Bill Baren Blog Blog Archive Just me being personal

http://www.billbaren.com/blog/?p=158

Just me being personal

When I first started to write my newsletter, it was very difficult for me to write about anything personal. I made up a story that people didnt care about me. All they wanted to read from me were my business building tips, success mindsets or any other relevant information on how to get clients. But over the last few years, I have allowed myself to open up more and let people into my world. And its been an incredible relationship building adventure. It all started at the urging of my business partner, Patrick, to shoot a video with Gia simply announcing my engagement. I didnt want to do it but Patrick can be persuasive, so I finally agreed. Getting Gia to do the video was even more difficult, but she finally relented. What happened shocked me I got more comments and emails from that one video than anything I have ever done. What!!! Since then, I have done everything possible to bring the human Bill element into everything I do and its made a difference. We would all rather engage with someone who is open and personal. We want to know about people we do business with. We want to feel like we are dealing with real people who care about us. We do not want to deal with closed and impersonal corporations trying to sell stuff to us all the time. When you speak about who you are and when you speak your truth your newsletter subscribers are going to respond Here are a few tips on that for ya: Write the way you speak. There is no reason to use big words or fancy language. Write as if you were speaking to a friend who you care deeply about and are pretty familiar with. Dont worry about making mistakes. Share powerful opinions even if you think some of your readers might disagree (especially if you think people might disagree!). Share perspectives that need to be said, but others are afraid to say. Scary perhaps. Powerful definitely. Tell stories from your own life experience. People love stories that allow them to extract whats useful to them and their own lives. I remember 4-5 years ago, my ex-wife emailed me after reading one of my newsletters. She said that it sounds like I am leading a charmed life, that everything seems so neatly put together and that I come across as perfect. I didnt like getting that email because heres someone who knows me and is telling me that I am not being altogether real. That authentic email from my ex-wife made a huge difference for me on my journey towards being more real and personal in my own communication. I learned that sharing things about my journey that havent been easy or flattering is part of who I am, so why omit them from my communications. So I want urge you to be more YOU, including all the rough edges, when you speak to people in your life, your clients, your newsletter subscribers and even your potential clients. This will allow you to feel better in your business and your business will reward you with more revenue, more clients and more fulfillment. So how are you going to be more authentic in your next communication/newsletter? Warmly, ~Bill
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33 Responses to Just me being personal

1. Sharman Says:
October 20th, 2011 at 1:35 pm

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Bill Baren Blog Blog Archive Just me being personal

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Thanks Bill. I really enjoy getting your newsletter and reading your realness and genuineness.. I really do not feel like a number or an individual you are trying to sell something to. Your emotions and feelings come across the paper and compels me to let you know how much I truly appreciate you. I do not know you personally, but reading your emails I feel I know your heart. Thank you. 2. carla obrien Says:
October 20th, 2011 at 1:39 pm

Permission and encouragement to be who I am! To be authentic and to go after what I know, Wow! Well timed for me and impactful. Thanks Bill! 3. Helen Says:
October 20th, 2011 at 1:44 pm

Hi Bill: What a great post. People certainly like to interact with someone who is real and not hiding behind a closed door. I learned the lesson of being who I am when I started blogging and writing my first book. It has made a difference in my relationship with others. 4. Ruth Schwartz Says:
October 20th, 2011 at 1:44 pm

Bill - I loved this! Good advice, and I did take this approach when setting up my portal website. I have gotten lots of great feedback that people learned more about who I am and wanted to see what I would be up to next. Thanks so much for writing this piece. It not only revealed even more about you, it is really good advice. 5. JK Says:
October 20th, 2011 at 1:51 pm

Just tell the truth which is so amazing and publish my book under my real name. 6. Naima- billiondollarcourage.com Says:
October 20th, 2011 at 1:51 pm

You just hit it for me Bill. Im always checking in to make sure Im being authentic and I had an amazing experience over this past weekend thats forever deepened my willingness to be real all the time. Im speaking next week and look forward to bringing full truth while dozens of eye balls are watching. Keep going. Influence and impact. Naima 7. Regina Reiter Says:
October 20th, 2011 at 1:53 pm

Bill, Thanks for this. Im enjoying participating in the MOE/Confidence Building courses. The content is rich and the delivery is straightforward. I appreciate your invitation to share! What I could share in my next newsletter is that I havent sent a newsletter for a few months while Ive been in
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Bill Baren Blog Blog Archive Just me being personal

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What I could share in my next newsletter is that I havent sent a newsletter for a few months while Ive been in transition in my personal life - sorting out relationships! Although Im walking my own talk - which happens to be walking(!) - the journey is still unfolding. Ive been shy about sharing it enroute. When I really look at it though, as a human story, this journey from my past of marrying someone who mirrored my self who denied her passion and life purpose to a future of a partnership with someone who mirrors my lifes passionate purpose as a consummate Nature loving long distance hiker is unique, and possibly very interesting and inspiring to others. So, thats what I could share with my community - whats been happening while Ive been incognito and how using the tools that I promote really has gotten me through! I can be my own testimonial! Thanks for the invitation! In joy, Regina Reiter forgivenesswalks.com 8. Brad Codd Says:
October 20th, 2011 at 2:16 pm

Just the inspiration I needed to include more of my personality into my very left-brain business model. Thanks Bill! 9. Bruno G Says:
October 20th, 2011 at 2:16 pm

Bill, I agree with you, in life we need be authentic, we dont need to represent, If someone want to be actor, they can go act in Hollywood Drama or in a Mexican or Italian Western. I am coaching Brazilian Real Estate market, in Portuguese, when I ask what they like about me and my coaching, most of them tell me that my own examples shows them that I am a human being like them. The reality is that we were blessing be exposed to the coaching system before of them, and thanks to the coaching I personally bring my business from $ 8,000.00 to $238,000.00 per year, and now that the real estate market is down, thanks to the positive mind set we can overcome all the issues that shows up every single day, week or even years. All the best to all of you boys and girls Bruno 10. Deborah Robson Says:
October 20th, 2011 at 2:20 pm

I have been learning this lesson. I did some instructional videos and ended up in tears at the end. I was asked if I wanted to re-shoot. I asked the director what she thought, and she said it was fine unless I was uncomfortable with it. (These were not self-produced.) I said that it was honest, and therefore I could live with it. I still can. Continuing to look for ways to do that. I also have a goal of not impinging on my family members privacy in my public postings, which makes it a little challenging sometimes, but Im finding my way. 11. Dan Gosling Says:
October 20th, 2011 at 2:21 pm

People trust people they know. People buy from people they know and trust. My new mentors have been telling me the same thing, Bill. Tell your customers who you really are. Our new newsletter, my new blog (I think this whole internet thing just might catch on, by the way!) and new videos are all being done with that in mind. Lone time friends are saying I didnt know Dan was such a ham! Cool! Thanks for the reinforcement! Best, Dan 12. Brad Waters Says:
October 20th, 2011 at 2:47 pm

Thank you, thank you, thank you. This sure needed to be said. People talk all the time about authenticity but there is
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Thank you, thank you, thank you. This sure needed to be said. People talk all the time about authenticity but there is far too little evidence of it being taken to heart. I own a business so sure I like business tips, but there is an endless stream of lifeless business tips. I want to see a personal connection. If you can connect to a reader on why something makes sense and how it impacts real life people, then its something that keeps readers engaged. But even more importantly, the lack of authenticity or personal voice does nothing to further human connection. It just closes us off to each other and makes the web seem cold and impersonal. Like a bunch of robot autoresponders. We need to relate to one another, open up and even share flaws & mistakes that allow us to connect on an empathic level. Frankly, if a writer doesnt write in his/her voice, or if a speaker doesnt speak from his/her heart, its going to become obvious, the quality will suffer and the message will be forgettable. I vote for putting an end to the old tired regurgitated stuff and only offering something to readers when its authentic and quality. This admittedly coming from someone who has let the old tired stuff slip through from time to time, only to not feel proud of it later. 13. Laurie Phillips Says:
October 20th, 2011 at 2:54 pm

I agree! Thanks for spilling the beans, Bill. 14. Talayah Stovall Says:
October 20th, 2011 at 3:02 pm

Bill, you are so on point! When I wrote my first book, I got great feedback on the analogies and advice, but one person told me that he didnt know any more about me personally than he did before the read the book. I realized that I was hiding behind the veil of good advice. Since that time, Ive learned to open up about my personal experiences - successes and failures - when I write and speak. I receive the most feedback on my newsletters and speaking engagements when I am honest about my challenges, mistakes Ive made, and the lessons I learned from them. People thank me for sharing experiences that they can relate to and lessons they can apply to their own lives. And, its so much more fun for me to share, authentically, from my heart. 15. Mark Franklin Says:
October 20th, 2011 at 3:06 pm

Great reminder that personal stories are good share not just in presentations but also in email newsletters. While Ive known the power of stories for a long time, and our narrative approach to career counseling is based on peoples stories, I havent yet shared personal stories in our newsletter. Will do so! Thank you, Mark careercycles.com 16. Kate Short Says:
October 20th, 2011 at 3:14 pm

Bill, Thank you for the reminder to write how you speak. This is something that I have definitely struggled with. What has helped is imagining that Im writing a letter to someone I feel very comfortable and relaxed with, like my partner or my grandmother. Something about picturing the audience helps the words to flow. Thank you for sharing your authentic self and journey with us! Its inspirational. With gratitude, Kate 17. Peter Says:
October 20th, 2011 at 3:57 pm

This was very timely for me Bill. Thank you. Only yesterday I was realising that its very difficult to position myself in the marketplace if Im not being clear to my potential clients about who I really am, my values, what I stand for, how come I do what I do, my stories of struggle, the falling off the horse and recommitting, etc.
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the falling off the horse and recommitting, etc. Big thanks Peter restorativepractices.co.uk 18. miri yuger Says:
October 20th, 2011 at 4:28 pm

This is so true, being authentic as oppose to worring about our looking good makes all the diffrence in any relationship. I for example, never responded to your newsletters altough I like your ideas and found many of them very helpful only because English is not my native language and I was concerned about My not looking good in case I make a language mistake. That will not stop me anymore! Thank you so much, Miri Life Coach, Israel 19. Mark Reynolds Says:
October 20th, 2011 at 4:30 pm

Wow, how beautiful that was said. I am amazed just how more receptive people are to what you say or want when they feel an emotional connection. People are more comfortable hearing that you may not have an answer to their question than to seem as though you always do. Being vulnerable with failures or short commings give not only a better connection but give you more credability. I learned this the hard way. So appreciated Mark 20. Lileen Shannon Says:
October 20th, 2011 at 5:24 pm

Hi Bill: Your blog is excellent. I have a hard time with my blog and writing because Im trying to impress the reader instead of just being myself. Your tips and authentic blog made quite an impression on me and Ill utilize your tips to write my way:) Thanks for sharing. Lileen 21. Luey Says:
October 20th, 2011 at 5:42 pm

Hi Bill! I can see from reading others comments that your post resonated with a lot of us. I know for myself your authentic vibe was a big factor in what impressed me when I first heard one of your teleseminars (with Molly Gordon, another very authentic individual I respect and admire very much!) I find it really encouraging, especially considering all of the chaos going on on the world, to see so many people focusing on heart-based genuineness and sharing in all aspects of their lives. We each have something unique to contribute. On that note I want to share one of my very favorite quotes relating to your post: Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You. Dr. Seuss Thanks for being you and sharing! 22. Tracy O'Brien Says:
October 20th, 2011 at 5:58 pm

Thanks for the reminder, Bill. I came from having live blood cell analysis today, and she confirmed that my body is telling me to BACK OFF!!! She even knew I had been having heart palpitations without me telling her anything about it. So as a coach, Im sitting here pondering should I tell people, as it may affect their view of me as someone able to coach them if I dont have it all together.

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You answered my question. I may not be able to speak to being in complete health as I am very much in the midst of needing to change my life, literally to save it, but it will definitely speak to those with wellness opportunities. Thank you also for the coaching call the other night. Listening to you made me feel better about backing off of the pace at which I give information. Your relaxed style, the lack of rushing to give us more and more info, made it easier to assimilate what you were saying. It also created a safe space where the hurry and worry of life came down to a sane pace that was peaceful and welcoming. Thank you on so many fronts, Tracy OBrien 23. Myrtis Williams Says:
October 20th, 2011 at 6:59 pm

Thanks Bill for sharing your personal experience to reach the truth of who you are. People do relate to peoples stories. We are on the same frequency. I have always self-disclosed during any speech. I worked as a counselor and trainer over ten years and to tell a personal story always hits a home-run with people. Continue to Keep It Real! Myrtis! 24. Susie Anne Bartsch Says:
October 20th, 2011 at 7:53 pm

Great stuff, Bill. I am in the process of creating copy for my first ever website and I am weighing in on the authenticity/looking good scale. You have helped me see even more clearly that authenticity can look good. Thanks. 25. Tracie Sage Says:
October 20th, 2011 at 10:42 pm

I have a strong commitment to being real, Bill and sometimes I wonder if its a fine line. Not too long ago I had a yoga studio that was not making its overhead and I was going into greater and greater personal debt trying to keep it open for the benefit of my teachers and students. I wanted to be authentic so I shared the truth with them all and I wasnt so sure it was a good thing. Some of my students seemed very uncomfortable knowing the truth and some of the teachers left the studio. In effect it made the situation worse for me. And the other side of that coin is that if the studio had gone under sooner I might have a smaller debt to pay now. So maybe if I had shared the struggle more openly earlier on it would have expedited my relief. I still wonder how best to navigate that line. 26. Michelle Pavel Says:
October 21st, 2011 at 1:05 am

Bill, I have been racking my brain with ideas how to stand out and be different with my new membership program. Even though the topic is serious I thought I would try to add a little humor, hoping this will help my members feel a little less stress while carrying out their boring, but necessary, business tasks that will ultimately help them to see the new possiibilities for themselves and their business. So thank you. 27. Jennifer Shaw Says:
October 21st, 2011 at 9:23 am

Hi Bill, Thanks for timely email as just today I found myself getting caught between Who I am and What I should say, as I create my newsletter. In our businesses I believe many of us use language that is not really who we are to try to prove our expertise in marketing. I have to smile because this is something i always ail at miserably! I know that you and Patrick were able to teach me so much in CMB because the pure authenticity you always bring to the table. Oprah had a great quote in her network last night that went something to the effect of You are in responsible for the energy you bring into a room. I believe when you do show up vibrant and alive standing in who you are along with the helpful information you tribe is waiting to hear, you are then bringing forth the gifts you are meant to share and all will prosper.
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prosper. Have a wonderful weekend Bill & Patrick, Jennifer Shaw 28. Lev Says:
October 21st, 2011 at 9:42 am

Thanks Bill, Very timelyIm about to launch a new coaching program, and your words will help me to launch directly from my heartchallenges and all. thanks, Lev 29. Rhonda Hess Says:
October 21st, 2011 at 12:22 pm

I made the same shift last year, Bill, and agree, its brought a much richer and connected community so much more joy than just being about delivering gems and tips. Love the way you are YOU! 30. Bridgit Says:
October 21st, 2011 at 1:21 pm

Bill, I really liked this article. Its the most personal one Ive read from you. Youre right: we are fascinated by people more than tips. Im being called to share more of my adrenal burn out story for a class I want to do on the topic. thanks! 31. Bill Baren Says:
October 21st, 2011 at 7:12 pm

Wow such an outpouring of amazing comments! 32. Wendy McDonnell Says:

October 21st, 2011 at 9:48 pm

i prefer engagement, openess and personal. thats what i like about your posts. thanks for sharing 33. Christiane Says:
October 23rd, 2011 at 9:23 am

Bill, Id like to thank you very much for sharing this with us. This is awesome and really inspired me.

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