C A U T IO N A R Y T AL E S FO R

C H IL D R E N

D e s ign e d A dm om tion Ch il
dren b e t w een
’

f or th e of

th e age s of eigh t an d f o urt e en y ears .

H BELL O C
.

L O N D O N

T HE EV E LE GH I N AS H C O M PA N Y
 IN T R O D U C T IO N

U po n b e ing as! e d by a R e ade r w h e t h er the

v e rse s c o nt a ine d in t h is bo o ! we re t ru e .

A nd is it T r ue It i n o t Tr u s e
.

d nd f it we re it wou ldn t do
’

F p eop le u e/
or m a nd y
r z as e ou

l p re tty nearly all d y lo ng

o a

doing m tlng ra t/er w r o ng

'

A
'

re so e u z .

Be ca u e y tnng we re reall
r
'

s
yz s so,

wou ld h v p / d lo ng g
'

Y ou a e erzJ ze a o,

A nd I wou ld n t h v liv d to w rit o a e e e

Th n oole lin e til

e a t mee t you r n t
r
‘
/z ,

N or B T B u rviv ed to dra w
. . . s

T/ n ice t tn
ze lng y u ve r
s w : o e sa .

H B
. .
 C A U T ION A R Y TA LES FOR C H ILDREN

J1 m ,
a w ay f rom 6 1 s N u rs e,
’

ra n wa s

ea ten o a L i on
y .

T h ere was a Boy w hose name w as J im

H is F riends w ere very g o od to him .

T hey gave hi m Tea and ,

C akes ,
and J am ,

And slices of deli c ious H am ,

And C hocolate with pin k inside .

And l i ttle T ricy c les to ride ,

And
 C A U T ION AR Y T AL ES

read h i m S tor i es thr o ugh and th rough ,

And even took h i m to the ! oo

But there i t was the dreadful Fate

R efel hi m which
, I now relate .

—
Y ou know at leas t you oug z t / to k n ow ,

F or I have often told you so

That C hildren never are allowed

T o leave thei r N ur s es i n a C rowd !
 FOR C H IL D REN .

N ow th i s was J i m s especial F o i ble ,

H e ran away when he was able ,

And on this i nausp i cious day

H e sl i pped his hand and ran away !
He
’

hadn t gone a yard whe n

Bang .

W i th open ! aw s a L i on sprang
, ,

And hu ngrily began to eat

The Boy : beginning at his feet .
 C A U T IO NA R Y TA LES

N ow , ! ust i magi ne h ow i t feels

When fi rst your toes and then you r heels ,

And then by gradual degrees ,

Y our shins and ankles ,

c alves a d k
A re s lowly ea t en ,

No won der J i m detes t ed i t !

!
No wo nder tha t he shout e d Hi !

T he H one s t ! eeper hear d h i s cry ,

Though very fat

 CHILD R EN . 1 3

he almost ran
To help the litt l
e gentle man .

Ponto ! he ordered as he came

(For Ponto was the Li on
’

s name ) ,

Ponto l cri ed ,

w i th angry F rown .

L et go , Sir ! D own , Sir ! Put it down !

 CA U T I O N A RY T A L E S

The Li on made a sudden S top ,

H e let the D ai nty M orse ! drop ,

And slunk reluctant to h i s C age ,

S narl i ng w i th D isappointed R age .

B ut when he bent him over J i m ,

T he H onest ! eeper s

Eyes wer e
Li on hav i ng reached h i s H ead ,

M iserable Boy was d ead !

 FOR C H ILDR EN .

Wh e n N urse i nformed h i s Paren t s th e y ,

W ere more C oncerned than I ca n say

'

H is M other as ,
S he drie d h e r eyes ,

S aid ,
—
Well it gives me no surpr i s e ,

!
!

H e would not do as he was told

H is Father who was self controlled
,
-
,

Bade all the c hildren rou nd attend

 C A U T I ONA RY TA LES

T o J ames m i serable end ,

And always keep a-

h o ld of N urs e

F or fear of fi nd i ng someth i ng wo r se .
 FOR C H ILDREN . L7

H e n r y ! in g,
!

ea
’
i ts
f
o S tring , a n d w as ar y
e
l
in D rea dfu l 1 4g onies .

chew i ng l i ttle b i ts S tr i ng .

l
ast he s w allowed some which tied
 C A U T ION A RY TA LES

I tself i n ugly ! not s i nside .

Phys i c i ans of t h e U t most

Wer e called at once ! bu t c ame
They answered ,
 C A U T ION A RY TA LES

O h my F r i end s be warn ed
, ,

T ha t B reakfas t , D inner ,
and
Are all the H uman F rame requires
Wi th t ha t , th e W r e t ch e d C h i ld e ! pires .
 FOR CH ILDREN .

M at il
d a,
W/ o told
z L ies a n d
,
w a s Bu rn ed to D ea ta
.

M atilda told such D readful Li es ,

one s Eye s
’

It made one Gasp and S tr e t c h

H er Aunt who from her E arl i est Y outh

, , ,

H ad kept a S t r ict R egard for Truth

0
( CA U TIONARY T A LES

At t em p t ed t o M atilda .

T he effort very nearly

And would have done so ,
h ad no t

F o r o n c e towards t he C l
, o se of D a
y ,

M ati lda gro wi ng t i red of play

, ,
 FOR CH ILDRE N .
23

fi ndi ng she was left alo n e ,

W ent tipto e

the T el e p h on e
nd su mmo ned the I mmed i ate Aid
O f L ondon s N oble F i r e B ri gad e
’
-
.

W i thi n an h o u r the Ga l
lan t Band
Were p mg
our m on every hand ,

F rom Putn ey H ackney

,
D owns , a n d Bow
With C ourage h i gh a n d H earts a -
glow
They galloped roar i ng through the T ow
,
n ,
2 4 C A U T ION A R Y TA LES

'
’

M at i lda s H ou s e i s B urn i ng D own

I nspired by Br i tish C he e rs and L oud

Proceed i ng from the F re nz ie d C rowd ,

They ran the i r ladder s through a score

O f w i ndows on the Ball R oom F loor !

And took Pecu l i ar Pa i n s to S ouse

The Pictu res u p and down the H ouse ,

 FOR C H ILDREN .
25

U
’

nt i l M at i lda s Au nt su c ceeded
In showi ng them they were not needed !

And even then she had to pay

To get the M e n to go away !

It happened that a few Weeks later

H er Au nt was off to the Theatre
To see that I nterest i ng Play
26 C A U T ION ARY TA LES

S he had refused to take her N i ec e

To hear this E ntertaining P i ece

A D epr i vat i on J ust and Wise
To Pun i sh her for Telling Li es .

That N i ght a F i re a ia
’ ’
break out
You should have heard M atilda S hou t !
Y ou should have heard her S cream a n d
 C A U T ION A R Y TA LES

M atilda and the H ouse were Bu rned

, , .
 FOR CH ILDREN 29

Fran ! l
in H yd e
,

W/ ot ca r ou sea
I
in tne D irt I
a na wa s

td
correc e o
y

H is U ncle came on F rankl i n H yde

C arousing i n the D irt .

He S hook him hard from S ide t o S i d e

And
 C A U T I ONAR Y TA LES

t i ll i t H u r t ,

E xcla i m i ng with a F i nal

,
 CH ILDR EN .
3 1

that ! Aba n doned Boy '

For Play i ng wi th D isgusting M ud
As t hough it were a Toy !
!

MO R AL .

F rom Franklin H yde s adventure lear n

’

T o pass your L eisure Ti me

 C A U T ION A R Y TA LES

I n C leanl y M err i ment and turn

,

F rom M ud and O os e and S lim e

And every form of N astiness

B ut on the other H and

, ,

C hildren i n ord inar ress

alway s
 FOR C H I LDREN .
33

l
G o d o p h in H o r ne

a Boot—
Bla ce .

Godolph i n H o rn e was N obly Bo rn !

H e held t he H uman R ace i n S co r n ,

A nd l i ved w i th all his S ister s where

H i s Father lived ,
in B erkeley S quare .

And oh ! t he L ad was D eathly Proud !

 C A U T ION A R Y TA L E S

H e never shook you r H and or Bow e d ,

B ut merely smirked and nodded

H ow perfectly rid i culou s !

Alas ! That su ch Affected T ri cks
S hould fl ourish i n a C h i ld of S ix !

(F or such was Y ou ng l ’

G o do p h in s age ) .
36 CA U T I O NARY TA L E S

t ook

A Perfec t ly E n ormous Book

C alled Poog l! e ua l
ified to Be
A ttenda nt on H is M a! es ty,

And mu r mured as he sc anned

(
,

To see that no o n e should be

’
!
There s
 FOR C H ILDREN . .
37

William Coutts has got the

F lue ,

And B illy H i ggs would nev e r do ,

de V e re is far too young ,

And wasn t
’

D A
’

l
t n o
’

s Fat her hung !

A nd as for Alexander Byng '

I th i nk I know the ki nd of thing ,

A C hurchman , cleanly nobly born

, ,

C ome
 C A U T ION A RY TA L E S

me
!
let us say Godolph i n H o !

B ut hardly ha
d h e said th e word
Wh en M u r mur s of D i ssent were heard .

! of I celand s E ldes t
’

The i ng S on

S aid , Thank you ! I am tak i ng non e !

The Aged D uchess of Athlo n e
R ema r ked i n her sub acid to n e
,
-
,

!
I d oubt i f H e i s what we need !

W i th wh i ch t he Bishops all agreed !

And even L ady M ary F lood

( So ! i nd and oh
, ! so rea

’
l
l
y good )
S aid ,
No ! H e wouldn t do at all ,

H e d make us feel a lot t oo s mal l

’ !

T h e C hamberlai n said ,
 FOR C H ILDREN .
39

. Well well well

, , !

O ne can n ot
’

No doub t you re r ight .

H e took h i s Gold and D i amond Pe n

And

S crat ch ed G o dolph i n ou t aga i n .

S o n ow Godolphi n is the Boy

 FOR CH ILDR E N .
‘

4 1

l
A ge r n o n ,
la
p y ed w it n a L oaded G u n
,
a n d,
m issing é
S ister , w a s p
re i ma
r n ded éy nis

Young Alge r no n D octo r s

’

S on ,

play i ng w i th a
L oaded Gun .

H e poi nted It to
wards his sister ,

Ai med very .
care
fully bu t
,
 M iss e d h er

Fa t h er who
,

near ,

The L oud E xp l
os i o n cha n c e d to H ea r ,
44 C A U T I ON A RY TA LES

l
H i d e b r an d ,
wa s fi ignt ened é
y a Pa ssing

a n d wa s arougnt to R ea s on .

Oh ,
M urder ! Wha t wa s t ha t ,
Papa !
M y ch i ld ,
 FOR C H I LDREN .
45

It was a M o t or -
C a r,

M o st I ng e n i o u s Toy

D es i gned t o C apt i va t e a nd C harm

M uch rather than to rouse Alar m

,

In an
y E n
Yg ish l B oy .

What would your Great Gra ndfather

46 C A U T I ON A RY TA L E S

Was A i d e de C amp t o Ge n e ral Bru e

- -
,
CH ILDR E N .
47

Wa t e r loo ,
C A U T I O NAR Y TA L E S

! u at re B ras and
-

Li g n y t oo
 F OR C H ILDREN .
49

A n d died a t T rafalgar !

What would he have remarked to hear

H is Y oung D es c endant shriek with fear ,

B ecause he ha ppened to be near

A H ar mless M otor C ar ! -

But do not fret abou t it ! C ome !

 C A U T ION A R Y TA LES

We ll off to T o wn
’

And purchas e some

.

5 2 C A UT I ON A RY T A L ES

fathe r ,
L ord D unquerque
!

S aid , Hi ! in a C ommanding Tone ,

Hi ,
L undy ! L eave th e C at alone !

L o r d L u ndy ,
letti n g go its ta i l ,

Would l so
ra se te r r i ble a wail
As moved
 FOR CH ILDRE N .
53 .

H is
Grandp apa

D uke

To u t ter the s ev e re rebuke

!
When I , Sir ! was a little Boy ,

An Animal was ~

no t a T oy !
54 C A U T ION ARY TA LES

H is fath er s E lder
'

S i ster , who
Was marr i ed to a Parve no o ,

C o nfidc d to H er H usband , D ra t !

T he M iserable Peevish Brat !

,

Wh y do n t t hey drown t he
’

Li ttle Beas t !
S ugges ti o n s whi ch , to say the least ,

A re n ot what we e ! pect t o hear

F rom D aughters of an E ngl i sh Peer .

H is g randmamma H i s M other s M othe r

, ,
 FOR C H ILDREN .
55

Who had some dign i ty or o t h e r ,

T he Garter or no ,
matter what ,

I can t remember all the L ot !

S aid ,
!
O h ! t hat I were Br i sk an d
T o give him that for wh i c h to cry !

( A n empty wish alas , ! fo r s he

Was B lind and nearly n i ne t y -

three ) .
5 6 C A U TION A RY TA L E S

D ea r B ut l
er

I l
real
y n e i ther know no r care
F or what the D ea f O ld Butler thought !
In my o
p i mo n B ut l e rs ought
,

To know t hei r place and no t to play

,

The O ld R etain e r night and day

 C H ILDREN .

Im
’

getting tired and so are you ,

L et s Poem i nto two

 C A U T I ON A RY TA LES

L o rd L u n d y
(SE C ON D C AIN T O) .

It happen ed to L ord L u ndy '

then ,

As happens to so many men

T owards the age of twenty six -
,

T hey shoved h i m i nto politics !

In wh i ch profession he commanded
The income that his ran k demanded
In turn as S ecretary for
I ndia ,
the C olonies ,
and War .

B ut very soon his fr i ends began

To doubt if he were qu i te the man
T hus if a member rose to say
(
,

As m e mbe rs do from day to day ) ,

 CA U T ION A RY TA LES

Wh i le as for R evelat i ons the s e,

Would s i mply br i ng h i m to h i s knee s ,

And leave h i m whi mper i ng l i ke a child .

It drove his C olleagues ravi ng wild !

.

T h ey let h i m s i nk from Post t o Po s t ,

F rom fi fteen
hu n dred at t he mo s t
—
To e i ght and barely s i x and th e n
,

To be C u rato r of B ig B en !

And fi nally t her e came a Th reat

To oust h i m from the C abi net !

T he — —
D uke h i s aged grand s i re bore

Th e sham e t i ll he could bear no more .

H e rallied h i s decli n i ng powers ,

S u mmoned th e youth to Brackley Towers ,

 F OR C H ILDREN .
‘

6 1

A rid bi t terly addressed him thu s

Sir ! you have disappointed us !
!

We had i ntended you to be

The next Prime M inister but three
T he s t ocks were s old ! the Press w as squared
T he M i ddle C lass was quite prepared .

B ut as it i s ! M y lan guage fails !

Go ou t and gover n N e w S outh Wales !

The Aged Patriot groaned and died

 C A U T I ON A R Y TA LES

A nd grac i ou s ! how L o r d L u ndy cr i ed !

 FOR CH ILDREN . 63

R e b e c c a,
Wdo s lamm ed D oors f or Fu n a n d Perisned M isera é y l
.

A Tr ick that everyone abhors

I n Li ttle Girls is slamming D oors .

V l
Ve a th
y Banker s
’
64 C A U T I ON A RY TA LES

Who l i ved i n Palace Gree n Bayswate r

(
,

By name R ebecca O ffe ndo rt ) ,

Was g i ve n to this F urious S port .

S he would del i berately

And S lam the doo r l i ke

B ill y
-
Ho !
 FOR C H ILDR E N . 65

To mak e

U ncle J acob star t .

was not really bad at heart ,

But only rather rude and wild

S he was a n aggravat i n g ch i ld .

It happened t hat a M arble Bus t

O f Abraham was standi ng ! ust
Above the D oo r th i s little L amb

H ad carefully prepar e d to S lam ,

A nd D own i t came ! It knocked her l

f at !
66 C A U T IONAR Y TA LES

It la i d her out ! S he lo o ked

l i ke that .

H er fu neral S e rmon (wh i ch long

And followed by a S acred S ong )

M entioned h e r V irtues ,
it is true ,

But dwel t u pon he r V i ce s to o ,

 C A UTI ON A R Y TA LES

and inly swore

They never more would slam t he D oo r .

ofte n they had do ne before .

 FOR C H ILDREN . 69

G e o rg e ,
l o la
p y ed w it n a D a ng erous T oy , a n d suf ere d a

C a t a st rop /z e o eonsidera é l
e D im ensions
f .

Whe n George s Grandmamma was told

’

T hat George been as good as Gold ,

S he Promised i n the Afternoon

To buy hi m an Immense BA L L O ON
7 0 C A U T ION A RY TA LES

so she did ! bu t when cam e ,

It go t i nt o the candle l
f ame,

And being of a dangerous sort

E xploded

w i th a loud r eport !
 FOR C H ILDREN 71

The L ights went out ! T he W i ndows broke !

T he R oom was fi lled with reeki ng smoke .

And i n the d ark ness shrieks and yells

Were mingled with E lectri c Bells ,

And falling masonry and gr o ans ,

And c ru nchi ng as of broken bones

, ,

And dreadful shrieks when worst of all

, , ,

The H ouse itself began to fall !

It tottered shuddering t o and fro

, ,

T hen crashed into th e street below

Which happened to be S av i le R ow .

When H elp arrived am o ng the

,
D ead

C ousi n M ary ,

Li ttle F red ,
7 2 C A U T ION A RY TA LES

T he F o o tme n

The man t h at cleaned the B illiard R oo m -

,
 FOR CH ILDREN .
73

T h e C haplain ,
and

S t i ll R oom
-
M aid .

I dreadfully afraid
That M onsieur C hampignon ,
the C hef
,

Will be

permanently de af
74 C A U T ION A RY TA L E S

A i des

much
While George who was
, part to blam e ,

R eceived you w i ll regret to hea r

, ,

A na s ty lump

MO RAL .

moral i s that little Boy s

S h o uld n ot b e g i ven dangerou s
'
76 C A U T ION AR Y TA LES

And as for fi nding M utton Fat

-

U nappetising far fro m that

, !

He ften at his F ather s Board

’

o , ,

Would beg them of his own accord

, ,

T o give h i m ,
if they d i d no t m i nd ,

The Greasi est M orsels they could fi nd

H is L ater Y ears did not bel i e

T he Promise of his I nfan cy .
 FOR C H ILDREN .
77

Publ i c Li fe he always tried

T o take a ! udgment Broad and Wide !

In Pr i vate none was more than

, he

R enowne d for quiet c ourtesy .

H e rose at once i n his C areer ,

And long before his F o rtie t h Y ea r

H ad wedded
 C A U T I ON AR Y TA LES

O nly C h i ld
O f Bu nyan . F i rst l l
L ord A b e rfy de ,

H e thus became i mmensely R i ch ,

And bu i lt the S plend i d M ans i o n wh i ch

Is ca He d
 FOR CH ILDREN .
79

E b e Geb ars
(
.

l1b il
!b wl I
us e ,

Where he resides in A ffl u e nce st i ll

T o show what E verybody might
Become by

S IM PL Y D O IN G R IG H T .