[

10/
9,18:
23]‪+27730692704‬:
#101

Me:
"babeuzot
yant
oni
"?
Hi
m:"
erh.
..
let
'swai
tfort
hei
rmenu"

Li
bhongowal
kedt
owar
dsuswi
tht
womenus

Her
:"
goodaft
ernoon,
I
'm Li
bhongoandI
'
llbey
our
wai
tr
essfort
oday"
Me:
"ni
cet
oseey
ouagai
n"

Shefakedasmi
l
e..
.Nt
andol
ookedatmequi
zzi
cal
l
y
:vIl
ookedatmymenu.

Hi
m:"
ukhonauVeeLi
bo"
?
Her
:"
ewebhut
'"
Hi
m:"
cel
aundbi
zel
eyena"
Her
:"
okay
"

Shewal
kedbackt
owher
evershecamef
rom.

Hi
m:"
whatwast
hatabout
"?
Me:
"whatwaswhatabout
"?
Hi
m:"
youandLi
bhongo"
?
Me:
"Idon'
tknowwhaty
out
alki
ngabout
"

Vincentappear
ed.
..
oh,
ngul
oVeel
ona?Hecamet
o
ourtable

Hi
m:"
mol
weni
"
Us:
"hey
"
Hi
m:"
youl
ookgood.
..
unj
an"
?
Beast
:"
niy
azana"
?
Me:
"I
'm goodnt
wanay
oudon'
tl
ookbady
our
sel
f"
Him:
"I
'mtry
inghey.
..
unqabi
l
eqha.Icanseet
her
ear
e
somehighplacesy
ou'r
ebusywi
th"
Me:
"woul
dn'
tyoul
i
ket
oknow"
Webothsmi
l
edt
henhef
ocusedhi
sat
tent
ionback
t
oNtando
Hi
m:"
uthi
uLi
bouy
andbi
zaBhut
i"
Beast
:"
yeah.
..
canyouor
gani
zeusanot
herwai
tr
ess.
YamazuLibounjani
"
Hi
m:"
uhm.
..Tr
inaspeci
fi
cal
l
yrequest
edf
orher
"

Bandi
j
ongabobabi
ni

Beast
:"
why
"?
Me:
"Il
i
keher
"
Beast
:"
heh!Okayy
oucango,
butpl
z,
ndcel
ainy
ama
yet
huyoji
wenguweornguChl
oe"
Hi
m:"
yessi
r.
..Tee"
Me:
"ay
tman"
Hel
eft
..
.

Hi
m:"
baby
"
Me:
"mh"
?
Hi
m:"
nazanaphi
noVi
nce"
?
Me:
"her
e"

Wandi
j
onga.
..Li
bhongocamet
otakeouror
der

Her
:"
erhm.
..
canIt
akey
ouror
der
ssi
r"
?
Hi
m:"
what
stoday
'sspeci
al"
?
Her
:"
wehavetwo.
..Apapandwor
swit
habev
erage
ofy
ourchoi
ceORthecombofort
wo"
Hi
m:"
what
'si
nit
"?
Her:
"f
ourpi
ecesofpor
k,t
woboer
ewor
s,Gr
eeksal
ad
andsoda"
Hel
ookedatme.
.Iwasj
ustsi
zi
ngupt
hischi
ck:
v

Hi
m:"
whi
chonewet
aki
ng"
?
Me:
"t
hecombo"
Hi
m:"
thecomboi
tis.
..
bri
ngust
hesodasol
ong"
Her
:"
yessi
r"

Shel
eftwi
tht
hemenus.
..Ev
ecal
l
edme

Me:
"mamaBooboo"
Her
:"
hey
,wher
ear
eyou"
?
Me:
"I
'm out
"
Her
:"
outwher
e?Li
ket
hishousei
ssocr
eepy
"
Me:
"outonl
unchduh"
Her
:"
wheny
oucomi
ngbackt
hen"
?
Me:
"Idon'
tknow.
..Ij
ustar
ri
vedher
e"
Her
:"
yho"
Me:
"haha!Got
oLwando.
..
I'
l
lcal
lyouwhenI
'
m back"
Her
:"
hayIthi
nkImi
ghtdoj
ustt
hat
..
.orwai
twho'
son
l
unchwit
chu"?
Me:
"youdon'
twannaknow"
Shelaughed,
Ismi
l
ed,
baewaswat
chi
ngme.
..
lol
I
bl
ushed

Her
:"
greett
aBeastf
orme"
Me:
"whosai
dI'
m wi
thhi
m"?
Her
:"
webot
hknowy
ouar
e"
Me:
"mxm by
eby
e"

Shel
aughedandhungup.
.ourdr
inkwasal
readyher
e.

Me:
"yabul
i
sauEv
e"
Hi
m:"
she'
sback"
?
Me:
"yeah.
..
notsol
ongago"

Ipour
edagl
assformy
sel
f,
typi
ngandr
espondi
ngt
o
email
sonmyphone

Hi
m:"
babe"
Me:
"mh"
Hi
m:"
awkandi
phendul
i
"
Me:
"about
"
Hi
m:"you,
Vinceandt
hefactt
haty
ouspeci
fi
cal
l
y
r
equestedforLi
bo?Why
"?
Me:
"meandVi
ncear
efr
iends.
..
andmazkeuLi
bo"
Hi
m:"
thenwhyr
equesther
"
Me:
"cozshe'
sful
lofher
sel
f"
Hi
m:"
how"
Me:
"haykhandy
ekeke"
Shebroughtbackourfood,
het
hankedher
.
Kwangenamessageonmyphonef r
om Vi
nce:
How
doyouknowmybr ot
her?
Il
ookedatthemessageandl
ookedatNt
ando:
/
whi
chbrot
herishetal
ki
ngabout
?

Hi
m:"
babekhawbekeIphone"
Me:
'
ohsor
ry"

Iputmyphonei nsi
dethecl
utchsatyakeandmade
smallconvo.
..
Iwasreall
yenj
oyi
ngt hi
scompany.
Whenwewer edonewewai t
edjusttoseeagl
impse
ofanywaitersi
zobhat
alasi
hambebutnoone
appeared

Hi
m:"
lemmegoandpay
"
Me:
"sho"

Hehotupwahamba.
..
Libhongoappear
edf
rom
behi
ndmeandst oodri
ghti
nfrontofme,
Isi
ppedon
mydrinkpr
etendi
ngnottoseeher
Shecl
ear
edhert
hroat
,Il
ookedup

Her
:"
what
'sy
ourpr
obl
em wi
thme"
?
Me:
"Ihav
eone"
?
Her:
"f
ir
styoueatHereandl
eavewi
thoutpayi
ng,
now
youhavethener
vetoshowyourf
aceagain!What
ki
ndabitchar
eyou"?

Il
ookedatherndamhl
eka.
..
forr
eal
,
herat
ti
tude
amusedmesomuch.

Her
:"
what
'sf
unny
"?
Me:
"you.Youar
efunny
"
Her
:"bitchlookhere,
I
'm herehust
li
ngformy sel
f,
I
won'
tl etyourui
nthatformeandont opofthatyou
won'
ti nter
ferei
nmyr el
ationshi
pwithmy
boyf
riend,nomatterhowsmar tyouthinky
ouar e,
to
mey
ou'
l
lal
way
sbeast
inki
ngugl
ybi
tch"
Me:"
canyousmel
lthat
?It
sasewer
age.
..
comi
ng
st
rai
ghtf
rom y
ourmouth"
Her:
"nowyoureal
l
yfuckedup!Whot
hef
uckdoy
ou
t
hinkyouare"
Me:"honey,I
'mthatonebit
chy ourmommawar ned
youabout.Don'tyoudarerai
sey ourv
oiceat
me,don'tyoudarecallmeabi t
chbecausewhenI
becomebi tchyonya,y
ourLilasswon'tt
akeit
..
onthe
Vincenote,i
fIwantedhim,I
'
dhav ehadhim al
ong
ti
meago.He' sj
ustnotmycuppat ea"

Sheraisedherhandatme, Isl
appedherf ir
st.
..Vince
wasnotqui ckerkemnt akabawocozuf i
ke
sendiyf
akil
eimpamawambambaet huki
selausisiza
causingascene.It ookmycl ut
ch,phoneandbae' s
carkeysndaphumaandi mazi y
enauhl el
iphi
.I
openedt hecarandsati nsi
delist
eningtoMet roFM
thenIheardpeoplescr eami ngo.OIpeekedandsaw
herrunningtowardst hecar ,
Igotoutandwai tedf or
her.
..
waf i
kaway i
fakai mpamakum, notthatIwasn' t
aware,
noIwant
edhertofeel
goodabouther
sel
f.
Whenshetri
edhersecondat
temptVi
ncewas
al
readybet
weenus

Hi
m:"Li
bhongowhatt hehel
li
swr ongwithy ou?I
s
t
hishowy outr
eatcustomer
s?Dammi tfuckman,i
n
f
rontofyourboss?Haveyoulostyourfuckenmind"
Her
:"
shest
art
edi
t"
Hi
m:"
Idon'
tgi
veaf uck,
she'sacust
omer
.You'
rean
empl
oyee,
seethediff
erence"
?

Ntandoappearedlookingconfused:vwherethehel
l
washeal l
thi
st i
me?Hewal kedthrought
hethick
crowdandwalkedt ome, helookedatmyface,t
hen
atVinceandLi
bost i
llnotsurewhathappened

Vi
nce:
"I
'm sor
ryaboutal
loft
hisbr
a,Tee"
Me:
"canwego"
?
Hi
m:"
notbef
oreIknowwhat
'
sgoi
ngon"
Me:
"ohhai
ke"

Igotint hecarandcl osedthedoor,

vinceandLibo
toldhim ev er
ythi
ng.Hegoti nsi
deandaskedf orhi
s
keys,Igav ehim..
.hedrovetohisapartmentsohl
ikaI
walkedr ightbehi
ndhi m,heopenedthedoorsangena
Iremov edmyshoesandj ustputmyf eetuponthe
coffeetabl e
Hesatdown.
..

Hi
m:"okay
,cl
earl
yther
e'ssomethi
ngsomeonei
snot
t
ell
i
ngmeher e.Youfought?Why"
Me:
"If
ought
?Wi
thwho"
?
Hi
m:"
Sibongi
l
e"
Me:
"Idi
dn'
tfi
ghtmos,
whosai
dIf
ought
"
Hi
m:"t
henwhatwashappeni
ngbet
weeny
ouand
Li
bhongo"
?
Me:"
ohthat
..
.Itr
iedputt
ingheri
nherpl
acebut
kuy
acacashe'stoobigfori
t"
Hi
m:"
babycummonbehonestwi
thme"
Me:"babycanwenott
alkaboutLi
bhongo?I
'
vehear
d
enoughofthatnamef
oroneday "

Iswi t
chedont heTVandwat ched'Ididn'
tknowI
waspr egnant'l
olheleftmet hereandwentt ohis
room.Iwentt othekitchenandmademy selfa
priddydisastr
ousdessert:vstrawberri
esonwhi pped
cream,mel t
edchocolateandchocbi ts.Iwentbackt o
theloungendapholangemi nd.Vincentcalledme

Me:
"vi
ncent
"
Hi
m:"
I'
mreal
l
ysor
ry"
Me:"
noI'm sor
ry,
shoul
dn'
thav
erequest
edheri
nthe
f
ir
stplace"
Hi
m:"
mxm. .
.Idon'
tknowman,
nowbhut
'Nt
andoi
s
onmycase"
Me:
"bhut
'Nt
ando'
?
Hi
m:"
yeah.
..
theguyIaskeduy
azel
aphi
"
Me:
"whyi
sheony
ourcasekengok"
?
Hi
m:"
he'
stheowneroft
heShi
saNy
amamos"
Me:
"buty
ousaidyourbr
otherownst
heshi
-
wai
t,
you'
reNt
ando'sbr
other
"?
Hi
m:"
yes"
Me:
"andy
ousayheownst
heShi
saNy
ama"
?
Hi
m:"
yes.
..
yousoundshocked"
Me:"
duh!Noman,
whydi
dn'
thet
ell
mey
ou'
rehi
s
br
other
"?
Hi
m:"
Idon'
tknow.
..
doeshet
ell
youev
ery
thi
ng"
?

Ikeptqui
et.
..
I'
m notsur
eany
mor
e.
I
namor
ethanawhi
sper
..
.

Hi
m:"
Tri
na"
?
Me:
"mh"
?
Hi
m:"
arey
oudat
inghi
m"
Me:
"yes"
Hi
m:"
yho.
..
yousur
eyoucankeepup"
Me:
"no.
..
butI
'
m wi
l
li
ngt
otr
y"
Hi
m:"
goodl
uck"
Me:
"t
hanks"

Ihungup.
..Nt
andoandVi
ncent
,br
other
s?:
/
[
10/
9,18:
23]‪+27730692704‬:
#102

Iwassti
l
leat
ingmydesser
twhenhecamebackand
satdown

Me:
"Iwannagohome"
Hi
m:"
thengohome"
Me:
"youbr
oughtmeher
e"
Hi
m:"
so"
?
Il
ookedathi
m ndamhl
eka:
vuci
mbaI
'
m scar
edof
hi
sseri
ousface?Mxm.

Hi
m:"
ukwenzent
oni
uLi
bo"
?
Me:
"whydi
dn'
tIknowVi
ncei
syourbr
other
"?
Hi
m:"
huh"
?
Me:
"ort
haty
ou'
rehi
sboss"
?
Hi
m:"
younev
erasked"
Me:
"haha!Wow!Okay
"

Iworeizi
hlanguzam andwentt
ori
nset
hebowl
in
theki
tchen..

Icameback,
tookmybagandphonendamj
onga

Me:
"pl
stakemehome"
Him:
"I'
m nott
aki
ngyouany
whereungakhange
undi
xelel
ewhat'
sgoi
ngonbet
weeny ouandthat
Li
bhongo"
Me:
"you'
renott
aki
ngmeany
wher
e"?
Hi
m:"
akhomoy
aapha"

Itookhiscarkey sandwal kedout .

..
hewat chedme-
_-didhehonest l
yt hi
nkIwillt
urnback?Iwal kedout
tohiscar ,
goti nhisseatanddr ovemy selfhome
damnt hisf eltgood:Dthisbigcar?Icoul dgetused
todrivi
ngmy selfaroundinthisish.Iparkedinthe
parkinglotandwal kedi
nsideLuke'shousebumped
onEv ewal kingout ,
shescreamedobv i
ouslywe
hugged

Her
:"
youl
ooki
nggoooood"
Me:"
youtoo.
..
you'
regl
owi
ng,
Ihopey
ou'
renot
pr
egnantagai
n"

Lolwehuggedagainandwalkedtot helounge
sahl
alaj
usttocat
chup...
lol
wesur el
ycaughtupona
l
otofthi
ngsexceptformyv i
rgi
nit
yissue,Iwasn'
t
r
eadyj
usty
ett
odi
shoutt
hoset
ypaper
sonal
det
ail
s.

Her
:"
sooo,
hegav
eyouhi
scar
"?
Me:
"oht
hat
?No,
andIt
hinkImi
ghtbei
nabi
gtr
oubl
e
f
ort
hat"
Her
:"
huh?Idon'
tunder
stand"
Me:
"wel
lIt
ooki
twi
thouthi
sper
missi
on"
Her:
"whyonear
thwoul
dyoudot
hat
?Youwanna
angert
hedude"
?
Me:
"It
hinki
tst
ool
atef
ort
hat
"
Her
:"
whoah!Dude,
yougot
tat
akei
tback"
Me:
"Iwon'
t"

Wandij
ongaumntasekhayaekhupheamehlo
okonomasel
e..
.Ij
ustpout
edandl ookedaway
.
Myphoner angndi
sali
bel
ekubaneshori
..
.Shel
ooked
atme,thenatt
hephonelolIstar
tedbi
ti
ngmynail
s:/
thenIbreat
hedoutandpickedupthedamnedphone
Me:
"hel
l
o"
Hi
m:"
sthandwasam"
Me:
"baby
"
Hi
m:"
imot
oyam ndi
zoy
ifumananj
ani
kengok"
?
Me:
"yhoandi
yazbabe"
Hi
m:"
baby
"
Me:
"baby
"
Hi
m:"
pleasebr
ingmycar
"
Me:
"Ican'
t.
..
can'
tIbr
ingi
ttomor
rowmor
ning"
?
Hi
m:"
youcan'
t"
?
Me:
"Ihavereasontobel
i
eveyou'
reangr
ykalok
l
ovi
e,sondcelauyi
zi
saksasawhenyou'
recal
m"
Hi
m:"
youhav
ereason?Hehbabe"
?
Me:
"mal
ove"
?
Him:
"lel
awy
akhouz
amauy
ipr
act
izel
aaphakum
neh"
?
Me:
"I
'm sor
ry"
Hi
m:"
you'
renot
,webot
hknowy
ou'
renot
"
Me:
"nowt
hat
'st
rue"

Lol
wav
elawahl
eka:
v:v

Hi
m:"
youhav
enoshamey
ouknowt
hat
"
Me:
"buty
oudar
edmenawe"
Hi
m:"
oh,
sonowy
oushi
ft
ingbl
ame?Howsmar
t"
Me:
"okaywai
t.
..
whatdi
dyousaywhenIt
oldIwanna
gohome"?
Hi
m:"
Itol
dyout
ogohome"
Me:
"t
henhowdi
dyouexpectmet
ogohome?By
f
oot
"?

Evewandi
j
ongaandshookherheadassheswi
tched
ontheTVbutonl
owvolume
Him:"
Iexpectedyoutospeaktome,
answerl
ent
o
bendi
yibuza.
..
notwhatyoudid"
Me:"haike,I
'm sor
ryIdi
dn'
tgoal
ongwi
thy
our
expectations"
Hi
m:"
hm,
sol
emot
out
hii
buy
ani
ni"
?
Me:
"ngomso"
Hi
m:"
okay
..
.shar
p"
Me:
"babywai
t"
Hi
m:"
oh-
kay
"

Lol
..
.t
est
ingt
hewat
ers?Hel
lyeah>_
<

Me:
"Ij
ustneedt
oknow.
..
wil
lIgetagoodni
ghtcal
l
"?
>_
<
LolI
'
m surehedi
dnotexpectt
hatone.
..
itt
ookhi
ma
fewsecondst
oansweri
t.

Hi
m:"
Idon'
tknow.
..
ri
ghtnow,
Idon'
tseet
hatone
happeni
ng"
Me:
"yhohai
ke"
Him:"
howdoy ouexpectsuchacallaft
erwhatyou
j
ustdid.
..
youpracti
cal
lyl
ockedmei nsi
dethis
apar
tmentcozy ouknowIdon'thav
eot hermeansof
tr
ansportbesi
deslomoto"
Me:
"youhadsomewher
eel
set
obe"
?
Hi
m:"
wow"
Me:"byebyekexaungazondif
ounelanal
ate.
..
Ithi
nkI
shouldal
sosaygoodnightkwangokumos"
Hi
m:"
night
"

Hehungup.
..
ulookedatmyphoneandputi
tont
he
cof
feet
abl
e.

Me:
"wher
ewer
ewe"
?
Her
:"
hewant
shi
scarr
ight
"?
Me:
"he'
l
lgeti
t.
..
tomor
row"
Her
:"
yho,
you'
rebr
ave"
Me:
"i
tfel
tgooddr
ivi
ngt
hatcar
..
.Youhav
enoi
dea"

Wecont inuedwithourownconv er
sationthenshe
suggest edwecooksupper ,wedidjustthat.Her
boy fr
iendcalledsowandi shiy
away osabelael ounge
cozIwasi nthekitchenndaphekakendagqi bathen
wedi shedupourdi nnerandat ei
nthel ounge.I
mi ssedboobooman, thi
shousewasqui eternow
thathe'snol ongerherewi t
husormay beImi ssed
Sino: (neh?
[
10/
9,18:
25]‪+27730692704‬:
#103

Af
terourdinnerwesatupsomef ewmor ehour
s
watchingmov i
es,igotti
redandl efthertherewentt
o
myr oom andjustlaytheret
hinkingoft hedays
ev
ent sthenIdecidedtocallVincentagai n

Hi
m:"
Tee"
?
Me:
"hey
..
.Ineedt
oasky
ousomet
hing"
Hi
m:"
fi
reaway
"
Me:"
whenIt
oldy
ouI
'
m dat
ingNt
andoy
ousai
dgood
l
uck,
why"
?
Hi
m:"
I'
drat
hernotgeti
nvol
ved"
Me:
"pl
ease"
Him:
"lookTrina,
he'smybrot
her
,he'
smybossand
you'
remyf r
iend.IfIwer
etochoosesi
desobv
iousl
yi
wouldchoosehis"
Me:
"Idon'
tdoubtthat
..
.butal
lI'
m aski
ngi
swhyy
ou
wi
shedmel uck"

Hewentsil
entf
orawhil
e..
.Ipani
ckedaLi
lcozsi
l
ent
sur
elymeansconcer
n

Me:
"cummonVi
nce"
Him:"
mybr otherisav er
ygoodbusinessmanIdon'
t
doubtthat
,he'
saf atheroftwobutI'
veneverr
eal
ly
seenhim bondingwi t
hhiskidsal
lIknowishe
supportst
hem f i
nancial
l
y,ontheotherhandhe'
sa
har
dcor
egangst
athaty
oudon'
twannacr
oss"
Me:
"oh"
Him:"i
fany
onehereseesyouwit
hhim,they
'l
lgi
ve
youtheutmostr
espectcozev
eryoneknowsnotto
crosshim"
Me:
"sohe'
sthatscar
y"
Hi
m:"
I'
m notscar
edofhi
m..
.Idon'
tknowabouty
ou"

Ndakhendat
hul
a

Hi
m:"
Igeti
tnow..
.y
oudon'tj
ustl
ovehi
m,y
ou'
rei
n
l
ovewi
thhi
m aren'
tyou"
?
Me:
"t
hat
'swhatscar
esmenow"
Hi
m:"
he'sagoodguytrustme.
..
butdon'
trubhi
m up
t
hewrongway,heget
slivi
d"
Me:
"uhm.
..
maybeaLi
ltool
atef
ort
hat
"
Hi
m:"
what
chumean_
"?
Me:
"yest
erday
..
.hewoul
dn'
ttakemehome,
soIdr
ove
my
sel
fhome"
Hi
m:"
usi
nghi
scar
"?
Me:
"yes"
Him:
"nah,
hewon'
tdoany
thi
ng.
..
isheatt
he
apar
tment"
?
Me:
"yes"
Hi
m:"
I'
ll
passbywhenIcl
oseher
e..
."
Me:
"ohkay
..
.by
e"
Hi
m:"
shar
p"

Ihungup. ..
wellIguessI '
mr eall
ynotget tinga
goodni ghtcal l
somandv elendil
aleqha.Iswi tched
offmyl i
ght s,
putmyphoneundert hepi l
l
owand
slept.Iwasn' tgonnacal lNtandoshame, hesai dhe
wouldn' tcallmesinceIki ndast ol
ehi scar ?Lol noI
didn'
tst eal hi
scarIt ookit,
ri
ghtunderhi swat ch.I
reall
ymi ssedSinoy az^ _
^Iwant edt ocall baeand
askf orhi smom' snumberqhaIst oppedt hat
thoughtcozIknewi t'
llbeinappropriatesince
ndingazi wakokwabo.
-

Foll
owingmor ni
ngIwaswokenupbyhi
scal
l.
.Iwas
hesi
tantyouknowbutkeIdidn'
thav
eachoi
cesince
Iwasstil
linposi
tionofhi
scar

Me:
"mmh"
?
Hi
m:"
goodmor
ning"
Me:
"hm"
Hi
m:"
yousl
eptwel
l
"?
Me:
"yeah,
you"
?
Hi
m:"
mh,
wasj
ustchecki
ngony
ou"
Me:
"kay
"

Ihungup-
_-

Hecal
l
edagai
no.
Othi
sti
meIwast
otal
l
ywi
dewake
Me:
"Nt
ando"
Hi
m:"
udi
kwey
int
on"
?
Me:
"di
dyoucheckt
het
imebef
orecal
l
ingme"
?
Hi
m:"
doIneedt
o"?

Real
l
y?

Me:
"whatcanIdof
ory
ou"
?
Him:"
Idon'
tknow.
.may
bebri
ngmycar?Si
nceI
'
m
cal
m now,t
hankst
oyourf
ri
endVi
nce"
Me:
"I
'l
lbr
ingy
ourcar
"
Hi
m:"
when"
?
Me:
"It
hinkIdi
dment
ion'
mor
ning'
lastni
ght
"
Hi
m:"
whi
chmeansy
ou'
reony
ourway
"
Me:"mor
ningonl
yendsat11:
59soIst
il
lhav
e
enought
ime"
Hi
m:"
ohcummon,
enought
imef
orwhatnow"
?
Me:"enoughti
met obath,
hav
ebreakf
ast.
..
doyou
real
lyexpectmetodriv
eacrosstowninPJs?Wi
tha
sti
nkingmouth"?
Hi
m:"
Imi
sst
hatsi
ghtofy
out
hough"
Me:"
pit
yyouai
n'tseei
ngi
tanyt
imesoon,
bye
by
e..
.seeyoui
ntwohoursorso"
Hi
m:"
what
?You'
reki
ddi
ngr
ight
"?
Me:
"may
be"

Ihungup,
wenttothebat
hroom andbathed,
came
backandmademybedgqi bandehlandayot
ya..
.I
wasbuil
dingupsomecourage:
vIwasaf rai
dof
hi
m,noofhisrage.
[
10/
9,18:
27]‪+27730692704‬:
#104

Ideci
dedtonotdressup...
ifndi
zobethwaorgethur
t
l
emmegethur tndingekhogorgeousmntakamahso
Ij
ustworemydeni m dungareepants,
whit
evestand
whitesneakersthenIwor eanNYcapemhl ophe8|
cavadaiswaggnt wana.OhandIwant edtogot othe
doctoranddot hepreggiestest,
l
ol Isuspected
my sel
fbutkeIdi dn'
twannaki l
lmy selfwi
thparanoia
andIwasn' tgonnatellhi
m uzoveleandihlekeor
evenwor seafuneuhambanam : /

AsIwal
kedoutEv
ewal
kedi
nfr
om j
oggi
ng

Me:
"mor
ningandby
e"
Her
:"
youdol
ookbeaut
if
uly
etghet
toy
ouknow"
?
Me:
"t
hatwast
hepl
an,
ci
ao"

Iwalkedout ,
wit
hmyphoneandcarkey sqha..
.drove
myselftothisapartmentuvalolubethel
aphezul u
phofingathintl
i
ziyoizophumangoml omobutIt old
myselfthere'
snot urni
ngback...
ift
hebeasti soutto
devourthenbetterIwitnessandexper i
encethat
now,notlat
erwhenI 'l
lbetootiedtot hi
srel
ationshi
p
ndi
ngakwazi nophuma.
Idrov
ei ntohisparki
nglotandbr eat
hedf oracouple
ofminutesbef or
eIevengotoutoft hecarwalking
towardst heentr
ancelolbytheti
meIr eachedthe
doorIcoul dhearhewashome: vplayingjazzmusic
onmedi um volumeIknocked,andwai ted..
.He
openedt hedoor

Me:
"hi
"
Hi
m:"
comei
n"

Iwal
kedi
nandsatont
hecouch,
hi
skey
sst
il
lwi
th
me.

Hi
m:"
cof
fee"
?
Me:
"not
hanks.
..
I'
m notst
ayi
ngf
orl
ong"
Hi
m:"
ungxamel
ephi
"?
Me:
"Ihav
esomewher
etobe"
Hi
m:"
somewher
e"?
Me:
"I
'dr
athernotdi
scuss.
..
uhm,
Ibr
oughtt
hese"

Iputthekeysonthetabl
eandgotup,
walked
towardsthedoorhewalkedbehi
ndmeandI
stopped..
.washegonnaletmegobackhomeon
publi
ctranspor
t?
Heheldmywai
stf
rom behi
nd,
Ifel
thi
sbr
eat
honmy
neckmywhol
ebodyshiv
ered.

Hi
m:"
Iknowwhaty
out
rynado"
Me:
"I
'm wal
ki
ngout
"
Him:
"no,
you'
retest
ingmypat
ience.Youbaby
,wanna
seemecrack.
..
questi
oni
s,
wil
l y
oubeabletohandle
me"?

Iwentcold,
thenhekissedmyneck. .t
urnedme
aroundandkissedmer ightther
eont heentrance.I
respondedmindlessl
yuntilhestopped.
..
Ilooked
down
Hi
m:"
canIatl
eastdr
ivey
out
othi
ssomewher
e"?
Me:
"uhm.
..
'
'
Hi
m:"
ory
ou'
drat
hert
akepubl
i
ctr
anspor
tat
ion"
?
Me:
"Idon'
tmi
nd.
..
lat
er"

Iwal kedout ,IhadR100onme. .

.lolthi
swaspr obably
myf i
rsttimeonpubl ictranspor t
ationbutIwant edto
doi t,
Iwasn' tborninacarmosIwal kedashor t
distanceandf oundat axi,
itdroppedmei ntown, I
walkedt othenear estdoct orsof fi
ceandwentt ot he
recept i
onist,Iwasaskedt owaitndal indany hani
withoutev enpani cking.Myt urncameandIwal ked
i
n,briefedt hedoctoraboutwhyIwast herethenhe
ranal lthenecessar ytest sndalindaagai n.
Ireceiv
edacal lf
rom VincentasIsatont
hebed
waiti
ngf ormyresul
ts,l
olbyresul
tskeImeanal
l
result
sincludi
ngHIVresults.
..

Me:
"hey
"
Hi
m:"
hey
,unj
ani
"?
Me:
"I
'm goody
ou"
?
Hi
m:"
I'
m good,
youdon'
tsoundt
oogood.What
'sup"
?
Me:
"not
hing"
Hi
m:"
cummon"
Me:
"I
'm ser
iousnt
wanaI
'
m okay
"

Hewentsi
l
ent
..
.f
orasec

Him:
"bhut
'Nt
andoj
ustcal
l
edacoupl
eofmi
nut
es
ago"
Me:
"oh"
Hi
m:"
youguy
sfoughtorsomet
hing"
?
Me:
"no"
Him:
"t
henwhydoeshesayhet
hinksy
ou'
rescar
ed
ofhi
m"
Me:
"Idon'
tknow"
Hi
m:"
Tri
nacomeon"
Me:"y
oushouldhav
easkedhim,
he'
stheonewho
t
hinksI'
m scar
edofhi
mright
"?
Hi
m:"
ishel
yi
ng"
?
Me:
"whyaskme?Inev
ersai
dI'
m scar
edofhi
m"
Hi
m:"
okay
..
.ubegr
andneh"
Me:
"Iam gr
and"
Hi
m:"
shar
p,l
ater
"
Me:
"sho"

Thedoct orreturnedwi thmyr esults,

heaskedmei f
I'
dhadr ecentv i
rginalexami nationIconf irmedsi nce
Ididngokuy aIhadt hatabnor mal bleedingt hi
ng
thenheal soconf ir
medt hatIam NOTpr egnant,and
allr
esul tscamebacknegat i
ve,Ijusthav etoeat
proteinsmybl oodi slowoni r
onandpr otein-_
-I
thankedhi m andhesai dIshoul dpayupkwi
receptionist.
..Jongakwangonandi cingay obaI
didn'tbringnowal l
etoranyf orm ofmoneybesi des
l
eR100ndi khwel ekuy o.Iwalksoutoft hedoct ors
off
iceandaskedtherecept
ionistforti
mesi nce"
the
personaI
'm wai
ti
ngforhasn'tarri
vedy et
"buxoki
kodwashamewav umaumnt anomnt u.Isatdown
andcall
edmysister
..
.

Her
:"
hey
"
Me:
"hey
,Ineedaf
avor
"
Her
:"
okay
,shoot
"
Me:
"you'
rest
il
lhomer
ight
"?
Her
:"
noI
'
m hav
ingbr
eakf
astwi
thbaei
ntown"
Me:
"ohcr
ap"
Her
:"
what
'sup"
?
Me:
"IneedR420ASAP"
Her
:'
'
ohkay
..
.wher
ear
eyou"
?
Me:
"al
soi
ntown"
Her
:"
Icanbr
ingi
twher
ear
eyouexact
ly"

Igav
ehert
hedi
rect
ions,
shewasnear
ersoshe
camealongwi
thLwando,
Ipai
dupandwal
kedout
wit
hthem.

Her
:"
okay
..
.what
'
swr
ong"
?
Me:
'
'not
hing"
Her:"
you'
rei
nadoctorsof
fi
ce,
wit
houtawal
l
etora
carandyousaynot
hing?Howdidyouev
encome
here"
?
Me:
"t
axi
"
Her
:"
what
"?
LD:"
Babycanwenotdothisnowshel
ooks
exhaust
ed.
..I
zaTeesi
kugoduse"
Me:
"no,
gofi
nishwhat
every
'al
lwer
edoi
ng,
I
'l
ltakea
t
axi
again"
Hi
m:"
no,
we'
ret
aki
ngy
ouhome"
-
_-

Igoti
natt
hebackpassengerseatandt
heydr
ove
mehome,Evewant
edtostartbehi
ndIpushedhert
o
go.
..
Idi
dn'
twannageti
ntothethir
ddegreewit
hher
now.
[
10/
9,18:
28]‪+27730692704‬:
#105

Ir
emov
edmyshoesandgoti
nbed.
..
Thegat ealarm beeped,
Iwalkeddownst airsand
checkedwhoi twas?Andt omynotsosur pr
isether
e
wasMar cuschil
ledinablackBenz,Iopenedt hegate
andwai tedforhiminthelounge..
.hewal kedinand
wehugged.Ineededt hathug.Ineededlawar mth
butingabi y
ekababyokwangoku.Thenhepul l
edmy
arm andwesatont hesamecouch. ..

Hi
m:"Icant
ell
ther
e'ssomet
hingbi
ggoi
ngon
wi
tchu"
Me:
"no,
I
'mf
ine.Thanks"
Hi
m:"
Tri
nal
i
queSmi
th"
Me:
"Mar
cusSmi
th"
Hi
m:"
pleaset
alkt
ome"
Me:
"Ineedt
hatphoney
oupr
omi
sed,
didy
oubr
ingi
t"
?
Hi
m:"
her
e"

Hegav emeashoppi ngbag,Itookitandsmil

ed
whenIr emov edthatbox.
..
damnIwashappybutmy
hear twaswi thbaeandsomet hi
ngdeepdowni nsi
de
toldmei fIdon'
ttell
him now,hemi ghtfi
ndout
somewher esomehowandi twi l
lnotbetoo
nice,may beitwil
lbeundersomecr ucial
circumst ances.

Hi
m:"
Tri
nawhat
'
sgoi
ngonwi
tchu,
pleaset
alkt
ome"
Me:
"you'
l
lhat
eme"
Hi
m:"
hat
eyou?Why
"?
Me:"
Idon'
twannabet
hecauseoff
ight
sbet
ween
y'
al
l"
Hi
m:"
fi
ght
sbet
weenwho"
?
Me:
"but
..
.Idon'
tknowwhy
,Ican'
tev
enst
opmy
sel
f
any
mor
e,t
hisi
sbey
ondmycont
rol
boet
"
Hi
m:"
stopy
our
sel
ffr
om who?What
"?
Me:"
butItr
iedy
ouknow?Itri
edsohar
dbutI
coul
dn'
t,
myheartwoul
dn'
t"
Him:"
Tri
na,I
'
mlosingyoui
never
ysentence,
you'
re
notmakinganysenseLi
lsi
s.Whatar
ey out
alki
ng
aboutnow"?
Me:"andwhat'swor seist haty '
allwarnedmeabouti t
andmay beIwasnai ve,
justmay be,butwhatdoes
onedowhent hehear twant swhati twant s?ShouldI
j
ustwal kaway?Pr etendIf eelnot hi
ng?Butt hat
wouldmeanI '
m bei ngjudgment al r
ight?Acowar d
even?Imean...Idon'tknowt hereasonsf orthi
s
j
ourneyoroutcomej usty et,
butI'm willi
ngt otry
,I
wannagett oknowev ent hatno- goar eathatis
coveredandshaded. ..
thesi deandpoi ntwher eno
oneelsereaches,thedar ksidebecauseIknowi t
exi
stsIjustwannabet her e.
..i
sthatwr ong?..
."

BynowIwassoaki
ngwetinmyownt ears,
i
nsteadof
al
lowi
ngmytear
stojustf
lowi
nsi
lence,Ij
ust
compl etel
ybr okedownandcr i
edi nadeephear t
fel
t
mot i
on.Myent ir
ebodywasshaki ngi nterr
ordamnI
didn'tknowIl ovedt hisguyt hismucht hough: '
(it
hur tsomuchev ent hinki
ngt hatwehadbeendat ing
foray earwithoutany onenot i
cing,thatI'
vesleptwi t
h
thisguywi t
houtpr ot ecti
onwi thoutev enthinking
aboutSTDsorget t
ingpr egnant ,t
hankGodhe
thoughtoft heaf t
erpi ll
sonourwayt ot heairport.
May bethat'
swhyIwasn' tpregnant?Ormot her
nat urewasj ustbei ngf avorableconsi deri
ngmy
situationatpr esent?Ionl ysnappedoutofmy
thought sandt ear
swhenMar cbroughtmeagl ass
ofsugarwat er.
..
Itooki tanddr ank,cleanedmy self
upusi ngt het i
ssuesi nfr
ontofme.

Him:"
okay,
nowt
haty
ou'
recal
m..
.doy
ouwannat
alk
abouti
t"
?
Me:"
no.
..
I'
vesai
denoughal
ready
.Myheadi
s
t
hrobbi
ng"
Hi
m:"
doy
ouhav
epar
acet
amol
"?
Me:
"yeahIt
hinkso"
Iwal kedupt omyr oom andsear chedf orpill
s,drank
twoandt hrewmy sel
font hebedhecameupand
sawmecr yingsil
ently..
.Isooobadl ywant edtocal l
bhut '
baeandt el
lhim Ilovehi m,
tel
lhimI '
m sor ryfor
ev eryt
hingincludi
ngt her ecent.
..
butmost lyIjust
want edt ohearhisv oice,
hischuckle,hi
sdeephoar se
voi ceespeciall
yinthemor ningwhenhet urnsand
kissesmeont hetopofmynose.

Me:
"Ij
ustneedaLi
lnap,
I
'l
lbef
ine"
Hi
m:"
okay
,I
'l
lbedownst
air
s"
Me:
"mh"

Hewalkeddownst ai
rs,
closi
ngthedoorbehi
ndhim
ndal
alanyhanishame.IonlyawokewhenEv ewoke
meup...Il
ookedather,myey esswol
l
en.

Her
:"
hey
,youneedt
oeatsomet
hing"
Me:
"I
'm cool
thanks"

Iwenttothebat hr
oom,undressed,
wor eashower
capandgoti ntheshowerjuststanding
ther
e..
.t
hinki
ng.WhenIwasdonet hinkingIt
urned
thewateroffandwr appedthetowelaroundmybody
andwalkedtomyr oom,satonthedressingt
able
chai
r..
.

Her
:"
yourboy
fri
endhasbeencal
l
ing"
Me:
"Ican'
ttal
ktoh-
"
Thephoner
angesandi
nika.
..

Me:
"l
ow"
Hi
m:"
heyy
ouokay
"?
Me:
"yeah"
Hi
m:"
yousur
e..
.ev
eny
ourv
oicesoundshoar
se"
Iclear
edmyt hroat.
..Nowthathecal
led,
Idi
dn'
tknow
whattot el
lhi
m: /nowt hat
'
ssaid,
cozIknew
everyt
hingearl
ieron.

Hi
m:"
baby
"
Me:
"Ier
hm.
..
Ihav
etogo,
canIcal
lyoul
ater
"?
Hi
m:"why
?What
'sst
oppi
ngy
ounowf
rom t
alki
ngt
o
me"?
Me:
"mybr
otheri
sher
e"
Hi
m:"
Luu"
?
Me:
"no,
Mar
cus"
Hi
m:"
oh.
..
okay
"
Me:
"shar
p"
Him:
"justpr
omi
sey
ou'
l
lcal
lIr
eal
l
yneedt
otal
kto
you"
Me:
"Ipr
omi
se"
Hi
m:"
lov
eyou"
Me:
"Iknow"
ThenIhungup.
..Ev
ewassti
l
lher
e.Iwor
emyPJs
andsatdownnexttoher
.

Me:
"whatam Igoi
ngt
osayt
ohi
m"?
Her
:"
youwannat
ell
him abouty
ourr
elat
ionshi
p"?
Me:
"shoul
dI"
?
Her:
"wel
li
tsbeenasecretfortool
ong..
.doy
out
hink
youcancont
inuekeepi
ngitthatway"
Me:"
Idon'
tknow.
..
Iwannat
ell
Mar
cbutI
'
m af
rai
dof
hi
sresponse"
Her:
"Iknowyoulovehim,
sogoodluckwit
hMarcus
cozwebot hknowhecanbeespeci al
l
ysi
ncewegot
thet
hirddegreeabouthi
sfr
iends"
Me:
"mh":
/
Her
:"
sot
ell
me.
..
whywer
eyouatt
hedoct
orear
li
er"
?

Il
ookeddown.
..Lol
Evecoul
dn'
tl
ett
hisonego?
Me:
"Iwentt
odosomet
est
s"
Her
:"
test
s"?
Me:
"yeah,
HIV,di
abet
es,
pregnancy
,hy
per
tensi
onal
l
t
hosekindatest
s"
Her:
"pr
eg-what?Yout
rynat
ellmeyoubr
okey
our
vi
rgi
nit
y?Whyam Ionl
yheari
ngthi
snow?
Duuuuuide"
???
?

Ismi
l
ed.
..Besekuphel
enohl
ekakenamhl
anj
e.

Her
:"
so?Howwasi
t"
?
Me:"
Ican'
ttalkaboutt
hatt
odaynotwi
thMar
c
downstai
rs"
Her
:"
oh..
.weshoul
duhm,
godownst
air
s.Hecooked
l
unchforus"
Me:
"Mar
cus?Cooked?Wow"
Her
:"
thankst
oyou"
Me:
"yho"

Wetookourphonesandwal keddownt hest

aircase
say
ohlal
aelounge.Hecamebackandsatdownwi t
h
acast
leli
ghtdumpie:vinobauqhaqhaIcabi
nkaLuu
Kel
ocozwedon' tkeepsuchinourfri
dge:v.

Hi
m:"
youl
ookbad'
'
Her
:"
she'
snott
hatbadcummon"
Hi
m:"
yout
hink"
?
Bahl
eka:
'
(
Me:
"I
'l
lj
ustpr
etendI
'
m hear
ingbeesbuzzi
ngi
nher
e"

Het
hrewmewi
thacushi
on:
v

Hi
m:"
Evi
e..
.hel
pmedi
shup"
Her
:"
yessi
r"
Theywentt
otheki
tchen.
..Vi
ncecal
l
edagai
n:oy
ho
hay

Me:
"Vi
ncent
"
Hi
m:"
whoah!Whathav
eIdone"
?
Me:
"you'
l
ltel
lme"
Hi
m:"
I'
mjustchecki
ngony
ou"
Me:
"I
'mf
inet
hanky
ou"
Hi
m:"
yousur
e"
Me:
"duh"
Hi
m:"
canIseey
out
oday
"
Me:
"Idon'
tpl
anongoi
ngout
"
Hi
m:"
Icancomebyy
ourhouse"
Me:
"ohkay
..
.mustbeur
gent
"
Him:
"Ij
ustneedtobesur
eyou'
reokay
..
.bef
oreIsee
youi
nschooltomorr
ow"
Me:
"ay
t..
.I
'
llwai
tfory
ourv
isi
t"
Hi
m:'
'
cool
"

Ihungupj
ustasmysibli
ngswalkedin,
weenjoy
ed
l
unchcour
tesyofMarcusSmit
h:Dt henwhenIl
east
expect
edi
t.
..
hepoppedthequesti
onIwasdreading

Hi
m:"
youhav
eaboy
fri
end"
?
Ev
e:"
duh"
Hi
m:"
Iwasn'
ttal
ki
ngt
oyou"
Her
:"
sor
ry,
buty
ouwer
en'
tcl
earboet
"
Hi
m:"
Tri
na"
Me:
"huh"
?
Hi
m:"
youhav
eaboy
fri
end"
?
Me:
"yes"
Hi
m:"myguessi
syoudon'
tonl
ylov
ehi
m,y
ou'
rei
n
l
ove"
Me:
"Iguess"
Hi
m:"
doeshel
ovey
ou?Li
key
ou'
dwannabel
oved"
?
Me:
"wher
eist
hisgoi
ng"
?

Hetookaf
ewmor
ebi
tesandst
opped,
wipi
nghi
s
mouth

Him:"
youknow...
I'
veworkedwithpeopl
eforsomany
year
sANDI '
vebeenat eenagersoIki
ndaknowal
l
t
heliesandtr
icksI'
mthebook"
Me:
"goodf
ory
ou"
Him:
"IguesswhatI
'
mtr
ynasayi
s..
.Iknowwhat
's
goi
ngonwi t
chu"
Her
:"
youdo"
?
Hi
m:"
don'
tyou"
?
Her
:"
Ican'
tanswert
hat
"
Hi
m:"
simpl
eyesandno.
..
backt
oyou"
Me:
"uh-
huh"

Het
ookav
erygoodl
ookatmeandsmi
l
ed.
..Iwent
col
dimmedi
atel
y,l
i
keIwentcol
dwhenbaewas
behi
ndme

Him:"
Wit
htheexper
iencet
hatIhav
e..
.Iknowwhat
's
buggi
ngyou"
Me:
"youdo"
?
Her
:"
andIhav
eaf
eel
i
ngy
ou'
regonnat
ell
us.
..
ohI
meanher
"
Hi
m:"
youar
einl
oveanddat
ingBeast
"

Myf
orkdr
opped
Ii
nst
ant
lygott
hir
sty:
o..
.Ev
eandhercockyat
ti
tude?
Bam!Si
l
ent!
[
10/
9,18:
28]‪+27730692704‬:
#106

YouknowhowIlovemyfri
ends?Fr
om thev er
yloud
Amishtot
hever
youtspokenandnosyVincent?Uh-
huh!Nt
wanayam y
afi
kaandbuzzed,
Evejumpedup
andwentt
ocheckandcameback
Her:
"youknowsomeVinceguy"
?Iclear
edmy
t
hroat..
.l
oli
nzi
malendi
kuyoIsi
tuat
ion.

Me:
'
'yeah,
plsl
ethi
min"
Her
:"
ohkay
"

Shewentbackandopenedthegat
eforhim.
..
my
chance,
Igotupandwalkedt
othegat
easheparked
onthedri
veway.Hegotoutandwehugged

Me:
"canwesi
tatt
heback.
..
byt
hepool
"
Hi
m:"
nopr
obl
em"

Il
edhi
mtot
hebackandwesatont
hepool
chai
rs

Hi
m:"
whathappenedt
oyou"
?
Me:
"i
tsoneoft
hoseday
sman"
Hi
m:"
soIseey
ourbr
otheri
shome"
Me:
"i
ndoubtt
haty
ou'
vemett
hisone.
..
Mar
cus"
Hi
m: "
ohIknowhi
mt oowel
l
...
hegoesbyt
hename
Marc'
O'Pol
ori
ght
"?

Ismi
l
ed:
)

Me:
"onl
yyourbr
othercal
l
shi
mthat
"
Hi
m:"
Iknow.
..Sohav
eyouspokent
ohi
m"?
Me:
"yeahbutnotf
orl
ong"
Hi
m:"
wannat
alkabouti
t"
?
Me:"
argh,IguessIhav
etobehonestt omy sel
fri
ght
now.I'
vedatedyourbr
otherforal
mostay earandno
onenoti
cedy ouknow,
exceptforEve.ButnowIdon'
t
wannalovehimintheshadows...
but"
Him:"
buthe'
syourbr
other
sboss,
andhe'
sa
gangst
a"
Me:
"agangst
awi
tht
wor
udebabymommas"
Him:"y
ho.
..
buty
ouf
ir
stgot
tat
ell
yourbr
other
sBot
h
ofthem"
Me:"
heknows.
..
youj
ustsav
edmefrom heav
en
knowswhatj
ustacoupl
eofmi
nut
esago"
Hi
m:"
het
oldy
out
hat
"?
Me:
"pr
acti
cal
l
yyes.
..
hesai
dheknowsI
'
minl
ove
wi
thBeast
"
Hi
m:"
wel
latl
eastt
hat
'soutoft
heway
"
Me:
"nowcomesal
lthel
ect
ures"
Hi
m:"
hopef
ull
yhewon'
tst
opy
ou"
Me:
"wi
thhi
m?Any
thi
ngi
spossi
ble"

Sahlal
aphanoVi nce,
Iwentinsi
deandpouredus
j
uicesandfruitsaladthenwechill
edev
enmor e.
..
I
rel
axedaroundhi m,evenmoresoknowt hatIknew
he'
smy' f
uture'brotheri
nlaw.

DidIsayf
utur
e?Oht
hatcoul
dpossi
blymean
somethi
ng.
..
ri
ght
?
Aft
ersometi
mehel ef
tndahl
alamnapha.
..
good
thi
ngmyphonewaswi t
hmesot hiswasmychance
tomakesomerealdamagecontr
olwit
hmybeast
nomakanj
ani
ntangasoIcall
edhi
m

Hi
m:"
fi
nal
l
y"
Me:
"f
inal
l
y?Duh,
hel
l
o"
Hi
m:"
Idon'
thav
eti
mef
orgamesbabykwenzeka
nt
oni
kuwe"?
Me:
"not
hing,
asfarasI
'
m concer
nedbutIhavea
f
eel
i
ngy oualr
eadyhaveananswert
othatquest
ion"

Hewentsi
l
ent
Idon'tknowwhytheydot
his.
..
noVi
ncedi
dthis,
thi
s
si
lencething,
i
tal
waysmakesmepanicf
orreal

Him:
"youwerespot
tedatadoctorsoff
icetoday
,and
no,
Iwasn'
tspyi
ngony ou.I
twasjustacoinci
dence"
Me:
'
oh"
Hi
m:"
oh?That
'sal
l
"?
Me:
"uf
unandi
thi
nibabe"
Hi
m:"wel
lforstar
tersyoucouldtel
lmewhyyou
wentt
hereinthefi
rstplace,
orev
enbett
erwhyI
di
dn'
tknow"?
Me:
"ohuhm.
..
."
Hi
m:"
nowy
oucan'
ttal
k"
Me:
"st
op"
Hi
m:"
stop?St
opwhatei
ntl
i
k"?
Me:
"Ical
ledtoapologi
zeokay
?Nott
obeputi
nsi
de
t
heinter
rogat
ionroom"
Hi
m:"
apol
ogi
zef
orwhat
?
Isi
ghed:
/
Me: "
forwhatIdidyest
erday..
.IadmitIwaswr ong
forwhathappenedwi t
hLibo,nottell
i
ngy ou
everythingandthent
akingyourcarf ort
hewhole
night.
..wit
habitofanatti
tudeont opofthat"
Hi
m:"
okay
"
Me:
"okay
"?
Him:
"yeah.
..
Iwannaknowwhyy
ouwentt
othe
doct
or"
Me:
"t
hat
'sper
sonal
"
Him:
"I
'm mor
eper
sonal
thananydoct
orcoul
dev
er
be"
Me:
"babepl
s"
Hi
m:"
you'
renotbei
nghonesther
e"
Me:
"ndcel
aundi
l
indet
ana.
..
ri
ghtnowIhav
eMar
cus
t
odealwit
h"
Hi
m:"
what
'shedone"
?
Me:
"heknowsaboutus"
Hi
m:"y
out
oldhi
m"?
Me:
"Iwasgoi
ngt
o..
.Buthebeatmet
oit
"
Hi
m:"soheknewevenbefor
eyout
oldhi
m?What
washisr
eacti
on?Aft
ert
hat"
Me:
"Idon'
treal
l
yknowy
et.
..
kuy
ekwaf
ikauVi
nce"
Hi
m:"
hewast
her
e?Why
"?
Me:
"f
ri
endsdocheckoneachot
herIguess"
Hi
m:"
ohkay
"
Me:
"Ihav
etogo"
Hi
m:"
zov
angawekewheny
ou'
ref
ree"
Me:
"kay
"

Ihungup..
.NowIreal
l
yhav
etof
acemybr
other
.Get
thi
soveranddonewit
h.
[
10/
9,18:
29]‪+27730692704‬:
#107

Iwalkedbackinsi
de,Vi
ncewasgonesoIhadt
odeal
wit
hmydemonsnow.Isatbackdownwher eI
sat
,Evewalkedupstair
sleav
ingusal
one

Hi
m:"
you'
reback.
..
whowast
hat
"?
Me:
"myf
ri
endf
rom school
"
Hi
m:"
hel
ooksf
ami
l
iar
"
Me:
"mi
ghthav
eseenhi
m att
heShi
saNy
ama,
he
managest
hepl
ace"
Hi
m:"
oohy
eah,
hal
fbr
othert
otaBeast
''

Ndat
hula:
oIdon'
treal
l
yknowhowIshoul
dhav
e
r
esponded

Me:
"sowhat
'
syourv
erdi
ct"
Hi
m:"
ont
hisr
elat
ionshi
pofy
our
s"?
Me:
"yes"
Hi
m:"
Idon'
thav
eone"
Me:
"you'
reki
ddi
ng"
Him:"It
oldy oual
lIneededtot el
l y
ouwhenIsaw
him checkingyouout,
Ithoughty ouwouldhave
takenmyadv i
cebutHerewear estil
lgoi
ngonand
onaboutt hesamet hi
ngIwar nedy ouabout"
Me:"I
'
m sorr
y,Iknowi tl
ookslikeIlookeddownon
youradvi
ce.
..Ididn'
t,
Isti
lldon't
.Justthat
,Idon'
t
knowhowt oexpl ai
nmy selfwheni tcomestothi
s
sit
uati
on"
Him:
"Iguessy ou'
reol
denought
omakey ourown
deci
sions,
butwhatIdoknowisthaty
ouwillgethur
t.
I
tsguaranteedIcanevenbetmyownlif
eont hat
"
Me:
"youmeanhe'
l
lhur
tme?Del
i
ber
atel
y"?
Hi
m:"maybenotdeli
ber
atel
ybut,
i
nhi
sli
neof
wor
k,youdon'
texpectt
ojustwal
kar
oundI
'
m apar
k"
Me:
"kay
"
Hi
m:"Iguessthi
sthepar
twher
eEv
ewoul
dsay
f
oll
owy ourhear
t"
Me:
"whati
fthehear
tisl
osi
ngdi
rect
ion"
?
Hi
m:"
thent
akeabr
eakandr
eev
aluat
e"
Me:
"youmakei
tsoundsoeasy
"
Hi
m:"
Ijustwanty
out
opr
omi
semeonet
hing"
Me:
"l
et'
shear
"
Him:"
ifheeverhur
tsy
ou,
l
ift
suphi
shandony
ou.
..
I'
l
l
bethefir
stt
oknow"

Okay
..
.hewasser
ious.Wast
hatpossi
ble?
Me:
"okay
"
Hi
m:"
okay
"?
Me:"
Ipromi
se..
.Butl
ook,
Ihopenowthatyou
conf
ir
medthis,
i
twon'taf
fecty
ourr
elat
ionshi
pwi
th
hi
m"
Hi
m:"
don'
twor
ryaboutus,
we'
remen.Wewi
l
ldeal
wi
thi
twhenwegettoit
"
Me;"
I'
m ser
iousMar c,
thel
astthi
ngIwantisto
dest
royarelat
ionshi
porfri
endshi
pthatIdon'
tev
en
knowwhenorhowi twasformed.Pl
ease"
Hi
m:"
Ipr
omi
sey
ou,
we'
l
lwor
koutsomet
hing"

Ndat
hul
a..
.

Hi
m:"
Isawpi
l
lsony
ourbed,
dat
edt
oday
"
Me:
"yeah,
vi
tami
nsuppl
ement
s"
Hi
m:"
you'
resi
ck"
?
Me:"
no.
..Ier
hm...Iwentf
ormycheckupsot
he
doct
orsaidIam l
owonpr ot
einandi
ron"
Hi
m:"
ohokaythat
'sarel
i
ef.
..
ANDI'
m notst
ayi
ng
l
ongman.Ihaveababytot
akecar
eoff"
Me:
"t
hanky
ou.
..
forev
ery
thi
ng"
Hi
m:"
especi
all
ythephoneIguess"
Me:'
'
no..
.especi
all
ythi
stal
k.Iwasget
ti
ngt
ir
edof
t
hissecr
ecyt hi
ng"
Hi
m:"I'
m gl
adi
tsbehindus.
..
nowIhav
etot
alkt
o
hi
m,setsomegroundrul
es"
Me:
"youdoknowdadi
sint
heEast
ernCaper
ight
"?
Him:"
asthef
ir
stson,
i
tsmydut
ytost
epi
ntohi
s
shoeswhenhecan'
t"

OhwellIcoul
dn'
tar
guethat
,Evewal
keddown.
Marcusgaveusbot
hsomepocketandgrocer
y
money,
wehuggedthenheleft
.

Her
:"
Ihav
etogot
oo"
Me:
"Lwando"
Her
:"
bebackt
omor
row"
Me:
"whyam Inotsur
pri
sed"
?
Her
:"
what
ever
"
Me:"hopeyout
ookchangi
ngclothes..
.school
sar
e
openingtomor
rowi
ncasey ouforgot
"
Her
:"
ohf
li
p"!

Sher anbackupst
air
s..
.Lwandobuzzed,
Iopenedf
or
him andhedroveI'
m.Cameoutandwal kedtowar
ds
thehouse..
.

Hi
m:"
knockknock'
Me:
"i
tsopen"
Hecamet
othel
oungeandsatdown

Hi
m:"
youl
ookbet
ter
"
Me:
"haha!Thanksman"
Hi
m:"
wher
e'sEv
e"?
Me:
"she'
l
lbeher
einasec,
j
uice"
?
Hi
m:"
yespl
ease"

Ihotupandwentt opourusjui
ceswhi lewemade
smallconv
ersati
onwai t
ingf
orEve...
sher eturned
bahambandashiyekandedwakul andl
ui ngakay a.I
watchedmov i
es.Iwatchedtal
entshowsj ustto
passtimehayndancamaandcal ledhim, Imissed
hi
m butmyemot i
onswer er
eall
yallovert heplace..
.

Hi
m:"
hel
l
o"
Me:
"yousai
dIshoul
dtel
lyouwhenI
'
mfr
ee"
Hi
m:"
yeah,
howdi
ditgo"
?
Me:
"bet
tert
hanexpect
ed"
Hi
m:"
sohe'
scool
"?
Me:
"andgone"
Hi
m:"
sosoon'
'
Me:
"hehasasont
ogetbackt
o"
Hi
m:"
ayt
..
.canIcomeseey
ou"
?
Me:
"now"
?
Hi
m:"
duh"
Me:
"I
'm al
readypr
epar
ingt
osl
eep"
Hi
m:"
won'
ttakel
ong"
Me:
"kay
"
Hi
m:"
ayt
"

Wehungup. .
.Iwai
tedwithsweat ingpalms.Inless
than15mi nuteshebuzzed,Iopenedf orhimt odriv
e
i
n,Iwenttoopent hedoorsinceIl ockedrightaft
er
Eveleftt
henIwentt owaitinthel ounge.
..he
knockedandcamei nwezakwel icalandikuloIgotup
ashewal kedinandcamet owar dsme, we
hugged..
.soti
ght..
.Thenndasukaandl ooked
down,helif
tedmechi nandlookedatme, touchi
ng
myf ace
Hi
m:"
you'
vebeencr
ying"
Me:
"i
tsnoty
ourf
aul
tthough"
Hi
m:"
thenwho'
sfaul
tisi
t?Your
s"
Me:
"yes"
Hi
m:"
cummonbaby
"

Il
etgoofhi
shandandsatdown.
..Hef
oll
owedand
wesati
nsil
ence.

Me:
"uhm.
..
wantany
thi
ngt
odr
ink?Eat
"?
Hi
m:"
notnow.
..
"
Me:
"ohkay
..
.whatnow"
Hi
m:"
doct
or"
?

Isi
ghed.
..
whyissodamnadamantt
oknowabout
thi
sdoct
orthi
ng?
Me:
"pr
omi
sey
ouwon'
tgetangr
yorupset
"
Hi
m:"
okay
"
Me:
"Iwant
edt
odoapr
egnancyt
est
"
Hi
m:"
youcoul
d'
vej
ustboughtt
hatatt
hephar
macy
"
Me:
"Iwant
edt
odoi
tther
e,andbeaccur
ate"
Hi
m:"
and"
?
Me:
"t
heycamebacknegat
ive"
Hi
m:"
youmustber
eli
eved"
Me:
"act
ual
l
yIam.
..I
'
m notr
eadyt
obeamot
hery
et"
Hi
m:"
especi
all
ynotwi
thagangst
a"

Il
ookedathim.
..
doesheser
iousl
ydoubtmyl
ove?
Nyhani
though?

Me:"
Ithi
nkIhav
en'
tbeencl
earwi
thy
oul
atel
y,
Imean
howIfeel
"
Hi
m:"
nyhani
"
Me:"
Idon'tl
oveyouany
more,
it
shar
dlov
ingy
oul
i
keI
wantto,
l
ikeIthi
nkyouwantt
o"
Hi
m:"
oh.
..
sowhati
sthi
snow?We'
rebr
eaki
ngup"
?
Me:
"youdon'
tgeti
t"
Hi
m:"
thenexpl
aini
ttome"
Me:"
I'
minlovewi
thyou.
..Andthat
'st
hehar
destand
hi
ghestl
evel
I'
ver
eachedasy et
"
Hi
m:"
buty
ousai
dyoudon'
tl
oveme"
Me:"
anymor e,
yesIknowbutthatdoesn'
tmeanwe'
re
br
eakingup.ItjustmeansI
'vegrowninl
ove,
in
l
ovi
ngy ou,
lovi
ngus,lovi
ngt
heideaofbei
ng
umamakaSi no"

Hesmi
l
ed,
genui
nel
y

Hi
m:"
youal
mostgotme"
Me:
"Ican'
tst
opl
ovi
ngy
ouev
enwhenIwantt
o"
Hi
m:"
meani
ngy
ou'
vet
ri
ed"
Me:"
duh,
I'
v ebeetryi
ngtogety
ouangryawudeube
angr
ytu..
.Ithinki
justwant
edtohav
eanexcuse,
I'
m
notr
eall
ysur e"
Him:
"Idon'
tj
ustgetangr
ybabe.
..
especi
all
ywhenI
knowitsatr
ap"
Me:
"soy
ouknew"
Him:"
you'reaSmi
th,I
'
vespentti
mewit
honelong
befor
ey oucamealongsoIknowwheny'
al
lareon
yourtr
icks"
Me:
"hahaIwi
shIcoul
dsayi
trunsi
nthebl
ood"
Hi
m:"
buti
ttr
ulydoesr
uni
nthel
astname"

Iki
ssedhi
sli
ps.
..

Hi
m:"
that
"?
Me:"
Icannowfi
nal
l
yenj
oyy
ouwi
thoutl
ooki
ng
behi
ndmyshoul
der"
Him:"
meaningIcant
akey
ouout
,ev
eni
nCapeTown?
EastLondon"
?
Me:
"def
ini
tel
y"

Heki
ssedme.
..Iki
ssedhi
m backt
hewest
opped.

Hi
m:"
youknowy
ou'
redi
ff
icul
ttodeal
wit
h"?
Me:
"Iam"
?
Him:"
yho.
..Icouldn'
tsleepyesterdayokondici
ngana
nal
entoyakho,tr
y i
ngtogeti nt
oy ourshoesbutit
s
hardcoztodayy ou'r
ehot,nextthi
ngy ou'
recol
d.And
thi
shasnot hi
ngt odowi t
hCTweat hercozyouare
ri
ghtwhenwe' rethere,
thi
shasev er
ythi
ngtodowi t
h
Jo'
burg"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ry"
Hi
m:"
Ijustneedt
oknowonemor
ethi
ng"
Me:
"Li
bhongo"
Hi
m:"
yes,
Li
bhongo"
Me:
"mxm uphambenel
amnt
ana"
Hi
m:"
njani
"?
Me:
"shet
hinksI
'
m hi
tt
ingonVi
nce"
Hi
m:"
why
"?
Me: "
well
,I
'
vemadefri
endsokay,buthe'
stheonl
y
closefr
iendI
'
vemadesi nceIcamehereandthefact
thathe'
smalerai
sesmor esuspici
on"
Hi
m:"
sosheaccusedy
oubasedonwhat
"?
Me:"
basedonourcal
l
sandtext
sIguess.
..
andI
'
ve
beentohi
schur
chmor et
hanonce"
Hi
m:"
cal
l
s?Y'
al
lar
eTHATcl
ose"
?
Me:
"Ithi
nky
ouknowt hatal
ready
,si
ncey
ousenthi
m
t
otalktomeear
li
er"
Hel
aughed
Me:
"youwon'
tdenyi
t"
Hi
m:"
Idon'
tknowwhaty
ou'
ret
alki
ngabout
"
Me:"
ooohokay
,soy
oumi
ndmecal
l
inghi
m
ndi
mbuzeri
ght"
?
Hi
m:"
youwannacal
lhim?Haubabe,
thi
sIsour
t
ime,
youcancal
lhi
m ngomso"
Me:
"haha!Uci
mbaukl
evay
azwena"

Hekissedmyneckmumbl
ingsomet
hingIcouldn'
t
evenmakeout,
Iwasgi
ggl
i
ngli
keatoddl
erthrownin
theai
r.
[
10/
9,18:
30]‪+27730692704‬:
#108

Wef
ell
toget
heront
hecouch.
..
Thenhest
oppedandl
ookedatme.

Him:"
Iwoul
dn'
thav
emi
ndedi
fyouwer
epr
egnant
yaz"
Me:"
butIwoul
dhave.
..
Ist
il
lhavet
hreey
earsat
var
sit
ythent
heFourt
htosearchf
orworksoIcanat
l
eastaff
ordf
oradecentl
i
ving"
Hi
m:"
butIcangi
vey
ouadecentl
i
ving"
Me:"
I'
ll
nev
erbeahousewi
fe.
.oral
i
ve-
ingi
rl
fr
iend,
nev
er"
Him:
"soI'
l
lhavegowai
tfort
hreef
ull
year
sbef
ore
youcanbearmeason"
?
Me:"
youhaveason,
Iwantadaught
er,
whenI
'
mready
.
Ev
enifitt
akesmetenyear
s"
Hi
m:"
you'
remad"
Me:
"you'
ret
hemadone"
Hi
m:"
I'
m mad?Hehbabey
azndi
mdal
a"
Me:
"kengokuf
unant
onemnt
aneni
"?
Him:"
ey,ngxakil
omntanaisnotl
ikeabanye
abantwanay az.
..
ther
e'ssomet
hingaboutherIcan'
t
real
l
yexpl ai
n"

Ipushedhi
m andsatup.
..
ser
iousmaskon
Me:"Ihopey
ouandMar
ccanbecool
aboutt
his
si
tuati
on"
Hi
m:"
ever
ythi
ngdependsonhi
m"
Me:
"meani
ng"
?
Hi
m:"
don'
twor
ryy
our
sel
f,
letmenhandl
ethei
r
busi
ness"
Me:
"t
hei
rbusi
nesswhi
chi
ncl
udedmer
ight
"?
Him:"
youdon'
tneedtocont
rolev
ery
thi
ng
babe,
someti
mesy ouhavet
oletGodhandl
esome
thi
ngs"?
Me:
"God?Uy
amazuGodwena"
?
Hi
m:"
tyhi
nihaikengokbaby,
mnanobraGsi
close
l
awei
.He'
spr obablyt
hereasonwhyI
'
m st
il
lali
ve"
Me:"
ohcummon, di
dyoujustcal
lGodbr
aG?Ar
eyou
sur
ey ourscr
ewsaret
ight"
?
Hehi
tmyl
eg:
oisandl
asakhesi
buhl
ungu:
'
(lawei
Hi
m:"
don'
tunder
est
imat
eahust
ler
spr
ayerbabe"
Me:
"youpr
ay?YhohayKunt
akaungat
shonj
e"
Hi
m:"
baby
,Godi
sGodofev
ery
one"
Me:"
Iknow.
..
arey
ousur
eyoudon'
twantany
thi
ngt
o
eat
"?
Hi
m:"
Iwashopi
ngI
'
llt
akey
ououtonl
atesupper
"
Me:
"Idon'
tfeel
li
kedr
essi
ngup,
I
'vehadar
oughday
"
Hi
m:"
thencany
ousl
eepov
er"
?
Me:
"babe"
Hi
m: "
tomorrowy
ou'
regoi
ngbackt
ocl
ass,
theday
af
terthatI
'
m goi
ngt
onEL.Pl
ease"
Me:
"howaboutIsl
eepov
ert
omor
rowt
hen"
Hi
m:"
whynott
oday
"?
Me:
"Ineedt
ofindmyselft
oni
ght
,beal
one,
blendwi
th
t
heinnermeandrej
uvenatemyspi
ri
t"
Hi
m:"
okay
,Iwon'
tpush"
Me:"t
hanky ou.
..
and,Ireal
l
yloveyou.Youhav
et o
beli
evethat,
evenifVincewasn'ty
ourbrot
her
,I
'dhav
e
neverbeenwi t
hhim,despit
ehisgir
lf
ri
endhavi
ng
stupi
dinsecuri
ti
es"
Hi
m:"
Ithi
nki
tsagi
rlt
hing.
..
thei
nsecur
it
ies"
Me:"
maybe..
.butI'
m mor
eofapar
anoi
athanan
i
nsecur
etyp'
agi r
l"
Hi
m:"t
hatcanmakey
oui
nsecur
etoo.
..
wehav
eto
wor
kont hat
"
Me:
"yeahwel
l
..
.noi
sper
fect
.YouknowImi
ssy
our
daught
er"
Him:
''
t
heycal
ledmelastni
ght
,mymotherwanna
knowwho'
sthismamaThandoist
alki
ngabout"
Me:
"Ihopey
oudi
dn'
ttel
lherany
thi
ng"
Hi
m:"
Idon'
tl
iet
oherunnecessar
il
y"
Me:
"I
'm ev
enaf
rai
dtoheart
her
esponse"
Him:"
shewannameety ou,
butItol
dheri
tsst
il
learl
y
daysandsherespect
sthat
..
.she'
smoregrat
efulf
or
whatyoudidf
orThando"
Me:
"t
heclothes?Anyl
ogi
cal
personwoul
d'v
edone
t
hat
..
.anditwasn'
tmymoney,
itwasyour
s"
Hi
m:"you'
ret
oomodest
,j
ustt
aket
hecompl
i
ment
s
wi
lly
a"?
:
v
Me:"
okay,
thanky
ousi
r.
..
butIhav
etoasky
ou
somethi
ng"
Hi
m:"
shoot
"
Me:
"soKuhl
eandt
winar
eyourbr
other
saswel
l
"?
Hi
m:"
you'
vemett
hem"
?
Me:
"once"
Hi
m:"
thi
sfr
iendshi
pofy
our
sisr
eal
l
yst
ronghey
"
Me:"
you'
renott
hinki
ngwhatIt
hinky
ou'
ret
hinki
ng
ar
eyou"?
Hi
m:"
Idon'
tknow.Am I
"?
Me:
"ukhwel
etaakuf
ani
nawe"
Hi
m:"
Idon'
tl
ikeshar
ing,
especi
all
ynotmywoman"
Me:"
hol
yghostf
ir
e!Youf
eel
thr
eat
enedbyy
ourown
br
other
s"?
Hi
m:"
that
'sal
lI'
m say
ing"
Me:
"heee!Thi
sisaf
ir
st!
!!
"
Him:
"movingr
ightal
ong.
..Ineedy
ourhel
pon
somethi
ng"
Me:
"oh"
Him:"
seei
ngy ouwi thThandoandhowmuchy
ou
bondedwit
hher ..
.Ineedyoutohel
pmebuy
Chri
stmasclothesforthem"
Me:
"t
hem meani
ngOwent
andoi
ncl
uded"
?
Hi
m:"
yes"
Me:"
Idon'
twantChuma'
sdr
amababe,
didy
out
alkt
o
her
"
Hi
m:"
Idon'
tneedt
o,wehav
etot
alr
ight
s"
Me:
"Idon'
tknowhey
"
Hi
m:"
please.
..
let
'
sjustgoshoppi
ngwheny
ouhav
e
t
ime,
l
etmedeal wit
hChuma.Okay "
?
Me:
"okay
..
.It
hinkwecandot
hatt
omor
row"
Hi
m:"
andcl
ass"
?
Me:
"i
t'
sthef
ir
stday
,I
'l
lbeoutear
ly"
Hi
m:"
thanky
ou"

Il
ookedathi
m..
.

Hi
m:"
Ishoul
dgetgoi
ng"
Me:
"oh.
..
okay
"
Hi
m:"
what
"?
Me:
"It
hinki
twi
l
lbebesti
fyoul
endmey
ourcar
"
Hi
m:"
whoah!What
?Why
"?
Me:
"haybabecummon,
wakhuzakangaka"
?
Hi
m:"y
outakemycarf
orlesst
hanaday
,ngokuy
ou
wanti
tagai
n?I
phiGTi
"?
Me:"
kalokbabyandzokwaziumkanaleGTiapha
ngomso,ar
en'twegoingshoppi
ngtoget
her?Or
you'
reokaywithususingsepar
atecar
s"?
Hi
m:"
Icancomef
etchy
ou"
Me:
"t
akemetocl
assthencomebackagai
nandt
ake
metotownwi
thy
ou"?
Hi
m:"
but
..
.Okayf
ine,
takemet
otheapar
tmentt
hen"
:
p

Ij
umpedandhuggedhi
m,lolIranupandwor emy
sl
ipper
ssi
nceal
lthi
sti
meIwaswal kingbarefoot:vI
camebackandhewasstandingoutsi
detypi
ngon
hi
sphoneandIl
ockedthehouseandf ol
l
owedr ight
behindaswemadewayt ot
hecar..
.Igoti
nthe
passengerseat
,hegoti
nthedr
iverseatanddr
ove
out

Hi
m:"
you'
ref
asci
nat
edbybi
gcar
s"?
Me:
"bi
gandbl
ack"
Hi
m:"
mh,l
adywit
hcl
assnowt
hat
'sawomanaf
ter
myownhear
t"
Me:
"ohr
eal
l
ynow"
?
Hi
m:"
youdon'
thav
etoar
guet
hat
"

Ipout
edsadesay
ofi
kakwakhe.

Hi
m:"
you'
renotev
engoi
ngi
n"?
Me:
"nope,
Iknowat
rapwhenIseeone.Carkey
spl
s"

Hel
aughedandhandedmethekeys,
Ihuggedhim
f
ordearl
if
endasukaandt
urnedt
owalkaway ,
he
pulledmyar ml ightlyandIaut omat icall
yturnedand
facedhi m myhandi nstant l
yt ouchinghi s
breast pl
atesaj onganaf oraf ullminut ewithout
say i
ngawor d,thenIcl osedmyey est akinginthis
beaut i
fulmoment .Hislipst ouchedmi nelightl
yasi f
airbrushingthem, Isl
ightlyopenedt hem andwe
stay edli
ket hatf oranothermi nute..
.thishandonhi s
breast pl
atepul ledhi sT- shirtthenweki ssedonf ull
force: vyouknowwheny ou'vebeenf reefrom a
heav ybur den?Youj ustfeel li
ghterandnew?If elt
l
iket hat.Hav ingt okeept hisr el
ationshipasecr et
wasn' treall
yeasy ,
lolthesecr ettri
pst oCTand
stay i
ngindoor scoznoonemustseeme?Mxm
we' vebeent hr oughal ott houghi tmi ghtoccurlike
thatkomny umnt u.
Hebitmybott
om l
ipcozIwasaboutt
opul
l
back,
ndamhl
ekaandheletgo

Me:
"I
'm onel
uckygi
rly
ouknow"
Hi
m:"youhaveagangst
aboy
fri
end?I
ndeedy
ou'
re
l
uckynana"
Me:"
eshe,
I'
mluckybecauseI
'
llbedr
ivi
ngy
ourcar
t
hreedaysinarow"
Hi
m:"
youmeant
wo"
?
Me:"nope,y
est
erdaywhenIwasgoi
nghome.whenI
broughtitt
oyou,andt
omorr
owwhenI'
m goi
ngto
school"
Hi
m:"
weshoul
dgety
ouy
ourown"
Me:
"me?Ha.
ast
il
ltooear
lyf
ort
hat
"
Hi
m:"
you'
reonl
yaf
rai
dofwhatpeopl
ewi
l
lsay
"
Me:
"peopl
eincl
udemypar
ent
s"
Hi
m:"
mmkay
,I
'l
lwai
tunt
ilubeshar
p"
Me:
"noooow,
goodni
ghtmal
ove"
Hi
m:"
just
..
.onemoment
"

Hecuppedmyf aceandki ssedmeonceagainthen

heletmego...Isi
bindiusazi?Noawsazi
,
isi
bindii
s
goi
ngacrosst ownI '
m PJsupholeaphaehead
ogqibakwakho.
[
10/
9,18:
30]‪+27730692704‬:
#109

Idrovemy selfhomei nhighspi r

it
s^ _^Ikepton
pinchingmy self,
tr
y nagetther eal
it
ycheckcozI
reall
yf el
tlucky ,
notj ustbecauseofhi scarbut
becauseofhi slov e.IthoughtLandileMyf ir
st
boyfriendwast hebestIcoul dev erhavebutwhenI
fi
nallyopenedupt ot hi
sguyIbecamet ounderst
and
whatl over eal
lymeansandhowi treall
yfeelscoz
ourlov ewasr eall
ychal l
engedev enbef or
ewe
commi tt
edt oi t
..
.Fi kaendli
niandwal kedtomybed
-
Thefol
lowi
ngmor ningf
irstt
hingwhenIwokeupI
cal
ledhimfi
rst
..
.Hav eyoueverbeeni
nlov
e?So
muchthatyoujustcan'
tgetenough?

Hi
m:"
mamekhay
a"?
Me:
"babaunj
ani
"?
Hi
m:"
wel
l
..
.I
'
m ki
ndabusy
,wena"
?
Me:
"youdosoundbusy
,what
chubusywi
th"
?
Him:"
okaywai tbabe.
..
(iwai
tedinsilenceasihear
d
thekeyboardsoundsashet ypedaway )done,
okay
babyI'
m busywi t
hbusinesstransacti
ons,
tr
ansfer
s
andemai l
s"
Me:
"oh.
..
thatmeansI
'
m di
stur
bingy
ouneh"
?
Hi
m:"
wel
l
..
."
Me:
"don'
twor
ryabouti
t,
cal
lyoul
aterke"
Hi
m:"
erh.
..Thanksf
ort
he.
..cal
lbabes"
Me:
"okay
"

Ihungup.
Gotupandmademybed, openedthewi ndowsand
wentt otakeaf ivemi nuteshower:Dt henIreturned
topickoncl othescomf ort
ableenoughf orshopping.
Idecidedtowearkneel engthdenim shorts,
Levi
's
denim sneaker sandawhi teshortsl
eev edgolfshirt
thenIcli
ppedmyhai rneatlyinpl
acenday otyamy
coldmi l
kcer eall
olIwasev enhummi ngsomeChr si
Brownsongsi nv ar
iety:
"
Ineedy
ouboo,
Igot
taseey
ouboo.
Cozt
hehear
tsar
eal
lov
ert
hewor
ldt
oni
ght
sai
dthehear
tsar
eal
lov
ert
hewor
ldt
oni
ght"
:
)
"
Youchangemywhol
eli
fe
Don'
tknowwhaty
ou'
redoi
ngt
omewi
thy
ourl
ove
I
'
mfeel
i
ngal
lsuper
human,
youdi
dthi
stome"
:
)

Iwentupst air
sandpackedchangi ngclothesand
toil
etri
essi ncei wassupposedt osl eepov eratbaes
cribaftertheshoppi ng,t
henIreturnedback
downst airsandt ookthecarkey s,
gr abbeda
carrot,
lockedt hehouseandski ppedmywayt othe
car:Ddi dIsayt hecar ?Hell
naw, ImeantMYcarl e
ndiyibolekwef oronedayngubabywam ^ _^I
pluggedanauxi ncablet omyphoneandt ot hecar
thenIpl ayedol dschool j
amsonmywayt ot he
campusobv i
ouslyalleyesonme: /nott hatIwas
comf ortablewi t
htheat t
enti
onbutIwaspl eased
somehow

Iwal
kedt
ocl
ass
Andat t
endedmyscheduledthencameoutofclass
andwentt oeatatMcDonaldsIdi
dn'
twannacall
Ntandoincasehe'sst
il
lbusy,
Idon'
twannabethat
nagginggir
lf
ri
endtukeshamesoIdecidedtocall
mysister

Her
:"
hel
l
o"
Me:
"yousoundl
i
keahungr
ychur
chmouse"
Her
:"
fucky
ou"
Me:
"I
'm hav
ingl
unchatMcD,
wannacome"
?
Her
:"
youal
one"
?
Me:
"yeahbutnotf
orl
ong"
Her
:"
okayI
'
llber
ightt
her
e"
Me:
"cool
"
Iorderedmyselfachi
ckenwrapperwithsodaanda
bigMacwi t
hCokef orherandwhileshewasn'
there
yetItookacaramelfl
avoredMcFlurr
yandateit
,she
camei nandsawmesi nceIwasn'ttoofar

Her
:"
youor
der
edal
ready
"?
Me:
"yeah"

ShetookmyMcFlur
ryandthewait
ressbroughtmy
food.
..
Itookmyownmeal,
shetookhers

Her
:"
sohowwast
hef
ir
stt
ime"
?
Me:
"f
ir
stt
imewher
e"?
Her
:"
wit
htaBeast
"
Me:"
oohthatfi
rstt
ime?Li
ke,
thi
sisnotapl
acet
o
di
scussol
lathat"
Her
:"
ohcummon,
thesepeopl
eknowwhatsexi
s"
Il
aughedal
mostchoki
ngonmyf
ood

Me:
"okayf
ine.
..I
twasgood"
Her
:"
justgood?Idon'
tbel
i
evet
hat
"
Me:"
itwasgreat.
..
hewasgent
le,
wedidi
tagainand
agai
n..
.someotherti
mewit
houtprot
ect
ion"
Her:
"ohmywor d!
!!Youknowy
oucan'
taf
for
dtobe
pr
egnantr
ightnowr i
ght"
?
Me:"y
eahIknow.
..
onourwayt
otheai
rpor
the
boughtmetheaf
terpi
l
ls"
Her
:"
ohman,
he'
sconsi
der
atet
oo"

Wespokesomemor
e,t
henmyphoner
ang.

Me:
"babe"
?
Hi
m:"
youdi
dn'
tfor
get
"?
Me:
"no,
I
'l
lbet
her
ein20"
Hi
m:"
ayt
"
Me:
"sho"

Wehungup
Me:
"wel
ltodayi
smyt
urn"
Her
:"
you'
resl
eepi
ngov
er"
?
Me:
"yeap"
Her
:"
ohwow!WhatcanIsay
"

Lol
..
.act
uall
y,
nothi
ng.Weatefi
nishIwenttodr
op
herathome,pi
ckedupbaeandwewentt oSandton
ci
tyforthi
sChri
stmasshoppi
nghewant ed.
[
10/
9,18:
31]‪+27730692704‬:
#110

West art
edngempahl azi
kaSino,
fr
om war mt o
seasonalandIevensuggestedbathingsui
tssince
kuthandaubashushuemont i
,
ImeanIknowt hose
peopledon'tr
eall
yneedabeach,t
heycanj ustpour
waterint
oav erybigbasi
nandpretenditsapool.
Thenwepr oceededtoezikaOwe,t
rickwas..
.This
guybel ike:"babeuy azikeakhomnt anam uzonxi
ba
rat
chetapha, don'
tholdbackort hinkabout
cash..
.themai npointisquali
ty,
for
getthebrandbut
thi
nklongev i
ty"soitwaski ndahardyouknow,taki
ng
i
ntoper spectiv
ethatI '
veneverdoneanyshopping
foranyonebutmy selfbutwepul l
editthr
oughandI
wast i
redasAngel Michaelsan.

Me:
"t
hisshoul
dbeenough"
Hi
m:"
it
smor
ethanenough"
Me:
"t
henl
et'
sgo,
myf
eetar
eki
l
li
ngme"
Him:"
butyoudi
dn'
tbuyanythi
ngf
ory our
sel
fandI
'
d
l
ikeustobuysomethi
ngformum too"
Me:
"l
ikewhat
"?
Him:
"Idon'
tknow.
..
faskot
i,
newsetofpot
s,cut
ler
yI
don'
tknow"
Me:"
oh..
.l
et'
sgot
oGamekemay
bey
ou'
l
lsee
somethi
ng"
Hi
m:"
whatar
eyoubuy
ingf
ory
our
sel
f"
?
Me:
"nahI
'
m cool
"
Hi
m:"
shoul
d'
veseent
hatonecomi
ng"

Iwasn'tgonnaargue:vIsti
ll havethosesti
let
tosand
sneakersheboughtmeandbesi des,Idi
dn'
twant
anythi
ngjustyet
...Imean,IjustreceivedaniPhone
forheavenssake: Dwhatelsecoul dIpossi
blywant ?
Wewentl ooki
ngf orhi
smot her'
sgi f
tandweended
upbuy i
ngmor ethanonefrom asetofbaki ngt r
ay s
togril
l
ersandthosemacr oinv enti
onsofcut l
ery
,the
onesthatmakechoppi ng,
slicing,
dici
ngeasier?Yep
those.
..

Hi
m:"
nday
bawel
ayazl
eGal
axyt
ab"
Me:"uzoy
enzani
you'
vegotmor
ethanenough
phones"
Hi
m:"i
twil
lrepl
acet
hel
apt
opI
'
m al
way
scar
ryi
ng
ar
ound"
Me:
"butbabe"
Hi
m:"
okaymay
benotnow,
butIwi
l
lbuyi
tsomet
ime"
Me:
"cool
masambe"

Wewentt opay ,
l
eftGame.Thesethi
ngswer eheavy
andIwasget t
inghungrybytheminut
e: pIwanted
chocol
atesobad.Wewewentt othecarandpacked
thebagsint
othet r
unkthenhesuggestedwegr ab
somethi
ngtoeatbacki nhi
sapart
ment

Me:
"mnandf
unaIseaf
ood"
Hi
m:"
sozendi
tyel
ont
ondi
zol
alamna"
Me:
"youdon'
thav
etoeatwhatI
'
llbeeat
ingkal
ok"
Hi
m:"
ayt
..
.her
e,ambozi
thengel
a"

ItookR200andwentt obuymy selfaseaf ood

pl
atterndabuyaesal i
ndeItakealway szakhekwa
SpurIkeptthechangeandwemadesmal l
conversat
ion,histakealwayswer edeli
veredthenwe
wenthomeIdi dn'
tbuyany t
hingy aznotevenforhim.
Whenwear ri
vedther ewedidn'tevenoffl
oadthe
bags,It
ookmyf ood,hetookhisthenwewenti nsi
de
Me:
"babebagy
am"
Hi
m:"
youl
efti
tint
hecar
"
Me:
"yho,
awuy
ithat
hanga?Awr
ongochar
li
e"

Helaughedandpoint
editonanothercouch,
Iwanted
myphoneIjusthadafeeli
ngIcouldhavemissed
cal
l
sny hanndaf
ikakukhoezi
kaVincesoIcalled
hi
m back

Hi
m:"
hey
,ushar
p"
Me:
"I
'm goody
ou"
Hi
m:"
I'
m okay
..
.j
ustchecki
ngony
ou"
Me:
"t
hreemi
ssedcal
l
sjustf
orchecki
ngonmehuh"
?
Hechuckl
ed:
v
Me:
"how'
sLi
bo"
?

Nt
andost
oleal
ookbutdi
dn'
twannamakei
t
obv
ious

Hi
m:"
Idon'
tknowact
ual
l
y"
Me:
"what
chumeany
oudon'
tknow"
Hi
m:"
Ihav
en'
tspokent
oherl
atel
y"
Me:
"i
sn'
tshecomi
ngt
owor
k"?
Him:
"sheis.
..Ij
usttookdi
fferentshi
ft
s.Idon't
wannatal
ktoherj usty
etandshedoesn' tseem t
o
bemakinganyef f
ortaswell"
Me:
"butVi
ncent
wana"
Him:"
nobabe,shewaswrongi
nthefi
rstplacewhen
shetext
edyoumy st
eri
ousl
yandwheny oucall
ed
sheneverpassedmethemessage,
shewast ot
all
y
outofli
ne"
Me:
"butputy
our
sel
fI'
m hershoes"
Hi
m:"
myshoesf
itmej
ustf
inet
hanky
ou"
:
v
Me:
"Imean.
..
ifsomer
andom guywascal
l
ing
her
,wouldyouj
ustaccepti
tandmov
eon?You
wouldn'
tbesuspi
cious"
Hi
m:"
Idon'tknow.
..
ift
heirf
ri
endshi
pisnosecr
et
t
henIguessIwouldn'
thaveaprobl
em"

Ilookedatbaeandsmi
l
ed.
..
heshookhi
sheadand
focusedonhisfood

Me:
"mh,
you'
renot
hingl
i
key
ourbr
othery
az"
Bae:
"si
ngaqhel
ani
kemaqabane"
Him:"
ohthatone..
.You'
rei
nforal
ongr
unnt
wana.
Thatdudehasissues"
Me:"
Ithi
nkInot
edsomealr
eady..
.l
ook,
canwedo
l
unchtomorr
owaft
ernoonaf
tercl
ass"?
Him:"
I'
llbeatwor
khowaboutwedoi
t,
dur
ingt
he
schoolbreak"
Me:
"f
inebyme"
Hi
m:"
aytseey
out
hen"
Me:
"ni
ghtman"
Hi
m:"
bef
oreIgo.
..
canIasky
ousomet
hing"
?
Me:
"shoot
"
Hi
m:"
arey
oubyanychancewi
thbhut
'
Ntando"
?
Me:
"yeahnanku"
Hi
m:"
khamxel
elndsal
i
ndel
awei
"
Me:
"babe"
?

Hel
ookedup.
..
Me:
"ut
hiuVi
nceusal
i
ndel
awei
"
Hi
m:"
eyphi
way
"?
Vi
nce:
"l
eebet
heuzoy
izosaaphanamhl
anj
e"
Me:
"l
eubut
heuzoy
isakuy
enamhl
anj
e"
Him:
"oh.
..
yho,
tel
lhi
mI'
l
ldr
opi
tbef
oreIl
eav
e
ngomsobabe"
Me:
"uv
il
eneh"
?
Vi
nce:
"yeaht
hanks,
goodni
ght
"
Me:
"shar
p"

Wehungup.

Ihungupndat
yaokwam ukut
ya

Hi
m:"
soni
yand'
di
scusserngok"
Me:
"awv
uyi
sikwenzaIcel
ebr
it
y"?
Hi
m:"
heh"
!

Wefocusedoneati
ng,Iswit
chedthechannel
that
wasplay
ingcozhewasn' tr
eal
lywatchi
ng.Weate
f
ini
shsaqoqoshasobabini

Me:
"I
mat
akeashower
"
Hi
m:"
needhel
p"?
Me:
"wi
thwhat
?Tur
ningt
hewat
eron"
?
Hi
m:"
yeah.
..
itcoul
dbeabi
tst
if
fsomet
imes"
Me:
"haha!Not
hanks"
Hi
m:"
I'
mri
ghtbehi
ndy
ou"
Me:
"you'
renotneeded"
Hi
m:"
Idi
dn'
theart
hat
"

Iwal kedupst airsandundr essed,

wentt othe
bat hroom, woreashowercapandj uststoodthere
meet i
ngt hewat errunthroughfrom thecrownofmy
headt othef oot,
Iindeedshower ed,
thesteam was
star t
ingtomoi stt
hegl asswallsupwhenwal ked,
I
feltacoldbr eezet henhi shandstouchingmybody
from behi nd.

Me:
"babe"
Hi
m:"
don'
t"
Me:
"but
"
Hi
m:"
ssh"
Het ookt hespongeandsoapedi tup, bathingme
from t heneckdown, thenhet urnedandst oodi n
frontofme. ..Thel ooki nhi sey esdev ouredmyi nner
strengt h.Ipul ledandki ssedhi m, heki ssedmeonce
andmov edbackhi shandsdoi ngt het al
king.He
kissedmyneck, bititli
ght l
y,kisseddownt omy
nipples, nibbl ingandbi t
ingont hem t ooandt henhe
mov edbackt oseemyr eaction. ..Iwassomewher e
else.Andt hatmusthav esat i
sf iedhi m cozwhenhe
touchedmeagai n,Icouldr eal lyf eel thehungeri nhis
touches. .
.Hescr ubbedmyl egssof tl
ykneel ing
down, theni namat t
erofsecondsIf elthisl i
pson
me, hotandwet .
..histonguedownt her edoi ng
fl
ipbacks, Ihadt ohol dont ot hesoapr ackf or
suppor t.
..Iwast akenbysur pr iseandmybodywas
heat edupal readysoi tdidn'tt akel ongf ormet o
cum.Butt hatwasj usttooeasyIguess, cozhe
cont inuedeat i
ngupmycooki est oapoi ntIf eltmy
ey esr oll
ingbackwar ds,Ihadhi sheadsecur edr ight
i
npl acemoani ngandsqui rmi ngt henhest opped
andcamet oki ssme: (Iwassooocl oset ol osing
i
t,
toreachingt hepeakandI '
m sureheknewi tqha
i
dlal
angam l ewei.Iwasst i
ll
contemplat
ingont hese
ki
sseswhenhescoopedmeupandwal kedusout
gothebedr oom. .
.st
illwet.Helaymedownont he
coversandwentdownonmeagai n,
hist
alentmade
mesayt hingsIdon' treall
yknow,Iwaseither
cl
utchingont hesheet sfordearli
feorspeakinglol
i
nsomeki ndamot i
vationIdon'tr
eall
yknow: vbut
somet hi
ngr elevantt o:

Me:
"bae.
..
.Ohgodt
hisi
ssooogood.Uhy
es"

WhenIhadcomemul ti
pletimeshecameupandwe
kissed,Iki
ssedhi mt i
llIwassat isf
iedfr
om wit
hin.
Weki ssedt henhet urnedusar oundandgaveme
thecondom, weputi tintogetherandIsquatt
ed
downanddancedmyf atboot yonhim.Hisgri
psand
moanswer ej ustmer emot i
vationthatIwasdoing
therightthi
ngpr operl
y.
[
10/
9,18:
37]‪+27730692704‬:
#111
WhenweweredoneIrest
edmybodyonhi s,
Ifel
t
war
m andwant
ed,l
ovedandsecur
elysaf
erightt
her
e
i
nhisembr
ace.

Hi
m:"
babe"
Me:
"mh"
Hi
m:"
Idon'
twannawast
eti
me,
your
sandmi
net
oo"
Me:
"meani
ng"
Hi
m:"
Iwannamar
ryy
ou"

Erh..
.t
hattookmebysur pr
isekey az.Ididn'
tknow
whatt osaytohi
m,whatifIbindmy selfndingekho
ready?ButwhatifIhur
thisfeeli
ngs?

Hi
m:"
saysomet
hing"
Me:
"i
sn'
ti
ttooear
lyf
ort
hat
"?
Hi
m:"
butIl
ovey
ouandIwannamakei
tof
fi
ci
al"
Me:
"i
tisof
fi
cial
alr
eady
,Iknowy
oul
ovemey
oudon'
t
havetoprov
eittoany
oneel
sebecauseI
'
m
convi
ncedalr
eady"
Hi
m:"
soy
oudon'
twannagetmar
ri
ed"
Me:
"Ido.
..
butnotnow"
Hi
m:"
why
?You'
remat
ureenoughf
orme"
Me:
"babe,
I
'm sti
llf
ini
shi
ngof
fmyfi
rsty
ear
,Imi
ght
aswell
beani l
l
iter
atewif
emos"
Hi
m:"
okayIgety
ou"
Me:
"Il
ovey
ou"
Hi
m:"
Ilov
eyou,
ver
ymuch"
Me:
"andwewi ll
getmarri
edwhenwe'r
eboth
r
eady.
..
Idon'twannadependonyoubutIwantust
o
wor
ktogether"
Hi
m:"
yesma'
am"
Me:
"goodboymymansl
alekengok"
Hi
m:"
lal
aKut
atamnt
anam"
:
)
HahaasmuchasIwant edtoarguelolastpart
..
.I
darednot.Thiswasabeaut i
fulmomentIwasn' t
gonnaspoil i
t.
..
.Half
wayt hroughoutthenight
,hi
s
phonekeptr i
nging,
Itur
nedadeafearbuti tj
ust
wouldn'
tstopsoIst ret
chedmyhandandt ook
i
t,
checkedt hecall
er.
.-_-ndaybekapha.Shecal l
ed
againndamv usathi
st i
meonl ycozIthoughtofu
Owe

Me:
"nana"
Cwaka
Me:
"baby
"
Hi
m:"
mh"
?
Me:
"phone.
..Chuma"
Hi
m:"
mxm,
sumhoy
a.Lal
ababe"

Iputt
hephonedownandt ri
edsleepi
ngagain,
thi
s
damnedphoner angagain.Ididn'
twannabenosyke
aphasogqibandif
umanei siqendusento
endi
ngayaziy
osoj ustputthephonenearhisear
way
that
ha

Hi
m:"
Chuma"
Her
:"
yhomt
chanandsekakeni
,
Ineedy
ourhel
p"
Hi
m:"
mmh"
Her
:"
Ntando"
!!
Hi
m:"
huh"
?
Her
:"
Ithi
nksomeoneisfoll
owingme,
si
nceekseni
manhayIworsekengokthi
ssamecarthathasbeen
f
oll
owingmearoundissti
llf
oll
owi
ngmenangoku"
Hi
m:"
oh"
Her
:"
oh?Hewet
hukhawv
uke"
Hi
m:"
ngubanxeshaChuma"
Her
:"
twent
ypastone"
Hi
m:"
mxm khandy
ekendi
l
alei
npeace"
Her:
"pl
sNt
andoI '
m beggi
ngyou,
whatift
hesepeopl
e
wannahur
tme? myson?Ourson?I'
m actual
l
yonmy
wayhomerightnowwhatift
heystr
ikemesendivul
e
negat
e"

Hemov edali
lthentouchedmybacksomyguess
wasthathewantedtogetupsoImov edoffhi
m
ndal
alanextt
ohim ashesatup,
feetonthefl
oor

Hi
m:"
hehChuma"
?
Her
:"
takaOwent
ando"
Him:
"uhambangobusuku,
ul
andelwezi
zi
thunzel
a
nezi
porhozakhoandt
henyouexpectmetoappear
magical
lywit
haghost
bust
er"
?
Her:
"ohcummon,I
'm deadser
ious.
..
wor
se
sendi
zofi
kaendl
i
ni"
Hi
m:"
ohsouf
unandi
thi
ni"
?
Her:
"hai
bona,
dosomet hing,
anythi
ng.
..
pleaseeveni
f
youcomeher eyour
sel
f,sothatwemayf eelsaf
e
ndi
yakucel
aIdon'twannagethomebesel aphaemva
kwam ababantu"
Hi
m:"
pit
yI'
minJo'
bur
g"
Her:
"ooooohhaybr
a..
.cal
loneofy
ourf
ri
ends
ke.
..
please"
Hi
m:"
wil
lsee"

Thenhehungupandcal
l
edRanger

Range:
"t
aBeast
"
Hi
m:"
Ineedy
out
obewi
deawaker
ightnow"
Range:
"shoboss"
Him:"
gotoChuma'shouse,wai
tforherbyt
he
gate,
makesur
ethey'
resafe"
Range:
"shoul
dIgoal
one"
?
Hi
m:"
takeThr
il
l"
Range:
"okay
"
Hi
m:"
cal
lmewhenshe'
sinsi
det
hehouse"
Hi
m:"
shoboss"
Hehungup, l
ookedbackatmeandcamet okissmy
shoul
der.Iwassoundasl eep..
.noamountofbaby
mammat acti
cswillr
uinmyj oyyet,
maybewhenI '
m
ful
lyl
iketr
ulyli
keentir
elycommi tt
edtothi
s
rel
ati
onshipthei
rdramawi l
laffectme,
Idon'
t
know,maybe.ButokwangokuIdon' twannaruin
thi
ngswithmyi nsecuri
tieshet ol
dmet otr
usthim
andthat'
swhatI '
m doing.

Hi
m:"
bae"
?

Mna?Lelemnamtchanam.Hewalkedaroundand
fi
nal
lywentt
ogetwaterdownst
air
s..
.Chumacall
ed
agai
n

Her
:"
thanky
ou"
Hi
m:"
nowcanIsl
eep"
?
Her
:"
yeahsur
e,enkosi
nyhani
"
Hi
m:"
sur
e"
Hehungupj
ustasRangerwascal
l
inghi
m

Hi
m:"
Danki
esan"
Range:
"sur
eboss,
sowhatnow"
?
Hi
m: "
youcangohome,butI'
l
lneedyoutocheckon
mysontomorrowtheenti
reday.Fr
om whathis
motherwassayi
ng,
they
'r
enotsafeatal
l"
Range:
"coul
ditbebr
aKi
l
laagai
n"?
Hi
m:"Idon'
tknow..
.butIdoubt
,i
tsst
il
lear
lyf
orhi
mto
av
engeMasxole'sdeath"
Range:
"buthewast
hewingmansotheymi
ght
wannatouchyouwher
eithur
tsmost"
Hi
m:"
thatmeansIhav
etobeast
epahead"
Range:
"what
'
syourpl
an"
Hi
m:"i
nfor
mt heguy
s,meet
ingFr
idayatt
he
war
ehouse"
Range:
"goti
t"
Theyhungup.
..
aftersometi
meIfel
thi
scol
dbody
rubbi
ngont
omi ne.ImovedaLi
lcozhewasreal
l
y
cold

Hi
m:"
nana"
Me:
"mh,
hm"
Hi
m:"
baby
"
Me:
"mh.
hmnaf
ondi
n"
Hi
m:"
howdoy
ousl
eepwhi
l
eI'
m awake"
?
Me:
"t
chi
n"

Ndabhekel
andaphindandalala.
..Iwokeuppastfiv
e
andI'
m sur
endivuswey il
aptopy akhebut
tonsand
thetypi
ng:
othelightwasoffbuthewasr eal
l
ybusy
ther
e.Iwokeup,wenttothebathroom ndabuyaehl
eli
onthebedwithoutnolaptop
Hi
m:"
mor
ning"
Me:
"mor
ning.
..
"
Hi
m:"
sleptwel
l
"
Me:
"yeah.
..
what
'
sgoi
ngon,
wit
huChuma"
Hi
m:"
ohshewasbei
ngf
oll
owed"
Me:
"f
oll
owed"
Hi
m:"
yeahbutbar
ightngoku"
Me:
"kay
"

Igoti
nbedndaphindandazamaulal
a.Hegoti
ntoo,
I
l
aymyheadonhi schestndagqumat
hela

Hi
m:"
ushar
pbabe"
?
Me:
"masl
ale"
Hi
m:"
yourbodyi
sheat
ingup"
Me:
"hav
eaheadachet
oo"
Hi
m:"
mustbef
ever
,weshoul
dgot
othedoct
or
ov
ukakwet
hu"
Me:
"yho"
Hi
m:"
heeeekant
iuy
aphi
umnt
uogul
ayo"
?

Idi
dn'
tanswerhi
m.Iwasn'
tpl
ani
ngt
o,any
way
.
[
10/
9,18:
38]‪+27730692704‬:
#112

Whent hesunwasup, hewokeupandwentt ot he

pharmacy ,boughtmef everpi
ll
sonhi swaybackhe
wenttot heShi saNy ama.WhenIwokeup, Ireal
ized
thatIhadst artedmyper iodandt hankGodIhad
broughtmyt oi
letr
iessoIwokeupandwentt obat h
andgotdr essedi nPJs, madet hebedandopened
thewindows.Iwentdownst ai
rscr avi
ngfor
chocolateandsear chedt hefr
idgeakhoni xene
chokiphabutt her
ewasMi locereal:Datleastthat
woulddot hejusti
cebutt heproblem is,
Ican'tr
eal l
y
eatanythingwi thmi lkonmyf irstdayofmenst r ual
cyclesoIj ustboil
edeggs, madeeggmay oonwhi te
breadwithbl ackcof fee,wenttot heloungendat yela
pha.Iwasn'
tgonnacal
lhi
m..
.
Myphonebeeped.
..
messagef
rom Luke:
Imi
ssy
'al
l
.
Ical
l
edhi
m

Hi
m:"
Lil
sis"
Me:
"Luu,
how'
sMumbai
"?
Hi
m:"
greatbuyl
onel
y,
how'
sJo'
bur
g"?
Me:
"t
heusual
,
whenar
eyour
etur
ning"
?
Hi
m:"nextweek.
..
Ican'
twai
t,I
'
mreal
l
yti
redoft
his
pl
ace"

Il
aughedathi m,Iheardacardr
ivi
ngi nbutIdi
dn'
t
putmucht houghtintoitsi
ncet
hisplaceisful
lof
student
s.Butthenaf t
erafewminutessomeone
knocked

Me:
"Igot
tago"
Hi
m:"
seey
a"
Me:
"ay
t"

Ihungupandwentt oopen, ther

ewasnoonebyt he
door .
..Ilookedonthegr oundandt her
ewasasmal l
blackandgol dboxsoIpi ckeditupandwalkedback
i
nsi del ocki
ngthedoor .Iopenedtheboxwithout
thinkingy ouknow,
I'm curiousofcoz.WhenIopened
thel i
dt herewasanot e:

"
Becareful
.Iknowy ou.Iknowwhatyoudo.Iknow
wher
ey ouare.Iknowhowt ogetyou"

Okay .
..t
hatsoundedli
keat hreat:
/butIremov edthe
smal lspongesoIcouldseewhatwasi nsidethenI
sawabul l
etengrav
edBEASTi nboldlet
ters.I
panicked,cl
osedtheboxandwentt ocheckoutal l
thewi ndows,cl
osedthem andwentt ositalonein
thatlounge,Iwasafr
aidbutIcouldn'
tcall
him...
especiall
ywhenIdidn'tknowwher ehewas.
Mybodyheat edupsof ast.
..
Iwasshi veri
ngand
sweati
ngatt hesamet i
me.Iwentupst ai
rsandtook
ashawlcov eringmybodywai ti
ngf orhi mtocome. .
.
Hewasn'tcomi ngtumanandIwasaf rai
dtocall
himthenIhear danot
herknock,
Ididn'tmov e.Again
i
trepeat
edbutIsatst i
lli
nsil
ence..
.Theni twent
wentquiet,
soIgotupandwentt opeepatt hekey
openi
ng,thereseemedt obenoonebutIwasst i
ll
scar
edIdi dn'
topen.Myphoner angIr antoit.
..

Me:
"babeuphi
"?
Hi
m:"
I'
m wi
thVi
nce,
kudal
auv
uki
l
e"?
Me:
"eer
h..
.Uzobuy
ani
ni"
?
Hi
m:"
inaf
ewmi
nut
es,
why
"?
Me:
"not
hing"
Hi
m:"
babe"
?
Me:
"khawenzeubuy
efondi
n"
Hi
m:"
oh-
kay
"
Ihungupandsatont
hecouch,
huggi
ngmyl
egs.
Vincecal
l
ed

Me:
"Vi
ncent
"
Hi
m:"
what
'sgoi
ngon"
Me:
"Idon'
tknow"
Hi
m:"
what
chumeany
oudon'
tknow"
Me:
"Ican'
ttel
lyouont
hephone"
Hi
m:"
sosomet
hingi
sup"
Me:
"vi
ncepl
s"

Ihungupkwangoko.

Ndahlal
awai t
ingfort
hisni
qqatocomehomeIhad
mixedemot i
onsandmybodyheatwasr eall
y
escalat
ing,
ndsal
indenj
alo(
asIwaswaiti
ng)Ihear
da
keyopeningthedoor,
myownf el
lonthefl
oorandhe
walkedin
Me:
"t
hankGod"
Hi
m:"
baby
,ur
ight
"?

Imethim hal
fwayandhuggedhi m soti
ght,
he
brushedmybackassur i
ngl
yandthenIsweartoyou
Icri
ed:'
(Idon'
treallygettoseeali
vebul
letondail
y
basisandIwasn'tsureifIcanst
andseei
ngi t
again,
well
notli
ket hisanyway
Hi
m:"
okay.
..
calm down,comel
et'
ssitdownthentel
l
mewhat'
sgoingon..
.damnyou'
rereal
lyheat
ing"

Wesatdown,Ihuggedmyl egsndathul
a..
.hewai
ted
andawai
tedcabaifunandithet
helewayandI
want
edtobutIwasaf rai
d,
whati fheget
shurt?What
i
fwegethurttoget
her?

Hi
m:"
kwenzekani
ke"
?
Me:
"I
..
.Someone.
..Mxm Idon'
tknow"
Hi
m:"
babe"
Me:
"youhav
eapr
esent
..
.Ther
e"

Hef ollowedmyl ook,

gotupandcheckedoutt hebox
then,Ilookedathimforresponsebutha.asana
akothuki (he'
snotshocked)akanamsindo(he'
snot
angry )hewasj ustpl
ainemot i
onl
essIguessIcan'
t
real
lybl amehim cozthisi
slikesecondnatur
eto
him

Hi
m:"
whenwast
hisdel
i
ver
ed"
?
Me:
"Idi
dn'
tcheckt
ime.
..
butnotsol
ongago"

Hecal
l
edMar
c..
.

Mar
c:"
Bigguy
"
Hi
m:"
Pol
o,y
ougood"
Mar
c:"
doper
,sup"
?
Him:
"aseedwasdel
i
ver
edt
omydoor
stepacoupl
e
ofmi
nutesago"
Mar
c:"
anony
mous"
Hi
m:"
yes"
Mar
c:"
okay
,we'
l
lgetdownoni
t
Hi
m:"
sho"
Mar
c:"
whenar
eyoucomi
ngback"
?
Hi
m:"
tomor
rowaf
ter
noon"
Mar
c:"
shar
p"

Hehungupandcamet ositdown.
..
sti
l
lhol
dingthe
bul
let
,hetri
edtouchi
ngmeImov edawayhel ooked
atmet henbackatthebul
l
et

Hi
m:"
I'
m sor
ryy
ouhadt
oseet
his"

Ij
ustl
ookedahead
Him:"babe,
thi
sisjustascar
etact
ic.Ipr
omi
sey
ou,
I
'l
l
neverletanyt
hinghappentoyou"
Ist
il
lhadnot
hingt
osay
Hi
m:"
I'
m mor
ewor
ri
edaboutt
hef
evert
hough"
Me:
"Ineedsomepai
nki
l
ler
s"
Hi
m:"
Iboughty
out
hese"

Itookthepharmaceutical
bagandr emoved
painkil
ler
sndaphakamanday ozi
khelel
aamanzi (I
gotupandwentt odrinkwater)Idrankdownt hr
ee
i
nst eadoftwothenIwentupstair
s,goti
nbedand
coveredmy sel
f.
..
maybewhenIwakeuphe' llj
usttel
l
meIhadabaddr eam andIwassl eepwalki
ng.
[
10/
9,18:
38]‪+27730692704‬:
#113

Hewal
kedi
nandsatdownont
hebed

Hi
m:"Ineedyoutobel
ievemewhenIsayIwoul
dn'
t
l
etanythi
nghappentoyoubabe"
Iwassl
owlydr
if
tingoff
..
.andIl
ovedt
hedr
owsy
feel
i
ngofal
lofthesepi
ll
s.

Him:"Itol
dy ouIl
eadaverydanger
ouslif
e,y
oucan
neverber eadyorpr
epar
ef ort
hesethi
ngs.Youj
ust
havet oli
veeachdaywit
hgr at
it
udeifi
tendsinyour
fav
our .Baby"?

Iwasf
astasl
eep.
..

Hepacedar ound,
tookhisphonesandl aptopt henhe
wentdownst ai
rsstar
tedasat ell
it
esear chlocating
all
hismenandcommuni cat
ingwi ththem...WhenI
wokeup,myent i
rebodywasst il
lti
red,
Istil
lhada
l
ightheadachebutIwashungr ytoosoIwal ked
downstai
rs,passedhim andwentt othekitchen.
TherewasaMcDonal dsbox,Iignoreditandmadea
sti
rfr
ywi t
hchickenli
versandpast a.Hewal kedi nas
Iwascooking
Hi
m:"
babe"
Me:
"mh"
Hi
m:"
canwet
alk"
Me:
"ar
en'
twet
alki
ng"

Hetouchedmyarm,Ihadshi
ver
smywholebodyand
Isweartoyouhef
eltmybodysti
ff
eni
ngathi
stouch
wandij
onga

Me:
"I
..
.I'
m sor
ry"
Hi
m:"
don'
t.
..
Iunder
stand"

Iwasalmostdonewi ththecookingsoIswi
tchedoff
thest
oveandt ur
nedt ohim..
.i
fdadwashereIswear
he'
dhaveslappedmet hri
ce,
j
ustf orl
ovi
ngt
hisguy
l
ikeIdi
dandIper fect
lyknewt hathelov
esmethe
samewayandev enmor e.
Hi
m:"
plsdon'
tbeaf
rai
dofme"
Me:"
I'
m not
,I
'
m mor
eaf
rai
dofwhatcoul
dhappent
o
you"
Hi
m:"
I'
m abi
gboybaby
,don'
twor
ryy
our
sel
fabout
me"

Il
ookedathi
m,heki
ssedt
hebr
idgeonmynose
Hi
m:"
yourbr
otheraskedy
ourwher
eabout
s"
Me:
"Ihopey
oudi
dn'
ttel
lhi
m"
Hi
m:"
Idi
dn'
t.
..
Iknewy
ouwoul
dn'
ttel
lhi
m"
Me:
"yousav
edusal
otoft
roubl
e,
thanks"
Hi
m:"
not
hanky
ou"

It
urnedanddi
shedoutformyselfl
eav
inghi
mthereI
wenttosi
tint
helounge.
..
hef
ollowedwit
hbott
led
water
Hi
m:"
yourf
everi
sn'
tdecr
easi
ng"
Me:
"j
usty
et.
..
whatt
imey
oul
eav
ing"
?
Hi
m:"
I'
m notsur
eifIst
il
lcan"
Me:"
no,
no.Youpromisedy
ourmom,youhaveto
del
i
ver,
unl
essyou'
renotamanofyourword"
Him:
"uyazbonaphofbaunjanikwawenakodwa
you'
repushingmetogo,
leavingyoui
nthi
sstat
e"
Me:
"Icant
akecar
eofmy
sel
f"
Hi
m:"
I'
m sur
e,butIwannat
akecar
eofy
ou"
Me:
"mxm khawgodukeuy
ekumamakhoNt
ando"
Hi
m:"
yho,
okayf
inendi
vi
le"

Ir
oll
edmyey
esandcont
inuedeat
ing.
WhenIwasdonehet
ookmythingbacktot
he
ki
tchen,
Idr
ankt
hemedsandwatchedTV

Hi
m:"
hel
pmepack"
Me:
"saypl
s"
Hesmi
l
ed

Hi
m:"
babepl
scomehel
pmepack"

Igotupandfoll
owedhi
m upst
air
s..
.west
art
ed
packi
ngsincokol
anj
e.

Me:
"andsay
bawel
iIchoki
bra"
Hi
m:"
we'
l
lgeti
tonourwayt
otheai
rpor
t"
Me:
"we'
regoi
ngt
oget
her
"?
Hi
m:"
awzondkhapha"
?
Me:
"ndi
buy
engant
oni
"?
Hi
m:"
I'
ll
leav
eyout
hecar
"
Me:"
andI '
l
lbecomeat ar
get
,dr
ivi
ngy
ourcarar
ound
Jo'
burg.
..Nothanks"
Him:"
okayI
'
llcal
lVi
nceahambenat
hiubuy
engay
e
ke"
Me:
"kay
"

Wecont
inued.
.unt
ilev
ery
thi
ngwasi
nor
der
.

Me:
"Ineedy
out
opr
omi
semeonet
hing"
Hi
m:"
yoursoundser
ious"
Me:
"mxm khamamel
e"
Hi
m:"
ubossyf
uthi
"
Me:"
whatever
!Anyway,
plspr
omi
set
ocal
lmewhen
youreachhome,
ImissSino"
Hi
m:"
Icandot
hat
"
Me:
"t
hanky
ou"
Him:"
don'
tthankmej
usty
et.
..
Ist
il
lhav
eal
ongf
li
ght
aheadofme"
Me:
"i
tsonl
yanhourl
ong,
orl
esser
"
Hi
m:"
yeahwhat
ever
"
Whenwewer
edonewel
ayont
hebedt
oget
her
,ver
y
cl
ose.

Hi
m:"
Ineedy
out
opr
omi
semeonet
hing"
Me:
"ohkay
"
Hi
m:"
itt
hisf
evercont
inues,
you'
l
lgoseeadoct
or"
Me:
"pr
omi
se"
Hi
m:"
goodgi
rl
"

Lol
wasIsupposedt
oanswert
hat
?

Me:
"what
chupl
anni
ngt
odowi
tht
hatbul
l
et"
?
Hi
m:"
don'
twor
ryaboutt
hat
,Ihav
eitundercont
rol
"
Me:
"you'
renotanswer
ingt
hequest
ion"
Him:"
Idon'
tpl
anongi
vi
ngy
ouast
rai
ghtf
orwar
d
answerbabe"
Me:
"f
airenough"
Hi
m:"
it
sfort
hebest
"
Me:
"mmh"

Hi
sphoner
ang.
..

Hi
m:"
Chuma"
Her
:"
Hiunj
ani
"
Hi
m:"
ndi
ri
ghtwena"
Her
:"
I'
m cool
.
..Owewannaspeakt
oyou"
Hi
m:"
giv
ehi
mthephone"
Owe:
"t
ata"
Hi
m:"
boy
,what
'
sup"
Owe:
"Imi
ssy
ou"

Ncooh^
_^

Hi
m:"
Imi
ssy
out
oochap,
promi
seI
'
llcomeseewhen
I
'
vel
anded"
Owe:"
didyout
ell
makhul
uIwannav
isi
therf
ort
he
hol
i
days"?
Hi
m:"
nobutI
'
llt
ell
hert
oni
ght
"
Owe:
"okayke.
..
uzondphat
hel
ant
oni
xaubuy
atat
a"?
Hi
m:"
ufunant
oni
kal
okwena"
?
Owe:
"ndf
unaIbi
cycl
ener
ugbybal
l
"
Him:"
Icanbr
ingtherugbybal
lbuty
onai
bicy
clewi
l
l
havetowai
tunti
lyou'
re13"
Owe:
"yho.
..
okayby
eby
e"
Hi
m:"
seey
ouFr
idayLi
lman"
Owe:
"yessi
r"
Her
:"
Uthi
uOweuy
abuy
aFr
iday
"
Hi
m:"
so"
?
Her:
"wel
l.
..
Iwaswonder
ingi
fIshoul
dpackf
or
hi
m,orsomethi
ng"
Hi
m:"
no,
don'
tpackI
'
llj
ustcomeseehi
m ndi
mshi
ye"
Her
:"
ohokay
,whatt
imewi
l
lthatbe"
Hi
m:"
byl
uncht
imeIt
hink"
Her
:"
okaysoIcanpr
epar
elunchneh?You'
l
ljoi
nus"
Hi
m:"
Chuma,
ushar
p"?
Her
:"
yeahwhy
"
Him:"
you'
reacti
ngstr
ange.
..
anywayf
orgetIsai
d
anyt
hing,
I
'l
lsendGuddatofet
chOwefrom school
"
Her
:"
heeehai
boNt
ando"
Hi
m:"
shar
p"

Hehungup.
..
.
I
nlessthanami
nut
eAnel
i
sacal
l
ed:
vlegendkel
e
i
ntombazana

Hi
m:"
Anel
i
sa"
Her
:"
mol
o,unj
ani
"
Hi
m:"
uzondenzanbandi
njani
"
Her
:"
eeuw,
you'
rebi
tt
er.
..
any
way
,how'
smybabygi
rl
"
Hi
m:"
your
"?
Her
:"
uSi
no,
unj
ani
.Imi
ssher
"
Hi
m:"
uSi
no?Uphi
"?
Her
:"
haysundenzamuncuIknowsi
noi
swi
tchu"
Hi
m:"
uphambene,
didy
oubr
inghert
ome"
?
Her
:"
Ilef
theraty
ourf
lat
"
Hi
m:"
wher
einmyf
lat
"?
Her
:"
hai
manNt
ando"
Him:
"sundphambanel
awenauy
eva?Sundqhel
a
Anel
i
sa"
Her
:"
but
..
..
"
Hi
m:"
fokof
"

Hehungup.

Me:
"wast
hatnecessar
y"?
Hi
m:"
don'
t"
Oooohkayo.
O

.
..
atl
eastChumadi
dn'
tcauseanydr
ama.
[
10/
9,18:
38]‪+27730692704‬:
#114

Whent hetimef orhimtogoarri

vedndiv
engeknock
kaVincent,hegotupandwentt oopenupforhim so
whenIhear dt heirvoi
cesIgotupandpackedmy
ownt hi
ngs,includingthemedsheboughtme.I
changedandwor eblackski
nnyjeanswi
ththewhit
e
Chucks,ri
ppedt opandhoodi eandazwhybutIreal
l
y
wasn'tfeel
ingwel l
.WhenIwasdoneIwent
downstairsfikebencokolaanddr i
nki
ng

Vi
nce:
"heyy
ou"
Hi
m:"
nguCcwakhoKel
o"
Me:
"Vi
nce"
Vi
nce:
"Ccwam?HaycummonBhut
i"
Me:
"don'
tl
ist
ent
ohi
m"

Iwentt othekitchenandt
ookbott
ledwater
ndasela,r
eturni
ngbacktothel
oungeandsatdown
nexttobae,leaningmyheadonhim..
.onhisshoul
der

Vi
nce:
"mmmhsomeonei
sfeel
i
ngsomehow"
Hi
m:"
uzol
i
laubabekwedi
ni"
Vi
nce:
"shemightaswel
lj
ustcr
y..
.I'
m her
efory
ou
nt
wanay am"
Me:
"mxm.
..
babeuhambani
nikant
i"
Him:
"I
'm wait
ingforMotocal
lmel
astt
imeIcal
l
ed
hewasstil
li
nt heCape"
Me:
"kay
"

Ikeptmymout hshutastheyconver
sedaboutthei
r
ownst uf
f,
well
whowoul dbejumpingupanddown
withexci
tementwhenherboyfri
end'
sleav
ingtown?
Hisphonebeeped
Hi
m:"
Mongezi
sef
iki
l
e"
Vi
nce:
"t
henweshoul
dgo.
..Tr
eeeenaaaa"
Me:
"yangxol
amanVi
ncent
"
Vi
nce:
"nccoooh"

Heeeh!Bavelabahlekabobabini
Ifol
l
owedasbae
wentupstair
shet ookallhi
sbagsdownandcame
backasItookmyownhehuggedmef r
om behi
ndi
n
si
lenceIbreathedinhisscent

Hi
m:"
Ilov
eyou"
Me:
"Iknow,
I
'mj
ustgonnami
ssy
ou"
Hi
m:"
I'
ll
sti
l
lcal
lyouev
ery
day
,not
hingwi
l
lchange"
Me:
"kay
"

It
urnedandhuggedhim sot
ightt
henIstr
engt
hen
myself
,ai
n'
tgonnasl
opearoundasifhe'
sgoi
ngto
Mozambi
queorsomet
hing.

Me:
"okayl
over
,l
et'
sgo"
Him:
"oh,
j
ustl
i
ket
hat
?Thoughty
ouwer
ecr
yingj
ust
now"

It
ookmybagsandwal
kedout
Me:"
tear
swon'
tstopy
oufrom goi
ng,
so.
..Go
home,l
emmealsogohome"

Ndamshiy
aapho:vhefoll
owedandwewentt
o
Vi
ncent
'scarbaecametositwi
thmeatt
hebackas
Vi
ncedroveustotheai
rpor
t

Hi
m:"
remembert
hepr
omi
se"
Me:'
'
Iknowdad,
I
'l
lgot
othedoct
ori
fthef
ever
cont
inues"
Hi
m:"
goodgi
rl
..
.Iwannal
eav
eyouwi
thsomecash
butknowi
ngy
ou,
that
'
snotsuchagoodi
dea"
Me:
"noI
'
mfi
ne"
Him:
"butI'
l
l doanint
ernettransf
ercozIcan'
ttel
lyou
togotothedoctorwithoutgivi
ngyou
somethi
ng,uzoyangantonikulogqi
rhakengok"?
Me:"It
hinkI
'
m bi
genoughBUTitsnousear
gui
ng
aboutwhatwebothknowyou'
l
ldoanyway"

Wearri
vedeair
por
tandhel
pedhim wi
thhi
s
l
uggage.
..
hehadapri
vat
econver
sati
onwit
hhis
br
othert
henhecameandhuggedme.Wekissed.
..

Me:
"mxm j
ustgo"
Hechuckl
ed:
v
Him:
"I'
l
lgo..
.j
ustdon'
tcal
lmei
nanhourt
ell
i
ngme
you'
remissi
ngme"
Me:
"I
'm ent
it
ledt
odot
hatt
chi
n"
Hel
aughed.
..
wehuggedagai
nthenhel
eft
.
Vincet
ookmehome.
..
Luke'
shouse.Hedr
oppedme
atthedoor

Hi
m:"
you'
l
lbeal
ri
ght
"
Me:
"yeah,
I
'm cool
.Thanks"
Hi
m:"
meantwhatIsai
d,cal
lmei
fyouneedany
thi
ng"
Me:
"Idoubt
..
butt
hanksany
way
"

Wehuggedandhel eft
,Iwalkedinsi
deandsear
ched
forIChoky:/l
ikether
e'snotev enonepl
aceint
his
bighousethathasevensmar t
iesorm&mske?AyI
resor
tedincall
ingEveatleastshewasstil
li
ntown
orsomethingsinceshewasn' thome

Her
:"
aunt
y"
Me:
"mommy
,Ineedaf
avor
"
Her
:"
asl
ongasIwon'
tbeki
l
li
ngaper
son,
shout
"
Me:
"Ineedchocol
ate.Pl
s"
Her
:"
youneedchocol
ateory
ouwantchocol
ate"
?
Me:
"Ineedi
t.
..
I'
vebeencr
avi
ngi
tsi
ncey
est
erday
"
Her:
"whydi
dn'
tyourmanbuyi
tfory
ou?I!
mean,
he
canaff
ordaLi
ndtoraFer
rer
oRocheri
ght
"?
Me:
"mxm"
Her
:"
mxm y
our
sel
f"

Ihungup:(Iwasn'
tgonnacook.Iwasn'
tgonnacal
l
NtandobutIhadtocal
lmybrother:
Df i
ndouthow
j
uniori
sdoing.

Hi
m:"
MissSmi
tht
hel
astbor
n"
Me:
"MrSmi
tht
hef
ir
stbor
n,howar
eyou"
?
Hi
m:"
I'
m busybusy
,howar
eyou"
?
Me:
"I
'm bor
ed"
Hi
m:"
wel
lJuni
orcoul
duseaf
ri
end"
Me:
"Ihav
ecl
assesonFr
idayandIdon'
thav
eenough
moneyt
ofl
ytot
hecape"
Hi
m:"
wel
lIcoul
dor
gani
zesomet
hingf
ory
ou"
Me:"
okay.
..
let
'sseehownextweekgoest
henI
'
ll
sur
elycome"
Hi
m:"
cool
wit
hme,
pul
lEv
eal
ong"
Me:
"she'
l
lcome.
..How'
sthenewmommydoi
ng"
?
Him:"
she'
slovingeverymomentoft
hese
changes.
..
I'
m sti
ll
adjust
ing"
Me:
"andy
oushoul
dpr
ior
it
izenow"
Hi
m:"
Iknow.
..So,
youandt
hebi
gguy
"
Me:
"uh-
oh"
Him:
"nomandon'
tbeli
ket
hat
..
.Ij
ustwannaknow,
i
s
hetr
eati
ngy
ouwell
"?
Me:
"sof
arsogood"
Hi
m:"
didhet
ell
youabouthi
sbabymommas"
?
Me:
"yes,
I
'vemethi
ski
dst
oo"
Hi
m:"
wel
lbewar
ned,
Chumai
sst
il
lhungonhi
m"
Me:
"Inot
iced,
doy
out
hinkshe'
sat
hreat
"?
Hi
m:"Idon'
tknow..
.butI'
veheardthatbabymommas
al
wayshaveaspeci al
placeespecial
lyi
ftheybor
ea
ni
ggahisfi
rstson"
Me:
"ay
..
.Idon'
tknowhey
"
Him:"
wellyouchosethi
sli
fe,
youj
ustneeda
backbonenow,unl
essyouwannatur
nback"
Me:
"youdon'
tchoosel
ove"
Hi
m:"
Iknow.
..
lookatLi
zzy
"
Me:
"she'
sgoodf
ory
ou,
Iguess"
Hi
m:"
shei
s..
.any
way
,goodl
uck"
Me:"
haha!Wow,
thanky
ou.Nev
ert
houghty
ouwoul
d
sayt
hat"
Hi
m:"
I'
m happywheny
ouar
e"
Me:
"ev
eni
fmyhappi
nessmaycomewi
thdanger
"?
Him:"
we'r
eont hesamepat
h..
.t
houghIwoul
dn'
t
haveli
keditt
obe"
Me:
"wear
e"?
Hi
m:"
nev
ermi
nd"
Me:
"hm,
ayt
..
.seey
ou"
Hi
m:"
seey
a"

Mmhkay
..
.Af
tert
hatcal
lIj
ustl
azedi
nthathouse.
[
10/
9,18:
38]‪+27730692704‬:
#115

Mysist
ercanbackwithabatchofRoche:
D,
chocol
atemuf
fi
nf l
ourandsheevenboughtmet
hat
l
astnumberCudbarysl
ab:p

Me:
"aah-
huh!Al
lthi
ngschocol
ate"
Her
:"
Idon'
ttohearany
thi
ngaboutchocol
ate,
her
e
t
akeyourt
hings"
Iki
ssedhercheekandt ookmyt hi
ngs,
wewentt ot
he
ki
tchenandbakedt oget
her,
obvi
ouslyshewasnosy
aboutmyrelat
ionshipandIansweredallher
questi
onsi
manei ndihl
ekalewaimockingontheage
dif
fer
ence:v
Myphoner
ang.
..
pri
vat
enumber

Me:
"hel
l
o"
Her
:"
hi,
whoam Ispeaki
ngt
o"?
Me:
"whower
eyoucal
l
ing"
?
Her
:"
aper
sonbyt
henameTr
ina"
Me:
"i
nper
son,
whoam Ispeaki
ngt
o"?
Her:"
mxm, canyoujustgetmeoutoft hefog,
li
ke
whatdoesachi ldli
keyouwantwi t
hNt ando?I
putsunanaenjengaweman, what
?Isitthemoneyor
you'r
ejustatt
ractedtothebadboys"?
Iputt
hephoneonl
oudandl
ookedatEv
e

Me:
"Idon'
tunder
stand"
Her:
"Iknowy ou,
you'r
ethenewchickinhi
slif
e..
wait
didIcallyouchi
ck?Ohy eah,
Imeanyou'r
ejustl
ike
i
ntshontsholenkukubutwhatI'
dli
ketounderst
and
i
swhyy ou'r
ewithhim?Youshouldbefocusi
ngon
yourstudiesnotonmen,especi
all
ynotmenlike
Ntando,
nextthi
ngyou'l
lgetpregnantandthenwhat?
Ourchil
drenwil
lbecomenonexi st
entbecausekal
ok
kukholekukuint
shainencasa"
Me:"
mh.
..Idon'
tseehowt
hiswhol
ethi
ngaf
fect
s
you"
Her:"youdon'
tandyouwon't,
ngxaky akhoy ou'r
etoo
gull
ibleuvumayonki
ntoay
t hethayo..
.You'r
ej ustl
i
ke
therestofthem y
ouknow,goingar oundsleeping
withmenwhodon' tevenl
ov ey ou,
whoar ewaaaay
abov eyourl
evelt
henyouthinky ou'
vearri
ved"
Ev
e:"y
ouneedagl
assofwat
ermydear
,you'
reso
bi
tt
er"
Her:
"I
'm notbi
tt
er,
I
'mj
ustconcer
ned..
.wherewil
l
yourl
if
eend?Asamat t
eroffact
,howwilli
tend"
?
Me:"agai
n,
Idon'
tunder
standhoweventhatone
aff
ectsyoucozthat
'sf
ormet obeworr
iedaboutnot
you"
Her
:"
you'
reasst
ubbor
nast
heycomehuh"
?
Me:
"Chumaweh,
youexpect
edmet
ojustki
ssy
our
f
eetandsayy
esma'am"?
Her
:"
I'
m notChu-
"
Me: "I
'm surey ou'renot,butanywayt akethismy
dear .
..
seey oul ov
edNt andor i
ght?Ohwai t
,Imeant
youl oveNt andobutt heny oucouldn'tstomachthe
truthwheni tfacedy ou.Youwant edtomakehi m
princechar mi ng,t
hekni ghtinshi
ni ngarmor
..everyt
hingt hathewasn' tsoinsteady ouchoseto
runawayl iket heprodigalson,pi
t yyouhadason
already.Thesamesony ou'
reusingt ogettohim,t
o
gethi sattention"
Her
:"I
'
m notusi
ngmysontodoanythi
ng,
don'
tyou
dar
einvol
vemysoni
nthisconv
ersati
on"
Ev
e:"ohsonowy
ou'
vebecomeChumai
nwhat
?A
minute"
?
Me:"anyway,
whenAnelisacameal ongy oudi
dn't
carebecausey ouknewshewoul dn'tl
ast,
am Ir
ight
?
Urghdon'tanswerthat
..
.butnowt hatyou'
veheard
fr
om y ourf
ri
endsandy ourbelov
edsonwhatki nda
personIam..nowy ouf
eel t
hreat
enedbecausey ou'
re
asmar tass,
youknowagoodt hi
ngwheny ouseeit
"
Her
:"
ther
e'snot
hinggoodi
nyourr
elat
ionshi
pwi
tha
manwhohast
woki
dswi
thdi
ff
erentmot
her
s"
Ev
e:"atl
easthedon'
thav
eai
dsorsomei
ncur
abl
e
di
sease"
Her:"whatdidhepr omi
seyou,acar
?Mansi on?To
payy ourfees?Ohy es,
hemustbepay i
ngy our
fees..
.he'
sagoodmanwi thagoodhear tsothat'
s
whyy ou'resogull
ibley
outhinkhelov
esy oujustcoz
he'spay i
ngyourfees?Babygirl
youneedt ogrowup
becausey ou'r
ejustachari
tycasekuye.Nothi
ng
mor e"
Me:"sowhaty ou'r
et el
l
ingmei sthatt
hehousey ou
l
ivein,
thecary ou'
redrivi
ng,
yourschoolfeesand
mostpr obabl
yt hejobyouhave..
.hegavet hem t
o
you?Girl,
doyouknowt hewordindependence"?
Her
:"Idon'
tgetment
opaymybi
l
lsorany
thi
ngel
se
f
orthatmatter
"
Eve:"
tal
kingaboutgr
owingup..
.It
hinki
tsti
meyoudo
thatyouknow,cozri
ghtnowyousoundlikeanai
ve
teenagerwhojustl
ostherf
ir
stboyfri
endtosome
cougar"
:
vIwant
edt
olaughsobad.
..
Idi
dn'
texpectt
hatone
Her:
"I
'm warni
ngyou..
.st
ayawayfrom Nt
ando,
i
fyou
knowwhat '
sbestforyou,
stayawayf
rom hi
m"
Ev
e:"
orwhat
"
Her
:"
don'
ttr
ymel
i
ttl
egi
rl
"
Me:
"i
shey
ourf
ir
stl
ove"
?
Her
:"
am Isupposedt
oanswert
hat
"?
Me:"wellIwast oldthaty ou'rehunguponhi m so
badsoIt hought ,
heisy ourf ir
sty ouknow...
your
atti
tuderightnowex plainsi tsowel l
,dontworryits
most l
yunder st
andabl ebuti tsapi t
yy ouwerenothi s
fi
rstandy oudidn'tevenst ickar oundtobehi slast
ohwai t
,wecan'treallypr edictthefuturebutwebot h
knowy ou'renothiscur rent"
Her:
"i
fIwant
edNtandoIpromi
sey
ouIwoul
d'
vehad
hi
m bynow,Idon'
twanthi
m"
Me:"buty
ouneedhim..
eyIknowcapeTownweather
canbesocr uel
youknow,
ikwenzeuci
ngei
zdal
a
zakhoNontombi"
Her
:"
eli
hasheukhwel
ekul
oli
zokuwi
samnt
anam"
Me:"
Iknow,
that
'swhyIdon'
trunwi
thi
t,
ndi
yal
i
cenga
mfaz"
Eve:"
eerh.
.Li
lgi
rl
,wewerekindabusyso,
canwejust
getbacktowork.Weain'tgotti
metonurseyour
patheti
cego"
Her
:"
we?Am Inott
alki
ngt
oTr
inakant
i"
?
Eve:
"you'
resuchadumbassy
ouknow,youcan'
t
ev
enheart hatt
her
earet
wodif
fer
entv
oicesher?No
wonder"
Her
:"
what
?Mxm f
uckof
f,
bot
hofy
ou"
Eve:"
youdon'twantthat
..
Imeanprett
ysoon,
she'
ll
be
fucki
nghim off
,get
ti
ngsweatyandandwetbutyou'l
l
bealoneinabigcoldbedsomi ndyourt
ongue,
don't
tel
lustofuckoff"
Her:
"pr
ettysoon?Thatmeansyoudon'
tl
iv
e
ar
ound,butIthoughty
oul
iveherei
nCapeTown"
Me:
"ngxaki
yakhoumuncu"
Ev
e:"
nowy
ouf
ucky
our
sel
fof
f"
Wehungup. .
.Lolandpr etendedli
kewenev erhad
thatcall
.Webakedsagqi baIwaseat i
ngmyRoche
onthesi de,i
tmel t
ednicelyonmyt ongueleavi
ng
thatnuttocr unch.Whenwewer edonewewent
downst ai
r sIhel
pedherwi thherassignment,
weate
ourmuf finssadlal
aIPSandshewasbeat i
ngmel ike
nobody sbusiness:'(Icanpl ayagainstMarcorLuke
andwi n,f
airsquarebutEv e?Yhowaf undi
swakak'hle
nguBensanasheknowsherst uff
.

Lwandocamet
oseeher
..
.
Shel ef
tandwenttohi
scarout
side,
songonwabi
ngoba?Umnt uwendl
uakekhomos>_ <baby
call
ed,ngat
huyevabandi
shi
ywendedwakul endl
uas
muchasIwashappywhenIsawhi scall
..
.whenI
pickedup,mymoodimmediat
elychanged

Me:
"l
ow"
Hi
m:"
Imi
ssy
ou"
Me:
"ur
ight
"
Hi
m:"
I'
m ser
ious"
Me:
"soam I
"
Hi
m:"
ohkay
,whatdi
dIdo"
?
Me:
"howam Isupposedt
oknow"
?
Hi
m:"
thenwhyndi
phoxwakangaka"
?
Me:
"sekt
heni
ngokndi
founel
wangooChumabakho"
?
Hi
m:"
wai
t,
shecal
l
edy
ou"
?
Me:
"awphendul
imbuzongombuzo"
Hi
m:"andi
yazkal
okubabyI
'
m notev
eni
ntheCape
nj
e"
Me:
"I
'm nopl
aygr
oundkemnake"
Hi
m:"Iknowthat.
..
babewhyyoul
ashi
ngoutonmeI
di
dn'
tgiveheryournumber
"
Me:
"wel
lsomeonedi
d"
Hi
m:"
inj
ani
Ifev
er"
?
-
_-
Me:
"i
ri
ght
"
Hi
m:"hav
eyoust
oppedheat
ing?Youdr
inki
ngt
he
meds"
Me:"
youdoknowit
snotbeenupt
oev
ent
hreeday
s
oraweeksi
nceyoulef
tri
ght
"?
Hi
m:"
awphendul
imbuzo"
Me:
'
'ewendi
yawasel
a"
Hi
m:"
good.I
'
llcal
lyoubackl
ater
"

Hehungup: /well guessthat '

swhaty ougetwhen
beingadr amaqueenf ornonsense.It ookmy
phonesandwentupst air
s,wentt ot hebat hr oom t o
changedt hesanitarytowel thennday olala,j
ustan
aft
er noonnapwet huandndal al
any hani.
..WhenI
wokeup, itwasl ate..
.veryl
at e.Ijustchangedi nto
PJsandwentbackdownst ai r
sEv ewascuddl edwi th
LD: /ont hecouchwat chingsomechi ckfli
ck, lolI
j
ustpassedwi thouti nter
feringIt ookt hreemuf f
ins
andmadecof f
eet henIwal kedbackt omyr oom
ndaty el
apha.It ookmyf ir
stphonet ocheck
messagesbutt her ewer enone, onlyt wof rom
Ntandoont henewphone.Mymoodwasl ighter:D
soIcal
l
edhi
m,andIwashopi
ngt
ospeakt
oSi
no

Hi
m:"
S'bongi
l
e"
Thatbummedmest
rai
ght:
/
Me:
"mi
ssedcal
l
s"
Hi
m:"
wai
t(hecal
l
ssi
noont
hebackgr
ound)"
Her
:"
mama"
^
_^
Me:
"heeeey
,unj
ani
"?
Her
:"
phi
l
il
enj
anwena"
Me:
"phi
l
il
enam"
Her
:"
yakhumbul
amama"
Me:
"ndakukhumbul
anam,
kumandi
emont
i"
?
Her
:"
e.emakhul
uuphekai
nyama"
Me:
"mmh,
uyay
aeskol
weni
"?
Her
:"
eweut
hiumi
ssndi
l
atemna"
Me:
"my
ekeumi
ssev
ha"
?
Her
:"
okay
..
.gr
annysay
syoumustcome"
Me:
"yho,
mxel
elezoza"
Lol
sheanswer
shert
henget
sbackt
ome

Her:
"mama,
uthi
utat
athengel
wenguwempahl
aze
kr
ismesi
"
Me:
"hesai
dso"
?
Her
:"
yes.
..
thanky
ou"
Me:
"you'
rewel
comemyl
ove"
Her
:"
byeby
e"
Me:
"by
eby
esi
si"
Her
:"
inat
atakal
ok.
..
"

Lol
Ihungup:
D
Hecal
l
edagai
n

Me:
"hi
"
Hi
m:"
whydi
dyouhangup"
?
Me:
"It
houghtI
'
m donet
alki
ngkal
ok"
Hi
m:"
heh!Whaty
oubusywi
th"
?
Me:
"I
'm eat
ing,
wena"
?
Hi
m:"
cooki
ng,
uty
ant
oni
"
Me:
"chocol
atemuf
fi
nsnekof
u"
Hi
m:"
yhoIf
orgoty
ourchocol
atebabe"
Me:"
Eveundt
hengel
edon'
tst
ress,
whyy
oucooki
ng
t
histi
me"?
Him:"
mamaut hi
ubawel
aamar
hewusoI
'
m hel
ping
cookisi
dudu"
Me:
"Idon'
tknowwhatt
hati
s,
buti
tmustbeni
ce"
Hi
m:"
mageu,
homemade"
Me:
"ohkay
..
goodni
ght
"
Hi
m:"
uyal
ala"
?
Me:
"yeahIhav
ecl
assksasa"
Hi
m:"
sur
e,l
ovey
ou"
Me:
"l
ovey
oumor
e"

Wehungup.
[
10/
9,18:
39]‪+27730692704‬:
#116

WhenIwasdoneeat i
ngIjustputthecupsnextto
mybedndal al
ahopi
ngthathe'
llcall
meagain..
.I
sl
eptagain,
amazi
ngl
yIhadl ot
sofdr owsi
ness
enoughtomakemesl eepagain.
Whent heclockstri
kemi dni
ghtt heinsomni a
attackedmesobadIgotbor edandwentdownst ai
rs
withmyphoneandsear chedf orfood:'(Islepton
muf f
insforheavenssakeIwasr eall
yhungr yshame.
Ifoundt hreepiecesofpizza,Steersbur gerandl ots
of" Evegoodies"inthefri
dgesoIt ookthepi zzaand
dri
nknday ot
yelaeloungendakhangel aiichi
psne
bi
scui tsndanqamf uzamnaknowi ngEv ei sgonna
sweart heshitouttamei nthemor ni
ng.Iswi tched
ont heTVndakhendabukel a
Igotev
enmor
ebor
edIcal
l
edbae

Hi
m:"
babe"
Me:
"youdon'
tsoundl
i
key
ou'
vebeensl
eepi
ng"
Hi
m:"
that
'scozIwasn'
t"
Me:
"wenzan"
Hi
m:"
eer
h,I
'
m wor
king.Whyar
eyounotsl
eepi
ng"
?
Me:
"Idon'
thav
eanysl
eep"
Hi
m:"mh,f
irstni
ghtbyyour
sel
fandy
oucan'
tsl
eep?
Hayuyak'
thandaukuthi
nca"
Me:
"ukut
hincakuwe?Uy
adl
ala"
?
Hi
m:"
oh,
besi
desmeut
hincaKubanongomny
e"?
Me:
"woul
dn'
tyoul
i
ket
oknow"
Hi
m:"
hehust
rongo"
Me:
"mxm y
azbabeandi
kukhumbul
ishame"
Him:"
Iknowyaz.
..
cozt hewayI'
m busywit
h,t
he
t
hingsandpeopl
eI'm busywit
h,Ial
sodon'
tmiss
you"
Me:
'
'hayy
and'
gul
elat
chi
n,
awnant
loni
"
:
v
Heburstoutl
aughi
ng.
.Iwasjeal
ous.YesI
'
mver
y
possessi
vemntakamah.Tchi
n.

Hi
m:"
ndi
yakut
handay
az"
Me:
"I
'l
lbei
nCTnextweek.
..
"
Hi
m:"
youwi
l
l"
Me:"butIwon'
tbeabl
etocomet
oyou,
ndi
yaKuLi
zzy
babe"
Hi
m:"
obv
iousl
yndi
zokubona"
Me:"
bri
efl
yyesandy
oubet
terbegoodcozI
'
llbe
comingwit
hEve"
Hi
m:"
shel
i
kesme"
Me:
"you'
resoconf
ident
"
Hi
m:"
andI'
m gladI
'l
lbeseei
ngyouver
ysooncoz
mnabendi
zozanextmontheJo'
bur
g"
Me:
"wow"
Helaughedthenabr
upt
lyst
opped,
Ihear
dgunshot
s
andshouts
Hi
m:"
babyIhav
etogoneh"
Me:
"what
'sgoi
ngon"
?
Hi
m:"
eer
h..
.I
'
llcal
lyouksasal
ove"
Me:
"Nt
andouphi
whyam Ihear
inggunshot
s"?

Someonesaidsomethi
ngont
hebackgr
ound
waphendul
awathiokay

Hi
m:"
Ilov
eyou,
l
ater
"
Me:
"bu-
"

Hungup.
Well
hedidsayhewasbusysoIcan'
treal
lybl
ame
hi
m norbesur
pri
sedandi
tshi
sli
fe,
inj
eyana

OkaysoasuneasyasIwaswi
thwhatIhear
donhi
s
backgroundIdi dn'tcallhim backcozIt houghtzobe
ndiyamphazami saandendupdi st
ractinghi m so
ndazicengandahl alaandwat chedmov iesunt ilI
eventuall
yfel l
asleepont hecouchonl ywaki ngupi n
themor ningal mostl aterthant het i
meIas
supposedt owakeup.Iwentt obat handgot
dressedev ersoqui ckl
yr ushingt ime,Itookt heGTi
andcal l
edbaeonmawayt ocl ass,Itr
iedumpt eenth
ti
mebuti nv ai
nsoIj ustattendedmyl ect uresand
proceededt ot heShi saNy amat oseeVi ncebutst i
ll
call
inghisbr otherhay sanai tshoepal ini soasI
reachedtheShi saNy amaIwal kedoutandwenti n..
..
IsawVi ncebusyaheadbutwhenIsawLi bocomi ng
towardswher eIwaspl anningt ost ,
withamenu, I
prayedtoGodangakul i
ngeandi chukumi secozI
real
lywasn' tinthemoodt oent er t
ainher ,
nottoday .

Isatdown,
shecamet
ome,
putdownt
hemenu.

Her
:"
hi,
unj
ani
"
Me:
"cel
aagl
assofmangoj
uice,
andVi
ncentpl
s"
Her
:"
Tri
naIwanna-
"
Me:
"pl
sLi
bo,
Idon'
thav
etheener
gy"
Her
:"
Ijustwannaapol
ogi
ze"

Ijustturnedbackandwal kedouttomycar ,Icould

hearhersay i
ngsomethingbutmyheadwasj ustnot
accommodat i
vetoanythi
ngthatmoment .WhenI
reachedthecarVincecamer unning,
Ijuststart
edthe
caranddr ovehomendaf i
kandalalaendli
nibehla
futhinobuthongo,
l
olyabaziubut
hongobest ress?
Yil
ontoke.

Yaphelaimi
niyaFridaywithoutany
thi
ngf r
om bae.
..
OnSat ur
daymor ni
ngEv ecamet owakemeup
sayingIhav
eav isi
torsoIdraggedmyf eettot
he
l
oungenotev encheckingmyf aceandtherewas
Vinceephol
engemi ndwit
hacupofcof feeand
muf fi
nsinf
rontofhim

Me:
"mol
o"
Hi
m:"
goodmor
ning,
youl
ookbad"
Me:
"duh"
Hi
m:"
sounj
ani
"?

Ev
ewal
kedi
n

Her
:"
babe.
..I
'
m goi
ngout
,Idon'
tknowi
fni
lbeback"
Me:
"hol
l
eratLD"
Her
:"
wil
ldo"

Shel
eft

Me:
'
'ndi
rightwenaunj
ani
"
Hi
m:"
I'
m okay
..
.sowhat
chudoi
ngt
oday
"
Me:
"st
ayi
nbedal
lday
"
Hi
m:"
hai
bo,
why
?Nobr
eat
hernoshoppi
ng"
?
Me:
"Idon'
twannashopman"
Hi
m:"
youokay
"?
Me:
"I
'mf
ine"
Him:
"whenagi
rlsay
sshe'
sfi
nei
tact
ual
l
ymeans
she'
snot"
Me:
"pat
het
icquot
es"
Hi
m:"
you'
rer
eal
l
ynotokay
,sowhat
'sup"

Iwalkedouttotheki
tchenandmademy
sel
fcof
fee
ndabuyaesahlel
ioneplace

Me:
"don'
tyouhav
etobeatwor
korsomet
hing"
Hi
m:"
nope,
Icamet
oseey
ouandIseenowIhav
eto
t
akeyouout
"
Me:
"Idon'
twannagoout
"
Hi
m:"
andf
uni
sikuwe,
youneedt
her
etai
lther
apy
"
Me:
"Vi
ncekhay
eket
ana"
Hi
m:"
gobat
h,getbeaut
if
ulandl
et'
sgo"
Ipushedmy selfbackupstai
rsandshower ed,
worea
redjumpsui
twi thwhiteandgoldsandal
sndahamba.
Wegoti nhi
scaranddr ovet
oSandtonf i
rsttoa
salontodomyhai rt
hentotheshoppingmal lImust
confessIwentbeser kontheshopping:
vandi twas
helpi
ngqha...

Me:
"howdoesLi
bof
eel
aboutt
his"
Hi
m:"
Idon'
tconsul
tLi
bobef
oreIdoany
thi
ng"
Me:
"at
ti
tudey
akhoy
eyegi
ntsa"
Hi
m:"
ayl
ahl
ekangamos"
Me:"
it
snotagoodthi
ng,
she'
syourgi
rl
fr
ienddon'
t
bel
i
ttl
eherngam"

Hedi
dn'
tanswermebutt
heshoppi
ngcont
inued.
[
10/
9,18:
39]‪+27730692704‬:
#117

Wewentshoppi
ngf
ormostoft
hedayt
henwesatat
aneat
erysat
ya
Hi
m:"
sowhatgoty
ousoupset
"
Me:
"whosai
dany
thi
ngaboutmebei
ngupset
"
Him:"
Iknowyouare,
Idon'
twannaknowwhat
happenedbet
weenyouandLibobutIknowwhatI
saw"
Me:"
Idon'
tknowwhaty
ousawandIdon'
treal
l
y
wannaknow"
Hi
m:"
brusht
hatasi
de,
tel
lmewhat
'seat
ingy
ou"

Iat
emyf oodandafteracoupl
emorechewi
ngsand
swal
lowi
ngIdecidedtoanswerhi
m

Me:
"Ican'
treachy
ourbr
otheronphone"
Hi
m:"
he'
sbusyman"
Me:
"howdoy
ouknow"
?
Hi
m:"
hecal
l
edear
li
er.
..
"
Me:
"oh"
Okay .
..
thatdidn'
tj
ustbum mebuti tkil
l
edmedead
dieandbur i
edsixfeetundert
aker:v:vhowdoeshe
callhi
sbr ot
herandnotev enrespondtomycall
s?
Ezingakaev en.

Me:
"mxm ndi
hlut
hi"
Hi
m:"don'
tbeli
ket
hatnow,uzokf
ounel
awhenhehas
achanceebef
unai
idi
rect
ionskum t
hati
sit
"
Me:
"Idon'
tcar
e"
Hi
m:"
Ishoul
dn'
thav
etol
dyout
hat
"
Me:
"mxm,
plst
akemehome"

Hegotupsighingthenwewentt ot heasheroveme
home.Isweartoy ouIwassadno, notangr
y.I
wantedtocryyabo.Yazuthandaumnt uandy ou
knowhelovesy outoobutyoucan'tgetbetweenhi
m
andhispri
ori
ti
es..
.pri
ori
ti
esthatverymuchexclude
youbecausetheyarehim asawhol e,
youknowy ou
can'
taskhimtochoose.Ev enify
oudi d,
youwould
l
oosethatbattl
e..
.Ifel
texactl
yli
kethat
,apri
or i
ty
thatwouldn'
twinthi
sbattl
e,notbyanychance.As
soonaswer eachedhomeIgotoutandl ef
tVincein
hiscar
..
.hedroveaway,Iwalkedinsi
deandclosed
thedoorsnotlocki
ngthem,passingatt
hefridgewith
atuboficecream ndayohl
alaeloungeeati
ngf rom
thetub

Itr
iedcalli
nghim againbutst
il
li
nv ani
tyupon
vanit
y..
.InsteadKeri
call
edandIwascl osetobei
ng
amessal r
eadycozxay onkel
antothatIreadupon
theint
ernetibuyabacksozeuberighttu.

Me:
"hel
l
o"
Her
:"
hey
,whyy
ousoundi
ngsodown"
?
Me:
"not
hing,
howar
eyou"
?
Her
:"
I'
m gr
eat
,wi
shIcoul
dsatt
hesameabouty
ou"
Me:
"I
'mf
ine"
Her
:"
whatdi
dhedot
oyou"
?
Me:
"who?Not
hing"
Her:
"Iknowyou'
reupset,
tel
lyourbi
gsi
swhat
'she
donetoy out
hatgotyousoupset"

Ibr
eathedi
nl ooki
ngup,
youknowthatt
hingyoudo
wheny out
rynastopt
ears,
whenyoudon'
treal
ly
wannacry.

Me:
"Ican'
treachhi
m onphone"
Her
:"
hav
eyout
ri
edev
ery
thi
ng"
Me:
"yes"
Her
:"
may
behe'
sbusy
,I
'm sur
ehe'
l
lgetbackt
oyou"
Me:
"buthecal
l
edhi
sbr
other
"
Her:
"coul
dhavebeensomet
hingi
mpor
tantbabygi
rl
don'
tworryabouti
t"
Me: "
I'
m supposedtobeimpor
tantt
ooyouknow?But
no,hechoosestoignor
emycallsandcal
l
shis
brotheri
nstead"
?
Her
:"
wai
tal
i
ttl
ewhi
l
elonger
"
Me:
"i
tsnotl
i
keIhav
eanyot
herchoi
ce"

Wespokesomemorethensai
dourgoodbyes
ndahl
alamnaeml
i
ndweniwentombi
ezil
ishumi
.

Iwaitedandwai tedmnt akababaha. aumf ana

akatshotu.Saturdaywaphel anday olal
angexesha
l
olalaSundayndav ukaekuseni want ingtogot o
churchsoIwentt oeat ,
andbat hedt henIjust
cl
eanedt hehouseev ent houghi twasn'tdirtyt henI
wentt osearchforcl ot
hest owearesont weni .I
i
ronedanor angedr esstookoutpeachpl atfor m
heelsandapeachandgol dclutchbagobv iousl y
withgoldjewelrythenIwentt omakemy selfcer eal
withdriedfr
uits,t
ookt hecarkey sandwentt o
Vince'schur
chIneededt hebreak.Theser v icewas
greatthoughandVi ncewasshockedwhenhesaw
mebutshockedi nagoodwayIguesscozaf ter
churchasIwentt omycarhecamef ort
hanst ood
ri
ghtinf r
ontofme
Hi
m:"hey.
..
soyouwer
ejustgonnagohomewi
thout
ahiorsomethi
ng"
Me:
"eer
h..
.I'
minahur
ryman,
sor
ry"
Hi
m:"
hur
ry?Kodwauy
ohl
alawedwaendl
i
ni"
Me:
"mh,
khay
ekeman"
Hi
m:"
let
'shav
elunch,
not
hingf
ancy
"
Me:
"wher
e"?
Hi
m:"
mywor
k"
Me:
"ha.
asozendi
zi
seKuLi
bhongomna"
Hi
m:"
she'
shar
mless"
Me:
"IknowbutIcan'
tdeal
wit
hherr
ightnow"
Hi
m:"
okay
..
.Pi
ckapl
acet
henI
'
llbet
her
e"

Thiswassoooconv i
nci
ngbutasa
woman, okay
,youngwoman, t
hisdidn'
tfeel
r i
ghtatal
l
taki
ngawhol edayshoppingwi t
hsomeone' s
boyfr
iendandt henhavi
nglunchwi t
hhimt he
fol
lowingday?Iwouldbeli
vi
difuNtandoangenza
l
ont oIswear,
kal
okifhe'
smyboyfri
endhe'
s
supposedtospendmor eti
mewithmenotwi t
h
someoneel se'
swoman.

Me:
"l
et'
stakear
aincheck"
Hi
m:"
why
"?
Me:
"youwoul
dn'
tunder
stand"
Hi
m:"
thenexpl
aini
ttome"
Me:
"nope,
goodby
e"

Iki
ssedhischeekandl efthim,gotinthecar
ndagoduka.Fikaendli
nindakhul ul
andanxibaiiPJs
zam andmadef oodformy sel
fnday ohl
alaonthe
couchwatchingcartoons.I
nt heeveningofthat
Sundaymyphoner ang..
.

Me:
"hi
"
Hi
m:"
babe,
unj
ani
"
Me:
"ndi
rightwena"
Hi
m:"
shar
p..
.y
ousounddown"
Me:
"may
bei
tsbecauseIam si
tt
ingdown"
Hi
m:"
noImeanemot
ional
l
ydown"
Me:
"Iwoul
dn'
tknowaboutt
hat
"
Hi
m:"
baby
"
Me:
"nt
oni
"?
Him:"
oh-
kay
..
.y
ou'
venev
eranswer
edmel
i
ket
hat
befor
e"
Me:
"wasther
esomet
hingspeci
fi
cfort
hiscal
l
may
be"?
Hi
m:"
hai
boS'
bongi
l
e"
Me:
"what
"?
Hi
m:"
okay
..
.y
ou'
reupsetIgett
hatandI
'
m sor
ry"
Me:
"f
orwhatexact
ly"
?
Hi
m:"
ever
ythi
ng,
ndcel
uxol
ony
hanst
handwasam"
Me:
"mmh"
Hi
m:"
Sbongi
l
e"
Me:
"Nt
ando"
Hi
m:"
cummonnow,
tal
ktome"
Me:"
aboutwhatexact
ly?Nt
onl
efunekandi
ythet
hil
e
nawe"?
Hi
m:"
thi
sangery
ouhav
eri
ghtnow"
Me:
"Nt
andoy
ou'
rer
eal
l
yobl
i
viousy
ouknow"
Hi
m:"
whathav
eIdonenow"
?
Me:
"hehey
ou'
reki
ddi
ng"
Hi
m:"
baby
"
Me:"
whenlastdidy
out
alkt
ome?U"
baby
"wakho
webhongoke"?
Hi
m:"
butbabyI
'
vebeenbusyy
ouknowhowbu-
"
Me:
"t
wof
ull
day
s?Toobusyf
ory
ourowngi
rl
fr
iend"
?
Him:"
Ndcel
auunder stand'ethatmyl
i
fei
snotjust
somethi
ngIcanturnar oundanymomentIfeell
i
ke.I
l
iveonther
oad,hust
lingsoi t
snotver
yeasyto
adj
ust"
Me:
"Isee.Thi
sconv
ersat
ioni
sov
er"

Ihungup.
Ihadthislumpinmyt hroat,
Itr
iedswall
owi nga
coupleoftimeshaysanakunnt akazavel
azehl a
i
inyembezi ndal
il
a.Ndines'ngqalabuthonestlyIdon'
t
knowwhyIwasl ikethatcozIknowandst ill
knew
howmuchhe' sdedicatedtohislineofl
ivi
ngandt o
hispeoplesoIcouldn'treall
ycompet ewiththat.
..
ButnonethelessIsti
llneededmyownat tentionbo!
[
10/
9,18:
39]‪+27730692704‬:
#118

Hekeptoncall
ingandIignoredhi scallsunti
l
Mondaymor ni
ngwhenhecal ledonmywayt o
school
,Iwasal
readyatthepar ki
nglotpar ki
ngmy
car,
whenitwasparkedIgotoutandt ookmyt hings
asIansweredhiscal
landwal kedtocl ass

Me:
"hel
l
o"
Hi
m:"
Idon'
tl
ikel
ent
oyenzekay
ophakat
hikwet
hu"
Me:
"Iam goodt
hankswena"
Hi
m:"
ndi
ser
ious"
Me:
"andIsl
eptv
erywel
lthanksf
oraski
ng"

Hesi
ghed.
..
Icoul
dpeopl
eonhi
sbackgr
ound

Hi
m:"
baby
"
Me:
"mh"
?
Hi
m:"
pls"
Me:
"pl
swhat
"?
Hi
m:"canwej
ustresol
vethi
sthi
ngandmov
eon,
I
'm
r
eal
lylosi
ngf
ocushere"
Me:
"andwho'
stobl
amef
ort
hat
"
Hi
m:"
babyman"
Me:
"ndi
zobal
atef
orcl
asskesana"
Hi
m:"
Ilov
eyou"
Me:
"Iknowt
hat
"
Hi
m:"
andIneedy
out
otr
ustme"
Me:
"youknowIdo"
Him:"
thenwhybeangr
ywheny
oucan'
treachmeon
phone"?
Me:
"youneedtoaskmot herGooglewhygir
lsf
eel
t
hewaytheyfeelwhentheirsupposedmendon't
maketi
mef ort
hem whent heyneedthem t
o"
Hi
m:"
yhohay
"
Me:
"by
e"

Hehungup...Iat
tendedmycl
assamdmetasecond
yearst
udentbythenameKabelo

Hi
m:"
hi"
Me:
"hi
"

Iwalkedbr
iskl
yinfr
ontofhi
m,heuppedhi
spaceand
fol
l
owedmeunt i
lwewalkedsidebysi
de
Him:"
thenameisKabel
obutevery
onecal
lsme
KB,I
'
dliket
oknowy our
s,I
'
veseenyouatt
hefi
elds"
Me:
"oh.
..Myname'
sTr
inaSmi
th"
Hi
m:"
youpl
ayv
erygoodspor
t"
Me:
"t
hanky
ou"
Him:"Iknowthi
swillsoundsomewhatabsurd
but,
arey oubyanychancerel
atedt
oanEv el
yn
Smith"?
Me:
"she'
smysi
ster
,howdoy
ouknowher
"
Hi
m:"
ohwow,
we'
vebeenf
ri
endssi
nceay
earago"
Me:"
ohokay
,Igot
tar
unt
hough,
i
twasni
cemeet
ing
you"
Hi
m:"
I'
dhopewe'
l
lmeetagai
n"
Me:
"hopef
ull
y"

ThenIgoti
nsi
demycarthenIwenthome,
Ihad
nowhereel
set
ogotobesideshome.
WhenIr eachedhome,Marcuswasther
eact
ual
lyI
sawhi scarevenbef
oreIsawhim,Iwal
kedi
nsi
dea
bitconcerned:
/

Me:
"er
hhel
l
o"
Hi
m:"
lookwho'
sher
e,heybabygi
rlhowar
eyou"
Me:
"hungr
y..
.howar
eyou,
youl
ookgr
eatbr
o"
Hi
m:"
thanky
ou"

WehuggedIsatdownandremov
edmyshoes
put
ti
ngmyfeetonthecouch

Me:
"sowhat
'
sup"
?
Hi
m:"
Icamet
ofet
chy
ou"
Me:
"oh.
..
okay
"
Hi
m:"
youhav
en'
tchangedy
ourmi
ndnowhav
eyou"
?
Me:
"nonono,
butIhav
etobebackThur
sday
ev
eni
ng,
Ihav
eapr
esent
ati
ononFr
iday
"
Hi
m:"
nopr
obl
em"

Lukewal
kedi
n:D

Hi
m:"
heeey
"

Itur
nedandscreamed,gotupandhuggedhi
m so
ti
ght.
..
Evewal
kedinall
packedandready

Me:
"duuude!Whendi
dyoucomeback"
?
Hi
m:"
thi
smor
ning,
you'
regl
owi
ng"
Me:
"aht
hanksman"
Hi
m:"
sowhathav
ey'
al
lbeenupt
oinmyabsence"
Ev
e:"
not
hing"

Saj
onganasahl
eka.
..
itwasni
cehav
ingev
ery
one
underoner oofexceptforKer
i'
ssituat
ionis
underst
andable.Wespentt herestoftheday
chatt
ingthenIreceivedacallf
rom Vince

Me:
"hel
l
o"
Hi
m:"
hey
,di
dn'
tseey
ouatcampust
oday
"
Me:
"ohIl
efti
mmedi
atel
yaf
tercl
ass"
Hi
m:"
buty
ou'
reokay
"?
Me:
"yeahI
'
mfi
net
hanksf
oraski
ng"
Hi
m:"
aytl
ater
"
Me:
"shar
p"
-
Luu:
"soy'
al
lar
eleav
ingmebehi
nd,
j
ustaf
terI
'
ve
l
anded"
Ev
e:"
blamey
ourbi
gbr
o"
Luu:
"mmmh"

Lol
Iranupst
air
stopackj
ustaf
ewcl
othi
ngi
temsi
n
ami nisport
sbagndahambanday ezant
siandjoined
mysi bl
ingsaswegoti nt
o!Marcuscarsayeair
port
andIspot t
edthejetatadist
ance,
sozeungazazi
i
izint
ozikababewakhonobakut hwani,
wegotinMo
tookust otheCape.
[
10/
9,18:
40]‪+27730692704‬:
#119

Immediat
elywhenwel andedbaecall
edndaj
onga
abant
akwet hundabhekel
aandpickedup

Me:
"uhm,
hi
"
Hi
m:"
babeur
ight
"
Me:
"ndi
rightwena"
Hi
m:"
hayandi
khor
ightt
ufondi
n"
Me:
"oh-
kay
"
Him:
"Iknowyou'
vel
andedcany
ouat
leastf
indagap
sowecant al
k"
Me:
"Idon'
tthi
nkIcanf
indi
ttoday
"
Hi
m:"
yhobabeandsakukhumbul
i
"

:
'
(
Me:
"wi
shIcoul
dbel
i
evet
hat
"
Hi
m:"
hai
bo,
what
'
sthatsupposedt
omean"
Me:
"not
hing"
Hi
m:"
Sibongi
l
endi
yakut
handamf
ethu"
Me:
"Iknow"
Hi
m:"
buty
oudon'
tactl
i
kei
t"
Me:
"butIknow,
i
sn'
tthatwhat
'si
mpor
tant
"
Him:"
that
'sgood.
..
plsi
nfor
m mewheny
ouhav
ea
chanceke"
Me:
"kay
"

Ihungupjustaswegoti nt hecar,
Marcdr
ivingus
home.Fikandathathaujuniorkuqal
andadlalanay
e
^_^ascuteasLilBoobooi s.Iwasreal
lyf
alli
ngin
l
ov ewi
thkidsshame, t
heyhav easenseofhumor i
ng
meandmakemef eell
ikeababymy sel
f.It
ookhi
m
andwel ayonthegroundel ounge.
..Evewas
cookingwit
hLiz,
Mar cwalkedinandsatatacouch
acrossuswatchi
nguswi thasmi le

Hi
m:"
Iseey
ou'
ref
ondofbabi
es"
Me:
"nope,
babi
esar
efondofmebr
o"
Hi
m:"
mh.
..
sot
ell
mewh-
"

Li
zwal
kedi
nandst
oodbyt
heent
rance

Her:
"Youknowyouhav
eameet
ingwi
tht
hegent
sin
about25minut
es,
ri
ght
"?
Hi
m:"
erh.
..I
sitt
hatl
ate"
?
Her
:"
yep!Thr
il
lercal
l
edt
oconf
ir
m"
Him:"
ohokay.
..
erh,
cany
oupl
spassmet
hebusi
ness
phoneIneedt
omakeaphonecall
"
Shewenttothei
rroom andr
etur
nedwi
thhi
sot
her
phone.
..
hecall
edhisboss

Beast
:"
Pol
o"
Hi
m:"
King,
Ial
mostf
orgotaboutourmeet
ing"
Beast
:"
ohthat.
..Ihopey
ou'
reokaywi
tht
he
ar
rangements"
Hi
m:"
nonoI
'
m okay
,Iwasj
ustr
emi
ndi
ngy
ou"
Beast
:"
danki
emasêkind,butIwon'
tbet
her
eri
ght
awayI'
m st
il
lbusywi
thsomething"
Hi
m:"
ohkay
..
.shoul
dIl
eadorRangeri
scomi
ng"
?
Beast
:"
lead,
Rangeri
swi
thme"
Hi
m:"
okayt
hen"
Beast
:"
shar
p"

Hehungup.
..

Hi
m:"
Tee"
Me:
"mh"
?
Hi
m:"pl
stakeJuni
ort
ohi
snur
ser
y..
.I
'
llhel
pyoucl
ear
upt
helounge"
Liz:
"whynotusethepool
side.
..
wecan'tr
eall
ybe
expectedtosuf
focat
einsi
dear oom i
nthi
shot
weather"
Hi
m:"
Ohokay
,wi
l
lyoupr
epar
ethepl
ace"
?
Li
z:
"whatar
eyoudoi
ng"
?
Hi
m:"
erhm.
..Assebl
i
efmyl
i
efde"
Li
z:"
I'
m busy
,anddon'
tev
ent
hinkaboutEv
eshe'
s
busytoo"
Me:
"meandJrar
ebusydoi
ngy
ogasopl
ssi
r"

Lolheshookhisheadandwenttopr
eparethetabl
e
nearthepool
,
mypani cwasseei
ngBeastkesana.

Whent hecar
sdr ovein,
ItookJrtothenurser
y
sahl
alaphayaforalongt i
meev enukuty
akwam
mdikutyel
ephaya..
.t
henur ser
yhadaper f
ectviewof
thepool soIcouldseewhatorwhowasher eand
whowasn' tandsof arbaehadn'tarr
ived:)thatwas
ar el
ief.Theirmeet i
ngcontinueduntill
ate,
wesl ept
noJrsav ukahayIwal keddownt hestai
rsaf ter
changi nghim,therewasEv ewal ki
ngoutwi th
cockt ai
lglassesbutnooneel sewasi nther oom.I
madeJrhi smi lkbottl
eandscoopedi cecr eam for
my selfsayohlalaelounge- _-,
Guddacameoutoft he
studyourey eslocked

Hi
m:"
Heyy
ou"
Me:
"Gudda"
Hi
m:"
youl
ookgood"
Me:
"t
hanks"
Him:"
canIaskyousomethi
ng,
thoughIknow
perf
ectl
ywell
thati
tsnoneofmybusiness"
Me:
"I
'm sur
eyou'
l
laskany
way
"
Him:"
whatdi
dyouseekwiKi ng?Li
ke,
ther
eareso
manyhandsomemenoutt herewhom youcoul
d
havedat
edbutyouchosehim anyway
"?
Me:"
ohnowIknowwhatyoumeantwheny
ousai
d
i
tsnoneofy
ourbusi
ness"
Him:
"don'tgetmewr ongneh,
he'
smybossandI
knowhe'sgotallt
hemoneyonecanimaginebuty
ou
don'
tstr
ikemel i
kethetypewho'
saf
termoney"
Me:
"Idon'
treal
l
yhav
etoexpl
ainmy
sel
ftoy
ou
t
hough"
Hi
m:"
tr
ue"
Me:
"t
hent
hisconv
ersat
ioni
sov
er"
Hi
m:"
I'
m sor
ryi
fIof
fendedy
ou"

Ikeptmymouthshutandatemyi
cecr
eam,Jrwas
cl
osetofi
nishi
nghi
sbottl
e.Ev
ecamei
nall
excit
ed..
.

Her
:"
Treeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnaaaa"
Me:
"you'
rescar
ingt
hechi
l
dyoumor
on"

Shegi
ggl
edandcamenear
eral
mostspeaki
ngi
na
whi
sper

Her
:"
yourman.
..
.Chocol
atemousse"
Me:
"he'
sher
e"?
Her:
"duh!Damn,
Ithi
nkIneedmy
sel
fagangst
a
shame"
Me:
"hah!Iwi
shLDwoul
dheary
ousayt
hat
"

IwasuneasykengokcozwhenIcamedownI
thoughtt
heymightmaybebegonebynow.

Her:
"youwhatmakeshim ev
enmor
eeat
abl
e?Hi
s
obsessi
onwithbl
ack"
Me:"
Evel
ynSmit
h,y
oudoknowy
ou'
ret
alki
ngabout
someone'
sboy
fri
endr
ight
"
Her
:"
danger
ousboy
fri
endy
oumean"

Hahat
her
e'snoar
gui
ngwi
tht
hisper
sont
hough.
..
Rangerwal
kedi
n

Me:
"wher
e'sLi
zzy
"?
Her
:"
out
side"

Hecamet
owar
dsus

Hi
m:"
Tri
na"
Me:
"hi
"
Hi
m:"
Ihav
eamessagef
rom t
heki
ng"
Me:
"oh"
Hi
m:"
canwespeaki
npr
ivat
e"

Ev
ewal
kedout
sidesmi
l
ingandhummi
ng

Me:
"oh-
kay
"
Hi
m:"
hesay
syoumustmeethi
mjustbef
orey
ougo
t
obed"
Me:
"t
ell
himI
'
llsee"
Hi
m:"
it
squi
teur
gent
"
Me:
"myanswerst
il
lst
ands"
Hi
m:"
okay
"

Heturnedandlef
t.
..
tchi
uNtando,
kant
ididn'
thesayI
mustcallhi
m whenIhaveachance?I
ji
kephil
ont
o
ngoku?Mxm.
[
10/
9,18:
40]‪+27730692704‬:
#120

Icont
inuedplay
ingwi
thJuni
or,
myphone
rang.
..
pri
vat
enumber

Me:
"Hel
l
o"
Her
:"
Tri
na"
Me:
"t
hat
'sr
ight
"
Her
:"
hewet
hu,
uphi
umnt
anam"
Me:
"mnt
anakho"
?
Her
:"
yes,
Iwantmychi
l
d"
Me:
"I
'm soconf
usedr
ightnow"
Her
:"
wher
eisSi
no"
?
Me:
"oh,
Anel
i
sa"
Her
:"
that
'sri
ght.
..
nowt
ell
mewher eyourmant
ook
mychil
dcozIknowhehashim.Idon'
twannaact
i
rr
ati
onall
yhere,
l
et'
swor
ktoget
her"
Me:
"wor
ktoget
herwi
thwho"
?
Her
:"
youknowIcanl
aychar
gesagai
nsty
out
wo"
Me:"
you'
rej
ustbl
uffi
ngcozwebot
hknowy
ouai
n'
t
gotnogr
oundtostandon"
Her
:"
don'
ttestme"
Me:
"you'
renotsodi
ff
erentf
rom Chumat
hough"
Her
:"
whosaidweweredi
ff
erent
?Nt
ando?Mxm
t
hat'
sonedumbassni
gga"
Me:"Iwonderwhyyoustuckwit
hhimtil
lSi
no
appeared.
..
ohwait
,moneygluedyout
ohim"
Her:
"you'
redefi
nit
elyonet
ospeak,
seei
ngt haty
ou'
re
eat
ingfrom t
hesamepl at
eIl
eftunwashed"
Me:"
someofusseet hegoodeveni
nthedeadmy
dear
..
.l
iket
hegoodIsawinyourdaught
er,
theone
youl
eftatadoor
step"
Her
:"
youdon'
thav
ether
ightt
ojudgeme"
Me:"
ifIwer
etoj udgeyou,
youwouldn'
trespondcoz
I
'dhi
twhereithurtsthemost.
..
it
syourconscious
t
hat'
sjudgi
ngy ounotme"
Her:
"you'
retoosmartf
oryourownpants,
i
tssti
ll
ear
lydays,
youwil
lseeNtandoforwhohereal
l
yis"
Me:
"l
ikey
oudi
d"?
Her:
"l
ikeAnel
isadid,
li
keIdid,
li
keanyotherexofhi
s
di
d.Hewi l
lsoonrevealhi
struecol
orsandthere
won'
tbenot urni
ngback"
Me:"
wellthanky
oufort
hewar ningi
fthat
'swhaty
ou
cal
li
t.
.butIaimtobedi
ff
erentthany'
all
."
Her:
"let
'swai
tandseehowdiff
erentwil
lyoube
whenhehasy oueat
ingr
ightf
rom thepal
m ofhi
s
hand"
Me:"
notthatIhav
etoansweryou,
but,
I'
m nott
hat
gul
l
ibl
e..
.Moneydoesn'
tbuyloveorhappi
ness"
Her
:"
hiswor
ldr
evol
vesar
oundmoneykesi
si"
Me:
"mh.
..
arewedone"
?
Her
:"
plst
ell
mewher
ehet
ookmychi
l
d"
Me:
"Idon'
tknow,
I
'm notev
enar
oundCapeTown"
Her
:"
Iknow,Chumasai
dyou'
rei
nJo'
burgbutI
t
houghtyoucoul
dhavesomeknowl
edge"
Me:"It
hinky
oushoul
djustcal
lhi
m,r
easonwi
thhi
m
uzokuva"
Her:
"hewon'
t.
..
hedoesn'
tev
enpi
ckupmycal
l
s
ngoku"
Me:
"yho"
Her
:"
thanks.
..
bye"
Me:
"by
e"

WhenIwasdoneeatingt
heicecr
eam Iwenttot
he
ki
tchenandr
insedt
hebowl,
hewalkedi
ntalki
ngon
hi
sphone..
.Iwipedt
hebowlandatt
emptedtol
eav
e
hi
mt her
ebutfail
edcozhehungupandhel
dmy
hand.

Hi
m:"
you'
reav
oidi
ngme"
Me:
"whywoul
dIdot
hat
"?
Hi
m:"
beat
sme"

Il
oosenedmyhandandwentt
oJr
,t
ookhi
mtomy
ar
ms

Hi
m:"
canwet
alk"
?
Me:
"makei
tqui
cksi
funul
ala"
Hi
m:"
utheni
unj
e?Moodsandt
hisr
ott
enat
ti
tude"
?
Me:
"you'
rei
nsul
ti
ngmey
ayazi
lont
o"?
Him:"
I'
mj ustbei
ngst
rai
ghtf
orwardhere.
..
you'
ve
beengivi
ngmet hecol
dshoul
der.Kwenzekantoni
"?
Me:
"andaz"
Iwal
kedtothenur
sery
,fi
kandal
ali
sauJrandt
urned
tol
eave,
hewasstandi
ngbythedoor

Me:
"mybr
otherwoul
dn'
tbehappyseei
ngy
ouher
e"
Him:"
Idon'
tcar
eaboutMar
cusr
ightnow,
khat
het
he
kwenzekant
onikuwe"
?

Ij
ustwal kedpassedhim..
.maybeitwast
heice
cream,Icouldhaveeat
ent oomuchonanempt y
stomachmay becozIfel
tnauseasandabitdi
zzyas
Icoll
ectedtoyszikaJr

Hi
m:"
baby
"
Me:"y
ousaidIshouldcal
lyouwhenIhav
eachance
sokutshi
ntshephi
ngokusewthumel
angoRanger
thatyouwannaseemebef or
eIgotobed?Real
l
y"?
Hi
m:"Ineededtoseey oucaci
leyoudon'
t.
..
andy
az
i
kuf
uphi ukundi
dikal
entouyenzayo"
Ndat
hul
amnandaqokel
elaezi
zi
ntondaqoqoshal
e
l
ounge.

Iwalkedt
othest
airsl
eadi
ngbackt
othenur
ser
y,he
spokegiv
ingmehisback

Hi
m:"
whenyoudecidetogrowupandt
alk,
cal
lme.
Ai
n'
tgott
imefort
hisshit
"
Me:
"hm"

Iconti
nued,hewal kedout.WhenIhadpl acedt he
toysi
nt heirplaceIwenttotheroom I'
dbeshar i
ng
wit
hEv e,shower ed..
.Iwassti
llf
eel
ingabi tnauseas
butke:/Igoti nbedwhenIwasdoneandl istenedto
musicfrom myphonet ryi
ngsohardt osleep.WhenI
fi
nall
yslept,Ididn'
tevenhearEvecomi ngin..
.ButI
wokepastt woi nt
heweehour softhemor ning.Isat
up,
wentt ot hebathroom t
henItookmyphoneand
wentdownst ai
rstowatchwhateverthatwoul dbe
pl
ayingonTVt hattimebutIst ar
tedint hekitchen
andsawhot chipsinthemi crowav e,
Iwar medt hen
andmadeasourcr eam di pt
hennday ohlalael ounge.
AsIsatt here,
Itri
edthinkingaboutwhyny han
ndi
velandi di
kwenguNt ando: (yesatf i
rstIwas
upsetthathedi dn'
tcal l
butincincinjelontof orba
i
bekant indisaqumbel eyona.Pi t
yIdidn'thav eitin
met ocallandapol ogizeatall.
..Marcuscamedown
andwentt ot hekit
chen, r
etur
nedwi t
habot tl
eof
waterwazohl al
aopposi temycouch

Hi
m:"
youwer
einsi
det
heent
ir
eti
met
oday
"

Ididn'
tevenmakeanat t
emptt
oanswerhi
m,some
statementsdon'
treal
l
yneedananswer
.

Hi
m:"
didy
ouguy
sfi
ght
"?
Me:
"meandwho"
?
Hi
m:"
youknowwhoI
'
mref
err
ingt
o"
Me:
"no,
wedi
dn'
tfi
ght
"
Hi
m:"
butInot
edt
haty
ouwer
eav
oidi
nghi
m"
Me:
"Iwasspendi
ngt
imewi
thJr
"

Hedr
ankhi
swat
er.
..
Iat
emychi
ps

Hi
m:"
Iuhm t
hinky
ou'
repr
egnant
"
Me:
"wr
ongt
hinki
ng"
Hi
m:"
Lizagr
ees"
Me:
"i
ncor
rectagr
eement
"
Hi
m:"
thenexpl
ainev
ery
thi
ngt
ome"
Me:"I
'
vejustar
ri
vedher
eyest
erdayandI
'
m al
ready
underint
err
ogati
on?Wow"
Hi
m:"okaysorr
y..
.okayl
et'
smakeadeal
,we'
ll
godoa
t
estatthepharmacythenI'
ll
dropt
hesubj
ect"
Me:"
I'
m notdoi
nganyt
est
,Idi
dthet
est
sandt
hey
cameoutnegati
ve"
Hi
m:"
itwon'
thur
tdoi
ngi
tthesecondt
ime"
Andmahoy akemnake.Whenmychi
pswer ef
ini
shI
gotup,
wenttoputtheplat
eint
heki
tchengqi
ba
kwam ndayolal
andamshiy
aphakul
alounge
yendl
uyakhe.

Foll
owingmor ningIwast helastonetowakeup
ndavukamadet hebed...
whil
ei wasstil
lbusymaking
thebed,i
feltnauseasagai n,
irani
ntothebat hr
oom
andkneltdown, vomi
tingsopai nf
ull
ythenItooka
bath,
woreunder wearandagownt henIwal ked
downstair
swher eev
er y
onewasal readyhalfway
thr
oughbr eakfast

Me:
"mor
ning"
Them:
"mor
ning"

Iwentt
otheki
tchen.
..
thesmel
lofeggswaski
ll
i
ng
me:'
(Iremov
edmi l
kfrom t
hefr
idgeandwar
medit
upjustabit,
IpouredAl lBranf l
akesi ntoabowl
addingthemi l
kthenIt ookanappl enday oty
elaby
thepoolsi
dewi thmyf eetint hewat ertheweather
wasper mitt
ing:DIcheckedmyphonef ormessages
andev er
ythi
ng,hadami ssedcallsbutt herewasone
from SosobutwhenIcheckedmyai rt
imeIreali
zed
thatIcoul
dn'tcallhi
m sincokolef orlong,soI
swallowedmypr i
deandcal ledbae: v

Hi
m:"
hel
l
o"
Me:
"hi
,
unj
ani
"
Hi
m:"
ndi
shar
pwena"
Me:
"ndi
shar
p,cel
aundi
thengel
eIai
rt
ime"
Hi
m:"
forwhat
"?
Me:
"hai
boNt
ando,
yenzi
wani
Iai
rt
ime"
?
Hi
m:"
okay
,mal
i
ni"
?
Me:
"l
euf
ikel
elakuy
o"
Hi
m:"
okay
"
Me:
"t
hanks"
Ihungup.
..Andwai
ted.I
nlesst
hanaminut
est
he
ai
rti
mecamet hr
oughthenIcal
l
edSoso

Hi
m:"
yhondaal
ahl
wamt
chanam"
Me:
"heyy
ou,
uri
ght
"
Hi
m:"
nowt
haty
oucal
l
edy
eah,
unqabel
eni
"?
Me:
"ubaei
skeepi
ngmebusy
"
Hi
m:"
mmmmh,
wonwabi
l
eheh"
Me:
"It
ryhey
,i
tsnoteasybut
,It
ry"
Hi
m:"
I'
m gl
ad,
hewet
hu!Umnt
uwakhouphi
nde
wami
thi
sakesana"
Me:
"Landi
l
e"?
Hi
m:"
nqo"
!
Me:
"yhohaySosobr
a,whyungamcebi
sina
umnt
akwenu"
Hi
m:"umamelaumamakhekal
oksoakhont
o
i
nengqondoi
nothet
hwandi
m"
Me:
"yho.
..
uzobar
ightwet
hu"
Hi
m:"
yazndl
elal
endi
kukhumbul
angay
o..
"
Me:
"what
chubusywi
thThur
sday
"?
Hi
m:"
Ihav
eamor
ningcl
assandpr
act
icewhy
"?
Me:
"bendi
zot
hil
et'
shav
elunch"
Hi
m:"
you'
rei
nCapeTown"
?
Me:
"yesbutI
'
m swampedupsotheonlychanceI
wi
ll
haveisThur
sbefor
emyfli
ghtbackhome"
Hi
m:"
ohokay
,I
'l
lcal
lagai
nkef
ori
xeshaneh"
Me:
"I
'l
lbewai
ti
ng.
..
.j
ustdon'
ttel
lyourt
win"
Hi
m:"
don'
twor
ryaboutt
hat
"
Me:
"ay
tby
eke"
Hi
m:"
shar
plov
ie"

Ihungupandcal
l
edbae.
..

Hi
m:"
hm"
Me:
"t
hanks"
Hi
m:"
sur
e"
Me:
"shar
p"
Hi
m:"
hehSbongi
l
e"?
Me:
"huh"
?
Hi
m:"
awkaf
uni
uthet
hanangoku"
Me:
"t
her
e'snot
hingt
otal
kabout
,andkakhul
i
r
emember"?
Hi
m:"
mxm"
Me:
"sut
himxm kum Nt
ando"
Hi
m:"
uyand'
qhel
akodwa"
Me:
"kengokl
ont
oit
hiy
ithi
mxm kum?
"
Hi
m: "
letmej
usthangupbef
oreIsaysomet
hingI
'
ll
r
egret"
Me:
"sui
tyour
sel
f"
Hi
m:"
heh"
!
Hehungup
Ithrewmyheadi ntheair.
..Ihadabrownandblond
l
aceweav eonndangqengqaont hegroundwhil
emy
feetwereinsi
dethepool.Ev ecameandsatdown
nexttome. .
.Iwasthi
nkingaboutmy sel
f,
aboutmy
babe,aboutus.
..

Her
:"
baby
"
Me:
"mh"
Her
:"
arey
ouokay
"?
Me:
"yes"
Her
:"
Ihear
dyouv
omi
ti
ngear
li
er,
yousur
eyouokay
"?
Me:"
yeahI
'
m sur
e,Iwasj
ustf
eel
i
ngnauseast
hat
's
al
l
"
Her
:"
ohkay
..
..
we'
regoi
ngt
otown,
wannacomeal
ong"
Me:
"nah,
Ithi
nkIneedt
oswi
m"
Her
:"
okay
"
Me:
"pl
sbuymechocol
atesneh"
Shelaughedandwal kedaway.WhenIsawt hecar
l
eaving,
Iwenti nsi
deandchangedi ntobumshort
s
andaspor tsbraItookf r
om EvesbagthenIwentfor
aswim...
.Foral ongt i
meIheldmybr eath
underwatertr
yingtor el
axmymi ndandbody.WhenI
l
ift
edmyheadNt andowasseat edonthepoolchai
rs
Igotonehel l
uvaf r
ight:
oufi
keni ni
?
[
10/
9,18:
40]‪+27730692704‬:
#121

Iclosedmymout hcozmyj awdr oppedf orr

eal when
Isawhi m,
thenIturnedandt ookonel aststr
idedown
anddeepint othepoolndakhendahl alaphanot
breathi
ngatall.
..
whenIcoul dn'
ttakeit,
Isurf
acedup
andswem neart hebanksandpul l
edat owel j
ust
wipingmyf aceandstayedinsidethewat er

Me:
"whendi
dyouar
ri
ve"
?
Hi
m:"
bumpedont
oyourbr
otherast
heyl
eft
"
Me:
"oh-
kay
"
Hi
m:"
phuma"

IwantedtoprotestbutIbitmyt ongue...somet hi
ng
aboutthesti
ll
nessofhisf aceandt heicei nhisvoice
caughtmeof f
-guardndaphumany hani
,drippi
ngwet .
Igrabbedthetowelanddr iedmy selfpl
anni ngtosit
down,waskewaphakamaandwal kedtowar dshis
car,
Ifol
lowednehbutIdi dn'tgetin,hegoti nand
openedmydoorndamj onga

Hi
m:"
ngena"
Me:
"si
yaphi
"
Hi
m:"
Sibongi
l
e"
Me:
"dudeI
'
m wetcan'
tyousee"
Hi
m:"
we'
l
lgety
ousomet
hingphambi
l
i"
Me:"
youmi
ghthav
emoneytowasteneh,
butIdon'
t
hav
easpar
ebodywhenIgetbedst
ri
ckenbyflu"

ThenIt
urnedandwal
kedt
owar
dst
hehouse,
str
aight
upt oourroom ndakhululaandgotdr essedinto
j
eans,vestandsneakersthenIwal keddownwi thmy
phoneandf oundhim stil
linhiscar ..
.headont he
steeri
ngwheel ,
Igoti
nandcl osedmydoorand
waited.Hetookaf ewseconds, t
hendr ov eoutof
Mar c'
shouseaphendleleniakaphephet hekiwenzi
aranamt chanam ndadendadi zzy.
..Itri
edspeaking
upbuti zwial
iphumisoIf orcedt hi
swhi sper

Me:
"pl
ssl
owdown"

Idon'tknowwhet herheheardmeorwhat ,
butthe
speedwasst i
llhi
gh,therout
et ohishousewas
secludedandashi sspeedwenthi gher,
Ifeltmore
nauseasndav el
andat hobai
vest i
l
eandst uckmy
headoutandev erythi
ngIhadeat enforbreakfast
wental l
out.
..
hemusthav ebeenshockedcozhe
stoppedabruptl
yalmostknocki ngmeof fmychai r.I
wasdonedoi ngwhatIwasdoi ng,Ij
ustkeptquiet
andwi pedmyl i
ps
Hi
m:"
I'
m sor
ry.
..
her
e"

Hegav emebot t
ledwat er
,Idrankhalfthebottl
eand
closedit,
whenIwasdonehest art
edhiscarandwe
droveintohisundergroundpar kingandparked.Igot
outfir
standwal kedbriskl
y, It
riedthedooritwas
l
ockedIswor eundermybr eathcozIneededt oget
tothebat hr
oom quickandIcoul dn'
tholdmy sel
fany
l
ongerIj ustsatdownandspr eadmyl egsapar t
,a
sli
ghtopeningofmymout handoutcamet he
l
ef t
overs...
myheadwasdoi ngcircl
es.Heopened
thedoorandcamebackt ome

Hi
m:"
babephakama"
Me:
"kay
"
Hi
m:"
plsnow,
phakamay
oucan'
tj
ustsi
ther
e"

Energyt
oar guewit
hhim wasj
ustnotther
e..
.It
ri
ed
gett
ingupbutIcouldn'
t,
Ial
mostsl
ippedbackonto
myv omitbuthecaughtmeontimeandscoopedme
upwalkingusovertothecouch.Heplacedmeand
walkedtothekit
chenbroughtmeagl assofwater
ndasel
a.Hesatdownhi sheadburiedinhishands.
..
Thesil
encewasj ustt
oothick.WhenIgained
str
engthIshi
ftedandlookedathim

Me:
"babe"
Cwaka.
..
Af
teracoupleofsecondsIdon'
tknow,
may
be
mi
nutes,
helookedatme

Me:
"whyam Iher
e"?

Hedidn'tanswerme, waphindawafakaintl
okoy akhe
betweenhi shands.Igotupandwentt ogetaj ugof
waterfrom thekitchenthenIwentout si
deand
washedawayt hev omit,
untili
twaswashedof f
ndabuyelaendl i
ni.Iwashungr ynowsoIwentt othe
ki
tchen,checkedwhat 'sinthefri
dge:Dsawacoupl e
ofusefulthings.Itookleft
overNando'schickenand
pouredsweetchi l
li
whilei
tsstil
lcold,pour edmy self
mangoj uiceandwar medthebreadr ollssincethey
werefrozen,whenIwasdoneIt ookt hef oodt othe
l
ounge,satint hatsameposi t
ionndat y ahel ookedat
meandt hest r
aightahead:/Ikepttal kingtomy
consci
ousl ike-akathet
himosndi thini ke?

Icontinuedeat ingcozakat hethinam andi thi?This

wasasuncomf or
tabl
east heycomebuty ou
know,bei ngast ubbornpersonwel l
notonl yst ubborn
butproudt oo,i
twasn'tinmybl oodt osubmi tandit
stil
lajour neyaheadformet ol earnt osubmi t,
to
understandt hatIwon' tal
way sber ight,
toaccept
thatinli
fet herearemor eimpor t
antt hingst hanmy
whiningandmosti mpor t
antlytol earnthatt hewor l
d
doesn'tst opjustbecauseIwanti tto.Isighedand
sippedmyj uicendamj onga...Felttheneedt osay
somet hingbutwasn' tquitesur ewhatt osay: /

Me:
"baby
"
Hi
m:"
mh"
Andhedi
dn'
tev
enbot
herl
i
fti
nguphi
shead:
o

Me:
"youokay
"?
Hi
m:"
yeah"
Me:
"usur
e"?

Cwaka:
/oh-
kay
!

OkayIgaveup,
Itookmyf oodandphonenday ot
yela
ekit
chen.
..
whereIwon'tgettost
areatthebackof
hi
shead.Hewalkedinndidlal
auTetri
swhileeati
ng
wemaleaningbythedoor

Hi
m:"
you'
rest
il
leat
ing"
?
Itur
nedandf acedhi
m,ki
ndasurpri
sedsinceIdi
dn'
t
seehim norhearhi
sarri
val
.
..Ij
ustnodandretur
ned
tofocusonmyphoneandf ood
Hi
m:"
howy
ouf
eel
i
ng"
?
Me:
"gr
eat
"
Hi
m:"
wantany
thi
ng"
?
Me:
"nope"

Hestoodther
eli
ke.
..l
ikehewassur vey
inga
si
tuat
ionortr
ynafi
ndt heri
ghtwordstosay.
..
Idon'
t
know.Orhewasstressed:/str
esswandim?No
man,I
'
m notcapabl
eoft hat:
(neh,notme.
[
10/
9,18:
41]‪+27730692704‬:
#122

Wheni wasdoneIwashedt heutensilsIhadused

ndayobukelaITVel oungendizothi
nimnaxa
engathethinam uNtando?Andf i
rstandf or
emostI
don'
treallyknowwhyt hehell
I'm Hereinhishouse
i
nsteadofswi mmingathome.Ichangedchannel s
unti
lIreachedsomet hi
ngIcouldwat ch,
Amer i
can
i
dolsrepeathaikenapholamfazi.Hecamet osit
down,li
ft
ingupmyl egswhichwer eonwher ehewas
seati
ng,
hesatdownwazibeka
phezukwakhe.
..
massagi
ngmyf eet
.

Hi
m:"
baby
"
Me:
"l
ove"
Him:
"Idon'
tknowwhat'
sgoingonher
ebut
somethi
ngisdef
ini
tel
yup"
Me:
"wher
e"?
Hi
m:"wi
thy
ou..
.youremot
ionsar
eall
ov ert
he
pl
ace,
andi
tsnothealt
hyf
oryouandforus"
Me:
"oh"
Hi
m:"
oh?Babeuy
andi
vaphof
"
Me:
"yeahndi
yakuv
ababe.
..
butt
ell
me,
whyam Iher
e"?
Hi
m:"
Iwant
edust
otal
k,
cl
eart
heai
r"
Me:
"masi
thet
hekal
ok"
Hi
m:"
wher
edowebegi
n"?
Me:
"f
rom t
het
op"
Hi
m:"
whi
chi
s"?
Me:"t
hatdaywewer etalki
ngonphonet
henIhear
d
gunshot
s,kwakusenzekani
"?
Hi
m:"
oh.
..Wewer
ewor
king"
Me: "
afterworki
ngawabisaci
nganondi f
ounelaso
thatIknowy ou'r
eokay?Imean,Ical
ledy ou
countlessti
mesandy ouweren'tpi
ckingup,Ical
l
ed
youagai nandagainandfrom t
imetot i
mei twent
strai
ghttovoicemail
"

Wakhewat
hul
a..
.

Me:"
ontopofthat,
youwereabl
etocal
lyour
br
other
,i
ntoenzi
m kufounel
aumnt
uwakho"
Hi
m:"
okayI
'
m sor
ryaboutt
hat
"
Me:
"sungxamaaboutapol
ogi
es,
Iwantexpl
anat
ions"
Him:
"Icoul
dn'
tcally
oujusty
et,
Ical
l
edVi
nceonl
y
cozIneeddir
ect
ionsfr
om hi
m"
Me:
"youcoul
dn'
tcal
lmejusty
et?uyay
'qondaphof
bay
oucouldn'
tcal
lmeFortwosaysbra?WhatwasI
supposedt
othi
nk?Okayleav
ethatone,
howwasI
supposedt
ofeelwhenIhear
dyoucall
edyour
brot
herke"
?
Hi
m:"
ndcel
auxol
ost
handwasam"
Me:
"awphendul
imbuzo"
Hi
m:"
babeI
'
m sor
ry,
plsndcel
aundi
xol
ele"
Me:
"kay
"

Sahl
alai
nsi
l
ence.
..
Icl
osedmyey es,
Ifel
tasli
ghtheadachecr
eepi
ng
sl
owly.It
ouchedmyt emplesi
namassaging
mannerbutthatdi
dn'
thelp

Hi
m:"
youokay
"?
Me:
"headache"

Hegotupandr et
urnedwit
hPanadocapsul
esand
wat
er,
Ithankedhi
m ndasel
afut
hindaci
mela.If
ell
asl
eepkokokuci melakesana.WhenIwokeup, I
couldsmellbraai
dpor k:/anditsmelledsobadIhad
torushtothebat hr
oom andpukeAGAI No.Oafter
pukingIsatdownont hebathroom f
loorthi
nki
ng..
.
Thisvomiti
ngt hi
ngi sbecomingahabi tnow,
butI'
m
notseeinganydoct ormtchanam.Heknockedand
j
ustwalkedinwandi jonga

Hi
m:"
ushar
p"?

Ist
oodup,
rinsedmymouthandnodonmyway
out
,hef
oll
owedsafi
kaezant
si

Me:
"yhonukakakubi
kel
ent
oinukay
oapha"
Hi
m:"
iqal
eni
niunukakakubi
Ipor
k"?
Me:
"yhobabeawy
iva"
?

Hel
ookedatmequizzi
call
y.
..Iopenedwi
ndowsjust
t
oal
lowsomefreshair
,hebroughtthemeat
,r
oll
sand
dri
nkwazi bekaphambikwet
hukwicoff
eetabl
eyho
ndavelandanaarngokonangokoIpour
edahalf
gl
assofj uicej
usttot
onedownthenausea
ndacimela

Me:
"Idon'
tthi
nkIcaneatt
hist
oday
"
Him:"
wena?Noteatt
his?Ar
eyousur
eyoudon'
t
needadoctor
"?
Me:"
I'
m per
fect
lyf
ine,
just
..
..
taket
hisawaybef
oreI
pukeagai
n"

Mnt
anomntuwaxakananento,
tookhi
smeatbackt
o
t
heki
tchenndat
yaezarol
lsnejuicey
odwa.

Hecamebackandsatnextt
omewandi
j
onga

Me:
"what
"?
Hi
m:"
comeher
e"
Iputt
heglassdownandt
urnedt
ofacehi
m,hecame
cl
osersof
tlyt
ouchi
ngmycheek

Hi
m:"
I'
m get
ti
ngwor
ri
edabouty
ou"
Ismi
l
ed
Me:
"don'
tbe,
I
'm per
fect
lyf
ine"
Him:
"you'
renot
,webothknowyou'
renot
.Khay
eke
ubast
ubbornforoncebabe"

Ilookeddowñ. ..
li
keIdon'
twannaseeadoct ornjena.
Hel i
ft
edmychi nandkissedme,Ididn'
trespondat
oncebutwhenIr eal
izedheain'
tstoppi
ng,Ikissed
him back.Itsbeenawhi l
esincewehadphy sical
contact.
..Istoppedhalf
wayandgotupwal king
towardst hewindow

Hi
m:"
youokay
"?
Me:
"yeah.
..
kushushuqha"
Hestoodupandcamet ost
andbehi
ndme,
hi
shands
fi
ndi
ngaper f
ectspotonmyt ummy,
Il
aymyheadon
hi
sshouldersti
l
llooki
ngout
side

Me:
"I
'm sor
ry"
Hi
m:"
forwhat
"
Me:
'
'bei
ngdi
ff
icul
t.
..
IknowIcanbehar
datt
imes"
Him:
"youneedt
oletgo,
al
lowmetolov
eyouand
don'
tfi
ghtmeever
ychanceyouget
"
Me:"
I'
ll
try
,buti
tsnotguar
anteedcozIam myown
per
sonandsomet i
mesIpr ef
ertobehear
dtoo"
Hi
m:"
no,
youpr
eferal
lat
tent
ionony
ou"
Me:
"i
sitawr
ongt
hing"
?
Him:"
att
imesyes.
..
somet
imesi
tscut
ebutI
'
m nota
cuti
ecut
ieguy
"
Me:
"Iknow"
Hi
m:"t
henst
opt
ryi
ngt
ochangeme,
i
tsi
mpossi
ble"
Me:
"Iknowt
hatt
oo.
..
I'
m notchangi
ngy
ou,
I
'm
adjust
ingmy
sel
ftofi
tint
oyourwor
ld,
i
t'
snoteasy
especi
all
ywi
thal
lthi
sbabymommadr ama"
Hi
m:"
whatdr
ama"
?
Me:
"yourexeshav
eaccesst
omyphonenumber
"
Hi
m:"
how"
?
Me:"
Idon'
tknow.
..
.Chumacal
ledsometi
me
ago,
Nell
acal
ledt
odayoryest
erdayI
'
m notsur
e"
Hi
m:"
baf
unani
"
Me:"
argh,
nev
ermi
ndt
hem.I
tsuswehav
etof
ocus
on"
Him:
"mainl
yyou,
youmi
ghtpr
etendy
ou'
ref
inebutI
knowyou'r
enot"
Me:
"cummonbabe"
Him:
"I'
m ser
ious.
..
int
wodaysyou'
regoi
ngbackto
Jo'
burgandIneedassur
ancet
hatyou'
ll
takecar
eof
your
self
"
Me:
"hai
bo,
whenhav
eInev
ert
akencar
eofmy
sel
f"
Hi
m:"
it
sdi
ff
erentnow"
Me:
"not
hing'
sdi
ff
erentst
handwasam"
Hi
m:"
hm,
i
fyousayso"

West oodlikethatforsometimet henhepull

edmy
arm sayongqengqaebhedini.
..:
)feltsaf
eandwarm
i
nhisar ms, someti
mesIwi sheverydaywouldbel
i
ke
thi
sbutlatelyvelendidi
kwekwanguy enje.
[
10/
9,18:
41]‪+27730692704‬:
#123

Hi
m:"
anypl
answhi
l
eyou'
rear
ound"
?
Me:
"Thur
sdayIhav
elunchwi
thaf
ri
end"
Hi
m:"
Amanda"
?
Me:
"no,
Soso"
Hi
m:"
Soso?I
sn'
tthaty
ourex'
sbr
other
"?
Me:
"yep,
Lwandi
so"
Hi
m:"
mmh"
Me:"
youdon'
tsupposet
ohav
eapr
obl
em wi
tht
hat
nowdoyou"
Hi
m:"
noIdon'
t"
Me:
"kay
"

Myphoner
ang.
..

Me:
"Ev
e"
Her
:"
hey
,we'
reback,
wear
eyou"
Me:
"di
dyoubuymychocol
ate"
?
Her
:"
yesma'
am"
Me:
"wel
lI'
m onmyway
"
Her
:"
you'
rewi
thy
ouknowwho"
?
Me:
"haha!I
'
m notgonnaanswert
hat
"
Her:
"wel
lyourbrot
hert
hinksy
ou'
rewi
thhi
m,Idon'
t
t
hinkheli
kesit"
Me:
"j
ustt
ell
him Iwentout
,Ineededaf
reshbr
eez
e"
Her
:"
whynotgotothepharmacy
,may
bebuyaf
ew
f
everst
ufft
oshi
ftatt
ent
ion"
Me:
"butIdon'
thav
emywal
l
etwi
thme"
Her
:"
ohcummonI
'
mtr
ynahel
pyouout
chea"
Me:
"okayt
hankssi
s"
Her
:"
shar
p"

Wehungup.
..

Me:
"Ihav
etogo"
Hi
m:"
kseear
ly"
Me:
"t
yhi
nihai
kengok"

Igotupanwentt
olookf
ormyshoes,
wor
ethem
andfi
xedmyhair
.Hecamedown

Hi
m:"
youment
ionedsomet
hingaboutawal
l
et"
Me:
"yeah,
Ineedaf
ewst
ufff
rom t
hechemi
st"
Hi
m:"
oht
hankGod"
!
Ij
ustrol
ledmyeyesandwewal
kedout
.,
lockedt
he
housethenhet
ookmet ot
hephar
macy.

Wewer eassi
stedbyabl
ackl
ady:
)Idon'
thav
eto
khumsha

Her
:"
goodday
,howcanIassi
sty
ou"
Me:"hisi
si,
ndi
cel
aIpi
l
lsormedsf
orf
ever
,and
headache"
Her
:"
uvant
oni
kuqal
adear
"?
Me:
"heat
ing,
fev
erandheadaches"
Hi
m:"
andt
oomuchnausea"
Me:
"oh,
thatt
oo"
Her
:"
qha"
?
Me:
"j
ustabi
tofdi
zzi
ness"
Her
:"
oh-
kay
..
.Whatel
se"
?
Me:
"t
hat
'sal
l
..
.ohandi
nsomni
a"
Her
:"
woul
dn'
tyoul
i
ket
otakeapr
egnancyt
est
"?
Hi
m:"
shewoul
d"
Me:"act
ual
lyno,
Ihadi
tal
readyandi
tcameout
negati
ve"
Her
:"
ohokay
,al
ri
ght
"
Hi
m:"
woul
dn'
thur
tdoi
ngi
tagai
n"

Ndamj
amel
a..
.andi
mit
hangamna.

Her
:"
okay
,wai
tformer
ighther
e"

Shelef
t.
..
foraf
ewmi
nut
es.Ndaj
i
kandaj
ongau
Ntando

Hi
m:"
what
"?
Me:
"I
'm notpr
egnant
"
Hi
m:"Ineversai
dyouar
e,Ij
ustwant
edy
out
oret
ake
t
hetest"
Me:
"IknowI
'
m not
"
Hi
m:"
okay
,i
fyousayso"
Me:
"what
'st
hatsupposedt
omean"
?
Hi
m:"
not
hing"

Thel
adyretur
nedwithaPanadocapsulesanda
medbottl
eapparent
lyi
twil
lstopthenauseaand
di
zzi
ness.Wepaidandthankedhersahambaand
goti
nthecar

Me:
"babecel
aundt
hengel
eIMi
l
kshake"
Hi
m:"
kodwaut
hiunef
ever
"
Me:
"pl
s,
justt
hisonce"
Hi
m:"
hayhay
,we'
regoi
nghome"
Me:
"I
'm beggi
ngy
out
ana,
pret
typl
s"

Hesi
ghedanddr
ovef
ast
..
.
Hi
m:"
phi
"?
Me:
"Wi
mpy
"
Hi
m:"sosokol
iway
ipar
kingphay
a,whynotbuyat
McDonald'
s"?
Me:
"ha.
aandi
funi
icecr
eam,
Iwantmi
l
kshake"
Hi
m:"
fi
ne"
Me:
"enkosi
"

Hedr oveinsil
ence,
reachedWimpyandgotout
alonelolndamhlekayazcozIneverspecif
ied
ndifunaeyiphi
Ifl
avoranditmusthavebeenan
i
nst i
nctkecozher et
urnedwithchocchipmilkshake.
Ikissedhischeekandhet ookmehomeandpar ked
outside

Me:
"t
hanky
ou"
Hi
m:"
don'
t.
..
sowhendoIgett
oseey
ouagai
n"
Me:
"I
'l
lcomebyaf
termyl
unchwi
thSoso"
Hi
m:"
kay
,comeher
e"

Wehugged.
..
Hi
m:"
Ilov
eyou"
Me:
"Iknowt
hatandIl
ovey
ou"
Hi
m:"
cal
lmei
fyougetsi
ckagai
n"
Me:
"babe,
itwasj
ustf
ort
hatmoment
,any
wayI
'
vegot
medi
cinenow"
Hi
m:"
okay
,takecar
e"

Ilookedathim andkissedhisdryli
ps,
hesuckedme
i
nweki ssed,
thenIpull
edbacksmi l
ingandkissed
hisli
psoncemor e,
hekissedthebri
dgebetweenmy
eyes.Itookmymeds, phoneandshakendagoduka
reachedt hehouseandwal kedi
n,t
heywerelaughing
andpl ayi
ng

Me:
"mmh,
y'
al
lhav
ingapar
tywi
thoutme"
Li
z:
"wel
lyoudi
sappear
edonus"
Me:
"hadt
o"

Ili
ft
edupt hemeds,andt ookJrki
ssinghi
m.Mar c
rel
axedwhenhesawt hepharmacybrownbag
sancokolani,
Evegr
abbedmyshakeandf i
nishedi
t
off-_
-li
ket hat
'sdi
srespectf
ulmntakamah!
[
10/
9,18:
42]‪+27730692704‬:
#124

Lizzyaskedustohel
phercooksothr
eeofuswent
tothekitchenandst
art
edoffThemadness

Li
z:
"soooooo.
..
wher
edi
dyouv
ani
sht
o"?
Me:
"ohme"
?
Li
z:
"duh"
Eve:
"youdon'
treal
l
yexpecthert
otel
lyout
het
rut
h
ri
ght
"
Me:
"t
rut
h?Iwentoutf
orsomeai
r.That
'st
het
rut
h"
Li
z:
"butBeastbr
oughty
ouhome.
..
coi
nci
dence"
?
Ev
e:"
may
behe'
stheai
rsheneeded"
Me:
"youguy
sthough.
..
whyar
eweev
ent
alki
ngabout
me"
?
Ev
e:"
okayI
'
llt
ell
youwhy
"
Me:
"oh-
kay
"
Ev
e:"
ononecondi
ti
on"
Me:
"you'
reki
ddi
ng"
Ev
e:"
noI
'
m not
..
."
Me:
"what
'st
hecondi
ti
on"
?
Li
z:
"youj
usthav
etopr
oveuswr
ong,
that
'sal
l
"
Me:
"pr
ovey
ouwr
ongf
rom whatna"
?
Ev
e:"
wel
l
..
.Weki
ndat
hinky
ou'
repr
egnant
”

Ibur
stoutl
aughi
ng

Theyhadmaskson:
vli
kear
etheyser
ious?
Me:"okay,y
'al
lar
eser
ious.Whyt
hough?Li
keIdon'
t
understand"
Li
z:
"cozy
ou'
venev
erbeenpr
egnant
"
Ev
e:"
wehav
e,andweknowt
hesy
mpt
oms"
Me:
"wel
lyou'
real
lwr
ong.Sor
ry"
Li
z:
"youhav
epr
oof
"?
Me:
"don'
tneedone,
I
'mj
ustf
ever
ishguy
sthat
'sal
l
"
Ev
e:"
ohkay
"
Li
z:
"i
fyousayso"

Ohkay...
li
kethi
swasst art
ingtoworrymeneh,butI
coul
dn'tl
etthem seeitsoIkeptmycool and
enj
oyedt hecooki
ng..Baecall
edandItri
edmybest
nottobei r
ri
tat
ed.Evejumpedf ormyphoneand
spokewiththedude: v

Her
:"
Tee'
sphonehel
l
o"
Hi
m:"
Eve,
hoezi
t"
Her
:"
Toppi
es,
you"
?
Hi
m:"
great
,canIhav
eawor
dwi
thy
oursi
ster
"?
Her
:"
erhno,
she'
sbusycooki
ngr
ightnow"
Hi
m:"
womenar
eabl
etomul
ti
task"
Her:
"wel
lnott
hisone,
sheli
kestofocusononet
hing
andri
ghtnow,
thatonethi
ngiscooki
ng"
:
vwewer
egi
ggl
i
ngont
hebackgr
ound
Hi
m:"
please"
Her
:"
ononecondi
ti
on"
Hi
m:"
any
thi
ng"
Her
:"
Transf
erR100ai
rt
imet
omyphone"
Hi
m:"
textmey
ournumber
"
Her
:"
ohkay
"

Thenshegavemethephoneandsur
pri
singl
yIwas
morecal
m andwi
ll
i
ng,r
atheri
nter
est
edinheari
ng
hi
m out
Me:
"babe"
Hi
m:"
hey
,youokay
"
Me:
"I
'm okay
,why
"
Hi
m:"
Idon'
tknow.
..
usur
ebaby
"
Me:
"I
'm sur
ebabe,
butar
eyouokayt
hough"
Hi
m:"
I'
m okay
..
.It
hinkIj
ustmi
ssy
ou"
Me:
"Imi
ssy
out
oobabywam"
Him:
"babywakho,
hehIwishIcoul
dseey
ouwhen
yousai
dthatl
astword"
Me:"
wellIcouldsayi
tal
lov
eragai
n..
.unl
essy
ou'
re
notminealone"
Him:
"Idon'
tl
ikeshar
ingmywoman,
Iwoul
dn'
tl
ike
hert
osharemet oo"
Me:
"t
henwe'
reset
tl
ed,
babywam"
Hi
m: "
canItakey
ououtf
orbr
eakf
astt
omor
row
morning"
?
Me:
"br
eakf
astonl
y"?
Hi
m:"
wel
lmor
eify
ouwant
"
Me:"
welly
ouknowIcan'
t.
..
Icantdi
srespectmy
br
otherl
i
kethat
"
Hi
m:"
okayIunder
stand"
Me:
"t
hanky
ou"
Hi
m:"
I'
ll
cal
lyoul
ateronneh"
Me:
"ay
t,t
akecar
e"
Hi
m:"
nawemnt
anam"

Il
aughed.
..Hewant
edmet
oanswerbutIcoul
dn'
t.

NoIcould,
butIdi
dn'
twantto:
vwehungupandme
andthegir
lssett
hetabl
eforl
unchandLi
zdi
shed
outf
orallofus

Mar
c:"
I'
m goi
ngt
obef
lyi
ngoutoft
ownt
oni
ght
"
Li
z:
"t
il
lwhen"
?
Hi
m:"
Thur
sdaymor
ning"
Ev
e:"
that
'swhyy
ouwant
edusher
e"
Hi
m:"
par
tl
yyes,
Tri
na"
?
Me:
"boet
"
Hi
m:"
Iseey
ouwentt
othechemi
st"
Me:
"yeah,
gotsomef
lumeds"
Hi
m:"
that
'sgood,
onel
esst
hingt
owor
ryabout
"
Li
z:
"we'
l
lbef
ine"
Him:"okayt
hen,
l
et'
senj
oyourl
unchbef
oreIget
cal
led"

Wedugin,
makingsmal
lconversat
ion.
..Myphone
r
ang,
sametimeasEve'
s.Sheleftt
hetable,
Idi
dn'
t

Me:
"hey
"
Hi
m:"
hey
,unj
ani
"
Me:
"ndi
rightbr
awena"
Him:"
I'
m okay,
Icanhearev
eni
nyourv
oiceudewas
r
ightnyhani
"
Me:
'
'yeahwel
l
"
Hi
m:"
wheni
syournextcl
ass"
?
Me:
"Fr
idayI
'
m wr
it
ingat
est
"
Hi
m:"
ohokay
,seey
out
hen"
Me:"
Icoul
dneedyourhel
pwit
hsomethi
ngsotel
l
Li
boyouwon'tbespendi
ngmostoft
heweekend
wi
thher"
Hi
m:"
somet
hingser
ious"
Me:
"j
ustonesubj
ectbef
oreIwr
it
emyf
inal
exam"
Him:"
ohdon'
twor
ryabouther
,j
ustsaywhenandI
'
ll
bethere"
Me:
"t
hanky
ou"
Hi
m:"
alway
s"

Wehungup...Ev
ewasst il
lonthephonewi
th
Lwando.Acardrovein,
Marccheckedhi
swatchand
gotup,
wenttohisroom..
.weheardaknock
kwangenauThri
ller
Hi
m:"
Middagj
ull
e"
Li
z:
"mi
ddag"

Hepul
l
edachai
randsatdown.
..

Hi
m:"
isMar
chi
er"
?
Her
:"
yes,
wai
taf
ewmi
nut
es"
Hi
m:"
okay
"
Her
:"
joi
nus"
Hi
m:"
I'
llonl
yeatthemeat
,youknowIcan'
tgoar
ound
onaheavystomach"

Shegavehim apl
ateandhedi
shedupforhi
msel
f
themeat,
Marccameoutwithhi
sbags

Me:
"It
houghty
ousai
dtoni
ght
"
Hi
m:"
yesbutIhav
etor
unaf
ewer
randsbef
oreIgo"
Me:
"oh"
Hi
m:"
Thr
il
l.
..
hel
pmewi
tht
hese"

Thri
ll
ertookthebagst othecar,
Mar candLi zzywent
tothei
rbedroom withJuniorIconcentratedon
eati
ngmor ethananythingcozIfearedt her epeti
ti
on
oftheearl
ierdeeds.WhenIwasdoneIdr ankt he
medsandwentt otheroom ndakhendangqengqa
mybodydemandedt her est
.Ical
ledbae, IthinkIwas
afr
aidhe'l
lsayhe'sgoingwithMrac...
may be,Idon'
t
know.

Hi
m:"
Tee"
Me:
"t
hat
'ssounl
i
key
ou"
Hi
m:"
it
syourname,
ri
ght
"
Me:
"yeahbut
..
.any
way
,what
chudoi
ng"
?
Hi
m:"
I'
m wai
ti
ngf
oraconf
erencecal
l
"
Me:
"oh.
..
younotgoi
ngwi
thmybr
other
"
Hi
m:"no,
he'
sgotsomebusinesstohandl
ewit
hthe
r
estofthet
eam outoft
own...
I'
vegotsomebusi
ness
t
ohandlewit
hRangeraroundtheCape"
Me:
"mmmh"
Hi
m:"
wenzani
"
Me:
"r
elaxi
ng"
Hi
m:"
good"
Me:
"baby
"
Hi
m:"
mh"
Me:
"t
her
e'ssomet
hingbot
her
ingmyspi
ri
t"
Hi
m:"
about
"
Me:
"you,
us"
Hi
m:"
oh-
kay
"
Me:"
Someonesai
dtomeIdon'tknowthereal
you,
whi
chcoul
dbetrueneh,
butt
heysaidthatyou'
re
notwhoyouar
eri
ghtnow.Youhaveconcealedyour
tr
uecol
ors"
Hi
m:"
mh,
sowhatwasheradv
icei
nunv
eil
i
ngmyt
rue
col
ors"
Me:
"who'
sher
'?
Hi
m:"
Anel
i
sa"

Oh:
ohowdi
dhef
igur
ethatoneout
?

Me:
"babykhawmengooAnel
i
sa"
Him:"wel
loutofev
eryoneI'
vebeenaroundshe'sthe
onlyonewhomanagedt opushmet otheli
mits,and
thatt
alk,
bel
ongstoheralone.Chumasozeathethe
l
onto"
Me:
"andi
fit
'saHi
m"?
Hi
m:"
theni
tsGudda"
o.
Ookaynowt
hat
'scr
eepy

Me:
"babyman"
Him:"
Ikeepacl
osecir
clest
handwasam,Iknowwho
sayswhatandhowtheysayit
,whent
heywill
sayi
t
andwhyt
heywi
l
lsayi
t"
Me:
"haymasi
yi
yekel
encokoke"
Him:"
heaskedy ouwhyy ouwithme?bekhona
abangconoandI'm qui
tesureheinsist
edon
knowingthaty
ou'renotthegol
ddi ggerty
p'awoman"
Me:
"hy
pot
het
ical
l
ysomet
hingl
i
ket
hat
"
Hi
m:"
youdon'
thav etocoverf
orhim,Ihear
dhim wi
th
myownears.
..
Ijustwai
tedforyoutosayit"
Me:"
buthe'
snott
heonl
yonewhokeepst
ell
i
ngme
t
his"
Hi
m:"
canIgi
vey
ouMYadv
ice"
Me:
"okay
"
Him:"
ifyouthi
nkyou'
rei
nanydanger,
runnow.I
f
not,
tr
ustyourgutandl
ovel
ikenobody'
sbusi
ness"
Me:
"not
ed"
Hi
m:"mnandi yakut
handaandthatwon'
tchange
over
nightevenifsi
ngohl
ukanaI'
dhauntyouIdon'
t
wannalie.
..
"
Ibur
stoutwi
thl
aught
er:
v:'
(:v

Me:
"you'
dhauntme?Awnant
loni
Bhut
i"
Him:"i
tsthetr
uth..
.andonwabiwhent
hingshi
ta
rockyplacebetweenus,ndonakal
any
ahn
emphef umlweni"
Me:
"met
oo"
Hi
m:"
yousee"
?
Me:"wel
lIdoloveyou.
..
andI
'
veheardt
here'
sno
perf
ectrel
ati
onshi
p,sowegott
atakei
tonestepata
ti
me"
Hi
m:"
Ihopey
oucanappl
ythat
"
Me:
"hai
boI
'
mtr
ying"
Hi
m:"
notl
atel
y"
Me:
"yazbonakebabe"
Hi
m:"
okay
,xol
oke"

Wej
ustspokesomemor
ethenIt
ookanap.
[
10/
9,18:
42]‪+27730692704‬:
#125

Inappedunt i
llate,
whenIwokeupIwassweat yand
heatingonceagai n..
.Myt hroatwasdr y, l
i
keIhad
feveront her eal.Iundr essedandt ookacol d
showerf or5mi nutest henIwr appedat owel and
wentt othebed, Evewast heretalkingonmyphone
andshewasl aughingasi fshe'st alkingt oanol d
fri
end: oIdi dn'tevenl otionmybodyIj ustwor ePJs
andsl i
pper s,heeeuEv eakonwabekwi phoney am
udeabaneneendawoezi lalangomqol ol i
keIwas
j
ealouskengok: /hahahal i
keforr eal ,
youcan' ttal
k
onmyphoneandenj oyy ourconv ersationasi fI'
m
notint heroom kal ok:vwhenIwasdoneIl efther
thereandwentdownst airsandl ookedf orfood, I
want edtodr i
nkt hosemedsagai n,thisheat ingup
wassomewhatscar ingmebutIdi dn'twannashow
cokuzot hiwaImustgot othedoct orandI 'vehad
badexper ienceswi tht hosepeopl e...Idon'tl i
ke
hospi t
albedsatal l,
letalonet heodour .Lizzywas
signi
ngof faPi zzadel iveryguy
Me:
"i
sthatsupper
"?
Her
:"
yep"
Me:
"whatf
lav
ori
sthat
"?
Her:
"pepper
oni
ancheese,
andt
hisonei
sthr
ee
sausages"
Me:
"ohkay
"

Sheputt heboxesi nthecof feetabl

eelounge,I
searchedthef r
idgeforleftoversandfoundapiece
offish:Dittasteddivi
ne,Iateitascoldasitwas
withtwosl i
cesofspr eadandmar mali
tespreadwit
h
aglassofmi l
kt henIdrankmymedsandj oinedher
andherson.

Her
:"
wher
e'sEv
e"?
Me:
"bedr
oom"
Her
:"
shesl
eepi
ngsoear
ly"
?
Me:
"no,
shewasonmyphonewhenIl
eft
"
Shel
aughedIwasl
ost
..
.
Me:
"ohkay
..
.somet
hing'
sgoi
ngon"
Her
:"
don'
ttel
lherIt
oldy
ou"
Me:
"o-
kay
"
Her:
"she'st
ell
ingyourmantofor
cey
out
ogoseea
doct
or,hersuspi
cionisgr
owi
ng"
Me:
"ohguy
sno"
Her
:"
yep"
Me:
"yho!
"

Str
esssam kengok.
..Howonear thwillIexplainto
NtandowhereEvegothertheoryifheasksme?Li ke
andimot
hangamnaman!Am It hefir
stper sont oget
fl
u?Orvomit?It
snatural
mos- _-shecamedown
andgavememyphoneIt ookitwithoutevenl ooking
atit
Her
:"
yourmanwannaspeakt
oyou"
Me:
"oh,
sor
ry.
..Babe"
?
Hi
m:"
ourbr
eakf
astst
il
lon"
?
Me:
"yeahnot
hinghaschangedBhut
i"
Hi
m:"
enkosi
sisi
"
Me:
"pl
easur
e"
Cwaka.
..
Me:
"wast
her
esomet
hingel
se"
?
Hi
m:"
Iwashopi
ngIcoul
dgetagoodni
ghtki
ss"
Me:"
you'
regoi
ngtodr
ivesuchadi
stancej
ustf
ora
ki
ss?Uri
ghtkak'
hl
e"
Hi
m:"
Idon'
tmi
nd"
Me:
"hayhay
"
Hi
m:"
hai
bobabe"
Me:
"hayandi
zokwenzal
ont
omnachi
,
wai
tti
l
l
t
omorrowmorning"
Hi
m:"
thatl
ongt
hough"
?
Me:
"i
tsonl
yaf
ewhour
s"
Hi
m:"
mxm uy
adi
kauy
eva"
Me:
"andi
fi
kikuwebr
a"
Hi
m:"
mxm goodni
ght
"
Me:
"goodni
ght
?El
xesha?Heh"
Hi
m:"
haykal
okndi
yal
alamna"
Me:
"uxokel
ani
Ntando"
Hi
m:"
ndi
zoxokel
ant
oni
fondi
n"
Me:
"andi
ngof
ondi
nwakhomna"

Hi
m:"umbuzo,
whywoul
dIl
i
eaboutsl
eepi
ngi
finai
nt
sl
eepi
ng"
?
Me:
"beat
sme"
Hi
m:"
cal
lmewheny
ou'
veeat
enandr
est
ed"
Me:
"you'
l
lbeasl
eepmossowhyshoul
dIbot
her
"?
Hi
m:"
justdoi
t"
Me:
"mmh"
Ihungupbekal ophonephakudeandj oinedt he
l
adi esineatingthesupper..
.Ican'treal l
ysaywhy ,but
Iwasupset ,
angryandmynosewast wi tchingas
muchasi twassweat ing.Ionlyatet hreesl icesof
pizzathenIwentt omakecof fee:/thesmel lkill
ed
met othecor eIsear
chedf oranyot hert eaay i
kho
sanakukhonaIGl enandI '
venev erdr ankGl en
before..
.Ireturnedtotheloungeandst oodatt he
entrance

Me:
"Li
z"
Her
:"
hi"
Me:
"don'
tyouhav
erooi
bost
eaoranygr
eent
ea"
?
Her
:"
erhno,
we'
ver
unoutofr
ooi
bost
hismor
ning"
Me:
"yho.
..
okay
"

Ir
eturnedtotheki
tchenandmadehotsugar
ed
waterndaphungawonakunobandi
zi
bulal
engekof
u.
Ev
e:"
youdr
inki
ngwat
er"
?
Me:
"yeap"
Her
:"
youknowyoucoul
dcall
yourman,I
'
m surehe
woul
dn'
tmindbr
ingi
ngyousomegreentea"
Me:
"Idon'
tneedi
t"
Her
:"
wel
lImeanhedi
dwannacomeher
eany
way
"
Me:
"Ev
e"
Her
:"
justsay
ing"
Me:
"Isai
dIdon'
tneedi
t,
okay
"?
Her
:"
yesma'
am"

Baj
onganabahl
eka-_
-real
ly?Idrankmywaterf
ini
sh
gqi
bandabashi
yandayol
ala.Ical
ledSoso:
)hehad
tocheermeup

Hi
m:"
babywomny
umnt
u"
Me:
"yougott
hatr
ight
,babywomny
eumnt
u,unj
ani
f
ri
end"
Hi
m:"
Ican'
twai
ttomeety
ou,
yhundi
yat
shi
seka"
Me:"
hahant
wanasameher
e,qhakesanawemi
ght
nothav
eenought
ime"
Hi
m:"
ohwhynow"
?
Me:"
ubabywam akanazi
gqi
boangav
elaabey
iangel
si
sancokol
a"
Hi
m:"
yhi
ghostnal
obabywakho"
?
Me:
"mor
eofaBeastt
hanaghost
"
Him:"
hayntwanauyi
wal
ki
ngtar
getungandosul
eli
ke
babycozbeastsl
i
veonpr
ey"

Iwasal
readyinst
it
ches,
tonekaSosoy
eyest
abane
SASEkasist
ruBob:v:v

Me:"
sowenay
ou'
repr
ey?Myf
ri
end,
you'
resomet
hing
el
se"
Hi
m:"
atl
eastI
'
m not
arget
..
.Butonaser
ious
not
e,ar
eyouser
ious"
?
Me:"
tchi
n,
lomnt
uuf
unausukakwakhej
ustf
ora
goodni
ghtki
ss"
?
Hi
m:"
he'
sinl
ove,
andIdon'
tbl
amehi
m"
Me:
"nomannotl
i
ket
his.
..
it
stoomuch"
Him:"
remi
ndmeonourl
unch,
Ineedt
ogi
vey
ouone
hel
luvakl
ap"
Me:
"what
?Why
"?
Him:"you'
resti
l
l asking?Hewet hu,
afteral
ltheish
you'v
ebeent hroughwi thmybr otheryougotbl essed
withal ov
ingman. .Idon'tt
hinkhe'sgood,butatleast
helovesy ougqibaut hii
tstoomuch"
Me:
"wel
lmay
beI
'
m notusedt
oitel
i
hlobo"
Hi
m:"weeeeehmaaameeeeh!
!!
!Pourmesome
wat
er"
Me:
"hahahahay
huuuu!SosoIdr
amat
hough"

Ev
ewal
kedi
n,
changedi
ntoPJsandgoti
nbed
Hi
m:"
tchi
nsi
si"
Me:
"dude,
ha,
ayou'
resupposedt
obemy
f
ri
end,
xhasame"
Hi
m:"
Idon'
tcar
e,r
ightnowy
ou'
rebei
ngst
upi
d"
Me:
"goodni
ghtLwandi
so"
Hi
m:"
thet
rut
hispai
nful
"
Me:
"no,
I
'mr
ecei
vi
ngacal
lfr
om baechomi
"
Hi
m:"
ooohmmm"

Hahaa!Mxm t
hisni
qqat
hough,
Ihungupandt
ook
bae'
scall

Me:
"hel
l
o"
Hi
m:"
yousoundr
elaxed,
Iwaswai
ti
ngf
ory
ourcal
l
"
Me:
"Iwasn'
tgonnacal
lyou"
Hi
m:"
ngobakt
heni
"
Me:
"becausey
ousai
dyouwer
esl
eepi
ng,
remember
"
Hi
m:"
butIal
sot
oldy
ouI
'
llbewai
ti
ngf
ory
ourcal
l
"
Me:
"If
orgot
"
Hi
m:"
youf
orgot
"?
Me:"
hayf
ondi
nandi
namnt
anamnaandi
zokwanasa
kal
ok"
Hi
m:"
sisi
gezokeesi
usi
phendul
ayo"
Me:
"mmh"
Hi
m:"
goodni
ght
"
Me:
"ut
shookwesi
bini
namhl
anj
e"
Hi
m:"
unal
onexeshal
obal
aubuv
uvukanj
an"
Me:'
'bubuv
uvu?Oooh,
thengetthi
skebhut
i,I
'
m not
yourrubbi
shbi
nkemnt akadad"
Hi
m:"
mxm nxi
"

Hehungup...Yhundacaphukakanj
ani
nkosi
enof
efe!
!!
!Icall
edhim ndi
bil
aokwamanzioxhel
a
i
nkukhu:o
Hi
m:"
yint
onngoku"
Me:
"don'
tyoudar
ehanguponme"
Hi
m:"
khawl
aleSi
bongi
l
e"
Me:
"Nt
andot
het
hakak'
hl
enam"
Him:"
andifIdon'
t?Mamel
asisi
,
andi
yondawo
yophambanelaneh?Yi
bhof
oloi
ndawoyamageza
notmna"

Thathi
tmesohar dandcutmyhear
tsodeep
:'
(ndant
li
phi
nika,
tear
sthr
eat
enedmyeyes

Me:
"ar
e..
.Ar
eyoul
i
steni
ngt
oyour
sel
f"
?
Hi
m: "
awzol
il
atu,
soze.Youhav
enogr
oundst
ocr
y
af
terthi
sbul
lyoujustsai
d"
Me:
"Ihat
eyou"

Ihungupandcov
eredmy
sel
fngengubo.
..
thi
s
damnedphoneyakhal
a.Idi
dn'
tansweri
tvel
e
ndal
alel
akul
ont
oy ol
il
aqha.
[
10/
9,18:
43]‪+27730692704‬:
#126

WhenIwokeupt hefollowi ngdaymybat ter

ymust
havedi edsoIchar gedi t,
Ev ewasf astasl eep..
.I
missedmyman.: /nowIt hinkIunder stoodwhenhe
saidmyemot ionsar eall overt hepl acebut .
..Okay
nevermi nd,
Ichangedi ntoshor tsandspor tsbraI
wentf oraswi mi nthepool ...Swi mmi ngwasmyway
ofdest ressingandi twor kedf orme.Af t eranhourof
swimmi ngIgotoutandwal kedi nsidet henIr an
my sel
fabat hasIsel ect edwhatt owearkul e
breakfastdat enobaby .Isel ectedmybl ueripped
j
eans,whi t
esneaker sandwhi telacecr oppedt op
withwhi test r
aplessbr a.ThenIwentt osoakmy sel
f
i
nt hebubbl ebathIdon' tknowhowl ongIst ayed
therebutIsur el
ydidf allasl eep,vuswanguEv e
handingmeherphone

Me:
"mh"
Her
:"
tabeast
"

Il
ookedatherandmouthedNO,shej
ustshr
ugged
hershoul
der
s,mxm It
ookthephone

Me:
"l
ow"
Hi
m:"
ugr
and"
Me:
"hm:
mh"
Hi
m:"
utheni
"
Me:
"don'
tknow"
Hi
m:"
butawukhogr
and"
?

Isi
ghed.
..
whycan'
thej
ustgett
othepoi
nt?

Hi
m: "
Idon'tunder
standwhyuzodi
kwasoear
lyi
nthe
morning"
Ndathul
a..
.Icantr
eal
l
yexpl
ainmyf
eel
i
ngst
hese
dayso.O
Hi
m:"
udi
kwendi
m Sbongi
l
e"?
Me:
"no"
Hi
m:"
thenwhat
"
Me:
"Idon'
tknow"
Hi
m:"
butudi
ki
we"

Idi
dn'
tanswerhi
m..
.

Him:"i
cebolet
sjustcancelnal
obreakfastbesi
zoy
a
kuyokexaunjecozIcan' tgooutwit
hy ouinpubl
i
c
notknowingwhat'sgoingonwithyouandy our
unstabl
etemper"
Me:
"shar
p"
Hi
m:"
kayshar
p"

IhungupandthrewEv
e'sphoneonmyheapof
cl
othes,
gotoutoft
hewateranddr
ainedi
t
out,cleanedt hebat hthenIt ookEv e'
sphonet oher
wabeephi ndewal alaIj ustputitnextt oherand
l
ot i
onedmybody ,Iwasgoi ngt ohav ebr eakf astwith
himr ight?Myhear twaspr eparedt ogoout ?My
clotheswer esetoutal ready?Igotdr essed,instead
ofsneaker sIwor esilverglit
teryheals,tookacl utch
ndaf akay onkintoandl eftwhi l
eev eryonewas
asleep. .
ti
mewaspastei ghttoni ne.Nowt hisi snot
Jo'bur g,
there'snoLuke' sGTi her ethought her e'
sa
carint hegar agebutIopt edf orusingpubl ic
transpor t
,yesIwasaf raidnehbutIst rengthened
my selfandIcanguar anteey out hatthiswasf eeding
myego.Ir eachedt ownaf teraboutt hirt
ymi nut es
thenIwentt oWimpyf orbreakf ast,mademyor der
andcal l
edAmanda. .
.

Her
:"
sist
ersi
ster
"
Me:
"heyy
ou,
uri
ght
"
Her
:"
cloudni
ne,
yousounddown"
Me:
"may
bey
oucancheermeup"
Her
:"
wit
hpl
easur
e,butIdon'
thav
eaPr
ivat
ejet
,you
knowt
hat
.Ri
ght
"?
Me:
"well
y oucoul
djustt
akear
idet
oWi
mpyandj
oin
meforbreakf
ast"
Her
:"
you'
rei
ncapeTown"
?
Me:
"yeahnotf
orl
ongt
hough"
Her
:"
okay
,I
'l
lbet
her
einf
if
teen"
Me:
"al
ri
ght
"
Her
:"
ciao"

Ihungupndatya.
..Thesausagewasgood:pl
i
ke
verygoodbuti
nci
nci :
(Iwashalf
waythr
oughmy
breakf
astwhenVincecall
ed

Me:
"Vi
nce"
Hi
m:"
skwi
za,
howar
eyou"
Me:
"I
'm good.You"
Him:
"I'
m good.
..
I'
l
lcomebyy
ourhouset
oday
,what
canIbri
ng"?
Me:
"I
'm notar
ound"
Hi
m:"
you'
renot
?Whenwi
l
lyoubear
ound"
?
Me:
"t
omor
rowev
eni
ngIt
hink"
Hi
m:"
ohokay
,seey
oungeweekendke"
Me:
"seey
ou"
Hi
m:"
arey
ousur
eyou'
reokay
"?
Me:
"yesI
'
mfi
ne"
Hi
m:"
oh-
kay
,by
e"
Me:
"sur
e"

WhenAmandawal kedinmycof feewasfinished

al
readyf
ini
shkushiy
ekenjekancincionmypl ate,
we
huggedt
henshemadeherownor der
.WhenIwas
doneIor
deredthechocmilkshaketolev
el up

Her
:"
hehfr
iend,
uhambel
aphezul
u,
breakf
asti
na
r
est
aurant
"?
Me:
"hahaIwi
sh,
Igotst
oodup"
Her:
"ooohooo!Akhont
oingamadodakanene.
..
lont
o
you'
reglowi
ng"
Me:
"t
hanky
ou"
Her
:"
Jozil
ovesyouORt
hisnewmanr
eal
l
yknow
howtodohisthi
ng"
Me:
"haha!Knowi
nghedoes"
Her
:"
mmmh,
uthi
yij
ackpotchomi
"
Me:"
mor
e..
.buuuut
,andazman.Lat
elysomet
hing'
s
up"
Her
:"
somet
hingl
i
kewhat
?Cheat
ing"
?
Me:
"no.
..Idon'tt
hinkhe'
ddot
hat
.Act
ual
l
yhe'
snot
t
heproblem,Iam"
Her
:"
you?howso"
?
Me:"chomi.
..
sometimeswe'l
lastartaconver
sat
ion
onal i
ghtandfr
eenot e,
ndi
vel
andingayaziba
kuthenisi
vel
esixabaneandsayhurtf
ulthi
ngsto
eachother"
Her
:"
andy
oubl
amey
our
sel
f"
?
Me:
"I
'mt
heonewhost
art
sit
..
.ndi
yamphoxachomi
andkenay
euv
eleandi
dike"
Her
:"
youhav
eapr
egnantwoman'
ssy
mpt
omssana"
Me:
"noty
out
oo"
Her
:"
huh"
?
Me:
"mysi
bli
ngst
hinkI
'
m pr
egnant
.I'
m not
"
Her:
"well
from whaty
oujustsai
d,andt
hisgl
ori
ous
gl
ow,Icanbetyouarefr
iend"
Me:
"noman,
thet
estcameoutnegat
ive"
Her:
"thengot oar
eal
doctorandbesure,
orel
se
uyozbonasewngenandodasanacozyenaakazo
understander
"

Ikeptqui et
..
.nowIst artedtogetconcer
ned.Yho
whatt hehellam Igonnasayendl ini
?Mom anddad?
IfIdoar etake,t
histestbettermaint
aini
tsposi
tion-
negative!That'
sall.Aftereati
ngwedecidestojust
gof orwindowshoppi ng
El
i
zabet
hcal
l
edmeIt
hinkpastel
evenorso.
..
Me:
"Li
z"
Her
:"
hey
,taBeasti
sher
etoseey
ou"
Me:
"t
ell
himI
'
m notar
ound"
Her
:"
cummon,
hecameal
ltheway
"
Me:
"I
'm notar
ound"
Her
:"
you'
renot
?Wher
ear
eyou"
?
Me:
"V&A"
Her
:"
oh.
..
okay
"
Me:
"kay
"

Wehungup.
..

Me:
"angat
higqi
aphakesana"
Her
:"ungamphoxi
phambkwet
hukepl
z"

Ndat
hul
a..
.Hecal
l
edndajongauAmi sh,shelaughed
atmeandmovedfur
theri
ntotheshop,Itooka
di
ff
erentdi
rect
ion

Me:
"hm"
Hi
m:"
uphi
"
Me:
"ndi
phi
"?
Hi
m:"
eweSi
bongi
l
euphi
"?
Me:
"ut
hindi
phi
kant
iuLi
zzy
"
Hi
m:"
ndi
buzakuwemnabauphi
"
Me:
"sêt
ownNt
ando"
Hi
m:"
ndawni
etown,
i
nkul
uIt
own"
Me:
"uzondt
hini
"?
Hi
m:"
ndi
zokut
hini
?Uzmamel
ephof
"?
Me:"
li
keIdon'
tgeti
t,
youcanceledbreakfastcozyou
don'
twannabeseenwithmei npubli
cappar entl
y,
butnowyou'
resni
ff
ingbandiphi?I
thininalento"
Him:"
foronce,
j
ustforoncecanyouj
ustmakethi
ngs
easyandjustt
ell
mewher ethehel
lyouar
e"?
Me:
"once?OohcabaI
'
m maki
ngt
hingsdi
ff
icul
tfor
y
ou?Wowt
hanky
ouf
orshar
ing"

Hesi
ghed.
..

Hi
m:"
baby
"
Me:"
undf
unantoniNt
andoxakucabandikwenzel
a
ubomidi
ff
icul
t?Whyarey
oustil
lhere"
?
Hi
m:"
Sibongi
l
ekhawumengokundi
thet
he"
Me:
"heh"
Hi
m:"
ifIf
indyou,
bymyownmeans.I'
m comingback
wi
thyou,
ugqi
bil
eungagqi
bangal
ont
ouyenzakul
o
t
own"

Me:
"sokhesbone"
Hi
m:"
don'
tchal
l
engeme"
Me:"akhoboxi
ngr
ingkeapha,
unl
essy
ouhav
eiti
n
yourhead"
Hi
m:"
mxm"
Hehungup.
Iputmyphonei nmycl ut
ch,sawaj umpsui
tfor
Juniorndaythengajustnj
ewet hut
henItol
dAMish
I'
m goinghome, shesuggestedshewannadr i
veme
home: Duf ri
enduqhubai mot okabaewakhe,ny
hani
keIgav eherdirect
ionsshedr ovemehomendav uka
andwehuggedndagodukaf ikaKuhlel
wenjeeeI
gaveLizzylantokeJrandr emov edmyshoes

Ev
e:"
beastj
ustl
eftaf
ewmi
nut
esago"
Me:
"sur
e"
Her
:"
ever
ythi
ngokay
"?
Me:
"per
fect
"
Her
:"
ohkay
"

Itwasn'
tl
ongbef
oremyphoner
ang,
uNt
ando
akancamiev
ah?
Me:
"i
yaway
int
oni
ngoku"
Hi
m:"
ungakul
i
ngeundi
phendul
eel
ohl
obomna"
Me:
"whatdoy
ouwant
?
Him:
"Si
bon-sundphambanel
ababy
,sul
i
nga
undi
phambanele"

Iwalkedupst
air
s..
.OoevendlebezaboziiEver
eady
Powerplusbatt
erykanomathothol
o.Isatdownon
thebed

Me:
"mxm"
Hi
m:"
heee!
!!Yhel
a,
ugr
ankak'
hl
e"?
Me:"mntasendl
i
ni,
baawnantoingcono
uzanayo,
khandi
nikenj
eIspacendiphef
uml
e"
Hi
m:"
ohsonowI
'
m suf
focat
ingy
ou"
Me:"
I'
mtr
ynamaket
hingseasyf
ory
ou,
can'
tyou
see"
Hi
m:"
ify
ouwer
etr
ying,
ngendi
ngadangandazakul
e
mal
l
,youknow"
Me:
"Inev
eraskedy
ou,
youof
fer
ed"
Hi
m:"khawphumekeuzekwi
Westwi
ngy
epar
king
l
ot"
Me:
"sor
ry,
nocando"
Hi
m:"
Idon'
twannaembar
rassy
ou"
Me:
"ev
eni
fyout
ri
ed,
youwoul
dn'
tsucceed"
Hi
m:"
Sibongi
l
e"
Me:
"Nt
ando"
Hi
m:"
Sibongi
l
e"
Me:
"Nt
ando"
Hi
m:"
I'
m get
ti
ngt
ir
edofy
ourgames"
Me:
"don'
twor
ryI
'
m goi
nghomengomso"
Hi
m:"
I'
m get
ti
ngt
ir
edofy
ourat
ti
tude"
Me:"I
'
llmakel
i
feeasyf
ory
ou,
I
'l
lbl
ockandr
eject
yournumbery
abo"
Hi
m:"
toy
out
hisi
sal
lfunandgameshuh"
?
Me:
"canwewr
apt
hisup,
Iwannanap"
Hi
m:"youwanna-hol
yJesus!Sonowukokwenu?
Haykugezi
we"
Me:
"shar
p"
Hi
m:"
shar
p?Hehe!Hayuy
agezacal
alakhol
i
nye"
Me: "
onemor et
hing,partofmyst r
ategytomakel if
e
easyf oryouasIment i
onedbef or
eI'l
lrej
ectand
blocky ournumber,andI '
l
l makesureIdon'tgeti
n
yourspaceunnecessar i
ly.Soukusebenzisana,
pls
don'tcomeher ewhi leI'
m around,
don'tworry
ngomsoI '
ll
begonef orgood"
Hi
m:"
you'
reunbel
i
evabl
e"
Me:
"hav
eagoodday
"

Ihungup,blockedhi
snumber,
rej
ectedhi
s
cal
ls,
blockedhim ev
ery
wheregqibakwam ndal
ala.
[
10/
9,18:
44]‪+27730692704‬:
#127

AsIwassl
eepi
ngIswearIcoul
dsmel
lhi
scol
ogne,
I
tol
dmy selfhayndi shiywazi ngqondoorI '
mj ust
dreami ngy abo.Ifellbackint othisdeepsl eep
again..
.WhenIf i
nall
ywokeup, hewast herechi l
l
ed
onpoi nt,
justwat chingme. ..Igotoutofbedand
wentt othebat hr
oom andpukedkonkeokwakut ya
bendikutyenoMi sh, Ir
insedmymout h,
washedmy
faceandr eturnedtomyr oom Ij ustsatthere..
.he
wassi tti
ngonachai rneart hewi ndowf aci
ngmy
bed,Isatont hebed,crossedmyl egsfacingtowar ds
him andj ustlookeddownbet weenmycr ossedl egs
cozIdi dn'tknowwhatt osayt ohi m,y
esIwant edt o
saysomet hingbutIdi dn'tknowhowt osayi t.

Hi
m:"
you'
rest
il
lvomi
ti
ng"
?
Inod,
notl
ooki
ngathi
m
Hi
m:"
youst
il
lreckony
ifev
erneh"
?
Me:
"whyar
eyouher
e"?
Hi
m:"
Sund'
qhel
akakubi
ke"

Ndamj
onga
Me:
"huh"
?
Hi
m:"
sukundi
qhel
akakubi
Sibongi
l
e"

OkayIwant edt oanswerhi m sobad, andmynose

wast wi t
ching: /buttherewassomet hingdangerous
i
nhi sv oice.
..
somet hi
ngcoldandIf earedt he
wor st,
ndingat hi
nixaenondivalelakul eroom lomnt u?
Howt hehell didLizzyandEvel ethi m comeupher e?
Like,thesepeopl ear ehowMar a?: vIgot
up,remov edt hejeansandwor epj bot t
omsl eavi
ng
thev estont heni pull
edashawl andcov eredmy self
,
suppor ti
ngmybackwi thacont inental pi
ll
ow
ndajongakudenj engbay enaejongekum.

Hi
m:"
what
'sgoi
ngoni
nyourmi
nd"
?
Me:
"don'
tknow"
Hi
m:"
whatdoy
ouknow"
?
Me:
"youdon'
twannaknow"
Hesi ghed...
thent ookaf ewmi nutesbeforehecame
tositnextt ome.Isawsomepai nandst r
ainingin
hisey es,
face...Thev einswer eallvi
si
ble,t
hathurtme.
Especi al
l
yknowi ngt hatndim omenzeabenj e,
I
l
ookeddown, avoidingeyecont actcozIcoul dfeel
mychestopeni ngupngat hi ndines'
ngqalaandI
knewndi zolil
aonceIf eelthatwaysoIr at
her
avoidedey econt actsot hatingabingathindifuna
ucengwaorany thing.Het ouchedmyhand. ..I
almostpul l
edi taway ,
butIdidn't

Him:
"youknowy
ou'
rewr
ong,
admi
titandl
et'
smov
e
on"
Ndat
hul
a
Him:"Iboughtthese(heshowedmet hreehome
pregnancytestboxes)andIknowy ousayy ou'
renot
pregnantbutIknowIpr egnantwomanwhenIsee
one.SoI '
m heretobegy ou,
let
'sdothi
st ogether
"
Me:
"no.
..Youdon'
tunder
stand.Ican'
tbepr
egnant
"
Hi
m:"
iunderst
andverywell
andi pr
omisewe'
l
lface
t
heconsequencest
ogether
,Ipr
omise"
Me:
"no"
Hi
m:"
haycummon,y
int
onngokui
ngat
hI'
m deal
i
ng
wi
thSi
not
hando"
?
:
/okaysur
e!
Hi
m:"
ina"
Me:"AndifIam?I '
m sor rybutI '
m notr eadytobea
mom okay ?I'm notr eadyt opushabi gst omachfor
ni
nemont hsincampus, hav i
ngthosev ultur
esgossip
aboutmeev ery whereIt urn, whatwi ll
Itellmom and
dad?ThatIal sobecamel ikeEv e,gotpregnantinmy
fi
rstyearofv ar si
tyinf actt hatI
'm pregnantwi t
ha
gangsta'
schi ld? ,
I'
m notr eadyt ogett he'Itol
dy ou
so'fr
om mybr others,myf riends,YOURf ri
ends..
.Now
pl
s,canwej ustdr opt hist hing"
Him:"khawyekeubamuncuSi bongil
e!Whet
heryou
takethetestornotyou'
resti
l
l goi
ngtohavetof
ace
allt
hesepeopleeventual
ly
"
Me:
"yesev
ent
ual
l
y,notnow"
Hi
m:"
youknow,
you'
reupt
oher
e"?

Hemadeani ndicat
ionr efer
ringtohi sneck...I
l
ookeddownagai n.Hiscal mnesswaswor r
ying
me,ngokengathi uyandishoutahisv oiceisact ual
l
y
i
nitslowestanduy acacabaudi kiweny hani
.Hekept
ontalki
ngandt alki
ng,ngomsi ndoIgotupandwent
tothebathr
oom wi ththet hreetests,
di dtheur i
ne
thi
ngndabuyandamni kaandcov eredmy selfngal
a
shawl

Hi
m:"
khawy
ekeubachi
l
dishokay
"
Me:"
youwantedt
estsri
ght?Nazoke
ndi
kuni
ki
le,
cl
osethedooronyourwayout
"

Youthi
nkhemov edani
nch?Hestayedri
ghtt
her
e..
.I
wascuri
ousbutIwasaf
rai
dofthetrut
hcoznowI
thi
nkIknewwhatweret
heresul
ts.

Hi
m:"
youdon'
twannaknowwhatt
het
est
ssay
"?
Me:
"no"
Hi
m:"
notev
enoneoft
het
hree"
?
Icountedsil
ent
lyf
rom onetoten,
thenIremovedt
he
shawlfrom myheadandturnedtofacehim.Hewas
smil
ingbutnottheki
ndasmi l
eI'
dwi shhewas
smil
ing,hi
ssmil
esaidi
tall
.
Hegav
emeone,
Ishookmyhead

Hi
m:"
erh.
..
Ithi
nki
tsbesti
fyour
eadi
tyour
sel
f"
Me:
"ha.
anababe,
j
ustdoi
tsi
gqi
thekul
ent
o"
Hi
m:"
wel
l
..
.t
hey
'r
eal
luhm,
posi
ti
ve"
Me:
"no"
Hi
m:"
you'
repr
egnant
"
Me:
"no,
no,
noNO"
Hi
m:"
hey
,hey
..
.Don'
tcr
ynow"

Yhohaikewhodoesn'
tknowny
embezizenzi
wa
ekhay
a?Istar
tedrel
easi
ngmytr
ademarkzehl
a
woooobutIwasn'
tmaki
nganysound,
vel
ekuv
akal
e
i
singqal
aqha.

Icuddledmykneesandbawl edmyey esout,he

camecl oserandhuggedme, Icri
ed..
.noIwepti n
sil
ence,hecoul donl
ydoj ustt hatandmyent irebody
washeat i
nguponceagai n,Iwasshi veringumzimba
wonke.WhenIf i
nal
lystopped, myheadwas
throbbingsobadIcoul dn'topenmyey eswide
enoughnam ndav el
andazi yekelel
andaci melaandI
didn'twannat alkj
ustyet.

Hi
m:"
nowt hat'
soutoft
heway
,weneedt
ofi
gur
eout
awayfor
war d"

Ij
ustl
ayonmyback,
myv
estwassoaki
ngwetkubi
l
a.

Hi
m:"
Sibongi
l
e"
Me:
"mh"
Hi
m:"
saysomet
hing"
Me:
"hm.
mh"
Hi
m:"
hehf
ondi
nkhawt
het
he,
yi
ntonman"
Me:
"yhouy
and'
ngxol
elamnt
anomnt
u"
Him:"
ndit
hini
kewhenyoudon'
twannatalk?And
uzi
xoli
sekwangokukenont
ombi,awzokhuphasi
su
apha"
Me:
"orwhat
"?
Him:
"hayungandi
phambanel
imnaS'bongi
l
e
awzokhuphasi
suaphauthenngoku"
?
Me:
"ndcel
auhambe"
Hi
m:"
andi
yindawount
ilwehav
easer
ioust
alk"
Me:"babeIdon'twannatal
k..
.Okay
?Ijust
..
.Iwanna
l
ayr i
ghther
e,l
i
ket hi
s,
cl
osemyey essl
eepifpossi
ble
andmay be,
j
ustmay bewhenIwakeupmyl if
ewi l
lbe
exactl
ywhatIplanneditt
obe"
Him:"okay,
youneedti
met oprocessal
loft
his,
Iget
thatbutIhaveaplea.
..
stopshutt
ingmeoutkuse
earl
yf oral
loft
hesefi
ghtsbetweenus"
Me:
"I
'm.
..Okay
"
Hi
m:"
sowher
eto?Fr
om her
e"?
Me:
"Ij
ustwannagohome,
that
'sal
l
"
Him:"y
oudon'twantust
oseeadoct
ororany
thi
ng
orthatsor
t"
?
Me:
"no.
..Nonoty
et"
Him:
"andanothert
hing,t
hiscr
azystubbor
nnessof
your
sisnothelpi
ngeitheroneofus"

Andamphendula...EventhoughI'
veheardt heresul
ts
Ikeptt
ell
i
ngmy self,
nopethei
rinaccurat
ewet hu.
AndNtandowasget ti
ngonmyner ves:olomntu
akadi
nwakuthet hatu.
[
10/
9,18:
44]‪+27730692704‬:
#128

Webot hfel
li
ntothist
hicksi
lence,
Iwasget
ti
ng
col
d,st
il
lshi
veryandtheweatheroutsi
dewas
changi
nghadaLi lcol
dbreezeandshowersofr
ain.I
gotupandsearchedforahoodie,
Hi
m:"
Ithi
nki
tsbesti
fyousl
eepov
ert
oni
ght
"
Me:
"no,
I
'l
lbef
iner
ighther
e"
Hi
m:"
don'
tfor
gettopackext
racl
othes,
yourl
unch
wi
tht
heTit
ustwin"
Me:
"butIsai
dI'
m notgo-
"

Mxm Idi dn'

tseeapoi nti
nar gui
ngwi t
hhim,Itook
outblackr i
ppedjeans,
thesamewhi t
elacecropped
topandt hesneakersIwasgonnawearear li
er
beforeHEst oodmeup.Ipackedmyt oil
etr
ybag
alongwitht hesecl
othesthenIremov edlevest
i
manzi andwor emyPJt op,madesur eIhad
everyt
hingIneededwi thmei ncl
udingthe
medicationl omnt
uubusyonhi sphoneallthi
st i
me

Me:
"I
'm done"
Hi
m:"
leadt
heway
"
It
ookmybagandl
edt
heway
,Iwentt
oki
ssJr

Li
z:
"hey
,yougoi
ng"
Me:
"yeah,
bebackaf
terl
unchIt
hink"
Eve:
"t
hankGod..
.Iwasst
art
ingt
owor
ryy
ou'
l
ldi
eof
depr
essi
oninthatroom"

Ijustsmi l
edandl ef
t,
Nt andowasl eftbehind
encokolasomet hi
ngwi ththem Iwaitedoutside.My
headwasr unningincircl
es,soIsatdownandl ooked
downbet weenmyknees. .
.hecameoutandopened
thecar ,
Iwasaf ewst epsawayf rom thecarsohe
j
ustl ookedatmeandgoti n,mysideont hefarend:/
damnndi ci
ngal edi
stancekengoky ophakamaapha
andwal kt othedoor:o

Hi
m:"
canwego"
Me:
"j
ustasecond"
Itr
iedgettingup.
..AndIsucceeded.Probl
em is,
I
couldn'
tmov eforward,
ntl
okoyam yavelayaj
i
keleza
andIstartedfeel
ingnauseasagain.Ihel
dontoa
poleforsupportandIwasslippi
ng,cozmyhands
wereslipperywetwithsweat

Hi
m:"
bab-ohwhatnow"

Ihear
dhe'sget
ti
ngoutoft
hecar
,whenIf
elthi
s
hand,
Ibl
ankedout.
-
WhenIwokeupIwasi nhi sbed..
.withiceonmy
forehead:oIopenedmyey esandl ooked
around,gqibandaphakamaandsatup.Hewas
sleeping,
emini?Nt andobesleepingdur ingtheday?
Hayangekhe!It r
iedgetti
ngoutofbed, Ineededt he
bathroom soIt estedmyf ateandr eali
zedt hatI
couldwal kthedistancefrom thebedt ot helooandI
did,f
ikaebat hr
oom andwashedmyf ace.Isawt hatI
hadbl oodinmynose: /Itri
edblowi ngitkanti
ndimoshileke..
.lavelal
abhobhozangat hili
phuma
kwitap.Igrabbedanear bytowelandndcov eredmy
noseasIwal kedbackt owher eIputtheice
ndaphindandalalangomqol oandputt heiceonmy
for
ehead.Idon'tknowwhybutt heminut eIclosed
myey es,t
earsstart
edflowing.Maybej ustmay beI
sawhowt hi
swhol esi
tuati
onwasaf fectinghim even
i
fhewasn' tgonnasayso.

Icri
edbecauseIwast hedisappointmentIwas
warnednott obe,Icr i
edbecauseIf ellintot histr
ap
nowI '
m nodi f
ferentfrom Anel i
saorChuma, Icri
ed
becauseIt r
iedthinkingaboutmyf utureasa
gangastasbabymomma, t
hedr amat hatIper cei
ved
wast oomuchandIpr ayedsil
entlythatGodmust n'
t
givemeason, Chumawi llbeont heout pathofwar
cozumnt anakhei sthehei rsoifIbor eNt andoason
zobangathiI'
mt rynar iphersonofhi shei rshipandI
wasn't.
..
Iwasn'tlookingf ortroublefrom any onebut
Iwassur ethat'
sal lIwasgonnagetf rom nowon.I
didnotbyonechancedoubthe' llt
akecar eofmebut
Iwasr eal
lyafrai
doft heexposur enowf r
om bot h
Husf ri
endsandf oes.Bendi nesingqalaf rom cr y
ing
andIcouldn'tcont
rol
thatoneke..
.hewokeupand
sawthatI'
m cr y
ingwasondel
acloserthanhealr
eady
was..
.Idi
dn'twannaopenmyey es,butIcoul
dfeelhi
s
breat
hing

Me:
"I
'm sor
ry"
Hi
m:"
sssh"
Me:"
ifIcoul
d,Iwoul
dturnbacktheti
meandbe
saf
er..
.I
'
mr eall
ysor
ryforwhatIputusi
n"
Hi
m:"
babe,
don'
tdot
his"
Me:"
Ntando,al
lthi
sti
meI'
vebeenwit
hyouI'
venever
seenyousleepi
ngduri
ngtheday
.Youneverhav
e"
Hi
m:"
it
snotbecauseofy
ou,
I
'mj
ustt
ir
est
hat
'sal
l
"

Ndat
hul
a

Hi
m:"
vukas'
ncokol
e"
Isatupndasusal
atowel
from myf
oreheadand
l
ookedathi
m asIfi
nishedwi
pingmyey
es,
thenose
bl
eedi
nghadstopped.

Him:"
Iunder
standy
ou'r
eunderalotofpr
essur
eand
yourhor
moneshavetakenover
"
Me:
"no,
I
'vej
ustbeeni
nsensi
ti
vet
hat
'sal
l
"
Him:"t
omor r
owwe' l
l gotoadoct or
,he'
l
lexpl ai
nalot
ofthi
ngstoy ouregar di
ngthechangesweshoul d
expectinyourbodyandpsy chol
ogical
st at
eandt hat
doesn'tmeany ou'
ll
gocr azy,j
ustmeast here'l
lbe
someemot i
onalrol
lercoast
ersthatyoushoul d
expectandbeawar eof "
Me:
"kay
"
Hi
m:"
wecandot
his"
Me:
"I
'm notsur
e"
Hi
m:"
hav
efai
th"

Il
ookedar
ound,
l
ooki
ngf
ormyphone.
Hi
m:"
ufunani
"
Me:
"myphone"
Hi
m:"i
tschar
ging,
yi
yeke.Tal
ktomeaboutyour
f
eel
ingsandthought
saboutthi
ssi
tuat
ionwe'r
ein"
Me:
"canwej
ustwai
tti
l
lwegot
othedoct
or"
?
Hi
m:"
okay
"
Me:
"t
hanks.
..
butnow,
I
'm hungr
y"
Hi
m:"
sizophekant
oni
orshoul
dwebuyt
akeaway
s"?
Me:
"ha.
asambesopheka"

Wewal keddownst ai
rsoneaf tertheot her
,ha.
ana
l
antoy obaaveleamdi dikeibi
buyaagai n:'
(Ididn'
t
knowhowt oaddr essi ttohimthough,especiall
y
si
ncehe' sbeenv erysuppor ti
veevent hroughoutthi
s
i
shI '
vebeengivinghi m.Whenwer eachedt he
ki
tchenIwasqui te, v
el endenzeqhal entondifuna
uyenzaandhej ustst oppedwandi jamel a

Hi
m:"
spi
titout
"
Me:
"mh"
?
Hi
m:"
yint
onngoku"
?

Isi
ghedandputt
hekni
fedown.
..

Me:
"Idon'
tknowhowt
oexpl
aint
his"
Hi
m:"
don'
texpl
ain,
j
ustsayi
t"
Me:"I
'm sor
ryneh,
butndi
vel
andi
dikwey
ipr
esence
yakho"
Hi
m:"
oht
hat
,Inot
iced"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ry"
Hi
m:"
ndi
kudi
ki
lenangoku"
Me:
".
..Yes"
Him:"
okay,
I
'l
lgi
vey
ousomespace.
..
cal
lmei
fyou
needanyt
hing"

Iwat
chedhi
m go.
..
Me:
"uzoy
aphi
kengok"
?
Him:"
Ihavetogosomewhereany
way
,qha
bendi
sonqenaukushi
yawedwa"
Me:
"oh"

Hewalkedout.
..Icookedussupperandnowt
hathe
wasn'
taroundIfel
tli
ghter
.
[
10/
9,18:
45]‪+27730692704‬:
#129

Idi
dn'
twaitforhi
mt ocomebackbecauseIsensed
hewouldn'
tcomebackjusty
et,
Idi
shedupf orboth
ofussepar
atelyndat
yamnathenIwatchedTV.
Tookmyphoneandcal l
edmom

Her
:"
lookwhodeci
dedt
orememberhome"
Me:
"heymom"
Her
:"
mydeary
ousounddown,
howar
eyou'
'
?
Me:
"I
'm goodhow'
sev
ery
thi
ngathome"
?
Her
:"
ever
ythi
ng'
sper
fectmydear
"

Somet
hinginthatanswerdi
dn'
tsi
twel
lwi
thme.
..
Shewashidi
ngsomet hi
ngfr
om me.

Me:
"how'
sdad"
Her
:"
yourdad?He'
sgood"
Me:
"mom Iknowsomet
hingIwr
ong,
pleaset
ell
me"
Her
:"
nonot
hingi
swr
ongmydear
"
Me:
"mom"

Shesighed,
Iwai
tedf
orhert
otal
kcozsomet
hing
wasreall
yup

Her
:"
dadi
snotv
erywel
l
"
Me:
"what
'swr
ongwi
thhi
m"?
Her
:"he'
sdi
agnosedwithl
ungcancerandi
thas
spr
eadsomucht her
e'snot
hingwecandoabouti
t"
Me:
"no"
Her
:"
seewhyIdi
dn'
twannat
ell
you"
Me: "
no,
no..
.Sowejustsi
tbackandwatchhi
m di
ein
pain?No,t
heremustbesomespecial
i
stwecanget
forhim"
Her
:"
hesayshedoesn'
twannawast
emoneyf
ort
he
i
nevi
tabl
e"
Me:
"hav
eyout
oldMar
c?OrLuke"
?
Her
:"
no.
..Wedon'twannast
ressMar
cuswi
tht
his
j
oyhehasjustr
eceiv
ed"
Me:
"butmom"
Her
:"
andLukehasbeeninandoutofthecount
ryso
wehaven'
thadachancetotal
ktohi
m"
Me:"
mom,whydoIf
eell
ikey
ouwer
enotpl
anni
ngt
o
t
ell
usthatdadi
ssi
ck"
?
Her
:"
that
'snott
ruebaby
"
Me:
"okay
,i
fthat
'ssot
hendi
dyouatl
eastt
ell
Ker
i?
Ev
e?Oneofy
ourchi
l
dren"
?
Her
:"
noandIhadgoodr
eason"
Me:
"yho"
Her
:"
wheni
syourl
astexam"
?
Me:
"i
ntwoweeksandI
'
llbecomi
nghome"
Her:
"noproblem,butpr
omisemey ouwon'tt
ell
your
si
bli
ngs.Wheny ouandEveret
urnhome,
I'
llmake
sur
ey ourbrothersdotoosoI'
l
ltel
lev
ery
oneatt he
samet i
me"
Me:
"okay
"
Her
:"
thanky
ouf
orcal
l
ing,
mychi
l
d"
Me:
"I
'l
lbeanui
sancef
rom nowonma"
Her
:"
youknowIdon'
tmi
nd"
Me:
"Il
ovey
ou"
Her
:"
Ilov
eyoubabygi
rl
"
Me:
"gr
eetdaddyf
orme"
Her
:"
Iwi
l
l,
keepsaf
e"
Me:
"t
hanky
ou"
Wehungup. .
.Nowhowt hehellam Isupposedt o
keepthissecret?Ihav emyownwhi chIboundt o
comeoutpr ettysoonbutt onott ellmysibli
ngst hat
dadisdy i
ngisj ustabsurd.I
twasn' tevensupper
ti
mey et,t
obeaccur at
eitwast of i
veandIwasn' t
sl
eepyatal l
.Ijustneededt ojob,butndizojogger
naban?Ican'tswi m nowkuy abanda- _-nowImi ssed
Jo'
burgsomuchcozI 'dbeoutt heresweat i
ngitall
out.Iwashedmypl ateandwentt ositonthe
couch..
..Deci
dedt ocall
him makabuy engoku

Hi
m:"
babe"
Me:
"ndi
cel
aubuy
e"
Hi
m:"
I'
m busyr
ightnow,
I
'l
lcal
lyouback"
Me:
"oh"

Iheardafami
l
iarv
oicekwi
backgr
ound.
..Thensome
shuff
li
ng.
Owe:
"si
simol
o"
Me:
"hey
,mol
oboyunj
ani
"?
Hi
m:"
I'
m okayt
hanky
ou,
Imi
ssy
ou"
Me:"
cel
akut
atakhouzondbonandi
yahamba
ngomso"
Hi
m:"
okay
"
Me:
"seey
ouj
ustnow"
Hi
m:"
baumamaakav
umi
"?
Me:
"mcengeboy
"
Hi
m:"
okayke.
..
ndi
zomcenga.By
eby
e"
Me:
"goodl
uckbaby
"

Sincehi
sdadsaidhewasbusy ,
Ihungupr ightaft
er
speaki
ngwithOwe..
.Isattherethi nki
ng,
dadcan'tdie
now.Yestheyar
eold,li
kethey '
rereall
yoldbut ,
no
man.Noneofushasgr aduat edy etsohecan' tr
eall
y
dienowandkesanaabant ubecancerbay athanda
unikwaIsi
xmonthst oli
ve.Hav ingheardthesenews
i
nmyemot i
onal
stat
e,everythingjustgottooheav y.I
cuddledmy sel
fonthatcouchdeepint
hought..
.I
onlysnappedsekukudalaandmyphonewasr inging
:/Idon'tknowforhowlongithadbeenri
nging,I
wipedmyt earssni
ffi
ngandansweredthephone

Me:
"l
ow"
Hi
m:"
don'
ttel
lmey
ou'
vebeencr
yingkwakhona"
Me:
"noIwasn'
t
"
Hi
m:"
yourv
oicei
s..
.Nevermind,
I
'm onmywayhome
wi
thOwent
andosikut
hengel
enton"
?
Me:
"noI
'
m cool
thanks"
Hi
m:"
you'
resur
e"?
Me:
"yes"
Hi
m:"
okay
..
.seey
ouj
ustnow"
Me:
"sur
e"

Afterhangi
ngupIranupst
air
sandwashedmy
face,
putonv ani
shi
ngcr
eam ndabuy
elaezant
siand
watchedamov i
e.Theycamein,
lol
Owecamet ohug
me,sancokolanj
e,hi
sdadlookedatmesuspici
ously
Ipr
etendednott oseehim,Idi
dn'
twannaarguewith
hi
m now. .
.I'
vehadenoughofthatforoneday.

Hi
m:"
hav
eyoueat
en"
Me:
"yes,
cel
auphakel
enoOwe,
your
sisi
ntheov
en"
Hi
m:"
sur
e"

NdahlalandincokolanoOwel olhe's
changed,akafanil
ikethef i
rstti
meImethi m,hisdad
camebackwi thhisfoodwat y
abancokol amna
ndabukelaITV.Pastei ghtIdecidedt ogoandsl eep
soIleftthem besenzaIhomewor kkaOwe, Ireached
upstair
sndakhul ulaandbat hed.Isoakedmy self
ther
e,Itr
iedcalli
ngmybr ot
herhaysanaay phumel i
ndazamandancama. ..Thi shasgott obethewor st
dayofmyl i
fe.Fi
ndingoutI '
m pregnantandt hatmy
dadisdy ingofcancer.I tcouldn'tgetworstthan
thi
s..
.Heknockedont hedoor ,
Ididn'
tanswerhi m so
hejustcamei nandst oodatadi stancewatchingme
Me:
"I
'm notgonnadr
ownmy
sel
f"
Hi
m:"youwoul
dn'
tdare.
..
nowcomeout
,uzongezel
aI
f
everngal
ent
ouyenzayo"
Me:
"kay
"

Hedidn'
tmove,
Ididn'tmove.Ifoundsol
aceinjust
cl
osingmyeyesandl et
ti
ngthebubblesmeltaround
mybodysoIjustclosedmyey esandmeditated
pr
etendi
ngl
ikehe'snothere

Me:
"pl
scl
oset
hedoor
"
Hi
m:"
I'
m wai
ti
ngf
ory
ou"
Me:
"Nt
andobr
ai-mxm nev
ermi
nd"

Idrai
nedthewat eroutoft
hebat handcleanedit
thenIdri
edmybodywi thatowel,
wenttot he
bedroom ndanxi
baPJsandgoti ntobedl ooki
ngthe
otherway..
.hecameandundr esses,
woreboxers
onl
ywal
alangomqol
o.Myphoner
ang.
..Soso

Me:
"hey
"
Hi
m:"
hey
,yousl
eepi
ngal
ready
"
Me:
"somet
hingl
i
ket
hat
"
Hi
m:"
okay
..
.ar
ewest
il
lonf
ort
omor
row"
?
Me:
"yeah"
Hi
m:"
Iwasthi
nki
ng,
can'
twedobreakf
ast
?Ihappen
t
ohaveafami
lymeeti
ngbyl
unchti
me"
Me:
"okay
,whatt
ime"
?
Hi
m:"
noy
ouchooset
het
ime"
Me:
"l
et'
sdot
ent
hen"
Hi
m:"
alr
ight
,shoul
dIpi
cky
ouup"
?
Me:
"no,
Iuhm,
I
'l
lfi
ndmywaydon'
twor
ry"
Hi
m:"
okay
.Seey
ouatbr
eakf
ast
"
Me:
"seey
out
henbuddy
"
Wehungup.Ical
l
edmom agai
n..
.

Her
:"
babygi
rl
"
Me:
"mom,
how'
sdad"
?
Her
:"
he'
ssl
eepi
ngnow"
Me:
"okay
,I
'l
lcal
lagai
nint
hemor
ning"
Her
:"
okay
,sl
eept
ightbaby
"
Me:
"t
hanky
ou,
goodni
ght
"
Her
:"
night
"

Isi
ghedandcl osedmyey es,Isooowi shIhad
ubuthongondil
alebutIdidn't,
Ispenteventherestof
myr eser
veearli
er.Thi
ngis,Idon'tknowwhatIwas
supposedtosayt oNtando: /Ididn'
treal
lywanna
tal
ktohim,IcouldsayIwant edtobehel dclosefora
cuddle,
maybeaki ssonthef oreheadbutnot al
ki
ng.

Hi
m:"
somet
hing'
sbot
her
ingy
ou"
Me:
"hm.
mh"
Hi
m:"
cummon"
Me:
"babepl
s"
Him:
"Ican'
thel
pifyoudon'
ttel
lmewhaty
ou'
re
goi
ngthroughkodwakebabe"
Me:
"when'
smybr
othercomi
nghome"
Hi
m:"
urhm.
..Ngomso"
Me:
"whenl
astdi
dyout
alkt
ohi
m"?
Hi
m:"
ear
li
ert
oday
"
Me:
"kay
"
Hi
m:"
why
"
Me:
"Ican'
treachhi
m onphone"
Hi
m:"
may
beheswi
tchedi
tof
f"
Me:
"i
fyousayso"

Ndathul
agqi
bakwam...Well
weslept,
i
nfacthesl
ept
.
WhenIwassurehe'
sfastasl
eepIlef
tthebedand
wentdownst
air
swit
hmyphonendabukel aLawand
order
.Itr
iedMarcusagai
nbutIcoul
dn'tr
eachhi
m
ndancamandafounel
auLuke.Hepickedup
i
mmedi atel
y

Hi
m:"
you'
resupposedt
obesl
eepi
ng"
Me:
"Ican'
t,
whenl
astdi
dyouspeakt
oMar
c"?
Hi
m:"
Mar
c?Why
"?
Me:
"noIj
ustwantknow,
Ican'
treachhi
m onphone"
Hi
m:"
wel
lther
e'sagoodexpl
anat
ionf
ort
hat
"
Me:
"t
her
eis"
?
Hi
m:"
yeahuhm.
.Mar
cwasshott
hisaf
ter
noonb-
"
Me:
"what
?Wher
e?Howi
she"
?
Hi
m:"
BUT,
hei
sal
ri
ght
"
Me:
"he'
sal
ri
ght
?How"
?
Him:"
thebul
letgr
azedhi
m,i
tdidn'
tpenet
rat
e.You
havetopromisemeyouwon'ttel
lany
onethough"
Me:
"you'
reki
ddi
ng"
Hi
m:"
I'
m ser
ious,
hedoesn'
twantt
oupsetl
i
zort
he
f
olks"
Me:
"yho.
..
okay
"
Hi
m:"
nowgot
osl
eep.I
'
llupdat
eyoui
nthemor
ning"
Me:
"kay
"

Wehungup. .
.mythroatwasdr y.Whyoneartham I
theonetoholdtheseawful secr
ets?Ontheother
hand.
..Whydidn'
tNtandot ellmethatmybrother
wasshot?Somuchf ornothav i
ngsecr
etsinthi
s
rel
ati
onshi
p.
[
10/
9,18:
45]‪+27730692704‬:
#130

Istayedupunt il
Iwashungr yagainbutIdidn'
twant
food,Iwant edi
cecream soIwantt oscoopi tupf or
my selfyagcwalaIbowl,Isearchedforwafersor
biscuits,
andIfoundthem int hebreadbinIatet hem
withthecr eam.Hewal kedinphaaangepast01: 00
orsoandcamet ositdownnextt ome. .
.Het ookmy
spoonandat emyicecr eam, ci
mbandi zot
het ha?No
Iwasn' tgonnasayany t
hing.
Hi
m:"di
dyouatl
eastgetsomer
est
,cozIdoubty
ou
sl
eptonebi
t"
?
Me:
"yeah"
Him:
"youknowi
gnor
ingmei
sn'
tgonnahel
panyof
us"
Me:
"yeah"
Hi
m:"
ufunandi
thi
nikeS'
bongi
l
e"
Me:"
Iwantyoutotel
lmewhyy
oudi
dn'
ttel
lmemy
br
othergotshot
"
Hi
m:"
oh"

Cwaka..
.Idi
dn'
tl
ookathim,Idi
dn'
trepeatt
he
quest
ion,
Idi
dn'
tdoanyt
hing.Ij
ustwait
ed.

Hi
m:"
baby
"
-
Hi
m:"
Baby
"?
Me:
"mh"
Hi
m:"
Ididn'
ttel
lyoubecausehei
nsi
stedwekeepi
t
t
ooursel
ves"
Me:
"sot
hat
'showt
hingswi
l
lbebet
weenus"
?
Him:
"no,
butwheni tcomest
obusi
nessImaket
he
busi
nessdeci
sions"
Me:"
youdoknowt hatheismybrotherf
ir
stbefore
bei
ngabusinessassoci
ate?Andifhegetshurtt
he
l
eastyoucandoistotell
me,notkeepmei nthe
dar
k"
Hi
m:"Idon'
tdi
scussbusi
nessathome,
eveni
ffami
l
y
i
sinv
olved.I
tsbet
tert
hatway"
Me:
"mmh"
Hi
m:"
nowi
fImayask.
..
whot
oldy
ou"
Me:
"doesn'
tmat
ter
"
Hi
m:"
okayI
'
m sor
ry"
Me:
"don'
tbe,
i
tsj
ustbusi
ness.Ri
ght
"?
Hi
m:"
thenwhyar
eyoumaki
ngmef
eel
badabouti
t"
Me:
"I
'm maki
ngy
ou?How"
?
Hi
m:"
babes"
Me:
"don'
tbot
her
,ambol
ala.
..
"
Hi
m:"
I'
m act
ual
l
ygoi
ngout
"

Ndamj
onga.
..
hebet
terbeki
ddi
ng!

Him:"
there'
ssomethi
ngIhav
etoat
tendt
o,I
'
llbe
backbeforeyouwakeup"
Me:
"ubundi
that
hel
elent
oekhay
a"?
Him:
"khay
ekeubasensi
ti
ve,
Iwon'
ttakeev
enan
hour
"
Me:
"mxm,
dowhat
everf
il
lsy
ourcooki
ejar
"
Hi
m:"
uyazbona"
?

Il
efthi
mt hereandwentupst
air
s,f
ikandangena
ezi
ngubeni.Maybet
histi
meIwillsleepny
hani.
YeahIf ell
asleepshame, notev enf orlongphof u.I
wokeupandsatal onei nt hatbed. .
.Bef orewhenI '
m
stressedIusedt oeatal ot,butnowIt hinkI '
m
starti
ngt oloosesl eepcozIr eallyal otonmymi nd.I
l
ookedonwher ehe' ssupposedt obesl eepi ngandI
feltashar ppai ndeepi nmyhear t,
tearsst ungmy
eyessohar dIshutt hem downi npr eventionbutI
couldn' t
..
.YazIaskedmy selfwhyI '
m cr yingbutI
didn'thav eananswerr eady ...allIhadwast ears
andmor etears.Ihear dt hedooropeni ngf rom
downst ai
rs,Iquickl ywipedmyt earsandcov ered
my selfsot hatangaboni nt ohecameupst airsand
gotinbed, gav emehi sbackandmusthav ef all
en
asleep.Jongat hist imeIt riedmybestt of allsleep
kodwadol oloabuzi tuIpl ay edpacmanonmyphone
:)itseemedl iket heonl yt hingIcoul ddongel xesha
andIwasn' tev enhungr y.Iwant edt ocuddl ebutI
wasaf rai
dofuphoxwa: /Idon' tli
kei twhenwe
fi
ght .
..Verbally,kobeki selaphi ifweev err eacha
stagewher ewef ightphy si call
y?I fweev err each
thatst age.WhenIwast iredofpl ay i
nggamesIwent
closert ohim put ti
ngmyar m slowl yacr osst ough
bodyunt i
lIset t
led,hemov edaLi lbutdi dn't
tur
n...
justf eel
inghi swar mthwasenought odr agme
tosleep.Isl eepfort herestofthef ewhourst hat
werel eftbutst i
llndavukakuqalakunay e.Iwent
downst airsandmadebr eakfast.
..
forthethreeofus.
Imadepor r i
dgeenci ncithenIdishedupi nt
osmal l
bowls,soakedt hepoti nhotwat erasIpreparedt o
maket hecont i
nent albreakf
ast.Owent andowal ked
i
nall smi l
es

Hi
m:"
goodmor
ning"
Me:
"mor
ningt
oyou,
sl
eptwel
l
"?
Hi
m:"
ver
y,what
'
sforbr
eakf
ast
"?
Me:"y
oucanst
artwi
tht
hatbowl
thengobat
hfor
school"
Hi
m:"
Ithought.
..Ar
ether
enoeggs"
?
Me:
"you'
ll
eatt
hem wheny
ou'
vebat
hedandr
eady
f
orschool"
Hi
m:"
soundsf
air
.Wher
e'sdad"
?
Me:
"st
il
lsl
eepi
ng"
Hi
m:"
hebet
terbeupbef
oreIgo"
Me:
"unl
essI
vori
sdr
ivi
ngy
out
oschool
"
Hi
m:"
heeey
azut
ata"
Il
aughedathim..
.andencour agedhimtoeatup.
ThenIgotbusywiththerestoft hebr
eakfast.Owe
ateupandranbackupstairs,
Iatemyownpor r
idge
andwenttohelphim pr
epar eforschool,
Ii
ronedhis
unif
orm,
packedhisbooksandmadehi sbed.
Me:
"shoul
dIal
sopackal
unchboxf
ory
ou"
?
Him:"
mom usual
l
ygi
vesmemoneybut
,I
'
dli
kel
unch
enkosisi
si"
Me:
"okay
..
.l
et'
sgodown"

Wewentdownst air
sImadehiml unch,
disheduphis
breakfastonapl atewatya,
Iwenttocheckonhi s
dad,hewasst il
lsleepi
ng.It
ookoneofhi sphonest o
l
ookf orIvor
'snumber ,
Igotitt
henndahamba
ndabuy el
aKuboy ,
li
kewhenIhadhi sphone,Iwas
temptedt ocheckmessages: vanythi
ngt ohold
againsthim butndaqondbanowi snotthet i
met o
snoopar
ound.
.

Me:
"sowhatel
se"
?
Hi
m:"
wel
l
..
.Pl
scal
lMrI
vor
"
Me:
"he'
sonhi
sway
"
Hi
m:"
okay
,thenwe'
redone.Thanky
ou"
Me:
"so,
howmuchpocketmoneydoy
ouusual
l
yget
"?
Hi
m:"
R20si
si"
Me:"wel
lsi
nceIwon'
tbeseei
ngy
out
omor
rowhow
aboutIgi
veyouR50"
Hi
m:"
don'
tl
etdadheary
ou"

Wesmi l
edandsharedahug,heardaknockandt hen
Iv
ortookhimtoschool
.Idishedupbae' sbreakf
ast
i
ntoaplate.Makehi
m coff
eej ustthewayhel i
kesit
andwentupstai
rsndamvusaasIputt hetraynex tt
o
him.
..
heturnedandopenedhisey eskanci
nci
Me:
"br
eakf
asti
sready
"
Hi
m:"
mh"

Ipushedhim aLi
lsoIcansitwherehesl
ept
,he
mov edandsatuplooki
ngconfused

Hi
m:"
it
snotmybi
rt
hday
,ri
ght
"?
Me:"
no,but
..
.Iwant
edt
odosomet
hingni
ce.Apeace
of
feri
ng"
Hi
m:"
ohokay
"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ry"
Hi
m:"
hey
,kuseear
lyf
ort
hatemot
ional
roadt
ri
p"
Me:
"Iknow.
..
butasIsai
d,t
hisi
smypeaceof
fer
ing"

Hesmi led,okaynowthatwasaninvi
tati
onformeto
kisshim.Okosi si
l
wathesepastf
ewday swehaven'
t
real
lyconnect ed.Wekissedf
orawhilethenImoved
back,st
ill
smi li
ng
Me:"I
'm sorr
yf orbeinghardony ouaboutt
his
pregnancything,andIpromiseIwon'tmeddleon
yourbusinessory ourbusinessethi
csagai
n"
Hi
m:"
enkosi
"
Me:"
butwhatIcan'
tpromiseisthemoodswi
ngs
i
ssue.
..CozIdon'
treal
lyknowthecause"
Him:"Ido.
..
butwe'
lltakei
tasi
tcomes.Nowona
seri
ousnote,wher
e'sOwe"?
Me:
"ohhe'
sgonet
oschool
alr
eady
"
Hi
m:"
hai
bo,
whyni
ngandi
vusanga"
?
Me:
"wel
l
..
."
Hi
m:"
okayi
tsf
ine.Thanky
ou"
Me:
"l
et'
seat
"

Weat
e,Ionl
yat
eaLi
lcozIwasn'
treal
l
yhungr
y.
[
10/
9,19:
00]‪+27730692704‬:
#131
Whenwewer edoneItookthepl at
esdownand
washedt hem Ihadbr eakfastdatewithLwandi so,
that'
spartoft hereasonwhyIcoul dn'treal
lyeat
muchwi thbae.Icl eanedthekitchen,
fakalapapa
yakhekwi fridgeandwentbackupst air
s,hewasstil
l
i
nbedandt hat'
ssounl i
kehim soexcusemef or
feeli
ngabi tsadwhenIsawhi m.Igoti nbedbut
didn'
trest,
Isatupl ookingathim,helookedupand
smi l
ed

Me:
"youokay
"?
Hi
m:"
yeah"
Me:"
I'
m seri
ous,
areyouokay?I
fit
smesayi t
,IknowI
hav
en'tbeenthei
dealgi
rl
fri
endokondf
iki
l
e"
Hi
m:"
I'
m okaybabe"
Me:
"kay
"

Iatt
empt edtogetupandlethi
m be,
hegr
abbedmy
arm ndabuyel
akwi sameposit
ion
Me:
"mh"
?
Hi
m:"
sondel
a"

Ibowedandourl ipsmet ,forasecondwebr eathed

thesameai rwi thoutanysor tofmov ement .The
connect i
onwasdi vine,thenweki ssedso
passi onat el
y ,weki ssedsosl owandseduct i
veand
somehowt hepacei ncr easedandt hepositions
changed.Iwasnowunder neathhi m,hekissedme
from t hef oreheaddownt omyst omachWakhe
wahl alaphaki ssingal l aroundi tthenhecameback
upandki ssedmeal lov eragai n.Ifeltspecial,
li
kethe
fi
rstt i
meIdi dwhenhet ookawaymyv ir
ginity,
Ifelt
l
ov edandneededandcont entcozIhadal lhis
attentiononme.Not hingmakesmehappi erthan
that,knowi ngt hathei shearwi thme, mind,bodyand
soul.Fr om t heki ssest omaki ngl ove..
.Likewe
l
ust edov ereachot hersomucht hatonegowasn' t
enoughwehadt ogot hr eemor et i
mesandi twas
i
nt ense, mor ei ntenset hanany thingI'vehad
encount eredt hesepastf ewday s.Whenwewer e
doneher estedonmybossom, Iplayedwi thhisears
f
ull
yknowi
nghewi
l
ldr
if
tof
ftosl
eep

Me:
"Il
ovey
ou"
Hi
m:"
Ilov
eyouev
enmor
e"
Me:"
evenifndi
yakuphoxaatsomepoi
nt,
j
ustal
way
s
knowthatIl
oveyou,nooneelse"

Iki
ssedhisheadandclosedmyey esjustforafew
minut
es,Ir
eal
lywantedtomeetSosososl eepi
ng
wasn'
tgonnagivemet hat
.PasteightIwoke
up,
shookhim soft
lyandheshi
ftedandt henIwent
tobathndal
ungisandagqi
baandwokehi m up

Hi
m:"
mh"
Me:
"I
'm goi
ngout
"
Hi
m:"
oh"

Hesatup.
..Lookedmeupt
hendowngqi
ba
wancuma

Hi
m:"
Tit
us"
?
Me:"
yeah,
wedeci
dedt
odobr
eakf
asti
nst
eadof
l
unch"
Hi
m:"
canIdr
ivey
ou"
Me:
"pl
s"
Hi
m:"
fi
vemi
nut
es"
Me:
"sho"

Hegotupandwenttoshower,
Imadet hebedandI
openedthewi
ndowsmakingsureKufreshkul
e
room :
vhecamebackandgotdressedthenwe
walkeddown

Me:
"youknowy
oucoul
daskI
vort
odr
iveme"
Hi
m:"
Iwannadr
ivey
oumy
sel
f"
Me:
"Isenseukukhwel
etasomewher
e"
Him:"
Ihaveev
eryr
ight
..
.wor
seunxi
beIcr
opt
ophay
angekhe"
Me:
"heheeee!Soukhwel
eti
sway
il
ecr
oppedt
op?
Ndi
ytshi
ntshe"
?
Hi
m:"
won'
tmakeanydi
ff
erence.
..
masambef
uthi
"

Il
aughedathi m aswegoti ntohi
scar,
hisper
sonal
carthenhedr ov
emet oV&AIcal l
edSosowhileI
wasst i
ll
inthecarewat hi
akakafi
kiImustgiv
ehim
abouttenmi nut
esny hanikeItol
dbaehewas
pleased,
lol
whyt hough?

Me:
"l
ike,
whyi
konwabi
sal
ent
o"
Him:
"Igett
oukubukandanel
e,
nott
hatndi
yanel
a
phof
"
Me:
"heee!Awsi
thangawena"
Him:"
andi
fi
kikuwe,
hehbabelomtanaangakl
i
nge
abenepneumonianj
engbaungazi
thandi
ii
mpahl
a"
Me:
"ohpuhl
eez,
i
tsnotev
enababyy
et"
Hi
m:"
sut
hii
t,
nguhi
m"
Me:
"hi
m myf
oot
,i
zobanguherl
ona"
Him:"
babyman,
ndi
zoy
thi
nieny
eint
ombi
ekhonau
Thando"
?
Me:"don'tgetmewrongokay,
il
oveSinoandshe
knowst hatbutngowakhonoAneli
sababe,
I'
ve
alwayswant edababygi
rlf
ormysel
f,dot
oherallt
he
thi
ngsIdesi r
edgrowi
ngup"
Hi
m:"
mmmkay
..
.But
,Ist
il
lsayi
tsahi
m"
Me:
"l
et'
sagr
eet
odi
sagr
eeke"
Hi
m:"
yesma'
am"
Me:
"Imeantt
oasky
ou,
whatdoesy
ourdayl
ookl
i
ke"
?
Him:
"I
'l
lbebusyall
dayr
ightaft
erI
'
vet
akeny
ou
homefrom t
hisdat
eofyours"
Me:"
tr
ue,
yey
am.
..
wenauzobeusenzani
whi
l
eI'
m
enj
oyi
ngmydat
e"?
Hi
m:"
I'
ll
justpopi
natsomeofmyf
ranchi
sest
opass
t
ime"
Me:
"t
hatmeansuzondi
l
inda"
?
Hi
m:"
insi
mpl
eyes"
Me:
"wow,
okay
"

Ansmscamet
hrough.
..

Me:
"wel
l
,Igot
tar
un"
Hi
m:"
thankGodIwasbegi
nni
ngt
othi
nky
ou'
vebeen
st
oodup"
Me:
"ouch.
..Butt
henagai
n,
Sosowoul
dnev
erdot
hat
t
ome"
Hi
m:"
oh-
hoo,
byeby
ebaby
"
Me:"
comegivemear easont
omi
ssandt
hinkofy
ou
t
hroughoutt
hisdat
e"

Hesmi led,
weki ssed.Yhol
omfanahaswhatIcall
l
ov eforreal
..
.youknoweachdayt hatpassesIpr
aya
sil
entprayerthatGodmusthelpmemai ntai
nthi
s
rel
ati
onshipI'
v estart
edwithhi
m cozat
ti
mes,growingupwi t
houtafat
hermakesust onot
knowhowt orespectandr i
ghtful
lyhonourthemen
thatcomeintoourli
ves,
but,ontheotherhandit
makesushungerf oratt
entionfrom t
hem.Luckyf or
me,MrSmi t
hwast heretopickupt hepiecesal
ong
withhiswif
ewhenIr eachedast agewher eIr
eal
ized
thatIhavenoonetocallapar entanymore.

Ileftthecarandwal kedt ol endawoat heuSoso

sizotyakuy o,wehuggedandor deredourbr eakfast
haikef rom thetimewesatdown, y aqalaincokol olI
mi ssedhisdr amamor ethanany thingmost
i
mpor tant
lyImi ssedt hisfreshai rt hathenat ural
ly
possesses, thisgreatli
ghtt hathebr i
ngswhenI main
thedar kcor nerhe'l
ljustpopt hebl ackbal l
oon
ndibonesomesi l
verspr i
nklesev eni nabadsi t
uati
on.
[
10/
9,19:
00]‪+27730692704‬:
#132

Hi
m:"
shl
obosam,
uqubhakubi
siuy
ayi
va"
?
Me:
"heeehaySosoy
int
onngok"
?
Hi
m:"
ikhomkhom Lenay
eyot
hini
"
Me:
"haykhandy
eke"
Hi
m:"
uphi
umnt
uwakhokengok'
'
?
Me:"he'
saround,
Idon'
treal
l
yknowwher
e
specif
ical
l
y"
Hi
m:"
he'
str
eat
ingy
ouwel
l
,ndi
bonaaphakuwe"
Me:"
wel
li
sanunder
stat
ement
,myf
ri
end.Thatguy
?
Yho"
Him:"
evenxauthethangay
eyouhav
ethi
sgl
ow,
i
n
yourf
acemyf r
iend"
Me:
"he'
sreal
l
ygood,
hemakesmesmi
l
ethr
oughmy
t
ear
s"
Him:
"we'
llhe'
sforkeeps.Heeeandoqhel
wangu
Asav
ela"
?

Looool hai
kendavel
andatyhafa..Sancokol
a
sancokolakefrom t
entopastel even,
onspentone
hourwithjustacoupleofminuteswi t
hthedudebut
i
tfeltl
iketenweeksandacoupl eofday s:v
Hi
m:"
izansi
kukhaphebabe"
Me:
'
'noy
out
agal
ong,
he'
snotar
ri
vedy
et"
Hi
m:"
okaykeIgot
tar
un.
..
hav
eani
ceandsaf
etr
ip"

Wehuggedf oralongti
me,
thenwalkedoursepar
ate
ways.Ical
ledbaeevenbef
oreIsetfooti
nthat
par
kinglotcozndamazngenzekaakekhokwaphaya

Hi
m:"
hel
l
o"
Me:
"eshe"
Hi
m:"
hey
,readyt
ogo"
?
Me:
"yeah,
uphi
"
Hi
m:"
klandawoubundi
shi
yekuy
o"
Me:
"okayndi
yezake"
Hi
m:"
sur
e"

Ihungupandwalkedout
,yesIsawthecarbutwhen
Inear
edit
,Ir
eal
i
zedhe'snotinsi
de-
(Itr
iedthedoor
s
zavul
eka:oIgotinside.Ubabyunj ani?Kodwa?
Ushiy
eimot oyodwawi thoutanysuper vi
sion,
unl
ocked?Inadamnedpar ki
nglot?Hayy axokal
o
he'
slooki
ngf ortr
ouble,uyabamemaabat sotsi
ngokwakhest r
ubob.Isati nsi
dethereandl ayahad
onmyf ul
ltummy ,l
olforonceIsmi led..
.Thisis
gonnaonehel l
uvalongj our
neythough.Isnapped
whenheopenedt heot herdoor,
hisdoorandwal ked
i
n

Hi
m:"mmmh,
someonei
ssmi
l
ingov
erhergr
eat
est
f
ear"
Il
ookedatmyhandsandl
aughed,
okaysur
e..
.So
what?

Me:
"masambewet
hu"
Hi
m:"
awbawel
inophaubabywakhoaLi
lki
ss"
?
Me:
"no"
Hi
m:"
usur
e?Imean.
..
li
ker
eal
l
ysur
e"?
Me:
"yes"
Hi
m:"
mh,
masambe"

Hedr ovetohi
shouse.Whenwer eachedthe
house,wegotoutIwaswal kingefront
,hethrewme
thekeysndavulaandthrewmy sel
font hecouch
remov i
ngmyshoes.Hef ol
l
owedinandsatwher e
mylegswer e,
putti
ngthem onhislaps.
..massagi
ng
myf eetandankles.

Him:
"youknow,Iwasnev
ert
her
eforChumawhen
shewaspregnantwit
hOwe"
Me:
"oh"
Him:
"shewasj ustli
key ou,
pigheadedandself
opi
nionated.Fi
ghti
ngev eryt
hingandev er
ymov eI
make..
.butwithherIwasst i
llsuperhandsonwithal
l
mybusinessessowhenev erhermoodsst ar
ted,
I'
d
j
ustupandl eavendiyobuyaaf t
erthr
eeweeksora
month"
Me:
"yhu!Thatl
ong"
?
Hi
m:"
yeah,
thenkesohl
ukana.
..
whatI
'
mtr
ynasayi
s
t
hatIwannabehandsonkul
enaIpr
egnancy
"
Me:
"KuAnel
i
sa?Whathappened"
?
Him:"
shewasal
wayst
rav
eli
ng,Iwasalwaysbusy.
Butkekuy
oyonkel
ont
oItrymakingupforthel
ost
ti
mes"
Me:
"Icanseet
hat
"
Hi
m:"
Ilov
emyki
ds,
ver
ymuch"
Me:
"Idon'
tdoubtt
hat
"
Him:"y
oudon't?Thengi vemeachancewi t
hhim,
as
hegrowsi twon'
tbeeasyf oryouIknow.Youhav
eto
expectalotofphysicalchanges,
maybe
ungazit
handi.
..
you'
llgothroughsomeabsurd
cravi
ngsbutaoft hatindi
catehisgr
owth"
Me:"well
,
ifwecanbeci
vi
lthr
oughoutt
hispr
egnancy
I
'm sureI'
l
lgi
veyouahappybabygi
rl
"

Hesmiled.
..
Iknow,
ufunainkwenkweIwantagir
l.
SobonakeuSomandl auzophendul
abanikuy
o
yonkel
onto.
Hi
m:"
soy
oupl
anni
ngt
orestunt
ily
ourf
li
ght
"?
Me:
"yes"
Hi
m:"
good.
..
Ihav
esomewher
etot
akey
ou"
Me:
"ar
gh,
thedoct
or?Ungxamel
eni
pho"
Hi
m:"
act
ual
l
yno,
butIcan'
ttel
lyou"
Me:
"oh"

Igotup,woremysneaker sagainandweleft
..
.He
tookmet oaspa:Dwebot hdidaful
l
,wi
th
faci
als,
saunaandall.Thenwewentf oramov i
eand
aLilshoppingny
anaandt henofcozsomeicecream
:/wellmnaIwant edami lkshakeandIgoti
t.

Wewentt
ochi
l
latapar
k,wi
tht
hepi
cni
cst
uff:
o

Me:
"It
houghty
ousai
dyou'
l
lbebusyi
mini
yonke"
Hi
m:"
Iam"
Me:
"heee,
wor
seIwant
edt
ospoi
lyou"
Him:"
Ibeatyoutoi
t ,
ther
e'l
lal
waysbeanext
ti
me..
.other
wisei
njanikeiminiy
akhoy
okugqi
bel
a
eKapa"?
Me:
"gr
eatact
ual
l
y"

Imov edandsatonhi m,kissi

nghim soft
lyandlight
ly
untilweblendedintothispower f
ulsource.ThenI
heardaf amil
iarvoi
ce,Istoppedandl ookedup: D
therewasOwer unningtowar dsusehamba
nomamakheIshoul dthink,si
nceI'v
enev err
eallymet
her.IsatnexttoNtando, hewasr el
axedandt hat
kindasurpri
sedme: /t houghthewoul d
panic..
.wafi
ka

Hi
m:"
mowl
eni
sisi
"
Me:
"hey
,howwasschool
"
Hi
m:"
good,
butwecameoutear
ly.Dad,
wal
alawena"
Hi
m:"
I'
m sor
ryboy
,I
'l
lmakeupf
ori
t"
Chumacameup.
.

Her
:"
mol
weni
"
Us:
"eweke"
Her
:"
nguwel
osi
si?Umhl
eshame"
Nt
ando:
"shameuy
aphi
"?
Her
:"
ndi
yamsi
zel
a"
Nt
ando:
"mxm"

Hai
kewashwaqauChumamnt akadadkwade
kwadikwanoOwent andowat hihaysisi
siyahamba
nomama, l
olIdi
dn'tr
eall
ymi nd,
itski
ndanicetoknow
whereyouroppositi
onstands..
.cozakayi
yoI
competit
ionyam asfarasI'
m concerned.
[
10/
9,19:
01]‪+27730692704‬:
#133

Theyl
eftkesanandashi
yekandi
j
ongel
ousecal
en
kwam.
..
hisf
ace:
vIj
ustbur
sti
nlaught
er

Hi
m:"
nton"
?
Me:
"umenzanumnt
anawabant
u"
Hi
m:"
haymanChumahasst
upi
dtendenci
es"
Me:
"she'
syourbabymommamy
ekef
ondi
n"
Hi
m:"
whyumt
het
hel
ela"
Me:"
babyumntuakenzi
walonto.
..
I'
m nother
eto
di
vi
dey'al
l
.Zamaum' t
reat
erri
ghtman"
Hi
m:"It
reatherri
ghtnj
ebabeawmazi
uChuma
wena,
usezokugezel
authi
saa"
Me:"nana,
trygett
ingint
ohershoes.It
hinkshest
il
l
l
ovesy ou,
soitcan'tbeeasyseei
ngyouinl
ovewit
h
someoneelse"
Him:"andikuunderst
and'
Ikodwababecozi
tsnotl
ike
wenauf ikendi
senayeuChumasowhyshoul dshe
bejealousofy ou"
?
Me:
"your
eal
l
ydon'
tunder
stand"
Hi
m:"
masi
y'
yekel
encoko"
Me:
"si
y'
yeki
l
ecanwegohomenow"
Hi
m:"
yeah"

Wegotupandpacked, sagodukaf
ikakwakheand
packedmythingsint
omybag.ThenIwal ked
downstai
rst
ohi m

Hi
m:"
you'
rer
eal
l
yleav
ingme"
Me:
"masambesobabi
ni"
Hi
m:"
I'
mtempt
ed"
Me:
"masambemanndi
zobanesy
ali
ngeweekend"
Hi
m:"
whatt
imey
ouwr
it
ingngomso"
?
Me:
"f
rom ni
net
otwel
ve"
Hi
m:"
okay
,I
'l
lcomengomsoke"
Me:
"mmkay
,nowdr
ivemehomepl
s"
Hi
m:"
Ithi
nkIdeser
veaki
sskuqal
a"
Me:
"you'
l
lgety
ourki
sswheny
ou'
vet
akenmehome"
Hi
m:"
whati
fIwannacal
lIv
ort
otakey
ou"
Me:
"awsozeshame"
Hi
m:"
hai
bo"
Me:
"hayawsozebabe.Tchi
n,
hayi
banent
loni
"

Helaughedwaphakamaandt
ookmybagsangena
emotweni.

Hi
m:"
khawqhube"
Me:
"ny
hani
"?

Het hrewmeakeynday gangaandstartedthecar: D

hedoesn' tknowthefeelingofdri
vinghiscarkanti.I
tookt helongr out
etakingmehome. .
.t
headr enal
ine
rushingt hroughoutmyent ir
ebody.SafikaekhayaI
parked,turnedtohim andsmashedmyl iponhis.
..
Hechuckl edandkissedmeback, weki ssedonce
mor e.Unt ilwewerebothcont ent
.
Hi
m:"
okay
,thanky
ou"
Me:
"Il
ovey
ouman,
Ireal
l
ydo"
Him:
"Ilov
ey outoobabe,
especi
all
ymor
enowt
hat
you'
recarr
yingmyboy"
Me:
"baby
,thi
sisagi
rl
"
Hi
m:"
okaykemnt
wam"

Iki
ssedhim onceagain,
thenwegotoutandwal
ked
outtowar
dst hehouse.

Evehadpackedal
ready,
wewalkedi
n,
greetedthen
ndabashi
yaandwenttopackall
myclothesthenI
walkeddownfi
kakumnandikuhl
ekwa

Me:
"akusemandi
"
Ev
e:"
hey
..
.soIheary
ouwantagi
rl
"
Il
ookedatbae:
/real
l
y?
Ev
e:"
don'
tyoudar
elookathi
m"
Li
z:
"you'
l
lmakeagr
eatmom t
hough"

Iwasn'tr
eal
l
ycomf ortabl
ewit
hthi
sconversat
ion,
excuseme.Isatdownnexttohim andl
eanedmy
headonhisshouldernotwant
ingt
oanswerany thi
ng

Hi
m:"
youseemybabyi
supsetnow"
Ev
e:"
arghpuh-
leez
,she'
str
ynagety
ourat
tent
ion"
Li
z:
"atl
easty
ou'r
eherecozi
fshestart
snow,
they
'l
l
l
eavefort
heair
porti
nthi
ssamestate"
Me:
"I
'm st
il
lher
eyouknow"
?
Liz:
"i
tstr
ue,
you?I
tsl
ikey
oust
udi
edhowt
ogi
veone
thesil
enttr
eat
ment"
Hi
m:"
Icant
est
if
yont
hat
"

Inudgedhi
sri
bcagewahleka.
..
howdoeshesuppor
t
them?Tchi
nakanant
loni
ubabe.
Ev
e:"
weshoul
dgetgoi
ng"
Him:
"yeaht
hepi
l
othasbeenwai
ti
ngf
orsomet
ime
now"
Me:
"andy
oudi
dn'
tment
iont
hat
"
Hi
m:"
uh-
uh,
don'
tgot
her
e"

:
v:v
Okay
.

Hehel pedmewithmybag,Evet
ookher ssangena
emot weni:
DIdroveustotheai
rpor
t,weboardedthe
j
et..
.Ihuggedbaefordearl
if
eri
ghtatthestair
sof
thejet.

Me:
"masambeman"
Him:
"Ihav
esomewher
etogot
ori
ghtnow,
I
'l
lcome
ngomsoIpromi
se"
Me:
"asi
nri
ghtnow?Now"
?

Hekissedme,Imelted.Thenheki ssedmyf orehead

okaykethat'
sagohomef orme,akazoji
kakulento
ayt
hethayo.ThenIwal kedin,
thedoorclosedandt he
j
ettookoff.Iwastir
edy az,
sowedi dn'treal
l
ymake
anyconversat
ionthroughoutthejourneyhome.
Whenwel andedIcal l
edLukewhi l
eEv ewentt oThe
bathr
oom

Hi
m:"
Lil
one"
Me:
"wemi
ghtneedal
i
ft"
Hi
m:"
you'
vel
andedal
ready
"
Me:
'
'yes.
..
wher
e'sMar
c"
Him:"he'
sasl
eep.
..
don'
twor
ry,
not
hingi
ndi
cat
est
he
i
ncidentandpl
easekeepi
tbet
weenusasmuchas
youcan"
Me:
"okay
"
Hi
m:"
I'
ll
bet
her
ein15mi
nut
es"
Me:
"t
hanks"

Evecame,Isuggest
edwegr abasnackwhi
l
ewai
ti
ng
forLuu.Weorderedandsatwai
ti
ng

Me:
"Ineedaf
avor
"
Her
:"
Iwon'
ttel
lany
onet
haty
ou'
repr
egnant
"
Me:
"notev
enLwando"
Her
:"
uh?Why
"?
Me:"hi
scousi
ns.
..Idi
dn'
ttel
lSosot
hatI
'
m
expect
ing"
Her:
"ohokay
..
.buthe'
dnev
erdot
hati
fIswearhi
mto
secr
ecy"
Me:
"t
hanks"
Her
:"
whenar
eyoupl
anni
ngont
ell
i
ngany
one"
?
Me:
"Idon'
tknow?May
bewhent
hebumpshows"
Her
:"
that
'l
lbei
nfi
vemont
hsf
rom now"
Me:
"t
hat
'senought
imet
ogetusedt
othei
dea"
Her:
"soyouhaven'taccept
edt
hatyou'
repr
egnant
?I
mean,t
hat'swhathappenswhenyouhave
unpr
otectedsex"
Me:
"Iknow"
Her:
"youknow,It
houghtyouweret
hebet
terone,
the
cr
ownandpr ideofthi
sfamil
y"
Me:
"pl
easeEv
e,notnow"
Her
:"
li
ke-
"
Me:"
don'
tsayit
,If
eel
badenought
hinki
ngoft
he
di
sappoi
ntmentonmom anddad"
Her
:"andMar
cus"
Me:
"he'
l
lunder
stand,
unl
i
kedad"
Her:
"t
rue.
..
wishIcoul
dtakethi
sfr
om you.Butat
l
eastyou'l
lbepushi
ngyourbumpiny
oursecond
year
,unli
keme"
Me:"
wishIdi
dn'
thav
et o,
butIcan'
ttur
nbacknow.
..
I
hav
et of
acethemusic"

Real
i
tysunki
n..
.l
olbuti
nther
eal
ther
eisnot
urni
ng
back.
[
10/
9,19:
01]‪+27730692704‬:
#134

Lukecametofet
chus,t
ookushomeandwewentto
ourroomswi
thoutev
enaskingf
orMar
c.AsIwas
fr
esheni
ngupEvewalkedi
n

Me:
"sup"
?
Her
:"
baej
ustcal
l
ed,
Ithi
nkI
'
m sl
eepi
ngov
er"
Me:
"mmhkay
,whenwi
l
lyoubeback"
Her:
"Idon'
tknow..
.t
her
e'sapossi
bil
i
tyofhi
sparent
s
vi
sit
ing.Hewantsmetohelphim cl
eanhi
sflat
"
Me:
"kay
"
Her
:"
shar
p"
Me:
"sho"

Shelef
t.
..Wel
lndizokwenzani
kulendluingaka?
Marcuswasn'
treall
ymycuppat earightnowsoI
keptmyselfi
nmyroom.Itext
edmybae*canI
dist
urbyou*her
espondedbycal
l
ing

Me:
"I
'm sor
ryi
fI'
m di
stur
bingy
ou"
Him:
"hey
,subanj
alomanIwoul
d'
vet
oldy
oui
fbendi
busy
"
Me:
"yhof
ondi
nImi
ssy
ou"
Hi
m:"
ithasn'
tbeenupt
otwohour
sev
en"
Me:
"Iknow,
ndi
thi
nike"
Hi
m:"
hav
eyout
ri
edi
gnor
ingt
hef
eel
i
ng"
Me:
"mxm v
ha"

Helaughed.
..Isul
ked.Kumnandi
uthandwany
hani
shame

Him:"
omny umntuwoul
dsay' babysuthi
mxm kum'
heeekudalakwagezwaser
ious":vIl
aughed.
…he
wasimitat
ingmyownv oi
cenow
Me:
"ohcummon,
that
'ssol
ow"
Hi
m: "
IwishIcoul
donlyseeyouwhenmybabyhe
gr
ownabi t.
..
Idon'
twannabeony ourwayespeci
all
y
wi
ththeuncertai
ntyofmoods,
cravi
ngsandmorning
si
cknesses"
Me:
"Iwi
shzi
bekuwey
azezi
mor
ningsi
cknesses"
Hi
m:"
haysungcol
a"
Me:"
I'
m bei
ngser
ious,
wishzi
bekuwey
ou'
l
lknow
howIfeel
"
Him:
"i
tspar
tofgrowi
ng.
..Imeantt
oasky
ou
somethi
ngt
hough"
Me:
"what
"?
Hi
m:"thebumpmi ghtnotshowunti
lfourtofi
ve
monthsr i
ght?MeaningifDecemberi
sy ourfi
rst
montht ocount.
..
andApr i
lcoul
dbeyourfif
th
month,haven'
tyouconsideredmyoff
erofgetting
marr
ied"?
Me:
"uhm.
..Mar
ri
edat19"
?
Hi
m:"
at20"
Me:"Icoul
dy ouknow,
consi
deri
t,
butt
hisi
snota
goodtime.
..
familywi
se"
Hi
m:"
meani
ng"
Me:"
myfami l
yisgoi
ngt hr
ougharoughpatchbut
you'
l
lnevernoti
ce.
..
Ithi
nkweshouldwaitabit
.Unti
l
maybekucaceical
a"
Hi
m:"
ohkay
..
.i
sther
eany
thi
ngIcoul
dhel
pwi
th"
?
Me:
"act
ual
l
yIdon'
tknow"
Hi
m:"
justshoutI
'
lldoi
t"
Me:"I
'
dratherwaitformybr
othersyouknow,some
thi
ngsthataregoingonhav
en'tevenreachedthei
r
ears"
Hi
m: "
butt
hey
'ver
eachedy
our
s..
.Ibeti
tswi
tht
he
f
olks"
Me:
"somet
hingl
i
ket
hat
"
Him:"
okayke,
butj
ustknowI
'
m her
e.For
you,
anyt
ime"
Me:
"Iknow"
Hi
m:"
didIt
ell
youIl
ovey
ou?Today
"?
Me:"
naaahyoudi
dn'
t.Kal
okbumandel
wey
idr
ama
yeexyakho"
Hi
m:"
oohmxm"
Me:
"hahahaawsaact
inj
e"
Hi
m:"
fi
lmy
amagwej
aneh"

Il
aughed:
v

Me:
"babyhay
i"
Hi
m:"
okay
..
.ButIl
ovey
ouny
hani
"
Me:
"younev
ert
oldmet
hat
"
Hi
m:"
I'
ll
tel
lyouev
ery
day
"
Me:
"ev
eni
fsi
xabene"
?
Hi
m:"
eveni
fsi
xabenemnt
wam"
Me:"
Ilov
eyoumor
e..
.but
,Imustr
estnow.Cal
lyou
l
ater
"
Hi
m:"
ungaci
nezel
iumnt
anam"
Me:
"don'
twor
ry,
ndi
zol
alangecal
alov
e"
Hi
m:"
goodgi
rl
"
Me:
"l
ater
"
Hi
m:"
ayt
"

Wehungup.
..Ipl
uggedmyphoneont
hechar
ger
ndal
ala.

JustasIwasdozi
ngof
f,
myphoner
ang.
..Unknown.
..
Ij
ustknewnguChumanodoubt

Me:
"ewe"
Her
:"
wher
e'sy
ourmanner
s?Ut
hiewexausabel
a"
Me:
"whatdoy
ouwant
"?
Her
:"
howabouthowcanIhel
pyou"
Me:
"ChumaIai
n'
tgotf
ort
his,
okay
"?
Her:
"mychi
ldwant
stospendDecemberhol
i
day
s
wit
hhisfat
her
"
Me:
"so"
?
Her:
"Ineedtobesur
ehe'l
lbesafe,
IknowNtando'
s
l
if
eisdangerousbutIal
sodon'twannar
uinthei
r
r
elat
ionshi
pwithmyinsecur
it
ies"

Iwasy
awni
ngkukozel
amf
az!

Her:
"OweisfondofyouIcan'
trunawayfr
om t
hat
,so
couldyoupl
easekeepaneyeonhim whenhe'
swith
Ntando"
Me:"di
dy oumaybethinkoft
hefactt
hatIhavea
homet oo?Ihav
emyownf amil
y?Thatmylif
edoest
rev
olvearoundNtando"?
Her
:"
oksal
ayoy
ouwi
l
lspendsomet
imewi
thhi
m"
Me:"
Nont
ombi,
uOwewillbespendi
ngt
imekul
o
nt
andonotwi
thnt
ando"
Her
:"
oh"
Me:"
andnextt
ime,pl
scallNtandoneh.
..
andi
ngeni
ndawomnakwi r
elat
ionshi
pkay akheandhi
sson"
Her:
"awmuncu,
beingi
nar elat
ionshi
pwithhi
m
makesyoupartandparcelofhisrel
ati
onshi
pswi
th
hi
skids"
Me:"notunl
esshepermit
sme...Uli
bel
enakwawena
ubanomonawheny oursonshareswit
hyouthe
thi
ngsIdowi t
hhim?Cummonnow, gr
owsome
spi
newi l
lya"

Ihungupgqi bakwam ndaphol aKumedul la.Hai

ke
forrealIdon'tf
orcemy sel
fintot
heirchil
dren'
sli
vesI
j
ustgoal ongwi ththefl
owwhent hey'r
ewi t
hthei
r
fatherorwhent heyaskofmeont hephone,one
thi
ngIknowf rsureI'
ll
neverrepl
acetheirmothers
nobandi ngenzantoninah.
[
10/
9,19:
01]‪+27730692704‬:
#135

Iwokeupandwor emysl
ipper
sandwalked
downst
air
s,Ineededt
ospeaktoLukebutf
ir
stIwent
totheki
tchenandmademy sel
famixedfrui
t
smoothi
et henIwenttoknockontheguestroom,no
oneanswer edsoIpushedopenthedoorandwalked
i
n,Marcwasbusyonhi slapt
op

Me:
"hey
"

Hel
ookedup,
smil
i
ng.Thatwasaninv
itat
ionsoI
wal
kedi
nandsatbesi
deshim ont
hebed.

Hi
m:"
don'
tbesad,
I
'mf
ine"
Me:
"whydi
dn'
tyout
elusy
ougotshot
"?
Hi
m:"
Idi
dn'
twanty
out
owor
ry"
Me:
"but
..
."
Hi
m:"
andIdi
dn'
twanti
ttoaf
fecty
ourr
elat
ionshi
p"
Me:
"youknow,
Ibl
amedBeast
"
Him:"
Iknewyouwould.That
'
swhyIdi
dn'
ttel
l
you,
andaskedhi
m notto"
Me:
"sowhenar
eyour
etur
ningbackt
ocapeTown"
?
Hi
m:"
Tomor
rowmor
ning"
Me:"
ther
e'ssomethi
ngIwannatel
lyouthough,
but
yougott
apromisemey ou'
l
lkeepi
tbetweenus"
Hi
m:"
okay
"
Me:
"dadi
ssi
ck"
Hi
m:"
dad?Si
ckf
rom what
"?
Me:
"he'
sgotlungcancer
..
.i
thasspr
eadt
err
ibl
y
t
her
e'snot
hingwecando"
Hi
m:"
no,
no,
no.
..Mom woul
d'
vet
oldme"
Me:"
she'
spl
anni
ngt
otel
lust
hisDecemberhol
i
day
whenall
ofusar
ehome"
Hi
m:"
noman.Howdi
dyouf
indout
"?
Me:
"If
orcedi
toutofher
..
."
Hi
m:"
yho.
..
"

Wesati
nsi
l
ence.
Hecl
osedt
hel
apt
opandsatt
her
est
ari
ngi
ntobl
ank
space.

Hi
m:"
doesLuuknow"
?
Me:
"nooneel
seknows"
Hi
m:"
Ican'
tkeepi
tfr
om hi
m"
Me:
"youhav
eto,
j
ustunt
ilmom cal
l
sal
lofus"
Hi
m:"
no,
Ihav
etogohomebef
oreIgot
otheCape"
Me:
"pl
snow"
Hi
m:"butf
orhowlongman.
.whi
l
esi
ther
ehe'
sdy
ing
asl
owpainful
death"
Me:
"wai
tforher
..
.j
ustf
orawhi
l
e"
Hi
m:"
Idon'
tthi
nkIcan"
Me:"
okayhere'
swhatIt
hinkweshoul
ddo..
.Do
someresear
chonwhatspecial
i
stcanhel
phim"
Hi
m:"
oh-
kay
"
Me:"t
henwhenmom t
elus,
we'
llj
ustcal
linthe
speci
ali
stf
ort
hor
ougheval
uat
ionanddiagnosi
s"
Hi
m:"
okayt
hatsoundsl
i
keapl
an"
Me:"
she'
sonlywait
ingforustof
ini
shwit
hourf
inal
examsthenshe'
l
lcallafamil
ymeeti
ng"
Hi
m:"
Igot
tasay
..
.y
ou'
vegr
ownmor
e"

Ibl
ushed.

Hi
m:"
andcongr
atul
ati
ons"
Me:
"l
et'
snott
alkaboutt
hat
"
Hi
m:"
why
"?
Me:
"i
tsnotsomet
hingt
obepr
oudof
"
Hi
m:"
whatwi
l
lyout
ell
dad"
?
Me:"
Idon'
tthi
nktheyneedtoknowj ustyet.I'
m not
r
eadytofacethem aboutt
his,
l
et'
sjusttacklethis
i
ssueofdadnow,we'll
dealwit
hmyownwhent he
t
imingi
sright
"
Him:
"Iunder
stand.Buti
tseemsl
i
kehedoesmake
youhappy"
Me:
"yeah"
Him:"
I'
m nott
oojoyousofthi
srel
ati
onshipcozI
knowtheconsequencesyou'
l
lbefaci
ng,butIam
happywhenyou'r
ehappy"
Me:
"t
hanky
ou"

Wehugged.Imissedmybr
other.
..
hav
en'
tbeen
connect
ingwi
thanyoft
hem l
atel
y.

Il
efthi
m andwentbacktot helounge,Luucame
backandsatdownwi t
hme.Wepl annedashoppi ng
dayforFri
daywhichwasthefollowi
ngdayi ncludi
ng
EvenyhanikeandImustsayIwaspl easedthathe
di
dn'tmenti
onthi
sbabything..
.
Heleftmesay i
nghe'sgoi
ngt
obuysomet
hingf
or
supper.
..Ical
l
edVince

Hi
m:"
sisi
"?
Me:
"yhueshe,
unj
ani
"
Hi
m:"
I'
m gr
eat
,wena"
?
Me:"
I'
m good.
..
didy
oui
nfor
myourwi
feaboutt
his
weekend"
?
Hi
m:"
Idon'
thav
eawi
fe"
Me:
"youknowwhatImean"
Hi
m:"
Igav
eyouanansweral
readynj
e"
Me:
"okayke,
sohowdowedot
his?
"
Him:"
I'
ll
comeov
err
ightaf
termymor
ningshi
fton
Satur
day"
Me:
"enkosi
bra"
Hi
m:"
butIneedaf
avori
nret
urn"
Me:
"any
thi
ng"
Hi
m:"
cook"
Me:
"hahaokay
?Any
thi
ng,
ri
ght
"?
Hi
m:"
asl
ongasi
tsnotpast
aorbr
ead"
Me:
"okay
,deal
"
Hi
m:"
nicewor
kingwi
thy
ou.
..
"
Me:
"ay
t"
Ihungup. .
.ndikhumbulaubabywam kodwashame.
Itri
edandsubduedt hefeel
i
ngt houghitwashard
andpai nf
ul butkeIdidn'
twannabeanui sance.I
playedwithmyphoneandamf ounelatu..
.Ij
ust
receiv
edacal lf
rom anot
herunknownnumber

Me:
"hel
l
o"?
Hi
m:"i
fyouknowwhat
'
sgoodf
ory
ou,
stayaway
f
rom Beast
"
Me:
"who'
stal
ki
ng"
Hi
m:"
ory
ou'
l
lgety
ourowndesi
gnofaseed"

Thenhehungup. .
.Ikeptt
hinki
ng.
..
theseed?The
seed?Bam! !!Theseedi sabull
et,
meaningI'
llgetmy
ownnameengr avedinabullet
?Weeeeh.Icalled
bae..
.str
aighttov oi
cemail
.IranuptoMar cbar ged
i
ntohi sroom andhewasbusypaci ngaroundt hen
hestoppedandl ookedatme
Me:
"what
"?
Hi
m:"
erh.
..Not
hing.What
'
swi
tchu"
?
Me:
"er
h..
.Ij
ustgotacal
l
"

Iexpl
aineder
r'
thangt
ohi
m..
.

Hi
m:"okay
,l
eav
ethattomeandgost
udy
,you'
re
wr
it
ingatestt
omorrow.Ri
ght
"?
Me:
"yesbu-
"
Hi
m:"
I'
ll
handl
eit
"
Me:
"oh-
kay
"

Iwalkedbacktomyroom kengok..
.cal
l
edbaekwa
khonaha.angenastr
aightKusisVi
ctori
amntaka
dad.ItookMarc'
ssuggesti
onandtookoutmy
booksshift
edatt
ent
ionndafunda.
[
10/
9,19:
02]‪+27730692704‬:
#136
Itr
iedhey..
.It
ri
edsohar dtost
udyandIswearto
youifIhadn'
tbeeninclasswhent
hiswastaught
,I
wouldn'
thaveunderst
oodwhatIwasstudyi
ng.I
heardLuuknocking

Me:
"i
tsopen"
Hi
m:"
dinneri
sready
"
Me:
"I
'l
lbet
her
ejustnow"

Hecl
osedthedoor
,Icont
inuedf
oranhourt
henI
wal
keddown.

Mar
c:"
wher
e'sEv
e"
Me:
"shewentt
oLD'
spl
ace"
Luu:
"herf
ir
stni
ghthomeshesl
eepsout
"

Iwasn'
tgonnaanswerthi
s..
.t
heyknowEve,
whyact
sur
pri
sednow?Andt hey'
venevergi
venusany
gr
oundr
ules-
_-

Iat
eup,
myphonerang,
bae'
ssecondnumbersoIgot
upandwal
kedt
othekit
chen

Me:
"babe,
uphi
?Ur
ight
"?
Hi
m:"
I'
m okay
,what
'sup"
Me:
"It
ri
edcal
l
ingy
ouear
li
eron"
Him:
"yeahIwasbusywit
hsomet
hing,
i
sev
ery
thi
ng
okay
?Ar eyoushar
p?I
smybabyfi
ne"?
Me:
"ev
ery
thi
ngi
sfi
ne,
Iwasj
ustwor
ri
edokay
"
Hi
m:"
soev
ery
thi
ngi
sgood"
?
Me:
"baby
"?
Hi
m:"
babe"
Me:"
I'
mt heonl
ybabyint
heequat
ion
okwangoku.
..
soyes,
I
'mfi
ne"
Hi
m:"
that
'sar
eli
ef"
Me:
"I
'm gl
ady
oucal
l
edt
hough.
..
"
Hi
m:"
uh-
oh.
..
whathappened"
Me:
"f
ir
st,
hav
eyouspokent
omybr
other
"?
Him:"
yeah.
..
ohthatcal
lyour
ecei
ved.Don'
twor
ry
abouti
t,
he'
llsor
titout
"
Me:
"nj
enj
alo"
Him:
"i
tsbestt
hatyouf
ocusonyourbooksr
ight
now,
l
etusdealwit
hevery
thi
ngel
se"
Me:
"okay.
..Iwon'tar
guewi
ththat
.Questi
oni
s,how
t
hehelldi
dt heygetmynumberwhoevert
heyare"?
Hi
m:"t
heyhaveways.
..
look,
justdoyournor
mal
dai
l
y
r
outi
nes.I
'
llt
akecar
eoft herest"
Me:"babyam Isaf
eher
e?Wi
thy
ouacr
osst
he
country
"?
Him:
"you'
reevensaf
erawayf
rom mer
ightnow.
..
to
befr
ank,we'
reint
hemiddl
eofwar"
Me:
"Godno"
Him:"
don'
twor
ryaboutme,
j
ustf
eedmybabyandbe
safe"
Me:
"I
'l
ltr
y..
.but
..
..I
tshar
d"
Ist
art
edt
hatl
i
ttl
ecr
y,wher
emyv
oicej
ustcr
acked.
..

Him:"
babydon'
tcr
y,I
'
m assur
ingy
ou.Youar
e
safe.
okay
"
Me:
"kay
"
Hi
m:"
Iwannaheary
ousayt
hatwi
thconf
idence"
Me:
"okaybabe"
Hi
m:"
that
'si
t.
..
remember
,benor
mal
"
Me:
"yessi
r"
Hi
m:"
hav
eagoodni
ghtkebabe"
Me:
"Il
ovey
ouNt
ando"
Hi
m:"
Ilov
eyout
oobaby
"
Me:
"pl
sbesaf
e,f
ormysake"
Hi
m:"
alway
s"

Ihungup..
drankal
otofwaterandwalkedbackt
o
theki
tchenndagqi
bezel
aukutyakwam.
Luu:
"youokay
"?
Me:
"yep"
Hi
m:"
yousur
e"?
Me:
"yeahI
'
m okay
"

Weat einsi l
encesonkesagqi ba,Icoll
ectedt he
dishesandwashedt hem Mar cwentt ohi s
room. ..
Lukegotbusyonhi slapt opinthel ounge.
WhenIwasdoneIt ookmyphonesandwentt obed
ndaphi ndandar ev i
serumsebenzi wam weskol obut
Iwassur eI '
mr eadyf orthet estcozIhadst udied
bef or
e.WhenIwasdoneIgoti nbedandt ri
ed
sleeping...Ikeptonhear ingbaesay i
ngwe' r
einthe
mi ddleofwarnowmnandi ci
ngel amnaqhaeny e
neny eandi ngeni ndawokuy o.Myphoner ang
ndisacinga. .
.Unknownagai n:ohayt histimeI
rejectedt hecall.Ican' tbearhav i
ngthese
my steriouscallsokokal okndi zodendiphambane
nam ngoku.Iswi tchedmyphonesof fndalala..
.
Wokeupt hefol
lowingmor ni
ngwi ththosedamned
mor ni
ngsicknesses-_ -thenIpreparedforschool.I
wasn'tinanymoodt odr essupbutsi ncewewer e
goi
ngshoppi ngafterwar dsIhadt oatleastdressthe
partsoIt ookoutmycl othesandi r
onedt hem,iwore
boyfri
endjeans,
croppedt op,
anov ersi
zeddenim shir
t
andsi l
verstr
appyplatform heel
s.It ookmy
bags,phonesandwal letndahambaandwent
downst ai
rsLuuwast her e

Me:
"mor
ning"
Hi
m:"
mor
ning.
..
eatup,
I
'l
ldr
ivey
ou"
Me:
"why
"?
Hi
m:"
wecan'
tgoshoppi
ngont
wocar
s..
.i
tsawast
e"
Me:
"sur
e"

Iatechoppedfr
uitonoats,
thenhetookmet o
campus...
myphoneswer esti
llof
f.Icouldn'
taff
orda
dist
ract
ionbef
oremyt estorel
seI'l
lloosefocus.I
wrot
emytwohourpaper
,cameoutandswi
tched
t
hem ont
henIcal
l
edEv e

Her
:"
hey
"
Me:
"hey
,yourbr
otherIt
aki
ngusshoppi
ng"
Her
:"
yeahhecal
l
ed.
..
I'
m al
readywai
ti
ngf
ory
'al
li
n
t
own"
Me:
"okay
,I
'l
lj
ustcal
lhi
mtof
etchMEt
hen"
Her
:"
sweet
"

Ical
l
edLuu

Hi
m:"
Icanseey
ou"

Ilaughedandhungup,l
ookedaroundandsawhis
carcomingthrough,
Iwenttohi
m andwewentto
town.Mymessageboxwasf l
oodedIcheckedt
he
mosti mport
antmessagesandthybel
ongedtobae
t
henmi ssedcal
l
sfrom t
hepri
vat
enumber.Whenwe
r
eachedt hemal
lIwal
kedbehi
ndthem andcal
l
ed
Ntando

Hi
m:"
Nal
i
que"
Me:
"babe,
uri
ght
"
Hi
m:"
ndi
shar
p,I
'
mjustwor
ri
edngani
"
Me:
"I
'mf
inet
hanky
ou"
Hi
m:"I
'
llbet
hatsidethi
sev
eni
ng,
ther
e'ssomet
hing
weneedtodiscuss"
Me:"
oh.
..
thoughtyou'
dbet
hissi
debecausewe
agr
eedyou'l
lbehere"
Hi
m:"
ther
e'sanur
gentmat
terathand"
Me:
"oh-
kay
"
Hi
m:"
kut
henkungxol
wakl
endawoukuy
o"
Me:
"shoppi
ngmal
l
"
Hi
m:"
oh.
..
younev
erment
ioned.
"
Me:
"mybr
othert
ookust
othi
ssupposedChr
ist
mas
shoppi
ngbef
oreweheadhome"
Hi
m:"
that
'l
lgety
ourmi
ndof
fal
otoft
hings"
Me:
"yeahwel
l
"
Hi
m:"
Ilov
eyou,
okay
"
Me:
"Iknow"
Hi
m:"
byeby
eke"
Me:
"shar
p"

Wehung,Icaughtupwithmysibli
ngsandwet urned
t
hemallupsidedown: vwhenLuugetsgenerous,i
t
wi
ll
betoy ourbenefi
tifyouabusethegener
osity
whi
lei
tlasts.
..
.andguesswhat?Ntandodeposited
moneyi
nt omyaccount ,
Ishoul
dhaveknownt hough.
[
10/
9,19:
02]‪+27730692704‬:
#137

Aft
ertheshoppi
ngweheadedhome. ..
Ididn'teven
usebae'
smoney .Whenwer eachedhomeIt hrew
myshoesacrosstheroom andputmyf eetup
:'
(theyweresor
eattheheels.Evepour
edj uicein
gl
assesandser
vedus

Me:
"i
sMar
cgoneal
ready
"
Luu:
'
'yeah,
hehadt
orushear
lyi
nthemor
ning"
Ev
e:"
Idi
dn'
tev
enseehi
m"

Samjonga:vshe'ski
ddi
ng,
ri
ght
?Iclosedmyeyes.
..
I
wast i
redbutt
hinki
ngaboutmyli
fenjewast
ir
ing.
Vincecall
ed

Me:
"nt
wana"
Hi
m:"
arey
oubusy
"?
Me:
"no,
why
"
Hi
m:"Ineedahandatt
hespot
,I
'
m shor
tof
wai
tr
esses"

Isatup.
..
sur
pri
sedt
hathe'
dev
ent
hinkofme
Me:
"buty
ouknow,
I
'mi
nexper
ienced"
Hi
m:"
pleaseman,
I
'l
lbr
iefy
ouonourwayt
her
e"
Me:"
oohkay
..
.It
hinkIknowsomeonewhocando
bet
tert
hanIevercoul
d"
Hi
m:"
who"
?
Me:
"mysi
ster
"
Hi
m:"y
es!Yeah,
she'sgott
hechar
acter
.Pleasebe
r
eadyin15minutesI'
l
lbeonyourdoor
step"
Me:
"ay
t"

Wehungup:DIlookedatEv
e,she'
sonehel
l
uva
cur
iouswhi
techi
ck!

Her
:"
yoursi
ster
"?
Me:
"af
ri
endofmi
neneedshel
p"
Her
:"
wit
hwhat
"?
Me:
"he'
sshor
tofwai
tr
esses"
Her
:"
thatmustbet
hatVi
ncentguy
,when"
Me:
"i
n15mi
nut
es"
Her:
"Iwon'
tsaynot
oti
psandf
reemeat
..
.sowhat
shouldIwear
"?
Me:"
black..
.andcomf
ort
abl
eshoes.It
hinkwe'
l
lget
apr
onst her
e"
Luu:
"youguy
sar
eunbel
i
evabl
e"
Me:
"ncoooh,
thi
sISy
ourhouse,
youknow"
?

Lolwer acedupst ai
rsandchanged.Iwor eblack,
ri
ppedski nnyj eans,blackwedgedandspi ked
sneakersandbl ackv estthenIt ookabikerjacket
j
usti ncasekubande.It ookmyphonesonl y,l
eaving
bagsandwal l
etsbehi ndthenIwentdownst airsand
waitedforEv elyn,shecameoutwear ingthesame
j
eans, l
ongsl eevedT- shirtandsneaker saswel la
hootershotupf rom t hegate,
weki ssedLuuandl eft
himi nhisbighouse, gotinthecarandwentt ohel p
Vincentout.Jongawehadagr eatnight.
..Apparently
onFr i
dayst heShi saNy amacl osesat24: 00soby
22:00somet hingIhadacal lfrom baeIhadt ogot o
thebackroom sot hatt henoisecoul dbemi nimized
Me:
"l
ovewam"
Hi
m:"
you'
renotasl
eep"
Me:
"er
h..
.no,
what
'
sup"
Hi
m:"
why
"?
Me:
"Iwasbusy
..
.hel
pingaf
ri
endi
nneed"
Hi
m: "
onaFr
idayni
ght
?Di
dyouper
hapsgoout
?Had
dr
inks?
Me:
"i
fIhav
e"?
Hi
m:"
hm,
I
'mi
ntown"
Me:
"Ishoul
dknow,
youdi
dment
iony
ou'
l
lbei
n
t
own,remember
"?
Him:
"shoul
dIpi
ckyouupint
hemor
ningory
ou'
l
l
comearoundbyyour
sel
f"
?
Me:
"I
'l
lsee"
Hi
m:"
that
'snotananswerI
'
mlooki
ngf
or"
Me:
"ndi
zozangokwam"
Hi
m:"
sho"
Thenhehungupo. OunjaniuNtandonah?Iwent
backtoworkunti
lhomet i
me..
.Vincepai
dus,
Ididn'
t
takeminebutEv
edi d.

Me:
"nt
wana"
Hi
m:"
mh"
?
Me:
"pl
sdr
opmeof
faty
ourbr
other
s"
Hi
m:"
youhav
eakey
"
Me:
"no,
he'
sint
own"
Hi
m:"
ohkay
"
Ev
e:"
I'
m al
sonotgoi
ngst
rai
ghthome"
Him:"
ohoh..
.y'
al
lar
egonnagetmei
ntot
roubl
ewi
th
yourbrot
her
s"
Me:"wel
li
fIgohomenow,Iwon'
tgotoYOURbr
other
ksasaandthat
,wi
l
lgetmeini
ntroubl
e"

Hel
aughedashedr
ovemet
otheapar
tment
.Ical
l
ed
ev
enbef
oreIsetf
ootoutoft
hecar
..
..

Hi
m:"
mh"
Me:
"cel
aundv
ulel
e"
Hi
m:"
you'
reher
e?Ul
'
boni
l
eixeshaS'
bongi
l
e"?
Me:
"ur
h..
.y
eah"

Hehungup.
..
IlookedatVi
ncent
.

Hi
m:"
shoul
dIgowi
thy
ou"
?
Me:
"pl
ease"
Ev
e:"
I'
m al
socomi
ng":
v

Wewal kedtothedoorsi ncokolasonke,

Vince
knocked,
thedoorswungopenandt herehewas,i
n
boxersandvestloIstoleal ookonEv e:v:
v
akhomntanakulomnt anawakwaSmi thseri
ousl
y.
Wewal kedinwithoutsay i
ngawor d
Hi
m:"
niv
elaphi
"?
Vi
nce:
"goodev
eni
ngbr
o"
Hi
m:"
mxm,
ni
vel
aphi
thi
sti
me"
Vi
nce:
"wor
k"

Hel
ookedatmet
henatEv
e:vwabuy
elaKuVi
nce.

Vi
nce:
"Iwasshor
tst
aff
edsoIaskedt
hem t
ohel
p
meout"
Hi
m:"
siphi
staf
fsakho"
?
Vince:
"thetwosist
ersareonl
eav
e,i
tst
hey'
ref
ather
s
burial
thisweekend,Li
boandChl
oeareof
f"
Hi
m:"
sof
ourofy
ourst
affmember
sar
enott
her
e"
Vi
nce:"
two..
.becauset
heot
hert
wowasschedul
edt
o
beoffanyway"
Hi
m:"
sowena,
uqal
eni
niubay
iwai
tr
ess"
?
Idi
dn' tli
ket hetoneonebi t
,Ididn'tanswerhi m.Vince
andEv ewenthomendashi y ekanobaeequmbel e
i
ntobandi yoncedisaubr otherwakhe.Il efthi
me
l
oungeandwentt olookf orany thingtoeatatt he
ki
tchencozkhangendi tyeespan, thesmel lyapor
k: /
ki
ll
edal lappeti
te.Ifoundchi ckenschnitzelsI
war medt hem,andaddedt hesmal l
greenv egsal
ad
fr
om spart hatwasst il
li
ni tscont ainerthenmade
my selfrooibostea,walkedupst air
st othebedroom
nday otyelakhona.

Hecamet obedakat het ha,

Iwaswat chingcart
oons
whil
steatingsoIdi dn'treall
ymi ndt hesi l
ence.When
IwasdoneIputt hepl atesont heheadboar dstand
andwentt ot hebathroom, washedmyundi esfor
tomorrowmnt akabawot henIundr essedl eavingmy
vestonlysinceIdidn'tev enbri
ngany t
hinghere,Igot
i
nbedndabukel aITVandf unuzi qalelauNt ando
worseequmbi l
esongconondi my ekeunt il
athethe
ngokwakhe.Idr if
tedof ftosleepndi sabukelewor seI
wassleepingonmyback. .
.
Af teracoupl eofmi nut esndi l
el eIdr i
ft
edand
slippedi ntot hishor rifi
cni ght mar e...Iwasi nt he
mi ddl eofnowher e,
Icoul dher edad( MrSmi th)ina
farmf arf rom wher eI '
m standi ng,hewascal lingmy
nameasamat terofur gency ...thenmymot her s
name. .Andt henwhenhewasaboutt ocal lat hi
rd
name, hechokedandwentsi lent .Ihear d
guns, shout s,car s,si
rensandev erypossi blesound
from al lcor ners. .
.IsawMar cusl ooki ngconf usedat
hishandsasi ft heyhadbl oodont hem. ..Isaw
someoneel se,somemat uredguyIdi dn'trecogni ze
hol dingabul letinonehandandaci garont he
other ,hewasl aughi ng.Thenheshowedmet he
bul l
etwi thmynameoni t...Irant heopposi te
direct ioncr yi
ngf ormydearl ife,asf arasIwas
runni ngIsawawomanst andi ngi nsomesor tof
shadesoIcoul dn'tr eallymakeoutt hef aceandasi
swer v edf rom herdi r ecti
oni nf ear ,
shepushedme
downast eepycl i
f f
...
Ir oll
eddownf oraboutsi xtimes
thenl andedatt hebot tom st raightonmyst omach
thenIst ar tedbl eedi ng.Icr iedi nagony ,
asIr eal i
zed
thatI 'vel ostmybaby ..
.
Hi
m:"
baby
..
.S'
bongi
l
ecummonnow,
wakeup"

Hewasshaki ngmev igor

ouslyIjol
tedupsweat i
ng
wet.
..Andheldmyst omachwi t
hbot hhands.When
thi
sdream f
lashedbackIjustbrokedownandgot
outofthebed,Iwenttowashmyf aceandlookedin
themirr
or,
myr efl
ect
iondidn'
tpleaseme...
Iwasin
fear
.Realf
ear .
[
10/
9,19:
03]‪+27730692704‬:
#138

Ir
etur
nedbackt
obedandgoti
n

Hi
m:"
tal
ktome"

Iretoldhi
mt hedream andtheshockinhisface
fi
nishedmeof f.
..Idon'
treal
lybel
ievei
ndreamsneh?
Butwhensomet hingsarepartofreal
i
tyli
ke
now, ndi
vel
andoy i
ke.Isooobadlywantedtosleep
:
(butIwasaf
rai
d

Him:"
you'
reshaki
ngbabe,
i
twasj
ustadr
eam.
..
come
here"
Iwentclosertohi
m andl
aymyheadonhi sbroad
chestandclosedmyeye.
..Itr
iedver
yhardtosl
eep
buteveryti
meIclosemyey esIwoul
dreplayt
hat
cl
ifff
allandsnapbackup

Me:
"don'
tyouhav
eanypar
acet
amol
"?
Hi
m:"
lemmecheck"

Il
ift
edoffmyhead,hecheckedhisbagandf
ounda
couple,
hegotmewat erandgavemendasel
a..
.an
overdose:
/justsoIcanfal
lasl
eep.

WhenIwokeupitwasmor ni
ngandhewasn' tt
her
e
wi
thme,Idi
dn'
tpani
cthoughIjustwokuup,made
t
hebedandwenttobathandlookedthroughhi
s
wardrobewhatt owear .
..Wel lonlythi
ngIcoul dwear
washi svestorT- shi
rtsoIopt edf orthev est,
itf
it
l
ikeadr ess:)av eryshor tonet hatis:vthenIwent
downst ai
rsandmademy selfbreakfast.Cereal.
..
Thisniggahasnogr ocer i
esatal lsoIjusthadt oeat
whatwasav ai
lable.Imadecer eal andwalkedback
upstai
rsndaf i
kai khalaIphoney am, f
ounelwangu
Vince:)

Me:
"mml
ow"
Hi
m:"
hey
,ul
elekak'
hl
e"?
Me:
"yeahy
ou"
Hi
m:"
yeahwel
l
...
akaqumbangal
omf
o"?
Me:
"Idon'
tknow.
..
hewasn'
ther
ewhenIwokeup"
Him:"
yho.
..
whenIar
ri
vedj
ustnow,
Ihear
dhewas
here"
Me:
"yho"
Hi
m:"
I'
m sor
ryi
fIgoty
oui
ntr
oubl
e"
Me:
"nodon'
tapol
ogi
ze,
youdi
dn'
tdoany
thi
ng
wr
ong"
Hi
m:"Iki
ndathi
nkhedidn'
tl
ikei
t.
..
you'
rehi
s
gi
rl
fr
iend,
itshi
sbusi
ness"
Me:"
you'
rehisbr other,
you'
ret
he
manager.
..
look,wheni tcomestol
eissuey
am noEv
e
don'
tstr
essy ourselfabouti
t"
Hi
m:"
yousur
e"?
Me:
"100%"
Hi
m:"
okay
..
.hav
eani
ceday
"
Me:
"t
hanks.
.y
out
oo"

Wehungup. ..
Ifi
nishedeatingmybr eakf
astandjust
satthere..
.t
hinki
ng.Thet houghtofl
oosingthisli
tt
le
thi
nginsideofmet err
if
iedmet hemostev enthough
Ihadn'treal
lyconnectedwi thi
tmuch, maybeIwas
afr
aidofconnect i
ngwi thitandthenlooseit
?Idon't
know.Isatt herecuddli
ngmykneesupt omychest..
.
Whatwasdadsay ing?Whydi dhestop?Whatt he
hel
lisgoi ngon?
Hi
m:"
youl
ooksocut
eint
hat
"

Ilookedupandsmi l
edaf r
ail
smi lethati
s,
Idi
dn'
t
evenhearhim comein.Hewal kedandsatnextt
o
me,hekissedmycheek:'(hi
scol ognemygaaaawd!
!!
Ithadthi
sabil
ityofmaki
ngmeweekonmyknees.

Hi
m:"
Iboughty
ousomet
hingt
oeat
,andi
tsnotpor
k"
Me:
"I
'v
eeat
enal
ready
..
.butt
hanks"
Hi
m:"
Idon'
tl
ikey
oursound"
Me:
"Ij
ustneedar
est
"
Hi
m:"
it
sthatni
ght
mar
eisn'
ti
t"
?

Ismi
l
ed.
..
Ican'
tfor
getabouti
t.

Hi
m:"
babynow"
Me:"Ican'tshakei
toffokay,Ij
ustcan't
.Therear
e
t
hingst hatIsawinthatdream thatIcan'
tshakeof
f"
Hi
m:"
itwasj
ustadr
eam"
Me:"
itwasj
ustadr
eam?Thebul
l
et?Wast
hatal
so
j
ustadream"?
Hi
m:"
that
'sdi
ff
erent
,i
tsal
lupi
nyourhead"

Ikeptqui
et.
..Andl
ookedahead,
i
fheai
n'
tbel
i
evi
ng
met henwhyshoul
dIbother
?

Hi
m:"
awzot
yakengok"
?
Me:
"ndi
shar
p"
Hi
m:"ohkay
..
.awnantozonxi
baaphasoIcal
led
Li
bhongouzoyokut
hengel
awhatevery
ouneed"
Me:
"Li
bhongo?HayIcangetmyownt
hings"
Hi
m:"
baby
"
Me:
"ha.
ababe"
Hi
m:"okay.
..
notev
enIj
eaney
1?PJ?Ponds?
Not
hing?"
Me:
"okayf
ine,
makand'
thengel
eushor
t'
ionav
yat
Fashi
onexpr
essqha"
Hi
m:"
okay
"

Hecall
edher ,
tol
dhi
mthesizeIheardhi
mtal
ki
ng
aboutsl
ipperso.
Obutandamhoya.Whenhewas
doneIcrawleduptohi
m ndaqamelakuy
e.

Hi
m:"
you'
ret
oost
ubbor
nyouknowt
hat
"
Me:
"khawt
hul
e"
Hi
m:"
heh"

Wathul
a..
.Il
i
stenedtohi
sheartbeat:
)twazl
i
kea
Zul
udrum playi
ngatafardi
stance.
[
10/
9,19:
03]‪+27730692704‬:
#139

Ir
ememberedthathehadsomethi
ngtosay
...
I
mean,
theappar
entreal
reasonwhyhei
shere.
..
Me:
"so,
youwant
edt
otel
lmesomet
hing"
?
Hi
m:"
oht
hatcanwai
t"
Me:
"I
'm sur
e,butIcan'
t"
Him:
"well
..
.I
'
m goi
ngoutoft
hecount
ryf
oracoupl
e
ofweeks"
Me:
"yho"
Hi
m:"
it
sbusi
ness"
Me:"
Ishoul
dknow.
..
sohowmanyweeksar
ewe
t
alki
ngabout"
?
Hi
m:"
appr
oxi
mat
elyt
hreet
ofour
"
Me:
"t
hatl
ong?Li
ket
hat
'
samont
h"
Him:
"dependi
ngonhowf
astIcanf
ini
shandseal
the
deal
"
Me:"
soyou'
ret
ell
i
ngmeuzohambauDecember
wonke?Wow"
Hi
m:"
I'
ll
trymybestt
obebackbef
oret
he31st"
Me:"
butyou'
l
lbespendi
ngChr
ist
masawayf
rom
home,y
ourki
ds"
Him:"
it
snot
hingnewt
othem,
atl
eastIknowt
hey
'r
e
safewit
hmom"
Me:
"mmh,
uhambani
niuOwe"
?
Hi
m:"
I'
mtaki
nghi
m byt
hismont
hend"
Me:
"kay
"
Him:"
hey,don'
tlooksodownkal ok.
.i
tsnotli
keyou'
l
l
belonel
yallthi
st i
me.You'l
lbewithyourfamil
yat
l
eastindawoy am ayi
zocacatoomuch"
Me:
"youdon'
tknowwhatyou'
ret
alki
ngaboutBUT
goahead,
Iwon'
tst
andiny
ourway "
Hi
m:"
yousur
e"?
Me:
"yes"
Hi
m:"
khandj
onge"

Il
i
ftedmyheadandl
ookedathi
m

Me:
"hm"
Hi
m:"
I'
m goi
ngt
her
etowor
k..
.doesn'
treal
l
ymat
ter
whetheri
slegi
tornotbutI
'
llbemakingmoneyf
or
us,
ourchi
ldandmostimportant
lyourf
utur
e"
Me:
"Iknow"
Hi
m:"
buty
oudoseem unsur
e"
Me:"
Ijust.
..Idon'
tneedmoneyt
obehappy
,I
'm happy
r
ighthere.Withyou"
Him:"moneybabeist
hestar
tofal
lgoodt
hingsin
l
ife,
thecar
sIdriv
e,myki
dsschool
..
.mom?Every
thing
comesatacost "
Me:
"oh-
kayke"
Hi
m:"
Ipr
omi
seI
'
llbebackandy
ou'
l
lbesaf
e"
Me:
"Iknow,
I
'l
lbewi
thmyf
ami
l
y"
Him:
"noI
'l
lsendaf
ewofmyguy
stokeepwat
chon
you,
j
ustt
obesure"
Me:
"awbabet
hat
'snotnecessar
y..
.Bazohl
alaphi
"?
Hi
m:"
ever
ythi
nghasbeenpl
anned"
Me:
"meani
ngIcan'
tchangey
ourmi
nd"
Hi
m:"
uhm,
notr
eal
l
y"
Me:"t
henther
e'snot
hingmor
ewecant
alk
about,
ndi
l
ambilefut
himna"
Hi
m:"
buty
ouj
ustsai
dyouat
ecer
eal
"
Me:
"t
hatwast
hennowi
snow"
Hi
m:"
yesma'
am"

Wegotupandwentt ot
hekitchen.Hewar meda
Nando'
swholechi
ckenwit
hmeal ies:
vndazigqibel
a
ni
ni?Thewhol
epackman,roll
sandGr eeksaladI
madecoff
eeandsatonahi ghstoolwatchi
nghim
spoi
lme

Hi
m:"
youshoul
dst
ickt
othatr
ooi
bost
eaofy
our
s"
Me:
"Ij
ustf
eel
li
kecof
fee"
Hi
m:"
thi
nkofmyson"
Me:
"ohy
oumeanmybabygi
rl
?It
sonl
ythi
sonce"
Hedi dn'
tanswerme,
putthefoodi
ntoabigtr
ayon
platesthenhecamearoundandwenttothel
ounge,
I
foll
owedwi t
hjui
ceandglasseswesatdownonone
couch,ateup.

Me:
"I
'm gonnami
ssy
ou"
Hi
m:"
sameher
e..
.butwe'
l
lcommuni
cat
e,dai
l
y"
Me:
"mh"
Hi
m:"
canIasky
ousomet
hing"
Me:
"shoot
"
Him:"
thist
hingy'al
ldi
dlastni
ght
,hel
pingVince
out.
..
didy'
al
l wantext
racashoryoujusthelpedhi
m
cozheaskedy ou"
Me:
"heneededext
rahands.
..
wewer
eav
ail
abl
e"
Hi
m:"
buty
ougotpai
d"
Me:"y
es...
butIcoul
dn'
ttakei
t.Ishouldntget
rewardedforHelpi
ngafri
end,
I'
llneedhishel
ptoo
someday "
Hi
m:"
okay
"
Me:
"l
ook,
i
tsnotaboutt
hemoney
..
.Ihav
eenoughof
t
hat
"
Hi
m:"moneyisnev
erenough.
..
but
,Iunder
stand
what
chutry
nasay"
Me:
"canIgi
vey
ouapi
eceofadv
ice"
?
Hi
m:"
sur
e"
Me:"
tr
usthi
m,notjustwi
thy
ourbusi
nessbutt
rust
hi
m asyourbr
other"
Hi
m:"
Itr
usthi
m nj
elov
e"
Me:"youdon't
,i
fyoudidy ouwoul dn'
tdoubthiset
hics
andquestionhisprocedures.Awngeni nndawokwi
procedur
esandschedul esoft hebusinessthe
minuteyouappointhim asmanager "
Hi
m:"
erh.
..
"
Me: "y
ourint
erestshoul
dtheproperfuncti
oni
ngof
thebusiness,
whethercustomersaresati
sfi
edor
not,andthenlast
ly,
i
stheplacegenerati
ngenough
revenueasitshould.That
'
sall"
Him:"
baby
..
.ar
eyousur
eyou'
reont
her
ightt
rack
kul
elawyakho"
?
Il
aughed:
v

Me:"yes,
butthatdoesn'
tmeanI '
m cl
uel
esson
business.Idi
dbusinessstudi
eswithdadback
home, t
obeaf arm gi
rl
,yougot
taknowal otmor
e
thanhowt ofeedchickens"
Hi
m:'
'
okay
..
.adv
icenot
ed"
Me:
"good"

Weconti
nuedeat
ingl
olandal
mostf
ini
shedt
he
meat:
v

Hi
m:"It
hinkI'
m gonnahav
eonechubbyki
d,y
azbon
i
ndl
elaotyangayo"
Me:
"achubbychi
l
disahappychi
l
d"
Hi
m:"
uzokusi
ndababeubeut
efel
amna"
Me:
"i
nst
eadbandi
tef
elebani
ke"
?
Heki
ssedmycheek,
Ibl
ushed.

Hi
m:"
Iwannamar
ryy
ousobad,
youhav
enoi
dea"
Me:"
it
sat
hri
l
li
ngi
dea.
..
butt
het
imi
ng,
i
stooper
fect
Bhut
i"
Hi
m:"
seewhenIsai
dy ou'r
edif
fer
ent?Whi
chgirl
in
t
hei
rri
ghtmi
ndswouldn'twannagetmarr
ied"
?
Me:"
haha!Yougi
veyoursel
ftoomuchcr edit.
..
but
xasi
thet
hel
aphantsi
,
Iknowal otofgi
rl
scr ushingon
you,
incl
udi
ngyourbabymomma"
Hi
m:"unedramakel
owo.
..Mom t
oldmeAnel
i
sa
wentther
e"
Me:
"shemi
ssesherki
d"
Hi
m:"
she'
sluckyIwasonmywayher
e"
Me:
"babe.
..
uzobanj
enakum?I
fwewer
etobr
eakup"
?
Hi
m:"
huh"
?
Me:
"t
heywayy
out
reatt
hem.
..
li
kesomeunwant
ed
v
isi
tor
s,t
rashev
en.I
tsnotagoodsi
ght
"
Him: "
yourfemi
ninesi
deisspeaki
ngandI
understandbuti
fyouknewwhatt heyputme
throughwhenwebr okeup.
..
youwoul dn'
tsi
dewi
th
them"
Me:
"you'
reagangst
aremember
?Andy
'al
lhav
ethi
s
i
sht
hatanil
ahlwa.
..
"

Hel
aughed:
/Iwasbei
ngr
eal
her
e.
[
10/
9,19:
04]‪+27730692704‬:
#140

Il
ookedathim,het
hinksI
'mj oki
ng?LikeI
'
m not
j
okingatal
l.
..
Idon'
tli
kehowhet reat
shisbaby
mommasmay beit
struethatIdon'
tknowwhatthey
puthi
mt hr
oughbut..
.Cummonman: /

Me:
"baby
"
Hi
m:"
mamekhay
a"
Me:
"khand'
bal
i
sel
eabouty
ourr
elat
ionshi
pwi
th
mamakaOwe"
Hi
m:"
hayhaybabe"
Me:
"ohcummon,
arey
ouhi
dingsomet
hing"
?
Him:
"noman,
buty
out
endt
obet
oosensi
ti
ve
someti
mes"
Me:
"wel
lIwon'
tcomparei
ttoourr
elat
ionshi
pif
t
hat
'swhatyoumean"
Hi
m:"okay
..
.wemetaf
ewyearsback,
Ifel
li
nlove
wi
thhersheseemedt
obeexact
lywhatIwantedina
wi
fe"
Me:
"soy
ouwant
edt
omar
ryher
"?
Him:"yeah,
wegotengagedwhenshewaspr egnant
butthatwast hesamet i
meIopenedupt oherabout
mysecondl if
est y
leandshemadeitverycl
earthat
shewoul dn'
triskherl
if
eli
vingi
nfearofwhatcould
happenwhen"
Me:"
soyou'
retel
l
ingmeshehasnoexper
ienceof
youasBeast
"?
Him:
"no,
IwasalwaysNtandothefi
ancébutIhadto
comecleansooner
..
.myrel
ati
onshi
pwithherwasn'
t
assweetorsmoothasshe'
dhav
eenvisi
onedI
mean,
webr okeupandmadeupacoupleoft
imes"
Me:
"wer
eyout
hecause"
?
Hi
m:"
yes"
Me:
"Anel
i
sa"
?
Hi
m:"
yoooohhaydr
amaqueenl
eyo"
Me:
"way
aumbona"
Him:"yeahwhatever
..
.she,
shehadt
hatall
uri
ng
presence.YouknowIl ovet
obechall
engedsoIsaw
herasachal l
enge"
Me:
"di
dyouwi
n"?
Him:
"IdoubtIeverwi
ll
.
..y
ouknowt
her
ewasapoint
wheretheygangeduponmeandalmostbur
ntme
down"

Ibur
stoutl
aughi
ng.
.i
shef
oreal
?:v:
v

Me:
"whathappened"
?
Him:"Ihadthi
shugef i
ghtwithAnel i
sa,wef ought
l
awei .
..
welli
twasbad,shewashospi tali
zedf ort
wo
weeks.Whenshecameout ,Iapologizedt hough
i
nguy ewhowaswr ongthenwemov edonorsoI
thought.Aft
eramont horso..
.Ihadj ustreturned
from Europendafi
kari
ghtendliniyonkintoIngeor der
cozwewer eli
vi
ngtogether
.Ndamoshangol alayho
ndothukaindluimnyamangumsi andt heywer e
nowher etobefound"
Me:
"t
hey
"?
Hi
m:"
noThando"
Me:
"sohowdi
dyoucomeout
"
Hi
m:"Iusedanunder
groundexi
tint
hebathr
oom and
wenttothegar
agefi
kaemkengemot oy
am"
Me:
"wow"
Him:"Icall
edRanger,hecamewi t
hacarandIdr ove
toChuma' spl
acefi
kabesancokolel
anathei
r
success,that'
swhenItookmychi l
drentomymom' s
foray earcozIneededtodeal wi
ththesel
adies
withoutthinki
ngoftheeffecti
twil
lhaveonmyki ds"
Me:
"deal
"?

Wahleka:
/lomnt
uunj
ankant
i?Whoam Idat
ing
her
e?

Aswewer est
il
ltal
ki
ng,
Ihear
daknockndamjonga
,hegotupandwenttoopenthedoor
,wangenau
Liboencumeekwil
astnumberyesmil
es-_
-

Her
:"
mol
wenbhut
'"
Hi
m:"
hey
,comeoni
n"
Her
:"
heyTee"

Ij
ustfakedasmi l
eandtooktheplatestothe
ki
tchenndazenzel
aIicecream ndabuyel
aelounge

Her
:"
uhm,
uri
ght
"?
Me:
"I
'mf
inewena"
Her
:"
great
,Ibr
oughtt
hese"

Shehandedmet
heshoppi
ngbag

Me:
"t
hanks"

Idi
dn'
tev
enl
ooki
nsi
de.

Him:"
uhm,
l
etmemakeaqui
ckphonecal
l
.I'
l
lber
ight
back"
Me:
"er
h..
.Ineedar
ideneh"
?
Hi
m:"
ayt
"

NowIwasl
eftt
omakeconv
ersat
ionwi
thLi
bo?

Her
:"
Iwasgladwhenheuhm,askedmet
obuyt
hese
f
oryou.Wi
thhismoneyof
coz"
Me:
"Isee"
Her:
"l
ook,
Isawthi
sasachancet
oapol
ogizet
oyou
f
orourroughbegi
nni
ng.I
'
dli
keustost
artonanew
l
ease"
Me:
"okay
"
Her
:"
but
..
.Ihav
eaLi
lconcer
n"
Me:
"youdo"
?
Her:
"yeah,
uhm..
.Eversi
ncey
oucameint
oourlives,
I
haven'
tbeenreal
lyseei
ngmyboy
fri
endl
ikeIused
to"
Me:
"oh"
Her
:"heinv
itesyoutochur
ch,
takeyououton
l
unch,t
akesy oushoppi
ngandlastni
ght
?Youwent
t
owor kwithhim"
Me:
"heneededhel
p"
Her:
"wel
lbefor
e,heusedt
ocal
lmeorany
oneofus
eveninourdayoffs"
Me:
"Isee"
Her
:"
look,
asmuchasIwantacl
eansl
ate,
Idohav
eit
i
nmi ndthaty '
al
larefri
endsbutcanIatl eastspend
ti
mewi thhim?Ashi sgirl
fri
end?CozIknowt hat
event odayy'all
areplanningtostudytogether.
..
mind
you,Ihadplansf orus,
sincewe'rebothoffbut
nope,hecoul dn'
tmakei tbecausehepr omisedhe'l
l
helpy oustudy"

Isatthere..
.f
eeli
ngwhatshewassay i
ng,
probl
em
i
s..
.Idon'tknowwhatshewant edmetosayordo:/I
don'treal
lycontr
olVincecoznam ndi
yamcela
amxeleleuLi bobeyondthat,
it
snonofmybusiness
howt heyhandletheirr
elat
ionshi
p.

Me:
"okay
..
.souf
unandi
thi
niLi
bo"
?
Her
:"
spendl
esst
imewi
thhi
m sohecanspendmor
e
t
imewithme"

Esat
sho.
..
waf
ounaumnt
uwakhendamj
onga

Me:
"speakoft
hedev
il
"
Her
:"
ohdon'
ttel
lhi
mI'
m-"

Me:
"nt
wana"
Hi
m:"
hey
,sowhatt
imedi
dyousaywemeet
ing"
?
Me:"
uhm,Idon'
tthi
nkweshoul
dyouknow.
Somethi
ngcameup"
Hi
m:"
somet
hing?Li
kewhat
"?
Me:
"i
tsper
sonal
..
but
,t
hanksf
orav
ail
i
ngy
our
sel
f"
Hi
m:"
soy
ounol
ongerneedhel
p"?
Me:
"qui
tef
rankl
y,
Idobutuhm.
..
I'
l
lseewhatIcando
man,
don'
tstr
ess"
Hi
m:"
mh,
mmkay
"
Me:
"ay
tman"
Hi
m:"
shar
p"

Hehungup.
..
Li
bo:
"t
hanky
o-ohno"
!

Nowherphonewasr
ingi
ng:
v

Her
:"
babe"
Hi
m:"
uphi
"
Her
:"
I'
mint
own,
sup"
Hi
m:"
ndawni
?Iwannacomeseey
ou"
Her
:"
I'
minat
axi
,
I'
ll
comet
oyou"
Hi
m:"
shar
p"

Hehungup. ..
Ilookedather: /Idon'
tblameherf or
beingi
nsecurecozhei sHOT: pandhast hatsweet
sexyvoicethatmakesy ouwannal i
stentohim but
uhm,VinceandIar ejustfri
ends-_-t
hat'sal
l.

Her
:"
Ibet
terr
un,
thanksal
ot"
Me:
"f
orwhat
?Youknowwhat
,don'
tanswert
hat
.But
t
hanky
ouf
ort
hese"

Il
i
ftedt
hebag.
.i
nref
erence
Shetookhephoneandwal kedout.
..Isatt
her
e
thi
nki
ng:/welli
fVi
nceisn'tall
owedtohelpmethen
Ishoul
djusthel
pmy sel
f,
thisismyli
feandeducat
ion
we'r
etal
kingabout
.Baewal kedbackdown

Hi
m:"
hai
bo,
Li
boi
sgoneal
ready
"?

Inodmyhead
Hesatdownnextt
ome.
..

Hi
m:"
didy
'al
lsor
touty
ourdi
ff
erences"
?
Me:
"It
hinkso.
..
Idon'
tknow"
Hi
m:"
whi
chi
swhi
ch"
?
Me:"
hay
wethukhawme.
..Ineedt
ogohomeand
f
etchmybooks"
Hi
m:"
thoughty
ou'
regoi
ng,
asi
n..
.f
orgood"
Me:
"sowi
l
lyout
akeme"
?
Hi
m:"
ify
ou'
l
lbedr
ivi
ngst
handwasam"
Me:
"okay
"

Iwentupst
air
swi t
ht hatsoppi
ngbagandwor ethat
navyshor
tswithmybl ackvestandsneaker
sthenI
wentbackdownandwewentout ,
Idrov
ethecarto
Luke'
shouse:)thefeeli
ngneverceasesnomatter
howmanyt i
mesIdr ivehiscar
s.
[
10/
9,19:
04]‪+27730692704‬:
#141

Wear r
ivedekhay
abutnoonewashomesoIuseda
digi
tal
codetoentercozIdidn'
thavekeys,
Imanaged
togetusinandtookmyschool bookscozkeIreal
ly
neededtostudyeveninbaecat
ionmntakadad.I
tookahoodieandmyt oi
let
rybag

Me:
"sambe"
Hi
m:"
Ithi
nky
oushoul
dal
sot
akecl
othesf
orchur
ch"
Me:
"chur
ch?Wi
thwho'
'
?
Hi
m:"
meof
coz"
Me:
"you'
rej
oki
ng"

Hewasn'
t.
..Huh?:
o

Me:
"okayy
ou'
reser
ious"
Iturnedandwal kedbacktomyr oom,It
ookali
me
greendress,bl
acksti
ll
sandj ewelsal
ongwit
habl ack
andl i
mecl ut
chnewal l
etofcozthist
imendazi
faka
kwi handbag.

Thenwel eftthehouse, hewantedust ogov i

athe
ShisaNyamaIt oldhim wewon' t,
Ihadt ostudyfondin
evenifndinendodat hatshouldn'tstopmef rom
studyi
ngespeci al
lysincet hi
swasmyf inal
exam, I
neededtopasswi thfly
ingcolors..
.ekhayathey'
re
expecti
ngdi st
inct
ionskal ok.
Whenwer eachedthehouseIsetoutallt
herequir
ed
booksndaqal ai
zfundela,
hebecamenonexistent
ngokuakhoy oandher espectedmyspaceokoehleli
upstai
rs.
..
afterthr
eehoursItookabreakandmade
my sel
fasmoot hiethenIwalkedupst
air
sndafika
el
ele:/Ikissedhissli
ghtl
yopenli
psandlefthim
ndabuyelaezantsiandoneofmyphoneswas
ri
nging..
.

Me:
"Ti
tus"
Hi
m:"
bhey
ibhi
,
unj
ani
"
Me:
"I
'm swamped,
butgood.Wena"
Him:"
I'
m gr
eat,
umnt
uwakhokenoKwakhobeza
aphonextweekmaybey
ou'
ll
bumpint
othem"
Me:
"Landi
l
e"?
Hi
m: "
yes,
heiscomi
ngt
othey
earcl
osi
ng
t
ournament"
Me:
"wenaawuzi
"?
Hi
m:"
Ist
oppedpl
ayi
ngsoccer
..
.Ipl
ayr
ugbynow"
Me:
"oh,
soOv
ayouy
aphi
kengok"
?
Him:
"uy
amkhapha,
prot
ect
inghi
mfr
om t
hel
i
kesof
you"
Me_
:"hahaha!Unexeshat
hough"
Hi
m:"
what
chubusydoi
ng"
?
Me:
"goi
ngt
hroughmybooks"
Hi
m:"
ngokundi
cingaukwi
baecat
ion"
Me:
"Iam butbooksarethemostimpor
tantpar
tof
myl
iferi
ghtnow,baecat
ionr
it
ualscanwait
"
Hi
m:"
that
'sonel
uckyman,
Ihopeheappr
eci
atesy
ou"
Me:
"awman"
Hi
m:"
nyhani
,
ther
earefewgirl
swhomeetwel
l
moni
edpeopl
eyetthey'
ref
ocusst
andsont
hei
r
st
udi
esandmakingthei
rownmoney"
Me:"i
tal
ldependsonhowy
ouwer
erai
sed,
the
ci
rcumstancesandal
l
"
Hi
m:"
yeahIgety
ou,
l
etmenotgoody
ouanyf
urt
her
ke"
Me:
"shar
pBhut
i"

Wehungup.
..
whenmysmoot hi
ewasamperklaarI
r
esumedbackandrev
isedt
hemostimpor
tantnotes
.Ihear
daknockandwenttoopen.
..

Me:
"er
h..
.hi
"
Hi
m:"
hi,
canwecomei
n"?
Me:
"sur
e"

:
owhatthehell
isVincentuptonow?Theycamein
andsatdown,
Ioff
eredthem dr
inksbat
hibar
ightsoI
satdown

Me:
"shoul
dIcal
lyourbr
other
"?
Hi
m:"
not
hatwon'
tbenecessar
y"
Me:
"oh-
kay
"
Hi
m:"
soy
ou'
rest
udy
ingal
onehuh"
?
Me:"
yeahuhm,
Ineededt
hespaceman.Not
hing
per
sonal
"
Hi
m:"
mmh.
..Li
boher
ehassomet
hingt
osay
"
Me:
"oh"

Il
ookedather
,wai
ti
ng

Her:
"Vi
nceher
esaysIwasoutofl
i
ne,thatIshoul
d
apol
ogizef
orwhatIsai
dtoy
ouearl
ier
"
Me:
"andwhat
'
sthat
"?
Her
:"
ever
ythi
ngi
nfact
"
Me:"
there'
snoneedforanapol
ogyman,
Iunder
stand
whereyou'
recomingfr
om"
Her:
"wel
lhedoesn'
tseem tounder
stand,
infacthe
sai
dIcrossedthel
ine.
..
Idon'
tknowwhatlineexact
ly
we'
retal
kingabout
"
Me:
"l
ookLi
bo,
Ier
hm.
..If
oronedon'
tneedan
apol
ogyfrom y
ou.But
,r
efer
ri
ngtoyountwanayou
needtospendmoreti
mewi t
hyourgi
rl
.That'
sall
"
Hi
m:"
that
'snotwhywe'
reher
e"
Me:"Idon'
tcare..
.butkefrom nowon,i
fyouneed
extr
ahandsi ngathingewsenzangalendl
elaobukade
usenzangay obeforeIcameher e.I
fyoufeell
ike
shoppingtakeherwi t
h,t
hatwayy ou'
regrowi
ngy our
rel
ati
onshiptogether"
Her
:"
ingat
hiI
'
m sel
fi
shkexndi
si
tshongokwam"

Baewalkedi
n..
.conf
used:
v,
heki
ssedmycheekand
satdownnextt
ome

Hi
m:"
ekse"
Vi
nce:
"shobr
a"
Hi
m:"
what
'sgoi
ngon"
?
Vi
nce:
"not
hing,
wewer
ejustpassi
ngby
"
Hi
m:"
oohmm"
Vince:"
letusnotwastemor
eofy
ourt
imekesi
si
neh..
.asicel
eindl
ela"
Me:
"oh,
thanksf
orcomi
ngby
"
Li
bo:
"shar
p"

Theygotupanl ef
t.
..Babywandi
jonga,
Ilookedatmy
books:)hiseyesboredeepi
ntomebutIwas
resi
stantmntakadad.Iwant
edhimt oask,l
olnot
thatIwasgonnaanswerhim any
way ..
.

Hi
m:"
kwenzekant
onkwaba"
?
Me:
"Idon'
tknow"
Hi
m:"
sundenzamuncubabe"
Me:
'
mnt
uwam"
Hi
m:"
mh"
?
Me:"
Ineedjustanhournj
etof
ini
sht
hisofft
henwe
cantal
kaboutwhatevery
ouwannat
alkabout"
Hi
m:"
okay
..
.ndi
l
ambi
l
eqhakemnake"
Me:
"zenzel
eukut
yaf
ondi
n"

Hegotupandwentt othekit
chen.
..
afteraboutthi
rt
y
minutesIcoul
dsmelladiv
inesmellofchickencurr
y
:pndodam yil
egendever
ywheremtchanam!WhenI
wasdoneIpackedmybooksandt ookt hem upstai
rs,
hedishedupforbot
hofusandwedugi n.

Me:
"sot
ell
me,
whi
chchur
chwe'
regoi
ngy
ongomso"
Hi
m:"
kul
ekaChom wakho"
Me:
"oh"
Hi
m:"
Ist
il
lwannaknowwhat
'sgoi
ngon"
Me:
"not
hing"
Hi
m:"
uyazbona"
Me:"
it
sjustsomethingLi
lIt
hinkt
heycansol
vei
t
wi
thouti
nterf
erence"
Hi
m:"
Iheary
ou,
butwhati
sgoi
ngon"
Isi
ghedy
hol
omnt
uuper
sist
entman

Me:"ear
li
erwhenLi bowasher
esheki
ndatol
dme
howmyf r
iendshi
pwi t
hVi
ncehasaf
fect
edthei
r
rel
ati
onship"
Hi
m:"
ohsot
hat
'swhyy
oucancel
eduf
undanay
e"
Me:"yeahImean,sheplannedaweekendwithhi
m,he
canceledbecauseofthisstudyt
hingandt
hatdi
dn't
si
twel lwi
thher"
Hi
m:"
Isee"
Me:"
mnapersonall
yspeaki
ngIunderstandher,
noli
e.
Butshe'
ssupposedtopourouthergri
evancesto
hi
m,notme"
Hi
m:"
howdi
dhet
akei
t"
?
Me:"
nott
oowell
..
.t
hat'
swhyt
heycamebackagai
n..
.I
t
hinkhef
orcedhert
ocomeandapologi
ze"
Hi
m:"
that
'sVi
ncent
"
Me:"
butnguyeorongonj
ebabe.Idon'
tmind
st
udyingal
one,
Iwrit
edownquesti
onsthatIdon'
t
under
standndizi
buz
ewhenI '
mincl
ass.Idon'
tget
whyhe'smakingabigdeal
outofnot
hing"
Hi
m:"
youwer
eri
ghtt
hough,
weshoul
dn'
ti
nter
fer
e"
Me:
'
'yabo.
..
ohand,
thanksf
ort
hef
ood.Del
i
sh"
Hi
m:"t
hef
ewday
sthatI
'
m wi
thy
ouIgotspoi
lyou
r
ott
en"
Me:
"wor
seusezondi
shi
yaf
orawhol
emont
h"
Hi
m:"
hahay
eaht
hatt
oo"

Whenwewer edoneIwentt owasht hepl

ates,he
camet opackthem i
nthecupboar dsandwepl ayed
aroundtheki
tchen:Djustbeforehescoopedmeup
andtookmet otheroom wher ehecaref
ull
ypl aced
meont hebedkissi
ngmesof tl
yandseductively

Me:
"babe"
Hi
m:"
mmh"
Me:
"t
her
e'ssomet
hingIwannaasky
ou"
Hi
m:"
sho"

Buthecontinuedki
ssingme. .
.wekissedandkissed
andstoppedwhenwest opped,wedidn'
tgoay
fur
ther
,wejustkeptonsmi l
ingateachother.

Him:"
I'
m gonnahaveonehel
luvabeaut
if
ulson,
wit
h
hazelbr
owney es,
bri
ghtt
eet
h,"
Me:
"shebet
ternott
akey
ourcompl
exi
on"
Hi
m:"
sund'
qhel
a"
Me:
"shecant
akey
ourhear
t,
that
'sal
l
"
Hi
m:"
yhu!Hear
tonl
y"?
Me:"
yeah,
i
fshedoesIknowshe'
llpr
otectandt
hink
ofhermommawher ev
ershegoes"
Hi
m:"
babeman"
Me:
"f
orr
eal
"
.
.
cwaka
.
Hi
m:"
don'
tyouev
ert
hinkofy
ourmot
her
,bi
ologi
cal
"
Me:
"Ido"
Hi
m:"
doy
oumi
ssher
"
Me:
"ev
eryday.Lookdon'
tgetmewr
ong,
I'
m gr
atef
ul
t
otheSmithsforev
eryt
hing"
Hi
m:"
yourdad"
?
Me:
"Idon'
tknowhi
m"
Hi
m:"
nothi
sname,
not
hing"
?
Me:
"nope"
Hi
m:"
aren'
tyoucur
ioust
hough"
Me:"
Iam,j
ustt
hatIfearthey
'l
lnev
eracceptme.You
know,
I'
m af
rai
dofreject
ion"
Him:"
buty
ou'
l
lnev
erknowunt
ily
ousear
chandf
ind
out"
Me:
"I'
m notr
eadybabe.
..
whatwil
lIsayt
ohi
m?How
wi
ll
Iblendwitht
hem?Ha,anotnow"
Hi
m:"
babay
ouknowy
oushoul
dhav
eacl
an,
ri
ght
"?
Me:"
mymom hadone.
..Mam'
Zangwa.That
'sal
lI
know"

Hesmi
l
ed.
..
andki
ssedt
het
ipofmynose

Hi
m:"
ncut
hu"
Me:
"what
'st
hat
"?
Hi
m:"t
hat
'syou,
makhwal
o,ncuthu.
..
sinceyourmom
wasn'
tmarr
iedt
oyourdady ououghttotakeher
cl
anname"
Me:
"ny
hani
"?
Hi
m:"
yeap"
Me:
"what
'sy
our
s"?
Him:
"Ndi
nguJoj
ouZ'
khal
iuTi
yeka,
ubuTsol
o
bent
onga"
Me:
"awsat
shokamnandi
"
Hi
m:"
weneedt
ofi
ndy
ourdadt
hough"
Me:
"may
beaf
tert
hebabyi
sbor
n,notnow"
Hi
m:"usur
e"?
Me:
"yes"

Ihuggedhi
m..
.

Hi
m:"y
ouwant
edt
oaskmesomet
hing"
?
Me:
"yeah.
..
canweatl
eastgot
oascanbef
orey
ou
l
eav
e"
Hi
m:"
yeahsur
e,t
hat
'
llbegr
eat
"
Me:
"kay
"

Icl
osedmyeyes.
..af
terthosehour
sofreadi
ngI
neededamental
restnjeforafewminutes.
[
10/9,19:
05]‪+27730692704‬: :
*<3<3Babal wa
Masit
hathuSaj
i
ni-Thi
sinser
tgoesoutbecauseof
YOU<3<3: *

-
-
#142

IthoughtIwasj ustresti
ngbutIendedupf alling
asleep:/butkeIdi dwakeupandhewasst i
l
l nextto
me, Il
if
tedupmyheadandki ssedhi sl
ips:)Icoul d
l
ivel i
ket hi
s...
foreverbutmypr oblem wasthatI
hadn'tseenBeastunl eashj usty etsothi
slink
romant icpsy chologicalislandmeantabsol utely
nothingasy et.Iwentt ot hebat hroom ndabuy aand
stoodi nf r
ontoft hemi r
rorlolv estyam i
thencabut
akhont oi thindimithitu.
Hi
m:"
andt
hen"
Me:
"t
henwhat
"?
Hi
m:"
ukhangel
ant
onespi
l
ini
"?
Me:
"l
ent
ouy
fakekum"

Hel
aughed.
..
li
ke:
/I'
m notl
aughi
ng
Hi
m:"
you'
ret
ooupt
ightbabe"
Me:
"ngxaki
andboni
ntoi
hleki
say
o"
Him:"
..
.notthatI
'm complai
ning,
giv
esmet
he
opport
unitytoexer
cise"

Mymindrewi
ndedwhathej
ustsai
d:vIt
ookt
he
shawl
andthr
ewitonhi
sface

Me:
"eeuwgety
ourmi
ndoutoft
hatsewer
age"
Hi
m:"
babywam"
Me:"
mxm..
.Ineedt
orev
iseonwhatIwasl
ear
ning
ear
li
er"
Hi
m:"
easyway
..
.doy
ouhav
epastquest
ionpaper
s"?
Me:
"yesbutIcan'
tmar
kmy
sel
f"
Hi
m:"
I'
ll
mar
kyou"
Me:
"okayke.
..
let
'
sdot
his"

Hai
kewest
art
edt
hecount
lesst
est
sandaf
terhal
f
anhourhest artedthemar ki
ng...
Iwaskindawor ri
ed
though: /howcanIexpectabusi nessmant omar k
thoroughlytestsoflaw?ButIl efthim al
oneand
wentt owar mt heleftoverfood,Imademy sel
fa
bananasmoot hieandsatont hathi ghstooldri
nki
ng
i
tasIWai tedforthef ood.Whent hefoodwasdoneI
dishedupandt ooki tupstair
s,hewasst i
llmarking-_
-Iwentbackdownst airstofetchmysmoot hiegqiba
ndeny ukandahl al
akul acomput erdesk

Me:
"canIusey
ourl
apt
op"
?
Hi
m:"
sur
e"

Iopenedi
t,
tookafl
ashfr
om mybagandpl
uggedi
t
i
n.Ngxakiyabay
ipassword.
..

Me:
"passwor
d"
Hi
m:"
Owent
ando"
Ipunchedi ti
nyangena. .
.iuhm,ifi
rstroamedaround
i
nhi sf i
les.Sawpi cszabantwanabakhef rom
bir
th,hispictur
es,somet hatIassumedwer ehi
s
familyandmor e..
.ther
ewer edocument sthat
tempt edmebutt henIwat chedmov i
esthatwereon
myf l
ashandl efthispri
vatestuffalone.

Hi
m:"
babes"
Me:
"mh"
Hi
m:"
I'
m done"

Ij
umpedoutofmychai rndwenttocheckoutwhat
hewast al
kingabout:vandt obefrank,t
heresult
s
wereaccurate.Ihuggedhim andnotedt het
hingsI
gotwrongthenIbr oughtthefoodcloserwhil
ehe
wenttothebat hr
oom wabuy asaty
a

Hi
m:"
busenzani
kul
alapt
op"
Me:
"wat
chi
ngmov
ies"
Hi
m:"
akhomov
iesi
nsomeoft
hef
il
esy
ouopened"
Me:
"whatf
il
es"
?
Hi
m:"
fami
l
ypi
ctur
es?Docu-
"
Me:
"hol
yshi
tthat
'scr
eepy
..
undi
bonenj
ani
"?

Heshowedmehi sphone...
lolt
hiscr
apnoti
fi
eshi
m
ofEVERYTHING,li
keev enhowmanymi nutesI
l
ingeredontopofthosedocument sundeci
dedon
whethertoopenornot...
helookedatmendavel
a
ndamhleka:vIcoul
dn'tdenyitmos.

Me:
"okayf
ine,
yougotme"
Hi
m:"
whatwer
eyoul
ooki
ngf
or"
Me:
"Idon'
treal
l
yknowy
azbabe"
Him:
"wel
lyoudoknowyoucanj
ustask,
andI'
ll
tel
l
youwhat
everi
tist
haty
ouwanttoknow.Right
"?
Me:
"cor
rect
"
Hi
m:"
nowask"
Me:"
ther
e'snot
hingIwannaask,
Iwasj
ustcur
ious
ngal
amzuzuthat'
sall
"
Hi
m:"
usur
e"
Me:
"100%,
nowcanweeat
"?

Weat
eup.
..
maki
ngsmal
lconv
ersat
ionnj
e

Hi
m:"
Ineedt
oasky
ouaf
avor
"
Me:
"asl
ongasIwon'
thav
etoki
l
lsomeone"
Hi
m:"
ther
e'l
lbet
imef
ort
hatdon'
twor
ry"

Myey
esal
mostpopped:
vhebur
stoutwandi
hleka

Me:
"babedon'
tpl
ayl
i
ket
hat
"
Hi
m:"
hm.
..
any
way
,pl
str
ytost
ayawayf
rom Vi
ncent"
Me:
"ohcummonnoty
out
oo"
Hi
m:"
Vinceneedst
ofocusonLi
boandhi
sposi
ti
on
asamanager
,notf
orget
ti
ngschool
"
Me:"butbabehe'stheonlyf
ri
endI
'vemadeher
e,how
am Ijustsupposedtostayawayf
rom hi
m"?
Him:
"youneedtotry
,I
'v
eknownhim andLi
bofor
qui
tesometime..
.t
hey'
regoodf
oreachother
"
Me:
"Iknowt
hat
"
Hi
m:"and,
I'
venot
icedhowhel
ooksaty
ou.
..Iknow
whyLiboseemsinsecur
e"
Me:
"oh?I
'
m sur
eyou'
regonnat
ell
me"
Hi
m:"
youmeany
oudon'
tseei
t"
?
Me:
"noactual
lyIdon'
t,
Vincentisyourbr
otherandhe
i
smyf r
iend.
..
Idon'
tseewhyy 'all
areonourcase"
Hi
m:"
baby
"
Me:
"hayf
ondi
n"
Hi
m:"
baby
"
Me:
"t
het
haNt
ando"
Hi
m:"Thei
rrel
ati
onshi
pri
ghtnowi satacri
ti
cal
st
age,
theydon'
tneedint
erf
erenceli
keyousaid,
soI
t
hinknowi
sthet
imet
onoti
nter
fer
e"
Me:
"f
ine"
Hi
m:"
uqumbi
l
ekengok"
?
Me:"
andiqumbanga,Ithoughtwenaofal
lpeopl
eyou
wi
llunderst
andbutkewhatcanIsay ?I'
mt henew
ki
dont heblockandit
hi"?

Ucimbaukhewandi
phendul
alo?Whenwewer
e
doneeati
ngItookt
hetr
aydownandwashedt
he
di
shes,hecamedownwithmyphone.

Hi
m:"
babenankuVi
nce"
Me:
"mxel
elewear
enotsupposedt
otal
k"
Hi
m:"
ohcummon"
Me:
"kant
iugqi
bot
hini
"?
Hi
m:"
cany
ouj
ustt
alkt
otheguyuy
ekeubachi
l
dish"
Me:"hm,
lont
ocabandichi
ldi
shnyhancozt
hiswor
d
keepsappeari
ngi
nyourvocabul
arywi
thme"
It
ookmyphone

Me:
"Vi
nce"
Hi
m:"
kwenzekant
oni
"
Me:
"Idon'
tknowanIdon'
tthi
nkIcar
e"
Hi
m:"
neh"
?
Me:
"yeah"
Hi
m:"
okay
,I
'l
ltal
ktoy
ouaf
terchur
chngomso"
Me:"
lookbro,
ther
e'snothi
ngtot
alkabout.Let
's
j
ust,
pret
endwedon' tknoweachotherl
i
fewi l
lbe
gr
eatntwana"
Hi
m:"
didhet
ell
yout
hat
"
Me:"nohedoesn'thav
eanythi
ngtodowith
t
his..
.ndiy
abonaqhatheef
fectourf
ri
endshi
phason
yourrelat
ionshi
p"
Hi
m:"
hm,
okay
,tomor
rowqha"
Me:
"kayf
ine"
Hehungup

Igavebaethephonehewalkedbackupstai
rs.:
/hay
kodwa..
.butIgot
tadowhatIhav
etojustso
ever
yoneishappy..
.r
ight
?
[
10/
9,19:
06]‪+27730692704‬:
#143

Iwashedezi
zi
ntondagqibathenIwenttobat
hcoz
bekulat
enow,Iworehi
sv estzol
alangay
o:DthenI
tookoutmydressandir
onedi t

Me:
"awnant
oizof
unaui
ron'
wa"
?
Hi
m:"Ido.
..
"

Waphakamaandl ookedforj
eans,whit
emuscl e
huggi
ngT-shi
rtandasoftblueblazerIi
ronedthem
andputthem i
nsi
declosethangi
ngt henIcol
lected
mybooksgqibakwam ndakhwelaebhedinindacofaI
phoneyam,hi
st wophonesrangatthesametime..
.
Helookedatthem andtookone,
rej
ecti
ngtheother
.
Marcuscal
ledme

Me:
"boet
"
Hi
m:"
Ifoundaspeci
ali
st"
Me:
"f
ordad?Wher
e"?
Hi
m:"
he'
sinCai
ro"
Me:
"you'
reki
ddi
ng"
Him:"
andsincewecan'
tfl
ydadoverther
e,I
'
m
negot
iati
ngapri
ceforhi
stoatl
eastcomet oSA
thenI
'l
lfl
ydadtoCT"
Me:
"dadwon'
tagr
eet
othat
"
Hi
m:"
noti
fal
lofuswor
ktoget
herandconv
incehi
m"
Me:
"oh-
kay
"
Hi
m:"
thi
sguysaidhe'
ll
onlybeabl
etof
lyov
eront
he
f
ir
stweekofnextmonth"
Me:
"we'
l
lal
lbehomebyt
hen"
Him:"
myt houghtex
act
ly,
sot
hiscoul
dwor
kout
perf
ectl
y"
Me:
"yeah,
thanky
ouman"
Hi
m:"nothanky
oufortel
li
ngme.
..
Iknowi
teasyt
o
goagai
nstmom li
kethat
"
Me:
"keepi
ngsuchasecr
etwashar
der
,t
rustme"
Hi
m:"
hav
eagoodni
ghtLi
lone"
Me:
"t
hanksman,
ki
ssJrf
orme"
Hi
m:"
wil
ldo"

WhenIwasdone, Ipul
ledthecover
sandcov eredmy
head..
.Ihadnot hi
ngtosaytoNtando.Nothi
ngatall
.
Myphoner ang,agai
n.Iputi
tonsil
enceunti
l t
he
cal
lerstopped,xandi
qalaucimel
ay aphi
ndaleway,
I
snatcheditwithanger:o

Me:
"what
"?
Hi
m:"
oh.
..
badt
imi
ng"
?
Me:
"uf
unani
"?
Him:"
Tri
na,
I'
m sur
ewecanbeci
vi
lev
eni
fwenot
dati
nganymore"

Ikindabi
tmyt onguewhenIr eal
i
zedi t
sLaa:/but
thenagainndacaphukacozwhyt hehelli
shecall
ing
meebusuku?May bePrett
ysoonNt andoisgonna
givemenexeshal of
ounelwasana..
.ANDthelimit
yabantuabazondi
founela.
..

Me:
"bhut
ikhawphendul
eumbuzowhatdoy
ouwant
"?
Hi
m:"
uhm,
Ij
ustwant
edt
ocheckony
ou"
Me:
"I
'm nohospi
tal
pat
ienty
oudon'
thav
etocheck
onme"
Him:"
I'
llbei
nJo'bur
gnextweekbendi
ci
nga
ngozokubonanobalusukul
i
nyeke"
Me:
"akhomort
uar
yekhay
a,i
zi
dumbuzi
bonwakwa
Dov
esokay"
Hi
m:"
whatgoty
ousowor
kedup"
Me:
"wast
her
eany
thi
ngel
se"
?
Him:"
no.
..
canIcal
lyout
omor
rowke,
wheny
ou'
ve
cal
meddown"?
Me:
"what
ever
"

Ihungupandshutmyey
es.
..Vi
ncesentanSMS:

'I
'm sorr
yifIgotbetweenyouandmybr other,
wasn'
t
myi nt
enti
onatall.Maybeitsr
ightthi
sway,butwe
can'
tjuststopbei
ngf r
iendsunlessnawekeuy af
una.
Night'

Idi
dn'
trespond.IsatupandlookedatNtando..He
wasbusyonhi sphone.
..
foralooooongminuteif
i
khona,
thenhenot i
cedmygaze...

Hi
m:"
uthenbabe"
Me:
"Iwon'
tst
opbei
ngf
ri
endswi
thVi
ncent
"
Hi
m:"
thi
nkofLi
bo"
Me:"Idon'
tcareaboutherandIwon'tbebul
li
edint
o
t
his..
.ANDy ouarenotgoi
ngtoforcethi
sstupi
didea
yakhonoLiboonVi nce"

Hel ookedatme,smil
edandgotbackt ohisphone: o
reall
y?He'snotgonnaargue?Seeingthathe'
snot
respondingIr
esumedt osleepi
ng.Ihavediff
icul
ty
sleepingwhenI'
mt r
oubledkesanasot hi
swasno
diff
erent.

Itossedandt urnedhalfofthenightandIswearto
yousomet hi
ngmaj orwasgoingdown
somewher e,
hewasbusyont woofhi sphonesand
ont helaptop.Hayndancamaul alaandwent
downst ai
rsmademy selfacupofr ooi
bostea
ndakhangel aii
ruskstherewereonlyaf ew
ndazithathandayobukelaITVandcal ledmysist
er

Her
:"
mmh"
Me:
"Imi
ssy
ou"
Her
:"
fokTr
inai
tst
hreei
nthemor
ning"
Me:
"Iknow"

Shesi
ghedandmusthav
esatup:
v

Her
:"
okay
,what
'
sbot
her
ingy
ou"
?
Me:
"Ican'
tsl
eepman"
Her
:"
isi
tthebaby
"?
Me:
"no"
Her
:"
dri
nky
ourher
bal
teaoreati
cecr
eam man"
Me:
"I
'm dr
inki
ngt
ea"
Her
:"
wher
e'sy
ourman"
?
Me:
"mxm t
hatone,
he'
sbusyonhi
sdev
ices"
Her:
"okay.
..
afterdr
inki
ngyourt
ea,
makesurey
ou
haveablankienexttoyouandwatchachi
ckf
li
ck.
You'
llbefi
ne"
Me:
"ay
t,sor
ryf
orwaki
ngy
ou"
Her
:"
you'
renotsor
ry"

Il
aughed,
shehunguponmenday
othat
hat
heshawl
upst
air
s

Hi
m:"
uyaphi
"
Me:
"downst
air
s"
Hi
m:"
what
'swi
tht
heshawl
"?

Wel lubuzekakubi sendikwi stai

rsandIdi dn'treal
ly
wannaspeakoutl oud,Ij
ustkeptonwal ki
ngndaf i
ka
ezant sindabukelaITVmna: )mademy self
comf or t
ableasIswi t
chedt hrought hechannel s
l
ooki ngf oranythi
ngthatwi l
l eventual
lysootheme
andIf oundit.
..
Whydi dIgetmar ri
ed?Lamov i
eisa
classicmt chanam, ay
iphelel
wat u.Half
wayt hrough
themov ieIwasal r
eadyf astasleep...
WhenIwokeupt hefol
lowingmor ningIwasi nbed
:ohemusthav etakenmekemnt akadadcozIdon' t
rememberwalkingmy sel
fupher e.Ilookedaround
andhewasn'therebutIcouldsmel l hi
sshowergel
andIcouldheartheshowerwat ers.Myheadwas
heavythough:
/Igotof ft
hebedandmadei t,
opening
thewindowshecameoutl ooki
ngandsmel l
ingfresh
andhewasi nagoodmood

Hi
m:"
mor
ningbaby
"
Me:
"mor
ning"

Het r
iedkissingmeIduckedandwentt o
shower...
whenIcamebackhewasdr essed
al
ready,actuall
yfi
nishi
ngof
fphof
u.Istart
edget
ti
ng
dressedndi val
euml omowam

Hi
m:"
usaqumbi
l
e"
Cwaka
Hi
m:"
S'bongi
l
e"
Me:
"mh"
?
Hi
m:"
pleasenow"
Me:
"what
"?
Hi
m: "
canweatl eastt
alkaboutthis,
i
tssoear
lyi
nthe
morningIcan'
thaveyouinthiskindamood"
Me:
"whatki
ndamoodi
sthat
"

Hesi
ghedandj
ustwat
chedmeget
ti
ngdr
essed.
[
10/
9,19:
06]‪+27730692704‬:
#144

WhenIwasdoneIwentdownst ai
rswit
hmycl utch
andeverythinginitthenImademy sel
fcereal.
..
he
fol
lowed,
ashewasaboutt osaysomething
ndakhonyulukaandt rieduzibambabutIcouldn't:
'
(I
rantothebat hroom andpuked,moody am yafel
ay a
worsekengoku.Ir i
nsedmymout handwal kedback
downstai
rsIwasn' tgonnaeatt hatagai
n,It
ookouta
bananaandgr apesndat y
azona
Hi
m:"
lecer
eal
"?
Me:
"ungay
ity
anawe"

Het ookitandatei
t,
thesil
encewast oothi
ckbutI
wasn'tgonnabackdownany t
imesoon.Whenwe
werebothdoneIr i
nsedlabowl ebet
yel
akuyoand
walkedoutt ot
hecar,hef
ollowedandlockedt
henhe
gotinanddr ov
eust ochurch

Hi
m:"
I'
m sor
ry"

Igotoutandwal kedinside,
IsawVincehesmiledI
didn'
t.Ij
ustfoundaseatndahl al
a.Hecameandsat
nexttome,thesermonst ar
tedandyaqhubasanabut
asGodmayhav ei
t,
bythet imetheserv
icewasoutI
wasal otmor ecal
mert hanwhenwecamei n.
Okayfi
newewalkedout
,onebehi
ndt
heot
hert
othe
car
..
.west
oodnexttoi
t
Hi
m:"
babe"
Me:
"I
'm wai
ti
ngf
orVi
nce"
Hi
m:"
oh"

Afewmi nut
esthenVi
ncecameoutandwal
ked
towardsus,
Li
bhongowaschat
ti
ngwit
hagroupof
gir
ls.

Vi
nce:
"mol
weni
bhut
'"
Hi
m:"
shondoda"
Vi
nce:
"Tee.
..
I'
m sor
ryneh"
Me:
"f
ornt
oni
kany
ekany
e"
Vince:
"honestl
y?Idon'
tknowbutuhm..
.Iwoul
dn'
t
l
ikethi
sf r
iendshi
pofourstocausemoreharmto
anyoneofus"
Me:
"sol
uti
on"
?
Vi
nce:
"masivel
esiy'
yekent
wana,
buti
tsnotl
i
kewe'
l
l
betot
alst
rangersIpromi
seyou"
Il
ookedatNtando..
.hebet
ternothaveany
thi
ngto
dowitht
his.Li
bhongowalkedtowardsuswafi
ka
wemaakathetha

Vi
nce:
"heuhm,
hasnot
hingt
odowi
tht
his"
Me:
"Inev
erasked"
Libo:
"andIful
l
ysuppor
thi
sdeci
si
on,
Iexpecty
ouwi
l
l
tooTrina"
Me:
"ver
ywel
l
...
canwegohome"
?
Beast
:"
uhm,
sur
e"

Igoti
nthecar

..
.t
hedr i
vehomewasasi lentone.Itol
dmy sel
fnot
tosulkoverrubbi
sh.I
fVinceisconvincedt
hatwe
can'tbefri
endsthent
hat'
swhathe' sgonnaget.Bae
drovetoSpurandparkedsahlalasi
thecwaka
Hi
m:"
agai
n,
I'
m sor
ry"
Me:"
don'
t.
..
webot hknowyou'
renot,
yougotexact
ly
whatyouwantednowcanwepl easemoveon?Like
l
if
edoesn'
treall
yrevol
vear
oundthem"
Hi
m:"
oh-
kay
..
.l
et'
seat
"

Iopenedmydoorandwalkedoutt ot
hefranchi
se,
hecamebehindme.Awaitressshowedust hetabl
e
ndafi
kakuqal
a:vshecamebackt hethemenus

Hi
m:"
babymant
hissi
l
encei
ski
l
li
ngme"
Me:
"sor
ry"
Him:"nomandon'
tapol
ogi
zef
orwhaty
oudi
dn'
t
do,
justopenupt
ome"
Me:"
ri
ghtnowal
lIwannadoiseat,
gohome,bathand
sl
eep..
.may
beaf
terI
'v
esleptkendovukandir
ight
"
Hi
m:"
okay
..
.or
derke"
Hecal l
edthewai t
ressandheor deredsteakandr ibs
withthesides,
Ij
ustor der
edbuffalowingswi t
hf r
ied
onionsandchocol at
eshakesat yaandwhenwe
weredonehedr ov eushome.Ndaf i
kaendli
ni
ndakhulul
a..
.heranmeabubbl ebathwithsoot hi
ng
salt
sIsoakedmy selfandrel
axedforawhi l
ebef oreI
evenattemptedtobat h.WhenIwasdoneIwr apped
atowel ar
oundmybodyandwal kedoutt othe
bedroom

Me:
"andt
hen"
?
Him:"
ful
lbodymassage.
..
cour
tesyofy
ourbaby
daddy"
Me:
"oh"

Hehel dmyhandandl edmetobed:)Il

ayonmy
stomachwenzaadumengazouny anakaMaz'
khal
iI
turnedov erandhedidthesame,
whenhewasdone
heki ssedme^ _^cher
ryontop?
Heknowsexact
ly
howt
osmoot
hmedown.
..

Me:
"whydi
dIr
ecei
vesucht
reat
ment
"?
Him:
"Ir
eali
zedIhur
tyou,
yesIcan'
tundowhat
's
donebutIwantust
omov eon"
Me:
"speaki
ngofmov
ingon.
..
Ineedt
onap"
Hi
m:"
I'
ll
leav
eyout
oit
"

Heki
ssedmyfor
eheadandcoll
ectedhismassage
t
ool
sandlef
tmetosleep.
..Okondincumi
lekesana.

WhenIwokeupf rom mynapIgotdr essedandwent

downstair
sfikaebukel
eFastandFur i
ousIsatnext
tohim cozebesezophelasondaqondba
mandingamphazami si
,whenthemov ieendedIt
ook
bothhishandsont omineandlookedhimi nt
heeye

Hi
m:"
wha-
atsgoi
ngon"
?
Me:
"l
ook.
..Ineedt
oapol
ogi
ze"
Hi
m:"
forwant
ingt
okeepl
efr
iendshi
pyenu"
?
Me:
"noIwon'
tapol
ogizef
orthat
,Iwantt
oapol
ogi
ze
f
orhowIatt
emptedtoatt
endtothat"
Hi
m:"
ndi
conf
usedkebabe"
Me:"t
hingis,
I'
m notr eal
lygoodatmaki ngfr
iends
evenuVi ncewabal i
bhaqonj e,
soatt hethoughtof
l
osingtheonl yfr
iendIhav e,
Imi ghthavebeen
i
nconsiderateforami nutethere"
Hi
m:"
ohokay
"
Me:"
Iknowbengazot
handai
fwhathe'
sdoingyo
Li
boibi
senzi
wakum,andIpr
omiseIwi
llapol
ogi
ze
nakuLi
bo"
Hi
m:"
don'
t.
..
bay
ekengoku"
Me:
"usur
e"?
Hi
m:"y
eah.
..Hecametohissensessol
et'
sjusthope
t
hey'
l
lworkoutt
heirdi
ff
erences"
Me:
"kay
"
Hi
m:"
subadownbabyman,
youdi
dther
ightt
hing"
Me:
"f
oruLi
boy
es"
Hi
m:"
foral
lofus"

:
/likeIdon'
treal
lyunderstandbutkeItoldmy sel
f
I'
m notgonnaaskfurthermor e.Hebenthishead
downandki ssedmylips,hi
smout htast
edlike
chocolat
e,Ismil
edandpul ledbackinsurpri
se

Me:
"youwer
eeat
ingchocol
ate"
?
Him:"
erh.
..
yeah,
Iact
ual
l
yboughti
tfory
ouqhawabe
ungavuki
yabo"
Me:
"t
hat
'ssounl
i
key
ou,
butt
hanksal
ot"
Hi
m:"
oneoft
heTi
tusbr
atshasbeencal
l
ingy
ou"
Me:
"i
phi
phoney
am"
?
Hi
m:"
nant
si"

It
ooki
tandchecked-
_-Landi
l
emxm nday
ibekapha
Hi
m:"
wat
himxm"
Me:
"wenzai
scef
elo"
Hi
m:"
yourex"
Me:
"duh"
Hi
m:"mh.
..
awlobusi
babeIcan'
thav
ebeesbuzzi
ng
ar
oundyouoko"
Me:
"ndi
thi
nikemnacozIdon'
tcal
lem"
Him:"putt
hem i
ntheirpl
aces.
..
webot hknowof
tabl
eswer et
urnedyouwouldn'
tapproveofmyexes
call
i
ngmewhat ev
ertimetheywish,
excl
usiv
eoft
he
babymomma' s"
Me:
"not
ed"

Bekhenday i
tshokel
entobandi zoxelelwanoba
mandinfounelwengubaninini
ngoku. .buuuut,
thi
s
wasvalid.Tr
ue,Iwouldn'
tapprove,no,I
'dthr
owabawl
ndbel
igezaifibi
nguyeowenzal ento.

Me:
"Whatt
imey
out
aki
ngmehome"
Hi
m:"
awhambi
ngomso"
?
Me:
"andphet
hangampahl
a"
Him:"
khonal
aski
nnyj
eans,
youhav
eezi
plat
sort
he
sneaks"
Me:
"t
op?Vest
"?
Hi
m:"
that
'sanobv
iouschoi
ce"
Me:
"ha.
ababe"
Hi
m:"
ewebabe"

Okayf i
ne..
.Igotupandwentt ocooksupper .He's
doneenoughf oronedaysoIr eal
lyhadt ospoilhi
m
nam evenifkeitwon'
tbeasbi gasamassage.
WhenIwasdonecooki ngIdishedupf oruson
separateplat
es,
Imadehi m coffeeImademy sel
ftea
thenservedhim.Weat emaki ngconv ersat
ion,he
wastelli
ngmehowdi f
ficul
tIam topl easeblahbla
blah:
v

Hi
m:"
umakhul
ukaThandowannaseey
ou"
Me:
"yhu"
Hi
m:"
Itol
dhery
ouwoul
dsayt
hat
"
Me:
"nobabenotnow"
Him:"
she'
dli
ket
otakecar
eoft
hechi
l
doncehe'
s
born"
Me:
"Idon'
tmi
ndt
hat
"
Hi
m:"
cool
"

:
ozof i
kandi t
hinimhlandayombonaumamakhe?Oh
hayGod,kalokabantwanababelunguaren'
treal
l
y
KasiorruralevenifbangabaXhosabybir
th,
soze
zi
faneiiteachingssowhatiflomamadoesn't
approveofme?Yho!
[
10/
9,19:
07]‪+27730692704‬:
#145

Jongaumnt anakaFait
hakancamievha?Whil
eIwas
cuddli
ngnobaewat chi
ngamov iey
atshoIphone
andyabonwangubhut '
baesince
i
bingakuy
e,wandini
ka
Me:
"Landi
l
eTi
tus"
Hi
m:"
yho,
hiunj
ani
"?
Me:
"ndi
right
"
Hi
m: "
oh-kay..
.uhm,canwepl
easemeetWednesday
af
teryourlecture"
Me:
"why
"
Hi
m:"Ij
ustwannaseey
out
hat
'
sal
l
,may
begr
aba
bi
tewhil
eweatit"
Me:
"wel
landi
zobanachance"
Hi
m:"
ohcummonTee"
Me:
"I
'm ser
ious"
Him:
"pl
easeman,wewon'tgot oany
thi
ngf
ancyI
knowyoudon'
tl
ikethoseplaces"
Me:"
bhuti
,Idon'thav
et i
metogall
i
vantar
ound
Jo'
burgwit
hy ou.Uzothi
niubabe"
?
Hi
m:"
ohwoy
ikay
ena"
?
Me:
"wr
ongwor
d..
.t
hewor
dyou'
rel
ooki
ngf
ori
s
r
espect
"
Him:"
he'si
nCapeTownmosakazoy azi
..
.don'
tget
mewr ong,
i
tsnotl
ikesi
yay
'f
ihl
ait
sjusti
ntonje
betweenol
dfri
ends"
Me:"ukuqhat
hil
ekelonautheuseKapacoznanku
phambkwam. ..
anduhm,It
hinkyouneedtorecheck
wherewest andcozwewer eneverol
dfr
iends,
we
dated.Ladl
ulafut
hil
aphel
aeloxeshanowplease,
I'
m
beggingyou.Leavemealone.Pl
ease"
Him:
"ohkay
..
..
justagr
eet
oseei
ngme,
thenI
'
lll
eav
e
youal
one"
Me:
"Idon'
thav
eti
mef
ory
ou,
awuv
anah"
?
Him:"
haibofondi
n,
yint
oningathsizienemiesnow
ukudl
ulainy
okanesele,Iwon'tt
akemuchofy our
ti
menal omntuwakhowon'tnoti
ce,unlesskeuyi
le
ty
peelinday
oazokuthathanaseskolweni"
Me:
"ugqi
bil
e"?
Hi
m:"
notunt
ily
ouagr
eeont
his"
Me:
"noLandil
edon'tyouunder
stand?Idon'twanna
meetyou.
..
wait
,It
hinkIshoul
dsaythisi
ny ourhome
l
anguagemay beuzondi v
a.Landi l
e,
andifuniudibana
nawe.Notnow, notWednesdayandpr obablynot
ever
.Mov eon,getal i
fe,
getaj ob,wondleabantwana
bakhousave'l
enal oumenzi leyo.Pleaseyour
mom,justgoanddowhat everitisthatyoudoand
l
eavemeoutofi t.Forgetyouev ermetme, erasemy
nameoutofy ourmemor y.Okay ?"

ThenIhungup.
..
ndat
hul
a.

Hi
m:"
masol
ala"
Me:
"kuseear
ly"
Hi
m:"
skol
ongomso"
Me:
"hal
ftwel
ve"
Hi
m:"
oohm"

Sisabukel
enjal
oaunknownnumbercalledmebut
thisti
meitwasn'tonpr
ivat
e,myphonehavi
ngaCall
App,aft
erafewsecondsikhal
andiyi
j
ongil
eyav
elaba
ngubani

Me:
"Nel
i
sa"
Her
:"
hey
,howdi
dyouknow"
?
Me:
"Ij
ustdi
d,howcanIhel
pyou"

I
m sur
eNtandowaslooki
ngatme,qhandaqondbaI
won'
tgi
vehimthesat
isf
acti
onAbemoresuspici
ous
t
hanhealr
eadyis

Her
:"
Ineedaf
avor
,ur
ightkuqal
a"
Me:
"yeahI
'
m good,
ndakuv
anaweushar
p"
Her
:"
yeahI
'
m gr
eat
"
Me:
"f
avor
"?
Her:
"yeahuhm,f
ir
stl
yndcelaukuthi
enkosif
orwhat
youdidforuSi
no,iwenttovi
sitt
hem bandi
boni
sa
evey
thingyouboughtforher
"
Me:
"ohokay
,buty
oushoul
dthankherf
ather
,i
twas
al
lhi
m"
Her:
"iknowNtandolove,
anyway,
Iwannabuyher
ezi
nyeiimpahl
ajusttoaddkweziy
auzit
hengi
ley
o,but
ezi
war merthi
sti
me"
Me:
"oh-
kay
"
Her:
"thi
ngis,
Ntandotol
dhismot hert
onotallowme
nearhisdaught
er,
Iknowwhy .AndIalsoknowif
ndiy
ileshewil
ll
etmei nbutuNtandowi l
lknowabe
evutha"
Me:
"ndi
mamel
e"
Her:
"ndi
celaut humelel
awenalemalibendi
zothenga
ngayo,
umt hengeleandthenmaybeunikil
ekwau
Ntandobutzibengathizit
hengwenguwe,Icanev en
postezisendizit
hengil
eandsometoy sIpromised
her"
Me:"ohokay
,akhongxakil
etmecal
lyoungomsoand
I
'l
lsendyoufurtherdet
ail
skwangomso"
Her
:"
thanky
ou,
ver
ymuch"
Me:
"youwel
come"
Her
:"
goodni
ght
"
Me:
"ni
ght
"

Hi
m:'
'
nowuy
ichomi
noAnel
i
sa"
?
Me:
"no,
shej
ustneededaf
avor
"
Hi
m:"
whatf
avor
"
Me:
"haybabe"
Hi
m:"
Ihopey
'al
lar
en'
tschemi
ngbehi
ndmyback"
Me:"
don'twor
ryIwon'tbur
nyouali
ve,
andwemost
cer
tai
nlywon'
tabductuSinovha"
Hi
m:"
hm"

Isav
edl
anumbersabukel
aImov
iel
eandwentt
o
bed.

Wegoti
nbedandhewantedt
obebusyonhi
s
l
apt
opIwant
edtocuddl
e
Me:
"what
'ssoi
mpor
tant
"?
Him:"
Ihav
etobeupdat
edont
heday
sdeal
i
ngskal
ok
babe"
Me:"
cel
aul
i
ndendi
l
alekecozIwannacuddl
ewi
th
you"
Hi
m:"
heeemandoy
iswe"

Icuddleduponhi m,heusedhi sphonechecki ng

emai l
sunt ilIdosedof fthenIf elthim gett i
ngup
sl
owl y:)atleasthewai t
edt i
llIfellasleep.Iwokeup
againint hemi ddl eofthenightwi t
hahear tacheI
couldn'treallyexplain.
..
Ihadadr eam neh, butI
couldn'tsaywhatexact lydidIdr eam ofbutIwoke
upint ears,mypi ll
owwaswetandev enwhenIwas
awakeIwasst il
l cryi
ng.Thisfoet ushasn' teven
growny et,
kodwaIwashav i
ngt roubleswi th
moods, sleeping,eatingandmostcer tai
nly
expressingmy self:'
(li
kerightnowIwant edto
cry,
myhear twasj ustsooopai nfulbuti fIwoul dbe
askedwhyndi nj
enaIwoul dn'
tknowandbei ngwi t
h
thi
sguyI 'l
lbet ol
dI'
mj ustsear chingforatt
enti
on:/
notthatIbl amehim butt hishadabsol utel
ynothi
ng
todowi t
hat t
enti
on...Itwasanemot ional
roll
ercoasterthatIcoul dn'treall
yputapi non.Igot
outofbedandwentt owashmyf acendabuyaand
hewassi tt
inguptalkingont hephone, hekinda
stoppedt alki
ngwhenIwal kedi nthenresumedand
saidaf ewwor dsbef orehangi ngup.

Hi
m:"
youokay
"?
Me:
"yeah"
Hi
m:"
wer
eyoucr
ying"
?

Ishookmyheadandgoti nbed..
.Itur
nedmypi ll
ow
aroundandtriedsl
eeping.YesItossedandturned
throughoutt
henightbutIdideventual
lyf
all
sleep.
WhenIwokeup,IhadthisurgetocallhomesoI
cal
ledmom'sphonebutitwentst r
aighttovoi
cemai
l
soIcal
leddadbutthatwasinv ai
n,Ical
ledt
hehouse
phone,
thel
andl
inesti
llnoresponse.Iwenttobat
h
withanunsett
ledspiri
tlechapphofndivukei
ngekho
kwalaphaebhedini,
Ibathedandwentdownstai
rsI
neededcomfortfood: (myheartwasreall
y
tr
oubled.
..Whil
emaki ngmy sel
famegasandwi chI
tr
iedhomeagai n.
..AuntNandianswered:D

Her
:"
Smi
thr
esi
dencegoodmor
ning"
Me:
"mor
ningaunt
y,unj
ani
"?
Her
:"
heeyTr
inal
i
que,
itsbeenal
ongt
ime"
Me:"
Iknow,
hey,
uhm I'
vebeent
ryi
ngt
ocal
lmom and
dadbutnoonei
spicki
ng"
Her
:"
oohy
ouhav
en'
thear
d"?
Me:
"hav
en'
thear
dwhat
"?
Her:
"Ical
l
edy ourbrother
slastnight
,act
ual
l
year
ly
t
hismorningdidn'
ttheytel
lyou"?
Me:
"t
ell
mewhat
?What
'
sgoi
ngon?Wher
e'smom?
I
sdadokay
"?
Her
:"
okaycal
m down"
Me:
"oh-
kay
"
Her
:"
yourmom wasadmi
tt
edatLi
feHospi
tal
ear
li
er
t
o-"
Me:
"what
"?
Her
:"
shehadaheartat
tackmydear,I
'
m act
ual
l
yon
mywaytocheckonherrightnow"
Me:
"No!No!No!
!!
!!
!!How'
sdadkengok"
?
Her:
"hedoesn'
tknow.
.Iwi
llcal
lyouonceI
'
m att
he
hospit
almydearI'
mrunni
ngoutofti
me"
Me:
"ohokay
"
Her
:"
bye"

Ukuty
aokubendizokwenza?Idi
dn'
ttouchanyofit
..
.
Icoul
dn'
t.Ngqondoyam vel
eyenzaIshutdownand
myheartayaf
unantoatall!
[
10/
9,19:
07]‪+27730692704‬:
#146

Iwai
tedandwai
ted,
haynocal
l
.Ical
l
edEv
e
Her
:"
aunt
y"
Me:
"hey
,ar
egoi
ngt
ocampus"
?
Her
:"
naah,
Ij
ustwannal
azear
ound,
mybodyi
sheav
y
t
oday"
Me:
"okay
,canIj
oiny
ou"
?
Her
:"
nopr
obl
em baei
snotar
ound"
Me:
"okaygi
mmeaf
ewmi
nut
es,
Idon'
tknowwher
e
myownbaeis"
Her
:"
alr
ight
,I
'
llt
exty
out
headdr
ess"
Me:
"shar
p"

Iwenttogetdressedint
hatskinnyj
eanandv estne
sneakersandfi
xedmyhair.Icall
edl
obhuti:
/Ihada
feeli
ngOoMar cweren'
tpl
anningtotel
luscozEv e
didn'
tsoundli
kesomeonewhoknows

Hi
m:"
nkos'
kazi
"
Me:
"uhm,
uphi
"?
Hi
m:"
I'
m onmywayt
her
e"
Me:
"okay
"
Ihungupandwai ted..
.Thehungerbugsmashedme
agai
n,ndancamanday okunyanzel
aokwakutya
bendi
kwenzilehewalkedinxandiv
asaipl
ate

Hi
m:"
hey
"
Me:
"Ineedt
ogoseeEv
e,cel
aundi
se"
Hi
m:"
ever
ythi
ngal
ri
ght
"?
Me:
"yep"
Hi
m:"
okay
,masambe"

Igavehi
mt headdr
essandhedrovemet her
e
si
ncokol
anjeaphemotwenicozmymi ndwasi nEast
Londonnyhani
.Wereachedthepar
kinglot

Hi
m:"
shoul
dIwai
t"
?
Me:
"uhm no,
I
'l
lcal
lyou"
Hi
m:"
okay
"

Iki
ssedhim ndohl
ikawithbot
hmyphonesand
walkedt
othef l
at,
knockedandwaswel
comedbyan
eggandbaconsmel lonsomethi
ngchi
l
li
.

Shedishedupforbot
hofus,Ionl
yatethesausages
si
ncetheyweren'
tporkaf
tereati
ngsancokol
a
nj
e..
..
hayndazi
ncamaandt ol
dher

Me:
"uhm,
Eve"
Her
:"
sup"
Me:
"whenl
astdi
dyoucal
lhome"
Her
:"
erh.
..Idon'
tknow,
l
astmont
h"?
Me:
"well
Ical
ledthi
smorni
ngandAuntNandi
sai
d
mom hasbeenadmitt
edatLi
fe"
Her
:"
mom?Hospi
tal
?Nah,
shemustbemi
staken"
Me:
"she'
snot
,shecal
l
edourbr
other
swhohav
en'
t
t
oldusany
thi
ngasy
et"
Her
:"
oh.
..
whathappened"
Me:
"hear
tat
tack"

Shechokedonherf oodIhadtouhm gof etchwater

forher,
shedrankandI '
m surei
tonlydawnedonher
nowt hatwecouldloosemom.Icoul dn'ttel
lher
aboutdad,she'
dbeshat ter
edforr
eal.
..wesatt her
e
consoli
ngeachot herandsheactuall
ycried:o
unqabil
eumbonauEv eekhal
a.Whenwewer edone
sobbing,
weopt edtowat chamovieandhal fway
throughit.
..

Her
:"
don'
thav
eacl
ass"
?
Me:
"yeah,
hal
ftwel
ve"
Her
:"
ohwest
il
lhav
epl
ent
yoft
ime"
Me:
"Ineedt
onap.
..
justf
oranhourman"
Her:
"you'
regoi
ngt
ohav
eal
azyhugebaby
,don'
t
sl
eepsomuch"
Me:
"who'
shav
ingababy
?Doy
ouseeababyher
e"?

Lol
shecr
ackedup:
v:v

Her:
"soputt
ingthi
sissueasi
de,
how'
syour
r
elat
ionshi
pgoing"?
Me:
"smoot
hIt
hink.
..
"
Her
:"
you'
renotsur
e"?
Me: "
Idon'tknowhey ,he'
sgreat,
he
l
istens,cuddl
es,cooks,massages.
..Hedoes
everythinggreat"
Her
:"
but
"?
Me:"
Iont heot
herhandi
sbroody
,sensi
ti
ve,
i
ndecisi
veandhottemper
ed"
Her
:"
wel
comet
opr
egnancy
"
Me:"
noman,thi
shasnot
hingt
odowi
thpr
egnancy
.I
t
hinkIneedhel
p"
Her
:"
youmeanashr
ink"
?
Me:
"Idon'
tknow.
..
may
be"
Her:
"nope,
youneedt
ovisi
tKer
iandJoef
oraweek
you'
l
l r
etur
nanewperson"

Yhoandayihl
eka:vl
ikeJoeistheemostquiet
personandKerial
way sseesgoodeveninthewor
st
si
tuati
onhowt hehell
willIf
indmysel
fther
e?Hayiza
bawo!Umnt uwam call
ed

Me:
"bhut
'Nt
ando"
Hi
m:"
myl
ove,
thi
shousei
ssoempt
y"
Me:
"apar
tmentbabe,
notahouse"
Hi
m:"
samedi
ff
erence"
Me:
"nowthaty
oucal
ledpl
scomefet
chmeby12: 15
i
tsafi
ft
eenminut
esdri
vet
ocampusfrom her
e"
Hi
m:"
I'
llf
etchy
ouby12andspendt
he15mi
nut
es
wi
thyou"
Me:
"youspentt
hewhol
eweekendwi
thme,
awdi
kwa"
?
Hi
m:"
erh.
..
no"
Me:"
yeahwhatev
er,
andplsbri
ngmybagi
tsi
nyour
cl
osetwit
hthr
eebooksinsi
de"
Hi
m:"
yesma'
am"
Me:
"t
hanks"
Hi
m:"
Ilov
eyoumamakaNt
andoJr"
Me:
"l
ovey
out
oobabe"
Hi
m:"
hol
l
eratay
ourcr
azysi
ster
"
Me:
"hahawai
t.
..Ev
e"?
Her
:"
yeah"
Me:
"babysay
sImusthol
l
eratmyCRAZYsi
ster
"

Hahahayhowamthukakanj
anuEve?Hewasi
n
st
it
chesontheot
herendofthel
i
ne

Hi
m:"
see?She'
scr
azy
"
Me:
"yhoawmazuEv
ewena"
Hi
m:"
byeby
euy
and'
t
hukal
omnt
u"
Me:
"by
eby
e".
[
10/
9,19:
08]‪+27730692704‬:
#147

Hecamet ofet
chme,wewentt
osomeeat er
ybefor
e
Iwenttocl
ass,
bythr
eeIwasal
readyoutand
headi
nghome.Nandical
l
edandtoldmemom was
i
nacommaandy eahweli
vedi
npr ay
ersdai
l
y..
.

THREEWEEKSLATER

Weal lwenthome,t
hecancerspecial
istcame
throughsoMarccameupwi thanexcuset otake
dadt oCapeTownandheobl i
gedsoIwasl ef
twith
Ev eanNathanwegaveauntNandi timeoff.
..
thi
s
wasf amil
ytimeandweneededsomet i
mealoneas
familyewesheknowsalloursecretsbutnow,she
alsoneededabreak.
Sothi
sdaywewer ewaitingforKer
itocome
home,
Lukewenttofetchherf r
om herhouseasthey
sai
dweneededt ohaveaf amil
ymeet i
ngwhil
edad
wasundert
reatmenti
nt hecapeandt omysurpri
se,
Ker
iandEvedidn'
tknowany thi
ngaboutdadbeing
si
ck:/

Wesatar
oundt
hedi
nnert
abl
eint
hisf
ami
l
ymeet
ing

Mar
c:"
okaysowe' real
l her
e..
.asweallknow, mom i
s
i
nacrit
icalcondi
ti
onrightnowt hedoctorsare
wai
ti
ngf ormysignat
uresot heycantransferhert
o
t
heCapef oraheartoperat
ion"
Ker
i:
"i
tst
hatbad"
?
Mar
c:"
yeahbutt
her
e'smor
e"
Ev
e:"
mor
e"?
Marc:"
ther
e'ssomethi
ngwehav en'tr
eall
ydisclosed
becausewewer enotful
lyi
nformedabouti t
,and
whenweev entual
l
ywer eIcal
ledinafewf avorsjust
totr
yandgetasecondopi ni
onr egar
dingthemat ter
"
Ev
e:"
okaynowpl
sgett
othepoi
nt"
Luu:
"Ev
ely
n"
-
cwaka-
Marc:"
whatI'
m aboutt
osay.
..
I'
l
lneedpeopl
ewitha
backboneandtheabil
i
tyt
ostomachitwit
hbrev
ity
"
Ker
i:
"we'
real
lear
s"
Mar
c:"
dadi
snotonhol
i
day
"
Ev
e:"
he'
snot
"?
Ker
i:
"wher
eishe"
?

Mar
cusl
ookedatLuke

Luu:
"he'
sinCapeTown.
..Under
goi
ngat
reat
ment
"
Ker
i:
"whatt
reat
mentLuu"
?
Marc:"
dadwasdiagnosedwi t
hcancer.
..
lungcancerI
thi
nkandithasspreadsomuchdoct or
satLife
confi
rmedthatt
here'snot
hingmorethatcanbe
done"
-
cwaka-

Luu:
"butwemanagedtof i
ndaspeci ali
standwe
fl
ewhimi n.
..
hei
snotgiv
ingusany thingdiff
erent
fr
om whattheot
herdoctorssai
d,butitsworthatry"
Ker
i:
"howlongdidyouknowaboutt
hisandy
ou
di
dn'
tevenbothert
ell
ingus"
?
Marc:"
mom di
dn'
twannatel
lusindi
vi
dual
lyshe
wantedtowai
tti
l
lwegatherher
ebutherheartf
ail
ed
her
"

Emv akokokwathicwaka..
.whenIl
ookedatEv eI
sawt ear
str
icki
ngdownherpi nkcheeksandakwazi
uzi
bambanam Icr i
ed..
all
ofusdidbesidesthemen
amongus.Ker i
mov edandcamet ositwit
h
us,
huggingusyhohaikesalil
amore.Whenwehad
cri
edenoughweal lwenttothehospit
alsothatwe
couldseeherbefor
eshef l
iestoCapeTown.
Mar cdr oveust ot hehospi t
alandWhenwer eached
thehospi talhegav emehi sphonesandcarkey sto
hold,whenwer eachedthewar dtobeexact ,mnt aka
dadi twaspai nful.Icoul
dn' twalki n,
Ist
oodbyt he
doorwhi l
eev ery onewalkedi n..
.t
hesoundf r
om t he
l
ifesuppor tmachi nesstifledmyf eetwouldn'tletme
walki n.Iwal kedbackt ot hecar ,
justasIgoti n,Ev e
fol
lowedsahl al
aphasal ilasadinwaIwi pedmyt ears
whenIhear dmyphoner ingingandl ookedatt he
call
er,itcheer edmyhear tbutitdidn'terasethepai n

Me:
"babe"
Hi
m:"
hey
,you'
recr
ying"
Me:
"no"
Hi
m:"
babyIknowy
ou'
vebeencr
ying"
Me:"noI(
ateardr
opped)Iwasn'
t(sni
ff
)ser
ious
babe"

Iwi
pedmyunwelcometear
sandcoughed,
justt
o
cl
earmyv
oice.
..
Isooobadl
yneededhi
m herebut
thist
imehewasn'tjustawayhewasoceansaway
from meandther
e'snothingmucht
hathecoul
d
possibl
ydoekudeelahlobo.

Hi
m:"
unj
ani
"?
Me:
"I
'm gr
eat
,you"
?
Hi
m:"
enj
oyi
ngt
hehol
i
day
s"?
Me:
"yeah"
Hi
m:"
Ihopey
ou'
ref
eedi
ngmysonv
erywel
l
"
Me:"
don'
tworr
yabouther
,she'
smommasbaby
of
cozI'
ll
feedher
"
Him:
"i
fyou'
renotcryi
ngthenyoumusthav
efl
uor
somethi
ng,
Idon'
tli
keyourvoi
ce"
Me:
"erh.
..
I'
l
lprobabl
ybefi
nelat
eronbabedon'
t
wor
ry.Howi sthedeal
comingal
ong"
?
Him:"
welli
tssti
l
learl
ydays,
I
'l
lhav
enewsmay
beby
nextweekorthefol
l
owingweek"
Me:
"oohokay
,goodl
uck"
Hi
m:"
thanky
ou.
..
Ineedaf
avor
"
Me:
"shoot
"
Him:"
mom call
ed,
theyranoutoffoodIdon'
tknow
howcozwhenIwentt odropoffOwentandoIlef
t
them wi
thenoughmoney "
Me:
"soshoul
dIt
ransf
ert
hem t
hemoney
"?
Him:"uhm no,
I'
l
ltransfermoneythemoneyi nt
oy our
account.Wheny ouhav eachanceplsgobuyt hem
thegroceri
escoznowI '
m notevensuretheybought
anythingqhaIcan'treal
lysaybayenzeni
imali
"
Me:
"me?Hai
bobabe.Ican'
tdot
hat
"
Hi
m:"
pls..
.I'
ll
forwar
dyournumbert
ooneofmyguy
s
t
henhe'l
ltakethegr
ocer
ieshome"
Me:
"yhoNt
ando"
Hi
m:"
ndakcel
ababe"
Me:
"okayf
ine"
Hi
m:"
enkosi
lov
e"
Me:
"zol
i
ndakuweke"
Hi
m:"
alr
ight
,hav
eagoodday
"
Me:
"nawe"

Wehungup.
..Ical
l
edAnel
i
sa

Her
:"
Tee"
Me:
"heyuhm,y
ousai
dyouwant
edt
ogi
vesomest
uff
t
oyourkid"
Her
:"
uhy
es,
you'
regoi
ngt
odoi
t"
?
Me:
"yes"
Her:
"ohthankyou..
.wherecanIpostt
heother
sto?
ThenI'
ll
dot hecashtransf
erri
ghtnow"?
Me:"Ial
readytext
edyoumybankdetail
s,postthe
resttoEastLondonpostof
fi
ce,
ref
erenceTrinali
que
Smi t
h"
Her
:"
you'
reast
ar.Iowey
ouf
ort
his"
Me:
"j
ustmakei
thappent
odaysobyt
omor
rowor
t
hedayaft
ert
hey'
l
lbeher
e"
Her
:"okayI
'
mr i
ghtont
opofi
t,
yhoundi
ncedi
l
e
mntanomntu"
Me:
"ay
tshar
p"
Her
:"
shar
pCc"

Ihungupandwesati nthatsi
lence.
..Wel
lifIwas
goingshoppi
nghere,
Iwassuregonnadoi twithEv
e.
Webot hneededt
hecheeringup.

Her
:"
youokay
"
Me:
"Ihav
eto.
..
can'
tupsett
hebabyr
ight
"?
Shesmi
l
ed
Her
:"
yeah.
..
howi
she"
?
Me:
"he'
sgood,
heknowsI
'
vebeencr
ying"
Her
:"
whydi
dn'
tyouj
ustt
ell
him"
?
Me:
"It
hinkheknowsever
ythi
ng.
..
andt
her
e'snot
muchhecandof r
om wher
eheis"
Her
:"
mor
alsuppor
t"
Me:
"mh,
heaskedmet
odoshoppi
ngf
orhi
sFAM
t
hough"

Shel
aughed:
v

Her
:"
when"
?
Me:
"hesai
dwhenev
erIgetachance"
Her
:"
whenar
eyoupl
anni
ngt
odoi
t"
?
Me:
"may
bet
omor
rowort
hedayaf
ter
"
Her:
"doi
tthedayafter,
Marcwil
lbegone.
.Ihear
d
hi
m earl
i
ertodayt
alkingtoLi
z"
Me:
"you'
l
lgowi
thme,
ri
ght
"?
Her
:"
ify
ouwantmet
o"
Me:
"of
coz,
Ineedy
ourexper
tadv
iceMr
sRoy
alt
y"

Atleastwewereablet
olaughagai
n..
eveninthe
midstofthi
ssadnesst
hatseemstohav eenv
eloped
ourfamil
y.
[
10/
9,19:
09]‪+27730692704‬:
#148

Theot hersi bli

ngsr eturnedandweheadedhome, no
conver sati
onwhat soev er.Whenwer eachedhome
weeachwentt oourr oomsandshutt hewhol e
wor l
dout ...
thisenvironmentwasdepr essingIswear.
We'venev erbeeni nsuchast atebefor e,
homei sthat
onepl aceweal way smi ssedwhent hingswer en'
t
goingwel l butnowhomebecamet hatonepl aceI
couldn'tstayi n,
itwassuf focati
ng...I
tsnotev ena
homewi thoutmom anddad.Remember ingthat
wher ebaei s,
kusebusukusoi fhe'sonal egit
businesst ripheshoul dbeasl eep: /may be,Idon't
know, butIcal l
edhi m nonet heless..
.
I
ttookacoupl
eofr
ingsbef
orehepi
ckedup

Hi
m:"
Mrs"
Me:
"am Idi
stur
bing"
?
Hi
m:"
no,
notatal
l
..
.t
alkt
ome"
Me:
"Ij
ustwant
edt
oheary
ourv
oice"
Hi
m:"y
ourvoi
cei
slowert
hanear
li
er.
..
somet
hingi
s
r
eal
lygoi
ngon"
Me:
"Imi
ssy
oubabe"
Hi
m:"
ndani
khumbul
anam babe"
Me:
"can'
tyoubebackbyChr
ist
mas"
?
Hi
m:"
Idon'
tknownana,
utheni
thet
hanam"
Me:
"t
hingsar
e..
.Idon'
tknow,
j
ust
..
."

Ibr
okedown..
.ha.
athi
swastoomuchtohandle.
.or
maybebenf
ikel
wekufeket
haandazi
kemtchanam

Hewai
tedi
nsil
ence.
..
thenIcol
l
ect
edmysel
fand
cal
meddown,
blewmynoseandwipedmyface

Me:
"I
'm sor
ry"
Hi
m:"ugr
andngoku"
Inod:vf
orasecondIf
orgott
hathe'
snoti
nfrontof
me..
.heact
ual
l
ydidn'
tl
aughli
kehewouldusual
lydo
Hi
m:"
Idon'
tl
ikeseei
ngnorhearingyoucr
y,i
tbr
eaks
myhear
tworsether
e'snot
hingIcandofr
om whereI
am"
Me:
"nobabedon'
twor
ryI
'
llbef
ine"
Hi
m:"
yousur
e"?
Me:
"yes,
dowhat
every
ou'
redoi
ngmnandi
zobar
ight
"
Hi
m:"
Ineedt
oknowwhatupsety
ou"
Me:
"haymansust
ress'
aIpr
omi
seI
'
llbef
ine"
Hi
m:"
S'bongi
l
e"
Me:"okayfi
ne,mom hadaheartattack,
dadhas
canceranditsfat
al.
..
Iontheotherhandam
pregnantandcan'tt
ellanyoft
hem asy et
"
Him:"
ohthat,
didPol
omanaget
ogethol
doft
hat
speci
ali
st"
Me:
"yeah,
wai
t,
youknewaboutt
his"
?
Hi
m:"
yeah.
..
het
oldme"
Me:
"oh"
Him:
"l
ook,Ican'
treal
l
ymeddl ei
nfami
l
yst
uffbutI
cansur
elyhelpwhereverIcan"
Me:
"t
hanks.
..
Iuhm,
hav
etogo"
Hi
m:"
wher
eto"
?
Me:
"weneedt
orestf
orawhi
l
e"
Him:
"okay
,I
'l
lcal
ly'
al
lbef
oreni
l
alecozndi
zobe
ndi
vukamna"
Me:
"wel
ovey
ou"
Hi
m:"
Ilov
eal
lofy
ou.
..
Itr
ansf
eredt
hemoney
"
Me:
"Ihav
en'
tcheckedmysecondphoney
et"
Hi
m:"
sur
e,by
enow"
Me:
"by
ebabe"

Aft
erhangingupIr
eallypull
edacoverovermy
head.
..Idr
ownedmy selfi
nthisdeepr
elaxi
ngsl
eep.

Wokeupsti
llf
eeli
ngnumbandt
ir
ed.
..Cal
l
edSoso
maybehecouldcheermeup
Hi
m:"
prev
iousMr
sTi
tus"
:
v
Me:
"Lwandi
sounj
ani
"
Hi
m:"
I'
m gr
eat
,can'
tsayt
hesameabouty
out
hough"
Me:
"I
'mj
ustsuf
fer
ingf
rom f
ati
guet
hat
'sal
l
"
Hi
m:"
youneedt
hebeach.
..
pit
yyou'
rei
nJo'
bur
g"
Me:
"I
'mi
nEL"
Hi
m:'
you'
reki
ddi
ng,
comegetup.I
'
llt
akey
ouf
ora
wal
k"
Me:
"you'
rehomet
oo"
?
Him:"
duh!Wit
hmom whowoul
dn'
tcomehomeona
Decemberhol
iday
"?
Me:
"Idon'
tfeel
li
kebei
ngout
side"
Him:
"you'
lldieofdepr
essi
oni
nthatr
oom of
your
s..
.I
'
llpickyouupin15mi
nutest
ops"
Me:"
oh-kay
..
.imustwar
nyouSoso,
I
'm notr
eal
l
y
goodcompanythough"
Him:"
don'
twor
ryi
t'
l
lonl
ybethet
woofus...
andi
fyou
feel
li
keI'
mtoomuchupiny
ourspace,
I
'l
lj
ustwal
k
behi
ndyou"
Me:
"deal
"

ThenIhungupandchangedi ntoami nisummer

dressandsandal s.
..KnowingthatIhavepeople
guar dingmeIhadt otel
lbaebandi yaphiespecial
l
y
sincei tswithaguy
,hi
sguyswon' tunderstandthat
there'snothinggoi
ngonbet weenmnanoSososoI
textedhi m andwai
tedforSoso...
wafikashame
umnt anabantuandtookmef orthewal konthe
beach.
wejustwalkedforsometimesil
ence.
..
Ist
arted
walki
ngt osomerocksandremovedmyshoessoI
cancli
mbem properlyndahl
alaontopandlookedat
theharbor

him:"
theysaylookingatthef
arendoft
heocean
helpsyoucalmy ournerv
esandrel
ocat
esyour
thoughts"
Ismi
l
edandl
ookedahead.
..

me:
"whatam Il
ooki
ngf
or"
?
hi
m:"
justl
ook.
..
thi
nkofhowbeautif
ult
hisi
s,whydi
d
Godcreat
eit
?wheredoesitend?doesi
tevenend"
?

l
ol okaysoasskepti
calasIwas...
Itr
iedi
tout.The
mor eyoufocusonthesequesti
onsandinterests
uveleubeblankedoutaboutyourownissues..
.i
t
helpskenyhani.
[
10/
9,19:
10]‪+27730692704‬:
#149

Wespentaboutanhourormor
eevenj
ustsi
tt
ingi
n
si
lencebutIwasmorecal
mert
hanwhenIcame
here

Hi
m:"
shoul
dIask"
Me:
"no,
j
ustsi
ther
eandbequi
et"
Hi
m:"
yesma'
am"

Wesatdowni
nsi
l
ence.
..Ev
ecal
l
ed

Me:
"mommy
"
Her
:"
Booboowant
shi
saunt
y"
Me:
"t
ell
him aunt
yisatt
hebeach"
Her
:"
arey
ouf
orr
eal
"
Me:
"yeah"
Her
:"
whoahokay
..
.whenwi
l
lyoubeback"
?
Me:
"Idon'
tknow.
..
Ithi
nkIki
ndal
i
kei
ther
e"
Her:
"youknowr
unni
ngawaywon'
tchangeany
thi
ng
r
ight
"?
Me:
"Ij
ustneedf
reshai
rbabe"
Her
:"
okay
,seey
ou"
Me:
"seey
ou"
Ihungupandt
urnedt
oSoso

Me:
"I
'dl
i
ket
ohav
eani
cecr
eam pl
s"
Hi
m:"
ohkay
,l
et'
stakeawal
ktoWi
mpy
"
Me:
"uhm.
..
I'
dli
keey
akwaMcDi
fpossi
ble"
Hi
m:"
we'
l
lhav
etodr
ive.
..
come"

Wewal kedtohiscarandhedroveustoMcDonal d'

s
rest
aurantIsatdownandwaitedashewentt o
order
,hecamebackwi thtwochi
ckenwr apsand
sodasahlal
aandhest art
edeati
ng.
..
Ijustwatched
him

Hi
m:"
younoteat
ing"
?
Me:
"Iwant
edani
cecr
eam notf
ood"
Him:
"Iknow,
butI
'l
lonl
ybuyyouanicecr
eam whenI
knowforsur
eitwon'
tlandonanemptyst
omach"
Me:
"hai
boSosoIat
eekhay
a"
Hi
m:"
Idon'
tknowaboutt
hat
"

Isul
kedandstart
edeat ingt
histhi
ngsoslowI
wantedhi
mt ofi
nishf i
rstat
hengeleway
ndiy
funay
o..
.Idon'tknowwhy ,
may beheonlygotthe
messageIsenthim nowbutkewhenIwashal fway
thr
oughthewrap,
umnt uwam cal l
ed.Il
ookedat
Sosohelookedatmeandt henatthephone

Hi
m:"
yourboy
fri
end"
?

Inod

Hi
m:"
oh,
IhopeIdon'
tgety
oui
ntr
oubl
e"
Me:
"uhm.
..
Idoubt
.Gi
mmeasec.
..Babe"
?
Hi
m:"
mmmhy
ousoundbet
ter
"
Me:
"wel
lIt
oldy
ouI
'
llbebet
ter
"
Hi
m:"
thankst
otheTi
tusbr
atIguess"
Me:
"ohcummonnow,
stopt
hat
"
Hi
m:"
Idon'
tl
iket
hem"
Me:
"not
ed"
Him:
"butI
'
vegottasayI
'm gl
adhe'
sabl
etomake
youf
eelbett
er,
somethi
ngIcan'
tdoatt
hemoment"
Me:
"wai
t,
you'
rei
nsecur
e"?
Hi
m:"
hai
kengok"
Me:
"soundedl
i
ket
hatkal
okbabe"
Hi
m:"
niphi
ngok"
?
Me:
"atMcDonal
d'
s.
..IneededaMcFl
urr
y"
Hi
m:"
mmhkay
,enj
oy"
Me:
"l
ovey
ou"
Hi
m:"
lov
eyoumor
e"

Hehungup. .
.Iputt
hephonedownandcont i
nued
eati
ng.Sosoethecwaka,
Iwantedtotel
lhimI'
m
pregnantcozhe'
sthecl
osestpersonIknowof
besidesfamil
ysinceVi nceisnol
ongerall
owedt obe
myf ri
endbutIwasscar edofhowhewouldr eact.
Whenwewer edoneheboughtmet heMcFl urr
yy e
Oreoandboughthi msel feyeCar
amelthenwe
walkedtohiscar..
.Idecidednott
otel
lhimy et,i
ts
sti
llear
lydays.Hedr ovemehome

Me:
"enkosi
"
Hi
m:"
any
time"
Me:
"don'
tsayt
hat
,y
ou'
l
lregr
eti
t"

Hechuckl
ed

Hi
m:"nev
er,
Imeani
t.Call
meany
timey
ouf
eel
li
ke
t
alki
ngorli
ket
oday
,walki
ng"
Me:
"andst
ari
ngatt
hesea"

WelaughedandhuggedasIgotoutofhi
scar
wal
kedinsi
demyhome.
WhenIwal
kedi
nMar
cwasi
nthel
ounge

Me:
"hi
"
Hi
m:"
heeey
,youl
ookbet
ter
"
Me:
"f
eel
bet
tert
oo"
Hi
m:"
sot
hatmeansy
ou'
l
lcookdi
nner
"?
Me:
"absol
utel
y,whatdoy
ouwannaeat
"?
Hi
m:"anyoft
hosef
arm meal
syouanddadusedt
o
make"
Me:"ooooh.
..Wel
l
,theeasi
esti
sthedumpl
i
ngsand
beefstewBUTwedon' thavedough"
Hi
m:"
we'
l
lbuyi
tatSpar
"
Me:
"okay
,l
emmest
art
"

Iwenttothekit
chenanddefr
ost
edbonedbeef,
alot.
Marcuscaneat:othatguy
?Yho!Ipeel
edal
lthe
veget
able,Ev
ecamedownwi thBoobooandKeri
's
chi
l
d

Her
:"
lookwho'
sback"

Idroppedev
ery
thi
ngandwentt
oki
sst
heboy
sthenI
resumedtowhatIwasdoi
ng

Her
:"
whatar
ewecooki
ng"
?
Me:
"beefdumpl
i
ngs"
Her
:"
mmmh,
butt
her
e'snof
lourher
e"
Me:
"yourbr
othersai
dwe'
l
lbuyr
eadymadedough"
Her
:"
that
'stheCapeTownl
i
feI
'
mtel
l
ingy
ou,
l
etus
l
eaveyouinheat
"
Me:
"what
ever
"

Theywenttoj
oinMarcandIcont
inuedt
ocook.Ker
i
cametohelpme,whenLuucameoutofhisroom
Marcsenthi
mtogoandbuyt hedoughatSparI
off
eredt
otagal
ongndahambal
eav
ingt
hepott
o
Keri
.Onourwayt
her
esancokol
ake

Hi
m:"
how'
sthel
i
ttl
eonedoi
ng"
?
Me:"
erhm.
..
I'
m notev
ensur
ether
e'ssomet
hingi
n
her
e"
Hi
m:"
it
sst
il
lear
lyday
s,gi
vehi
mti
me"
Me:
"her
"
Hi
m:"
youwantagi
rl
"?
Me:
"yes,
wehav
eenoughboy
sher
e"
Hi
m:"
mh,
Idoubty
ourmanagr
eeswi
thy
ouont
hat
"
Me:
"wel
lhe'
snotcar
ryi
ngher
,Iam"
Hi
m:"
sohav
eyout
oldt
hef
olksy
et"
?
Me:
"no,
Idon'
tpl
ant
o.Theyneedt
orecov
erf
ir
st"
Hi
m:"
Iagr
ee.
..Butar
eyoucopi
ng"
?
Me:"
I'
mt r
yinghey,
i
tsnotaneasyt
hingbutweal
l
hav
et obeStrong"
Hi
m:"
youknowI
'
m her
eify
ouwannat
alk"
Me:
"andi
fIwannal
ashout
"?
Hi
m:"
not
hatwi
l
lhav
etowai
tfory
ourboy
fri
end"

:
v

Wer eachedsparandwentt obuythi

sthi
ng,
he
boughtmebi scui
ts:palotofthem t
henwebought
gummi ebearsforthet
oddlersandheadedhome.
[
10/
9,19:
10]‪+27730692704‬:
#150

Onourr eturnIf inishedof fmymeal andlateron

whenev er y
onewasgat heredinthediningar eaI
dishedoutont ot helargecasser ol
edishandputi t
ont hemi ddleoft hetablewher eeveryonecanser ve
themsel vesgqi bakwam Imademy selfherbal t
ea
ndaqal angay omadesur ewat erwasboi l
ingi nthe
kitchenf ormyl astser veoft eafort
heday .
..
helps
withner ves: Dweat echattingandremember i
ngthe
goodt imeswehadi nthishouseandof cozthey
shar edwi thust hebadt imest heyhadwhi l
ewewer e
st
il
ldumbandy
oung.
.
Ourphonesar enotwel l
manner edke
zancanywa,kwaqalaekaPoloakaSecondi n
Commandmnt akabawo: vsabonangayesetsiba
andshutt hedoorbehindhimt henJoecal
ledhi s
wifehaikesheleftwi
thherf oodandwenttof i
nish
offinherbedroom,Evefoll
owedsajongananoLuu

Me:"
Iwonderwhi
choneofy
ourmodel
sisgonnacal
l
you"
Hi
m:"
Iwannat
ell
yousomet
hing"
Me:
"oh,
you'
rebuyi
nganewcar
?Or
,you'
regoi
ngt
o
Mumbaiforgood"
Him:"hahahanoman,butuhm,i
tisqui
teas
seri
ous...
andyou'
l
lhavetokeepittoy
oursel
f"
Me:
"I
'm notgoodwi
thsecr
ets"
Hei
m:"
youkeptmom anddadsv
erywel
l
"
Me:
"okayoutwi
thi
t”
Hi
m:"
oh-
kay
..
.Iuhm.
..It
hinkIwannagetmar
ri
ed"
Myearsal
mosttur
nedbacksi
defr
ont
!LukeSmi
th?
Tal
ki
ngmarri
age?Hayngekhe!

Hi
m:"
you'
reshocked,
Iunder
stand"
Me:
"why
"?
Him:"
Ireal
i
zedt hatIam atast
agei
nmyl
i
fewher
eI
needstabi
li
ty"
Me:
"Icanhel
pyouwi
tht
hat
"
Hi
m:"
Iknowandtrustyouwoul
d,but
,I
'
m agr
own
manandIt
hinki
tstime"
Me:
"i
sthi
sbecausemom anddadar
enotwel
l
"?
Hi
m:"
par
tl
y"
Me:
"Iunder
stand"
Hi
m:"souhm,i
fitspossi
bleI
'dl
i
keustogotoJo'
bur
g
al
onesothatI'
l
lint
roduceyout
oherandyou'
l
lgi
ve
meyouropini
on"
Me:
"ohshe'
sal
readyi
nthepi
ctur
e"?
Hi
m:"
it
sbeent
hreey
ear
snow"
Me:"
andwenev erknewher?Heeeeh!Youonl
y
i
ntr
oducedthoseskanksl
ikeVelatousandnott
he
mainandrealone"
?

Kudl
ali
wengabant
wanababant
u:v:
v:v

Hi
m:"
shewantedtobeint
roduced.
..
any
way
,souhm,
ev
enMarcdoesn'
tknowokay"
Me:
"yessi
r.
.quest
ion"
Hi
m:"
ask"
Me:
"nott
hatI
'
mraci
stbut
,whatr
acei
sshe"
?
Hi
m:"
she'
sli
key
ou"
Me:
"Xhosa"
?
Him:"y
es,we'
v ebeenworki
ngtoget
herf
orfi
ve
years,
datedforthepastt
hreeandnowIthi
nkwe'
re
bothreadytosettl
edown"
Me:
"wel
lhav
eyour
esear
chedaboutourcul
tur
e
whenyouwanttotakeabl
ackwi
fe?I
tsnotas
si
mpleasyourcul
ture"
Him:"
yeahIknow..
.YouknowIpai
dlobol
alasty
ear
becauseIdi
dn'twanthert
othi
nkI
'
m wasti
ngher
ti
me"
Me:"
heeee!
!!Youmeany
ou'
remar
ri
edal
ready
??Luu
na-
naaa"

Webur
stoutl
aughi
ng.
..Mar
cuswaphuma

Hi
m:"
what
'swi
tht
henoi
se"
?
Me:
"sor
ry"
Luu:
"gobackt
osl
eep"

Hereal
lyreturnedtohisroom andlockedit:vLuu
hel
pedmecol l
ectthedishesandwewashedt hem
si
sagqibezel
ai ncokoyethuandsotheagr eement
wasthatwer eturntoJo'bur
gthesamet imei f
possi
blesot hathecanar r
angeformet omeett hi
s
speci
all
ady
.

Whenwewer edoneIwentt obed,hewenttothe

l
ounge.Itook.Quickshowerandwor emyPJs
ndangenaezingubenindalal
a..
.If
irstcal
l
edSoso
j
usttothankhim cozher eal
lyhel
pedme

Hi
m:"
sisi
"
Me:
"t
hanky
ou,
onceagai
n"
Hi
m:"
youknowhowy
oucanr
eal
l
ythankme"
?
Me:
"how"
?
Him:
"i
fyoujoi
nmef
orbr
eakf
astt
omor
rowmor
ning
atWi
mpy "
Me:
"whatt
ime"
?
Hi
m:"
I'
ll
picky
ouupatni
ne"
Me:
"okaykeshap"
Hi
m:"
goodni
ght
"
Ihungupandr
eal
l
ysl
ept
.Pastt
wel
vewaf
ounaut
ata
kaSino

Me:
"mmh"
Hi
m:"
khani
vukekal
ok"
Me:
"babebanxesha"
Hi
m:"
andi
yaz"
Me:
"hm.
mhkal
okbul
elewena"
Hi
m:"
uzondf
ounel
aov
ukakwakho"
?
Me:
"ewe"
Hi
m:"
lal
ekamnandi
ke"
Me:
"ni
ght
"

Idi
dn'tev
enhangup,ifuphindewathethaI '
m sorr
y
shameandimvangav elezayastr
aight
.WhenIwoke
upItookmyt i
me,st
retchingandjustrandomly
thi
nki
ngndavelandaphakamaandf i
xedmy
bed,
openedthewindowsandl ookedmy sel
finthe
mirr
orakhoni xsanakwisisusam :
/Icheckedt
he
ti
me: ohalffi
veyetIthoughti
tspastei
ghtor
something..
.IwenttowakeupEv e

Her
:"
mmh"
?
Me:
"wakeup"

Shewokeupandlookedatmeangr
il
y,
Ij
ustsmi
l
ed
andsatnextt
oher

Her
:"
what
"?
Me:
"l
et'
sjog,
foranhour
"
Her
:"
what
'st
het
ime"
?
Me:
"5:
30"
Her
:"
kay
"

Il
eftherroom andwentt
ogetready
,wore
ti
ghts,
tr
aini
ngshoes,
avestandahoodiesthenI
waitedforherdownstai
rseatinganappl e.Shecame
downdr essedli
kemeandwewentout ...Westart
ed
offwalki
ngbriskl
ythenwej ogged:vlateronraced
sakhesaphuml angasebaleniandrestedont he
ground

Her
:"
west
il
lgoi
ngshoppi
ng"
?
Me:
"yeah"
Her:
"we'
ll
meeti
ntown,
LDi
staki
ngusoutf
or
br
eakfast
"
Me:
"youandBooboo"
Her:
"yes.
..
Ithi
nkwe'
regoi
ngt
ofi
nishoft
hehol
i
day
s
athi
shome"
Me:
"mmmh,
makot
i"
Her
:"
wher
edi
dyougot
oyest
erday
"?
Me:
"Sosot
alkmeoutf
orawal
katt
hebeach"
Her
:"
asi
nLwandi
soTi
tus"
?
Me:
"yep"
Her
:"
yout
hinkt
hat
'
swi
se"
?
Me:"
he'st
heonlyf
ri
endIhav
ehere,Amandaisnot
comingback,
shewentt
oDurbanforhol
i
days"
Her:
"t
hinkoftaBeast,
youknowhedi
dntr
eal
l
yli
ke
yourr
elat
ionshi
pwithLaa"
Me:
"SosoandLaaar
edi
ff
erentpeopl
efondi
n"
Her
:"
ohkay
,Iwasj
ustsay
ing"
Me:"
weshoul
dret
urnhome,
booboomustbeup
now"

Wegotup,st
ret
chedandwenthome. .
.Iwentt
osoak
mysel
finabubblebathfor30mi nut
esandwhi l
eat
i
t,
Ical
l
edbaebet hezendi
mf ounelemos

Hi
m:"
maKhwal
o"
Me:
"Joj
o,unj
ani
"
Hi
m:"ndi
phil
eqet
endingum'qabaqabai
gqabi
le
vi
negarmfazwam unj
aniwena"
Me:
"yho.
..I
'
m goodt
hanks"
Hel
aughed:
vIwasl
ost:
/forr
eal
..
.

Hi
m:"
yousl
eptwel
lIcanheari
nyourv
oice"
Me:
"Idi
d,wena"
?
Hi
m:"
all
'
swel
l
..
.how'
smyson"
?
Me:
"she'
sfi
net
hanky
ou"
Hi
m:"
Imi
ssy
'al
l
"
Me:
"wemi
ssy
out
oo.
..
busi
nessgoi
ngwel
l
"?
Hi
m:"
yeah"
Me:
"andI
'
m sur
eyou'
resi
ghtseei
ngaswel
l
"
Him:
"Iam butt
here'
snotmucht
osee.
..
what
chu
doi
ngfortheday"
Me:
"mmh,
I
'm goi
ngshoppi
ngf
ory
ourmom kal
ok"
Him:"
ohokay
,remi
ndmet
ogi
vey
ouInumberka
Anga"
Me:
"who'
sthat
"?
Him:"t
heguyyou'
regonnagi v
ethosethingstotake
home...
butmaybethatwon'tbenecessarycozI
heardthetwi
nsarearri
vingnamhlanj
esoI '
l
ljust
checkuponthem ifbayafi
kauni
kelebonaqha"
Me:
"yho.
..
theydon'
tknowwe'
redat
ingkey
az"
Him:"
theydo.
..
rememberwhenyoumetupwith
them eShi
saNyama?Vincet
oldt
hem af
terhef
ound
outwe'r
edati
ngbandi
buza"
Me:
"yho"
Hi
m:"
sukoy
ikamanbabe"
Me:
"kayf
ine"
Hi
m:"
Ilov
eyouokay
"
Me:
"Iknow"
Him:"
justkeepi
nmindthati
m wor
kingf
orourf
utur
e
here,
youandourchi
ldr
en"
Me:
"nday
azbabe"
Hi
m:"
okaykeshar
p"
Me:
"l
ater
"
Wehungupndaphuma,
dri
ed,
lot
ionedandgot
dr
essed.
[
10/
9,19:
14]‪+27730692704‬:
#151

Iworedenim dungarees,whi
tev estandmatchi
ng
chucksIhadnaturalhairsoIjusttiedaneatupst
yle
bunandputonl ipbalmt henItookmybagand
walkeddownt hestaircase

Mar
cwal
kedi
nasIwasj
ustwal
ki
ngi
naswel
l

Hi
m:"
wegoi
ngsomewher
e"?
Me:
"wi
tht
hebagsandal
l
"

Helaughed,
cozIwasr
efer
ri
ngt
ohi
sbags.
..
ahoot
er
soundedoutsi
de
Me:
"t
hat
'smycue"
Hi
m:"
youdi
dn'
tanswerme"
Me:
"hav
easaf
etr
iobr
o"

Hechuckled.
..
Iwentout,
gotinSoso'
scarandhe
drov
etoWi mpy.Wegotout ,
walkedinthef
ranchi
se
andmadeouror derobv
iousl
yey am i
hambane
Chocol
ateshake

Hi
m:"
so,
whatar
eyoudoi
ngf
orChr
ist
mas"
?
Me:
"Idon'
tknow.
..
prol
l
yspendi
twi
thf
ami
l
y,y
ou"
Hi
m:"
Idon'
tknowy
etbutI
'
m sur
eIwon'
tbeher
e"
Me:
"asi
nEastLondon"
?
Hi
m:"
yes,
I
'mt
hinki
ngofgoi
ngt
oDur
banj
ustt
o
br
eat
hman"
Me:
"wher
e'sy
ourgi
rl
fr
iend"
Hi
m:"
webr
okeupsomet
imeago"
Me:
"why
"
Hi
m:"
shegotbackwi
thherex.
..
Idi
dn'
treal
l
yhav
e
t
imeforher
"
Me:
"t
hat
'scr
uel
"
Him:"
IknowbutItakemycareerser
iouslyt
han
anyt
hing.
..
play
ingr
ugbyrequi
resmoret i
meandthen
ontopofthatI'
mfreel
anci
nginmodeling"
Me:
"mmmh,
forwhi
chagency
"?
Him:
"fort
heschool
magazi
ne,
i
tsnot
hingI
'
mjust
expl
ori
ng"
Me:"
butI
'm sureyou'
reaci
ngi
t.
..
soy
oumeanshe
coul
dn'
thandleit
"?
Him:"
I'
m notr
eal
l
ysur
eman.
..
any
way
,tel
lmeabout
yourownli
fe"
Me:
"hahat
her
e'snot
hingi
nter
est
ingt
her
e"
Hi
m:"
newman,
howi
she"
Me:"
ohhe'sgr
eat .
..
bitol
derandmoreexper
ienced
t
hanIam.Idon'tmeant obeinsensi
ti
venehbut,i
ts
l
ikeI
'venowgottentounderstandwhatl
overeal
ly
means"
Him:
"I'
m happyforyou,
atl
eastsomeoneoutt
her
e
appr
eciat
ey ourl
ove"
Me:
"hedoes"

Hesmi
l
ed.
..Ibl
ushedandr
esumedt
oeat
ing

Him:"
thewayyouglowupwhental
ki
ngbouthi
m
saysyou'
rei
nlove,
heshoul
dputari
ngoni
t"
Me:
"hewant
sto.
..
I'
m notr
eady
"
Hi
m:"
buty
oul
ovehi
m"
Me:
"babe,
Ineedtost
udynott
ogetmar
ri
edwi
thonl
y
amatri
ccert
if
icat
e"
Hi
m:"
isheeducat
ed"
Me:
"degr
ees,
mast
ersorhonor
sinbusi
ness"
Hi
m:"
ishewor
king"
Me:
"Idon'
twannadependonhi
m"
Hi
m:"
Iunderst
andandI'
m notsayingdependon
hi
m..
.i
fhereal
lyl
ovesy
ouhe'llsuppor
tyouevenif
y
ou'
remar
ri
ed"
Me:
"noSoso,
Iwannabeindependentandsuccessf
ul
onmyown,getmarr
iedemvakoko"
Hi
m:"
doesher
especty
ou"
?
Me:
"yes"
Hi
m:"
isheal
way
sther
efory
ou"
?
Me:
"Soso"
Hi
m:"
didhewai
tforyouwheny
ouwer
en'
tready
?
Li
ket
hesexual
rout
eImean"

Icoveredmyeyes:vInevert
houghtSosowould
evenbet hi
sopenaboutanyt
hingt
ome: vthi
swasa
fi
rst
..
.Iwasneverr
eady!!
!

Hi
m:"
ndi
yabuzasuzi
fi
hlaapha"
Me:"y
esSoso,he'
sal
way st
her
e,al
wayshavebeen
andyeshewai t
edunti
lIwasr
eadybutalloft
hat
doesn'
tcountwhenitcomest
oumt shat
o"
Him:
"ooh?Tel
lmekebabewhatr
eal
l
ycount
s
ngal
eyakhoIl
ogi
c"

Ismil
edandfini
shedof
fmyshake.
..
Andzomphendul
amosmnauSoso>_ <

Hi
m:"
yousee?Justgi
vet
heguyabr
eak"
Me:"heknowsIl
ovehim Sosoandhe'
l
lwai
tna
ngokuuntil
I'
mready
"
Hi
m:"
nisenzal
ontoy
azni
na.
..
yonki
ntof
unekai
bet
he
wayy
'al
lwantit
"
Me:
"ha.
ayout
rynasaywe'
rebul
l
iesnow"
Hi
m:"
emot
ional
bul
l
iesf
uthi
"

Ibur
stoutl
aughi
ng.
..
soundsl
i
keme:
v

Idi
dn'
targuewi
thhi
m cozhewasbei
ngr
eal
i
st i
c
her
e.Aft
erweatewedrovear
oundt
ownmaking
smal
lconv
ersat
ion

Me:
"youknowI'
m supposedt
obedoi
ngshoppi
ng
wi
thEvetoday
"
Hi
m:"
wher
eisshe"
?
Me:
"hav
ingbr
eakf
astwi
thbabydaddy
"
Hi
m:"
wel
lIcoul
dhel
pyousol
ong"
Me:
"ny
han"
?
Hi
m:"
any
thi
ngt
ogetmeoutoft
hathouse"
Me:
"aaawman,
umamakhoakakat
sint
shi
"
Him:
"haywethuIdon'
treal
l
ycar eany
mor easl
ong
asIhavedadonmycor ner
..
.bankyam l
eya"
:
v
Me:
"ukl
evaf
ondi
n"
Him:"
tchi
n,I
'm usi
nghi
sjetforall
thi
strav
eli
ngsoI
gott
ahav ehim onmycorner.
..
thi
scar?Heputthe
fuel
initcozudikwendi
m kulandl
u"
Me:
"nui
sance"
?
Him:"
nope,
Ilockmysel
finmyr
oom.
..
orspendt
ime
cooki
ngwithourhel
per"
Me:
"yhohaymt
chanam"
Hi
m: "
seewhyIhav
etogooutandbr
eat
h?Dur
ban
wi
lldomesomegoodItel
lya"
Me:
"Iheary
ou"

It
ext
edEveandt ol
dherI'
llj
ustbegi
ntheshoppi
ng
wi
thSososolong,l
olsheactual
l
ycall
ed.
..

Me:
"hi
"
Her
:"
Ifor
gotabouti
tyouknow"
Me:
"you'
reki
ddi
ng"
Her:
"I
'm sorr
yman,
butI'
m sur
eSosowon'tmi
ndcoz
Idon'
tthinkwe'
l
lbebackunti
ldi
nnert
ime"
Me:
"what
everEv
e"
Her
:"
don'
tbel
i
ket
hatnow"
Me:
"seey
ou"
IhungupandaskedSosot odriv
emet othepost
offi
ce,ii
nquir
edfrom theassist
antladyaboutt he
parcelsthatAnel
isasaidshe'
lldeli
verandi was
givenar ecei
ptyosignthem handedt hebox,He
carri
edittothecarthenwest art
edatt hegrocery
stores.Hesuggestedwegot oPick'
n'PayinVincent
ndav umakenam

Hi
m:"
sowhatexact
lyar
ewebuy
ing'
'
?
Me:"
Idon'tknowwhatspeci
fi
cal
ly
..
.Butwe'
reher
eto
buygroceri
esforappr
oxi
matel
yfi
vepeopl
e"
Hi
m:"
who"
?
Me:
"myi
n-l
aws"
Hi
m:"
okay
,bl
ackwomanli
kebi
gthi
ngs.
..
let
'sst
art
wi
tht
hemostimpor
tant
"

Hepushedthet
roll
eytothel
astai
sleandIselect
ed
Spekkori
ce,
l
olwearguedkekumeal i
emealcozI
wantedAcemaizemealandhesaidWhiteStaris
therightone: vsowat hathalowakhe, theCakeFlour
thenwewentt ot hev egetablesai sl
eandl oaded
everythingwet houghtwasv al
idandl astlywewent
tothet ins.
..Loadedal otmor ethingsf r
om Lucky
Starpilchardst omi xedf rui
tincansand
custards,may osandmar i
nadesi fakazazi
umamakheuy ozibonasanamnandi thengeyonkint
o
endicingbai zobar i
ght .

Me:
"now.
..I
ipapanobi
si"
Hi
m:"
andmeat
"
Me:
"wecanbuyt
hatatI
mpal
a"
Hi
m:"
ayt
"

Weconcl udedourgroceryshoppingandloadedinto
hiscar.
..Myphonerangxasi ngenaemotweni,
nota
pri
vatenumberbutanunknownnumbersoIwai t
ed
foraminutef ormyCallAppt oregi
ster:
DIsmiled
whenIsawt henamef l
ashont hescreen
Me:
"Kuhl
e,
hi
"
Hi
m:"
Tri
na,
howar
eyou"
Me:
"I
'm good,
wena"
Hi
m:"
I'
m good.
..
Ibel
i
evey
ou'
vegoneshoppi
ngf
or
mom"?
Me:
"yeahbutI
'
m notdoney
et"
Him:
"okay
,cal
luswheny
ou'
redonewe'
l
lcomet
o
you"
Me:
"wi
l
ldo"
Hi
m:"
huh,
Ican'
twai
ttoseey
ouy
az"
Me:
"haha!Why
"?
Hi
m:"
no,
j
ustnj
e"
Me:
"mxm Iknowwhy
,akhont
ouzoy
bonaapha"
Hi
m:"
mmmh"
Me:
"by
eby
emanKuhl
e"
Hi
m:"
seey
ousoon"
:
v

Wegotinthecarandwentt
obuymeatatI
mpala
meats,
aft
ert
hatwewenttobuyezi
nyei
zi
ntof
or
uSi
nongemalikamamakhe

Soso:
"who'
sthi
ngsar
ethese"
?
Me:
"myboy
fri
end'
sdaught
er"
Hi
m:"
uphi
umamakhe"
?
Me:
"ukhona,
she'
stheonewhosentt
hisboxandt
his
moneytobuythesethi
ngs"
Hi
m:"
she'
sver
ythought
ful
"
Me:"
yeah.
..
butkeabavani
not at
awomntanasoI'
m
ki
ndaheronlychannel
toreachoutt
oherdaught
er"
Hi
m:"
youhav
eagoodhear
t"
Me:
"haha!Iwi
sh"
Hi
m:"
ohcummonwebot
hknowt
hat
'st
rue"
Me:
"yougi
vemet
oomuchcr
edi
tSoso"
Hi
m:"
cozt
hat
'swhatf
ri
endsdo"

:
)wecont i
nuedthenwhenweweredonewith
ever
ythi
ng,
Itext
edKuhleandt
oldhi
m uzof
ika
si
mlindephi.
[
10/
9,19:
14]‪+27730692704‬:
#152

Wewai t
edatMcDonaldsout
sideatt
hebal
cony
Kuhlear
riv
edwithhi
sbrot
her:)t
hesmil
eonthei
r
faceswhentheysawme

Si
hle:
"mol
weni
"

Igotupandwehugged,
ndaphumel
anakwi
wel
e
l
akheandtheysatdown

Kuhl
e:"
madam,
youl
ookl
avi
shi
ng"
Me:
"t
hanky
ou:
)uhm,
Sosot
hisi
sKuhl
eandhi
stwi
n
Sihl
e.Theyaremybae'
sbr
other
s.Guy
s,t
hisi
smy
bestfr
iendLwandi
so"

Theyshookhands

Kuhl
e:"
soar
en'
tweeat
ing"
?
Soso:
"Iwoul
dn'
tsayno"
Me:
"hayandi
l
ambangamna"
Si
hle:
"Il
ovey
ouraccent
"
Me:
"heeehai
kengok"
Si
hle:
"so,
whatar
ewehav
ing"
?

Theymadeor dersndabukela...
Sosoisaneasy
blenderthough, khangekubekhoawkwar dmoments
what soev erkuv eleyangathngabantuabazanayo
fr
om agesago.I nhisorder,
Sosoaddedachocolate
mi l
kshake: vnday ihl
ekakancincicabauthi
ndizoyiselay onanobaandi f
uni ukut
ya.Theor
ders
camet hrough
Kuhl
e:"
you'
reser
iousl
ynoteat
ing"
Me:
"ndi
zobar
ightapha"
Sihl
e:"
don'
tstar
veyour
sel
f,umnt
akwethu
angaxabanakakubi
xenof
ikaubhi
tyi
l
e"
Soso:
"uf
anel
ekudal
aesi
tya"

Myphoner ang...
lomntuifanbaulel
ebuthe'sbusy
checkinguponme: /notthatI'
m surpri
sed,henev
er
real
lysleepsev enwhenI '
m around,unl
esshewas
thepreviousnightkeonsomehust lingorhunti
ngI
don'
tknowwhi chi swhich.

Me:
"excusemeguy
s..
.Hel
l
o"
Hi
m:"
baby
"
Me:
"ul
alani
nil
ove"
?
Hi
m:"
yhohayf
ondi
nndi
yani
khumbul
a"
Me:
"t
shot
sho":
v:v
Him:"
suhl
ekaS'
bongi
l
ethi
sisbad,
andkwazi
nol
ala
ngokungenxay
akho"
Me:
"nxay
am?Dudebendt
hebuy
akudal
amna"
Hi
m:"
webot
hknowIcan'
t"
Me:"
thenstopcompl
aini
ngandf
ini
shof
fwhaty
ou
wentther
etodo"
Hi
m:"
you'
renothel
ping,
youknowt
hat
"
Me:"I
'
m notsupposedt
obehel
pingy
oui
nanyway
babe"
Kuhl
e:"
umhl
elosi
simnt
akwet
hu"
Hi
m:"
ngubanl
out
het
hay
o"?
Me:
"Kuhl
e"
Hi
m:"
oh,
badebaf
ika"
Me:
"yeah"
Hi
m:"
mmh,
khamni
keIphone"
Me:
"cal
lhi
minhi
sphone"
Hi
m:"
please"
.
..
Ipassedt
hephonet
oKuhl
e

Kuhl
e:"
bhut
i"
Hi
m:"
nihambegr
and"
?
Kuhl
e:"
yeaht
hanks,
i
njani
Iweat
herapho"
Hi
m:"
yhokwedi
ni,
umnt
uul
alangat
hiy
iokapi
"
Kuhl
e:"
akhonezawayzi
babay
onamkhul
uwa"
Hi
m:"
ndi
ngabet
hwangul
oosi
sini
hlel
inay
e"
Kuhl
e:"
shedoesn'
thav
etoknow,j
onga,
I
'l
lhookyou
upwit
haguywhoownsabarcl osetoyourhot
el"

SihleandSosolookedatme,Ijustl
aughed:v
bendizot
hini
?Thisguyispr
ollytest
ingmemosand
he'snotgonnapenetr
ateundermyski nthateasi
l
y
>_ <tu!

Him:
"hehKuhle,
ufunandiphel
elwengumtshat
o
kwedi
ni?Asozendibesi
sishumanenjengawe
kemna.
..
nikaubabeIphoney
akhe"
Kuhl
e:"
yourl
oss"

Thenhegav
emet
hephone

Me:
"bhut
i"
Hi
m:"
ungawamamel
il
amagezaohl
eli
nawo"
Me:
"don'
twor
ry"
Hi
m:"
thanky
ouf
ort
hegr
ocer
ies"
Me:
"i
tsmypl
easur
e"
Hi
m:"
okay
,I
'l
lcal
lyoul
ateron"
Me:
"l
ovey
ou"
Hi
m:"
Ilov
eyouMi
ssSmi
th"

Ismil
edandhungup. ..
aftereati
ngwewentt ot
he
carandoff
loadedeverythingfr
om Soso'
scarand
l
oadedthem int
otheircar.Itol
dthem aboutSi
no's
thi
ngsbutInevert
oldthem zi t
hengwengubanithen
theypackedandweal
lhuggedbahambake.Soso
andIheadedhomeandhedr oppedmei
nfrontof
myhouse

Me:
"Iowey
oubi
gti
me"
Hi
m:"
noy
oudon'
t"
Me:
"ohcummon"
Him:
"Igottomeetupwi
thy
ourcrazyi
n-l
aws,
unwi
ndedandshoppedf
oraprol
l
ycutebabygir
l.I
hadf
un,thanky
ou"
Me:
"mmh"

Wehuggedndohl
i
kaandwalkedinsidemyhome.
..
I
di
dn'
tevenbuymysel
fany
thi
ng:(njani?

Luuwasi
ntheki
tchenbaki
ng:
D

Me:
"homeal
one"
?
Hi
m:"
I'
m ev
enget
ti
ngusedt
oit
"
Me:
"whenar
ewev
isi
ti
ngmom agai
n"?
Hi
m: "
Keriwentt
her
eal
ready
..
.we'
l
lgot
omor
row
morning"
Me:
"ooh.
..
sowhoar
eyoubaki
ngf
or"
?
Him:
"her
,maybeifshecansmel lt
hedel
ight
st hat
sheusedtobakethenit
'l
ltr
iggersomet
hinginside
hert
owakeup"
Me:"
hopef
ull
y.
..Lemmegetcomf
ort
abl
eI'
l
lbeback
andhel
pyou"
Hi
m:"
you'
vebeenoutal
ldayy
oushoul
dber
est
ing"
Me:
"I
'm nott
ir
ed"

Ilef
tev enbeforehecoul dsaysomet hi
ngelse,
Iwore
baggypant sandsl i
ppers,
loosenedmyhairandwent
tojoinhimi nthekit
chen.Af t
erbakingwecookedup
astory!..
.hi
sgirl
fr
iendcalledsohel ef
tmetof i
nish
offthepostt hat
'swhenIr eali
zedthatMarchad
real
lygonebackt otheCape.WhenIwasdoneI
wentt ositdowni nthel
ounge. .
.Vincecal
l
ed
xandi
saqal
audl
alaIgame:

Me:
"l
ow"
Hi
m:"
hi,
howar
eyou"
Me:
"goody
our
sel
f"
?
Hi
m:"
great
..
.l
ongt
ime"
Me:
"i
sit
"?
Hi
m:"
braI
'
m sor
ry.
..
ndi
yakukhumbul
a"
Me:
"Idon'
tthi
nkLi
bowoul
dbeent
icedbyt
hat
"
Hi
m:"
cummonTee"
Me:''
I'
m serious.
..she'syourgi
rlf
ri
end,youare
supposedt obespendi ngti
mewi thher
,missi
ng
her,
spoil
ingher ,
calli
ngher,t
ext
ingherandmaki ng
herfeellovedandwant edatal
l t
imes..
.l
ikeany
reasonableboy f
riend"
Hi
m:"we'
resort
ingoutourissuesbutthatdon'
t
meanI'
vefor
gottenaboutourfri
endship"
Me:
"andwhi
chf
ri
endshi
pist
hat
?Isi
tthesame
f
ri
endshi
pyouended"
?
Hi
m:"
I'
m sor
rybr
a"
Me:"don'
tbe.
..
may bei
tsagoodthi
ngwecan'
tbe
fr
iendsanymore.Youknowwhattheycal
l
boundari
es?"
Hi
m:"
yes"
Me:"
good,
thatcontextwit
husmeansy ou'
rejustmy
boy
fri
endsbrother
,nothi
ngmor
e,not
hingless"
Hi
m:"
justl
i
ket
hat
"
Me:
"hav
eyour
sel
fabl
essedev
eni
ng"

Ihungup- _-het hi
nksi t
sokayt ostandi nfr
ontof
mymanandt ellmeourf r
iendshipisov er?AfterI
stoodupt oNt andondi mxelelabaIwon' tst
opbei ng
fr
iendswi t
hhim gqi bay enaafikeathetheeny int
o
nowt hathisbrotherandgi rlf
ri
endar enotar oundhe
wantst hefri
endshipback?Ha. akalok.No.I tdoesn't
worklikethat.
..Idon'tneedpeopl ewithanant sspi ne
i
nmyl i
fe,
Ineedpeopl ewhocanst andf ir
m ont hei
r
beli
efandr easonst rongoni t.
..
abantuabanomqol o
whowon' tsellmeatthesightoftheenemylike
Joseph'sbrother
sdidorli
keJudasdi dtoJesus.I
don'tneedthosekindapeople.Af
tertwohoursKuhle
cal
ledme

Me:
"hel
l
o"
Her
:"
mama"
Me:
"heeey
,mnt
anam,
unj
ani
"
Her
:"
phi
l
il
e..
.wenaundt
hengel
eii
mpahl
amama"
Me:
"mnanomamakhowok'
qal
a"
Her
:"
uNel
i
sa"
Me:
"ewet
oyszakhouzi
boni
l
e"
Her
:"
ewenonodol
ikaBar
bieomhl
e"
Me:"
uceleumakhul
ukeakwenzel
empahl
azi
ka
nodol
ine"
Her
:"
okaymama.
..
uOweuf
unut
het
hanawe"
Me:
"mni
keIphone"
.
..
Hi
m:"
sisi
"
Me:
"hey
,howar
eyou"
Hi
m:"
I'
m good,
unj
ani
wenasi
si"
Me:
"i
m gr
eatboy
"
Hi
m:"
uzozaaphakwamakhul
uforChr
ist
masl
unch"
?
Me:
"noIwon'
t,
I
'l
lbehav
ingl
unchwi
thmyown
f
amily
"
Hi
m:"
butmakhul
uwant
stoseey
ou"
Me:
"yho"
Hi
m:"ndi
zocel
autataabuy
eneh,t
henhe'
l
lcomeand
f
etchyouawzolahl
ekaIpr
omise"
:
v
Me:
"er
h..
.okayboy
"
.
.
Kuhl
e:"
hey
,unj
ani
udi
nwa"
Me:
"yhu,
myf
eetar
eupngokst
het
hay
o"
Hi
m:"
umamaubul
elekakhul
u"
Me:
''
Idi
dn'
tdoanyt
hingt
hough,
nguny
anakhe
amakambul
ele"
Hi
m:"
awt
handi
ubamodest
"
Me:
"i
tstr
uethough,
hesentt
hemoneyandIj
ust
madeuseofit
"
Hi
m:"
mmh,
sot
hisChr
ist
masl
unch"
Me:
"nobr
a,Ican'
tmakei
t"
Hi
m:"
you'
rewi
l
li
ngt
ohi
deunt
ilwhen"
?
Me:
"Idon'
tknow,
unt
ilI
'
mready
"
Him:"
mybr ot
hershoul
dmarr
yyou,
i
fawf
uni
he
shoul
djustknockyouup"
Me:"
izomncedaentwenil
ont
o,heknowsi
fint
o
andi
zoyenzaandi
yenziny
hani
"
Hi
m:"
he'
sabet
termant
hanIam"
Me:
"may
be"
Hi
m:"
ndi
thi
nikumamzo"
Me:
"comeupwi
thanexcuse"
Hel
aughedandhungup:
/Iwasn'tgonnaspend
Xmaswit
hafamil
yIdon'
tevenknowy et,
worse
l
omntundi
zengayei
snotev
enar ound!Haikngok!
[
10/
9,19:
14]‪+27730692704‬:
#153

Luucameback, Keri
andhersontoot henweser ved
supper,
packedthebakedgoodiesintoat i
nformom.
Aft
ersupperIheadedtomyr oom,Iwasr eall
yti
red
man...
Ibathedandgotinbedndalala.Iheardmy
phoneascendingandthenri
ngingfrom afaryho
hai
keIcoul dn'
tl
if
tmyheadtu.Yakhal ayayeka.
Iwokeupagaini nnt
yemi dni
ghtwi t
hfourmi ssed
cal
lsfr
om bae,t
wof rom hisyoungerbrotherbutI
tol
dmy sel
fI'
m notgonnacall KuhleI'
drathercal
l
NtandocozinobanoKuhl elocalledmekubaubhut
wakheengandifumani
Hi
sphoner
angonce.
..

Hi
m:"
yhouy
alal
a"
Me:
"di
niwe"
Hi
m:"
uvuswey
int
onngoku"
Me:
"I
'm hungr
y"
Hi
m:"
it
'smi
dni
ghtbabe"
Me:
"Iknow,
yourdaught
erdoesn'
tknow"
Him:"
Ihopeyou'
renoteat
ingj
unkf
oodkekuy
o
yonkelont
o"
Me:
"who'
sgonnacookel
'
xeshanaNt
ando"
Hi
m:"
lef
tov
erszi
phi
"?
Me:
"andiy
azI'
m st
il
lcont
empl
ati
ngonget
ti
ngup
kwakulebed"
Him:"
mmh, soI
'
m atabout
ique.
..That
'swhaty
ou
cal
li
t,
right
"?
Me:
"hahaha!Uf
unani
apho"
?
Hi
m:"
Isawasexypai
rofshoesf
ory
ou"
Me:
"r
eal
l
y?Howmuch"
Hi
m:"
Idon'
tknowbutI
'
mtaki
ngt
hem"
Me:
"don'
tov
erspend"
Hi
m:"
doy
ouknowDrDr
e"
Me:
"t
hehi
phopgur
u"?
Hi
m: "
gur
u?Haybabet hatnamei
sforhar
dcore
mil
li
onai
res.
..
any
wayIsawsomeofhi shoodi
esI
t
hinkyoumightl
ike"
Me:
"f
orme"
?
Hi
m:"
us.
..
I'
l
lbuyonef
orj
uni
ort
oo"
Me:"
hahahayoudon'
tgi
veupt
hough,
l
omnt
anai
sa
gi
rl
.Okay"?
Him:
"wi
l
lyoul
ovehi
m anyl
essi
fitt
urnsoutt
obea
boy"
?
Me:"
how'
sthatev
enpossi
blecozI
'
dbet
heone
car
ryi
nghi
m"
Hi
m:"
I'
m gl
ady
ousai
dhi
m"

Iburstoutl
aughi
ng,
mant
hisni
ggacaughtme
off
gaurd:v>_<

Me:
"Ihat
eyour
ightnow"
Hi
m:"
ndi
yakut
handakemna"
Me:"
yazIboughtsomet
hingf
orus.
..
someti
me
ago,
butInev
ergotachancet
ogiveyouy
ourown"
Hi
m:"
somet
hing.
..
li
kewhat
"?
Me:
"nah,
you'
l
lseewheny
ou'
reback"
Hi
m:"
andy
ouowemest
il
l"

Iwentdownstai
rswhil
etal
ki
ngonthephoneand
mademy sel
frooibost
eawithhomemadeginger
cooki
es

Me:
"owey
ouwhat
"?
Hi
m:"
scan"
Me:"t
chin,
you'r
etheonewhol
efti
nahur
ry
apha,
eintl
i
ky ouoweme"
Hi
m:"
ikhonai
possi
bil
i
tybandi
yabuy
anextweekend"
Me:
"yoursonwi
l
lbehappy
"
Hi
m:"
omphi
"
Me:"
Owent
ando,
Iwast
alki
ngt
ohi
m af
ewhour
s
ago"
Him:"
it
snotfinal
yet
,j
ustapossi
bil
i
tyso
ungabaxel
eli
andgetthei
rhopeshi
ghingenzeki
l
ento"
Me:
"myl
i
psar
eseal
ed"
Hi
m:"
Imi
sst
hosel
i
ps.
..
andmor
e"
Me:
"ndcel
aul
alangokubabe"
Hi
m:"
uyand'
bal
eka"
Me:
"ha.
andi
funaut
yandi
l
aleqha"
Hi
m:"
udewakant
iuzot
yant
oni
"
Me:
"gi
ngerbi
scui
tsandt
ea"
Hi
m:"
heal
thyny
ana"

Sancokol
anj
eafewminutest
henwhenIwasdone
eat
ingwehungupndal
ala.

Wokeupt
henextmor
ningandwentt
obat
h,whenI
camebackIst il
l stoodi nfrontofmymi rrorchecki ng
outmybump: /ay veliandIwaski ndapl eased: vI
don'thav et i
mef orsuspi ci
onr ightnow.Isatdownat
theedgeofmybed. .
.Iguessi twasj ustoneoft hose
daysman, Iwasf eelingemot ional, eintl
ikmy
emot ionswer ej ustal lov erthepl ace.Myhear twas
tooheav yngat hndi zov aumphangaorsomet hing,i
tri
eduhm, hol di
ngmy selftoget hery ouknow, when
yout alktoy our sel ftryingtot ellyour selfitsjusta
"phase"ornj eemanbutha. asanandazi ncamaand
call
edbae, Ican'tr eal l
yst artadaywi thouthear i
ng
hisvoi ceespeci allywhenI 'ml i
ket his: (hisphone
rangf ourtimesandhi tvoicemai l
.Itriedagai nandi t
didthesamet hing. .
.Iendedupget t
ingr eadyf ort he
hospital vi
sitIwor eadeni mf laredski rt,
tuckedi na
whitechi ff
onshi rtandwor eoneoft hepai rsoft he
spikedsneaker sbaeboughtmesomet imeagot hen
Iblowdr i
edmyhai randl efti
tl oose.Iwassooosl ow
andaznam whymybodywasj ustsoweak. .
.WhenI
wasdonef ixingmybed, baecal l
ed,bynowIwas
beyondsul kingo. Oi fhewasher ey hondoy ikai lev el
yeat ti
tudey am bi zobanj antowar dshi m
Me:
"mmbaby
"
Hi
m:"
hey
..
.Iwasbusy
,what
'
sup"
?
Me:
"not
hing"
Hi
m:"
buty
oucal
l
edt
wot
imes"
Me:
"khay
ekebabeI
'
llcal
lyoul
ateron"
Hi
m:"
uri
ghtbaba"
Me:
"yeah"
Hi
m:"
oh-
kay
"

Ihungup...
.f
ini
shedsort
ingmyroom andwent
downstair
s.Ionlywai
tedfort
heothersi
bli
ngsto
fi
nisheati
ngIwasn'tgonnaspoi
lmystomachwor se
I'
m alr
eadyinafoulmood.Whenwewer eallr
eady
wer odei
nLuke'scarandwenttovisi
tmom.
[
10/
9,19:
14]‪+27730692704‬:
#154

Wer
eachedt
hehospi
tal
..
.j
ongaIski
ppedi
nsi
de
okomnt wana.Ineededt oset
tl
emyheartissuesgou
-gounyhanwhenIr eachedmom' swardthebedwas
empt y
.Istart
edpanickingkengokandtherewasno
doctortoquesti
on..
.Iranoutandbumpedont omy
sibl
i
ngsbengena

Luu:
"heywhat
'
sup"
Me:
"momsbedi
sempt
y"

Yhohai
keugi
lanauyongenakul
awar
d..
.Isawa
doct
orandr
anafterhi
m

Me:
"doct
or.
..
canIasky
ouaquest
ion"
Hi
m:"
yesma'
am howcanIhel
pyou"
Me:"
uhm...Uhm..Doc,
mymom wasi
nthatwar
d..
.
Butnow.
..Her.
..Herbedi
sempt
y"
Hi
m:"okaycal
m downy
oungl
ady
,takemet
othe
war
d"
Iwal
kedi
nfr
ontofhi
m andwefoundmysi bl
i
ngs
wai
ti
ngandl
ooki
ngaslostandconf
used.
..Eve
j
umpedup

Her
:"
okaywhat
'
sgoi
ngon"
?
Doc:
"ohMrsSmi
thi
syourmother
?Di dn'
tyourol
der
br
otheri
nfor
myoual
lthatwe'
vet
ransfer
edherto
CapeTown"?
Luu:
"Mar
cus?Ohfl
i
p,hementi
onedsomet
hingabout
si
gni
ngpapersf
orthet
ransf
er"
Doc:"
yes,wetransf
eredherl
astni
ghtaf
terher
daughterlef
t"
Ker
i:
"t
hatmustbeme"
Doc:
"ohyeah,
Idi
dn'
trecogni
zey
ou.Cal
lyour
br
other
,heshoul
dknowhowshe'sdoi
ngbynow"
Luu:
"okayt
hanky
oudoc"
Doc:
"mostwel
comesi
r"

Wewal
kedout
..
.Ist
il
lfel
tdownanddef
eat
edshame
andIdon' treallyknowwhatcoul dr
eall
yimprovemy
mood, bendingaf uninoSosonamhlanj
ecozwhenwe
reachedhomeIwentst rai
ghtt
obedandlocked
my sel
fint herendamazmosuEv eangavelaangene
noBooboondi bendi ngekhokwimoodyoteket
isaat
all
.Iundressedandwor emyPJsndangena
ezingubeni ndalala.

-
-
*
*Chr
ist
masWeek*
*
-
-

Christmaswasgonnabei nthreeday s,
ekhay a
akhontoitshoy
otusana...Kerifl
ewbackt oher
husbandcozkeuzohl al
elaniwhenbot hparentsare
i
nCapeTown?Shehadt ospendt i
mewi t
ht he
familyshehasbui
ltforherselfwethu,Marcusont he
otherhandneverr
eturnedqhaebet humelaimal i
for
ustobuyl ontoi
shotayo,Ev
ewenttotheRoyal
house.
..Thechiefwant edtoseehi
sgrandson.Ijust
satonthest oopt
hinkinghowmucht hi
ngshave
changed..
.thi
shouseusedt obesofull
andv i
brant
butnowi twassil
ent.Lukecamet osi
tnexttome

Hi
m:"
wannat
alkabouti
t"
?
Me:
"t
her
e'snot
hingt
otal
kabout
"
Him:"
okay.
..
Idon'
tthi
nkspendi
ngChr
ist
masi
nthi
s
housewil
lhelpuswit
hanythi
ng"
Me:
"sowhat
'
syoursuggest
ion"
Hi
m:"
let
'sgot
ooneoft
hef
arma,
Kler
ksdor
pmay
be"
?
Me:
"t
hat
'sani
dea.
..
butnotKl
erksdor
p..
.Let
'sgot
o
Umt
ata"
Him:
"okay
..
.l
emmecal
lupuncl
eVeeandseei
fhe
candosomethi
ng"
Me:
"t
hanks"

Hewal
kedbacki
ntot
hehouse.
..JongaIhear
da
hoot
erbutIdidn'
tgetup,Lukemightaswellopenfor
whosoeverthatwas.
..InamatterofsecondsIheard
fami
li
arvoicesbutIdidn'
tmoveuntilIsawthem :
D
andIswearmyf aceli
tup

Me:
"aaaw.
..
Iwonder
,t
owhatdoIowet
hisv
isi
t"
?
Si
hle:
"unqabi
l
efondi
n"

WehuggedandIledthem i
nsi
de,Luuwasbusyon
thephonesohewalkedoutt
othepatioaswemade
oursel
vescomf
ort
ableonthecouches

Me:
"Soso"
Hi
m:"
ntwanay
am"
Me:
"ni
dibanaphi
?Coznguweobazi
seapha"
Hi
m:"
sidi
beneet
own.
..
acoupl
eofday
sago"
Kuhl
e:"
sowedecidedtocomechecky
ouout
,si
nce
you'
renotev
encall
ing"
Me:
"oh"

:
vi nmyheadI
'mlike.
..
asizof
ri
endsnj
e:/whywoul
d
Ibeexpect
edtocally
'al
l?EwekeuSosoison
groundst
osaythat.
..
notbona!

Si
hle:
"andwet
hinkwewi
l
lspendXmaswi
thy
ou"
Me:
"why
?Whatabouty
ourf
ami
l
ies"
Soso:
"hai
keawbuzi
kum"
Me:
":vmi
nusy
ouchomi
"
Kuhl
e:"
umamzougr
andnabazukul
wanabakhe"
Me:
"wel
l
..
.I
'
dlov
etobut
,I
'
m goi
ngt
oumt
ata"
Soso:
"when"
?
Me:
"mybr
otherwi
l
lbr
ingmet
hatanswer
"
Si
hle:
"why
"?
Me:"
Ineedareal
i
tycheck.
..
andav
erynat
ural
br
eathi
ngspace"
Kuhl
e:"
soy
ou'
regoi
ngt
othev
il
lagepar
tofumt
ata"
?
Me:
"I
'm act
ual
l
ygoi
ngt
oaf
armhouse"
Soso:
"ooohuSmi
thngef
armskeukosul
ele"
Si
hle:
"t
hinaasi
nohamba?Imean,nott
ocr
ashyour
pl
ansbutnathiwecoul
dusewithsomefr
eshnatur
al
ai
r"
Kuhl
e:"
andkenyhan,
theseconcret
ej ungl
escan
depr
iveoneoft
heauthenti
cpleasuresofnatur
e"
Me:
"heee.
..
"

Luucamebacksmi
l
ing.
..
that
'sagoodsi
gn.

Hi
m:"
erh,
hel
l
oguy
s"
Them:
"af
ter
noon"
Me:
"guy
s,t
hisi
smybrotherLuke.Thesearemy
f
ri
endsIguess:
vyouknowt hi
soner i
ght
"?
Hi
m:"
yeah,
Tit
ushei
r"
Me:
"yep,
thesear
eSi
hleandKuhl
e"
Hi
m:"
theyl
ookl
i
kesomeoneIknow"
Ij
ustsmi
l
ed.
..

Hi
m:"
ooh,youmustbetheyoungbusi
nessminded
menyourbrot
heri
salwaysproudt
otalkabout
"
Kuhl
e:"
proudhei
s..
.andhewouldsayonl
ybecause
we'
remakinganhonestli
vi
ng"
Si
hle:
"ni
cet
omeety
ouman"

Luu:
'
'sameher
e..
.souhm,
Tee"
?
Me:
"sup"
?
Luu:"
uncl
eVeesay sthey'
dbemorethanwil
l
ingto
prepar
eaplaceforus..
.It
oldt
hem we'
recoming
tomorroweveni
ng"
Me:
"t
hat
'sgr
eat.
..
butuhm,
ther
e'saLi
lpr
obl
em t
hat
wedi
dn'
tfor
esee"
Hi
m:"
whati
sit
"?
Il
ookedattheguys.
..
hel
ookedatt
hem,
thenatme
ki
ndaconfused.

Sihl
e:"
weal
sowannat
agal
ong,
ifi
twon'
tbemuch
tr
ouble"
Hi
m:"
ohr
eal
l
y"?
Kuhle:
"yeah.
..
shementi
onedafar
m?Weal
lneeda
touchofreal
ityatsomepoi
nt"
Hi
m:"
Tit
us?Yout
oo"
?
Soso:
"I
'mt
hemai
nmanmyman"

:
v:v

Lukecall
eduncl
eVeeagainandhesai di
tsokay
..
.:v
ndamazuMal umeuVuy i
sil
euv uy
elanal
ento
ezokheaphumleii
nkomo,t
hesheepandgoats
zi
khutshwengabanyeabantu.
Imadel unchanddishedupf oral
lofus.
..
they
headedhomet opackf orngomso.Iheadedbackto
myr oom,Luuwentoutsaidhe'dbebacklateronand
Idi
dn'tblamehim.Thishousei sdepr
essi
ngstru'
bob.
AsIstartedpacki
ngintomyspor tsbag,
umntuwam
cal
led:)

Me:
"t
atakaOwent
andonoSi
not
hando"
Hi
m:"
mamakaNt
andoJr
"
Me:
"unqabi
l
e"
Him:
"I
'm af
raidofcal
l
ingononeoft
hosebr
oody
epi
sodeskalok"
Me:
"mmmh"
Hi
m:"
other
wiseni
segr
andnoboy
"?
Me:
"yessi
r"
Hi
m:"
Iheary
ourmom i
sint
heCapeaswel
l
"
Me:
"yeahwel
lkut
shoi
meko"
Hi
m:"
howar
eyoucopi
ngwi
thal
loft
his"
Me:
"t
hebestwayIcan"
Hi
m:"
I'
m sor
ryy
ouhav
etogot
hroughi
tal
one"
Me:
"j
ustmakequi
ckubuy
ebr
aI'
m goi
ngi
nsaneher
e
mi
ssingy
ou"
Hi
m:"
nextweekny
hani
ndi
yabuy
a"
Me:
"youbet
ter
"
Hi
m:"
sowhatar
ethepl
ansf
ort
hisXmasweekend"
?

:
onowmyf earwashi
sreacti
onxandi
mxelel
aI'
m
goi
ngwit
hhisbrot
her
sANDSosot oumt at
aworse
kehedi
dment i
onhedoesn'
tli
keSoso.

Hi
m:"
hm"
?
Me:"
ohuhm. .
.I'
l
lbehonestnehbabebutndcel
a
ungareact
'i
fanipl
s"
Hi
m:"
oh-
kay
"
Me:"
I'
m goi
ngonaweekendi
naf
armhousewi
thLuu
andsomefri
ends"
Hi
m:"l
emmeguess,
thepar
twhereI'
m supposedt
o
r
eactf
unnyi
swheny oument
ionthefr
iendsri
ght
"?
Me:
"somet
hingl
i
ket
hat
"
Hi
m:"
ohhayhambal
ovey
ouneedt
hebr
eak"
Me:"
you'
re.
..
you'
renotgonnaaskwhot
hesef
ri
ends
ar
e"?
Hi
m:"
ha,
a"
Me:
"oh.
..
"

Thenhisbrot
hersmusthav
etoldhim.
..I
fthey
di
d,bandi
ncedi
leshame,
atl
eastIdon'
thavetodeal
wit
hagr umpyNtando.

Hi
m:"
didIt
ell
youIl
ovey
ou"
?
Me:
"noy
oudi
dn'
t"
Him:"ndiyakut
handakesthandwasam.AllIwanti
s
foryout obehappy,t
hat'
sall
.Wecataffor
dyou
drowningi ndi
str
ess,
I'
m gladyou'
renotl
ocki
ng
yourselfupinaroom"
Me:
"ndi
yakut
handanam Nt
andowam"
Him:"Ican'twai
ttoholdyoucl
oseti
l
ldawn,
justt
o
l
istentoy ourbr
eathi
ngandwatchyourf
aceas
you'r
esleepingbeauti
ful
l
yunti
lyouwakeup"
Me:
"soon"
Hi
m:"
ver
ysoon,
Igot
tagonowneh"
Me:
"t
hanksf
ort
hecal
lnana"
Hi
m:"
zophi
ndal
ateronbaba"
Me:
"I
'l
lbewai
ti
ng"
Hi
m:"
shar
p"

Ihungupandpacked.
..
k'
sazobamnandi
!
[
10/
9,19:
15]‪+27730692704‬:
#155

Lateronwhenitwasqui
telate,di
nnert
imendabona
baumnt akwet
huakabuy
indaf ounel
aumntuwam ke
ngokwam cozandazndi
zohlalandenzeni
kul
endlu
i
ngakaingenamntu
Hi
m:"
Nal
i
que"
Me:
"TaBeast
"
Hi
m:"
awkwaznol
i
nda"
Me:
"I
'm homeal
onef
ondi
n"
Hi
m:"
umdal
a"
Me:"
khand'
ncokol
elekemnt
wam,
atl
eastndi
zame
nokoul
alayabo"
Hi
m:"
ndi
kuncokol
ele"
?
Me:
"yessi
r"
Hi
m:"
whatexact
ly"
?
Me:
"Idon'
tknow.
..
any
thi
ng"
Him:"
hai
kodwababewhyungav
eleuf
undei
i
ncwadi
orsomethi
ng"
Me:
"unl
essuzandf
undel
aakhopr
obl
em"
Hi
m:"
babe"
Me:
"l
ove"
Hi
m:"
doy
ouknowwhatt
imei
tisher
e"?
Me:"
Iknowit
sdawnbut
..
.y
ou'
reupal
readyso,
make
gooduseofi
t"
Him:
"heeehowam Isupposedt
olookf
reshwhenI
don'
tgetenoughr
esti
ngti
me"?
Me:"
younevertol
dmey
ou'
regoi
ngonhol
i
daykal
ok
nant
soingxaki
"
Hi
m:"
thi
sismanabuse"
Me:
"babekhawbal
i
set
u"
Him:"
Idon'
thav
est ori
est
otel
l.
..
cal
lKuhleani
ke
umamakheshe'l
ltell
youabedt
imestoryulal
e
ngoku"
Me:
"youdon'
tunder
stand.
..IwantYOUt
otel
li
tto
me,
inyourvoi
ce"
Hi
m:"
yhoheee"

:
v:v
Me:
"I
'm wai
ti
ng"
Hi
m:"
ha.
anamanl
ove"
Me:"mmh,
tel
lmesomet
hing,
whendi
dyouf
indout
aboutmymom"?
Hi
m: "
thatdayyouwer
esleepi
ngover,
awkhumbuli
uvukaebsukuandwentt
ot hebat
hroom xaw'
buy
ai
wasont hephone"
Me:
"ohy
eah.
..
butur
ongoshame"
Hi
m:"
njani
ngok"
Me:
"whydi
dn'
tyout
ell
me"
Hi
m:"
Idon'
tl
ikeseei
ngy
oucr
y"
Me:"
soy oukeptitawayfr
om me,hai
bobabe,
i
fyou
can'
thandlemeonmyweakestsi zotshat
anj
ani
nj
eng'
bauf unakangakautshat
a"
Hi
m:"
yhohai
ke"
Me:"
okayI'
ll
dropitbutnawekeepi
tinmi
nd.
..
uzoba
ngumtshat
oonjanil
owo"?
Hi
m:"
yesmadam"
Me:
"uzuhl
eki
sandi
ser
ious"
Hi
m:"
I'
m al
soser
ious,
youknowwhy?Il
iket
hef
act
t
haty
ou'r
eevenconsi
deri
ngthemar
ri
age"
Me:
"bendt
hemasi
ncokol
e"
Him:"souyancokol
akanje?Babesome
conversat
ionsaresensi
ti
vemany azbabesendi
zo
tr
ansferai
lobolaKuPolongoku"

Ibur
stouty
int
sini
:v:
vyaphambanal
eh

Me:
"heeeur
ightbaby
"?
Hi
m:"
I'
m bei
ngr
eal
"
Me:"
transf
erl
obol
a?Hayuy
and'
di
sregar
d'a
mtchanam"
Hi
m:"ohntondokatat
uSmith,
gowit
hthe
t
imes..
.modernt
echnol
ogyall
owsus"
Me:
"yhuNt
ando!Ihopet
hisi
sjusti
ncokoke"
Nowwashi sturntolaughoutl oud..
.ut
atamaybe
whitebuthe'stooblackf oranyblackmam togo
blackonhim.Heknowst heinsandout soft
he
Xhosacul t
urecozhewor kswi t
hblackpeopl
e,he
l
ivedwiththem...IfNtandoist opaylobol
a
kutata.
..
he'
sinf oralongr un:vstr
u'bob!

Hi
m:'
'
thi
siswhyImi
ssy
ousomuch"
Me:
"yhohaysanauyaxokal
oway
ethedi
stance
makesthehear
tgrowfonder
"
Hi
m:"
hai
bo,
utshokanj
ani
"?
Me:"
wena?Uzobuyasesidi
ki
wet
hina
nomntanam.
..
andi
thinana?"
Hi
m:"
indl
ovuay
isi
ndwangumbokoway
o"
Me:
"t
hatdoesn'
tmeanay
idi
kwa"
Him:"
ndi
zobuy
amanbabe,
nyamezel
anj
ethesef
ew
days"
Me:
"i
tsnotl
i
keIhav
eachoi
cenj
ebabe"
Hi
m:'
'
Ipr
omi
set
omakei
twor
thy
ourwhi
l
e"
Me:
"pi
nkypr
omi
se"
?
Hi
m:"
I'
mtoool
dfort
hat
,uzot
hini
uSi
no"
?
Me:
"pi
nkypr
omi
sebabe"
?
*
sigh:
v*
Hi
m:'
'
yesl
ovepi
nkypr
omi
se"
Me:
"baby
"
Hi
m:"
uh-
oh"
:
vundenzal
ent
o?

Me:
"ul
ali
swanguban"
?
Hi
m:"
lal
andedwaf
ondi
n"
Me:
"good"
Hi
m:"
good?Heeeuy
akhwel
eta"
?
Me:
"t
yhi
nif
ondi
n"

Helaughedatme..
.Ndi
rightt
yhininobandakhwel
eta
:okuzokhwel
etabanxakungazokhwelet
amnanah?
Tchi
nyandgul
elal
oh.

Hi
m: "babeI
'mlikeoceansawayfr
om you,
wena
i
xhalalakhokubandil
ali
swanguban?Hayundt
handa
nyhani"
Me:
"kal
okbabeImustl
ookoutf
ormyasset
s"
Hi
m:"
oh,
ndi
yiassetngoku"
?
Me:
"oh,
uyi
possessi
onke"
?
Him:
"hayhaymamekhay
aandi
yopossessi
onmay
be
kendi
ngayi
yoIasset
"
Me:"
mmmh. ..
Ithi
nkmangikuyekebaba,
Minangsazo
cambal
ala.I
nganeyam i
sikhathel
e"
Hi
m:"wehmameeee!Ngakhambaamav eki
nje
ambal
wawasuphendukaumzulu?Babyawukho
l
oyal
"
:
v
Me:
"babymani
"
Hi
m:"
kant
ing'
qi
nisi
l
e"
Me:"okaykebabegoodmor
ning,
mnandi
funaul
ala
ngoku"
Hi
m:"
goodni
ghtsthandwasam...
getenoughr
est
umnt
anam f
unekaakhulekak'
hl
e"
Me:
"Ineedaf
avor
"
Hi
m:"
any
thi
ng"
Me:
"keepyourphonenear
er.
..
IknowI
'
llwakeup
mi
dnightandcall
youagai
n"
Hi
m:"
ify
oudon'
treachmeI
'
llcal
lyoubackagai
n"
Me:
"ndi
zobesendi
khal
elebyt
hen.
..
pls"
Hi
m:"
what
evert
heQueenwant
stheQueenget
s"
Me:
"l
ovey
ousweet
hear
t"
Hi
m:"
lov
eyoubabe"

Okay .
.Icl
osedmyey esaf t
erlacal
landrevi
sedon
ourgoodday s:vli
keIneededsomet hi
ngt ohelpme
sleepandourbeautifulmemor i
esdidexactl
ythat.I
sleptl
ikeaninfant.
..Icouldn'
twai
tforthejourney
tomorr ow:Dandthef actt
hatIwasgoingoni twith
Lwandi soandournewlyfoundf r
iendswast hemost
exciti
ng...
lol
Iki
ndahadaf eeli
ngNt andosenthis
brotherstokeepmeont hewat chbutIbr ushedi
t
aside,theyseemedli
kelegitandgenui nepeopl
eso
may bet heyonl
yhadfri
endshipmot ives.
[
10/
9,19:
15]‪+27730692704‬:
#156

Thenextdayndavukaandcleanedi
ndluka
mama,Lukemadeusbr eakf
astungandibuziuf
ike
ni
nicoznam andimazi
,
whenIwasdonecl eani
ngI
wenttojoi
nhim wit
hbreakf
astsaty
asobabi ni

Hi
m:"
Iwast
hinki
ng,
hav
eyoubeent
othedoct
ory
et"
?
Me:
"no"
Hi
m:"
youdon'
twantt
ogo"
?
Me:
"I
tsst
il
lear
lyday
s..
."
Hi
m:"
thi
sisy
ourf
ir
stmont
hcount
ing"
?
Me:
"yeahIt
hinkso"
Hi
m:"
mmh.
..
yourf
ri
ends"
?
Me:
"Ihaven'
ttol
danyofthem yet
..
.Iki
ndadohav
ea
f
eel
i
ngt hetwinsknow,
butI'
m notsure"
Hi
m:"t
henyoushoul
dtel
lTit
us,Idon'
tthi
nkhe'l
ll
ike
i
twhensomeoneelsebr
ingsthesubjectup"
Me:
"yout
hinkt
heywoul
d"?
Hi
m:"t
heguys?Whatdoy
ousay
..
.t
heyl
ookl
i
ke
t
hey'
retoof
orwar
d"
Me:"
oh..
.t
henIhavetodayt
otel
lhi
m.Eish.
..
Idi
dn'
t
wantto,
notunt
ili
tgr
owsmay beabit
"
Hi
m:"
itwasj
ustanadv
ice"
Me:"
aval
uedonet
hati
s..
.l
emmecal
lhi
m,may
behe
cancomeover
"
Hi
m:"
I'
ll
leav
eyout
oit
..
.I
'
llbebackaf
terl
unch"
Me:
"uy
aphi
"?

Hel
aughedanddidn'
tanswerme..
.hayinoba
l
ent
okaziy
akhei
laphaemontisozuve.
Ical
l
educhomi
ndi
oyi
kakener
eact
iony
akhe

Hi
m:"
goodmor
ningmi
ssSmi
th"
Me:
'
'nt
wana,
cany
oucomeov
er"
Hi
m:"
hayhay
,andi
kat
yinot
ya"
Me:
"zokwenzel
aukut
yaman"
Hi
m:"
okay
..
.ndi
funaamagwi
nyaandhot
chi
psand-
"
Me:
"uphambeneSososhame"
Hi
m:"
okayndi
yeza"
Me:
"shar
p"

Iateupandwentt othekitchen,Imadescr ambl ed

eggs,Boerwor sandtoastedbr eadforhi m.Imade
him Greeksaladontheside: vbr i
beryyodwal e.His
carhootedout si
dendamv ul
elaandhewal kedupt o
thehouse,wehuggedwahambaway ohlalael ounge,
I
servedhim..
.wewer ealone,thetimingwasr ight.
Sancokolanjeeuntil
hewasdoneeat i
ng
Hi
m:"
isev
ery
thi
ngokay
?Youl
ookner
vous"
Me:
"yeahuhm.
..Ihav
esomet
hingt
otel
lyou"
Hi
m:"
fi
reaway
"
Me:"
buterhm..
.I
'
m afr
aidofy
ourr
eact
ion.Kudal
a
ndi
funaukuxel
elabut
-"
Him:"
soundsser
ious,
thet
hant
wanaman
zandoyi
ki
sangoknam"
Me:
"pr
omi
sey
ouwon'
tj
udgeme"
Hi
m:"Iwon'
tpr
omi
sey
our
ubbi
sh,
i
fIhav
etoIwi
l
l
j
udgeyou"
Me:
"yazbonakeSoso"
Hi
m:"
tyhi
niawnant
loni
,
ufunandi
xoke?Wenzeni
"?
:
o
Me:
"cany
ouj
ustchi
l
l?Andenzangant
o"
Hi
m:"
hm"

Isi
ghedanddeci
dedt
ojustt
ell
him.
..
zobonangoko
mnt
akamah!

Me:
"I
'm pr
egnant
"
Hi
m:"
kengoku"
Me:
"kengoku?That
'
swhatIwant
edt
otel
lyou"
Him:
"whatIdon'
tunder
standi
swhyy
ouactl
i
kei
tsa
deat
hsentence"
Me:
"oh":
/neh?
Hi
m:"
howl
ong"
Me:
"i
tsamont
hol
d..
Ithi
nk"
Him:"
mmh, sobungazondi
xel
elai
fwewer
enotgoi
ng
yothefar
mhouse"?
Me:
"bendsoy
ikar
eact
iony
akho"
Hi
m:"
awmuncumyf
ri
end"
Me:
"ny
hani
"
Hi
m:"
hav
eyout
oldOokuhl
e"?
Me:"
Ithi
nkt
heyknow..
.Ihaven'
tbutumamawabo
knowssoIt
hinkbayayazinabo"
Hi
m:"
oohokay
..
.whatnow"
Me:
"nowwegoandhav eussomefunatt
he
f
armhouse.Phew,
I
'm gl
adIt
oldy
ouyaz"
Hi
m:"
butbendi
yaz"
Me:
"how"
?
Hi
m:"andsemdal
anj
eS'
bongi
l
eforungamazi
umnt
u
omi
thiyo"
Me:
"wai
t.
..
didy
ouj
ustsayS'
bongi
l
e"?

Yhowahl
ekal
omf
o:v:
o

Me:
"hehSoso"
?
Hi
m:"
xol
owet
husi
sTr
ina"
Me:
"heee!
"
Hi
m:"
andi
hloboot
yangal
oisagi
veaway
"
Me:
"hai
keandi
zoy
thi
nil
eyo"
Hi
m:"
doesy
ourboy
fri
endknow"
Me:
"yes.
..
"
Hi
m:"
lont
oandi
maz
imna"
Me:"
youknowhi
m..
.j
ustt
haty
oudon'
tknowba
nguy
elo"
Him:"oh.
..Yhi
ma,don'tt
ell
mey i
l
achapyaf
ika
yazokucelakut
hi t
hatday?Abay
athaty
ousaidar
e
youbr ot
hersfr
iends"
Me:
"t
hat
'shi
m"
Him:
"Heeeee!
!!Hayawshi
siuy
ababamngane
nd'
ncamil
e"
Me:"
thatti
me,wewer
en'tdat
ingqhaebesandi
funa..
.I
fi
nal
lygaveinwhent
hingsdi
dn'twor
koutwi t
hy our
brot
her"
Hi
m:"
awmoy
iki
"?
Me:
"no"
Him:
"i
sn'
theathugorsomething?Whoahwai
t,
he'
s
Kuhl
e'
sbrot
her
?Likebloodbrother
"?
Me:
"Yes"
Hi
m:"
yesnt
oni
nawena"
Me:
"yeshe'
sKuhl
e'
sbr
other
"
Him:
"hayubravent
ombi
yomlungusi
es!Doeshe
knowkengokbasahambanawe?Hedoesseem a
Li
lpossessi
ve"
Me:
"It
hinkhedoes"
Hi
m:"
buty
oudi
dn'
ttel
lhi
myour
sel
f"
Me:
"Sosol
amnt
uknowsev
ery
thi
ng"
Hi
m:"
uphi
"?
Me:
"ov
erseesonbusi
ness"
Hi
m:"butheknowsev er
ythi
ng?Hayl
i
gint
sake
i
ndodakhondik'
xel
ele"
:
v:v

Myphoner
ang.
..
ndaj
ongaKuSoso

Me:
"doesheknowy
ou'
reher
e"
Hi
m:"
who"
?
Me:
"Landi
l
e"
Hi
m:"
khandi
tsho"
Me:
"mmh.
..
hel
l
o"
Laa:
"yhof
ondi
n,
unj
ani
"
Me:
"ndi
rightwena"
Him:"
ndishar
p,bekhendakubonasomet
imeagoqha
ndonqenaukuphazamisa"
Me:
"oooh"
Hi
m:"
canwegoout
?Imean,
j
ustal
i
ghtl
unch"
Me:
"I
'm act
ual
l
ybusy
"
Hi
m:"
thenI
'
llcomeov
er"
Me:
"Ihav
eav
isi
tor
"
Hi
m:"
Tri
nacummon"
Me:"
haycummonmyf oott
yhi
ni,
yi
ntonngokemva
kwam di
dn'tyougett
hemessagengobabsuku
wawundfounele"
?
Hi
m:"
Ineedaf
ri
endIcant
alkt
o,pl
easebr
a''
Me:
"hai
boLaa,
I
'm noty
ourf
ri
end.
..
forgoodness
sakeI'
my ourexandIdon'tneedtoknowwhat'
s
goingoniny ourl
if
e.Tal
ktoyourbrot
her
,t
alkt
oyour
mom, f
indashr i
nkorsomethi
ngbutundiy
ekemna
plsassebl
ieftog"
Hi
m:"SosoandIar
enotspeaki
ng.
..
hecan'
tst
andt
he
si
ghtofme"
Me:
"andwho'
stobl
amef
ort
hat
?"
Hi
m: "
Iam andI'v
eapol
ogizedcount
lesst
imesbut
t
hingsjustbecomeworse"
Me:"wellI
'
m sorr
ythingsarenotgoi
ngwell
for
you.
..
butI'
m notarubbishbi
n.Idon'
thav
etimefor
peopl
ewhoonl yknowy ourwort
hwhentheyar
ein
tr
ouble"
Him:
"that
'swhyIwantedustomeet
..
.Iwanna
apol
ogizefory
onki
ntobra.Pl
s"
Me:"hai
keIdon'
thav
et i
metoday.
..Actual
l
yIdon'
t
thi
nkIhaveti
meatallcozngokndizohambaand
comebackmay beSunday"
[
10/
9,19:
15]‪+27730692704‬:
#157
Hi
m:"
Icanwai
t"

Isighed.
..
lomfanareal
l
ydoesn'
tgeti
t.IDON'
Thave
ti
mef orhim,nott
oday,
notngomsoandprol
lynot
ever!

Me:
"Landi
l
e"
Hi
m:"
Tri
na"
Me:
"t
hisi
smyl
astpl
ea,
please,
please.
..
"
Hi
m:"
okayasi
zot
yaany
thi
ngwe'
l
ljustt
alk"
Me:"
Iforgaveyoualongt
imeagobraIalsofor
gav
e
myselfi
nt hepr
ocess,
moveonwit
hy ourli
fe"
Hi
m:"
evenwheny
ou'
rebackkeawzobanachance"
Me:
"no,
boy
fri
endy
am i
zobesey
buy
il
e"
Hi
m:"
yho"
Me:
"t
hanksf
ort
hecal
l
"

HayIhungup.Landi
l
ebr
ingsoutt
her
udenessi
nme
shame..
.Idon'
tbl
amehim,
buthaykal
okIhadt
ime
forhi
m wabusyaphanguOvayo.

Soso:
"t
hatwashar
sh"
Me:
"uzobonaI
'
m gonnachangemynumber
,akev
a
umntakamamakhoshame"
Hi
m:"uxakwengumqawakhe"
Me:
"haykal
okandi
ngeni
ndawomna"
Hi
m:"
mh"

Aftersomet imeheleftndashi
yekandedwaandI
rested.Ineededtherestsi
nceinafewhourswe'
l
lbe
drivi
ngtoumt ata.
-

Lukewokemeup, Isatupandl
ookedathi m..
.I
'
m not
amor ni
ngpersonneh?AndI'
m alsonotthatki
nda
personwhowakesupandbecomei nst
antl
y
energet
icsoItookmyt i
metoregist
erandcome
backtoli
fe.
..
okokeethet
hayenaandiv
aniksubone
baandimvangoskendici
melengokuathet
hay
o
ndaphi
ndandangqengqangomqolo

Hi
m:"
arey
oul
i
steni
ngt
ome"
Me:
"mh"
?
Hi
m:"
we'r
eleavi
ngi
nanhour
,wakeup.Yourf
ri
ends
ar
edownstai
rs"
Me:
"yho"

Islowlygotof fthebedandwentt othe

bathroom..
.whenIr eturnedhewasnott here.I
decidedtogetdr essedwar ml ysoIworetwopi ece
tr
acksuitwithal ongsl eeveSpencer ,
socksand
sli
ppers:vwe' redrivi
ngour selvesmossoakhoneed
yoswenka. .
.Icheckedmyphone, y
homi ssedcalls
zkaNt andoNkos' y
am : (Ical
ledhim backndhe
pickedupint hef ir
string

hi
m:"
babe"
Me:
"j
ustsawy
ourmi
ssedcal
l
s"
Hi
m:"
Iwasj
ustchecki
ngupony
ou"
Me:
"oh,
thanky
oubabe"
Hi
m:"
ubul
eleorwer
eyoucr
yingagai
n"?
Me:
"bend'
l
eleman"
Hi
m:"
mmh"
Me:"
uhm,t
here'
sahugepossibi
l
itybat
her
e'sno
goodsi
gnalaphosi
yakhona"
Hi
m:"
you'
l
lcal
lmekal
okxaukwi
ndawoenesi
gnal
"
Me:
"okay
"
Hi
m:"
behav
eandenj
oyy
our
sel
f"
Me:
"Iwi
l
l.
..
butt
hatwon'
tst
opmef
rom mi
ssi
ngy
ou"
Hi
m:"
Ilov
eyou"
Me:
"babeuf
unandi
l
il
ewena"
Hi
m:"
Idon'
tmi
ndt
ear
sofj
oynana"
Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oo.
..
Ihav
etogo,
kul
i
ndwemnapha"
Hi
m:"
saf
ejour
ney
"
Me:
"t
hanks"

Ihungupandt ookmybagdown, t
henIret
urnedfor
myhandbagn"nol adycangoanywherewithouta
handbag,
ninzii
ntoengenakwezabag.I
tsl
ikean
emergencykitnt
angam.

Wepackedourbagsi ntoacarappar entl

yhiredby
Lukefort
hist ri
pandt henhegotont hedri
versseat
andweheadedout .Isatatthebackwi thKuhle,
Soso
sati
nthemi ddlerowwi thSihl
e..
.aswewentf ur
ther
on,
Ifel
tsleepish:vhaikal
okbend'lel
esoi bi
sekhona
nj
eintwanaenci ncii
bishi
yekil
esoIj ustl
eanedmy
headonKuhl e'sshoul
derndacimel a

Hi
m:"
Luu"
Luu:
"sup"
Him:
"It
hinkweneedagar
age,
yoursi
sterneedsan
ener
gydrink"
Luu:
"hahaha,
she'
ssl
eepi
ngIguess"
Me:
"I
'm not
"

Isatupandrubbedmyey es,yawnedandchecked
outmymessagesonWhat sAppndakhendancokola
nabantuandbytheti
meIl ookedup,wewerein
mtataplaza:
DIneededthebat hroom soIr
anout
andwentt ot
hetoi
let
satMcDonal d'
s.WhenIcame
backtheguyswereoutsi
det hecarproll
ywait
ingf
or
me

Me:
"er
h..
.supguy
s"?
Si
hle:
"we'
react
ual
l
ywai
ti
ngf
ory
ou"
Me:
"kuy
iwaphi
"?
Luu:
"wewannagr
ababi
te.
..
wher
edoy
ouwanna
eat"
?
Me:
"oh.
..
any
wher
e"

Bandij
ongabonke:/It
urnedar
oundandcheckedout
theshopsinf
rontofus.
Me:
"McDonal
ds"
Kuhl
e:"
sambeni
braz"

Weallheadedtomc'Dandsataroundatabl
easwe
deci
dedonwhatt oeatt
henSosoandKuhlewentt
o
buy,
Lukegotupandwenttocallhi
swomanIwas
l
eftwit
huSi hl
eandthenLi
bhongocall
edme- _
-
hai
keli
bulawoseri
ous

Me:
"l
ow"
Her
:"
hi,
howar
eyou"
Me:
"goody
ou"
Her
:"
I'
m gr
eat
,uhm,
I
'vebeenmeani
ngt
ocal
lyou"
Me:
"youhav
enow"
Her
:"
Iwant
edt
ocl
earsomet
hing"
Me:
"r
egar
ding"
??
Her
:"
thatday
,af
terchur
ch"
Me:
"t
yhi
nit
hiza!Hayni
bul
ewengam ni
na"
Her
:"
Ijustwanttomakesomethingcl
ear
,Icansee
t
hatlaminiaf
fect
edyourf
ri
endshipnoVi
nceina
massiveway"
Me:
"Li
bo"
Her
:"
yes"
Me:
"t
herewasnostorm orf
ogt
hatday
,ev
ery
thi
ng
wascl
ear,
i
sclearev
ennow."
Her:
"ngxakikalokVi
ncenowblamesf ormy
i
nsecuri
ties,saysIr
uinedIf
ri
endshi
py enu"
Me:"
I'
ll
repeatwhatIsaidtohi
m, boundar
ies.
..He'
s
mybrotheri
n-lawr
ight?Leti
tstaythatwaycacilesi
gr
andloway "
Her
:"
oh-
kay
"
Me:"Ir
eall
ydon'
tunder
standyouguysshame.Fi r
st
I
'mt heonespendi
ngmor eti
mewi t
hhim,nowI'm out
ofthepict
urebutI
'
m sti
llani
ssue.I
thi
nikant
ilento
yenu"?
Her
:"
I'
m sor
ryf
orbot
her
ingy
oubr
a,ser
ious"
Me:
"t
hanky
ou"
Her
:"
shar
p"

Shehungup.
..
Sihl
elookedatme,
Idi
dn'
tmov
ean
i
nch.

Hi
m:"
VincenoLi
boabandi
bazi
yo"
?
Me:
"yeah"
Hi
m:"
ntonngxaki
"?
Me:
"ndi
m"
Hi
m:"
how"
Me: "
wellIbecamef r
iendswithVincenotknowing
he'syourbrother
,t
omakeal ongstoryshort,
our
fr
iendshi
pseemedt obeaffecti
ngt hei
rrel
ati
onshi
p
sobhut'wakhosai dmasiyekeubazi f
ri
ends"
Hi
m:"
andy
oudi
d"
Me:
"Iwasn'tgoingto,
butVi
ncenay ewat
shosoI
t
houghtIshouldn'tf
orcet
heinev
itabl
e"
Soso:
"what
'si
nev
itabl
e"
Me:
"oh-
hoo":
v

Theysatdownwit
hthef
oodandweindulgedsonke
andheadedbackt
othecaranddr
ovest
raightt
othe
far
m.
[
10/
9,19:
16]‪+27730692704‬:
#158

Wear r
ivedatthefarmhousesakhawlel
wazizi
nja>_
<
Vuyisi
l
eandhi swifeMiyol
acameoutt omeetus,we
gotoutandhuggedt hentheyhelpeduswit
hour
l
uggageasweal l
wenttot hemainrondav
eland
werewel comedwithhotoxtai
lsoupandhome
bakedbread:pohJesus!

Uncl
e:"
you'
vegr
ownsomuchTr
inal
i
que"
Ij
ustsmi
l
ed
Luu:
"andsoonshe'
l
lbeout
growi
nghersi
ngl
ebed"
Kwahl
ekwa:
v:v

Luuinduct edtheintr
oductioncozguy sazazi wa
apha,whenwewer edoneIhel pedMi yocl eanup
thenwewer etakentoourhouseandof cozt heyall
sharedar oom butIwasgi v enasepar ater oom :(the
downsi deofbeingaf emaleke, Iundressedandwor e
myPJsandacoatsomehowt hisplacef eltli
ke
winterthenIwentbackoutj ustt oseethef armin
thedar knessofthenight,
Iwal kedashor tdi stance
andf oundar ocktositonndahl alaphaandhummed
my selfaChristmascarol.They '
v ekeptthisf arm
i
ntactshame.

Hi
m:"
you'
veal
way
slov
edt
hatr
ock"

Luucamet
osi
tnextt
ome

Me:
"pi
tywel
efthal
foft
hef
ami
l
ybehi
nd"
Hi
m:"
yeahwel
l
"
Me:
"dot
heyknowaboutmom anddad"
?
Hi
m:"
yes"
Me:
"hopey
oudi
dntt
ell
them aboutme"
Hi
m:"
Idi
dn'
t"
Me:
"t
hanks"

Wesatt
her
einsi
l
ence.
..

Me:
"whohel
pedy
ouwi
thl
obol
anegot
iat
ions"
Hi
m: "
uncl
eVee,
dadandt
woot
herf
armowner
sfr
om
Kl
erksdor
p"
Me:
"sodadknows"
?
Hi
m:"y
eahbutI
'
vebeensav
ingupmoneyf
ort
he
whi
teweddi
ngandanewhome"
Me:
"soy
ou'
l
lbesel
l
ingy
ourhouse"
?
Hi
m:"onl
ybecauseshewannal
iv
einDur
bansowe'
re
st
il
ll
ooki
ngforahousether
e"
Me:
"mmmh"
Him:"
butI'
vebeenmeaningt
ospeaktoMarcand
Keri
..
.i
fIgetmarr
iedmaybenexty
ear
,Ican'
tsel
lthe
housebecauseofyouandEve"
Me:
"Icanr
egi
steri
nRes"
Him:"
no,we'l
lhavetoworkt
oget
herandr
entf
ory
'al
l
unti
lyouleavevarsi
ty"
Me:
"mmmh"

Wej ustchill
edf oracoupl eofmi nutesthenwebot h
walkedi nsi
def oragoodni ghtsrest.Thefoll
owing
mor ningsavuswazi inkukhu: v:vli
keziqalephaa
ngoo1kwadekwasaIwokeupf i
rstandwent
outsidendaf i
kakubasi we,someoft hehelperswer
e
alr
eadyf eedingt hechickensandpi gs:DIcanbet oo
for
war datti
mes, sowhenIsawaguymi lkingacowI
wentf orth,
Iwant edtoseemos.

Me:
"mor
ning"
Hel
i
ftedhi
sheadandsmi
l
ed.
..
lol
Idi
dn'
tgoi
nsi
de
t
hekr
aal
:oandi
l
ogezamna:
v

Hi
m:"
mor
ning,
youmustbeoneoft
heSmi
ths"
Me:
"gott
hatr
ight
,t
henamei
sTr
inal
i
que"
Him:"
nicet
omeety
ouMi
ssSmi
th,
I
'm Kev
in,
butt
hey
cal
lmeVelil
e."

Il
aughed.
.f
rom Kev
int
oVel
i
le?
Hi
m:"
youknowhowuncl
eVeecanbe"
Me:
"you'
recol
ored"
?
Hi
m:"
hahay
oucoul
dsayt
hat
,howi
syourdad"
Me:
"uhm.
..
hangi
ngi
nther
e"
Hi
m:"
bestr
ong,
forhi
m.Wear
ekeepi
ngy
ourf
ami
l
y
i
nourpr
ayer
s"
Me:
"t
hanks"

Ndabukel
aforsomet
ime.
..
Hi
m:"
wannat
ryt
hisout
"?
Me:
"haha,
not
hanks"
Hi
m:"
ohcummon,
youcandoi
t"
Me:
"I
'l
lpr
obabl
ytr
ybutnott
oday
"
Hi
m:"
oohokay
"

Aft
erhewasfi
nished,
hewalkedi
nsi
deIwalkedover
towatcht
heher
dsment henSosoandSi
hlejoi
ned
me

Me:
"sl
eptwel
l
"
Soso:
"ver
y"
Sihl
e:"
butweshoul
dfi
ndsomeadv
ent
ure.
..
go
hunti
ngorsomethi
ng"
Me:
"hunt
ing?Mi
nusme"
Soso:
"oh-
hooo,
we'
l
lfi
ndadam andgof
oraswi
m
ke"
Me:
"Sosocan'
tyouf
eel
thet
emper
atur
e"?
Si
hle:"
eyosi
ncedakubasi
mshi
yeaphausi
stazand
gofindanadventur
e"
Soso:
"orsomkaaphasi
ngakhangesenzeni
ki
si"

:
vIl ef
tthem st andi
ngthereandwentt ofet
chwater
fr
om t hefir
eplaceandwentt obathinabasin
eroomi nyam thenIgotdr essedinkneelengthcar
go
pants,l
ongsleev eT-shi
rtandbl ackchucks,
myhairin
amessybunt henIwentt othrowawayt hewater.
ThenIj oi
nedt hefamilyforbreakfast,
everyone,
includingababendi bashiy
ephandle,
was
al
readyar oundt hetabl
e

Me:
"mol
weni
"

Bavuma,
Isatdownandhelpedmy sel
fkwi
porr
idge
wit
hbutt
er,sugarandsal
t.
..
Iindul
ged:
pohGod!
Mi
yo:
"sowhatar
eyoudoi
ngnowTr
inal
i
que"
Me:
"er
hm.
..I
'
minmyf
ir
sty
earma"
Her
:"
andEv
ely
n"
Me:
"she'
sinhersecondy
ear
"
Her:
"t
hat
'sgood.
.Luke,
wheni
sMar
cuspl
anni
ngt
o
getmarr
ied"
?

Saj
onganasahl
eka:
v

Luu:
"ayauntIdon'
tknow"
Her
:"
he'
snotget
ti
nganyy
ounger
"
Luu:
"heknowst
hat
..
.butIdon'
tthi
nkhe'
samar
ri
age
materi
al"

Haikekwancokol
walendabayomtshatoi
sdal
aoko
oko,whenweweredoneIcoll
ectedthedi
shesand
tookthem t
othekit
chencozIwantedtowash
them,uncl
eVeestoppedmecabakuqeshiweapha
abant
uforcert
ainj
obs:)haike.Whenever
yonewas
donewegotinthetruckandheadedtothe
super
marketstobuyukutyakwemfuyo.
[
10/
9,19:
16]‪+27730692704‬:
#159

Whenwer eachedthesupermarket
smyphone
fl
oodedwithmessageswor sekhandi
mfouneleno
babeokondfiki
l
eapha.Ireadandansweredthem al
l
thenIwenttositi
nthetr
uckandcal l
edubhutka
Kuhle.
..

Hi
m:"
mmh"
Me:
"ul
alanj
ani
ndi
hlel
i
"
Hi
m:"
hm"
?
Me:
"khawv
uke"

Ihear
dsomeshuf
fl
ingont
hebackgr
ound.
..
Hi
m:'
'
yhoawnqabe"
Me:
"i
tsonl
ybeenadaybabe"
Hi
m:"nothear
ingyourvoi
ceforevent
hreehour
sis
t
ort
urekhawbalekeiihour
szosuku"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ry"
Hi
m:"
Iunder
stand,
sohow'
smt
ata"
Me:"
well
we'
reatt
hemar
ket
sbuy
ingf
oodf
ort
he
ani
mals"
Hi
m:"
ani
mal
s"?
Me:
"yes.
..
ohwai
t,
imf
uyobabe"

Yhoy
ahl
ekal
echap:
v:v

Hi
m:"
mmh,
ni
zokwenzani
obuy
akwenu"
Me:"
Idon'
treal
l
yknow,
ababant
uwannagoonsome
adv
entur
e"
Hi
m:"
don'
tov
erdoi
tiny
ourcondi
ti
on"
Me:
"Iknow"
Hi
m:"
I'
mjustr
emi
ndi
ngy
ou"
Me:
"yessi
r.
..
Ihav
etogof
uthi
,
nababebuy
a"
Hi
m:"
enj
oy"
Me:
"t
hanky
ou"

Ihungup..
.t
heyloadedthet
ruckthenKuhl
ewas
giventodr
ivesi
nceefunaIadventur
esohewas
taughthowtodri
veat r
uck:
or i
skangobomibet
huna
apha!!
!

Whenwer eachedhomet heboy swentt ofet

ch
waterfrom t hedams, Ijoinedsomegi r
lswhower e
cookingj ongamyi nterestonl ygr ewwhenIr eali
zed
thatthere'saf atchanceIcoul dbemar ri
edtoapure
Xhosaf ami l
ysoIr eal lyhadt olearnal otwhi
leI'
m
sti
llhere.Wewer ecooki ngf ortheher dsman,the
buil
dersandt heotherpeopl einthef arm..
.whenI
wasbor edhereIwentt of induncl eVeeandf ound
him atmangerf eedingaf oal:)
Me:
"howol
dishe"
Hi
m:"
thr
eemont
hs.
..
buthe'
sver
yst
rong"
Me:
"st
rongenought
ocar
ryme"
?
Hel
aughed
Hi
m:"v
eryst
rong,
but
..
.y
ouwouldn'
tmanage.Come
f
oll
owme,I'
l
llety
ouri
deadonkey"
Me:
"ar
ghkodwaadonkeyi
snotf
astnj
euncl
eVee"
Hi
m: "
awkwazkuqal
akwihasheungazange
wal
ikhwel
angophambi
li
"
Me:
"ohkayIguessakuf
ani
"

Hechuckledashehelpedmeupthedonkeyandhe
rodehi
sownsahambadownt ot
hedamswher ethe
boysweresafi
kabequbha,
Idemount
edthedonkey
andwalkeddowntothedams

Me:
"adv
ent
ureneh"
?
Soso:
"nt
wana.
..
jongal
amnt
ana"
Me:
"omphi
"
Soso:
"wi
thar
edbucket
"
Me:
"oohndambona.
..
shel
ookspr
ett
y"
Soso:
"guesswhohashernumber
"?

Il
ookedathi
m andscr
eamed:
vhe'
scr
azy
!!
!Super
cr
azy!
!!:
v

Soso:
"nowt
hat
'sanadv
ent
uremydear
"
Si
hle:
"youcanr
ideadonkey
"?
Me:"
uncl
eVeei
steachi
ngme.
..
Iact
ual
l
ywant
eda
hor
se"
Si
hle:
"yho,
that
'sdanger
ous"
Me:
"andadv
ent
urous"
Si
hle:
"wher
e'suncl
eVeenow"
?

Wealll
ookedar
oundasambona.
..Si
hlespot
tedhi
m
acr
ossthedam samy
ekakesancokol
ani.Whenhe
r
etur
nedhegav
eushoneyst
il
li
nit
ssocket
!

Soso:
"nowt his.
.thi
siswhatIcal
ladventure.
Beauti
fulAfri
canwomendownt hestream,warm
dam watercoolingyoudownandf i
nally,
eati
ngreal
honeystr
aightfrom theor
igi
nalmanuf act
urer.
.the
QueenBeei tsel
f"

Lolwewereinsti
tches:
v:vwealli
ndulged,
yazu
Lukewashisfi
rstti
meseeingsosointhi
scrazy
zoneandhewasappal l
edatti
mesbutIwassur e
he'
sgonnagetusedt ot
hiscr
azypersona.

Uncle:"
we'
ll
leaveyoutoy
ourAfri
canadv
ent
ure
boys,wehavereal
advent
urest
ochase"
Soso:
"aaaawmal
umet
hina"
?
Uncl
e:"
ogqi
bakwenuamanzi
labeni
zowakhay
ou
canj
oinus"
:
vwer odeourdonkey st owardst heplantati
ons
ndabonal ivefr
uithangi ngont rees:Dhahaha
soundsl ame?Ohwel l!NowI '
m notv erycluel
ess
okay?I 'vebeent ofarmsbef oresowhenIsawgr een
applesandguav asont reesIgav ehim myphonet o
takepi cturestheni cl
imbedupt hetresslol
wandi hlekal ot
atacabauci mbaI 'm cl
ueless..
.me?
Uyadlal a.Iswungbet weent reeslikeTarzaninthe
j
ungl emnt akadad,Ifeltinmycomf ortzonephof
swingingbet weentreesIhadmymout handpockets
full
wi thf r
uits.
..

Uncle:
"hêheee!HehntombikaSmi
th,
ufundi
swe
ngubanukhwel aemit
hini
"
Me:
"Iusual
l
ygowi
thdadt
othef
armsi
nKl
erksdor
p"
Uncl
e:"
it
sshows,
you'
regoodatwhaty
oudo"

Iswunguntil
theotherendoft heforestt
henI
walkedaswer eachedtheothersidethenwe
crossedt
heriverandwalkedupt hemount ai
n:Dand
whenIlookedback,Isawthebeaut yofnatur
e..
.t
he
realbeaut
yhaylebeaut
yi bonwenguSosoedamini
:v.Igaveuncl
emyphoneagai nandhet
ookpict
ures
ofmef reeandl
ightspi
ri
tedthenwesatdownanat e
thefrui
twehadpicked

Hi
m:"
yourdadi
sagoodman"
Me:
"Ij
ustwi
shhecoul
drecov
er"
Hi
m:"
mysonwentt
oseehi
m assoonashel
anded
i
nCapeTown"
Me:
"het
hinkshe'
l
lrecov
er"
?
Him:"hedi
dn'
tsaymuch.
.he'
snotav
eryout
spoken
personinhi
snatur
e"
Me:
"mmmh"

Hewalkeddownt heopposi
teside,
Ithinkhewentt o
checkoutsomesheept hatwasst uckinathor n
bushItookmyphoneandsentbaeonepi cturethat
wasjusttooperfectwhil
eIswungbet weent wo
tr
eesyhowaf ounangokuuNt andoev utha
ngumsindo
Me:
"babe"
Hi
m:"
don'
ttel
lmey
ouwer
eswi
ngi
ng"
Me:
"i
twasj
ustf
orashor
twhi
l
e"
Hi
m:"
S'bongi
l
e"
Me:
"yho"
Him:
"needIremi
ndy
outhedangersandimpli
cat
ions
you'
reput
ti
ngmychi
ldi
nngojingaemithi
niumit
hi"
?
Me:
"ohcum-
"
Him:"
don'tyoutel
l metocummon!Don'
tyou
dare.
..
haveyouev eracci
dent
all
ysl
i
ppedfr
om at
ree?
Fel
l?Hurtyoursel
f?"
Me:
"no"
Him:"
owakwakhouzokhal
elaban?Haymankhawbe
consi
der
atef
ondi
n"

Idi
dn'
thav
eanythi
ngtosay.
..
hehungup.Nam
ndat
hul
andabukaubuhl
ebal
endawondikuy
o
qha..
.whenuncl
er et
urnedwer odeourdonkeysand
ret
urnedhomewher eIwentst r
aightt
omyr oom and
gotinbed.Undi
khathazil
eshameunt andostr
u'bob.
Aft
eraf ewminutesafterIwentint
omyr oom kuhle
cameknocking,
Ididn'
tanswerhim hejustopened
mydoorandcamet ositdownonmybed

Hi
m:"
hey
,youokay
"
Me:
"yes"
Hi
m:"
cummonTee"
Me:
"I
'mf
ineKuhl
eIj
ustneedt
orest
"
Hi
m:"
okay
,wi
l
lyouj
oinusf
orl
unch"
Me:
"yes"

Hegotupandl eftndosul
anyembezi zam
ndazi
qothafuthi
ndalalaandIactual
l
yf el
lasl
eep.
Aft
ersomet i
mesomeoneshookmeupndav ula
amehloonlytoseeSihlesmil
ing
Me:
"hm"
Hi
m:"
youmi
ssedl
unch"
Me:
"I
'm nothungr
y"
Hi
m:"
buty
ouhav
en'
teat
enal
lday
"
Me:
"Iat
efr
uit
"

Hesighedandlookedatmesympatheti
cal
l
y..
.Isat
upandlookedatmy sel
fint
hemi
rror,
oneofmyey es
wasred.

Hi
m:"
wer
eyoucr
yinh"
?
Me:
"whywoul
dI"
Hi
m:"
Idontknow"
Me:
"pl
easeexcuseme"

Hegotupandleftme..
.Isear
chedmybagf ort
he
mini
emergencykitIal
wayskeepandIfoundeye
dr
opsndazi
fakaandf i
xedmysel
fthenIwentoutto
f
etchhotwatercozmyfeetwereswol
len,whenIgot
waterIr
etur
nedbacktomyroom andmi xedthe
wateri
ntoabasin.
..Mi
yol
awalkedinwit
hsaltand
r
ubbingoint
ment.

Her
:"
mixt
hissal
ttot
hatwat
er"
Me:
"t
hanks"
Her
:"
andr
ubt
hiswheny
ou'
redone"
Me:
"t
hanky
ou"

Sheputt
heoi
ntmentdownandst
oodbyt
hedoor
..
.

Me:
"i
khonangxaki
aunt
y"
Her
:"
youshoul
dn'
tov
erdoi
t"
Me:
"i
twasj
ustami
norhi
ki
ng"

Shesmil
ed.
..
ri
ghti
nthatsmi
l
eIknewsheknew
somet
hing.
Her
:"
heisexci
tedt
oshowy
out
hingsandpl
acesthat
hewoul
d'v
elovedt
oshowt
ohi
sowndaughter"
Me:
"I
'm mor
ethankeent
oseet
hosepl
acest
oo"
Her:
"iknowbutyouhavetothi
nkofy
our
sel
fmy
dear
..
.hemightnotseei
t,
butIdo"
Me:
"seewhataunt
y"
Her
:"
thaty
ou'
reheav
y"
Me:
"heav
y"?

Shesatdownontheedgeofmybedandt
ookmy
feetmassagi
ngt
hem

Her
:"
Icanseey
ou'
repr
egnant
"
Me:
"oh.
..
wow.ButThebumpi
snotev
enshowi
ngy
et
"
Her
:"
yourbr
east
s,f
eetandappet
it
e"
Me:
"yho"
Her:"
you'
l
l havetot
onedownabi tcozyouseem l
i
ke
you'r
einthemostdelicat
etimesinwhi
chyourbaby
needsall
t heatt
ent
ioninordert
ogrowint
oastrong
being"
Me:
"okayma"

Afterr ubbingmyf eetsheleftme..

.Iwentt ot hr
ow
thewat erawayndabuy el
aer oominandr ested,
I
couldn' tshowmyf aceeloungeagai n,
whati fshe
toldherhusband?Hewon' tlookatmel i
kehedi d
mos. ..Mxm, zint
ozophaphakenezi .Iplayedmusi c
onmyphonekwangenauSoso, hepul ledone
earplugout t
amyearndamj ongaashewal kedover
tomywi ndowandopenedt hecurtainthatwas
closed

Hi
m:"
kubhubheban"
Me:
"huh"
?
Hi
m:"
uskewasi
zi
laokoobuy
ekwi
adv
ent
urekal
ok"
Me:
"mxm I
'
mti
red"
Him:"
oohm.
..
yourmansay
shecan'
treachy
ouon
phone"
Me:
"hecal
l
edy
ou?Wher
edi
dhegety
ournumber
"?
Hi
m:"
nope,
hecal
l
edYOURbr
other
"
Me:
"oh"
Hi
m:"
het
oldhi
myou'
resl
eepi
ng"
Me:
"andIdon'
thav
esi
gnal
her
e"
Hi
m:"
hav
eyout
ri
edsear
chi
ngf
ori
t?"

Heusedhi sphonet onav i

gateandhef oundi ton
topofmyheadboar dpostndabekaey am andt he
messagesf l
oodedi n,Iwasn'tgonnaanswerNt ando
yaz.
..
nottodayundikhat hazegqithasogqibakwakhe
hesendsmessagescel auxoloblahblahblahl i
ke
cummonnow, IknowI 'm pregnantbutbeingaLi l
i
nsensit
ivewasn'tgonnai mpregnateme. .
sowas
l
ivi
ngalitt
le.NdahlalanoSososancokol auntilI
wantedtosleepagai n,wandishiy
aandIkepthear i
ng
myphonev i
brati
ngcozndi yi
fakeKusilent.
..
Atsomepoi ntIwaswokenupy i
levibr
ati
on
ndazi
ncamaandanswer edhim cozakancami qha
ntoayenzay
ouy andi
ngxol
elangalephone.
..
Ijustput
thephoneonmyearandl i
stenedtohim

Hi
m:"
babe"
-
cwaka-
Hi m:
"Iknowy ou'r
ether e.
..
look,
Iknowy
ouwentover
thereforabreakbuty ouhav et
oconsi
dert
he
conditi
onyou'reinrightnowawkwazuv el
euji
ngeon
treesli
keanei ghtyearold"

-
yawn-

Hi
m:"Iwon'
tapol
ogizeforl
ooki
ngoutfory
ouand
r
epri
mandingyouforyourownsaf
ety"
Me:
"ut
shoxaugqi
bil
e"
Hi
m:"
S'bongi
l
e"
Me:
"t
ata"
Him:
"I
'm bei
ngrealhere,
I'
m sor
ryyesi
fIhur
tyoubut
nawekhawuyici
ngelentouyenzay
o"

Ijustputmyphonet her
eont hepi
llowandlefti
t
thereesat
hethaIwasn'tgonnali
stentohim,he'
s
hurti
ngmyf eel
ingsandpurposel
yr ui
ningmyXmas!
[
10/
9,19:
19]‪+27730692704‬:
#160

Miyol
acall
edmet
otheki
tchen,
Ihel
pedherpr
epar
e
supper
..
.

Her
:"
youshoul
dn'
tst
andf
orl
onghour
s"
Me:
"Icanpeel
thev
egwhi
l
esi
tt
ing"

Itookthev eggi
esandsatdownndapeel
i
sha
ke..
.sancokolanj
esomelightst
uff
.

Me:
"howmanychi
l
drendoy
ouhav
e"
Her
:"
one,
ourson"
Me:
"t
heonei
nCapeTown"
?
Her
:"
yes.
..
hehaday
oungersi
ster
"
Me:
"whathappenedt
oher
"

Shebecameuncomf or
tablef
orasecond.
..
she
att
endedtoherpot
sandi dn'
tanswerme.Iwasn'
t
gonnapush

Her:
"shedi
edofhear
tfai
l
urewhenshewassi
x
year
s"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ry"
Her
:"
iti
sGod'
swi
l
l"
Me:
"whydi
dn'
tyout
ryagai
n"
Her:
"Icoul
dn'thandl
ethepai
n,
sti
l
lcan'
t.GuessI
'
m
st
il
ltraumati
zed"
Me:
"t
imeheal
s"
Her
:"
Iknow.
..
didhet
akey
out
othef
rui
ttr
ees"
?
Me:
"yes"
Her
:"
that
'swhereheusedtot
akeher,
upthe
mountai
ntothewater
fal
lont
heothersi
de"
Me:
"wehav
en'
tbeent
othewat
erf
all
justy
et"
Her
:"
youwi
l
l.
..
he'
l
ltakey
ouI
'
m sur
e"

Wakhewat
hul
a..
.

Me:
'
'pl
sdon'
ttel
lhi
m mycondi
ti
on"
Her
:"
asl
ongasy
oupr
omi
segot
akei
teasy
"
Me:
"Ipr
omi
se"

Kuhlewal
kedi
ntal
ki
ngonphone-_
-Iknewngu
Ntandomynosest
art
edt
wit
chingIcheeki
me
ngenyawo

Hi
m:"
Tee.
..
ohaunt
yI'
m sor
ryt
odi
stur
b"
Her
:"
nopr
obl
em,
Ial
sohav
etof
etcht
hemeat
..
.i
za
ndi
l
andel
eIneedagasf
rom t
heot
herhouse"

Shewentwithhi m,It
ookKuhle'
sphonendasabel
a..
I
wasbeggingmy sel
ftobecal
my az,
Iwassooo
beggi
ngmy selftogethispoi
nt.
..
Idi
dn'twannafi
ght
wit
hhim especiall
ynotwhil
ehe'ssofarawayfr
om
home.

Hi
m:"
S'bongi
l
e"
Me:
"mh"
Hi
m:"
suy
enzal
ent
ouy
enzay
o"
Me:
"kay
"
Hi
m:"
S'bongi
l
e"
Me:
"mh"
Hi
m:"sukuy
enzal
ent
ouy
enzay
o..
.awzot
handaxa
i
senz
iwandim"
Me:
"sur
e"
.
.si
l
ence.
..

Me:
"wast
her
eany
thi
ngel
se"
?
Him: "y
es,khayekeubasensi tivemani yandidika
ser i
ousl ynowl entoy akho.Iadv iceyouon
somet hing,f
orYOURowngoodandIbecomet he
badguycozy ourtearsar eEv ereadypowerpl us
bat terykanomat hotholo.IfIdon' tt
ellyouwhat '
s
wr ongt henI '
ml eadingy ouast rayandr ightnow, I
don' thav ethetimenorener gytoentertainyour
sil
linesssoy oubet t
ergety ouracttoget herandact
yourage, actl
ikeawomanwho' scarryi
ngMYson, act
l
ikeanadul t
.Takeadv iceli
keanadul tandst op
play ingstupidemot ional games"

I
'dbel
yi
ngifIsaidndi
mv i
l
eshame:
vbutwhenhe
wasqui
et,
Ijustanswer
ed:

Me:
"sur
e"
Hi
m:"
ndi
zobuy
aandobuy
akwam uzobuy
anawe
kul
oomt
ata"
Me:
"uy
abuza"
?
Hi
m:"
ndi
yakuxel
ela"

Ichuckl
ed

Him:"
akhoneedyobobubhanxaubenzayo,
youwil
l
comebackunless,
youwantallatt
ent
iondrawnto
youcozIdon'
tminddriv
ingtherendi
zokut
hatha
ngokwam xakunzi
mauzibuyela"
Me:
"what
evermakesy
ouhappy
"
Hi
m:"
hehS'
bongi
l
e"
Me:
"Ihav
etogo"
Hi
m:"
andi
kagqi
biut
het
ha"
Me:
"wel
lI'
m busy
"
Hi
m:'
'
okay
..
.Il
ovey
ou"
Me:
"kay
"
Ihungup.
..
comet othi
nkofityesIwaswr ong:/but
coul
dn'
thehavejustexpl
aineditt
ome?I nsteadof
baandi
shawutheokomntwanaonaei ghtyears.

Wast hatnecessary?Enyi
nt oengathizondi
dikasoon
yi
leyongahlulibet
weenbei ngmymanandmydad- _
-heisNOTmydad!Wher et hehell
doeshegett he
ri
ghttoscoldme?Tchi n.Hecal l
edagain
ndabesendinawonomsi ndwanakanci ncikenhokbut
nangokundi y
azamauzi qokel el
amanokwel ady

Me:
"Nt
ando"
Hi
m:"
udi
kwey
int
onkengok"

Iwasgonnaanswert
hatone.
..
unl
essIwantedt
o
sl
eeponabrokenhear
tsondavel
andathul
a.

Hi
m:"
uphi
uKuhl
e"?
Me:
"he'
sout
"
Hi
m:"
outwher
e"
Me:
"Idon'
tknow"
Hi
m:"
buty
ouhav
ehi
sphone"

Isi
ghedandcont
inuedwi
tht
hev
eget
abl
es

Hi
m:"
tel
lhi
mtocal
lme"
Me:
"sundi
nyanzel
akal
ok"
Hi
m:"
plst
ell
himt
ocal
lme"
Me:
"kay
"

Wathul
a..
.washewai
ti
ngformetohangup?Iwasn'
t
goi
ngto,
hecall
edmakabekeIphone.
Ididmybusinesssti
l
lli
steni
ngt
ohi
sbr
eat
hingon
thephoneakathet
hiqha

Hi
m:"
baby
"
Me:
"mh'
'
Hi
m:"
cel
aundf
ounel
exauy
olal
a"
Me:
"why
"
Hi
m:"
Ineedt
otal
ktoy
oukak'
hl
e"
Me:
"hmmm"
Hi
m:"
please"
Me:
"kay
"
Him:
"ndi
yakuthandaS'
bongi
leandwhatev
erI
'm
doi
ngorsayingisfory
ourbenefi
tint
heend"
Me:
"kay
"
Hi
m:"
uzof
ouna"
?
Me:
"hm"
Hi
m:"andazikenobauyav
umaor
uy
asabela,
uzofouna"
?
Me:
"yes"
Hi
m:"
okayI
'
llwai
tup"
Me:
"sur
e"
Hi
m:"
shar
p"

o.
Oo-
kay
..
.

Aunt yreturnedsaphekakeny hani ,

shedi shedupI
hel
pedt oser veandIgav eKuhl ehi sphoneonl y
for
gott ot ellhimtocal lhi
sbr other .
..
tr
ulyf orgot
shame.Weat earoundt het ableandwhenwewer e
donet heboy swashedt hedi shes: vunclemadean
openf ir
eandweal l dressedwar ml yandwentt osit
outsideatt hef i
replacewi thapacketof
mar shmal lowseachandwer oast edthem ont he
openf ir
esi mamel euVuy isileesi bali
selaamabal i
.:
D
okosi hlekawewentt obedpastt wel v
eandkengok
whileout sidewedi dn' ttakeal ongourphones: /only
whenwewentbacki nsi
dedi dIt hinkofNt ando.I
wentt omyr oom andgoti nbed, diall
edhi snumber
andcal ledhim. .
.

Hi
m:"
hey
,you'
rest
il
lup"
Me:
"yes"
Hi
m:"
youknowy
oushoul
dgetenoughr
estr
ight
"

Ir
oll
edmyey
es:
vev
eni
fakandi
boni
wet
hu

Me:
'
'yousai
dIshoul
dcal
l
"
Hi
m: "
myguessi
sukhat
hazeki
l
ebysomeoft
he
t
hingsIsai
dear
li
er"
Me:
"mmh"
Him:
"andasIt
oldy
ouIwon'
tapol
ogi
zef
orl
ooki
ng
outf
oryou"
Me:
"hm"
Him:"
butIwi
l
lapol
ogi
zef
orhur
ti
ngy
ourf
eel
i
ngs,
I
'm
sorr
y"
Me:
"ooh"
Him:
"nant
soenyi
ntothatIdon'
tl
ike,
uvel
eut
het
he
onewordsent
ences"
Me:
"sor
ry"
Hi
m:"
babyman"
Me:
"hm"
Him:"khawthet
he,
scr
eam,shoutIdon'
tknow.Butdo
whatev ery
ouwannado..
.yenzai
sthukut
hezil
ento
yakho"
Me:
"xol
o"
Hi
m:"Idi
dn'
tsayapol
ogi
zeIsaidt
alk,
expr
essy
our
f
eel
ings,
don'
tbot
tlet
hem up"
:
v
Me:
"goodni
ghtbabe"
Hi
m:"
wow!Justl
i
ket
hat
"
Me:
"nt
onngoku"
Him:"
we'retal
kingher ewenauthigoodni
ght
,kant
iI
communi cati
ony enzelwentoni
ifwe'
renotgonna
haveiti
nt hi
srelati
onship"
?

-
yawn-
Hi
m:"
great
"
Me:"
yazbabe,
you'
rest
art
ingtogetonmyner
vesl
i
ke
Vi
ncentandLi
bhongoanditsnotcut
e"
Hi
m:"
thankyouforopeni
ngy
ourmout
hnoba
ut
het
haububhanxa"

Ichuckled>_<hayuNtandouphuphengam
str
u'bob..
.Okoendi
hlel
enamhlanj
e.

Hi
m:"
S'bongi
l
e"
Me:
"Nt
ando"
Hi
m:"t
hisisthelastti
meI'
m sayi
ngthi
s..
.don'
tdo
l
ent
ouy enzayo,
ayizobamnandi
xaisenzi
wandim"
Me:
"kay
"
Hi
m:"
mxm"
Me:
"ni
ght
"

Ihungup.
..
ndal
ala.Wel
li
fhe'
spl
anni
ngt
oignor
eme
heshoul
dwai
tunt
ilhe'
sbackinthecountry.
..
not
whi
lehe'
sawayot
herwiseuzobuyakubekubi
.
[
10/
9,19:
20]‪+27730692704‬:
#161

Nextmor ningmyf eetwer en'tsoswol l

en: DIwoke
up,wentt of etchwat ertobat handt heweat herwas
kindtous. ..sivukesekugqat sauboi -boi (hahahai f
that'
swhat chucal lit
)Iwor eabl ackT- shirtt hatwas
abitbi gonmeanddeni m kneelengt hshor t
sne
takkie:DIwant edt ogot ot hewat erfal
lny hani ke
namhl anje.Af terbat hingImadet hebedandcl eaned
myr oom, goodt hingaboutt hisgrowi ngpr incessi n
mybel l
ywast hatshewasnowbecomi ngal ady
slowly: )t
hemor ningsi cknesswasnotr egul ar
anymor e.
..i
twasnowandt hen,event hef atigue
wasn' tast hef ir
stf ewweeksofdi scover y.Ileftmy
phonei nt hechar gerandwentoutt oeatbr eakf ast
,I
wast hef ir
stonekephofbutt hefoodwasal ready
there.Idishedupf ormy selfsomepoachedeggs,
whitet oast, chakalakaandst rongbl ackcof fee
ndatya, kuhlecameoutf ir
stnay ealreadydr essed
Hi
m:"
mor
ning"
Me:
"mor
ning"

Hedi
shedupandsatdownwat
ya.
..

Hi
m:"
ugr
and"
?
Me:
"yeah,
you"
Hi
m:"
yep.
..
canIgi
vey
ouadv
ice"
?
Me:
"i
fIsayno"
?
Hi
m:"
tr
ustme,
youneedi
t"
Me:
"shoot
"
Hi
m:"don'
twastey
ourener
gyargui
ngwithhi
m,ev
en
i
fyoudon'tagr
eewit
hwhathe'
ssaying"
Me:
"youmeany
ourbr
other
"
Him:"
yes..
.hecall
edmel astni
ghtund'
buzaalotof
questi
ons.Ididn'
tevenknowuy ay
azsihambenawe
unti
ll
acall y
asemi ni
"
Me:
'
'Idi
dn'
ttel
lhi
m..
.butI
'
m notsur
pri
sed"
Hi
m:'
'
nei
theram I
"
Me:"
myekewethuuNtando.
..
he'
shear
tisi
nat
oo
pl
ace,
Iknowt
hatforsur
e"

Hel
ookedatmeandsmi
l
ed

Hi
m:"
uyamt
handany
hani
"
:
vIl
aughedathowser
ioushest
atedt
hat
Me:
"gui
l
tyaschar
ged"
Him:
"Ihopeyoucanstandupt
ohi
m,I
'm hi
sbrot
herI
knowhimv er
ymuch,hecanbeabul
l
yattimes"
Me:"
wellsometi
mesit
snotev
enaboutstandingup
t
ohim,yazumntusometi
mesngokuakwaziyoba
you'
rer
atchetf
unekaukj
eumbhi
deubeyi church
mouse"
Him:"
akhontoi
mdikangat
hkungaphendul
wa.
..
Xandenzal
ontoUt
hindi
menzaisbhanxa"
Me:
"ebesi
tshokum l
astni
ght
"

KwangenanooLukesoy
aphelai
ncoko
yet
hu,
every
onewasupandreadyf
oran"adv
ent
ure"

Si
hle:
"somal
ume,
what
'
sthepl
anf
ort
oday
"
Uncl
e:"ohwe'
llgof
orami
nihi
ki
ng.
..
weal
readydi
dit
yest
erdayTri
na"
Me:
"ewemal
ume"
Sihl
e:"
soundsint
erest
ing.
..Hopef
ull
yther
eai
n'
tno
snakeskekulehiki
ngtrai
lyenu"
Uncl
e:"
khul
ulekandodana"

Weal ldugi n,at

eupandst ar
tedwal kingt owar dsthe
fr
uitplant ations:vwhentheysawt het r
ee...t
hey
wentber serkbaleqanabekhwelaemi thi
ni theyeven
playedi cekwaandher eIwaswalkingonf ootcoz
kalokf unekandi be"consi
derat
e"ntliziyoy am
bincinci kanticozIknewv er
ywellIal sowant edto
pl
aybutaf terl
isteni
ngt oNtando'sfreestyl
elast
ni
ghtIcouldn'tri
skany mor eespeciall
ynowt hat
ethet
hil
ewhati fsomet hingmistakenlyhappens
gqibaathiebetshil
okokungamamel ikwam?Yabo?I
walkedalonekemi ndyou,cozevenuncl ewas
swingi
ngbet weent heset r
ees.
..
Isawast rawber
ry
tr
eeandwentt oit,
pickedaf ewandwal kedupthe
mountainnday ophuml angaphezulubecausenone
oftheguyscameouty et.

Isatt
her
ethi
nki
ng.
..
Theycameoutandwewal
keddownt heothersi
de
ofthemountai
nwher
eweweregreetedbyafresh
smellofwat
erandt
hemostbeaut
if
ul ofsi
ght
.

Kuhl
e:"
you'
renotgoi
ngi
n"?
Me:
"er
h..
no,
I
'l
lj
ustsi
tri
ghther
e"
Soso:
"t
heny
ouwon'
tmi
ndkeepi
ngourphones"
Me:
"sur
e"
Theyallwenti n,
Iopenedluu'sphoneandt ook
sel
fiesngay o.Aft
erabout30mi nut esorso
kwakhalaiphonekaSi hl
e- _-hi
sbr otherIignoredit.
Wancamaandcal l
edekaKuhl eIalsoi gnoreditas
well
.Lastl
yhecal ledLuke,okayitwasapr ivat
e
numberbutknowi nguNtando,Iknewnguy e..
.Idon'
t
knowwhyt hesepeoplebroughtt heirphonesher e
nyhaninyhani.

Me:
"Luke'
sphonehel
l
o"
Hi
m:"
it
heni
iphoney
akho"
Me:
"i
then"
Hi
m:"
okondi
kuf
ounel
a"
Me:
"Il
efti
tendl
i
ni"
Hi
m:"
oh.
..
ushar
p"
Me:
"ewewena"
Hi
m:"
ndi
grand"
-
cwaka-
Hi
m:"
usaqumbi
l
e"
Me:
"bendi
qumbi
l
ekuqal
a"
Hi
m:"
youknowwhatImean"
Me:
"act
ual
l
yIdon'
t,
whatdoy
oumean"
Hi
m:"
her
ewegoagai
n"
Me:
"yabo?Si
ngav
elesi
thul
enj
e"
Him:"y
ouneedment aleval
uati
on,nott
hatyou'
re
crazybutI'
mtel
l
ingy ou,
thedayyougotpregnant
somescr ewsmighthavewentloose"
Me:
"I
'l
lkeept
hati
nmi
nd"
Hi
m:"
yazawudani
"
Me:
"udananj
ani
naumnt
uet
hukwa"
Hi
m:"
uny
ansi
l
eyaz.
..
masi
vel
esi
thul
e"
Me:
"f
ine"

Hehungup...Whentheboyshadf unbadi
kwawe
headedbacktothefarmhouseanddecorat
edthe
tr
eeswithXmasl i
ghtsever
ywhereandwhenwe
weredonewecookedal otoffoodoutsi
deint
hefir
e
placekwadekwal atet henaunt ydi shedupf or
everyoneandwehaddumpl i
ngsandbeefst ewby
thefireplace.Thebeaut yoft hispl acet hough. ..At
24:00weal lstartedcal lingourl ov edoneswi shing
them amer ryXmasIcal ledev er yoneandev en
Ntandobuther eject edmycal ls,oner i
ngandt henit
hitvoicemai l
..
.Thr eet imesi nar ow?Haynt anga
ndamncamanam andonl ythendi dIrememberba
besithesi zothul a:ohahahasot hisi sjustwhati t
meant ?Veeeer ywi se.Af tersi ngingacoupl eof
Xmascar olsweheadedt obed, pastt woi nthe
mor ning...
weeachgoti nourbedsandsl eptt il
l t
he
mor ning.Thi swasourl astdayher eandIdi dn' t
wannal eav ejusty etbutIhadt ogohome. .
.Iact uall
y
want edt ogobackt oJo' bur gnow.Wehadaf un
day...
theboy sar enev erhomet hough: vIwasl eft
withMi yolafort heent i
redayunt ilhomet imet hen
theyhel peduspackandweheadedt oEastLondon
i
nhi ghspi r
its.
..well Iwasn' ti
nanyhi ghspi ri
tIwas
pretending: (zobakwi spi ri
tsnj ani ndi
ngahoy wangu
tatakapr i
ncess?Lukehomedel iveredev eryoneone
thent ookushome, itwasal r
eadybedt i
mesoI
headedst raightt obed.Iv owedwasn' tgonnabot her
Ntandoagai
n,
Ijusthadagutfeel
ingthathe'
s
comingbackqhaandwhenhedoescomeback, I
'
min
fort
hemostreali
stlect
uresofal
lti
me.
-

Mondaymor ningIwokeupandpacked
ever
y t
hing,
cl
eanedmyr oom andwetdownst ai
rs..
.I
madecer ealandatewhi l
etryi
ngtocallbaeagain,
its
noteasykaloknobandi ngagezandit
hiniwhenImi ss
hi
m Imi sshim keqhaandwhenIdoIhav etohear
hi
sv oiceorseehisface,butkenamhlanjethatwas
al
ltonoav ailsondamy eka.Lukecamet oeat

Me:
"canwegot
oJo'
bur
g"
Him:"
Ihavet
ocheckmyemai
l
sfort
het
icket
sI
booked"
Me:
"asky
ourbr
otherf
ort
hep.
j"
Hi
m:"
it
sov
erseesonbusi
ness"
Me:
"oh"
Heateup..
.t
henwenttocheckhi
semail
s.Iwashed
t
hebowlsthenwenttobath.
..
whenIcameouthe
wasseatedonmybed

Hi
m:"
looksl
i
keouronl
yopt
ioni
sabus"
Me:
"Idon'
tmi
nd"
Hi
m:"
okay
,weshoul
dbeatt
hebusst
ati
onby11:
00"
Me:
"I
'm al
mostr
eadyso.
..
"

Hesmi l
edandwal kedout.
..
Iswit
chedoffbothmy
phones,
packedthem int
omyhandbagandwor ea
bl
ackleatherdungareewit
hpeachcroppedtopad
peachplatf
orm heal
swithgoldheel
.Tookmybags
downandj ustpl
ayedTVgameswhi l
ewaiti
ngfort
he
ti
met opass.
[
10/
9,19:
24]‪+27730692704‬:
#162

Wewer
ereadyont
ime,
l
eftt
hekey
sforauntNandi
oranyonewhodeci dedtocomebackhome
whenevertheychoset odeci
de.Weheadedtothe
busstati
onandwai tedforafewmi nut
est
hen
l
oadedinandheadedt oJozigazi
!

-
Fiv
eDay
sLat
er-

Itwasnewy ear sEv eandIwasgoi ngt omeetLuke' s

fiancéift hatwhatshei s:/shehadact uall
yinvit
ed
ust ohav elunchi nherf latalsoinSandt onsomy
spiri
tswer ehi ghny haninamhl anjeIwasev en
singing...Hav en'tdonet hatinawhi l
e: DthoughI
hadn'thear df rom baei veki yonke.WhenIwokeup
Lukewasn' tar oundbuti tshowedt hathehadwoken
upandcl eanedcozt heki t
chendoorwhi chi ski
ndof
ourent rancet othehousewhent hel oungei s
l
ocked, wasopen, andal lwindows...
thehousesmel t
fresh.Iwaswear i
ngpaj amashor t
sandmat chi
ng
vestandwal kingbar efoot:)Imadebr eakfastfor
my self,
ev ery thingfrom f ri
edeggst ot hecrispy
baconandt hewor ksandwhenIwasdone, Iputiti
n
atrayalongwi t
hcitr
usjuiceandwentt othe
l
ounge...Ionl
ysetonef ootinNdagangwabubuso
bukaNt andoepholeaphaent loko:ot hetrayI
had,sl
i
ppedoutofmyhandsandf el
l,breakingthe
gl
ass,plate.
..
spi
ll
ingthejuice,
eggs...everythi
ng.

Hi
m:"
hi"
Me:
"hi
"

Iturnedandwentt ofetchabr oom,Isweptup

everythingandthr ewi tinthebinthenIt ookamop
andcl eanedthef l
oor ...
hewasj ustsit
tingthere
watchi ngme.Iwentt or inset
hemopi nt he
bathroom xandiyikhamaIcutmy self
,aglasshad
apparent l
ystuckint hemophai keubhobhozai gazi ..
.Ileftt hemopt hereandwentbackdowncozi first
ai
dki tihlal
aekitchen, Iopenedmyhandt orunning
wateri nthetapasIt ookoutdi si
nfectantsfrom the
ki
t.Hecamei nt
heki tchenbutstoodbyt hedoor
Hi
m:"
ist
hatbl
oodont
hef
loor
"?

Itur
nedandlookedati
t-_
-y es,
dropsofbloodran
downthestai
rcaset
owher eIwasst andi
ng..
.he
l
ookedatmyhand

Hi
m:"
needhel
p"
Me:
"Icanmanage"

Wat hula..
.Iwipedmyhandandst art
edcl eani ngand
applyingt hedisi
nfectantthenputonapl astercozi t
wasn' tabr oadcut,buti
twasabi tdeepert hanI
thought .WhenIwasdoneIpackedev er y
thingback
toitsplacesandt ookav acuum t ocleanupt he
bloodt raceskwaphi ndakwacl ean.Iwi pedt hetray
andr eturnedittoitsplace,Iusedonehandand
washedt hepanIhadusedt omakel ebr eakf ast
ndingay it
yanga..
.allt
histi
mehe' sleaningbyt hedoor
withhi shandsi nhispocket s.Wat chi
ngme.WhenI
wasdoneIt ookanappl eandwentbackt othe
l
ounge,
swi
tchedontheTVandwat
chedVuzuAmp
hecametositacr
ossme

Hi
m:"
unj
ani
"
Me:
"goody
ou"
Hi
m:"
good.I
'
m sor
ryf
ory
ourbr
eakf
ast
"
Me:
"cool
"
Hi
m:"
so,
howwasy
ourXmas"
Me:
"gr
eaty
our
s"
Hi
m:"
great
,canwet
alk"
Me:
"we'
ret
alki
ng"
Hi
m:"noImeant
alk.
..
I'
mtal
ki
ngnow,
you'
rej
ust
r
espondi
ng"
Me:
"t
alkaboutwhat
"?
Hi
m:"
us"
Me:
"what
'st
her
etot
alkabout
"
Him:
"wenauy
bonai
ri
ghtl
ent
oyenzekay
ophakat
hi
kwet
hu"
Idi
dn'
tanswerhi
m..
.Ij
ustat
emyappl
e

Hi
m:"
okaykecany
ougetdr
essedsi
hambe"
Me:
"si
yaphi
"
Hi
m:"
tomyapar
tment
"
Me:
"Ican'
t"
Hi
m:"
you.
..
can'
t"
?
Me:"
I'
m havi
ngl
unchwi
thmybr
otherandhi
s
gi
rl
fr
iend"
Hi
m:"
okay
..
.shoul
dIcomeandf
etchy
oul
ater
"?
Me:
"no"

Hesi
ghed.
..
Iwasdoneeat
ingtheappl
e..
.y
akhal
aiphoney
am :
v
si
sgezokeNoko!
!!
Me:
"Nel
i
sa"
Her
:"
heyur
ight
"?
Me:
"ndi
shar
pdearwena"
Her
:"
I'
m cool
,ndcel
aundbuzeleubausinouzof
unda
emonti
nah..
.thenI
'
llsendherdocuments"
Me:
"pl
shol
d"
Her
:"
okay
"
Me:
"babe,
uSi
nouzof
undaeMont
i"
?
Hi
m:"
yeswhy
"?
Me:
"yeahuzof
undakhona"
Her:
"okay
..
.y
oudon'
tmi
ndmosi
fIposthert
hings
kuwe"
Me:
'
'notatal
l
"
Her
:"
you'
readar
li
ngt
obeki
ssed.Ci
ao"
Me:
"shar
p"

Iputmyphonedown.
.backt
omyr
eal
i
ty.
Hi
m:"
souhm,
uthi
Ishoul
dn'
tcomeandf
etchy
ou"
Me:
"I
'l
lfi
ndmyownwayt
oyou"
Hi
m:"
okay
"

Hegotupandl eft.
..
Igotupandwat chedhi m
l
eav e,throught hewi ndowandmyhear tbr oke.He's
beenawayf oramont handt hi
siswhatheget sback
to:'
(f orgodam sakeImi sshim: '
(Isl ouchedbackon
thecouch.Phel enalondlalangoku.WhenIwasf ed
upofsul kingIwentupst air
sandi ronedadr essI
want edt owearatt helunch: Dacer isepi nkf l
ared
peplum mi ni dr
esswi thgoldchai nsumv awonke
thenIdust edof fmygol dst uddedpl atform heel s:DI
puthotr ol
ler si
nmyhai rforbouncygol denbr own
curls.
..Byt heti
meIwasdonewi thev erything,i
twas
evenpastt heti
mewewer esupposedt oleav ebut
kewel eftandmadet hest yl
ishl
yl ateimpr ession:v
:vwewer ewel comedwi thcoldf estivedr inksasshe
fi
nishedof fherpot sandcamet osi tdown.
Luu:"
okaynowthatyou'vefi
nal
lysatdown,
l
emme
i
ntroduceyoutomyy oungersi
ster
..
.Tri
nathi
sis
Siv
enathi,
babethi
sisTri
nali
que"

Weact
ual
l
yhugged<3

Her
:"
nicet
ofi
nal
l
ymeety
ou,
her
avesal
otabouthi
s
f
amily
"
Me:
"Ibet
..
.Iunder
standungum'
Xhosa"
?
Her:
"yes,I
'
mf rom t
heEaster
nCapeaswell
butI
mostl
ygr ewupher e.Mydadwasaminerfor20
goody ears"
Me:
"wow.
..
"
Her
:"
yourbr
other
ssay
syou'
rest
udy
ingl
aw"
Me:
"Iam.
..
notaneasycar
eert
ochoose"
Her
:"
asl
ongasy
oul
ovei
tandseeaf
utur
eini
t"
Me:
"Idoy
az"
Her
:"
lemmecheckonmypot
s,I
'
llber
ightback"
Wesmi ledasshegotup. .
.Lukel ookedatmef or
approval :
v:vndav el
andamhl eka:vdamnshe' s
beautif
ul though,v
erybeaut i
ful.Afronatural
hair,
carefull
ycurvedAf r
icanbody ,
natur
al hazel
browncompl exionanddar key eswi t
habr i
ghtsmile
i
nt l
enyahnl entombi .Shecal l
edust othedi ning
placewhi chwast hepool si
det ableandsheser ved
usf i
ngerf oodskuqalaandl aterahomecooked
cuisi
nehai kesonwabaandwebl endedlikecof f
eein
hotwat er:Dpastt hr
eet ofourndacel aindlela

Luu:
"hav
esomewher
etobe"
?
Me:
"er
hm,
yeah"
Her
:"
itwasni
cehost
ingy
ou"
Me:
"t
hankst
oyouIhadf
un"
Luu:
"youcant
akemycar
"

Lol:
DItookhi
skey
sandwehugged,Ist
art
edendl
i
ni
andpackedaf
ewitemsIknewIwoul
dneedthenI
drovetoNt ando'splace,t
ookadeepbr eathand
walkedoutbr avely
..
.that'
sabi tabsur
dafterhowwe
l
eftthingsoffthough,ndisi
thathaphii
sbi
ndisode
ndihambebr avelyeyardiniyomntu?Mk.Iknockedon
thedoor .
..
noanswer ,Iknockedagain.St
il
lno
response.Icall
edhi m

Hi
m:"
hel
l
o"
Me:
"hi
..
.waswonder
ingi
fukhona"
Hi
m:"
notatt
hemoment
"
Me:
"oh.
..
uhm.
..Uzobuy
awhatt
imemay
be"
Hi
m:"
I'
m notsur
e,ndi
sandof
ikaapha"
Me:
"ohk.
..
isi
tfar
"?
Hi
m:"
nondi
seShi
saNy
amakooVi
nce"
Me:
"ohokay
"
Hi
m:"
uzozangapha"
Me:
"noI
'
llj
ustwai
tfory
ou"
Hi
m:"
okay
"
Me:
"shar
p"

Ihungupandwentt ochil
l i
nmybr ot herscar
l
isteningtomusic,
thenIdecidedtoj usttakeashort
drivetoanOl aout
letandboughtmy selfatwolit
re
tubofchocol at
eandcaramel i
cecream anda
plasticspoon:DIr
eturnedtot heparkinglotand
startedeati
ngobubumnandi ndizi
thengel ebona.
..
Afteraboutcloset
o30mi nutesndisityahecall
ed

Me:
"mmmh"
?

Wel
lIhadamout
hful
^_^

Hi
m:"
sowbuy
il
ekwi
lunch"
Me:
"mme'
we"

Damnt hi
sthi
ng:vi
fi
kei
bandewor
sewheni
t
touchest
heteet
h
Hi
m:"
ohokay
,sondi
thi
ni"
Me:
"comet
oyourhouse"
Hi
m:"
okay
"

HehungupIcont i
nuedeating..
.i
nnomi
nutesIsaw
hiscardr
ivi
ngin.Heparkednexttome.
..
mindyou,
I
wasplayi
ngmusi cbutnotloud,
mychai
rlai
dback
forcomfor
tabi
l
ityreasonsandallmywi
ndowsopen.
[
10/
9,19:
27]‪+27730692704‬:
#163

Ilaymyheadont heheadr estandenjoy

edt he
l
ingeri
ngtastemel t
ingonmyt ongue.Ifel
tashade
onmyst omachandl ookedup, hi
sheadwaspeeping
i
nmywi ndow,Igotuphol dingthetubandwi pi
ngmy
l
ips

Me:
"hi
"
Hi
m:"
howl
onghav
eyoubeenwai
ti
ng"
?
Me:
"er
h..
."

Iwant
edt
oli
e..
.:v

Hi
m:"
erh"
?
Me:
'
'notf
orl
ong"

Hemov edndaphuma, Igavehim mybagandonl y

carri
edmyt ub,hesmel tofmeat:(but
akandiphat hela.Unjani naubabe?Heunl ockedand
wewal kedinsideonebehi ndtheother
,Isatonthe
couch,putmyf eetupandat eupmyi cecr eam whi
le
waiti
ngf ormyl ifet
imel ect
ure.
..
besendizi
xoli
si
le
ketanabandi zoshout waandmov eon.Lifedoesn't
endt hereandbesi des,nowthathe'sback,weneeded
togot ot hesonakal ok.
Heret
urnedandsatnextt
ome,hetookmyspoon
andat
einsil
ence:)nott
ensi
onbutsil
ence.
It
urnedandf
acedhi
m,myl
egsendedonhi
slaps

Me:"okayl
et'
sgett
hisov
eranddonewi
th,
ndcel'
xol
o"
Hi
m:"
wenzent
on"
Me:
"idon'
tknow..
.butj
udgi
ngf
rom howy
ouscol
ded
methatday,
itmustbebig"

Wandi
j
ongawahl
eka:
(andshookhi
shead

Me:
"o-
kay
..
.t
hatwentwel
l
"
Him:
"fi
rsty
ouapol
ogi
ze,
theny
oudon'
tknowwhy
you'
reapol
ogi
zi
ng"
Me:
"butbabesupposebay
ithoughtt
hatcount
s"
Him:
"notapha..
.i
fyouwannaapol
ogi
ze,
uri
ghtbut
caci
sawhyy ou'
reapol
ogizi
ng"
Me:
"Iwasi
nconsi
der
ateandsel
fi
sh"
Hi
m:"
wher
e?Andwhen"
?
Me:
"whi
l
eyouwer
eawayonbusi
ness"

Hi
m:"
and"
?
Me:
"andImi
ssy
ou,
somuch.
"
Hi
m:"you'
renotdoneapol
ogi
zi
ngkal
okI
'
m st
il
l
wai
ti
ngt ohearmore"
Me:
"hai
bobaby
"
Hi
m:"
I'
m wai
ti
ng"

Ndakhendat hicwaka. ..
thewor dswer etherebuti
pri
de?Ay ivumi t
umanbamandi zibi
keukubar ongo
kwam soi nsteadIj ustwalkedoutandwentt othe
ki
tchenandf etchedmyownspoonbutwhenIcame
backIjustblabber ed:/Idon'tev enknowi fIwas
makinganysense. ..MaybeIwasn' t
,cozuv el
e
waphakamaandl eftmer i
ghtt herewithmyj aw
hanging..
.Iwatchedhi m getinhi scaranddr i
veoff.
Jongandamat handamanzi ngomzuzu: oIsatdown
andfinishedmyi cecr eam ndicingaawayofr eall
y
showinghi mI '
m sor r
ycoznowt hathe'
sher eI
real
izedhowIreall
ymissedhim.Bendimkhumbul a
nyhanibutkeuzenzi
leakakhal
elwari
ght?WhenI
haddoneal otofthi
nki
ng,Iswi
tchedoffmy
phones,f
orconcentr
ati
onIdon'tneeddist
urbances,
I
messedupneh?Nowi tsti
meIf i
xedmymess, alone.
Ilookedt hrought hecupboar dsndabonaba
akhokut yaKuenoughaphacozIal way shear dthata
wayt oaman' shear tisthr oughhi sst omachsoI
tookmybagandwentt oLuu' scart henIdr ove
my selftotown...Ihadl ostal l confidencenowbutI
hadt hemostst upi destdr ivet ojustdot histhing,
tr
y
tomendt hingsandi ft
heydomend, Iwillhavet o
knowmypl acefrom nowoncozkucaci l
eandi yaz
i
ndawoy am kuler elati
onshi p...That 'shonest l
y
speakingnow.Ir eachedt hemal landst art
ed
shoppi ngforgrocer yitemst hatIknewIwi ll
need,may benotonl yfortoni ghtbutt hroughoutt he
weekendi fandali
wangakekul eprocessndi ci
nga
ukuyenza.WhenIwasdoneIr eturnedbackhome. ..I
start
edof fbycal l
ingNel i
sa...kudalandi menzel a
i
ifavorsnokoi t'
saboutt imeandi ncedenay e
Her
:"
hel
l
o"
Me:
'
hey
,canwet
alk"
Her
:"
yeahsur
ewhat
'
sup"
Me:"
Iuhm.
..Ineedaf
avor
.Buti
tsgot
tast
ay
bet
weenus"
Her
:"
theny
oucal
l
edt
her
ightper
son"
Me:"
Iki
ndamessedt hi
ngsupsonowIwanna
amendem...Ineedtoknowndenzent
oni
forhi
mto
knowI'
mtrulysorr
y"
Her:
"bynowyoushouldknownott omessthingsup
wit
hhim BUThe'snotver
yfussy
,cookhim ameal
andpouroutyourhear
tandtear
s,he'
l
lmeltl
ike
but
teronhotbuns"
Me:
"suggest
ionsonmeal
s"?
Her
:"
makeany
thi
nghomel
yandt
radi
ti
onal
"
Me:
"t
hanky
ou"
Her
:"
you'
rewel
come.
..
I'
l
lpostezant
onextweekneh"
Me:
"nopr
obl
em,
shar
pkedear
"
Her
:"
ciaobabe"

Ihungupandboi ledwat er,

defrost edmut tonchops
solongandwentupst airst oremov et hisdr essand
worecot t
onshor tsandav est..
.Ineededt obe
comf or t
ablewhendoi ngt hiscozi thadt obeper fect
totheT.Ir eturneddownst air
sandst artedcooki ng
themeat ,
choppi ngt hev eget abl
esanddoi ng
everythingel seIhadt odot omaket hismut tonstew
andpap.Wheni twasdone, i
tsmel tdivineandt asted
evenbet t
er,Icleanedupandwentt oswi tchonmy
phones. ..
myf eetwer est artedtoswel lup: (andaz
nobay ipressur eorsist r
essnawet hubutIdi dn't
real
lycar ecozIwasdoi ngsomet hingr ightf ora
change.WhenIswi tchedmyphoneson, ther ewas
nomessagewhat soev er:/Ideci dedt otakea
bath,
r ubbedmyf eetandwor ebl ackl acel i
nger i
e
thenIwor eagownndangqengqacozt herewas
nothingel seIcoul ddo.Pastsev enhayndancama
adcal ledhim hai bondi zolalandedwakomny umz i
kengok?Khon' basekut hwaIdeser v epuni shment
akuthet hwal ena.
Hi
m:"
mh"
Me:
"uhm.
..
I'
dli
ket
oknowi
fther
e'sasl
i
ghtchance
ofy
oucominghome"
Hi
m:"
I'
m st
il
lbusy
"
Me:
"oh"

Hehungup: /wel lItriednowdi dn'tI?Ipl uggedin

myheadset sandl ist enedtomusi cunt ilIfell
asl
eep...Halfwayt hrought heni ghtIt ossedand
tur
ned,openedmyey esbuthi ssideoft hebedwas
sti
l
luntouchedsoIj ustwentt ot hebat hr oom
ndabuyandahl alast i
llonthebed, soonI '
m gonna
hearpeopl eorr athercr ackersboomi ngand
cel
ebratingt hesupposedl yhappynewy ear,
it
snot
l
ikeIknowwher ehewentandi tsnotl i
keIdi dn'
t
knowwhathewasdoi ng,
hewaspuni shingmemos
i
cacil
eanyi nthemostpai nful waycozundi bambe
ngentoay aziyobandi yay
't
handa, ukuhoy wane
att
enti
on.Ij ustsatt herewat chingt het i
me: '
(li
kei
t
wasonl yonehourl eftbeforenewy earandIwasal l
aloneendl
i
ni y
omntuwhil
ehe'
sBUSYpai
nti
ngt
he
townred-_-wit
hwhoev
erhewaswit
h.

Hi
m:"
uli
l
eni
"?

Isnappedandl ookedatt
hedoor: /whenthehelldi
d
hecomei n?Andwashedr unk?Ilookedathim
andamphendulabutItouchedmyf aceandfel
ttear
s
nyhanindazosula.Hewal
kedi nandsatont hebed

Him:
"yourst
ewsmel
l
sni
ce,
tast
eev
enbet
ter
,thank
you"
Me:
"sur
e"
Him:
"getdr
essed,
we'r
egoingovert
othe
Shi
saNyamaforthecrossi
ngov
ercelebr
ati
on"
Me:
"It
hinkI
'
llpass"
Hi
m:"
you'
drat
herst
ayher
eal
one"
?
Me:"
myf eetar
eki
ndapai
nful
so,
yeahI
'
drat
herst
ay
her
ealone"
Hepul
ledmyfeettowardshi
m wazi
bonnayeba
zi
dumbil
eI'
m notsayi
ngthi
scozIwantat
tent
ion,
its
act
ual
l
ytrue.

Hi
m:"
cummon,
youwon'
tst
andf
orl
ong.Ipr
omi
se"

Okay .
..
thi
swasn'tthosemoment swhereIactual
l
y
enjoyedukucengwa.Nonotatal l.SoIj
ustgotof
f
thebedandsear chedforclot
heswi t
houtsayi
ng
anotherword,
Iwor ethesamedr essIhadworn
earli
erbutwit
hslippers:
(that'
sthebestIcoul
ddo..
.

Me:
"done"
Hi
m:"
okay
,wedon'
treal
l
yhav
emucht
ime"

If
oll
owedhim andwel
efti
nhi
scar
..
.t
hesi
ghtof
Vi
ncentnj
espoil
edmymoment.
[
10/
9,19:
28]‪+27730692704‬:
#164
Wef oundat ableandIsatdown,
heleftme
engakhangeat shophofnobauyaphi
..
.thepl
ace
moret hanfull
,
af ewmoment sl
aterawaitr
esscame
tomyr escue

Her
:"
bhut
'Nt
andosay
sImustt
akey
ouror
der
"
Me:
"I
'mf
inet
hanks"
Her
:"
you'
resur
eyoudon'
twantev
enasoda"
?
Me:
"I
'm cool
thanks"
Her
:"
alr
ightt
hen"

.
..
sheleft
.KwezauVincentjongaIsweartoGodif
ukhenjewat
hethaububhanxaI'm gonnal
ashouton
hi
m ashiy
ekeengazazinobaungubanwaphifut
hi.

Hi
m:"happynewy
ear
,may
bendi
ngakuboni
aft
ert
he
cl
ockstri
kes"
Me:
"t
hanky
ou"
Hi
m:"
awzosel
ant
o"?
Me:
"nondi
ser
ight
"
Him:
"ohokay,
uhm,ubhut
'wil
lj
oiny
oushor
tl
y,
ther
e's
somethi
ngIaskedhi
mt ohel
pouton"
Me:
"sur
e"

Isatt hereall al
onepl ayi
ngwi t hmyphoneunt i
l
everyonegat heredandst art
edt hecount down. ..
uphi
uNt ando?Can' ttholakalakesan.Whenwest ruck1
andt hef i
recracker swentof f,
peopl e
screamed, kissed,huggedandal lofthat.
..
Iwasj ust
therest andingal lal
onewonder i
ngwhyi nheav endid
het akemef rom homej usttoabandonmei nt he
midstofst r
anger s.Iwal kedtowar dswher eVi nce's
offi
cei sandwal kedi nslowlywi thoutmaki ngany
noise,Icouldhearpeopl et al
kingbutIcoul dn'tmake
outwhatt heywer esay ing.asIappr oachedt he
room IsawChl oeandaskedherandi cel
eleuNt ando,
nyhani waphumakwel i
gumbi bebengxolakulo
Me:
"I
'm sor
ryt
odi
stur
byou,
butcel
aist
ixosemot
o"
Hi
m:"
ungandi
shi
yiaphake"
Me:
"won'
t"

Hegav emet hecarkey sandr et

urnedt owher ever
hecamef rom,Iwal kedout ,
tothelot,
insi
det hecar
andjustsatther
ef eelingsorryformy selfbuthay
kodwashameuy akwazi ubacruellomntu,andaphole
kwihead.TearstrickleddownasIr ecall
edhow
merryandjoyfult
hosepeopl eare...
Itookhishoodi e
fr
om thebackpassengerseatandwor eit,
atleastI'
l
l
bewar mer.Kant
i kendi yendalal
akul omeko: (
ApparentlyIl
ockedmy sel
finsidethecarcozndi mve
xabendikhwazabenkqonkqoz anoVi ncebaIshould
opent hedoors,Ij
ustroll
eddownt hewindowand
gavethem thekeyndaphi ndandazi songaont hat
backseatndalala.Hecamei n,
andazbenzani no
Vincebutbaphi ndabahambal eav i
ngme
there.
..
somet imelaterhecamei nanddr ov
eus
home.Themi nutewehi ttheparkinglot,
hecameout
andopenedmydoorcabauzondi f
unqul a
mhl awumbi ?Ist retchedandgotout ,
wal kingonmy
own.Hel ockedt hecarandf oll
owed, openedt he
doorndangenaandwentst raightt obedashewent
towar mt hefoodwat y a.Iwascol d,Irubbedmyf eet
againt henIswi tchedont heheat erndangena
ezingubeni ndal alamnt akadaday ikhoeny i
ndlel
a..
.andimazi uNt andonobaudewazol alanahcozke
whenIwokeuphi ssideoft hebedwasi ndeed
messedupbuthewasn' tt
her e,
Icoul dsmel lt
he
fr
eshscentofhi scol ognebut ..
.Icoul dn'tseehi m.It
waspast10whenIwokeup, Imadet hebedand
openedt hewi ndows, sweptandwentt omake
my selfbreakfast.Icur riedandf r
iedsomechi cken
stri
ps,ImadeGr eeksal adandpour edt hosest ri
psin
i
twi thThai saladdr essi ng,that'sal lIwant edfor
breakfastIat ei tanwashedi zit
y agqi bakwam
ndabuy elaebhedi ni..
..ngqondozam kesanazav ukwa
yi
mpambanov ha!Isatup.Ranmy selfahotbat h
andsoakedmy sel finf oranhour ..
.byt het i
meI
cameoutIwasdet ermi nedt ogohome, ngcoske
ndihlal
endedwaekhay akalokkunobay i housewi f
e
yenkani .
.engafunway okwahousewi fel ey o.Igot
dressedingreyti
ght s,
blackvestanbl ackChucks
thenIpackedmyt hings..
.l
ockedindlukaNt andoand
headedt otheparkinglot,
Ienteredmybr otherscar
andst ar
tedit
..
.WangenauNt ando-_-playi
ngjazz
emot weniyakhe.
..
notj ustanyjazzmnt ri
nit
y
ongcwele,hewaspl ayinglaclassi
cjazzuy awze
uyivakwamakhel waneut amkhuluwakhonaxaehl eli
ecamkwendl uamaneesi thi
:ngexeshalethuke
ntombam.
Hepar
kedr
ightnextt
omeandgotout
..
.

Hi
m:"
hey
"
Me:
"hi
..
yourkey
s"
Hi
m:"
uyaphi
"?
Me:
"home"
Hi
m:"
buzond'
xel
elani
nikengoki
fbendi
ngaf
ikanga"
Me:
"Iwoul
d'
vecal
l
edxandi
fi
kaendl
i
ni"

Hechuckl
edandl
ookedatme
Hi
m:"
awuy
indawoS'
bongi
l
e"

Iopenedmymouthtoprot
estbuthi
scol
dlooksent
chi
ll
sdownmyspine.Idi
dn'
tmov eani
nch,
Icoul
dn'
t
mov e,
mybodywoul
dn'tmove.

Hi
m:"
getoutoft
hecarungeneendl
i
ni"
Me:
"Ier
hm,
Ihav
etor
etur
nLuke'
scar
"
Hi
m:"
whenheneedsi
tyou'
l
lret
urni
t"

Gqibawandi shiy
andikhami seaphouNt ando,
Itook
myphonesandl eftt
hebagi nsidet
hecarmaki ng
sureIlockedal ldoors,
closedal lwi
ndows
ndaml andela.Fikaegqibezelaokwakuty a
kwaphezol oIsatdownont hecouchandwai t
ed
anxiously.
..Hecamebackandst ar
tedeating,
phole
ngekopwat y awagqibaway obekaisi
tyaandcame
backdr i
nkingj ui
ce
Hi
m:'
'
yourbr
otheri
sint
own"
Me:
"mh"
Hi
m:"
they'
l
lbeherel
atert
odaysoIneedy
out
ohel
p
meorgani
zeafewsnacksfort
hem"
Me:
"kay
"

Hegav
emehi
sbankcar
dandpi
n

Hi
m:"
buywhat
every
ouwi
l
lneed"
Me:
"sur
e"

Itookthecardandatt
emptedt
owal
k
out..
.nj
engamntanaut
huny
wayomos.

Him:"
ifor
gott
oask,
how'
syourf
ir
stdayi
nthenew
year
"?
Me:
"ecst
ati
c"
Hi
m:"
that
'sgoodt
ohear
"

Iwalkedoutanddr oveLuke' scart othef uelstati

on
andfil
leditupngel icardl i
keNt andot henIwentt o
theshopsandboughtal otofthings,Iwassoangr yI
boughtmor ethanIneeded, morethanIwi l
luse,I
evenwentf urtheront obuymy sel
fanewpai rof
shoes,patentredbot t
omswi t
hanankl estrapgqiba
ndabuy el
aendl i
ni Ikeptt heshoeboxandot herstuf
f
thatIboughtf ormy selfinthecar .
..
hewasi nt hat
sameposi t
ion,
drinkingwhi skeyandbusyonhi s
l
aptop.Iputt hecar di nfrontofhi m andwentt o
unpackt hesethingsi nt heki t
chen.
[
10/
9,19:
29]‪+27730692704‬:
#165

WhenIwasdoneunpacki ngIstart
edmaki ngsome
fi
ngerfoodsandsnacksthatIknowhowt omake,I
pluggedhisl
aptopheadphoneskwi phoneyam and
playedsomegoodj amscozndiyabonaIshouldjust
acceptbaandiy
i ndawotunamhlanje.Imademy sel
f
aber r
ysmoothi
e: Dcont
aini
ngstrawberri
es,
blueberriesandraspber r
iesandsomei cecr eam
ndahlalaphakwi highstoolswat chingandwai t
ing
forthesesnackskut hwemandi zenze.Iwasn' t
compl ainingcozIwaseat i
ng: vanddr owni ngeach
bitewitht hi
shealthyandsweetsmoot hiesoi fthi
s
wasi ndeedmypuni shmenthaychamnt akadadI
approv e>_ <ver
ymuchf uthi.Oh,ndisahleliaphokeI
feltataponmyshoul derndabhekawandi jonga,I
pausedumcul onam ndamj onga

Him:"
uzondi
vanj
ani
kengokwi
tht
heset
hingson
yourear
s"
Me:
"ndi
yakuv
athet
ha"
Him:"
Guddai
sal
l
ergi
ctonut
s,sowhat
every
oudo
excl
udenut
s"
Me:
"bangaphi
ababant
ubezay
o"
Hi
m:"
bonke"
Me:
"awphendul
imnakengok"
Hi
m:"
about25"
Me:
"mmh"
Ipl
ayedmymusicagain,It
hinkugqi
bil
emosuthetha.
Ndi
samamelenjal
oher emov edt
hem compl
etel
y
wazi
bekaonthetabl
e

Me:
"why
"?
Hi
m:"ndisathet
hafondi
nyoudoknowwhaty
ouj
ust
di
disdisrespectf
ul"
Me:
"sor
ry"
Hi
m:"
you'
renotsor
ry,
suphosi
saapha"
Me:"
okayfine,
ngew'v
elewat
shokal
oknotuzi
xut
he
j
ustbecausethey'
reyour
s"

Ndaphakamandakhuphaiimincepi
esf
rom t
he
oven..
.ut
hul
eakat
hethikodwahesai
dhe'sst
il
l
tal
king:/nj
ani
nah?

Me:
"whatel
se"
?
Hi
m:"
not
hing"
Me:
"buty
ouj
ustsai
dyou'
renotdonet
alki
ng"
Hi
m:"
utheni
nawasewahmoodyanddon'
tbl
amei
t
onmyson"
Me:
"r
eal
l
y"?
Hi
m:"
real
l
ynangoku"
Me:
"hayndi
yekemnaNt
andondi
phekei
npeacepl
s"
Him:"ndi
kuyeke?Hehsi
siuzimamelekak'
hl
e?
Rememberwhathappenedndi kuyeki
lewayaemtat
a?
Youwentf l
ippenswi
ngingontreesli
keagooddamn
teenagerandwheredoesthatputmychil
d"?
Me:
"huh"
?
Him:"
Ispentafewweeksoutoft hecountr
yandy ou
goAWOL, ndot
het
handibarongosoI '
m supposedto
shutupli
keanidi
ot?Undenzaisbhanxasakhomos"
Me:"
ohfinal
lyyoudecidet
otalkabouti
tinst
eadof
negl
ect
ingmef orthewholeni
ght?gooood!Ver
y
goodNtando,goon.Talki
tal
loutmntakabhuti
"
Hi
m:"
sund'
qhel
akakubi
kepl
scozwebot
hknowy
ou
werewrong,
buty
ou'r
esomekindofapri
ncess
awxel
elwantowenangokuuzazi
yobaur
ongo"
Me:
"ar
eyoudone"
?
Him: "
noI '
m notdoneact
uall
y,mamelaandyoubet
ter
takeaseatj usttomakesureumamel ekak'
hl
e,
ayizophindayenzekel
eshityenzekekul
oDecember.
Nev eragain"

Itooktr
aysandwi pedthem cleansi
nceIpl
annedto
usethem forthesnacks...
Istart
edwitht
hestuff
ed
roast
edpot at
oes,sweetchickenkebabs,
mincepies
...
hewasst il
ltal
king,
Idon'tknowhowmanyt imes
hecall
edmynameokondi thul
endenzal
entoebethe
mandiyenzeqha

Hi
m:"
S'bongi
l
e"
Me:
"mmhy
hof
ondi
nuy
andi
bizakodwa"
Hi
m:"
sudi
kwav
umaxaur
ongo"
Me:
"dude,
Iknowi
waswr
ongokay
,Iapol
ogi
zed
i
zol
o"
Hi
m:"
ist
haty
oui
deaofanapol
ogy
"
Me:"
ohcummon,Ievencookedamealfory
ouasa
wayofshowingy
ouhowsor ryIam.Wenawenzani
?
Abandonedmehalft
henight"
Him:"
ha,aha,
adon'
tshi
ftbl
ameher
eokay
,Icame
backforyou"
Me:"camebackf orme?Ohwait,
youcametofet
ch
mesi yeeShisaNyamakaneneandthenwhat
happenedthere?"
Hi
m:"
whathappened"
?
Me: "
ndif
unauvangawekalok,
you'
retheonewho
tookmet herei
nthefi
rstpl
ace,
phofundi
khupha
ezingubeni
"
Him:"
Ididn'
twantyoutoent
ert
henewyearuhl
eli
wedwaokay ,
nangokukeyouhadf
un,
youwere
surr
oundedbypeople"
Me:
"hadfun?Wi
thgoddam st
ranger
s?Yhoheeet
his
i
safir
st"
Hi
m:"
that
'snott
hepoi
nt.
..
poi
nti
s-"
Me:
"you'
vemadey
oupoi
ntcl
ear
,i
nfactcr
yst
alcl
ear
.
Iam sorr
yonceagai
n.Ndikuv
il
e.Nowcanwemov
e
on?Likethi
sissobor
ingnow"
Hi
m:"
thatat
ti
tude"
Me:
"yhohayandi
yazkeuf
unandi
thi
ni"
Hi
m:"
ndi
funauzi
thobe,
Ihavetoseei
nyouracti
ons
t
haty
ou'
rereal
l
ysorry,
wordsarenev
erenough"
Me:"ohsot
his.
..
thi
sthi
ngI
'
m doi
ngnowdoesn'
t
count"
?
Hi
m:"
Iaskedy
out
odoi
t"
Me:
"Icoul
d'
vesai
dno,
youcan'
tfor
ceme"
Hi
m:"
Iknow"
Me:
"mxm y
ouknowwhat
,f
ine"

Waphuma.
..Icont
inueddoi
ngwhatIwasdoing,
I
mari
nat
edporkandbeefthengr
il
ledi
t.
..
alotofi
t.

Imadesur
eI'
vedoneevery
thi
ngthatneedstobe
doneandt
otheperf
ectpoi
nt,
thi
sismyr eput
ati
on
aft
erall:
vIkeptsomei nthewar merndakli
naogqiba
kwam kwakhalaumoy a,
Iwentt othebedroom and
madesur eevery
thi
ngwasst i
l
linordert
henIwal ked
downstai
rswabekaphant sinalophoneebethetha
kuyo.
..
suspici
ous:/butIwasn'tinthemood.

Me:
"I
'm done"
Hi
m:"
sur
e"
Me:
"andI
'
m goi
nghome"
Hi
m: "
Ithi
nkImadeitcl
earear
li
erbaawuyindawo
S'
bongil
enowpls,
Ihaveimporr
antthi
ngsIneedt
o
at
tendtobefor
emyguest sar
ri
ve"
Me:
"somnandit
hini
?Sitaroundanddonothing
whi
l
ey ou'
l
lbebusyent
ertaini
ngyourguest
s"?
Hi
m:"
youcanj
oinus,
you'
rewel
come"
Me:"
Idon'
twantt
ojoi
ny'
al
l.
..Ineedt
ogohomenow
cummon"
Hi
m:"
ungxamel
euy
ohl
alawedwa"
Me:
"pl
easeNt
ando"
Hi
m:"
ndi
yabuzaungxamel
euy
ohl
alawedwa"
Me:
"honest
ly?I
'
drat
herbeal
oneekhay
ari
ghtnow"

Wat hul
a..
.Okayke, Itookmysecondphoneand
walkedoutt hedoor .Ireachedthecar,
gotinand
closedthedoor. .
.andbr eathed.Thisi
ssotir
ing
though:(aren'
trelationshipssupposedtobel i
ke
thoseinTV?Al lsweetandl ovi
ngnah?Mxm t hese
peopleareselli
ngusf ongkongi nf
ormati
onIswear.
[
10/
9,19:
30]‪+27730692704‬:
#166

Istar
tedt
hecaranddr
ovemy sel
fhome,f
ikauLuke
engekhoIdr
anktwoPanadocapsul
es,
removedmy
shoesandsl
ouchedonthecouch,
swit
chedonthe
TVndabukel
aOopopayi.
..
Hecall
ed:(yhountandodoesn'
tknowthatIdon'
t
l
ikequar
rel
ingwit
hhi m.
..
notevenonebit

Me:
"hel
l
o"
Hi
m:"
soumnkeny
hani
"
Me:
"ndi
kuxel
elenj
ena"
Hi
m:"ugqi
thengaphakwal
ent
ondi
yi
thet
hay
owenza
l
eufunwanguwe"

Ndathula..
.ngokubesendingayazner ongoner ight
i
ntoendi yenzayostrubuthonestl
yIcoul dn'tstayat
hishousewhi lehispeoplewerecomi ng,mybr ot her?
HaibonobaI 'm pr
egnantumnt anakaNt andot hat
doesn'tmakemehi swi f
e,t
herearethosel it
tl
et hings
Isti
ll
regar dasdisrespectf
ulxandi
nozenzaphambi
koMar ci worsekengokbandi mgqibelel astyear
beforeXmasxaezondi bonasendiyihousewi fey e
bossy akhe?

Hi
m:"
ndi
yat
het
ha"
Me:"
Ntandopl
s,
Iam ti
redoff
ight
ing,
argui
ngand
quar
rel
ingwi
thyou"
Hi
m:"
buy
ake"
Me:
"andi
zokwaz"
Hi
m:"
awuf
uni
orawuzokwazi
"
Me:"ndizobuy
aNt
andowheny
ou'
reguest
sar
e
gone,notnow"
Hi
m:"
ubal
ekant
oni
"
Me:"
I'
m notrunni
ngawayfrom any
thingIjustneed
ti
mealone,
Ineedtobreat
hnotsuffocati
ngmy selfi
n
anunheal
thyenvi
ronment"
Hi
m:"
kay
,dowhat
everpl
easesy
ou"
Me:
"sur
e"

Ihungupngokwam kengok. ..
ohhayngcono
si
xabanewhokebutIknowny haniIwoul dn'
tsurvi
ve
kwindawoenabobonke. .
.My ekeuMar cusaside.I
gotupandmademy sel
fasandwi ch,Iwasn'thungry
Iwasbor edofdoingnothing.Ndat yafuthindalal
a
onthecouch.Isleptforsomet imet henIheard
musicplaying,
Iopenedmyey esandsawLuke' s
smile

Hi
m:"
happynewy
ear
"
Me:
"t
hesameIwi
sht
oyou"

Isatupandwehugged.
..
thenIfel
tsomet
hingl
ikea
nudgeinmyabdomenIkindashri
ekednj
ekancinci
butobvi
ousl
yhenoti
ced

Hi
m:"
whati
sit
"
Me:
"uhm.
..
justaLi
lpai
nher
e"
Hi
m:"
isi
tint
hest
omachorwhat
"
Me:
"l
owerabdomen"
Hi
m:"
weneedt
ogoseeadoct
or"
Me:
"noneed.
..
I'
l
lbef
ine"
Him:"whati
fit
stherest
artofthoseut
erusbleedi
ngs
youoncehand?Andy ou'r
epregnantt
histi
me
aroundwecan'taf
fordtori
sk"
Me:
"LuuIj
ustneedt
orestt
hat
'sal
l
"
Hi
m:"
I'
m nott
akingnoforananswer
,I
'
mtaki
ngy
ou
t
othedoct
orthat'
sfi
nal
"
-_
-Iwentt owearslippersndabuyasahamba. .Well
whatev eritwas,
itwaspai nf
ul i
ngat
hi ndenzadi zzy
kwal aphaent l
oko.Hedr ovethecarIhadwi thme
andtookmet othedoctorandwewer ethesecond
pati
entssosakhesaf ola.Myheadwasagai nstt he
wall
...
br eathi
ngslowlykhubonewheny ou'r
et ryi
ng
yourownt echni
quest onumbt hepain?Yeah
i
ntwezi njal
oke.Theni twasourt ur
n,wewenti n,
the
doctordi dalotoftests,
from bl
oodtour inethen
wasishiy aforafewmi nutes

Hi
m:"
how'
sthepai
n"
Me:
"aLi
lnumb"
Hi
m:"
didy
oudr
inkl
astni
ght
"
Me:
"no,
Idi
dn'
ttouchat
hing"

WellLukemightbetheli
vef
reety
p'abr
otherbut
whenhecares,hecarest
hemostevenmorethan
Marcus.Thedoctorr
etur
ned..
.
Luu:
"i
sthebabyf
ine"
?
Doc:"
yesasfarasIcansee,
butwe'
l
lneedt
odoa
sonartobequit
esure"

Lukelookedatme...Iwasn'
tgonnahaveasonar
wit
houtNt andoher:/ndi
ngabekant
indi
qal
aolunye
udushemnt akadad.

Me:
"whatcausedt
hepai
ns"

Him:"y
ou'r
ev eryhealt
hyMi ssSmith,buty
our
hypert
ensionandst r
esslevelsareveryhi
ghandt
hat
couldcausey outoloosethisfet
us"
Me:"
youmeanI
'm hy
pert
ensi
on?Li
kehi
ghbl
ood
pr
essur
eorsomethi
ng"
?
Him:"
it
snormal forapregnantwoman,buti tdoesn'
t
havetobetreatedifyoutakecareofy
our selfver
y
well
.Tryt
alking,
don'tbot
tlet
hingsup.
.you'r
ei na
v
erycr
it
ical
stageofpr
egnancyany
thi
ngi
spossi
ble"
Me:
"oh-
kay
"
Him:"
Ineedy
outobookinforasonarsothatwecan
seehowheal
thyt
hefet
usis,t
henwe'l
ltakei
tfrom
ther
e"
Luu:
"sot
hepai
ns"
?
Him:"
Igav ehermedicati
onandsl eepingtabl
etst
hat
wil
lhelpherrel
ax,t
hepainwillsubsidesoon,i
ts
nothi
ngmaj orbuti
fleftunat
tendedt heycoul
d
causefataldamage"
Luu:
"okay
,sowher
edowebook"
?
Hi
m:"
mysecr
etar
ysi
r"
Luu:
"t
hanky
oudoc"

Igotoffthebed,tookmymedsandf ol
lowedLukeas
hewentt opayatt hesecr etar
y'
sdeskandbooked
again.Il
efthi
mt her eandwentt othecar-
_-I
'm
getti
ngtir
edalready ,
yi
ntoy ani
niIni
nemonths?Mxm.
Intozohambauzi fakaezintweni.
..
hayi
maginehigh
bloodpressur
e?Howol dam Inah?Lukecamei n
anddroveustoMcDonal
d'sandheboughtmea
chocol
ateMcFlur
ryy
enawatyaachickenbur
ger.
..I
n
afewmi nut
esIsawMarcuswalki
nginyhohai
ke:(

Me:
"ohnoy
oudi
dn'
t"
Hi
m:"
hehasar
ightt
oknow"
Me:
"ohcummonLuu,
real
l
y"?

WathicwakaunyanakaSmi
th,Marcapproachedus
andaskedawaitert
obri
nghim whatLukeiseati
ng
gqi
bawahlalaphant
si

Hi
m:"
middag"
Us:
"hi
"
Hi
m:"
howy
ouf
eel
i
ng"
?
Me:
"goody
ou"
?
Hi
m:"
I'
m good,
whatdi
dthedoct
orsay
"?
Ndat
hul
a..
.l
oebembi
zi
lemakamphendul
e

Luu:
"hesay
sit
snot
hingmaj
orbutsheneedst
otal
k
more"
Hi
m:"
meani
ngy
ou'
rest
ressedout
"
Me:
"I
'm notst
ressedt
hough"
Luu:
"andherbl
oodpr
essur
eist
oohi
gh"
Hi
m:"
soy
ougotmedi
cat
ion"
Me:
"yes"

Wakhewat
hicwaka.
..

Him:
"don'
tyouwannacomef
ini
shoft
hehol
i
dayi
n
CapeTown"?
Me:
"why
"?
Him:
"Icoul
dtakey outoseemom anddad,
may
be
you'
l
lbeokayafteryou'
veseent
hem"
Me:
"oh"
Hi
m:"
thi
nkabouti
tokay
,I
'l
lbeher
eunt
ilMonday
"
Me:
"okay
,thanks"

Wechangedthesubjectandchattedaboutrandom
stuf
f.
..
maybeifIseemom andadndi zobari
ght
nyhani:
obutI
'm notst
ressednjena.
..
am Inot
supposedt
oknowxandi nestr
ess?
[
10/
9,19:
31]‪+27730692704‬:
#167

Whenwewer edone,al
lthr
eeofusheadedhome.
OnlythendidIr eal
i
zeIhadl eftmyphonebehi nd,
I
checkedmissedcal ls:
/well Iwasn'tgonnacall
Ntandosiphindesixabane,
li
keI '
vehadenoughof
thatf
oronedayokay .Ij
ustreturnedekaKuhle
befor
ecalli
ngbackuSosonoEv e..
.hi
sphonehalf-
rangwabesey bamba

Hi
m:"
Mfazi
kabhut
i,
unj
ani
"
Me:
"I
'm gr
eathowar
eyou"
Him:
"I
'm gr
eat
,wasjustchecki
ngony
ousi
nceIl
ast
sawyoulasty
ear"
:
)
Me:
"t
hanky
ousi
r"
Hi
m:"
whenl
astdi
dyouseemybr
other
"
Me:
"er
h,ear
li
ert
oday
"
Hi
m:"
oh,
IthoughtIwasgonnaseey
ouwi
thl
ast
ni
ght
"
Me:
"oh,
wher
e"
Hi
m:"
att
heShi
saNy
ama"
Me:
"youwer
ether
e"?
Hi
m:"
yeah,
buthopef
ull
yI'
l
lseey
out
odayathi
scr
ib"
Me:
"uhm,
act
ual
l
yno.I
'
m athome"
Him:
"you'
renotcomi
ngt
othel
atel
unchhe'
s
host
ing"
?
Me:
"no"
Hi
m:"l
ookiknowit
snoneofmybusi
nessbutuhm,
i
s
ev
ery
thingokay
"?
Me:
"yeah,
I
'mj
ustt
ir
ed.
..
not
hingmor
e"
Him:
"oh-
kay.Ikindai
nvi
tedSosokeandhewasal
so
hopi
ngtoseey ouaswell"
Me:"xanigqi
bil
ekal
okyoucancal
lI'
l
lgi
vey
ou
di
rectionstomyhouse"
Hi
m:"
okaykehav
eabl
essedday
"
Me:
"t
hanks,
enj
oyy
ourl
unch"
Hi
m:"
thanky
ou"

Mmmhsol aroom t
hatNtandowasin,l
ebebengxol
a
kuyowhenIwenttof et
chthecarkeys,
OoKuhle
bebephaya?Abonwabesana..
.Icall
edSoso,
naye
kubaebendi
founel
e

Hi
m:"
awsadi
ki
"
Me:"andi
yosecr
etar
ykal
okandzohl
alacamkwa
phoneoko"
Hi
m:"
unj
ani
"
Me:
"ndi
seshar
pwena"
Him:"
I'
m excit
ed,
yourbrother
s-i
n-l
awi
nvi
tedmet o
somel at
elunchyourmani shosti
ngi
ncelebr
ati
on
ofenteri
ngthenewy ear
"
Me:
"Ij
usthear
dfr
om Kay
"
Hi
m:"
youdi
dn'
tknow"
?
Me:
"Iknewt
her
e'sl
unchbutIdi
dn'
tknowwhoand
whoiscomi
ng"
Hi
m:"
oooh,
sohow'
smygodsondoi
ng"
?
Me:
"she'
sdoi
ngpr
ett
ywel
l
..
.gr
owi
ngt
hati
s"
Hi
m:"
mmh,
can'
twai
ttoseey
'al
l
"
Me:
"nei
thercanwe,
zukheunganxi
l
ikeSoso"
Hi
m:"
mna?Haybr
aandi
yoj
unki
eman"

Ndamhl
eka:
v:v

Hi
m:"
hayf
uthi
uyandi
l
ibazi
sa.
..
seey
oul
ater
"
Me:
"shar
p"
:
)wel lt
helastpersonhast obeEv el
ynSmithcoz
akadinwakuthethauy afananjenoSosobutwhenI
call
edherherphoner angaloneandtookmet o
voicemail
,Itr
iedtwomor etimesandgaveup
ndabekai phoney am phantsiandcuddl
edmy sel
fon
thecouchwat chingsomecr i
medocumentarythat
Mar cuswaswat ching.

Okaythepil
l
smusthav ebeentaki
ngthei
rtol
lonme
cozIf
ellasl
eeponthatcouch,
waswokenupby
MarcandIwentupstai
rsndayolal
akhona,
he
fol
l
owedandsatnearmyf eet

Hi
m:"
doey
ourboy
fri
endknow"
?
Me:
"boutwhat
"?
Hi
m:"
doct
or'
str
ip"
Me:
"no,
andhedoesn'
tneedt
oknow"
Him:"
buthedeser
vest
oknow,
he'
sthef
atheroft
hat
chi
ld"
Me:
"Iknowt
hat
"
Hi
m:"
thent
ell
him"
Me:
"pl
easeMar
c,canwej
ustdr
opt
hisconv
ersat
ion"
Him:"
youknowhe'
ll
neverf
orgi
vey
oui
fsomet
hing
happenedt
othechi
ldr
ight
"
Me:
"not
hingi
sgonnahappent
omychi
l
d"

Hesighedandgotout,
Iwokeupandclosedmydoor
l
ockingitgqi
bandal
alawit
hheadset
sonplayi
ng
cl
assicsoundtosmoothl
ytakemetothongol
and
andtheysurel
ydi
d.

Iwasl aterwokenupbyacal l
..
.Ihadnochoicebut
totakeit,cozobububhanxabeiPhoneautomati
cal
l
y
stoppedt hemusicandt ookt
hecallndi
vangezwi
l
ikaNt andongoku
Hi
m:"
hehS'
bongi
l
e"
Me:
"hm"
Hi
m:"
hai
boy
int
onngokkuni
nindt
het
ha"
Me:
"sor
rykhangendi
kuv
e"
Hi
m:"khangeundi
ve?Thenhowdoy ouexpl
ain
pi
cki
ngupt hecal
lkant
iawundi
va"
Me:
"i
zcof
il
elephone"
Hi
m:"
andy
ouexpectmet
obel
i
evet
hat
"
Me:
"no"

Hesighed.
..Iwait
ed,andmyfearwasthatifhe
doesn'
ttal
k,ndi
zol
alawhil
ehe'sontheotherendof
thel
ine

Hi
m:"
arey
ousl
eepi
ng"
Me:
"was"
Hi
m:"
goodt
hinguv
uki
l
e,Ineedy
out
odomeaf
avor
"
Me:
"andi
zokwazi
"
Hi
m:"
buty
oudon'
tknowwhat
'st
hef
avor
"

Nowwasmyt
urnt
osi
gh.
..

Him:"
IneedyoutogohelpoutuLibonoChloe,t
hey
needextr
ahandsandVincewon'
tbearoundf or
abouttwohour
s,buty
oucanleaveobuyakwakhe"
Me:
"l
ikeIsai
d,Ican'
t"
Hi
m:"
cummonbabeman"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ry"
Hi
m: "
it
sjustt
wohour
sqhat
henuzobuy
auphi
nde
ul
ale"
Me:
"kant
ibaqhel
eukwenzanj
ani
"?
Him:"
andi
yazkal
okmnay
ou'
ret
heonl
yopt
ionI
have"
Me:
"hayandi
zokwazshamesor
ry"
Hi
m:"
why
"
Ndat
hul
a..
.

Him:
"soyouwon'
thel
poutj
ustf
ornor
eason?
Real
l
y"?
Me:"
Ihav
ereason,
butndi
yakucel
afi
ndsomeone
el
se"
Hi
m:"
what
'sy
ourr
eason"
?
Me:
"pl
ease,
j
ustf
indsomeoneel
se"
Hi
m:"
khandi
phei
numberkaEv
e"

Icall
edi tout ,
her epeateditandhungup.Ndasol e
ndivukaIcoul dn'thelpOoLi bobasedonmany
reasonsbesi desl eyobaI '
m notf eelingwell.
..
oko
kuqalaasi zof ri
ends,neh?Ndi y i
ledisturbancekalok
kwi r
elationshi py abosoweendedt hefri
endship
andcutal lt
ies,theonlyv i
sibleisNt andoonl yonthe
familyside,notbecausehe' st heirboss.Nowhowi s
i
tpossi blebabaf uneuncedwa?Ndi m ofal lpeopl
e?
Can'tdo.Secondl y,
myf eethadn' tr
eal l
yrested,
Iwas
onmyf eetsi ncet hetimeIwokeupandt heywere
reall
ypuff
edup,pl
usthemedicat
ionthedoc
prescri
bedformewaswor ki
ngsoIcouldn'tr
isk
uyowelangaaaphakudeIneededtoall
owi tt
owork
throughwit
houtdi
str
acti
onswhatsoever.
[
10/
9,19:
32]‪+27730692704‬:
#168

Myguesswashi spar t
yorlunchsey iqalil
ecozI
couldhearl oudvoicesonhi sbackgr ound...Iwent
downst air
st ocooksupperf ormnanoLukecozl o
unguMar cusobviouslyuzotyaphay a.Iroast edl
amb
andmadechakal akaandpap.I twasqui telatesoI
l
ockedt hedoorsandcl osedallwindows, made
my sel
fcof feendahlalandabukelaser i
esy e
Vampir esonmyl aptop.Marccalled...
ingath
uzandizaent l
okokel o

Me:
"hi
"
Hi
m:"
youst
il
lokay
"?
Me:
"yest
hanks"
Hi
m:"
isLuubacky
et"
?
Me:
"no"
Hi
m:"
you'
resur
eyou'
reokay
"
Me:
"yesMar
cI'
mfi
ne"
Hi
m:"
cal
li
fyouneedany
thi
ng"
Me:
"Iwi
l
l,
arey
ousl
eepi
ngher
e"?
Hi
m:"yes.
..
butIt
hinky
ou'
l
lbef
astasl
eepwhenI
r
etur
n"
Me:
"mmh"
Hi
m:"remembert
otakeyourmedicat
ionandrest
,I
'
ll
j
ustcheckuponLuuandfindoutwhereheis"

Ihear
dNt
andoont
hebackgr
ound.
..

Me:
"ev
ery
thi
ngokay
"?
Hi
m:"
yeahuhm,
Igot
tago"
Me:
"okay
"
Hehungup.
..
theni
tstr
uckme,
Ntandomusthav
e
hear
dngokuuMarcathet
hangemeds:oi
fhe
di
d,t
henI
'mindeepshi
t.
Pastei
ghtSi
hlecal
l
edmeIwaseat
ingsupperi
nmy
room ,
i
nmyPJs

Me:
"Si
hle"
Hi
m:"
hey
,ushar
p"
Me:
"yeahwena"
Him:"
I'
m good.
..
plssendust
heGPScoor
dinat
est
o
yourhouse"
Me:
"okay
"

Thenwehungup. ..
Isentthem t
hecoordinates
ndaqhubekekandatya,
aft
eracoupleofmi nutest
hey
cal
ledsay i
ngIshoul
dopent hegateIwentdownand
openedf ort
hem.Surpri
sesmecozuNt ando
ndavelandavukasêkhonaphendli
ni:/ormay be
wavulelwanguLukeke?Any waytheydroveinandI
unl
ockedt hedoorbangenalooki
ngdapperand
obviouslysmel
lingormeatandbooze,
Il
edthem t
o
theloungesahl
al apha..
.mymedswereonthecof
fee
tabl
e- _
-Itookthem ndayozi
bekaer
oomin,
Kuhl
ehad
hiseyeonme, mxm, Icameback.

Soso:
"sot
hisi
swhereyou'
rehi
dingy
our
sel
f,
you
l
ivi
ngli
keapri
ncesst
hough"
Me:
"ohSoso"
Soso:
"ny
hani
.
..baphi
obhut
ibakho"

Ihear
dthegat
eopen.
..

Me:
"t
hatmustbeoneoft
hem,
howwasl
unch"
Si
hle:
"Igot
tagi
vei
ttoy
ou,
uyaphekamnt
anomnt
u"
Kuhl
e:"
whaohwai
tup,
SHEcooked"
?
Si
hle:
"wel
lthat
'
swhatt
hebi
gguysai
d"
Soso:"
heee!Nam bendi
ngazi
,
youout
didy
our
sel
f
ntwanayam"
Me:
"wel
l
..
.t
hanky
ouguy
s"
Si
hle:
"sowhydi
dn'
tyouj
oinus"
?
Me:
"Iuhm,
Ihadsomeot
herst
ufft
odo"
Soso:
"mmmhIsee"
Si
hle:
"mmh.
hm nam ngat
hiIseent
wana"

Lol
Ijustl
aughedatt
hei
rsi
l
li
ness:
v:vLuuwal
kedi
n

Hi
m:"
eveni
nggent
s"
Us:
"hel
l
o"
Me:
"uhm guy
s,canIof
fery
ouany
thi
ng"
?
Kuhl
e:"
jui
cepl
s"
Soso:
"doy
ouhav
eany
thi
ngst
ronger
"?
Si
hle:
"I
'm wi
thSosoont
hatone"

:
vIl
ookedatLuuandwalkedt
otheki
tchenndabuy
a
nej
uicef
orKayndamni
kaandsatdownwithmy
ownzandi
j
ongaezi

Me:
"Luu"
Hi
m:"
babygi
rl
"
Me:
"yourf
oodi
sint
heov
en"
Hi
m: "
okay..
.Gent
s,y
ousayy
ouwantsomet
hing
st
ronger"
Si
hle:
"youhav
e"?
Hi
m:"
nobutI'mjustwonder
ingwhyy
ouwoul
dleav
e
af
ull
yloadedpart
ythr
oat-
dry"
Soso:"
thepart
yisfarf
rom ov
er,
butsi
ncewe
promisedthi
sladywe'
regonnacomearound,
wehad
toleave"
Hi
m:"
mmh,
nowl
emmeeatupt
henwe'
l
lhi
tther
oad"
Si
hle:
"t
her
e'senoughf
oodt
her
e,l
et'
sgo"
Him:"
nope,
youseethatpr
ett
yface?Itcant
ransf
orm
ver
yfast.
..
Idon'
twannabethecause"
:
vny
hani
?
Hetookhi sfoodandat eup,Kuhlewasconst antl
yon
hi
sphoneandev enmor equi t
e...
unli
kethesetwo.I
heardoneofmyphoner i
ngingf r
om upstai
rs
ndabashiyaandwentupndaf ikainaeightmissed
cal
lsIjustsattherethi
nking..
.shoul
dIcallhi
m back?
ShouldInot?Waf ounangokwakhe

Me:
"mml
ow"
Hi
m:"
what
'sgoi
ngonwi
thy
ourphones"
Me:
"not
hing"
Hi
m:"
kuni
nindi
kuf
ounel
a"
Me:
"kungonandi
zbonay
omi
ssedcal
l
szakho"
Hi
m:"
usezobuy
a"?
Me:
"nott
oday
"
Hi
m:"
ngoba"
?
Me:
"i
syourl
unchout
"?
Hi
m:"
noty
et"
Me:
"t
henI
'
m notcomi
ng"
Hi
m:"
ndi
yabuzakal
okngoba"
Me:"becauseIneedtor
est
,i
naacalm env
ironment
.
Kwakhokuy angxol
waIcanevenheary
our
background"
Hi
m:"
okay
..
.goodni
ght
"
Me:
"ni
ght
"

Ijustshookmyheadandwentbackdownstair
s..
.
Theguy swereleav
ing,
theyal
lhuggedmeandLuke
tookmeasi de.

Hi
m:"
youokaybei
ngal
oner
ightnow"
?
Me:
"gooutandhav
efun"
Hi
m:"
okay
,comeher
e,cal
meany
timeI
'
llcomeback"
Me:
"okay
"

Wehuggedbaphuma.
..Kuhl
est
ayedbehi
ndesel
a
amanzi,
Iwai
tedf
orhi
mt ot
alkcozIwassurethere
wassomethi
nghewantedt
osay .
..
hetur
nedtoleave
thenst
opped

Hi
m:"
arey
ousur
eyou'
reokay
"?
Me:
"yep"
Hi
m:"
themeds"
Me:
"whataboutt
hem"
Hi
m:"
they
'r
edat
edt
oday
"
Me:
"Iknow.
..
"

Hesi
ghed.
..
tr
yingt
ogett
her
ightwor
ds.

Him:"
youknowy
oucant
alkt
ome,
ri
ghtabout
anyt
hing"
Me:
"t
her
e'snot
hingt
otal
kabout
,but
,I
'
llkeept
hati
n
mi
nd"
Hi
m:"
okay
,shar
p"
Me:
"enj
oyt
heni
ght
"

Theylef
t.
..
Ilockedandjustsl
ouchedthere..
.Hahaha
mxm,Isweari fIwasn'
tpr
egnantIwouldn'tbefound
i
nthishouse,Iswear.
[
10/
9,19:
32]‪+27730692704‬:
#169

Iswit
chedofal
lli
ght
sandwentt
obed.
..
thenI
recei
vedacal
lfr
om Anel
i
sa

Me:
"hi
"
Her
:"
hopeIdi
dn'
twakey
ou"
Me:
"nobutIwasaboutt
osl
eep"
Her
:"
okayIwon'
tbel
ong"
Me:
"oh-
kay
"
Her
:"
Ijustwant
edt
oof
fery
ousomef
ri
endl
yadv
ice"
Me:
"r
egar
ding"
?
Her
:"
yourr
elat
ionshi
p,af
terl
acal
lIr
eal
i
zedt
haty
ou
r
eal
l
yar
einl
ovewi
thhi
m BUTy
oumustbecar
eful
"
Me:
"car
eful
,
ofwhat
"?
Her:"
peopleli
keme.
..
that'
sjustanexampl
e,
butke.
Thingis,
whil
eIwaswithhim Imadethebi
ggest
mistakethatIl
iv
edt
or egr
etbutinti
megottenover
"
Me:
"whi
chi
s"?
Her
:"
tr
ust
inghi
sex.
..
nev
erdot
hat
"
Me:
"ev
eny
ou"
?
Her:
"ev
enme, exescanbej
eal
ousandcruel
especi
all
yify
ouseem happyi
nyourr
elati
onshi
p"
Me:
"wow.
..
thanksf
ort
headv
iceIguess"
Her
:"
you'
rewel
come,
happynewy
ear
"
Me:
"yout
oo"

Thenwehungup. .
.erh..
.t
hatwasunexpectedbut
valuabl
eIshoul
dsay .Isearchedformybigcuddl
e
teddy^_^andcuddledi nit
scomf yfurcozIwasfar
awayf r
om sl
eeping,bendingozeli
onebit.
Itookmyl aptopandwatchedmov i
eswhilein
bed,hal
fwayIwentdownst ai
rsandtooksomef ood
tonibbl
eon. .
.past12r
ightaf
termidni
ghtIfel
lasleep
sti
llwat
ching.
Thef oll
owi ngmor ningIwokeupandt hehousewas
abuzzwi thnoi se, Ididn'twakeupbecauseIwant ed
to,ha.andivuswey ingxolofrom l oudghet tomusi ct o
voice,l
aughi ng, scr eaming,chat t
ingandot hers
singing/r
appi ngal ong- _-Igrabbedmygown, wor e
sli
pper sandwentdownst airsonl yt
of i
ndt helounge
fl
oodedbyhal fNt ando'screwwi ththeirgirlf
ri
ends
orwi vesormi st r
essesl azingt here.
..Hav inga
massi vebreakf astf east.Ij
ustgr eetedandwent
throught ot heki tchenf ikakukhouLukeandsome
thatIdidn'tr eal lyknow: /IthinkngababaseDur ban

Me:
"mor
ning"
Them:
"mor
ning"
1guy:
"Lukasmybroer
,youdi
dn'tmenti
ony
ouhav
e
suchabeauti
ful
roseinyourgarden"
Thest enchofal cohol :
'
(ndakhony ulukaspeed. ..I
passedhi m andopenedt hef r
idge.Therewasno
milk.Okay .Iopenedt hecupboar dlookingf oranyof
mycer eal
snehat l
eastzonandi yazazizikhona,
i buy
twoboxesamont hbetweenSpeci al KandAl lBran
andl astmont h?Thewhol eDecemberIwasi nEast
Londonsondi surezikhona..
.whenIopenedt he
cupboar dkwakhoi nt
oet hiImustl ookatt hebin:'
(I
sawt hecer ealboxndat yhafaforreal.
..Ilookedat
Luke...
thatquizzicall
ook

Hi
m:"
erh.
..We'
l
lbuygr
ocer
iesl
atert
oday
"
Me:
"gr
eat
"
Hi
m:"
buty
oucanhav
-"

Iwasalreadyonmyf ourt
hstooptomybedr oom. .
.I
tookmyt imeyouknow, openedthewindows, made
mybed, cl
eanedupandwentt obath.Afterbathi
ngI
couldn'
treal
lytakethemedsonanempt ystomach
nowcanI ?Ijustsearchedforsomethingbeaut i
fult
o
bri
ghtenupmygl oomydayandaddl i
fetomydead
mood. .
.Ifoundy el
lowhi ghwai stshorts.
..
not
bumshor tskindashor ts,butthey '
reveryshort
too,
mat chedt hem upwi thabl uepeplum topt hathe
l
acet hewhol eback, Iwor ebluepl at
form heelsand
tookay ell
owishandgol dclutchbag.Myhai rhad
thatwav yfeelafterlalunchwi thLuke'swomansoI
j
ustusedhai rsprayandabi gcombt oenhancet he
curl
s...
putongoodper fume,lookedmy sel
fint he
mirrorandsmi l
ed:)Ifeel beaut i
fulnyhani,
ndaphumamaki ngsur eIhav ebot hmyphonesand
walletwithme.I mmedi atel
yasIsetf ootont he
ground,Marcappear edwi thLuke

Mar
c:"
Idi
dn'
tknowy
ou'
regoi
ngout
"
Me:
"I
'l
ll
ety
ouknownextt
ime"
Luu:
'
'any
wher
especi
fi
c"
Me:
"Mapony
amal
l
,Sandt
onCi
ty.
..
Idon'
tknow"
Luu:
"I
'm sor
ryabouty
ourcer
eal
s"
Me:"
itsjustfood,
don'
tbesor
ry.Ihav
etogo,
enj
oy
whateverthatis"
Mar
c:"
enj
oywhat
everi
tisy
ou'
regoi
ngt
odo"
Me:
"Ipl
ant
o"

Seconddayi ntot hey earandIwasf eelinglikeit

s
Xmas, Iwashappy ,
content,
fr
ee,l
ight,optimisti
c,
ali
ve.
..Icouldgoon.It ookkeyst otheGTi and
walkedout ,
asIr eachedt heparkinglot..
.f
ourblack
carswer eparking,Ir
eleasedalongbr eathand
coll
ectedmyconf idencecozjustt hesightoft hese
carsdr ai
nedme.Ipr etendednott oseeanyof
them,openedt heGTi andwasaboutt ogoi nwhena
famil
iarvoicespokeupndabandaumqol owonke. .
.

Hi
m:"
youl
ookbeaut
if
ul"
Me:
"t
hanks"

Igoti
nthecarandclosedt
hedoor
..
.hecameand
l
eanedagai
nstthecar
Hi
m:"
goi
ngoutsoear
lyi
nthemor
ning"
Me:
"ear
lybi
rdcat
chest
hemostwor
ms"
Hi
m:"
mh,
Iwashopi
ngIcoul
dtal
ktoy
oui
npr
ivat
e"
Me:
"i
sn'
tthi
spr
ivat
eenoughf
ory
ou"
Hi
m:"
ndonqenanokubambez
elakal
ok"
Me:
"ohokay
"
Hi
m:"
socany
oumakeachancel
ater
"
Me:"
ifthi
sisaboutgoingtoyourpl
ace,
hel
pingoLibo
agai
norgoi ngshoppi
ngandcookingfory
ourfr
iends
oremployeeswhatevertheyar
etoyouIam sor
ry
Z'
khali
andizokwazi"
Hi
m:"
no,
i
tsaboutus"
Me:
"us"
?
Him:"
Idon'tli
kehowthingsarebetweenus.
..
butli
ke
Isai
d,Idon'
twannakeepy ou.Justmaketi
met hen
we'l
ltal
kthingst
hrough"
Me:
"ay
t"
Ist
artedmycaranddroveoff.
..
Ineededbreakf
ast
ver
y,f
astcozmystomachwaschur ningoutandaz
whycozndil
elendi
hlut
hikak'
hlemos.
[
10/
9,19:
32]‪+27730692704‬:
#170

IreachedWi mpyandorderedbreakf
astformysel
f,
I
sattherewishi
ngIcoul
dr ever
sethetime..
.makeal
l
thewr ongs,
ri
ght
.Sosocalledme

Me:
"Ti
tus"
Hi
m:"
uphi
nah,
I
'm aty
ourcr
ibkut
hwauhambi
l
e"
Me:
"sazi
khuphi
l
e"
Hi
m:"
wit
houtme?You'
renotaf
ri
endkanj
an"
Me:
"you'
reonl
ysay
ingt
hatcozy
ouf
oundnew
f
ri
ends"
Hi
m:"
mxm f
ri
endt
ell
mewher
eyouar
eman"
Me:
"I
'm hav
ingbr
eakf
asti
ntown"
Hi
m:"
oooh,
may
bey
ou'
l
lbumponKuhl
ehe'
sal
soi
n
t
own"
Me:
"Ihopenot
"
Hi
m:"
whydoIgetaf
eel
i
ngy
ou'
reav
oidi
ngus"
Me:
"Idon'
tknow"
Hi
m:"
babe"

Ndathicwaka...YhoIcoul dn'
tholditi
nanyl onger.I
wascar r
yingthisanger,thisnonsensi
calburdenf or
solongitwaswei ghingmedownny hani
andI
couldn'
thaveseeni tcomi ng.
..
thoughIpl
ay edso
muchpar tincausingit.IknowIsoundst upidright
now: /

Hi
m:"
Tee"
Me:
"khay
ekeSoso"
Hi
m:"
I'
m comi
ng"
Me:
"don'
t,
ndi
zobuy
asi
thet
he"
Hehungup. ..
IknewSosouzozaaphaf orrealeven
thoughIdidn'
ttellhi
m ndiphi,
heknowssiqhel
eutya
ewi mpyIbreakfast,
ndiqheli
swenguyekefuthnal
o
Wimpy .Iat
eupmymeal counti
ngtheminutes
beforeafi
ke..
..

Hi
m:"
Iknewy
ou'
dbeher
e"
Me:
"shoul
dIor
derf
ory
ou"
?
Hi
m:"
please"

Igotupandorder
edforhimt
hesamet
hingIwas
eati
ngthenIr
etur
nedtothet
abl
e,
hewasdri
nking
mycoffee

Me:
"sowhat
'
sup"
Hi
m:"
I'
m wor
ri
edabouty
ou"
Me:
"ndi
grandmanSoso,
Iseewonwabi
l
eeJo'
bur
g"
Hi
m:"
yourmani
sagoodhost
"
Me:
"Iknow"
Hi
m:"
sot
ell
mewhat
'
seat
ingy
ou"

Hisfoodcamet hroughndathat
haeyakheikof
uand
conti
nuedeat
ing,akatyawandij
onga,
nowIwas
uncomfort
abl
e,Ireall
yhadnochoicebuttotal
kri
ght
now

Hi
m:"
I'
m noteat
ingunt
ily
out
ell
mewhat
'sgoi
ngon"
Me:
"wehadaf
ight
"
Hi
m:"
didhebeaty
ouup"
?
Me:
"notaphy
sical
one,
ver
bal
"
Hi
m:"
whendi
ditst
art
"
Me:"t
hatdaywhenwewentt othewaterf
all
,
Isent
him api
candhegotfuri
ous,well
Idi
dn'tr
eall
y
underst
andthencozIwasjustshar
ingmy
exci
tementwithhi
m"
Hi
m:"
hegotf
uri
ousbecauseofwhaty
oudi
d"?
Me:
"i
nmyapparent'condi
ti
on'
kalokI
'
m endangeri
ng
t
hebaby,
fori
nst
ancebabendiwil
eIwoul
dhav elost
t
hebabyi
nstant
ly"
Hi
m:"
ooh,
sodi
dyouapol
ogi
zeke"
Me:"
notimmediat
ely,
butIdi
d,Iguessitwast
ool
ate
kecozther
e'sst
il
lsometensi
onbet weenus"
Hi
m:"
yho,
str
essi
ngi
snotgoodf
ory
ou"
Me:"
Iknow,t
hat
'swhyIcoul
dn'
tspendt
heNew
Year
slunchwit
hy'al
l
"
Hi
m:"
wher
ewer
eyouont
henewy
ear
sEv
e"
Me:
"wewentt
otheShi
saNy
ama"
Hi
m:"
butIdi
dn'
tseey
ou,
ubundawni
"
Me:
"youwer
ether
e?Ohkanene,
beni
kul
aroom"
Him:"
soyoutr
ynat
ellmeheleftyouall
alonepha
phandl
eyenawahl
alanat
hi?Haibothat
'scruel
"
Me:
"Ideser
vei
twet
huSoso"
Him:
"hayf
ondi
n,wor
sey
ouev
encookedl
alunch?
Kodwaani
thet
hi"
Me:
"i
twasmyownwayofapol
ogi
zi
ngkal
okbutt
o
noav
ail
"
Hi
m:"
ngxaki
yakhokey
ipr
ide"
Me:
"butSoso"
Him:"andIl
earnedthathei
saboss.
..
ever
ywher
e,so
akukhoLulanakuyetosubmit
"

Ikeptqui
et.
..

Hi
m:"
thepi
l
ls"
Me:
"Kuhl
e"
Hi
m:"
noIal
sosawt
hem ont
het
abl
e"
Me:
"Ihadsomestr
angepai
nsesi
swi
nisoLuut
ook
metothedoct
or"
Hi
m:"
kwat
hiwani
"
Me:
"st
ressandbl
oodpr
essur
e"
Hi
m:"
uzofakelomnt
anaTri
naandthatni
qqawon'
t
j
ustf
ightv
erball
ywi
thyou,
he'
l
lBeastyoutoapul
p"
Me:
"don'
texagger
ateman"

Wandijongawahl
eka...Wasogqi
bawat
yaakaphinda
athet
he.Weatefinishndali
ndakuy
ekebasit
hini
si
ncehe'stheonewhof ol
l
owedmendizi
hambela.I
paidforourbr
eakfastsaphuma

Me:
"uzengant
oni
"?
Hi
m:"
Kuhl
edr
oppedmeof
f"
Me:
"masambeke"

Wegoti
nthecar,Idr
ov eustot
heci
tymal
l
...Ret
ail
t
her
apynevergoeswr ong.

Hi
m:"
siy
aphi
kengoksi
si"
Me:
"shoppi
ng"
Hi
m:"
mnandi
yaphi
I'
m br
okeasf
uck"
Me:
"you'
reheart
ocar
rymybagssweet
y,andi
thi
nana?Uncl
eSosowi
l
lcar
rymommy
'sbags"

Wahl
eka.
..Wewentshoppi
ng,
Iwasf
ini
shi
ngof
fmy
l
asty
earscent
s.

Whenwegott ired,wewentt ohavesomel ightsnack

ofseaf oodonourwaybackIgr abbedast rawberry
shake, gav ehi mt hecarkey sandthenheaded
home. .
.whenwer eachedt heparkinglot
,t
her ewas
pract i
cal l
ynospaceIt oldhi mtogopar kint he
backy ar dcozwedi dn'thav eanyopt i
onsxakugcwel e
nakwi fronty ard.Hehel pedmewi thmybagsand
wal kedmei nsi det hehouse- _-kugcwelekanj ani
kulendl u?Ev enout si
demt chanam cabanjeng' baI
partybebey iqalekwaNt andoizolotoday
bazol wenzaIaf terpartyapha.Sosof oll
owedmet o
myr oom, Iremov edmyshoesandwor e
sli
pper s,drankmymedsandunpackedashe
returneddownst ai
rs..
.Luuwal kedi n

Me:
"sup"
Hi
m:"
wehav
easmal
lpr
obl
em"
Me:
"we"
?
Him:"t
heseguysyousee.
..
thi
sisonl
ythr
eequar
ter
s
ofthem,t
here'
sst
ill
morecoming"
Me:
"asi
n,
comi
ngher
e?Li
ke,
today
"?

Henod...Icouldn'
tbel
i
eveit
.Buty
indl
uyakhe:/but
thenagainsincewhendoesheenter
tai
nthesekinda
peopl
e?Ohwai t,
si
ncehe'
sMarc'
sbother
.Mxm.

Hi
m:"
Icanar
rangewit
hSiv
eift
henoisebecomes
t
oomuchoryoufeel
uncomfor
tabl
earoundthem"
Me:
"mmh,
don'
twor
ryabouti
t"
Hi
m:"
buty
ouhear
dwhatt
hedoct
orsai
d"
Me:
"I
'l
lfi
ndaway
,don'
tbot
hery
ourwi
fet
obeokay
"
Him:
"okay
,j
ustl
etmeknowwhat
every
ouconcl
ude
on"
Me:
"wi
l
ldo"
Hel ookedatmyf ullbedandl aughedashewal ked
out..
.i
naweekort wowe' ll
ber egi
steri
ngforschool
againsohecan' treall
yblameagi rlforwanti
nga
newwar drobeneh:D.Itookmybagandpacked
PJs,toi
letr
ies,
changingclothesandmyl aptop..
.some
thi
ngst hatIwassur eI'
m gonnaneedwhenI 'm not
here,i
ncludingamayezanepi l
l
szam.ThenIcal led
Ntando...

Hi
m:"
hi"
Me:
"ndcel
auxol
oifndi
yakuphazami
sa"
Hi
m:'
nosweat
"
Me:"
canyoupl
scomet
omyr
oom ,
upst
air
ssecond
doorony
ourri
ght
"
Hi
m:"
okay
"

Ihungupandwai t
ed.
..Ihear
daknock,gotupand
openedforhi
m wangenaandmadehi mself
comfort
able,
Icl
osedthedoorandsatdown
Hi
m:"
soy
ouwannat
alknow"
?
Me:
"act
ual
l
yno"
Hi
m:"
no"
?
Me:"Iuhm,Ineedaf
avorf
rom y
oubuti
fyoucan'
t,
I
'l
l
understand"
Hi
m:"
okay
"
Me:
"cel
aundobol
ekey
ourhousekey
s"
Hi
m:"
why
"?
Me:
"Idon'
tthi
nkIcanspendanighthere,
i
tst
oo
l
oud,
toocrowded.
..
toomucheveryt
hing"
Hi
m:"
okay
,ononecondi
ti
on"
Me:
"ha.
ake"
Hi
m:"
youhav
en'
tev
enhear
dmycondi
ti
on"
Me:
"okaywhati
sit
"
Hi
m:"
Igett
odr
ivey
ou"
Me:"
yousee?No,
xandi
funaubuy
aaphay
ouwon'
t
dr
ivemebackhere"
Hi
m:"
choi
cei
syour
s"

Ndamjonga.
..Ineededt
oreal
l
ytakeagoodl
ookat
t
hisguy:o

Me:
"okayt
hanks,
buter
hm,
I
'l
lfi
ndsomet
hingel
se"
Him:"
sojustbecauseyouthi
nkIwon'
tret
urny
ou
backhomey ou'
dr at
herst
ayher
e"
Me:"
yes,
thi
sismyhomesongconokendi
hlal
enoba
andi
zol
alancam"
Hi
m:"
aw'
phi
l
angakodwaS'
bongi
l
endi
kuncami
l
e"

Iheardaknockndaphakamaandopenedt hedoor
..
I
wasn'tgonnaanswerNtando,
notatal
l
...
Kuhl
e
walkedincarr
yingaSt
eersbrownbag:v

Hi
m:"
bigguy
"
Bae:
"smal
l
,ushar
p"
Hi
m:"
ndi
shar
pbhut
iwena"
Bae:
"ndi
shar
pnam,
ul
eqway
int
on"
Hi
m:"bendi
zojongal
osi
siebengazi
varight
umgqibel
akwam butI'
m sorryf
ordist
urbingy
abo,
I
di
dn'
tknowy ou'r
eher
e.I'
l
ljustl
eavethisTee"
Me:
"t
hankssan"

ItookThebagandputi tonthedressi
ngt able,
Kuhle
turnedandl eft
,IknewIwasi nsomeki ndatrouble
:(y etagai
n...
I'
l
l nev ergett
hisrel
ati
onshipthingri
ght
yaz,may beIwasj usttooharshonLandile
shame, maybeny hani.

Hi
m:"
ubungekhor
ightubut
heni
"?
Me:
"i
tsnot
hingt
owor
ryy
our
sel
fabout
"
Him:"
butsomet
hingt
owor
ryKuhl
e?What
'sgoi
ngon
here"
Me:
"not
hingi
sgoi
ngon"
Iret
urnedmybagsintomycloset
,I'
m certai
nlynot
gonnasettl
eforhi
spartoft
hedealjustbecauseI'
m
desperat
e.

Me:
"t
hanksf
ory
ourt
ime,
wecangodownst
air
s"
Hi
m:"Si
bongi
l
eI'
m aski
ngagai
n,
whatdi
dKuhl
e
mean"
Me:
"hemeant
-"
Hi
m:"nowpl easebecarefulhowy ouanswer
t
hat.
..
becausei fy
oulietome, andthenIf
indoutby
mysel
f..
.baby,
Iwon'tbetalki
nglikeIam r
ightnow"
Me:
"i
sthatat
hreat
"?
Him:
"no,
it
sapr omise.
..
nowt
alkt
ome,
Iwanty
o
knoweveryt
hing"

Isighedandlookedatmytoes..
.ndi
zothi
whyam I
evenstressedKuNtando?Surel
yhewon' t
understandthatwe'
rebot
htoblamef ort
his.
Me:
"heuhm,
hesawsomemedi
cati
onont
hecof
fee
t
abl
ewhentheycamet
oseemeizol
o"
Hi
m:"
medi
cat
ion?Yant
on"
Me:
"yam"
Hi
m:"
you'
resi
ck"
?
Me:
"no"
Hi
m:"
thenwhydoy
ouownmedi
cat
ion"
?
Me:
"Iwasgi
venbyudoct
or"
Him:"whendi dyougot ot
hedoctorandwhyam I
onlyhearingthisnow?IfuKuhl
ehadn'tcomehere
youwoul dn'thavetol
dmer i
ght
?Kantiunjani
na
S'bongi
le?Thi si
snotYOURbaby ,
heisOURS,WE
madehi m. .
.notyoual
one"

Iwaslookingatmyf eet ,
Icouldhearhi m but
becausehewasnott alki
ng, hewasshout ingndavel
a
ndablankngokuat hethayo. .
.Hi
sv oi
ce,
hisv oi
cewas
makingawei rdnoiseinmyear s,l
ikeaper sonwho's
screamingwhileinarol l
ercoasteroramer ry-
go-
roundkindathing.Nextt hinghejumpedf rom wher
e
hewasandgrabbedat
owelt
hatwasnear
..
.et
het
ha
andmumbli
ngsomecursi
ngwor
ds

Hi
m:"
fuckNOman!Hel
lNOS'
bongi
l
e."

Isawhi m bl
urr
il
ywett
ingthatt
owelwiththewateri
n
theglass,
thesameglassIusedwhenIwasdr i
nking
mymeds.Heputt hetowelonmyforeheadand
kindapushedmeont hebigpil
l
owssoIr est
[
10/
9,19:
35]‪+27730692704‬:
#171

ForasecondIhadablackout.
..
whenIrecuper
ated
hewasst i
lll
ooki
ngatme,hi
sfacest
il
lkinda
shocked.Isatupandwi
pedmynosendaphakama

Hi
m:"
cel
auhl
alephant
si"
Me:
"Ineedwat
er"
Waphakamaandwentt othebat
hroom withmy
gl
asswabuy anamanzi
,
Idrankhal
fofit,
ndaphakama
anddrankmymedshopi ngndi
berightcozandazani
nanosebleedi
ngmos.

Me:
"I
'm sor
ry"
Hi
m:"
don'
t"
Me:"
plsdon'tt
ellmybrot
her
saboutt
his,
bazo
pani
ckerfornothi
ng"
Hi
m:"
I'
m sor
rybabe"
Me:
"don'
tapol
ogi
zef
orwhaty
oudi
dn'
tdo"

Wat
hul
a..
.

Me:
"souhm,
thekey
"

Her
emovedthekeyfr
om hi
spocketwandi
nika,
I
t
ooki
tndaphakamandat
hat
habagszam.Hehel ped
mewi t
hleinempahlat
henwewalkedoutl
ike
not
hinghappened.Iwentt
oLuke,
pul
ledhi
m asi
de

Hi
m:"
heysup"
Me:
"I
'l
lspendt
heni
ghtathi
scr
ib"
Hi
m:"
ohokay
,goodni
ght
"
Me:
"i
tsst
il
lmi
dday
"
Hi
m:"
Iknow"

Ihuggedhim andf ol
l
owedaf t
erNt ando,heopened
hi
scarandIgoti nIwasn' tgonnaar guewi t
hhim
ngoku,butmnaxandi funaugodukandi zobhoka
i
scukuf orreal.Healsogoti nwaqhubai nsi
lenceke
ukyakwakhe, safi
kaIwal kedrightbehindhim
nangokuwav ulasangenaendl i
niIsatont hecouch
ndali
ndakeanot herl
ecturewabuy aer oominandsat
downnextt ome, myfeetwer eonthegr ound,he
l
ift
edt hem upandputt hem onhi sl apndathulamna
ndajongaphambi l
i
Hi
m:"
youshoul
dhav
etol
dmey
ou'
renotf
eel
i
ngwel
l
"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ry"
Hi
m:"
babedon'
t.
..
yazr
ightnowIfeell
ikecrap.Can
west
artov
er,
Iwannamaker i
ghtwit
hy ou"
Me:
"t
hingsar
eri
ghtwi
thme"
Him:"
thenwhat
'
sst
ressi
ngy
ousomuchi
fit
snotme?
Us"?

Isi
ghed.
..

Me:"It
hinkmystresscomesf r
om mypar
ent
s
si
tuati
on,ey
am nawejustbecameaddi
ti
onal
fact
ors"
Hi
m:"
okaybutst
il
l,
l
et'
sst
artaf
resh"
Me:
"okay
"
Hi
m:"Iwannaknowwhatmadey
ougot
othedoct
or
i
nthefir
stpl
ace"
Me:
"It
houghtwewer
est
art
ingf
resh"
Hi
m:"
Ijustwannaknowi
fmychi
l
disi
nanydanger
"
Me:
"t
hedocsai
dshe'
sfi
ne"
Hi
m:"
didhedot
hescan"
Me:
"no"
Hi
m:"
howcanhebesur
eifhedi
dn'
tdot
hescan"
?
Me:
"ohNt
ando"
Hi
m:"
I'
mjustaski
ng"

Ndathul
a..
.Igotupandwenttotheki
tchen,
Imade
sugarwateranddrankpha,
Iki
ndafel
t
nauseas,
may bei
twasthesmellofbl
ood.Ndabuy
a
ethet
haefounini
,
Iswit
chedontheTVputonlow
volumewathethawagqiba

Hi
m:"
soi
thi
niwayf
orwar
d,f
orus"
?
Me:
"mybrot
hert
hinksIshoul
dgot
oCapeTownf
or
awhi
le"
Hi
m:"
whataboutschool
"
Me:
"I
'l
lbebackkal
ok"
Hi
m:"
doy
ouwantt
o"
Me:
"Idon'
tknow.
..
butI
'
dli
ket
oseemypar
ent
s"
Hi
m:"
theni
ya"
Me:
"I
'm st
il
lthi
nki
ngabouti
t"

Hi
sphoner
ang.
..

Hi
m:"
hel
l
o"
Chuma:
"ubuy
ani
nyOwe"
Hi
m:"
z'
vul
wani
nikant
iizkol
onaChuma"
Her
:"
uzobuy
axakuvulwaizkol
o?Hayfondi
nkudal
a
emnki
leumntanam makabuyengoku"
Hi
m:"
kay
"
Her
:"
kay
?Justl
i
ket
hat
"?
Hi
m:"
Chumapl
s,
Idon'
thav
etheener
gy"
Her:
"haha!Wena?Hayukut
yisi
l
ekel
omnt
anaunay
e
kel
egem"
Hi
m:"
shar
p"

Hehungup.
..

Hi
m:"
souzot
yant
oni
"?
Me:"
I'
m nothungr
yy et
,l
ookyoudon'
thav
etobaby si
t
me.Goandhav efunwithyourf
ri
endsIj
ustneeded
aquietpl
acethat
'
sal l
"
Hi
m:"
Ican'
tl
eav
eyoual
one"
Me:
"youcan'
t,
ory
ouwon'
t"
Him:"ndcel
auyekelent
ouy enzay
ookay?I'
m her
e
becauseIwanttobeher enotbecauseofpi
tyor
guil
toranythi
ngelse"
Me:
"kay
"

Irest
edmyheadandwat chedchannelOplayi
ng
Zone-i
nkaBrendaFassie:vonehell
uvalegend.He
wentupwayothat
halaptopy akhewaphi
ndawabuy a
andgotbusywhil
esit
tingont hesamepositi
on.
Sosocal
l
ed:
D

Me:
"bhey
ibhi
"
Hi
m:"
ungakul
i
ngeundi
bul
ali
sengendodakhokemna"

Yhoandaaay
ihl
eka:
v:v:
vndahl
ekandadendal
i
la

Hi
m:"
tshi
n,
youshoul
dbeashamed"
Me:
"f
tsekSoso"
Hi
m:"
you'
remor
eal
i
vet
hant
hel
astt
ime,
I
'm gl
ad"
Me:
"eweneh"
Hi
m:"
Ihopey
ouhadat
alkwi
thhi
m,Isawy
'al
ll
eav
ing
t
oget
her
"
Me:
"yeah,
somet
hingl
i
ket
hat
"
Hi
m:"
ohcummon,
doy
ouordi
dyounott
alkt
ohi
m"
Me:
"Idi
dbr
a"
Hi
m:"
thanky
ou"
Me:
"eshe,
yi
ntonwandi
gqagqani
sel
amt
chana"
Hi
m:"
Msebenzi
weGodf
atherkal
okl
owo"
Me:"
heee!Whosai
dyou'
remybaby
'sgodf
ather
Soso"
?
Hi
m: "
sisi
,
pls.I
'minnomoodf
orar
gument
s.By
e
by
e,ungekagezi
"

Hejusthunguponmendashi yekandi
j
ongele
phone,
Ijustl
aughed,t
hisni
qqacanbeareal
drama
queenattimes.Ntandowandi
jonga

Hi
m:"
Tit
us"
Me:
"yup"
Hi
m:"
he'
sagoodf
ri
end"
Me:
"yout
hink"
Hi
m:"Iknow,t
hewayyouli
ghtupwheny
ou'
rewi
th
hi
m ortal
kingtohi
m..
."
Me:
"wel
l
..
.he'
sli
ghtspi
ri
ted,
goodper
sont
obe
ar
ound"

Wat
hul
a..
.Idi
dn'
tmeanbay enaubabei
tsnotgood
t
obearoundhim:ol
ike.
..Mxm nev
ermi
nd.

WhenIgott i
redofwat chi
ngTVIl efthimthereand
wenttobed,Iremov edmyclothesandwor ePJ
pant
sanst oodinf r
ontofthemi rr
or:(Iwantedto
seesomething,aLilsomethi
ngnj ej
usttoknow
someonewasbr eathi
nginsi
demebutt herewasn'
t
anyt
hing.
..
myst omachwasasf latasani r
oning
boar
dbutIwaski ndagrowinginwidth.

Hewalkedi
nbutst
oodatt
hedoorwhi
l
eIsur
vey
ed
mysel
f

Hi
m:"
sti
l
lear
lyday
s"
Ismil
edandl
ookedathi
m..
.Hewalkedi
nandstood
behi
ndmelooki
ngatmethr
oughthemir
roraswell
.
Me:
"wi
shIcoul
djustseesomet
hing"
Him:
"youwi
ll
,
ify
ouconcent
rat
eony
our
sel
fmor
e
andst
ressl
ess"
Me:
"t
hiswor
disbegi
nni
ngt
obor
emenow"
Hi
m:"
tr
uth"

Iturnedandwor
emyPJt opandgotinbed,
he
foll
owedbutdi
dn'
tgetundert
hecovers.

Me:
"you'
reser
iousaboutnotgoi
ngt
oyourf
ri
ends"
Hi
m:"
ri
ghtnow,
you'
real
lIcant
hinkabout
"
Me:
"wi
shi
twasf
oral
lther
ightr
easonst
hough"
Hi
m:"
it
sforev
eryr
eason"

Icl
osedmyeyesgoingbackinmemoryofhowwe
usedtobej
ustaboutayearago.Imi
ssedhi
m,so
much..
.!
[
10/
9,19:
36]‪+27730692704‬:
#172

Icoul
dsmell
hismintybreat
handIknewhewanted
tosaysomet
hing.
..
butIkeptmyeyescl
osed,
i
twas
theonl
ywayIcoul
dseeushappy:(

Hi
m:"
youokay
"?
Me:
"cany
ouhugme"
Hi
m:"
sondel
a"

Imov edcl osertohi

m andwehugged, hissmel li
s
whatI '
vebeenl ongi
ngthemostokoebuy il
e..
.Iswear
Ineedt otakeoneofhi svestsorhoodies
xandigodukaj ustt
ofeelclosert
ohim.If el
tsome
tearstr
icklingdownmycheeksaswehel dthehug
veryti
ght,IswearIbrokedowni mmediatelywhenI
fel
thimt i
ght eni
ngthehug

Me:
"I
'm sosor
ry"
Hi
m:"
ssh"
Me:"I
'
vemi ssedy ousomuch..
.I'
m sor
ryf or
ev
erything.
..
IwishIcoul
dreversethetime,babeI
wouldifIcould,
justt
odotheri
ghtt hi
ng,sayther
ight
wordsbu- "
Hi
m:"
it
sokayIf
orgi
vey
ou,
plsj
ust
..
.don'
tcr
y"
Me:
"I-"

Ijustbr okedown...IswearIwasl etti

ngal l t
hepai n
out ,
myhear twast orni ntopi ecesandIwasf i
nall
y
admi tti
ngev entomy selfthatI '
m hurti
ng, thatI'
m
weak, thatI'
mf r
agileandt hatI'm humanf irstbefore
beingay oungwoman, I
'vebrokendownt heshi eld
thatIwasbui l
dingall thesey earsaf t
erIl ostmy
mom.Icoul dn'tpossibl ylooset heSmi thsas
wel l
,t
hatwasmyf ear,
bei ngmor eofanor phant hanI
alreadywas. ..
Ineverr eall
ywannar el
yonpeopl e
that'swhyi t
shar dtospeakout ,Il
iketot hinkI'm
strongenought ofaceany t
hingandev erythingli
keI
wasr aisedto.
Imovedoutofhisembraceandwipedmytear
s
awaythenbr
eathed..
.Fel
tli
kesomethi
ngwasli
ft
ed
offmyshoul
ders,
Ifel
tevenli
ght
er.

Me:
"t
hanky
ou"
Hi
m:"
youneedt
olear
ntol
etgo"
Me:
"may
bei
nduet
ime"

Ihuggedhi
m agai
n,
justf
orkont
rol
:v!

Hi
m:"
Icoul
ddowi
thaki
ss"
Me:
"no,
notnow"
Hi
m:"
huuuh"
?
Me:
"j
ustkeepmecl
ose.
..
ti
ll
Idozeof
f"

Hekissedthecrownofmyhead,Icl
osedmy
eyes.
..
hehman,whenwasthelastti
meIf el
tso
i
mpor t
antkuye?ANYWAY:)Idri
ftedoffndal
ala.
..
WhenIwokeupl at
eroni nt henighthewasn' t
around:/Iwasn'tsurprisedt hough.Iwashungr yke
ngokuandIknewex act l
ywhatt omakef ormy sel
f
andmybabybutwhenIwal keddownst air
shewas
therewit
hhi sfri
ends:onj ani nabethuna?Idi dn'
t
havetheener gytogreett hem shame, Ij
ustwal ked
pasttheloungeintotheki tchenandopenedt he
fri
dgelookingforboerewor s,Ifri
editwithtomat o
andonionandl ookedf orbr eadorrolls.
..
azikho:/
butIthoughtIsawt hem whenIcamet omakemy
sugarwater .
Iwal
kedt
othel
ounge.
..

Me:
"mol
wen"
Them:
"bossl
ady
"
Me:
"canIseey
ouasi
de"
Hi
m:"
ndi
yabuy
a"

Bav
uma,
hef
oll
owedmet
otheki
tchen.
..
Hi
m:"
ever
ythi
ngokay
"?
Me:
"It
hinkIsawbr
eadr
oll
sear
li
er"
Hi
m:"
oh,zi
tyi
wengalamaj
i
ta.
..
youhungr
y?Ibought
f
oodforyoualr
eady
"

Heopenedt
hemi
crowav
e..
..
theNando'
sfami
l
ymeal

Me:
"oh"
Hel
ookedbehi
ndme
Hi
m:"
youmadesausage"
?
Me:"
yeah,
thoughtbendi
zoy
ity
angesonka.
..
buti
ts
okay
"
Hi
m:"
Icangeti
tfory
ou"
Me:
"ha.
ait
sokay
,thanky
ou.Youcangonow"
Hi
m:"
uzot
yangoku"
?
Me:
"yeahI
'
llj
ustwar
mthef
ood"
Hi
m:"
okay
,I
'l
lj
oiny
ou.We'
l
lbedonei
naf
ew"
Me:
"I
'l
lbeupst
air
s"

Hekissedmyf oreheadandreturnedtohisfri
ends,I
warmedt hef oodandt ooki
tallupstai
rsndatya..
.I
wasn'tgonnawai tforumntuthatIdon'treal
lyknow
uzobuy ani
ni.Onmyt hi
rdpi
eceofmeat#hi des>_<
hewal kedi
nandj oi
nedmei nbedsat yasobabini

Me:
"t
hanky
ou"
Hi
m:"
hayhay
"
Me:
"f
orev
ery
thi
ng,
I
'm ser
iousbr
a"
Hi
m:"
bra"
?
Me:
"babe.
..
Ihat
efi
ght
ingwi
thy
ou"
Hi
m:"theonl
yti
meIenj
oyf
ight
ingi
swhenIf
ightf
or
abenefi
t"
Me:
"Isee"
Hi
m:"
Ineedy
out
opr
omi
semeonet
hingt
hough"
Me:
"any
thi
ng"
Him:"promiseyou'
llt
ell
mewhenI '
m notsati
sfy
ing
you,whenthingsaregett
ingt
oobigforyour
shoulder'
stocarryorwhenyoucan'
thandlethe
pregnancypressure"
Me:
"done"
Hi
m:"
thanky
ou"

Il
eanedfor
wardandpl
ant
edaki
ssonhi
sli
ps,
I
smil
edandret
ract
ed.

Hesmi l
edandl eanedforwar
dt ooankissedme,f
ir
st
verysl
owandt hent hepacepickedupbutnottoo
fastj
ustnjee.
..
li
ngeringi
nthemoment .Hestopped
andkissedmynose

Me:
"Il
ovey
ou"
Hi
m:"
Iknowt
hat
,buty
ou'
regi
vi
ngmeahar
dti
me"
Me:
"noI
'
m not
"
Hi
m:"
you'
renot
?Ar
eyousur
e"?
Me:"
haybabewenay ou'
reusedtot
helikesofyour
pr
eviousgi
rl
fr
iends.
..
Ican'
treal
l
ybeli
ket hem"
Hi
m:"whichiswhyIl
ovey
out
hemost
,you'
re
di
ff
erentfr
om them"
Me:
"butI
'
m gi
vi
ngy
ouahar
dti
me"
Him:
"it
snotever
ydaythatIgetchal
l
engedby
someoneIlov
eandtrust,
sobeingwithy
ouisa
chal
l
engeonitsown"
Me:
"huh"
?
Hi
m:"
Inev
erknowwhatt
oexpect
"
Me:
"butt
hat
'si
nthepastnowneh"
Hi
m:"
Ibel
i
eveso"
Me:"
good..
.nowI'
vedecidedI
'
m goi
ngtoCape
Town,onl
ybecauseImissmyparent
s"
Hi
m:"
Iful
l
ysuppor
tyourdeci
sion"
Me:
"but
"
Hi
m:"
butwhat
"?
Me:
"I
'l
lbel
eav
ingngomsondi
zobuy
angeweekend"
Hi
m:"
Icanor
gani
zet
hat
"
Me:
"t
hanky
ou"
Hi
m: "
butI
'
llst
aybehi
nd,
youneedt
imewi
thy
our
f
olks"
Me:
"okay
"

Aft
erwewer edoneeat
ing,
hetookt
hetraysdown
andret
urned,
Icuddl
edonhim andl
i
stenedtohis
hear
tbeat
..
.Il
ovedoi
ngthat.

-
-

Foll
owingmor ningIwokeupandwentt obath,he
wasstil
linbed,Ibathedandcameoutwr appedina
towelIsatdownachai rlooki
ngt
hedressingtabl
e
ancall
edMar c
Hi
m:"
Tri
na"
Me:
"I
'v
ethoughtabouty
ourof
fer
"
Hi
m:"
itst
il
lst
ands"
Me:
"Iwannagot
oday
"
Him:
"okay
..
..
okay
,getr
eadysol
ongI
'
llt
alkt
othebi
g
guy"
Me:
"okay
"

Ihungupandt ookoutadenim dungareeshort

,r
ed
Poloneckandr edsneaker
sndanxiba.Babewasstil
l
asl
eep...
uzothi
ni kal
okugadenenam ubsukuobu
akal
elanga.Hisphoner ang,
hetookithiseyesst
il
l
cl
osedwat hethawagqi baokoecimelethenhesat
upandl ookedatme

Hi
m:"
whendi
dyouwakeup"
Me:
"ear
li
ert
hany
ouobv
iousl
y"
Hi
m:"
bhut
'wakhouhambanawe"
Me:
"yeah"

Hegotupandwentt othebat
hroom..
.wabuyaIl
eft
hi
m esondl
ulaIwenttomakebreakf
astforus.
[
10/
9,19:
36]‪+27730692704‬:
#173

SoImadebreakfastandhejoi
nedme,weatewhil
e
makingsmall
conv er
sati
ont
henIcleanedupand
washedthepl
ateswhi l
ehewipedandpackedt
hem

Hi
m:"
youbet
terbebackny
hani
ngeweekend"
Me:
"why
"
Hi
m:"
Iwannaspendt
imewi
thy
ou,
proper
ly"
Me:
"t
henI
'
lldef
ini
tel
ycomeback"

Iwentupst
air
stof
etchmyt
hingsndabuy
a

Hi
m:"
nizodi
banaphi
"
Me:
"Idon'
tknowbutIt
hinkhe'
l
lcal
l
"
Hi
m:"
mmh"

Hemov
edandl
ayhi
sheadonmyl
aps

Hi
m:"y
ou'
resur
eyoucanhandl
egoi
ngov
ert
her
e
al
one"
?
Me:
"yesbabaI
'
m st
rongert
hany
out
hink"
Hi
m:"
you'
rest
rongwoman,
Iknow,
tr
ustme"
Me:
"wi
l
lyoumi
ssme"
Hi
m:"
ndbawel
auhambanawengoku"
Me:
"sambe"
Hi
m:"
ha.
ayouneedt
imewi
thy
ourf
olks"
Me:
"ndbuy
eleKul
i
zar
dkengok"
Hi
m:"
ngubanul
i
zar
d"
Me:
"mamakaMar
cusj
uni
or"
Hi
m:"
hai
bobabesugezel
aomny
umnt
ana"
:
v
Ut
shoehl
ekaphof:
v

Me:
"kut
shouEv
e"
Hi
m:"
doesy
ourf
ri
endsknowy
ou'
regoi
ng"
Me:
"whi
chf
ri
ends"
Hi
m:"
yournewf
ri
ends"
Me:
"Ihav
en'
ttol
dthem"
Hi
m:"
arey
oupl
anni
ngt
o"
Me:"
Sosodeser
vestoknowbutIthinkI
'
llt
ell
him
onceI'
vel
andedphayaandi
thukeke"
Hi
m:"
whyungamxel
eli
ngokuusel
apha"
Me:
"uSosobabe?Uzofunauhambanam andIwon'
t
dot
hat,
khangeazenam apha"
Him:
"mmh,andIdon'
tthi
nkI
'
dli
key
ougoi
ngwi
th
someoneelse"
Me:
"ukhwel
etai
snoty
ourcut
esti
mage
Hi
m:"
babey
azIwantt
oseey
ouget
ti
ngt
hickert
han
t
his,
kucacebay
ou'
reenj
oyi
ngy
ourpr
egnancy
"
Me:"
Idon'
twannagett
hicknj
e,
ndi
grandngoku
ndi
njenamna"
Hi
m:"
ha.
ababey
oumustgett
hick"
Me:
"I
'l
lgoonadi
etuzobona"
Hi
m: "
notonmywat ch,
Iwi
llstuf
ffooddowny
our
t
hroatifIhav
etobabyIdon'twannali
e"
Me:
"soI
'
m notgoodenough"
?
Him:"
you'
remorethangoodenoughsthandwasam
butnowthatyou'
repregnantwi
thmyson
makubekhoIdif
ference"
Me:
"hayandf
unubaf
atmnababe"
Hi
m:"
awzobaf
atuzobasexy
"
Me:
"i
tsnotusear
gui
ngwi
thy
ou"

Hechuckled,Iki
ssedhisl
ip.
..
wel
lthi
swasmor
e
r
elaxed,
mor ecomf or
tabl
e.
Mybrothercall
edandsaidwe'llmeetattheair
port
by11sot hatgavemeenought imetobondnobaby
daddyforawhile,
welaythereonthatcouchtalki
ng
aboutanythi
ngandev er
ythi
ng.
..Kuhl
ecal l
edbut
phoneyam bikuNtandowewer egoingthroughmy
pi
ctures

Hi
m:"
babe'
sphonehel
l
o"
Kuhl
e:"
hehhai
kengokbhut
i"
Hi
m:"
yint
onkwedi
n"
Kuhl
e:"
hayndi
cel
aumnt
uwephone"
Hi
m:"
thet
haf
ondi
nI'
l
lpassont
hemessage"
Kuhl
e:"
haybhut
i,
Iwantt
ospeakt
oTr
inapl
s"
Hi
m:"
cabai
nkul
ulent
ouzoy
thet
hamt
chanam"

Thenhehandedmet
hephone.
..

Me:
"hey
"
Hi
m:"
nit
handananangephonengok"
Me:
"he'
sjustbei
ngbossy
,what
'sup"
Hi
m:"
I'
mjustchecki
ngupony
ou"
Me:
"I
'm wel
lthanks"
Hi
m:"
yousur
e"
Me:
"yes"
Hi
m:"
okay
,that
'sgoodt
ohear
.Shar
pke"
Me:
"kuhl
e"
Hi
m:"
hi'
'
Me:
"t
hanky
ou"
Hi
m:"
andenzangant
onj
e"
Me:
"Iknow,
thanky
oust
il
l"
Hi
m:"
you'
rewel
comesi
si"

Thenwehungup.
..
wandi
jongauNt ando,
Ij
ustsmil
ed
andgav
ehim myphoneagqibezel
eleebeyenza:
v
Hi
m:"
nicl
ose"
Me:
"t
hey
'r
etheonl
yfr
iendsIhav
ebesi
desAmanda"
Hi
m:"
they
'r
ewi
l
d"
Me:
"Idon'
thav
etobewi
l
dtoo"
Hi
m:"
mmmkay
,i
fyousayso"

LoluNtandoi
sjustsomeoneel
se.
..
Iknowbet
ter
thant
oarguewithhi
m.

Wechi
l
ledkekubasi
zul
i
sel
anj
eixesha

Me:
"soy
ani
nikwadoct
or"
Hi
m:"
assoonasy
oucomeback"
Me:
"ar
en'
tyouner
vous"
Hi
m:"
nocozitssti
l
lear
lyday
s,t
heywon'
tev
ent
ell
us
t
hegenderasyet
"
Me:
"mmh"
Hi
m:"
you'
rener
vousIcant
ell
"
Me:
"wel
lI'
venev
erbeenpr
egnantbef
ore"
Him:"Iknow,that
'swhyIwantyoutoenj
oyt
hisfi
rst
pregnancyandIwi ll
makesurethaty
oudon'
tregret
fal
li
ngpr egnantforme,
notonebit
"
Me:
"butIdon'
tregr
eti
tev
ennow"
Hi
m:"
Ihav
en'
tspoi
l
edy
ouy
et"
Me:
"butI
'
vespoi
l
edmy
sel
f,
wit
hyourmoney
"
Hi
m:"
Iknowt
heshoesy
ouboughtf
ory
our
sel
f"
Me:
"Iknow"
Hi
m:"
butt
hatdoesn'
tcount
,Iwanty
out
ogett
ir
edof
me"
Me:
"Icanbet
ir
edofy
ouanymi
nut
eyay
azi
"
Hi
m:"
Iknow"
Me:
"butI
'
m exci
tedyouknow,
Iwannaseehergr
ow
i
nsi
deme,Iwannafeel
herki
ck"
Hi
m:"
Iwonderwhatwi
l
lsi
nosay
"
Me:
"ohumnt
anam.
..
heee"
Hi
m:"
nton"
Me:
"ungabi
fani
kekl
ent
ondi
zoy
thet
ha"
Hi
m:"
Ihav
eaf
eel
i
ngi
dibenenoAnel
i
sa"
Me:
"mxm subhor
akepl
s"
Hi
m:"
okayt
het
hababe"
Me:
"It
hinkIl
i
keher.
..
don'tworr
ywe'
renotf
ri
ends
wej
usthaveamutualint
erest
"
Hi
m:"
me"
?
Me:
"no,
Sino"
Hi
m:"
oohokay
,goon"
Me:
"she'
sgonnasendSi
no'
sdocument
sezesi
kol
o"
Hi
m:"
ooht
hat
'scl
everofher
"
Me:
"she'
sthi
nki
ngofherchi
l
d'seducat
ion"
Hi
m:"
Idon'
twanthernearmychi
l
dkekodwa"
Me:
"sheknowst
hat
"
Hi
m:"
good,
masambesoml
i
ndaphambi
l
iuMar
c"
Me:
"okaycel
aundi
thengel
eiFer
rer
oRocheezi
zi
y'
ei
ghtbabe"
Hi
m:"
IChoky
?That
'
snotheal
thy
"
Me:
"i
funwangunana"
Hi
m: "
she'
sgonnahav
easweett
oot
handIdon'
t
t
hinkIli
kethat
"
Me:
"pr
ett
ypl
ease"
Hi
m:"
okaymasambe"

Igotup,tooki handbagandheadedt othecar,he

tookmyl uggageandf ol
lowed,
droveust oSparand
weshoppedf orNana'ssweett oot
h^ _^from
yoghurts,
biscuits,
chocol
atesandal l
thosestuf ft
hen
hedrov etoChi ckenli
cken'wandit
hengelaur ockmy
soulsix:pasumphako, uMarcsay omlindaeFi sh
Away seatingseaf ood

Hi
m:"
theysayseaf
oodi
ncr
easesamaqandai
n
women"
Me:
"andchancesofcont
ract
ingpol
i
o"
Hi
m:"
yho.
.ha.
aweshoul
dst
opeat
ingt
hist
hing"
Me:
"Iwasj
ustsay
ing"
Him:"
butifi
tstr
ueweshouldstop,wecan'
ttake
chancesespeci
all
yiny
ourcondit
ion"

Lolhambaconditi
on,whenwewer edoneeat
ing,
we
headedtotheair
portsamlindaphauMarc.
..
wafika
thenIhuggedbae,hekissedmyl i
ps:
/Iwaskinda
uncomfort
ablecozmybr otherwasher
e.
[
10/
9,19:
37]‪+27730692704‬:
#174

WeboardedthejetandflewtotheCapei nsty
le:
D
ther
ewasnoconv ersati
onwhatsoever,
hewasbusy
onhisl
aptoptheentir
efli
ghtnam ndancamaand
hadachatnobaeonWhat sAppjustuhambisa
i
xesha

Me:
"baby
"
Hi
m:"
babe'
'
Me:
"wenzan"
Hi
m:"er
h..
.Onmawayt
ofet
chmybr
other
satLuke'
s
cr
ib"
Me:
"why
"
Hi
m:"
baf
ubaubuy
aabanamot
o"
Me:
"okay
,we'
l
ltal
kwheny
ou'
rehomeke"
Hi
m:"
wecant
alknow"
Me:
"t
ext
inganddr
ivi
ng?I
nJo'
bur
g"?
Hi
m:"
okay
,Igety
ourpoi
nt"

NdamyekaandlookedatEv
e'sl
astseen.
..
1mi
nut
e
agosoIbot
heredher

Me:
"Ev
ely
nSmi
th"
Her
:"
Tri
nal
i
queSmi
th"
Me:
"wher
ear
eyou"
Her
:"
I'
mint
heTr
anskei
"
Me:
"l
astt
imewespokey
ouwer
einJo'
bur
g"
Her:
"Il
eftl
astweekSat
urday
,t
hey
'vesl
aught
ereda
cow"
Me:
"yhoy
ou'
regoi
ngt
obef
at"
Her
:"
I'
m af
rai
d,
Ithi
nkI
'
m asi
zeup"
Me:
"hahaha,
youshoul
ddosomeshoppi
ngbef
ore
weopenv ar
sit
y"
Her:
"Ial
readydi
d,whenwewer
ecomingherebutI
wannaseemom manbef or
eIgotoJo'
burg'
'
Me:
"I
'm al
readyonmywayov
ert
her
e"
Her
:"
isKer
iwi
tchu"
Me:
"noI
'
m wi
thMar
c"
Her
:"
thatonehasbeeni
gnor
ingmycal
l
ssi
nce
Xmas"
Me:
"Iwonder
"
Her:
"Iwon'
tent
ertai
nhismadness,dadi
snotdead
yetandhesuddenlyt
hinkshe'
sthemanofthe
house"
Me:"buthe'
stheol
dest
,sur
elywehavetor
unsome
t
hingsthroughhi
m..
.ev
enint hef
utur
e"
Her
:"
notwhi
l
edadi
sst
il
lal
i
veTr
ina"
Me:"butbabewebot
hknowdadi
snotst
rong
enoughany mor
e"
Her
:"
ha.
aMar
cneedsar
eal
i
tycheck"
Me:
"I
'm notget
ti
ngi
nvol
ved"
Her
:"
howar
eyouany
way
"
Me:
"I
'm gr
eatman,
how'
sBooboo"
Her:
"he'
sgr
owi
ng,
he'
spl
ayi
ngout
sidewi
thot
her
ki
ds"
Me:
"Imi
sshi
m somuch"
Her:
"hemi
ssesy
out
oo,
buty
ouwi
l
lJuni
ormosi
n
CapeTown"
Me:
"hahahaohcr
ap,
I
'm notsay
ingany
thi
ng"
Her
:"
aunt
yTeeTee"

Me:
"Ihat
eyour
ightnow"
Her
:"
don'
tcal
lmet
ell
i
ngmehowbor
ingLi
zar
dis"

Ij
ustlaughed,
hayuEv
engomny
enj
eof
anano
Ntando

Her
:"
Ihav
etogomyl
ove,
we'
rebusye'
l
ali
ni"
Me:
"youmeanezi
l
ali
ni,
buty
ou'
ret
ryi
ng"
Her:
"youhavetoteachmethel
it
tl
ethatyou
know,thesepeopl
ecanconf
usemeI'mtell
i
ngy
ou"
Her
:"
you'
l
llear
nasy
ouspendmor
eti
mewi
tht
hem"
Her
:"
yeahwel
l
"
Me:
"by
e"
Her
:"
fornow"

..
.Ij
ustnappedunti
lwel
anded.Fi
rstthi
ng,
Marctook
met oseemom.Whenwear ri
vedthedoctorwas
sti
ll
busywithhersowewait
edoutsidethecl
osed
ward
Hi
m:"
youokay
"
Me:
"ner
vous"
Hi
m:"
she'
sawakedon'
twor
ry"
Me:
"r
eal
l
y"
Hi
m:"
yeah,
shewokeupaf
tert
hehear
ttr
anspl
ant
"
Me:
"whendi
dtheydoi
t"
Hi
m:"
twoweeksago"
..
.Ididn'tknowwhatt osay,
Mar cwasmaki ngall
thesedeci si
onswithouti
nformingus:/wasEv e
ri
ghtwhenshesai dhe'sacti
nglikedadtoofast?Oh-
kay,t
hedoct orcameoutandwewer epermit
tedt o
goin...Oneatat i
me.Mar csaidIshouldgoinfirst,
i
tookadeepbr eat
handpushedopent hedoor,I
walkedi nwithabravefaceandst oodnexttoher
bed

Her
:"
mybaby
"
Ohy
eahIsmi
l
ed,
sher
ecogni
zedmysmel
lev
en
befor
eshecoul
dopenhereyes.
..
Itouchedher
for
ehead,
shesmil
edandopenedhereyes

Her
:"
howar
eyou?Si
tdown"
Isatdown,
j
ongamyhear
twasj
umpi
ngupanddown
:D
Me:"
I'
m happyhowareyou?Whenarethey
di
schargi
ngyou?Whathappenedint
hefir
stplace?
Ar
etheyfeedingy
ouwell?I
sMar cvi
si
ti
ngy ouev-"
Her
:"
slowdown,
onequest
ionatat
ime"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ry"
Her
:"
it
sokay
,Iunder
stand"
Me:
"howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng"
Her
:"
bet
ter
"
Me:
"whenar
eyougoi
nghome"
?
Her:
"Idon'
tknow,t
heysai
dtheoper
ati
onwentwel
l
butt
heywantt okeepmeforobser
vat
ion"
Me:
"ar
eyoueat
ing"
Her
:"
thehospi
tal
foodi
snotast
ast
y"
Me:"
ifIknewIwoul
dhav
epr
epar
edsomet
hingf
or
you"
Her
:"
Lizzywasher
eyest
erdaywi
thmygr
andson"
Me:
"he'
sgr
own"
Her
:"
somuch,
hel
ooksl
i
key
ourf
ather
.Howi
she"
?
Me:
"Idon'
tknow,
Ihav
en'
tbeent
ohi
myet
"
Her
:"
buty
ouwi
l
lgoseehi
m"
Me:
"yes,
ri
ghtaf
terwel
eav
eher
e"
Her
:"
ooh,
howi
sLuke"
Me:
"he'
sgood,
pret
tygood"
Her:
"youl
ookbeaut
if
ul,
don'
tl
ooksad,
i
tdoesn'
tsui
t
you"
Me:
"mom"
!
Her
:"
I'
m ser
ious"
Me:
"Ij
ustwanty
out
ogetoutofher
e"
Her
:"
Iwi
l
linduet
ime"
Wehadourl ongconv er
sati
on,
fil
li
ngherinon
everyt
hingandthenmyt imewasup,Iwentoutand
gaveMar chischancetotal
kwithhismother
,bae
call
edjustasIwaswal ki
ngtothecar

Me:
"babyIhopey
ou'
renotdr
ivi
ng"
Hi
m:"
I'
m homel
ovi
e"
Me:
"oohwher
ear
emynewf
ri
ends"
Hi
m:"
downst
air
sabusi
ngmyPS3"
Me:
"hahabazohl
alanawef
orhowl
ongkengoku"
Him:"
I'
m chasi
ngthem awayonceyou'
reback,
i
ts
beenjustonehourbutmyfri
dgeishal
fful
l"
Me:
"boy
swi
l
lal
way
sbeboy
s,t
heyl
ovef
ood"
Him:"
that
'swhyyouj
oinedt
hear
my,
you'
reobv
iousl
y
carr
yingaboy"
Me:
"canwenotgot
her
e"
Hi
m:"
how'
syourmom"
Me:
"she'
sgood,
she'
sawake.
..
tal
ki
ng"
Hi
m:"
Icanher
einy
ourv
oice"
Me:"
I'
m sohappyr
ightnow,
Iwi
shdadi
sthesameas
hi
swifekeyaz"
Hi
m:"
keept
heposi
ti
veat
ti
tude"
Me:
"Ihav
enoot
herchoi
ce"
Hi
m:"
andwhat
evert
heout
comes,
knowt
hatI
'
m her
e"

IopenedMar
c'scarandsati
nthepassenger
s
seat.
..
whi
l
ewaiti
ngforhi
m

Me:
"ndi
yakut
handav
ha"
Hi
m:"ndiyayazi
lont
o,ev
enxaugezaIknowhow
muchy ouloveme"
Me:
"babeakagezi
umnt
uomt
handay
o"
Hi
m:"
ooh?Wenzan"
Me:
"uy
achal
l
engert
hat
'
sal
l
"
Hi
m:"
hehe!Uzond'
phat
hel
ant
oni
keekapa"
Me:
"uf
unant
oni
wena"
Hi
m:"
you"
Me:
"t
henI
'
llbr
ingy
oume"
Hi
m:"
I'
m ser
ious,
wehav
en'
tbeeni
nti
mat
eformor
e
t
hanamonthnow"
Me:
"so"
?
Hi
m:"
so?Ar
eyouf
orr
eal
"
Me:
"babewedon'tneedt
obei
nti
mat
etoknowour
l
oveforeachot
her"
Hi
m: "
butIwanttobeint
imatewi
thy
ou,
that
'st
he
t
hing,
Iwantto.
..
notneedto"
Me:
"mmh,
nowIunder
stand"
Him:
"sowil
lyougi
vemeatl
eastt
hatwheny
ou
comeback"
Me:
"Icandot
hatbutI
'
llneedy
ourhel
p"
Hi
m:"
how"
Me:
"whatl
i
nger
ieshoul
dIbuy
"
Hi
m:"
any
thi
ngl
ookssexyony
ou"
Me:
"heeehai
kengokbaby
"
Him:
"I
'm ser
ious,
youcoul
dlooksexyi
nar
aincoat
onl
y"
Me:
"cummonIneedsuggest
ionskal
ok"
Hi
m:"
babeany
thi
ngl
ooksgoodony
ou"
Me:"
okay,t
hanky ouIguess.ButIwanttoknowwhat
doesitf
oryou?Imean, shoul
dIlookfor
somethi
ng,redandsil
kymay be?Orblackandl
acy
"?
Hi
m:"
Ilov
elace"
Me:
"at
hong,
aboy
legorag-
str
ingt
yp'
athi
ng"
?
Hi
m:"
hayy
ou'
ret
ort
uri
ngmekengok"
Me:
"how?I!
meanwe'
rehel
pingeachot
herher
e"
Hi
m:"
whi
chev
ery
ou'
recomf
ort
abl
einbabe"
Me:"I
'
m comf
ort
ablei
nalloft
hem nant
sointo,
soI
wannaknowwhichonemakesuZ'khal
i,uJojo
aphakameamengeenyawo"
Hi
m:"
Ithi
nky
iboy
legkebabe"
Me:
"al
ri
ght
,I
'
llbr
ingy
ourl
acybl
ackl
i
nger
ieke
st
handwasam"
Hi
m:'
you'
reenj
oyi
ngt
his"
Me:"
whodoesn'
tenj
oytalki
ngaboutsexwithher
man?Cummonnow, i
tsnotli
keI
'm aski
ngy ouwhi
ch
posi
ti
onwi
llyoupr
efert
hemostt hatday"
Hi
m:"
heee!Hehbabe?Ut
yiswent
onkl
eKapa"
?

Iwasintearskuhl
eka:
v:v:
vthi
sguy
'si
nsani
tyhas
rubbedoffonmetooIswear

Me:
"babeandkat
yinot
yaaphakeokondf
iki
l
e"
Hi
m:"
ha.
ather
e'sapr
obl
em somehow"
Me:"
ther
e'snopr
oblem any
wher
ewe'
rej
usthav
inga
conv
ersati
onasadult
s"
Hi
m:"
hm"
Me:
"I
'l
lhav
etocal
lyouagai
n,
mybr
otheri
scomi
ng"
Hi
m:"
ohkay
"
Me:
"l
ovey
oudaddy
"
Hi
m:"
lov
eyoumomma"

Ihungupandli
stenedtomusi
c,
Mar
cusgoti
nand
drovet
owheredadi s.

Hi
m:"
mom want
sbeef
eddumpl
i
ngs"
Me:
"ohkay
"
Hi
m:"
andpancakeswi
thhoney
"
Me:
"when"
Hi
m:"
Ipr
omi
sedherwe'
l
lcomebackagai
n"
Me:
"ooh,
Ican'
treal
l
ymaket
hepancakes
Li
keher
s"
Hi
m:"
I'
m sur
eshe'
l
lappr
eci
atet
heef
for
t"
Me:
"yeah"

Hedrovef
aster:
ojongakeinauseaiveleidl
ale
i
ndimayayo.
..
whenwer eachedthatplaceIranand
askedf
orabathr
oom ndayolat
hiswaIwentt ov omi
t
outev ery t
hingIhadeat enbef oreIboar dedt he
plane, Icleanedmy selfupandwentt ofindhim
sahamba, wer eachedt her oom t henhesai dIshoul d
wal kinf i
rstnangokuIdi dasIwast oldbut
differenceher eist hatdaddywasn' tawake, hewas
j
ustl y i
ngt hereey escl osed,machi nes...
al otof
machi nespl uggedi nonhi m Iwant edt osayaf ew
thingsbutseei nghi ml ikethatjustmadems
emot i
onal Iendedupcr yi
ngi nsteadoft alki
ng.I
coul dn'tev enst ayt here15seconds: '(i
twasj usttoo
muchofapai nfulsi ghtIbargedoutandheadedt o
wher ethecari spar kedhai kendav ulaitanky am
yeny embezi andcr ied.Ididn'tknowt hisiswhathe
goingt hrough, Ithinkitwasr i
ghtwhenhesai dwe
shoul dn' tbebot her edngumamasi velesimy ekeaf e
i
npeacecozt hesemachi nesar oundhi m wer ej ust
toomuch.Sosocal ledndi sali
laaphokesoIki nda
hadt or ecollectmy selfanddr awsomesani t
yandbe
civil

Me:
"Soso"
Hi
m:"
hey
,ushar
p"
Me:
"shar
pwena"
Hi
m:"
moj
a..
.wer
eyoucr
ying"
Me:
"no"
Hi
m:"
Teecummonnow"

Ikeptqui
et,
tear
sthr
eat
eni
ngmyey
esonceagai
n..
.

Hi
m:"
uphi
keI
'
llcomet
oyou"
Me:
"I
'mi
n..
.CapeTown"
Hi
m:"
what
?Whendi
dyoul
eav
e"
Me:
"t
hismor
ning"
Hi
m:"
whatwast
her
ush"
Me:
"Iwant
edt
oseemyf
olks"
Hi
m: "
ooh,
yourmanjussai
dyout
rav
eled.
..
ist
he
si
tuat
iont
oobad"?
Me:
"mom'
sokay
..
.dad?Idon'
tknow"
Hi
m:"
youhav
etobest
rongkebabe"
Me:
"Iknow,
buti
tst
oomuchSoso"
Him:
"that
'swhyyouhadpeopl
eli
keLwandi
sot
hat
youcantalkt
okalok"
Me:
"Iappr
eci
atet
hatbr
a"
Hi
m:"
cal
lmeagai
nany
timekeneh"
Me:
"youknowIcandot
hatr
ight
"
Hi
m:"
Iknow,
Ij
ustr
emi
ndedy
ou"
Me:
"enkosi
vha"
Hi
m:"
thanky
ouma'
am.
..
MrsBoss-
Lady
"
Me:
"hahahay
aphambanakengok"
Hi
m:"
justwant
edt
oheary
ourl
augh,
shar
pman"
Me:
"shomf
etu"

Wehungup:
)atl
eastIhadasmi
l
e'ny
ananj
eey
abo.
[
10/
9,19:
38]‪+27730692704‬:
#175

Mar
cusr
etur
nedandweheadedhome,
Iwent
str
aightt
omyr oom andj
ustst
ayedi
nbedimini
yonkedepressedtothemaxndancedwal
ateronnj
e
Kufounakukabae

Me:
"l
ow"
Hi
m:"
you'
resl
eepi
ng"
Me:
"yes"
Hi
m:"
youokay
"
Me:
"I
'mf
ine"
Hi
m:"
babe"
Me:
"Iwannacomeback"
Hi
m:"
buti
tsnotev
enupt
oadayy
et,
what
'sgoi
ngon"
Me:"ha.aI
'
m goi
ngtodi
eofdepr
essi
onher
e,dad'
s
condit
ioniswor
senow"
Hi
m:"
hav
eyouseey
ourmot
her
"
Me:
"she'
sdoi
nggr
eat
"
Him:
"atl
eastspendadayort
wowi
thhert
heny
ou
cancomeback"
Me:
"hm"
Him:
"whydoIhav
eafeel
i
ngy
ouwon'
tev
enst
icki
t
outt
otheset
wodays"
Me:
"youdon'
tknowwhatIhav
etof
ace"
Hi
m:"
butIknowy
ou'
rest
rongert
hanwhat
everi
tis"
Me:
"mmh"
Hi
m:"
please"
Me:
"kaykal
ok"
Hi
m:"
promi
seme"
Me:"
arghIpr
omi
seI
'
llst
icki
toutt
oatl
eastt
woday
s
ke"
Hi
m:"
whatwassohar dnababe?Any
way
,tal
kto
me,
ufunandi
kubekel
entoni
"
Me:
"hayy
ou'
rest
il
lowi
ngmekal
ok"
Hi
m:"
owi
ngy
ouwhat
"
Me:
"gi
ft
sfr
om Ov
erseas"
Hi
m:"
oohzi
kul
i
ndi
l
eman,
kodwanawekeuy
and'
ower
"
Me:
"what
"?
Hi
m:"
thatt
hingy
ousai
dyoubought
"
Me:
"yhobabenday
li
bal
ayazl
awei
"
Hi
m:"
nday
funakeobuy
akwakho"
Me:
"nopr
o'm"
Hi
m:"
whenl
astdi
dyoueat
"?
Me:
"er
h..
.Idon'
tknow"
Hi
m:"
youdon'
tknow"
?
Me:
"I
'm nothungr
ykal
okt
hat
'swhy
"
Him:"
okaybutpl
sdon'
tst
arv
eyoursel
fkalok
Khwalo,
yay
aziIwanty
outobebooti
erthanyouar
e
ri
ghtnow"
Me:
"uobsessedbabey
ayazi
lont
o"
Him:"
youpour
edal
lyourl
ovepot
ionngal
ami
ni
kal
ok"
Me:"
esheee:
v:vhewet
huuzoy
ombonani
niuSi
no?
Ubuyenomnt
akaChuma"
Hi
m:"
nextweek,
andndi
zohambanawe"
Me:
"uy
adl
ala"
Him:"
andi
dlal
itu,
myki
dsmi
ssy
ouqhoxandi
founa
babuzauCc"
Me:
"hayandi
zoy
akokwenumnaf
ondi
n"
Hi
m:"sobona.
..
lookIwi
l
lcal
lyouagai
nbef
orey
ou
sl
eep"
Me:
"uy
aphi
ngoku"
Hi
m:"I
'
mt aki
ngtheseguy
stot
heai
rpor
t,di
dn'
tthey
t
ell
youbayahamba"
Me:
"no.
..
khawmendi
baf
ounel
e"
Hi
m:"
heh.
..
okay
"

Ihungupandcal
l
edKuhl
e..
.

Hi
m:"
heeyy
ou"
Me:"
heyme?Hewet
hu,
whenwer
ey'
al
lgonnat
ell
me
ni
yahamba"
Hi
m:"
heeebr
a"
Me:
"oohneh"
?
Hi
m:"
IthoughtSosot
oldy
ouear
li
erwhenhecal
l
ed"
Me:
"uphi
yena"
Hi
m:"
he'
sri
ghther
e..
.i
naf
ondi
n"
Me:
"Lwandi
so"
Hi
m:"
Boss-
Lady
"
Me:"
ooohchomiyoudeci
dednott
otel
lyourf
ri
end
you'
rel
eav
ingJozi
"
Hi
m: "
heeehf
ondi
n,
uyay
azba.
..
.Heeeakunzi
ma
Nkos'
yam"
:
v
Me:
"nt
onenzi
maSoso"
Hi
m:"
Iwant
edt
otel
lyouman,
i
tjustsl
i
pped"
Me:
"heee"
!

Hi
m:"
kal
oky
ouwer
ecr
ying,
remember
"?
Me:
"mmh,
you'
regoi
ngt
oEastLondon"
Him:
"I
'm goingtoCTbutv
iaEastLondon,
Ilef
tmost
ofmyclothesther
e"
Me:
"oKuhl
e"?
Hi
m:"It
hinkthey'
regoi
ngtoDurbs,ohdi
dIment
ion
si
kwezafli
ghtzakwakhozamahala"
:
v
Me:
"awonwabeman"
Hi
m:"
ndi
zokonwabai
nmyf
latwenay
ou'
l
lhear
"
Me:
"you'
rest
il
lnotmov
ingbackhome"
?
Him:
"notunt
ilLandi
l
edoessomet
hingngoOv
ayo,
I
can'
tst
andher "
Me:
"I
'm sor
ry.
..
hewet
huwhenl
astdi
dyouseeVel
a"
Hi
m:"
hahaha!Youdon'
tknow,
MkMkMk!HehTr
ina
amantombianezi
mangaI'
mtel
li
ngy
ou"
Me:
"what
'st
hat
"
Hi
m:"
ohmxm,
nev
ermi
nd"

Ihear
dsomeonet
alki
ngont
hebackgr
ound.
..Not
j
ustonev
oice,
butv
oices.
..
mal
evoi
ces.

Hi
m:"
yhobr
andodakhoi
yand'
qobi
sel
a"
Me:
"hahahasumhoy
a,t
het
haI
'
mli
steni
ng"
Hi
m:"kal
okIbumpedontoher.
..
Iwaswit
hyour
br
other.
..
kant
ibay
azanangal
ogroundwangezant
si"

Yhoanday
ihl
ekaNkos'
yam :
v:vandIwaski
ndagl
ad
heknows

Me:
"howdi
dyouf
indoutaboutt
hat
"
Hi
m:"uy
amazuma-Luki
ewhenhe'sdr
unk?Hm,
I
'm
wor
ri
ed.Real
l
ywor
riedmyf
riend"
Me:
"khawut
het
heSoso"
Hi
m:"
justhol
donasec.
..
-"
Bae:
"baby
"
Me:
"daddy
"
Hi
m:"
khawumy
ekengokuuSosowehav
esome
t
hingst
odobef
oret
heyboar
dthej
etbackhome"
Me:
"ha.
ababeSosocanmul
ti
task"
Him:
"Sosoisbeingdramati
cher
epeopl
ear
egi
vi
ng
usunnecessar
yattenti
on"
Me:
"oh-
hooo!Youknowy
ou'
reahat
err
ight
"?
Hi
m:"
he'
l
lcal
lyouwhenhe'
shome"
Me:"
butIl
oveyounonet
hel
essnowpl
easegi
veSoso
he'
sphoneback"
Hi
m:"
hayani
mamel
i
"

IknowSosocandrawunnecessar
yat
tent
ion:
v:v
l
ikeIhav
efi
rsthandexper
iencewi
tht
hatkal
ok!

Me:
"Soso"
Hi
m:"
heeeuboss-
manugr
eenwi
thenv
y"
Me:
"uzobet
hwawedwakesana"
Hi
m:"nday
aznobet
hwa,
l
ookI
'
llcal
lyouonceI
'
ve
l
anded"
Me:
"al
ri
ght
,y'
al
ltr
avel
saf
e"
Hi
m:"
thanky
oul
ove"

Aft
erthatndaphakamaandwentdown, bumping
ont
oLizzyandJuni orndat
hat
hanjeuJrandwentto
l
ookforfood,Marcwasbakingcupcakes^_^

Hi
m:"
hey
,you'
reawake"
Me:
"canIt
ast
e"
Hi
m:"
onl
yone"

Itookacupcakeandat
ewhil
ewar mingmyfood
thenIl
efthi
mt her
eandwenttoeatwit
hhi
sson.
Whenhewasdonehecamet ojoi
nus

Hi
m:"
howy
ouf
eel
i
ng"
Me:
"al
otbet
ter
"
Hi
m:"
him,
we'
regoi
ngt
omom agai
nfort
he
af
ter
noonv
isi
t"
Me:
"can'
tIgot
omor
row"
?
Hi
m:"wellIki
ndapr
omisedherwe'l
lcomeagai
n
l
ater
..
.andthaty
ou'
llmakeherpancakes"
Me:
"Icanmaket
hose.
..
Ijustdon'
tl
ikeseei
ngheri
n
t
hatstat
e"
Him:"
canyoutr
y,j
ustfortonight.
..
Itol
dthebi
gguy
we'l
lonl
ybeusi
nghi sjetfortodayandtomorr
ow
onl
y"
Me:
"meani
ngI
'
mret
urni
ngt
oCTt
omor
row"
?
Hi
m: "
yes.
..
I'
m goingawayonbusi
nessandIdon't
t
hinkIcanleaveyouherecozy
oumi ghtopenv
arsit
y
whil
eI'
m notaround"
Me:
"oooh"

Ntandouyand'
yekandi
thi
ndi
zobuy
angeweekend:
/
udeathimand'
hlal
enobayit
wodays.
..
MkMk.

Hi
m:"
soeatup,
wehav
eli
mit
edt
ime"
Me:
"yessi
r"

Iateup..
.wentt
othekit
chenandbakedmom some
pancakes.WhenIwasdoneIpackedthem intoa
l
unchboxt hendri
zzl
edhoneyonthem..
..
Liztookher
son,It
ookmyphonesandf ol
l
owedMar custot he
car.
[
10/
9,19:
39]‪+27730692704‬:
#176

Wedr ovetot hehospi t

alandsawmom, sahlala
sancokol anay eandat eaf ewofwhatwebaked, I
toldherIwasl eavingshet hankedmef or
remember i
ngherandobv iouslyaskedofEv e..
.t
old
herthet ruthwet hu,i
tsnosecr etbauyayakul o
Lwandoany more.Wheni twasherbedt i
meandt he
doctor ssaidweshoul dleaveher ,
welef
tny hani and
reachedhome, li
zardhadal r
eadypreparedsupper ,
we
ate..
.Ihelpedwasht hedishesandwentst raightto
bed.Ndal ala.Iwasemot ionall
ytir
ed.
Fol
l
owingdaypastelev
enorso,mybr
othertookme
tot
heair
portandIboardedt
hepl
aneal
one,Iwasn'
t
real
lyi
nagoodspacet obewithbaejusty
etbut
whenIlandedIwentstr
aightt
ohishouse,hewasn'
t
aroundsoIhadtocall
him

Hi
m:"
baby
"
Me:
"ur
ight
"
Hi
m:"
greaty
ou"
Me:
"I
'm good,
uphi
"
Hi
m:"
I'
minPr
etor
iawhy
"
Me:
"I
'm st
randed"
Hi
m:"
wher
e"
Me:
"i
nfr
ontofy
ourcr
ib"
Him:"
yhoer
h..
..Okay
,I
'l
lcal
lsomeonet
obr
ingy
oua
key"
Me:
"okay
..
."

Ihadnochoi
cebuttowait
..
Iwaitedandwaitedphof
I'
vegotaj
etl
agkuyoyonkelont
o: /af
teraf
ewmor e
wait
ingsIsawimotokaVinceparki
ngwohli
kawit
h
Spurtakeawaybagl
olsonguyelo"someone"ohI
should'
veknown

Hi
m:"
hey
"
Me:
"hi
"

Heunlockedt
hedoorandwal
kedi
n,
Ifol
l
owedr
ight
behi
ndhim

Hi
m:"
unj
ani
"
Me:
"I
'm goody
ou"
Hi
m:"
good,
uhm.
..Kut
hwaIshoul
dgi
vey
out
his"

Hegav
emet
hekey
sandt
hef
ood.
..

Me:
"enkosi
"
Hi
m:"
you'
rewel
come"
Iwal
kedtotheki
tchenandwar
medthefoodint
he
micr
owavendaphumandafi
kaesami
lengase
mnyango

Me:
"uhm,I
'
m sorryift
hiswil
lcomeoutt
hewr
ong
waybut
..
.wasthereanythi
ngelse"
Hi
m:"
Iwashopi
ngI
'
dreasonwi
thy
ou.
..
asaf
ri
end"
Me:
"we'
renomor
efr
iendsnj
ena"
Him:"
Iknowthosear
emywor dsbut
..
.Ienj
oyed
spendi
ngti
mewi t
hyou.Al
ot"
Me:
"Iwon'tdenythatbutthat
'
sallpassednow,you
mustre-
enjoyspendingti
mewi t
hy ourgi
rl
fr
iend"
Hi
m:"
thi
shasnot
hingt
odowi
thher
"
Me:
"butshe'
sthemai
nreasonwe'
renol
onger
f
ri
ends".
Him:
"we'
rebothadult
shere,
weknowt heboundari
es
andwe'l
lnev
ercrossthem.Canwejusttryt
obelike
thef
ir
stti
mewebumpedont oeachotheronthe
campuspar
kingl
ot"
?

NdakhendathulandamjongauVi ncendikhumbula
nobabusukundigqaqganisel
auNt andobaI'm not
gonnastopmyf ri
endshipwithVincekantikwalo
Vincentwebhongouzovelasethethaenyi
nto..
.whati
f
Ntandowast r
appinguswhenhesentVi ncethekey?
Me:
"I
'dl
ovet
hat
..
."
Hi
m:"
real
l
y"?
Me:"butnowIhavetospendmoreti
mewi thmy
man...
Imeany ouknowhedoesn'
tl
ivearoundsot
o
havehimi nJo'
bur
gf oraweeki
sablessi
ng,t
ohav
e
hi
m hereforawholemont hi
samiracl
e"
Hi
m:"Iunder
standbutuzohambakalokandIcan
r
esumet ohel
pingyouwithyourbooks.
..
any
time"
Me:
"youknowwhatIt
hink"
?
Hi
m:"
what
"
Me:"
Ithi
nkweshouldleav
et hi
ngsastheyare.
..
you
ar
emyboy f
ri
end'
sbrot
her,
I'
my ourbr
other
's
gi
rl
fr
iend.That
'si
t"
Hi
m:"
oh"
Me:"i
tsnotlikewe' r
eswor nenemiesorwhat,but
we'l
llearntober especti
veofeachot her
s
r
elati
onshipsandatt hesamet i
me,ourpart
ners
won'tfeelneglectedyabo"
Him:"
somybrot
heral
sofeel
snegl
ect
edwheny
ou'
re
spendi
ngt
imewithme"?
Me:
"no.
..
cozImaket
imef
orhi
m"
Him:"soy ou'
reref
erri
ngtoLibo.
..
Iuhm,Igetyou.
..
but
tel
lmet hetr
uth,
areyoureall
ysacri
fi
ci
ngour
fri
endshi pj
usttomakesomeot herpeoplehappy
andpl easedwiththemselv
es"?
Me:"
hahahai
boVince,
these'
other
'peopl
eyou'
re
r
efer
ringt
ongoban"?
Hi
m:"
webot
hknowt
heanswert
othat
"
Me:"mntakabhuti
..
.Iam notsacri
fici
nganyt
hingfor
anyone.Uyabonamnanobhut iwakho?We'revery
muchhappyandpl easedwi t
hour sel
vesri
ght
now..
butIfail
tothi
nkt hat
'sthecasebetweeny ou
andLibhongo"
Hi
m:"
that
'snott
hepoi
nt"
Me:"
Iheary
'al
lwer
ever
yhappybef
oreemer
ged,
so
khawphi
ndeuzameman"
Hi
m:"
Tri
napl
s..
.j
ustsayy
ou'
l
lthi
nkofi
tke"
Me:"Iwon'
tli
etoyou,cozIknowafteryouleav
ehere
Iwon'tt
hinkaboutanyofthisconv
ersati
on.Umntu
wam ndimgqibel
ekudalasowhenher eturnsthe
housemustbeahome, i
tmustbewar m"
Him:
"yhoheee.
..
usezoli
cingaeli
sukuyazbr
acozI
knowmybr ot
her,
he'
llshowy ouhistr
uecol
orsand
you'
l
lwishtohaveneverknownhi m"
Me:"okayy aziyinton.
..
Idon'tcarehowy oufeel.I
don'tcarewhaty ouwant .Buthelpmeher e..
.cela
undiphumemnt akadad,please,you'
rest ar
ti
ngt o
giv
emet hecr eepsnow, you'resoobsessi veov er
thi
sf r
iendshipngat hIowey ousomet hingandIdon't.
Celauhambe, thanksfort hekeys,t
hef oodthanky ou
verymuch.Nowpl sgo"
Hi
m:"
Tri
nacom-
"
Ndamjonga..
.hewal
kedout,Iclosedt
hedoorand
l
ockedit
,myfoodwasr eadybutIwantedtonapfi
rst
soIdr
ankt woPanadocapsul esandwentt
obed.

Threehoursl
at erIwaswokenupnguNt ando
ufunungenal
ol Ilockedadl eftt
hekeypha
ecangwenisohehadt ocallmendi vul
ef r
om the
i
nsideyhohaikeukuphakamaf r
om t hebed
yangunyakawonke. ..Ihat
edt othinkthatthr
oughout
thi
sninemont hsper iodIwill
hav eswollenfeet
:(thi
sisn'
thealthy..
..Iopenedthedoorandwal ked
tothekit
chen

Hi
m:"
bungandi
khumbul
ina"

Idi
dn'
tanswerhi m,Idranktwogl assesofwater
wenttositont hecouchndabukel aITV,hecameto
j
oinmeont hecouchmyf eetwereont hemat
phant
si.
.hekissedmyneckIj ustsmilednotgi
vi
ng
hi
m anymor eatt
enti
onot herthanthat.
Him:"youdidn'
ttel
lmeuyabuya.
..
butf
orf
utur
e
purposes,
takethatkey
.It
syours"
Me:
"enkosi
,
sowhatwasi
nPr
etor
ia"
Him:
"Iwentt
omeetupwi
thacl
i
ent
,di
dVi
ncebr
ing
youf
ood"?
Me:
"f
ood.
..
ohy
eah,
hedi
d.Thanky
ou"
Hi
m:"
haykut
henwat
handabuza"
Me:
"ha.
aay
ont
o"

Hegotupandwentt ot
heki t
chen.
..
camebackwi t
h
thefoodwakubekhainfrontofus,
Itookthef
irst
pieceIsawwahlalanay
ewat ya.
..
halfwayndi
si
t y
a
wandijongaandshookhishead

Hi
m:"
whydi
dn'
tyoueat
"
Me:
"It
hinkIf
orgoty
azbabe"
Hi
m:"
how'
sthatpossi
bleumnt
ual
i
bal
eukut
ya
kukhona"
Me:
"Iwant
edt
onapkuqal
a"
Hi
m:"
hm"

IwasluckyIdi
dn'
trecei
vel
alectur
eyotyebacozI'
m
car
ryi
nghischi
ldbl
ah-bl
ah-bl
aho.OnotthatImind
bei
nglookedaft
er:
vnotlendabayoba'
thick'
worri
es
meabi t
.
[
10/
9,19:
39]‪+27730692704‬:
#177

Whenwewer edoneIt ookthetraytot

hekit
chen:/
andaz
ivasaqha,Iwantedtocuddlenobaengokubut
i
twasst i
ll
earl
yf orbedti
me.

Me:
"khaw'
susei
ngal
olov
eIwannal
aymyhead"
Hi
m:"
layy
ourheadwher
e"
Me:
"ony
ourl
ap,
whyuzot
husakhona"
Hi
m:"
hayndi
zot
hini
ungot
huki
youusual
l
ywoul
d
pr
eferaf
ootr
ub"
Me:
"wel
lIwoul
dn'
tmi
ndi
tnangoku"
Hi
m:"
butkuqal
ayouwannal
ayy
ourhead"
Me:
"ukl
eva"
:
v
Hemovedhisarm,
Ilayonmybackfaci
ngupwar
ds
andsmi
ledatt
hishandsomeyetr
oughimage
l
ooki
nglovi
ngl
ybackatme.

Me:"Inev
err eal
l
ynot
icedt
haty
ouhav
esuch
beauti
full
ips"

Waskewathulekaemt
hiniy
int
sini:
vIwasbeing
honest:
)nyhanit
heywerecut
e...
beaut
if
ul.

Hi
m:"
baby
,awnaf
ever
"?
Me:
"sondel
ababe"
Hi
m:"
why
"
Me:
"j
ustbr
ingy
ourheaddown"

Hedi dandIkissedhim...
slowandtender
,Iki
ssed
thi
sguyf orthedaysIdidn'
tkisshi
m,fort
heweeksI
couldn'
tkisshim,heevenpull
edmeupIl andedon
hisl
apandwecont inued.Hepull
edbackIgota
chancetobr eat
h

Me:
"youoweme"
Hi
m:"
andy
ouoweme,
butI
'
m goi
ngbackt
oPr
etor
ia
i
nafewminut
es"
Me:
"agai
n"?
Him:
"yeahIwasn'
tdonekal
ok.
..
Ihadt
ocheckony
ou
andmyson"
Me:"unewast
elovewam cozyoucoul
dhav
ejust
call
edme,but
,Thatbei
ngsai
dIlov
eyouany
wayand
thankyou"
Hi
m:"knowi
ngy
ou,
buzobeusal
eleandmybaby
woul
dbehungr
y"
Me:
"hehhai
bobendi
zov
uka.
..
awzobal
atekhona"
Hi
m:"
I'
m out
taher
ein15mi
nut
es"
Me:
"canIasky
ousomet
hing"
Hi
m:"
uh-
huh"
Me:"
wer
eyouinabusi
nessmeet
ingngokunxi
be
ngat
huyakwi
meeti
ngnooRanger"
Him:
"ha!Ha!Babe,
mymeetingswit
hmyt eam ar
e
al
sobusiness.
..
answeri
ngy
ourquesti
on,y
esbutit
wasjustameetingwit
hacli
entngokuI'
m goi
ngtoa
boar
dmeet i
ng"

Ndamjonga. .
.damnhe'sseri
ous.Ij
ustshookmy
head.
..
allblack?Lookingl
ikeathugthathereal
l
yis
Kwibusinessmeet i
ng?Wai t
..
.Imeantto
say,
boardroom meeting.

Hi
m:"
babet
hatl
ook"
Me:"
babedon'
tyouknowkwi boardmeet
ingsy
ou
ki
ndahavetobefor
mal'
ishkancinci
"
Him:
"hayIdon'
tdoformal
..
.besi
des,
thesear
emy
busi
nessesIcanwearwhateverIwant"
Me:
"l
ovi
eman"
Him:
"babeIdon'
thav
eti
me,
I
'm goi
ngel
i
hlobo
ndi
nxi
bengalo"
Me:"
asubabywakhocanIpl
easesuggestoneor
twothi
ngs?Iwon'
tfor
cey
ouint
oanythi
ngy ou'
renot
comfor
tabl
ewith"
Hi
m:"
weonl
yhav
etenmi
nut
eskengok"

Iranupst ai
rsandopenedhiscloset
..
.i
tsnotawalk-
i
nl i
ket heoneinCapeTownbuti tsneatand
conv enient
.Hewalkedinndamjongafrom t
he
bottom upwards..
.Igavehi
mr edsneakerstowear
naloal lbl
ackwakhe

Me:
"babeyoudon'
tev
enownashi
rt
..
.l
ikeanor
mal
f
ormalshi
rt
?Heee"
Hi
m:"
they
'r
eint
hecape"
Me:"
okay,
it
scoldIunder
standbutI
'
mtaki
ngt
he
hoodi
e,
let
'srepl
acei
twit
ht hi
scoat
"
Hi
m:"
it
sst
il
lbl
ack"
Me:"
yesbuti
tsayyoumeanbusi
ness.
..
whatar
eyou
weari
ngunder
neat
h"?

Her emov edthehoodie,

hadabluevestonsoIgav e
him ablackPoloneckandal ongredscarf
..
.Black
j
eans,blackpolo,
blackankl
e-l
engthcoatal
ongwi t
h
redsneaker sandthatscar
fthenhetoppedital
loff
withleathergl
oves:vhayandinomncedali
gint
sa
nyhaniumnt anomntu.

Me:
"st
il
luncomf
ort
abl
ewi
thabi
tofcol
or"
?
Hi
m:"
honest
ly?No,
thanky
ou"
Me:
"whoooop!Whoooop"

Haha!Iconquer
edonet
hingf
ortheday
..
.hechecked
hi
stimeandpulledmef
orakiss,
onel
ong
breat
htaki
ngkissthenwest opped,
hesmi ledandr
an
downstair
swaphuma, Icol
l
ectedhiscl
ot hesand
fol
lowedhim cozIhadt ol
ockmy sel
finside.

Whenhewasgonendaphi ndandayokhangela
ukut
ya>_<khand'hl
uthebr
az!Iatendangqengqa
andwatchedarandom moviethatwasplayi
ngon
mnetndàfounel
wanguLwandi so.
..

Me:
"Lwandi
soTi
tus"
Hi
m:"
hayungakul
i
nge"
Me:
"awnguy
enah"
Hi
m: "
esheawsekhocoldnj
e,
uphi
kul
engqel
e
i
sibul
alay
okweliKapa"
Me:
"I
'mi
ndoor
sfondi
n"
Hi
m:"
mmh,
unj
ani
"
Me:
"I
'm gr
eatmyman,
unj
ani
wena"
Him:
"I'
m gr
eatman,Iforgott
ocal
lyoukey
az,
ndaske
ndaf
ikandaphazamiseka"
Me:
"Ihopeev
ery
thi
ngi
sokay
"
Him:
"don'
twor
ryy
our
selfabouti
t,
any
wayndi
thi
u
Asav
elaloway
enobr
otherwakho"
Me:
"howdi
dyouknowkal
ok"
Hi
m:"webumpedontoher.
..
shedi
dn'
tknowbaI'
m
ar
oundsoshetr
iedsof
teni
ngLuuwhil
eIorder
edour
meal
"
Me:
'
'meal
yakhonoLuu"
Him:
''
yeah.
..
sowhenIr et
urnedshewasseatingon
mychairndabuzakemnauf unaniaphawat
hikal
ok
ndamlahl
asoshef oundherselfaman"
Me:
"haha!Shef
oundLuu?Hol
yJesus"
Him:"
soIlookatLuuandbackatherthenI
'
m
l
ike.
.'
ohokay,l
emmefindanot
hertabl
eandleav
eyou
t
wol ovebi
rds"
Me:
"Lukewakuy
eka"
Him:"
kalokl
omntanaspokeinXhosasoLukeonly
underst
oodwhenIrespondedandheblur
tedoutba
they
'r
enotdati
ng"
Me:
"yhot
hati
shect
ic"
Him:"
longst
orymadeshor
t.
..
shestor
medoutaf
ter
sayi
ngacoupleofwor
dstobothofus"
Me:
"I
'm gl
ady
ousawherf
orwhoshei
s"
Hi
m:"
yeahwel
lbesendi
mov
e'eonkwakudal
amos"
Me:"ohChom y
am.
..
uhl
eli
nabankul
eweat
herIcr
uel
kangaka"
Hi
m:"
yhobr
a,I
'
m onmywayt
othemov
ies"
Me:
"al
one"
?
Hi
m:"
erh.
..
notr
eal
l
y"
Me:
"Soso"
Him:"
it
snot hi
ngseri
ousman..
.someoneImetpha
kwezalal
izakhobesi
kuzongoDecember"
Me:
"oooohshi
t!Lachi
ckbyt
hedamn"
?
Hi
m:"
hahay
oudon'
tfor
get
"
Me:
"duuude!
!!Whati
sshedoi
ngatt
heCape"
Hi
m:"i
tsherf
ir
styearatUCTsoshecameear
lyf
or
t
heregi
str
ati
onandorient
ati
onweek"
Me:
"mmmh.
..
"
Hi
m:"
it
sjustmov
ies"
Me:
"makesurey
ouwat
chmov
iesanddon'
tacty
our
ownmoviekepl
s"
Hi
m:"haymanbhey
ibhi
kuseear
lyf
ort
hat
,Idon'
t
wannascar
eherof
f"
Me:
"good"
Him:
"uphiumntuwakho,
may
behe'
sther
eason
you'
rei
ndoors"
Me:
"umnt
uwam?He'
soutt
her
emakemoney
"
Hi
m:"
you'
reki
ddi
ng"
Me:
"nope,
I
'm athiscr
ibwat
chi
ngalamemov
ieon
TVandndiyozel
akodwandsandov
uka"
Hi
m:"hehsi
si,
you'
reathi
scri
b?Hel ef
tyout
her
eand
wenttomakemoney ?Wait
..
.ImeantMOREMONEY"
me:
"yhof
ondi
n"
Hi
m:"
hayay
ikhol
ent
oay
enzay
o..
.ubuy
enonekapa"
Me:
"ndi
yaf
ikanamhl
anj
ent
wanay
am'
'
Hi
m:"
hayucol
ddi
ye"

:
v:vassoonasIregist
eredwhathej
ustsai
dIbir
at
i
ntol
aughtersl
ashtear
s...
hai
bo,
whotel
l
sherfr
iend
t
hatuyabanda?

Me:
"dudey
ouneedt
ocomeoutoft
hatcl
oset
"
Hi
m:"
zizt
abanekeezi
hlal
akwi
closet"
Me:
"sêandakut
hembamt
chanam"
Hi
m:"
tyhi
ni!Hayunedr
ama"

:
v:vdoI
?Soso.
..>_
<!!
!!
!
[
10/
9,19:
40]‪+27730692704‬:
#178

WhenIwastir
edy i
l
emov ieIwentt
othekitchenand
cooked,
Imadechickencurr
ysoupwithbakedbread
andwhenall
wasdoneIwentt obath,
Iworelong
pantandl
ongsleevedPJsnegown>_ <socksand
sli
pper sgqi bakwam nday oml indaont hecouch
drinkingcof feebutIwant edhotchocol at eand
i
bi ngekhokengokapha. .
.Icoul dn'treallycal lhim
sinceIdi dnotknowi phumawhatt imeImeet i
ng
yakhesouhadt osucki tupanddr inkt het hecof fee.
Igotupandwentt ot akehi slapt opnday ivul
aand
star t
edkwi i
mages. ..Iknewf ullywel lwhatIwas
doi ngandIknewhewasal soawar ecozt hiscrap
not if
ieshim ofev erything, everyf oldert hatisbei ng
openedsobesendi ngenaxhal aandIwascur ious: /
wonkumnt ual way st ell
smeIhav en'treal l
yseent he
real NtandosoIwant edtogetmay beacl ueofwhat
Ihadgot tenmy selfint o,
Isawi magest hatI '
veseen
bef ore..
.hi
ski ds,hismom, thet wins...
basi callyhis
fami lywasi nt hatf oldersoIscr oll
edt ot henextone
andsawt hegang. .
.y onke,nendi ngabazi y o.I
cont inuedopeni ngt hesef older sunt il
Ir eacheda
foldert hatwasl ocked. ..
wi t
hapasswor d: /thenhe
called: ondangcangcazel abutIhadnochoi cebutt o
pickup. ..

Me:
"l
ovi
e"
Hi
m:"
don'
topent
hatf
il
e"
Me:
"wel
li
tsl
ockedany
way
"
Hi
m:"
I'
m al
mostdoneher
e..
.whatshoul
dIbr
ingy
ou"
Me:
"hotchocol
atei
beni
nzi
fornakusasa"
Hi
m:"
shar
p"
Me:
"bef
orey
ougo"
Hi
m:"
yeah"
Me:
"canIuhm,
cont
inuev
iewi
ngt
heset
hingskul
e
l
apt
op"
Hi
m:"
younev
eraskedt
oev
ent
akei
t"
Me:
"Iknow"
Hi
m:"
cont
inue.
..
butuzi
yekeezi
lockedi
ifi
l
es"
Me:
"shar
p"

Icont
inuedkeandreadsomedocument s,
wellIcan
sayIl
earntal
otabouthi
m, hi
sli
festy
leandhis
busi
nessventur
e.Minusthegangstapart,
thi
sdude
i
sagoodguy ,hegi
vestocharit
ies,
oldage
homes, chi
ldr
en'shomesandev ensupportlocal
sportsclubsbackhome. .
.Kantizi
phiezit
ruecolor
s
thatI'
m supposedt osee?Maybetheselockedfil
es
carryreall
ysensit
ivei
nformat
ionthatcouldopenup
myey es...
maybet hat
'
swhyhehadt ocall
tomake
sureIdon'teventouchem.
Itwasn'
tlongbeforeIheardaknock. .
.Iopenedf
or
him andret
urnedtohislaptop,hewentt othe
kit
chenthenbackupstairswav asa.Iwenttowarm
thesoupandcutt hebreadt hehecamedownand
huggedmef rom behi
ndki ssingmyneck

Hi
m:"
Mrsme,
thi
ski
tchensmel
l
sdi
vi
ne"
Me:
"I
'm gl
ady
ouappr
ove"
Hi
m:"
whendi
dyoubake"
?
Me:
"af
tery
oul
eft
..
.pl
easehel
pcar
ryt
his"
Hi
m:"
whydon'
tweeatupst
air
s"?
Me:
"nopr
obl
em"
Wecarri
edourfoodupst
air
s,Imadehotchocf
orme
andcoff
eeforhi
mt henwegotinbedandstar
ted
eat
ing

Me:
"howdi
dthemeet
inggo"
Him:
"ver
ywell
.
..andt
hankst
omyst
yli
st,
Igot
compl
iment
s"
:
D
Me:
"ar
eyouf
orr
eal
"?
Him:"
khonaeli
nyeigezalaseZi
m heal
wayslaughs
atmychoiceofcolorsokoendi
ncomaebuzawho
chosethesecl
othesformenamhlanj
e"
Me:
"aaaand?Whatdi
dyout
ell
him"
Hi
m:"It
oldhi
m Ihav
eawi
fekal
ok"
Me:
"ohna,
whendi
dyougetmar
ri
ednabae"
Him:
"hai
kengokbabet
chi
n,
awf
uni
undi
tshat
amos
nawe"
Me:
"t
hatdoesn'
tmeanyoushouldcl
aim me
f
ondi
n,I
'
m sti
ll
onthemarketkal
ok"
Hi
m:"
babai
mnandi
lesoupy
akho"
Me:
"f
ananomnt
uoy
ipheki
l
eyo"
Hi
m:"
hai
keandi
zongqi
nai
ntoendi
ngay
azi
yomna"
Me:
"ouchbaby
"
Hi
m:"
whenl
astdidIt
ast
ethat
?Lasty
ear
?It
hinkI
l
ostt
het
ast
ekalok"
Me:
"heee!Hehbabe,
uthi
uSosoI
'
m col
d"
Hi
m:"
why
"
Me:"
cozy oul
eftmeher
eandwentt
owor
kkul
e
weather
"
Him:"
yaphambanauSosoy
ou'
renotcol
d,zumxel
ele
ndi
tshi
lo"

:
vweat efi
nishandputt hetr
ay sasi
dethenIwentto
thebat
hroom,xandi
buyat hebedwasf il
ledwit
h
shoppi
ngbagsandIj ustmeltedandsmi l
edcozI
knewzezawaybendi zi
thengelweoverseas
Me:
"wehav
eani
n-houseauct
ionnababe"
?
Hi
m:"
I'
m pay
ingmydebtkal
ok"
Me:"mmmh,I'
mthel
uckyl
adynamhl
anj
emos
ungatshonj
e"
Hi
m: "
khul
ulaIgownkecozIhav
etoseehowsome
t
hingsfi
tonyou"

Ididn'tneedfurtherinstructi
ons,
Iremov edmygown
andt ookoutoneoft hehoodi esheboughtforthe
bothofus: DIwor emi ne,heworehis.
..
andwet ooka
pic:vhalfobviously.Itri
edonmostofev ery
thi
ng
andhegotal lthecor rectsizes,
whenwewer edoneI
gavehi m hi
sThugl i
feT- shi
rtandshowedhi m mine

Hi
m:"
mfazwegi
ntsawenzakanj
e"
Me:
"i
tfi
tsony
ousoper
fect
ly"
Him:
"whatmadey
oubuyt
his.
..
Imean,
Iappr
eci
atei
t
somuchbabe"
Me:
"wel
lIki
ndar
eal
i
zeIantchangewhoy
ouar
e
ov
erni
ght
,l
emmej
ustembr
acey
ouqha"
Hi
m:"
cozi
fyoucan'
tchanget
hem,
j
oint
hem"
Me:
"somet
hingl
i
ket
hat
"

Wer emovedtheteesandil
aymyheadonhi schest
aswecuddledandspokeaboutthissocal
l
edtri
pt o
EastLondonafunanam ndi
yekuy
onaye.
[
10/
9,19:
40]‪+27730692704‬:
#179

Me:
"youknowIl
ovey
ou,
ri
ght
"
Hi
m:"
100%"
Me:
"usur
e"?
Hi
m:"
I'
m cer
tai
n"

Ili
ft
edmyheadandki ssedhisdryl
ips,
Il
obele
way .
..
ndimthandany
hani qhaasi
nazici
koxasidi
bene
thatIcanadmi t
.Hepulledbackandsmiled,
brushi
ng
myhai rback
Hi
m:"
whatwast
hatf
or"
Me:
"t
hat
,wast
othanky
ouf
orput
ti
ngupwi
thme"
Hi
m:"
I'
ll
doi
tev
ery
day
"

Ikissedhi m agai
n,
thist i
meweki ssednonst op,he
unbut t
onedmyPJt opandr emov edit,
tossi
ngi t
aside.Myni ppleswer estandingtoattenti
onandmy
boobswer ekindapinkishbecauseoft heweat her
ke...
weki ssedagain,Ipull
edhisv estoffandt ossed
i
tasi deandr esumedbutt hi
st i
mehewentdownmy
necksl owlyandseduct ivel
ykissingandbi t
ing
maki ngmewannabegf orit
.Whenher eachedmy
chesthegav ehisfullundivi
dedat t
enti
ont oeach
breast..
.t
hisniqqamademesqui rm:obathong!

Helef
tmyboobsandwentt
omyst omach,
heki
ssed
ar
ounditandst
oppedt
henl
ookedupandsmil
edat
me
Hi
m:"
ther
e'sr
eal
l
ysomeonei
nher
e"
Me:
"doy
ouseeany
thi
ng"
Hi
m:"
you'
renotasf
latasbef
ore"

Hekissedmyst omachagai nandmov eddownwar ds

wherehejustr emov edmyPJbot t
omsandst art
ed
kissi
ngthet highdown, i
nsideandopenedt hem wi de
thenhekissedev enmoreinthedelicateplaces,I
wantedhimt oj ustgointhereanddoi t,
yaphol al
e
chapandj ustl ookedatmymound. .
.Icouldf eelhi
s
coldbreat
hr ightont hecrowofi tt
henIopenedmy
eyesandlookeddownathi m..
.hewassmi ling:/for
what?

Me:
"babecummon"
Him:
"what
'st
herush?Wehav
ethewhol
eni
ghtt
o
enj
oyeachot
her
"

Wit
hthatheki
ssedthetopofmypl
easurepal
ace
andcr
awledbackupall
thewayshoweri
ngmewi t
h
kissesunt ilher eachedmyl ipsandwedev oured
eachot herthatv er ysamemoment .Ipusheddown
hisPJpant saswewer eki ssing:(I'm notav ery
pat i
enthumanbei ngwet hu,hebi tmyl i
psand
giggledwhenIshr iekedt henhewentdownt hel ast
ti
me, openedal ldoor sandpeepedi n,hel ickedad
suckl edonal l corner s,thepl easur ebut tonwas
restless...
andhewasev engoi ngneari t.He
cont i
nueddoi nghi st hingandIont heot hersi dewas
fl
oat inginthisseaofpl easur e,
thisguywasgi vi
ng
medeepsuct i
ons, cabaut hindi f
unanezi zango
Decemberzandi phosay o. .
.whenhef inallyt ouched
thet ipofmycl it,
Ibur stout .Myr i
verstar tedf lowing
uncont r
oll
ablyIhadt obi t
emyl i
pssohar dt ost op
my sel ffr
om scr eami ngsol oudcozIwant edt obutI
knewt herewasmor ecomi ngcozt hatwasj usta
touch. ..
hemov edt het opofhi stonguer oundi n
circl
esandIst artedheav ingandj umpi ngcozIcoul d
feelmymuscl est ight ening.Igr abbedhi sheadad
pushedhi mi n...
andt hat '
swher eIlostmycool ,
I
couldn' thandlet hepr essur ehewasgi v ingmy
kingdom : v:vbekushushuepar l
ement emt ri
nity!!
Hedi dn'
tevenwaitformet ocalm downhej ust
kneltbetweenmyt highsanddirectedhi mselfinto
thepalaceandhewenti nsmoot hly.
..
thoughIhel d
mybr eaththi
nkingtherecoul
dbesomesor tofpain
somehowkebutt herewasn'tany .Uyay'shayake
l
obhut ii
ntoyakhe>_<het ookmet oapl aceof
neverbeenandhebr oughtmebackt owher ehet ook
mef rom andheheapednextt omebr eathl
ess...
I
wasst il
li
nmyownper f
ectworl
d, t
heonewej ust
createdforoursel
ves..
.i
twasev enmor eperfect
whileIclosedmyey es.
Ifel
thim comingbackupandwipingmedown
ther
e...
Iopenedmyey eswasmetwi t
hhishungry
star
e,Ipull
edhim downandwekissedagai
n,sl
ower
anddelicatet
hanbefore.

Hi
m:"
you'
recr
uel
"
Me:
"what
..
.hav
e..
.Idone"
?
Hi
m:"
you(
kiss)puni
shed(
kiss)mef
orawhol
e..
..
"
Thenweki ssedal
loveragai
n:vIknewthiswas
payback.
..
nobaakazotshokekubainguy
e

Me:
"awhol
ewhat
"?
Hi
m:"
mont
h"

LolIl
aughedathim andjustcuddl
edonhim,keeping
myheadbet weenhisneckandshouldercozhewas
onhisbackandmywhol ewei ghtwasonhim...
his
col
ognestil
lti
estheknotsinmyst omach.
[
10/
9,19:
41]‪+27730692704‬:
#180

Wekindadozedof
finthati
nti
mateski
n-t
o-ski
n
posi
ti
on.
..
unti
lwewerebothwokenupbyhi sphones
-_
-al
lri
ngi
ngatthesamet i
me

Me:
"hm.
mhhm.
mh"
Heextendedhi
shandandswi tchedeachone
off
..
.t
henoneofmyphonesr ang: oIstr
etchedmy
ownhandandtookt hephone,sawt hatnguKuhle
ndavel
andamnikacozIknewi t
sf orhi
m: /Kuhl
e
doesn'
tcall
memi dnight
..
.neverhad

Bae:
"hm"
?
Him:
"br
aweneedy ourhel
p,cany
oucal
lsomeonet
o
comepickusupeMlazi
"
Bae:
"ni
funant
oneml
azi
"
Hi
m:"
bhut
ipl
s"
Bae:
"got
oMar
yI'
l
ltel
lherni
yeza"
Hi
m:"
ul'
boni
l
eixesha"
Bae:
"kant
iuf
unandi
thi
ninaKuhl
e"
Hi
m:"
cal
lupsomeoneany
one.
..
we'
rest
randedokay
"
Bae:
"don'
tfuckenr
aisey
ourv
oiceatmekwedi
ni"
Hi
m:"
sor
rybr
a"
Bae:"
sund'qhel
akakubiwaki
ngmeupi
nthemi
ddl
e
ofthenighttotel
lmeru-"

Igrabbedthephone:
oIwasn'
tgonnaal
lowhimt
o
speakliket
hatnotev
eni
fit
swithhisbr
other

Me:
"kwenzekani
Kay
"
Hi
m: "
yhobr
a...
it
sal
ongst
orybutnowwe'
rel
eft
st
randedeMlazi
"
Me:
"okay
..
.canIcal
lyoubacki
nami
nut
e"
Hi
m:"
shar
p"

Ihungndaphakamaandsatupf
aci
ngNt
ando

Hi
m:"
what
"?
Me:
"umphoxel
ani
umnt
ana"
Hi
m:"
that
'sagr
ownassman"
Me:
"butst
il
l,
heneedsy
ourhel
p"
Hekeptquiet.
..
Iwait
ed,andwai
ted..
.hegotupand
tookanotherphoneandcall
edsomeoneIdi dn'
tev
en
carebangubankeasl ongashe'l
lbehelpi
nghis
brother
.Helookedatmewhi l
etal
kingonthephone..
.

Hi
m:"
indawni
lent
wana"
Me:
"l
emmecal
lhi
m,andi
mazi
"

Iqui
ckl
ycal
l
edKuhl
e..
.

Hi
m:"
Tee"
Me:
"wher
ey'
al
latexact
ly"
Hi
m:"Idon'
tknow..
.butwe'r
esomewher
eneara
gr
eenboardwrit
tenUml azi
"

Itol
dbaewaskewat
hiImusttel
lOoKuhletof
ind
thei
rwayt
othemainroad,
bazoy
okhangel
wasoI
passedonthemessageandhungupandgoti
n
bed..
.heswi
tchedof
fthel
ight
sandcametobed.
Iki
ssedhi
sli
ps

Me:
"t
hanky
ou"
Hi
m:"
masl
ale"

Okay .
..
thatwasclearinvi
tati
ont
hatIshouldshut
up,t
riedtoturnmybackonhi m:vheheldmyar m
andt ur
nedmet ofacehim,myli
psrestedonhis
chestandt hatwasenoughf orme..
.i
tdrewmef ast
tosleep,Iwaswarm. .
.I
'm sur
enoJuniorwashappy
feel
ingthisclosetodaddy .

Iwokeuppastt hreeorso...
IwassowetIst ar
ted
ki
ssinghim andher espondedasifhewasn't
asl
eep..
.thatmydear ,
wasjustabeginni
ngtoanother
coupleofmor eroundsofecstasyandpleasur
eand
i
ntimacy.Hemademef eelsospeci
alandand
neededev er
ytimehewoul dhoarsel
ysaymyname
whenhe'
srel
easi
ng..
.Icoul
dholdontothose
momentsfor
ever
,theywerejustt
oopreci
ous.

-
TWOMONTHSLATER-
*
Mar
ch*

Iwasst i
llmadl yi
nlov ewit
ht hisniqqa^ _^ohdidI
mentiont hatmybel lywasonl ystart
ingt oshownow
:D?Hehadl eftmosandr eturnedt otheCaper i
ght
aft
ermyr egist
rati
onweekcozhehadbusi nessesto
att
endt oandIunder st
ood,byv al
entineshewasn' t
eveninthecount rybuthemadei tworthwhileby
sendingmeadozenofr edr osesandt heywere
deli
veredatschool :*allt
heNECESSARYat t
entionI
wasr eceivi
ngwast oooverwhel ming,Iwasbl ushi
ng
thewhol eday .
Sothi
sweekhewasschedul edt
ocomebackf ora
weekinJo'
burgandhebookedadoctors
appoi
ntmentcozhewasbecominganxiousoverthe
baby'
sgender
.IhadnoclassanditwasTuesday,
so
whenhesaidhewasaroundIwokeandbat hedkuba
ndizoyakwakheandJozi weatherwasli
kekespri
ng
break...
all
lov
elyandbr i
ghtsoIjustworeafl
ared
mini yel
lowdresswithblacklaceattheback
mat cheditupwi t
hblackpumpsbutwhenIcame
outekhay ahewast hereonthef r
ontgatepl
ayi
ngla
j
azz: oo.OIwal keduptohim andlaughed

Me:
"why
"
Hi
m:"
Imi
ssedy
ou,
andIwant
edt
osur
pri
sey
ou"

Hecameoutandwehugged, hebentdownand
ki
ssedtheli
ttl
ebumpt henwal
kedmet ot
heot her
si
deofthecar,heopenedmydoorandIwalkedin
andsatdown.Hegoti nonhi
ssideanddr
ov ethe
caroutofLuke'spl
ace

Me:
"awt
yebe,
whenl
astdi
dyouhi
tthegy
m"
Hi
m:"
Idon'
tknow.
..
nawenj
euy
aty
eba"
Me:
"soze!I
mast
artj
oggi
ngv
erysoon"
Hi
m:"
awphi
l
anga"
Me:
"I
'm notev
engoi
ngt
ocl
asssi
yaphi
ngapha"
Hi
m:"
we'r
egoi
ngt
othedoct
or.
..
Iwannaseemyson
f
ondi
n"
Me:
"heeeokay
"

Whenwereachedt
hedoct
orsoff
icewewal
kedhand
i
nhandandsatonthewai
ti
ngli
ne.

Me:
"It
hinkIwoul
dn'
tmi
ndami
l
kshake"
Hi
m:"
you'
l
lgeti
tophumakwet
huapha"

Isul
ked..
.thedoctorcall
edusi nIsatonthebedand
Ntandodidallthetalki
ng:v:vIwasjustamoomoo
phakathikwabot henthedoctorransome
test
s..
.af
terthat,
heinstr
uctedmet oli
eonmy
back,
hesmear edl ageli
banday oonmyst omach
andthenwehear dmybabi esheart
Doc:"
that
'syourbabyr
ightov
ert
her
e..
.cany
ousee
theheadoverhere"
Hi
m:"
babel
ookatt
hear
ms"
Doc:
"doy
ouwannaknowt
hegender
"?
Hi
m:"
yesandhowf
arshei
s"
Doc:
"oh-
kay
..
..Here,
i
tsaboyandyou'
reiny
ourf
if
th
month,
meaning.
.t
here'
sahugepossi
bil
i
tyy
oudeli
ver
i
n-"
Hi
m:"
Jul
y"
Doc:
"orear
lyAugust
"

:
DIwasj usttoomuchi nthezoneIf orgottoev en
bli
nk.
..
seeingsuchal i
velyhumanbei nginsi
deme
growi
ngsogr aceful
l
y .
..Iwasn'tevenr esponding,
I
wasinaweshame.Nt andoandt hedoct orwere
keepi
ngtheirconver
sat i
onthenwhenwewer edone
heaskedforprint
outst hatwecant akehomeandhe
wasgiven.Wewenty opayt henhet ookmet o
Wimpyndiy ot
yaImilkshakey am
Hi
m:"
today
,you'
reget
ti
ngany
thi
ngy
oul
i
ke"
Me:
"r
eal
l
y"
Hi
m:"
I'
m ser
ious"
Me:
"what
'st
hebudget
"
Hi
m:"
li
mit
less"

Heee!Mkmkuncedakel
eubabysana,
hegotexact
ly
whathewant
ed.
..

Me:
"IwantaSamsungGal
axyt
ab10.
3inch"
Hi
m:"
wher
ecanwegeti
t"
?
Me:
"Mt
nshopsorGame"
Hi
m:"
ohkay
..
.we'
l
lgol
ookf
ori
t"
Me:"
mmh..
.Ial
sowantuhm.
..26i
nchMal
aysi
an
br
ownandblondweave"
Hi
m:"
ezanwel
ezet
wot
housandeach"
?
Me:
"yessi
r"
Hi
m:"
ohkay
,namet
heshop,
we'
l
lbet
her
e"

:
v:vIwasgonnaabuset
hisday
..
.Godknows!
[
10/
9,19:
41]‪+27730692704‬:
#181

Wet
henwentt
othemal
ltobuymyt
abl
et:
D

Hi
m:"
hayIt
hinkIwantonet
oo"
Me:
"uy
akopa"
Hi
m:"t
hist
hingi
sbeaut
if
ul.
..Andyou'
ret
heone
who'
sbeennaggi
ngmet oadapt"
Me:
"kal
okt
odayi
sMYmoment
,don'
thi
j
acki
tfondi
n"
Hi
m:"butbabe.
..
Ipr
omiseI'
l
lbuyonl
ythi
sthi
ngf
or
mysel
fthenyoucanbuyint
ozakho"
Me:
"kay
"
Hi
m:"
please"
Me:
"t
hengababe"
Lolhaykodwa:/t
chini!It
ookthi
sSamsungGalaxy
tabl
etandhetookani PhoneAppl
etabl
et,
samesize
qhathenwewenttol ookformyhair
..
.l
olwe
browsedandbrowsed

Hi
m:"
babybuty
ouhav
esomet
hingl
i
ket
his"
Me:
"buti
tsshor
tert
hanl
e"
Hi
m:"
whynott
akeadi
ff
erentname"
Me:
"Per
uvi
an"
?
Hi
m:"
Idon'
tknowhai
rkal
okbutI
'
mjustsuggest
ing"
Me:
"okayakhongxaki
"

ItookthreebundlesofPeruvi
anhairndavala
uml omowam : vthi
sniqqadoesn'
tunderstandt hat
l
ooki ngbeauti
fuli
scostly
.Uzobonaimihl
olaxa
eyobhatalaezi
nwele..
.Isawanotherpai
rofbl ack
hairwithbrowntipsandaddedthem :vndival
e
owam uml omot henwewentt opayheswi pedand
di
dn'tevenlookatt
henot
if
icat
iononhi
s
phone..
.saphuma

Hi
m:"
okay
,si
yaphi
"
Me:"er
h..
.Ihavecl
othes,
alotoft
hem soIt
hinkwe
shouldj
ustheadhome"
Him:"
intwomonthsit
'
llbewint
ersoIthi
nkit
swi
se
tobuysomestuffkwangokustopav
oidover
spendi
ngbythen"
Me:
"ooh,
may
bewecanbuyf
oruSi
no"
Hi
m:"
onl
yifi
zondi
khapha"
Me:
"heeekusekhol
ont
okanene"

Wandithigxezu:vndamhl eka.
..
ujamel aban?Tshin
thi
za!Wewentt obuyezi wint
erclothingforallof
excl
udingOwecozut at
akheut hiChumausual l
y
l
aybyesf orOweandsendst heslipthenNt andowill
goandt akeoutthelaybyesowe' llbewast i
ngifwe
buyforhimt oo,
inhi
spl aceweboughtshoes, scar
fs
andtwocoat sforumazal a.Ntandol oveshismom
somuch,
akafuni
novawhenitcomest
oher.
..
ofcoz
weboughtsomestuf
fforour
selv
esmost
lyyazezam.

Hi
m:"
youdon'
twannabuysomet
hingf
ory
ourson"
?
Me:
"no.
..
"
hi
m:"usur
e"?
me:"
tooear
ly,
we'
l
lonl
yst
artbuy
ingwhenwe'
re
sev
enmonths"

Hi
m:"
ooh.
..
soy
ou'
resat
isf
iedwi
tht
heset
hings"
?
Me:
"t
heset
hings"
?
Hi
m:"babe.
..
Isai
dther
eisnobudget
,we'
reexceedi
ng
al
ll
imit
stoday"

Ilookedathim...Akandazlomfana:vli
keher eall
y
doesn'tknowmeshame.Ismi l
edandstoodonmy
toesreachingupt okisshi
mr i
ghtther
eandt hen,he
wasshockedorr athersur
pri
sedbuthedidn'tpull
back..
.Iwasn'tgonnakisshimforlongthough: DI
wasj
ustsof
teni
nghi
m upf
ormynextbi
ggi
ft
sfor
t
heday.
..

Me:
"t
her
e'sacoupl
emor
ethi
ngsIf
orgot
"
Hi
m:"
ohkay
,masambesi
yekuzo"

Iwalkedoutoftheshopandwal
kedt
oourcar..
.:v
packedthoseshoppi
ngbagsint
hebackseat
sand
tur
nedndamj ongast
il
lsmil
i
ng

Hi
m:"
oh-
kay
"?
Me:
"Iwantacar
"
Hi
m:"
awhat
"?
Me:
"car
..
.Whi
ti
shsi
l
verJaguarXE20dPr
est
ige"
Hi
m:"
yho"
Me:"
wehavenobudgetr
emember
?Ther
e'snol
i
mit
kal
okbabe"
Hi
m:"
ify
ourf
ir
sti
sacar
..
.whatar
etheot
her'
coupl
e'
mor
ethi
ngsy
ouwannabuy
"
Me:"
that
snoti
mpor
tantr
ightnow.
..
am Iget
ti
ngmy
car
"?

Hel ookedatme,Ihadmyarmscrossedacrossmy
chestndiphol
eKusi smedull
amtchanam,
ubhut '
oblongataephephezel
elwangumoya.Lol
Nt ando
didn'tr
eal
lyexpectmetoaskthi
s..
.

Him:"
okay,
gimmeaweekt
olookf
ori
tthenI
'
llget
backtoyou"
Me:
"t
hanky
ou.
..
canweeat
?I'
m hungr
y"

Ndat shondihamba..
.i
fI'
m gonnabequeenf
orthe
day,l
etmest artqueeni
ngkwangokumahn>_ <he
fol
lowedandcaughtupwi thmesahambasayoty
a
sobabi ni
,weorderedandourfoodcamethr
ough
satya..
Me:"
I'
ll
beusingthecardur
ingandaf
tert
he
pr
egnancy
,ri
ght"
Hi
m:"
that
'scor
rect
"
Me:"
good,
nowIwantsomet
hingIcanusef
ormy
sel
f
af
terI
'v
egivenbi
rt
h"
Hi
m:"
what
'st
hat
"
Me:
"scoot
er"
Hi
m:"
usi
funani
nikengok"
Me:
"wel
libudgethasnol
i
mitnamhl
anj
emos"
Hi
m:"
you'
rewast
ingmymoneyqj
awenababe"
Me:
"buti
tswhatIwant
"
Hi
m:"okaylet
'sdot
his.
..
let
'
swaitt
il
lyougi
ve
bi
rt
h..
.I
'l
lbuyitf
ory
ou.Ipromi
se"
Me:
"okay
..
.nowIwanty
out
otakemet
otheshoot
ing
r
ange"

Hechokedonhi
sfood.
..Iuhm :
v:vl
aughed:
v:v
Hi
m:"
what
'sgot
teni
ntoy
ounababy
"
Me:
"awf
uni
wenandi
ye"
Hi
m:"
no,
Idon'
twantmywi
fecar
ryi
ngguns"
Me:"
sohowam Isupposedt
opr
otectmy
sel
fwhen
you'
renotar
ound"
Him:"
you'
reprotect
edandyouknowthat
,I
'
mjusta
phonecal
l awaybabeha,
ayou'
renotgoi
ngtot
he
shoot
ingrange"
Me:
"yhuuy
aty
haf
isababeshame"
Hi
m:"
I'
m pr
otect
ingy
ou"
Me:"
okayf
ine.
..
youkickedtwoofmysuggest
ionsso
f
ar.NowI'
m outofoptions"
Hi
m:"Ihav
en'treal
l
ykickedthem,I
'mjustpostponi
ng
t
hem fort
her i
ghtti
me...
meaning,
now,mey ouand
j
uni
orshouldgoandr est.I
tsbeenalovel
yday "

It
ouchedmyst
omachsmi
l
ing.
..
I'
m sol
ucky
.Ver
y
l
ucky.
..
Hi
m:"
let
sgohomebef
orey
oubecomebr
oody
"
Me:
"myf
eetar
eki
l
li
ngmemt
cha-
"

Hegav emeonehel l
uv alook:
vNt andowi llnever
reall
ygiveintounderstandmeNkos' yam :v:vhe
payst oomuchat t
entiont oev
erylit
tl
edet ail
especiall
yinref
erencet ohim.Wet ookour
takeaway sandheadedhome. ..whenwear ri
vedwe
slouchedandmassagedmyf ootont hecouch.Iwas
pamper edli
keaper sonofr oy
alty.
..

Hi
m:"
sof
ourmor
emont
hst
ogo.
..
"
Me:
"Iwi
shi
twer
ejustoneort
wo"
Hi
m:"
they
'l
lpassbysoqui
cky
ouwon'
tnot
ice"
Me:"ohI
'l
lnot
iceIpromise.
..
I'
m get
ti
ngfat
al
ready,
l
ookatmyf eetnow.Atleastt
hecrav
ings
st
oppedbesidesthechocolat
eofcoz"
Hi
m:"
andt
hemoodswi
ngs"
Me:
"andt
hemor
ningsi
ckness,
thatnev
eronl
y
happenedi
nthemor
ning"

Hesmil
ed.
..
atl
eastIgav
ehi
mt hatonechancet
o
bondwi
thhi
sunbornsonwethu.
[
10/
9,19:
42]‪+27730692704‬:
#182

Me:
'
'babe"
Hi
m:"
mh"
Me:
"Iwantahouse"
Hi
m:"
huh"
?
Me:
"ahol
i
dayhousei
nPE"
Hi
m:"at20whatareyougoingtodowit
hahouse?
Whatwill
youtel
lyourf
olks?Haybabe"
Me:"
I'
m gonnausei
twheneverIneedabr
eat
her
kal
ok,
myf ol
ksdon'
tneedt
oknowxakucaba"
Hi
m:"
lemmet
hinkabouti
t"
Me:
"okay
"
Hi
m:"
hav
eyoudeci
dedongoi
ngt
oEastLondonwi
th
me"
Me:
"di
dyour
egi
stersi
not
oagoodschool
"
Him:
"yeahandIhearshe'
sver
ymuchhappyqhaoko
endi
buzandizani
ni"
Me:
"Imi
ssher
"
Hi
m:"
lemmecal
lumakhul
uwakhe"

Bendi
zomnqandanehbutndazi
bamba.
..

Her
:"
hal
o"
Hi
m:"
makhul
u,
unj
ani
"
Her
:"
ndi
yaphi
l
a"
Hi
m:"
ee"
Her
:"nent
ombi i
yaphi
laaphaqhaoko
i
kubuza.
..
uyaphi
lanawe"
Him:"
ndiy
aphi
lamakhul
umahn,qhandisabambeki
l
e
ngumsebenzi
kodwandizozamaukuzanobakunge
weekend"
Her:
"undi
thengel
eii
zli
ppersKal
okndodakuzobanda
aphaubusikasebungena"
Hi
m:"
sendi
zi
thengi
l
egogo"
Her
:"
uyabonakendoda,
ndi
zozi
funanani
nikengok"
Hi
m:"
Lindakal
okmama.
..
uphi
uSi
no"
Her
:"
bambandi
mkhwaze"
-
Me:
"sup"
Hi
m:"
usay
okhwazauSi
no"
Me:
"nt
onkeut
hishemustwai
tfor
"
Hi
m:"
shewant
ssl
i
pper
s"
Me:
"oohshame"
-
Her
:"
daddy
"
Hi
m:"
pri
ncess,
howar
eyou"
Her
:"
I'
mfi
net
hanksandy
ou"
Hi
m:"
I'
m good.
..
whyushi
yaumakhul
ual
one"
Her
:"
Iwentt
opl
aykal
okdaddy
"
Hi
m:"butyouknowthet
imetogohome,
youcan'
t
pl
ayoutsi
dethist
imeSi
no"
Her
:"
butdaddykusemhl
ophe"
Hi
m:"
Sino"
Her
:"
hm"
Hi
m:"
Sinot
hando"
Her
:"t
ata"
Hi
m:"
whyar
eyoubackchat
ti
ngmenow"
?
-
cwaka-
Hi
m:"
ndi
yat
het
ha"
-
cwaka-

Hehandedmet
hephone

Me:
"baby
"
Her
:"
mamaaaaaaa,
Imi
ssy
ou.Uphi
?UseKapa"
?
Me:
"noI
'
minJo'
bur
g,howar
eyou"
Her
:"
I'
mfi
ne,
yhosi
si"
Me:
"hahahay
int
onmnt
anam"
Her
:"
thanky
ou"
Me:
"f
ornt
o"
Her
:"
theclot
hes,makhul
usai
dthengwenguwe
mpahlaf
orCrismesi"
Me:
"oohhay
wet
hu,
i
twasy
ourdadandy
ourot
her
mom"
Her
:"
utshoqhowenasi
si"
Me:
"i
tst
het
rut
hnj
ebabe,
howi
sschool
"
Her
:"
Ihav
enewf
ri
endssana"
Me:
"good,
uzphat
hekak'
hl
eandl
i
stent
ogogov
ha"
Her
:"
ewemama"
Me:
"andknowt
hatIl
ovey
ouokay
"
Her
:"
Ilov
eyout
oomama"
Me:
"goodni
ghtkel
ove"
Her
:"
goodni
ght
..
."

Igav
eNtandobackhi
sphone.
..
wathet
hano
mamakheforafewminut
esbefor
ehangi
ngup.

Hi
m:"
whatar
ewehav
ingf
orsupper
"
Me:"
Iwantwi
ngsonPer
iPer
isauce,
cur
ri
edr
iceand
t
hreesal
ads"
Hi
m:"
wher
ecanwegetal
loft
hat
''
Me:
"cel
aund'
phekel
e"
Hi
m:"
huh?Hay
iawv
akal
incam baby
"
Me:"
babetodayIaskandI
'
m gi
ven.
..
orhav
eyou
f
orgott
en"
?
Hi
m:"
thi
sisget
ti
ngt
omuchnow"
Me:"
all
I'
m aski
ngi
sfory
out
ocookmeameal
,
just
t
hisonce"
Hi
m:"
cany
ouhel
pmeatl
east
"
Me:
"j
uni
orwant
stor
est
"
:
v:vhelookedatmelikeam al
unati
c
sana.
..
wazincamaatsomepointandwentt
ocook:
D

Icoul
dsmel lthewings:pyhoumntuuyakwaz
uphekavha.Igotupf r
om thecouchandwenttot
he
ki
tchenndahlalaonthehighchai
rphalooki
ngand
watchi
ngwhathewasdoi ng

Me:
"canIt
ast
e"
Hi
m:"
onl
yify
ou'
l
lhel
pmewi
tht
hev
eggi
es"
Me:
"Idon'
tmi
nd"
Hi
m:"
usi
sthandwany
hani
wena"

Hegavemet wowi ngsandki ssedmeonthenose

br
idgethenputatrayofv egetabl
esi
nfr
ontofme
wabuyel
aezimbizenizakhe.Wecookedtoget
her.
..
Myphonerangandhepassedi
ton.
..
myhear
t
j
umpedforjoy

Me:
"Bhey
ibhi
wam"
Hi
m:"
Iwonderl
i
phi
irhamncwaNkos'
yam"

Icouldn'
thelpmysel
f.
..Sosohasthatabi
l
itytofi
nd
thatspotwithi
nmethatneedstobepoppedl i
kea
tenyearsoldpimpl
e:v:vhe'
stal
entedinthatar
ea
I'
mt el
li
ngyou.

Hi
m:"
Imi
ssy
ouf
ondi
n"
Me:
"hahaIknow"
Hi
m:"
arey
ougoi
nghomet
hisoneweekhol
i
day
"?
Me:
"nobutubabeuf
unandi
mkhapheay
ekokwabo"
Hi
m:"
yhi
nii
i
ntl
oni
"
Me:
"f
ort
hewhySoso"
Hi
m:"
you'
renotmar
ri
ed,
whyonear
thwoul
dyou
khaphathebeasthome?Unl essyouwanthimt o
beastandfeastonyou..
.butthenagai
n,
y ou'
ret
oo
coldforabeast,
Ihear
dtheylikethei
rpreywarm"

Iwasinsti
tchesandcr
yingatthesameti
me. .
.babe
wasjustgi
vingmetheeyeokocabaubudinway il
e
nt
oyam noSosowor seisi
phazamisasi
pheka.

Me:
"Iwi
l
lhangupony
ou"
Hi
m:"
youwoul
dn'
tdar
e"
Me:
"st
opspeaki
ngr
ubbi
shorIwi
l
l"

I
twashi
stur
ntol
aughkengok:
v

Hi
m:"
awsadi
kwedidIdist
urbMrandMr
sBeast
maki
nganot
herbabybeast"
?
Me:
"Sosozokuxel
aKubabey
az"
Hi
m:"
thatni
qqai
sfondofment
wanay
am,
I
'ml
i
ke
t
hel
atestGi
l
let
tebl
adephakuy
e"
Me:"
hayumnt
anam uzobanegodf
atherel
i
geza
st
ru'
bob"
Hi
m:"
hay
sukaImi
ssy
ou"
Me:"
Idon'
tmi
ssy
ou.
..Br
aIneedsomet
hingf
rom
you"
Him:
"f
irstyoudon'
tmi
ssme,
thenyouneed
somethingfr
om me?Ugr
andmotho"
Me:
"kegr
andman,
l
ookt
hisi
simpor
tant
"
Hi
m:"
okayI
'
m al
lear
s"
Me:
"cel
axauzay
okwel
i
cal
aund'
phat
hel
eigunqgul
e
t
encents"

Yhokwahlekanobabethi
sti
me:vSosothinkshe'
s
thebest
?Hedon'tknownomemt chanam :
'(hewas
i
nstit
cheskwayenalowokuhl
eka

Hi
m:"
yesusIt
houghtt
hiswassomet
hingr
eal
"
Me:
"i
tsr
eal
kum kal
ok"
Hi
m:"
yhuTr
inal
i
que,
uyakwazudl
alangomnt
usi
si"
Me:
"gav
eyouy
ourt
ast
eofy
ourownmedi
ci
ne"
Hi
m:"
nenzani
"?

Me:
"I
'm wat
chi
ngbaecooki
ng"
Hi
m:"
whi
chbaei
scooki
ngnaTee"
Me:
"wazomphi
ubaenawenasoso"
Hi
m: "
thebeastcancook?I
yhoheeehayy
ijackpot
mfazi
"
:
v
Me:
"uy
ayabona?I
'
m aqueenI
'
mtel
l
ingy
ou"
Hi
m:"
jongauy
iBoss-
Ladyf
orr
eal
,
khawy
eke"
Me:
"t
hanksf
ort
hecal
lfr
iend"
Hi
m:"
uyay
az"

Wehungupndamcedi
saubabewaphekawagqi
ba
anddi
shedupforbot
hofusandthenwet
ookour
foodt
othel
oungesatyel
apha.
[
10/
9,19:
42]‪+27730692704‬:
#183

Aftereati
ngourdinnerweheadedt othe
bedr oom.
..
it
sv er
yr aref
ormet osleepwi t
hout
takingabathandt hisdayIdidn'
tfeell
ikebathi
ngat
all
.Iundressedcompl et
elywhilehewentt oruna
bathandIst ar
tedbywear ingmyPJshor t
she
returnedwhil
eIwaswear i
ngthePJt op

Hi
m:"
you'
renotbat
hing"
Me:
"no"
Hi
m:"
butI
'
ver
any
ouabubbl
ebat
h"
Me:
"yhoha.
andonqena"
Him:
"thi
sisafi
rst
..
.wewentAWOLshoppingand
youcomplai
nedaboutyourf
eetnowyoudon'
t
wannabath?Doesthatmakesenset
oyou"
Me:
"per
fectsense.
..
ambov
asai
fuf
unauv
asababe"
Hecamebehi ndmeandki ssedmyneck,
l
ol
ntozot
handauthandwaIdi dn'
tnoti
cehewasli
fti
ng
thetopndot
hukexai zoqabelaabovet
hechestarea

Me:
"babymahn"
Hi
m:"
we'
l
lbat
htoget
her
"
Me:
"ndonqenany
hani
babe"
Hi
M:"
all
youhavetodoi
stowal
ktot
hebat
hroom,
I
'l
l
doev
eryt
hingel
se"

Heki ndlypushedmet ot heri

ghtdir
ecti
onndaf i
ka
ndakhukul aphaandwegoti nsi
dethe
bubbl es,
facingeachot hersancokol
aandweact ual
l
y
didn'tbathqhabesi yoncokolaemanziniashushu
andwhent hewatergotcol dwecameoutand
wr appedt owelsaroundourbodi esaswewal kedto
thebedr oom. .
.I
'
dbel yingifIsai
dwel ot
ioned,ha,
a
mnaIwant edtosleepsobadl y,
ImeanIhadt he
mostawesomey etti
ri
ngdayandIwasf ullka
mnandiubabeusiphekelethemostdel
ishmeal
so
al
lIcoulddowasj ustcuddl
eandfal
lawayi
ntomy
ownperfectNever
land.Ndasul
aandandworehisT-
shi
rtndangenasezingubeni

Hi
m:"
'babet
hat
'saCr
ocketandJonesT-
shi
rtnota
ni
ght
ie"
Me:
"so"
?
Hi
m:"
sizomoshakal
a"
Me:
"i
fyi
qual
i
tysomoshway
int
on"

Wathul
aandcametojoi
nmet heminutehisheadhi
t
thepi
ll
owsItur
nedmybackonhim butlaymyhead
onhisarmsandhej
ustcuddl
ednefrom behi
nd.

Midni
ghthegotacal
lfr
om Chuma-
_-t
hatchi
ckhas
nochi
ll

Hi
m:"
mh"
-
cwaka-
Hi
m:"
thet
haf
ondi
n"
Her
:"
hi.
..Ubusy
!Ineedsomel
i
ttl
ehel
ptor
hwana"
Hi
m:"
BanxeshanaChuma"
Her
:"
Idon'
tknow.
..
pastmi
dni
ghtIt
hink"
Hi
m:"
tchi
n,
haykhandy
ekendi
l
ale"
Her:
"pl
smanIfor
gotIhadanassi
gnment
submissi
ont
omorrownowI'
m ki
ndast
uck"

-
cwaka-

Itur
nedandf acedhim,br
eathi
nghisscentsent
goosebumpsal lovermybody..
.Idon'
tknowwhenI '
ll
evergetusedt ohowhesmel l
s,Ij
ustbecomeweak
andlunati
cov erhi
ml i
kethefi
rstti
meImethi m and
tr
adedtobeingi ndeni
alaboutmyf eel
ings.

Hi
m:"
yhowhydi
dyouhav
etocal
lel
'
xeshakengok"
Her:
"t
houghtI'
l
lmanagebutndi
yazi
bonaI
'
m
dr
owninghere"
Hi
m:"
haykodwanawemanChuma"

Iheardthename..
.Ndavul
aamehloandlookedat
him:ohecan'tbeser
ious,
thi
sti
me?Wi t
hhisex?I
t
didn'
tsoundli
keachil
drel
atedemergencyke
futhi
..
.hel
ookeddownandsawme
.
.
ndamj
ongast
il
l.
..
.
.

Hi
m:"
Iuhm,
hav
etogo"
Her:
"oh,
thoughtyou'
renotbusy
..
.okaycanIatl
east
mailyouthesetwopagesthenyou'l
lcheckont
hem
andresendthem tomepls"
Hi
m:"
okay
"
WhenhehungupIgotupandwentt ot
he
bat
hroom.
..Idon'
tl
ikeitatal
landI
'
m sur
eitwas
wri
tt
enall
ov ermyface.
[
10/
9,19:
43]‪+27730692704‬:
#184

Icamebackandgoti
nbed

Hi
m:"
babe"
Me:
"mh"
Hi
m:"
ther
e'snot
hingt
obeupsetabout
"
Me:
"kay
"
Hi
m:"
I'
m sor
ryi
fyouf
eel
off
endedi
nanyway
"
Me:"i
justwannaknowwhydoessheconti
nue
cal
l
ingy ouebusukucozi
tsnott
hef
ir
stti
meey anza
l
ento"
Him:"
sheonlycal
l
swhenheneedshel
pnj
ebabe
akahl
uphiasmuch"
Me:
"ooh"

Iclosedmyey esandcov eredmyheadIwant edt o

sleepmnt akabhut ithisChumawasn' tgonnaspoi l
mymoodnamhl anjeofal ldays,Ihav eabr ight
mor ni
ngt olookf orwar dt o.Hecamecl oseandwe
sleptthr
ought heni ght,wel lIdidbuthedi dn't.When
hewassur ethatI '
m asleephewentt ohiscomput er
deskandhel pedChumawi thherassi gnment ,when
hewasdonehecamet obedwal ala..
.Pastf ive
baphelaubut hongoIwokeupandwor eagownand
walkeddownst ai r
s: pIwaski ndahungr yforoi ly
foodsoImadeFr encht oastwi thscr ambl edeggs
andcof f
eenday ohlalael oungandat ya...Ihadapack
ofMar ybiscuitsnextt omet olev elupogqi bakwam
okukutya:v.HowIwi shIcamewi t
hmyownl apt
op
herecoznowIwant edr ushmyownsecondt erm
assignment ssi nceIhadsubmi ttedt heonesoft he
fi
rstterm al
ready .Itextedandchat tedwi thpeopl e
whower eonline. .
.notmanyt hough, j
ustcl assmat es
andAmanda' scousi ns.Byt hetimehewokeupI
washal fwayt hrought hebi scuitsanddonewi ththe
f
oodndabesendi
dlal
aIgameonmyphone

Hi
m:"
goodmor
ning"

Heki
ssedmycheek

Me:
"mor
ning,
foodi
sint
heov
en"

Hewentt
ot hekit
chenwabuyawit
hhis
br
eakf
ast
..
.satnexttome.Iwat
chedTV

Hi
m:"
ushar
p"
Me:
"yeah"
Hi
m:"
aboutl
astni
ght
..
."
Me:"
babymyli
fedoesn'
trev
olv
earoundChuma,
we
don'
thavet
otal
kaboutsoearl
yinthemorni
ng"
Hi
m:"
sheneededhel
pwi
thanassi
gnment
"
Igotupnday obekaezi zintobendi tyel
akuzondabuy a
withor angej uicet ofinishof fthesebi scuitsndahlala
andwat chedal lthesoapi erepeat s.WhenIdone
watchingt hesoapi esIwentt obat h..
.Ineededt o
seemybr other:(Imi ssedhim somuchsoIgot
dressedi nay ell
owboobt ubekneel engthdr esswi t
h
whitest il
ls:/Ilovehi ghheel edshoesshameIcan' t
helpmy self.ThenIf ixedmyf aceandhai r,
hewal ked
i
nandsatont hebedwat chi
ngmendenzant ozam
ndagqi baandcal ledmybr other.
.Ir eal
lymi ssedmy
fami l
yman.Mar cwhot reatsmel ikehisfirst
born,Keri whot hinkswear enotsupposedt ogr
ow
sof ast,
Ev eourl unaticandLuket hewel l
-known
playaofal lt
ime: vIr eallymissedt hem andseei ng
Lukewoul dkindaf il
lthatv oidcoznay eubusysana
ufunumf aziakasenal onexeshal ethuany mor e:(well
hedoesbutwhenhe' ssobusyl i
kehei s,
itkinda
feel
sl i
kehedoesn' t.
..

Hi
m:"
Lil
sis"
Me:
"ar
eyoubyanysl
i
ghtchancehome"
Hi
m:"
hahahaI
'
vej
ustar
ri
ved,
why
"
Me:
"hayt
chi
ekmi
sjou"
Hi
m:"
ekmi
sjouook,
whenar
eyoucomi
ngback"
?
Me:
"I
'm notsur
eyet
,butwecandosomebr
unch"
Him:"
I'
m sur
eyou'
l
lbepay
ing,
Idon'
tmi
ndatal
l
sweety"

Nowwasmyownt ur
nt olaugh...Weagr eedtomeet
i
nanhourndaphakamanday omaphambi kobae
wrappedmyarmsaroundhi sbar eshouldersand
smil
edathisf
rust
rat
ion..
cozI '
m soov erthatChuma
i
ssueo.Othat
'sev
enbor i
ngnowt obehonest

Me:
"Idon'
tl
iket
hel
ookony
ourf
ace"
Hi
m:"
it
heni
"
Me:
"youl
ookf
rust
rat
edmanbabe"
Ikissedhi
sli
psandlookedhimintheey
es,
he
moi st
enedhi
sli
psendij
ongi
le.
..
hahahat
heint
imacy
though<3<3

Him:
"t
houghtuzogodukaophel
akwev
eki
or
somethi
ng"
Me:
"andwhatchangedy
ourt
hought
s"
Hi
m:"
yourcal
l
"
Me:"I
'
m onlyhavi
ngbr unchwithLuke.
..
Imisshim
thenI'
l
lcomebackandIneedmyl apt
opathomeI
havetocheckifIsentallmyassignmentsfort
he
semesterbef
oreclassesclose"
Him:
"ohkaybutyoucanchecky
onkel
ont
onakul
e
yam Il
aptopmos"
Me:"
everyt
imeItakeyourlapt
opI'
mtemptedtot
ry
andcrackt
hecodeandr eadorseewhat
sinsi
deso
l
et'
sjustl
eavei
tatthat
"
Hi
m:"
oh.
..
sowecanhav
edi
nnert
oget
herl
ateron"
Me:
"er
h..
.Awuy
indawo"
?
Hi
m:"
I'
ll
beinSowet
otheent
ir
edaybutI
'
llbeback
f
ordi
nner"
Me:
"OKmosdef
"

Hesmi l
ed..
.nott
hehappysmi l
ebutthat"
okay"
smil
e,Isentdownandkissedhim andhel
dthekiss
wit
ht hebothofusnotbreat
hingwhenhe
coul
dn't,
hesli
ghtl
yopenedhisli
psandwecontinued
ki
ssing.

Me:
"Il
ovey
ou"
Hi
m:"youjustmademyday
..
.nowIneedt
ogoseal
t
hatdeal"
Me:
"howmuch"
Hi
m:"
goodswor
th1.
5Mi
l
li
"
Me:
"goods"

Wandi
j
onga..
Iwant
edt
olaugh,
hej
ustchuckl
edand
bi
tmybott
om li
p
Hi
m:"
impor
tedpowder
"
Me:
"ooh.
..
don'
tst
ressy
our
sel
f,i
tsal
lyour
s"
Hi
m:"
Iknow,
you'
remymuse"

Wekissedonelastt
imethenwehel pedeachother
andcl
eanedup,iwor
eandapr onandwewentt o
cl
eandownstai
rsndaqoqoshanasel ounget
henhe
wenttoshowerkubaezondi
saet ownKuLuu.

Hecameoutdr essedinblackandgreyclams,
black
musclehugv neckT-shir
tandTi mberl
andswaphola
Kuhead..
.heeey ouhavenoi dea:Digrandl
e
chap,
l
awei fondinyho!

Hi
m:"
sambesi
si"
Me:"
yazhloboel
iumhl
engaloIwouldwannacancel
nal
obrunchandbeyourhandbagt
hewholeday"
Hi
m:"
youknowI
'
dlov
ethat
"
Me:
"but
..
.wehav
etogoneh"
?

:
vndaphakamaandgr abbedt hecarkey
s..
.Iwant
ed
todri
ve:DIopenedt
hecarandgoti n
ndamli
nda.
..
hecamet o"his"sideandopenedthe
doorwandi
jongawahl
eka

Hi
m:"
you'
renotdr
ivi
ng"
Me:
"andwhy
'st
hat
"
Hi
m:"
haybabesi
tont
heot
hersi
de,
I
'm dr
ivi
ng"
Me:
"ha.
ababeIt
ookt
hekeyf
ir
stkal
ok"
Him:"
babetodayI
'
m deali
ngwiththemostpowerful
crewJo'
burghaseverhadinmygenerat
ion.Thi
ngs
coul
dgetroughandrougedoutther
esoIcan'tr
isk
havi
ngyouinMYseat "

OkayIcoul
dn'
treall
yarguethat
..
.Ishif
tedand
mov edt
otheotherseat,
hegotinanddr ov
etothe
bank.Hegotoutwithaleat
herbrief
case.
Whil
ehewasgone, hehadlef
tt wophonesbehind
andonewasr i
ngingnonst
opt hatonthethir
dri
ngI
hadtotakei
tandseewhoi sthispersist
entper
son
onl
ytofindouti
kwanguloChumal ohIputi
tback
whereIgoti
tbutshedidn'
tstop..
..Myheadwas
aboutt
oblastyi
lentombi!

Me:
"Nt
ando'
sphonehi
"
Her
:"
hi,
uri
ght
"
Me:
"goody
ou"
Her
:"
great
,uphi
utat
akaOwent
ando"
Me:
"he'
sbusypl
scal
lhi
m af
ter45mi
nut
es"
Her:
"ohokay,
noakhoneedjustt
ell
him Iappr
eci
ate
hi
sassist
ancekul
aassignment"
Me:
"al
ri
ght
"
Her:
"ar
eyousur
eyou'
reokay
?Imean,
youdosound
of
fi
sh"
Me:
"I
'l
lmakesur
eheget
sthemessage,
hav
eagood
day
"

Ihungupandputthatphonewher eitwas,
textedmy
brot
hert
ofindoutwherewe'remeet i
ngthenndav al
a
umlomowam.Her etur
nedwi ththatsamebriefcase
,goti
nthecarandstar
teditsahamba

Him:
"Ihaveonemor
epl
acet
henI
'
llt
akey
out
oyour
dest
inat
ion"
Me:
"Chumacal
l
ed"

Wabhekawandi
j
onga,
thenl
ookedahead

Hi
m:"
uthi
ni"
Me:"
sheappreci
atesyourhel
pinher
assi
gnment,
saidIshoul
dpassonthemessage"
Hi
m:"
sur
e"
Aft
ert
hatsat
yaamacwakaunt
ilwer
eached
l
endawoebesi
yakuy
o..
.

Hi
m:"
come,
we'
l
ltakej
ustacoupl
eofmi
nut
esher
e"
Me:
"I
'dr
atherst
ayher
e"
Hi
m:"
please,
bazof
unaukbonaababant
u"
Me:
"khay
ekeman"

Hegotoutandwal kedinsi
dethismassiveJozi
house..
.wewer einthedriv
eway.Bendcaphukaman
:onjeekancinci.Yand'
qhelauNtandonoChuma
wakhe...St
ru'
bobbay and'
qhelacozifthi
swasmyex
eyenzalentohewoul dn'
tli
keit
.Iunderstandwhenit
concernsOwent andobuthismot her
?Like..
.hel
l
o??
??
[
10/
9,19:
43]‪+27730692704‬:
#185

Af
teracoupl
eofmi
nut
esemki
l
eIcal
l
edmybi
gbr
o
Hi
m:"
Hel
l
o"
Me:
"hel
l
o?Mmmh,
howar
eyou"
Hi
m:"
heey
,Idi
dn'
tev
encheckt
hecal
l
erI
D"
Me:
"meani
ngt
haty
ou'
rebusy
"
Hi
m:"
wel
lnotany
mor
e,what
'
sup?
"
Me:
"t
hesky
..
niqqaImi
ssy
ou"
Hi
m:"
I'
m comi
ngt
oJozi
nextweek"
Me:
"yhoIwon'
tbear
ound"
Hi
m:"
oh.
..
whenwi
l
lyoubeback"
Me:
"f
oll
owi
ngweek"
Hi
m:"
thenI'
ll
comet hatf
oll
owingweekcozIwas
al
somissi
ngy ouandEvel
yn"
Me:
"yhot
hatEv
ely
nhuman?Ihar
dlyev
enseeher
"
Hi
m:"
sheal
socal
l
edmey
est
erday
"
Me:
"how'
sLi
z"
Hi
m:"
Lizi
swor
kingatcor
rect
ional
ser
vices"
Ndamhleka.
..
.theseguy
sknowhowtodobusi ness.
He'sgothi
sbabymommawor ki
ngatCorr
ectional
Servi
cescozitwill
comehandyi
nthefut
ure.
..Weall
knowitwil
lcomehandy .
Sancokol
akenobhutit
henwehungupjustwhen
baeretur
nedwangenaemotweniasIwashangi
ng
up,
helookedatmesuspici
ousl
ybutdi
dn'
tsay
anyt
hingwavel
awancuma

Hi
m:"
Ihopey
oudi
dn'
tgett
oobor
ed"
Me:"unf
ort
unat
elynot
,I
'
m meet
ingLukeatSandt
on
square"
Hi
m:"
okay
"

Wedr ov
einsi
lence.
..
Iwaschatti
ngwithEveand
SosoonWhatsAppsoj umpcaseIwasgiggli
ngat
somepoint
sbuthedi dn'
tshowanysignyodi
kwa
unti
lmyphonerangagainandthist
imeitwas
Aneli
sa
Me:
"Nel
i
sa"
Wandi
j
onga.
..
Her
:"
hey
,ur
ight
"
Me:
"shar
pwena"
Her:
"I
'm cool
.
..Celaundt
hethel
enoNt
andobr
a
andbol
ekeusi noklev
ekii
zayo"
Me:
"yho"
Her:
"i
fakavumifort
hef ul
lweekthenIcan
compromisenobalusukukendibook'
ishei
nahot
el"
Me:
"I
'm notpr
omi
singany
thi
ng.
.butI
'
llt
rymybest
"
Her
:"
I'
ll
appr
eci
atei
tver
ymuch"
Me:
"okay
,I
'l
li
nfor
myouofanypr
ogr
esskev
ha"
Her
:"
alr
ightt
hankshey
"
Me:
"shar
p"

Wehungup...
whenwereachedmydest i
nat
ionI
coul
dseemybr ot
her
'scaratadi
stanceandmy
hear
tjumpedforj
oycozndayazI
'
llbespoil
trot
ten
namhl
anje.Weparkedandsati
nsi
lence.
..Akat
het
hi
mosbutthetensi
onfel
tli
kehewantedtosay
somet
hing

Me:
"oh-
kay
,Iguesst
hat
'smycue.
.t
hanksf
ort
her
ide"
Hi
m:"
..
.Bef
orey
ougo"
Me:
"mh"
Him:"
Ijustwantyoutounder
standt
hatther
e's
nothi
nggoingonbetweenChumaandI,sheneeded
hel
pandIwast here,
sheonl
yaskedmekubaey azi
ts
myexperti
se"
Me:
"sur
e,seey
oul
ater
"
Hi
m:"
Ilov
eyouokay
,onl
yyou"
Me:
"Iknow"

Iki
ssedhisl
ipsandlefthi
m...Idon'
tcar
etoknow
whyhehasasof tspotforuChumabuthedidand
sheknewthatverywellt
hat'
swhyshe'sli
kethi
s.
Uqhel
iswenguye.
Ileftwi
thmybr ot
herandhet ookmetothi
s
exquisi
tenewrestauranti
ntownhai
kewehadour
threecoursemealthenwhenwewer ehavi
ng
dessertIshowedhimt hesonar

Hi
m:"
wow.
..
thi
siscut
eman"
Me:
"t
ell
meabouti
t.
..
andi
tsaboy
"
Hi
m:"hemustbehappy
"
Me:
"ver
y"
Hi
m:"
sowhatdi
dhebuyy
ou"
?

Itookoutmynewtabandputi
tont
het
abl
e..
.t
he
excit
ementonhi
sface:
v

Hi
m:"Iexpect
edsomet hingbi
ggerbutthi
sis.
..
thi
sis
t
oogreatman, whenIplacedanordert
heysaidit
wasonlyli
mitededit
ion"
Me:
"i
tis.
..
wel
lIam expect
ingt
wobi
gthi
ngs"
Hi
m:"
acar
"?
Me:
"andahol
i
dayhouse"
Hi
m:"
you'
remi
l
kingt
heni
qqadr
yTee"
Me:
"buthesai
dther
e'snol
i
mit
"

Wahleka,
wespentthewhol edayt ogether:Dhav i
ng
funandplayi
ngaround,obviousl
yeatingal otof
sweetthi
ngs.Pastseven,Igotacallfrom bae..
.

Me:
"t
abeast
"
Hi
m:"
babyuzobuy
ani
ni"
Me:"
erh.
..
wej
ustcameoutofci
nemaI
'
m notr
eal
l
y
sur
e"
Hi
m:"
buty
oupr
omi
sed"
Me:
"ohdi
nner
?Er
h..
.OkaycanIcal
lyouback"
Hi
m:"
sur
e"
IhungupandaskedLuuwabeesi thiIshoul
djust
wait15moreminutescozhe'swaiti
ngforSive
they'
regoi
ngoutf
ordinner
..
.Ical
l
edl omfo

Hi
m:"
Mrs"
Me:
"youcancomef
etchmeaf
ter15mi
nut
es"
Hi
m:"
wher
e"
Me:
"I
'l
ltexty
out
headdr
ess"
Hi
m:"
okay
"

WhenSi vef i
nall
ycamet heylef
ttogetherandIsat
therewaiti
ngf orNt ando...Hedidn'
tcallbuthe
rockedup30mi nutesl at
er.Igoti
nthecarandwe
headedhomewel lIthoughtwewer eeatingoutbut
clearl
yIthoughtwr ong.Whenwer eachedt he
parkingspothet urnedof ft
heengineandhi this
headont hest eeringwheel ..
.Iwait
ed,Iknewt her
e
wassomet hi
ngupbutIwant edhimtosayi t.
..
Hi
m:"
Iuhm,
don'
tknowhowt
otel
lyout
his"
Me:
"what
"
Hi
m:"
Owei
sher
e"
Me:
"her
e?Whendi
dhear
ri
ve?Ohwai
t.
..
uzenabani
"?

Qui
et.
.
Mymi
ndr
aced.
..:
v

Me:
"babydon'
ttel
lmeChumai
sher
etoo"

Hissil
encesaiditall
...
Igotoutofthecarandwal ked
tothehouse,
Ididn'tknock.Iopenedt hedoorand
Owentandowaswat chingTVhej umpedandr ant o
meandwehugged.AsIwasaboutt osit
,Icouldhear
someonesingingint hekit
chen,mynoset witched
ngumsindowher ethehelldoesshegett hegut s?I
gotupandNt andowal kedinndamj ongaqui zzicall
y
Hi
m:"
awuzf
uni
flatshoes"
Me:
"whati
sshedoi
ngi
nthatki
tchen"
?

Shecameoutweari
ngMYapron,
hayit
sminekalokI
boughtit
..
.t
her
ewasnoapr
oninthi
shouse.Shewas
al
lsmiles:o

Her:
"ohhi.
..Ididn'
tknowy ouwerecoming.Ordoy ou
l
ivehere?Wor seIdidn'tcounty
ouinthedinnert
hat
I'
m prepar
ing,butI
'm surewecandosomet hing
aboutthat
"

Il
ookedatNt
andowi
thmyhandsonbot
hsi
desof
mywaist
..
.

Me:
"andt
his"
?
Hi
m:"
canwegoupst
air
s"
Her:
"hedidn'tt
ell
youI'
m comingneh?IhopeIdi
dn'
t
causeproblemsbetweeny'al
l
"
Me:
"canyoujustchi
llyourassof
fChumaandget
t
hehellout
tathatki
tchen"
Her
:"
heeehaywhi
tegi
rli
thenwandwe-
"
Me:
"don'
tyoudar
e..
.don'
tyoudar
e"

IwalkedinfrontofNtandoleadingthewaytothe
bedroom ndafikandamli
nda,Iremovedmyshoes
andwor esli
pperswangenaIj ustl
ookedathim whi
l
e
sti
l
lstanding

Him:"Chumai sgoi
ngtoMal
awingomsoandshe
di
dn'thaveumnt uwoshi
yauOweIoff
eredt
o
ushiyekanayeyabo,
souhm,
shecamehereonl
y
droppinghim of
f"
Me:"she'scookingdinnerf
ory'al
l
,wear
ingmy
apron,walki
ngandt alki
ngl
ikesheownst he
pl
ace...andyousaysheonl ycametodr opyourson
off
?Ndi t
henindimuncunababe"
Hi
m:"
no.
..
babel
ook-
"
Me:
"Yazni
yand'
qhel
axani
dibene"
?

Hel
ookedatme.
..
Ilookedathi
m.
[
10/
9,19:
45]‪+27730692704‬:
#186

Hi
m:"
I'
m sor
rybabe"
Me:"
unyanzel
way i
ntonbauxoke?You'
renot
sor
ry.
..
notatal
l"
Hi
m:"
I'
m notl
yi
ng,
Ithoughti
tst
hebestpl
an"
Me:"i
tis.
..
fory
out
ospendtheni
ghtwit
hyourexand
umntanawenubutforme?Ohwait
..
.WheredoIfi
t
kaneneapha"?
Him:"Iunderst
andy ou'
reupset,
myprior
it
yismy
son,shedoesn'tevencountbutbecauseiai
rpor
t
i
kifuphihereIthoughtherspendi
ngtimewithher
sonabeezobuy ainamont hsti
mewouldbebestfor
them"
Iwalkedtomybagandt ookoutmyPJsndahamba
ndayovasa.
..Ishoweredndaphumaesahl
eli
phau
Ntandondanxibaandt i
edmyhair,
cl
osedthe
windowsandev eryt
hing

Hi
m:"
babe"
Me:
"she'
snotsl
eepi
ngher
e"
Hi
m:"
it
squi
tel
atenow,
pleasebaby
"

Hegotupandwantedtot
ouchmeIt
ookast
ep
backandl
ookedathi
m bl
ankl
y

Me:"
wellyouknowwhat ?Ifshecan'tgoI
'
llgo.I
'
ll
l
eaveyouandy ourLilf
amilytohaveagoodand
per
fectaudi
tor
ium forFamilyBonds"
Him:"
Sibongil
ecany ouj ustber
easonablehere?I
'
m
notsayi
ngaccepti t
,IknowIwaswr ongfornot
tel
l
ingyoubef or
ehandbutnowt hey'r
ehereand
besi
des,i
tsjustacoupl eofhour
st henwe'l
lhavet
he
housebackt oourselves"
Me:
"r
easonabl
e?Heh"

Ist
art
edpacki
ng.
..

Me:
"t
oday
,youwi
l
lseehowr
easonabl
eIcanbe"

Hegrabbedmybagandl ookedatme.
..
wehearda
knockbutwedidn'tmove,i
tcameagai
nandI'm sur
e
i
twasOwej udgingbythesoundandweightofthe
knocki
ng.Af
tersomet i
mei tdi
edaway.
..

Me:
"cel
aibagy
am"
Hi
m:"
you'
renotgoi
ngany
wher
e"
Me:"Iwasn'taski
ngyou,
Iwastel
l
ingyouNtandot
hat
I
'm notsleepingi
nthesamehouseasyourEX
GIRLFRIENDoram Inotmakingsense"
?
Hi
m:"
don'
trai
sey
ourv
oiceatme"
Me:
"orwhat
?Huh?Whatwi
l
lyoudo?Beatmeup,
so
t
haty
oucaneasey
ourgui
l
t?Huh"
?
Him:"
canwej
ustt
alkl
i
keci
vi
li
zedpeopl
e?Mat
ure
peopl
e"
Me:"mntakabhut
i!!
!!Don'tt
ellmeaboutbei ng
ci
vil
,akhoci
vi
linthi
shouseatt hemoment ,andI've
gotenoughdigni
tyandsel f-
respectenoughf orthe
bothofustoanext entthatIwill
NEVERsl eepi nthe
samehouseasanyofy ourexes"
Hi
m:"
canIt
alknow"
Me:"
noNt
andoy
oucan'
ttal
k,
youhav
enogr
oundst
o
t
alk"
Hi
m:"
buty
ou'
renotbei
ngf
air
"

Ilefthim andwentdownst ai
rs..
.Owewasont he
couchwi t
hhismom, Iwentpassedandr eachedthe
kitchenndav ulaif
ridgeandt ookoutfruit,
Ineededa
fruitysmoothietocalm medown. .
.eversinceawhi t
e
per sonangry?Iwaspi nki
shor angeallov er
!Iwaited
formysmoot hi
e..
.Fourplatesweresetont he
count er
,cabakuzophakwaapha.Nt andocame
down,Chumacamet otheki t
chenImadeext raand
keptitinthefreezert
henwal kedoutwi t
hmy
smoot hieandwentt ositeloungendat hathai l
aptop
kaNtandoandpl uggedinmyf lashndasebenza. .
.He
wassi tt
ingont hecouchacr ossmi ne,
playingwi t
h
hisson.Hi sexdishedupf orall ofus,Ididn'teven
l
ookatt hef oodbatyabonkebagqi bathenChuma
wentt owasht heplates,
minest i
lluntouched.When
shecameback. ..

Hi
m:"
uhm,Ij
ustbookedy
ouatabnbdownt
ownt
hink
i
t'
l
lbebestt
hatway"
Her
:"
me?Oh.
..Di
dImi
sssomet
hing"
Hi
m:"
huh"
?
Her
:"
li
ke,
weagreedndizot
hil
alaaphaf orOwe'
ssake
t
henndimkeksasa.
..
whendiditallchange"
?
Him:
"canyougoandpacky
oubags,
they
'r
ecl
osi
ngi
n
anhour"

Shel
ookedatme.
..
Icoul
dfeel
herey
esbutIwasn'
t
gonnaent
ert
ainheratal
l
.

Her
:"
okay
"

Shewal
kedupst
air
swabuy
a..
.

Her
:"
I'
mready
"
Hi
m:"
sur
e"

Hecal
l
edacab.
..

Hi
m:"
li
ndaaf
ewmi
nut
es"
Her:
"hai
bo,
youthrowmeoutofy ourhousedespi
te
whatweagreedon,nowyoucall
meacab?What '
s
goi
ngonnaNt ando?Isi
tyourgi
rlf
ri
end"?

Weheardahooter
..
.Ntandowamjonga,
shecl
apped
onceandki
ssedhersonandlef
t.Ntandowentt
oput
Owei nthespar ebedr oom l
eibizolal
auChumat hen
hecameoutandwentupst ai
rst oourbedr oom,I
workedhal fthenightgqibakwam nday olal
ano
Owentando.Iwast ooupsettoev enlookNt andoin
theeye.
..uyandidelelangesiXhosaesi phandle
mos,str
u'bob.And' bonakal
imt r
inity,
i
sthunywasam
sil
ayi
teisinquntsusekhandlelaI '
mt ell
ingyou.

Foll
owi
ngmorningIwokeupandwenttobat
hpha
eroomi
nndaphumakanyexaevuka,
Idi
dn'
tut
tera
si
nglewor
d,Ij
ustsear
chedf
orcl
othest
owear

Hi
m:"
Ndcel
auxol
oS'
bongi
l
e"
Me:
"l
want
on"
Hi
m:"
uzi
sauChumaaphawi
thouty
ourconsent
"

It
urnedandl
ookedathi
m

Me:
"ubuci
ngant
on?Imean.
..Iwannaunder
stand"
Hi
m:"
sey
igqi
thi
l
engokucanwej
ustmov
eon"
Me:
"mov
eonhuh?Wow"
Hi
m:"
yint
onnah"
?

Il
efthim phanday ozenzel
aukutya.
..
sleepingona
smoot hi
e-f
il
ledstomachi snotheal
threlatedandi
s
notidealsoIjustmadecer ealonhotmi l
kndatyai
n
si
lence

:
vndi
cingananal
oSatanawenzekekulendl
ulast
ni
ght
..
.Ucinganj
ani
ubabenabet huna?
[
10/
9,19:
46]‪+27730692704‬:
#187

Hewal keddownasIwasaboutt ori

nsethebowl ,
he
tookmebyt hehandandpul l
edmet othecouch:v
ndavelandamhleka.
..AndIknewi ti
rr
it
atedhim but
haibo?Shoul
dn'thehavejustaskedmet ofoll
ow
himt othel
ounge?Mk.Any wanywesatdowni none
couch
Him:"
youknowIdon' tl
iketensionbet weenus,
I
admitt
edIwaswr ongandIapol ogi
zednowI '
m
doi
ngitagain,
ndcelauxolo.
..pl
ease,canwemov eon?
Okanyeketalk,
speakoutev eryt
hingbottledi
nsi
de
sothatwecancompl etel
yf orgi
veandmov eon
wit
houtgrudgeshangingbet weenus" ?
Me: "
youknowwhatget smet hemost ?Itoldy ouI
don'tli
kethesemi dni
ghtcal
ls,wamthethelel
a.Ikept
quiet,
thenyoubringherherewi t
houtinfor
mi ng
me. .
.l
ookIknowt hisi
snotmyhouse, butf orobv i
ous
reasonsIwi shyoucould'
vejustwarnedmey ou
know,beforehand"
Hi
m:"
that
'sami
stakeIwon'
tdoi
nthef
utur
e"
Me:"ontopofit,y
oulethercook?Forwho?Whoi n
thei
rri
ghtmi ndseatsomethingcookedbyawoman
they
'vehurt?Ireal
lydon'
tunderst
andy ourmotiv
es
butonethingisforsure.
..
youcan'thav
ey ourcake
andeatit"
Hi
m:"
okayndi
yakuvababe,
nowpleasel
et'
sthinkof
myunbor
nson..
.t
hisst
ressi
snotgoodforhim"
Me:"Iwonderwher
ed'y
ougettheaudesi
tytot
ell
me
aboutstr
essnotbei
nggoodkodwaikwanguwene
cause"

Wat
hicwaka.
..Owewal
keddownst
il
li
nPJs

Hi
m:"
mor
ning"
Us:
"mor
ning"

Ileftthem phaandwal kedupst airsndaf ika

ndakhangel apil
lszam anddr ankt hem, gqibakwam
ndahl alaphal ookingout si
det hewi ndow. .
.t
ears
streameddownmybl ushedcheeks, sothisispartof
whatt hesepeopl ewer etell
ingmeaboutNt andoand
Chuma?He' ll
alway shav easof tspotf or
her .
..
may beit
sbecozshegav ehi m anhei ror
becauset heybr okeupunderci rcumst ancesnot
becauset heydidn'tloveeachot herany more.If
that'sthecaset henI'm sti
l
lgoi ngt ocryal otinthi
s
relati
onshi pmoscozChumai sl ikeahomel ess
hungr
ybugandhe'
sent
ert
aini
nghernonsense.

HecameinandwalkedtowhereIwassit
ti
ng,
Ist
il
l
hadthepi
l
lsnextt
ome,hetr
iedtouchi
ngmeI
movedmyhand

Me:
"don'
t.
..
touchme"
Hi
m:"
babypl
ease"

Hisphonerang,
helookedatthescr
eenandcutthe
cal
l.
..I
trangagai
n,
hedi dthesamethi
ng.Hi
ssecond
phonerang,
thesamet hi
ng

Me:"webothknowy
ouwannaanswer
her
,sukwenzel
amnamphendul
e"
Hi
m:"
uthet
hangaban"
Me:"
bekhendat
shondat
hiundi
bonandi
muncu
wena"
Hi
m:"
that
'snotwhatImeantmanbaby
"

Hisphonewasr i
ngi
ngconstantl
y.
..Andi
twas
i
rrit
ati
ngndavel
andamjonga..
.hehadnoopt
ion
eit
hertoswit
chofft
hosefli
ppenphonesoranswer
them qhaqwaba

Hi
m:"
hel
l
o"
Her:
"I
'v
ebeentry
ingt
oreachy
ouf
ondi
nmyf
li
ght
hasbeencancel
ed"
Hi
m:"
why
"
Her:
"badweat
hercondi
ti
onssof
li
ght
scan'
tgo
t
hroughMalawi"
Hi
m:"
yho.
..
souzot
hini
"
Her:
"andi
yazkal
ok,
unlessy
ou'
rewil
li
ngtopayt
he
bnbuntil
we'r
enoti
fi
edofanychanges"

Mnandi
phakamekwaukubandi
qondebangu
Chumal
ondapaki
shai
impahl
azam ndaphol
aapha
ent
loko.
..
Idon'
thav
eener
gyf
ort
hishi
deandseek.

Hi
m:"
I'
minami
ddl
eofsomet
hingngoku"
Her
:"
okay
"

Hehungupwaphakamawezakum.
..

Hi
m:"
wenzankengokbabe"
Me:"
I'
m goinghome,whenyou'v
edecidedwhator
whoyouwanti nyourl
if
e,pl
easeletmeknowsothat
ndi
zozazibandimendawni"
Hi
m:"
nowt
hat
'
snonsense"
Me:
"youdon'
tknowt
hemeani
ngoft
hatwor
d"
Him:"
hehS'bongi
lemandi
ngacengani
naweoko
kal
oky i
ntonngok"
Me:
"uphazami
l
e..
."
Him:
"yazI
'
m gett
ingsofuckenfuckedupri
ghtnow
sopl
easekhawucingengengqondoley
akho.
..
I'
m
try
ingt obef aironeveryoneher eI'
mt r
y i
ngmybest
nottof uckupbuty '
all
areactinglikefuckenqueens
andpr incessescabanot hingelsemat tersbesi
des
ezipreciousf eeli
ngszenu,thi
sisnof airytal
eman
thi
sisr ealli
fe...
ther
eisnoper fectrel
ationshi
pint
he
reall
ife.Okay "?
Me:"f
ucky ouwit
hyourfuckedupf uckenlifeNtando!
You..
.youhavenorespect,
youhavenodi gnity
..
.You
don'
tknowwhatt hosewor dsmeanandy ouknow
what?Idon'tgi
veafuckwhet heryou'
retrynabef ai
r
orwhat ,
al
lIknowisthatIwon'tbedisr
espectedl i
ke
thi
s!Notbyy ouandcertai
nlynotbyyourbaby
momma"

Gqibakwam ndathathabagszam andwal keddown

thestai
rcase,passi
ngOweonmywayoutIt ookhi
s
carkeysandleftndayof
ikaepar
kinglot,
openedt he
carandpackedmybagsatt heback,hecameoutas
Igotinthedri
versseatandl
ockedmy selfinside

Hi
m:"
don'
tdot
his"
Me:
"t
houghty
ou'
regonnasaysomet
hingbet
ter
"

Ist
art
edt
hecaresameaphaecamkway
o..
.

Hi
m:"
izobuy
anabankengoki
mot
oyam"
Me:
"Idon'
tknowandqui
tef
rankl
yIdon'
tcar
e"
Hi
m:"
S'bongi
l
e"
Me: "
ifuy
ayi
funaimotoyakhogeti
nt hepassenger
seatuzobuyanayo,
othert
hanthatkhandyeke
ndigodukemntakabhuti
"

WakhwazauOwe, t
heygotinthecar
ndaphephethekaoguduka...Theangerwas
escalati
ngfastandpitybecauseIwaswiththem
ngeloxeshaumsindowam xandi qhubauvel
eubekwi
accelerat
orsandibonakwar obot
skexakunjal
o

Hi
m:"
slowdown"
Me:
"shutup"
Hi
m:"
S'bongi
l
e"
Me:
"yand'
ngxol
elaNt
ando"

Wathula..
.IdroveuntilIreachedhome, Idi
dn'teven
dri
veinIparkedatt hepar kingoutsidethe
house,
dr i
veway ,
gqi
bakwam ndohl i
kaandt ookmy
bagsndav ul
aIgat eyasekhay a.
..
Icoul
dher ehim
speaki
ngbutIcoul dn'tmakeoutt heexact
words..
.onceIwasi nsideIcl osedthegate...
hewas
sti
l
ltherelookingatme, Ilockeditandwal kedtothe
house..
..
.

OnceIreachedmyr oom..
.Ibr
okedown!
!!Icoul
dn'
t
cont
ainmy sel
f,
mywhol ebodywastr
emblingandI
washeatingupo.O
[
10/
9,19:
46]‪+27730692704‬:
#188

Icr
iedokay
..
.t
hemoreIthoughtabouti
t,
themoreI
gotangr
yandthemoreIcri
ed.Haibo,
Idon'
thav
e
anysortofvalueKuNtandondcamileseriousl
y.
WhenIwast i
redofcr
yingIchangedint
oPJsand
sl
ept,
Iswitchedoffmyphonesnalotabletyakhe
nakakade...

Af t
erfourhour sIwokeupwi that hrobbing
headacheIswi tchedonmyphonesandwentt othe
bathroom. ..Ir
eturnedandsawal otofmi ssedcall
s
from him- _-Ididn'
tevenbothermy selfwit
hcall
ing
him Ijustleftmyphonest hereandwal keddown. .
.I
couldher esomeonei nt
hekitchenbutwhenI
reachedt hereIscreamedofexci t
ementatwhatI
saw: D

Ker
i:
"heeeeysl
eepyhead"
Me:
"Ker
i.
..
Eve?Heeewhendi
dy'
al
lcomeback"
?
Ker
i:
"youl
ookl
i
key
ouneedahug"
Ev
e:"
grouphug"

Wehugged.
..
forami
nut
eIf
eltneeded,
l
oved
,appr
eci
atedandathome.
..
nowt
hisi
swhatIcal
la
home.

Me:
"sowhatar
ewecooki
ng"
?
Ker
i:
"we'
redonewe'
l
ljustdi
shup"
Me:
"Ineedcof
fee,
that
'
sal
l
"
Ev
e:"
Iwar
nedy
ouaboutcaf
fei
ne"
Me:"
okaykeher
bal
tea.
..
don'
twor
ryI
'
llmakei
t
myself
"

Imademyt eaandwentt ositint

helounge,Eve
fol
lowedwi t
hplatesthenKericamewitht hepots:)
cabangusel fservi
celowenziwaapha: vwedished
upgr i
l
ledfi
sh,prawnsandcalamariwit
hsourchi l
li
saucehaikesancokola.Iwantedtocatchupont heir
l
ives..
.whenwewer edone,Evecoll
ect
edt hedishes
andcamebackwi thatuboficecream andspoons
sotyel
aphasonke
Ker
i:
"sot
ell
me,
what
'
snewi
nyourl
i
fe"
Me:
"er
h..
.Ihav
eaGal
axyt
ab"
Ev
e:"
haha!Yourmani
sat
hugkal
ok"
Me:
"Don'
tgoghet
toonmeokay
"
:
v
Me:
"andmysoni
sgr
owi
ngheal
thi
l
y"
Ev
e:"
son"
?
Ker
i:
"whendi
dyoudot
hescan'
'
?
Me:
"notl
ong.
."
Ev
e:"
Ibethe'
sov
ert
hemoon"
Me:
"who"
Ker
i:
"yourboy
fri
end"
Me:
"oh.
..
yeahhei
s..
.Hei
s"

Bandij
onga..
.Iopenedthet
ubndat
ya,
Iswi
tchedon
theTVavoidi
ngtheirey
es.
Ev
e:"
Tri
na"
Me:
"mh"
Ker
i:
"what
'
swr
ong"
?
Me:
"not
hing"
Ev
e:"
Tri
nal
i
queSmi
th"
Me:
"Ev
enopl
ease"
Ker
i:
"yourey
essay
syouwer
ecr
ying"
Me:
"oh"

Iwast heonl
yoneeat i
ng..
.AsmuchasIwant edt o
tel
lthem,Idi
dn'twannaf eell
ikeIhav
et obur
den
them withmypr oblemsandIwant edtobeli
evet hat
Icanhandlemyownl i
feproblemsonmyown. .
.
Eve'
sphonedi sturbedmewasabel athenshe
handedmet hephone

Me:
"hm"
Hi
m:"
canwet
alk"
Me:
"I
'm busy
"
Hi
m:"
please"
-
cwaka-
Hi
m:"
I'
m out
side"

Ihungup...andwal kedoutst
il
li
nPJs,Ist
oodbyhi
s
windowandcr ossedmyar msacrossmychest
.He
rol
ledt
hewi ndowdownndamj ongamnaqha

Hi
m:"
pleasegeti
n"
Me:
"j
ustsaywhaty
oucamet
osaypl
ease"
Hi
m:"
babe"
Me:"
Ntando,
please.Youdroveal
lthewayhere
obv
iousl
yther
e'sar eason,
j
ustsayitandgo.Pl
ease"

Wohl
ikafr
om hi
scarandheldmefr
om t
heupper
ar
ms,Idi
dn'
tbackout
,hecamecl
oseandlookedme
i
ntheeye
Him:"
I'
m sorr
y..
.Ir
eal
l
yam.IknowIam wr
ong,
and
I
'm sosorr
y"
Me:"
thi
nkI'
vehear
dthatbef
oresocomeupwi
th
somethi
ngnew"
Hi
m:"S'
bongi
l
eand'kwazukonwabaknowingful
l
y
wel
lawonwabangaandthatI
'mthereason"
Me:
"kengokndi
thi
nimna?Feel
sor
ryf
ory
ou"
?
Hi
m:"nobutr
easonwi
thmeher
e"
Me:"
Baby,
Iwil
lreasonwi
thy
ouwheny
ouhav
e
somethi
ngbett
ertosayt
ome"

Iturnedandwalkedbackinside.
..
Iwon'
tli
eIwanted
tohughi m soti
ghtandfeelhist
eethbi
ti
ngthe
cornersofmouthbutundert heci
rcumst
ancesthat
woul dn'
thavebeenwise.

OkaysowhenIr eachedthehousemysi
ster
s
wouldn'
tbudge,
Ihadtotellt
hem t
hewhol
estor
y:v
EvewasfumingandKer
iwasbei
ngt
headul
tint
his
whol
esit
uati
on

Her:
"t
hinkofthebaby,
i
fyoubr
eakupwi
thhi
m what
wil
lyoutel
lyourbaby
"
Eve:
"t
hey
'r
ealotofbabieswhogrowwit
houtf
ather
s
Keri
,
shecannotsacr
if
iceherownhappi
nessf
ora
j
erk"
Keri:
"butshe'
sinlovewit
hhi m. .
.wecan'
toverlook
that.Tee,
allI
'
m sayi
ngissett her ul
es,
betr
ueand
honesttohim andleavethebal li
nhiscourtifhe
l
ov esyouasmuchashesay s,he'l
lcomeafteryou,
if
not..
.well
he'l
lal
waysputt hatchickbefor
ey ou"
Ev
e:"y
hu!He'
sluckyI
'
m notyou.Heshoul
dcounthi
s
bl
essi
ngthr
icewhenref
err
ingtoyou"

Myheartwasshatt
eredkanticozIreal
l
ylovehim,
I
wasevengonnaconsidergoi
ngwi thhi
mt oEast
Londononl
ybecauseI'dbespendingmoretimewit
h
hi
m.
Wehadaqui etsadday.
..
lat
eronLukecamehome
andboughtussupper.Weat eandwenttoourtoour
rooms.
.PastnineIwastossingandtur
ningandkwaz
ulal
aandmyphoner angIpickedup

Me:
"-
sil
ence-
"
Hi
m:"
baby
"
Me:
"-
sil
ence-
"
Hi
m:"
I'
m out
side.
..
ndcel
auphumesi
zot
het
ha"
Me:
"i
sshest
il
lher
e"
Hi
m:"
babes"
Me:
"t
henwehav
enot
hingt
otal
kabout
"
Him:"
ndi
yakucel
a..
.I
'
m begging.I
'
m notgoi
ng
anywher
esingat
hethanga"

Ihungup.
..
ndal
ala.

-
Fol
l
owi
ngMor
ning-
IwaswokenupbyLuupastfi
vei
nthemorning
ndav
elandamjongakway
enal
owocozndothukil
e
undv
uselani
soearly

Me:
"hm"
?
Hi
m:"
youhav
eav
isi
tor
"
Me:
"who"
Hi
m:"
yourboy
fri
end,
he'
sdownt
her
e"
Me:
"Idon'
twannat
alkt
ohi
m"
Hi
m:"
I'
m notget
ti
ngi
nvol
ved"

Watshoendi
shi
ya.
..
Isatupandstr
etchedthenI
woremygownandsl i
pper
sndayakuye,IsawLuke
dr
ivi
ngout-_
-

Me:
"mor
ning"
Hi
m:"
I'
m sor
ryt
owakey
ouup"
Me:
"whatdoy
ouwant
"
Hi
m:"
you"
Me:
"Idon'
thav
eti
mef
ort
his"

Itur
nedtowalkbackupstai
rs,
hegr
abbedmyarm
ndaj
ikaandlookedathi
m o.
Ohelookedathi
shand
andrel
easedme.
[
10/
9,19:
47]‪+27730692704‬:
#189

Me:
"i
tsst
il
lear
lyf
oral
lthi
sdr
ama"
Hi
m:"Okay..
.butIt
oldyouI'
m notgoinganywher
e
si
ngathet
hangaandI '
m st
il
lstandi
ngont hat
"
Me:"
uzol
i
ndaphikengokcozmybr
other
shousei
s
notawai
tingst
ati
on"
Hi
m:"
I'
ll
wai
tinmycar
"
Me:
"sho"

Iwal
kedhi
m out
..
.t
henl
ockedt
hedoornday
olal
a
again.ButIcouldn'
treal
l
ysleep.
..Nxa!Iwokeupand
wentt oeatthenndazovasandakhangelai
impahl
a
zonxibaEvewal kedi
n

Her
:"
goi
ngsomewher
e"?
Me:
"Nt
ando"
Her
:"
you'
reki
ddi
ng"

Ndat
hul
a

Her
:"
okayf
ine.
..
lemmehel
pyouchoose"
Me:
"sur
e"

Sheravagedmywar dr
obeandremov edapur ple
pepl
um mi nidresswit
hsi
lverpl
atform heals.
..I
l
ookedatherandshookmyhead, Itookoutmyt hug
l
ifeT-
shirtandsneakerst
henIwor ekneel ength
deni
m shor t
s,j
ustti
edmyhairattheback.
Her
:"
oh-kay.
..
youhotneh,
butIwoul
dn'thav
echosen
t
hatlookforuundert
hecir
cumstances"
Me:"
I'
m notgoingther
etoi
mpr
ess
any
one,si
yothetha"
Her
:"
sti
l
l.
..
but
,I
'
llr
especty
ou"
Me:
"t
hanky
ou"

ThenIt ookmyt wophonesl eavi

ngmywal l
etand
tabndaphumaandny hani hewasst il
loutsi
de
,wav ul
aucangongokwakhei gotinandkeptmy
mout hshut.Hestar
tedt hecar ,
wadlul
akwaSpur
wohlikayedwathenhecamebackwi thfoodand
drovehome.Whenwer eachedhi shouseIgotout
andwal kedahead,i
twasl ockedsoheunl ockedand
wewal kedin,
Isatonthecouchandwai ted.
..He
broughtthefoodandpl atesphambi kwethuthenhe
sighed...
Iwasjustl
ookingathi m,hesaidhewant ed
totalk?Nowhemustt alk.
Him:"Iunder standt haty ou'r
eupset ,
Iunder standwhy
you'r
eupsetandIam sor ryonceagai n.Iwaswr ong
forbringingChumaher e..
.Ididn'tlethercook, Iwas
outwhenshedi dt hatbutst i
llI'
m sor rycozt hatwas
outofpl ace.Ilov ey ou, Irespecty ouandi thur tme
wheny ousai dIdon' tr especty ou,thatIdon' thav e
dignit
y .
..
comi ngf rom y ouIr ealizedt hatImusthav e
l
ostt hepl otsomewher eandIwannaamendt hings
betweenus.Ican' tloosey ou,Ican' taf f
ordt hatand
i
tsnotev enaboutt hebabyy ou'recar ryi
ng,Ican't
affordtol oosey ouasaper sonasmyper son...
babe
pleasendcel aundi xol ele.Icoul dn' tsleeplastni ght.
..
Thishousebecamet oobi g.
..Pl ease"

Hi
sfacewasi
npai
n..
.butundt
hat
hacheap:
(tchi
n.

Me:
"uphi
"
Hi
m:"
she'
satherf
ri
endshousei
nPr
etor
ia"
Me:
"Owe"
?
Hi
m:"
shel
eftwi
thhi
m"
Me:
"mmh"

Wesati nt
hatsi
lenceforafewseconds,hecameto
si
tnexttomeandhel dbothmyhands..
.atear
tr
ickl
eddownmycheek, It
ri
edl
ookingaway ,
hesawit
fi
rstandwipedi
t

Hi
m:"
not
hingbr
eaksmyhear
tthanseei
ngy
oucr
y"
Me:
"yety
ouenj
oyhur
ti
ngme"
Hi
m:"
asozendphi
nde,
Ipr
omi
se"
Me:
"Idon'
twantyourwords,
Iwanttoseeproof
.
Wor
dshav enovaluewhenther
e'snoacti
on"

Hel i
ft
edmychi nandkissedme. ..
themi nut
eIclosed
myey eszehli
inyembezi zam ngat
hizi v
ulel
weet api
n.
Ihadal umpinmyt hr
oat ,
ahugeone. ..I
'vet
ried
tal
kingbuti
tsnotmyt hing.Notatall.Weki ssed
untilt
hatl
umpdi eddownIpul ledbackandf i
xed
my sel
f
Hi
m:"
allI
'
m aski
ngi
sasecondchance,
I
'l
ldor
ight
wi
thyou"
Me:
"Ican'
tal
way
sbesecondbest
"
Him:"
from nowony
ouwon'
t,
nott
haty
ou'
veev
er
been"
Me:"If
eelli
keI'
m secondbest
,If
eel
li
keI'
m notgood
enough,t
hatChumawi ll
alway
sbepartofourl
ivesi
n
anunpleasantmanner"
Him:
"shewil
lbepar
tofourl
i
vesbecauseofour
son,
nothi
ngmore"
Me:"y
ou'renott
ell
i
ngmet hetrut
h,Youhav
ea
daughterwit
hAneli
sabutshe'snotpar
tofour
l
ives,
notevenherchi
ld'
sli
fe.Why"?
Hi
m:"
that
'sadi
ff
erentst
orybabe"
Me:
"cozy
oureal
l
yhav enofeel
ingsf
orAnel
i
sabut
f
orChumayoucan'
treal
lysaysoneh"?
Hi
m:"
ndi
thandawenamna"
Me:
"Idon'
tdoubtt
hatbuty
ouhav
eunf
ini
shed
busi
nessnoChuma,
unset
tl
edf
eel
i
ngsf
ort
hat
matt
er"

Wat
hul
a..

Me: "
I'
m ser
iousNtando,
Idon'tcarehowmany
sleepl
essnightsy
ouhav easl ongasChumast
il
l
l
ingersbetweenusIcan'tshame,Iwon'
t"
Him:
"shewon'
tbe..
.shesnot.Justsayy
esy ou'
l
lgiv
e
methechancetoprovemy sel
fanddedicat
ionto
youandmyson"
Me:
"f
ine"
Hi
m:"
thanky
ou,
Ipr
omi
sey
ouwon'
tregr
ett
his"

Ihadnot
hingt
osay,
hekissedmyl
i
psf
orawhol
e
minut
ethenwehugged.

Me:
"Il
ovey
ou"
Hi
m:"Il
oveyou,
somehowIcan'
ti
magi
nemyl
i
fe
wi
thoutyou"
Me:
"nei
thercanI
"

Wekeptthathugunt
ilwewerebothsat
isf
iedt
hen
webrokeitandst
art
edeat
ing.
..Andmadesmall
conv
ersat
ion.

Hi
m:"
sowe'
regoi
ngt
oEastLondonneh"
Me:
"Idon'
tknow"
Hi
m:"
hai
kengokbabe"
Me:
"Idon'
tthi
nkI
'
mreadyt
omeety
ourmom"
Him:"
I'
ll
bookusi
nahot
elkal
ok,
ndi
kushi
yepha
ndbuyenosi
no"
Me:
"hai
kendi
yahamba"
Hi
m:"
canIaskonet
hing"
Me:
"sur
e"
Hi
m:"
ebesi
thi
niuAnel
i
sawhenshecal
l
edy
ou"
Me:"
shewant
edt
oseeumnt
anakheev
eni
fit
sone
day
"
Hi
m:"
oh.
..
youcancal
lherxasesi
phay
a"
Me:"bendizokwenzanj
aloanywaycozIst
il
ldon'
t
understandwhyy oucan'
tfor
giv
eherandlethersee
herbaby "
Hi
m:"
mov
ingr
ightal
ong.
..
uzodi
ngant
on"
Me:
"not
hing,
I
'm okayl
endl
elandi
yi
yo.
..
"
Hi
m:"
awf
uni
ntoi
ntsha"
Me:
"no.
..
butIwon'
tsaynot
oanewhai
rst
yle"
Hi
m:"
okay
"

Wecontinuedeat
inghi
sphoner
ang:
v:vy
hu
andadi
kwaNkos'yam!

Hi
m:"
yah"
Vi
nce:"
brasi
val
elwezezi
nyei
ibr
azaphat
heydon'
t
wantustosel
lbafunawena"
Hi
m:"
khawni
keomny
ewaboi
phone"

Hi
m:"
Beast
"
Bae:
"ni
thi
nina"
Hi
m:"
sfunawenandoda"
Bae:
"ni
sur
e"
Hi
m:"
lawei
"
Bae:
"ndi
l
apho"

Hehungupandranupstair
swabuy
awear
ingan
ar
mybombersleev
elessjacket

Hi
m:"
ndi
yabuy
angok"
Me:
"uy
aphi
"
Hi
m:"
kooVi
nce"
Me:
"nam f
unuhamba"
Hehesi
tat
edbutgav
ein.
..
Het
hrewmet
hekey

Hi
m:"
dri
ve.
..
li
key
ou'
reangr
y"
Me:
"yessi
r"

20mi nut
esisal ot
..
.whi
leIwasdri
vi
nghesharpened
apocketknifethensafi
kakugcwel
eblackcar
skwi
parki
nglot.Heloadedagunandanotherone:omy
thr
oatwentdr y

Me:
"oh-
kaywhat
'
sgoi
ngon"
Hi
m:"
uhm...
stayinthecar.Backseatbutkeepaney
e
onwhat
'shappeningouthere"
Me:
"babet
hisi
sadangerzoneneh"
Hi
m:"
somet
hingl
i
ket
hat
"

Heki
ssedmef
ull
ont
hel
i
pst
henonmyf
orehead.
..
Hi
m:"
Ilov
eyou"
Me:
"becar
eful
"

Thenhel ef
t..
.Icount ed,15mi nuteswasov er.
Ndahl alandalinda..
.asIwasaboutt ogetoutoft he
car ,
Iheardthreegunshot sIf r
ozei nthatseatri
ght
afterIlockedmy sel
fi n.Ididthosebr eathi
ng
techniquesthatcal my oudownandwai ted
trembl i
ngthist i
mear oundt henNt andocameout
andopenedt hecar ,Iunlockedt hepassengerdoor
forhim hel i
ft
edupt heseatandt ookoutamachet e
waphi ndawahamba. ..
ongenakwakheIcoul dhear
i
zi khal
oandacoupl eofsj ambokorcl apsoundsI '
m
notsur e.Hisphoner ang...Chuma- _-

Me:
"Chuma"
Her
:"
Tri
na.Uphi
uNt
ando"
Me:
"ubumgci
niseban"
Her
:"
hayungandi
qhel
ikemnakendokukhabauny
e
mna"
Me:
"ndi
kukhabeut
yekemnake"
Her:
"wehsi
si,
cany ougiveNtandohi
sphone?Iai
n'
t
gatt
imetowast eony ourLi
lwhit
etr
ashassokay?
Li
ke..
.y
ou'
veforgottenthaty
ou'r
ewaaayoutt
ayour
l
eaguenana"
Me:
"out
tamal
eague?Whatl
eaguei
sthat
"
Her:"
Ntandoisonlyplay
ingwithyou,
he'l
lgetyou
pregnantandleav
ey outher
e..
.heneedsmat ured
women, womenwhoknowhowt olookafteraman
notgirl
swhojustknowhowt ogetinbedwi t
ha
man"
Me:"neh?Imeanhe' dr athersti
ckwithyounggi
rl
s
cozthey'
ref r
eshandj uicycompar edtotheki
nda
womany ou'r
ereferr
ingt o.
..Who'v
ebeen
around,
whohav eexperiencecozsomewher e
somehowt hey'
velosttheirtast
e"
Her:
"l
ostt
heirt
ast
e?Wazint
oningetaste?Canyou
evenmoveinbed?Tchi
nhaysubaselekaapha"
Me:
"youknowy
ou'
redumbert
hanIt
hought
,i
nfact
y
ou'
remor
est
upi
dthany
oul
ook"
Her:
"hahaha!Mxm fuzubawenay ou'
restucktot
he
missi
onary.
..
ohIfeelsorr
yforNtando.Inobanay
e
ukheazbuzebaway ebonentoni
kuwe"
Me:"sweethear
t,
whatNtandoneedsorwant sisnot
yourconcernsodon'tworryyour
selftoomuchabout
him cozIgothim cov
ered.I'
vegothisback"

[[
Isawthr
eeguy
sr unni
ngout,l
i
mpi ngandonewas
holdi
nghi
sarmli
keitsi
njur
ed,theygoti
ntwocars
andIhear
dthet
iresscr
eechingoutofthespot
]]

Her:
"wel
lwhil
eyou'
rebusyhol
dingont
ohi
sback,
I'
m
comingforhi
sfr
ont
.NdifunaomnyeuOwent
ando
man"
Me:"I
'
m notsurpr
ised.
..
ImeanIknowasl utwhenI
seeone.Youknow,you'
renotverydi
fferentfr
om a
prost
it
ute,
sell
i
ngy ourbody,
thr
owingy oursel
fata
mancozy ouknowt heycanprovi
dethehi ghli
fef
or
you"
Her
:"
andy
out
hinky
ou'
rebet
ter
"?
Me:
"IknowI'
m bet
ter
..
.but
,youwouldn'
tknow.CanI
whi
spersomethi
nginyourear?Ungangxol
ipl
s"
Her
:"
what
"?
Me:"
unal
onolwimi?Anywayhere.
..Nt
andowillnev
er
beyour
s.Ifni
yebananohl
alani
banabuthe'l
lnever
beyour
s..
.omnkakwakhekum he'
llgotosomeone
el
se"
Her
:"
uyazi
qhat
a"
Me:"
awmuncu.
..
onl
yadogv omit
sandgoesbackto
i
tsvomi
tandasfarasIknow,
MYNtandoain'
tno
dog"

ThenIhungup. .
.Idel
etedt hecallhi
story
ndabhekabheka.IsawVi nceandt herestofthest
aff
evacuat
ingtheShisaNy amaandot hersmusthave
beenthecustomer sthenNt andolockedWaze
emotweni.Hegoti nandr eleasedalongbreath

Me:
"what
'sgoi
ngon"
Hi
m:"
let
'sgohome"

AsIdroveout
..
.Ihear
dpoli
cesi
renswabeebusy
uNtandoonhi
stablet
.Whenwereachedhi
s
apart
mentChumaupholeKumindnoOweont he
stoop

Hi
m:"
nott
hisshi
tagai
n,
yer
r"

Wegotoutandhewal
kedi
nfr
ontofme

Hi
m:"
what
'sup"
Her:
"Owewant
edtoseey
ouandwehappenedt
obe
ar
oundthear
ea"
Owe:
"yaphosi
samamay
ousai
dmasi
gqi
theapha"

Il
ookedatthem andopenedthehousendabashi
ya
pha.
..
Iwenttothekit
chenndakhuphai
cecream t
ub
andtookaspoonnday ohl
alaelounge
ndatya,
Ntandowalkedi
n,Wakheonespoonand
walkedupstai
rs.OoChumabangena.
[
10/9,19:47]‪+27730692704‬: [
[Rememberthi
s
i
nsertwheny oudon'thavebreakfastinthemor
ning
>_<Ididtelly'
al
li
tsbreakfastneh?v ery
good..
.goodni
ghti
nikengok:*:*]]

#190

Theysatononecouch.
..

Owe:
"si
sicanIj
oiny
ou"
Me:
"f
etchy
our
sel
faspoon"
Her
:"
hlal
aphant
siwena"

Helookedathi
smot herandwentt
othe
ki
tchen,
kamamelinauOwentando?Wow.Hecame
backandsatnexttomesatya
Me:
"how'
sschool
"
Hi
m:"I
'
m asoccerpl
ayerandIj
oinedt
her
eadi
ng
cl
ub"
Me:
"mmh,
I
'm sur
eyourdadi
spr
oudofy
ou"
Her
:"
hei
s,
buty
ouwoul
dn'
tknowcozawzel
anga"
-
_-
Me:"y
ouli
keshowingof
fhuh?It
sli
keyougrewup
underabr
idgeorsomet
hing,
yonki
ntokuweli
gugu"
Her
:"
ungandi
qhel
ikemnake"

Ntandocamedownt al
kingonphone.
..
hetookmy
spoonwatya,
takingOweuponhi slapsohecouldsi
t
nexttome.Afterhisconver
sat
ionhelookedatme

Hi
m:"
awl
ambanga"
Me:
"I
'm cool
"
Hi
m:"
mmmh,
boyboyut
hini
san"
Owe:
"whenwi
l
lIgot
oEastLondon"
Hi
m:"
youwannago"
?
Owe:
"ewekal
okandi
thi
uSi
nol
i
vest
her
e"
Him:"
yeahwell
..
.okay,
si
zohambanawenextweeki
f
uzobeusekwel
icala"
Her
:"
sizobesi
sel
apha.
..
nihambangol
wengaphi
"?
Hi
m:"
whatbr
ingsy
ouher
e..
.onaser
iousnot
e"
Me:
"andI
'
m soi
nter
est
edt
oheart
hisone"
Her
:"
ndi
tshi
l
onj
ebau-
"
Hi
m:"
stopusi
ngOwe,
itsnotcut
eany
mor
e"
Her:
"myfri
endi
str
avel
i
ngnex
tweeksowe'
reki
nda
st
randed"
Hi
m:"
thengobackt
oCapeTown"
Her
:"
wecan't
..
.Imean,I
'm st
il
lgoi
ngtoMalawi
once
t
heyconf
ir
m weatherchangesI'
ll
begone"
Hi
m:"andi
ngeni
ndawokekodwamnakuy
oyonke
l
ont
o"
Her
:"
hai
boNt
andouzosi
yekasi
l
aleest
rat
weni
"?
Him:"
correct
ion,
ndi
zokuyeka.Oweisgoi
ngtoEast
Londonwi t
hme,soasagr ownwomant haty
ou
are,
I
'm sureyoucansortyoursel
fout
"
Her
:"
isthatwhyyoudidn'
tanswermycal
l
s?Wani
ka
l
omntanabaay i
phendul
e"
Hi
m:"
whatcal
l
s"
Her:"
Icalledyoucountlesst ime..
whoahwai t,
she
didnttel
ly ouyetsheanswer edyourcall
s?Howcan
youtrustsomeonewhoi sn'thonestwithyou?What
i
fIcal l
edbecauseIr eall
yneededy ourhel
p?Ihadan
emer gencywithseverecr ucial
it
y"?
Him:"
itdoesn'
tmat t
ercozther
ewasnoemergency.
..
From nowon,ify
oudocal l
ansheanswer
sthecall
helpyoursel
fbyleavi
ngthemessagewi
thher
"
Her
:"
ohnowyou'v
epromotedhertobei
ngy
ourPA?
Wow,uy
akwazukwenzamntaneqhey
a"

Me:
"nana"
Hi
m:"
lov
e"
Me:
"cel
aundphat
hel
eIul
tr
aMel
"
Hegotupandwentt
otheki
tchennoOwe

Her
:"
umt
yisent
oni
"
Me:
"l
entoungazangeukwazi
umt
yisay
onawhenhe
wasal
lyours"

TheycamebackIpouredonmysi
de,
theypour
edal
l
overt
heicecr
eam sat
yani

Her
:"
okaycany
ouatl
eastr
entmel
abnbke"
Hi
m:"you'
reworki
ng,I
'
m sur
eyoucanaffor
dpayi
ng
f
oryoursel
f.I
fnot
,fi
ndamantodoitforyou"
Her
:"
you'
renotmanenough"
?
Me:
"hemeantf
indy
our
sel
fyourownman.
..
nott
aken
man"
Her
:"
Iwasn'
ttal
ki
ngt
oyou"
Me:
"Idon'
ttal
ktopeopl
ewhof
losswi
tht
hesame
mat
chst
ickst
heycl
eant
hei
rear
swi
th"
Her
:"Nt
andouyandqhel
alomnt
ana,
and
ndi
zomkhaba"
Hi
m:"
uzomkhabel
aphi
?Umnt
anamny
eaphangu
Owe"
Her:
"oh,
you'
regi
vi
ngheraut
hor
it
yhuh?Hehsi
si,
do
youknowwhoIam"
Him:"
Chumapl
s,khawmengedr
amaIhav
en'
thada
ver
ygoodday"
Her
:"
wit
hher
?Iwoul
dn'
tbl
amey
ou"
Me:
"Chuma,
masi
ngaqhel
ani
pls"

Her
:"
ozokwenzan?Youdon'
tfr
ight
enme,
youknow"

Lolndamjongal osisi
..
.ezakar
ateclasseszm would
comei nhandyser i
ous,cozuyand'qhelanyhani
umnt anomntu.Ilookedatbaeandsmi led,
he
brushedhairoutofmyf aceandtuckedi tbehindmy
ear.Lolhewasal sosmi li
ngli
kecupi dshotloadsof
hear
tsi
ntheai
r

Her
:"
eshe,
awsazi
thandi
si"
Me:
"babycany
out
ransl
atet
hatf
orme"
Her
:"
getar
oom ani
saboni
nomnt
anal
oh"
Me:
"someonei
sgr
eenwi
thenv
y"
Her
:"
envy
ingyou?Kal
oksi
siut
yai
i
ntshi
yekel
azam
whyarey
ouforget
ti
ng"
Me:
"mi
stakeyakhozangeuy
ikr
wel
ekak'
hl
e
l
ent
shwela"

Iki
ssedhi
sli
ps,
Oweswi
tchedont
heTVt
ocar
toons
:v

Me:"
erh.
..Idi
dn'
tpl
antospendmydaywi
thy
our
babymommay azkebabe"
Her
:"t
henamei
sChuma,f
uthi
I'
m notgoing
any
wherekesi
sii
ngat
hngewuzikhul
ula"
Hi
m:"
uhambani
niChuma"
Her
:"
uthi
niNt
ando"
Me:"
babelomntul
ivesint
hesuburbsorhav
eyou
f
orgott
en?SpeakEngli
shuzokuv
a"

Owewahl
eka,
hi
sfat
herj
oined.

Me:
"guy
swhat
'st
hej
oke"
Hi
m:"
not
hing.
..
Boy
,i
syourphonewi
thy
ou"
?
Owe:
"ewet
ata"
Hi
m:"
I'
ll
cal
lyouxasi
zohambanextweeky
abo"
Owe:
"okay
"
Him:
"Chuma, ndi
yakucelaNont
ombingesi
hlenj
eba
usi
khwelel
e..Kancincinj
emntakwet
hu"

Whateverpri
deshehadl ef
tinher,
shecoll
ect
ed
her
selfwafakaumsilaphaj
athikwemi
lenze
whaphumanommt anakhe.
Me:
"awsaact
'i
nje"
Hi
m:"
ndf
undeaphakuwekamnandi
"
[
10/
9,19:
48]‪+27730692704‬:
#191

Me:
"ndi
yaact
erngok"
?
Hi
m:"
whydi
dn'
tyout
ell
meshecal
l
ed"
Me:"
buzomf
ounel
anj
ethenwegobackt
osquar
e
one"
Hi
m:"hav
eaLi l
fait
honmeplease,
Itol
dyouI'
m ov
er
t
hatandI'
m seri
ous.Nguweunumberone"
Me:
"Iwannaf
eel
it"

Henudgedmyr
ibs:
vIscr
eamedkanci
nci
>_<

Hi
m:"
yazuy
atef
ababywena"
Me:
"ohpuhl
eez.
..
tel
lme,
whathappenedt
oday
"
Hi
m:"
youdon'
twannaknow"
Me:
"I
'm aski
ngmos.
..
fut
hisi
l
ambi
l
ethi
na"
Hi
m:"
I'
ll
cal
lVi
ncet
obr
ingussomet
hing,
I
'mt
oot
ir
ed
t
odri
ve"
Me:
"sur
e"

Hecall
edVi
ncegqi
bawahl
alaphant
siandwe
cuddl
ed

Hi
m:"
TaKi
l
lasenthi
speopl
eofv
andal
i
zemyshop"
Me:
"why
"
Him:"
Idon'
tknowandIdon'
tcar
e,buthegotwhathe
deser
vedandmore"
Me:
"don'
ttel
lmey
ouki
l
ledt
hosepeopl
e"
Hi
m:"
itswasei
thert
hem orme..
.andIcoul
dn'tbai
t
wi
thpeopl
e'
sli
ves,
mywhol est
affwasworking
t
oday"
Me:
"yhobaby
!Bangaphi
"
Hi
m:"
Ithi
nkIki
ll
edthr
ee..
.t
heotherthr
eeranoff
,one
wi
thhal
fanarm,t
wowiththreemissi
ngtoes"

Ndaphakamandamj
onga.
..

Me:
"you'
reser
ious"
Hi
m:"
Idon'
tj
okewi
thser
iousst
uff
,youl
ookshaken"
Me:
"It
hinkIshoul
dbeaf
rai
dofy
ou"
Him:"
wel
lIwi
l
lnev
erki
l
lyouorcuty
ourLi
lcut
etoes
sorel
ax"
Me:"
babe.
..
youspeakngat
hit
hisi
ssomegame,
you
knowthi
sisreal
li
feneh"
Him:"
mor er
ealt
omet haniteverwil
lbetoyou
babes..
.movi
ngon,Vi
ncesaidhe'swit
hLiboso
ther
e'sahugepossi
bil
i
tybazozabobabini
"

Ichuckl
ed.
..
lechap,hej
ustbr
ushedt
hisi
ssuel
i
ke
nobody'
sbusiness?Wow.
Vinceknockedwhilewewer ecuddledubabewathi
makangena,theywalkedinwalki
ngbehindthe
other.
..
mntanam uzotyebast
runamhl anj
ehe'
sbeen
eati
ngjunkfoodoko.TheyputChi ckenLi
ckenonthe
coffeetabl
ebabuli
sa

Vi
nce:
"ugr
andTee"
Me:
"I
'm okaywena"
Vi
nce:
"ndshar
pnam.
..
bra,
si
yal
eqa"
Hi
m:"
oh.
..
howmuchdoIowey
ou"
?
Vi
nce:
"105"

Hewentupst airsway ot
hathai
wallet
...
wesati nthat
sil
encekeshame.Baecamebackandl ookedatme
suspici
ously:vIwasbusyonhi sphone,Iwas
actuall
ypl
ay i
ngar acinggameqha. .
.hegav eVince
themoneyt hent heylef
tandhewentt ofetch
glassesfr
om t hekit
chenandwesati nthatsame
positi
on
Hi
m:"
andt
hen"
?
Me:
"what
"
Hi
m:"
youandVi
nce?Ni
saqumbel
enena"
Me:
"heneedst
ogr
owupt
hat
'sal
l
"
Hi
m:"
Ihopey
oudi
dn'
ttel
lhi
mthat
"
Me:
"i
tdoesn'
tmat
terev
eni
fIdi
d..
."

Helookedatmeandshookhishead..
.Ir
eachedout
andtookapacketofCLchi
psndatya,
hejoi
ned
i
n..
.mysist
erscal
led:
v

Me:
"hi
"
Ker
i:
"hey
,you'
reokay
?Di
dyouf
ixt
hings"
?
Me:
"er
h..
.y
es"
Ev
e:"
youdon'
tsoundt
oosur
e"
Me:"
i'
m ki
ndabusyri
ghtnowbutIpr
omi
sewe'
l
ltal
k
whenI'
m homeguys"
Ker
i:
"okaybaby
,hopef
ull
yyou'
reenj
oyi
ngy
our
sel
ves"
Ev
e:"
hemust
n'tbr
ingy
ouatni
ghtkepl
s"
Me:
"yesma'
am"
Ker
i:
"wel
ovey
ou"
Me:
"Il
ovey
'al
ltoo,
nowpl
s,
canIeat
"?

Theyl
aughedaswehungup.
..

Hi
m:"
yoursi
steri
shome"
?
Me:
"bot
hoft
hem"
Hi
m:"
oh,
thatmeansy
oucan'
tsl
eepher
etoni
ght
"
Me:
"unf
ort
unat
ely
"
Hi
m:"mmh..
.youknowforasecondIt
houghty
ou
wer
egoingthroughmyphone"
Me:
"ar
eyouhi
dingsomet
hing"
Him:"
no..
.hai
sukaungahambanay
olophoneuy
olal
a
nayokokwenuakhonix"
Me:"
me?Gohomewi
thy
ourphone?Wow,
nowt
hat
's
afi
rst
"
Him:
"wewannabehonestri
ght
,t
henwhat'
sst
oppi
ng
usfr
om expl
ori
ngt
hist
ranspar
encyke"
Me:"Idon'
twannafi
ghtwi
thyoumna,
phoney
akho
yeyakhobabe.
..
nott
hatImindgoi
nghomewit
hit
butI..
."
Hi
m:"
you'
reaf
rai
doft
heunknownr
ight
"?
Me:
"somet
hingl
i
ket
hat
"
Him:"t
henIwon'
ttakeyours.
.I
'
llgi
veyoubothmy
personal
phonesuzibuy
isewheneveryouf
eell
ike"
Me:
"aha!Sokhesbone"

:
vhaywewi
l
lsee.
..
thi
s?Thi
sisaf
ir
st!
[
10/
9,19:
49]‪+27730692704‬:
#192

West ar
tedeat
ingsancokol
a..
.t
hepoli
cecal
l
ed
aboutwhathappenedattheShisaNy
amahesaid
theyshoul
dspeaktoVincentsi
ncehe'st
hemanager
them hehungupont hem,hewaschi l
ledngat hi
nothinghappened,Iwasstil
lshakenbutIt r
ustedhim
wheni tcomest omyownpr otecti
on.
..
lolIhadno
choicebuttotrusthim andbeliev
ehe'llneverhurt
me.Okaywehadourl atelunchsagqiba
sayongqengqaupst ai
rs

Me:
"babe"
Hi
m:"
hm"
Me:"I
'
m seri
ousaboutChuma,Idon'
tli
kethi
s
connect
iony'
all
havecabay oucan'
tevensl
eep
becauseofherassi
gnments"
Hi
m:"
ndi
yeki
l
ebabe.
..
whenwi
l
lyouagr
eet
omar
ry
me"
Me:
"whenI
'
mready
"
Hi
m: "
you'r
enotr
eadytocommitkodwawe'
re
al
readyinacommitt
edrel
ati
onshi
p"
Me:"Iam notev
enfull
y20y et
,okaykebabel
emme
giv
ebi r
ththenwe'
l
ltalkaboutthi
smarri
agethi
ng
yabo"
Hi
m:"
mmh"

-
Fol
l
owi
ngWeek-

Theprevi
ousweekIhadsl eptekhayat
hewhol e
weekcozIknewI 'm goi
ngtoELkulevekisoI
packedenoughclothesandshoesthenthatdayhe
cametofetchmeuhambay edwaandmysi st
ers
weren'
thomel uckyforhi
m cozEvewasst i
l
l madat
hi
m: vIgotinandwewentt ofetchOwe

Me:
"si
yaphi
"
Hi
m:"
Pret
ori
a,sot
hat
hauOwent
ando"

Okay.
..Meaningsi
zobonaloChuma-_-wewentto
thi
shouseandparked..
.i
namatterofsecondsOwe
camer unni
ngwavulaucango

Hi
m:"
mol
weni
sisi
"
Me:
"mol
oboy
"
Hi
m:"
umamausav
alaIbaguy
eza"
Me:
"sho"

Chumacameoutwi
thherf
ri
endcar
ryi
ngOwe'
sbag

Her
:"
mol
weni
"
Hi
m:"
sho"
Fr
iend:
"t
akeowe,
awnqabengat
hiawukhol
apha"
Hi
m:"
awundi
nqabel
angakemna"

Chumapackedi
bagy
omnt
anakhe,
Ntandost
art
ed
hi
scar

Chuma:
"don'
tfor
gett
odr
inky
oumedsmyboyev
ha"
Owe:
"okaymama,
byeby
e"
Chuma:
"heee!By
eby
e..
.Nt
andoni
zobuy
ani
ni"
Hi
m:"
ophel
akwehol
i
day
"
Her:
"I
'l
lbegonebyt
hensocelauzumsekwaMakazi
baudewakhonabaakekhokeuyomgci
na
ngokwakho"
Hi
m:"
shar
p"
Her
:"
youknowhi
sal
l
ergi
esr
ight
"?

Hej ustlookedatherandr evvedoutofthatplace..

.
Wedr ovetot heair
portandMowasal r
eady
waiting,
thePJett ookust oEastLondoninstyle:v
whenwer eachedtherewewentt otheHemi ngway '
s
hotel wherehebookedasui tf
orusthenwe
fr
eshenedupandor deredfood.

Iwasn'thungry
,Iwantedtosleepsondavel
a
ndabashiyandayol
ala..
.hef
ollowedasIpul
ledt
he
cover
sov ermyhead

Hi
m:"
babeur
ight
"
Me:
"mmmh"
Hi
m:"
arey
ousur
e?Awf
uni
not
ya"
Me:
"I
'l
leatl
ater
..
.i
fni
yaphumat
akey
ourcar
d(key
)
wi
thyou"
Hi
m:"
okay
..
.khandj
ongekuqal
a"

Il
i
ftedmyheadandlookedathim,
hebentdownand
wekissed:
)thenhewenttoj
oinhi
sson.

Somet imelaterIhear dthem leavecozIwasn' tfast

asleep...
Iwascl oset hough.WhenIwokeupi nthe
afternoontheyhadn' treturnedy etbuttherewas
foodsoIat eupt hencal l
edt hein-houserestaurant
forfreshrooibost eaandcooki es:pIcravedcooki es
l
awei ..
.andIknewv erywel lt
heywon' ttasteli
ke
momsbutt heyshoul ddot hejustice.Myor derwas
deliv
eredndat yandi bukeleumedi caldet
ectivesthen
myphoner ang

Me:
"hel
l
o"
Hi
m:"
uSi
nout
hiuzozangomso"
Me:
"nopr
obl
em"
Hi
m:"
ndi
kphat
hel
ent
on"
Me:
"St
eer
scar
amel
icecr
eam"
Him:
"ukhonaust
eer
saphosomt
hengaobuy
a
kwam"
Me:
"sho"
Hi
m:"
umamawannaspeakt
oyou"
Me:
"hayNt
andof
ondi
n"
Hi
m:"
justsayhi
,
that
'
sal
l
"

Yhoheee:
oukoy
ikaokungakobawo!
!

Her
:"
hal
l
o"
Me:
"hel
l
omama"
Her
:"
unj
ani
naNont
ombi
"
Me:
"ndi
yaphi
l
amamaunj
ani
wena"
Her
:"I
'm wel
l.
..
awf
uninokuzondi
bonayhinina
mntanam uSi
noekhal
angaweaphai mininobusuku"
Me:
"heee"
Her
:"nobauzeemini
uphandeuhambe
mntanam,yhi
ni"
Me:
"okay
..
.Ndi
zot
het
hanot
atakaSi
noma"
Her
:"
enkosi
sisi
,
nil
alekak'
hl
ekev
ha"
Me:
"nani
mama"

Thenshegav
ethephonet
oNt
ando.
..

Hi
m:"
wil
lseey
ouj
ustnow"
Me:
"uzobona"
!

Hel
aughedIhungup.
..
.
Yhobawo!
.
..
..
.
Ntandocamebackwhi l
eIwasbat hi
ngagai n>_<I
'm
awatermaniacstr
u!Idon'
tlikefeeli
ngt i
redkuse
kuthimandi
vaseqhaqwaba.WhenIcameouthe
wasont hebedonhisbackandIhadat owel
wrappedaroundmybody .
..
hesatupandpul l
edme
bythearm soIst
oodinfr
ontofhi m sulki
ng,he
ki
ssedmeandsuckedt hebot t
om l i
pthatstuckout

Hi
m:"
Ilov
ethenat
ural
you"
Me:
"whydi
dyousel
lmeoutKumamakho"
Hi
m:"Idi
dn'
t.
..
shethoughtI
'
mtheonewhodoesn'
t
wantyoutomeether"
Me:
"mmh"

Weki ssed..
.heslowlyremovedthetowel whi
lewe
ki
ssedunt ilIfel
titsl
i
dingdownmyl egsanhis
handsmov edf r
om mybackt omyasspul li
ngme
cl
oser .Hest oppedabrupt
lyandlookedatme
smil
ingt hendownatmybel l
yhebentdownhi shead
andki
ssedi
t

Him:"
you'
regoi
ngtopl
ayr
ugbyandbeasuccessf
ul
advocat
eneboy"
Me:
"adv
ocat
ebabe"
?
Him:"
orajudge.
..
hemustt
akeaf
tery
ouanddol
aw
kal
okbabe"

Thenhekissedt
hatbell
yagai
nallt
hewaydownand
uptomyboobs,neck,
chi
nandlipst
henhest
opped
andlookedatmecheesil
y

Hi
m:"
you'
rebeaut
if
ul"
Me:
"t
hanky
ou"
Hi
m:"
andIwanty
out
ogl
owev
enmor
ebeaut
if
ul"
Me:"Iam glowingalr
eady,
youbeinginlov
ewit
hyou
i
sthebestt hingthathaseverhappenedinmy
l
if
e,aftert
hesmi ths"
Hi
m:"
weshoul
dfi
ndy
ourdad"
Me:
"when"
Hi
m:"
wheny
ou'
vegi
venbi
rt
h"
Me:"
mmh,
nowcanIpl
easegetdr
essed?I
'
m get
ti
ng
acol
d"

Hepul
l
edagownanddr
essedme
[
10/
9,19:
49]‪+27730692704‬:
#193

Iwrappedthegownwar
mlyaroundmysel
fandsat
down,r
esti
ngmyheadonhisshoul
der

Me:
"mmmbaby
"
Hi
m:"
mmyl
ovi
e"
Me:
"canwegot
othemov
ies"
Hi
m:"
youshoul
drest
,soy
angomso"
Me:
"yay
azi
bauy
icont
rol
freak"
Him:
"I
'l
lpr
etendIdi
dn'
theart
hat
..
lookt
her
e's
someoneI'
m meeti
ngi
nanhour"
Me:
"ngubany
ena"
Hi
m:"
oneofmyguys.
..
Kil
l
aisappar
ent
lyl
ooki
ngf
or
mesoIneedt
heseguystobeal
ert
"
Me:
"Nt
ando"
!
Hi
m:"
don'
twor
ry,
we'
resaf
e.Okay
"
Me:
"abant
wana"
?
Him:
"they
'r
esafe,
Ijustwannainf
ormlechapofmy
fi
ndi
ngsthenthey
'l
l beontopofthi
ngs.That
'swhatI
payt
hem for"

Ndat
hula.
..
Ijustgotupandwalkedtothe
wi
ndow...
hef ol
lowedandstoodbehi
ndmehol
ding
mywaistandbi ti
ngmyneck.

Me:
"uzandi
gqi
ba"
Hi
m:"
you'
real
lmi
nenj
e"
Me:
"mmmhuy
avuy
awena"

HenibbledmyearlobeIwasenjoyi
ngthisatt
ent
ionI
won'
tlie.
..
heent
winedhishandsint
omi nethenwe
bot
ht ouchedmybell
yonbothsides...

Hi
m:"
mom i
ssoexci
tedt
oseey
ou"
Me:
"ihopeshel
i
kesme"
Hi
m:"
shewi
l
llov
eyoubaby
"
Me:
"howdoy
oukn-
"thebabymov
ed!
:
D..
.:o
Hi
m:"
whatwast
hat
"?
Me:
"It
hink.
..
noman,
i
sn'
ti
ttooear
lyf
ort
hat
"?
o.
O
Thebabyki
ckedandIf
elti
thar
dthi
sti
me

Me:
"ohmyGod"
!
Hi
m:"
phi
ndaboy
"

Hebentdown, actuall
ykneel
edandputbot hhis
handsthere.
..Nothinghappened.Hepithi
sear
l
ist
ening:vnothing!Ipul
ledhim upsay
ohlalaonthe
bed

Hi
m:"
thatf
eel
sgood.
..
great
"
Me:
"say
stheper
sonwhohast
woki
dsal
ready
"
Hi
m:"
wel
lIwasneverr
eall
ytherewhent
heydi
dthei
r
f
ir
stmov
ements,
Iwasalwaystold"
Me:"
ncoo,
vi
lenana?Daddyf
elty
ouki
cki
ngf
ort
he
f
ir
stti
me"

Hewaswat
chi
ngme.
..
smi
l
ing.

Me:
"what
"
Hi
m:"
I'
m admi
ri
nghowy
ouador
ethi
sli
tt
lel
i
fei
nsi
de
y
ou,
thewayy
ouspeakt
ohi
m asi
fhehear
syou"
Me:
"hedoes"
Hi
m:"
Ilov
eyou,
forr
eal
.Il
ovey
ou"
Me:
"Iknow"

Ndathul
aadl
ookedatmyson..
.maybehemoved
becausewementi
onedhi
sgranny:
/?Idon'
tknow.

Ihadmyphoneandhi sphoneswithmeasIlayon
myback...
oneofhisphonesrangandhewasonthe
othersi
deofthesuit
e

Me:
"yhel
akhazot
hat
hal
ent
oyakhoi
yangxol
a"
Hi
m:"
uthi
yhel
akubankengok"
Me:
"kumnt
uwal
ephonei
ngxol
ayo"
:
v

Hecamebackandl
ookedatme,
Iwassmi
l
ingathi
m
wait
ingt
oseebauzokwenzani
..
.t
hephoneev
en
st
oppedringi
ng

Hi
m:"
kudal
andat
hiuy
agezakodwababe"
Me:
"ny
hani
?"
Hi
m:"
whowascal
l
ing"
?
Me:
"Idon'
tknow"
Hi
m:"
whydi
dn'
tyouchecki
t"
?
Me:"
am Igonnagetpai
d?CozImean,
I
'm noty
ourPA
kal
ok"

Hegotont
opofmeandni
bbl
edonmychi
n

Hi
m:"
sund'
gezel
ababe"
Me:
"ndenzi
wakuk'
thandaf
ondi
n"
Hi
m:"
mmhuzondenzal
atey
azwena"
Me:
"Idi
dn'
tpul
lyouont
opofmey
azkebabe"
Hi
m:"
buty
ouat
tract
edmeher
e"

Hebi tthecornerofmybot t
om l
i
pandfurt
heron
kissedme. .
.wekissedslowl
yandpassi
onat
elyt
hen
thisfl
ippenphoner angagai
n

Hi
m:"
X"
X:
"ndi
l
aphakwaRj
sbr
a"
Hi
m:"
gimme10mi
nut
essan"
X:
"shot
"

Hehungupandsmi
ledashegotof
fme.
..
hewor
e
hi
sshoesandt
ookonl
ythetab.

Me:
"andt
hese"
Hi
m:"
thosear
eyour
sfornow"
Me:
"babedon'
tst
artwhaty
ouwon'
tbeabl
etof
ini
sh"
Hi
m:"
I'
m nothi
dingany
thi
ngkey
az.
..
plsf
orwar
dany
cal
lregar
dingbusi
nesst
othi
snumberneh"
Me:
"mmhkay
"

Helef
t...Itookhisphones,
al
lofthem..
.Aboutnine
:oIknowt here'
smor emaybezishi
yeki
leeKapai f
noteJozi.Ipagedthrougheachandeveryone:v:v
l
olhaysukai i
messagesezil
aphaazinaj
uice-_
-

Onephoner
ang.
..

Me:
"Beast
'
sphonehel
l
o"
Ki
l
la:
"i
phi
lent
wana"
Me:
"Theowneri
snotar
oundbutIcant
akea
message"
Ki
l
la:
"tel
lhi
mI'
m war
ninghi
m..
.hemust
n'tst
epon
mytoes"
Me:
"r
ogert
hat
"
Ki
l
la:
"good"
Thenhehungup. ..Oh-
kay:/Icont
inuedwithmy
di
ggingbuthaysanaandakuf ouninaloChuma
webhongongokundi mnxanelwekangaka.SowhenI
wastir
edIjustputthem asi
deandl ayther
edoi
ng
nothi
ngandwai t
ingforhim.
[
10/
9,19:
49]‪+27730692704‬:
#194

Ical
ledubhey
ibhi
wam wakwaTitus:
DIneededl
a
voi
cetomakemehappynjeekancaneman

Hi
m:"
sthandwaset
hu"
Me:
"bhey
ibhi
,howar
eyou"
Hi
m:"
I'
m gr
eatnt
wanay
am wena"
Me:
"I
'm super
..
.canIshar
easecr
etwi
thy
ou"
Hi
m:"
onl
yifi
tsnotdeadl
y"
Me:
"yourgodsonki
ckedt
oday
"
Hi
m:"
whaaat
?Ohmyf
li
ppenGaddaf
i!
!Howdoesi
t
f
eel
"?
Me:
"Ist
il
lcan'
tbel
i
evei
t.
..
"
Hi
m:"
uphi
utabeast
"
Me:
"ebekhona,
buthe'
soutnow"
Hi
m:"
yhobr
a..
.CanIshar
esomet
hingwi
thy
ou"
?
Me:
"haha!What
"?
Hi
m:"Iboughthi
m Adi
dassneaker
ssi
zeonel
o
umncinci
"
Me:"
whaaaa?Ohmywor
dyou'
rei
nsane!Uy
oze
azi
nxi
benini
"?
Him:
"theyl
ookedsocut
eIcoul
dn'
tj
ustpasswhenI
sawthem,I
'
m sureev
enthebi
gguywil
llov
ethem"
Me:
"t
akeapi
cundt
humel
elekal
okChom"
Hi
m:"
Iwi
l
l.
..
hehwet
huakasemhl
euLi
zzy
"
Me:
"wher
edi
dyouseeher
"?
Him:
"Iwentwi
thdadt
oCor
rect
ional
Ser
vices
ndambona"
Me:
"bendv
il
engeouy
akhe"
Hi
m:"
souzani
nieKapa"
Me:
"Idon'
tknow.
..
may
bei
nJunecozIhav
etosee
myparent
s"
Hi
m:"whynott
hisweek?I
'
m bor
edhereandy
our
br
other
-i
n-l
awswantmetofl
ytoDur
ban"
Me:
"yhoboyI
'
minEl
fondi
n"
Hi
m:"
doi
ngwhat
"?
Me:
"accompany
ingbaeuzobonaumamakhe"
Him:"
ohwow, soy
ou'
rereadytomeethi
smom
al
ready?Phofwhyam Ievenaski
ngcozyou'
re
carr
yinghi
sseed"
Me:"
hahanomandon'
tdomelikethat
..
.I
'
m onl
yhere
cozSinomi
ssedmeandwe'
resleepi
ngatahotel
"
Hi
m:"
hismom agr
eedt
othat
"?
Me:"
yesoncondi
ti
ont
hatImeethert
omor
rowshe
wantst
oseeme"
Hi
m:"
aha!Kal
oky
ou'
ret
henewmakot
ifr
iend"
Me:"
I'
m notamakot
iman..
.hewethu,
how'
sthenew
chi
ck?Whenam Imeet
ingher"?
Him:"
she'
sgreat
..
.St
il
lgroundedandshy
..
.y
oursee
herwhenyoucomethisside"
Me:
"I
'm happyf
oryoubhey
ibhi
man,
soar
eyougoi
ng
t
oDurbsorwhat"
Him:"It
hinkI'l
ldoj
ustthatcozIcan'
tdealwi
thCT
ri
ghtnow. .
.ndi
zobal
ixel
egulenxi
l
aifIspendt
his
holi
dayhere"
Me:
"wel
lIhopeawy
eli
justt
ogetdr
unknakul
o
Dur
bansani
"

Helaughed:v:vwell
wehadal ongeasyandl
i
ght
conver
sati
onaboutev er
ything.Baecamebackwhile
Iwasstil
lonthephonewi thSoso,hecametokiss
mylipsngokundthethay
o: vIlaughedandmumbled

Me:
"Sosoumnt
uwam ukhonaIhav
etogo"
Him:
"woooohakanamonay
ijel
l
ykel
owo,
nguy
elo
ukuv
alaumlomongok"
Me:"hahaha!Iwon'
tbet
her
ewhenhet
rampsy
ouke
sana"
Him:"
haysukatchi
n,
tel
lhi
myou'
renothi
sal
one.
Peopl
eshallshar
efondi
n"
-
Me:
"babyut
hiuSosopeopl
eshal
lshar
e"
Hi
m:"
mxel
eleuphambene"
Soso:
"yhondi
mki
l
e"
Me:
"It
oldy
ouuzo-
"

Hehungup:
vSoso?How?

Me:
"howwast
hemeet
ing"
Hi
m:"
progr
essi
veIbel
i
eve"
Me:
"Ki
l
lacal
l
ed"
Hi
m:"
uthi
ni"
Me:
"ut
hihe'
swar
ningy
ounott
ost
eponhi
stoes"
Hi
m:"makaphol
e..
.sosokwenzani
cozIdon'
twanna
sl
eepjusty
et"
Me:"
well.
.Youcoul
drubmyf
eet
,massagemyback
andsingforme"
Hi
m:"
haysozekel
eyocul
aIoutngebai
l
"
Me:
"t
hendomyf
eet
"
Hi
m:"
whati
fIwannadoy
ou,
noty
ourf
eet
"
Me:"
we'll
..
.t
hatwil
ldependonhowgoody oudmy
f
eet.Igott
at r
usty
ouwi t
htheLi
lthi
ngsbefor
eIcan
t
rustyouwi t
hsomethingsobi
g"
Hi
m:"
mmh"

Isatonthecouchandputbot
hmyf
eetonhi
s
l
ap..
.andofcozherubbedt
hem.

-
-
Fol
l
owi
ngmor
ning.
..

Wewokeupandor
der
edbr
eakf
ast
..
.At
ewhi
l
ein
bedthenwewenttobat
htogether
,wedidmorethan
bathi
ngcozwewereint
hereformorethantwo
hours>_<whenwecameout,
Iwashungr yal
lov
er
againandhewant
edtonap:o

Me:
"whatt
imewegoi
ngt
oyourmom"
Hi
m:"
luncht
ime"
Me:
"t
hatmeanswecannap"
Hi
m:"
nguwel
oundozel
i
say
o"
Me:
"pl
ease"

Ijoi
nedhiminbedf
oranhour30minut
est
henI
wokeupandwenttofi
nishof
fwhatwehadlef
tof
thatbr
eakfast
.

Kuhl
ecal
l
edme.
..

Me:
"Kay
"
Hi
m:"
hey
,ushar
p"
Me:
"I
'm cool
,
you"
Hi
m:"
I'
m gr
eat
..
.Ihearni
seMont
i"
Me:
"yeah"
Hi
m:"
oledyi
ssoexci
tedy
ouknow"
Me:
"yhoandsoy
iki
kemna"
Him:"don'
tstr
essyour
sel
fshe'
snotadi
ff
icul
t
person,j
ustbeyour
sel
f"
Me:
"t
hankshey
"
Hi
m:"
uphi
ubr
a,I
'
vebeencal
l
inghi
m"
Me:
"he'
snappi
ng,
any
thi
ngur
gent
"?
Hi
m:"
no.
..
justaskhi
mtocal
lmeov
ukakwakhe"
Me:
"nopr
obs"
Hi
m:"
enj
oyy
ourdayneh"
Me:
"yout
oosi
r"

Hehungup.
..
Baewokeupandcamebehi
ndt
hatcouchki
ssi
ng
mycheek

Me:
"howdi
dyougett
henameBeastwheny
ou'
reso
l
ovi
ngandr
omanti
c"
Hi
m:"
ont
hef
iel
dIbecomeadi
ff
erentper
son"
Me:
"why
"
Hi
m:"
li
fe"

Thenhecamet
osi
tnextt
ome.
..
wandi
j
onga

Me:
"what
"
Hi
m:"
ify
ouwer
en'
tpr
egnantIwoul
dshowy
ouacl
i
p"
Me:
"khandboni
sebabe"
Hi
m:"
Idon'
twannal
ooset
hisbaby
"
Me:
"Ipr
omi
seIwon'
tfr
eakout
"
Him:"
itsnotupt
oyou,
youremot
ions..f
orgetIsai
d
anyt
hing,
whatarewehavi
ngndi
l
ambi l
e"
Me:"
let
'sgoout.
..
I'
m sur
ether
ear
eacoupl
eof
f
ranchi
sesatthemall"
Hi
m:"
nxi
bakesi
hambe"

Igotupandwentt
ogetdr
essed.
.

Me:
"baby
"
Hi
m:"
yow"
Me:"shoul
dIsomagetdr
essedforthel
unchwi
th
yourmom sosphi
ndasbuyetochange"
Hi
m:"
asi
zobuy
a"
Me:
"sho"

Iworeblackri
ppedjeans:vor angehigh-
lowpeplum
topwithpeachplat
form heelsthenIpackedsli
ppers
i
nt hebackforwhenIgett i
red..
.If
ixedmynewhai r
:Dputonper f
umeandputal lmyphonesi nt
hebag
wangenawandi j
ongainthatadmi ri
ngway
Hi
m:"
awsesexynj
ekodwauy
obonaumazal
a"
Me:
"am Isupposedt
owearadoekorsomet
hing"
Hi
m:"
mh.
hm ur
ightt
hewayy
ouar
e"
Me:
"nxi
bakenawe"
Hi
m:"
ndi
grandl
ewaymna"

Ilookedathim andshookmyhead...
uyagulaifhe
thinkshe'
sgoinganywherewithmedressedl i
kethat
:oIt ookouthi
sbagandl ookedt
hrough..
.every
thi
ng
i
sbl acknje:
(

Hi
m:"
khangel
ant
onl
ovi
e"
Me:
"you'
renotgoi
ngwi
thmedr
essedl
i
ket
hat
"
Hi
m:"
okayIcanchangeat
ee.
..
not
hingel
se"

Hewasweari
ngbl
ackj
eans,
bl
ackloosef
itt
ingtee
,gol
dchai
nso.
Oandpar
abel
um shoes-_
-black!
Tshi
n!
Igavehi m hi
sTimbsandat i
ghtbl
ackmuscl e
reveali
ngv -
neckT-shi
rtwi
thonegol
dchain
ndazifakakulebagzonkeezi
nye.
Withouthesi
tat
ion
hest art
eddressi
ng

Hi
m:"
you'
repr
act
ici
ngbei
ngmywi
fenow"
Me:
"pl
ayi
ng"
Hi
m:"
khasondel
e"

Iwentcl
oserandheki
ssedme,
Ismi
l
edandmov
ed
back

Me:
"sambeuboywant
sacar
amel
icecr
eam"
Hi
m:"
thi
sboyi
sgonnahav
easweett
oot
h"
Me:
"i
twi
l
lhel
phi
m wi
tht
hel
adi
es"
Hi
m:"
heee"
Lol weleftandstart
edatsteerssatya,Isuggest
ed
webuyacoupl eofthingssi
ncei t
smyf ir
stti
me
goingthereandkekukhonanabant wanawecan' t
reall
ywal kinemptyhandedt henweheadedt ohis
home: Dy hoindlukamamakhebr az:odoy ouknow
amassi oni nanotsov er
ysurbubar ea?Itdraws
attenti
onlawei andontopofittherewer edogs:)bi
g
healthyhappydogsmanIwasr emindedofMrSmi t
h
andhi sfarmingmates

Hi
m:"
sif
iki
l
e"
Me:
"It
hinkI
'
m ner
vousbabe"
Hi
m:"
breat
h,shewi
l
llov
eyou"

:
)okay
..
.t
hisi
sthemoment
!
[
10/
9,19:
50]‪+27730692704‬:
#195

Wewalkedoutwal
ki
nghandi
nhand,
wit
hthose
shoppi
ngbags
Me:
"baby
"
Hi
m:"
rel
axl
ove"
Me:
"ndoy
ikamna"

Heturnedandst
oppedi
nfrontofme,l
i
ftedmychi
n
upIhadtofacehi
m heki
ssedmylipsli
ghtl
y
br
ushing

Him:"
ifshedoesn'
tl
ikeyou,
she'
l
llov
eyouandi
fshe
doesn'
tthenit
sherloss"
Me:
"yhobaby
"
Hi
m:"
nowl
et'
sgoi
n,
phol
a"

:
vphol a?Weknockedandwalkedi
nandshecame
smili
ngwi thexci
tement:
Dwehuggedandkissed
thenshet ookmyhandandledmetotheloungewe
satont hesamecouch
Her:
"Nt
andokhasenzel
ei-
teather
e'sat
inoff
reshl
y
bakedcooki
esphezul
uekhabhati
ni"
Hi
m:"
ndi
fi
kanj
emama"
Her
:"
ingabi
str
ongoboy
,unj
ani
nont
ombi
"
Me:
"ndi
phi
l
il
emamaunj
ani
wena"
Her
:"
ndi
yaphi
l
anam,
yhuawsemhl
e..
.usi
noebet
shi
l
o
baumhl
e"

Ibl
ushed

Her
:"
ungumamni
kesi
si"

That'
showwest artedt heconversat
ionkebraz:D
baebroughttheteaandcooki essancokola
i
sdala,Si
noandOwecamei nsendiphayaapparent
ly
theyweretakenoutbyoneofNt ando'sguys,t
he
excit
ementont heirfaces?Sinothroughoutthe
l
unchwasonmyl apsi bukanaandchat t
ingthen
wheni twasl
ateronintheaft
ernoonwepreparedto
go.Ifoll
owedNtandotothekit
chencozIwantedu
Sinoahambenat hi
sothatIcouldcal
lhermother
azombonaumnt anakhe

Hi
m:"
youl
ookt
roubl
ed"
Me:
"bendbawel
asi
hambenoSi
no"
Hi
m:"
besi
ngenozomt
hat
hangomso"
Me:
"hai
bobabewhy
"
Hi
m:"
you'
l
lsee"
Me:
"butkeepinmi
ndAnel
i
sawant
stosee
umntanakhe"
Hi
m:"
Iknowbabyanduzomf
umanaIpr
omi
sey
ou"
Me:
"kay
"

Il
efthimther
eandwentt
ojoi
nhi
smom si
ncokol
e
keisdal
asento.
Hecamebackandsatnextt
ome

Her
:"
uzophi
ndauzondi
bonani
nikengoksi
si"
Me:
"andi
yazmama,
xhomekekeKut
atakaOwe"
Her
:"
yhooo!Uy
anqabakel
oumnt
u"
Hi
m:"
hehhai
kengok"
Her
:"
nihambani
niubuy
elaeRhawt
ini
"
Hi
m:'
'nextweek,
anduhm,
ngomsoscel
auzusi
bol
eke
usi
no"
Her
:"
akhongxaki
,
kudal
aekukhumbul
anay
e"

Webidourgoodby
esthenwel
eft
,safi
kakwi
hot
el
andIwentt
obath:vhecamet
owat chme:o

Me:
"you'
renotbat
hing"
Hi
m:"
lat
er,
ri
ghtnowIwannawat
chy
ou"
Me:
"heeebabeugr
and"
Hi
m:"babedoyouknowthatIdon'
tusual
l
yhave
t
ime,
yououghttoappr
eci
atethi
sLilt
imeI'
m maki
ng
f
oryou"
Me:
"Iappr
eci
atei
tlov
ieqhawenauy
aybaxakal
ok"
Him:"whenI
'mreal
l
ybusyyouwil
lev
enl ongf
or
okukuyi
baxast
handwasam..
.nowpl
s,come
out,
lemmedryyou"
:
p

Icameoutf ull
off oam andhandedhi mt het owel
smi l
i
ng,hewasser iousnotev enahi ntofasmi lebut
whenhewi pedmyst omachhesmi l
edal i
tt
le,nohe
didn'
tsmile.Ther ewasahi ntofbri
ght nessinhi s
eye,t
herewasj ustsomespar kl
i
ngl i
ghti nhis
eyes..
.somet hi
ngIcoul dn'
treal
lyexplain.Hewi ped
medr yEVERYWHEREt hentookmyhandandl edme
tothebedr oom Isatdownandwai tedf or
i
nst r
ucti
on...
her emov edapinkdressf rom asui tbag
andgav eittome
Hi
m:"
iboughty
out
hisf
ort
oni
ght
"
Me:
"oh,
wecel
ebr
ati
ngsomet
hing"
Hi
m:"
somet
hingl
i
ket
hat
"
Me:
"oh-
kay
"

Itookthedressandchosethesexi
estofall
li
ngeri
es
thatIownthenIstar
tedwithmymakeupashewent
toshower.
..Hisphonerang:oIpi
ckeditup,
pri
vat
e
call

Me:
"hel
l
o"
Her
:"
hi.
..
canIspeakt
oMrNt
andoNt
abeni
"
Me:
"he'
snotav
ail
abl
eatt
hemomentbutIcant
akea
message"
Her:
"plsaskhi
mtocall
Candi
cef
rom Jobur
g
hospit
al,
it
squi
teur
gent"
Me:
"oh.
..
mindi
fIaskwhomi
ghtbei
nvol
vedi
nthi
s
ur
gency
"
Her:
"hi
sson,
Owentandohewasi
nvol
vedi
nasev
ere
acci
dentear
li
ert
oday"
Me:
"okayt
hanksf
ori
nfor
mingus_
"
Her
:"
thanky
ouv
erymuchma'
am"

Ihungupandr
emov ednal
ojewelr
y,knowingNtando
si
ngahambaasinnowubuyelakul
oJo' burg.
.He
cameoutandl
ookedatsurpr
isedthatIwasn'teven
cl
osetobei
ngready

Hi
m:"
thoughty
ou'
dbedone"
Me:
"er
h..
."
Hi
m:"
sup"
Me:"Candi
cef
rom Jo'
bur
ghospi
tal
askedy
out
ocal
l
herback"
Hi
m:"
ohsuka.
..
khawnxi
besi
hambebabe"
Me:
"hai
boNt
ando"
Hi
m:"
lov
e,t
rustme..
.getr
eadyl
et'
sgobef
oreour
t
abl
egetstaken"

:
oreal
l
y?

Ihesi
tant
lygotdr
essed:(howcanhebesocool
aboutthi
s?Hissonnogal?
[
10/
9,19:
50]‪+27730692704‬:
#196

Whenwewer edonewel ockedt heroom andl eft

,he
drovetoGrazia'
sandwewer et akent oourtable
safi
kasahlal
aandourf ir
stmeal wasbr oughtt ous..
.
Icouldn'
teat,
somethingwasn'taddingup.UOwel o
si
mshi yakul
oNt andoufi
kenini eJo'bur
g?Nguban
l
oCandi ce?

Hi
m:"
you'
redi
str
act
ed"
Me:
"what
'sgoi
ngon?Who'
sCandi
ce"
Hi
m:"
for
getaboutt
hatbaby
"
Me:"
nobabybesi
thewe'
renothav
ingsecr
etes
bet
weenus"
him:"
Iknow,butthi
sisj
ustnonsensi
cal
sodon'
tput
yourmindintoit
"

Il
ookedathi
mforalongti
me..
.heknewwhatwas
up.
..
hewasn'
tgonnatel
lmeqha.

me:
"bani
uCandi
ce"
?
Hi
m:"
fri
endkaChuma"
Me:
"oh.
..Chumadi
dn'
ttel
lhery
ouhav
eOwent
ando"
Hi
m:"
Idon'
tknow.
..
canwenott
alkaboutt
hem now"
?
Me:
"deal
.
.nowwhatar
ewecel
ebr
ati
ng"

Hesmil
edandignoredmewat yaif
irstcour
se..
.I
l
aughedneh,
cozIknewhe'sgonnal etmebeghi mto
t
alk.Wehadaourli
ghtmeal wit
hlightconver
sation
t
henhesuggestedwegooutandwat chthewav es
:Dsowewalkedtogetherhand-
in-
handandst oodby
ther
ankswatchingthewav
es.
..
wewer
ebot
hint
he
zoneforsomereason:v

Hi
m:"
I'
m ser
iousaboutusy
ouknowt
hat
,r
ight
"
Me:
"yes"
Him:"
andIknowyousaidy ou'
renotreadyfor
anyt
hingser
iousj
usty
et..
.Iwon'tpush,
I'
ll
waitfor
you"
Me:
"enkosi
babe"
Hi
m:"
soasmycommi
tmentt
ous,
Iboughty
out
his"

Heremovedasmallboxf
rom hi
spocketanhanded
i
ttome..
.Iopenedi
tandmar
veledati
tsbeaut
y

Me:
"apr
omi
ser
ing"
?
Hi
m:"
yes"
Me:"wow.
..
it
sbeaut
if
ul,
cel
auy
fakengokwakhoke
babe"
Hi
m:"
wit
hpl
easur
e"

Igav
ehi
m myr
ighthandway
ifaka:
D

Hi
m: "
thi
sismypromisetoalways
pr
otect,
l
ove,
cher
ishandencouragey
ouatal
lti
mes"
Me:
"Il
ovey
ou"
Hi
m: "
Iknow.
..
andIwanty
out
opr
omi
semeone
t
hing"
Me:
"any
thi
ng"
Hi
m:"t
haty
ou'
l
ltakecar
eofourchi
l
d,nomat
ter
what
"
Me:
"Il
ovef
orhi
m..
.Ipr
omi
se"

Het ookmetohi sar

msandweshar edthemost
passionat
ekisswe'veevershar
edinourdating
l
ife,
thenhewalkedmei nsi
deandwehadt hemain
courseanddessertgqi
basagoduka.Whenwe
reachedthehotelwewentstrai
ghtt
ot hebedroom
,heslowlyremov edt hedr essandl eftmest anding
halfnaked.Her emov edt hebr astr
apsandki ssed
me,weki ssedadhel aymeont hebed.Af terthat
,I
wasal lhi
s..
.hedidwhat everthatpleasedhi m and
madesur eIwassat i
sf i
edi nthatprocesst henwe
cuddled.Ifel
lasleepi nhisarmsandwokeupi nhi
s
arms,hewassmi li
ngdownatme. .
.Isti
lldon't
understandhowhecanbeabeastwhenhe' sso
war m andlovi
ngwi thmeandmostpr obablywithall
hisexes.

Me:
"mor
ning"
Hi
m:"
mor
ning,
howdi
dyousl
eep"
Me:
"l
ikeababy
,you"
Hi
m:"
li
keani
nfant
"

Hekissedt
heti
pmynose,
Itookmyphoneandsaw
messagesfr
om Anel
i
sa

Me:
"whatt
imear
eyouf
etchi
ngSi
no"
Hi
m:"
aft
erwe'
vehadbr
eakf
ast
"

Ical
l
edAnel
i
sa.
..

Her
:"
hel
l
o"
Me:
"hi
,
uri
ght
"
Her
:"
I'
m okay
,you"
Me:
"I
'm gr
eat
..
.y
oucancomef
etchherbyl
unch
t
ime"
Her
:"
oht
hanky
ou.
..
thanky
ouv
erymuch"
Me:
"you'
remostwel
come"
Her
:"
seey
oul
ater
”
Me:
"shar
p"

-
Wehungup. .
.IknewNtandowasgonnasay
somethi
ngsondav el
andaphakamaandwenttothe
bat
hroom ndabuyaashewasopeningthedoorf
or
room ser vi
cebr i
ngingusbr eakfastIsatinbedand
crossedmyl egswai ting.
..
howImi ssedmymom, my
biol
ogi calmom.ThewayAnel isawaswi t
hher
daught ersomehowr emindedmeofmyown
mot her,t
hought herei snotmucht ol i
nkthe
similarit
iesbuthey: /Isatther
easki ngmy selfal
ot
ofquest ions,wouldIhav eevenmetNt andoifshe
wasst illal
ive?Woul dsheev enallowmet odatehim
l
etal onegetpr egnantf orhim.
..

Hi
m:"
babeur
ight
"
Me:
"yeah"

Wandi jonga.
..Igotupandwenttodri
nkwat er
ndabuy aandsatdown. ..
Ist
art
edeati
nginsilence.
Hel ookedatmeanddi dn'
tsayany
thi
ng,I
'm surehe
thoughti t
ssomet hingt
odowi t
hNeli
sacozi twas
afterthecallthatIzoomedint
othi
squietmouse.

Isatt
her
ethi
nki
ng.
..
aft
erIwasf
ini
sheat
ing,
Il
ooked
athi
m.WhywasChumasohunguponhi
m?Whati
s
i
tthatIdon'
tknowaboutt
hem?

Me:
"canIasky
ousomet
hing"
Hi
m:"
yeah"
Me:
"doy
oust
il
lhav
efeel
i
ngsf
orher
"
Hi
m:"
who"
Me:
"Chuma"
Hi
m:"
no"

Iwei
ghedthe'
no'di
dn'
thavemuchwei
ght
,t
her
ewas
somethi
nghewasn'
ttel
l
ingme

Me:
"t
henwhat
'sgoi
ngon"
Hi
m:"
Idon'
tknow,
butIt
oldy
out
oignor
eher
"
Me:"
Iwantt
ounder
standwhyshe'
ssohungupon
you"
Hi
m:"
beat
sme"
Me:"
youboughthert
hathouseinCT?Thecar
?And
what?t
hephonesshe'susi
ng"
Hi
m:"
Ionl
yboughtt
hem t
hehousecozofOwe"
Me:
"t
hecar
"?
Hi
m:"
Ihav
enoi
deahowshegott
hat
"
Me:
"babyIhopey
ou'
ret
ell
i
ngmet
het
rut
h"

Wat
hul
a..
.
Whatdoessi
l
encemeankanene?Concer
nri
ght
?
Okay
.

Me:"
okayl
etmerephr
asethequest
ion,
yint
on
osay
enzel
auChumaev ennowthatwe'
redati
ng"
Hi
m:"
yho"
Me:
"j
ustbehonestokay
"
Hi
m:"Ierhm..
.Okaybabeungacaphukikeut
heuf
una
i
nyanisothat
'swhatI'
m gonnagiv
ey ou"
Me:
"enkosi
"
Him:"
Ipaymai nt
enancesuppor
tkaOwe, Iset
tl
ethei
r
housebill
sandev er
yendoftheyearIsendthem on
anallexpensespaidhol
i
day"
Me:
"mmmh"
Hi
m:"
ther
eyouhav
eit
"
Me:
"why
"
Hi
m:"
Idon'
tknow.
..
Iguesskuqhel
a"
Me:
"ooh.
..
butnowt
hatI
'
m her
e,y
ouwi
l
lhav
etost
op"
Hi
m:"
why
"
Me:"why?Howwouldyouf eel
ifmyexwoul
dbuyme
expensi
veweaves,
shoes,
handbags,
make-
upand
paymyholiday
swhileukhonawena"
Him:"
itsnotl
i
kethatthough,
I
'm notbuy
ingher
anyt
hingI'
mjustsecuri
ngahomet heyli
vein"
Me:"samediff
erence.
..
ezaboii
bil
lsIguessev
en
i
ncludegrocer
ies,
mnaezam bill
swill
havetobe
weav eskal
oksowhatdi f
fer
encedoesitmake?"
Hi
m:"
oh"
Me:
"Iknowy
ouhav
emoney
,Iknowt
hatay
ivakal
il
e
uy
ini
kauChumabutt hi
sisn'
taboutmoney
,i
tsabout
moral
s,
boundar
ies"
Hi
m:"
ndi
yakuv
ababe"
Me:"
Ihopeso..
.cozthi
sist
hesamereasonwhyshe
can'
tl
etyougo,nguweusamboni
sathatyoust
il
lcar
e.
Shewon'tgetamancozuy ay
azshe'
sgotyou"
Hi
m:"
hai
kengokbabe"
Me:"i
tsthetr
uthandwebot hknowit
..
.orkwawena
uyambanga,Iknowthugs,
rememberyousentmet o
doresearchkaloksoIki
ndadoknowhowy ourt
ri
cks
work"
Hi
m:"
babekhay
eke"
Me:"
fondi
nIcan'twast
emyt i
mewi thsomeone
who'sst
il
lhunguponhisex,t
wo-ti
mingme..Ineedt
o
knowandfeelthatI
'
mi narel
ati
onshipnot
i
sit
hembu"
Him:
"butbabeyou'
rebl
owi
ngt
hisoutofpr
opor
ti
on
youknowthat,
ri
ght
"?
Me:
"baby,
all
I'
m sayi
ngst
opsponsor
ingChumawith
money,
ify
oudon'tknowwhatt
odowi t
hitzi
khonai
i
chari
ti
esandneedypeople,
sheisworkingI
'
m sur
e
shecanaffor
dallt
hesethingsonherownANDshe' s
notyourr
esponsi
bil
it
yunlessther
e'ssomethi
ngI
'm
missi
ng"

Wathula.
..Iwentt
obat
hndabuy
aandsatont
hat
bedplayi
ngwi t
hmyphone

Hi
m:"
awuzoy
ashoppi
ng"
Me:
"no,
I
'm spendi
ngmydayi
ndoor
s"
Hi
m:"
babe"
Me:
"mh"
Hi
m:"
I'
m gl
ady
ouspokeoutngal
ewaykaChuma"
Me:
"mmh"
Hi
m:"
..
.oh-
kay
,l
emmegof
etchSi
noneh"
Me:
"kay
"

Heki
ssedmyl
i
psanl
eft
..
.Ical
l
edSoso
Hi
m:"
hel
l
o"

Sososay
inghel
l
o?Naah.
..

Me:
"hi
..
.canIspeakt
oSoso"
Hi
m:"
speaki
ngwhat
'
sup"
Me:
"Landi
l
endcel
ausosobr
a"
Him:"t
houghty
ouwoul
dn'
tnot
ice.
..
Sosoi
sin
Durban"
Me:
"hel
efthi
sphone"
?
Him:"no,
hiscall
sdi
ver
ttomi
newhenhe'
s
unreachable"
Me:
"oohokayshar
p"
Hi
m:"
Tri
na"
Me:
"mmh"
Hi
m:"i
tsni
cehear
ingy
ourv
oiceagai
n,
Iseeni
se
cl
osenoSoso"
Me:"
he'st
heki
ndaf
ri
endI
'
dkeepev
eni
nmy
af
ter
li
fe"
Hi
m:"
atl
eastoneofushasbr
ainsneh"
Me:
"sel
fpi
tydoesn'
tsui
tyou"
Hi
m:"
ngul
i
febr
a"

If
eltsorr
yforhim..
.OrIneededsomeonet
otal
kto
myself
?Idon'tknow.

Me:"
you'
retooyoungt
ocomplainaboutl
if
e,sety
our
mindri
ghtgety
ouractst
rai
ghtandrevi
seyour
goal
s"
Hi
m:"
youmakei
tsoundeasy
"
Me:
"i
tshoul
dbexauzi
xel
eleyouwannadoit
,noone
i
sgonnahel
pyoui
fyoucan'thel
pyour
sel
f"

Wat
hul
a..
..
Me:
"Ihav
etogo"
Hi
m:"
thanky
ou.
..
Ineededt
oheart
hat
"
Me:
"sur
e"

Wehungup..Il
ayonmybackt hi
nki
ng:/whenmy
mindst
art
sworkingi
tneverst
opsunti
litget
sal
lthe
answer
sit
slooki
ngfor.
[
10/
9,19:
51]‪+27730692704‬:
#197

Isearchedforanyofhi
sphonesandf
oundt
he
secondpersonalphoneandcal
l
edChuma

Her
:"
baby
"
Me:
"unobabyonguNt
andouqal
ani
ni"
Her
:"
oohmxm!Uf
unant
oni
"
Me:
"hav
eyounoshame?Howcany ouusey ourchi
l
d
t
ogettoaman?Where'
syoursel
f-
respect
"?
Her
:"
whatIdowi
thmychi
l
ddoesn'
tconcer
nyouso
phumaki
misi
si"
Me:
"youneedt
obecookedagai
n,
you'
resor
awand
t
ast
eless"
Her
:"
suphambanel
akum nt
ombi
ndi
ni"
Me: "
mamel akenono..
.Idon'
tknowwhatgoesonin
thatchickenbr
ainofyoursbutuhm,canyoupl
sgeta
l
ife?Getaman?Getbusymanandst opbei
nga
nuisanceinmyr el
ati
onshi
pokay"?
Her:
"I
'm bei
nganui
sance?Yay
azi
Inui
sanceba
nguwe"
Me:
"t
hiswasn'
tmeantt
obeadial
ogueke
mar
ara,
gett
hemessageandgetal
if
eofyourown"
Her
:"
upha-
"
Me:"
youdon'
twannaseemexandi
phambeneso
don'
tevenment
iont
hatwor
d"

ThenIhungupandor deredanicecream str

awber
ry
fl
avoredndat
y ainwaiti
ngforNt ando..
.LoChumais
real
l
ygetti
ngonmyner ves.It
ookNt ando'sl
apt
op
andopened..
.Icheckedhisemails..
.f
rom abr
oadand
f
rom ar
ound,
mostlywer
ebusinessr
elat
edr
egar
ding
t
helegi
tandshadybusi
nesses.

Iwasl ookingf orsomet hing. .

..
thoughIaccept edthat
promi sering,Iwasn'teasyaboutanyoft his
especi al
lywheni tcamet ot hisChumachar acter.
ThenIcont inuedscr oll
ingr eachi ngtoemai lsoff i
ve
four sy earsago- _-Iwasbey onddet ermined.AsI
wasaboutt ogiveupandcl oset helaptopIsawa
folderwr i
tten"Dov e"jongauDov esy ifuner
al parl
our
kalokuf unant onikwi fi
leszi kaNt ando?Iopenedi t
andr eadt hrough..
.Att heendIf oundanewspaper
articleofamanwhowasr unov erbyacarandl ef
t
ther et odiei nagony...Ireadt hrought hatarti
cleand
proceededt oeverythingt hatbel owi t.

Myf i
ndings?:oChumawast hedri
ver.
..
butNt ando
cover
edf orher,hecal
ledinfavorssoshewoul dn't
gotojail
,Ihadthewhol eproofatthetipofmyt humb
andyouknowwhat ?AsmuchasIknewt hatNt ando
i
sgettingnotif
icati
onsofwhatI '
mv iewingIjust
conti
nuedandtransf
eredtheinfoi
ntomy
fl
ash,
saveditandsecureditwit
halockcode.

Iconti
nuedv i
ewingt hesef i
l
esandev encontinued
gett
ingdi r
tonChuma. .
AndAnel isa:vakholochance
xasendif
umeneel it
hubal obonaezi zi
ntozinzulu
kangaka.WhenIwasdoneIputmyf lashinmy
bag,r
eplacedt helaptopt oitsri
ghtfulplace
ndagqibezelaiicecream yam ndaphol aaphaent l
oko
cozIknewv erywel lthatshewasgonnacomeaf t
er
mewhenNt andof r
eezesal lthesemoni eshewas
sponsoringherwi th.

Her et
urnedwithhisdaughter
,shewassoexcit
ed
though:DhowIwi shshewasn' tgonnal
eaveno
NinabutIcouldn'
treal
lystophercoztheyr
eall
y
neededthisbondingti
me.

Heputhersmall
travel
i
ngbagontheluggage
r
ack,
tookhisl
aptop,
openedi
tandwentthroughi
t
wi
thoutsay
ingaword:vIknewitmos,
itshisl
apt
op
andheknewexact lywhatIwasdoingther
esoIwas
chil
l
ed,akazondi
buzaibusibhal
i
wemna.Whenhe
wasdonedoi ngwhateverhewasdoinghetookhi
s
tabl
et,
kissedmeandSi nothenwentout,
well
I
assumedhewentt otheothersideoft
hesuit

Her
:"
mamaIwantmeat
"
Me:
"mmh,
askdaddyt
oor
dermeatf
ory
ou"
Her
:"
da-y
hoIt
hinkhe'
sgoneout
"
Me:
"l
emmecal
lhi
m"

Idi
aledhi
snumber.
..

Hi
m:"
babe"
Me:
"uSi
noaphucel
aumt
hengel
einy
ama"
Hi
m:"
ordersomet
hingf
rom t
hehot
elr
est
aur
ant
"
Me:
"ooh,
youdi
dn'
tev
ent
ell
usuy
aphi
"
Hi
m:'
'
ndi
laphaar
oundbabe"
Me:
"mmkay
"
Hi
m:"
whydoy
ousoundsuspi
ci
ousofme"
Me:"
naah,
I
'l
lgi
vey
out
hebenef
itoft
hedoubt
st
handwasam"
Hi
m:"
kay
..
.ndi
zobuy
alat
eronwhenI
'
m doneokay
"
Me:
"shar
p"

Iorderedmeat,
chicken,formeandbeeff orsinoand
weat ewithbr
ead...Herbiol
ogical mom call
ed,I
dir
ectedhertothehot el
andtoldherwe' l
l meetat
MuggandBeani nmal lt
henIcl eanedSi
noup, made
sureshehasev er
y t
hingthenIgav eherR200not es
forpocketmoneyokoencumi l
ekengok.Whenwe
reachedMuggandBeanAnel isawasal r
eady
there.
..
act
uall
ySinosawherf irst

Her
:"
mama,
nankuAnel
i
sa"
Me:
"uzot
hat
hawena"
Her
:"
andi
funi
mnamama,
ndi
funauhl
alanaweno
t
ata.
..
okany
eket
akemebackt
omakhul
u"

:
oheh?
[
10/
9,19:
51]‪+27730692704‬:
#198

Me:
"ssh"

Weappr
oachedhermom,shecameupandhugged
bot
hofusthenwesatdown

Her
:"I
zakumamasi no,
yhoandsakukhumbul
i
mntanam..
.enkosi
sisi
"
Me:
"i
tsnopr
obl
em dear
"

Si
nowasst
uckonmel
i
kesupergl
ueonshoes.
.

Me:
"i
yakumam baby
"
Her
:"
angomamal
o"
Me:
"si
no"
Her
:"
kushoy
enanj
emama,
andi
thi
Anel
i
sa"
?

Wellshewasinati
ghtcornerandIwasn'
treal
l
y
gonnapushherasi
fIalsodon'twanther

Aneli
sal ookedatme. ..Il
ookeddown,Iam notreal
ly
experi
encedwi thkidskalokandIwasn'ttherewhen
shetoldherchildakangomamaunguAnel i
saand
myinstinctsaidIshoul dj
ustupandleave,notget
tooinvolvedkulemot her-
daught
erfeudbutIcouldn't
l
eaveSi nolikethat:
(myhear twouldn'
tletme

Me:
"nana,
i
za,
l
ookatme"

Shet
urnedandl
ookedatme
Her
:"
mamaIdon'
twantt
ogowi
thher
"
Me:"
okay,
li
sten..
.j
usthavel
unchwit
hher,gooutand
l
etherspoi
ly outhenI'
l
lcomefet
chy ouuzol
ala
nam"
Her
:"
buty
oumustcomet
oo"

Ilookedathermom :
/thi
swasget
ti
ngal
i
ttl
emor
e
thanawkwardnow

Nel
i
sa:
"i
tsokay
"
Me:
"noit
snot ,
youneedt
ospendt
imewi
thy
our
Chi
l
d,uhl
alaphi
"?
Her
:"
I'
m atGar
denCour
thot
elr
ightnow"
Me: "
welli
tsasisterhotel
tothisone,i
nqui
ref
rom t
he
recepti
onistmaybetheycant r
ansferyouher
e
withouthassl
estheny oucanspendt imewit
hyour
daughterduri
ngthedayndi mthathekelat
e"
Her
:"
okay.
..
uhm,cel
auzameuthet
hanay
etor
hoI
'
ll
j
ustgotothehotel
ndi
buzepha"
Me:
"sur
e"

Shegotup.
..
lookedatSinosor
rowfull
ythenlef
t,
felt
l
ikeshewasashamedorsomet hing.Isatsi
noright
i
nf r
ontofmeandl ookedheri
ntheey e

Me:
"nana"
Her
:"
Iwantdaddy
"
Me:
"okayI
'
llcal
lhi
m"

Ical
ledNtando.
..
don'tknowwhetherthi
sisagood
i
deaorwhat ,
butthi
swasal soachancetoseeif
Ntandoreal
lyhat
esAnel i
saorkudl
alwangengqondo
yam nj
engalei
nguChuma.

Hi
m:"
lov
e"
Me:
"uphi
"
Hi
m:"
I'
m onmywayt
other
oom"
Me:
"pl
easet
urnback,
comet
oMuggandBean"
Hi
m:"
oh-
kay
"

Ihungup

Me:
"he'
scomi
ng"
Her
:"
cany
oupl
sbuymeacake"

Ical
ledawaitress,
orderedacarrotcakeformysel
f
andachocolatecakef orher,
sat
yawhi l
ewaiti
ngfor
Ntando.
..
heappearedbef oreAneli
sa,hesatdown
andatefrom mycake,sinowentt osi
tonhislap.
..
it
wasclearshewasn'thappyatall.

Hi
m:"
what
'sgoi
ngon"
Me:
"Si
nodoesn'
twannagowi
thhermom"
Hi
m:"
I'
m notsur
pri
sed"
Me:
"dude"
Hi
m:"
whaat
"?
Me:"t
hischi
ldneedstobondwi
thhermot
her
,don'
t
supporti
ntoengekhoy
oapha"
Hi
m:"
butbabeuAnel
i
sabr
oughtt
hisal
ltoher
sel
f"
Me:
"mxm"

Wat
hul
awaj
ongai
ntombi
yakhe.
..

Hi
m:"
babe"
Her
:"
daddy
"
Him:
"yourmom j
ustwannaspendsomet
imewi
th
you"
Her
:"
daddyIwantmakhul
uma"
Him:"
I'
ll
takey
out
oheraf
tery
ou'
vespentadaywi
th
yourmom"
Her
:"
andi
funi
"
Hi
m:"
Sinot
hando"
Her
:"
ha.
adaddyI
'
m notgoi
ngwi
thher
,mamat
ell
hi
m"
Hi
m:"
okay
,okay
..
.t
ell
mewhy
"

Wal
i
la.
..

Her:
"she'
sgonnaleavemeagai
n,
Idon'
twantt
ogo
wit
hherdaddytchini
"

:
(helookedatme..
.Idi
dn'
tknowwhattosay,
Iwas
cl
osetocryi
ngcozthiswasjustt
opai
nful
evenfor
me.

Me:"
Uhm,IsuggestedAneli
saacel
etobetransf
ered
tot
hishotel
sot hatshecanspendti
mewi t
hSino
dur
ingthedaythenambuy i
sel
ekuthil
ate"
Him:"
you'
reki
ddi
ng.
..UsnoAnel
i
sai
nthesame
hotel
?Heh"!
Me:"
foronceNtando,j
ustt
hisonceputy
ouregoand
whatsoev
erthataccompaniesi
tasi
deandthi
nkof
whatt
hisi
sdoi
ngt
oyourdaught
er"
Hi
m:"
S'bongi
l
e,mydaught
eri
sri
ghtwher
eshei
sno
mama"
Me:"mxm,ift
hiswasChumawe'
retal
ki
ngabout
ngekudal
awav uma.
..
masambeSi
no"

Shegotof
fherf
atheraandwal
kedoutwi
thme,
I
fol
l
owedtowhereAneli
sawentt
oandbumpedont
o
her

Me:
"howdi
ditgo"
?
Her:
"t
heysentf
orsomeonet
ofet
chmyl
uggage,
Igot
aroom.Thankyou"
Me:"
you'
rewel
come..
.It
hinkwehavetotaket
his
sl
ow..
.I
'l
lbewi
thy'
al
lfortodayi
fyoudon'
tmind"
Her
:"
notatal
l
"
Me:
"nana.
..
wher
emustwegot
ofi
rst
"?
Si
no:
"you'
recomi
ngwi
thusnehmama"
?
Inod
Si
no:
"Let
'spl
aygamest
hen"
Me:
"t
henwe'
regoi
ngdownst
air
s"

Aneli
sawasallsmi
les,
weallmakemist
akesandI'
m
quit
ecert
ainshewasregr
ett
ingsomeofherchoi
ces
ri
ghtnow.
[
10/
9,19:
52]‪+27730692704‬:
#199

Wewentt othegamesectionandplayed
games,
ridi
ngonscooter
sandchasi ng/r
aci
ngcar
s.
Whenwewer edonewewentt obuywithour
poi
nts,
Sinochoseadoll
..
.

Iwasfeeli
ngki
ndaguil
tyforwhatIsai
dtobaeyaz..
.
ThoughIwasdoingevery
thingf
orSinoIst
il
lfel
tli
ke
Iwasgoingagai
nstumntuwam andIdidn'
tli
kethat.
Notonebit.
SoIcall
edhim.
..
hopi
ngt
oseeorhearhowhef
eel
s
aboutwhatIdi
d

Hi
m:"
babe"
Me:
"babe,
ushar
p"
Hi
m:"
showena"
Me:
"uphi
"
Hi
m:"
sêr
oomi
nfondi
n"
Me:
"Iuhm,
Iwant
edt
oapol
ogi
zeaboutear
li
er"
Hi
m:"
whataboutear
li
er"
Me:
"whatIsai
daboutyouandyouknowwho.
..
I'
m
r
eal
l
ysorryman,IguessIwasj
ustt
ooover
whelmed"
Hi
m:"
sho"
Me:
"am If
orgi
ven"
?
Hi
m:"
we'
l
ltal
kwheny
our
etur
n"
Me:
"soI
'
m notf
orgi
ven"
Him:"y
ou'reforgi
venngenxakaThandobutl
i
keI
sai
d,sothethaxaubuyi
le"
Me:
"okay
..
.baby
"?
Hi
m:"
mh'
'
?
Me:
"Il
ovey
ou,
okay
"
Hi
m:"
Iknowt
hat
"
Me:
"good.
..
byeby
e"
Hi
m:"
bet
terbeher
efordi
nner
"
Me:
"er
h..
.Okay
"

Wahl eka..
.okay,calldi
dn'tgoasIhadhopedbutke
atleasthesay shefor gi
vesmebecauseofhi s
daught erandI '
m gratefulf
orthatcozitshowshe
recognizest hatIwasdoi ngtherightt
hingngonceda
uSi no..
.notsosur engoncedauni nake.
Whenwewer edonewithEVERYTHI
NGthatshehad
pl
annedtodowithherdaught
erSi
nosai
dshe's
hungr
y..
.

Neli
sa:"
wecangr
ababi
tebef
orey
out
wogobackt
o
yourroom"
Me:"
I'
m sor
ry.
..Nt
andowant
sust
ohav
edi
nnerwi
th
hi
m"
Nel
i
sa:
"ohokay
,Si
no"
Her
:"
Nel
i
sa"
Nel
i
sa:
"t
hanky
ouf
ort
oday
"

Shesmi
l
edandt
heyhugged

Si
no:
"mamasi
zot
yaneh"
?
Me:
"yeahbutsot
yanodaddy
"
Si
no:
"ohai
keAnel
i
sasi
yahambat
hina"
:
v
Nel
i
sa:
"rai
ncheckt
hen"
Me:
"sur
e"

Wewal kedbacktothehotel,
andpart
edourway sas
weheadedt ooursepar
ater ooms.Iwasanxiouske
cozNtandonormallyf
orgi
v esevenonthephone
akangomntuot
sal
aizi
ntoxaet
handabutnow.
..:
vI
wasnervousman!

Iknocked

Heopened,ki
ssedmycheek,t
ookhi sdaughteri
nhis
armsandheadedtotheloungesidewahlalaont he
couchmakingconver
sat
ionwithhisdaughterand
sureenoughSinot
oldhi
m every
thingasIwentt o
fr
eshenupandwor ePJsndabuyabesancokol a
behleka

Hi
m:"
sowhatar
eweeat
ingmama"
Me:
"Idon'
tknow.
..
Sinot
hando"
?
Her
:"
any
thi
ngwi
thmeatnehdaddy
"
Hi
m:"
yesbaby
,mamasi
cel
auor
deukut
ya"

It
ookthemenuandlookedforsomethi
ngthatwi
l
l
besui
tabl
eforal
lofus,
Ior
deredroast
edlamb
chops,r
iceandveggiesforNtando,
Chicken
curr
y,mashedpotatoesandGr eeksal
adf ormy
sel
f
andbeefstewonpapf orSi
no.

Hi
m:"
babepl
saddhotchi
pskul
oor
der
"

Iaddedezochi pszakhe,ext
ralargewazot henI
orderedchocolatemil
kshakeforSi noandt wojui
ces
forus..
.Iknewwehav eteainourroom justincase
ndiyonqenenalejui
ce..
.t
henIwentt oj
ointhem whil
e
waiti
ngf orourfoodtocomet hrough.

Hi
m:"
hadf
un"
Me:
"Si
nodi
d"
Hi
m:"
Iknow,
ndi
buzawenamna"
Me:
"wel
l
..
..
"
Si
no:
"mamaAnel
i
sasai
dwe'
l
ldoi
tagai
nneh"
?
Me:
"ur
h..
shedi
d"?
Sino:
"yesheeeumama!Socanwegooutagai
nwi
th
hertomorrow"?

Il
ookedatNtando:
/hel
ookedatme,wai
ti
ngforan
answerandsomehowIf
eltl
i
kehedidn'
twantmeto
dothi
s

Me:
"uhm,Iwon'
tbeabl
eto.
..
Ihav
esomet
hing
i
mportantt
odotomorr
owmyl ove"
Her
:"
yhookay
"
Hi
m:"
buty
oucangowi
thheri
fyouwantt
o"
Her
:"
nyhani
daddy
"?
Him:
"yeah.
..
I'
m sur
eshewant
stospendsome
qual
i
tytimewithyout
oo"
Her
:"
okay
..
.t
hanky
ou"
Hi
m:"
thankwho"
?
Her
:"
thanky
out
atam noNt
ando"
Heki ssedhernose, Iheardaknockandwentt o
open,ourf oodwasher e.
..
Itippedt hegirlandtook
ourfoodt henwedi ned.Ntandowaskeepi ngmeon
myt oes,hewasn' tsayingany thingthatIwas
expectingunt ilwef ini
shedeat ing..
.Si
nochanged
i
ntoPJsandwentt obed,Istay edbehindi nthe
l
oungeashet uckedheri n.HecamebackasIwas
j
ustsmi l
ingatmyownl i
ttl
ebundl eofjoy ..
heli
ft
ed
myf eetandputt hem onhi slapwandi jonga
encumi lenay e.

Hi
m:"
he'
sgr
owi
ng"
Me:
"gr
aci
ousl
y"
Hi
m:"
..
.so,
howwast
oday
"
Me:
"pr
ett
ygoodImustsay
"
Hi
m:"
mmh,
souzenzauMcGy
verngok"
Me:
"Mc-
who?Who'
sthat
"?
Hi
m:"
uzenzai
star
ri
ngkwi
mov
iey
amagwej
ababe"
Me:
"ndenzeni
lov
elei
rongo"
?
Him:"si
dingwithAnel
isa?Ment i
oningChumain
ever
yconv ersat
ionwehav e?AndImustsay ,I
'm
real
l
ysur pri
sedcozyouwer etherewhenAneli
sa
dumpedsi nokoThril
l
ery ety ou'
residi
ngwit
hher
ngathiyou'
regivi
ngherapatont hebackassome
congratul
ati
onsorsomet hing"

Okay
..
.

Me:
"canIsaysomet
hingbabe"
Hi
m: "
ima,Iknowy ouweredoi
ngthi
sforSinoandI
l
ovey ouf
orthat.Butdi
dy out
akeastepbackto
t
hink?Thi
nkaboutt hepr
ecauti
ons"
?

Ndat
hul
a..

Him:"
we'r
enotfight
ing,
we' r
enotargui
ng,we'r
ejust
tal
ki
ngsomasithethe..
.helpmeorrathercorr
ectme
i
fI'
m wrongbutIdon'trecally
ouandAnel i
saorany
ofmyexesforthatmat terbei
ngfr
iends.Idon'
tsee
i
t,
it
snotpossi
ble"

Iwassuddenl
ydumb.
..
y'
al
lhav
enocl
ue:
o

Hi
m:"
S'bongi
l
e"
Me:
"baby
"
Hi
m:"
helpmeouther
e,whatam Idoi
ngwrong?Don'
t
ment
ionChuma,
wesortedthatoneout
"
Me:
"I
..
.Idon'
tknow"
Him:"
thenwhydoyouchoosenott
oli
stentome?
Shoul
dItakethi
sasatest
?Khandxel
elebaby
"
Me:"
Ithought.
..Okay..
.Like,
IthoughtIwasdoi
ngt
he
ri
ghtt
hingfory ourdaughterthoughIknewver
ywel
l
howyouf eel
abouthermot her"
Hi
m:"
kal
okt
ell
mewhatam Idoi
ngwr
ong"
Me:
"akhont
o"
Hi
m:"
okay
"
Cwakaemv akoko..
.Isatther
e,notknowi ngwhether
Iwasr i
ghtforwhatIdidforSinoorwr ong,hay
andiyaznyhanishame.Itookmyphonesandheaded
tobed,Igotinndazamaulala.
..
atleastAnelisawil
l
sleeppeaceful
lynowthatshesawumnt anakheeven
i
fi twasjustasmallti
me.

Hi
m:"
uqumbi
l
e"
Me:
"no"
Him:
"mmh,I
'
m goi
ngout
..
.Idontknowwhatt
imeI
'
ll
beback"
Me:
"uy
aphi
"
Hi
m:"
Ihav
esomet
hingt
osor
twi
tht
hegent
s"
Me:"
Ithoughtt
hisweekwasf
orus,
nobusi
ness
i
nvol
ved"

Hebentdown,
ki
ssedSi
not
henme

Hi
m:"
lov
eyou"
Gqi
bawaphuma.Kaysho.

Ohkay
..
.

Itossedandtur nedcozIwasn'tsleepy,
cozmychi l
d
wasr estl
ess.
..hewaskickingsopainful
lyIev
enhad
tositupandr ubmyst omachsay ingsweetnothi
ngs
tothisli
tt
leguyi nt
here.
..Ntandowasonsome
sneakybusinessIswear .I
'veneverbeenli
kethis
whenhe' sout.Never.

Aftersomet imeIdeci dedtocallhi

m,thoughIknew
thattoowasn' tsaf
ebutIbel i
eveditcouldsavehis
l
ifeIhadt hisawfulfeeli
nghewasi ndangershame
andi twasn'tsomethingIcouldshakeof f
..
.t
hephone
rangt wotimesandcutof f
!Itr
iedagainandhe
pickedup

Hi
m:"
lov
ethi
sisn'
tar
ightt
ime"
Me:
"Iknow,
buty
ouhav
etocomeback"
Hi
m:"
what
"?
Me:"
you'
renotsafewhereyouare,
please,y
ouhav eto
comeback..
.l
ettheguysdealwi
thwhat soeveri
tit
s
Lenani
yenzayobutdon'
tgeti
nvolved"
Him:"y
hoS'bongil
e..
.l
ook,
Ipromi
sethiswon'
ttakea
wholenight
,I
'
llbethereevenbef
oreyouwakeup
ksasa"
Me:
"Ntandopleasedot
hisonet
hingf
orme,
please
doi
tforourson"
Hi
m:"
OhGodnott
his,
notnow"
Me:"
I'
m beggi
ngyou.
..
pleasebaby.Okayfi
ne,
you
don'
thavetocometothehotel
,j
ustgetoutofwher
e
youareri
ghtnow"

Wakhewat
hicwaka.
..

Hi
m:"
okay
,I
'm onmyway
"
Me:
"t
hanky
ou.
..
uhm,
babe"
Hi
m:"
huh"
Me:"
plsdon'
ttaket
hebl
ackr
oad,
fi
ndsomeot
her
pat
h"
Hi
m:"
okay
,nowcanwehangup"
Me:
"sho"

Ihungupandwentt omakemy selfherbaltea.

..
I
neededitsomuch.I namat t
erofmi nutesIsawt he
dooropeningandIwasont hecouchwi thmy
tea,
sti
llr
ubbingmybelly.Hewalkedinandcamet o
me, hesatonthecouchoppositemi neandcov ered
hisfacewithhishandsformorethanf i
v eminutes.I
j
ustconcentratedonmysoncozIknewNt andowi ll
thi
nkIonlycall
edhim cozIwasseeki ngattenti
on:/

Hi
m:"
youokay
"
Me:
"he'
srest
less"
Hi
m:"
uqal
eni
ni"
Me:
"anhourort
woaf
tery
oul
eft
"
Wat
hul
a..
.hi
sphoner
ang

Hi
m:"
Luxol
o"
Lux:
"br
a..
.t
hiswasaset
up"
Hi
m:"
whatdoy
oumeant
hiswasaset
up"
Lux:
"Idon'
tknow..
.theseguy
scameherel
ooki
ngf
or
you,
i
fbesingaxhobangawewouldhav
ebeendead
bynow"
Hi
m:"
hehkwedi
niut
hini
nah"

Scr
eechi
ngcar
s..
.shot
sfi
redandt
hen.Bam!

Thesignalcutoff
..
..Nt
andol
ookedatthephone,
put
i
tdownt henlookedatmequizzi
cal
l
y:/Iwas
conf
usedkancincikebyhisl
ook.
[
10/
9,19:
52]‪+27730692704‬:
#200
Wesati nthatsil
ence..
.mychil
dwasnotkicki
ng,he
wasj ustpositi
onedinapai nf
ulwaynearmyr i
bs,I
couldf eel
thisstingi
ngpainli
keihl
ababel
owt he
ri
bcageandIcl osedmyey esmakingasil
entprayer
thathemustr eposit
ionhimsel
fsomehowo. Oand
sitorlaynormal l
yIdon'tknowhey.
Seei
ngt hatakhont osiyi
ncokolayoIlefthi
mt her
e
i
mmedi atelyaft
erIfini
shedmyt ea,Il
ayonmyback
andrubbedmybel ly
,sl
owlythepai nwaseasing
now.
..Ihearshimt alki
ngont hephonef oralong
ti
met henheswi tchedofftheli
ghtandcamet othe
bedr
oom.
UNtando?Lolyhoheee.
..
inst
eadofcomi
ngtobed
hewentstr
aightt
otheshowerwavasaumnt
undade
ndal
ala.

Foll
owingmor ningIwokeupanhewasn' tin
bed,act
uallyhewasn' taroundatallbutIcoul
dsmel
l
hisscentsof reshinther oom.Icheckedtheti
me
thenIorderedf ull
continental
breakfastf
ortwowi
th
Extr
acer ealforSinothenIbat hed.WhenIwas
done,ourfoodcameandIbathedherdressedher
thenwedugi nsatya.
..
Imadesur eshewasfull
thenI
call
edNt ando:
/Ican'
tjustr
eleaseumntanakhe
withouttel
li
nghim

Hi
m:"
hel
l
o"
Me:
"Si
noi
sgoi
ngt
ohermom"
Hi
m:"
erh.
..
okay
..
.Okayakhopr
obl
em"
Me:
"sho"

Ihungup. .
.Icall
edAnelisaandwemetatr ecepti
on,I
gaveherumnt anakheandr eturnedbacktotheroom
fi
kandabuy elainbedndal al
acum.IguessIwas
repayingbackt hesleepIlostlastni
ght:vpayback
mnt anam!

Lat
eronIwaswokenupbySi
hle'
scal
l

Me:
"l
ow"
Hi
m:"
you'
reasl
eep?Mi
dday
"
Me:
"heyy
ou,
sup"
Hi
m:"
Imi
ssedy
ouIguess"
Me:
"aaw,
wher
e'smyot
herf
ri
end"
Hi
m:"
theywentswi
mmi
ng,
howar
eyou"
Me:
"I
'm gr
eat
..
.y
ou"
Hi
m:"
I'
m gr
eat
.Ar
eyousur
eyou'
reokay
"
Me:
"ndi
grandSi
hlemf
ethu"
Hi
m:"
oooh,
Iwasj
ustchecki
ng.
..
byeby
e"
Me:
"t
hanksf
rthecal
lvha"
Hi
m:"
any
time"

Wehungupj ustasbaewal kedi

nandcamet osi
t
nexttomei nbed,herubbedmybabybumpsof tl
yin
ci
rculat
ionmode. .
.somethi
ngwasbot her
inghim,I
couldtel
l.Hi
sey eswerebloodshotr
edandi twasn't
cute
Hi
m:"
thanky
ou"
Me:
"whathappened"
Hi
m:"
itwasaset
up,
forme"
Me:
"oh"

Idi
dn'
tknowwhatt
osay
..

SoIj ustkeptqui etandwai ted,

may bet here'
smor e
thathe'sgonnar evealorinquir
eIdon' tknow.ButI
waited..
.heal sojustsatthereandj ustr ubbedmy
bump, Il
iftedmyheadupandki ssedhi m.Hewas
hot..
.Iknewr ightthenthatsomet hingorr at
her
someonewasgonnadi e,
hisangerwasbey ond
controlandI '
m sur euqalekwi gent sfornotknowi ng
thattheywer esetupunt i
l t
heexactt i
me, whichis
may bet heydi dn'
tevendoar esear chbef orethey
agreedont hatdeal t
heywer eont o.

Me:
"pl
scal
m downneh"
Hi
m:"
I'
m cool
"
Me:
"buty
ourt
emper
atur
esay
ssomet
hingel
se"

Hesmi
ledandki
ssedme,
weki
ssedagai
nandagai
n
t
henst
opped.

Hi
m:"
I'
m st
il
lamazedathowdi
dyouknow"
Me:
"t
her
e'ssomet
hingt
heycal
lani
nst
inct
"
Hi
m:"
yho.
..
itwassoaccur
ate"
Me:
"i
tnev
erl
i
es"

Imadespaceforhi
m andhelaynexttome,
Ilaymy
headonhischestf
eel
ingandli
steni
ngtohi
s
hear
tbeat
.

Me:
"Il
ovey
ou"
Hi
m:"
Ilov
eyout
oo"
Me:
"Iknowi
tsy
ourl
i
fe,
whoy
ouar
eandal
lbutIdon'
t
wannal
oosey
ou"
Hi
m:"
babe"
Me:"
I'
m ser
iousNtando,Ican'
tl
ooseyou.Therear
e
somanywhati f
'sr
unninginmymi ndri
ghtnowandI
don'
twannaentert
ainthem buti
tshar
dnott o"

Hesatupr i
ghtandlookedatme...
okayIwas
tear
y,whatifIhadbrushedthef
eeli
ngasi de?Whati
f
hehasn'tl
istened?Whatift
his,
whatifthat?Ij
ust
coul
dn'tbrushthosequesti
onsasi
de,itwashard
mntakadad.

Hewipedmyt
ear
swi
thoutsay
ingawor
d,hi
smout
h
shut
..
.

Me:
"weshoul
dgo"
Hi
m:"we'
llgot
omor
rowev
eni
ng.
..Ihav
eonemor
e
t
hingtodo"
Me:
"ohNt
andot
ana"
Hi
m:"Ihavetoknowwho'sbehi
ndthi
s,
ifi
tsKi
l
laI
mustbracemy sel
fcozwhenhest
art
s
war
,batt
lef
iel
dbecomesourhome"
Me:
"yho"

Ij
ustturnedandf acedtheotherwayround,ndamaz
mosl omnt uli
gintsabutitsnotnat
uralt
omet o
acceptthatourl i
vesareal i
vi
ngwarzone..
.no,i
t'
snot
easymor esowhenNt andodoesn'
tevenhav ethe
charact
eristi
csofagangst awhenhe'shome.

Hi
m:"
I'
ll
prot
ecty
ou"
Me:
"i
tsnotl
i
key
ouhav
eachoi
cebaby
"

Hegotupandmadehi mselfdecafcoff
ee.
..Two
cupsthenhesatkul acomput ert
ableandgotbusy
onhislapt
op,allIcoul
dhearwasbut t
ons,
andaznal
e
tabl
etebeyi
thengelanicozhedoesn'tneeditv
ery
much.