towards the black G Wagon that was parked close to us. We
were quiet except for me giving him directions to my place. I wondered if
he ever set foot in an RDP house before, but it didn’t bother me, it was my
home and I was not ashamed of it. He kept glancing at me, and I was
suddenly feeling shy about how I looked. Was my wild afro hair behaving
under the protective hairstyle? What did he think of the well-worn uniform
that I had on? A bead of sweat trickled down my spine as my nerves grew.
He looked like he had just stepped out of a glossy fashion magazine while I
looked like a frumpy maid next to him.
“Is it always this dark and quiet when you come home?” he asked,
looking around after parking close to the door. The house didn’t have a
fence yet.
“The taxi drops me off in front of the house,” I explained. He came
around to open the door for me, I would have opened if it weren’t locked. I
could feel him close behind me as I unlocked the house and switched on the
lights. With him inside my house was suddenly too tiny and shabby. It had a
small kitchen combined with a seating area. Just a second-hand couch. A
small built-in cupboard. There was a door with a toilet and a shower and
then the other door was my room. He stood in the middle of the room,
hands inside the pockets on his hoodie, looking around the place. I went to
switch on the kettle to keep myself busy.
“Would you like some tea?” I had no other options.
“Yes, please.” He smiled at me and my heart lurched in my chest.
“Please sit.” He looked ridiculous as he folded his tall frame on my tiny
couch. We were quiet again as I busied myself in the kitchen. I was
suddenly awkward and clumsy. I remembered from PE that he’d drank his
coffee with milk. I assumed it was the same with tea. I finished making the
tea and took both cups and walked to the couch. I had no choice but to sit
next to him.
 “Thank you.” He took his cup from me. “How are you, Ndoni?” he
asked behind the rim of a cup.
“I’m fine and how are you?” Such a polite conversation. I
suppressed a giggle at the thought.
“I’m good.” He sat back in the couch and the move caused his body
to shift closer to mine and warmth suffused my body. “I have been looking
for you everywhere. You left without saying goodbye.” Thinking about how
I left made me cringe.
“How did you find me?” He gave me the panty-dropping smile of
his and butterflies danced in my tummy.
“I have my ways. Why did you leave just like that?”
“Your girlfriend came, and I didn’t want to come between you two.
So, I made up a story and left,” I shrugged.
“She is not my girlfriend.” His eyes are scrutinising me.
“No? That's not what she told me.”
“She was a friend. She is still a friend,” he grimaced. “We just had
an arrangement, but it’s over.”
“No need to explain your arrangements to me.”
“So where is the boyfriend you live with?” I frowned.
“What boyfriend?”
“Your aunt told me you left home to live with your boyfriend.” I
bristled at the mention of my aunt and wondered what other lies they fed
him.
“That was never my home. There is no boyfriend,” I yawned. I was
tired. I’m not sure how I stayed up till this time, as I usually got home to
pass out.
“You look exhausted. Do you come home at this time every day?”
“Yep, pretty much.” He nodded as he sat in contemplative silence
drinking his tea.
“Do you mind if I stay over?” Where? My bed was big enough for
one person. I only had one duvet cover, no blanket to sleep on the sofa.
“I don’t think that will be possible.”
“Please?” He turned a pleading face toward me. “Or come with me to the
B&B I’m booked at.” The thought of me having to drive somewhere else was
not really appealing, and I knew he wouldn’t give up. I had zero energy to
argue with him.
 “Okay. You can stay,” I agreed grudgingly as he grinned. I took his
empty cup and rinsed them. “The bathroom is that way and the bedroom
this way.” I pointed at the different doors. I suppose I needed to take a quick
shower because Mr Gorgeous here smelled fresh and I, on the other hand,
smelled like fried onion rings. “I’m taking a quick shower.” He nodded. I
went through the bathroom, I quickly showered and wrapped myself in a
towel to my room. My lotion was in there. I found him lying on the bed
with his feet dangling over. He looked so out of place on that bed, it was
almost funny. He had taken his hoodie and sneakers off along with his
socks.
My eyes flicked down to his beautiful feet and wondered if he was
God’s favourite. He was busy on his phone and I took the advantage to
apply lotion quickly and get into my short pyjamas. When I turned around,
he was looking at me with an unmistakable look of hunger in his eyes. My
eyes went down on their own accord to his pants and there was a visible
bulge there and my eyes snapped to his.
“You can’t give me a show like that and expect me not to react,” he
smirked.
“I’ll sleep on the couch.” I turned to leave. He sprung to his feet and
blocked my way.
“It’s either you sleep on this bed or I take you to the B&B. You choose.” He
challenged with his eyebrows raised. My shoulders sagged. “It’s settled
then come. I don’t bite.” He took off his sweatpants and t-shirt. My cookie
danced as I watched his ripped muscles move. He opened the covers and
got under, then opened for me. Nerves skittered down my spine as I moved
towards the bed. I slid under the covers and I laid stiffly on my back as he
lay on his side balanced with his elbow while looking at me.
“Why are you so nervous?” I clutched the duvet tighter against my
chest.
“I’m not.” My voice came out sharp.
“I’m going to kiss you.” I didn’t have time to respond. He bent
down and ran his tongue over the seam of my lips when I let out a gasp as
his tongue dipped inside me. My whole body lit up like wildfire. I hooked
my arms around his neck and brought him down. The kiss became heated as
his body sank into mine. He struggled to take my pyjamas bottoms off and I
helped him do it. I don’t know when his body shorts came off. I only felt his
heavy, hot, hard length trailing warm liquid across my thighs. My hands
touched him everywhere I could.
His one hand came between us and slid down my belly until it
reached the apex of my thighs. I could feel the moisture seeping out of my
centre. We both moaned as his fingers separated my wet folds, my back
arching off the bed at the contact. I needed him and I lifted my hips,
desperate for the friction from his fingers.
I let out a whimper when he withdrew his fingers but then I felt the
head of his erection at my entrance, I opened my legs wider as he drove into
me in a single thrust. I wrenched my lips from him and let out a loud cry
while he rested his head on my shoulders and began driving into me as a
man possessed. I clung to his shoulders as his fingers dug into my thighs,
both of us chasing our orgasms.
“Fuck! You feel so good,” he growled against my ear. I wanted to tell him
he felt glorious, but words wouldn’t come, I showed him with my body as I
met his thrusts with my own. If I could package the feeling of him inside of
me and sell it, I would be a billionaire.
My climax tore through my body like an explosion of fireworks, and
my toes curled around his back. He wasn’t too far behind as he railed me
into the mattress in hard choppy thrusts, I felt his body shuddering above
me. The last thing I noticed was the sounds of our combined sharp breaths
as sleep claimed me

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 The Invisible Strings

T hefewsounds of someone vomiting woke me from a sleep I’d only caught a

hours ago. When I got my bearings, I remembered I was in Ndoni’s
bed. I sprang to my feet and ran towards the bathroom. I found her
naked with her head buried inside the toilet while she puked her guts out. I
knelt behind her, pulled the braided pony part of her hair out of the way, and
brushed her back. A flicker of unease wormed its way in.
“Get out.” She barely finished, then she was vomiting again.
“Lusanda come on don’t−” She heaved.
“Don't waste your breath; I’m not going anywhere.” I sat with her
until she had emptied all the contents from her stomach and heaved nothing
but air. I flushed the toilet. She sat back on her heels. Her shoulders
hunched over as her chest rose and fell. There were bags under her eyes,
probably from lack of sleep. I brought her a glass of water. She rinsed her
mouth then stood, her body swaying. I grabbed her arm to help steady her.
She pulled out a spare toothbrush and handed to me, then brushed her teeth.
“Why do you have a new spare toothbrush?” The burst of jealousy
that flared from within was unexpected. It seemed that was all that I’d been
doing whenever I was around her, the unexpected.
“Just in case I lose mine,” she shrugged.
“It’s Saturday today, are you going to work?”
“Only in the afternoon. Why?”
“We need to take you to the doctor.” It was fucking distracting
talking to her naked.
“I’m not sick Lusanda. Probably a bug, it goes away after I vomit.”
My sense of unease compounded.
“Ndoni, it’s not normal for someone to wake up vomiting.”
“I don’t have money or medical aid to go to a doctor. I’ll check at
work on Monday if I get a staff discount or something, then I’ll get checked
out.” I felt my heart clenching and wondered where the emotions that
swirled through me came from.
“I’ll pay for it.” Her lips tightened as she looked at me. Then she
stormed out of the bathroom.
“I said I’ll go on Monday, Lusanda.” I suspected she could be
pregnant, and I wasn’t about to take chances with her safety or that of the
baby. I shut down the panic that rose and threatened to drive me over the
edge at the thought of a baby and what that would mean for both of us.
I followed her back to the bedroom. My mind seemed to short
circuit every time my eyes landed on her naked form. Her dark slim frame
and sexy curves in all the right places called to me on a primal level. I
wanted to claim it, own it, and do all sort of crazy shit to it. I think God
took His time when He created her. I looked up and found her eyes on me.
The eyes that show her strength, courage, determination, stubbornness, and
a will to live. The stubborn tilt of her chin had me sighing. She wouldn’t be
easy to convince.
“When last did you have your period?” She blinked a couple of
times, then myriads of emotions swirled in her eyes. I could see them play
out in her head as she went from thinking hard about it, remembering,
confirming and then the realisation. The next thing I saw were tears silently
falling like a river stream on her face. My heart turned over and clenched at
the sight of her tears. I realised then that I never wanted to see her cry
again.
“But you said those pills would stop the pregnancy.” Her small
voice pained me, reminding me of her innocence. The innocence that I’d
taken with no regard for her welfare. “You lied to me! How could you do
that to me?”
“I didn’t lie. You didn’t take them the second time when we didn’t
use protection. You must take them after not before.” She had a wild look in
her eyes as her tears continued to fall. My arms itched to hold her, but her
stiff posture and the clenching and unclenching of her fists told me to stay
the fuck away. She looked ready to murder me.
“I can't be pregnant,” she whispered as she began pacing the small
space.
“You might be already. I think you are.”
“No, this can’t be happening to me. I can’t be. No, I can’t. I am
stupid after all. They were right. I’m the dumbest person ever to live.” The
words spilt out of her.
“You are not stupid. If anyone is stupid, it’s me. I was the careless
one Ndoni.” She seemed lost in her head as she continued to pace.
“I can’t keep it!” What!
“What do you mean, you can’t keep it?”
“I’m not three months as yet I could go to a clinic−”
“Don’t fuck with me, Ndoni.” I felt the heat start around my
temples, then spread through my scalp.
“It’s not your decision to make.” She whirled around to face me. I
pinned her with a look that had her stumbling backwards until I was caging
her against the wall.
“You will not get rid of my baby Ndoniyamanzi!” My
possessiveness suddenly felt like a living and breathing thing beneath my
skin.
“It’s my body! My decision.” Her nostrils flared as her eyes
sparkled with renewed fire.
“You do anything to that baby Ndoni I swear to God I’ll kill you. It’s
not a threat, but a promise!” She tried to push me out of the way. I grabbed
her shoulders and held her still, her heaving bare chest proving a distraction
even in the middle of a shit storm.
“I guess you’re going to have to kill me then.” She pushed me hard
against my chest. I smashed my lips on hers in an angry and punishing kiss.
When she let out a shocked gasp, it allowed me to shove my tongue into her
mouth. She responded as the kiss turned carnal, teeth and tongue clashing. I
fumbled with my body shorts as I pulled them down. I picked her up,
wrapped her legs around my waist as I rammed into her. She screamed
against my mouth. Her muscles gripped me tighter as I tunnelled in and out
of her. A furious fuck.
“Fuck Ndoni!” Her cries of pleasure fuelled mine. We both crashed
and burned at the same time as our bodies exploded. I remained inside of
her, both of us letting out harsh breaths.
“Put me down!” I did but held her waist as she gained her balance.
“You are not aborting my baby!” I was still angry, but less horny. I
didn’t know how long the reprieve would last for with her still naked.
“We don’t even know if I’m pregnant!” she huffed.
“Let’s go to a doctor then and find out,” I insisted.
 “I’m in no position to have a baby Lusanda.” Energy seeped out of
her as her shoulders sagged.
“Financially we are. You know I can take care of you and the baby.
It’s the timing that’s not right, but that can't be helped. We made this baby.
We must protect him or her. We are going to be parents whether or not we
like it.” Christ, if I was being honest, I was also freaking out; shit scared,
but abortion was not an option.
“That's the thing Lusanda. I don’t want a man to take care of me.
I’m not ready to bring another human being in this world, and I refuse to be
bullied into it.” She shook her head.
“Let’s go see the doctor first, then we will discuss this further.” She nodded,
not because she agreed but because I wore her down. We got ready to go. I
still wore the same clothes I wore the previous night. She wore a simple
floral dress and sandals. She waited in the car for me as I went to change
inside my room at the B&B.
There were no specialists available in Vryheid, only GP’s, but I wanted a
specialist and it became more challenging because it was a Saturday. That
meant we had to drive to a private hospital, which was two hours away. I
made a stop on the way so we could have something to eat.
“Let’s have breakfast,” I said, unbuckling my seat belt.
“I’m not hungry.” She honestly would test the patience of a saint,
make that a Buddhist.
“Well, I am. So, you can watch me eat.” I pushed the door open and
got out and she did the same her lips pursed in a pout. Once seated at the
breakfast place, I ordered for both of us and ignored the murdering looks
she threw at me. The fire in her eyes had me my dick swelling in my pants
and I considered my reaction around her tantamount to a medical condition.
It wasn’t normal to continue to burn with need for someone the way I did
for Ndoni.
“Are you ok?” I asked as soon as the waitress left our table.
“No, I’m not ok Lusanda. I don’t appreciate your high handedness
over me. Just because you have the money you think you can come and
decide for me? I’ve been doing fine for the past twenty-two years. I don’t
need you to come into my life and play saviour. Deciding about my life.
Who the hell do you think you are?” she breathed out, her voice shaking
with anger while I tried to reign mine in.
 “The father of that baby you’re carrying?”
“You don’t even know for sure I’m pregnant!” I sighed.
“Ndoni please eat, just a little.” Our food arrived soon after, and I
was pleased to see her eating. When we finished the meal and settled the
bill, she said nothing else but stood and headed towards the car. When I
asked if she needed snacks for the road, she only shook her head without
turning. I went to the convenient shop and bought the snacks anyway. As I
went into the car, I gave her the bag filled with snacks. She snatched it from
my hand and placed it by her feet. We drove in silence for a while, listening
to the music. When one of my favourite songs came on, I turned the volume
up and sang along. That seemed to capture her attention as she turned back
to me.
“Who sings this? I like it,” she asked, and I couldn’t help but crack a smile.
“Where have you been?” I clutched at my chest. “This was out
maybe three or four years ago?” She rolled her eyes at me and took out a
slab of chocolate from the plastic bag.
“I don’t listen to much radio and I don’t have a TV,” she shrugged, taking a
bite of her chocolate. I envied the chocolate as I watched her wrapping her
lips around the decadent treat. I felt the move straight to my dick.
“It’s Major Lazer with a bunch of other people.” I watched her savour the
bite of chocolate in her mouth, her eyes closed as she let out a throaty hum.
“I thought you didn’t want anything.” I couldn’t resist. Her eyes flew open,
and she gave me a side look.
I appreciated the fact that they immediately booked us in to consult with a
gynaecologist the moment we arrived at the Medi Clinic, considering we
didn’t have an appointment. We only had a few minutes to wait in a vacant
consultation room.
“Good morning Mr and Mrs Ngcobo, I’m Dr Singh.” I didn’t correct the
shorter man with kind eyes as he walked in, closing the door behind him.
“We’re not married.” Ndoni didn’t have the trouble of correcting him,
though.
“My apologies, Miss…” he looked at her expectantly.
“Zwane,” she clipped. I suspected that her annoyance was directed towards
me.
“Miss Zwane, what can I do for you today?” his eyes darted between the
two of us.
“We would like to have a pregnancy test done,” I responded. The doctor
nodded and asked the mandatory questions, then sent us for blood and urine
samples. I also took that as an opportunity to have my blood tests done, if
only to satisfy Ndoni of my health status.
We returned to the consultation room and waited in tense silence.
My mind wrestled with my heart for which outcome I really wanted. There
was a niggling feeling of hope I couldn’t suppress no matter how hard I
tried. Then intense fear would follow immediately. Fear that I had no
business wanting a baby in my world.
“Well, congratulations you two.” The doctor’s cheery voice jarred me from
my thoughts. “You’re going to be parents.” I felt coldness seep beneath my
skin, but a little burst of joy turned the cold into warmth as excitement
skittered through my veins. I clung onto the warm feeling like a lifeline
because right then, I thought nothing could be more perfect.
Then I cast a surreptitious look at Ndoni, and the chilly feeling
returned when I took in the ashen look on her skin.
“Come on Ms Zwane, go lie down on the bed so we can do an ultrasound.”
She didn’t respond. I gently touched her arm and jerked my hand back as I
found it icy cold. The move seemed to prompt her into action as she
absently moved towards the bed and did as the doctor instructed.
Once the doctor had the ultrasound going, I had my eyes glued on
the screen that showed us the black and white images of our baby. Our
baby. At the sound of the heartbeat, my heart turned over and laid itself bare
to the beat. The beat that glided through my veins becoming a part of me. A
part of me I’d lay my life for. I felt my whole-body tremble at the
realisation and couldn’t breathe with the emotions that were clogging my
throat. I glanced at Ndoni and dread settled in my gut when I saw her head
turned away from the monitor, her eyes blank, dead.
“There you are folks, ten weeks pregnant!” the doctor said,
oblivious to the blanket of tension in the room. “Everything seems in order
with the baby. I’ll give you some prescription to take some vitamins.” He
wiped her tummy and returned to his desk. I absently helped Ndoni off the
bed and returned to our seats. “My worry though is that your blood pressure
seems to be high. It’s not bad, but if not monitored it could get worse. Also,
I picked up from the blood results that you’ve developed anaemia. Which
means your blood doesn’t have enough healthy blood cells to carry oxygen
to your tissues and your baby. I will prescribe supplements for you to take,
eat a balanced diet and take it easy mama,” the doctor said beaming at us. I
asked a few questions and once satisfied, I shook his hand and stood to
leave.
“Is it too late to have an abortion?” She calmly asked as she
remained seated while I felt like someone had kicked me below the knees.
“What the fuck Ndoni?” She didn’t look at me as I sat back down.
“Doctor?” She prompted as the doctor’s sharp eyes moved between
us.
“We’re not having an abortion.” I glared at her.
“It’s my body. I’m allowed to consider all my options.” She looked at the
doctor. While anger burned through me.
“No. Not until you are twelve weeks. You still have a bit of time before then
if you still want to think things over,” the doctor suggested.
“Any places you can recommend?” He gave her some pamphlets
and bid us farewell. I took the prescription and went past the chemist to get
what she needed while she stood to the side, unaffected. The ride back to
Vryheid was tense, and I drove us straight to the B&B.
“Please drive me home,” she mumbled when she noticed the direction I
took.
“I will. I just need a few minutes to talk to you.”
“We have nothing to talk about Lusanda,” she responded in a resigned tone.
“Please.” She huffed but obliged. When we got in the room, I sat on the
couch while she remained standing, leaning against the wall with hands
wrapped over her chest. It wasn’t a fancy room, but it served its purpose.
“Please sit.” She moved to the edge of the couch, her spine stiff. I debated
in my head how much I should tell her.
 “I’m the last person to want kids,” I said, running a hand over my
face. “My life is a mess, and I didn’t want to involve you in it. If you are
with me, I can guarantee you that your life will be in danger, including our
baby. I know we don’t know each other that well, but I’m a man of my
word and I give you my word that I will lay my life for you and that baby
before anything happens to you. I know you are a hard worker and you have
dreams.
All I’m asking for is that you put them on hold for a little while for
that baby. I’ll do anything you ask. Please don’t abort. I’m begging you
Ndoni.” My throat felt raw as I laid myself before her and begged. Her eyes
flashed with an unnamed emotion, then immediately shuttered.
“I can’t Lusanda,” she whispered. “You don’t know my struggle.” Her voice
firmed as she squared her shoulders. “Where I come from. I’m not ready to
be a mother. I have plans to better my life and I was working on that. I don’t
know you well enough to trust your word.
I haven’t had to rely on anyone but myself all my life. To just give
you power over me like that. I can’t.” She shook her head wildly. “You are
asking too much of me. We only had sex, nothing more. It was supposed to
be a no-strings-attached situation. Why would I want to bring a permanent
string? I can’t give you what you’re asking for, I’m sorry. If I do this, I’ll
have to solely depend on you, and that would just crush my spirit.” Her
voice cracked. “I’ve been there, and it’s not a place I want to be in ever
again.” She had the stubborn set of her chin. I knew she meant every word.
I didn’t blame her.
She didn’t know me. I didn’t even know her full name until a few
weeks ago. We’ve never spoken about a future. I couldn’t promise her a
future, not the way my life was. I’m promising her nothing and yet asking
for so much. But for some reason, I wasn’t willing to lose this baby.
“Okay. When are you doing it?” She blinked a few times.
“I’ll make an appointment for Monday.”
“What is the cost in those brochures?”
“These are private clinics. It will be costly.” She had a frown on her face
while paging through one pamphlet.
“I’ll take care of it. Do you want me to make an appointment for you?” She
didn’t argue and only nodded. Her eyes clouded and her shoulders curled to
her body. My heart constricted not only for her despair but for what I
planned to do. I took my shoes off and eased myself on the bed. “Come lie
down with me.”
I patted the space next to me. She hesitated for only a second then
she toed off her shoes and came and sidled up next to me. I wrapped my
arms around her from behind and listened to her breathing until she was
asleep. I carefully extricated myself from her, picked up my phone and
quietly closed the sliding door behind me, dialling Lungelo’s number.
“Sup Sands!”
“Lungsta my man, I need you in Durban ASAP.”
“What’s there?”
“I’ll let you know when you get here. Here is what I need you to do.
Find a secure house in Durban and organise extra security. Not only will we
keep someone in, but they will also need protection.”
“Why don’t you bring them to Joburg? You have secured houses.”
“Not now. They could be watching me. I don’t want to put her in
danger.”
“Her?”
“Long story, my man. Did you organise extra security for my
family?”
“That's sorted.”
“You’re being discreet, right? I don’t want them spooked.”
“Without a doubt, my man.”
I hung up and went back to the room. She was still in deep sleep
when I laid down next to her. I thought about what I’ve decided to do. I was
being sneaky and downright immoral. However, it had to be done, and I had
no qualms about it. I watched her as she slept until she began crying in her
sleep. She made painful soft sounds that pierced my heart and tore it to
pieces. Her torment and her anguish mirrored mine, and I wrapped my arms
around her and brought her to my chest.
“It’s okay My Pearl. I’ve got you. I’m here.” She burrowed her head
deeper against my chest, her arms tightening around me while she broke
into wracking sobs. Her sobs turned into hiccups, then her breathing
deepened as she went back to sleep. She soaked my shirt to my skin, but I
didn’t let go of her. I may have just witnessed a rare moment because I
didn’t think she had ever allowed herself to be this vulnerable with anyone.
I vowed to protect the moment and make sure that she felt she could be that
way with me anytime without feeling judged.
“Are you feeling better?” She woke up two hours later, and it was
already dark outside. Her eyes looked puffy. I was starving; I imagined she
was too.
“A little,” she said, pulling apart from my arms. “Lusanda, I know
you think I’m being selfish. I’m sorry for my decision.”
“Don’t be. I understand completely.”
“You don’t hate me?” I cradled her chin to face me.
“I could never hate you.” She nodded. I leaned forward and captured her
lips in a slow, sensual kiss. As the realisation that I would never
intentionally hurt her settled. Do you think what you are planning won’t
hurt her? I silenced those thoughts with a slight shake of my head. I slid
down the bed, settling my head against her still flat belly. I thought about
my baby growing in there, and that solidified my decision.
The following morning began with her buried inside the toilet,
puking her guts out while I held her braids back. She, of course, shrugged
my hand off the moment her tummy had settled. Once she cleaned herself
up, she began tidying her place; I wanted to help but realised I was only in
her way. I stepped aside and watched her work.
“Are we going to church?” I asked, deciding to pack the kitchen
dishes away instead.
“You can go, I don’t go to church,” she said as she swept the floor.
“Why not?” I looked at her over my shoulder. “You don't believe in
God?”
“I do. I just haven’t found a place where He resides here on earth.
Except in my heart.” She shrugged.
“I hear you.” I had my moments with God but being friends with the
likes of Lubabalo, with a heart that made me believe more than I wavered.
“Then I guess I’ll spend the day with you. What do you want to do?”
“I’m working in the afternoon.” My eyes followed the swell of her
ass as she bent over to sweep under the couch. My dick swelled inside my
pants.
 “Didn’t you book off sick yesterday?” I asked. “Please spend a day
with me.” She straightened up, then looked at me her eyebrows drawn
together. “Please.” She sighed.
“Okay, fine.”
“Please pack an overnight bag.” I steeled myself for her reaction. “I
would like you to spend the night with me at the B&B. Tomorrow we will
drive to Durban. I made an appointment at the clinic.” She nodded her head
with no arguments and went to bath and change. When she was ready, we
left for the B&B so I could change, then drove to Newcastle. Once at the
mall, I led her inside a beauty salon. Once she realised where we were, she
whirled around to face me, I could see by the sparks in her eyes and the
shake of her head, she wouldn’t agree with whatever I had planned. I
wouldn’t let her deter me though as I held her shoulders.
“Please Ndoni let me pamper you just this once.” The hairdressers
were already rallying behind me not willing to lose their commission. It
took some convincing, mostly from them for her to agree and sit on the
chair. I instructed them to give her the best they offered from head to toe.
They asked me to give them three hours. I went to wait at a coffee shop
nearby, making calls and checking on my emails. I almost didn’t recognise
the person I saw when I returned to the hair salon. The long wavy hair
framed her face and made her smooth dark skin glow. Her eyes seemed
unsure as she watched for my reaction. I had to swallow a few gulps of air
to find my voice.
“Fuck! You look like sin!” She pulled at the ends then, twisting
them with her freshly manicured hand. She was becoming extremely
uncomfortable as more people complimented her. I quickly settled the bill,
took her hand, and walked her out of the salon to a restaurant. I couldn’t
take my eyes off her as we ate our lunch over small chatter.
I knew she was beautiful before, but her makeover enhanced that
beauty and highlighted all her best features. I tried not to gawk because I
could see by her constant shifting on her chair, I made her uncomfortable. I
was counting the hours until we were back at the B&B and I would be over
her like a sexually deprived teenager. Which is how I constantly felt
whenever I was around her. Everything about her called to me on a primal
level and that, I must admit, scared the fuck out of me. And yet I couldn’t
stop even if you paid me.
 The next morning, I told her we wouldn’t be coming back to the
B&B from the clinic, so she packed her bag and we were off to Durban. I
drove straight to the house that Lungsta had directed me to. The realisation
that the house I’d just driven us to wasn’t the clinic she’d assumed I was
taking her to, occurred once we were already inside the house.
“Lusanda, what is this?” she asked, looking around.
“Your home for the next few months,” I said, walking further into
the room. I could feel her steps moving at a rapid pace behind me.
“What?” She moved around to face me.
“Just until you get those silly ideas of aborting my child out of your
head. By then it will be too late.” Her eyes widened, followed by a loud
crack that echoed through the house as she slapped me.
“You bastard! I hate you.” It was a heartfelt declaration; her face
contorted in anger.

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 Hate is a strong word

H elooking
didn’t seem shocked by the slap as he stood still, hands in his pockets
at me. I began hitting him on his chest over and over while he
stood, watched, taking it all in.
“I hate you! I hate you! I curse the day I met you!” Oh, heaven help
me, I did. My mother was right, nothing good ever came from a man. My
body trembled, my chest hurt, and my eyes stung as I pounded on him. I
needed him to hurt as much as I was hurting, throttle him and squeeze the
air out of him. Maybe then he’d feel the suffocating noose he’d just
wrapped around my neck. Feel as helpless and powerless as he just made
me.
“Do you know what you just did?” My hands hurt, so I dropped
them and looked up to find his stoic expression as if his face was made
from granite. I felt the energy zap out of me. “You’ve taken my power. My
right as a human being. You’ve taken my will to be.” My chest constricted,
and I rubbed a hand to soothe the pain. “You are no different from my aunt
and her family.” His jaw clenched.
“They left me with no choice but to stay with them. I had no choice
but to live like a slave and an intruder in their home. They took away
everything that belonged to me and left me with nothing. I was abused
physically and emotionally daily. Repeatedly told how ugly I was. How
stupid I was. How I will never amount to anything. They insulted me at
every chance they got. They ridiculed me. The community did the same.
My school was no better. Don’t get me started on the church. At the time I
would be so hungry because I wasn’t allowed to eat food at home that I
would dig through the dustbin. Scrape through pots. But through it all, I
knew that the time would come when I would live a life on my own terms. I
was determined to get myself out of that and be someone.
 “There was one thing they never took away from me and that was
my freedom to choose. My power as a person and my will to live. In just a
space of fewer than three months, you’ve done what everyone else failed to
do for the past twenty-two years. You just broke my spirit, Lusanda
Ngcobo.” He blinked. “You are worse than them! Only for what? So that
you can have your way. Get what you want.
So typical of a rich, spoilt brat! I hate you for this. I will never
forgive you, ever! Being with my cruel family was a breeze compared to
you. You should all get together and celebrate! You finally took the last of
my spirit.” I couldn’t breathe and felt my knees giving way. He caught me
before I could fall and helped towards the couch. As soon as I sat down, I
shrugged his hands off me. I was suddenly exhausted, and I folded my
body, laying on the couch. He picked up a throw and covered me with it
then quietly left the room.

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 There Is an Ocean of Silence Between Us

I was in the kitchen cooking lunch when Lungelo arrived He had the
equipment I needed to monitor Ndoni’ s blood pressure daily. I also had a
doctor on call in case of an emergency. I planned, for the meantime, to
put the vitamins in her food because I didn’t think she would accept them. I
hated myself for what I’d done. I’d felt her pain stabbing at my soul as
she’d given me a glimpse of her scared heart. Yet no matter how my mind
argued with my heart that this was wrong on so many levels, I couldn’t do
it. I just couldn’t let her go through with it.
I ached at how she had suffered at the hands of those vile people. I
wanted to make them pay most painfully. When she’d said I was worse than
them I died a thousand deaths. Just like the fire that I’d just extinguished in
her eyes. Shamed crawled in my gut and I felt bile rising in my throat.
“What’s up with you?” Lungelo asked, leaning against the kitchen
island.
“Nothing.” He cocked his head to the side, studying me.
“Are you sure you ok man?”
“For fuck sakes! I didn’t bring you here to cross-question me!” I
snapped. “Did you go to the orphanage?”
“As far as the lady knows, Ndoni left for an overseas internship. I
showed her the letter from Bhengu Inc. She bought it. Told me that at least
Ndoni’s dreams were coming true. She was so happy the lady even cried. I
felt bad for lying to her man.” Annoyance prickled under my skin. I didn’t
need more layers of guilt.
“It had to be done. Work?”
“Sorted.”
“I’ll need you around here soon. I have to go to Joburg.”
“Sure, my man. Hala at me.” We fist-bumped and he left. Once the lunch
was ready, I dished up for her and placed the food in a serving tray and took
it to her.
“I brought you lunch.”
She sat up on the couch looking at me with contempt, “May I use
the bathroom?”
“You don’t have to ask me for that.” I placed the tray on the coffee
table.
“Maybe you should give me a list of things I can do of my own free
will.” Ouch.
“Come, I’ll show you around.” She followed uninterested as I
showed her around and then lastly, I showed her the room she’d be sleeping
in. It had an en-suite bathroom. Her bags with all her stuff were in there
already, including her personal documents.
“You can freshen up in there and when you’re done come down and
eat.” She said nothing as she walked towards the bathroom. She returned to
the living room a few minutes later wearing leggings and an oversized t-
shirt, walking barefoot. It shocked me when she picked up her plate and
started eating. We both ate in silence and when she was done, she took her
plate to the kitchen and came back to sleep on the couch.
We spent the entire day in torturous silence. I cooked and cleaned to
keep busy because, under the circumstances, I couldn’t have a housekeeper
in the house. After dinner, we went to bed in separate rooms. I didn’t want
to chance her suffocating me to death in my sleep. Not that I would’ve
blamed her if she tried. I wasn’t worried about her leaving. The house was
safely secured without making her feel closed in. I had difficulty sleeping
knowing she was this close and yet so far. The fucked-up thing was as
angry as she was and as kak as I felt, I was still craving for her. I wanted to
just jump her and fuck her until she forgave me. However, I knew if I did
that, she would bite my dick off.
“There is a swimming pool outside. Would you like to go for a
swim?” I asked her the following day after we finished eating breakfast.
“I can’t swim.”
“I’ll teach you.”
“No, thank you.” She went back to reading a book that she got from
a stack of books Lungelo had brought.
The silent treatment went on for the next few days and I was getting
frustrated. She at least ate all her meals and allowed me to monitor her
blood pressure.
“Ndoni.” I sat opposite her in the living room. She didn’t look up from her
book and I flicked my eyes over her body. She wore a bright yellow short
dress that had all her thighs on display. I felt myself thicken inside my
pants. My libido seemed to rage uncontrollably, and what made things
worse is that she didn’t seem as affected as I was.
“Something came up, I have to drive back to Joburg.” She didn’t
acknowledge me. “A friend of mine, Lungelo, will come to stay with you.”
She kept quiet. I sighed, reigning in my frustration and went to change. As
soon as I was done, I went to find her. Ndoni was nowhere in sight and
Lungsta was is in the kitchen making himself a sandwich. “Sup!”
“Hey, my man. Yho! Your lady is feisty.” The appreciation in his
tone irked me.
“Lungelo, you are only here to watch her and keep her safe.” His
eyes widened.
“I know that. Geez, Sands chill man.”
“Okay. I’m out. Where is she?”
“Upstairs.” I went to say goodbye, even though I knew I wouldn’t
be getting a response. She was lying on her side hugging the teddy bear I
had bought for her. I squatted in front of her and watched as her eyes
shuttered.
“I’m leaving.” I cleared my throat. “Lungelo is downstairs. If you
need anything, ask him.” A tear escaped the corner of her eye. My chest
burned. I leant forward and kissed her on the forehead. I didn’t want to let
go. I planted kisses all over her face. Then I was kissing her mouth. She let
out a whimper, then responded, and my heart thudded as warmth burst from
within and spread throughout my body.
Then I was on top with her on her back and nestled between her
thighs. I deepened the kiss, and we both moaned. Her hands were scraping
my back while she locked her legs around my waist. The heat from her core
seared through my painful erection, making me throb. My tongue in her
mouth mimicked what I needed to do with her. I fumbled with my
sweatpants pulling them down with my underwear just enough to take my
hot member out, my hand slid under her flimsy thong while directing
myself inside of her. Her inner walls gripped me like a tight fist as I pushed
inside of her. We both let out muffled groans as I bottomed out.
 “I’m so sorry,” I said against her lips as she held me to her. “I can’t
say it enough. Please forgive me, My Pearl. Forgive me. Fuck!” My heart
rate quickened at the speed of my thrusts. Her hips bucked, meeting my
thrusts. Her nails dug into my back as we both chased our climax. I
wrenched my lips from her to get much-needed oxygen into my lungs. The
sight of tears flowing out of the corners of her eyes shredded my heart.
“God Ndoni! Forgive me.” Her bottom lip trembled, her hold on me
tightening. Her warm walls gripped me hard as she threw her head
backwards then let out a loud cry, arching her back off the bed. My balls
tightened as I railed her, fucking her into the mattress and then my climax
felt like it was being ripped out of my body. My body shook and jerked as
she milked my release, which seemed to go on forever. We were both taking
in harsh breaths.
I pulled out from her, untangled my hands from her hair, then rolled
off her. She pulled her dress down, turned, and turned away to face the wall,
curling herself into a ball. I pulled a throw and covered her, then turned to
leave my heart shuttering at every step.
I needed to talk to someone, maybe Luxolo and Lubabalo but where
would I begin? They would surely kick my ass when they hear what I’d
done. It was evening by the time I arrived in Joburg. I immediately called
Lungelo to check up on Ndoni.
“Ncoo. You missed me already!”
“Piss off.”
“Yes, she ate. Yes, I gave her the vitamins. Yes, she’s fine. Now she
is asleep.” I hung up.
The following day I was busy with my investigation. The people I
was dealing with were good at hiding their dirty laundry, almost as good as
me. I had a lead I needed to follow up on, and that meant I had to travel. It
pained me to have to do that at a time where Ndoni needed me the most.
She might not agree to needing me, but for my own reasons, I needed to be
with her.
The following day I attended church, which gave me an opportunity
to hang out with family afterwards. We were at Luxolo’s house when Vuyo
went into labour. One of the scariest moments of my life and it hit me then
that I would go through the same experience in a few months to come. I
would be the one running back and forth like a lunatic as Luxolo had done.
 And I would get to share the same joy with the entire family, my
baby in my arm as Luxolo was with the triplets. I’d hope it’s only one baby
though, I didn’t think I could handle three babies at once. When I held the
youngest of the triplets in my arms, Siya, I fell in love instantly and realised
then what I did with Ndoni was worth it.
A few days after the triplets were born, I returned to Durban. I had a
lead I needed to follow in Mozambique, but I wanted to check on Ndoni
first before leaving. I didn’t question the constant need that I had to see her.
When I arrived at the house, she was sitting by the pool with a glass of juice
wearing a barely-there bright yellow swimming costume that made her skin
glow. I was suddenly parched. Was she walking around looking like that
with Lungelo in the house? My smile slipped the moment that thought
crossed my mind. I picked up a towel next to her and threw it at her.
“Cover yourself.” Her startled eyes jerked up and clashed with
mine. I don’t know where the caveman in me came from. I’d never been
one to tell women what to wear. The less clothing, the better; but with
Ndoni I couldn’t seem to control my emotions.
“Not even a few seconds after you return, already you’re controlling
me!” She jumped to her feet and threw the towel back at me. Her breasts
bounced, threatening to spill over and my dick immediately hardened at the
sight. As she turned my eyes dropped lower following the yellow fabric that
disappeared in-between the globes of her ass. I began to throb.
“Stay away from me Lusanda!” she screamed, picking up her pace
as she walked back to the house.
“Put some fucking clothes on!” I yelled back, running after her all
the way to her bedroom. I reached her before she could bang the door in my
face. I kicked the door closed. Then I grabbed her shoulder pushing her
against the wall then I crashed my lips into hers. I pulled at that costume,
almost ripping it off. She was struggling with my t-shirt and eventually
pulled it off me. Our tongues intertwined as I delved inside her mouth. I
needed more. I let go of her lips and looked at her. The burning need in her
eyes had me taking a sharp breath. She might hate me, but she wanted me,
and I was down with that, up rather.
“I need you so bad,” I murmured against her lips. “I have to have
you baby, or I’ll die.” She only nodded her head unbuttoning my jeans. “I
need you to say it.” I cupped her breasts, feeling the weight of them in my
hands. Once she had my pants opened, she slid her hand under my
underwear wrapping a hand around my leaking dick.
“Fuck me then! And make it good.” Her voice came out low and
husky. All coherent thought fled from my mind. I slanted my lips against
her. I couldn’t kiss her deep enough and hard enough. Nothing else made
sense but this. The most basic and physical want, my blood pounding with
need in my veins and making my dick thicken. My hand slid down her belly
and disappeared under her bikini. The heat from her core seared my fingers.
I separated her wet folds and rubbed her engorged clit. Her legs parted as
she let out a desperate whimper.
“I need to bury myself inside that heat baby.” I turned her around
and made her face the wall, placing her hands above her head, then I pulled
her ass backwards. My hands shook as I directed myself inside of her. We
both moaned as I sank deep between her tight folds. My mind roared with
desperate and crazed need. She dropped her head while pushing her ass to
meet my thrusts. I rutted behind her, feeling out of control. I stood on my
toes, my hands digging in her ass while my teeth sank into her shoulder.
I needed to mark her and make mine. I wanted to crawl into her. The
room filled with the sounds of skin banging against skin, her cries, and my
groans. When I felt my orgasm approach at the speed of a train, I reached
my hand around and rubbed her clit. Then her body froze, her inner walls
gripping me in a tight vice as she shuddered against me, milking me. I
rested my forehead against her shoulder, gasping for air.
“I can’t stand,” she said, her voice hoarse. I chuckled.
“Neither can I.”
“Yeah. I’m hungry though.” She turned around in my arms, causing
my still hard dick to slip out of her.
“Come, let’s take a quick shower then I’ll feed you.”

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 Strength is overrated

T hetightfollowing morning, I woke up with muscular arms holding me in a

grip and a warm solid body curling around my body from behind
with his erection lodged between my thighs. I felt safe for a moment. It
blew my mind that Lusanda had this ability to tear me apart and at the same
time put me together so beautifully.
Half the time when he was gone, I’d plotted my escape and revenge
in my head. I hated him and yet one touch from him evoked such deep fires;
I burst from within. At this moment, I yearned to stay in the cocoon of his
arms forever. The urgent need to pee and the urge to vomit didn’t allow for
me to entertain the fantasy.
“Lusanda.” His body jerked, sitting up like he hadn’t been in deep
sleep just a few seconds ago.
“What is it?” His eyes quickly scanned the room, alert.
“I need the bathroom.” I shoved off the blankets and ran towards the
bathroom. It mortified me when I bent over the toilet to empty the contents
of my stomach and felt the warm liquid flow down my legs. My
mortification grew when I felt Lusanda crouching behind me, holding my
hair backwards. I reached out with a shaky hand to flush and he stood to
pull me up with him.
He snatched a towel hanging from the bathroom rail and wiped the
floor with it while I stepped into the shower. After my shower, I walked
back into the bedroom, with only a towel wrapped around me and found
him sitting on the bed with a pensive look on his face.
“Ndoni.” At the tone of his voice, I braced myself for another
argument. “You still have a few days window period to do the abortion. We
need to get ready to go to the clinic this morning.” I hadn’t been expecting
that, and I found myself lost for words for a second. He looked at me,
expecting a response.
 “Are you serious?” My heartbeat sped up.
“Yes, I am,” he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I was an
ass.” He got off the bed and walked towards me to hold my arms, his touch
searing warmth through my skin. “I didn’t have the right to do what I did. It
was underhanded and downright stupid. I panicked. You decide and I’ll
support you. I’ll be there with you all the way.”
“Okay. You won’t hate me?” I didn’t know why I needed his
reassurance and his affirmation. I just did.
His eyes softened and my heart lurched. “I could never hate you.”
He caressed the side of my cheek.
“Let’s get going then.” It was what I wanted. I should be happy, I
wanted to be happy.
“First, I’ll shower, then we will have breakfast. I’m starving.” He
went to shower while I got dressed. We found Lungelo in the kitchen with a
feast prepared already but he left us on our own disappearing somewhere in
the house. My tummy immediately grumbled, and my mouth watered at the
sight of food.
I waffled down my plate like I’d been starving for days. It was when
my plate was clean, I looked up to find Lusanda watching me with laughter
in his eyes. He burst out laughing when I let out an unexpected burp. His
laughter wrapping around me like a warm blanket.
“I just love how you love your food,” he said, pushing off the
highchair. “Come, let’s go. Our appointment is in an hour.” I slid off the
chair and followed him out the door.
“You know, I think you are the strongest woman I’ve ever met,” he
said after a while of driving in silence.
“Thank you.” I didn’t think I was strong; I only did what I needed to
do to survive.
He glanced at me, “It’s true. With all that you’ve been through, so
many people would have given up and accepted defeat. Not you. You
fought your way through. That takes inner strength.” I felt warmth spread
through me at his words.
“I had no choice. I couldn’t give up. It’s like something was pushing
me to survive. To move forward, you know.” He nodded.
“How old were you when your parents died?” I looked away and
gazed at the scenic beauty we were driving past. I’d never spoken about my
parents before. Nobody ever asked.
 “I was six.”
“Do you want to talk about them?” I felt his hand on my thigh.
Strangely comforting.
“We had a good life, you know. In my child’s mind, anyway. It was
only later I found out that it wasn’t that good. My dad got sick, and he died
a short while later. After he died, it wasn’t long before my mother got sick
and succumbed to death shortly after. Then I later found out that my father
cheated on my mother and got infected with HIV.
He didn’t tell my mother. She only found out when he was sick and
already it was too late for her. She never took it well, hence her rapid health
decline. After she died, the only relative I had left was my aunt,
Nompendulo. That’s when my misery began.” His hand laced with mine
and I turned to find him looking at me. I unloaded; I shared the moments in
my life, I’d never shared with another human being. The lowest moments
when I’d thought I couldn’t take it anymore. I allowed him to see the scars
etched so deep I had no hope of healing. It felt good to do it with him, break
my walls and allow a crack for him to slide through.
“As I said before, you are very brave My Pearl,” he said, his voice
thick as he placed a soft kiss on the back of my hand and kept his hand in
mine for the rest of the journey. When we reached the clinic, he parked the
car, switched off the engine, then turned his body to face me.
“Ndoni. I just want you to know that this decision you are about to
make is not yours alone. I am making it with you. You are not aborting, we
both are. Our decision, not yours alone. It’s the best decision right now. You
understand?” I could only nod my head as a lump the size of my fist
clogged my throat. He squeezed my hand, then shoved the door open while
I did the same with my trembling fingers. He held his hand to me when I
met him at in front of the car, I placed my palm in his. His hold tightened as
we walked side by side towards the entrance.
After all the paperwork was completed and the required tests were
done, we were both directed to a surgery room. I lay on the small bed
waiting, Lusanda sitting on the chair next to me, his hand gripping mine. I
looked around the room at all the equipment surrounding me and felt a
bunch of nerves skitter across my tummy.
A nurse walked into the room and explained the procedure they
were about to do. Lusanda asked most of the questions. Whether the
procedure was painful. What the side effects that could impact my life were.
My nerves turned into fear and it gripped my insides so hard I felt like I was
going to vomit. She then gave me a mild sedative to manage the discomfort.
I would be awake throughout the process.
The doctor walked in as she instructed me to lie on my back with
my feet up in stirrups and sanitised the area around my vagina. I flinched at
the intrusive contact. I couldn’t watch anymore and turned to look at
Lusanda who now had my hand in both his watching me with a fierce look.
I felt the doctor opening my cervix a little to allow him access to my uterus.
Lusanda was sitting by my face with both my hands in his. I felt minor
tremors of fear go through my body in stages.
“It will be ok. I’m with you,” Lusanda said, his voice gruff. I felt
tears sting the backs of my eyes and nodded. This was it. There was no
going back. I closed my eyes and gave in.

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 Sealed with a kiss

watched her eyes close, shielding me from the deep fear I’d seen in her
I eyes. Her skin felt cold and clammy against my hands, and I felt the slight
tremble that rocked through her in waves. The troubled look I’d seen just
before she’d closed her eyes would forever haunt me. The decision wasn’t
as easy as she’d made it out to be, and it was taking its toll on her. She had
dealt with so much in her life and yet she was here, about to make a soul-
crushing decision. All because of my carelessness. I’d always protected the
women I’ve been with, without fail. The one I needed to protect the most, I
failed. A wave of guilt crushed over me.
“Wait!” My head jerked up at the same time the doctor pause mid-
motion. “I can’t do it.” She frantically waved her hand. “Stop the
procedure!” she shouted, trying to get her feet off the stirrups. “Lusanda
make him stop!” I was slow to react, but her hand tightened in mine.
“You heard her get her off those things!” I bellowed, pinning the
doctor with a deadly stare. The man frantically dropped everything, and
they removed her feet from the stirrups.
“The sedative, is it not going to hurt the baby?” Her voice rose in
panic.
“Not the dosage I gave. The baby will be fine. We are done. You can
take her home, Mr Ngcobo.” The doctor and the nurse left the room. I
helped her on her feet and into her clothes.
“Are you sure about this?” I held her shoulder and looked into her
worried eyes.
“I’ve never been sure about anything else in my life.” Her eyes
clouded with tears. “I can’t believe I almost killed our baby.” I pulled her in
a tight hug then.
“Almost. What matters is that you didn’t go through with it.” She
nodded. She fell asleep on the ride home and when we arrived, I couldn’t
bring myself to wake her up, so I carried her to my bedroom and tucked her
under the covers before returning downstairs to find Lungelo in the living
room.
“Is your lady alright?”
“Yes, she is.”
“Terror has some information on Doom. They spotted him in
Joburg, but then lost him again.”
“Fuck. What does it take to get to these guys? I need to be a step
ahead and right now I’m ten fucking steps behind. This is what I can’t
afford to do, lose focus.”
“We need you focused, my man. You know you are the best. If
anyone can get to them it’s you.” I rubbed my head in frustration. I fucking
hated not being in control of the situation. I needed to calm down and the
only person I could think of to help me with that slept peacefully in my
bedroom. I could use some of that.
“Are you making lunch?” Lungelo nodded. “Thanks, my man, I’ll
be upstairs.”
I joined Ndoni in bed, spooning her from behind, and my mind
quietened. I woke up two hours later and just watched her as she slept with
her mouth slightly open. Eventually, her eyes fluttered open and my heart
stalled as they locked with mine.
“Hey, how are you feeling?” I asked.
“I’m fine, just hungry.”
“Do you want to eat here or downstairs?”
“Here if you’ll stay with me.” That she willingly wanted to be
around me had me bursting with joy.
“I’ll be back.” She was leaning against the headboard when I
returned with a tray of food. I sat next to her, placing the tray on her lap
with a bowl of creamy pasta.
“This is good,” she said after taking a bite. “I could get used to this
pampering.” The movement of her throat as she swallowed had me
imagining what it would be like to have my dick buried in her throat. The
thought had me shifting uncomfortably.
“Thank Lungelo, he is the one who cooked. I aim to pamper you in
other ways at every chance I get though.” I winked at her and she smiled.
The smile did things to me. “I had some good news I’d have liked to share
with you when I returned from Joburg, but I didn’t think it would be
appropriate at the time.”
“What's that?”
“I became an uncle a week ago.” I smiled ruefully.
“From your sister or brother.” I realised then that she didn’t know
much about me.
“A bit of both. Luxolo and his wife, Vuyo, are my friends including
Lubabalo, but I consider them my family. I met them while I was at
university. I was a loner with no friends. Lux and Lubah bamboozled their
way into my life, and before I knew it, I was in and felt at home. Then later
I met Vuyo, who was Luxolo’s childhood girlfriend then.
Almost a year ago Lubabalo came out to us the same time he
introduced his partner Ryan. That’s the bunch that you’ll be meeting soon.”
I omitted to tell her that Luxolo and Vuyo were separated because of
Luxolo’s infidelity. An indiscretion that was exposed by Namhla – the
mistress and Vuyo’s friend– a few days after the triplet’s birth. Something
we still hoped they could work out.
“It must be nice,” she said, a wistful note in her tone.
“What is?”
“To relate to people like that. Sounds like there is so much love
between you guys. I envy that.”
“They will love you. Do you know what I’ve learned? In life, you
can make your own family. You don’t need blood ties for that. Good
friendships can make great families.”
“Where are my vitamins?” she asked halfway through her meal.
“I’ll bring them.” After lunch, I took the dishes to the kitchen and
brought back the pills with a glass of water.
“They are opened.” She looked at them, frowning.
“You've been taking them with your food since the day I kidnapped
you.”
“You are sneaky. Please don’t do that again. Let me use my mind
and make my own decisions. Even if you think it’s a mistake,” she said
firmly, and I felt berated and put in my place.
“It will never happen again, but there is still an issue of security.
There are people after me. To get to me they might use you. I would like to
ask that you stay with me for your safety and my peace of mind.”
“What about my work?” Shit.
 “Well, because I was keeping you here indefinitely, I kind of
resigned for you in your jobs.” Her brows snapped together.
“You did what?” I grimaced. “You just can’t help yourself! Now,
what am I going to do Lusanda?” If she only knew that she never had to
work a day in her life. But I still valued my life, so I never mentioned that.
“In my defence, it was a ripple effect of my monumental fuck up,
which I might add, you’ve already forgiven me for, right?” She hadn’t
really said the words, but I was optimistic. “How about you stay with me
through your pregnancy? Then when the baby is born, I will send you to
school to finish your degree while I watch the baby. The reason I want you
with me now is to keep you safe. Once I have sorted things out, I’ll get a
place for you and the baby close to me of course. I want to be here to
support you and the baby.” She got off the bed and walked outside to the
balcony. I followed her close and went to stand beside where she stood
leaning against the balcony rails. The view from up there allowed us the
perfect view of the ocean.
“That’s the thing you don’t seem to understand, Lusanda.” She
tipped her face up to the sun, and my breath caught at her beauty. “I don't
want to be a kept woman. How can I trust you? I hardly know you. What
happens when tire of me?” She turned her face towards me, her eyes
narrowed.
“You won’t be a kept woman. I’m giving you a chance to
accomplish your dreams. No strings attached. All I ask is to be part of my
baby's life, that’s all. We can sign a contract that will stipulate all your
wishes and mine.” She leaned towards the rail biting her bottom lip and I
felt the move straight to my dick. The breeze blew her hair wildly, and that
revealed her long neck.
“What about what’s going on between the two of us?” she
tentatively asked. I liked that she didn’t make assumptions or take things for
granted.
“That’s why we sign the contract. Even if things don’t work out
between us, I’ll still provide for you.”
“What if I meet someone?” I wanted to kill that person before they
even existed.
“If you’re happy with him. I won't stand in your way, but I'll still
provide for you and my baby. If he can take care of you it’s fine. But I’ll
always provide for my baby and I want to have a say in his or her life.”
 “Okay. I accept your offer.” I let out the breath I was not even aware
I was holding.
“Let’s kiss on it,” I said, placing my hand on her waist and pulling
her towards me. My lips brushed over hers until she opened up and when
she did, I sank into her. Greedily devouring her mouth.
“You are so good at that,” she said breathlessly.
“I’ve had some practice.” She hit my arm, shaking her head.
“Come, show me your acquired skills then, Mr Ngcobo.” Her
naughty grin had me swelling in my pants, and I happily led her back to the
bedroom to demonstrate how skilful I really was.

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 A foe or an ally
took a private jet to Mozambique, visiting my Uncle, Mxolisi. He lived in
I a small fishing town just outside Maputo. It was late in the afternoon
when I drove up the winding road that led to his house on top of a hill.
The road was unpaved and the thick bushes and tall trees flanking the road
made it difficult to drive if you didn’t know where you were going.
The thick trees opened to reveal a single-storey house that perched
on the bed of the hill. I knew from experience that my uncle had a few
neighbours with similar houses. I also knew that from my previous visits
that there was a winding trail that led to the beach. I parked the car and
killed the engine. As I exited, sounds of birds and the swishing of the trees
met me.
The crunching sound of my feet on the gravel paving which
surrounded the house, let me know my uncle was aware of my arrival. I
looked up at the windows, I could only see my reflection and that of the
surroundings. I didn’t bother to knock as I went through the familiar
hallway in search of my uncle.
I turned the corner and found him in the living room with an ocean
view. My uncle had moved to the house years back to hide from my father,
but now that he’d settled, he didn’t want to return home.
“Malume.” He smiled a cigar between his lips. He sat in a brown leather
recliner that faced the television.
“Mtshana. I didn’t know you were coming.” He stood when I reached him
and pulled me into a tight hug.
“You know how it is, Malume.” We avoided a lot of electronic
communication for his protection.
“A drink?” he offered, walking to the bar area. I nodded my head.
“What’s been happening?” He poured two fingers of the amber liquid in
each glass, then passed one to me.
“They attacked me a few months back.” His eyebrows rose. “I’m okay as
you can see, but they are tightening the screws. A lot is at stake now,
Malume, I can’t afford to mess it up. Maybe I should just give in and give
him what he wants.”
“There must be something you can do. You can’t give in just like
that. We’ve come too far to give in Lusanda.” I looked at his greying hair
and felt a pang of guilt. The man lived alone in a foreign country so he
could protect me and my freedom. It wasn’t right. I took a sip of my drink,
grimacing at the burn as the liquid went down my throat.
“I don’t know Malume. I’m running out of options. The man is desperate.
He doesn't want to lose what he holds dear, and I’m his ticket to getting the
ultimate power that he needs.”
“If only you could get the file, they have against you.” He sat back
on the couch, drumming his fingers on the armrest.
“Well, that could help but I have found another way. I go to them
before they come for me.” His eyes narrowed as he shifted in his seat.
“That’s why I’m here, I can get to my mother, I need to bring her here.
She’ll be safe with you.”
“You don’t even have to ask. But how are you going to get her out
of that fortress?”
“I have a plan which I can’t discuss.” I stood and downed the rest of
my drink. “I can’t stay uncle. I am on my way to Moscow, Russia.” He
stood as well and walked me out.
“I’d hoped you’d be staying longer,” he said, holding my car door.
“I wish I could Malume, but I’ll be back soon, I promise.” He nodded his
head and closed the door for me. I felt bad about not telling him about the
baby, but it wasn’t time. I wasn’t ready for anyone else besides Ndoni and
myself to know.
I spent a week in Moscow and then followed another lead to Brazil,
São Paulo before the information was satisfactory enough for me to return
home. I flew straight to Durban because I missed Ndoni. I never thought I’d
miss someone the way I did her.

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 Who are you?
t had been weeks since Lusanda left. Being cooped up in the house with
I nothing to do drove me nuts. It didn’t help that I missed him every
second. I craved him, his touch, his scent, and his devilish smile. Even
though we spoke on the phone daily, it didn’t feel the same. I needed to feel
the warmth of his arms as they wrapped around me.
I spent my days lazing around the pool, reading or watching movies,
and watching them over a home theatre magnified the experience for me. I
also discovered the joys of having a proper phone. Even though I didn’t
have friends to call but I made use of social networks. I followed people. I
also found an app that kept me busy. I could bring my sketched designs into
life. Lungelo had bought me equipment to sketch, so I spent most my days
perfecting my skill.
I stayed connected to Sis Dudu and the times I spoke to her it
became painful to have to lie to her to cover up for Lusanda’s lie.
Something that still annoyed me when I thought about it. I also yearned to
share the news of my pregnancy even though she’d be disappointed, I
needed to speak to someone about it. Share the experience of my growing
bump, the cravings and the movements that were fluttering in my tummy. I
spoke about it with Lusanda, of course.
Concern niggled at the back of my head as I headed for bed. I hadn’t
heard from Lusanda since the previous night, which was unusual for us. We
spoke at least twice a day, and those were the times I looked forward to the
most. I lay in bed with my mind conjuring up scenarios of what could’ve
happened until blessedly I drifted off to sleep.
I was having one of my beautiful sensual dreams. Only this one felt
real. I could feel every touch as if he were there. I swear I could almost
smell his scent, feel his warmth on my back. The touch was tactile, and it
left me drenched between my thighs. He lifted my leg and inserted himself.
We both groaned. This dream was the best. He held me to him as he bucked
against me. The puffs of his warm breath tickled the back of my neck. I
really hoped that it wouldn't leave me hanging this time around.
His hand slid down my bump and he let out a possessive groan as
the hand lingered for a bit, but then it continued its downward journey,
sliding at my apex where I needed him the most. He stroked my clit with
purpose, and I felt my muscles contracting as heat spread from my lower
belly throughout my body. I flew apart in his arms, detonating into a mind-
numbing orgasm. He let out a loud groan, his body going rigid behind me.
My eyes flew open, and I realised this was no dream I’d just experienced.
My entire body was still trembling. He was buried deep inside me, his
breath coming in sharp, harsh pants.

“Baby, you are here.” I whispered.

“Hello, My Pearl.” His voice vibrated against my spine. I turned in his arms
to face him even in the dim light from the bathroom, I could still see his
eyes dancing with mirth. He placed his hands on my hips and pulled me
closer. “I’ve missed you.”

I traced the tips of my fingers down his jaw, his short stubble rough against
my touch. “I thought I was dreaming, and I didn’t want it to end.” His grin
widened. “Gosh, I have been craving you so bad.”
His lips touched mine in a soft kiss, “Not as much as I did.” He deepened
the kiss and I hooked my arms around his neck, drawing him closer. He
showed me exactly how much he’d missed me until we both fell into an
exhausted sleep.

The savoury aroma of food hit my nostrils before I felt the bed dip under his
weight. I slowly turned and sat up, pulling the sheet over my naked body. I
still felt self-conscious around him.
“Morning gorgeous.” He pulled the sheet lower, revealing my breasts and
planted a kiss on each.
“Good morning,” I murmured, worried about morning breath. He didn’t
seem to have an issue with that though as he lifted up and captured my lips
in a blistering kiss.
He pulled apart, sitting beside me, “Come sit. You must be hungry.” My
tummy chose that moment to let a loud grumble. He chuckled. “You are
starving my baby, here.” He passed me a plate.
“Thank you, you spoil me.” The satisfied smile on his face told me
he loved hearing that and planned to do more. We ate over a small
conversation. When we were done, he took the dishes to the kitchen while I
went to soak my sore muscles in a long bath. I wore a simple dress and
sandals and went to find Lusanda.
He was standing outside on the patio and seemed to be engaged in a
serious conversation with Lungelo. I took a second to drink him in. He wore
faded jeans that hugged his frame to perfection and the grey t-shirt he wore
stretched across his upper body and biceps. I felt a flutter between my
thighs and looked away from the tempting sight. I went to the lounge to
catch up on my reading. When they came in, he had a hard look on his face.
He came and sat next to me.
“Baby. We need to get to Joburg ASAP. There is a crisis that I have to deal
with and unfortunately, I can’t leave you here.” Fear crept in because, for
some reason, I knew that Lusanda was involved in something big if not
shady, but I didn’t think it was my place to ask and I was afraid of what I’d
find out if I did.
“Are we in danger?” I at least needed to know that.
“Yes. The people after me have found my location here. So, this is
no longer a safe place for both of you. I’m taking you to Joburg where
you’ll be safe.” I tampered down the panic I could feel rising and helped
him pack our staff. They loaded a car and took us to a private airstrip. My
nerves got the better of me as we parked next to a sleek private jet on the
tarmac. I’ve never flown before, and I didn’t think I needed my first
experience to have an audience.
I must have taken too long to move as I felt Lusanda’s hand tugging
at mine, and I moved up the stairs on shaky legs. The crew greeted him by
name and smiled at me as we walked past them. He took a seat next to mine
while Lungelo sat on the other side of the aisle, giving us some privacy. The
interior of the jet was luxurious in colours of white and brown. It looked big
enough to accommodate at least twenty people and the seats were recliners,
probably suitable for long journeys.
“Are you okay?” He took my hand and softly stroked my palm with
his thumb.
“Nervous, first time flying.” His hold tightened.
“You’ll be fine. I’m here to distract you.” I let out a nervous laugh
as he nuzzled below my ear. He pulled away as a crew member came to
offer us drinks. She had orange juice for me and a glass of amber liquid for
him. The take-off was uncomfortable, but as soon as we were airborne my
tummy settled.
“So, you own this.” My gaze swept over the interior of the jet.
“Yeah.”
“How rich are you? No! don’t answer that.” He chuckled. “I feel
like I don’t know you at all.”
He turned towards me, “We are getting to know each other, right?”
His eyes searched mine, and I nodded. “These,” he waved his hand “are just
things. The real me is in here,” he pointed to his chest. I thought it was the
sweetest thing he’d said.
“Okay.” I couldn’t help but worry that I was way out of my depth.
“You are going to meet my friends. They have money. They have
worked hard for it, but they are still the humblest people I’ve ever known.
You’ll love them and they’ll love you.” I smiled at him even though the
knot in my tummy didn’t loosen, coiling tighter instead.
An hour later we were landing at another private airstrip in Joburg. A guy
named Themba met us; they referred to him as Terror.
The guy looked terrifying with his bulky muscles, arms and neck
covered in tattoos. He didn’t say much as he drove us to Lusanda’s place
with Lungelo sitting in front while Lusanda and I sat at the back. Two other
cars were travelling with us for extra security. My eyes were glued to the
window, watching as the car navigated through traffic. It was overwhelming
to see how busy and packed the roads were. As we left the busy freeway
behind, the tall buildings in the city caught my interest. So, this is the place
of gold? We drove to what I assumed was the fringes of the city as there
was less traffic and the area seemed more residential with newly renovated
buildings around. We turned into a quieter street and drove into a shady tall
building that had its walls painted with street art. The shady building had
me doubting his moneyed status.
The imposing, high, gated entrance to the building which needed a
password and fingerprints had me intrigued. Then it led to undercover
parking where there were a few luxury cars parked close to the elevators.
We parked next to a private lift. He punched in numbers on the discrete pad
on the side of the elevator; the pad flashed green and the doors slid open.
There was no other panel inside and after a pause the doors slid shut,
whisking us to the top level.
My breath caught as the elevator’s doors opened to pale laminated
wooden floors. The floor plan was open. My eyes first went to the wall
opposite me on the far side, only made of floor to ceiling glass windows, I
could see a huge pool gleaming even from where I stood. I could barely
register that people had walked past me and disappeared somewhere in the
house. Lusanda’s voice calling me jerked my eyes from the view to find
him standing in the middle of a plush living room.
“Are you going to stand by the door or come in baby?” He smiled
gently. The living room which had white couches with overstuffed blue and
grey cushions, a modern gas fireplace with a TV mounted above it was the
focal point of the living room. The solid coffee table at the centre matched
the most stunning winding staircase that led to the upper level. Opposite the
current living room, we were standing in, there was another more formal
living area that led to the outside balcony. A bar area to its right. On the
other side of the staircase was an equally beautiful dining room with a long
dining table. The dining room led to a beautiful contemporary kitchen,
which would rival any chef’s kitchen. It had lights hanging from the ceiling
above a large working island with white and grey countertops. The look
was current and sleek, but not sterile. The appliances in a variety of bright
colours brought life into the room.
 “This place is amazing.” I couldn’t hide the awe in my voice.
Lusanda acknowledged the compliment with a smile, “Thank you.”
“It’s such a contrast from the outside.” His grin got wider.
“That’s the idea, My Pearl. Now come let me show you upstairs so
you can freshen up.” I nodded. He led me up the winding stairs and we
landed on the second level. I was as blown by it as I was by the lower level.
I could see the whole layout of the lower level, and from up there it was
breath-taking. “This floor has bedrooms. Then up there,” he pointed on
another set of stairs, “is my office.”
“It’s just bedrooms here? How many?”
“Seven, my friends Luxolo and Lubabalo have rooms for when they
visit. I converted one bedroom to a nursery for Uvi, which we’ll probably
remodel to accommodate the twins. The other rooms are for guests. A few
staff members − including Terror and Lungsta − occupy the rest of the
floors and one floor has my personal gym,” he explained.
The bedrooms occupied most of the floor. There was another seating
area by the stairs. The furniture in there was more masculine. There were
light brown leather couches, dark wood furniture. The cushions, paintings
hanging on the high walls, and all the other décor brought colour and made
the room just as beautiful. He led me to the last door down the passage.
“This is where all the magic will happen,” he declared as he opened
the door with a flourish. My eyes took in the spacious room with an
enormous bed in the centre covered in grey and white bedding, headboard
against the wall, flanked by matching pedestals. It seemed more like a stage
than a bed. There was a seating area on the other side which led to a
balcony. My eyes went opposite the bed and I saw a dressing unit with
doors on each side. “Those doors lead to a walk-in closet.” He gestured
towards the doors. “It’s supposed to be his and hers, but it has just been
me,” he shrugged. “But that is about to change.” I rolled my eyes.
“Bathroom is through there.”
“These paintings are so…” I couldn’t find the word though as I
looked at the two paintings hanging on the wall above the bed. They had the
same signature I’d seen on the one’s I’d seen downstairs and by the stairs.
“Captivating. Ryan made then,” he said.
“He is talented.” I offered. “I need the bathroom.” The beauty and luxury
that met I as I walked in didn’t surprise me. There was a sizable bathtub in
the centre with one chrome tap curving over the edge. On the left of the tub
were his and hers basins with mirrors above on the other side, a wide glass
door, and I couldn’t help myself I peeked.
My jaw dropped when I saw the wide shower that could probably fit
five people. I shook my head in disbelief. What am I doing here? Next to
the shower door was another closed door, and I opened to find the toilet
with a basin on the wall. I found him sitting on the chaise chair at the foot
of the bed when I returned from the bathroom. My bags were on the floor.
“You can use the closet to pack your stuff, there is still enough space
open. But that can wait. For now, I need to feed you and my baby,” he said
getting to his feet and winding his arm around my waist, leading me back to
the lower level. As we reached the living room, Lungsta and Terror needed
his attention. I went to the kitchen and get started on dinner. The kitchen
was overwhelming with all the over the top appliances that I gave up on
cooking and went back to his bedroom to take a nap.
I woke up a while later feeling well-rested, still reluctant to leave the
comfort of the heavenly bed I was lying on. My tummy had other ideas
though as it complained. I threw the throw blanket off me and stepped off
the bed and almost purred as my feet sank into the plush carpet. I needed
my slip-ons, but my bags were nowhere in sight, so I headed towards the
walk-in closet. Which turned out to be just another extension of the room,
with shelves in varieties of shapes.
My clothes occupied the small section of the area, everything neatly
folded or hung. I went further into the room, his clothes sectioned according
to colour and design. Shoes − he had shoes for days − formal, casual,
combat boots. I shook my head at the way everything was organised and
wondered who in the world was responsible; I didn’t think Lusanda had the
time.
I went back to my allocated section of the closet, cringing at my
meagre belongings, grabbed my slip-ons and left the room. I found the
lower floor empty and my paranoia got the best of me at being by myself in
such a big space, so I went to check for Lusanda in his office. I followed the
stairs he’d said led to his office, which led me straight to the only door
there. I found it ajar, so I didn’t bother to knock as I pushed it open.
The room that I walked into was a futuristic technology lab of some
sort. My mind couldn’t comprehend what I was seeing, and my pulse
picked up, my palms getting sweaty. There were monitors everywhere
displaying different countries, major cities, aerial views, and side views
displayed. The other side had views from what seemed to be live feeds from
certain areas, streets, and buildings.
But the one that had caught my attention when I first walked into the
room, the one he’d been working on. Of course, he’d immediately swiped
his hand sideways, switching everything off when he’d realised he had
company. It had been a hologram of some sort, where he had been using his
hands to navigate through. Where the hologram visual had been, there was
currently a blank space. He cautiously watched me as I went further into the
room. For a moment, my body reacted at the sight of him wearing glasses
which made him as sexy as hell, and the slim-fitting sweatpants and t-shirt
hugged his ripped frame perfectly.
“Who the hell are you?” He exhaled deeply.

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 The calm before the storm

“I asked you a question, Lusanda.” Her eyes had widened into

saucers since she’d walked in. “Who are you?” Was she ready for the

answer to that? I didn’t think so, but I had to tell her something.
“Come, let’s go sit down.” I moved to take her hand, and she took a
step backwards. “Have you eaten?”
“I don’t want food Lusanda and stop stalling,” she said, her voice
slightly cracking. Fuck! Was she terrified of me?
“I'm not stalling baby. You need to eat. Come, let’s go.” She ignored
my stretched hand and led me out of the office to the kitchen. She sat on the
highchair watching me as I warmed up the takeaway food that we had
ordered and dished up for her. “Eat up.” She hesitated for a second, then
began eating.
“Well, I’m waiting,” she said after a few bites.
“There is a lot I have to tell you, unfortunately, I can’t tell you all of
it right now. Firstly, because I don’t want to overwhelm you and secondly,
I’m not ready to.” She dropped her eyes, pursing her lips. “I will tell you
when the time is right, baby.” Her eyes returned to mine. “I’m not a spy. I
help the government here and there when they require my services or when
I feel the need to, but I’m not employed by them. I’m a hacker, well
amongst other things. Give me any computer or software, I can crack it
open and infiltrate it. I’ve developed programs for banks, governments,
airlines, armies, telecommunications companies, basically anyone who can
afford me.” She blinked a few times.
“Wow, so you are basically a computer genius?”
One way of describing me. “Yeah.”
“Don’t you ever rob their systems, especially banks?”
 “I could but I don’t. Some use their skills for malicious intent, and
that’s when the governments would ask for my services in catching them.”
She bit her lower lip, and that did things to my body that were inappropriate
for this moment and this conversation.
“That doesn't sound dangerous. What are you involved in that has
put us in danger?” I sat back in my chair, impressed by her reasoning.
“I may have gotten in the way of some bad people,” I hedged. “They
didn’t like that, so now they are looking for revenge.” Her eyes narrowed.
“Why don’t you ask the government to help you?”
“These people are bigger than the government babe,” I said
grabbing a glass and pouring juice. I passed it to her.
“I’m not sure what to think, Lusanda. This is too much. How my life
at home suddenly seems a breeze compared to what I’ve gotten myself into
here?”
I took her hand, “I promise you we will be fine. No harm will come
to you or my baby.” I brought her hand to my lips.
“Our baby,” she corrected as my heart smiled.
“I need to get back to work. You can watch some TV or go lie down; I’ll find
you as soon as I finish.” She nodded. “Babe.” She rolled her eyes.
“Okay. Don’t take too long. This place is a bit intimidating.”
I was tempted to join her, but I had pressing matters I needed to
attend to. I went back to the office. I received an email with an attachment.
When I opened it, bile rose in my throat and my hand on the mouse shook.
It was a picture of Lubabalo and I holding two of the triplets outside our
church building. The next picture was of Ndoni outside by the pool in
Durban with her bump showing. I almost jumped when my phone rang.
“You have forced my hand, Lusanda. I don’t want it to be this way.
If you continue to be stubborn, I will eliminate every person in those
photos. You know I don’t bluff.” The arrogant son of a bitch spoke as if he
wasn’t threatening my family.
“What do you want?” I growled.
“Go to Global Hotel suite 1508. The arrangements have begun. You
have a week to see this through. I need evidence.” He hung up. I dialled
Terror.
“Sands.”
“I need you at the penthouse ASAP.”
“Sure.” A few minutes later he arrived.
 “You’ll stay here tonight. Lungelo will have to organise extra
security for the Mthimkhulu’s, Luxolo’s family, Lubabalo and Ryan’s
family. These people are here, and they mean business.”
“Uncle Mxo?”
“They don’t need him. They’ve got more than enough leverage. I
have to go.”
“Are you going to go through it?”
“I’ll try to stall, but I know Dumisani, he is not bluffing.” I went
upstairs to check on Ndoni and found her sleeping. I ran a finger along her
cheek, and she didn’t even stir. After one more look, I turned on my heels
and left.
There were two security men flanking the door of the suite who let
me pass with no questions asked. I took a deep breath and knocked. The
door opened, revealing her beautiful face. Her eyes slightly widened when
she saw me.
“Lusanda!” She stretched out her arms and came for a hug. “Wow.
You are all grown up!” We parted but still held each other’s hands.
“Hello, Melo. You are all grown up too. No more braces, huh?” She
laughed.
“Braces are long gone when I was eighteen already. It was worth all
the teasing, though. Look at my perfect teeth.” She flashed her teeth. “It’s
been so long since I saw you.”
“Fourteen years Mellow Yellow.” She laughed. “May I come in?”
“Of course, yes.” She opened the door wider, allowing me in. I
followed her to the lounge and couldn’t help but admire her legs in the short
pyjamas she wore. Now she was tall and slim, her long weave flowing
down her back, which made her lighter tone stand out. She differed greatly
from the chubby-cheeked teenager I remembered. “Anything to drink?”
“Whiskey please if you have.” I took a seat on the couch. She
poured me a glass and wine for her as she came and sat opposite me.
“How have you been?” She leaned forward and her generous
cleavage threatened to spill over her tank top.
“Good.” I took a sip of my drink.
“You really don’t want to do this, do you?” She leaned back against
the couch. I sighed.
“No. I don’t Melokuhle. I never did.”
“I understand, but do you have a choice in the matter?”
 “It seems like I don’t. That's what I hate the most. It’s not just me
anymore, you know. There is a lot at stake. Many people could get hurt if I
don’t go through with it and still do if I go through with it.” She stood up
and walked to the balcony. I followed her.
“You know I always prayed for Prince Charming who would come
and rescue me from that miserable place I called home. I hate being a pawn
in my father’s dealings. Not having a say in what goes on in my life. Look
at what standing up for herself did to my sister. He destroyed her, and she
ended up killing herself!” Her eyes clouded with unshed tears.
“I’m sorry about your sister. I read about it in the newspapers.”
“Couldn’t you at least come to the funeral?” A tear dropped out of
her eye and she furiously wiped it with her hand.
“You know I couldn't Melo.”
“Then why are you here? I’m confused, Lusanda. Why am I even
here?”
“I had no choice but to come, Melo.” Her eyes hardened; her tears
suddenly gone.
“Then you are no different from them!” Her face turned a dark
shade of pink.
“I have no choice,” I gritted. “They are threatening my family!”
“What family? Last I checked you said you had no family!” That
stung, especially from her. “What changed?”
“A lot has changed in the past fourteen years, Melo. I’m not the boy
you knew. I had to grow up, fast. Yes, I made a family for myself. But right
now, I need you to help me. I can’t pull this off without you.” Her shoulders
sagged as she sighed.
“You also want to use me.” It was not a question, but a resigned
statement. I pulled her closer to me and hugged her. Then tilted her back as
I looked into eyes.
“I'm not here to use you. I’m here asking for your help.”
“You know a lot is expected of me and I also don’t have a choice. I
have accepted my fate but what you are asking me leaves me with nothing.”
“It might give you your freedom too.”
“Then you don’t know my father very well,” she shrugged my hands
off her shoulders. “What do you want me to do Lusanda?” I moved closer
to her, then wound my hand around her neck, pulling her head closer.
 “This.” I dipped my head and kissed her. Her lips were soft and
pliant against mine. She wound her arms around my neck and responded. It
felt wrong to be kissing her, but I deepened the kiss. I slid my hands down
her waist and hooked them below her butt, then picked her up and carried
her straight to the bedroom. I lay her gently on the bed and hovered above
her.
“Do you know how many times I’ve gone to bed dreaming of your
lips?” she whispered, and my spine stiffened. I might be or may have been
− I wasn’t quite sure about my status − a fuck boy, but I was never
heartless.
“I have to go.” I got off the bed.
“So soon!” She sat up, giving me the look that used to make me do
anything for her when we were little.
“Melo, I really must go.”
“Please stay.” Her eyes looked at me pleadingly. “I want to hear
more about your new family. What have you been up to for the past
fourteen years?” I sighed and returned on the bed sitting next to her.
“I can’t tell you about my family. I’ve been busy these past years
growing my business.”
“What is your business?” What is my business? It seemed like I’d
been explaining my business a lot lately.
“Software programmer. So, I have a client base that I’ve
accumulated over the years.”
“So, you can work from anywhere?” I nodded.
“And you? What do you do?” I needed to shift the direction of the
conversation.
“I did an online course in Public Administration. You know how my
father is. No child of his would attend full time. I have never used the
bloody thing. They had prepared me to become the perfect wife or hostess.”
I caught a flash of a red dot coming from below the side lamp. I pulled
Melo in my arms and kissed her, swallowing her gasp of surprise. I trailed
my lips to her ear.
“What are your expectations from this?” I whispered.
“It's what is expected of me.”
“You know I will not go through with this. Right?” I whispered as I
continued to nuzzle her ear. I pulled back and climbed off the bed, avoiding
to look toward the planted device. “I’ll pick you up on Saturday, you are my
plus one at a family wedding.”
“Okay. I’ll be ready.” I nodded and left.
When I reached my car, I switched my phone on and I received two
messages signalling missed calls from Ndoni. That's the reason I had my
phone off, I didn't want any distractions and didn’t want to lie to her about
my whereabouts. A call came through just then.
“I’m glad to see that you’ve finally come to your senses. Father will
be pleased,” he drawled.
“Stay away from my family, you asshole!”
“Your family?” He burst out laughing.
“Fuck off!” His laughter died down.
“Do what is expected of you and no harm will come to them.” Then
he hung up.
It was early hours of the morning when I arrived at the penthouse
the guys were still up siting in the lounge. I first went to the kitchen to make
myself a cup of coffee while Lungelo followed me.
“You look like a man going towards his execution,” Lungelo said,
leaning against the kitchen island.
“It might be a possibility. How is Ndoni?”
“She is asleep. She was up a few hours ago, had something to eat
and went back to bed without asking your whereabouts. Did you tell her
where you were going?” He frowned.
“Of course, I didn’t!” Knowing her, she wouldn’t ask about my
whereabouts from anyone, but that doesn't mean she didn’t wonder where I
was. And a big part of me wanted her to ask. I took my cup of coffee and
walked into the lounge with him following me. Terror was on his phone.
“How did it go tonight?” Lungelo asked.
“They saw what they needed to see.”
“Sands. I might have some solid info on Doom,” Terror said,
looking up from his phone.
“That he is fucking Des’s wife, Lisa, and that he sent his goons to
Zanzibar to follow Des and brought the evidence to the wife. Helping Lisa
to screw Des over. Or that he’s been messing with Sibu.” He shrugged and
put his phone in his pocket.
“Don’t you think you should give Des heads up.”
“I’m dealing with it.”
 We worked through the night because I had a feeling that Dumisani
will make his move at the wedding and I needed to be prepared. There was
this one file I needed. It wasn’t electronic because they knew I would find
it. Just as the sun came up Ndoni walked down the stairs and went straight
to the kitchen, I went to join her.
“Good morning, baby.”
“Good morning,” she coolly responded.
“How did you sleep?”
“I slept well. Thank you. Is there any left-over food? I’m starving.”
She looked at me briefly, then returned to her cup of tea.
“I’ll make you something. Sit down.”
“It’s ok, I’ll make it. I’m only pregnant, not an invalid.”
“I know that, but I want to.” She sat on the highchair. “How is the
morning sickness today?” I prepared breakfast for her.
“It has stopped since I got here even nausea. The problem now is
that my appetite has increased.”
“That's good, it means my baby will be well fed. He needs to come
out strong.” I pulled out ingredients from the fridge to make an omelette. I
am not much of a cook, but I wouldn’t starve.
“Our baby, and what if it’s a girl?”
“Then she will be my princess.”
“I’m due for a check-up in a week.”
“I’ll make an appointment for you with Dr Phillips. She was Vuyo’s
doctor.”
“Okay. I’ll be more comfortable with a female gynae, anyway.” She
watched me in silence as I cooked. I kept waiting for her to ask me about
where I was last night, but she didn’t ask, and I found that to be annoying. I
dished up for the both of us and poured her juice, then sat in front of her.
“I went out last night.” Her eyes flew to mine. “I had some business
to take care off. I only came back early hours of the morning. Then I had
more work to do. That's why I didn’t come to bed.” She took a long and
weary sigh.
“You don’t have to explain yourself to me, Lusanda. I know where
my place is.” Why didn’t that sit well with me?
“Ndoni−”
“Don’t complicate things, Lusanda. There are still no strings
attached. Remember? We are only having a baby and the bonus is great sex.
So, let’s not start labelling things.” It perplexed me and I felt my ego dent a
bit.
“Okay, I remember.” We ate and finished in silence. “Tomorrow
there is a wedding reception I have to go to. Luxolo’s mom got married a
few weeks ago and they are having a formal reception tomorrow.”
“Okay.” I felt put out at her nonchalant response.
“Lungsta and Terror will be with you. This is a safe place, so you
will be fine.”
“I trust you to keep us safe.” She drained the rest of her juice.
“I need to freshen up and go back to the office.” I went towards her
and gave her a tentative kiss. Relief flooded through me when she returned
the kiss.
The following morning, I woke up early and watched as Ndoni slept
next to me. I took the injection next to the bed and injected her just between
her shoulder and her neck as I implanted a small tracking device on her. It
wasn’t harmful and best of all non-detected by other sources. She flinched
as she felt the prick and her eyes fluttered opened. I kissed her near the
injected area while hiding the syringe under the pillow.
“Did you just bite me?” Her voice was still full of sleep.
“What can I say? You look good enough to eat.” I continued to plant
kisses along her chest down to her breasts.
“No man Lusanda I need to sleep,” she mumbled then turned the
other way going back to sleep. I took out the syringe and threw it in a trash
bin.
Hours later, I was at the hotel fetching Melokuhle. She looked regal
in her deep blue mermaid gown she wore with her hair styled in an updo
bun. We drove straight to the reception. The paparazzi were everywhere,
expected considering who Ryan’s father was. He attracted a global audience
and on the local front people were still following Lubabalo’s story, a PK’s
son engaged to another man. You put Bongani and Gcobani in the mix, then
you created a frenzy. I avoided them at all costs because I remained
anonymous in all my dealings and planned to keep it that way. However,
that might not be possible for much longer.
When we walked in, we ran into Lubabalo, Ryan, Luxolo by the
foyer. Luxolo looked like he’d rather be anywhere else than at his mother’s
wedding. I could sympathise with him considering Vuyo would be in
attendance.
 Their separation was putting a strain on all of us because we loved
them both and just wanted them to reconcile. The talks of their divorce had
me want to yell at them both. What Luxolo did was painful and heart-
breaking, but I still believed there was still hope for them to reconcile.
There was definitely love between them still. We just needed to get them
alone so they could finally talk things out.
I introduced Melo as my playmate because I didn’t know how else
to introduce her without raising questions. After the introductions were
over, we all walked into the room and sat at the main table. My past was
catching up with me when my eyes clashed with Kelly’s at our table, which
was something I should’ve expected as the main table hosted all friends and
family. Since she was Ryan’s sister she was obviously invited. I looked
around the room and was pleased to see the heavy presence of security
discreetly observing.
It was a while later, after the speeches and toasts were done, that the
one thing I’d feared would happen but had prayed that it wouldn’t,
happened. One nanny who was supposed to watch the kids came running
with blood gushing out of her forehead, screaming that the kids had been
taken. I knew then that they had infiltrated us. While everyone was in panic
mode, I received a call.
“We think you might need a little motivation to do the right thing.”
The hairs at the back of my neck stood as Dumisani’s voice calmly said on
the other side of the line.
“You fucker! I will kill you! Return those kids you motherfucker
and then run!”

OceanofPDF.com
 The real Lusanda Ngcobo

“You know where to find them,” my brother said in his smug tone
and then hung up. I looked at the phone in my hand for a few seconds my

heart beating wildly against my chest. I needed an answer that would satisfy

the people in this room and I highly doubted that anything short of the truth
would suffice. Was this the point I lose the family that meant the world to

me?
My heart clenched painfully at the thought. Then I slowly turned to
face everyone, and they trained murderous eyes on me. For the first time in
my life, I was terrified. I felt a shiver course through me as I realised that
the people in this room might be more dangerous than the ones who took
the babies. Vuyo was the first person to run to the play area to check on the
kids. We were not sure how many and which kids were taken.
“Kamva, Buhle!” Bongani shouted.
“Elethu!” Khwezi called at the same time, both panicked. I guess it
made sense to call out the older ones as they could respond. We scattered
into different directions as we desperately looked for the kids. I followed
the direction of the nursery. There was a banging sound that came from one
closet. Lubabalo removed the chair that had been used to keep the closet
closed and opened to find three wide-eyed faces, their bodies trembling.
“Daddy! They took all of them,” Kamva, Bongani’s eldest son,
spoke extremely fast as he scrambled out of the closet. I looked around to
see if I could find any clues or evidence left behind. But there was nothing.
“They knocked some nannies out. They are all in there.” He pointed to
another closet. Des and I found them lying unconscious, seemingly
drugged. Des immediately checked for their pulse while calling for an
ambulance.
“Luxolo, where are my babies,” I heard Vuyo asking, her tone soft
and her voice cracking.
“Seems like they have taken all the infants,” Khwezi responded
absently.
“Who in their right minds would take eight infants?” That was
Bongani’s voice. The tension in the room rose and I could feel everyone’s
eyes turning on me.
Suddenly Gcobani had me against the wall with his hands around
my neck, while Ryan and Luxolo were trying to untangle him. His grip was
tight, and I felt my lungs screaming for air. My heart cracked at the
desperate look in his eyes as they searched mine. I allowed him that
reaction, welcomed the pain even, I deserved it.
I would’ve done worse to anyone who would have gotten my
unborn child in danger. I had been expecting the reaction and knew there
was worse to come. I could see at the corner of my eye Mam Nosipho
dismissing the guests who had had begun to take pictures and the reporters
eager to find out what was going on. I think she knew it wouldn’t be good
for the situation we were in.
“Where are my kids’ you son of a bitch? Who took my kids?”
Gcobani roared his grip on my neck got tighter. I did my best to do the
breathing exercises that would allow me a bit of oxygen in. He isn’t a
fighter or a trained killer, hence the impact of what he was doing wasn’t as
deadly.
What exactly did I tell him? Suddenly energy seemed to zap out of
him. He loosened his grip and let go with his hands on his head as he turned
his back on me. I watched as Bongani pried his hands off his head and
pulled him in a comforting embrace. I stood feeling my body tightly coiled
while I leaned against the wall trying to regulate my wildly beating heart.
Just as my heart began beating at a steady pace, Vuyo pulled out the
gun from one of the security guards inside the room and walked up to me
with the gun steadily pointed on my forehead. For fuck sakes, what kind of
security did I hire? I didn’t have time to dwell on that; the look in Vuyo’s
eyes told me she wasn’t fucking around.
Her eyes laced with pain, yet they were hard and cold as they held
mine. Luxolo moved towards her; she pointed the gun towards the ceiling
and pulled the trigger which stopped him in his tracks. This was not the
Vuyo I knew, the woman in front me was ready to kill. I knew a killer when
I saw one; I had looked into more aggressive, heartless faces before. I knew
how a person looked when they had nothing to lose. It was a look that
stared into the fires of hell and challenged them, taking them on. At that
moment Vuyo had nothing to lose.
“Lusanda where are my kids?” she asked quietly, her tone measured.
Her lethal stare felt painful and piercing, tearing at my heart. The silence in
the room just as deadly, filled with angry, tense energy.
“I know who took them.” She blinked once, the pain in her eyes
twisting the knife lodged in my heart. “I swear to you I’ll bring them back,
alive. I give you my word. All of you.” My eyes swept around the room.
“If you don’t find them or something happens to any of them, I’ll
kill you myself.” She lowered the gun and gave it back to the security idiot.
My heart clenched painfully at the thought of her losing another baby. I’d
die before letting that happened.
“Who has them Lusanda?” Bongani asked, holding his two kids in
his arms. “What do they want?”
“If it’s money that they want, I can give them.” Steven, Ryan’s
father offered. This would’ve been a lot easier if it was money they were
after.
“It’s not money,” I grimaced at my clipped tone. “We need to go!
Melo!” Without waiting for anyone’s response, I turned, and all the parents
missing their kids and Ryan and Lubabalo followed. We left everyone else
to deal with the police, paramedics and the media that were circling
smelling a front-page scoop. Someone also needed to look after the kids
that were left behind.
“Hey baby, Lusanda will find them. They will be fine.” I overheard
Luxolo whispering to a pale looking Vuyo, not sure whether he was trying
to convince himself or her. His belief in me had me choking back the tears
that stung my eyes.
“I hope and pray love. Otherwise, this could be the end of our
family as we know it.” Did they realise that they had been clinging to each
other while sweet endearments were flowing effortlessly out of their lips? I
don’t think any of us had heard those names in a while. I silently prayed
that if there was a good thing to come out of this travesty, it would be their
reunion.
 Everyone drove back in tinted sedans and SUV’s to my building with
a throng of security escorting us; security I no longer had faith in. When we
arrived at the penthouse, we found Ndoni watching TV. My heart fluttered at
seeing her. Our eyes briefly locked as she stood. I felt the warmth of her
stare penetrating the icy wall that had gripped my insides since this ordeal
had begun.
I felt everyone’s questioning stares at her presence at my place. I
compounded everyone’s shock when I walked up to her, cupped her face,
and planted a heated kiss on her lips. Her eyes searched mine as we pulled
apart. I’m not sure what she saw in my eyes but in hers, I saw her warmth,
concern and comfort and I clung onto that. I turned with my arm around her
waist to face the shocked faces in the room. I felt her body shake and
tightened my hold on her.
Her hand slid along my side to my back, then drifted up to my spine
beneath my jacket, caressing my back, a soothing balm. Her touch was soft
and yet firm, just like her. She was such a contradiction, a unique mix of
strength and vulnerability.
“Everyone meet Ndoniyamanzi. Baby, this is everyone.” I looked
down at her and found her eyes warily watching as the entire group stared
at her in shock except for Melo. Melo looked at her with undisguised
contempt, her nostrils flaring, and her lips turned down. Ndoni suddenly
moved towards Gcobani, shaking his hand vigorously.
“Mr Bhengu,” she gushed. A strange feeling tugged at my gut, was I
jealous? I don’t do jealous, but there I was wishing to chop Gcobani’s arm
off. “I’m your biggest fan, sir.” Great! The tugging escalated to squeezing
my insides. “I love your work. I’ve been following it for years.” She was
oblivious to the tension in the room.
“Pleasure meeting you, Ndoni,” Gcobani responded.
“You are pregnant!” Luxolo blurted out, stating the obvious and
breaking the fan moment. That seemed to bring her back as she
immediately dropped Gcobani’s hand and looked back at me, her eyes
weary again. I walked towards her and took her hand, tugging her against
me. I needed the contact, craved her warmth.
“Yes, she is pregnant and yes it’s mine.” They exchanged confused
looks amongst each other. I knew they had more questions for me, but the
missing kids were the perpetual thought for everyone “We will talk about it
later right now I need to get those kids. Ndoni, this is Melokuhle, a
childhood friend.” I addressed the other elephant in the room, daring Melo
to disagree.
“And your betrothed.” Melo met the challenge with her chin as she
pointedly looked at me. I heard the shocked gasps and then murmuring that
I wasn’t willing to entertain.
“Heh Fondini! What is going on with you? Last I checked you were
fucking, everything on legs. Now, not only are you about to be a father but
you also have a bride to be!” I cringed and tightly closed my eyes, Luxolo
had no fucking timing! “On top of that, my kids are missing because of you.
Who the fuck are you? Because I sure as hell don’t know you. You’re not
the friend I’ve known for almost fourteen years! Who the hell has my kids!
Talk now, Lusanda Ngcobo!” I flinched at his roar, but he had been
simmering with rage and fear since we left the reception.
I knew he needed answers because he had been patient enough. I
owed all of them at least that. I quietly asked Lungsta to take Melo away. I
didn’t want her around when I revealed what I was about to. I could never
really trust her because she might work for them. I removed my jacket and
threw it on one of the dining room chairs.
“Take a seat.” I motioned for everyone to sit while I took a single
chair, leaned forward with my fingers netted, resting elbows on my knees as
cold fear skittered down my spine. I didn’t want to do this, but I had no
choice. Everyone except Gcobani was seated.
He remained standing against the wall, hands in his pockets with a
scowl on his face. Did he think he could intimidate me with that stance? I
low-key wanted to laugh, but it wasn’t the time. No, what had me shaken
was the look of betrayal I could see on my friend’s faces. The thought that
after all of it, I could lose my family.
“My father has your kids.” There was a collective gasp around the
room. I have never spoken about my father, even to Luxolo and Lubabalo.
The only relative they ever knew was Ta Mxo, my uncle.
“Your father? I thought your parents were dead!” Lubabalo’s brow
knitted in confusion.
“That's what I led you to believe.” I cleared my throat and stole a
glance at Ndoni, who sat across from me. She gave me a small smile, and I
took that as the encouragement I needed. “By the time I met you, I had left
my home and disowned them as my parents.”
“You disowned them?” Luxolo asked.
 I held up my hand, “Let me explain, then you can ask all the
questions. But let me assure you that he won’t hurt them. He just needed
more leverage to get me to do what he wants me to do.” My eyes connected
with Ndoni as sweat trickled down my back, “To marry Melokuhle.” She
blinked several times and her posture became rigid as she sat back on the
couch. “My father is the King in one of the Twelve Kingdoms.”
“Are you shitting me!” Bongani interrupted. “I always thought that
was a myth.”
“You have an idea then. These are twelve different kingdoms
allocated in all seven continents and five hidden islands. In Africa, my
family is the ruling kingdom. These royals rule everything in each continent
and islands. The governments first consult with them before they make any
decisions.
They have a lot of power and control over what goes on in the
world, the economy, health, wars, everything. For the royal family to
continue their rule they need to marry royal blood. There’s a hierarchy to
this whole thing. There are the kingdoms, governments and then all the
other well-known royalties.”
“I need a drink for this,” Luxolo muttered getting on his feet and
that seemed to be the consensus in the room as everyone followed him to
the bar except for Ndoni who remained seated.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Melokuhle.” She looked up; her
eyes guarded.
“It seems there is a lot you didn’t tell me.” Her eyes glanced towards
the bar, then back at me. “Engagement Lusanda?” Before I could respond,
Luxolo and Vuyo returned with their drinks in hand and sat next to each
other. The rest of them returned to join us and they looked at me
expectantly.
“In the hierarchy I mentioned, means my family is at the top of the
chain in the continent. If the current royal family doesn’t marry royalty,
then they must surrender the throne to another nation. They have transferred
this throughout Africa over the centuries. My family has ruled from my
grandfather, who was a descendant of the royal family.” I could see
confusion, betrayal, hurt and doubt swirling through their eyes My story
might have sounded like a fairy tale and far-fetched if it hadn’t been for
Bongani’s earlier comment acknowledging the rumours.
 “Now here’s the dilemma.” I let out a sigh and continued. “My
father has three legitimate kids: Dumisani, we call him Duma and he calls
himself Doom and two younger sisters, Sindisiwe and Liyana. I am the
illegitimate one. My mother worked as my father’s PA. They had an affair.
Apparently, my mother never knew he was married until after they
conceived me. When he found out, he wanted to marry her as the second
wife, my mother refused and ran away to hide with my uncle. He could
only find us when I was eight. Well, his people were the ones that came for
her. They captured my mother and took me with leaving my uncle for dead.
I believe he has my mother locked up somewhere. They sent me to live at
the palace and I never knew where they took her.” I took a break and looked
around the room with everyone looking back at me.
“Duma was supposed to be the next king. He is six years older than
me. So, when I moved in with them, he was almost a man at sixteen. He got
mixed up with the wrong crowd and because of greed and his sadistic
nature, they caught him in so many compromising positions that the
Council of the Twelve Kingdoms couldn’t cover up for him anymore. They
deemed him unworthy and therefore the mantle fell to me. But it wasn’t
until later that I found out I needed to be the next king with an arranged
marriage that came with it. I’m getting ahead of myself.
“When my father took me in at eight years old and made up a story
about my mother going away for school, I settled down then realised I had
an interest in computers. I could go through any computer and break any
code, even from that age. When my father saw this, he sent me to the best
schools that harnessed and helped me to develop that talent. But in my
spare time and during holidays, from the age of ten, they trained me as an
assassin.”
“What?” Lubabalo asked, his tone harsh.
“That is the norm with these kingdoms. My duty was to protect the
king, Duma, when we both came of age. They made me go to so many army
camps, I lost count. The training continued as I grew older. I am trained in
combat, martial arts, sword fighting and guns, any art war, you name it I’m
an expert. Basically, I am trained to be a human killing machine.
“The only normalcy I found in my childhood was my friendship
with Melokuhle. I met her when I was twelve and she was eight. She
annoyed the shit out of me. They came to our home every holiday. At the
time they had promised her to Duma, but we didn’t know that as kids.
 When I was eighteen, they led me to believe that her family was
under threat. A prime minister of a certain country was planning to
eliminate her entire family because they wanted their daughter to marry into
my family. They provided evidence for all of this. It left me convinced that
they were in danger. So, they sent me to counter the assassination by killing
the prime minister first. Only to find out that I had been set up.
I killed a high-profile person, and the penalty in that country is a
death sentence. They have enough evidence to have me prosecuted and
found guilty. That is one of the two things they have over my head. My
mother and that file.
“I ran away from home, renounced them as my family and went to
look for my uncle. He took me in and sent me to university. He was the
only family I had for a long time until I met Luxolo and Lubabalo. I have
evaded them and put them off for all these years. I didn’t give a fuck
anymore. Until y’all had kids and they saw how attached I was to the kids.
That is the leverage they needed to get me to marry Melokuhle. She
also had no say in the matter. Her sister who was promised to someone else
refused and ended up dead. These people have no concern about their kids’
welfare and happiness, all they want is power.
“What is currently happening is that my father has been given until
next year to have this marriage happen or he forfeits his throne. Hence, he
is tightening the screws on me. What is expected is for me to go home,
marry Melo, provide an heir, then you’ll have your kids back.” My cheeks
protested as I gave a smile I didn’t feel.
“Yho! You think you know someone. All this time I thought you were just a
computer geek.” Luxolo was the one to break the silence.
“Why are we only finding out now?” Lubabalo asked after a while. I
only shrugged. What else could I say? I had hoped that my father would
forfeit his kingdom, then maybe I would live my life according to my terms.
Vuyo, Luxolo and Lubabalo stood in unison and walked towards me. Vuyo
knelt before me and wrapped her arms around me, in a tight hug while
Luxolo and Lubabalo clasped my shoulders. I felt air whoosh out of my
lungs, my body trembling a little. They were still here, with me. My chest
burned, overcome with emotion.
“We’ve got you,” Lubabalo murmured as Vuyo pulled back from the
embrace. He kept his hand on my shoulder. “You are one of us, we are
family and we trust you to do your all to bring the kids home.” I nodded,
words failing me.
“Are we going to kick some ass or what?” Ryan asked with his eyes
bright and his faced flushed as the three finally gave me space. We all
looked at him in shock, then broke into laughter. It felt incredible to laugh,
and the tension in the room lessened.
“Firstly, you are not going anywhere. My father knows I will not
just give in. He has the South African army guarding him and all of Doom’s
thugs, you see those have no conscience, they take pleasure in killing. I
have two capable people who will go in with me. As much as I have been
avoiding this, I have prepared for it all my life. I don’t want people to be
unnecessarily hurt.” I was running out of patience and regretted revealing
the truth before going to rescue the kids.
“I don’t care if he has Osama and Saddam together, I’m going with
you. I’m fetching my kids!” Gcobani said it with so much conviction it
didn’t leave space for disagreement.
“I’m with you on that one,” Bongani added. “The thought of my
babies with ruthless strangers has left my blood chilled.”
“Hell, you aren’t leaving me behind!” Luxolo added to the list of
liabilities.
The room became chaotic when everyone started volunteering
themselves. When Vuyo and Thando stated their desire to go the entire
house roared and vehemently objected and the ladies, of course, took it
personally. I felt their noise drilling into my skull, and I was about to lose
my mind in that second until my eyes landed on Ndoni, who stared back at
me with a look I couldn’t pin. Pity? I couldn’t handle that. Not from her.
Pride? I didn’t deserve that either. I looked away because of the sting from
the weight of her eyes on me.
“Did you all miss the part where I said we were going to an army?
Trained army! Going with you will get all of us killed. I don’t have time to
babysit!” I directed my anger to the ungovernable crowd. However, the
argument continued until they all agreed that the men should go except for
Ryan and Lungelo. They argued that Ryan might be overwhelmed with the
situation and that was not an ideal scenario. Lungelo would watch over
them.
I took them to my office, and it didn’t escape my notice that in the
space of a week I’ve allowed more people in that space than I did since I’d
moved in.
“Oh my God!” someone exclaimed behind me as they all flocked in
and then came to an abrupt stop. Their curiosity got the better of them and
they walked further into the room. While my office tech distracted them,
Terror, Lungsta and I, went to the room that kept all my weapons, guns,
explosives, knives, swords and other gadgets which made it look like an
army base. We took what we needed and slipped unnoticed, locking them
behind in my office. I needed to do this with a few possibilities of
casualties. Taking untrained people would’ve been a suicide mission.
I couldn’t meet anyone’s eyes as I got downstairs, and I avoided any
dialogue, but the confused look on Ndoni’s face gave me pause. I wanted to
reassure her that all will be well; I needed it, but I couldn’t lie to her like
that. I knew that a lot was about to change, and she had no idea. I couldn’t
resist taking her in my arms, absorbing as much of her warmth as I could.
“I’ll send you a code to open for the office in a few,” I whispered
against her ear. She only nodded her head clinging to me. “Baby, it will be
okay. I promise.”
“I’m scared, Lusanda,” she whispered. My hold on her tightened,
probably uncomfortable with all the weapons strapped around me. I pulled
back, planting a soft kiss on her lips. The terrified look in her eyes shook
me to my core. Words I thought I would never have to confess to a lover
came unbidden, flooding my head then settling in my heart. I wanted to tell
her I loved her.
I needed her, and I was coming back for her, but they got stuck in
my throat because then I might be selling her dreams. So instead I let her go
and turned on my heels, heading for the stairs to the roof. Lungsta and
Terror were right behind me with a terrified Melo. The pilot didn’t need any
prompting as soon as we boarded; he knew what to do. It was quiet for a
while as we checked our weapons and comms. Melokuhle sat in a corner,
out of our way, hugging her knees.
“Shit, are we walking into an ambush?” Lungelo finally asked.
“Possibly. They are waiting and they know I will make a move, but I
have a plan to get us in undetected. The element of surprise should help us,”
I explained the plan to use a secret path that I used as a child to get in and
out of the compound. If that was still open, then we would be inside before
they realised, escaping a path full of innocent soldiers.
 “Are you sure no one discovered it after all these years?” Terror
asked.
“Nah, it’s strategically placed and camouflaged as a hedge wall. I
know the gardeners keep cleaning and trimming, but no one ever noticed
the entrance before.” I hoped no one ever found, out otherwise we would
have to walk through the bloodbath that would occur if we had to go
through the army.
The entire journey took about two hours before I instructed the pilot
to prepare for the drop. He knew where to take Melo afterwards. I needed
her closer when this was done. The drop wasn’t as smooth for the three of
us, the rural areas were as dark as fuck.
Fortunately, there was a stretch of flat land at the bottom of the hills,
so we landed on overgrown grass. As soon as we got our bearings, we
followed an old path which was difficult to navigate as it was covered with
grass and at some point, it became too narrow bordered by overlapping
trees. Making our way became a challenge until our eyes adjusted to the
dark. As we walked, I could make out a few landmarks around the path. The
shadows of the rolling hills on our right being the biggest source of a
compass. We moved silently, like panthers stalking their preys.
“We are here,” I said the moment I recognised the oddly shaped
rock I used as a marker. It was over a decade since I used it but as I
predicted they had kept the area clean and maintained, unlike the
surrounding area which was an overgrown bush and forest making it easy to
conceal the compound. I took out a map, spread it on the ground and turned
on a small flashlight.
“This is where are, once we get in, we split up.” I quickly showed
them where our target was and how we needed to proceed. I showed them
all the entry points, but our first plan was to eliminate the people guarding
higher up the ground. Terror was a sniper who never missed his target, and
he had poisoned darts that neutralised but didn’t kill. “Once Terror is done,
we need to move as quickly as we can. Avoid killing unless you have to.”
With a sharp nod from both, they were gone. I knew they had my back as
much as I did theirs.
Getting in and Terror neutralising the targets on the tower was the
simple part. Crawling our way through was the tough part. Once I found a
bunch of soldiers seated around the fire, I released the small gas canister
and it knocked them out before they could blink. My adrenaline took over
then as I dropped everyone in my path. Until we met the entrance of the
building that I knew housed my father.
There was no moving in silence as most of the people were Duma’s
thugs. Distance shooting began, and once we got closer the physical combat
resumed. I loved fighting with my hands more than I should. It just felt
exhilarating to drop someone with just my hands.
We moved as if synchronised with our backs against each other until
we reached the glass entrance of the primary residence and took down the
last form of defence. I knew that they could call back up and have the entire
continent respond, but for now we had them fucked. The door slid open into
my father’s vast office. I had used that entrance on purpose, knowing where
it would lead. He sat, completely relaxed with Siya in his arms and two
bodyguards behind him.
Duma stood like a brick wall on the other side, his jaw tight ready to
spring into action. I could feel his anger simmering off him, but I knew he
must have gotten an order from my father to stand down. My father is the
only person he listens to and obeys. I indicated with a wave of my hand for
Lungile and Terror to stand down, and the eye showdown continued for a
few seconds.
“Welcome home My Son, it’s been a while.” His relaxed manner
belied the situation we were in. That was my father; I had never seen him
rattled by anything. “I can see you are still against killing the innocent. An
admirable trait. You will make a great king, My Son. Now, Duma, get the
rest of the kids and hand them over.” Duma left the room and returned with
a group of ladies pushing strollers. I moved to check on the kids and they
were all sleeping.
“They are unharmed, fed and bathed. This one, however, will
remain behind.” He brushed Siya’s back nestled at the crook of his neck. He
spoke softly not to wake the kids up. “Now you two can take the rest of the
kids and go, I have things to discuss with my son.” He nodded his head
towards the door while Lungsta waited for my confirmation. I didn’t like
that Siya was remaining, but I needed the rest of the kids back to their
parents as soon as possible without traumatising them further.
“Go, let Luxolo know that I’ll bring Siya back unharmed,” I said. I
watched Lungsta and Terror leaving with the babies, trying to keep my
simmering anger under control. I had been doing that since they had
abducted the babies. I knew how to inflict pain and vengeance, but I never
believed it to be necessary until that moment when I watched my father and
brother with smug looks on their faces.
I didn’t think I was above being violent then. My body screamed for
it, but years of discipline training helped me to tamper it down. When we
invaded the compound, we could’ve easily killed everyone in our path, but I
knew those people were only following orders and most of them had
families to go back to.

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 Meet my family

M ymybody felt stiff, chilled to the bone as I watched his retreat. I wrapped
hands around my chest as if that would warm me up. For a moment
there, the look in his eyes had had my heart seizing in my chest, then
stuttering for a few seconds. It had been soft, yet possessive, claiming a part
of me I was never willing to give to anyone and yet for that split second
would’ve yielded. Stupid, considering he had an entire bride waiting. That
thought helped lessen my heart rate that had picked up a few seconds ago.
It wasn’t until he made the introductions that I understood the looks
Melokuhle had been giving me. She was the betrothed. My eyes had met
Lusanda’s who had met my stare without flinching. The swine! I had felt
my mask slip into place then. I didn’t wear my feelings on my sleeve, and I
hadn’t started then. What I didn’t understand was why he had brought me to
his house knowing there were the likes of Melokuhle that he had to deal
with.
My mind swam in a sea of confusion and it began when I was
interrupted − while watching one of those dating shows I had become
addicted to − by the front door opening and a group of people coming
through led by Lusanda. Firstly, I had not been expecting him to come back
this early.
Secondly, the people that walked in had looked like they all came
from a photoshoot of the super beautiful or from those celebrity award
shows. The suits and the dresses were luxuries I’ve only dreamt of. The
room had felt smaller once they were all inside and staring at me as if I was
some sort of alien. It could be the fact that Lusanda had come straight at me
and given me a hot deep kiss, right in front of them, leaving me slightly
flustered.
All that had moved to the back of my mind once he’d began telling
us about his life story. I thought I had a tough childhood but compared to
his mine was a breeze. My heart broke for that little boy. It bled at every
pore. The older him didn’t need my pity. He was stronger, wiser, and not
broken. But I shuddered when I thought of what it must have cost him to
get to where he was.
I’d forgotten about my anger for the moment and just wanted to hold
him and never let him go. It was not my place to do that though, and it
never was. I couldn’t even be angry at him for not telling me any of it,
especially the Melokuhle part. He was never obliged to. What Lusanda had
been from the beginning of our arrangement was honest. He never sold me
any dreams about us being together. So, I really couldn’t be angry. I
shouldn't have had any expectations, and I didn’t. If he fulfilled what he
promised, I was good.
“Did they just leave everyone else behind?” I whirled around to see
who I assumed was Ryan with a deep frown on his face.
“It seems that way,” I absently responded, my head turning back to
the exit as if Lusanda would magically reappear. “He said he would call me
as soon as they take off with a code for his office.” Just then we heard the
hum of the helicopter disappearing into the distance and as if on cue my
phone pinged signalling an incoming message.
“The guys will not take this well,” Vuyo said, relaxing on the couch.
I had sort of put their names to the faces when we’d sat around listening to
Lusanda. The only lady I didn’t have a name for sat quietly next to Vuyo.
“Let’s leave them in there for a bit. I don’t have the energy to deal with
their anger at this point,” Vuyo sighed, leaning back on the couch. “I’m
Vuyo, Luxolo’s almost ex-wife.” She made a pained face on the last part.
They didn’t seem like a couple on the verge of a divorce, but what did I
know? “And this is Thando,” she pointed to the lady next to her. “That is
Ryan.” Ryan was on his feet shrugging off his jacket. He gave me a warm
smile.
“The wait is going to kill me, literally. Let me get us some wine.” He made
his way towards the wine cellar. If I wasn’t opening the office, then I might
as well sit, I thought as I moved to sit on the one-seater.
“I can’t even sit still.” Thando got on her feet and began pacing the
floor.
“Let’s have faith. They will come back with our babies,” Vuyo said
firmly. I wondered if she believed that or she was trying to convince herself
as much as everyone else.
 “So how far along are you?” Vuyo asked. I didn’t know these people
yet, but they were asking about my intimate details. My discomfort grew,
but I still obliged them.
“Almost twenty weeks.” I gave her a tentative smile that begged her
off this line of questioning. Just then Ryan returned with a bottle of red
wine and three glasses.
“That sly fox Sanda! He has been hiding you the whole time! He
should be ashamed of himself,” he said, passing a glass to Vuyo then
Thando who had finally sat down. “What can I get you to drink? Juice or
water?” he offered.
“I’m fine, thank you.”
“It’s just sad that we are meeting under these circumstances. But
welcome to the family,” Vuyo said, raising her glass to me. I didn’t know
how to respond to that, so I just smiled.
“So Ndoni. Spill,” Ryan said, relaxing on the couch. “How did you
meet our Sanda? Where and when did this magic happen?” he asked that
waving a hand over my tummy. I saw Vuyo’s eyes light up with curiosity.
“Well, as you now know that I’m almost twenty weeks so that’s how
long I’ve known him. We met five months ago in PE, at a club, and one
thing led to another. We ended up spending a few days together,” I glossed
over the details.
“Five months! Huh! Remember Vee. It must be round about the time
Sanda disappeared, and we didn’t know where he was. When he came back,
he seemed preoccupied and more secretive than usual,” Ryan said,
positively excited about putting the pieces together.
“I do.” Vuyo’s eyes perked up at that. “So that’s when this all
happened.” The glint in their eyes told me they wanted to hear more. Why
didn’t Lusanda tell his friends? I sighed and shed some light if only to stop
the probing questions.
“Well, at that time I left him without leaving my contacts and he
didn’t know how to find me.”
“Why did you leave like that?” Thando who had been quietly
observing the conversation asked.
“What did he do?” Just as I was about to answer, Vuyo asked.
“He did nothing directly.” A feeling of unease rattled me, as I felt
the need to defend Lusanda’s honour. “His girlfriend showed up while I was
alone in his hotel room. So, I made up a story I thought wouldn’t get him
into trouble and left. When we hooked up, we had both agreed that there
would be no strings attached.”
“Girlfriend?” Ryan’s eyebrows drew together as he pulled his blond
hair backwards, but the locks flopped back onto his forehead.
“Yes.” I let out a sigh. “A white lady. I think her name was Kelly.”
They looked at each other then.
“What did she do?” Ryan was the one who asked after their silent
communication.
“Nothing really. She introduced herself as his girlfriend and I left
afterwards.” He took a deep sigh.
“Kelly is my sister.” It was my turn to be surprised. “And I can
assure you they never dated. They might have hooked up a few times
against our better judgement, I might add. We both warned them against it,
but they never listened. They are adults after all, and there was nothing we
could do,” Ryan said.
“What Ryan is saying is that you are also part of the family as much
as Kelly is and we will not be making judgements or taking sides,” Vuyo
reassured me even though I felt it was not warranted but I acknowledged it
with a smile.
“Don’t let her bully you,” Ryan advised with a twinkle in his blue
eyes.
They wanted more details, and I indulged them because I felt they
needed the distraction more than anything, of course not all details of our
whirlwind relationship. By the time I was done they were halfway through
the second bottle of wine and I was nursing a glass of orange juice.
They shared some of their most intimate and heart-wrenching
journeys which made me realised that we each had our struggles and battles
that we had fought or still fighting. We shed tears when they spoke about
the loss of Uvi, Vuyo and Luxolo’s child, a wound I realised was still raw in
their hearts. I also remembered how emotional Lusanda was when he’d told
me about their loss. Of course, at the time I had no faces to match the
names. Now that I knew or at least had met them, the weight of the grief
became heavier. We cried when we spoke about the miracle triplets, which
also reminded us of our current plight. As
Vuyo spoke about her loss, not just of her baby but of the love of her
life, my heart broke for her. The way she spoke about Luxolo made me
believe there could be a reconciliation on the horizon. I silently wished that
for her because I could sense the deep love, she still had for her husband in
the way her face glowed as she mentioned his name. Or how her eyes
softened, and she had that wistful look on her face. The guilt in her eyes
was evident at the role she felt she played in the downfall of their union.
Thando shared her history with Bongani and Gcobani, which
shocked me because I never heard any personal news about my favourite
architect. Thinking of my hero brought back the embarrassing way I’d
behaved earlier. Seeing him so suddenly had caught me off guard. It had felt
like my mind had conjured him up.
My mind had urged me to remain calm, however, my feet had had a
mind of their own as they moved towards him and I ended up vigorously
shaking his hand. If he had been shocked by my behaviour, he didn’t show
it. He had graciously returned the handshake and blessed me with his
perfect smile, and I all but swooned.
I babbled my childhood infatuation until my eyes had met the dark
ones that stood protectively behind him as if to mark their territory. At that
moment, my skin had warmed with embarrassment as I released his hand.
What must they have all thought of me then!
I felt honoured and touched that they could share such confidences
that eventually when they asked me where I came from, I bared my soul to
them. When I finished telling them my story, no eye was dry in the room
except for me of course. My life struggles seemed to pale compared to what
they’ve had to go through. They didn’t feel sorry for me though and I was
grateful for that; they were just impressed by my strength and resilience.
It was almost 4 am when we released the men from their temporary
prison. They seemed to have calmed down and resigned to the fact that they
had been left behind. I was grateful that they didn’t require me to play host
as they all left with their spouses to different rooms in the house. It seemed
everybody knew where to go. I couldn’t help noticing that Vuyo and Luxolo
left together clinging to each other’s arms and that flutter of hope I had
became a steady hum.
I lay awake for a while thinking of Lusanda, how he was faring and
the mission they went on. Was he safe? What kind of situation was he
walking into? My heart wouldn’t settle then, and I could feel it as my
heartbeat drummed wildly in the silent room. A lot of questions plagued my
mind and kept the sleep at bay until I heard a helicopter. As
 I listened more intently, it kept getting louder and there was no
mistaking that it was hovering above us. I still wore leggings and the
sweatshirt from the previous night, so I ran off to find out if they were back.
It seemed everyone else had the same idea because I found them all
gathered in the lounge. As Luxolo was about to go out, Lungile and Terror
walked in pushing double strollers as well and I assumed it was the infants.
They didn’t even make it halfway through before the frantic parents
surrounded them. My heartbeat accelerated when I realised that Lusanda
wasn’t following them. I had to balance on the wall as I felt my knees
shaking.
“Where is Lusanda?” A lot of eyes met mine, and that’s when they
noticed that he wasn’t back. I saw Luxolo and Vuyo with a baby each in
their arms. They gazed frantically around the room. Didn’t they have
triplets?
“Where is Siya?” Vuyo’s voice shook, and we all turned towards
Lungile and Terror.
“Lusanda will bring her back,” Lungile quickly explained. “They
kept her as part of the ransom.” Vuyo broke into tears and Luxolo was there
with his one arm around her, even though I could see the fear in his eyes.
“He’ll bring her back,” Terror assured no one in particular. The
families broke into small groups, fussing over their little ones. I felt like an
intruder and quietly walked away, disappearing into the kitchen on shaky
legs. My body felt numb and my mind filled with scenarios that gave me no
comfort. I needed to keep busy, so I prepared the coffee machine thinking
everyone will want some. It was already morning, and no one was getting
back to sleep until Siya and Lusanda were back.
I heard the commotion from the kitchen and knew that more people
had arrived. Thinking Lusanda might be one of them, I went to check only
to find the living room packed by the older couples whom I assumed were
the grandparents. I noticed one familiar face and hoped that she wouldn’t
recognise me. As luck would have it, Ryan came and dragged me to
introduce me to everyone.
“Wait, don’t I know you?” Kelly crunched her forehead and her
perfectly manicured finger pointed at me.
“Kelly behave,” Ryan warned, but she just waved him off.
“Aren’t you Sanda’s friend’s girlfriend?” I stared at her, grappling
for an appropriate answer in my head. “Oh, my gosh! You were there for
him, weren’t you? Why was I so stupid not to see that? And you are
pregnant?” I could see tears well up in her eyes. “Excuse me.” She picked
up her handbag and left, leaving a few moments of awkward silence behind.

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 The devil is in the detail

“Well, I must give it to you, Son, you are exceptionally good, I’m
impressed.” I didn’t want him impressed. It pissed me off to think he

orchestrated all this and now he stood before me singing my praises as if I’d

just performed a recital. Did he have any idea what my friends had gone

through when their kids had disappeared like that? “That is a lot of army

men you took down.” He looked ridiculous, a giant of a man patting the
tiny baby, fast asleep in his arms.
I wanted to grab her and run out of there, but I knew that I had to
keep to my end of the deal. I watched as he gently passed the baby to one
nanny and she disappeared to where she had come from. “Don’t worry,
they’ll take care of her. These ladies are well trained to look after the little
ones,” he reassured me.
“Did you have to involve the innocent children in your scheming?
Do you have any idea what kind of trauma you’ve put them through? Who
am I kidding, you never gave a fuck about caring for kids? I should know.”
He clipped his head and everyone else in the room disappeared except for
Duma who remained like a carved, unmoving wall of flesh.
“Duma please excuse us.” Duma didn’t budge.
“Father, I can’t leave you alone with him.” My father turned and
gave him a chilling look.
“I said leave us!” I saw Duma’s jaw clench, but he turned and left,
closing the door behind him. My father pressed a button somewhere on his
desk, and then the shelves behind him opened into another room. “Follow
me.”
“You see that one might be your puppet.” I pointed to the direction
Duma went. “But let me remind you in case you’ve forgotten. I am not one
of your puppets.”
“Please, Son.” I took a second’s pause, but my curiosity got the
better of me, so I followed him. The door closed behind us. He went around
the immense oak table and pointed for me to take a seat. He poured us each
a glass of whiskey on the rocks and passed one to me. I had never seen the
room we were in before. Being around this place again made me edgy. I felt
like there were thousands of fire ants crawling under my skin and the urge
to leave increased.
“Kidnapping the kids was unnecessary and yet it was effective,” he
shrugged. “I had tasked your brother to get you here. You know what a
hothead he can be.” He waved his hand as if that explained everything. I
sighed suddenly feeling exhausted to the bone.
“Father, why do you want me to marry someone I don’t want to?”
Now that I was really looking at him, I could see that he had aged. Grey
peppered his once black hair. He had a few laugh lines around his eyes, and
he wasn’t as buff as he’d once been. To me, he’d looked larger than life
when I was younger. But now I just saw an old man who looked as tired as I
felt. But he carried his weariness with his eyes, where once there was a
spark, his eyes were dimmer.
“It’s out of my hands, Son.” I wanted to bust my eardrum every time
he called me son. I didn’t feel like his son and had never felt like one
before. “Why do you think I let you be all these years? I wanted you to live
your life the way you wanted. But this is bigger than us. Bigger than your
happiness.” He ran his hand over his face.
“Then how does marrying Melokuhle help the situation?”
“Unfortunately, there are greater powers at hand. Marrying into that
family is beneficial for the whole continent. The council knows this, and so
do you.”
“You want me to do to Melokuhle what you’ve done to my mother.”
“What do you mean by that?” he frowned.
“Marrying her against her will!” I snapped. He didn’t need to act
oblivious to me. He burst out laughing and the anger I’d been simmering in
threatened to spill over.
 “Is that what you thought all along?” I stared at him. The laughter
died in his eyes. “Son, that could not be further from the truth.” It was my
turn to frown.
“Then, where is she?” He moved forward and pressed under the table and a
TV monitor came down on the wall. My mother appeared on the screen,
sitting on the floor of the nursery room playing with Siya. Even though I
had a view of her from the side, I knew it was her. I stood and walked
towards the monitor.
My hand slightly shook when I reached out as if I could touch her,
feel her skin. Was it as soft as I remember? “I don’t understand.” I returned
my gaze towards him. My mother didn’t seem like a prisoner in the palace
like they had led me to believe, but I wouldn’t know for sure until I spoke
to her.
“You’ll have time to speak to her later, Son.” He stood and came
around to stand near me. “I love your mother. I always loved her. Hence, I
looked for her everywhere. She was stubborn and hurt that I wanted her to
be the second wife, but I had no choice. I wasn’t willing to let the love of
my life go.” I pressed my fingers tightly against my eyes. My mind a
clusterfuck of questions and confusion.
“You kidnapped us! Then kept her away from me!” I looked at him
incredulously.
“You were young back then. A lot of what happened then might
have been confusing to a child.”
“I wasn’t confused about my mother’s absence in my life because of
you and now you stand here and tell me you loved her!” I paced the floor
because my hand itched to throttle his neck right then.
“I had to keep her away Son for her safety.”
“Safe from what? You were the only threat in our lives!”
“Maybe when you speak to your mother, she will help clear up some
things for you. I understand I haven’t been the best father to you and
probably have no right asking you this, but I am asking you, anyway.” He
returned to his chair.
“Where is your first wife?” Nothing made sense, and I thrived on
solving the unsolvable.
“Around. Even though we are still married, we live separate lives.
She has her own quarters that she asked for.
 Son, I know I'm asking you for a lot, but there is so much at stake.
We must make personal sacrifices like I did when I married a woman I
didn’t love instead of my one true love. Is there anyone else you want to
marry?” I paused at that. Marriage used to make me sweat but the thought
of it didn’t sound as bad, especially when a certain dark beauty flashed in
my head. “How about this girl you were with recently?” he pressed.
“We haven’t discussed marriage and I think she deserves better than
me, anyway.” I wasn’t about to discuss my feelings for her with him. My
eyes kept straying towards the monitor.
“She sounds special,” my father spoke after a pause.
“She is.”
“You can co-parent, right?”
“Yes. That’s what we’ve been planning to do.”
“My first grandchild,” he beamed as we watched the monitor.
“Father, is there no other way?”
“Unfortunately, there isn’t. Besides, I don’t trust your brother. If I
were to die now and he automatically takes over this continent is screwed. I
need you to consider this not just for me, but for the entire continent. Do
you really see a world with your sadistic brother at the helm? In control of
so many resources.
The entire continent would surely crash as he leads You to your
doom. Go and rest, Son. Your wedding will be later this morning.” My
insides twisted in an icy knot at the mention of the wedding. “Be ready. You
know where your room is.” He turned and left with the door automatically
opening from the inside.
It was already morning. I took one last look at the monitor and then
decided that I needed to freshen up before reuniting with my mother. My
entire body was wound tight and my nerves pulled like an elastic band
ready to snap at any moment. I walked out of the office building towards
the main house, the frosty morning air biting against my face. Even in the
height of spring, early mornings could get cold as we weren’t far from the
river.
They built this place like a small replica of a city. My father had an
office building, which had four floors, housing all royal staff members.
Then there were different houses scattered around for most staff and
security. The main house occupied half of the compound grounds, and it
wasn’t far from the office building. Most people used golf carts to get
around the entire place. I walked across the green lawn instead of heading
towards the paved path that would take longer. The lawn gave way to the
pavement, and I climbed the wide stairs that led to the huge double front
door. Two security guards were standing on either side and they parted the
doors open as I approached. I greeted with a clipped nod as I entered. I
came to a halt and tensed at the sounding echo of the doors closing behind
me.
The wide entrance seemed to have been renovated over the years. I
walked towards the wide stairs in the centre of the hallway flanked by dark
iron rails, listening to the soft sound of my footsteps. I climbed up until I
reached where the stairway split to two different directions.
One led to where my parents’ and sisters’ bedrooms were, the other
stairway led to my room, brother’s, and a few guest rooms. A huge
chandelier hung from the ceiling between the split stairs. I took a deep
breath and made my way towards my room.
I felt as if the walls were closing in, suffocating me, and the need to
escape intensified. I never thought I would walk up these stairs again. The
paintings on the walls remained − portraits of the previous kings and all the
Ngcobo lineage − brought to life by some well-known African artists. They
always seemed to watch with disapproval. My footsteps shuffled as I
stealthily climbed up. My eyes caught paintings that gave me pause as they
hadn’t been there before.
It was portraits of myself and Duma. Hung side by side. What made
me take a pause though was the fact that my portrait was of the older
version of myself. Which means it had been recently commissioned. The
next one though gave me a needed reminder of why I never belonged in this
place. It was one with the entire family: Father, his wife, Duma, Sindisiwe
and Liyana. My mother nowhere in sight.
My body shuddered a little as I entered my bedroom, a place I’d
sworn to never return to. A solid oak bed in the centre, flanked by matching
pedestal. The study desk with my computer that used to be on the side
leading to the balcony was now replaced by two wingback chairs. Nothing
much had changed, only the finishing touches to make it more modern. I
went to take a shower to alleviate the aches in my body. My body was still
wired as I walked back into the bedroom towelling off.
My thoughts kept drifting back to my mother. Even though a part of
me was excited to see her, another part of me was conflicted. If she had
been living free all this time, why hadn’t she reached out to me? It wasn’t
like I had been living under a rock. She could’ve contacted me if she
wanted.
As I made my way to the kitchen, I stood at the bottom of the stairs and
took a fortifying breath. I am Lusanda Ngcobo and I could deal with
whatever awaited me on the other side. I followed the sound of voices
which led me to the backyard patio. I stepped out and came to a halt at the
scene before me. The backyard that used to be just a pool area and a vast
space of green lawn had transformed into a beautiful garden filled with all
sort of flowers.
A tranquil space designed for relaxation, except at that moment it
looked nothing but relaxed with all the staff moving about setting up for the
wedding reception. The makeshift stand was already erected and the white
chairs on either side of the red carpet that led to the podium. Flowers were
the only decor used, which were tied on the chair corners.
My heart was heavy at the sight, the reality of what was to happen setting
in. My gaze was brought back by a gasping sound from my left. I slowly
turned and right there, standing by a table which could probably seat about
twelve people, and was already set for breakfast, was my mother. My heart
rate picked up, and I felt sweat trickling down my back. My knees refused
to move.
The staff that was busy setting the table faded into the background
as my eyes took her in. She looked as beautiful as I remembered her. Her
head covered in a doek that matched her bohemian blue floral dress. Her
light skin was flawless with only a few laugh lines around her eyes. She
didn’t seem to have gained any weight over the years. The moisture running
down her cheeks had me blinking my eyes and meeting hers.
“My baby.” Her voice cracked as tears continued to fall. She took a
tentative step towards me but then stopped. My mind screamed for me to
move, but my body refused. I felt my eyes sting with tears, and I refused to
let them fall. She was here before me, unrestrained, unharmed, and healthy.
I made to turn. “No! Lusanda, please stay.” Her broken cry pierced the wall
I was trying hard to erect around my heart.
 She slowly moved towards me until she stood just a foot before me.
Her floral, fruity scent that had been seared in my memory invaded my
nostrils. I steeled myself against the emotions that threatened to overwhelm
me. The child in me wanted to reach out and fling himself in her arms and
never let go.
“Mother.” The word ripped out of me. Her lips wobbled and then
her arms were around me as she enveloped me in a tight embrace. Time
stood still. It took my mind back to my childhood when her melodic voice
used to read me to sleep while I’d be curled up on her chest. A lump
clogged my throat, and I struggled to breathe. I found my hands moving
tentatively, returning the embrace. Her hold tightened and we stood in that
position for a while, as she sniffed against my chest. I was torn between
elation and anger. When she finally pulled back, her tear-streaked face
looking up at me, my heart refused to care that she’d abandoned me as it
bloomed with happiness at seeing her. When her palms cupped my face, I
realised mine was also wet with tears. She gently wiped them with her
thumbs.
“Come, take a seat and join me for breakfast,” she motioned towards
the table. I nodded, then followed her. Once seated, a few staff members
appeared already to serve. I didn’t recognise any of them. I didn’t really get
close to the staff when I was young, in fact, I avoided them because they’d
been loyal to the queen and shared her disdain of me.
“I’ve been looking for you thinking you needed rescuing and here
you are living like a queen. What is going on?” I asked the moment the
serving staff moved out of earshot. I was grateful that my voice didn’t come
out as shaken as I felt.
“I needed you to go live your life without trying to please me. You
would have stayed here and done what your father asked you to do at such a
young age. I couldn't have that. I strongly felt that as years went by, your
father would find a way out of this. Believe me, he has tried and failed.”
“At what cost Mama! You were the only person I had, and you left
me with strangers. People who hated me for existing. Do you know how
that felt? Thinking you were locked up in some prison against your will!”
God, I need to get out of here. My mind was screaming.
“Sacrifices had to be made. Once you were old enough to be on
your own, I knew your father had to let you go,” she said looking away but
not before I saw the pain reflected in her eyes. “Well, when we found out
about the plot to kill the minister, I knew then that something had to be
done.” I frowned. She’d known then about that.
“Didn’t Father know what was going on?” She shook her head wildly,
almost tipping over her intricately wrapped doek.
“It was only later that he found out. That was your brother’s doing.
He wanted his position in the throne and to do that, he had to discredit you.
What better way to do that than bloodied hands?” I let out a sigh and took a
sip of my lukewarm coffee.
“Why are you asking me to marry even though I don’t want to?” I
internally cringed because I was sounding like a broken record. I thought if
my mother knew maybe she would help me get out of this situation.
“It’s out of our hands, My Son.” She sounded like my father and I
fought the urge to throw the cup in my hand. It seemed I was just as much
of a pawn as Duma was in this family. None of what we wanted mattered. It
was all about the good of The Kingdom and I questioned the sense of duty I
still felt towards it. Was it from some sort of mental conditioning or was it
genuine? I tried to think of myself as free with no outside influence.
“Don’t you think I have fought for you?” She threw her hands in the
air. “Frankly, if you decide not to do it, I won't blame you. The kingdom can
crumble for all I care.” It seemed like I had to be more creative to avoid the
trap I was being forced into. She asked for another pot of tea and I asked for
coffee. “Enough about all this. Tell me more about you, my baby, how have
you been?”
“Before we get into that, if you were in on this from the beginning
then how did Uncle Mxo end up getting hurt? They left him for dead
Mama. Your brother!” I saw tears welling in her eyes.
“Your uncle wouldn’t let us go without a fight. It’s what he did, he
protected us, and he believed what I told him about your father, which at the
time I’d meant every word.” She shook the wistful look on her face and
pursed her lips. “The man that your father sent only had one goal in mind,
to return with both of us. That was their doing.”
“It seems father doesn’t really know the people he works with that
well,” I spat my annoyance getting the better of me. “I mean he sent a
sadistic Duma after me. The guy is not right in the head, Mama. Were you
aware that they planned to kidnap babies? What if one of them had gotten
hurt? He shot at me and my friend nearly died!” My voice rose.
 “They didn’t let me in on their plans. I’ve learned long ago not to
question your father’s dealings,” she sighed.
“So, you turn a blind eye?” She shook her head in frustration.
“He is still his son and there is no dustbin for kids. He tries to
reprimand him, but as a parent, you can only do so much. Your father also
feels responsible about what happened with you in those army camps.” My
heart went cold at the mention of the army camps. My father knew and
continued to send me there. I felt cold sweat break into my skin as
memories of those camps filtered through my consciousness. “Besides,
Duma still has the file on you, and he keeps threatening your father with it.
Not in so many ways, of course. He likes to be subtle about it,” my mother
continued, oblivious to my internal distress.
“Excuse me!” I stood abruptly, my chair scraping the floor. My
mother looked at me with concern etched on her face. I didn’t have time to
explain as I strode back into the house, heading for my father’s office. I
pushed the door opened without knocking. His eyes jerked up in surprise.
“You knew what they did to us at the army camps?” I gritted, barely
holding on to my anger. I wanted to unleash on him so badly it took
everything in me to stay put.
“Yes,” he said tiredly running a hand over his face “Duma once let it
slip and then I had the general in charge of your training investigated. It
seemed like he took liberties with his position.” I shook my head in
disbelief.
“You are unbelievable! You allowed people to take your children to
situations where you had no assurance of their safety.”
“He was my friend, and I trusted him to look after you both.” He
pinched the bridge of his nose. “Son, I’d done the camp training myself at
your age and never had reasons to believe that he’d take you to rebel
camps.” I felt like I was sinking into a hole with no air and I was
suffocating.
“I have to go.” I needed space from him, and I was done talking.
“Son,” he called out to me as I turned to leave. I stood with my back
on him. “The wedding is in an hour.” I left his office without a word and
headed for my room.

OceanofPDF.com
 Gunshot wedding
stood in front of a mirror dressed in a black suit I’d found hanging on the
I closet door earlier. It came with a white buttoned-up shirt and a tie. I left
out the tie; I didn’t need the damn thing strangling me further. This was
the moment I needed to pull off my best performance. I took a deep breath
and headed towards the backyard garden where the wedding ceremony
would be performed.
As I stepped out of the sliding door leading outside, I noticed that
the one family table that had been there earlier for breakfast had been
swapped for a longer table that would probably accommodate the wedding
guests. The table setting was more formal and fit for a royal luncheon.
It surprised me to see all the chairs filled with wedding guests. I also
wondered how the few dignitaries present were notified and able to attend
at such short notice. But then again, kidnapping the kids had guaranteed
that I would show. What surprised me the most was to see Melo already
waiting next to her father and the pastor who perform the wedding
ceremony.
She wore a creamy white mermaid dress with a long tail and the lace
veil covered her head and draped down her back, with a bouquet of pink
flowers in her hands. Wasn’t it normal for a bride to walk towards the
groom? But then again, nothing was normal about the situation. My mother
and father sat on the front row, and the queen was also in attendance. I
almost laughed at seeing both women flanking my father. I guessed my
mother made her peace as the second wife. My sisters were not there, which
wasn’t surprising since they both lived in Europe.
Duma sat on the last row, in grey slacks and a white buttoned-up
long sleeve shirt rolled up to the elbows. He slouched on the chair, his legs
spread before him, looking like he wanted to be anywhere but there. I
steeled myself and made my way to the podium acknowledging none of the
guests.
 When I reached the podium, Melo’s father handed her over to me
while she handed the bouquet to someone. Her hands were sweaty as they
nestled against mine.
“You are late,” she whispered.
“Sorry.” I looked at the minister, indicating for him to begin. As the
minister began, my mind retreated to memories of Ndoni and me when we
sat on the beach in PE, our bare feet buried in the sand. The freest I’d felt in
a long time. How would it feel if it were her standing before me, promising
her life to me? Unexpected joy swept through me at the idea of her pledging
her life to me. The squeeze on my hand brought me to the present to find
two pairs of eyes looking at me expectantly. I said the only thing I could
think was expected of me.
“I do.” The weight of those two words sat like lead in my gut as we
were pronounced man and wife. As instructed, I pulled the veil off Melo’s
face and planted a soft kiss on her lips. Her eyes glistened as I pulled back.
I pasted a smile on my face, steeling myself against that hopeful look in her
eyes. This was nothing but a necessity, and I didn’t want her to forget that. I
took her hand in mine as we both turned around to face our cheerful guests.
We walked off to multiple congratulatory handshakes.
“You are awfully quiet. Is everything okay?” Melo whispered in my
ear as everyone sat on the long table prepared for reception lunch. I couldn’t
eat any of the food laid before me, I’d probably throw up if I tried. So, I
nursed a glass of champagne that had been poured to toast our marriage.
“Why shouldn’t I be? I married the most beautiful girl.”
“Sarcasm doesn’t suit you.” She plastered a smile on her face.
“I’m sorry, Melo. This is just, you know what never mind. It’s our
wedding day, right? Let’s try to enjoy it.” She gave me a sweet smile. Then
nodded. The nanny brought Siya to my mother. I hadn’t seen her since the
previous night. The moment she saw me she came for me, and that at least
brought me out of the hole I’d been suffocating in. I kept her on my lap as I
watched my father stand to address his guests.
“Today I’ve done what no parent should ever do to their children. I
have asked my son to sacrifice his freedom and possibly his happiness for
the greater good. He agreed. He selflessly agreed.” He turned to look at me
with a glint in his eyes. “This shows what a great man he is. I stand here
today a humble man, my son, because of you.
 I’m not taking anything away from you, my dear daughter-in-law.
This has been as much of a sacrifice for you as it was for my son.” At that
moment, my eyes clashed with Melo’s father, who sat across from us with a
satisfied smirk on his face. A look that had the hairs at the back of my neck
standing. As my eyes narrowed, he casually looked away, but not before
seeing the cold glint in his eyes. “May you both work and put an effort
towards this union. Your happiness depends on both of you and I believe
you can make it work. Many marriages have been arranged and they
worked and lasted throughout the times.
Respect one another and treat each other right. All else will follow.
To my son. The future king!” Everyone joined in and raised their glasses.
My arm automatically went up as I swallowed the bile that had risen to my
throat. My eyes locked with Duma who sat glaring at me from the other end
of the table, I returned his glare.
It was afternoon when the wedding guest dispersed. I took that as an
opportunity to escape under the guise of wanting to be alone with my new
bride. We walked back into the house and up to my bedroom together, hand
to hand, a picture of perfection. Once inside my bedroom, I let go of her
hand and went for a shower alone. After the shower, I found Melo sitting on
the bed still in her wedding dress with her hands locked on her lap.
My conscience niggled at me. Maybe I needed to say or do
something to make her feel better. This was probably just as hard for her,
but I couldn’t muster the energy to soothe her worries. I needed to burn off
the energy that had been simmering through me since I’d arrived at this
place. I went through my closet and wore sweatpants, a t-shirt, and
sneakers.
“I’ll be back.” I went out in search of my brother. I knocked at his
door and waited. As soon as he opened, I punched him in the face so hard
he staggered backwards.
“What the fuck Lusanda!” I gave him a few punches in succession
until I had him pinned against the wall; my hands wrapped around his
throat. I squeezed. His knee against my groin, had me losing my hold on
him then he was pissed. We gave a punch for a punch. I welcomed the pain
he inflicted against my gut, ribs, and face. I could feel the coppery taste of
blood on my tongue and knew that he’d just split my lip. His one eye was
almost closed as blood dripped from a cut just above the eye.
 “Well. Well. If it isn’t the bastard-son-turned-king. Are you here to
throw a little tantrum?” he sneered as we circled each other, getting a much-
needed break. I launched at him and he blocked getting a punch of his own,
then swiped my legs with his, throwing me flat on my back. He had me
pinned to the ground with his elbow locked against my neck. “I should kill
you right now,” he growled, pressing his point home with his elbow.
I felt my vision blur a little and knew that I had a few seconds
before I passed out or died depending on how he wanted to play this. I
quickly used my hand to jab at his eyes that momentarily gave me a
reprieve and I kneed him in his groin. He flew off me and laid on his side,
groaning in pain while I gasped for air. Then I rolled on top of him and had
him pinned to the floor, my hand squeezing the breath out of him.
“You’ll never touch my family again!” His lips were turning blue,
and I squeezed harder. Once he passed out, I got off him and limped out of
the room with my hand holding my screaming ribs.
I went back to my room and found Melo under the covers. She sat
up when she saw me coming in revealing some lacy lingerie. Then her eyes
went wide at the sight of my bloodied body.
“Are you okay?” She threw the covers off, revealing more skin I
didn’t need to see. I halted her with a wave of my hand.
“I’m fine. I just needed to teach my big brother a lesson on human
decency,” I groused heading for the bathroom. I stood in the steamy shower
stall with my eyes closed, my head tipped down as warm water sluiced over
my sore muscles. I had a waiting bride on the other side of the door. A bride
I had no intention of consummating the union with. The frustration that I’d
just got a temporary reprieve from returned in full force.
I walked out of the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around my
waist. At least she lay facing the other side under the cover. I wore boxer
briefs and slid under the covers. I lay stiffly on my back, feeling
uncomfortable. Except for that kiss, we shared the other day, Melo and I
had never been intimate.
Now, she was there as my wife wearing next to nothing and I didn’t
know what to do. As I was still busy with my thoughts, she turned around
and before I could even move, she was sitting on top of me, with her legs
on either side of me. Just as I was about to protest, she bent down and
smashed her lips on mine. I grabbed her shoulders and pushed her off me as
gently as I could.
 “Can we just sleep tonight, please?” I asked, holding her at bay.
Hurt flashed across her eyes but she nodded, getting off me.
“Is this going to be a problem for us, Lusanda?” she asked after a
few seconds of silence. Of course, she expected us to consummate our
marriage, but I wasn’t prepared for that.
“No. I just need sometime tonight. I haven’t even wrapped my head
around this Melo.” I was stalling, and she knew it. She didn’t say it, but I
could see it in the narrowing of her eyes as she held my stare.
“And I have?”
“No, I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Lusanda, I’m trying to make the best of a difficult situation. The
least you could do is meet me halfway.”
“I know. You are right. I’m sorry.” She yanked the covers and turned
to face the other way. I listened to her breathing until it evened out,
indicating that she’d fallen asleep and that’s when I was able to exhale. I
stayed up for a while, sleep escaping me. Images of Ndoni came into my
mind unbidden. Her laughter that made her eyes sparkle haunted me. The
look she got on her face when I teased her, which was becoming one of my
favourite things to do.
Her thick brows would be drawn together, and she’d purse her lips.
Lips that always called for mine, pouty, dark, and soft to the touch. The way
her eyes softened when she looked at me like I’d hung the moon. I don’t
think she realised how that look spoke to my soul. Her attitude at times,
feisty and bold, tinged with the hint of vulnerability. My Pearl. She was
mine, and I just had to make her realise that then claim her. The slight
movement from my bed companion shuttered that thought.
I woke up early in the next morning and Melo was still fast asleep. I
quickly dressed and went for a jog. I jogged for about ten kilometres, the
need to release the tension that had grabbed hold of me and to clear my
head palpable. When I came back to the bedroom, it was empty with no
sign of Melo. I took a shower and went in search of my parents. I found
them downstairs having breakfast. I was grateful then that my lip had split
from the inside and any bruises I had from the fight were hidden.
“It’s good to have you here. I never thought this day would come.”
It grated on my nerves he continued to act like we were suddenly one big
family. I was here to do a duty that I shouldn’t even feel bound to, but
something deep down propelled me to. I picked up the pot of coffee and
filled my cup.
“I can’t get over how grown up and handsome you’ve become,” my
mother said as she smiled fondly at me. I made non-committal sounds,
taking a sip of the coffee which immediately stung in my mouth.
“How was your first night as a married man?” That was probably
my father’s way of asking if we had consummated the marriage. The sooner
we produced an heir, the better according to him.
“I will not discuss that with you, Father.”
“That good, huh.” They both chuckled.
“This conversation is not happening.” I returned to my breakfast.
We ate in stilted silence, and when I couldn’t take it anymore, I pushed the
half-eaten plate away. “Father, I have to take Siya home.” He looked up,
wiping his mouth with a napkin.
“Will you be taking Melo with you?”
“No,” I clipped.
“Son. At least give it your all. Try to make it work. How are you
going to do that when you are apart?” I sighed.
“I’m not leaving forever. I just want to settle a few things, get her a
place to stay.”
“What do you mean ‘get her a place to stay’? You have to live
together!”
“Father, of course, we will. I left someone who I care about dearly.
She is staying with me and she is pregnant with my child. I need to break
this to her gently and then make sure she is fine.” The thought of me
breaking things with Ndoni had my heart lurching to my throat. “I can’t just
show up with Melo as my wife and I don’t want Melo to share the space I
shared with Ndoni; hence I will get her own house.”
“I understand, Son. I was just making sure.”
“I’ll need to take some files with. I need to look at your treaties
signed between The Kingdom and the African countries. The agreements
we have with all the other kingdoms. Anything that had been agreed to
prior, I need to know.”
“Very well. You’ll have everything you need at your disposal. Just
understand that some documents you can’t take out of here, so you’ll have
to work on those here for security reasons.”
 “I understand. I’ll get Siya.” I excused myself from the table. I
always had to remember my manners with my mother around.
By the time everything was ready, it was almost lunchtime. My pilot
came to fetch us. Almost two hours later, the princess and I were landing on
top of my building. When I arrived at the penthouse, no one was home
except for Lungelo who was busy in my office. I put my files away and
went to prepare lunch for Siya. I fed her and changed her nappy.
Excitement went through me at the thought of doing this in a few
months’ time for my baby. These were moments I never thought I’d look
forward to and yet here I was, giving Siya butterfly kisses and joining her
tiny giggles. Who knew crawling around the floor with a toddler would be
so fun? I probably looked ridiculous, but I didn’t care.
We eventually fell asleep on the couch until I felt someone trying to
pull Siya. I immediately reached for my gun that had been discretely hidden
under the cushions and jumped up to meet a very annoyed Vuyo. I tucked
the gun away and handed Siya over to her. Luxolo was instantly by her side
as they huddled together, showering Siya with kisses while they headed for
the stairs. Lubabalo and Ryan were right on their heels. Then it was just
Ndoni and I. She stood a few feet away from me, watching me with her
hands clasped in front. My breath caught at the sight of her as I took fill of
her in her short shorts and wide top that was flowy around her bump. She
looked stunning. My heart started beating fast, and I felt a trickle of sweat
flow down my back.
“Hello, My Pearl.”
“Hey, baby.” My chest swelled at the endearment. She took quick
steps as she crossed the floor and came crashing into my open arms, hers
clinging around my neck. Her scent filled my nostrils, and I burrowed my
nose on the side of her neck, indulging my senses. I felt the slight tremor go
through her and I tightened my hold on her.
“Come. I need to tell you something,” I leaned down and whispered
against her temple. She shook her head, still clinging to me.
“Not tonight. Please.”
“Come to bed with me.”
“Yes.” That one syllable went straight to my cock. I took her hand in
mine and led her to my bedroom. I needed this night with her like I needed
my next breath. Screw everything else.
OceanofPDF.com
 Let me love you one last time

“I missed you so much.” His eyes glowed as they searched mine.

The wall of the bedroom felt much cooler against my overheated skin, his

thumbs drawing circles on my cheeks. My heart thumped as I held onto his

forearms.
“I missed you too,” I whispered. His lips ghosted over mine but still
left me tingling.
“Come.” He held my hand and tugged me towards the bed and sat
down as I remained standing between his legs. He opened the button of my
shorts, which were so short they came just under my butt and dragged the
zipper down while he looked up at me. I felt his hands go under my panties
as he tugged at them and shoved them down. I stepped out, kicking them to
the side. My hands automatically went up as he pulled my top up and threw
it on the floor.
His eyes never left mine as he wrapped his hands around me to
unclip my bra, once loose I shrugged it off to join the pile of clothes. He
began tracing soft patterns with the tip of his figures from my lips, parting
them then he pressed hard and slid his thumb inside my mouth. I sucked on
it and watched as his eyes darkened. My skinned prickled with heat as his
fingers trailed down my throat and against my collarbone.
Everywhere he touched, I felt like he was branding me. He
continued the slow torturous journey towards my sensitive globes. All my
nerves jumped as if I’d been hot-wired when he pulled my puckered nipple
between his fingers. I felt the pull between my thighs as I clenched hard.
“You are beautiful baby.” His breath fanned my tummy while he
cupped it with both hands. My heart turned over as I watched him place his
head on my tummy, his hand sliding around my waist. He planted kisses on
my tummy for a while then he rested his face on it. I held his head to me.
The wetness on my tummy made me pull back, but I couldn’t as his hold on
me tightened.
“Baby, I am here. I’ve got you. Take what you need.” I brushed his
head. He exhaled and pulled me closer and made me straddle him, my
thighs quivering. My need for him felt like a fever burning through me and
setting me on fire from the inside out.
“Your skin is pure perfection.” He looked up at me, sliding his hand
up and then around my neck. Standing while he was seated gave me a slight
advantage as I hovered above him. “I could spend the rest of my life
worshipping it, how soft and hot it feels under my hand.” His fingers
slipped between my thighs and parted my wet folds.
“Lusanda!” I cried out. With his other hand at the back of my neck,
he brought my lips down until they were inches apart with his. His breath
mingled with mine. When his lips eventually touched mine fire inside of me
raged like wildfire. My knees gave in. I dropped my ass on his thighs
moving closer to his groin seeking relief from the need between my thighs.
“Fuck baby!” he growled when I began moving my hips against his
bulge. His lips left mine, and he bent down and took my one nipple to his
mouth and sucked while swirling his tongue around. My pussy clenched
hard and I let out a strangled moan. I could feel moisture pooling out of me
and drenching his jeans. Need clawed at me, fuelling my veins making, me
sensitive to every touch, kiss or even his breath against my skin.
“Baby. I need you so bad,” I said, my voice hoarse and my breathing
coming in sharp pants. He pulled back from my nipple. And looked at me,
his pupils blown and glazed over with lust.
“Not as much as I need you, My Pearl.” His raspy voice sent
tingling sensations down my spine. He slid his hand over my bump into my
wet core and inserted two fingers in me while his thumb circled my
engorged clit. My entire body became tight, and I exploded in his arm,
sliding my eyes shut. I let my head drop on his shoulder, my body still
trembling from the aftershocks of my orgasm.
“What a glorious sight.” His voice was thick with arousal.
Aftershocks went through me as he pulled his fingers out of my channel. I
felt his hardened member still pressed against me and my need reignited.
When I rocked my hips against him, he let out a groan and flipped us over
with ease and I found my back plastered on the bed under him. He balanced
his elbows on either side of my face, careful not to squash me.
“Do you know how beautiful you are?” I shook my head on
impulse. “You’re so fucken beautiful, it hurts.” I felt my chest expanding. “I
can’t get over it. And you know what the best part is?” I shook my head
again. “It’s from the inside, then it flourishes on the outside.” I felt self-
conscious suddenly, my eyes dropping from his. “Don’t do that, My Pearl.
Don’t shrink away. You need to know that your beauty is flawless. It’s rare.
It’s a treasure worth having. Not just the outside beauty. Even
though I can go on forever with that. But here.” He put his hand over my
galloping heart. “The way you are. How you love. The way you care for
others more than you do yourself. The way you are with me. That comes
from within.” I felt tears sting the backs of my eyes. He dipped his head and
captured my lips in a deep passionate kiss which had my toes curling. He
kissed me down to my neck and latched onto my favourite and sensitive
spot that left me squirming. He explored my body with fervent touches and
worshipped me with his tongue. Each touch chipped away at the wall I had
built around my heart since I was a child. Each heated look took down one
brick at a time until he left a gaping hole, my heart laying bare before him.
“Fuck!” he exclaimed at the juncture of my thighs. I felt the flat of
his tongue licking me over with one sweeping move. Then he ate me out
like a man who had been starved for life. His tongue was probing inside of
me while my head thrashed from side to side. My orgasm galloped across
the near horizon like a stallion. I could feel its hooves pounding in my head,
echoing through my body.
“Baby…I’m gonna…come,” I panted then my toes curled, my back
arched from the bed as I reached my pinnacle. He continued to lap me until
I couldn’t take it anymore. I moved my shaking hand to his head. He
stopped and looked up. He had the sexiest smile on his face as he licked his
lips like a Cheshire cat.
He stood up while I lay on the bed boneless from the numbing
orgasm. He did quick work of removing his clothes, my eyes were glued to
his long and thick veined length straining against his abdomen with a string
of pre-cum seeping from his slit. He watched me, his eyes narrowing as I
sat up, slid off the bed, then went on my knees before him. The soft rug by
the bed cushioned my knees.
 “Baby?” He gripped the base of his long length, his legs slightly
widening. I was about to put into practice what Ryan and Vuyo taught me
over the cucumber in one of our conversations and hoped not to make a
mess of it. I replaced his hand with mine as I took hold of his steely yet soft
length. I used the leaking juices as a lubricant as I fisted him with my hand.
He let out a strangled moan, his hands holding my head. I tentatively licked
his head, and a shiver went through me as another loud groan slipped out of
him. The sounds he made encouraged me to take things further. I wrapped
my lips around his head and sucked while jerking off the base. I knew I
wouldn’t be able to take all of him, but I was determined to make him feel
good. Judging by the grip he had on my head and the groans that came out
of his lips, he was feeling good. A trickle of liquid covered my inner thighs
as my body vibrated with need.
“Fuck, baby, I’m gonna come.” His breath came in sharp, hard pants
as he thrust. I gagged a little and he tried to pull away, but I held him by his
ass, allowing my jaw to go slack. His grip on my head became painful as he
let out a guttural moan. I felt ropes of liquid hit the back of my throat as his
hips jerked uncontrollably.
“Fuck! Who the fuck taught you how to do a blow job?” He panted
above, me losing his grip on my head.
“Ryan and Vuyo.” He let out a ragged laugh. He then pulled me up,
crashing his lips on mine. His tongue searched and duelled with mine. I felt
him swelling between us. He swallowed my moans as he pushed me down
onto the bed. As soon as my back was on the bed he was sliding into my
wet channel. The feel of him sliding in and out of me made me want to
crawl under his skin, dissolve under his bones. Be a part of him like he was
already part of me, interwoven so deep into the fabric of my heart, I’m not
sure I could ever completely let him go.
“Lusanda!” I shouted his name as we both reached the very heights
of our passion, our bodies locked together, covered in a sheen of sweat.
I woke up to the ray of sunshine coming through the tall windows
and I knew it was way past my normal waking time. I went to take a shower
and changed into a simple short floral dress.
“You’re up? I was hoping to surprise you with breakfast in bed.”
Lusanda walked in with a loaded tray, while I was busy styling my hair and
failing. I hated the bloody weave and made a mental note to find someone
who could plait braids. So, I decided on a simple bun.
 “I’m still surprised, baby,” I said. He placed the tray on the pedestal
and stood behind me.
“I love it when you call me that.” I smiled, looking at him in the
mirror. He planted a kiss at the back of my neck. “Come, let’s go eat on the
balcony.” The cool breeze immediately hit me as I stepped out onto to the
balcony. He led me towards the sitting area with outdoor couches and a
small table.
I sat facing the glorious view the penthouse offered. I had a bird’s-
eye view of the streets below, with fast-moving traffic and people going
about their business. My gaze travelled further towards the affluent suburb.
The multi-coloured rooftops dotted in-between the high trees created a
colourful visual. The houses had bigger yards, some with tennis courts and
gleaming swimming pools.
The wealth the suburb displayed was such a contrast of the other
side of the building. When I looked down just below us, I could see the pool
area, and it looked just as magnificent from the top. There was just
something about the building that made me love it. The rugged look,
looking almost worn out from the outside and yet so elegant and beautiful
on the inside. It just resonated with me.
“Where is your mind at?” he asked over the rim of his cup.
“Just thinking,” I shrugged.
“Uh oh, I hope it didn’t hurt.” His eyes danced with laughter. I
glared at him and he burst out laughing while my tummy did a flip flop.
Every time he laughed, it wrapped around me, made remember there was
good in the world, even though I had seen little of it.
“We have to talk, My Pearl,” he said after a while and the food I just
ate felt like lead in my stomach.
I shook my head wildly. “I know, but I don’t want to. I can’t. Once
you say it, then it will be real.” He leaned forward and took my hands in
his. My heart began thumping.
“Then what do we do? I also don’t want to have the conversation,
but we have to.” There was sadness in his eyes, which seemed to have
dimmed the light I always saw in there.
“Ignorance is bliss,” I whispered.
“Baby...” I wrenched my hands from him, stomping back inside the
bedroom. I couldn’t do this. I didn’t want to hear that he married Melokuhle
or that he was leaving me for someone like her. Even though I suspected as
much. I wanted to pretend that he was mine a little longer. Mine? Since
when was he ever yours, though? The ugly reminder knifed through me,
and I pulled in a deep breath to steel myself against the sharp pain.
“Once you say it Lusanda, it can’t be undone.” I felt his hands
wrapping around me from behind. He trailed kisses at the back of my neck
and when I leaned backwards, he turned my head so he could take my lips
in a scorching kiss. This I could do, I thought as he pushed me so that my
hands were placed against the wall, my butt sticking out, dress on my waist
and him buried deep in me. He pounded me with an urgency that I
welcomed, no finesse as he chased his orgasm. He slid his fingers to the
apex of my thighs and began furiously rubbing at my clit, the stimulation
and his hard thrusts had me screaming his name as I climaxed. I felt his
body tense behind me, and he was growling my name against my ear.
“Baby, I married Melokuhle on Sunday.” Hearing him say it hurt
worse than I imagined, I choked a sob that threatened to escape my throat.
His grip tightened. I felt his spent member slip out of me, leaving me
hollow just like my heart. He pulled my dress down and turned me around
to face him. I couldn’t look at him, so I kept my eyes trained on his chest.
“I’m so sorry, love. I couldn’t avoid it.” He cupped my face, tilting my head
to face him. His eyes had darkened in anguish as they searched mine.
“What's at stake is bigger than us. I can’t go into it now. But I need you to
know that had there been any other option, I wouldn’t have done it.” I
nodded, the lump in my throat thickening. “Ndoni!”
“I trust you and I know that you couldn’t avoid it.” His thumb wiped
at my cheek and to my horror, I felt the wetness that clung to them. I hated
being like that before him. He’d breached the wall I’d erected to keep my
feelings secure. He’d not just made a hole in it, he’d ripped the barrier
down as if it had never been there, to leave me exposed and vulnerable. As
hard as I tried to stop the flow of tears, my heart tore open and laid itself at
his feet. I was his to trample on and break. My body trembled against him.
His own eyes filling with moisture.
“Fuck baby,” he growled, wrapping me in the cocoon of his arms
where I felt safe. “I’ll fix this, I swear it.” I could only nod against his chest.
He tugged me towards the bed after a while and we sat with our backs
against the headboard, facing each other. His hand rested on my baby bump.
I loved that he touched me every chance he got.
 “I would like for you to stay here. I love this place and it’s safe and
secure. But if you are not comfortable with that, I can buy you a place.” I
bristled and tried to put a distance between us, but he grabbed my hand to
hold me still. “Hear me out, baby.” I sighed and relaxed even though my
mind had answers ready for him. One at the tip of my tongue was to tell
him I would not be a kept woman, which I’d told him before. “It’s still not
safe for you and I doubt you’ll ever be completely safe with the royal
baby.” Reality hammered home; I wasn’t just carrying an ordinary baby.
This baby was royalty. What did that mean for him or her? Was my baby to
become a royal bastard? I baulked at any stigma attached to my baby.
“I don’t mind staying here in the meantime however when the baby
is born, I would prefer something small and manageable.” Something I
would have to afford on my own without having to rely on him. I still
planned to reach my dreams and that became more important than ever
because it wasn’t just me anymore. The little human inside of me deserved
to be protected, even if that meant against their father’s family.
“I can arrange that. It's now October and with your due date in
February, how should we handle that in terms of school?”
“I thought that I should register for the second term. I’d really like
to bond a bit with the baby first before I undertake any studies. I can attend
classes and return home every day.” His shoulders relaxed; a slow, easy
smile spread across his face. Then he dipped his head and gave me a hard-
short kiss.
“Thank you.” He tried to compose himself. “I know I’m not offering
you much. But I’ll do my best to be there for you. I’m booking you at a
driving school from next week. You need to drive. For now, you’ll use my
driver that I hardly use, anyway. Here.” He pulled something out of his
wallet and gave me a black card, but when I checked, it had my name on it.
I knew he was doing all this for the baby, however, it still grated on my tits.
The more he offered, the more I shrivelled on the inside into that insecure
Ndoni. My mother’s voice rang at the back of my head, warning me not to
fall for these grand gestures. A small part of me wanted to put my baby over
my pride.
“What's this for?” I looked at the card as if it was a snake.
“I know you have a problem accepting or even spending my money.
I don’t want you to want for anything ever. Please. It would make me sleep
better knowing that you don’t lack anything especially when I won’t be
around much. With this card, you have unlimited access. You can do
whatever you want, and you don’t have to account to anyone. For the rest of
your life.” I took a deep breath, trying and failing to tamper down my
annoyance.
“Can we not talk about this now! You are not dying for Christ’s
sake!”
“Ndoni, I might not be around most of the time, how are you going
to survive?” Irritation crept into his tone.
“The same way I have been all my life, Lusanda!” I snapped.
“I don’t want to argue baby. Take it to use it or not but just keep it.”
Our gazes locked in a silent battle of wills. I fought an internal war with
myself. Part of me wanted to snatch the card and cut it into pieces, then
throw it back into his face. There was another part I didn’t recognise, the
part that urged at me to swallow my pride. To think of my baby. As much as
I had clear goals for my future, I was still far from realising them. I couldn’t
allow my pride to stand in the way of my baby’s welfare. The thought had
me reaching out and taking the card from him.
“Thank you,” I said, wrapping my arms around my body.
“You deserve so much more.” He rubbed his hands on my upper
arms. “My father wants us to go to your family and pay for damages.” The
thought of going back there had my stomach churning. “I think they will
insist on doing that. Besides, I want to do right by you.” I never thought I
would have anything to do with them ever again, but they were the only
family I had.
I shook my head. “That means I have to go there beforehand. I don’t
think I can do that. My uncle almost raped me, Lusanda!” Just remembering
that had my skin crawling.
“I’ll be with you every step of the way. Every one of my family. My
family is your family, always.” How did he say words my heart yearned
for?
“How will you be there for me when you have a wife?” I couldn’t
hide the hurt in my voice. He gripped my shoulders.
“For you, I’ll make a plan.”
It was late in the afternoon when we made it downstairs to find the
two couples relaxing with the triplets. It was good to see Luxolo cosied up
with Vuyo, and I secretly hoped that it was a beginning of their
reconciliation. We joined them and after a while; the nannies took the kids
to their room. Lusanda pulled me closer with his arm over my shoulder, and
I knew it then that he was about to break his news.
“I married Melokuhle.” His hand pulled me tighter against him as
they all stared at him. Hearing it again wasn’t any easier for me. “Say
something.”
“Ufuna sithini Bra, what do you want us to say?” Luxolo asked.
“Congratulations?” My idiot faked a grin.
“This is not funny, Lusanda,” Lubabalo looked at him pointedly.
“I’m not joking,” he said, his voice becoming serious. I turned to
find Ryan and Vuyo looking at me with bright eyes. I couldn’t handle pity.
“No. No,” I shook my head at them. “You two don’t do that, please.
This was expected, right?” I gave them a smile that probably didn’t achieve
its intent.
“Was there no other way?” Ryan asked.
“Believe me, Ry, if there was, I would be single.”
“What will happen to Ndoni and your baby?” Ryan’s voice rose an
octave.
“Blue, calm down,” Lubabalo took his hand and tugged him against
his chest.
“He is asking a genuine question.” Vuyo shifted forward in her seat.
“What will happen to them? You knock her up and then go marry someone
else.” I was not comfortable with the way they were putting him on the
spot. I didn’t want to discuss this, but they seemed used to be in each
other’s business.
“I will take care of them,” Lusanda gritted his hand caressing my
back. I welcomed the heat, which was a contrast to the cold churning in my
belly.
“They need more than money, Lusanda. Someone to help her raise this
child. Ndoni is young herself, and now this! Hayi maan Lusanda!” Vuyo
was persistent, and Ryan nodded his head in assent. I felt Lusanda’s body
tense.
“You are not helping, My Joy,” Luxolo intervened. “I think Lusanda
is aware of all of this.”
“What do you guys want me to do?” Lusanda got up and walked off
to lean against the dining room table. “Do you think I wanted this?”
“Of course not. They are just in shock. We all are,” Luxolo said.
 “I know,” Lusanda sighed. “I need you guys more than ever.” He
looked around the room before returning to sit next to me.
“Then you have us,” Lubabalo promised as everyone else nodded.
We sat in silence for a while.
“Where is she going to stay?” Ryan broke the silence.
“Here, Lusanda said I could stay here.” I smiled at him. I had the
urge to reassure him. Tell him all would be well, even though my mind
scoffed at that notion.
“Alone? You struggled to fall asleep even when we were around,”
Ryan said as Lusanda turned his frowning eyes at me.
“Ry. It’s not like you’re going to sleep with me at your house.”
“I could,” Ryan deadpanned.
“Hayibo!” Lubabalo’s head whipped towards him. We all burst out laughing
and the tension in the room eased a little.
“I know you guys mean well but I’ll be fine on my own. I’m used to
it. When I need you, I know you’ll be there. You are couples and you also
need your space. I need mine too. I promise I’ll be fine.” I looked around
the room, reassuring them.
“What is going to happen with you, Lusanda?” Luxolo asked what
I’d been dying to ask.
“I’ll be between Joburg and The Kingdom. There are things I need
to investigate. For now, I’ll stay at a hotel when I’m here. I’m not sure yet. I
haven’t thought that far ahead.” I didn’t believe that for a second. The
Lusanda I know thought of any possibilities.
“Can I just put it out there, I don’t like your wife!” Ryan said
pursing his lips. “She must just stay away from Ndoni and make sure she
does Lusanda or she’ll have me to deal with.” I knew there was a reason I
fell in love with him at first sight.
“I told you once it was done, I couldn’t undo it,” I told him once we
were in his bedroom. I’d just came out of the bathroom, with only a towel
around my waist. He was still in his gym gear, having just returned from the
gym somewhere in the building.
“I see what you meant.” I watched him as he pulled out his drenched
t-shirt, throwing it in the washing basket. Parts of me clenched at the sight
of his ripped body covered with a sheen of sweat. He moved towards me
and cupped my face. I could smell the sweat with a faint scent of his
cologne and him.
 “I also don’t want to take advantage of you. And I know I am a
bastard for asking you. Can I have these few days with you?” His intense
eyes searched mine. I should’ve been worried about how my heart danced
at that request. The old me − the one that put herself first − should’ve listed
the many valid reasons that what he was asking was wrong and a terrible
idea. I did none of that. Instead, I wrapped my arms around his naked back
and pulled him closer.
“Yes.” His eyes slowly moved from my eyes to my lips, he lingered
a few seconds then went down to the edge the towel. His hands tugged at it
and pulled it open, his eyes burning a fiery trail in their wake. His lips lifted
in a satisfied smirk. He dropped the towel on the floor, leaving me exposed
to his heated gaze.
“I’ll be right back.” He sprinted to the bathroom and a few seconds later I
heard the shower running. I shook my head, sliding under the covers, the
soft sheets chafing against my overly sensitive skin. I was playing with fire.
I already felt the singe, but damned if I didn’t want the spark to ignite
brighter. I wanted to go up in flames with him. This will not end well, my
mind warned. We just have to take whatever we can, my heart consoled.
I woke up the next morning and I listened to my aching limbs and a
smile crept on my face as I recalled how thoroughly Lusanda had
worshipped my body. The sweet ache between my thighs was another
reminder. I took a huge sigh, feeling the imprint of his fingers dancing over
my body, recalling the heated look in his eyes as he’d watched me fall apart
in his arms.
I reached out across the space next to me and found it cold. The
faint scent of his cologne infiltrated my senses and I furrowed deeper on the
pillow. I needed to get up, so I slid off the bed and padded naked to the
bathroom, I shook my head in amazement when I realised that I didn’t even
try to cover my body like I would’ve done not so long ago. Sex apparently
did wonders for one’s confidence. As I brushed my teeth, I looked at my
reflection in the mirror.
My hair looked messy, standing in all directions, yet my breath
caught at the person looking back at me. I tentatively reached towards the
mirror and ran the pads of my fingers on it. The sexy siren looking back at
me, glowing skin and sparkling eyes couldn’t be me, was it? I returned my
finger to my pouty lips and stared for a while, a feeling of acceptance
settling in my chest.
“This is you, so beautiful,” I whispered as my eyes stung and I
blinked. Have my eyelashes always been this long? I felt stupid scrutinising
myself for so long. But then I realised I always saw myself with the hateful
eyes of those that had been around me. They saw nothing but an ugly dark
skin when they looked at me and I fed off that. Their hatred clouding my
own eyes and infiltrating my heart, and I believed them. No more. I will
give no one that much power over me, I am Ndoniyamanzi and I am
beautiful.
With a renewed sense of self, I took a long shower, appreciating the
new curves of my body and my hands lingering on my baby bump. I made a
promise to my baby that he or she’d know their worth, and I had to start by
knowing mine.
“Morning you two,” I found Ryan and Vuyo sitting on the floor in
the lounge playing with the babies. I wondered if these two planned to
return to their jobs.
“How are you feeling this morning?” Vuyo asked, a concerned look
on her face. A burst of joy warmed me up from within at that look. It felt
great to have someone caring for me the way these two seemed to be.
I joined them on the floor, Siya stretching her hand towards me. I
reached out to her, and her little finger wrapped around mine. I couldn’t
help but think it would be me in a few months. “I’m okay,” I shrugged.
“We are here for you, you know that, right? You don’t have to act all
brave with us. We’ve got you,” Ryan added. Tears stung my eyes, which
happened a lot lately. Pregnancy was really causing havoc with my
hormones.
“I’m not sure how I feel Ry. I feel numb. I’m not even sure I'm
supposed to even be feeling the way I do. To be fair, Lusanda didn’t
promise me any future. Do I even have the right then to be heartbroken?” I
glanced up to find them both watching me, frowns etched on their faces.
“I wonder if you actually believe the bullshit you are spewing right
now.” Ryan let out a dramatic sigh. “Let me enlighten you, honey. You
might not voice it yet, but you are way passed the ‘no strings attached’
bullshit you two seem to be hung up on. That ship has sailed, baby! Now
you need to take this as it is.” His eyes softened and my chest tightened.
 “A heartbreak that you are allowed to feel. You are entitled to it. I’m
not sure how you’ll cope. I fell apart when I couldn’t be with Lu. The
thought of not being able to be with someone you love is heart-wrenching.
Soul crushing.” His blue eyes clouded with tears and my skin tightened as I
shifted uncomfortably. He was just too close to the truth.
“I don’t−”
“Save that for the triplets. They might actually believe you,” he cut
me off quickly, and I snapped my mouth shut.
“Ndoni, Ry is right. You have to deal with this for what it is. Talking
about how you feel helps. When you are ready to talk, we are here for you
day or night.” She had a haunted look in her eyes as they dropped to one
triplet in her arms. Was is Kwavela or Kukhanya? I battled to tell the boys
apart.
“Thank you, both of you. I’ll live. I just need to keep busy, that’s
how I cope.” If this was what friendship felt like, I was keeping it for life.
“What do you have in mind?” Ryan asked.
“Usually, I’d be working or studying, anything to get by. Studies are
not an option until next year and it seems a job isn’t on the cards either now
that I’m carrying Ngcobo’s precious cargo.”
“Hang on a minute. I have an idea. Let me call Gcobani.” He stood
and walked away while dialling on his phone.
“You are glowing differently today,” Vuyo noted, wiggling her
eyebrows. I felt my face heating.
“Stop.” She burst out laughing.
Ryan returned with a smile on his face. “We have a meeting at
Bhengu Inc. young lady.” My heart leapt to my throat. It couldn’t be this
easy, could it?
“He wants to meet with me?” My disbelief was clear in my tone.
“Yep, it’s called connections babe,” he smirked. “Now get ready and
I think we should have lunch afterwards.”
“Oh, I have a doctor’s appointment this afternoon.”
“We can do lunch tomorrow. Let’s get you to Bhengu Inc. and have
that sorted,” Ryan said. I pinched myself a few times as I went to change.
Things didn’t just happen for me, and I willed my heart to slow down until
this was a done deal.

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 Then love struck

“Hey, Mjita.” Lubabalo joined me on the balcony by the pool

downstairs coffee cup in hand. There was a slight chill in the air and the sky

was slightly overcast matching my mood perfectly.

“Sho.” I took a sip from my cup.
“You are up early. Running away from Ndoni already!” he
snickered.
“Nah. Just needed to clear my head. Why are you up early? It takes
a miracle to pull you away from Ryan.”
“Lux and I are supposed to go to a shooting range by 7 am. Is he up
yet?”
“Haven't seen him. Probably busy with Vuyo. What’s up with those
two, anyway?” Just then Luxolo walked out carrying his cup of coffee.
“Gossiping about me aren’t you!”
“Lusanda wants to know and I also want to know. You and Vuyo
seem cosy,” Lubabalo said and Luxolo broke into a wide grin, his eyes
glowing with joy we hadn’t seen in a while.
“Man, a glorious thing happened out of this mess.” He took a huge
breath, leaning against the balcony railing. “I think Vuyo and I will be good.
In fact, better than good.” His smile sobered as he shook his head in
bewilderment.
“For real? So, no divorce?” Lubabalo stood to join Luxolo by the
balcony. I stood on the other side of him.
“No divorce.” He looked between us his eyes filled with unshed
tears. “It won’t be easy of course; we’ve agreed to begin marriage
counselling as soon as possible. It was so good sleeping in her arms last
night. After so many weeks, I could finally sleep.” His voice caught in his
throat. I clasped him on his shoulder and Lubabalo did the same. Both of us
anchoring him. “I nearly lost her man. I wouldn’t have survived that.” His
relief was palpable in the way his shoulder had lifted. He’d been walking
around like he carried a weight of the world for a while. It would have been
such an atrocious crime for Luxolo to lose his family over a vindictive
Namhla. Who turned out to have been carrying some white man’s child.
“How are you Bruh? For real.” Luxolo turned to me. A simple question that
I didn’t have an answer to. As I had watched Ndoni sleep before I came
downstairs, my heart had constricted at the thought I wouldn’t be able to do
it anymore. She was what had been missing in my life and I was about to
lose her. My gut clenched and coldness spread from within, clawing itself
through my veins and settling in my blood.
“I’m not sure, Lux. To be honest, I haven’t felt like this, ever. I just
have this constant ache at the pit of my stomach, that I can’t explain.”
“I think you are in love,” Lubabalo said, sprawled on the chaise
lounge with his arm folded under his head.
“Maybe.” If this was love, then it sucked. What was I supposed to
do with that love?
“For what it’s worth, I think Ndoni loves you too,” Luxolo said in a
conciliatory tone.
“She’s said nothing. But then again, why would she? I’m sure she is
protecting her heart too. What the fuck am I offering her? Nothing. She has
been through so much in her life. She deserves to be loved unconditionally.
The way she is so selfless Bruh, she doesn’t even demand it. This is fucked
up, man.” The irony was my yearning to be loved.
“Your marriage. Is it supposed to be a real thing? Like kids and all?”
Luxolo asked. I wasn’t sure how much to tell them just in case things didn’t
work out as I planned. I wasn’t one to doubt my capabilities, but I was on
unchartered territory.
I turned and looked across the distance, watched as the tree branches
swayed from the slight wind. “Yeah.”
“Fuck. I seriously don't wish to be in your shoes,” Lubabalo said.
“What can we do though?” Luxolo asked. “Anything you need us to
do name it. You’ve always been there for us through our difficult times, let
us help you Lusanda.” I wish to God they could.
 “Just look after Ndoni for me. I will be busy for the next coming
weeks.” If they had my back with her, then maybe my head would be
completely in the game. I feared that the can of worms I was to open would
have collateral damage. I joined them at the shooting range. I needed to let
off some steam. We found Gcobani and Bongani there already waiting. It
seemed like I created monsters as they were also joining fight classes. Like
I had time to teach people the skills that I had accumulated over twenty
years. How do you teach a grown-ass man karate?
I found Ndoni already waiting for me on our return home for the
doctor’s appointment. She’d just returned from Bhengu Inc. and she was
being cagey about the outcome. I wasn’t worried about it. I’d be glad if
Gcobani could find her something to do to keep herself busy while I was
gone. Ndoni wasn’t the type who enjoyed sitting around and doing nothing,
and if she continued being cooped up in the penthouse, she’d lose her mind
for sure. We found Dr Phillips already waiting at Memorial hospital. She
began by checking her blood pressure as I sat on the chair beside the bed,
my hand holding Ndoni’s.
“Miss Zwane, I’m worried about your blood pressure, it’s slightly high,” the
doctor said after reading the monitor. “It’s still manageable but you must be
cautious.” It could be the stress of my marriage, I thought, guilt gnawing at
me. Ndoni might not show her pain, but I knew she felt it as much as I did
if not worse.
“I will work on that doctor,” Ndoni said with a smile. Always a
brave face. “Are we able to see the baby?”
“In four weeks when you come for your appointment, you’ll be able
to go for a 3D scan. That's when you can clearly see the baby. Right now,
you can see the shape of him or her. I’m sure if you want to find out the
gender, we can also check.” Ndoni looked at me, her brows raised.
“Do you want to know?” I asked.
“Yes. I do. Don’t you?” Her eyes were bright with excitement.
“I do too.” Sudden joy and a sense of anticipation hit me in the
centre of my chest. My hold on her hand tightened as we waited for the
doctor to prepare the ultrasound. We watched her in rapt silence as she
moved the device over Ndoni’s belly. The fast beating sound on the monitor
had me leaning closer to her.
“That's your baby’s heartbeat. Nice and strong.” I held Ndoni’s hand
tighter, and she squeezed mine back as we listened to the sound. We could
see the shape of the baby in shades of black. “Looks like the little one is
hiding. Can’t seem to be able to tell the gender.”
“Come on, princess, show yourself for daddy,” I whispered.
“It could be a boy baby,” she whispered back. My heart expanded
inside of me as everything in me shifted into unfamiliar territory.
“Nah. That's daddy's princess in there.” I never thought I would feel
this overwhelming need to protect someone.
“There we go,” The doctor’s voice halted. “Yes, daddy might be
right. Congratulations mommy and daddy! It’s a girl.” My heart stalled and
then heat spread through my veins, melting the ice that had been lodged
there for a while now. I blinked a few times, trying to keep the tears that
threatened to fall at bay. “Well, everything seems in order. I’ll leave you to
fix yourself.” The doctor stood and was about to clean Ndoni, but I took
over the job and I wiped her tummy and then pulled her dress down. I
helped her to sit up.
“Thank you, My Pearl.” My hands shook as I cupped her face. Her
glistening eyes looked up, piercing mine, my heart almost bursting. “This is
the best gift that anyone has ever given me. I never even realised I needed,”
I said, swallowing the lump that lodged in my throat.
“Thank you for making me keep her,” her smile wavered. “I cannot
believe I almost didn’t have her.” My chest clenched at seeing the pain and
guilt in her eyes. Did she not understand the gift she had given me? The
courage it took for her to keep the baby.
“My Pearl, remember that was our decision.” I moved closer to her,
feeling the warmth radiating from her. “What matters though is that we
didn’t go through with it. I never want to hear you crucify yourself for that
ever again. You are a very brave woman. You kept a baby with a man you
hardly knew. I know that was a scary thought, but you trusted in me without
knowing me. I’ll forever be grateful for that.” I swiped the tears that
streamed down her face with my thumbs. Her vulnerability tugged at my
heartstrings because I knew she didn’t let anyone see that part of her.
“Thank you for being here with me.”
“I wouldn’t be anywhere else. I love you, Ndoni.” Her breath hitched and
her eyes widened. My heart started beating fast once I realised what I had
just said, and that I meant every word. I was in love. I fucking love her!
Fuck! Was this even an appropriate time or place?
 “Did you just say you love me?” I nodded, placing my forehead
against hers.
“Yes. I love you. I’m hopelessly and head over heels in love with
you Ndoniyamanzi Zwane, my precious pearl.” She shook her head as if in
disbelief her hands clasped over mine.
“I love you.” I felt dizzy and for a second, I thought I was
hallucinating. “Oh my God, I love you,” she repeated with a sense of
wonder in a tone, then her face crumpled. “Oh no. No. No. No!” I planted a
soft kiss on her wobbling lips, silencing her fears. I tasted the saltiness of
her tears as I deepened the kiss, pouring my soul into it.
“Fuck! Baby.” I gave her a bone-crushing hug, and she held me just
as tight. The doctor cleared her throat after a while.
“Mr Ngcobo, I’m afraid my next appointment is here.”
We pulled apart, but her hand remained clutched in mine as the
doctor gave us the prescription of vitamins to take.
“I love you,” I said it again as we left the doctor’s office.
“I love you.” I grinned like an idiot, wanting to shout from the top
of my lungs. It felt good to hear it and I wanted to spend the rest of my life
hearing it.
“Lunch?”
“Yes please, I’m hungry.” She was always hungry, and I was always
ready to feed her.
A while later we were in bed, the moments I’d miss and cherish the
most. Being in her arms always felt like home. I will fight to death, to
return to her.
“Baby. What are you thinking about?” I asked, my body turned to
her as I rested my head on my hand. She looked up; her eyes most visible in
the dim room.
“Just the thought of not being able to be with you like this again
hurts,” she whispered, her fingers drawing circles on my chest.
“It scares me too. Especially now that I’ve realised how much you
mean to me. You are my world, my everything. Losing you means I’m
losing my reason for being.”
“That's how I feel. The thought of you with her.” She turned her
head away from me and I gently brought her back.
“Don’t think about it. I will never share with her what I share with
you. You have my heart.”
 “You have mine.” I gathered her in my arms and soaked in her
embrace.
“Tomorrow I have to go back. There are pressing matters I need to
attend to.” She tightened her hold on me.
“I wish you didn’t have to go.” God, little daggers jabbed through
my chest and twisted.
“One day I’ll tell you why I had to do it. I hope you know I
wouldn’t put us through this if I had a choice.”

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 An act of war

“Sands! You have guests. You need to get here quick.” There was a
sharp knock on the door. Luxolo’s voice sounded urgent. These people need

to go back to their houses, I thought. Who the fuck could this be at this time
of the day without letting me know they are coming? How did they get to
my floor? I was buried inside my pearl’s hot core, planning to give both of

us a brilliant start to the morning. Waking up with my morning wood

lodged between the warmth of her thighs had been too much of a temptation
to resist.
“Is he in there?” Then I knew why as I sprang off the bed.
“He is coming. Come, let’s wait downstairs.” I heard Luxolo say.
Swiftly putting on my sweatpants. Ndoni was leaning on her elbows, her
brows drawn together.
“I didn’t know she was coming.” I put a t-shirt on. I took another
look at her before closing the door behind me, heading downstairs. I found
Melokuhle and two bodyguards sitting in one of the lounges. Luxolo and
the gang stayed in the kitchen and I knew they were listening in.
“Melokuhle.” My voice sounded harsher than I intended. “What are
you doing here?” With one look at the bodyguards, they disappeared.
“Is that how you greet your wife?” She came to her feet with a
stubborn set of her shoulders. “I missed you.”
“I told you I was coming back. I needed time alone to sort out some
things.”
 “Is she one thing you had to take care of?” she asked pointing in the
staircase’s direction and I turned to find Ndoni gracefully walking down
wearing my shirt and leggings. She came and stood at the bottom of the
stairs.
“Sanibonani,” she greeted, and Melo kept quiet. Ryan walked in from the
kitchen followed by Vuyo both flanking Ndoni.
“Melokuhle. Hello,” Ryan greeted.
“Hello Ryan, Vuyo.”
“We were not expecting you this morning,” Vuyo said her voice
sweet as tartaric.
“Clearly.” Melo’s gaze flew to Ndoni. Vuyo raised one eyebrow.
“What is she doing here? Doesn’t she know you are married?” Her sharp
gaze returned to me.
“This is her house, Melo. She lives here. Can we talk in private?”
“Her house?” she screeched.
“I said let’s talk in private. We are not doing this here!” I didn’t want
to stress Ndoni anymore than I was already doing. I grabbed Melo’s arm
and pulled her towards the kitchen. Lubabalo and Luxolo nearly fell on
their backs. They quickly walked out, leaving us alone.
“How could you do this to me?” she asked, wrenching her arm from
my grasp. “You left me at the palace alone. We are not even married a week
and you are already shacking up with your lover!” she spat, her face
contorted with anger.
“Melo had you not come here unannounced you would have seen
none of this. I asked you for some time. I wish you had respected that.”
“So, this is my fault?”
“For someone who claimed not to want this, you are acting very
weird.” I leaned against the kitchen island and watched her as she paced the
floor.
“It doesn’t matter what the circumstances of our marriage are. The
fact is that we’re married, and I require the utmost respect from you. I will
not have you cheating on me. What will that make me, the laughingstock of
The Kingdom? You cheat on me with that dark thing!” She waved her hand.
I looked across and noticed that at least Ndoni was out of earshot. I swiftly
moved to grab her shoulders.
“Don’t you ever call her that ever again!” I gritted. “I will not
tolerate you talking trash about her. Your beef is with me. I married you.
Deal with me and leave her out of this.” A flash of fear crossed her eyes. I
let her go.
“It hurts to know that you were with her the entire time,” she said in
a low voice, her lips turned down.
I let out a sigh, “I didn’t mean to hurt you, Melo. You need to
understand I was with Ndoni a few hours before I married you and I had
planned on being with her even after I rescued the kids. They forced our
marriage upon both of us by circumstances beyond both our control. I’m
sorry I sound insensitive and if I’m being careless, but I needed this time
with her. I’m sorry if that hurts you. I’m just being honest.”
“So, every time you come to Joburg you’ll be coming to her.” Her
eyes searched mine.
“I respect her too much to use her like that.”
“You respect her!” Her voice rose. “What about me? Where is my
respect as your wife?”
“Melo what do you want me to say? I apologised. This will not
happen again.” Fuck! How did I get to a place where I needed to explain
myself?
“Then why are you giving her your house?”
“In case you haven’t noticed, she is pregnant with my child. I will
take care of her and the baby. That is non-negotiable and isn’t up for
discussion.” It was way too fucking early for this conversation and I needed
a shot of caffeine, so I turned to switch on the kettle.
“Why can’t she give us the baby? Then you’ll have nothing to do
with her again.” I laughed. That was just too funny until I looked at her
serious face.
“Are you serious?”
“Yes. She doesn't have to be in our lives. There are plenty of nannies
at the palace that can look after the child. Why should we have her in our
lives?” I moved closer to her until her back was against the wall. I could see
the panic in her eyes.
“Listen here, Melokuhle,” I growled. “I understand we are both in a
difficult situation that we didn’t want to be in. But listen and listen well.
Ndoni is part of me as much as I am part of her. I will not cut her off from
my life and I will not take our baby from her. Get those silly ideas out of
your head. Lastly, stay the fuck away from her. If I so much as see you
breathe next to her. I will kill you. Do you understand?” Her head bobbed
up and down. “Good, I’m glad we understand each other. Now take your
bodyguards and go to the hotel. I’ll fetch you in a few hours, then we are
going back to the palace.” I moved back, and she scurried out as I followed
her back to the lounge.
They were all sitting in silence. Melo picked up her handbag and
stormed out without a word. I turned and left them all there to go shower. I
was in no mood for a lecture. Once in the bathroom, I stripped naked and
went under the cold shower and it helped me cool off the temper that had
risen to boiling point. A few minutes later the shower door opened, and I
felt her hands trying to go around my waist. She was struggling though to
hold me properly as her bump was in the way.
“Hot water please!” I adjusted the water temperature. “Are you
okay?” Her tone was soft and soothing behind me. I turned around and
cupped her face.
“She will not come here again.” She nodded. “Baby.”
“Okay. Don’t worry about me, I’m fine.” I searched her eyes, and I
saw nothing, but love reflected in them. I took her lips with mine. Before
long she was screaming my name, her hands holding the wall, with me
buried deep inside her as we both reached oblivion. How the fuck was I
going to stay away from her?
For the sake of everyone involved, especially her, I had to. I dressed
while she watched me. As soon as I was done, we both went downstairs.
Surprisingly, no one said anything. We had breakfast and thereafter I left. I
went to the airfield while the driver went to fetch Melo from the hotel. The
moment we landed, I took my files and went to my father’s office. I found
him there sitting with my mother.
“I thought you’d spend more time with Makoti,” My father said.
“Did you send her?” His brows shot up, probably not impressed by
my harsh tone.
“She came to me and told me how much she misses you. I thought
maybe you could spend the rest of the week with her,” he shrugged.
“Father, I asked you for some time. I left her here on purpose. Can
you not interfere anymore in this marriage?”
“What happened Sanda?” my mother asked with a look of concern
on her face.
“She found me with Ndoni.”
“I thought you finished that relationship.” My father sat forward.
 “Why didn’t you finish yours with my mother?” They looked at
each other and then back to me.
“You love her.” It was not a question from my father. I sighed and
slid into the chair, suddenly drained.
“Yes, I do. Very much.”
“This complicates things,” my father said, throwing his napkin on
the table.
“Was it going to change the situation?” I asked, even though I
already knew the answer to that.
“No,” he quietly responded.
“There is no point in regrets then.”
“What are you going to do?” my mother asked, her eyes bright.
“Why don’t you take her as a second wife. It is part of our custom,”
my father suggested, as if I didn’t know that.
“I don't want Ndoni as the second wife. I want her as my only wife!”
I snapped. As if Ndoni would agree to that madness.
“That is not possible, Son.”
“Yeah. I know that.” I stood and asked to be excused like I was ten.
They let me go. I went through to his other office and started working. A lot
of things made little sense. I was not sure who had been advising my father
over the years, but I needed to investigate a few individuals. One thing for
sure, I knew I was at the brink of exposing one of the biggest scandals in
history, and I needed to be sure of what I was up against.
I couldn’t even share my suspicions with my father. That was the
primary reason I agreed to this marriage. It was the only way my family
would still be in power, and that allowed me to do my work. Our continent
was about to be sold to the highest bidder. That would leave us as slaves to
the New World. I couldn’t let that happen. I logged in on my system and
wished that I had been in my office back at the penthouse. My laptop would
have to do. I sent a malware program that would help me infiltrate an
organisation I never thought I would, The Kingdom’s server. I had to follow
a trail of coded messages and all had one person in common, Melokuhle’s
father.
Of course, the messages were encrypted, which was further proof
that they had something to hide. The sooner I decoded those messages, the
sooner I would have answers and my freedom. I had to make sure I cover
my tracks as well because the moment they found out I was onto them;
evidence would quickly vanish.
I lost track of time and when I realised it was almost early hours of
the morning, my muscles were stiff, and my eyes burned with fatigue. I
suddenly missed being in Ndoni’s arms, and I couldn’t resist the pull to call
her.
“Why are you not sleeping?” I asked the moment she answered.
“I can’t sleep.” I heard the rustle of sheets and wished I were there
with her.
“You need to so that the little princess can grow.”
“That's all you care about, I see.” Her soft tone penetrated under my
skin and sent tingling waves all over my body.
“I care about her mom too. So, mommy, how are you?” She giggled.
“Mommy neh! I like the sound of that. I can’t wait for her to call me that.”
“I’ll be called daddy. Isn’t that something?”
“It is.”
“How are you?” I heard her exhale.
“I’m heartsore and lonely. I miss you.” My heart clenched.
“I miss you too.”
“Why are you up at this time?”
“I was working,” I said, looking at the information flashing on my
computer screen.
“You work too hard. You need to rest.” We chatted until I was
talking by myself and I could hear her deep breathing.
“I love you My Pearl. Don’t give up on us,” I whispered before
hanging up. I didn’t want to go to bed. Sharing a bed with Melo would be a
struggle. There was a couch and a throw in the office. I took off my shoes
and slept on the couch.

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 Hero Worship
woke up to the sound of a knock from the door and turned my head to
I check the digital clock on the side of the bed. It was almost twelve
midday. Not surprising because I only fell asleep in the early hours of the
morning, I battled to sleep without Lusanda to a point that I had taken to
sleeping in his unwashed t-shirts that were getting a little funky and in need
of a wash. It amazed me to move from being by myself to craving someone
else’s presence in my life the way I did. Not just someone, Lusanda. He’d
become a necessary need for me and that was terrifying if I were being
honest.
“Come in,” the door pushed open revealing Vuyo carrying a tray of
food.
“I was worried, it’s almost lunchtime and you haven’t shown
yourself downstairs.” She placed the tray on the small table by the seating
area. She wore bum shorts and a loose floral top with sneakers. She looked
way too sexy for a mother of three, her weave was tied into a loose bun on
top of her head. I slid off the bed and walked to the adjoining bathroom.
“I slept very late,” I said, leaving the door open so I could continue
to speak to her. I surprised myself at the lack of inhibition I continued to
display.
“Speaking to Lusanda until early hours of the morning again.”
“Yeah, it’s the only way I’m able to fall asleep.”
“Do you know that you are creating the sleeping patterns for your
baby? When she’s born, she’ll keep you up at those godforsaken hours.”
Once done in the bathroom, I walked back to join her.
“Maybe we should sit on the balcony. I need fresh air.” She nodded
and picked up the tray of food while I led her outside onto the balcony. I
inhaled the fresh air the moment I stepped out. The sun high in the sky, no
cloud in sight. The only thing that could complete the view before me
would be the ocean. I opened the silver plate cover to find bacon, egg and
cheese roll-ups, and a bowl of fruit. There was also a glass of freshly
squeezed juice. “This looks good, Vuyo, thank you.”
“Don’t thank me, I’m just a delivery lady. Lubah cooked before him
and Luxolo left.” I dug into my food, realising how famished I was.
“Where is Ry?”
“Probably with the babies.” We sat in comfortable silence as I ate.
“I was wondering where you two disappeared to,” Ryan said as he
walked out barefoot. His hair had grown over the past weeks. He had it tied
in a bun. The look made him look relaxed in his ripped jeans and a simple t-
shirt. He came and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “How are you feeling
today?”
I had to swallow the bite in my mouth first. “Good, better now that
I’ve eaten.” He nodded, sitting opposite us.
“What did Lusanda say about you accepting the internship at
Bhengu Inc.,” he asked, snatching a piece of fruit from my bowl.
“I haven’t told him yet. We didn’t get to it when he was here.” Vuyo
turned to look at me as Ry’s eyes widened. “It’s not something I want to
share over the phone. You know how protective he is over this baby, he
might just fight me on this.” I was happy that Gcobani broke the rules for
me to fit me for the next intake of the internship. To be personally mentored
by him was a bonus. I wasn’t naïve to think the sketches I showed him were
the reason I was in. My connection with Lusanda was the ticket. I wasn’t
complaining though. It was my time, and I planned to grab the opportunity
with both hands. Well, after getting over the bout of nerves that seemed to
attack me whenever I was around Mr Bhengu.
I never, not even in my wildest dreams, thought I’d ever meet my
favourite person in the world and now that I was kind of on friendly terms
with him, I didn’t know how to handle that. My brain seemed to
malfunction whenever I was around him. I hope I got over that very quickly
before he thought I was a tongue-tied rural bumpkin.
“I know it will not be an easy subject to engage in babe, but trust
me, communication is key to any successful relationship. It will save you a
lot of headache at the end,” Vuyo said, folding her legs on the couch. Ryan
and I both turned to look at her.
“What’s up, Vuyo?” Ryan asked. She let out a sigh.
“Luxolo and I had a long conversation a few days ago.” I put my
finished bowl of fruit on the table and turned fully to face her. “I had been
avoiding speaking with him for a while until the abduction.” She shook her
head. “It hurt to think, he would hurt me like that you know, it didn’t matter
what we were going through at the time, I just felt like what he did had been
the ultimate betrayal.” I took her hand in mine.
“Time apart made me think of our relationship, how it had been
even before Uvi’s passing. There were cracks that we didn’t want to look at.
Young lovers and all. I think even the pressure of living up to that
perfection, you know.” She looked between Ryan and me. I nodded my
head even though I couldn’t imagine what she’d gone through, but I
understood what it meant to hurt. “I had to acknowledge that we weren’t
perfect, and that I had a part to play. It still hurts to think of Luxolo with
someone else, but I want him back. I’ve been feeling guilty for a while now
for wanting him back,” she sniffed. Ryan moved swiftly from his seat and
sat on the armrest next to Vuyo.
“No one is judging you Vuyo,” he said placing his hand on her
shoulder. “You have a right to deal with this situation any way you see fit. If
you decide you don’t want to work things out, I’d still support you. If you
stay, I’d be happy for you. It is your life, honey. Live the way you want in
your terms.” I nodded my agreement. Vuyo smiled up at him.
“Yeah, I miss him. He is my best friend, my lover and the father of
my kids.” I couldn’t help but smile at hearing that. I’d been silently rooting
for them to get back together. “We have a long way to go though, we have
our first therapy session in a few days.”
“If you are both willing to do the work, it will be okay,” I said.
“Well, it helps that the child Namhla claimed to be Luxolo’s was
actually not his.” She said as Ryan returned to his seat. “I don’t think I
would survive a reminder of his infidelity.”
“Oh yeah, Lu tells me it’s some sugar daddies’ baby,” he said.
“Yep, imagine. This person called herself my friend at some point.”
“Oh, honey, that one was never your friend. She had hoe written all over her
face.” Ryan waved his hand over his face as we burst out laughing. This
friendship thing felt really good. We spent the better part of the afternoon
by the pool until Luxolo and Lubabalo returned home. As I sat with the
couples and the kids, I missed Lusanda. His teasing smile and his constant
touches. Would it always feel like this when he wasn’t around? This
yearning that settled in my chest and refused to go away. Was he with her,
whispering sweet nothings as he slid into her warm sheath? The thought
had me wanting to vomit as my body physically rejected it.
“Hey, are you okay?” Lubabalo asked, and I realised that it was just
the two of us left. Everyone else had moved to the kitchen. I gave him a
quick glance and then my gaze dropped to my hand. My self-affirmations
slipped occasionally and I still felt a bit self-conscious from time to time at
being around such male beauty and the feeling of being scrutinised had me
twisting my fingers.
“Yes, maybe just a little tired.” Ryan returned and sat on Lubabalo’s
lap; his arm slung over his shoulder.
“Are you feeling ill?” Lubabalo’s thick brows furrowed.
“No.” I stood up. “Just time for my afternoon nap, excuse me.” I
picked up my phone and headed for the bedroom.
“I’ll come to get you for dinner,” Ryan called after me. I waved my
thanks and climbed the stairs with my eyes stinging.

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 A chip off my soul
had been gone for over two weeks following a lead to London. The more
I I thought I was getting closer to the truth, the further it slipped from my
grasp. I collected the pieces of the puzzle and kept them close to my
chest. I spoke to Ndoni every chance I got, even though she remained in the
dark of my whereabouts. I called her from different locations using burner
phones. She was the only one keeping me sane the further I delved into the
underworld.
Some people spoke with the lure of money and some needed more
convincing, and I hated that option. It meant I had to reach out to the old me
I had tried so hard to bury, the tortured child at the hands of the rebels. My
nightmares had returned and became a constant companion whenever I
closed my eyes. Her voice kept me sane in the dead of the night when the
conscience tormented me. I was doing what had to be done.
I couldn’t face her after my trip, so I flew straight to the palace and
went to update my father with a few things that I thought he needed to
know. The rest I kept to myself, especially my suspicions about
Melokuhle’s father and those suspicions extended to my new bride. I left
my father’s office and went to my room and found Melo napping. I changed
into comfortable clothes and when I came out of the closet, she was getting
off the bed.
“Hello.” She looked up and gave me a small smile.
“Hello, Lusanda. You are back!” Her chirpy tone grated on my
nerves. I immediately regretted feeling like that. What I suspected of her
was still not confirmed.
“Yeah, about an hour ago. How are you?” It seemed I was becoming
an expert in small talk.
“I’m fine. Just bored. I don’t know what to do with myself. Is there
anything you’d like me to do?” I blinked at her, then shook my head.
 “Not really. Why don’t you speak to my mother I’m sure there is
something that she can give you to do?”
“Maybe. I’ll do that.” We stood in awkward silence for a few
seconds until she turned and walked towards the door.
“Melo.” She stopped and looked at me. “I’m sorry I can’t give you
what you want. It’s not you. It’s just−”
“It’s okay, Lusanda. You don’t have to explain further. I
understand.” She turned and walked out. The charade had to end. I didn't
see her again until dinner. Which became an awkward affair with my
parents and brother at the table. Once it became difficult to swallow the
meal, I excused myself and returned to my father’s office. The moment I sat
behind his desk; my phone rang. I frowned at seeing Lubabalo’s name
flashing on the screen. My immediate thought was that something was
wrong with Ndoni.
“Lubah!’
“Hey, Whasup Sands. You are a hard man to get hold off.” I tried to regulate
my breathing.
“Yeah, I’ve been out of the country for some time.”
“I figured.”
“Is everything okay? Is it Ndoni?” I held my breath.
“Yes, and no.” My body went cold. “Physically she is fine. I just
don’t think she is copying well with your absence.” I ran my hand over my
face. I knew she was battling, and I was doing all I can to get back to her
but hearing it from someone else left me gutted.
“I know Lubah. I’m trying.”
“I know you are Sands. I’m not blaming you. I’m just giving you a
head up just in case she hides it from you. Be extra attentive, yeah?”
“I hear you. Thanks, Bro.”
“Take care of yourself too.” I looked at the phone long after he hung
up, then called Ndoni. She sounded cheerful on the phone and chatted with
her until she fell asleep, and then I went back to work.
Maybe it would be better if I asked the housekeeper to prepare a
separate bedroom for me, I thought as I made my way to my bedroom. It
felt like Melo might have come into this marriage with expectations that
wouldn’t be met. But then if I asked for separate rooms the staff would talk
and I couldn’t risk the word on the status of our marriage getting out.
 The side lamp on my side of the bed was still on, bathing the room
in soft light. I stripped off to my boxer briefs and quietly slipped in under
the covers, careful not to wake her. I stared at the darkness until I couldn’t
anymore. A sound startled me awake and when I looked up Melo was
standing by the bed with a tray full of breakfast.
“Good morning.” She put the tray on the bed as I sat up.
“Morning,” I mumbled. “What's this?” She shrugged off the silky
morning gown she had on and dropped it on the floor. She stood in a barely-
there negligée.
“Peace offering. We are still friends above everything else. I don’t
want bad blood between us.”
“Oh, you didn’t have to do this.” I threw the covers off, excusing myself,
and went to the bathroom. When I returned to the bedroom, she instructed
me to get back under the covers, so I did, for a truce right? She passed a
glass of freshly squeezed orange juice. I drank it all in one go while she sat
on the side of the bed and watched.
As I placed the glass on the side table, there was a strange taste on
my tongue. I looked up at her, my eyes questioning. Did she just fucking
drug me! Then I was suddenly feeling hot. She stood and my vision blurred
seeing four of her. I couldn’t miss the smirk on her face while she took the
tray away. Fuck! She drugged me! The bitch drugged me! My mind
screamed alert, but my body refused to move.
“Melokuhle,” I slurred the words, the drug working its way fast in
my system. “What the fuck did you do?” I watched with my unfocused eyes
as she stripped naked and got on the bed, removed the covers, and took my
boxer briefs off. My mind screamed in frustration as my limbs refused to
move. I could feel my irregular heartbeat bouncing against my chest. She
then pulled me down until I was lying on my back. “Melokuhle, don’t do
this!” My tongue felt thick as I spoke, slurring my words.
“I’m sorry Lusanda.” She settled between my legs. “I love you, why won't
you see that? Maybe if I give you the baby, then you'll love me. If you slept
with me, you can’t just have this marriage annulled.” I willed my body to
move with everything in me, but it was in vain; I couldn’t move a single
muscle except the one she was after.
 I wished that her drug had knocked me out; that would be a kind
thing for a rapist to do! She began stroking my dick while sucking the head,
I felt the weird sensation, it wasn’t the most pleasurable feeling, just a
tingle. She clumsily began to suck me deeper into her mouth. I thought of
screaming, but no one would hear me because all the rooms were
soundproof. This can’t be happening. I hadn’t felt that helpless since I was a
child in those training camps. I had sworn to myself that I would never
allow myself to be under someone else’s power like I’d been.
I lay there and accepted my fate while my chest constricted, the
tightness threatening my ability to breathe. She positioned herself above me
her face gleeful. Right then I knew that she was in on whatever her father
was planning.
“Melokuhle,” I pleaded. “Please don’t do this.” She sank into me.
“Wait! Fuck!” She let out a pained cry, her face contorting in pain. I have
never in my life felt so violated as she sat on me taking gasping breaths. As
she moved, I glared at her with my eyes stinging, thinking of all the ways to
kill her. Bile rose in my throat, tasted bitter as I swallowed it down.
“I’m sorry. I know you hate me right now. I love you. I love you,
Lusanda. I’m sorry about this. I know once I have your baby, you’ll love
me.”
“I swear to god Melokuhle, I will fucking kill you for this. Fuck!” I
felt like a retard trying to get my tongue to work the way I was accustomed
to. She clumsily picked up the pace with her inexperience showing. If the
situation weren’t so dire, I would laugh at the irony of being raped by a
virgin. I was raised to be a human killing machine and this woman writhing
above me made feel worthless in a few seconds, the core of my being was
being violated and I couldn’t do anything to stop it. Then my body suddenly
went rigid as I reached my climax. It felt like my soul had just been ripped
off my chest.
“Fuck!” I felt a tear escape at the corner of my eye. My eyes
watched her as she got off me and limped to the bathroom and returned with
a towel to wipe me. She covered me with the sheet, then a few seconds later
I heard the shower running.
“Do you know how hard it was for me to watch you fawning over
that ugly thing?” Her eyes flashed to me. I saw the deep hatred she had for
me. “You chose her over me!” she spat. Once dressed she came and leaned
over me, her nose lifted. “Take care of the royal bastard, Lusanda. In nine
months’ time, you’ll be welcoming the true heir to the throne.” She turned
around and walked out, closing the door behind her. I lay there and watched
the door for a while. My muscles were still not responding. How could I not
see this coming? How could I, Lusanda Ngcobo, be bested by a woman
with only a drug? I should’ve trusted my instincts the moment I suspected
her to be working with her father. Oh, God! How I was I going to explain
this to Ndoni? I swallowed again, the bile tasting bitter in my throat.
I must have passed out because when I woke up a few hours had
passed, and the drug had worn off. I, however, had a splitting headache. I
got up and went to shower. I stood under that shower until the water turned
cold. I went out to get dressed, then called Terror.
“Sands!”
“I need you to find Melokuhle.” Anger gnawed at me.
“Isn’t she with you?”
“She left. In the next twenty-four hours, Terror.” I hung up. Shit just
got way shittier.
I walked through my father's office without even knocking. He
looked up, startled. I leaned over the table.
“Tell the Gumede family to come and fetch their daughter before I
kill her!” He stood up and came around the table.
“What happened?”
“Do it, Father! She ran away, for now. Let them know when I find
her first, she is dead.”
“But she is your wife!” he spluttered.
“She is not my wife!” I roared, and he reared his head backwards.
“Son, sit down you are making me dizzy. Tell me calmly what’s
going on.” He returned to his seat, but I remained standing. I didn’t have
time for all of this. I had the head of security cross-questioning the royal
guards that were supposed to watch over Melokuhle. I wasn’t hopeful that
they would know anything. If she planned this as well as I think she did,
she’d have used the secrets passages we used as kids to escape.
“That bitch is not my wife. I never married her!” I would not
humiliate myself by telling my father about the rape.
“But the wedding? You signed.” He took a breath. “Explain.”
“Come on, Father, how do you know me? Did you think I'd just roll
over and marry someone? I never filed the certificate. The marriage was
never captured and recorded. I made sure of that. We are not married. I was
just buying us time until I finished my investigation because I thought she
also didn’t want to be married to me! Now she has done this! I’ll find her
and I swear I will make her pay!”
He spread his hands before him, “Why won't you tell me what
happened.? How are we going to buy you time?”
“I’ll make a plan! This marriage is over!” I left him there, blinking
nonstop. I called my pilot to fly me back to Joburg. When I arrived, I just
couldn’t bring myself to see Ndoni with the shame that clawed at me. If it
weren’t for the trip to her home for damages payment, I would disappear for
a while. I booked myself into a hotel with a bottle of whiskey, I needed
oblivion. I needed the feeling of helplessness that had been weighing me
down to disappear. Before I could drink myself to a stupor, I called Terror.
“Talk to me. Have you found her?” I growled the moment he
answered.
“No Sands. She disappeared. The cameras only caught her up to
your mother’s garden. From there we can’t get any footage as there are no
cameras around.” She must have gone through the forest that led to the
river.
“Did you check the edge of the forest?”
“There are no streetlights nor robots for kilometres. She is not using
her bank cards and her phone is being picked up at the palace.”
“You need to find her Terror. Keep me posted.” I hung up, then took
a swig from the bottle. I welcomed the burn, but it wasn’t enough to wash
away the self-loathing, so I took another one. One bottle led to another until
I passed out.
The sun was already up when I came to. I had a splitting headache. I
overslept. We were supposed to be meeting at 9 am to leave at 10 am for
Ndoni’s homestead, Vryheid. A letter had been sent to alert her so-called
family of our impending arrival. Luxolo, Vuyo, Lubabalo and Ryan had
taken that as an opportunity for a road trip. My uncles would only fly down
the following day. When I checked my phone, I had a few missed calls from
Luxolo. I returned his call.
“He Fondini, simele wena apha. Uphi kanti?” he asked.
“I’ll be there in thirty.” I hung up. I called my driver and had him
take me to the rental dealership. We needed a bigger car that would
accommodate all six of us comfortably. Once I picked the car up, I drove to
the penthouse, dread seeping through my bones. How was I going to face
Ndoni? I kept my shades on as I went up to the penthouse. I found them
already waiting, I walked through and Ndoni immediately came to her feet
and approached me.
“Hey, baby.” I gave a kiss on the cheek, my eyes evading hers even
behind the sunglasses.
“Hi, baby. Are you okay?” she frowned, tilting her head backwards.
I responded with a nod.
“Let me go pack a bag. I’ll be down shortly.” I could feel their eyes
on my back as I went up the stairs. After a quick prayer, we were off. I
drove because I needed something to distract me from my dark thoughts
while
Ndoni sat next to me, Lubah was with Ryan at the back seat. Luxolo
and Vuyo took the middle row, all cuddled up. I drove in silence for a while,
listening to the hum of conversation from others. Now and again I could
feel Ndoni’s eyes on me, but I kept my eyes on the road, not daring to look
at her. I knew she was anxious about going home; she had shared as much
in our daily conversations leading up to this day. I felt like shit shutting her
out. I stretched my hand and touched her thigh. She turned and took my
hand in hers and held it tightly, then returned her gaze to the window.

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 Behind the mask
sat holding Lusanda’s hand in mine for a while as he drove in silence
I hiding behind the dark glasses. I didn’t miss the way he had evaded the
kiss when he’d arrived at the penthouse that morning. I also didn’t miss
the stench of alcohol from his breath. Cold tentacles sucked at my insides as
I watched the road pass by. I felt it in my gut that something had gone very
wrong. The silence ate away at me, but I didn’t want to push. I also felt that
he’d be more open if it were the two of us. I must have fallen asleep
because when I came to, we were at a filling station.
“Is Lusanda okay?” Vuyo asked as she walked beside me on our
way to the ladies’ room.
“I don’t know, he says he is fine, but he doesn’t look fine.”
“It’s not like him to be this quiet,” she said compounding my fears.
The guys were standing outside the car chatting, while Lusanda
stood far off on his phone, his shoulders looking tense and a mask of anger
over his face. When he finished that conversation, he got inside and started
the car without a word. Once we were all settled, he drove out. I took my
phone and connected it to the aux cable, to play my music.
When the song ‘Particular’ came on he glanced at me and the
corners of his top lip lifted. I wanted more of that smile, so I sang along,
knowing very well how terrible I sounded. For him, I’d do anything to
make him smile. When I pressed repeat, he sang along too and that seemed
to melt the ice that had settled since morning. My mood declined as we got
closer to Vryheid. I wasn’t looking forward to seeing my aunt and her
family. The only thing that brought a trickle of light was the thought of
seeing Sis Dudu. I wished I were only coming to visit her like I’d planned
to do once the baby arrived. As Lusanda took the off-ramp that led to the
B&B, memories of our last stay flooded my mind. It is amazing how our
relationship had evolved since then.
I felt his hand covering mine on my thigh, “Are you okay?”
 “I never thought I’d be returning to this place again.” He linked his
fingers in mine.
“I’m sorry I’m making you come back, baby.” He brought the back
of my hand to his lips.”
“I understand why it has to be done.” He pulled up into the B&B
parking. After we checked in, we agreed to meet at the reception in an hour.
Lusanda slung his sports bag over his shoulder and pulled my suitcase as he
led me to our room. “Baby,” I reached out to him the moment the door
closed behind us. He dropped the bags on the floor and turned to me. “Are
you alright?” he’d taken off his sunglasses, and I didn’t like what I saw in
his eyes. Sadness, hurt, anger and shame all swirled through them. He
worked his jaw repeatedly.
“It’s work, baby.” I gave him a look that said I didn’t buy that. He
placed his hand on my shoulders. “This weekend is about you my love, let’s
work on getting you through it then we will return to me.” He placed his
lips on mine before I could respond. “Let’s freshen up and join the others,”
he said as we pulled apart. “I am excited to meet Sis Dudu finally.” He
pulled me towards the adjoining bathroom as he effectively deflected.
The drive to the orphanage was quiet, probably because I was wrung
tight with nerves and excitement. The people with me seemed to feed off
my energy as they remained silent except for my few clipped directions. As
we approached the gate Sis Dudu was walking out with a few younger kids
I didn’t recognise. They ran around the yard in excitement. I couldn’t help
the smile that spread on my face at seeing her. She was by my door, pulling
it open the moment the car came to a stop.
“Look at you, ngane yam.” She practically pulled me out of the car and into
her arms. “I have been praying for you, my child,” she murmured against
my ear; my arms tightening around her. I could feel tears welling in my
eyes as a wave of emotion crashed over me. Eventually, we pulled apart, but
she still held my shoulder.
“Sawubona Sis Dudu.” My cheeks hurt from smiling. Her eyes went all
over me, then she spun me around.
“I cannot believe this is you. I’ve missed you so much.”
I brought her in for another hug. “I’ve missed you too.” Someone
cleared their throat and realised that everyone was standing outside the car
watching us. I grabbed Lusanda by the hand. “Sis Dudu, this is Lusanda.”
Lusanda stretched out his hand but Sis Dudu by-passed that and went for
the hug. I could see him jump in surprise a little, but he returned the hug,
“These are his friends, Luxolo, his wife Vuyo and that is Lubabalo and his
fiancé Ryan.” Sis Dudu didn’t bat an eyelid as she hugged them all then led
us into the house.
The house I had run to so many times in the past years, to cry over
her shoulder or to have a decent meal. I fought the tears that threatened to
fall as we walked through the house. We all sat, making her modest living
room a little crowded. Nobody seemed to mind as they made themselves
comfortable. The kids had probably disappeared to the main shelter behind
the house where they slept.
“I cooked, I hope you are all hungry,” she said, looking around at
everyone.
“It’s been a long drive Sis Dudu, we are famished,” Lusanda said giving her
his best smile, and I saw her blushing a little. My heart turned over at how
they all seemed to put her at ease. Vuyo and I followed her to the kitchen
that had been extended for all the cooking that took place daily. She’d made
ujeqe, a traditional steamed bread served with beef stew.
“I hope your men won’t mind eating on their laps, the dining hall is
at the back and it’s not really suitable for visitors,” Sis Dudu explained as
she plated.
“Not at all, Sis Dudu,” Vuyo quickly reassured her as she sliced the
bread. “The stew smells wonderful.” I knew it tasted just as good.
“Here take this to them.” Sis Dudu thrust a bowl of soapy water and
a towel in my hand. I fought the urge to roll my eyes as I returned to the
living room. Lusanda had a huge grin on his face as I walked in. I began
with him first and watched as he rinsed, taking his time, enjoying this by
the look on his face. He pulled the towel from my shoulder and wiped his
hands.
“I could get used to this,” he grinned. I rolled my eyes at him and
moved to the rest of the guys.
“Thank you, Makoti.” Luxolo had to add on the jibes.
“You all are being stupid.” Their laughter followed me as I returned
to the kitchen.
“Send out the plates, Ndoni,” Sis Dudu instructed.
 “Oh no, Sis Dudu, they can come to fetch their food,” Vuyo said. Sis
Dudu looked like she’d just been scandalised.
“You can do that in Joburg, not at my house! Take the plates to
them.” Vuyo and I both grabbed two plates each and took them to the men,
who couldn’t hide their grins. We enjoyed the meal over a lively
conversation, with Sis Dudu and I catching up. After the meal, she refused
our offer to do the dishes.
Vuyo asked her questions about the orphanage and after looking
around, Vuyo promised that their charity organisation would be in touch
with Sis Dudu, to help where they could. I was happy that she could share
some burdens of running the orphanage.
“What did you think of the orphanage and Sis Dudu?” I asked
Lusanda once we were alone and under the covers.
“She is a wonderful lady, baby.” He pulled my body against his.
“More so because she took care of you. The way she runs that orphanage is
commendable. She is like a mother to those kids, and it’s evident with the
way they are around her. They love her.”
“She is just selfless.” His body curled around mine.
“How do you feel about being back here?”
“I was happy about today. I had missed the kids and Sis Dudu. I’m
not sure about tomorrow though I’m just anxious. I never thought I would
ever go back there again.” I shivered at the thought of seeing my aunt and
her family.
“You’ll be fine. Remember, Vuyo will be with you all the way and
I’ll only be a few minutes away.”
“I love you,” I said.
“I love you more.” His breath fanned the back of my neck.
“Now tell me what’s wrong?” His arms tightened around me.
“I don’t know how to tell you.” His voice was low as my insides
twisted.
“When you are ready, I’ll be here. Whatever it is, we will deal with
it, together.”
“I know,” he whispered. “Your calmness is great for me. It’s very
comforting.” I felt a soft kiss on my shoulder and eventually, I gave in to
the exhaustion and fell asleep. A pained cry from Lusanda woke me. I
switched the side lamp on and found him clutching a pillow, neck muscles
corded, seemingly grasped by a terrible nightmare. He hadn’t had those in a
while. I remembered his warning for me to stay away whenever he was
under those.
I stood beside the bed and slightly shook him. His eyes flew open,
wild, and unfocused. He was drenched in sweat. His eyes closed again, and
he turned to the side before going back to sleep. My heart pounded for a
while as I watched him sleep. What tormented him so, even in his dreams?
I woke up the next day wrapped in a layer of anxiety. Lusanda was gone
from the room and I could tell by the smell of his cologne that he was ready.
I showered and wore a long dress and a doek with my sneakers. I left my
hair hanging at the back. I wore diamond studs that Lusanda had bought for
me as a gift, a bit of lip gloss with colour, and I was ready to go. I went to
the B&B dining area and found everyone already seated. Lusanda stood
when he saw me approach and came to hug me. He seemed better that
morning in faded jeans, t-shirt, and a navy-blue blazer.
“You look beautiful,” he whispered against my ear as my skin
tingled at the compliment.
“Thank you.” He let go, and I joined everyone for breakfast.
“Are you good?” Ryan asked. They all wore jeans and t-shirts with blazers
over them. Vuyo was dressed in her makoti attire. A dark blue dress, a scarf
around her waist and a doek matching her dress was wrapped around her
head, leaving her hair loose at the back.
“Yep.”
“Are you ready for the day?” Vuyo asked.
“As well as I could be.” I tried to smile.
“Whose ass do I have to kick today?” Ryan asked, and I cracked a
genuine smile. “I’ll do it, just say the word. I don’t know why I can’t be
part of the negotiations,” he huffed.
“You didn't go to the mountain, baby.” Lubabalo patted his hand.
“It’s not my fault they circumcised me in hospital.”
“We'll stay outside the car two houses away. Then when it’s over,
you’ll get a chance to go in, Ry,” Lusanda said.
Just as we finished the breakfast, the two uncles walked in. One was
introduced as Ta Mxo, and he seemed to know everyone except for Ryan
and me.
“So, this is her?” he asked as he stood before me.
“Yes Malume,” Lusanda responded.
“Hayi you have a great choice Mtshana. Mhle.” I could feel my face
heating. “Good to meet you, Makoti. Is Lusanda treating you well?” he took
my hand in his.
“Yes Malume, he is.” He beamed with pride.
“I taught him well.” He let go of my hand and I greeted the other
uncle, who was more reserved. The uncles refused breakfast saying they
already ate on the plane, then we were off.
Lusanda dropped us off at the gate, while he and Ryan remained in
the car. I took a deep breath and looked at the house that had been a place of
torture for many years. It now looked worn down. The grass in the yard
looked like it had been done that morning, even then it was a rushed job.
Was is it only months since I had seen the place? Vuyo and I walked
around to the kitchen while the men waited by the gate, I could see
someone was peeping through the curtains. I knocked once, and we walked
in. In the absence of their slave, the house inside was as much of a mess as
the outside. The pungent smell of mould and whatever else that had rotten
in that kitchen filled the air.
“Ingane yomfowethu,” My aunt burst through the kitchen like a tornado. “I
was so worried about you. You don’t even call us to let us know how you
are!” I took a step back as she came for a hug, Vuyo discreetly intercepted
her.
“Lady you don’t know me like that. I prefer my personal space,”
Vuyo said, a smile pasted on her face. My aunt backed off.
She let out a nervous smile. “Welcome back, my child, we’ve
missed you.” I stood there wondering what alternate universe I had been
thrust into. “You don’t have to do anything. I asked the ladies from our
neighbourhood to come and cook. They are at the back now, cooking the
meat. But everything is ready. You can just wait in your room,” she said.
“You mean my shack at the back No, thank you, we will wait
outside.” Her eyes blinked rapidly.
“Not a shack! Inside. You can wait in Zinhle’s room; they went to
buy some drinks. I’m sure they will be happy to see you.” I only shook my
head and led Vuyo towards the bedroom just as my uncle was coming out.
We stood facing each other while my skin crawled.
“Sanibonani,” Vuyo responded with one word. His eyes darted away, and
he hurried out.
 “I’m not sure about sitting on this bed,” Vuyo said, eyeing the bed
carefully. The room smelled funky, but we had nowhere else to go.
“You and me both. Let’s find chairs.” We found two plastic chairs in
the kitchen.
“What's with the pretence of these people. It’s sickening. I just
wanted to claw at your aunt's face when she was talking.”
“I think they can smell the money coming now they want to pretend
to be good to me.”
“I don’t know why we even paying them for damages. If it were up
to me, we wouldn’t.” Apparently, the son of a king had to set an example.
Not paying the damages would mock a specific culture.
“Agh, it’s only once off and that’s the only money they’ll ever get in my
name. Believe me, they won’t even know what they did with it.” While we
were busy chatting, my cousins came in.
“Sanibonani,” Thabile greeted as she sat on the bed.
“Who is brave enough to impregnate you, mara Ndoni? Aren’t they scared
of these dark kids y’all will have?” Zinhle sneered.
“Heyi wena nopatazana.” Vuyo glared at her. “Your problem is that they
lied to you so much that you believed it. Sit your scrawny ass down or get
out. No one cares for your fucked-up opinion.” They both got on their feet
and left the room, taking their destructive energy with them. “They make
my blood boil. How could people be so cruel and just think it’s normal?”
“They took it from my aunt. They grew up thinking it was normal to
torment me. Had she reprimanded them when they were young, they
wouldn't have continued. But she encouraged it and helped them along.”
“They were envious of you. Your beauty and your brains.” I wish I
had known that as a child. Once you were told how ugly you were more
than once, the mind believed that. “She could see the crown of glory in you
and she wanted to squash you until you were nothing like them. But God
would never allow that. You will always shine Ndoni,” she said fiercely, her
eyes blazing with passion as she held my hand tighter.
“I’m glad you are here with me.” I smiled at her.
“I wouldn’t be anywhere else.”
A while later my aunt brought us cookies and juice, which we put on the
side and ignored. I wasn’t about to eat anything they offered. We heard
people calling by the gate for the Jiyanes. I guess it was time the Ngcobo
representatives arrived. They didn’t keep them long at the gate a few
minutes later I heard Uncle Mxo speaking as they walked in.

OceanofPDF.com
 Sneaky bastard

A tmytheuncle
last moment, I decided that I would join the negotiations. I watched
as he called the clan name and wondered if they would keep
us waiting. Apparently, they were as eager to begin as we were. It was
probably for different reasons, however, the man whom I recognised as the
uncle, Mandla, from the last time I was here, came over and asked for
imvula mlomo. Ta Mxo handed him a few notes and a bottle of brandy.
He seemed to be satisfied as he opened the gate and allowed us
through. He introduced himself to my uncle. My anger simmered beneath
my skin as his eyes darted my way. If he knew what was good for him, he
wouldn’t be trying to make eye contact with me. He led us to the house, and
we immediately walked through to the lounge area.
We found the aunt who could do with a proper bra sitting on the
sofa. She got up when we came in and shook our hands with such
eagerness; I thought my arm would fall off. We all took a seat at various
places in the small living room. I remained in the background. I was only
there to observe.
“I’m not sure if this is proper, but in my culture, we don’t discuss
such things as these with women,” Ta Mxo said as respectfully as he could
muster. “Would it be possible Magolwane to ask your wife to excuse us?”
The uncle looked at the wife who looked back at him with a defiant look
and I knew then who wore the pants in the house.
“Maybe we should come back when you’ve organised your house
properly,” my uncle suggested as we all made to stand.
“That won’t be necessary,” she interjected as she sprung to her feet.
“Would you be kind to state the reason for your visit,” the other
uncle asked.
 “Well, our son here,” Ta Mxo waved in my direction, “plucked a
flower prematurely from your garden.” I nearly burst out in laughter.
“Would you please be more specific about the flower you are talking
about as we have three in our garden,” Magolwane responded.
“The one whose beauty exceeds all others,” Ta Mxo puffed like a
peacock.
“Maybe we should call them, and you identify the flower you are
talking about,” one of the Jiyane men said. I gritted my teeth, realising that
we could go around in circles the whole damn day. He got up and went to
get them. He returned a few seconds later followed by Ndoni and her
cousins who sat on the floor, heads bowed. My heart swelled as I watched
how she glowed as she sat between the two.
The graceful way her neck curved as she bowed her head.
“Would you be so kind and identify the flower you seek?” Mandla
asked, then Ta Mxo pointed at Ndoni, her eyes framed by her long lashes as
she looked down. “Ndoni, do you recognise and know these people?” She
looked up and her eyes met mine. I winked at her and she smiled. My heart
stalled.
“Yes, I do,” she said dropping her head, I felt myself thicken inside my
pants. I told my errant dick to settle down and tried to think of something,
anything, that would take my mind off how gorgeous and tempting Ndoni
looked. Maybe we could play the submissive game in the future. They were
then dismissed, and the negotiations began with the payment for damages.
When we announced that we were also there to pay Lobola, I could see the
uncle’s tongue wagging at the thought of more money. The lobola
negotiation was something that I sneaked in. I hadn’t even asked Ndoni to
marry me, and I didn’t want her to have to go back to that place ever again.
Lubabalo and Luxolo had argued against that, telling me that Ndoni would
feel betrayed. I was willing to take that chance if it meant sparing her the
torture of returning to that place.
The Jiyane family was greedy as they went back and forth justifying
the exorbitant amount they were charging. I could’ve reminded them they
had never contributed to Ndoni’s well-being; they had robbed her of her
inheritance. However, I bit my tongue and let the negotiations continue.
Once we had concluded everything, we placed the stack of cash on the table
and counted. Then signed a document recording the proceedings. We
refused their offer of food and only requested they release Ndoni with us.
“How did it go?” Ryan asked the moment we stepped out of the
yard. Lubabalo had remained in the car with him once he realised, I wanted
to join the negotiations.
“She is officially ours,” Ta Mxo beamed; I nudged his ribs before he
went further.
“How about you get me out of here,” Ndoni whispered next to me.
“I would love to.” I planted a soft kiss on her lips and said a silent
prayer that she’d forgive me when she found out what I’d done.
The following day I woke up early while Ndoni slept. The drive back from
Vryheid must have taken a toll on her. After a quick shower, I went up to
my office. I sat there and thought back to the day that Melokuhle forced
herself on me. Something had been bothering me about how it all happened.
She drugged me. Melo was not the most resourceful person I know, so she
must have had help from someone. I felt sorry for whoever dared to drug
me and think they could get away with it. That’s when the thought came to
me.
I took her phone and traced her last dialled numbers. One number
was recent and had been called several times that day. I pulled up telephone
records and matched them with the FICA documents uploaded on the
network’s system and traced the owner. It was some guy who lived in a
dodgy part of Durban.
I ran his ID number, names, and all registered addresses on my
databases. He went to the same university as Melo, got in trouble several
times with the law for drug possession. That’s where she must have gotten
the drugs from. This could be a hot lead straight to where Melo could be
hiding. I called Terror, gave him an address and a name, then told him to get
that person and bring them to the interrogation house.
As soon as I hung up on Terror, Lubabalo walked in followed by
Luxolo. They looked like two men on a mission. And for the hundredth
time, I thought it was time they returned to their homes.
“We’ve known each other for a long time.” Luxolo didn’t beat
around the bush. He stood leaning against the wall while Lubabalo pulled a
chair and sat facing me. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, knowing shit
was about to get real.
“I don’t understand why we say we are family if we can’t help to
carry each other's burdens. When you told us who you really were the other
day, it hurt me. It hurt that you never trusted us enough to confide in us. We
would’ve gone to the grave with your secrets, you know this, or you should.
I love you as a brother that I never had. Both of you. I feel my life is always
open to you both. I guess we aren't the same. I let it slide because you’ve
always been closed off. You don’t talk about your emotions. I've come to
realise that it’s not even about us. It’s just how you are.
“But Lusanda right now, you are being an example of what society
does to a man. A man shouldn't cry. To me, that is just bullshit. What
happens when you bottle up those emotions? You’ll break and the people
around you will suffer. Being vulnerable and open about your emotions is
not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of great inner strength. I know you are
capable of that. You’ve been there for us. Carrying our burdens when we
couldn’t. Knocking some sense into us when we were acting dumb.
“So here we are today. We might not use unconventional methods as
you do, but we are here. We are open and we want to help. We knew from
the moment you walked through that door on Friday that something terrible
had happened. Something that had dimmed the fire that is always blazing in
your eyes. You may not realise this, but your spirit is always light and
carefree. And it is reflected in your eyes. That light has dimmed the past
few days. Talk to us, my brother.” His pleading eyes tore at me.
Fuck! A lump clogged my throat. The mother fucker just knew how
to pull at the heartstrings. He’d used all the emotional blackmail shit he
could think of. His gaze didn’t waver as he held mine, challenging me to
deny what he had just said.
“Just to add, we have the entire day,” Lubabalo said, his arm folded
on his chest. They waited; eyes glued on me. I needed a drink. I got up,
poured us double shots and passed to them even at that time of the day. I
drank mine in one gulp. The amber liquid flowed through my system and
helped to uncoil the tight muscles from the inside out.
I didn’t know why it was difficult to speak about it. I mean, I had
endured so much torture in my life. Shouldn’t that be easy? I couldn’t even
express how I felt. One tangible feeling was anger. I was angry at myself
for putting myself in that situation. Had I not been sleeping in the same
room with her, maybe this wouldn’t have happened. Maybe if I hadn’t
played a hero and tried to save the world, this wouldn’t have happened.
Since when was I this emotional mess! Fuck!
“Lusanda, look at me,” Luxolo demanded. I exhaled and looked at
him. “Let it out.” How?
“Melokuhle drugged me and forced herself on me.” They both
stared at me, unblinking. I wondered if maybe I had spoken in my head.
“Uthi kutheni?” Lubabalo eventually asked. Was he making me repeat this?
I took another huge breath. I realised then that they were not even aware
that I wasn’t sleeping with my so-called wife.
“Melokuhle and I are not legally married. Well, she doesn’t know
that. I hacked through the home affairs system and deleted all traces of the
marriage and then retrieved the actual file and destroyed it. We are not
married; it never happened. I didn’t tell her that though. I was working on a
plan and in the same process trying to free us from the arrangement. Since
we got married, she has been trying to sleep with me.
When Ndoni and I finally declared our feelings for each other it was
a definite end of that marriage. I couldn’t even touch her. She came onto me
a few times and I declined her advances. I didn’t know she was in love with
me, or so she thought. I told her I was in love with Ndoni and nothing
would ever change that.
“Anyway, Thursday morning I woke up with breakfast served in
bed. I ate and the next thing my body was just unresponsive. I couldn't
move. That's when I realised that she drugged me. She stripped, got me all
hard and helped herself,” I hurried through, trying hard to control my
breathing. “I’m not sure what went through my mind at that time. I had no
power. I felt helpless. I watched her as she fucked herself on me like I was a
toy, feeling my body betray me when I came.” My anger resurfaced,
crackling under my skin like water on hot oil. “The violation that I felt is
unexplainable. She finished her thing, cleaned me up and took her bags and
left. Just like that. Still, I couldn’t move. I felt like I was stuck in a
nightmare. And do you know the fucked-up part? She was a fucking
virgin!”
“Fuck dude.” Lubabalo got on his feet with hands locked behind his
head. “The bitch! I’m going to kill her! What the Fuck! How can she do
that? Are you okay? What the fuck am I asking? Of course, you are not
okay!” he paused and looked at me. Luxolo only stared, blinking at me non-
stop.
“I’m fine,” I lied. They seemed like they needed assurance.
“No, you are not fine. She violated you!” Lubabalo strode towards
me and held me tight in his arms while mine lay on the sides unresponsive.
I felt Luxolo joining in, then I heard a few sniffs and pulled away. I didn’t
want a pity party! I needed to feel whole.
“Rha! Inesibindi lentombazana. Uziqhaqhisa nge rape! Upholile apha
entloko kodwa! This woman is brave. She breaks her virginity by raping
someone. Is she ok upstairs?” Luxolo asked, and I held the laugh that
threatened to slip out. “Thank fuck you’re not actually married to her. Does
Ndoni know?” I shook my head.
“Why not?” Lubabalo asked. “You can’t keep something like this
from her.”
“I was just so ashamed. I couldn’t bring myself to tell her. Plus, look
at you two. You are a mess. Imagine when I tell her and with her blood
pressure problems. How is she going to take it? I don’t want to put her
health in danger. Melokuhle has done enough damage, I wouldn’t want her
to cause any further damage.”
“She might resurface later and tell Ndoni and that could do more
damage coming from her. Lusanda, I know the works of devious women!
This could be another Namhla and need I tell you I almost lost everything
dear to me because of that!” Luxolo said in a panicked tone.
“I know. But what if I tell her and then she doesn’t take it well?”
“Don't underestimate her strength. She is one strong lady.” I
understood where Luxolo came from, but I just couldn’t take that chance.
“She is strong because she feels that no one can cause her any more
pain than she has already felt. It’s a protective mechanism for her not to be
hurt again. But I don’t know how she will handle someone hurting me. She
is too selfless to worry about herself, but when it comes to me, I’m not so
sure.”
“You might have a point,” Lubabalo concurred. “I still think you
need to tell her before the bitch does. Who knows what she is plotting as we
speak?” I agreed about her plotting. In fact, I was almost convinced that she
was working with her father.
“Have you found her?” Luxolo asked.
“Not yet, but I might have a lead. I have Terror looking into it.”
 “Alright,” Lubabalo said. “Let’s wait on that and see if you can’t
find her first. Then tell Ndoni when you have all the facts.”
“Even if you don’t find her. I still think you should tell her. She will
be fine,” Luxolo argued.
“What if she isn’t? I’m not willing to take that chance. Let her have
the baby, then I’ll tell her.” Christ! I suddenly had so many secrets. They
were suffocating!
“Did you get tested?” Luxolo asked.
“I was going this morning.”
“Let’s go then,” Lubabalo said, already walking out the door. “I’ll
call Des to arrange it.” He made the call as we followed him down the
stairs.
“You’ll be okay, right?” Luxolo asked, his voice low.
“I feel lighter already.” That wasn’t a lie. Talking about it made a
difference. I could breathe. They drove me to Memorial Hospital and stayed
with me as I went through the different tests. Des advised I used condoms
until I had been cleared for at least three months.
“Fuck Ndoda! How are you going to explain condoms with Ndoni?” Luxolo
asked as soon as we stepped out of the hospital. That had been the question
plaguing my mind since Des mentioned it.
“Maybe you can abstain,” Lubabalo suggested.
“For three months! Uphambene!” I scowled at him.
“Just giving you an option,” he shrugged.
“I’ll see how I explain the condoms.” Just then my phone rang.
Terror’s name flashed on the screen and my heart rate picked up.
“Sure.”
“I found him. And I was in luck. She was hiding at his crib.”
“Bring her here.”
“We are already here. I took the jet. We are at the safe house.”
“I’m on my way.” I hung up.
“Did they find her?” Lubabalo asked, and I nodded.
“We are coming with you,” Luxolo said.
“You might not want to be around for this,” I said while Luxolo
unlocked the car.
“That’s exactly why we are coming. So you don’t do anything
stupid,” Lubabalo said, sliding in the passenger seat.
 “Lux, I’ll drive.” He threw the keys at me and got in at the back. We
arrived at the safe house and I led them to the basement. The house looked
normal on the outside, but the inside was another world. The basement was
the interrogation room with many torture tools. I hardly used it. I dealt with
computers, not people, only when I had to.
Terror and Lungsta were in their element when it came to dealing
with people. They could make anyone sing like a canary. Lubabalo and
Luxolo were right behind me. These two were falling deeper into my world,
and I didn’t like that one bit. We found her sitting on the couch with her feet
tucked under her and a small blanket wrapped around her shoulders. She
looked up when she heard us come in, jumped to her feet, and ran towards
me. My gut coiled.
“Lusanda! Thank God you are here! I was so terrified.”
“Do not fucking touch me!” I said, my voice menacing, and she
stopped dead in her tracks. “How could you Melokuhle?” She flinched,
even though I had spoken softly. I slowly strode towards her and she
walked backwards until the wall was against her back. She looked like a
cornered rabbit then. I caged her in, and my hand went around her neck. So
tiny, I could easily snap with a squeeze of my fingers. I watched her eyes
clouding with fear as they darted between mine.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, grabbing my arm. I squeezed around her
neck and lifted her, her feet dangling in the air. I felt my anger rising and
tightened some more. Her hands clawed at my arm, eyes going wide as she
struggled to breathe. I didn’t miss the smell of urine that emanated from her.
“Sands, Let go!” I heard Luxolo’s urgent tone. I couldn’t! I watched
as her eyes rolled to the back of her head, colour draining from her face.
“Lusanda!” Luxolo’s desperate plea infiltrated my mind, and I dropped her.
She fell into a heap on the floor. Lubabalo and Luxolo were pulling me
back. She wasn’t dead. I didn’t want her dead, not yet anyway.
“I know you are angry, but this is not how you deal with this,”
Luxolo said, his hand at the back of my neck as he made me look at him in
the eye. I nodded. He let go. We sat in silence and waited for her to come to.
When she did, I crouched in front of her. I grabbed her jaw with one hand
and made her look at me.
“You are sorry.” She flinched, turning her head to the side. I brought
it back. “Is sorry going to change what you’ve done? Is sorry going to make
me feel any less powerless as I did when you drugged and raped me!” She
closed her eyes tight. “Don’t fucking tell me you are sorry! I should just kill
you right now and bury your body where no one will find you!” I stood.
Luxolo and Lubabalo were standing there silently watching me. I called
Des and arranged for another private testing. Poor guy was too good of a
friend, he didn’t ask too many questions.
“Get up, Melokuhle. Let’s go to the hospital.” She got up and
followed me out the door with Luxolo and Lubabalo following behind. We
all drove back to the hospital in silence. We arrived at the hospital and went
to Des’s office, again who took the blood samples and urine sample from
her, then personally took the samples to the lab. Once he left, I asked the
guys to excuse us.
“Don’t do anything stupid, Sanda,” Lubabalo warned. I nodded, he
squeezed my shoulder, and they both left, closing the door behind them. I
turned and looked at Melokuhle, who was looking down on the floor. I sat
opposite to her.
“Why did you do it?”
“I’m sorry Lusanda.” She looked at her hands folded in her lap.
“Melokuhle I don’t need your sorry. Don’t piss me off. I want to
know why you thought it was ok to take me against my will. Make me
understand!” I gritted. Remaining calm was a futile exercise.
“I’ve always loved you and that is no secret. I thought with this
marriage I would finally get my wish of being with you and then when it
happened you already had someone else. She was expecting your child, and
I also wanted to be connected to you that way. I was jealous that she could
give you a child before I could.
I thought if I could give you one, you’d love me the same way you
did her. But then you didn’t even want to touch me. You rejected me at
every turn. Then one night it just came to me. I didn’t even think hard about
it; I just made it happen. I know saying I’m sorry won't change what I’ve
done. I was just desperate for your love and I thought that was the only way.
I know it was wrong and I’m not sure how and why I did what I did. I can’t
imagine how you feel. Please forgive me.”
I wanted to believe all of that, but my gut told me there was more.
There had to be a bigger motivation than my love. I watched her twisting
her fingers with tears streaming down her face. I didn’t want to question her
about her father. That would alert her I was on to them. I went to the door
and found Des with the guys standing outside his office. She had a clean
bill of health, pregnancy not detected yet, but it was too early to tell. Des
recommended that we return in two weeks for another pregnancy test. I
returned her to the safe house where she would remain until the pregnancy
test. I also needed her father to believe we were still married.
On our way back to the penthouse, I received a call from Duma
asking me to meet up with him. I told him to meet me in the penthouse.
However, I asked Lubabalo and Luxolo to take Ndoni as well as Vuyo,
Ryan and the kids out of sight. I needed to be careful until I knew what my
brother was up to.
“You just interrupted my afternoon. I hope this will be worth it.” He
smirked walking through the penthouse. A briefcase in hand.
“Hello to you too little brother. Nice digs you’ve got.” I followed
him to the living area and watched as he sat sprawled on the couch as if he
owned the place. “Aren’t you going to offer me a drink?” I glared at him
and remained standing. He shrugged and opened his briefcase, taking out
two files. He threw them on the table and sat back.
“What's this?” I sat opposite him, eyeing him suspiciously.
“Open them.”
I opened the first file. It was the file he had on me.
“That’s the original file. No copies.” There was nothing much on the
file, no incriminating evidence. Then there were a few recent pictures of the
supposed assassinated man.
“He isn’t dead?”
“Very alive, no one was supposed to know that, part of a bigger plot
by his government. It didn’t even have anything to do with you, but I
needed the leverage against you. I fabricated and twisted a few truths.”
Fucking bastard! “It was always easy and fun to torture you. You always
took things seriously. I had to get father’s attention. What better way to do it
than threatening to expose his favourite son?”
“And you needed to be eligible for The Kingdom again.” It wasn’t a
question. I knew Duma wanted the power. I went to pour us drinks. “Why
do you think I was his favourite?” I asked, passing a glass to him.
“Come on, don’t play coy. The moment you came, he focused his
attention on you. Spent more time with you. You had family trips with him
and your mother. We never had a lot of those. I had to trick him when I was
your age to spend time with him, but with you he just did it.” He took a sip
of his drink. Funny that I had my own issues with Father. Those trips were
far and few in between and they eventually stopped. I also wondered up
until the supposed assassination, I’d looked up to Duma, loved him for
always protecting me when we were at the army camps.
“Have you ever spoken to Father about how you feel?” He
chuckled.
“What’s the point? It will not change anything. You know, there was
this guy that used to work for him. He was the one who oversaw my
initiation and training. I started mine younger than you were when you
started. It was torture. I think that’s what messed me up more than anything.
It’s something I’m struggling to get over even now. For you, you only
experienced that child soldier thing once. I had to live there for years. I
don’t even think my father was aware of how much cruelty I was exposed
to. He was too busy with his favourite son. Anyway, I didn’t come here for
that. Look at the second file.” A memory of me holding a gun with shaking
hands as bodies lay in front of me flashed in my eyes. I slightly shook my
head to ward off the unwanted memory. I picked up the file and flipped it
open.
“How do you know all this?”
“Crawling with the lowest scum can be quite useful at times.” He
took another sip of his drink.
“Why are you giving me this?”
“This information is not out there. It requires a person to get their
hands dirty. With your ways,” he waved his hand at me, “it would take you
forever. I thought I should help you speed up the process. It might help you
put the missing pieces together. You probably know more than you let on,
but this, I know for sure you don’t have hold of it yet, because you’d have
acted.” His eyes dared me to deny it.
“I’ll ask you again. Why are you doing this?”
“I can’t be a King of a collapsed Kingdom now, can I?” He rolled
his eyes. “Believe it or not, I love The Kingdom, my home and family. I
know I’ve screwed up multiple times, but I want the same things as you.
I’ve dedicated my entire life to serving my father and The Kingdom.” I had
to concede he had a point.
“Come with me.” I picked up the files and led him to my office.
“Damn brother! This is the shit!” He sounded really impressed as he
looked around my office.
 “Take a seat.” He took off his jacket and sat next to me. I pressed a
button under my desk and a shelf from the wall, that no one could tell was
there, slid open. He whistled. I picked up two folders while switching on
my computer and several screens lighting up.
“This is some futuristic shit right here. I knew you were smart, but
this here, my mind is blown.”
“Pay attention! Look at this here, it’s an underground lab in Chile
and over here,” I pointed on another live screen on my computer. “It’s
another one in Austria. Two places no one would think of.”
“The one I brought is in SA,” he nodded.
“Right, it’s a triad. The trigger home base here. We get control of
that home base before we destroy everything.”
“Who is in charge of the home base, because no one knows even
with my contacts?” he asked, frowning. I hesitated to share my suspicions.
“Come on, you still don’t trust me?” I sighed.
“Gumede.” His eyes widened.
“Melokuhle’s father?” I nodded. “The threat is closer to home than
we thought!” He frowned at me. “Do you think she is involved?”
“I think so, I’m not sure.” He stood and paced.
“Lusanda, if he suspects that you know, he will retaliate faster than
we could stop him.”
He was right. What we discovered was a systematic plot to destroy
and control the population in two ways. Firstly, sterilisation, if there is no
birth the certain population will eventually die. Secondly, a spread of
manmade diseases. That would eradicate the vulnerable. Only targeting
certain demographics, the poor of the poorer. Twelve Kingdoms and in six
of them, plans had been implemented. The only one that could swing a vote
was the African Kingdom, and if my suspicions were correct, Gumede was
the candidate to take over. His daughter marries me, produces an heir in my
name then my entire family is eliminated leaving the Gumede family with a
legitimate claim on The Kingdom.
“Were you able to find the two viruses?” he asked. I shook my head.
“The Chile and Austria bases are for emergency shutdown. The
samples are kept at the South African base and testing has been conducted
from there over the years.”
“What’s the plan?” he asked, poised for action.
 “We infiltrate all three facilities at the same time, extract the viruses
and destroy the labs while getting rid of the mad scientists. They all live in
these bases. Then after, with this information, we get rid of the corrupt
leaders.”
“That will take some planning, I’m in.” Fucking hell.

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 Unravelling
woke to a piercing scream from Lusanda and immediately got off the bed
I to switch the side lamp on. He thrashed from side to side, drenched in
sweat. My concern grew because that had been happening a lot lately.
“Baby.” I tentatively moved closer and slightly shook his shoulder.
No change, he kept mumbling words I didn’t understand, but whatever had
him gripped wasn’t pleasant. “Lusanda!” His eyes flew open, then darted
around the room frantically as if searching for something, his chest heaving.
“Baby.” I hoped he was awake, but I had to be wary of getting closer to
him.
“Fuck!” He dug his knuckles in his closed eyes “How long?” he
asked, his voice hoarse.
“Not long.” I sat next to him and took his hand in mine.
“Did I hurt you?”
“No, you didn’t. Baby, are you okay?” A flicker of pain crossed in
his eyes.
“I’ll be back.” He got off the bed and went to the bathroom. A few
minutes later I heard the shower running. I quickly changed the sheets into
clean ones and the moment I finished straightening the bed, he returned
with a towel wrapped around his waist.
“I’m worried baby. You haven’t had these dreams in a while now,
they seem to be constant,” I said getting under the covers. He dropped the
towel and put on his shorts. It didn’t escape me that he had been avoiding
touching me lately. I sat up, leaning against the headboard as I watched him
ease under the covers.
“I feel like I’m back to my childhood all over again,” he sighed, and
I took his hand in mine. I kept quiet and listened with dread, knowing
whatever he was about to tell me wasn’t good.
“Going back home and dealing with my brother has brought up a lot
of things, I would’ve preferred to be left buried. When we young my father
placed us in the care of a general who trained royal boys to become men
that could withstand anything. We had to be trained to fight, kill, and
defend. Also, we had to overcome a lot of fears and be able to survive or
not crumble under torture.” He shifted, pressing the pads of his fingers on
his forehead.
“The general made us go to army camps. I remember at ten learning
how to hold a gun and learning to shoot. That shit is fucking scary to a
child. I went from having a normal childhood with my mom and uncle to
moving to the palace. Then one day, they carted me off to some foreign
country to join my brother for training. When the training began, I thought
it would only be for a week and then I’d return home to my mother.
When it became clear that wouldn’t happen, I begged my brother to
take me home. He tried to tell me occasionally to man up, not show my
fear. ‘Stop whining and attracting attention to yourself’ he’d say. We ran
every day, barefoot until the soles of our feet bled. Trained in the scorching
heat until we collapsed from hunger or fatigue. I would fail at most of these
and my brother would offer to take my punishment most times until his
body couldn’t take it. They would make me watch, whisper in my ear how I
was responsible for someone lashing his back until his skin peeled or
someone sodomising him with a broom handle. All my fault because I was
weak, pathetic and still I couldn’t stop crying.” My skin went cold, and I
sidled closer to him. “One day they sent us to this rebel camp somewhere in
the North. They had child soldiers my age who were already killing
people.” I felt his body shiver.
“One night they woke me up in the middle of the night and gave me
a loaded gun. I was told that we were going to the village for an ambush.
My brother was with us. At that time, he was a leader of some sort and he
was sixteen. When we arrived there, they started shooting at anything that
moved. I watched them rape women and children. At some point, they
forced my brother to rape a child who couldn’t have been older than me,
and if he didn’t, they threatened to shoot me. It was the most horrific sight
I’d ever seen.” Eyes distant, he continued, each of his words heavier than
the previous. I tightened my hold on his hand, which felt ice cold.
“Baby, you don’t have to tell me anymore.” My voice came out
thick. He shook his head and his haunted eyes clashed with mine.
“I want to.” I nodded my head. He cleared his throat. “Once they
were done with raiding the entire village, they lined up all the survivors,
which were women and children, mostly. One leader gave me a gun and
instructed me to pull the trigger, I refused. My knees shook and the gun in
my hand wobbled. I couldn’t fucking do it” The room was eerily silent. I
couldn’t breathe as I listened to Lusanda’s flat tone. I wanted to hold him
and make him stop. I could see the pain in his eyes and a wave of
overprotectiveness consumed me, but I had to give him space to share his
pain.
“My brother came over to me and held me in one place as he pulled
a trigger with my finger on it and killed about two kids, I watched in horror
as life slipped out of them and them collapsing onto the ground. Christ
Ndoni they were even younger than me, their pleading eyes before they
succumbed to death haunts me until today. I fought off my brother until the
captain took his gun and killed them all and then they burnt the remains of
the village. It was gruesome. The smell of burning flesh took a while to
leave my senses. They ridiculed me throughout that camp, calling me all
sorts of names and how much of a pussy and coward I was. The boy who
peed and puked instead of pulling the trigger.
“I swore from that day that as soon as I could be rid of my family, I
would want nothing to do with them ever again. But the kids’ cries still
pierce my dreams, I still see their haunted eyes begging for mercy, a child
clinging to its mother, lifeless bodies piled on top of each other.” His body
shuddered as a shiver went through mine. “I recently learned my father
didn’t know we were in such camps. Had been told that we were at a proper
camp learning how to fight with weapons. ” He looked up then, his
glistening eyes searching mine.
“No child should have to go through that. I’m sorry you had to
experience that.” I pulled his rigid body in my arms and held him tight until
he returned the embrace and I felt the tension ease from his body.
“There is more to tell you,” he whispered against my ear. “I’m
afraid to, you won’t look at me the same.” The tone of his voice sent a dart
of fear down my spine.
“Nothing you tell me will ever change the way I feel about you.
Trust me, please.” He took another shuddering breath while his arms
tightened around me.
“Melokuhle raped me.” My body ran cold, and my heart leapt to my
throat. Did I hear him correctly? I tried to pull back from the embrace to
look at him, but he resisted. His body trembled, or was it mine?
 “Baby,” I whispered. “Let me look at you.” His head shook on my
shoulder. “I got you, I won’t let you go. Tell me.” I tried to pull back again,
and he let me. I kept his hands in mine. When I met his gaze, my heart
shattered into pieces at the anguish that I could see in his eyes. His jaw
clenched tight and his shoulders rigid with tension. “Talk to me, baby.”
“We were not intimate, and I refused to sleep with her because I
knew I was working on a way out. Last week, she woke up one morning
and brought me a tray of food. It was after I ate that I realised that she had
drugged me. She had her way with me against my will.” Hands shook, I
wasn’t sure if it was his or mine.
I felt a cramp zipping through my lower abdomen, and I feared I
might hurt the baby, but so much rage and pain on his behalf seized me. I
felt his hand pull out of my grasp and cup the side of my face. Only then I
realised that tears were falling.
“I’m going to kill her!’ My voice broke and my lips wobbled. “How
can she do that to you? Oh, baby!” I threw my arms around him and held
him. I hoped I could ease the pain I saw in his eyes, the hurt and the
humiliation of it all. “You didn’t deserve that, no one did. Are you okay?’ I
asked in a broken voice against his ear.
“Yeah.” We clung to each other’s arms for a while. Absorbing each
other’s warmth.
“Where is she?” I asked after a while.
“In a safe house. Waiting on pregnancy results before deciding what
to do with her.”
“You need to report her to the police baby. She violated you and she
can’t get away with that,” I said looking in his eyes.
“A husband raped by his wife. How will that look?”
“She had no right! Consent applies to everyone.”
“I’m dealing with it.” My eyes widened. I didn’t want him to take
the law into his hands as much as I wasn’t sure if given a chance I wouldn’t.
“I suspect she is part of a bigger conspiracy. It works to my advantage to
have her out of sight. She won’t get away with what she did, baby, I
promise.” We held each other, both lost in our misery. I couldn’t imagine
what he was going through, and I felt helpless. I silently prayed for his
mental strength. He needed to speak to a professional, but it wasn’t the time
to broach the subject.
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 Extraction
haring the ordeal with Ndoni helped to lessen some of my burdens a
S little. She kept hinting for me to seek professional help, but I wasn’t sure
how talking to a stranger would help. Besides, I had more pressing
matters to attend to and lying flat on my back in some fancy office spewing
my guts wasn’t one of them. We had a mission to pull through. Duma and I
were waiting for a word for Lungsta and Terror to reach their destinations.
Once they arrived in their locations, we would be ready to move into
our location. The mission was clear, get in, extract the two weapons, and
destroy the rest. We had the element of surprise on our side. Since I
gathered the information undetected, they had no clue we were on to them.
The moment we destroyed their labs though, they would know; plans had
been put in place to eliminate the corrupt leaders. Duma and I flew down to
Durban, then drove to our location.
“Are you sure this is the place?” Duma asked as I steered the car
into the quiet street. The buildings along the street looked like old factories
that had been deserted for years. This area was generally notorious for
illegally occupied buildings, their owners having fled to other countries.
“This place is used for many underground dealings.” Duma let out a
grunt. I drove around the targeted building a few times and there was no
sign of movement. Then I pulled the car over the pavement down the street
and parked. The building looked like any other building on the street, with
broken windows and peeling paint. We knew though that it was just a front.
The basement of the building was a state-of-the-art laboratory with all
manner of experiments taking place. My surveillance intel had shown me
the kind of inhumane and gruesome experiments that took place there. I saw
that the people experimented on were beyond saving. Killing them would
be an act of kindness.
From our position, we could see the cars that drove out from the
undercover parking, which according to my intel was a few staff that
worked there and mostly the security. At night there were a few guards and
only the two psycho scientists that were developing the viruses. We waited
until sunset and the dim streetlights came on, we then walked along the
dark fence towards the building.
“Are you ready?” I asked Duma the moment we snuck inside the
building and hid behind the stairs that would lead to the basement. That was
the only entrance, and it was guarded.
“Yeah.” He checked his watch and then engaged.
“You meet me back here in fifteen minutes Duma, no heroics! We
get in, extract and leave.”
“Isn’t this nice, the two of us working together?” I glared at him and
he grinned, putting his goggles that would allow him to see his targets
through the darkness, and I did the same. I worked on a watch with the
same software as my computer. With one press of a button, the entire city
had a blackout, another press of a button on our goggles gave us an
unobstructed view. As expected, the security by the entrance panicked and
rushed to check the floor above. The silencers were effective to use as we
eliminated them without alerting the others.
We gained access to the basement. I unlocked the doors using a pre-
coded card. While Duma dealt with the men guarding the place, I went in
search of the virus. They were stored in a glass shaped cooler which I
already knew was surrounded by electronic beams, that used a backup
battery. I quickly worked on my computer and the security system was
turned off. I extracted one cylinder, careful not to drop it.
“Lusanda watch out!” I jerked back in time to see a flash of light
behind me. I crouched low on instinct and the guy that had just swung at me
missed. One quick sweep with my leg had him landing on his back. I
lunged at him smashing his head. I pulled out the gun and shot at him,
making sure. I placed the cylinder inside the customised case and went for
the second one.
Before I could extract it, I had another brave security guard to fight.
They were smart enough not to shoot from a distance, which meant they
were aware of the deadly impact that could erupt if one of those cylinders
got shot at. He had to use a flashlight to see while I had the advantage of the
goggles. He swung at me and I swiftly evaded and allowed him another
swing, he missed a multiple of times. When one landed, I jammed it with
my hand then twisted, the sound of his breaking arm satisfying. My arm
locked around his neck and I watched him fight for a second before I
snapped his neck, letting his body drop to the floor. I returned to securing
the second cylinder into the case.
“Duma! We need to go.” I turned to find him killing everything in
his path. He is an excellent shot and never misses his mark Once the
package was secured, I went for the exit and he met me at the bottom of the
stairs and I looked behind him, someone aimed a gun at his back, I took a
shot dropping him on the floor. He covered my back while I covered his as
we went up the stairs. We couldn’t destroy the virus in the building without
risking contaminating the entire city. I had a scientist that could destroy it
and make sure it would never be used or recreated again. At least, I hoped.
“Fuck that was exciting!” Duma exclaimed as we stepped out of the
building, as we removed our goggles.
“Only you could be excited about killing people.” We ran towards
our parked car.
“They would’ve killed a lot of innocent people without batting an
eyelash.” I couldn’t argue with that. We drove away until we were at a safe
distance, and then I gave the signal to Lungsta and Terror. When they
responded, at the press of the button, three different buildings at different
locations went up in flames. A few minutes later we were on the helicopter
back to Johannesburg as we declared the mission a success.
I arrived back in the penthouse early hours of the morning, my body
still buzzing with the adrenaline from earlier. After taking a long shower, I
went to bed and pulled a sleeping Ndoni in my arms.
Aloud noise coming from downstairs woke me from my deep
slumber. When I swept my arms on the side of my bed, I found it empty. I
was still tired, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep. I wore my
sweatpants and t-shirt and went in search of my woman.
“Where is your soon-to-be husband?” I was half-way down the
stairs when my father’s voice carried. My heart leapt to my throat, and I
sprinted down the stairs.
“Cha Baba, he is not a husband yet.” I could hear Ndoni’s shy response.
What were my parents doing here? Most importantly, why had uncle Mxo
told them about the lobola?
“Just formalities Makoti, we have paid the lobola which means you are
technically married.” I walked in just then to find Ndoni standing before my
parents with a confused look on her face. Her eyes darted to mine and I
could see them pleading for me to clarify.
“Father, Mama, what a surprise.” They both turned to face me. “I
didn’t know you were coming.” I pasted a smile on my face as I moved to
stand next to Ndoni. They were still standing in the hallway, two
bodyguards by the elevator.
“Ah well, we thought we would come and congratulate you in
person. At least you did the right thing, My Son. But paying lobola without
telling me I’m not happy about that.” I felt Ndoni’s body tense next to me.
“I guess you’ve already met,” I said.
“Yes, we have. She is beautiful, My Son.” My mother said smiling
at Ndoni who tried hard to return the smile. The stiff set of her shoulders
told me she was only being polite for my parent’s sake.
“It’s good to see you, make yourselves at home. Excuse us for a few
minutes.”
“Son, we have somewhere we need to be,” My father intercepted.
“You two must come and join us for lunch.”
“Yes, we will,” I nodded.
“It was a pleasure meeting you Your Highnesses.” Ndoni bowed her
head awkwardly as I took her hand leading her back to our bedroom. The
moment the doors closed, she whirled around a fire blazing in her eyes.
“What was that about Lusanda? Don’t tell me it’s about the
damages, guilt is written all over your face! What did you do?”
“I can explain.” She gave one sharp look, and I felt my throat
drying.
“Is it true? Did you pay Lobola for me instead of damages?” she
sounded too calm as a shiver zipped through my spine.
“Yes.” No point denying.
“Why?” Her nostrils flared, but she remained calm.
“I love you. I want to marry you, and I want us all to be a family. I
saw how torn up you were about going back to your home, and I didn’t
want you to have to go through it again.”
“How are you going to marry me when you are already married? Or
you’ve decided on polygamist marriage for me as well?” She lifted her chin
with her hand on her hip.
“I’m not legally married to Melokuhle. That marriage was never
processed.” Her eyebrow lifted. “I tampered with the marriage papers and I
deleted all traces of the marriage ever happening. So legally I’m not
married. I just needed to keep up the appearances that I was married,
because a lot depended on this marriage to go through. I’d only keep up the
appearances until I was done with the investigation that I am busy with.
Then afterwards I only had to send Melokuhle back home.”
“I’m still waiting for the part where you thought marrying me
without my consent was a great idea.” Her eyes were bright as she folded
her arms on her chest.
“I knew you wouldn’t want to go back home Ndoni and go through
the process all over again. And I also know I want to marry you,” I
reiterated. Had she missed the part where I said I did this to protect her? Or
that I wanted to marry her?
“I didn’t want to go back for the damages, but I went, and I didn’t
fall apart. I would’ve gone back if I needed to do so. I have lived all my life
deciding for myself. Whether good or bad. I knew I would have to deal with
the consequences. You found me independent. Working for myself, putting
myself through school. I might have been struggling like half the citizens in
this country, I was doing it. You swooped in with your money.” She threw
her hands in the air. “Decided where I stayed. Where to live and when to do
it. What is the one thing I asked of you Lusanda after that kidnapping
saga?” I kept quiet and swallowed a huge lump that had permanently taken
occupancy in my throat.
“You told me to never make decisions that concerned you without
consulting you, no matter the consequences. Even if I thought I was
protecting you. I should always involve and allow you to make your own
mistakes or be part of the decision making,” I recited her words, like a ten-
year-old, while my insides turned and knotted as fear travelled through my
veins.
“I also promised if you ever do what you did, I will leave you, didn’t
I?” Her voice caught in her throat.
“Yes, you did.”
“Did you think I was bluffing?”
“No, but...”
“You thought you were protecting me, right?” I could feel irritation
prickle. I didn’t like to be questioned, and I felt my defences rising and yet I
was on a slippery slope.
“Yes. That’s what I did,” I gritted.
 “Lusanda, did it ever occur to you that I never wanted to get
married?” My heart dropped heavily to my stomach.
“You would settle for cohabiting? I mean, we already live together. I
take care of you and my baby. Why can't we make it official?” I knew it
was a wrong thing to say the moment those cursed words left my mouth.
Her eyes shuttered and then blazed again with renewed anger.
“Your baby and you taking care of me? Do you even hear yourself?
Are those the reasons to get married? I never asked you to take care of me!
I never wanted to be pregnant. Now you make it sound as if I trapped you to
marry me!” Her words stabbed me at every syllable.
“Don’t remind me about you not wanting this baby!” She gasped. I
wanted to choke on my words. The word diarrhoea didn’t seem to stop. She
sneered.
“We are done!”
“What do you mean we are done?” I could feel panic surging
through me.
“It means I am done with you Lusanda. I am not your charity case
and I will not live like one. I have a brain and my own mind, but you don’t
seem to respect that. I will not have you making plans or decisions for me.
That’s controlling me. You are controlling. Yes, you say it’s for my good,
how far will you go with your control? You think because you have the
money you know better than me, is that it?” I searched my brain for an
appropriate answer, but it wouldn’t come. “Your project is over, I’m
leaving.” She began dragging suitcases out of her closet and threw clothes
in.
“Where the hell are you going to go?” She dropped her suitcase and
grabbed her handbag.
“Anywhere but here! I’ll be back for my things!” She stormed out,
leaving me in the middle of the room, bewildered. What the fuck just
happened! I ran after her and caught up with her as she pressed the button
on the elevator.
“You can’t leave me over this, baby, come on!’
“Watch me!’ The elevator slid open, and she went in.
“Over my dead body!” My stupid mouth wouldn’t quit.
“That can be organised!” she spat. Then the doors shut, I was left
standing choking in fear. I couldn’t lose her. I would die a miserable life
without her. I threw myself on the couch and tried to think. A while later my
phone rang with an unidentified number.
“You have some things that belong to me, my daughter and
weapons. You’ll be interested to know what I have in exchange.” An icy
shiver trickled down my spine as the hairs stood at the back of my neck.
The moment he hung up an image of a frightened Ndoni being pulled out of
a cab, came through, my hands slightly shook as I ran towards my office
calling Duma.
With Lungsta and Terror still out of the country, he was the only one
who could help. I, at least, had an advantage over Gumede. I had a tracking
chip planted on Ndoni a while back. I wouldn’t give him any time to
prepare.

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 The rescue
lay on the muddy ground and feared to open my eyes. I could hear faint
I voices from a distance, but I wasn’t sure if anyone was watching me. My
head pounded behind my temples, probably from whatever drug they
used on me. I prayed whatever they gave me wouldn’t affect the baby, that
is, if I would make it out of there alive. My hands were tied behind my back
with whatever they used biting on my skin, my legs were also bound
together at the ankles. The putrid smell of a sewage drain filled my nostrils,
and I had to swallow the vomit that had risen to my throat. Where was I and
why had I been taken? Stupid question, it probably had to do with Lusanda.
The longer I kept my eyes closed, the more my panic rose at the
scenarios my brain conjured up. I tried to listen for any movements and
footsteps and when I couldn’t detect any nearby, well except for my
thudding heartbeat which I feared would alert the captors of my
consciousness. I cracked my eyes and slowly moved my gaze around. There
was only one guard by the door with a big gun. The room I was in was bare,
peeling paint on the walls and wet floor. Was it the water from the sewerage
I lay on? I fought another gag.
I slowly turned without alerting my watchdog and found that only
one door led to another room. However, there was a wide glass window that
separated the room. This could’ve been an old office building by the looks
of it. I could see an older man from the other side barking orders to a few
buff and heavily armed men around him. Who were these people and what
did they want from Lusanda? A big rat crawling past me gave such a fright
that I couldn’t help the gasp that escaped.
“Boss, she is awake!” my watchdog yelled.
“Bring her here,” the older man from the other side demanded.
Watchdog came, cut the bindings on my feet, and yanked my arm so hard, I
thought it would break. He didn’t care that I wasn’t steady on my feet as he
dragged me to the other room and threw me on the hard-wooden chair. I
nearly fell off it. The room had old office furniture all around. The older
man stalked towards me as if I was his prey.
“You better pray that your boyfriend, arrives in the next two hours
with what is mine or I’ll be chopping pieces of you and delivering them to
him one by one.” He trailed a finger against my face while I cringed,
trembling with fear. I prayed that Lusanda would find us, even though a
little voice told me there was no way we would get out of there alive.
I watched them making plans of their escape while the older man,
seemingly the leader, kept barking orders. They had their backs to me,
engrossed in whatever they were doing. I looked up and saw two figures
hanging by the window, all dressed in black. One put a finger against his
lips to silence me. I looked away, not wanting to give them away. In a few
seconds, windows shattered, and the figures rolled on the floor, guns
blazing.
I watched as my captors scrambled to action and returned fire, but
the two men were no match. They were quick and accurate while they held
the old desks for protection. I could hear more gunfire outside the door as
my body trembled at the sight before me. Suddenly there was cold steel
pressed against my temple.
“Ngcobo, I’m warning you! Cease fire and come out or she is
dead!” the man roared, holding my hair so tight I thought he would remove
my scalp. Lusanda walked through the door with Melokuhle as a shield,
gun pressed at the back of her head. The other two men stood; guns pointed
at the three men that remained standing.
“Let her go Gumede, or your daughter dies,” Lusanda growled. The
gun against my temple pressed harder. I watched as Melokuhle’s body
shook in fear plastered against Lusanda. The hatred I had towards her
multiplied at that moment. When I thought of the pain she’d put Lusanda
through, she deserved the kind of father she had. I couldn’t master any pity
for her. In fact, I wished I could be free to wring her little neck.
“You dare to destroy my plans and you threaten me with my child!”
Gumede tightened his grip on my hair and I let out a painful whimper.
Something flickered in Lusanda’s eyes while Melokuhle’s eyes widened in
disbelief. In the corner of my eye, I saw Gumede suddenly swing his gun
and shoot at his daughter! “I will kill you all!” he roared.
I closed my eyes but not before seeing Melo’s body crumple to the
floor and Lusanda pointing the gun in my direction, waiting for the shot that
never came. Instead, the grip on my hair fell away as gunshots sounded all
around the room until there was dead silence. I couldn’t open my eyes. I
was terrified at the sight I would see. Then gentle but urgent hands were on
my back, untying me.
“My Pearl, open your eyes, you are safe now baby.” A choked cry
escaped my lips as I opened my eyes to find Lusanda frantically cutting at
my bindings. He looked up at me and smiled. “I hope you have forgiven my
idiotic behaviour after all this.” I laughed as tears streamed down my face.
Once my hands were free, I threw my arms around his neck and held him
tight. The feeling of being in his arms again and the relief that he was alive
had me elated. At that moment, I’d forgive him for anything.
“I’m so happy to see you. Can we talk about the forgiveness part
when we get home?”
“Home, you say?” he gave me an unrepentant grin. I nodded my
head. He smacked his lips against mine and kissed me until my toes curled.
“Lusanda, we have to go. The clean-up crew has arrived,” someone
said.
“Are you okay baby, are you hurt anywhere?” he asked, concern
etched on his face. I nodded my head again, speech seeming to have
abandoned me for a moment. He scooped me up in his arms and walked
towards the exit. “Close your eyes baby, don’t look on the floor,” he said,
his voice hoarse. I hid my head at the crook of his neck, but as he carried
me down the stairs, I couldn’t help but look and my body shook at the trail
of bodies we walked past.
I remembered our first meeting when he’d told me he killed people.
I guess he hadn’t been bluffing. A shiver ran through me. “I told you to
close your eyes,” he growled. I shut them tight and didn’t look, until he was
sliding in at the back of a tinted car.
“Ndoni this is my brother Dumisani.” He indicated towards the guy
that got into the driver’s side. Duma turned to face me.
“So, you are the woman that has been driving my brother crazy.” He
said with a grin like Lusanda’s.
“Nice to meet you, Duma. Thank you for coming to my rescue.” I
shook his hand, and he held on to me a while longer, his eyes slowly
skimming over my face.
“Get your hands off her and drive you fucker,” Lusanda glared at
him. He let out another smirk before starting the engine and speeding off. I
sat on Lusanda’s lap with my head burrowed on his hard chest as he held
me to him.
“For the sake of full disclosure; you have a bug planted on you.” He
said in a hesitant tone.
I took a huge sigh, “Of course you do.”
“I’ll take it out as soon as we get home.”
We were silent for a while. “Keep it on just in case.” His arms
tightened around me.
Duma didn’t come in with us, claiming he’d seen enough of his
brother to last him a lifetime while Lusanda claimed to feel the same. He
held me close to him as we rode the elevator to the penthouse in silence. I
smelled of sewage and all other substances that were in that building. And I
couldn’t get the images of those dead bodies out of my head.
“I need a shower,” I said as we stepped out of the elevator.
“Can I join you?” his eyes looked at mine pleading. I just needed a
little time to myself. His hand tugged me to a stop. “Are you alright baby?”
I nodded my head. He slowly released my hand, and I went to shower. My
hands shook as I adjusted the shower tap to the right temperature. I stood
under the showerhead as the warm water sluiced over my head.
When I thought about how close I came to dying, I felt tears spring
to my eyes and then when I recalled watching Lusanda as he’d walked into
that room with Melokuhle as a shield, had my knees buckling. I slid onto
the floor with my knees drawn to my chest and let the tears flow. I didn’t
look up when I heard the shower door open or when solid arms pulled me
up and wrapped around me. The arms where I felt safest, even though my
mind argued against that. My heart sang with joy. I clung to him and
listened to his soothing voice as he whispered sweet nothings. When I could
only let out hiccups, he let go, turned off the water and helped me out of the
shower. He towelled me dry while I stood like a statue.
Once I was dry, he took off his sodden clothes, he’d changed into
sweatpants and a vest. He quickly towelled himself, then took my hand and
led me to bed. I watched him climb on the bed and leave the covers open
for me, I crawled on the bed and sidled next to him, his naked body drawing
mine in like a magnet. His arm came around me as he held me close.
“Baby, I know what I did was wrong,” he began intertwining his
fingers with mine, our joint hands laid on my tummy. “I have no excuse for
it. I don’t take you or what you’ve given me for granted. I’m new to this
love thing and I know I’m fucking it up. I just don’t want to lose you.” His
eyes clashed with mine, the uncertainty in his tugged at my heart.
“I don’t want you deciding for me, Lusanda. Can you respect that?”
“I can and I will.” His grip on me tightened. “You are the only person in my
life whom I’ve felt loves me for me, well you and my friends of course, but
that’s different,” he swallowed. “I would lay my life for you, baby. I love
you, My Pearl. With everything in me. Please forgive me.”
“Of course, I forgive you, baby. I am also new at this love thing. We
will both learn together. I know I can be stubborn, and I’ll work on that. I
love that you want to take care of me, it makes me feel special.” I cupped
his face. “I love you.” A tear escaped his eye, and I placed my lips against
his.
“I love you,” he growled. “So damn much.” Then his lips were
devouring mine, his hands digging into my scalp. I clung to him and
savoured his taste, the urgency of his seeking tongue.
“I need you,” I murmured, climbing on him as my hand found his
hardened member while his skilled fingers found my heated core. I was
desperate for him. I sank my weight on him in one swift move and we both
let out loud groans. He held me to him as I rode him, his lips locked on
mine while our breaths mingled.
“Fuck, you feel incredible.” Our tongues slid against each other as
we found our rhythm. When he flipped me over my body lit up like a bush
fire as he pounded into me as a man possessed. The repeated pressure on
my nub drove me to the edge, I felt my toes curls and dug my heels on the
mattress surrendering to the oblivion. My orgasm crashed through me,
leaving me gasping for air. I felt his body go rigid above as he jerked inside
me. The whisper of my name against my ear had me clenching hard against
him. Our breaths came in sharp, hard pants as we clung to each other, riding
the aftermath of our climax. “I love you.”
“I love you.” In his arms, I’d found a home.

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 After Dawn
woke up and listened to the quiet sound of his breathing as the
I background to the serenity I felt from within. It had been a long time if
ever had I felt such inner peace. I kept my eyes closed for a little while
and basked in it. His presence next to me became a soothing balm. He had
a therapy session to attend in two hours that I’d practically dragged him to.
He was reluctant at first but the past few weeks I’d Seen progress.
He slept better, and the nightmares were far and few in between and on
occasionally when he had them, they weren’t as violent as before. I also had
to see a therapist for a few sessions after the kidnapping ordeal. I was
fortunate that I didn’t suffer any lasting scars from that.
“You are staring again, baby,” I said with my eyes still closed when
I could feel his on me.
“I love watching you sleep, My Pearl.” My eyes opened, and I felt
the familiar warmth that always settled at the centre of my chest every time
he looked at me. Whatever I did to deserve him, I needed to keep doing.
“Good morning.” I leaned towards him and he met me halfway,
capturing my lips in a sensual kiss. “I have to get up,” I said, even though I
made no move to.
“Do you want me to run you a bath?” He ran his fingers on the side
of my face. His touch was always scorching.
“A bath would be perfect, I’m deliciously sore.” His grin grew wide.
“Well, I wouldn’t want you going to work feeling sore now, would
I.” I smiled, and he gave me another quick kiss before he slid off the bed to
run a bath. I sighed with contentment. I never knew life could be this good.
After the threat had been somewhat eliminated from our lives, I started to
see the relaxed Lusanda. He was chilled. Goofy and loved having fun, and
he made it his mission to show me a good time. So, weekend getaways to
the beach had become a norm.
 Random dates to restaurants, movies, or even picnics were our
thing. Spending time with his friends was another thing we enjoyed. I loved
spending time with him and getting to know him. All the little things that
made him who he is. I loved it, even more, when he watched and hung onto
every word I said as I shared my dreams with him.
Things I wanted to accomplish for myself. He encouraged me and
pointed me to the right direction. Also, he annoyed me half to death
sometimes. My awkward dance moves drove him to fits of laughter and he
teased me mercilessly.
I had begun my internship at Bhengu Inc. a month ago. It was
something that I loved, and it kept me busy. With the way things were, I
was even considering working full-time and studying part-time. I love that
Gcobani seemed to love my work genuinely, not just because of the
connections I had. He went further to prove this by using my designs and
placing me in charge of a pro-bono project.
“Your bath is ready, sleepy head.” I could feel his breath fan my face
as he hovered above me. I couldn’t help but smile at him as I allowed my
eyes to open.
“I'm too lazy to move.” I hooked my arms around his neck and
brought him down on top of me. He was careful not to squash my belly.
Then a sudden kick had him jerking up and laying on his side.
“Wow, that was a big one,” he said, his voice full of excitement as
he removed the covers to look at my tummy. I loved how his entire being
transformed at the thought of our baby. The man was already whipped, and
she wasn’t even here yet. “Oh, fuck, baby. Is that her foot?” I looked down
and yes, it was the outline of her foot. Also, what seemed like the head was
bulging from the other side. It was weird, and yet it amazed me at the same
time to see all the changes and movements that happened in my body. I felt
his hand stroking the outline of the foot and it disappeared, then stuck out
again. He continued to do that until the baby stopped her movements.
“Okay, I think you’ve tired her out, she is probably sleeping,” I said
laying back on my pillow.
“I love watching that and I can’t wait to meet her.” He had his head
resting on my belly. We had been planning for the arrival of the baby for a
while now. He had the room next to us converted into a nursery with a
connecting door to our room.
 “Well soon, just under two months. I feel like I have been pregnant
forever and I can’t stand the heat anymore.” He got up and reached for my
hand, helping me get off the bed.
“Are you ready for the weekend? Any last-minute shopping we need
to do?” We had a charity event that we were hosting over the weekend and
with Vuyo and Luxolo away on their second honeymoon, I was kind of
thrust into the hostess position.
“I’ll have to go again for my dress fitting tomorrow.”
“Isn’t that cutting it close? The function is tomorrow night.” He
helped me get into the water-filled tub and I sighed as I sank into the warm
water. Then he knelt beside the tub and began scrubbing my back.
“Thando isn’t worried. Besides, what if I’d grown an inch
overnight?”
“You aren’t that big baby. It’s just your bump, and it looks sexy as
hell.”
“You are just saying that because you love me.”
“Yes, and because it’s the truth. Feel here.” He grabbed my hand and
placed it on his growing bulge. “That’s what you do to me.” I squeezed a
little. Feeling his need in my core. I’d become insatiable as my pregnancy
grew. I couldn’t seem to get enough of him, and he didn’t mind indulging
each of my needs.
A while later I was sitting at the dining room table enjoying
breakfast that Lusanda's live-in chef prepared. Once the threat of security
had been removed, I’d seen how the wealthy lived. When he'd said I didn’t
have to lift a finger to do anything, that wasn’t an exaggeration. The chef
prepared all our meals, some cleaners came every day, and I had a driver I
used to get everywhere but he still preferred to drive me around himself.
These people worked so well that they were never in our faces, and I
appreciated that very much. I wasn’t used to having people doing things for
me, so I got in their way by offering to help.
“What are you doing today?” I asked Lusanda. He’d been relaxing a
lot lately. Taking a much-needed break, in my opinion. What the man went
through the past years, he deserved a lifetime of chilling and sunbathing by
the pool.
“After my therapy session. I have to consult with one bank. They
need a security upgrade.”
 “Are the sessions helping?” He took a sip of his coffee and smiled
before answering.
“I sleep better, and I don’t have to think constantly about my
torment as I did before. Now I feel more at peace. I can close my eyes and
just be.” I took his hand in mine as tears stung my eyes. He seemed
genuinely happy. Free.
“I love you,” I said. He brought my hand to his lips and placed a soft
kiss on my palm.
“I love you, My Pearl. With you, I feel whole.” My heart danced.
“I feel whole too. You’ve made me happier in these past months
more than I’ve ever been in my entire life.” He leaned towards me and
planted a soft kiss on my lips.
“Before we get carried away,” he pulled away leaving me wanting
more, “we need to get you to work or you’ll be late.” That brought me to
my senses. I didn’t want to take advantage of my relationship with Gcobani.
I made sure I was always on time and did my work to the best of my
ability. I must admit that I also wanted to impress him, and it was rewarding
to see the pride in his eyes every time I completed a task. I almost felt sad
that I’d be taking time off for maternity leave, but he assured me that my
position at Bhengu Inc. would be waiting. Lusanda dropped me off and
walked me into the building as he did every morning, then he was off to his
appointment.
Just as I sat at the office that I shared with four other interns; my
desk phone rang.
“Good morning Ndoni.”
“Hi, Gcobani.” He had made me stop calling him Mr Bhengu-
Mthimkhulu a while back.
“Please come through to my office for a sec.”
“I’ll be there.” I hung up and went to his office. I always knocked
and waited to be invited in, even though he was expecting me. His husband
was a frequent visitor in the building and once I’d walked in on them
locked in a passionate kiss that had left me blushing for hours.
“Come in.” He waved me over and gestured to a seat. “I love these.”
He waved over my sketches spread out on his desk. “They are absolutely
brilliant!” he exclaimed. My chest puffed with pride under his praise.
“Thank you,” I said through my big smile.
 “You are going to be an asset here Ndoni I can tell. Your way of
thinking and doing things is unique, and yet it fits right in with my vision.”
“I’m honoured that you feel that way about my work.” My voice
broke. I always dreamt of becoming big, but I never thought it would
happen.
“I’m the one honoured to be the one who has discovered your talent.
You are going places with this.” He handed me a tissue from his desk, and I
wiped the tears that were freely flowing down my face.
“I never thought I’d hear my hero saying those words to me. It
means a lot,” I said once I felt calmer.
“Don’t mention it.” He shifted uncomfortably from all the praise.
“Listen, at the charity event tomorrow, you’ll be meeting with Ms Langa
Mahola, the one we will use the designs for. I’d suggest we arrange a
meeting for you guys to have a sit-down and go over these. Use the chance
tomorrow to study her, see what she likes. Sort of getting to know her a
little. That way you’ll have more insight. I’d like to approve on these before
your maternity leaves begins.”
“Absolutely. I’ll make sure she sits at our table.” As his phone rang,
I took that as my cue to leave. I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face as I
returned to my office. I immediately called to share my news with Lusanda,
who was just as excited for me. The day flew unnoticed afterwards until it
was time to go home. I found Lusanda waiting for me by the reception area,
chatting with Gcobani. He never failed to take my breath away every time I
saw him. I always had to pinch myself that he was all mine. His head turned
towards me as I approached, and his lips broke into a wide grin. My heart
stalled for a second. He had his arms opened the moment I reached him,
and I wrapped myself around him.
“Hey baby,” he whispered above my head. “You had a great day, I
see. Your boss is treating you well.” Gcobani’s chuckle had me pulling
away from the embrace.
“I had a great day, love.”
“It’s my time to go,” Gcobani said shaking Lusanda’s hand. “I’ll see
you tomorrow at the gala.” He strode off, leaving me to gaze at my man’s
eyes like a lovesick puppy.
“How about I take you out to celebrate?” he asked, taking my
messenger bag and handbag.
 “Maybe we should stay in. Celebrate in another way.” I wiggled my
eyes at him and his darkened at the promise of a private celebration.
“I can’t say no to that.” He led me towards his car parked up front. I
didn’t feel the drive home as my head was already bombarded with images
of us tangled between the sheets.
I spent the following morning at the venue where the charity event
would be held. I was happy that Sis Dudu’s orphanage was one of the
organisations that would benefit from the proceeds of the event. I wasn’t
sure of my input, but the two event organisers that were planning all this
made my input feel valuable. It also helped that I had Ryan and Luxolo’s
mother helping. I’d been welcome into Lusanda’s circle and felt as loved.
My opinion mattered to them and I was consulted just like they did with
Lusanda. I was only nervous about officially meeting his parents over
Christmas. Last time I saw them I didn’t think I made a great impression,
but they had their son to blame for that. Inviting them for Christmas was
Lusanda’s way of extending an olive branch. He was still hurt by what his
parents did to him, but he also felt that he needed to mend things with them.
I supported that, I could tell that they love him, they might not have been
the best parents, but they weren’t the worst. We had our baby to think about
in all this. She could benefit from the love of doting grandparents.
“Everything seems in order here,” Ryan said after we’d made
rearrangements with the seating. I looked around, satisfied by what I saw.
Mam’ Nosipho was still busy with the caterers.
“I am just excited to be a part of this.”
“Then next year you’ll be the one heading the project.” He chuckled
when my eyes bulged out.
“By myself? I don’t think so, Ry.”
“I mean you and Lusanda. We are supposed to take turns organising
as couples. This year it was supposed to be Luxolo and Vuyo.”
“Then they can do it next year. I’m not much of an organiser Ry.”
He patted my shoulder.
“Don’t stress babes. I’m pulling your leg.” I rolled my eyes at that.
“Is your dress ready?”
“Yeah, I’m actually waiting for Lusanda to take me to Thando’s
studio for the final fitting.”
“Cutting it close. You are lucky you are friends with the designer.”
He looked over my shoulder. “Your man is here.” He gestured towards the
entrance. I spun around and my heart fluttered when I spotted him. He was
more formal this time in black and white buttoned-up shirt, the collar left
open and sleeves to the elbows. “You two are too much!” I could barely
hear Ryan next to me. My eyes were drinking in the sight before me.
“My Pearl.” He came and pulled me in his arms, planted a kiss on
the side of my neck.
“Hey, baby.”
“I’m right here, you know,” Ryan said next to us.
“Aah, Blue feeling neglected. Come, kiss me.” Lusanda went for
him.
“Oh, fuck off.” Ryan sidestepped his attempt for a kiss. I couldn’t
help but laugh. “I’m leaving; I have a lunch date,” he said kissing me on the
cheek then flipped Lusanda off.
“Let’s go fetch your dress baby.” He laced our fingers together and
led me to his car.
Later in the evening, I stood in front of the long mirror inside the
walk-in closet. My side of the closet had filled remarkably over the last
month and I’m not ashamed to say I’d become a shopaholic. It didn’t help
that Lusanda was always as enthusiastic about my shopping sprees as I’d
become, if not more.
The person looking back at me took my breath away. I wore a dusky
gold dress that moulded my baby bump and a slit that came to just below
my hip. The dress had a bit of a trail, making me look like a mermaid. My
afro had grown the past months and looked healthier than it ever did; I had
it styled in an up-do and left my neck bare. I wore diamond earrings that
Lusanda had bought me and nothing else.
“Damn. You look breath-taking baby.” Lusanda came in the view
behind me. His hands running down my belly from behind. He wore a
checkered grey suit that hugged his tall frame in all the right places with a
white shirt and no tie.
“Thank you, love. You look good too.” I turned to face him,
smoothing my hands over his jacket.
“We have to go, or we’ll be late. Are you wearing heels?” he
frowned, looking down at me.
“Yes. I have to show off my sexy leg in this dress.” He rolled his
eyes.
 “Let me get your comfortable shoes to take with.” He knew me too
well. I only needed to wear the heels for the grand entrance and afterwards,
they’d be coming off.
My nerves got the better of me as our driver parked in front of the
entrance to the venue. It differed greatly from what it had looked like during
the day. The entrance was crowded with journalist and photographers and I
felt my hand slightly shake. Ryan had said I needed to walk up front and
answer a few questions about the event but seeing all that had me rethink
the entire plan.
“Are you ready?” Lusanda asked, grabbing my hand.
“I don’t think so. Is there no way of getting in without all that?”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. I’m not really into public speaking, baby.” I could feel my
stomach rolling at the prospect. I also knew that Lusanda preferred to stay
off the radar.
“We can do the speaking later with one of the established journalists
for a picture and an interview, if that would be better.” I nodded my head in
assent. He instructed the driver to drop us off in the underground parking.
My relief was palpable. We found the gang already seated at our table. The
only people who were absent were Luxolo and Vuyo. Once I was settled
Lusanda went to greet and mingle with a few people that he knew. A few
minutes later he returned followed by his old friend that he’d reconnected
with recently, Sakhile Gabada, who had a gorgeous lady on his arm.
Lusanda leaned down and kissed me like he hadn’t seen me in a while
instead of just a few minutes.
“Baby, do you remember Sakhi?” he asked, pulling away from my
lips. I looked over his shoulder and smiled at Sakhile. “That’s his fiancé,
Langa.” I stood and shook her hand. She looked familiar, but I couldn’t
place where I’d seen her. Once the introductions were made, I realised she
was the lady that I would design a dance school for. It didn’t hurt that she
was kind and friendly and our spirits just connected. I liked her a lot, and
she seemed to feel the same way. We made plans to meet for lunch in the
coming week.
“You were the belle at the ball this evening,” Lusanda said later that
night as he pulled my exhausted body against his, while we were in bed. “I
love watching you come alive as you speak to people about your work.”
There were a few minutes at the table where I had the attention of everyone
as they listened to what I had to say. Lusanda had been sitting next to me,
watching me in rapt attention.
“It feels good to have a circle of friends I can do that with,” I said in
a sleepy tone, holding his hands that were on my belly. He kissed me on my
shoulder.
“Goodnight My Pearl.”
“Goodnight My Love.” I drifted off into a blissful sleep.

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 The wedding
walked in, side by side with Luxolo and Lubabalo from our chalet to the
I wedding venue. The place had enough separate villas to accommodate
our family and friends. It was secluded, on a hill facing the beach. Ryan
was on the other side of the venue with the best man Gcobani.
The wedding party was scheduled to meet at the bottom of the stairs
that led to the garden venue. When we reached the stairs that were flanked
by flowers in different shades of white and green, no one else was there but
the wedding planner who ushered us up the stairs to take our space. As we
climbed the flight of stairs, it slowly revealed the makeshift stage, an arch
wrapped in a mixture of flowers and green leaves, hanging above.
On the last set of stairs, I saw the whole set up laid out on the
greenest lawn ever. The guests sat on white chairs, with their backs to us,
rows of chairs on either side of an aisle that had a spluttering of white rose
petals. The sea breeze blew in, providing much-needed cool air.
Luxolo was the first to walk through dressed in a light blue suit,
white shirt, and light blue bowtie, I followed him in a similar suit until we
reached the podium. Lubabalo came through dressed in a deep navy three-
piece suit, pristine white shirt, and a light blue bowtie. My gaze swept over
the entire set and my breath caught at the beauty of the place. The calm
ocean was the backdrop of the venue. Soon the sun would set, and the
sunset 1ouldd create the perfect ambience. Nature had obeyed and
conspired to make the day perfect.
I stood at the podium next to Luxolo, who was standing next to a
nervous and almost sweating Lubabalo. His gaze was glued to the stairs
where his groom would emerge, and I watched Vuyo walking in followed
by My Pearl. They walked through all dressed in light blue lady suits that
were tailored to fit their bodies, white bouquets in hand.
The guests remained seated in wait for the other groom to walk in.
My eyes swept over the rows of chairs and settled on the first few rows,
occupied by Ryan’s family, Luxolo’s family and my family. Our closest
friends, Bongani with his and Gcobani’s family, Des sitting next to two
members of Lubabalo’s family, Sibu with the other member being Langa,
Lubabalo’s newly discovered half-sister. I felt a pang of pain knowing that
even with all our interventions,
Lubabalo’s parents had refused to come and attend their only son’s
wedding. More than that, they still refused to acknowledge him because of
who he loved. Langa was the proof of the Reverend’s double standards. The
man had cheated on his wife, who already had two kids, with another
married woman, and yet he felt that he was the moral compass of his family
and congregation. Their loss though, because we were the family Lubabalo
needed, and we would never let him down.
As the best man to Ryan, Gcobani was the last of the procession to
rise from the stairs into the makeshift aisle dressed in the same suit as ours.
He briefly bent to kiss his husband, Bongani sitting by the aisle before
approaching the podium. When he took his place, the symphony version of
“Suited” blasted through as the band began to play. Ryan, who wore the
same outfit as Lubabalo, emerged from the stairs and walked up the green
lawn onto the aisle, with the wind blowing his blond hair. He had the
brightest smile on his face as the guests stood up. I watched Lubabalo’s
chest puff with pride and his face transform as if he had just swallowed the
sun. Their eyes were only for each other. No one could mistake that their
gazes held nothing but pure love. The music faded the moment they held
each other’s arms, and the officiator began the ceremony.
As they shared their heartfelt vows, my gaze locked with My Pearl.
She smiled and my heart lurched. I could never get over how beautiful she
is, and I thanked God every day that she was in my life. Her baby bump
reminded me of how fortunate I was. In just under a month I would become
a father. Wasn’t that something? ‘I love you’, I mouthed the words to her as
she responded the same. I could never tire of hearing her say those words to
me.
When we returned from taking pictures, they had converted the rows
of chairs to long seating tables for the reception dinner. Long candles
provided lights all around.
“Did I tell you how beautiful you look today?” I whispered in
Ndoni’s ear and I felt her body shiver. She turned to me with her eyes
bright.
 “Yes, you did.” She believed it. I could see it in her eyes. She had
finally come to realise for herself that she was beautiful.
“Tell me, are you still adamant that you won’t marry me?” Her eyes
danced with mischief as she leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on my
lips.
“Convince me.” A challenge. A thrill went through my body as I
deepened the kiss. Someone cleared their throat above me, and I found my
brother behind us looking constipated.
“A word,” he clipped. The guy could never relax. I excused myself
and followed him to a secluded corner.
“It’s a wedding Duma, not a funeral, it won’t hurt to loosen up a bit.
What kind of king are you going to be?” Once Gumede had been eliminated
some of his cronies showed up dead while others went into hiding. The
Twelve Kingdoms were safe for the time being and peace had been
restored. Duma’s help in bringing down the conspirators put him in a good
light with the kingdom, they restored him to his rightful place, a king in
waiting. I couldn’t be happier.
“Do you know who this is?” he showed me a file on his phone.
“Zizomila Mabhanga? She has a child with Sakhile Gabada.” I
looked over to where Sakhile sat with his fiancé, Langa. “What’s going
on?”
“I met her once on a flight. This here doesn’t look good for her. I
have to go. Not a word to Gabada about this.” I nodded my head and
watched him disappear into the shadows. I hoped he could handle whatever
sticky situation Ms Mabhanga had landed herself in. I wouldn’t be able to
get involved in that. I had a woman I needed to convince to marry me.
Dumisani Ngcobo, the king in waiting, the psychopath, had it covered.

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 Acknowledgements
I would like to thank my grandfather for instilling the culture of
reading in me from a very young age. I hope he is watching over me and
proud.
Thank you to my family for allowing me the time to do what I love.
Thank you to all my readers that buy and recommend my books, I
am truly humbled by your love.
To the Between The Covers Book Club family, thank you. You make me
feel like a genius. Keep up the hype.

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