§ 4.3 Substantive Transitions Thus far, we have looked at generic transitions, which are like glue berween, sentences, and at orienting transitions, which are backdrops for information or sometimes windows through which information can be seen The third type of transition, substantive transitions, can best be com- pared to the interlocking links of a chain. Like the links of a chain, substantive transitions serve two functions: they make a connection and they provide content. In short, they live up to their name—they are both substantive and transitional [EXAMPLE SUBSTANTIVE TRANSITION Bugger andl Zavala are the only cases in which a conviction was overturned when the motorist's vehicle was totally off the road. While these holdings could be helpful to Mr. Renko, the Montana court will still probably interpret the statute to include the shoulder of the highway. Here, the substantive transition is “while these holdings could be helpful to Mr, Renko." It serves as a transition connecting the two sentences for two reasons: frst, itis placed at or near the beginning of the following sentence, where it can help bridge the gap between the ideas: and second, it uses the phrase “these holdings” to refer back (o the information in the previous sentence. In short, the transition looks both forward and back. But, as we said before, a substantive transition does not serve merely as a transition; it also provides new content, It points out that “these hold ings could be helpful to Mr. Renko” before going on to the main point of the sencence, that the court still is likely to interpret the statute as including the shoulder of the highway. § 4.3.1 The Structure of Substantive Transitions Substantive transitions often employ a technique called dovetailing as the basis for their structure. eee ee secrete eee secene tee seetsteedau tee sreseeesseeseeseveeeese eee eteeeseteeese62 4A QUIDE TO EBFECTIVE WRITING basa Dovetailing A carpenter who wants a strong joint berween two pieces of wood is likely touse the dovetail, a special joint characterized by the tight fit of interlocking Pieces of wood. Similarly, a writer who wants a strong joint between two Sentences uses a dovetail of words to connect the ideas, Through the dover, he or she interiocks ideas by creating an overlap of language. The overlap of language may be as simple as the repetition of terms from one sentence to the next or the use of pronouns to refer back to an earlier noun In Esser, four people agreed to share costs and build a road. Afver the road was built, each person used the road under a claim of right Sentence 1 fe four people... bi After the road was built, each road. person used the road nlence 2 A slightly more complicated dovetail than the one in the previous example requires the writer to find a word or phrase to use in the second sentence that sums up the idea of the previous sentence EXANPLE ” SUMMARIZING PHRASE DOVETAIL Search and seizures are governed by the Fourth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution and Article I, Section 7 of the Washington Constitution. Both of these provisions have been interpreted as requiring that search warrants be valid and that searches and seizures be reasonable. Sentence 1 _ Sentence 2 a Fourth Amendment...and Both of these provisions Article 1 Note that in both cases the words in the dovetail tend to be toward the end Of the first sentence and toward the beginning of the second. Often the summarizing noun or phrase will be preceded by a hook word such as “this,” “that,” “these,” “chose,” or “such.” EXAMPLE” HOOK AND SUMMARIZING PHRASES Realizing that she would not be able to stop in time to avoid hitting the bus, Mrs. Long swerved her vehicle around the bus and into the parallel lane of traffic, This evasive action cesulted in her sideswiping another vehiele in the oncoming lane,— 943. CONNECTIONS BETWEEN SENTENCES oy Connecting idea Connecting idea swerved...into...tralfie This evasive action (hook (oummarizing word) ‘noun phrase) To form an effective dovetail, then, a legal writer can use one or more of the following techniques: 1, Move the connecting idea to the end of the first sentence and (0 the beginning of the second sentence; 2. repeat Key words from the first sentence in the second sentence; 3. use pronouns in the second sentence to refer back to nouns in the first sentence; 4, state the connecting idea in a specific form in the first sentence and then resiate it in a summarizing noun or phrase in the second sentence; 5. use hook words such as “this,” “that,” “these,” “those,” and “such” before a repeated key word or summarizing noun or phrase Another way to think about doverailing is to remember that most sen- tences are made up of two parts: old information and new information. The old information is what has already been named or discussed. It usually appears near the beginning of a sentence. The new information is the point the writer wants to add. It usually appears near the end of a sentence. Sentence old information new information A dovetail takes the new information from the end of one sentence and restates it as the now old information at the beginning of the subsequent sentence, Sentence 1 Sentence 2 a BaB c old new old new information information information information Obviously, though, itis unrealistic to assume that all sentences should follow a strict A+B, B+C, C+D pattern, In reality and in good legal writing, the pattern is not followed rigidly. Quite often, for example, sentence three will start with oid information B. Sentence | Sentence 2 Sentence 3 A B c 8 D old new ald new old newa 64 A GUIDE TO EFFECTIVE WRITING S430 ([EANPLE In 1983, the Montana legislature adopted new and stricter laws to deal with drunk drivers. This legislation extended law enforcement jurisdiction and generally provided for faster and stiller penalties. Brendon J. Rehan, Montana’r Legislative Attempt to Deal with the Drinking Driver: The 1985 DUI Statutes, 46 Mont. L, Rev. 509, 310 (1985). This legislation also demonstrates a definite trend in ‘Montana towards greater liability for the individual and a preference toward upholding drunk driving convictions regardless of mitigatis Another useful variation of the pattern is to begin a sentence with a com- bination of two earlier pieces of old information. Sentence 1 Sentence 2 Sentence A BOB c Bee D old new old new old +old new When the defendant entered his hotel room, he was surprised to find two men, rummaging through his suitcase. One of the men turned toward him, drew his gun, and aimed tat the defendant. Under these circumstances, he defendant had every reason to believe that he was being robbed and that his life was in danger. This pattern works well when the writer wants to point out the similarity in ‘two or more cases just cited EXAMPLE Courts in both Arizona and Utah did not uphold convictions when the vehicle's motor was off. State v. Zavalo, 666 P.2d 456 (Ariz. 1983); State v. Bugger, 483 P.2d 442 (Utah 1971). These cases are significant because in both instances the engine was off and the vehicle was completely off the highway. Some writers unconsciously reverse the old > new pattern, They begin a sentence with new information and tack on the old, connecting informa- tion at the end. The result is a halting, disjointed style. The defendant need not insure the plaintiff's safety; he need exercise only reasonable care. Potter v. Madison Tavern, 446 P.2d at 322. He has breached his duty to the plaintiff if he has not exercised reasonable care. Revised: If he has not exercised reasonable care, he has breached his duty +0 the plaintiff943.2 CONNECTIONS BETWEEN SENTENCES ‘Occasionally, however, itis awkward, if not impossible, to move the old information to the very beginning of a sentence and the new information to the very end. In such cases, remember that the old > new pattern is a general principle, not an absolute rule {A final bit of advice about doverailing: Avoid using hook words without repeating a key term or using a summarizing noun or phrase. See section 8.5.2 on broad pronoun reference. Beane ‘At common law, a duty is established when the defendant stands in a spe cial relationship to the plaintiff. This can exist between a specific plaintiff and a specific defendant, Revised: This special relationship can exist 65