In the Unexpected Future, We Grieve the Past

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/47097178.

Rating: General Audiences

Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: F/M
Fandom: Akatsuki no Yona | Yona of the Dawn
Relationship: Son Hak/Yona
Characters: Son Hak, Yona (Akatsuki no Yona), Yoon | Yun (Akatsuki no Yona), Kija
(Akatsuki no Yona), Jae-Ha (Akatsuki no Yona), Shin-Ah (Akatsuki no
Yona), Zeno (Akatsuki no Yona), Soo-Won (Akatsuki no Yona), Happy
Hungry Bunch (Akatsuki no Yona)
Additional Tags: Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Unresolved Emotional
Tension, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, One-Sided Attraction, Manga:
Akatsuki no Yona | Yona of the Dawn, Emotional Baggage, lots of
emotions, Can you tell?, Angst and Feels, Son Hak-centric, Son Hak
Being Son Hak, He's so stupid, Gotta love him though, Found Family,
author read manga chapter 125 and decided that Hak deserved a proper
therapy session, you will not argue with the author, the author is right,
Deku and Hak are giving me gray hairs, grumbles in I get way too
atattched to self sacrificing idiots, The Dark Dragon and the Happy
Hungry Bunch (Akatsuki no Yona), Alternate Universe - Canon
Divergence
Language: English
Series: Part 1 of I can't give Hak proper therapy so I give him hugs instead
Stats: Published: 2023-05-11 Words: 2,848 Chapters: 1/1
 In the Unexpected Future, We Grieve the Past
by AkaneEnaka33

Summary

"He reminisces on the past, a fragment of his shattered heart piercing his chest. With the
princesses' belongings tightly held in his grasp, Hak lingers in his grief and his regrets.

In the weight of it all, he drifts, and he sinks."

Or, the author saw Hak suffering in chapter 125 and decided to do something about it because
clearly he doesn't get enough comfort.

And the author doesn't like that.

Notes

[BASED OFF OF CHAPTER 125 OF THE MANGA]

I got introduced to a new fandom, and for once; got attached to the serious, deep voiced, Levi
from inquisitormaster type instead of the the soft boy type that I usually have an affinity
towards.

I also decided that Hak needs a proper hug. I mean, Kija literally goes on short tangents about
how m'boy gets really depresso espresso whenever Soo-Won is brought into the conversation,
and people often forget that although Yona went through a lot and lost so much, Hak was
betrayed too. Also I did wonder how the whole Hak falling (jumping???) into the river
situation was handled, and ended up writing this thing :]

SOOoO- yeah. I give him a proper hug through the Happy Hungry bunch. That's basically it.

(I am posting this instead of Happier update for this week because Yona of the Dawn brainrot
has literally been strangling me, so sorry not sorry, but I'm doing what makes me happy :) )

See the end of the work for more notes

Inspired by Even Now, My Heart Aches by sarcasm_and_bad_puns

 When the tree branch wavers and the small pouch tumbles loose, for a brief moment,
Hak wants to consider letting it fall. A small, selfish part of him wants to see it wash away in
the current, imagine that the hairpin will be lost to the river.

But it would not be fair to her.

He jumps in after it without a second thought, paying no mind to the voices that cry out
for him in a panic. The Thunder Beast won't be drowned out by a measly river, they should
know that.

In fact, they do know that. But even then... they worry.

It leaves a warm feeling imprinted on him amidst the complexity of his thoughts as he
plunges into the freezing waters, hand outstretched, blindly fumbling around. The hairpin
drags out the memory of a young Soo-Won, cheery and loving and kind, and turns it into one
of a traitor king standing before him, tainted by blood. His chest aches and a strange sense of
light-headedness settles in as he dives further down, and Hak is painfully aware that the
oxygen quickly escaping his lungs isn't the only culprit to blame.

Already stained by the murder of the king, Soo-Won was ready to be thoroughly soaked
by the murder of the princess. The hairpin is a mockery of what used to be and what could
have been, a parting gift from the future that will never be seen.

Ah. He feels the pouch brush against his fingertips, and reaches out.

There it is.

He hates the suppressed memories that resurge as he grabs it, deplores the thoughts, the
images, the questions that he knows will forever stay questions. He holds enmity to the pain
that bursts out from wherever it is that he's managed to shove it down, the resentment that
eats away at him from the inside out.

He reminisces on the past, a fragment of his shattered heart piercing his chest. With the
princesses' belongings tightly held in his grasp, Hak lingers in his grief and his regrets.

In the weight of it all, he drifts, and he sinks.

"Hak!"

Yoon and Kija scramble forward and watch him crash into the river, eyes wide and full
of worry. "Hak..." Yoon gulps, eyes flickering towards the rippling water, the current pulling
in all sorts of branches and sticks discarded by the trees. "Hak knows how to swim, right?"

"...I suppose he does." Jae-Ha shrugs, reassuring confidence coating his voice as he
looks to Yoon, his body still facing the river. Kija notes that he has his right leg forward,
ready to jump in should Hak take too long. "The current is strong, but I wouldn't worry too
much. I'm sure he'll be fine."

"Yeah..."

Jae-Ha is right, and for a moment, Yoon thinks that maybe it's a prank. Maybe the pouch
didn't actually fall, and it turns out Hak purposefully dropped it, the idiot just wanting to give
them all a proper scare. It sounds like something he would do. He can be tricky and plays
around quite often, known for his dry, sarcastic sense of humor.

But then again...

"Honestly, I wanna smash it."

Yoon recalls the sad, almost regretful resolve in Hak's eyes as he patted him on the head
and stepped forward, determined to get Yona's hairpin back. As comforting as it would be to
believe it, Yoon can easily tell that this is no practical joke. He shakes the thought away with
a nervous glance.

A moment passes. Nothing.

Zeno frowns, bright eyes furrowing with concern as he nudges Kija's shoulder. "Mister
hasn't resurfaced. It's been too long."

"I agree... Come- we need to find him!"

Kija rushes forward onto the ledge as Yoon follows at his heels, scanning the raging
river as well as the muddy bank surrounding it. "There!" He points out as Hak breaks through
the water, coughing at the rush of air that slams into his lungs. He bobs up and down in the
current, not floating, but not entirely sinking either. Everyone breathes a sigh of relief, the
tension in the air thinning out as they wait for their dark dragon to climb up and out of the
river with a triumphant grin.

It takes much too long for them to realize that it's not going to happen.

"Something's wrong." Shin-Ah mumbles, and in his ignorant relief, Yoon laughs. "The
Thunder Beast is taking a swim in a raging river, of course something's-!"

"No, look. He's not fighting it. He's stuck under the current."

He snaps his gaze back to where Hak should be, grabbing onto a rock, climbing out of
the rough water.

Instead, he looks just in time to watch Hak be pulled back under without as much as a
gasp. He isn't fighting the current, or even trying to. He makes no effort to stay above the
water as he's pushed further and further downstream, and Yoon goes frighteningly still at the
realization, breath caught in his throat.

For a horrible second, Yoon fears that he really might not know how to swim.
 He'll kill Hak for jumping in to grab that stupid pouch if that's the case. Of course, only
after they drag him out and he makes sure the man won't catch something idiotic like
hypothermia. Along with the dragons, Yona, and anyone else who's known Hak, Yoon is fully
aware of the thunder beast's devotion to anything regarding the Princess.

But this, this is just plain reckless.

Kija is the first to take action, pupils shrinking in a wild, panicked sense that urges him
to go, to protect. It's not the same feeling he gets when Yona needs help or is in danger, but
it's impulsive and terrifyingly strong nonetheless, because Hak, his brother, needs him.

He rushes along the edge of where the unstable ground becomes something like a cliff,
Yoon right at his heels as the rest of the dragons stay behind. Jae-Ha calls after them, warning
them that it's too unstable, that it'll be safer to go around instead.

The two ignore his warning, wanting nothing more than to simply act in the heat of the
moment.

Somewhere along the way a foot is misplaced, the distance and force miscalculated as
Yoon and Kija bump into each other, losing balance just as they reach the edge.

They unceremoniously fall into the river below with a screech.

Jae-Ha swears under his breath, pushing off the ground as soon as he sees it happen.
Idiots! He grumbles internally, panicked as he barks out to the remaining dragons. "Shin-Ah!
Zeno! Meet us a little further down the river, get ready to help us climb out!"

"Yes sir! Come on Seiryuu! Hurry, over there!"

Jae-Ha spots a flash of white and yellow below him, fighting to stay above the water and
reach Hak at the same time. Kija extends his dragon claw out, scales glinting in the sun as he
forces, claws his way closer to Hak and pulls him towards them. Hak seems to be safe in
Kija's hold, and Jae-Ha assumes he has some sort of grasp on Yoon underneath the water with
his other, non-powerful arm.

It isn't very secure though, as Yoon is almost swept away with a splash.

"Yoon!"

Jae-Ha lands in the water just in time to grab him with one arm as he uses the other to
stay afloat.

The current is much stronger than he anticipated, and it's pure luck that none of them
have been slammed into a tree branch or a boulder by now.

The boy holds on to Jae-Ha with a death grip, hacking out the mouthful of water he gets
for his troubles. "I'm fine-!" He's cut off by yet another wave that forces river water down his
throat, and he can't help but make a face at the unpleasant feeling that lingers. "Keep holding
on to me, you'll get swept away if you don't!" Yoon can only nod slightly as Jae-Ha reaches
out, focusing on the glimpse of white and pitch black somewhere in front of him.
 "Kija!"

"I got him, help me reach you!" His voice is partially drowned out by the crashing
rumble of water running, but Jae-Ha understands. He secures his grip around Yoon's middle
and lunges forward, using his leg to get as much force behind him as possible.

He grabs Kija by the arm, yanking him close.

"Make sure you don't let him go!" "I won't!"

A blur of yellow cries out to him from solid ground, and he looks up to find Shin-Ah
and Zeno waving to them, gesturing and pointing frantically to where the river is dragging
them, specifically one section of it.

A shallow end. If he can just get there...!

Jae-Ha kicks towards it, harder and harder until he feels the sand crunch against his
boots, and with a final push, they're out.

Kija screams and Yoon grips on to him as they crash land near the very edge of the river,
far enough that they no longer have to swim, but still close enough so that the water is
somewhere above their ankles.

Yoon and Jae-Ha land together, the green dragon having let go of Kija at some point
when they were flung into the air. "Hak-!" He scrambles up, looking for them as Shin-Ah
rushes towards him, helping the two pick themselves up.

Jae-Ha wavers slightly as he stands, relieved to find Kija and Hak a couple of feet away
being aided by Zeno. The white dragon turns to him with a huff and a weary smile, pushing
through the water. "We're okay... but that..." His face crumples slightly into that of a terrified
child, as he cries out.

"That was terrifying!! I don't want to do that again!"

Kija's fine, it seems.

"Eugh... I'd agree with that." Yoon spits out the texture of water mixed with sand and
dirt and Zeno laughs. "Well, it's your own fault Hakuryuu! You and Yoon fell into the river!"
"And I'd rather never do it again!" Kija sniffles lightly before snapping out of it as a dark blur
shifts in the corner of his eye, and he turns to face him. "Hak! You're alright? I didn't scratch
you by mistake, did I??"

He wordlessly shakes his head, pushing Zeno off of him as he stands with a slight
tremble, almost unnoticeable as he drags his feet through the water, trudging towards solid
ground.

"-Hak!!" Yoon calls after him, and he stops.

He can feel their worried gazes on his back, and right now, he doesn't really know what
to make of it.
 "Hak... we took a quick dip in the water, but you were under there for a while. I need to
make sure you weren't hit anywhere vital, and that you won't catch anything." "...I won't." He
holds up the pouch, and they gasp, having completely forgotten about it in their panicked
frenzy. "I got it. Let's just go back." He turns to keep moving, but is interrupted by the sound
of someone running through the water, firmly grabbing his arm.

"Follow me."

Yoon glares him down, and Hak does nothing but limply follow his lead as he makes his
way to the muddy bank. He doesn't know why he lets Yoon push him down, but he does,
despite the fact that overpowering him would be incredibly easy. Perhaps it's the fact that he
knows this is unavoidable, or the want to let them know that he's physically fine. Maybe it's a
mix of both.

He doesn't have the heart to even playfully fight back right now, so he doesn't.

It only makes the dragons and Yoon worry even more as they sit together in the damp
grass, catching their breath, watching as Yoon checks him over. He's spaced out the entire
time, staring off into some pocket of thought that comes from having saved a painful
memory.

The Thunder Beast is protective, stoic, serious. But not quiet. Never this quiet.

"Does anything hurt?" He shakes his head.

"The hairpin...?"

He doesn't respond, a pained look full of hurt and grief flickering in his eyes, and Yoon
understands.

This is Hak's pain, his way of hurting. Or... one of them at least.

He can't tell if it's better or worse than when he lashes out, because if angry and
provoked, he at least conveys some sense of distress. He gives them something to work with,
even if that includes having to hold him back from committing a crime he will never recover
from. If he'd gone through with it, Yoon knows Hak would never be at peace with himself.
He would never be the same.

But to see him like this... again, he can't tell if it's better or worse.

Hak doesn't talk about his feelings. He hasn't shown any interest in resolving the
emotional tension around his history with Soo-Won. The princess, yes, he mentions, confirms
that the princess loved the man who now sits on the throne of Kouka, that he betrayed and
trampled over her, that Soo-Won irreversibly hurt the person Hak loves most.

Yet he was cut just as deeply. Not in the same manner, but still in the same
circumstance.

They all seem to forget that sometimes.

 He has never admitted to his grief out loud, or directly, the only glimpses of it being
caught through his rage, the way his eyes darken when Soo-Won or the hairpin are
mentioned.

Yoon doesn't know how to heal this type of pain. There isn't a bandage or a medicine
strong enough to patch up this gaping, festering wound, and if there was, he would've already
been well on his way to find it.

Yet no such thing exists, and it never will.

Yoon leans back, studying the Thunder Beast's hollow, tormented expression; gaze fixed
on the lavender pouch in his lap.

He reaches out and plucks it from his hands, putting it aside and out of his vision. It
seems to trigger some sort of thought, because Hak finally looks up with something other
than sorrow. Confusion.

Yoon reaches forward with a sigh and wraps his arms around Hak's shoulders.

Zeno bounds over to join, and the rest of the dragons quickly follow. At first, Hak’s
body tenses. He tries, wants to squirm out of their grasp; and he should be able to. But he
doesn’t. They don’t let him.

“...We should go. The Princess- we need to get back to her.”

“We have time, Yona dear isn’t far.”

Eventually, Hak gives in and leans against them, willingly forced into their comfort as
they linger silently. They wait until his breathing slows, until his heart stops pounding and his
chest stops aching as horribly. It isn't much, and Shin-Ah and Zeno's clothes are definitely
going to be some level of soaked if they stay like this for much longer, but they don't care.

If this is all they can do, then they'll do it. And they plan to do it well.

"...If it bothers you this much, you can still leave it here. I wouldn't blame you."

"I do not agree with lying to our princess." "Kija."

"But I will let it slip if it's what Hak needs."

Jae-Ha hums his agreement, and Shin-Ah only pulls Hak closer, the soft fur piece that
drapes over his head tickling his shoulder. Even with them backing him up, it still won't sit
right with him if he does whatever he wants with the hairpin, so he shakes his head, and that
seems to be enough.

"Well," Yoon breathes, breaking the silence once more. "If that's what the thunder beast
wants."

It takes a short while, but eventually, Hak shifts back and pulls himself up, the signal
that he's ready to keep going. The group mentions nothing of it, watching as he picks up the
pouch. Still with a bit of a resigned look, but he has a faint smile tugging at his lips, so they'll
count that as a win.

"Ah, we need to think of a story! I don't think it's a good idea to tell the Miss that the lad
and Hakuryuu fell into the river." "And definitely not that Hak almost drowned." "Or that I
had to jump in and save you all with my impeccable strength-?" "Real humble, Jae-Ha."

He laughs as they walk up a narrow path that will lead them back to Yona and their
campsite, Yoon and the dragons indulging in their normal antics as Hak stays silent for a
while; eventually jabbing back at them for their carelessness. He doesn't seem as
disheartened, and the hollowness in his eyes has faded into something a little more dull,
something that leaves room for silent gratitude in normalcy.

Yoon plans to reprimand Hak for worrying them, but he'll do it later.

Right now, he's just happy to see Hak being himself again.

"You all played around in the water??"

Yoon, Kija, Jae-Ha and Hak look up at Yona as Zeno snickers from behind them, and
Shin-Ah slightly tilts his head.

"...Yeah."
End Notes

Huge thanks to @sarcasm_and_bad_puns lady for dragging me into YotD <3

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOR LISTENING TO MY RAMBLES AND BRAINROTTING

WITH ME AND I COULDN'T BE MORE GRATEFUL TO HAVE YOU AS MY BEST
FRIEND <3333 YOU'RE SO TALENTED AND WONDERFUL AND YOU SUPPORT MY
LITTLE ANGSTY HAK SHENANIGANS/OBSESSION AND I HOPE YOU ENJOYED
<33333

THIS FANFIC IS PARTIALLY DEDICATED TO YOU LOL, ONLY PARTIALLY

BECAUSE YOU'RE SHARING IT WITH HAK.

(In other words it is entirely dedicated to you hbjhqebcbec)

(ALSO YES I AM AWARE THIS FIC ISNT ENTIRELY ACCURATE BUT LISTEN. I
WANTED ZENO AND SHIN-AH’S PRESCENCE OKAY???)

Please drop by the Archive and comment to let the creator know if you enjoyed their work!