IELTS Writing by Ms.

Luong – Class material

Below are separate pieces of texts taken from different argumentative essays. Identify problems in these texts
(ignore the grammatical and/or spelling mistakes).

1. The second supporting reason is that going to the movie theatre gives people the opportunity to contemplate
outstanding works of art. Movies shown in the cinema always astonish the audience with high techniques and
lively sounds. How boring would it be if you watch the Avengers series at home? Movie theatres equipped
with advanced sound systems and high-resolution screens provide you with more wonderful experiences to
the fullest.

2. However, people are switching to watching movies at home with some remarkable benefits. The first
evidence is the cheaper cost. People can be at home and choose the movies they are interested in through the
Internet. There are many platforms providing a large variety of movies (like Netflix or Pub, ect.) with
reasonable prices, and even some are free.

3. Firstly, the culture of idolizing famous people among young adults has a significant influence. Celebrities
often aim for a slender physique to wear fashionable clothes and meet the demands of their profession. As a
result, many teenagers aspire to emulate their favorite stars and crave a similar appearance.

4. For earning more revenues, movie industry makers are attempting to reduce the ticket price as well as the
competitiveness of different theaters which persuade people to go to their cinema among other leisure
activities.

5. The first rationale for that is the development of televisions and other content platforms is overwhelming that
of cinema industry. To be more specific, these device possesses more advantages that cinemas do not have
such as low prices, availability, diversification of movies.

6. The Internet is an ideal platform for fake news, disinformation and misinformation, because the users can
upload information anonymously without taking responsibility for their contents.

7. Living in an unhealthy environment could also cause children to suffer from depression and anxiety. In
contrast, children who are nurtured and loved would become well-behaved and obedient children.

8. I think that due to their significant historical values, the work of preserving these old structures should be
considered vital while at the same time believe they should not be an obstacle for the development.

9. Second, it contributes to the production of less expensive items. The scale of the market has shifted from a
local to an international scale, allowing companies to manufacture goods in large quantities with lower cost.
For example, Apple branch imports a great amount of electronic devices from several Asian countries with
less expensive prices, which can reduce the manufacturing cost for the company.

10. Moreover, without taxes or tariffs, price of imported goods will be much cheaper than any domestically-
produced equivalent because foreign companies produce on massive scales and use the latest technologies,
skills and managerial techniques.

THE END