5 AIM TON TON TO MN TEND OH AION TEN ON AEN IGCONDUCTING A READING mie ae There are many layouts that can help to deepen your understanding of The Housewives Tarot. The position of each card within the layout—and its relationship to other cards—will help you interpret what it really means. Remember that all cards are relative to one another. Let your intuition help determine what the cards are trying to tell you. Keep in mind that The Housewives Tarot is fully compatible with any layout, so you are not limited to the spreads illustrated here. Begin every reading by shuffling the cards thor- oughly. (If you are reading the cards for a friend, this person should do the shuffling.) If you would like to con- sult the tarot about a particular question, concentrate on this issue while you shuffle. Otherwise, try to clear your mind. Then proceed with the directions that follow.THE VIRGIN It is best to take it slowly if this is your first time read- ing the tarot. Perform this reading when you have some pressing issue or burning question and desire some quick-and-easy advice. Gently spread the cards out face down and pick one. The chosen card relates to the subject you were pondering. Put your interpre- tive skills to use and find the connections and similar- ities between the meaning of the card and the subject at hand. All done. Easy-peasy. That wasn't so bad. Now you're ready to try something less plain vanilla. THE NEAPOLITAN Though slightly more advanced than The Virgin, this delicious layout is still short and sweet. This spread shows how the distinct flavors of past, present, and future can align to shape your destiny. After shuffling, cut the cards into three separate piles. Take the top card from each pile and deal them in the order and placement shown. 101; This card represents your past (chocolate). 2: This card represents your present (vanilla). 3: This card represents your future (strawberry). Remember, the unique taste of each card enhances the others, so don't interpret one without mixing in the meaning of the other two. After you've mastered these simple layouts, you should be ready to tackle some trickier readings. THE DINETTE This layout is inspired by a dinner place setting. The heart of the matter is served on a plate, which is formed by your past, present, and future. Your course of action and outcome are represented by the silver- ware. This reading is best for specific or important questions or issues, and should be performed at the dining table or breakfast counter. 11Deal out the cards in the layout shown, then read them in that order. 1: This 2: This 3: This 4: This 5: This 6: This 7: This 8: This 9: This 10: This card represents the heart of the matter. is your present position. is what is currently passing out of your life. is your immediate future. is your past. is how others see you. is how you see yourself. represents your hopes or fears. is the direction to take or ponder. is the outcome. 12THE CLOTHESLINE OF LIFE If you enjoy airing dirty laundry in public, this is the layout for you. Grab a friend and conduct this read- ing in the laundry room, or wherever you keep your clothesline. Have plenty of clothespins on hand—the spring-close type work best—as well as a basket of wet, clean laundry in need of drying. Ask your friend to shuffle the deck, then remove one card and use a clothespin to hang it from the clothesline. Repeat six times until there is a total of seven cards hanging on the line. After you decipher each card, instruct your friend to hang one wet gar- ment on the clothesline. (When you've finished the reading, your friend can thank you by hanging the remaining clothes to dry.) 6666 6 6 6 134: This card represents your state of mind. 2: This card represents difficulties. 3: This card deals with career and communication. 4: This card represents romance and emotional relationships. 5: This card deals with home and family matters. 6: This card represents your unconscious foundation, 7: This card reveals your future or possible outcome. Though it is not necessary to perform this reading on laundry day, it does make for a more efficient use of your time. THE MARTINI To enhance the effect of the reading, have two very dry martinis prepared before starting (or just one if you are reading your own cards). This can be per- formed without the drinks, but the impact of the read- ing will not be as powerful. Take a sip of your martini before you begin. Deal out the cards in the form and order shown. Supplement your analysis of each card with another sip of the martini. 141: This is your present position. 2: This is your present expectation. %: This is the unexpected that may happen. 15BEEBE SES REESE This is your past. This is your fulure. This represents the difficulty you face. This represents your responsibilities. This represents what will oppose you. This represents what will help you. This represents your hopes or fears. = This is what direction or course of action to take. : This is your surroundings or how others see you. This is where you will find yourself or what you will achieve. Swig the rest of your drink as you deeply ponder the reading. 16Pre ae gs ehh ad, We MAJOR ARCANA ae The Major Arcana represents the various figures of inspiration and influence encoun- tered by our hero, the housewife, on her SALES eSB EN ERAS shah Ch oe 3 long and perplexing journey. We empa- ns thize with the romances, conflicts, trials rs and tribulations of her restrictive suburban a Core ana Met iule MOL Umi eset talc) 7 crisis and repression. We applaud when me she has an epiphany and is reborn enlight Ei ened and empowered. Ss Pe ML com Tel Carole OMICS TNE 4 LT wena Moda Lome el Cola Ma TolMol Ao) fe have her family mess itup, so she must clean ce Tiere ol ALL Mecol ce LCC NAle I foyy e Arcana represent various stages of the life > cycle: birth, growth, death, and rebirth. Come, join us on our journey. . . SS SP a et ee eM L Mma eae De et a ae oa Bee VAAN CDRS PY EPR YM VL PRUE eG eCONFUSION ¢ INDECISION + BEGINNING A JOURNEY The Fool represents our hero, the newly married house- wife. She must have been confused and indecisive this morning, because her shoes, though stunning, don’t match her skirt, which doesn’t match her blouse, which doesn’t match that smart hat perched atop her pretty noggin. If only there were some magic potion in that mismatched pocketbook of hers—but no, it's just full of dried-up foundation and snagged pantyhose from days gone by. What's a girl to do? Why, start a quest for some good old-fashioned advice, of course!ILLUSIONS + DECEPTION + CHARM New and improved! Hassle free! Money-back guar- antee! These are the promises of The Magician, a charismatic salesman with all the answers to life’s lit- tle problems. Unfortunately, these sales pitches are only halftruths. After all, a roast is only as good as the cook who prepares it. So don't be fooled by smooth talkers and sycophants. If something sounds too good to be true, it probably is.MOTHERHOOD *« POISE + NURTURING A feminine force to be reckoned with, The Empress is the earthly mother to housewives everywhere, and she spreads her wisdom of domesticity across the land, Symbolizing your hidden potential, she is warm, com- forting, and perfectly poised and coiffed, with just a touch of authority to complement her nurturing charm. She has tested each and every recipe herself in her own kitchen, and loves nothing more than sharing the tips and secrets of her success. Follow her instructions carefully, and you're on your way to domestic bliss.FATHERHOOD *¢ STABILITY + BUSINESS SUCCESS The Emperor is the earthly father to the housewife. He is a sturdy and reliable figure—the pantry staple that you can always count on in a crisis. He repre- sents ambition, wealth, fame, success, achievement, and smart business decisions. He knows a bargain when he sees one, and is living proof that with a little hard work, imagination, and coupon clipping, you, too, can build a thriving empire.MYSTERY + SECRETS « MAGIC Contained deep within her supernatural syrup are the psychic powers and mysterious knowledge of the uni- verse. When no one else is watching, she may choose to whisper some secrets to you one morning at the breakfast table. Then again, she may not. She offen speaks in riddles; don’t expect her to spoon-feed you the answer. The High Priestess has a dual nature— evil and good—and is available in both dark, thick, rich Original and dieHriendly reduced-calorie Lite.ANSWERS * WISDOM + HARSH TRUTHS If you've got questions and need answers, grab the TV Guide and switch on the boob tube. The Hiero- phont offers many answers and reveals secrets on every station. It is a wise but undiscriminating oracle that broadcasts both family-oriented and adult pro- gramming. Yes, the reception is crystal clear, but you may not like what you see and hear.ROMANCE ¢ INFATUATION + SEX The Lovers teach us that there is more to romance and relationships than long gazes into each other's eyes and the thrill of putting out in the back seat of aconvertible. Matters of the heart are always com- plicated, and with love comes many responsibilities and repercussions. Don't be blinded by beauty and physical attraction. Keep your eyes on the road and watch for hazards ahead.TRAVEL * DECISIONS * RISK You can't run your ertands by relaxing on the sofa, so gas up that station wagon and get a move on! While on the road, you'll need to make some impor- tant decisions: Should you try that short cut you've heard about or take the tried-and-true route you know like the back of your hand? Remember—noth- ing ventured, nothing gained!DETERMINATION + CONVICTION « POWER The Strength card teaches you that true power lies within—that brute force alone will not remove caked- on grease and grime from your skillet. Scrub too hard and you will only scour yourself. A little pres- sure, applied correctly and with the right tool, can accomplish anything. Like leaving dirty dishes to soak, this lesson may take some time to sink in.MEDITATION +* SOLITUDE + SOUL SEARCHING We all need some time to ourselves, so try shutting out the world and indulging in some well-deserved “me time.” Mix a cup of your favorite General Foods International Coffee, take the phone off the hook, lock yourself in the bathroom, fasten on your eye mask, and sink into a bubble bath for some soul searching and meditation. Calgon, take me away!DESTINY * UPS AND DOWNS + RESPONSIBILITY FOR ONE'S OWN FATE Place your bet and watch the wheel spin round! It may be your night to win the jackpot, but watch out—you could be destined for bankruptcy! Before claiming the wheel was fixed or blaming fate, remember that you decided to play with the big boys instead of stick- ing with the slot machines. You decided to bet it all instead of cashing in your chips while you were ahead. The harsh lesson The Wheel of Fortune teaches us is that we are each responsible for our own fate.FAIRNESS « REWARDS « PUNISHMENTS Justice is best served by a fair and impartial judg- ment. It is about weighing both sides and finding the proper balance. The time has come to get what you deserve. Justice is as much about rewarding with sweets as it is chastising with the wooden spoon. It’s up to you whether you end up licking a lollipop or rubbing a sore behind. Like mother always says, “What goes around, comes around.”EPIPHANY + HARDSHIP « A TURNING POINT You've had an epiphany and finally see things as they really are. Whether it’s your backstabbing girl- friend, a new washer/dryer set that isn’t working as promised, or your womanizing no-goodnick hus- band, it's time to hang your problems out to dry. This may seem like a hard thing to do, but you must. Enough is enough! Keep in mind that this sacrifice and time of hardship is necessary to make way for future happiness.— AN UNAVOIDABLE ENDING +¢ LOSS + NECESSARY CHANGE Something is rotten. The expiration date has passed and the food has spoiled! You may be reluctant to throw it away, and you may try to convince yourself that a little mold never hurt anyone, but only a fool would dare eat food riddled with botulism. No mat- ter how many preservatives are added, everything eventually goes stale. The Death card may seem grim, but its message is a positive one: This ending is nec- essary to make a fresh beginning and a tastier future.COOPERATION « COMPROMISE + SYMPATHY Add equal parts joy and sorrow, anger and forgive ness, justice and compassion. Mix on high for two minutes, or until well blended. Temperance is a deli cious and healthy combination of opposite sides of the spectrum—a heaping helping of compromise or cooperation in marriage, relationships, or partnerships. Spoon this mixture into every aspect of your life.TEMPTATION * VICE * SELF-DESTRUCTION The modern convenience of TV dinners, instant cof- fee crystals, and processed cheese in a can. The sin- ful satisfaction of martinis, cigarettes, and devil's food cake with rich, creamy frosting. Oh, how the Devil inside us loves seemingly simple solutions and indulgent luxuries! It's not good to repress these temptations entirely, but take great care not to let such vices rule your life. Succumbing to your dark side too often will surely bring about your downfall.REPRESSION + BREAKING THE MOLD + QUESTIONING CONVENTION It's time for you to break the mold—the gelatin mold, that is. When The Tower appears in a reading, it rep- resents the need to question things, to see the deli- cious gelatin for what it really is—ground-up bones and pig hooves. Appearances can be deceiving: Are those maraschino cherries . . . or lima beans? Don’t resign yourself to becoming just another piece of fruit trapped deep inside the conventions of this towering dessert!ADMIRATION + LIMELIGHT + SUCCESS Looks like you’ve won the blue ribbon this year! Such happiness and good fortune is simply divine! Sud- denly you're the center of attention. Others look to you for inspiration, optimism, and guidance. Enjoy your time in the limelight, but don't let it go to your head. Yes, you've been trying to take home the prize for years now, but don’t gloat to the girls now that the tide has turned your way.INSTINCT + INTUITION « DREAMS A nightly ritual of mud masks, curlers, and hairnets can provide much more than just peaches-and- cream skin and perfect curls. While your body gets its beauty rest, your unconscious mind is providing dreams with hints and tips for your waking hours. The Moon suggests that listening to your instincts and intuitions can help you through times of change and uncertainty.wi, HAPPINESS « me "4 |ARITY +¢ OPTIMISM Nothing brightens your morning like a hearty plate of sunny-side ups. The Sun brings optimism, prosper- ity, happiness, friendship, and a big, bright smile at the breakfast table. Your thoughts and ideas are well formed and unbroken, not scrambled or poached. The Sun is dual natured; as part of a balanced breakfast, it can provide plenty of protein and energy for the day. But overdoing it can clog the arteries with cholesterol.ASSESSMENT + ACCEPTANCE + HARSH CRITICISM The time has come to weigh the facts—and yourself! Judgment is about abandoning bad habits and accep. ing yourself for who you really are. Don’t be modest; take credit for all your good deeds and valuable traits. Shed the negative thoughts that weigh you down with their high-calorie burdens. True happiness is more about eliminating low self-esteem than losing those pesky five pounds.GREAT ACHIEVEMENT « DREAMS REALIZED + END OF A JOURNEY You've finally got it all—the doting husband, beau- tiful children, and the gorgeous ranch-style home, complete with white picket fence and dog. No more “keeping up with the Joneses.” Now the Joneses have to keep up with you! The World represents a goal that has been realized, or the successful com- pletion of one stage in life.NEW RELATIONSHIPS « BEGINNINGS + FOUNDATION Lift your cup high and make a toast! The Ace of Cups heralds a new relationship in your life. Have you found true love? A new bridge partner? Or is it just a new butcher who gives you the choice cuts of meat? Whoever that special someone is, a drink is in order to celebrate the beginning of something fabulous. Cheers!| a a UNION + BALANCE «+ HARMONY Signifying the union of two people, the Two of Cups speaks of a happy balance between two par- ties, or even a reconciliation of opposites. It could be the beginning of a budding romance, or simply a well-balanced friendship. Just don’t let the wine go to your head!CREATION + CHANGE * CONCEPTION As two glasses toast, their contents spill into a third. What delicious cocktail will they create? The Three of Cups is a card of creation, the beginning of some- thing new conceived by the mixing of two forces. It may be a wedding, a birth, or just a joyous occasion worth celebrating. Shaken or stirred, your life is in for a significant change.BOREDOM * OVERINDULGENCE ¢ ENNUI An intoxicated housewife stumbles back from a foolish binge. Another glass is offered to her, but she wisely refuses it. The Four of Cups warns of over- indulgence, whether it is in matters of the heart, the home, or the bottle. Too much of a good thing leads to boredom—or worse, rehab! Change, not escape, is the answer.fe ani” || rm we EMOTIONAL LOSS + PESSIMISM * CLOSURE A pessimistic housewife despairs over three glasses spilled on her ravishing new carpet, failing to see the two that still remain. When the Five of Cups appears in a reading, it’s a sure sign that you need to stop crying over spilled milk—or martinis—and move on with your life. You've suffered an emotional loss, but don't dismay! Just open your eyes to see all the good things you still have. Drink up!ee Wg MED MED NEM SEM SE SE SOM NEDA SEM NE Ste * NOSTALGIA + INNOCENCE + OLD FLAMES On hot summer days there's nothing like a glass of crisp, refreshing lemonade. The Six of Cups conjures up memories of days gone by, youthful expeditions, and long-lost loves. The “coming home” card, it may signal a reunion with a childhood friend or even the rekindling of an old romance. Pucker up and savor the sweet-and-sour taste of nostalgia!CAREFUL DECISIONS « PROSPERITY + FOCUS A variety of delectable libations lay before you. What's a girl to drink? The Seven of Cups signals a choice to be made. Prosperity overflows in the cock- tail lounge of your heart, but if you accept every drink that's sent your way you may regret it in the morning] It may be difficult to choose between all of these alluring concoctions, but a choice must be made, pronto, Last calllBROKEN HEART ¢« DISAPPOINTMENT + FAILED ENDEAVOR Eight neatly stacked coffee cups symbolize fastidious preparation for the inevitable emotional hangover. Regrettably, it’s not enough to rejuvenate your broken spirit. When the Eight of Cups appears, it may be your wake-up call to let go of a long-term relation- ship that has boiled over or a failing endeavor you have invested a great deal of passion in.WISHES FULFILLED * GIFTS + ATTAINMENT The Nine of Cups is regarded as one of the most pos- itive cards in the tarot; it suggests that you will receive everything your little heart desires and that all your dreams will be fulfilled. Everything on your wish list is under the tree just waiting to be unwrapped. Untie the bow, tear off the paper, and enjoy all the treasures you have earned!CELEBRATION + WISDOM « COMPLETION A jubilant housewife proudly displays her complete collection of drinking vessels. The Ten of Cups is a card of celebration. Now that your own bar is fully stocked, you’re the one dispensing delicious cock- tails of wisdom and insight. Completely prepared fo take on the world, you've got a recipe to handle any crisis. Remember, if life hands you lemons, mix up a Tom Collins!CULTIVATION + GROWTH + NURTURE The Page of Cups is a creative, sensitive, nurturing figure who demonstrates the importance of pouring plenty of TLC on any relationship you'd like to see blossom. But like seeds planted in a garden, you must continually tend to your relationships, lest they wither and die. Don’t let your fear of rejection stunt your emotional growth—cultivate the bonds you share and watch them bloom.| | | CHARM « ROMANCE + SENSITIVITY The Knight of Cups is a charmer, a romantic, and a dreamer who tends to wear his heart on his sleeve. | When on top of the world, he’s the first to uncork | the champagne. When feeling blue, he'll drown his | sorrows in ambrosia and hope for amnesia. Yes, | he’s sensitive, gentle, and can be a bit moody, but that’s all part of his appeal. Fortunately, his mood is usually bright and sunny.INTOXICATION « EMOTIONS + INTROSPECTION Highly emotional and introspective, the Queen of Cups usually represents a woman in your life or a feminine aspect of your own personality. For her the glass is always half-full, if not filled to the brim! Her intoxicating qualities leave others feeling a bit tipsy, and her propensity for sentimental musings often leads to neglect of household responsibilities.CONTEMPLATION * MYSTERY + DEVOTION A deeply contemplative individual, the King of Cups seeks to forge meaningful relationships with anyone willing to enjoy a drink with him. Though his enig- matic demeanor suggests he is not entirely comfort able with his feelings, once he throws back a few cold ones, he tends to open up. He also may repre- sent the need to let go of sober intellect and get in touch with your “spirits.”ENERGY « PROJECTS « ADVENTURE Behold, a new spark of energy to begin your next project! You hold the power to dust away the old and start anew. When the Ace of Wands appears in a reading, it speaks of new ventures and journeys or suggests that it’s time fo do a litle spring cleaning. Grab that Pledge and get to work!CROSSROADS + DECISION + CHOICE You must choose where to focus your energy. Do you continue to sweep up the dirt, or is it time to mop that floor to a sparkling shine? The Two of Wands sym- bolizes a crossroads—you must decide whether to remain on your current course or to move on to the next stage of your journey.SATISFACTION « PROGRESS + CONSIDERATION A proud housewife stands back to evaluate her progress. Mop and feather duster in hands, broom at her side, she carefully inspects the area. The Three of Wands signals the first signs of success. Yes, there is still much to do, but first you must take stock and decide which chore to tackle next. The satisfaction of a job well done gives way to the inspiration for further progress.REWARD + TRANQUILITY + RELAXATION Take a load off and enjoy a well-deserved Shirley Temple. The Four of Wands is a card of rest and relaxation. You‘ve swept away the emotional rub- bish and laid a foundation for success. Now it's time to enjoy the tranquility of an afternoon nap and to treat yourself to a drink. Rest up for the challenges ahead.COMPETITION *« STRUGGLE * INNER STRENGTH Growth and progress give way to inevitable conflict. The Five of Wands depicts a weary housewife besieged by household appliances. These domestic assailants seek to overwhelm her just when things were going her way. You may need fo reach deep inside yourself to discover what it is that makes you stand out. Which secret weopon will leave your competition in the dust?VICTORY +« TRIUMPH ¢ PRAISE The Six of Wands is the victory card, and finds the housewife triumphant against the trials that assaulted her in the previous card. Her beautiful home is the toast of the town. From her spotless kitchen to her pristine pantry, everything is spick-and-span, and the neighbors can’t stop singing her praises. It's time to stand back and take a little credit for your achievements!CHALLENGES + FIGHTING BACK + CRISIS The Seven of Wands finds you on the defensive. The challenge you face may be overwhelming— like trying to scrub an entire toilet with only a tooth- brush. But you must stand your ground and fight back against your enemies, even if they play dirty. Challenges will come at you from all angles, but you possess the power fo flush out those who seek to usurp your porcelain throne.TRAVEL + FLIGHT + GROWTH A homemaker soars through the sky on a broomstick, with her other cleaning paraphernalia traveling close behind, The Eight of Wands represents a busy time of travel, growth, and expansion. If a trip is in order, you may want to consider flying. Take charge of the situation and others will follow your lead.OBSTACLES OVERCOME + IMMINENT SUCCESS You're almost there! You’ve mopped the floor with the competition and now your goal is within sight, The Nine of Wands confirms your imminent success. The dirty water in the bucket suggests you've overcome many obstacles, and you have only fo continue on your current course to complete the project at hand.CONTROL * BURDEN +« WEARINESS At last, you are in complete control of the situation, Unfortunately, it also means all the responsibility is yours, and it may be more than you can handle. The Ten of Wands illustrates the housewife who has il all, but without the energy and zest she had in the Ace. It may be time to put down the wands and rest up until next time.IMAGINATION + FUN-LOVING ¢ CREATIVITY The Page of Wands usually denotes a charismatic child with an active imagination and a wellspring of energy. A funtoving explorer, he likes being the cen- ter of attention. He may indicate the need to find a creative use for a skill you long thought merely func- tional. This card can also herald the need for growth to bring your dreams into reality.EXUBERANCE + MISCHIEF + LOYALTY Like the other members of his suit, the Knight of Wands enjoys being the focus of everyone's atten- tion. The perpetual party guy, his swell ideas for fun and tomfoolery are a hit with ladies and gents alike. Cruising around the neighborhood with pals, he has a tendency to get into mischief. Still, he is a loyal friend, and his youthful spirit inspires change and personal growth in everyone he meets.CREATIVE ENERGY + EGO « PASSION This “drama queen” radiates creative energy—she positively glows! Her dominating personality sweeps people off their feet but often leaves others feeling slighted. She is an attentive housewife, but still finds the time and energy to pursue her own interests. In a spread, the Queen of Wands can also suggest the need to travel or to devote your time to more creative pursuits.CHARISMA + INVENTIVENESS * ENCOURAGEMENT Charismatic and inventive, the King of Wands is the embodiment of inspired creativity. Brandishing o multi-purpose, five-headed wand he constructed himself, he is full of bold ideas, and his magnetic personality inspires others to partake in his journey fo the top. He may symbolize a strained relation- ship with someone who expects too much of you, or the need for you to take charge of your destiny. |CHALLENGES * TRIALS + UPCOMING ORDEALS Getting right to the point, the Ace of Swords warns of an upcoming ordeal that will test your “metal.” A slice of gumption with a dollop of common sense will get you through whatever trial comes your way. Your mind is sharp and ready for a challenge, so don't be afraid to take on those who try to cut you out of the picture.CONFLICTS « OPPOSING VIEWS + IMPARTIALITY Like Thanksgiving dinner with the in-laws, life can be full of conflicts. As the blindfolded woman illustrates, it is important to remain impartial when stalemates occur. The Two of Swords reminds us that it is seem- ingly opposing tastes—like cranberry sauce and green bean casserole—that make life more delic- ious. After all, if no one wanted the dark meat, there wouldn't be enough light meat to go around.RELATIONSHIP TROUBLES « LOVE TRIANGLE ¢ INFIDELITY Things just don't taste as sweet as they used to. The signs are all there: late nights at the office, mysteri- ous phone calls, lipstick on his handkerchief, linger- ing scents of a tawdry perfume that certainly isn’t yours. Don’t let him have his cake and eat it, too. The Three of Swords is a sign of trouble, turmoil, and tri- angles in love, marriage, or close friendships. Any relationship that causes chronic heartburn should be sliced out of your life.RETREAT « REVITALIZE + REINVENTION Times have been rough. Your outlook is wrinkled and your spirit is sagging. The Four of Swords is a sign that it’s time to retreat and reinvent yourself before you are fit to be seen in public again. Try exfoliating your frown, moisturizing your morale, and rejuve- nating with some relaxation. Give your attitude an overall face-lift. With the proper pampering, you'll emerge revitalized—friends will be dazzled by the “new you.”ACCEPTING LIMITATIONS + REALISM + TIME MANAGEMENT Sure, you think you can do it all, but no one is perfect. You should acknowledge and accept your limitations and focus on goals that are aclvally within your reach. Your perfectionist nature may be working against you. Knitting baby booties and darning socks is an attainable goal—sewing your entire wardrobe from scratch is not! All the time wasted on the impossible could have been used more effectively for realistic tasks.REVELATIONS ¢ TRANSITION + BETTER TIMES AHEAD After spending so much time and energy looking for a way out of your troubles, you've finally seen the light. With a spark of insight, it looks like you can finally put your troubles behind you. This is a tran- sitory period in your life; you will be moving out of the darkness and into the sunshine. |t's time to release all the pentup anxiety and aggression and make way for happier times.GOSSIPS + THIEVES « BACKSTABBERS You've heard whispering behind your back and sensed phony smiles and condescending charm at every turn. There's a vicious gossip in your circle doing everything in her power to put a big black stain on your pretty white reputation. Watch out—she’s a real stinker, determined to soil your social status. She's always been jealous, but now she’s trying to steal your recipes, your friends, and maybe even your hus- band. Though it’s normally beneath you, the time has come to roll up your sleeves and fight fire with fire!INDECISION « SELF-RESTRICTION + NO-WIN SITUATIONS Like a chintzy platter of unappetizing hors d'oeuvres, life can offer plenty of no-win situations. The olive-loaf looks just as bad as the cocktail weenie on a stick. Don‘t allow such indecision and second-guessing to restrict you. Though they’re all probably revolting, you've got to try something—or starve. Why not take a stab at the mushroom puff? It seems to be the lesser of many evils. If you gag, you can always discreetly hide it in your pocketbook and taste something else. See? There's always a way out of an embarrassing situation.PARANOIA + DELUSION + APPREHENSION You have nothing to fear but fear itself! Though you fret over coffee stains on the love seat and detect disapproval from your mother-in-law, don't worry that pretty little head of yours. You suspect the worst, but it's probably all in your mind, and you are work- ing yourself into a fizzy for nothing. Even when your problems are real, you tend to blow them out of pro- portion. Sometimes your apprehension is worse than the outcome you dread.RUIN + DISASTER + GREAT MISFORTUNE Things can’t get any worse, and you've just about reached the end of your tether. Mercy, what a mess! Like the Death card (page 31), the Ten of Swords may seem dark and twisted, but it’s actually about realizing that it may be better to throw something away and start over. You've got nowhere to go but up. Put your sewing needles back in their cushion, but give it another shot. Maybe this time try 4 sewing machine!3 =< INQUISITIVE + INSUBORDINATE + MISCHIEVOUS This rambunctious, headstrong mischief maker is full of sass and shenanigans, leaving quite the mess in his wake. The Page of Swords doesn't mean to back- talk—he’s simply inquisitive. Tell him to wash his hands, and he'll ask “Why?” Tell him to stop running with scissors, and he'll ask “Why?” Tell him anything and he'll ask “Why? Why? Why?” Sometimes it’s smart to do as you're told and not question, inter- rupt, or defiantly disobey. Otherwise you'll soon be saddled with a reputation as the “problem child.”REBELLIOUS + EGOTISTICAL + COCKSURE A rebel with a cause, the Knight of Swords rides into town full throttle, never looking back. He's all swag- ger, swill, and sexiness—the bad boy from the wrong side of town that Mother warned you about. Though his cockiness has all the gals aquiver, it’s best to wor- ship from a distance. He's out to get what he wants, regardless of whom he mows down or knocks up in the process. He doesn’t intend to be so callous and blind to the feelings of others; he just never remem- bers to remove his shades to see clearly.SHARP-TONGUED + STERN + MOURNFUL This Queen has seen her share of hardship and sor- row. Never fear—she’s pulled herself through the dark days by being tough as nails, with a cast-iron will and razor-sharp wit. The Queen of Swords keeps a stiff upper lip and holds her head high in the face of adversity. Unfortunately, she can also be a total bitch. While it's admirable to seem impervious to enemies, don’t unleash that coldness on loved ones.STUBBORN + JUDGMENTAL + BLUNT The King of Swords is a sturdy, if somewhat abrupt, figure who takes charge and keeps law and order at the barbecue. He is impartial and fair (at least in his own mind}, but he accepts special orders from no one. If he’s grillin’ the burgers well done and you request mediumrare—TOUGH DARTS! When he feels he's fin- ished cooking and ready to eat, the grill is shut off for the night, so no begging for another weenie. Though you may not understand his harsh judgments and brusque r manners, this is his domain, so deal with it!PLANNING + PREPARATION ¢ DETERMINATION Like hosting a dinner party, the key to financial suc- cess is preparation. The Ace of Pentacles reminds us that, before we can begin any endeavor, we need a sensible plan, fierce determination, and a heavy- duty pair of latex gloves. Whether you're opening a savings account, starting a new business, or just washing the fine china, make sure to plan ahead.BALANCE * RESPONSIBILITIES + PRESSURE Like juggling priceless porcelain plates, balancing the responsibilities of a housewife and the pressures of a business takes grace and determination. The Two of Pentacles is about maintaining a balance, even when you've got a snot-nosed brat tugging st your right leg and a belligerent cocker spaniel chew- ing on your left. Don't despair; the babysitter will be here at five o'clock sharp!PRAISE « RECOGNITION + COMPLETION As the neighbors gaze in awe, an industrious housewife puts the finishing touches on a new shelf to display her Melmac dinner plates. The Three of Pentacles finds you completing the initial stages of a project. You've hammered out all the details and screwed the competition. Now it's time to discuss the next phase of development and to enjoy the praise and recognition you so rightly deserve.SELFISHNESS « HOARDING ¢ FEAR OF RISK Also known as “the miser card,” the Four of Pentacles can be summed up as “nothing ventured, nothing gained.” Sure, that costly china may be a precious family heirloom, but what good is it locked away while you serve your family and friends meals on cheap paper plates? You'll never appreciate all that you've accumulated if you don’t share it with those you love, so tonight break out the good china for a change! Don’t worry that one may get cracked— better a plate than a relationship,Fue of PENTACLES 7, FINANCIAL LOSS + MISFORTUNE + POVERTY CRASHI That's the sound of the stock market—and the stack of dishes you just dropped. The Five of Pentacles indicates a heavy financial loss. What you must remember, however, is that in reality you've lost nothing. Gravity and misfortune may have claimed your tableware, but it cannot smash your mojo. Your meat loof is still unsurpassed, and your pimento- gelatin molds are to die for. Collect the broken pieces, whip out the Krazy Glue, and get started on repairing the damage.Shi of PENTACLES GENEROSITY + LUCK + SHARING The Six of Pentacles is about generosity in times of both prosperity and hardship. If you're enjoying the sweet taste of success, why not try sharing that sugary bounty with others? You never know whether Lady Luck will trick or treat you, so always offer up the best you can. If you were the one going doorto- door, wouldn't you prefer a home-baked goodie to measly penny candy?PATIENCE « INVESTMENTS « GROWTH You've planted the seeds of success and your invest- ments are firmly rooted in the soil of sensibility. The only thing left to do is wait. The Seven of Pentacles contends that money does grow on trees; it just may take a while before you see the fruits of your labor. It's out of your control now, so sit back and watch your enterprise ripen and bloom.TALENT +« IMAGINATION + INSPIRATION Who knew that a modest attempt.to beautify her ~ dinnerware would thrust this simple housewife into an exciting new career? When the Eight of Pentacles appears, a sudden stroke of genius may guide you to an enterprising new field. Put your talents and imagination to use, because there is more you can do with dishes than just wash them.INDEPENDENCE * CONFIDENCE + CLARITY Like an automatic dishwasher, you are completely self-sufficient and without the need of a helping hand. The Nine of Pentacles represents an independent woman who knows how to get the job done with ease and grace. She's gone through all the neces- sary cycles and now her future is sparklingly clear.ASLAM SOA ESLER SESE EMO Se ey, Ten off PENTACLES Ee oe oe WEALTH + ACHIEVEMENT ¢ FAMILY A beautiful china plate adorned with the image of the perfect home, the Ten of Pentacles is reminiscent of a priceless family heirloom. Whether passed down through generations or accumulated through hard work and shrewd business sense, you must remember to share that with which you’ve'been blessed. You may have always known what you were working for, but now you know why.POSSESSIONS * DETERMINATION + FASTIDIOUSNESS The Page of Pentacles is beter known as mommy's litle helper and daddy's little entrepreneur. He has a great respect for money and expensive objects. Always out to make an extra buck, he will gladly do more chores to supplement his weekly allowance. He is a born collector as well, as he cherishes pos- sessions and takes great care of them. He is deter- mined to collect every baseball card in the set, and meticulously keeps them in order. Some say he is fas- tidious beyond his years.AMBITION « ENTREPRENEURSHIP + REWARD The Knight of Pentacles is one busy guy! Whether it's mowing old Mrs. Cratchett's lawn or delivering the Elmwood Gazette, he's got a lot of jobs on his plate. A real go-getter, he keeps his nose to the grindstone and pinches every penny until he can afford the finest things life has to offer. From his swanky duds ° to his stylish convertible, his expensive tastes keep him working overtime! His appearance may indicate a reward long overdue that's soon to be received.MATERIALISM + ELEGANCE + HIGH EXPECTATIONS Practical and materialistic, the Queen of Pentacles always has money on her mind. She appreciates all things tasteful and elegant, and never hesitates to spend her hard-earned riches on earthly posses- sions. Though generous toward family and friends, she tends to think of her relationships as investments; if they aren't paying off, she'll cash in her chips. She may symbolize a helpful friend or employer who expects foo much of you in return.BENS NES NEY ES EY) ES NE EY A) ey) ty CHAD TROT TIAA TAN TANTS MYLES WES) WS) Wy ey eile ie ky yi LUXURY + DILIGENCE ¢ RICHES CI TRA TRAY The King of Pentacles loves to surround himself 3 in riches and luxuries, so it’s no surprise that his home is a sight to behold. He's honest and generous—always willing to spread the wealth. His fortune was acquired through hard work and diligence, not deception and corruption. He doesn’t like to be bothered while relaxing in his favorite recliner, but he ENTS doesn't mean to seem distant. He’s worked hard so his family can live in luxury, and tends to express his feelings with gifts over words. ope NE ye Ye SNES We ey We) Ny FTN TREAT TR TRA TRA IRATTRA WRARARAAD 96 TROROTOHENS