50 Reasons Why Cats Are Better Than Men

1. Cats bathe once a day at least!

Aunt Sarah s

2. Cats appreciate it when you fix them nice dinners. 3. A cat is always happy to see you. 4. Cats are adorable even in the morning! 5. A cat with a hairy back is cute. 6. Cats never hog the covers. 7. Cats don t try to fix household appliances and just make them worse. 8. Cats don t say things like, Have you put on weight? Cats just meow!

9. Cats never forget to leave the seat down, because they use a litter box. 10. Cats never make major purchases without consulting you because cats don t have credit cards! And motorcycles sounds scare them anyway!

11. Cats always listen to you, and never interrupt with their own stories. 12. Cats don t have in-laws! 13. Cats are never late for a meal. 14. Cats chase after a ball of string, not a TGIFriday s waitress. 15. Cats don t complain when you get a short haircut. 16. You can leave food out for a cat if you re gone overnight without the cat freaking out and calling you at your sister s house asking how long to nuke the leftover chicken. 17. Cats don t sweat buckets if it gets over 70 degrees out. 18. When a cat says Meow! he s being cute, not quoting an Austin Powers movie from, like, 20 years ago. 19. Cats actually mature as they get older. 20. Cats actually like to cuddle. 21. Cats don t burp, or if they do, they re not proud of it. 22. Cats have whiskers, but they don t call them flavor-savers! or offer the neighbor s wife a ride for five cents, even if it is a joke 23. Cats never accuse you of not having a sense of humor. 24. When cats withhold affection, you know it s only for a little while, not forever. 25. Cat breath smells like cat food, not cheap bourbon and Altoids.

26. If you don t want a cat sleeping all around the neighborhood, you can legally get it spayed or neutered! 27. A cat would remember to pay the mortgage, if you had both agreed it was the cat s job, and not try to blame the woman and say, Dammit, Sarah, you should have reminded me! 28. Cats don t wear their old high school letterman jackets even though they can t button it over their beer gut. 29. When you rub a cat s belly he doesn t immediately try to push your hand further south. 30. There s a musical called Cats! Nobody would go see a musical called, Neal, The Biggest Mistake Of My Life 31. Cats might bring home a dead mouse, but they don t bring home live crabs. 32. Come to think of it, even if it s a dead mouse, at least it s a present every once and a while.

33. Cats have nine lives. You only have one, Neal. Only one. 34. Cats don t blow things out of proportion and say you re making Death Threats . If I was making death threats, you d know it! 35. Cats don t dial 9-1-1. They can t hit the numbers with their big furry paws! 36. Cats don t want a trial separation. They want milk!

37.If a cat made an appointment for couples therapy, I bet the cat would show up! 38. Cats don t give up on 17 years of a marriage just because they re going through a rough patch. The average life for a cat is 14 years, so they couldn t even if they wanted to!

39.Cats don t run away. And if they do, they have tags so people can bring them back to you! 40. Cats don t judge you for eating a whole pint of ice cream and watching The Beach House. 41. If you don t have any Kleenex handy to wipe your tears, cat fur is just purr-fect! 42. Cats want to stay in bed all day, too! 43. Cats know people have needs! They don t say it, but, you can tell they know. 44. Cats are fine if you re spending more time on the internet chat rooms, and they won t tell anybody your real age. 45. Cats don t have shoulders - but you can still cry on them! 46. Cats would call me, if they left, and they could use the phone, even if they didn t want to come back. I bet they d call me, just to see how I m doing.

47. On a cold night, when your heat s been shut off, a cat will keep your feet warm. 48. You can never have too many cats! 49. If a cat were city health inspector, I bet the cat wouldn t say your home was a safety hazard due to feces and Toxoplasmosis! 50. Cats are the cutest!

CATS!!!!!