Essay Writing Information Sheet 1 (ESL 96)

Read and annotate the following information carefully:

To do well in your essay: There are the important aspects (You get scored on them.):

1. Understanding of the passage: Do you get the most important points (the main idea
and most of the related points)?

2. Connection: In the essay, do you talk about these most important points of the
passage - the main idea and the related points?

You can agree or disagree with any of these points, but if you start talking about
something else such as women having more disadvantages compared with men, then
you are off the topic - not what the passage is about - Being off the topic a clear sign of
a weak essay.

3. Expansion (development of ideas): Did you expand on these important points with
your own observation and experience? (Personal examples are great! But making up
examples and pretending they are real doesn’t usually work. We can often tell they are
fake and they are usually not interesting to read.) Or, do you just basically repeat the
same points with different words? - Simply repeatingthe important ideas without
expansion is another clear sign of a weak essay.

4. Organization of ideas and paragraphs: Ideas and paragraphs go smoothly, clearly,

and logically from one to the other.

5. Write with clearsentences, andvocabulary (Vocabulary doesn’t have to be fancy with

big words, but clear and simple is better. A lot of students run into trouble by trying to use big
words that sound important. When we read and write more, it’ll come naturally to us to use
more vocabulary, but don’t force it – even the famous American writer Ernest Hemingway wrote
with very simple sentences and words, so why do we have to use fancy words?) and clean
grammar.

Also, when you write, don’t stop at every sentence to think about grammar because it’ll
stop your flow of thoughts and make you stuck. When you practice grammar a lot, your
sentences come out cleaner, and do make sure you give yourself some time to
proofread your writing before submitting your essay.

Now, more details about the first 4 aspects:

1. Connection:

When professors read your essays, they look to see if your essay is connected to the
passage’s most important points. These points are the main idea and related points
that you are supposed to get. I totally agree because I get low score on my
connection relate points

The most important points for “It’s Not Easy Being Male”

In response to the writing assignment, present these ideas from the text in a
summary.

Those of you who receive a good score (by demonstratingan adequate

understanding of the complexity of the ideas in the reading passage) usually
refer to the following points:

 Main idea:

Although in general men enjoy more advantages for being male, they
also have some disadvantages(You can either agree or disagree with that idea.
You just have to talk about it.) Yes
I agree. Because there are many
disadvantages of being a male, especially in social view.

 Related (or supporting) points:

1) A man’s identity lies in his work (You probably know what“identity” means,
but it may help to check your dictionary to see EXACTLY what “identity” means so you
 have more words and ideas to help you bring out your own ideas and personal
observation.)

2) The pressure to make money may interfere with the development of

other roles and skills(Professors will look to see if you talk about all the above
points in your essay to determine if you get the passage well and, again, it doesn’t matter
if you agree or disagree with these points.)

Additional points that may be mentioned(It’s not the end of the

world if your essay doesn’t talk about the additional points – you CAN still get a
good grade, but it will certainly help!)

3) The man is pushed toward the world of employment to pay the basic
bills of the family; Agree!

4) Because our culture expects a man to earn money, he may feel that
his salary is connected to his self-esteem. Agree!

2. Expansion

In your writing courses, professors may use different terms such as“development,”
“elaboration” of your ideas, or “give details or specifics,” or even “showing, not telling.”
These are somewhat “standard” ways of saying things. By the way, we use those terms
also and they are all related closely to “expansion.”

In our course, “expansion” is what we are going to use to convey the idea that you
need to provide more details tofill out these important ideas, i.e., main and related
points, so they get “expanded” without you getting off the topic.You expandon these
important ideas with your own explanation and with examples fromyour experience or
the experience of someone you know, or from a book you’ve read, or a show you
watched. Yes, your personal examples help.
 Make sure your expansion doesn’t get off the topic. In the essay you wrote, for
example, you don’t want to start talking about how women have too many
disadvantages compared with men and how unfair our society is! (Some students wrote
more than half of the essay on such unfairness!) You might be right and professors may
agree with you, but your essay will GET OFF THE TOPIC! Those off-the-topic details
can make your essay really weak because theyare not part of the author’s important
points or concernsin the passage (refer to the important points above). – There will be
more about expansion later.

3. Organization: How the essay goes from beginning to end.

Here is a simple and efficient way to organize your essay in a “timed”

situation.

1. Whole-essay organization:

(First paragraph: Introduction)

(Maybe some background information to begin the introduction.)

1. Summary of the main idea and the most important related points.

2. Thesis statement – usually at the end of the paragraph, after the summary - (Needs to be
connected to the passage’s main idea).

In the essay you just wrote, you need to write a thesis stating your opinion about “men also
have disadvantages” because it’s the main idea of the passage. (You can be for, against, or
partially for or against the author’s main idea according to whatever you believe.)

It’s best to state your honest opinions because when a student tries to say things that he or
she doesn’t really believe, the writing won’t have a lot of ideas and the ideas usually are not
very good.

First body paragraph

a) 1st topic sentence at the beginning of the paragraph (usually). It’s your first main idea (not the
author’s) of the body paragraph: Here it’s often a good idea(but you don’t always have to do
that) to talk about one of the author’s supporting points – In this case: men’s identity is in
their work;
 b) Explanation followed by one or more examples: You expand onyour topic with your
explanation, clarification, examples, etc.;

c) It’s usually good to make a comment to conclude the body paragraph.

Second body paragraph

a) 2ndtopic sentence at the beginning of the paragraph (usually). It’s your first main idea (not the
author’s) of the body paragraph: Here it’s often a good idea (but you don’t always have to do
that) to talk about one of the author’s supporting points – In this case: men’s identity is in
their work;

b) Explanation followed by one or more examples: You expand on your topic with your
explanation, clarification, examples, etc.;

c) It’s usually good to make a comment to conclude the body paragraph.

Third body paragraph (Optional - Two body are ok, as long as you have a lot of details (expansion) in the two.)

a) 3nd topic sentence at the beginning of the paragraph (usually). It’s your first main idea (not
the author’s) of the body paragraph: Here it’s often a good idea (but you don’t always have to
do that) to talk about one of the author’s supporting points – In this case: men’s identity is in
their work;

b) Explanation followed by one or more examples: You expand on your topic with your
explanation, clarification, examples, etc.;

c) It’s usually good to make a comment to conclude the body paragraph.

(Conclusion)
Summarize your own main points and maybe write your takeaway(s).

Very good information.